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#later on i think it's a lot less accurate bc it's a lot more abt growth within the au
katsidhe · 2 years
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Scrolling through your blog and reading abt your thoughts in regards to dean and Sam and their ability or inability to sdjust to a life outside hunting/interact and bond with people outside that life.
I like to theorize that a lot deans issues with that stem from his the fact that all the shit that's so common in hunters as coping mechanisms and/or personality traits (the violence, the bottling up of emotions, lashing out, black and white world view etc) simply isn't sustainable in a 'normal' life.
Because it's much more stationary. Because the consequences of your actions will catch up to you. Not as an apocalypse, which you can fight by way of more violence and more bottled up emotion, where you have a distinct 'enemy'.
Instead consequences will manifest for example as a failing relationship, with a partner, a child whatever. People in general eventually not putting up with your harmful habits anymore. And this is something that can only ever be 'fought' by actively improving yourself.
I think the show could have done very interesting things with this, especially in later seasons as Dean got more and more extreme. But characteristically, it didn't.
The closest thing it ever did was in school days. Now, I love that episode for the reasons every Sam inclined person does but I also really love its characterization of dean. And how even as a kid his adoption of all of John's (hunters in general) habits/coping mechanisms severely hindered him in forming any kinds of relationships where he could be held accountable for his actions. (I don't think he can really be blamed for that yet. He was a kid after all. And John was his father.) And he only had to stay there for I think a bit over a month?
I of course love every single instance of any female character putting dean in his place but the one in school days is one of my favorites. Because she reads him so accurately and it's such small stakes but you can see how this would develop into adulthood so well!)
Uh anyway. Everything comes back to deans (and the shows and to a lesser degree every other characters) inability to hold dean accountable. Bc the boys didn't have a childhood where accountability for the way they treated other people was a thing. They ditched whatever place they were at before anything could catch up.
Sam of course spends a lot of time in the show holding himself accountable and pointedly improving himself. Which is why he functions outside of hunting in multiple instances.
The truth about a 'normal' life is that it's meant to exists in stability and peace. And those things require introspection and work. And, of course not as simply as that, but people can leave. And they can hold you accountable. Not just practically but emotionally.
It's much more difficult to bring yourself to hold someone accountable for their violent outbursts when you know they've been tortured in hell, been tortured into torturing, than it would be in a normal situation.
I think subconsciously dean is constantly relying on how many reasons the hunting life gives him to behave the way he does. And uses that to bind people to him who have difficulty holding him accountable. Especially Sam.
But seriously what the fuck am I doing. I'm so sorry. I love everything you write so you get any essay completely unrelated to any of it.
<3
I find this really interesting actually! Because I think you’re right, that a lot of Dean’s commitment to (and terror of anything but) hunting is a need to maintain the socially impermissible ways he maintains his identity. This encompasses a lot of things, some of them benign and others less so, but Dean’s built himself on this strange combination of both sharply conforming to certain societal ideals, and taking pride in how off the norm he actually is. Like, he’s built himself of a movie version of the ~cool outsider type~.
I will say that I think s6 explores this relationship a little bit more, with Dean and Lisa’s relationship. And that of course ends disastrously, with Dean’s inability to completely protect (and control) Lisa and Ben making him decide to take matters into his own hands, in the hunting world: he takes their memories. This is an egregious violation, of course, and on a certain level Dean knows it—but what gives Dean what he sees as his right to do this is the intersection with his world. It’s because hunting has touched Lisa and Ben that Dean feels justified in exercising an authority he’s used to having in this sphere of his life.
Furthermore, Dean even eschews community within hunting itself. He and Sam are isolationist first by habit, then by necessity, then by a mixture of both. Even though Dean gets along well with plenty of individual hunters and conducts himself well in gatherings like eg 12.06, he’s fundamentally drawn towards the small, the close, the intimate: one on ones rather than large groups, which he distrusts. It’s Sam and Mary rather than Dean who organized and gravitated towards the Apocaworld group, for instance. It’s visible in 14.10, too.
It’s not that Dean isn’t a good leader, or that he doesn’t do well in leadership positions—it’s that he strongly prefers the insular model he’s used to. And that he strongly prefers the hierarchical role he finds himself taking in that model! Like you say, the people close to Dean, who know his history and his reasons for behaving the way he does, generally aren’t going to call him out.
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heliianth · 10 months
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here’s another ask for you: talk abt whatever you want!!!
WAUGH thank u for a new one!!!!! ilysm!!!!!
rambling abt sonic and character foils and the IDW comics below the cut this is aimless enough for me to want it be an opt-in experience LOL
i was gonna talk abt this last night but it was 11 AnyWay. i saw a criticism of the IDW comics on reddit a long time ago and its got me thinking recently. someone said they didn't quite enjoy the way the comic was tackling sonic as a character not because of the inconsistencies in his pre-established beliefs (which are present) per se but because IDW keeps challenging them in ways that don't feel, from what i remember the comment saying, "good-spirited"? i hadnt heard that critique before so it was unique enough to catch my interest but not actually think much until now. but theres a reason for that hold on ok
so. to preface this whole thing. some of the most beloved stories in the series are ones that Do challenge sonic's beliefs. thats the reason why, when the series wants to tackle more mature content, they make foil characters. sa2 which reddit largely considers as having the best story has foil characters everywhere but specifically it spends a lot of energy on it's themes of identity and growth by making sonic and shadow clash not just physically but ideologically. that talk they have after final rush/chase basically spells it out and its framed as shadow hearing sonic out and then dismissing him ("what are you/i'm me/i see, well, i'm gonna beat your ass" <- basically). and then later on sonic's viewpoint is reinforced when shadow (airquotes) dies, but not before sonic himself is visibly impacted in the credits sequence. that whole story right there was, at least thematically, one about sonic having his beliefs challenged. SatBK does this as well, a game which is applauded within the general community as having the most accurate sonic characterization. stories that do adjacent things, like the OVA, s3&k, sa1, where character foils are a prominent part of the theming (though maybe not presented in a way where sonic himself necessarily feels ideologically Challenged), are often very popular as well
the time i saw the criticism was about when the surge saga was coming to an end, but i was new at that point so i really dismissed the whole discussion. sonics allowed to be challenged, thats what happens when you have a static character as a protagonist. but now that ive reread IDW a few times and have identified some of my own issues with the run so far i've been thinking about that reddit comment more often. why is the way IDW challenges sonic so different from the way stories like SatBK or sa2 challenge him? why is one intriguing and the other not "good-spirited?" nowadays i think the issue is less with tone or intent like the wording of the original comment implies, but the conclusion of those stories. all of those previous examples i gave culimate in sonic succeeding, yes bc hes the title character, but moreso bc hes the vehicle through which the themes of the series are delivered. SatBK wasn't going to have merlina win because the story was trying to tell the audience that life is only worth living when its finite. sa2 killed off shadow because it was about how being unable to move on eats someone from the inside out. these are broad overarching themes that are present in the whole series and its generally agreed that sonic at his best is representative of those themes, which is why hes static
but IDW kind of has a messy history with conclusions. or, at least, conclusions that feel like they are trying to Say something in the way i've been talking about. after everything is done and the threat of the week is defeated, it all kind of returns back to a status quo, which im very sure is not the fault of the writers. long-running series are supposed to have a status quo that keeps stuff the same so that new audiences wont be alienated by huge character histories and lore timelines and things to catch up on (The Most Intimidating thing abt like archie for example). its partially why u see almost no fleshed out arcs that span multiple games after 06 (man the word partially is doing some legwork there but if i talked abt why sonic games changed so drastically after the mid 2000's i would be here all fucking day). and there are conversations to be held about that status quo and its place in the games and whether its beneficial or not but imo when talking about IDW, a comic which is supposed to have continuity, it kind of obliterates the potential of having meaningful conclusions and the themes that come along with them. because IDW always approaches "sonic feels ideoloically challenged" and it never goes beyond it. it nudges and hints at criticism of IDW sonic's beliefs, actions, and philosophy, but it doesn't do anything with it. the status quo says sonic can't change that much, which is good when the conclusion of stories have themes that prove he's already got it figured out, and bad when there's a big gaping question mark where a lesson should be. the surge saga i think is the glaring example of this precisely because its so conclusionless (theres also how sonic himself engages with her but thats a convo for another day).
so when that redditor said they thought the surge saga lacked a "good-spiritedness" that stories with a similar concept like SatBK or sa2 had i think they were picking up the vibes of the story being kind of... pointless at least in terms of themes and actual impact on the characters, rather than a lack of earnestness, a tone blunder, or strange intent on the part of the writers
im really curious how the urban warfare saga is resolved now precisely bc this lack of meaningful conclusion problem is so prevalent . depending on how passionate i am i may make a more formal analysis post abt it or something, but probably not considering i read IDW very very casually . which feels like a contradiction after writing all this but . yanno
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rocicrew · 11 months
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the expanse characters of your choice for the ask game!
Send me 10 characters and I will tell you who I would…
Marry: Listen, if i'm honest, i'd say Naomi. however my girl is not fond of marriage so I'll respect that. Can I say full Roci crew? Turn Holden's joke into less of a joke. (shocker from my url)
Drink tea with: hmmm, I prefer coffee but drink tea just fine, so I'm trying to think who would it be an interesting conversation. I feel later seasons Clarissa is an unhinged type of funny that could be a option. But more realistically?? Prax I feel like. Chill guy, he can tell me more abt plants, probably knows how to make great tea. Oh, also Anna, Anna would have like a calming conversation and give solid advice.
