#laura bailey killing me yet again

[ellie-andthemachine]

The Rookie: Echoes of the Past - Chapter Three

Synopsis: From oldest rookie to T.O., John Nolan takes on training the newest rookie, Officer Ellie Moore. In her first 6 months on the force, an unresolved case catches up to her, putting her survival to the ultimate test. A tale of mentorship, resilience, and facing one's demons head-on.

Read Chapter One & Chapter Two! Check out the Spotify Playlist - The Rookie: Echoes of the Past.

         “I want answers and I want them now.”

Ellie's gaze remained fixed on the passing scenery beyond the passenger window, her demeanor revealing no sign that she had registered Nolan's words.

"Officer Moore," John began, his voice cutting through the uneasy silence.

"I heard you the first time," she responded, her tone hushed but firm. "I'm in shock, not comatose."

"May I remind you of the gravity of what just unfolded in front of our fellow officers, including Bailey and myself."

"Yes, and I'll provide you with the answers you're seeking. Just... give me a moment," Ellie's voice quavered, her struggle to contain her emotions evident.

Nolan picked up on the tremor in her voice, his mind recalling Bailey's earlier caution. "I'm sorry. Take all the time you need."

A heavy sigh escaped Ellie's lips. "I've spent so many years burying this. How much have you looked into my personnel file?"

"It seems not nearly deep enough."

"Those children—Laura and Patrick's kids—they will never experience a normal life again. Destined to be placed with another family member, probably an aunt. Laura, if she avoids arrest, will secure her settlement. What she sees as her blood money," Ellie paused, struggling to rein in her anger. "And my younger brother and I? We were those children."

She turned to face Nolan, tears tracing a path down her cheeks. "At the age of thirteen, I witnessed my father's suicide. My parents' marriage was a constant battleground, marred by infidelity on my father's part. My stepmother harbored a deep resentment toward him, a desire for his demise without incurring the consequences of a murder charge. She believed that regardless of how he died, she'd receive the life insurance payout. It turned out that no one had clarified to her that suicide nullifies such claims," a tearful, ironic chuckle escaped her.

"I'm so sorry," Nolan murmured, his voice subdued, his own shock palpable.

"My stepmother harbored an intense hatred for us. I did my best to shield my brother from the worst of it – endured the beatings, absorbed the verbal onslaught. I arranged for my brother to live with our father's sister, all in the hope that he might escape that toxic environment. And yet, despite my efforts, he spiraled into a life of drug dealing and addiction. He's currently incarcerated in an Ohio prison, convicted of possession and murder."

"Ellie, you cannot bear the weight of his choices. You understand this, don't you?"

"Do I, though? Could I have altered the course he took by continuing to shield him? I stayed behind, and look where I am now. I sent him away, and it feels like I've shattered his life," Ellie wiped her tear-streaked face. "I have to accept that."

"No, you don't. It never was and never will be your responsibility," John's voice was resolute. "Where is your stepmother these days?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe still in Ohio? Hopefully rotting in hell. I left when I graduated."

A brief silence enveloped them.

"I ended up being the confidential informant in my brother's case," Ellie revealed, her words weighed down by a mix of emotions. "I, uh, was approached by a narcotics team back in Ohio. They connected me to my brother and sought my assistance in taking him down. It wasn't a path I wanted to tread, but considering the decision I'd made to become a police officer, well, I felt compelled. So, I met up with my brother. To my astonishment, he had become a leader of a gang. They were involved in drug trafficking and even carried out contract killings.”

"Let me take a guess – things didn't exactly unfold as planned?"

"You've got it. I was wired up, and everything seemed to proceed without a hitch. Turns out, I miscalculated, and they saw right through my cover. Their contracted victim was neutralized, and I took a hit myself – though the bulletproof vest came through, but not without a few broken ribs and nose, courtesy of the other members," she shrugged nonchalantly, a wistful irony in her tone. "In the end, I turned on my own brother and his crew. They were apprehended. Some have served their time and been released, while the rest remain behind bars."

"So, that's the sum of my fucked up history. If only I could have buried it all deep down, maybe Patrick wouldn't be dead. He might never have had the chance to pull that trigger."

"What transpired in that house is not your weight to bear, Ellie. I assure you, if it hadn't been today, it would have happened another. Laura was driven by a purpose, and she executed it. Now, our focus is to ensure Patrick faces the justice he deserves," Nolan affirmed, his arm resting comfortingly on Ellie's shoulder.

"Please, don't let this revelation alter your perception of me. I've kept this locked away, and I mean absolutely no one knows. Usually, it doesn't weigh on me this heavily, but lately, with the sleepless nights and the anniversary of it all... I couldn't take time off to cope, given my rookie status. I apologize for being preoccupied and for not..."

Ellie paused, collecting her thoughts. "I promise it won't become a recurring issue. You won't be let down, I swear."

"I understand. Ellie, it's alright. Thank you for sharing this with me."

A nod from Ellie, and she suggested, "Maybe we should return to the station and get our reports in order for this case."

John agreed, his tone steady. "7-Adam-15, show us returning to the station.”

“7-Adam-15 copy.”

Aaron and Lucy had returned to the station, immersing themselves in the files pertaining to Victor Martin and Anton Yelkavich, looking for any clues that might help their case.

"Sureno 13, renowned for drug cartel involvements and murder-for-hire operations. Though it seems the emphasis has been more on narcotics than actual killings," Aaron commented as he perused the documents before him.

“Not now, anyways. It's turned into a bit of a free-for-all since Yelkavich's demise," Lucy chimed in, her eyes focused on Anton's profile. "According to this, Ellie made the arrest. Pulled him over for speeding, then discovered drugs in the backseat, somewhat concealed. Once he realized she had seen the stash, he brandished a gun at her and Nolan."

"...and let me guess, once he realized he was caught, he tried to strike a deal. Offering up the ringleader and other gang members in exchange for his own freedom."

"Bingo. It would be wise to touch base with Moore and Nolan on this. They might be able to provide insights that the file doesn't have."

"I'm on board with that," Aaron nodded in agreement. "I'll give Ellie a call and see if they're available for a chat."

"No need for that," Lopez interjected as he entered the bullpen. "By the way, any clue about who's in with Grey?"

"Officer Hernandez. She mentioned having some bodycam footage to discuss with him," Aaron replied with a casual shrug.

