#late night contemplations

[lotus-eaters101]

But I divide, fold my life in two

I've confided it all in you

Night after night

Slowly descend

Light after light

Goes in the end

#techno music #night after night #camelphat #quotes #minimal techno #technomusic #techno mix #chill beats #sick beats #insane #song lyrics #beautiful song #beauty #beautiful lyrics #Spotify #late night contemplations #night #lights

[your-heart-is-a-treasure]

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.

#late night contemplations #contemplating life #the matrix #distractions #find the light #life is precious #be true to yourself #self contemplation #set yourself free #life quotes #spiritual quotes #life reminders #meaning of life #life advice #relatable quotes #wisdom quotes #lessons to learn #truth quotes #higher self #quotes to think about #quotes to remember #patience is a virtue #everyday life #heart quotes #god quotes #seek god #positivity #inspiring words #message in a bottle #soul quotes

[syzaa]

Life As It Is

through the high tides and the low tides......

“I needed to be somewhere different. Maybe I needed to be someone different too.”

Contemplating life

How often do we think if only we made a different choice at that specific moment, life could’ve have taken another direction altogether.

We could’ve been doing something we love or hate for a long time until the point we realize if it’s what we always aspired to do. I find myself in such situations almost on a regular basis. Just like eating, sleeping, attending lectures, labs and doing all the chores in between, I like to contemplate life.

Here is a record, a glimpse, an insight of calculated and uncalculated thoughts, ideas whilst navigating a way through the map of mind & soul.

It’s the digital diary era, I guess.

#self care #life #late night contemplations #just contemplating #my diary #digital diary #words #places

[verticaljones]

This song…it’s just so sad. My heart drops when she says, “Maybe we’ll be butterflies.”

CAN YOU IMAGINE?!

#erykah badu #late night contemplations

[sinfulloccultist]

Someone better hold me by the fuckin neck and PUNT me down Viccy falls cuz I'm actually considering redrawing those gods awful gaithers pond characters!

#gaithers pond #redesign #redraw #o gog help me #late night contemplations #this is why people think im on drugs

[thequeenofthewinter]

What do you see?

Rating: T Warnings: None. Characters & Pairing: Dahlia Wintersnow, Ulfric Stormcloak AO3 Link

On the tops of the parapets of the Palace of the Kings, Dahlia Wintersnow stands, barefoot and in her nightgown, watching the waxing moons’ soft glow through the dusky snow clouds which constantly seem to plague her home city. A frigid wind blows over her casually, causing the hairs on her arms to stand on end, but otherwise, she appears unbothered by the temperature. This is due to the blood of her Nordic heritage, and actually, if you would ask her, she would probably say that she feels most at home in the cold and snow…or in her lover’s arms. 

What brought her from her slumber this night is not simply to stargaze; she has had a lot of things on her mind lately which have been eating away at her conscience. Normally, getting some air clears her head, but at the same time, as she looks up at the sparce stars dotting the night sky, she can’t help but wonder…how will everything turn out, and what is her place in all of this?

She has been pushed to where she is ever since she found out that she was the Dragonborn—the hero and supposed savior of all of her country and all of her world. However, the more she thinks about her destiny and the things she has done, the more she wonders about where the path of her life is taking her and if she is worthy of where it will lead. Sure, she originally set out to study Restoration magic at the College, and later she defeated a world-eating dragon god with little more than her sword and her sheer determination—but this, the Civil War, possibly becoming High Queen and what comes after…it is enough to make herself doubt.

Is this what her creator, the Dragon God of Time Akatosh, wanted for her? Is it what she wants? Is she capable of doing this?

Dahlia shivers a little—not from the cold, but rather from the unknown of own contemplations— and pulls the black bear cloak slung over her shoulders tighter against her.

What would Ulfric say if he could see her now?

It is not that she has doubts about him or that she wants to be with him. No, she would never doubt him. Since she has known the Jarl, he has always been so self-assured, and he has always held the strongest of convictions in what he believes in. It is something that she has often admired about him. And despite the fact that others might mistake his ruthlessness in the Civil War as an egotistical power grab, she knows that he only wants what is best for Skyrim. 

She can see it in his eyes as he gives impassioned speeches from his throne to his soldiers. It is also in the way he carries himself and moves through a room. Ulfric was born for this, after all he is a Jarl. He has roused the hearts of hundreds—no, thousands—of citizens to fight for him and swear their loyalty to him. He can command an audience of snappish, squabbling nobles to silence with a single word. There is something about him—no matter what others might say about him—which makes people gravitate towards him and want to listen.

And who is she but a lowly, common-born girl who just happened to be blessed with the soul of a dragon? There is nothing special about her.

Unbeknownst to Dahlia, someone is watching her from the doorway leading back into the Palace. His imposing figure is carefully hidden from her so that he can observe her from a distance.

What is she doing out here at this hour?

Half-silhouetted in the moonlight, her pale skin glows, and she has left her normally-braided hair unbound. While she would tell you that it is nothing special—mid-length and dull brown—, Ulfric would say her hair is one of her most beautiful features, after her eyes, of course. Her hair reminds him of the color of earth after a rainstorm; it is a rich, deep brown.