Party with: Well, the only other than Naomi we've seen partying is early seasons Drummer. Would Love to go for beers and dancing on Tycho. She’d eat me alive, it'd be great.
Kiss: Bobbie. She's not into the domestic side of things, and I wouldn't turn down the opportunity to give a smooch to Bobbie.
Go out on a date with: Given how I crossed out marriage for Naomi, I'd absolutely go on a date with her (with the prospect of a kiss or something more in mind)
Push down the stairs: Marco duh, throttle is a more accurate expression of my feelings (tho lbr he'd open his mouth and I'd get triggered and end up a sobbing mess instead of pushing him but i'd attempt)
Slap: umm Trying to think of who was a nuance but not That Bad you know. Because to them I'd do a lot more than slap, like I mean to other antagonists. (I say as if I've slapped anyone) Maybe,, idkk Cyn ? He did infuriated me a lot because he didn't have a clear stance and he did kind of enable some of Marco's abuse. I feel he's one of those character that Could've helped years back, he was older, in a mentor like position could’ve done something other than stand there and pretend things were better than they actually were and idk help kidnap a baby?
Invade the dreams of: this one is ,, a bit weird so im gonna full weird and say the protomolecule. put me in the dreamers' povs i wanna see it.
Take a nap with: Oh easy, Holden. Insomniac meets Insomniac. He's in need of a nap, I'm in need of a nap (bc they're renovating the apartment next door and walking me up with drills since way early in the morning) Win-win. Or none of us would get any sleep and end up drinking coffee instead. Again, win-win.
Rob: I'm sorry, Avasarala is the rich one in this scenario and coughs she has some pieces of jewelry id love to get my hands on soo... Unless Julie was up to helping me steal from her family and give it back to the Belt. That sounds better
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ghostofadragon · 2 years
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ok this is out of the blue but this fandom is super small so theres no one to talk to about it and also I just wanna know: do you have any thoughts on the knife scene in Batman Unburied? because I've been thinking about the podcast and that scene is one of the more stand out character moments imo because on the one hand you have Babs being noticeably scared and on edge during that part implying that despite how nonchalant she seems she (reasonably) must've been on edge like this the whole time she's been around Eddie and that her whole (more or less) cool and collected demeanor is at least in part just a brave face she puts on and on the other hand you have Eddie just straight up not getting that Babs is scared of him in that moment, instead thinking that she is worried he's contaminating evidence and only realizing she's threatened by him after being told to put down the knife thrice which implies he genuinely didn't even consider hurting Babs/Babs thinking he might hurt her an option and that's just kinda interesting imo considering he's a whole professional criminal and possibly even a murderer. aaand this implied difference in how they perceive the whole teamup situation (Babs being constantly on edge while Eddie's just having a relatively normal time mystery-solving) would also fit with how he keeps talking about them as a 'we' later while Barbara keeps telling him off that 'there is no we' (which we know can't quite be true cause earlier she kept referring to them as 'we' too as Bruce points out when they find him). But anyways...what's your thoughts on this scene or their 'team' dynamic?
hmmmm that's a good one! id have to relisten to the scene to really think about it comprehensively but from what i recall i didn't really personally interpret it as eddie straight up not realizing that barbara was afraid of him/concerned what he might do/or etc (like, after the initial misunderstanding anyway) but more that he was kind of in disbelief/maybe mildly amused and maybe also somewhat hurt by it & trying to hide it but like, in an expected way? like, 'oh yeah of course shes going to be weird about it she's A Cop and Has History With Me (Technically) why would she put any regular amount of trust in me to not be a risk with a bladed weapon and i shouldnt get my hopes up for her to not think of me that way' especially since barbara has spent like the past six(?) years basing pretty much her entire opinion of edward purely on his criminal record and specifically that he stabbed her dad With a bladed weapon so like i think its fair to say it was a little bit of a trauma moment on her part lol i definitely agree with you abt barbara being kind of obviously on edge the whole time, i can't really claim to know if this is accurate to canon or not but i like to believe that part of her unease directly stems from the fact that edward makes like, a lot more sense to her than she wants to think about. like she showed up determined to hate him and he does annoy her to some degree for sure but he is making it really hard for her to not sympathize with him and she doesnt really want to consciously confront that. i'm probably biased bc i love that kind of character dynamic but i really am a sucker for characters not wanting to confront that they are starting to enjoy being around someone who doesn't align with like, their personal image of who they are Supposed to like being around. idk i actually have quite a lot of thoughts about how barbara interacts with most of the other characters we see her with vs how she interacts with edward with respects to like, how people routinely worry about or judge the way barbara tends to do things when left to her own devices vs how (as far as i recall) most or all of edward's criticism of what shes doing comes from when shes thinking too far in the box as opposed to too far out of it. idk! they are interesting to me
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s1ep6 mr pigeon (blacklist my chirp.ml tag if you don't want these cluttering your dash. not that i'll be watching a bunch of eps back to back. and i'll probably not comment on all of them. just ones i come up with thoughts for)
the thing i was thinking about the whole episode was really that it's wild that sailor moon managed to fit these big plots into short run-times iirc
but it's so strange to me that the writers of ml can't
mr pigeon wasn't egregious like some other episodes, but it still felt like we were rushing thru everything so much and sailor moon did not feel like that ever
maybe crystal does a little bc they've obviously streamlined the storyline bc they're probably under the assumption that a lot of ppl watching crystal have already seen og sailor moon (tho i understand it's also a lot more accurate to the manga with less filler)
but even then, when i watch crystal, i don't feel like they're talking faster than they should. their cadence feels natural and normal and at a natural, normal speaking speed
everything in ml just feels sped up
the other thing i noticed was the influence of sailor moon itself on the show. and i remember from the time i was in the fandom and actively following the show, that the creator commented that he was heavily inspired by anime like sailor moon
the issue is i think he pulled a rwby and took elements from sailor moon he liked but didn't know why they worked (thanks to hbomb's rwby video for talking abt that)
like it's very obvious the transformations and the akuma are very similar to magical girl anime. but i specify sailor moon in this instance bc it feels like that was his biggest inspiration.
it's not a 1:1 comparison and no one can obvi say for sure unless the creator himself has said so and i didn't see it way back when, but the akuma feels very much inspired by the witches 5 arc, where tomoe (if i'm remembering his name, it's been a while) is making those eggs that infect ppl and turn them into negative monsters of themselves and when sailor moon cleanses them, the egg falls out, splits open, and released that negative spirit. see the similarities?
anyway, not relevant to mr pigeon, but again i think what happened was the creator took elements he liked but didn't know why and thus didn't know how to execute them. and couldn't tell his writing team/no one on his writing team knew why either. so they fumbled around and bit off more than they could chew.
that could be why the episodes feel so rushed and contrived. and hey maybe i'm looking at sailor moon thru rose-colored glasses bc i grew up with that anime. but even after having watched it a few years ago, it did not feel like the way ml feels watching it a few years later.
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eijiroukiriot · 3 years
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a small but growing collection
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starglow-xx · 3 years
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when he thinks you’ve forgotten his birthday
nakajima atsushi x gn! reader
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: fluff, comfort, angst (only for a bit!)
type of work: headcanons + drabble
synopsis: given the conditions he grew up in, he was on cloud 9 finding someone who genuinely cared about him and his happiness, but what happens when it seems that you’ve forgotten his special day?
a/n : happy birthday angel! it’s finally your birthday in my timezone! i love you so much, you deserve everything and more 🥺💗
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this boy istg 🤧🤧 he’s the most precious person on the planet
you make him so happy and he never fails to make sure you know that
ASKCLCFH he’s so cute🥺
hugs from behind, kisses on the cheek, your hand, loving whispers, lots and lots of hand holding, cuddling, all the typical lovey dovey works for you!
pls note that this was pretty much when he got used to being in a relationship bc lemme tell you in the beginning, he was a nervous wreck
it used to be you doing all the initiation of pda, or private affection, so when he started doing it, it was a pleasant surprise <33
but that’s a story for a different time hehe
when it was your birthday, he went all out !!
well
as much as his wallet would let him
but it’s okay bc dazai-san has his back!
which actually means kunikida-san has his back
er kunikida-san’s wallet would be a more accurate statement
now don’t get me wrong, he complained and at first outright refused but yk dazai most definitely guilt tripped into doing it
if anyone asks, he did it bc dazai robbed him and most definitely not bc he wanted you to enjoy your birthday nope not at all
anyways
atsushi could’ve died right then and there seeing the way your face lit up and broke into a smile that literally took his breath away when you walked into the ada later that evening
although he did panic when small tears started making their way out of your eyes
the party was a blast !!
