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autisticlancemcclain · 9 months

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parts one two three four

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Lance wants to bolt the second they step out of the castle, but he knows better than that. So he waits, watching them carefully from the windshield (he’s got no better word for it, okay) of the bridge until they’re itty bitty specks. Then he throws on his backpack, grabs his scanner, waves to his pets, and runs in the direction the beast was last seen.

He keeps up a pretty quick pace for a while, not bothering to muffle his footsteps — he doesn’t want to startle the poor thing — and keeps his ears peeled for the sounds of a large animal making its merry way through the woods.

By ‘large’, he means ‘unfathomably gigantic’, because everything on this planet seems to be. Every tree is as wide as four Hunks, and taller than the castle. The various small woodland critters he’s seen running around have been at least the size of Pidge. Idly he wonders how the hell the evolution on this planet even worked, because all the flora and fauna seems to be gigantic, but the people here aren’t much bigger than humans.

He eventually starts to hear the sound of running water, and wastes no time following it. If he’s correct — and he truly thinks he is, as does Coran — this beast will be sitting carefully by the river’s bank, waiting for fish to swim close to it.

See, Lance is almost sure this beast is the planet’s equivalent to a grizzly bear.

And he’s positive it’s injured.

It’s the only thing that makes sense! He did some light research last night, and discovered that the planet is right in the midst of their springtime. He also discovered that, over the winter months, the planet’s city limits had expanded pretty dramatically, cutting into a large chunk of the forest. Lance believes the new city limits bled into the bear’s hunting grounds, and when the bear woke from hibernation in the spring and went looking for food, it ran into the new neighbourhoods. Startled, of course, it got defensive, only further terrorizing the people. Lance thinks that the bear was dazed enough to be hurt by the city’s armies, and now the bear is in pain and full of anger towards the new animals in its territory.

Of course it’s attacking.

Now, if only the team stopped a goddamn second to listen, and I wouldn’t have this problem, Lance thinks to himself, but pushes the thought away just as quickly, scowling to himself.

He forces himself to pause the reflection and save it for later, because it’s not the right time. He’s on a mission. He doesn’t have time to feel sorry for himself, let alone have time to be mad at the team.

It’s just as well that Lance pulled himself out of his thoughts, because straight ahead, looking at him warily, is the bear.

And oh, what a beast it is.

The dignitary — not to give him any goddamn credit, the bastard — was barely exaggerating. The bear is huge. It’s definitely not bigger than a castle, sure, but it’s big enough that Lance knows to keep a respectful distance, and right now the bear is sitting. He can’t imagine how scary it would be on a rampage.

For the first time, a tiny tendril of guilt crawls up his spine. The dignitary might be a pompous dick, but Lance is starting to realise that’s coming from a place of genuine fear, for themself and for the people they represented.

(Lance is still not going to kill the bear, obviously. It’s not the bear’s fault that it’s scary. But Lance is willing to admit that he did not handle the situation with the dignitary like an adult, and especially not like a paladin, and probably owes them a bit of an apology.)

“Hey, there,” Lance says softly, slowly swinging off his backpack and setting it down in front of him.

The bear growls in warning.

“I know, I know, you like your space. I’ll stay over here for now.”

Without looking away, Lance crouches down, blindly searching around the bag until his hand wraps around the two objects he’s looking for. He slowly takes them out and carefully sets one of them — a back of Altean-style dehydrated wild berries — on the ground in front of the bag. With his other hand, he pours a steady stream of water on the pouch, and he and the bear both watch as the pile of berries gradually grows in size until it’s the size of Lance himself.

Lance sits next to them, criss-cross-applesauce, with his backpack on his lap.

“These are for you,” he says, tone even. “I figured it might be pretty hard for you to forage or hunt right now. You must be hungry.”

Logically, it should be impossible for the bear to understand him. But it must like his tone, because slowly — ever so slowly — it uncurls, keeping a careful eye on Lance as it limps over to him and the berries next to him.