He would even go so far as to argue that her nature can at times be much the same as a storm: strong, beautiful, and wild. 

She does not let others influence her nor tell her what to do. She knows what she fights for and gives herself to what she believes is right—not just for herself—but for anyone and everyone she meets in her path who is suffering. Perhaps, that is her best quality, and also her greatest curse because she feels too much. He can see it in her eyes.

The rains of her emotions follow her and drench everyone in their path. The most stunning part of this is when she looks at you. Who she is and what she feels is reflected completely in those hazel eyes of hers. It soaks into you, catching you off guard. Perhaps, this is how he became so swept up in her. Caught in the shifting green-brown of her irises, he saw the sparkle of mirth and mischief, as well as selflessness and conviction—and promises of things Ulfric never thought he’d ever be lucky enough to have.

As much as he finds her captivating, she is so much more than her appearance, and if he had any sense, he’d take the Amulet of Mara burning a hole in his pocket and give it to her right here and now and marry her. Instead, he simply walks towards her, catching her by surprise, before pulling her into a kiss. There will be time enough for marriage proposals later.

#skyrim #skyrim fanfiction #late night contemplations #dahlia wintersnow #ulfric stormcloak #winter writes

[never-mind-then]

I feel like everything we do is so fragile. We do things, learn things, think we will remember them forever. And before we even know it, they're gone.

I think that's why so many people like to document their life. Because you grew up, doing all these amazing things. They were great, the best thing that ever happened to you, and now they're all gone, and you don't even remember them, most of the time. And once we realise that, we swear it will never happen again. We take pictures, write diaries, tell stories over and over again, just so they live on. We wish we could change the past, reflect on it again and again.

And then, moments later, we turn around - and the only thing that was left of all the good and of everything we've learned is gone. And there's only us, and what we became.

And that is what makes this all so terrifying. Because we can't hold on to what was, and how we once felt, or acted, or wished we did. We can only try to recreate ourselves how we wish we were - every single second anew.

#spilled thoughts #spilled ink #writing #my writing #late night contemplations

[soakedmatches]

You were never homesick

You were only ever sick of home, tiring of all the arguments and bitter berating that lit fires around our house

You only served as a can of gasoline, spreading the flames until I could hardly block out the crackles to which I’d wake underneath headphones and that weighted blanket you gave me

-

I grimaced as the scent hit my nose, revealing my hair was singed in the crossfire

I spent hours glaring at candles, pyromania as I tried to figure out what it was that made you flicker so violently

Perhaps it was genetics, or maybe your explosive grew with time and environment

In either case, I must’ve taken a different turn somewhere

-

I am an echo of a flame, a shadow that grew from fire and followed the ashes until it ruined me

Maybe my indifference arose in following your fire

In becoming apathetic to the wreckage 

-

Now, with your room empty, bedsheets tucked, trophies untouched, my echo slowly muffles and stifles

Where is a shadow if not for the flame that allows it? That guides it into existence?

I breathe in ash. I am part of the wreckage.

#poetry #siblings #what now #late night contemplations #do i miss you? #i wish you missed me #poem #quotes #original poetry #dysfunctional family

[intankhasanah]

Will You Refresh Your Memory?

It’s hard to define whether we lost some memories or it’s our faith that has faded away. And it’s a common thing to happen. Life is not always easy to live.

Life is a long journey that does not always give us mercy, especially when teaching us some lessons to learn. Hence, the key is to regain the memory we have forgotten, which has contributed to sending us where we are in the present. Because to remember is to relive the life that is once worth the effort. That's how we also solidify our faith again.

Let me tell you this. There will come a time when you completely forget who you are, what you're looking for, and why you're still here. And along the way, there will always be some signs or guidance that will help you to remember every little thing that gets blurry in your mind.

Sometimes they come from unexpected people. Sometimes they come in some circumstances that are not always convenient to experience. Sometimes they come in a simpler form, like a short sentence on a billboard, a notification on your smartphone, or a monologue from a movie you just randomly picked.

Maybe at first, those reminders don’t ring a bell. But just wait a little longer. Look a little closer. Listen more carefully. Sometimes what you’ve been looking for is already with you.

When you remember, no one can take away your power. No one is capable to lessen your worth. No one can define you, except you.

Suddenly, all doubts and intrusive noises, whether from the outside or you, will become irrelevant. And once again, you can get going with this journey called life all over again.

#life #contemplating life #3am thoughts #words #wordsofwisdom #late night contemplations

[crazy-stupid-potato]

does anyone else not understand how people can think about what they want to say before they speak? my mum always tells me i should, but then pushes me for an answer quickly as though. how do people keep up such an easy flow of conversation AND think about what they are going to say next? is it just me?