it was very similar to the one the agency threw for kyouka except yk, it was for your birthday
although everything went smoothly lemme just say that while this whole birthday mission was being planned out and set up, atsushi was distressed
poor baby panicked abt everything and probably would’ve had an aneurysm if it wasn’t for kyouka’s and yosano’s threats with their respective blades to calm the fuck down bc it’s okay, we’ve got your back
the night ended with cuddles and soft, light kisses in bed
it was a very good day overall
you and atsushi had a very healthy and happy relationship with neither of you forgetting a special day or date
so he was slightly disappointed when he woke up on his birthday only to find you gone and left with a note saying that you had to go to work early today and won’t be back until later in the evening
it didn’t help that he didn’t get any messages from any of his coworkers/friends either
it it certainly made things worse that the ada was mostly empty when he had arrived
apparently everyone was basically busy on may the 5th every year
who’s he to complain??
was a very hurt boy when he didn’t get an answer to his text message that he sent you before he left the house
atsushi wasnt one to intentionally draw attention to himself so decided to wallow in self pity and hurt
he knows that he shouldn’t bc dazai already gave him a small lecture when it came to self pity but he really couldn’t just help it
was he that easy to forget abt? he didn’t think so after meeting you, but now?
he isn’t quite so sure
the hurtful words from the orphanage started worming their way back into his head
but every time they did, atsushi would lightly slap his cheeks and snap out the trance he was in and remind himself that yes, you and the agency did love him and want him around
but it doesn’t make the feeling of being forgotten any less heavy
GOD THAT HURT TO WRITE
it was nearing lunch time and the newly turned 19 year old was doing some of dazai’s work when he got a text message from kyouka
she told him that she was in the park and something happened so he should probably come over
he practically bolted out of his chair and started sprinting to the park bc fuck its on the other side of town
little does he know abt the panic he was abt to cause
when he got closer to the park, he was mentally preparing for whatever could’ve happened
he didn’t get much detail from kyouka but he really hoped that you weren’t there
if you were, he hoped you weren’t hurt or in any danger
he sped up at that thought
atsushi knew he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you or anyone else got hurt bc he wasn’t fast enough
but he certainly wasn’t expecting to see you running around the members of the armed detective agency around a small set up in the middle of two trees
a very lost and confused boy someone please enlighten him
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Atsushi wasn’t sure if he should interrupt.
He’d like too, so he can figure out just what the heck was going on, but he was too dumbfounded to do so.
“GAH KYOUKA-CHAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”
Atsushi watched his significant other run around one of the set up food tables fumbling with decorations in their arms. But it wasn’t only them, everyone else was practically doing the same thing.
Save Ranpo of course.
Well actually, the only one who really seemed to be in a rush was (y/n) and Kunikida. Everyone else was doing their own little tasks but at a more leisurely pace.
Kyouka, not even looking at you, calmly spoke, “Ranpo-san asked me to. He said we were taking too long and he was hungry.”
You looked at the brown clad detective who was currently sitting on top of a table drinking a bottle of Ramune.
“Ranpo-san,” you half sobbed, half wailed, “We’re never going to finish in time! He’s going to be here soon and nearly nothing is ready! Atsushi went all out for my birthday, what we have now completely pales in comparison.”
His birthday? You remembered his birthday?
“DAMNIT DAZAI IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU WITH THOSE STREAMERS IF YOU DONT STOP FOOLING AROUND—”
Atsushi watched as you breathed out another sob (but you weren’t actually crying) as you watched the mess that was Kunikida and Dazai.
“And then there’s these two” you wailed. But then you stopped as you gasped and started frantically looking in various bags.
“Where’s the cake?! And the chazuke?! Where are they?! And ohmygod where are the party poppers?! Where are they?!”
Everyone was indifferent to your panic as Atsushi watched you rummage through the bags completely ignoring the bountiful amount of food on the tables.
Junichiro, who was standing on a ladder tying streamers on the nearby tree, looked away from his task telling you calmly, “Ah (y/n), the poppers are in the green bag, and the cake and chazuke are on the table.”
Quickly reaching for said green bag, you pulled out the box of poppers in triumph making Atsushi smile. You ran around the set up once again thrusting the harmless explosive into each person’s hand, even nearly making Tanizaki fall off the ladder.
Yosano only raised an eyebrow at your panicking and watched as you lifted the lid off one pot of chazuke, yelp because it was hot, put it aside, and lift up the pot (with mittens this time) to probably place it somewhere more visible. It was well known in the agency that chazuke is his favorite food.
Atsushi’s heart swelled as he noticed several pots of his favorite dish.
Within a few seconds, you were behind the middle table muttering if you should make the centerpiece the pot of chazuke instead of the cake. Yosano made her way over to you before you moved another step. She couldn’t help but think back to when it was your birthday. Your boyfriend was just bad of a mess as you were right now. A match made in heaven she’d say.
“(y/n),” she called out soothingly, “you don’t have to be so panicked.” The doctor placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I’m positive that whatever happens, whenever he’s going to get here, Atsushi is going to like this. Just trust me on this one.”
Dazai, who somehow escaped Kunikida, also walked up to you with a suspicious grin on his face.
“I wouldn’t worry (y/n)!”
In the distance you saw Kunikida, who was for whatever reason wearing a ridiculously bright colored party hat on his head (probably Dazai’s doing) coming close as well.
“Besides! Atsushi-kun is already here! See! He’s right there!” Dazai pointed out way too happily.
“WHAT?!”
You, along with everyone else (save two certain detectives) looked in shock at the gray haired male (who was now slightly flushed with all the attention now on him) who had apparently been standing there for who knows how long.
It truly was a sight to behold to Atsushi. He wished he had camera to take a picture of how ridiculous the scene in front of him was.
Tanizaki was still up in a ladder, Kunikida was still wearing that stupid hat, and was just about to tie some streamers and ribbons around his partner’s neck, Dazai was still looking way to happy to be considered innocent, Yosano was still holding onto your shoulder, Fukuzawa was in the middle of blowing a balloon, Naomi was in the middle of tying colorful ribbons around the other tree, Haruno was on her knees rummaging through a bag with Kyouka and Kenji right beside her, and Ranpo was lazily drinking yet another Ramune on top of a table.
And then there was you.
Your mouth was gaping and you were opening and closing your mouth as if you were a fish. Your face was flushed in embarrassment maybe..? Yeah, probably embarrassment. You were still holding that pot of chazuke in your mitten clad hands, and Atsushi couldn’t help find the sight adorable.
“A-Atsushi!,” You stuttered, “W-When did you get here?!”
“He was here since you started to panic. Which was about ten minutes ago,” Ranpo nonchalantly mentioned.
Your face began to heat up even more as you turned your head the older man.
“Ranpo-san!” You whined, “Why didn’t you say anything?!”
The man in question only shrugged with indifference.
“Well you know he’s here now right?”
Suddenly, with a childish grin, Ranpo pulled the string on his popper making streamers and confetti explode into the air surprising all of you.
“Happy birthday Atsushi-kun!”
Everyone was still for a moment before sharing a knowing smile.
You carefully placed the pot on the table and put the lid back on and removed your mittens before grabbing your popper like everyone else.
“1, 2!”
Within a few seconds, more confetti and streamers shot through the air, a fun and happy vibe instantly overtaking the little park set up.
“Happy birthday Atsushi!”
With tears starting to spill out of his eyes, Atsushi could only rub them away before shooting everyone a grateful smile.
“I-I thought you all forgot, or t-that you didn’t know. I’m so grateful! Thank you, thank you for everything.”
You and some others shot each other a surprised look at Atsushi’s small speech.
You walked towards him and when you finally reached him, you took his hands in yours and intertwined them.
“Atsushi,” you began gently, “We would never forget your birthday, we would never forget you. You’re so important to all of us.”
Atsushi looked into your eyes and saw the genuineness, warmth, and love in them only to look back and see the similar look in everyone else’s faces.
Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes once again, but he managed to hold them back. He truly was so grateful for everything.
He smiled at you and you shot back with a cheeky grin.
“Now that we got that out of the way, let’s party!”
And with that, everyone began to celebrate the birthday of one of their newest members.
In fact, all of you celebrated for the rest of the afternoon, with the celebration going on until night fall.
The agency was kind enough to let you and Atsushi go ahead leaving the them to clean up.
Currently, you and Atsushi were in your pajamas inside your shared apartment cuddling on the bed.
Despite it only being around seven in the evening, the two of you were exhausted with all the events that had happened within the past twelve hours.
Although, to be fair, most of it was a blur. But despite that, the day was unforgettable and Atsushi shared that sentiment.
He had a blast.
It was nice to just relax and have fun with his loved ones without having worries in the back of their mind. It was something that didn’t happen very often, so everyone made sure to take advantage of the chance.
Yokohoma was oddly quiet today, with no Port Mafia activity, nothing; there wasn’t even a petty crime reported! Atsushi can’t help but wonder if it had something to do with what you, Dazai, and the president were whispering about when they thought he wasn’t paying attention.
Not that he cared.
It was nice not having to avoid Rashomon every other day.
“Hey,” you whispered.
He looked down at you and brushed some of your hair of your face as he hummed in acknowledgment.
“I’m sorry that you thought we forgot about you.” you squeezed one of his hands as you spoke, “It was my fault; I wanted to surprise you. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”
Chuckling at the guilty look on your face, he pecked your forehead tenderly before breaking out into a wide grin.
“You don’t have to worry about it (y/n),” he whispered lovingly, “I know that you weren’t trying to hurt me. If anything, I’m thankful for everything! Especially you.”