Its legs are the size of Earthen tree trunks. Its head alone is bigger than Lance. Its teeth —visible now that its mouth is open, tongue hanging out, salivating in anticipation of the wonderfully juicy berries — are sharper than any razor.

Lance should be afraid.

He’s not.

“Oh, you’re a beautiful thing,” he coos as the bear leans forward and takes a tentative bite from the pile.

The bear side-eyes him — a look that so clearly says ‘bitch, please’ that Lance can’t help his laugh.

“And you take no shit, huh?”

The bear grunts, apparently deciding the berries are safe, and then digs the hell in. It devours the pile so quickly that it’s there in one second and gone in the next.

Once the pile is finished, the bear turns to look at Lance expectantly.

Lance holds his hands up. “I got nothing!”

The bear huffs — no, really — and ambles closer to Lance. It lowers its great head down, and with a nose bigger than Lance’s head, starts sniffing Lance’s backpack for more.

Lance laughs again. “There’s nothing in there, you silly creature. No food, anyway.”

The bear finally decides he’s telling the truth — or, more likely, doesn’t smell any more food — and flops to the ground, looking to Lance in what he can only describe as petulance.

“I have no more food,” Lance says again. He reaches out hesitantly, slowly, and carefully rests his hand in between the bear's cute little ears when it makes no move to stop him. “But I might have more help for you, though.”

The bear rumbles. Lance takes this as an indication to continue.

“I noticed you were limping. Your front right leg. You’ve got some matted blood on there, too. If you’ll let me, I can clean that wound, stitch it right up, and you’ll be as good as new. That sound okay?”

The bear doesn’t make any more noise, but it does flop over on its side, leaving its right side up for access.

Lance takes a deep breath.

“Okay, big guy. Let me fix you up.”

He gathers up his bag and walks over to the wounded leg in question. He inspects it, but can’t really see the wound under all the blood.

“I’m going to clean it first, okay? I’ll get some river water first. That’ll be better than antiseptic.”

The bear grunts.

Lance grabs a clean cloth out of his bag — really, it’s a queen-sized sheet, but in comparison to the bear looks as small as the tiniest of rags — and soaks it in the frigid river, ringing it out as best as he can with his tiny human hands.

He walks back over to the bear and begins gently wiping away the nasty, coagulated blood from matted fur. It takes a while, but he’s eventually able to see the wound.

He does not like what he sees.

The wound starts cleanly, like it was a cut, but then looks torn, like the flesh was ripped. Lance isn’t sure what weapon may have caused it — that’s more of Keith’s thing — but knows it was certainly no natural cause.

“I’m going to need to apply quite a bit of antiseptic,” he tells the bear, even though the bear most certainly does not know what that is. “It’s going to hurt, but I need to do it, because it already looks a little bit infected.”

He opens his massive tub of antiseptic and holds it out for the bear to sniff. Its giant nose wrinkles, and then it looks pained, but it carefully lays its head back down on the ground and tenses its muscles.

Lance takes that as permission.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” Lance babbles as he pours the horrible chemical over the wound and the bear roars in agony. “I know, I know. I know. It’s okay. Let it out. It’s done, now, once the sting fades.”

The sting must fade eventually, because the bear quiets, although it breathes heavily and remains tense.

“It’s okay,” Lance whispers, petting the first patch of uninjured fur he can reach. “It’s alright. The worst part is over, okay? That hurt so bad that you’ll barely even feel the stitches, okay? Just the smallest pinch.”

The bear whines, high and long, and Lance bites back tears.

This could all be avoided if people just used some compassion, for fuck’s sake.

He closes his eyes and swallows roughly. That’s not fair. It’s unlikely that anyone meant for this to happen, and it’s unfair for Lance to blame people. Sometimes life just sucks.

But it’s his job as a paladin to make it suck marginally less, and by God, he is going to do his job.

“Ready for the stitches, big guy? It’s the second-to-last step.”

Lance reaches into his back again and digs out the absolutely giant suture needle, so big it’s basically a weapon, and the beast-sized sutures. He gets to work carefully stitching up the wound, applying every ounce of Abuela’s sewing lessons into his furrowed brow and steady hands.