"Hey, everyone," Nolan greeted, walking in alongside Ellie. "Ah, I see Officer Hernandez is already here. I'll head to Grey's office," he glanced at Ellie, a hint of concern in his eyes. "You should dive into the report. Time is of the essence, especially if Laura follows through on her threat."

Ellie nodded, watching Nolan's departure toward Grey's office.

"Hey, are you alright? What happened?" Lucy inquired, her tone laced with genuine worry for her friend.

"I, uh, had a confrontation with the victim's wife. Apparently, she's got connections in high places, and I just earned a spot on her hit list. Officer Hernandez kindly offered her bodycam footage as potential evidence for my defense, just in case things escalate," Ellie explained, taking a seat with a file before her and commencing her report.

"What the heck happened? What was the altercation about?"

“Murder by suicide. The couple had a prenuptial agreement that stipulated she'd receive nothing in the event of a divorce. But here's the kicker: there's a clause that grants her everything if he were to pass away. Money, assets, the whole deal. She managed to deceive him into believing she was not only seeking a divorce but also sole custody of their two children. And with her influential connections, he felt trapped, convinced he had no way out. The thought of losing his kids drove him to the point where he took his own life," Ellie explained, her voice holding a mix of sadness and frustration. "It was instant. Laura, his wife, or now, widower, approached me while I was outside their residence, alone. She started confessing, revealing all the details. I thought my bodycam was recording, but it seems it somehow got turned off in the midst of trying to de-escalate the situation. So, I'm facing two major strikes against me now. At this juncture, Nolan might decide to blue-page me and suspend me."

"Nolan won't make that call. If he was planning to, you'd be gathering your things already," Lopez assured her, radiating confidence.

"She's got a point," Aaron chimed in, his agreement unwavering.

"Thank you both, but even if Nolan doesn't, I can already see Grey considering it. We'll have to wait and see," Ellie concluded, her tone tinged with uncertainty.

While Ellie diligently composed her report, the remaining trio exchanged uncertain glances, unsure of how to proceed. They recognized the urgency of discussing the case with both Ellie and Nolan, yet they realized Ellie had to complete her report before they could delve into the matter.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lucy observed John emerging from Sergeant Grey's office. Swiftly, she exited the room and approached him.

“Please tell me you guys aren't planning to cut Ellie from the program."

"Ellie is not being cut," Nolan assured, his attention fixed on his rookie stationed in the bullpen. "I'm guessing she confided in you about what transpired?"

"Yeah, she seems to think either you or Grey might decide to pull her."

"Rest assured, we're not doing that. It could've gone worse, and Grey will definitely have a talk with her, but she's staying put."

“Good. On another note, I need to discuss something with you."

Nolan cringed. "Why does that sound bad?"

"It's regarding the case we got earlier today. It has connections to both you and Ellie."

"How so?"

"Ellie's name is on the arrest record. Does the name Anton Yelkavich ring any bells?"

Nolan took a moment to ponder. "He was pulled over for speeding, had drugs in the car, pulled a gun on us, and then offered to cooperate by giving up his gang's leader and other members, right?"

"That's the one," Lucy confirmed.

"And?"

"Anton Yelkavich was murdered. Our alarm call turned into a homicide. We need to sit down with you and Ellie to discuss the details of the arrest and everything that followed."

"Of course. Can we do this after Ellie finishes her report? I just need to get everything squared away with Grey before Laura carries out her threats."

"Absolutely. In fact, let's sit down and chat while Ellie wraps up. I'll inform the rest of the team. Meet me at Lopez's desk," Lucy suggested, leading the way toward the bullpen.

Nolan gave a nod and made his way to the detective's area, positioning himself to await Lucy's arrival.

"Hey everyone, I'm going to have a chat with Nolan about the case while Ellie wraps up her report."

"I'll come with you," Angela promptly responded, turning to Aaron. "You good to hold the fort here?"

"We'll manage just fine, go ahead."

"Ellie, give us a shout when you're done with the report. No pressure, take your time," Angela assured.

"Thanks, Angela."

"No worries."

Angela and Lucy approached her desk, where they found Nolan engaged in studying a picture of Jack.

"He's growing so fast."

"You can say that again," Angela replied with an affectionate smile. "Lucy told you about the case?"

"Just that you guys had some questions," Nolan answered, his attention shifting between the two. "How can we assist?"

"Could you share if anything unusual occurred during your traffic stop and subsequent arrest of Yelkavich?"

"Not much beyond him pulling a gun on us. Ellie managed to disarm and cuff him quickly," Nolan replied, pondering if there was anything noteworthy he might be overlooking. "By the time we got back to the station for booking, he was already offering intel on his gang."

"That brings us to Sureno 13. The gang's leader is Victor Martin," Lopez chimed in, projecting Martin's mugshot onto the screen. "He had previous convictions, drug-related offenses. Served time in Ohio for a deal before possibly moving here."

Nolan felt the blood drain from his face.

"Hey, are you alright?" Lucy inquired, her hand gently resting on Nolan's shoulder. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Nolan turned his gaze to the bullpen, where Ellie was immersed in her report detailing their recent encounter.

"Nolan?"

He looked back at Lucy. "I think our case just got a lot more personal. Which facility was Martin incarcerated in?"

"Uh, it says London Correctional. What's going on?" Angela inquired, her concern evident. "Fill me in."

Nolan sighed, grappling with his thoughts. "This isn't my story to share. Excuse me for a moment, I need to talk to my rookie," he declared, rising from Lopez's chair and making his way toward the bustling bullpen.

"Moore," his voice carried a firm urgency as he called out. "We need to talk."

Alright, lemme hear your thoughts! I LOVE feedback!

I'm going to try and finish/upload chapter four this evening!

#the rookie #john nolan #oc #lucy chen #chenford #tim bradford #aaron thorsen #angela lopez #nathan fillion #nyla harper #tim x lucy

[dent-de-leon]

Tiefling, goliath, eisfuura, cleric, sorcerer

Tiefling: who is your favorite female player

Ooh that's tough. I feel like I have to say Laura Bailey, because the way she plays her characters just makes me so emotional--there are just these moments when she made me cry, especially in C2. She was also one of the VA's I knew of before starting CR, so I was excited to see her play!