Atsushi’s grin only grew wider (and cheekier..?!) at the blush that overtook your face.
When did he get so sly?
You slapped his arm lightly making him laugh.
God, that was the sound of an angel.
“When did you get so upfront huh? What happened to my shy, stuttering mess of a boyfriend?”
Atsushi spluttered at your words making you laugh this time. He grumbled at the sound of your fading giggles and you pecked him on the lips making his face change at an instant. 
That stupid, goofy grin was back and you found yourself lost in his heterochromic eyes.
You snuggled closer to him and in turn Atsushi tightened his grip on you and pulled you even closer till you were pressed flushed against his chest with legs intertwined.
“Hey Atsushi?” you whispered softly.
“Yeah?” he whispers back.
“Happy birthday...I love you”
“I love you too. Thank you for everything.”
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as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3
writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason
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Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3
I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.
Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm
Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside
Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door
Wang Meng: Language:(
Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please
Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am
Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?
Li Cu: yeah about your work
Li Cu: heard a little rumor
Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip
Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention
Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay
Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?
Li Cu: idk just like
Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE
Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.
Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here
Main Chat, 11:14am
Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.
Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START
Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?
Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am
Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT
Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.
Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT
WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT
Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out
Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG
Liu Sang: …hello.
Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.
Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?
Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker
Liu Sang: Excuse me??
Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.
Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.
Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU
Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge
Liu Sang: ???
Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.
Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??
Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”
YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT
Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.
Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.
Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”
if that is your real name
Like yeah you’re right abt it but still
just saying
heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers
kinda
so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot
Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.
Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW
Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.
Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”
oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol
Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)
Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.
Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.
Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am
Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.
Li Cu: I agree let’s start over
Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed
Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.
Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.
Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT
Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.
Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned
Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.
Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe
Liu Sang: ?
Li Cu: I yelled at dad
*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect
Liu Sang: …uh huh.
Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying
Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.
Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done
Snake venom and stabbings, no tears
Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears
Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad
Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.
Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird
Like weirder than usual
Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at
Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.
Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid
but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.
Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.
Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either
Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)
Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.
also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot
Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?
Li Cu: sounds sick.
Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel
Liu Sang: Not even surprised.
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dropoutparty · 3 years
Text
ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5
here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:
tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3
ok lets get on with the post
at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.
now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.
after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).
anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.
zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!
the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.
now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.
NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.
its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,
anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.
anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).
moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.
gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).
anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!
now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!
anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!
the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.
as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!
basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.
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lovleez · 3 years
Text
oner 《恶浪》 mv/film theory
(this is less of a theory and more of a debunking of the mv though)
warnings: mentions of violence, murder (i wont include gifs of the bloody moments but it will be discussed!!!), animal abuse, and a bomb or two ? (someone gets blown up ;-;)
honestly the debunking might get a lil bit dark around the ling chao and ziyang individual parts, so be warned of that!
it would be helpful for you to watch/listen to these to process whats going on here:
oner 《恶浪》 mv (cw blood, murder, animal abuse, & heavy violence - please dont watch if these are triggers for you!!!) (there’s also eng subs in this link ^^)
oner - AGENT  (this is a song, but there’s quite a bit of dialogue near the end that ties into this plot!)  (cw gunshot, beeping noises that resemble a bomb ?? - all at the end of the song w/ the dialogue)
okay lets dive into it d(^-^)> !!!
to get the important info out of the way!
the start of the mv shows the three of them chilling on the couch, as friends do, watching,,well themselves on the screen (oner’s past performances as idols) (and i do believe that the idols part of this has some significance that i can figure out). the important takeaway from the beginning rlly is that they’re three good friends...who are completely unaware of each other’s secret occupations
their occupations being: ziyang, a murderer, yueyue, a spy, and ling chao, a hacker
now to jump into the main story! (starting around 1:35)
yueyue and ziyang both have the same target: the man in the restaurant. however yueyue gets there first and does his job well, as he gets away without being caught. ziyang is frustrated that his target is taken already.
*interesting detail here, but when trying to enter, ziyang shows them a ring with a purple jewel in the middle for entry,,,coincidentally, the man yueyue kills in the bar in his personal segment in the film later also has the same ring? obv the ring is for the restaurant entry so maybe ziyang wasn’t going to kill this “boss” but maybe negotiate/discuss something with him instead...but also thats disproven by the fact that ziyang pulled out a gun to presumably shoot him before realizing the dude was dead....
but also,,,suspicious how there was a zoom in to the purple ring when yueyue kills the man in the bar..maybe it means more than we think it does? altho im not too sure what  to think abt it for now
     for reference:
     ziyang’s ring                                    
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     dead man in bar’s ring
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moving on 
okay so since yueyue is a spy n all, he has to confirm his kill somewhere right? this somewhere is a phone booth,,,one that ling chao has rigged up with a bomb,,,,
speculation: someone hired ling chao to kill someone who will be approaching the phone booth; at this time, lc doesn’t know that this someone is yueyue (and is v shocked to see him there through his cameras as evident by his “what the hell! are you kidding me?”)
....and after this part the film dives into their personal stories to give more background on who  these three are (i’ll expand on those after i finish explaining the present timeline ^^) before coming back to the main story 
so!
ling chao “accidentally” blew up yueyue oh no (he’s still alive tho yey)
& then yueyue holds up a piece of candy,,,and immediately knows its ling chao (cuz its the piece of candy lc was eating earlier in the film) 
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(and to take care of all loose ends that my brain is providing me with: in the beginning they didn’t know abt each other’s secret occupations...how does yueyue know that lc is capable of doing this? my answer: they used to be agent buddies!!! i’ll expand on this later hehe)
 .
and so
it was at this moment ling chao knew...he fucked up
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he’s afraid yueyue might come after him.
which, is exactly what yueyue does
after going home or somewhere, yueyue receives a text telling him to get rid of “them” (ling chao) bc his “identity is exposed” 
....so now yueyue has to go and hunt down his buddy ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
and they fight! looks very painful for ling chao,,,poor dude,,,
since ziyang comes out from the back door to join the fight, theres two possibilities that come from this:
1) ling chao knew yueyue was coming and knew he couldnt take him down himself (lets be honest; he looks rlly scrawny) so he called ziyang to his location for backup (how could he know ziyang can fight? agent buddies 👐) 
2) ziyang and ling chao live together in the same house
anyways, both results making it obvious that ling chao and ziyang are on the same team while yueyue is on another (lets ignore the fact that ling chao was getting up to fight ziyang as well)
the fight scene is so dramatic oml T-T
ziyang could also be motivated to beat up yueyue in this fight cuz the dude did  take his target before he himself could (loophole: how did ziyang know it was yueyue who took his target? answer: maybe yueyue left like a signature or smthn at the crime scene, or ziyang saw him walk out  ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ )
and when they all beat the living heck out of each other and are dramatically lying down in different areas of the room 
the tv turns on to a council saying “still want to be idols?”
(and remember, the thing they were watching on tv earlier was themselves performing,,,as idols. i cant connect it further than that so lemme know if yall figure smthn out ^-^)
so mayhaps this council is yueyue’s agency and they wanted to turn the trio against each other...? they would have set this whole situation up: they knew ziyang wanted to kill the restaurant “boss”, so they assigned yueyue to take care of him first, which creates conflict between those two. then, they hired ling chao to rig up a phone booth with a bomb; basically setting him up against yueyue
whether this council succeeds with their plan or not is unrevealed bc the film has a “to be continued” at the end, so the storyline still will have more to it!!!
although i would say the council succeeded since they all did beat each other bruised and bloody
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that leaves the question: why  is the council setting them up against each other?
what are there previous connections beyond them just being friends 👀 ?
and here i shall bring back the “agent buddies” bit i was talking abt earlier, as well as why i linked the agent song in the beginning
near the end of the mv, there’s quite a lot of dialogue between the three of them, and it goes like this:
[robotic voice: welcome agent oner
ling chao (?): check 
yueyue: yo what up guys!
ziyang: yo what up bro
ziyang (yueyue?): alright lets take them out
yueyue: okay gentlemen we got a lot to do
ziyang: ey we gotta finish this quick, i got a date tonight
yueyue: really?
ziyang: no hard feelings (couldnt catch the rest)
yueyue: okay shut up
ling chao: hey guys, i saw a hit
(?): copy that
yueyue (ziyang?): hold your breath....now
ling chao: guys watch out
yueyue: okay guys locked and loaded
*single shot can be heard, then the reloading of a gun*
yueyue (?): go go go!
yueyue: fire fire fire!
yueyue: ???? *indistinguishable orders*
ziyang?: i got trouble i got trouble
yueyue: ?? i got ?? lets go
ling chao: stay together
ziyang (yueyue??): okay set to kill
ling chao: damn the truck is (blown?)
yueyue: what the hell
ziyang: okay let me (???) it
*bomb beeping noises*
yueyue: ???? clean this blood on my shirt]
(not sure how accurate my hearing is but its enough to make some guesses 😅)
agent buddies! the three of them used to be agents, as the song is titled, at some agency...and they probably made a pretty strong team together
the agency story would explain why they all seem to be good fighters too!
thats why the council might have wanted to tear them apart. perhaps the council was doing something that they knew would displease the trio, so they needed them separated lest they team up and try to defeat them 
i also think this audio could have been describing a mission going wrong for them, possibly their last one as a team. someone was probably hurt (im betting on either ziyang or ling chao), and they quit the agency and aimed to live normal lives from then on
...but old habits are hard to forget, so ziyang starts to kill ppl in his free time, yueyue joined another agency as a spy, and ling chao uses his hacking skills for other purposes
however they all dont tell each other, which could add on to the tension of their fight at the end of the film
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now to dive into their individual bits of the film. these all don’t connect much to the main lore, just expands onto their lives with their secret occupations btw!