#late night contemplations #i am frustrated

[darkbitchithic]

not to be overdramatic or anything, but I find it truly fascinating the lasting power of gay people in fan spaces

personally, I think it's likely a combination of misogyny and demographics when we get down to it. there are so few meaningfully and intentionally deeply written lady characters in media of all mediums that hererosexuality becomes almost paper thin - the veneer of heteronormativity over so much media is hindered by its own misogyny, and so we barely have many heterosexual couples that grab people in fan spaces as firmly as one might expect. in so many of the fandoms I frequent, I see the trend of m/f ships, while popular in the onset, very quickly being suprassed by m/m ships in popularity and this is a trend that I see lasting through decades of fan content and general fandom. gay ships just last longer, and while it is important to look at why that is in regards to cultural trends, I think it is also beautiful how this gives room for so many gay spaces to develop as a result. I know so many folks who are ride or die for media that, while not overtly gay, gave them a space to explore themselves and their identities amongst peers and I think it's wonderful how gay folks have been able to carve out a relatively major spot for themselves where many writers and showrunners absolutely did not expect or want them to be.

while m/m shipping is the ultimate result of writing that can't comprehend women, it also gives so much space for queer folks as a broad group to really flourish. I know there are definitely folks who have studied this in depth and probably have more concrete data than my tired ramblings, but I just think a lot about how queerness perserveres in this relatively small way.

there are drawbacks to this ofc, largely in regards to women, f/f, ships and non-binary characters just as a broader group, but eh I'll take a win where I can get it. kirk and spock are in love, luke is a gay icon, and the queers persevere

#fandom #gay #queer fiction #queer studies #late night contemplations #fandom discourse

[lotus-eaters101]

#late night contemplations #evolution #evolove

[chilledagridolce27]

Like I wanna be friends with my mutuals but I'm also okay with this cozy yet passive acknowledgement done through reblogs/likes/comments.

Real convos vs this comforting familiarity and I don't wanna choose

#me #my thoughts #late night contemplations #@ my mutuals #i love yall

[brainonthebox]

I think the secret to picturing a Utopia comes down to imagining what it's like for the worst-off person there.

#showerthoughts #paradise #utopia #late night contemplations #feeling philosophical #philosophy

[rabprabp]

What if I become them

What if I turn out to be like them inheriting their bad behaviors learning their bad habits What if the history repeats itself

I grew up having this insecurity in mind, only to find that it was confirmed by my experience and surroundings. It felt like a self-fulfilling prophecy and more like a nightmare that the things of which I am afraid actually happened. For years, I have lived in that self accusation.

As times goes by, my effort has become more ‘methodological’, I periodically do self ‘check-up’ and meditation, I identify the root cause, I assess the impact, I develop the approach to tackle the root cause and minimize the negative impact, I do journaling so I can look to it when I need it later. I also set my own indicator or checklist so I know if I need professional help or another supporting tool. I try my best and I set my rules so I won’t be like them and hurt other people the same way they did me. 

I have tried so hard to make everything right and catch up to unlearn those bad treatments and heal my emotional wounds. I want to be independent and self-sufficient. I wanted to be every good thing they were not. 

This is my problem alone, so I will handle it on my own.  I don’t need help,  simply because in my opinion asking for help is a weakness  and people will not understand.

I try to forgive too, but this is the hardest part that I keep postponing to do, or maybe I already had a try once or twice but it failed and I did not give a try again, or maybe I thought I already forgave them when my heart did not. I can’t tell the difference because all I can tell is that the time when I tried to forgive was the real challenge and it opened up the buried neglected wounds I once had that I hid under an extravagant coat.

I try I try Don’t you know that I have tried The unfruitful outcomes do not mean that I do not try Now I can see myself turning to be like them One by one is revealed to me that I am them I can see myself repeating what they did

Right now I try not to hate myself and learn to re-practice the things I mentioned above, again and again, but maybe not alone. I may discover new things along the way, or maybe the methods I have will not be suitable for the current-and-future ‘me’ but I am fine with it. I have learnt the hard way that support and help may come in so many forms together with love, care, patience and a healthy relationship. But I need to find the right person first to share.

But again, I am hopeful I believe that my efforts won’t be in vain All the tears and time I won’t be wasted I believe I can get better, and this is for myself And I hope somebody will learn from my story,  so they don’t need to take the wrong way I did,  so they don’t feel alone in this world because somebody else, me, is also struggling with a similar problem

 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. - Psalm 34:4 (NIV)

#opinion #my story #emotions #personal blog #childhood #getting better #my writing #self contemplation #spiritual journey #late night contemplations #quiet contemplation #writing

[sweet-sexy-small]

What about those of us who never experienced a kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Or a barbecue on the beach with friends for the 4th of July? Those who get a knot in their stomach just because someone simply asks them what they did over the weekend, so you make up a lie to hide the truth that you were alone. Again. Those who are aware that our paths are different and we aren’t built like everyone else but still get anxious that our clock is ticking and we will never go on mini adventures that blesses us with a thrilling story we tell at parties. That we feel guilty for wasting our lives when others got theirs cut short. That we try to convince ourselves that we are fine and content so we can sleep at night but wake up asking ourselves is today the day something amazing happens to me? And when we finally tell ourselves we are going to make a change, to make that amazing thing happen by our own hand, we realize we have no real idea, no clear cut direction, no courage. So we stay put. For forever?

#small talk #writersdiscourse #quarantine #tag yourself #personal #confession #writer #dont @ me #late night contemplations #late night #free write #my youth #adulthood #breakup