Goliath: who is your favorite campaign 1 character

AH this is so hard. I wanna say it's like a three way tie between Percy, Keyleth, and Vax. I love them all a lot. But I don't know, I think there's something I especially love about seeing Kiki now after how far she's come, and everything she's been through. I just have a lot of fondness for her and it makes me excited for more of TLOVM :')

Eisfuura: who is your favorite npc

This feels like cheating almost, because it's just so predictable for me, but--Lucien without question. I adore his wit and charm and dramatic villain monologues--which we now know are inspired by him literally being an actor, and I'll never get over that. He quotes his favorite lines sometimes. He's always looking to put on a show, to become part of something grand.

He's playful, and there are moments when you see a bit of vulnerability behind the mask. And even though he's the villain of the final arc, his character is just so tragic, it makes you still kind of want to root for him a little.

And seeing Matt play Lucien is very fun because it's like watching this eerie sort of mirror image of Taliesin's performance as Mollymauk. The little quirks and mannerisms inherited from Molly, the charm and showmanship and banter. A personality that's become warped, twisting Molly's dreams and desires into something darker. And yet, for every striking difference, there are ripples and echoes of the same Circus Man we know. It's really amazing to watch Matt act all of that out.

Even the way he does Lucien's laugh has this eerie echo of Molly to it that really does remind me of Taliesin. I think that's what makes his performance so appealing to me, that it's not just a character of Matt's--but a character that's almost like this collaboration between them.

Cleric: what is your favorite battle

Again, probably expected, but--that final fight with Lucien. I'm just so weak for stories like this. Where the final villain used to be someone beloved by the other characters before they were lost to them somehow. It makes the conflict so much more personal and just gets me so emotionally invested.

Narratively, thematically--there's just so much to love about this fight. The way Lucien and the Nein are able to manifest whatever they imagine in the Astral Sea through sheer will. The ever present, constant threat of the Nein slowly gaining more and more Eyes, the sense of urgency and finite time.

The whole mechanic where characters are rewarded for trying to reach back out to Molly!! Heartfelt pleas and gutting reminders, the Nein all holding out their hands to Molly. The fact that Jester and Caleb seem to be the ones most consistently able to get through to him, fighting hardest to free him--and then they're the ones Lucien goes after and kills, because to him they're the biggest threat, a representation of the thing he most fears.

That shard of Molly's soul still present, reacting so viscerally whenever his friends are hurt. The way the end of that fight is just so heart-wrenching and gutting and leaves me teary eyed. The perfect parallels to Jester's tarot reading. I'm still not over any of it.

Sorcerer: what is your favorite sam commercial skit

tHE ELDERMANCY COCKTAIL!! There's just. So much going on here. Watching the slow decent into utter chaos, everyone trying to stop him with each new horrible, terrible addition he pours in. The moment he takes that first sip. The horror. The regret.

The realization he just drank like 3 shots of absinthe in an espresso with yogurt. The fact that all this happens?? I believe?? In the episode where we were all horrified there'd be a TPK in that big fight with the Tombtakers?? Literally everything about this whole situation was so cursed I love it.

#hi!! :)

[yashagothbarbarian]

Critical Role C3E6 - “Anni are you okay?!”

#critical role #cr3 #crc3 #laura bailey killing me yet again #critteredit #bells hells

[bimney424]

“I super murdered a guy.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, it was like, I don’t know if I want to ever do that again.”

As I rewatch C2 & am on ep 127, in my head I picture that Beau immediately went to Yasha & hugged her as soon as they poofed into the lighthouse & Yasha just hugs her tightly to comfort her. Beau may have her dickish moments, but she is not a cold-stone killer & has yet to kill someone for basically no reason. Especially someone who was sleeping. The reason I feel it is a moment between the two of them is because she does tell the group as a whole & Fjord makes a comment like he is just hearing this for the first time. ((Cad was going to overhear their exchange no matter what. His perceptive ass.)) And yes, in my head, Beau is next to Yasha again in Veth’s house during this. Yasha would not be one to see her gf in that much stress & not be next to her. This is an amazing episode for me for one other reason that has nothing to do with BY. The amazing Laura Bailey. When Jester is talking Marion after first arriving at the Château is one of my top 10 Jester Lavorre moments. The emotion that Laura brings to this moment even before Matt opens his mouth is amazing. There are not enough words in the English language, or any language to describe just how amazing Laura is in these moments. I love this crazy ass show & these crazy ass people. And yep, still miss the Mighty Nein.

#critical role #bim's rewatch of c2 #miss the mighty nein still #beauyasha #love jester in this ep #beau super murdered a guy #with low grade acid #jester lavorre #laura is a queen in this ep #will forever miss them i think #is it thursday yet?

[cock-holliday]

TLOU2: Abby

MAJOR SPOILERS

So, I’ve been doing a lot of shitting on the game and I stand by it, but I want to get into how I feel about Abby. I don’t actually hate her, but I despise how the game handled her.

Lemme start by saying, when her character intro was dropped I was hyped as hell. Who is this buff mystery woman? I know a lot of fans were upset to not have Ellie/Joel content but I was intrigued by this trailer. Obviously this woman must be important. I thought she was going to be Anna, and imagined a thousand scenarios where we got flashbacks of Anna, Anna was possibly alive and that created conflict with Joel and Ellie and got into “what really makes a family” or something. Super pumped.

I also was more excited immediately recognizing Laura Bailey’s voice. I am a massive fan. Importantly, I also adored her as Nadine Ross in Uncharted. Naughty Dog gave us a buff, kind of scary woman antagonist who kicks your ass tremendously and the whole time I fuckin loved her. She scared me but I thought she was so cool, and was so excited for her to be in Lost Legacy. Same game company, same actress, but they fucked up big time in The Last Of Us Part 2.

I think perhaps the biggest roadblock to getting people to like her is the story order, as I and many many others have talked about, but the problems also extend beyond that. Giving us time to get to know Abby before she kills Joel would have been the most important first step but the way the game tries to FORCE you to like her is a massively glaring issue. Especially with how the game ends, her story is riddled with hypocrisy. 

Every things the game punishes Ellie for, Abby is guilty of. ND uses this to attempt to convince the player that Abby is like Ellie, but she does not suffer the same fate, and the parallels are not subtle enough to be clever, just ham-fisted. Abby would have offered herself up for a cure? Ellie also probably would, but ELLIE didn’t get to make that choice. (Side note: Abby’s dad Jerry is incredibly unlikeable for me. They push a scene of him going out of his way to save a Zebra to humanize him, then he’s on board with sacrificing a child who cannot make this choice herself, pressures Marlene into agreeing, and then has no idea why Marlene would want to inform Joel? Fuck this guy so hard.)