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YUEYUE
his segment details moments in his daily agent life; im guessing he’s not very happy with it judging by his nightmares? or the nightmares are bringing up his past at his old agency which he does not like
he’s also master of disguise woah
personally i think he’s losing “who he is”. he’s always playing the role of another person, always putting on another disguise...so he starts losing his sense of identity (if that makes sense ;-;) 
(and if you wanna stretch it and make things wholesome, maybe the only times he [feels like himself] is when he’s around his two friends)
so basically: he’s always filling out other personas to the point where he doesnt know who he is anymore
(this is also the segment where he kills a man in the bar with poison,,,and the man was wearing the same ring as ziyang,,,,which is like Hm. why’d the directors do that 🤔)
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ZIYANG
aka the murderer :D
(and not just regular serial killer type, more like joker-esque type where they’re a bit insane,,,)
okay his segment starts of with him dragging a man through a white room, where the floors is covered with plastic, and on the walls are a bunch of clay molds of human body parts
:D
my brain has concluded that! ziyang takes clay and makes molds of his victim’s faces/body parts of who he kills! to make statues! 
(i dont even know how i got there aksjdhdh but thats just what i assumed the first time i watched this film thingy)
and to make it more messed up than it already sounds,,,im guessing he’s a famous statue maker too, and holds shows where he presents his works to the public and maybe even bids them off ?
     ,,,,little did the audience know,,,,
          (this kinda remind me of sally and gabe’s statue from the pjo too now aksjhdkdh)
(i got this assumption from 6:50 in the film where he walks out in front of an audience who start clapping,,,and let my brain run wild with the rest,,,)
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of course, he probably kills off the people he was the molding the clay off of once he’s done with his works,,,or sometimes even in the middle of his works as shown in the mv (*-* )
but alas that is not all to his story,,,
judging by his flashbacks when he’s beating that one dude to death with a bat, he used to be bullied when he was in school, which seems to be the source of all his anger throughout the film..
    ( yeah he killed the bullies too (_ _ )> )
its part of his personality to be rough and short tempered - he doesn’t like people looking down on him (as the bullies did)
and,,,if you want to be wholesome again! perhaps he found some bits of happiness and peace when hanging out with the others :]
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LING CHAO
cw: animals abuse!!! 
his is pretty simple and is already explained in the mv itself! i’ll walk ya’ll through it though in case you didn’t watch the film tho akdjdjkf
basically: he’s just a dude who loves dogs :]
a lot
in his segment, a girl (handong, looking absolutely stunning ToT) approaches him wanting to take home another stray, and when he asks her where how the previous dog she adopted was doing, she says that “my bestie loved him a lot, so i gave him to her” ( -_- )
so...he lets her keep the dog, but also decides to keep an eye on her...to the point where she becomes very paranoid that someone is stalking her (which..she isnt wrong in)(but she doesn’t believe it to be ling chao because they’re..dating? i think? and he lulls her into a false sense of security that he’ll protect her from harm)
and then bam! one day he breaks into her house, steals the dog away, and then,,,,blows her up,,,,,
(i must say as disturbing this scene is,,,,i absolutely adore ling chao’s look here askjdjfd)
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(i mean?? look at him?? loving the black lipstick ugh)
(v pale tho ;-;)
okay anyways the next flashbacks reveal that handong was abusing her dogs & starving them, and him being the animal lover he is, decides to kill her for it ig
(also she,,,stabbed the other dog that she “gave to her bestie” so-)
yeahh thats the end of his story; nothing much to take from it except that his hacker skills are still intact past agent days 
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annnd thats a wrap folks! nothing else to expand on; i’ll definitely make another part to expand on this if they decide to release another mini film in the future tho :]
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seoafin · 3 years
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FIRSTLY IM SORRY FOR SPAMMING IN UR BOX AGAIN IN LESS THAN A MONTH BUT JJK BRAIN ROT HOURS AGAIN &;"&/@/@2 - 🐱
so, jjk 132 got me thinking that akutami was vaguely talking abt dukkha (1 of Tilakkhana/ 3 marks of existence) when yuuji said that in the grand scheme of things, he’s nothing more than a cog. no single english word can cover the full meaning of the word dukkha. some translators try to use the words suffering, unsatisfactoriness, stress, etc. each of these words sometimes fits in a particular context, but sometimes it doesn't fit in a different context. in general it’s translated as (1)
suffering, but it’s not quite accurate bcs the word dukkha covers a much broader range than just the word ‘suffering’. what does the word dukkha actually mean? based on the origin of the word, in The Bhagavad Gita, Winthrop Sargeant discusses the origin of the words sukha and duhkha: the ancient Aryan tribes, who brought sanskrit to India, were nomadic peoples, bred horses and cattle, traveling in chariots drawn by horses or oxen. ‘su' & 'dus'= prefixes denoting good & bad. the word ‘kha’ in (2)
later sanskrit developments, is defined as 'sky', 'ether/air /which fills space', or 'space'. but in fact originally "kha" meant "hole", specifically the axle of the artan chariot. so, sukha, used to mean, "have a good axle", & duhkha means "have a bad axle" which of course brings discomfort to driving. in classic sanskrit, the word duhkha is often compared to a clay pot maker where the wheels are creaky and do not turn smoothly. of course, the pot results are uneven & ugly. the opposite of (3)
so actually, dukkha isn’t always properly translated as 'suffering'. dukkha encompasses a broader scope & isn’t just suffering, that’s too narrow in scope. does the clay pot maker "suffer" if the appliance is noisy & the output is uneven? ofc not;  just unsatisfactory, imperfect, not ideal, annoyed, disliked, maybe annoyed at having to repeat, but i don't think suffering is like the common sense of suffering. do you like to ride a train w/a slightly damaged wheel? ofc u don’t like it, right? (5)
grief, right? from the start, i was a little disturbed, so i could explode when i had to take the train for up to 12 hours. the word 'suffering' suggests negative emotions, which in turn gives the impression that buddhism is pessimistic (especially for non-buddhists/ beginners). in fact the buddha's teachings are neither pessimistic nor optimistic, but realistic. some english translators have partly kept the word 'dukkha' & have not translated it to avoid narrowing the meaning of the word (6)
dukkha itself. in the buddha's first discourse, he said, “O bhikkha, this is the noble truth about Dukkha: birth is dukkha, growing old is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, sorrow, disappointment is dukkha; to gather with the displeased is dukkha; to part with the pleasurable is dukkha; not getting what one wants is dukkha. In short, Panca Khanda is dukkha." BUT, he never said this life is dukkha, nor did he conclude that life is dukkha. there are still a lot of ppl who (7)
rush to the wrong conclusion by saying that life is dukkha. this is as reckless as claiming that all who have two legs are human, based on the fact that humans have two legs. understanding that there’s dukkha, we can then go to the next step, which is to understand the causes of suffering, then know that it can be eliminated, & then apply the method of getting rid of that suffering; namely the eightfold path: right view, right resolve, right speech, right conduct, right livelihood, right (8)
effort, right mindfulness, & right concentration but dukkha is only the first step, ppl have to the next steps & eliminate that suffering. (it’s the 1st step of 4 noble truths, the 3 others are the cause of dukkha, the solution to end dukkha, and the path to end dukkha respectively) it’s like humans who first have to know & admit that there’s a law of gravity b4 they think abt & finally find a way to create an airplane against gravity, even creating space w/ out gravity. i’d like to mention (9)
that there’s 3 divisions in buddhism (theravada, mahayana & vajrayana(tantric/ estoric)) & the mahayana is somewhat mainstream in the east asian countries including japan so akutami might use that division for jjk. but it’s mainly theravada and mahayana all over the world & the difference between the 2 is that in theravada (it’s considered as the oldest & more conservative of the teaching of gautama) the highest goal a buddhist should achieve is becoming an arhats (in theravada defined as (10)
one who has reached a state of nirvana thru extreme self-discipline & abstention from worldly pleasure. depending on the school/ division of buddhism & the evolution of the term over the centuries, arhats may be considered as similar to buddhas, or enlightened ones. some traditions, like mahayana buddhism, consider arhats imperfect when compared to buddhas. in contrast, the pali tipitaka text describes arhat as the goal of the buddha's path to liberation.) & getting free from samsara (cycle (11)
of life n death) while mahayana (somewhat less strict than theravada) buddhists believe that they can achieve bodhisattva (refers to any individual who has attained bodhicitta [or the will to live a life centered on serving others & assisting them in reaching enlightment) by staying in the samsara cycle, which is kind of similar w/ gojo’s enlightment but staying as a teacher to help his students even tho he has his own goal. just like dukkha, shamans are part of the cogs/ wheels/ gears of (12)
life (or train as a parable i stated earlier) all the bumps, sticks & setbacks we have things just never go completely well. & since dukkha is the 1st step of 4 noble truths. this has an origin & that there's also the possibility of its cessation. the wheel can be made to turn smoothly so we no longer have those "bumps",or at least no longer experience them as such. the cause of dukkha (suffering) is ignorance & desire (craving/greed of pleasure, material goods, immortality basically things (13)
that can never be satisfied), by the acquisition of right views on the true nature of things (anicca, dukkha, anatta) & by the full understanding & practice of the eightfold path is the way to end dukkha & reach nirvana which is cessation. cessation of what? the cessation of 'becoming' & becoming includes "everything" as we usually understands it. by the cause of dukkha it's obvious atp that it's those higher ups, but everything is impermanent (anicca). to make the the ride go smoothly, the (14)