It takes a while, but eventually the wound is closed up neatly.

“Almost done,” Lance assures the bear. It makes an almost purring noise in response, which makes Lance beam in delight.

He takes two last things from his pack — some Altean antibiotic numbing ointment, and a mummy’s amount of bandages.

“This’ll be cold,” he warns, before spreading a generous amount of the ointment onto the wound. The bear audibly sighs in relief, slumping further into the ground as its muscles finally un-tense.

Lastly, Lance carefully wraps the wound in the bandages until it’s completely covered, then stands back, hands on his hips, to access his patch job.

“I think you look okay!” he says with a grin. “Try standing.”

The bear gets up using its three unharmed legs, then gingerly applies weight to the injured one once it’s balanced.

It blinks.

It applies more weight.

Suddenly it roars, in delight this time, and ducks its head to nudge Lance gently in thanks. Lance laughs, petting the creature everywhere he can reach.

“You’re welcome!” The bear makes that almost-purr noise again, and Lance sighs. “Now all we gotta do is convince this whole damn planet that you’re a big, giant softie.”

The bear pulls its head away, making Lance pout, and stares at him for a moment.

“What? You have any bright ideas? I, unfortunately, did not plan this far. I kinda thought something would come to me on the way.”

The bear grunts. Then it opens its great jaw, reaching for Lance, but it doesn’t eat him — it carefully hooks Lance’s hoodie in its teeth, lifts him up, and tosses him gently on its back.

Lance blinks.

“Well this is a — development.”

The bear grunts again, pawing at the ground. It starts off down the river, but not in the direction where Lance assumed its cave to be.

It’s headed to the city.

“What’re you — oh,” Lance cries, and is a little embarrassed to be outfoxed by a bear.

“That’s a great idea! If the people see you treating me gently, then won’t be so scared, and I’ll be able to explain. You’re so smart!”

If Lance didn’t know better, he’d think the bear seemed smug.

But he does know better, so he gets comfortable, organizes his pack, and starts planning what he’s going to say to make this whole crisis blow over.

#INTRODUCINF THE BEAST #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #klance #pre klance #original animal character #team as family #lance is good with animals #langst #smart lance #bamf lance #longpost #my writing #lance is a disney princess #fic

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zecoritheweirdone · 21 days

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hehehehehhooo,, decided to draw some hermits as the mystery skulls animated gang!! why? uhhh mostly just 'cause.

special thanks to the ibaaf server for helping me pick the roles! gem is vivi,, false is arthur,, pearl is lewis,, and etho is mystery!!

better pic of pearl under the cut, where you can how lazy i am,,ms ksmsksjs

#my art #hermitcraft #mystery skulls animated #falsesymmetry #geminitay #ethoslab #pearlescentmoon #falsesymmetry fanart #geminitay fanart #ethoslab fanart #pearlecentmoon fanart #this wasn't supposed to have this much effort put into it. and then it took five hours.#chose etho's role first cuz i really like the kitsune etho headcanon #(yes his collar has a maple leaf on it)#and the lil deadbeats are a bunch of lil tillys!!#we also gave roles to some of the other characters. bdubs is shiromori and cub is reverb/???/possession guy #sorry guys; you're antagonists now 😔#actually i don't think cub would mind this #also i refuse to think any harder about what bdubs being shiromori means. they're both plants okay.#it was either this or joel #or that one sock monster guy from season six #joe and cleo are duet and chloe respectively. joe as duet fits. cleo as chloe does not but also no one else really fits chloe anyway so idc #no more wanting an undead boyfriend.... THEY are the undead boyfriend now.#i think we had uncle lance as iskall??? still not too sure #they both have beards tho. that's something #oh!! also rendog is galaham bc i said so.#anyway. please watch msa it's so so good.#(or watch hermitcraft if you haven't already. a new season started a while back it's the perfect time to join)#not sure if i'll draw more of this;; this is less an au and more just me being silly #but i hope y'all like it regardless!!