Two flashback scenes do a shit job of being a parallel in the lighter-moment relationships between the dad/daughter pairs. In a scene with Joel and Ellie, Joel incorrectly guesses Ellie is into Jesse. It’s funny because we the audience know that she is into Dina, and I wrote it off as oh, silly clueless dad Joel. But in the Zebra sequence, Jerry correctly guesses that Abby is into Owen. It almost felt like the game was trying to suggest that Jerry and Abby knew one another better than Ellie and Joel do. My found family vs bio family issues with that idea aside, if it’s true, it’s not like we got to see any development between Jerry and Abby to give a single fuck about these people over Ellie and Joel, ESPECIALLY after Joel’s brutal death.

Now, for Jerry’s death, the performance was good, and I tried my hardest to be sympathetic. A young girl lost her father and possibly friends in that hospital fight. That’s awful. If I could pretend like I hadn’t seen Joel die, (or if that was how the story order played) I would feel bad for her. What happened to her is horrible and tragic. 

The next issue is the death of Abby’s friends. Two main issues for sympathy: story order, the context of their deaths. Learning about Nora or Mel or Owen after they’ve died already makes it a challenge to feel something for them, and we spend so little time with them that I genuinely forgot their names pretty quickly. But worse is how their deaths play out. All of them fight Ellie. Ellie did not go out of her way to kill them, she wanted Abby, not them. The woman with the headphones (see how little I remember names?) understandably tried to fight to get free. Don’t blame her, don’t really mourn her either. 

Mel and Owen are rightfully not trusting Ellie, and try to fight to get free because they think they will die either way. Can’t really blame them for fighting to get away, but I also can’t blame Ellie for having to kill them either. We the audience already know that Mel is pregnant, but Ellie doesn’t, and by putting Mel in a jacket that covers her belly, the game makes sure Ellie doesn’t know until she’s already dead. Again, Ellie isn’t given a choice, this time where she could have tried harder to spare Mel for the baby. As a result, she feels like a monster.

The one friend death that hit more like I think it intended was Nora, but probably not for the reasons ND intended. Nora insults Joel to Ellie and I don’t blame Ellie for reacting with anger. Super fucked up, puts Nora in a greater chance to get killed, just to hurt Ellie. I wanted to kill Nora. That being said, catching up to Nora as she’s choking on spores was not how I expected it to go. I commend Nora for defending her friend (Abby) by not revealing her location. But I also don’t blame Ellie for trying to force Nora to talk. Ellie swinging with tears in her eyes, practically pleading with Nora to tell her without needing to cause pain, is more humanizing than Abby, who was seemingly unresponsive to Ellie’s sobs while killing Joel. Ellie feels like a monster here, Abby does not. More than the idea of torture what doesn’t sit right with me about Nora is not Ellie’s decision, but that ND cast a lot of minorities into roles that face the most gruesome violence and deaths, often and usually for the advancement of a white person’s story.

On the flip side, we have Ellie’s friends. We have Jesse, a funny and charming character that provides some light moments and good banter with Ellie. We know him, we like him, we have grown attached to him (I know his fucking name) and then he is killed pretty dismissively, again as a minority prop to someone’s story, (Don’t even get me started on Dina). Jesse is running into a room, gets shot suddenly, we see a kinda gorey shot of his bloody face wound. It’s shocking, and there is no room to mourn because we immediately go back to playing as Abby and I’m supposed to feel bad for her after she killed her SECOND major character. No way.

In this lengthy flashback as Abby, many of her friends are unlikeable, especially Manny.  When their friend Danny is shown in the body bag I was searching my memory for if he was one that I killed cause I couldn’t remember. I already know these people die, and often die after hurting or insulting Ellie and Joel, so I’m not quick to support them. Some of these characters shit-talk Joel and say they wish worse had happened to him. I don’t know any of these people long enough to feel things from their perspective. 

A part that really sticks out for the hypocrisy is before you meet Isaac, when you’re in the apartments where several Scars are held prisoner. We know that the WLF and Scars are at war, but that I don’t know why, mixed with the fact that I don’t give enough of a shit about people on either side, makes it hard to care. I see them similarly to Hunters vs FEDRA. Don’t really like either of you, so knock yourselves out. The image of Scars tied up in cages and in obvious torture rooms was already not a great way to win me over OR give me a good side of Abby, but when Abby delivers the line suggesting she’d want to torture these people, you continue to lose me. Ellie is riddled with guilt, Abby does not seem to be, and talks sadistically about the Scars. Even if you want to suggest this is a parallel to Joel, the way he speaks of his atrocities is ALSO riddled with guilt and self-disgust. Perhaps Ellie’s most sadistic points are in gameplay when taking people out and she insults them, but these scenes ALWAYS have these people attack Ellie first and defend herself. I’d call them fuckers too.

They do all this, and try to SHOVE in moments obviously there to wink wink nudge me to like Abby, and they don’t work. I’ll be honest, in game 1, i didn’t immediately like Ellie. I could see where the story was going and wasn’t going to like her just because they thought I should. The pacing allowed me to come to like her on my terms. It was just the two of us all game so I had plenty of time to like her. By Bill’s town I came to really like her, and by the end of the game, she became one of my favorite characters of any piece of media. 

The game gave me no time to like Abby, and moments I did kind of like her, they slapped me in the face with an obvious device meant to make me like her, and it isolated me further. The whole game made me go “yeah, yeah I get it.” You know when Manny tries to get Abby and Mel to be on good terms and he’s just way too obvious about it? I feel like Manny is Neil (and yeah the posts about their similarity is not lost on me). ND doesn’t let me grow to like these characters without this ever-present 4th-wall loom of “Do you like Abby yet? See, she’s like Ellie.”

I was very excited for this character, I was excited for Laura, I was excited for a character with “unconventional” proportions (I’m also a slut for ladies with big muscles, so there’s that), and I’m just left disappointed. I feel bad for Laura, I feel bad for what Abby could have been. Done right, she would have been a compelling character, but ND fucked her over almost as much as Ellie and Joel.