wheels have to turn smoothly. both gojo & geto's ideal world would eventually come true but maybe it's when they, themselves & all the main casts are replaced by other set of cogs bound to turn & won't be around to witness the train arriving to the last station. or maybe the only idealistic world that have the most possibility to come true is gojo's one (resetting the shaman world). was geto aware that it was actually a wild goose chase all along? might be. but w/ akutami's subtlety of (15)
inserting the 3 marks of existence theme in jjk, this might lead to a shaman civil war tied in revolution to end the cause of dukkha & lead them to (a figurative) nirvana (the dukkha itself might also include everyone's skeletons in the closet) bc from the very start i never get the end game boss vibe from sukuna/ mahito's obvious role as an antagonist & brainy might be based on mara from the buddhism lore. but there 4 types of mara, a) kleśa-māra - māra as the embodiment of all unskillful (16)
in the course of his meditations, the buddha was tempted by the demon mara. mara sent his armies, various temptations, & finally a challenge that the buddha must defend his claim of enlightenment. the buddha touched the earth, & called the earth to witness his achievement. this “touching the earth” is seen as a significant gesture (mudra). mara can also be understood not only as a figure in a story, but also as a representation of inner temptations—mainly one’s ego—that obstruct the path to (18)
enlightenment. therefore, overcoming mara is equivalent to overcoming the self (like the tokyo kids’ hunger to gain more power individually, unlike kyoto who work together). GAHHHH THIS TURN OUT LONGER THAN I PLANNED. but honestly i dont have enough concrete material to just “yea brainy is def mara” bc he hasnt reveal his grand plan yet, but there’s one more important figure in buddhist lore where he commited ānantarika-kamma (5 unpardonable acts) which brings immediate disaster : shedding (19)
the blood of a buddha (he drop a huge boulder, but missed & a splinter of it hurt buddha’s pinky toe, he also get an elephant drunk to charge at buddha but the latter tame it), creating a schism (heresy) within the sangha, the community of buddhist monks, nuns & pariṣā who try to attain enlightenment (devadatta set up his own buddhist monastic order by splitting the sangha. during his efforts to become the leader of his own sangha, he proposed 5 extra-strict rules for monks, which he knew (20)
buddha wouldn’t allow. devadatta's reasoning was that after he had proposed those rules & buddha hadn’t allowed them, devadatta could claim that he did follow & practice these 5 rules, making him a better & purer monk.), matricide n patricide (he didnt commit it but he convinced prince ajatasattu to murder his father king bimbisara & ascend the throne. ajatasattu follows the advice in a way that’s still a bad karma so..) by the end of his attempts, the ground open up, swallowed him & he got (21)
dropped to avici hell (lowest level of hell). brainy probs want to reformed the world?? mara on the other hand repented & took refuge in the 3 jewels (buddha, dharma (the teachings), sangha (the monastic orders of buddhists)) bonus : yuuji’s talk of killing mahito no matter how he change (form, name, etc) is probs based on samsara (end) || ALSO ABT THAT YUJI AINU THEORY, I FOUND STH INTERESTING THAT MAY LINK HIM & SUKUNA TOGETHER BUT LEMME JUST GATHER MY THOUGHTS FIRST || - 🐱
i literally don’t have anything to add but THANK YOU FOR DEFINING dukkha BC I HAVE BEEN SEEING THAT WORD FLOATING AROUND TWITTER.
everything you mentioned from yuji’s entire cog dialogue, to gojo and geto’s “perfect world” ALSO how you mentioned geto’s exercise in futility considering that he knew his world was possible, if it was gojo. not him. ahdsfdsjnfsnjfnjk
ALSO A SHAMAN CIVIL WAR??? that would literally be an amazing arc to read omg. idk if akutami is going to go there but you’ve planted the seed in my mind!!! i wonder who would be on which side if it did come to that though
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chvmberlain · 4 years
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whaddup it’s ur fave admin emily ( i’m legally required to be ur fave it’s part of being in the rp ) & here comes ur fave sinnamon roll... MONTY CHAMBERLAIN ! i’m shocked he’s still around on account of being the most annoying ever.
BACKGROUND ! tw for death & car accident.
little mr richie rich, first born son of triplets ( yes, triplets ) & was always regarded as the golden boy heir to his parents’ socialite ways & his dad’s many investments
carina & quincy, his fellow triplets, were his absolute bffs and the three of them did everything together
his parents were always a little distant, busy with, like, rich people parties and stuff. they only doted on the triplets when they were brought out to be shown off to their friends and then sent them right back w the nannies :/
monty was diagnosed with dyslexia pretty young, which is like... not a big deal at all, but his parents viewed him as Defective and Bad for it. instead of actually being there for their son, they just threw money at specialists to deal with The Problem & called it a day
here’s where carina & quincy come in ! the triplets were determined to be there for monty when their parents weren’t, and they did a pretty good job of it. eventually, they all went to monty’s specialist as a group, and learned exercises and activities to help him. 
when he ended up also being diagnosed w dyscalculia, the kids adapted like it was no big deal. meanwhile, monty’s dad didn’t even bother to show up to the meeting 
as they grew up, the triplets started making more of a splash at their parents’ parties, vibrant and beautiful whenever they made an appearance. they caught attention and held it, and when monty’s dad noticed this, he decided to take advantage of it
he asked monty to distract a fellow businessman for him, telling him to keep the man occupied as he talked to the chairman of his company’s board. monty, at that point still in the phase of his life where he wanted his father’s approval, eagerly agreed. he managed to hold the man’s attention long enough for his father to buy out his company from underneath him — and so began his career, long before bishop ever entered the picture
he only got better at it as his father pulled him into his schemes again and again, a charming young man capable of talking circles around anyone who’d listen ( and when monty smiled and opened his mouth, everyone would listen. he was magnetic )
the triplets remained joined at the hip over the years, all the way up until college, when they separated for the first time — carina went to harvard, quincy to princeton, and monty to yale. it was rough to adapt at first, but they called each other often to keep in touch
freshman year came & went, and the triplets were shipped off to their summer home in spain for their birthday at the end of july. each of them received a brand new car for their 19th, and monty won the game of rock paper scissors to determine that he was the first to take his new ride for a spin
on the drive, it started to rain, he took a turn too fast on the side of a hill — by the time he woke up from the crash, there was nothing monty and carina could do, pinned in place by the wreck. quincy died a couple hours later right in front of them, and it devastated monty & carina
though carina went back to school at the end of the summer, monty took a semester off, barely able to get out of bed, much less go to class. a semester turned into a year, and after a year... he stopped answering yale’s calls, letting his education fall by the wayside
he dove back into the game he’d always played on his father’s behalf, showing little remorse for what he was doing. he drifted farther away from carina, which is :/
until he got RECRUITED !
for the first time in a long time, monty feels like he has a purpose beyond fucking people over when his dad points and clicks. though he has yet to repair his relationship with carina, he feels like he’s found a sense of family again, and he’s really soft abt it okay
he’s Loud, talks a lot, thinks he’s hot shit, but also... is pretty charismatic ngl. a wiz with words, if u will. has a string of lovers and makes lots of friends who never seem to really get to know him bc he’s chasing that sense of #connection
angsty sad boy who doesn’t really know who he is :/ can’t have it all ig
it’s important to me that u know he currently owns an expensive pink house in new orleans. yes. pink. he regularly hosts pool parties there for the group, so do with that what u will. striker calls it the barbie dream house and that is absolutely 100% accurate
HEIST SKILLS !
DECEPTION & MANIPULATION: can lie like his life depends on it. he’s spent, like, a decade crafting elaborate lies to manipulate people into doing what he / his dad wants, so he’s pretty damn good at it
can also craft elaborate false identities for himself, including speaking other languages w flawless accents if the situation calls for it ( he grew up speaking english / spanish / french bc of his parents but also has others in his repertoire )
DISTRACTION: extension of above tbh but he’s fantastic w/distracting guards, employees, random passersby, etc bc he can make so much shit up on the spot. he’s also generally just persuasive and charming so people tend to listen to him when he opens his mouth
could probably also make a molotov cocktail if the situation called for it. distraction at all costs am i right
SEDUCTION: i mean.................................... it happens
MEMORY: homie regularly memorized guest lists for his parents’ parties & basically never forgets a name or face. don’t ask him to memorize the capitals of the 50 states or anything, but if it’s regarding people... he’s got that shit on lockdown
that’s all for now love u all xoxo
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coxinyoface · 6 years
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i usually don’t do this but it’s 4am, i’m cramping/anemic/generally in pain and out of it, i’m procrastinating, and it’s been like. probably 2 years since the last time i did one of these? so why not since i have new followers after my acpc obsession! (the reason why not is... i write too much, sorry. a couple others have tagged me recently with similar questions and i stopped myself but hey i’ll let it go this time and try to be social)
i’m not sure who else to tag. i see the top three ppl i recognize often in my notifications lately are @lonelylittlewarlock @betumbledpolaritis @lavender-aquarius so how ‘bout you guys? feel free to ignore if you’re not up for it tho
anyway:
Get to know me tag! got tagged by @sundaycrossing and @lilcasshole
Nickname: on this account most people just call me CIYF and that’s fine. i haven’t had a proper nickname in a long time and i try to keep this acc separate because. coxinyoface is not the best name to reference offline or with work/art stuff lmao. 