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randomminty · 2 years

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Just a buncha cynthias

#some of these look out of character but eh #pokemon #art tag #champion cynthia #i draw cynthia so much shes so fun to draw. illl never know how her hair works that wont stop me #ive started watching a bunch of the pokemon anime even though i never liked it before. MAN i was missing out #i mostly just tuned in to see it butched my fav characters but thats the completely wrong mindset to watch it in #ive been watching as somewhat separate to the games and its so much fun #and the dub…… its good but so unintentionally funny #i didnt care abt alain but after seeing him go MEGA EVAAAOLVE like 5 times in the mega special i adore him #if i dont see miarin in the anime again ill cry i miss her #last thing about the anime for now i forgot they kept lances old va for journeys #im used to his pokemas and generations voice which is p different so that was funny. leons journeys va is so good too #ANYWAYS CYNTHIA. cried when i saw her again in journeys. shes so cool

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karo-li · 11 months

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i've been feeling like shit for a while and i thought "hey lets redraw this cozy art of lance from 3 years ago"... but then smile turned into a grin, bc "i'm trying my best but it's not working and i know it's only in my head"... welp yeah, angst i guess. feeling like your not good enough is the worst. there are times when you are proud of yourself but then are also days when u just, just don't wanna exist bc of that.

woah, it turned out really sad, didn't mean that. BUT good things, SUMMER STARTED! ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

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kaiowut99 · 7 months

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oh my god it's good to get to see these in-context finally

Vector's quality long-game plan, you kinda see it as a bit too good to be true that this new "transfer student" cozying up to Yuma is natural but you roll with it, then notice those quick nuanced looks the past 10-15 episodes as a little detail gets mentioned about the Barians and you start to see him look a little fishy, then "Vector" kidnaps him and has Yuma think he's dead to get him to lose his shit by also making this big reveal

And he set Yuma up with Limited Barian Force to use his fitting Vain - Sneer of Betrayal Trap on his "V" Monsters--his Hope Ray "V"

Seeing Yuma distraught at what he thought he knew crumbling, the trust he put into "Rei" all that time (and sticking up for him against Gilag ofc) working against him and even causing a slight rift between him and Astral... also, the BGM playing as this all goes down... He's being an absolute troll about it all, right down to using his Shingetsu voice to really rub salt into the wound, and yeah, it's good stuff

I did have some inkling at the twist eventually coming being in the fandom as long as I have and Vector being such a meme (but being so because he's seen as a great villain), but did my best to avoid/scroll past spoilers going into watching ZeXal for the first time the past while, and even then it was done pretty well to still make the twist land nicely.

[also, checked the dub on a whim, and it's nice the dialogue is mostly intact, but oof dub!Yuma really could not do distraught... though it was interesting that Liscio Jr. sounds like he played R[ei/ay]? Apparently Vector too, but they put a voice filter on him so even if he's supposed to be mockingly using Ray's voice it doesn't hit the same as JP!Vector mockingly going "I lured you here and you thought it was all for the beeest to involve people that didn't need to be"

Also, Durbe I think at some point in Vector's reveal originally says he's pulling "a clever move," his tone implying he's a bit annoyed at the lengths Vector's going here and that there's some history there, but that line's removed in the dub

also how dare they cut the close-up shot that got the entire episode's art budget spent on it]

bonus: me on five hours of sleep:

#Lance watches ZeXal #they really did spend the episode's budget on Vector rip Kite #looking forward to how it goes uphill from here #the OST really has been good too through ZII but really has picked up the last couple eps #and last ep with the Gil-bo Noh team animation was A+#ZeXal #yugioh ZeXal #yugioh #ygo #ygo zeXal #vector #Rei Shingetsu #Yuma Tsukumo #Kite Tenjo #this is like finally getting to the 'The gays... they're trying to kill me' line in White Lotus's S2 finale haha--top notch #JA JAAAAAN

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dazai-is-a-sweet-bean · 2 years

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Okay who is the one in ur fandom who has quite a shitty backstory and probably is broken and hurt deeply inside but the fandom made him that "meme lord"