#the last of us part 2 #the last of us 2 #the last of us spoilers #tlou2 spoilers #tlou 2 spoilers #the last of us 2 spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #tlou2 #tlou 2

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket season 3 #fruits basket 2021

[misstrashchan]

Pyre/Greedling Meta:

I remember in the earlier volumes that a fair amount of people in the FNDM would compare Cinder to Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist, due to her femme fatale persona and voice seeming like an impression of Laura Bailey's Lust.

But as we learn more about Cinder and meet Salem in vol4, it's very clear that the version of herself she likes to present herself as is meant to come across as an impression, an imitation. Because she's trying to imitate Salem, the person who defines what power is to her.

And as that facade crumbles and we slowly start to see how deep Cinder's desires really run, it's far more clear to me that her character and story have much more in common with Greed, not Lust.

:read more:

Greed is the only homunculi who is willing to follow his deepest desires to the fullest, regardless of where that placed him. He was certainly willing to do evil, but wouldn't if that evil didn't personally benefit him. And, over time within the series, Greed comes to realise that his obsession with power, glory and seeking to become God, were nothing more than vain attempts to cover up his true emotional emptiness caused by a lack of connecting to others. And once he finds a cause and people to support who help and support him in turn, his character arc finishes with him, Greed, looking on all that he has, his friends, and is grateful. Content.

Which ties into the lesson of the Fall Maiden in the Tale of the Four Maidens in which Fall begs the Hermit to look around at all he has and be thankful. To be satisfied and content with oneself, which is a lesson Cinder has to learn in order to truly become a Fall Maiden.

Greed's desires are similar to Cinder's own ambition for power driven by her fear and insecurities, seeking to become a "godlike maiden badass" wanting to fill the emptiness and craving she feels, not yet realizing that this will not be what brings her true satisfaction to her, well, greed.

"Greed may not be good, but it's not so bad either. You humans think greed is just for money and power! But everyone wants something they don't have"

"You Atlas elites are all the same! You think hoarding power means you'll have it forever. But it just makes the rest of us hungrier! And I refuse to starve"."

I think it's very important to point out that Greed doesn't become good or redeem himself because he sees the error of his ways and wants to atone for the things he's done, rather he starts on the path to redemption by refusing to be a pawn to Father any longer, when realizing the power and glory he craves he wouldn't be able to obtain by staying and working underneath Father like the rest. His greed and dissatisfaction are what motivates him, though it is ultimately Ling who gives him the final push and convinces him to side with the protagonists.

And Cinder at the end of vol7 seems to be heading towards a crossroads of whether or not she'll stay with Salem, given how the Grimm arm that was "gifted" to her by Salem seems to be slowly consuming her body, she might have doubts about whether the kind of power Salem has promised her is really the kind of power she wants, and whether she's prepared to sacrifice herself to obtain it, or whether she could choose to strike out on her own. Again, some villains start on the path to redemption solely out of self interest.

It's also not just Greed's story I think Cinder's is remarkably similar to, but the stories of Ling and Pyrrha and the role they play in Greed and Cinder's stories, as their souls and stories are intrinsically intertwined.

The ouroboros tattoo and its meaning was the first thing that caught my attention, as it the ouroboros symbol represents eternal cyclical renewal. Of life, death and rebirth. And how that aligns with Pyrrha's incantation used to unlock Jaune's aura:

"For it is in passing we achieve immortality. Through this we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee"

Cinder also has a tattoo of her own symbol that appears after connecting to Amber's soul and taking half of her power, just like the ouroboros tattoo appearing after Greed and Ling's souls were intertwined and he had taken over his body. Cinder takes the other half of the maiden powers after Pyrrha had been bound to them as her and Amber's aura were intertwined, making it likely that Pyrrha is a part of Cinder in the same way Greed and Ling are.

Both Pyrrha and Ling are considered to be people in positions of power and prestige with great expectations placed on them that they intend to live up to. Ling as an Xingese prince, Pyrrha as a world renowned champion fighter and promising huntresses, the "invincible girl". Both agree to becoming a maiden/homuculus respectively, despite the inhumane means of doing so and risk to their body, soul and life, as they believe obtaining this power will help their people.

"We can't transfer Amber's power to you but we can give you what those powers are bound to."

"Her aura"

"Her life... would become intertwined with yours. The question is-"

"What's that gonna do to you?" - (RWBY Volume 3 Chapter 6)

Greed and Cinder's stories are body horror stories about what you'll sacrifice for power, and the power they are "gifted" by their masters, Father and Salem, is concentrated in their left arm.

Interestingly, Greed's power that transforms him into an inhuman monster is his "Ultimate Shield" that makes him invulnerable, which is the exact opposite of the "power" that Salem grants Cinder that slowly crawls up her left arm threatening to turn her into a monster makes her more vulnerable than most, because she doesn't have aura to protect those parts of her.

Both Greed and Cinder are the most defiant of their masters wishes, and often Father and Salem experience losses and failures because they underestimated Greed and Cinder's ambition. What should have been an easy win at Haven for Salem failed because Cinder was overly ambitious in her need to to win, to feel powerful, and Greed's betrayal of Father is simply because his own ambition is greater than his, thus he would never be content to work underneath him, to be less than him.

Both are charismatic individuals and good at convincing others to work with them. They like to surround themselves with others and both are the only ones under Father/Salem to have their own subordinates (Wrath doesn't count since it was always Father's intention to have him become Fuhrer). Despite them clearly needing human connection, their relationship with their loyal subordinates we are introduced to alongside them is... Not Super Great. They might care about them to a certain degree, but at the end of the day they ultimately view them as useful tools and possessions.

Both of them speak of an emptiness they feel inside of them:

"All of these souls inside of me, and yet I still feel so... empty"

"It's... an emptiness. It burns. Like a hunger."

It's ultimately Ling thst acts as Greed's consciousness, as when he doesn't show any remorse over killing Bido, the last of the old Greed's followers, on the orders of Father, Ling is the one who drags out all of his repressed emotion, being able to feel his pain and see his memories, he forces Greed to face them and how terribly he treated his "friends", and to reevaluate his priorities and self, pushing him away from Father.

"It's nothing personal. I'm just doing my job. I am sorry, honestly!"

"What have you done, Greed? Are you determined to prove you're a monster? What kind of sick creature... would kill his own friend!?"

"He wasn't my... friend..."

"Then why do you remember him? And are you gonna try and tell me Bido was just making everything up?"