Gender: nonbinary. they/them preferred.
Starsign: taurus.
Height: 5′3″/1.6m-ish? i’m short and fat and friendshaped i like to think.
Hogwarts house: ravenclaw or hufflepuff. when i was little i’d insist ravenclaw bc i’m a nerd who tried to persuade themselves they like school, but i’m likely hufflepuff bc i try too hard n am painfully stupidly loyal. idk. hp house discourse frustrates me.
Favorite animal: this changes frequently bc birds but today... potoo. potoos are often my favorite bc they could be my fuckin fursona and i relate deeply.
Favorite color: grey. stormy grey i think.
Current favorite song: зын зын by jokeasses. i found this through a random video of someone dancing in nosferatu drag to it months ago (thanks internet) and it’s still stuck. i keep switching between looping this, boogie by brockhampton, or yellow ferrari by mystery skulls. i can loop the same song for 10+ hours at a time. i do this bc i can have up to 5 songs stuck in my head at the same time and this somewhat cures that. it’s bad.
Ways to get creative: well. listening to music until my brain melts is one way. it’s easy to get creative but difficult to be productive, so i’d say just. trying to really really enjoy an activity, whether it’s reading, watching, or playing something, and trying to hold onto that feeling when i work on something. and then 4am binges of researching random shit that i can use to inspire myself later.
What do you do when you’re home alone: i’m either on tumblr, watching youtube, reading fanfic, or working on work art or art prints. acpc became a thing bc of lack of sleep and bird cult aesthetic n distraction. i’m currently stuck in a fic cycle of interest, it switches a lot. current fandom is HP (again) but i’ve gone into fic hell for naruto, opm, mcu, fucking anything that makes me hate myself. but then, i’ve also been reading a lot of bnha and some of that shit is actually so healthy and wholesome i cried. i want to get back into anime.
Average hours of sleep: hooo boy. it used to be 2 hours, consecutively, with maybe 4 total a day, while in college. i’m trying to fix that and i think i’m getting 3 hours consecutively and 5-6 total? i was doing great at some point last year and was somehow getting 5 consecutive hours up to 8 but. well. sleep’s a bitch and i have sleep paralysis and insomnia. today i managed to sleep maybe 5 consecutive and 15 total holy shit because i dreamed i had a heart attack and was dying and believed it (bc sleep paralysis)! in reality it was anemia fuckin me up today thanks google  
Cats or dogs?: cats. sorry dogs, i love you but you have too much energy. besides i feel like cat people are dogs and dog people are cats, and i’ve worked very hard to earn my cats love so i’m loyal now lmao
Numbers of blankets you sleep with: i’m going to say pillows instead, because i live in a warm area and blankets are the mortal enemy. so--four. one to make sure i don’t smash into the wall, one for my head that i will never use as i slowly rotate like a flailing turtle on its back, one for my legs to make sure i don’t kick, and one to hug so i don’t punch.
Dream job: honestly my standards are so damn low i’d probably do any digital illustration/graphic design art job that (1)pays decently for my area where (2)the clients weren’t from hell and (3)i could work from home. like. i used to have specifics like ~concept art~ and shit but i had a good couple of work months (before some very bad ones) where one really good nonprofit client made me realize i genuinely don’t give a fuck what i do so long as it genuinely helps someone/somepeople and also helps me exist.
Dream trip: i. don’t actually want to travel much. tbh, i did japan, korea, and the philippines in one week somehow, and it killed my interest in traveling due to over-planning. if i could go back in time and do it again, maybe i’d spend more time chilling in japan? i just want lipton milk tea in those lil cartons. why can’t they make those here. and omurice. and katsu. and... ok i’d travel to japan again just for food fuck it.
Sexuality: It’s Complicated but for simplification, grey ace. i say aro-ace but go back and forth using that label because it’s useful but i can’t tell if i’m aro or just too anxious to function bc i feel like i’m somehow tricking people if they like me, and have no idea what i find attractive in the weird range of people i’ve been attracted to or to what degree i am attracted. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh, QPRs seem way more appealing to me because i’m just that kinda grey gay. none of this matters unless i maintain a healthier lifestyle that isn’t a hot mess or somehow get the fuck over myself tho. idk one day i’ll be more socially active again.
When did you make this account?: shit, like... 6 years ago i think? oof. a lot changes over six years. if i wasn’t lazy i’d make a new shitpost account so i could pretend to forget what an ass i was but i can’t even separate most of my interests by blog.
Number of followers: 3,050, around. it hovers back and forth due to i assume bots and ppl getting very confused. those of u here for youtubes, thanks for sticking around all these years and i’m sorry; those of u here for acpc, i’m sorry and hope you enjoy me being really mad abt acpc. i have no idea how accurate follower count really is, though; apparently my highest activity was back in 2015 and i had less than 2k then i think? fuck if i understand tumblr
anyway if you’ve somehow read through all of that thanks for listening to the ramblings of a madman hopped up on pain at 6am you’re a champ and this random online stranger loves you and wishes you a good day
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squid-inspiration · 6 years
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Ooh, question 15 please, for "Thomas Hamilton: A Life" and/or "The Art of Asymmetry". I'm thinking in particular of things you learned in terms of writing, since they both seem like they must have been (still is, for THAL) challenging projects, but of course I'd definitely be interested in other things, too!
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?
The Art of Asymmetry
I think it’s the point at which I found my “Black Sails voice”. Fascination & Imitation work well enough imo, and they have passages and phrases that I love a lot, but I feel like this is where I started rly consciously having a “flavour” for each narrative. There’s word choices and rhythms I gravitate to or avoid for each project, and most of it is gut feeling, but I always have something v v specific in mind that I shape the language around. I’d seen other fics do rly nicely w pseudo-period-accurate English (bc none of us write as they’d actually speak/write in an early 18th century narrative, and neither does Black Sails in canon) and was afraid I’d never manage to sound so pleasant and sophisticated, and it turned out people rly enjoyed the style I ended with, so that was reassuring. Haven’t written anything that elegant since, I think, maybe barring whalebone, rigged to stem the floods. (But that one is sparkling & dripping & in flux, whereas Asymmetry is black lace and seed pearls and creamy paper and burgundy chiffon & velvet.)
Also some ruthless editing, bc it was going to be multi-POV and it became more powerful once it was only Miranda’s. Sadly cost me one specific paragraph I’m still not quite over, bc that was the only bit I couldn’t tell from Miranda’s POV; from the scene when Thomas walks in on Miranda drawing James, which was originally written from James’ perspective, and Miranda can’t quite see into his head. So I’m still mourning a metaphor or two that rly captures what, to me, is an integral part of the modeling state of mind, that meditative focus you fall into.
Oh and I worked through a lot of my issues w most artist/model AUs. I’m a life-drawing model myself, and I just can’t read 99% of those fics anymore, bc there’s a lot of little things that just irk me. (I’m sure I’ve written stuff that irks others too! Everyone has That Thing They Care V Much About. This happens to be mine.)
Thomas Hamilton: A Life.
So many things??? 
A vital one was to stop giving a fuck what others want from a fic and just focus on what I want. Sometimes feel insecure bc I think a lot of ppl prob aren’t attracted to OC ships, but I’m v decisive in the story I want to tell, and that story needs contrast. If I don’t show Thomas’ early relationships and what they taught him and what they offered/lacked, the life-changing impact of Miranda&James entering his life is less visceral. It could still work ofc, but I v deliberately set each of Thomas’ boyfriends up to represent aspects of his relationship w love, sex, shame, and identity, and they all tie thematically into James and Miranda and the rest of his life. It’s not the most popular fic out there in terms of clicks/kudos, but it’s exactly (well, as close as I can manage) the story I want to tell, and that’s a good feeling. I’m not compromising and I’m enjoying every second. (I still get insecure abt needing validation lol. But the story itself is not shaped by what I think others would rather read.)
Definitely the most ambitious & complex fic I’ve done. Generally my fics are p straight-forward in terms of plot, and this one is not super-plotty, but I greatly enjoy constructing thematic set-ups & pay-offs, it’s so rewarding. There’s even a little twist later on??? And I’m curious to see if anyone will pick up on the set-up lol. Nothing life-changing, but I’m having fun.