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arbuthnotblob · 9 months

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Lance Week '22 Ultra-Delayed Crosspost, Day 2! Whew! The theme for this one was 'Day Off' - surely it's not really training to take a nice early-morning run into the mountains with your squad of high-flying dragons, right? [Said dragons are thankfully well-practiced hands at making sure their beloved eejit of a trainer doesn't push himself too hard]

#pokemon lance #champion lance #wataru #johto #Blackthorn City #Dragonite #kairyu #lance week 22 #ABC Work #hgss #bonus points for identifying which sports anime the tracksuit is from #though I did flip the colours #the Dragonite Squad are here to make sure Lance is around for a Good Time and a Long Time #and hoo boy does he probably need the help #gestures vaguely to that knee brace #and Team Rocket and Legendaries and all sorts...#I have a personality and specialisation for each one #but I'll get into that someday!#eventually xD

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adhd-merlin · 2 months

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Ah someone else who has discovered the joys of Camelot (1967) a movie that I am completely normal about. Have you watched it? Because the delivery of the lines is everything and if you need someone to talk to about it I am, once again, completely normal about it. The scene where Lancelot and Arthur first meet?? A masterpiece in sharing a single braincell. And don't even get me started on the way Guenevere first treats Lancelot "have you jousted with humility lately". It's unapologetically at the top of my Arthuriana movie rank list and has gotten me to reread The Once and Future King

I have not watched the film yet!

I've been listening to the original cast recording on Spotify but, most importantly, I've read the book of the original Broadway production (1960 libretto) and I love it?? It's a delightful little read on its own, even without having watched the musical. (I want other people to read it please it's very funny I promise)

I guess the 1967 film script won't be identical to the libretto but I assume it's fairly similar.

The scene where Lancelot meets Arthur was hilarious it made me laugh out loud. Lancelot utter puzzlement ("Gone a-Maying, Your Majesty??"). Arthur's sudden self-consciousness.

And don't even get me started on the way Guenevere first treats Lancelot "have you jousted with humility lately"

I know!! Lancelot's grating self-righteousness coupled with his complete lack of self-awareness is so funny.

And I loved the gradual tone shift. It starts out so silly and the tragedy sneaks up on you — I thought Guinevere and Lancelot's affair might be played for laughs with an oblivious Arthur but no, it turns out he's fully aware of what's going on and he's forced to watch it unfold because he's powerless to stop it? and he loves them both and doesn't want any harm to come to them even as they betray him??

(He continues talking, looking from one to the other, feverishly — painfully) — Excuse me??

and King Pellinore is hilarious, he enters the scene wearing a monocle followed by a little mongrel named Horrid and talking like a character from a P. G. Wodehouse's novel. Extremely validating because when I read that chapter in Le Morte d'Arthur in which King Pellinore first makes an appearance my first question was "is he meant to be this funny?" and the answer from this script is a resounding YES.

I think I might perhaps watch the 1968 stage production first, merely because it's available for free on Youtube (at least in the UK).

I might try hunting for a free streaming link to the 1967 film, though I don't mind renting it if I can't find it.

#also the hawk motif got me ok #arthur asking merlyn to be turned into a hawk at the beginning #so he could spy on guinevere #telling merlyn he loved it when he turned him into a hawk that one time #arthur telling guinevere later that merlyn used to teach him lessons by turning him into different animals #and that he was meant to learn something from each one #but he didn't know what he was meant to learn from being a hawk #and then going 'oh no I got it!'#'when I was flying I could see there are no visible borders. why are we even making war to each other #over something that doesn't even exist. that's stupid. we are meant to live in peace'#'that was the lesson. I will create an era of peace'#and then his dream starts to crumble right before his eyes as lance and guinevere fall in love #and then him crying out to merlyn when guinevere was tied at the stake #asking merlyn to turn him into a hawk so he could fly away #like a lost child!! merlyn wasn't even there he hadn't been for years!!#I'm feeling so normal about it #sorry I just thought it was a good script!#regarding the songs – they didn't blow me away but I'm enjoying them!#they might grow on me still. probably more enjoyable when watching the film #I think my fave atm is Then You May Take Me to the Fair #“You'll pierce right through him?” “You'll open-wide him?”#GIRL why are you making it sound like that...#she's never been normal about lance not even for a minute not even at the start #asks #camelot (musical)