"Those were the last Greed's memories! They're not mine!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU IN SO MUCH PAIN!?

Pull yourself together, Greed. I'm warning you. I'll take this body back if you drop your guard"

"They aren't mine... Father purified me and purged the old Greed's memories. Those memories aren't a part of me any more!"

"No! You're wrong Greed! It's not that easy! They'll always be a part of you! You can't just erase them from your soul! They were the only part of you that you chose!"

"Look at them! Can you not hear their souls crying out? You abandoned them. Your real family! You threw them away like trash!"

"Fool. If you turned your back on something you wanted, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO CALL YOURSELF GREED!" (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood episode 44, Greed and Ling)

If Pyrrha were to return, it's likely she would manifest and communicate more directly with Cinder than maiden predecessors usually do (though in all fairness we don't know the details of if maiden predecessors do or not), being more similar to Ozpin and Oscar's situation, rather than just being a part of her soul, because of how unnatural her interference with the fall maiden's power transfer was. The way Ozpin looks and speaks about it makes it clear he knows there is a very good chance he was recreating his own curse the GoL bestowed on him, and that this isn't like when he was the Hermit, giving his magic happily to the Maidens.

There's also the parallels between Ozma and Pyrrha's situations too, and how readily they accept their mission and fate, and in how they die, and I believe we still haven't seen the full payoff to those parallels with Pyrrha.

When Ozma reincarnates the first time, it's implied that he completely overtakes Ozma 2.0/ Oisín/Diggs (why do we have so many names for him), having not yet learned how to live with the souls with which he had been paired. It's not until much, much later when Oz is beginning to have doubts about whether he should stay with Salem , but still continues to go along with her plans that Oisín makes himself known, (and we know Ozma isn't used to him communicating with him with how suprised and shaken he is by this, which is strange considering he's been paired with him for a long while, unless Oisín hadn't made himself known before this) and is the one who finally pushes Ozma to leave Salem.

"What are we doing?"

With Cinder returning to Salem's side, full of doubt of whether she can go through with Salem's plan for her, to hurt and destroy herself for this power, and Emerald and Mecury (probably Neo too) likely betraying and cutting ties with Cinder too, which is going to leave her full of even more doubt, hurt, anger and additional feelings of betrayal and confusion. And more than anything, alone. Which would be the ideal time for Pyrrha to say to Cinder like with Ozma, "What are we doing?" To push her to reevaluate her priorities and self.

Imagine Pyrrha finally being able to manifest or communicate with Cinder, realizing she's bound to the woman who killed her. Knowing her emotions and memories in their entirety, feeling her pain and anger as if it were her own. And Ruby describing her as "Pyrrha thought that if there was even the smallest chance of helping someone that it was a chance worth taking" the Pyrrha who told Jaune "Everyone needs a little help sometimes" understanding what Cinder went through, and that if she couldn't save the world or make it better by attempting to kill Cinder, then, maybe as she is now, the one thing she can do to help save the world, to make it a better place, is by helping Cinder be better, helping her use her talents for good, like a true maiden should? (On a more fun note, imagining Pyrrha deciding to help Cinder but not missing any opportunity to be a playfully snarky little shit towards her. Because what is Cinder gonna do? Kill her again? Like tell me Pyrrha would not Do Both. And Cinder's not sure which she hates more: Pyrrha teasing her or feeling sorry for her)

Another interesting thing is how in The World of RWBY: The Official Companion states that Salem's goal is to possess all four relics, and to absorb the power of all the Maidens, which she means to at some point, absorb Cinder's power. It's likely part of why she favours Cinder and has such an intimate relationship with her (the Relic of Choice might have played a role in why Salem chose Cinder specifically) That transition of maiden powers from Cinder to Salem would be made much more seamless for Salem if she was grooming Cinder to be more like her, and was slowly becoming more Grimm, if she was treating Cinder like an extension of herself, because to Salem, she would be. Which is again, similar to Father and Greed, as Greed literally was an extension of Father created from him, and absorbed back into him when he became too disobedient and remade and reborn again.

The finale of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood has Father absorbing Greed's philosopher's stone in an attempt to claim his power, but Greed ends up sacrificing himself by inverting his Ultimate Shield inside of Father, making his whole body incredibly fragile and vulnerable so Ed is able to defeat him. In the end, Greed ends up being the key to their victory against Father.

I want to make it clear that I don't personally think RWBY will end with Cinder dying or "defeating" Salem. At least, not in the traditional sense. I can draw as many comparisons as I like between Greed and Cinder but at the end of the day they're two different stories with different themes. And I don't believe that kind of ending would align with RWBY's. One of the themes of Cinder's story is to find a way to keep living no matter what. And as for Salem, the only way she can "die" is to learn the value of life and death, which would require a much more different approach.

But either way, I do believe Cinder will end up being their key to victory one way or another, similar to Greed.

#rwby #pyre #greedling #cinder fall #greed the avaricious #ling yao #pyrrha nikos #fullmetal alchemist: brotherood #fullmetal achemist #rwby theory #rwby meta #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood spoilers #I AM SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO HAD TO SCROLL THROUGH THIS ALL #I I DON'T HAVE A LAPTOP SO I CAN'T PUT A READ MORE LINK IN MY POSTS ON MY PHONE #thank you to anyone who might have read my dumb long analysis #I've had this in my head for a while but I get really nervous about sharing my thoughts and making long posts like this #so thank you

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E81 (October 22, 2019)

Tonight’s guests are Marisha Ray and Travis Willingham!

Announcements: The first episode of Undeadwood aired on Friday, and the VOD is now up on YouTube! Next episode airs at 7 PM Pacific this Friday! Pub Draw season two continues Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific, guest-starring Laura Bailey!

Episode 81: From Door to Door

Stats for this week’s episode: Beau used her 50th Flurry of Beaus. This is the first time Caduceus has ever dealt damage to an ally in battle. Fjord and Caduceus missed the Wildmother’s holiday while they were in the Sphere. “My iCalendar doesn’t sync in the Happy Fun Ball.”

It’s pointed out that the M9 have started running from fights. Travis: “Yeah, we be runnin’.” Marisha points out that they’re caught in the middle of a war “between angels and demons!” at level ten. Travis: “The lesson we learned from Molly was, you stick around when you should’ve run, there are consequences.”