I’m also pushing harder and canning stuff more ruthlessly than I ever have for a fic. I think I’ve scrapped ~15k so far? Bc I finished the fic months ago, took a breather and realised that the last 20k just aren’t thematically cohesive with the characterisation of Thomas I’ve set up. And I’m still working on that, I’m still continuously tossing out stuff bc I feel like, “this fic is about sticking fingers in wounds & picking at scabs, this feels too comfortable” and comfortable is what it shouldn’t be. (So it should be no surprise I’m essentially rewriting the last 20k for the third time or so, and adding more chapters and just. This fic just won’t let me fucking rest.)
Ask me about my fics!
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theangry-ace · 7 years
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I care more about the girl in R18 drama cd; another short reviews
God I’ve gone through so many titles and it’s hard to find a series with a good balance of good story, good boys and good ecchi, but unfortunately most are not.
It's not that there's a lack of good ones though. there are quite a lot of them actually. but just that the MCs in most titles are just too... unnaturally passive ALL THE TIME! would it not sell if they made MC more strong-willed and actually would stand her ground and not let herself being pushed around and bullied? I want a title where the MC actually kick some ass. literally or metaphorically, I don't mind, just give me an ass kicking scene!!!! give me a girl who will not put up with the bullshit!
anyhow, here’s the third batch of my reviews. the first and second are here if you’re insterested. I spoil a lot so read with caution.
I found most of these from Airavalky.
Love tranquilizer story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 this is bias bc this was my first R18 drama cd. made me notice of sawa manaka. also where I realized finger sucking is my thing lol. I believe this series is still ongoing and has a one or two more other characters but these are all that I’ve gone through. the concept is 'tranquilizing' relationship. each one of them started as casual relationship with no commitment, but later progressed to be something much more. Takemiya Yuki = osanajimi character. he sounds like a insensitive jerk but he actually cared too much about the girl. his story is that he gained a lot of attention in high school due to his basketball and girl decided to keep a distance from him to avoid jealous fans. dude didn’t like it at all but he played along until he just kinda begged her to chose him over trying to pretend they don't have anything to do with one another. second season he had to move away bc of uni and their issue there is adapting with long distance relationship for the first time, and they're struggling to make it work. Houbai Kazuhide = a more matured character from work. he is the one with the finger sucking thing hehehe. they started very neutral relationship but after a drunken one night stand, they thought they'd be sexfriends to "relieve one another's stress". after a while dude gets an omiai and wanted to end the relationship, only later to realize his feelings for the girl is real. second volume for his story is quite realistic couple's problems I enjoyed it so fucking much 10/10 will go back to this just for the drama. Matsuzawa Tasuku (Sawa Manaka) = this was my actual first R18 drama cd so it left quite an impression on me haha. I thought I’d prefer 'manly' voice but actually I like this youthful/playful voice much better. guy is kinda an up and coming celebrity and the girl is his manager. I think at first they're just sexfriends but one time had sex with no condom and thought if girl got pregnant she would have to quit her job and he don't want that so he decided they should be a real couple instead... I think. he speaks too fast for me to understand completely. I’ll get back to this once my Japanese is a bit better.
Madoromi no alice story: 1/5 icha icha: 5/5 don't be fooled by the pretty cover art. not much story in this except a girl sex dream with many versions of her boyfriend, with alice in wonderland as theme. the tokutens are quite intense with the sex though. if you don't know sumeragi mikado, this would be a good place to start... or bad place to start if too much ecchi is not your thing. I’d suggest Kindan Jouji, the host volume instead.
Mikkare story: 4/5 icha icha: 4/5 quite good and sweet story, though the sex takes place in very inconvenient of all places. like, in the fucking elevator????? in a storeroom???? ...but I think I need more from this series. why is there no more of this series? pls tell me there's actually more from this series.
My butler story: 3/5 icha icha: uhhhhh / 5 review: it started out good but kinda made me cringe halfway, especially Cider's. it's kinda creepy like I know the MC is supposed to be a projection of you but the 'grooming'/teaching scene is too... pedophilic-ish to me I couldn't bring myself to listen to the end.
Otona no marchen story: 2/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: interesting concept of the fairy tale but not too complex; just taking the fairytale and put the sex in them. a bit too simple but good nonetheless. I like the peter pan one bc of the lol. the cinderella one is what you called a yandere? i feel so bad for the girl i wish there was another tokuten where she actually escaped from the prince or prince gets less of a possessive asshole.
Otona kareshi story; 4/5 icha icha; intense AF /5 review; sumeragi mikado doing yandere/controlling bf is very scary sometimes but he did it very convincingly. the White side is on the ~gentler~ side compared to the Black. sex scene has variety, uhh, acts? like there's paizuri and mentions of urinating and it's not something i found that in many titles  mentioning those yet so... that's something!
Otona tomodachi story; 4/5 (blue side only) icha icha; 4/5 (blue side only) review: this series has two ways how the guy would react, but both started out pretty much the same; they're sexfriends. Blue side, Chasuke's character will try to convince the girl not to go through the omiai and they would be a proper lovers instead. the Black side takes a darker turn I think (yandere route?) but since I don't want to ruin my image of chasuke, so I'm gonna put off from listening to them until my kokoro is ready. not anytime soon at least.
Relacion dulce story; 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review; this is a very good series that focused on alcohol and icha icha that don't go problematic so this is stress free. vol.1 = this one has a ashikoki scene and the guy makes a very cute do-M chara. vol.2 = younger guy type. he just turned 20 (legal to drink) and they enjoyed a night drinking and sexing. vol.3 (yotsuya cider) = dude is a vet (I think) and when drunk he got loud and bitch about owls lol this one is unique since they talk about getting married and having babies. I don't think I've come across any that seriously talked about this yet so it left a big impression on me. (the only other series that talked abt the same thing is Karepilo's 10th volume (with Hirai tatsuya) where he said he want two kids and want to be the cool dad who can participate in school's sport event ugh that is the cutest god damn thing I ever heard fuck u hirai pls do more.)
Reversible story; 3 /5 icha icha: 5 / 5 review: the idea is its giving you two choices to how the ecchi scene goes; either the guy takes the lead or the girl. my fav is one with domon atsushi bc his oresama character is a real selfish asshole so having the side where his girl handcuffed him to the bed and decided to leave him is very amusing I clapped for the girl lol 10/10 would repeat many times over just to laugh at him hahaha. the iyashi(healing) bf side is very accurately titled.
Rouge et noir story; 5/5 icha icha: drugged and intense /5 review: story's really fucking good and suspenseful. icha icha is intense, understandably it was supposed to be induced by drug. I've only heard of two volumes (kawamura masato & sawa manaka as CV) but there’s also a third and fourth I think. basically girl is a rookie cop and she's one of them to take down a dangerous drug ring. why a rookie for this type of mission, though? I think the whole series focused on one girl but the stories they don't cross with one another. ugh I really really want to buy the whole seriessssss this is the exact amount of thrilling drama and icha icha that I wanttttt
Shinsoku ren'ai story: rape / 5 icha icha; rape / 5 review: rape. the kind where the sex will eventually ~magically~ made the girl fall in love with the rapist and somehow that's okay?? even for a porn??? case 1 (sawa manaka) = he started out fine but he grew increasingly possessive and jealous. he relocate girl's office to next to him, made her move in with him, all without the girl's say. he confined her in his home too. I think this is the least offensive of the three volumes since it ended with the dude stopped doing all that shit to her. well, kinda. case 2 - oh god this is too much rape I get nightmares. girl is the private tutor to the student guy. guy confessed one day but she refused. what comes next is traumatizing so only proceed if you know what to expect. case 3 (sumeragi mikado) - guy is the younger brother to the girl but he forced her to have sex with him, or he would go to her friends instead? I... I can't do this kind of shit. esp when girl eventually just accepts his 'love' in the end. why is this the theme for sexually abused victims??? can't just one of them gets their justice??? pleaseee
Shitsuji no prince-sama story: 3/5 icha icha: 4/5 review: I think it's pretty decent bc I really do like characters using keigo, but this is not very, uhh, satisfying? since they're kinda short. are they from a visual novel or something? not that they're not good; they’re great and I love the CVs here. the butlers will mention they have something to do with another career but my Japanese can't catch exactly why they had to be butlers as well. all I can get is that the girl had to stay in the mansion for two months for some reason.
Souai-sei no eshisu story; 3/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: look, I do not, for the life of me, will ever understand that someone would risk having their loved ones doubt, made them cry, argue or misunderstand that leads to a complete break of their cherished relationship, for the sake of keeping a secret of a fucking BIRTHDAY SURPRISE! JUST TELL THEM YOU ARE PLANNING A SURPRISE DON'T LEAVE THEM ALONE FEEDING THE DEMON WITH THEIR TRUST ON YOU! DO YOU WANT TO BREAK UP OVER A FUCKING BIRTHDAY SURPRISE?! anyway. this is sawa manaka though. not his best works IMO but this might just be me.
Suki ni natte wa ikenai kare story: 3/5 icha icha; 3/5 review; the theme is cheating. guy already has a gf and girl a bf. there's two ways their story would end, 'good ending' as in they break off with their then partners and date one another instead, or 'bad end' as in they sexed for the last time and swear to never see each other again. for this kind of theme I don't mind much, but not something I prefer. I may be aro but I know how much it hurts when ppl decided they would rather lie to you rather than come upfront and being honest.
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