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livefinn · 10 months

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i guess this is it

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starberry-skies · 7 months

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the sibling dynamics in voltron are so top tier they make me fucking unwell. like shiro and keith teasing and being honest each other + pidge and matt complimenting and bouncing off each other like ughhh it's so good

#chirping #'color coded of course. because what are we? animals?' aaaaaa!!! aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! ok!!!!!!#also lance and pidge are SO sibling coded too. like them gossiping to each other at dinner is so cute i'm dead #AAAAAA they just. yeagh .#also ikikik i've talked abt this before but shiro n keith in there nestled against his pulse. they fucking killed me.#like yeah lance dropping 'sweetheart' and keith's '...praying.' was sad and heartbreaking but 'make sure my baby brother stays safe'#had me fucking SOBBINGGGGG #ALSO. also also also also. the Fight Scene. that's coming up i think? god that was so good #i was prob thinkin abt uhhhh sh*pc0urse while watching it so i didn't get the full experience (vld fandom in 2017 was definitely. A Time.)#but i cannot waittttt to rewatch it aaaa!!!!!!#junos watching

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keithsautism · 8 months

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kinda wanna write a ficlet of a pokemon/klance rivals au where they're adults and all fucked up from their adventures and backstories

#imo raising pokemon would be like parenting #EASY TO MESS IT UP #especially if you dont have good role models #klance #keith with his houndoom and lance with his starmie #this is because I had a dream when I was on paroxetine that I had a pokemon adventure. and had a massive crush on my rival #and basically we'd just battled and I lost or felt like I did (whether or not I actually did) and was staying over in a city #in a hotel and had drunk a big bottle of jack daniels to drown it out #and thrown up in the hotel hallway. so I had to get my starmie to use hydro pump and try to clean it before anyone noticed #and I felt so guilty and embarrassed about making starmie do that that I woke up #tell me they wouldnt have houndoom/starmie #psychic is altean markings. Space creature. Lone wolf. Fire water. Psychic dark. Theyre evenly matched in theory.... with anime logic #starmie is meant to be from space right? idk . or the gems blink with the stars or something like that

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autisticlancemcclain · 9 months

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parts one two

———

Lance is feeling remarkably better at dinner. Coran wasn’t sure about the plan, at first, but Lance was very convincing, so he relented. It helped that Coran also is not fond of needless animal murder, which is why he’s Lance’s favourite.

(Well, currently. Usually everyone is tied for his favourite, but no one else had his back today at the meeting, so they’re all currently tied for second-favourite. But they’ll have a chance to redeem themselves after this mission is over.)

He and Coran are the last to arrive to dinner, predictably, so Lance doesn’t waste a second.

“I am now on your side,” he announces as soon as he walks through the door. “You’re all correct, we should get this alliance at all cost, and murder the beast in cold blood. I am completely on board with your plan and happy with all the innocent blood about to be on my hands.”

The team, also predictably, stare at him in shocked silence. Lance sits primly in his chair, accidentally-on-purpose elbowing Mullet in the head, and immediately shoves food goo in his mouth so no one can ask any follow-up questions.

Also predictably, that does not work.

“…There were a lot of contradicting words in that announcement,” Mullet says. (Lance is currently very mad at him and as such he has been demoted from fond nicknames and even his regular name so he will be Mullet until Lance wants to bite him — angrily, angrily, not the way he usually wants to bite him — less.)

“Ooooh, SAT word,” Lance responds, just to be a jackass.

(It works. Keith reaches over to attempt to flick him, but unluckily for him Lance is very used to that reaction to his particular brand of annoying, and so Mullet falls off his chair due to Lance kicking it out from under him before his flick lands).