Fjord was freaked out when he couldn’t summon Star-Razor. “Because if I don’t have any magic, my normal half-orc ass is just sitting there going, ‘Hiiiii.’ I mean, look. I got a whip, and a whip. That’s it.”

As soon as the others lost their magic, Marisha was feeling a liiiittle smug with Beau’s non-magic ways. “Shut the fuck up. This one’s for me! Feels real bad, doesn’t it?”

Fjord isn’t quite comfortable with the blend of Warlock/Paladin yet, but figuring it out.

On Beau solo-tanking without Yasha around: “Maybe this is Beau’s confidence, or mine, or maybe it’s because I’m kind of playing my id... if I do Patient Defense, I’m pretty good. I’m pretty unhittable, and I feel pretty confident about it. It was cool being side-by-side with Jester, though.”

Cosplay of the Week: an adorable Twiggy! (pearlbaecosplay, photo by ivorivet)

“I think Fjord still can’t shake the fact that Yasha looked him dead in the eyes and said, ‘I heard you,’ and still tried to kill him.” Even though Jester’s been relaying what she’s been seeing in the scry sessions, Fjord needs to see it for himself. “It’s going to be a game-time decision on how he reacts when it happens again.”

For INT-19 Beau, Marisha was channeling a bit of “that annoying person at parties who has a few bourbons and goes like, ‘Let’s talk about quantum physics.’”

How long do they think their new construct pal will last? Marisha: “Oh, it’s not coming out of the Sphere.” Travis: “It’s not making it out of this room!”

Travis was encouraging Caleb/Liam’s construction so he’d “be the one that touched the little red button this time to get himself in trouble.”

How Beau presents herself is “deeply important to her, because she was forced to present herself a different way through most of her life.” After that, the last thing she wanted to put on was a tiara.

Brian declares that he won’t trim his beard until Liam grows his back out.

Fan Art of the Week: an awesome Beau with the lightning gauntlet! (by yettinim)

Beau and Fjord’s thoughts on Allura? Marisha: “You seem important. You have a fancy mirror. I like your pretty blonde hair. Hope you’re trustworthy!” Travis: “No alarm bells going off. She seems to have a nice disposition.” Marisha: “She’s just as annoyed as anyone else would be to be there.”

Fjord is both looking to Caduceus for answers, and is waiting for the Wildmother to give more information.

Brian asks Marisha if she’s interested in multiclassing with Beau right now? “Nah, I’m good.”

Is Beau bothered by getting her intellect boost magically rather than working for it? Eh. It’s a D&D world. “I can learn about their insides by punching them, so I’m fine with it.”

On the now rapidly approaching Traveler-con, Travis: “IT’S A FUCKIN’ CULT, MAN!" 

#critical role #critical role spoilers #long text post #talks machina #talks machina spoilers

[just-dreaming-marvel]

CHAPTER TWENTY - THE FILES

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 2,250ish

Summary: Bailey finally shows Tony the files.

When we arrived back at the Tower, I quickly got out of the car. I walked to the elevator with Tony quietly following me. He was carefully watching me.

“Where to Boss?” FRIDAY asked as we entered the elevator. Tony looked over at me.

“My floor,” I answered.

The elevator doors closed and it began to move up. I kept my eyes on the doors while Tony kept his eyes on me. It’s like he was worried that any second I would suddenly disappear. We stood there in silence all the way up and once the doors opened. I walked out first, Tony quickly following behind. I went straight to my lab. I opened the cabinet with the safe inside of it, placed my finger on the scanner, and it opened. I grabbed the files and placed them on the table in the center of my lab.

I sighed. “I… I haven’t even read all the way through these…” I looked up at Tony, who was across the table. His hands were twitching, itching to grab a hold of the files. “I thought I remembered everything about my life at HYDRA. Turns out, I don’t… FRIDAY, pull up my files on the table and the screens.”

“Even with Mr. Stark present?” FRIDAY questioned.

“Yes.” I met Tony’s gaze. He was obviously hurt that FRIDAY would even have to ask that question. “Even with him present.”

The table and the screens around the room began to glow. Notes, lab results, pictures, anything and everything from both of my files began to pop up on the screens around the room. Tony looked around and began to skim over them. 

“Wait,” I went to stop him. Tony turned around and focused on me. “Before you began reading anything,” I continued. “I need to explain to you what happened and what I know.” Tears began to fill my eyes.

Tony quickly came over and wrapped me up in his arms. “It’s okay… Take your time.” He gently urged.

I nodded and pulled back. “Do you remember, a few months back, when you came into my room because you heard me screaming?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“I had a nightmare… a flashback or whatever. You held me. As I looked up at you, I started getting a shooting pain through my head. Then I… I saw something…” I looked away from Tony.

“What did you see?” Tony pressed.

I took a deep breath. “I saw a wormhole. A Chitauri leviathan floating around. The team, myself included, dead, on a mound of ruble.”

Tony stepped back in shock. “How— You— You saw that?”

“I did.” I looked down at the ground. “That night I also saw the Maximoff twins with Ultron. And then when I first heard the name Maximoff… the pain came back and I saw two kids in cages, HYDRA cages… Similar the ones I was held in.” The tears slowly started to flow down my cheeks. “And then in the quinjet on the way to Clint’s farmhouse, I saw what Wanda showed Steve. And then before Thor left the farm, I saw a glimpse of what he was shown.” I looked up at Tony, tears still streaming down my face and some threatening to leave his eyes. “After Thor left, Laura convinced me to go to the barn. Fury was there waiting for me.”

“What? Why?”

“Fury wanted to talk. He wanted to give me these.” I pointed to the files.

“You talked to Nick without me?”

“I had to. He knew about what was happening. He said that he needed me to know me.” I set my hand on the files. “Fury told me about some of the things in these…” I trailed off, looking down at the files under my hand.

“Like what?” Tony inched closer to me.

I took a deep breath before continuing. “Like the full extent of my abilities.”

“The full extent? I don’t understand.”

“So we know that I have super strength, I can heal myself, and that my aging is slow, correct?”

“Correct,” Tony hesitantly nodded.

“Well those aren’t the only abilities I have.” 

I took another deep breath. I had gotten this far without completely losing it, I could continue. I had to continue. Tony noticed that I was trying to calm myself. He grabbed one of my hands, gently rubbing the back of mine with his thumb. 

