anon i saw this last night and got so excited this is genuinely the best addition to the verse i’ve ever seen you are INSPIRED i had to write this
Michael’s in his office when it happens for the first time.
It startles him, not only because he’s completely zoned out and it jolts him back to the realm, but also because it…sounds like Luke?
Hello? he tries. There’s a pause.
Wow, he hears Luke pray, and frowns. That’s definitely Luke. Didn’t think this would work.
What the fuck? Michael prays back, frowning. Since when can the fucking Devil pray?
Dunno, Luke prays, but Michael can detect the glee in it. That’s the thing about prayers from non-angels; Michael doesn’t just see what Luke wants to show him. It’s a raw process, bearing every part of himself for Michael to see.
What the fuck do you want? Michael prays, because he’s bound to listening to prayers, as Luke is fully aware.
Heard you’re good at healing broken hearts, Luke prays, and it’s smug, and Michael inhales deeply, exhales heavily, and kneads his temples.
Fuck you, he returns.
I’m serious, Luke protests, but Michael can hear the laughter seeping into the edges of his prayers. I don’t know how to get over Ashton.
I’m not the angel to talk to about this, Michael prays determinedly. Try Chamuel. Duty fulfilled, he closes the channel, and flips to the next page of his report.
You know what I hate about December? Michael gets in the middle of the night, and groans.
Yeah, shit. An annual reminder that Jesus exists.
Least you’re not up here, mate, Michael returns, slotting Churchill’s file back in the cabinet. You’ve only got to remember him once a year.
Cal told me about the onion thing, Luke prays, and Michael grins.
Worth the demotion, he prays back.
It’d get you a promotion down in Hell, Luke prays, like that’s some kind of incentive.
You done? Can I close this now? Michael prays, pulling out William the Conqueror’s file.
No, Luke returns, with a hint of smugness. I never told you what I hate about December.
Don’t fucking care, mate, Michael prays, flipping to the page about William’s coronation.
It’s cold and empty, Luke prays melodramatically, like my heart without Ashton. Michael sighs heavily.
“Ashton,” he shouts.
“What?” he hears an annoyed voice call back.
“Luke’s praying to me about you. Again.”
“So, tell him to fucking stop.” There’s a pause.
“Would’ve done if you hadn’t cursed,” Ashton retorts smartly, and Michael’s going to kill the fucking both of them.
I’m broken, a voice complains, and Michael sighs.
Fuck off, Luke.
How do I recover from the pain Ashton has caused me? Luke laments, and Michael groans, presses the heels of his palms to his eyes.
I would, but the love of my life is in a different realm, Luke prays melodramatically, and Michael can hear the amusement seeping through into the prayer. How many prayers will it take to get him back? Must I recant every sin before I will be accepted back into his bosom? Michael pulls a face.
Don’t ever talk about Ashton’s bosom again, he warns, and he hears Luke’s laughter echoing through the channel.
Oh, how I miss those hazel eyes, blinking at me in the morning after a long, long night of passionate lovemaki-
FUCK YOU, Michael prays, as hard as he can and seals the channel, figuring dealing with those repercussions will be less painful than dealing with the mental image of Luke and Ashton fucking.
“So,” He says, swivelling around to face Michael. “You are aware that being an angel - an archangel, no less - requires listening to prayers?”
“From the fucking Devil?” Michael says sceptically, and He arches an eyebrow.
“Nobody is beyond redemption,” He says, and Michael rolls his eyes.
“Are you serious?” he complains. “Luke’s so far beyond redemption that he’s created a fourth Realm. Heaven, Earth, Hell, and Luke.” God snorts.
“Yeah, well,” he says, with a shrug. “Those are the rules.” Michael stares at him in disbelief.
“You can change the rules,” he says. “You’re God.” God grins, eyes twinkling.
“So I can,” he says, and steeples his fingers against his chin, still grinning. “But changing them in this case would deprive me of the entertainment of you having to put up with Lucifer, so I’m not inclined to do it.” Michael gapes at him.
“You’re just going to let him fuck with me?” he says incredulously, and God laughs, leans back in his seat, and shrugs again.
“Got to get my kicks somewhere, haven’t I?”
Michael, he hears, and immediately groans.
The Archangel known as Michael is closed for business on the following topics: love, sex, relationships, romance, and Ashton, he tries.
You know what isn’t closed for business? Luke replies. My heart for Ashton. Michael rolls his eyes.
“Ashton,” he calls.
“What?” Ashton shouts back.
“He’s doing it again.”
“Luke.” Ashton pauses.
“Praying at you?” Michael nods, forgetting Ashton can’t see him through the wall.
“Yeah,” he calls. “Can you tell him to stop?”
“No,” Ashton says, and Michael hears the unmistakable sound of ruffling feathers.
“You’re a bastard,” Michael says evenly.
I think it’s integral to my prayer that you know the full extent of the pain I’m in, Luke interrupts, mock-serious. I think it’s most important to start with the physical side of mine and Ashton’s relationship-
Michael groans again, slams his head against his desk, and covers his ears with his wings.