“So,” Lance says, as Mullet curses at him from the floor, “does anyone else have any comments or concerns?”

There is a very heavy, loaded silence, before Shiro, Allura, and Hunk sigh in tandem.

“Yeah, you’re not going to be leaving my sight,” Hunk says.

“Agreed,” Shiro mutters, head in his hands. “Sorry, buddy, but at the moment I can’t trust you not to go rogue. I was going to let you stay on the castle with Coran, but I no longer think that’s viable. You’ll have to stay with me for the mission.”

“That’s fine,” Lance says, working very hard to shove the smugness out of his voice. He thinks he does a pretty decent job. “You’re all dead to me anyways, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Christ,” Pidge mumbles into her goo.

Allura pinches the bridge of her nose. Lance hears her muttering ‘I signed up for this’ over and over under her breath.

The rest of the meal passes in tense silence. When Lance finishes, he stands up abruptly, tucking his chair back in with enough force that he might as well have thrown it, and washes his dishes with such vigour that he actually has to slow down so they don’t break. He then stalks to the door, pauses, and faces the team (except Coran, who is visibly fighting back a smile and avoiding eye contact — hehe, Lance knew he’d get him fully on board eventually).

“I am going to go to bed, for my final night as a man with a soul,” he says. “I’m sure the rest of you soulless individuals will have no problem going right to sleep tonight, but I will be tossing and turning for the whole time, as I ponder how many of my moral codes I will be breaking tomorrow, so I’m going to get an early start so I can squeeze out as much rest as possible. Have a wonderful rest of your evening.”

He walks calmly out of the room until he’s out of eyesight, then sprints full speed to Coran’s room, resisting the heavy urge to jump on the man’s bed to expel some nervous energy. Instead, he meticulously reorganizes the advisor’s bookshelf. (He gets pretty into it, honestly. Coran has a veritable rainbow of colours decorating the covers of his collection, and Lance loves to go ham with the colour coding. That’s the best part of the ‘tism, he reckons.)

“I had those ordered in a specific way, you know.”

Lance practically jumps to his feet at the teasing remark, turning to face Coran so fast he makes himself a little dizzy.

“Did it work?! Are they suspicious?! Are they ready to velcro me to one of them so I can’t run off?!”

“It did work, you evil mastermind. They’re all convinced you need to be under constant surveillance. They’ve even created shifts so you’re always being watched.”

Lance cheers.

See, his plan is really quite simple. No matter what he says or does, the team is never going to fully trust him with this mission. And understandably so — Lance has made his position quite clear. It would be foolish of them to think that Lance wouldn’t try anything. No matter what, they’re going to be wary of what Lance is doing.

But Lance was counting on that, you see.

He fully expected to be under watch. He also knew that they expected him to fight them, tooth and nail, the whole way. But if he subverted their expectations, just a little — if he said he was on board with the plan while making it very clear that he had no intention of following anyone’s orders — well, now they’re paranoid.

And if there’s one thing paranoia does, it’s make you sloppy.

Tomorrow, they’ll be so focused on watching Lance, so focused on thwarting whatever potential mutiny that they think he has cooked up, that they’ll be forgiving if Lance’s mannerisms are a bit… off. They’ll expect it, even. And they’ll spend so much energy on watching Lance and planning for his acting out that they won’t notice if Coran, up in the castle, isn’t sending a constant barrage of cheery check-ins on the comms.

And, most importantly, they will not be investigating the beast very closely at all.

The actual plan is very simple, with all that information in mind. All Lance has to do tonight is record and set up some of Coran’s regular check-ins to sound off during the day. Then Coran is going to exercise his shapeshifting ability — he’s going to turn into Lance for the day, as shifty and suspicious as possible.

And Lance? Lance is going to sneak out the castle after everyone’s already gone, find the beast before they do, and solve the problem his own damn self.

After all, that’s what the stupid dignitary wanted.

If you wish to sign an alliance, the paladin must handle the problem himself, the dignitary had said. Lance smirks to himself.

That’s not a problem.

Not a problem at all.

———

part four

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