“You’re doing good, B,” he comforted. “I’ll stay here and listen as long as you need.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, giving his hand a little squeeze. “Okay… Um… Well, for one, my healing abilities are far stronger than any of us realized.” Tony nodded along, his eyes never leaving my face so that I would know that he was listening. “I can heal, not only myself, but others. HYDRA would have me heal their injured agents after missions, from what I was told. I don’t exactly remember doing it though. Fury told me that healing others took a lot of effort, and… it does.”

“What do you mean it does? Have you tried to heal someone recently?”

“Dr. Cho. When Steve and I went to her lab, we found her badly injured. I healed her. Well, I stopped the bleeding. As I healed her, I felt some of my strength leave so I knew that I couldn’t completely heal her or I wouldn’t have been able to continue the mission.”

Tony stayed silent for a bit. He wanted to ask a question, I could tell, but he was scared. I don’t think he was scared of the question as much as he was scared of my answer. I waited patiently for him to ask it so that we could continue.

“Why… uhhh…” He took a deep breath as he looked down, let go of my hand, and scratched the back of his neck. “Why don’t you remember everything about your time at HYDRA?”

“My file says that they wiped my memory and brainwashed me just like they did with the Winter Soldier.” Tony quickly looked at me, eyes wide with pain and guilt. He always felt guilty for not finding me sooner. “But… Fury think that it didn’t work because of my other ability.”

“Which is?”

“Telepathy.”

“You’re telepathic?”

“Mmhmm. The files state that they erased the knowledge of the ability from my memory as well, for HYDRA’s benefit. But Fury, and I suppose Wanda and Vision as well, believe that I blocked out the memories myself. From my files, it seems that I was extremely strong. Especially since my abilities were— are natural, unlike Wanda’s. I could have blocked them out myself. They think that the… um, that they pain and… and the trauma was all too much for me to handle, so I willingly blocked it all out and remembered only what I wanted to.”

Tony looked at me with tears and so much pain in his eyes. “Kid…” He stepped towards me, reaching his arms out for me. 

I took a step back, holding out my hand as a signal to stop. “I need to finish. If I let you hold me before we finish, I won’t be able to.”

“Okay,” he nodded understandably.

“Like I was saying, my telepathic abilities were extremely strong. I was able to read peoples thoughts and emotions. I was able to relive their memories as well as speak to others through their thoughts. This explains why I was able to see what Wanda had showed everyone… And I— I also was able to manipulate people into doing what I wanted them to, or what I was told to make them do. But I wasn’t able to manipulate memories, or so they thought. They really didn’t know how to keep track and test it. I’m pretty sure I could though. It just makes sense.”

“Is that all?” He hesitantly asked, trying so hard to resist the urge to hug me.

“There’s…” The tears formed faster. “There’s one more thing…” I looked down as I shifted my weight between my feet.

“B…” He took a careful step towards me, careful not to breach my much needed space. “You’ve done so good… You’re almost there. Take your time.” 

The tears began to stream down my face faster. “I was able to torture people, mentally. HYDRA had me use it on a lot of their enemies… I… I was a monster, Dad. I am a monster. I hurt people. People who didn’t deserve to be hurt. They begged me to kill them and, sometimes, I granted their wish. I’m a monster.” I sobbed.

Tony quickly grabbed me, holding me close to his chest. “Sshh… Shh…” He gently brushed through my hair with one of his hands. “You aren’t a monster. You had no choice in doing any of those things.” He slowly rocked us back and forth as I sobbed into his shirt. “It’s okay, B. You’re okay sweetie… You’re safe…” He paused for a brief minute before speaking again. “Thank you.”

“F-for w-what?” I stuttered through the sobs.

“For finally telling me. For opening up and trusting me.”

“We… w-we… don’t even know… everything… y-yet…”

Tony put one of his hands under my chin and gently pushed my head up so that I was looking up at him. “And that’s okay. We’ll do it together, one step at a time. Just you and me against the world, kid.” He moved his hand and wrapped his arm back around me. “Always. Just you and me… FRIDAy put the files away. We won’t be looking at them anymore today.”

“Of course, Boss,” FRIDAY responded, quickly turning the screens off.

I began to sob harder. I didn’t even think that it was possible. Tony held my head close to his chest, rocking us back and forth. I think we stood there in my lab for about thirty minutes. Tony just let me cry in his arms. The tears slowed down and I sniffled. I pulled back a little so that I could look at Tony. His eyes were sad, red, and puffy. He had been crying too and I hadn’t even noticed. I went to speak but was interrupted by FRIDAY.

  “Ms. Potts is on the line for you sir,” the AI informed.

“Is it okay if I answer it?” Tony looked at me and asked.

“Yes, but—“

“Don’t worry. This will stay between us, I don’t know how she’ll handle it.”

I nodded. “I’m not going to say anything though.”

“It will be like you’re not even here.” Tony winked. “Patch her through, FRI.” He commanded. “What’s up Pep?”

“Hey Tony,” she greeted. “I was just calling to check on how the rest of today went.”

“Better.”

“That’s it? Did you guys talk about anything? Has she told you why she’s been acting so strange the past few months? Why she got so mad that she ran off?”

“No.. She hasn’t.” He looked at me with pained eyes. 

“Well I’m worried. We need to do something about it.”

“I’m worried too and I’m on it.”

“You’re on it? What exactly is your plan?”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve figured it out.”

“Figured it out? Tony—“

“I’ve really got to go Pep. I can’t keep her waiting. Love you.” The call ended.

“She’s not going to be very happy the next time you see her,” I teased.

“She’ll get over it.”

We stood there, in each others arms, for who knows how long. I was beginning to feel extremely tired. I glanced at the clock, seeing it was nine pm, and decided that it was time to go to bed.

“Hey, dad?” 

“Yes, hon?”

“I.. I think I’m going to go to bed. I’m tired and kind of done talking about this right now.”

“Okay, kid. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mmhmm.” I nodded. 

“Okay then.” Tony held a kiss to my hairline before resting his cheek against the top of my head. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know, Dad.” I held onto him a bit tighter. “I love you too.” His kissed my forehead one last time before letting me go. “Goodnight kid.” He began walking to the elevator. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will… Night.”

He got in the elevator. Before the doors shut, I could tell that he was hesitant to leave me alone. He was worried, scared. I gave him a small smile, he gave me one back as the doors shut in front of him. I should have felt more relieved than I did about talking to Tony about my files. But it caused more questions and I started to worry about Tony. He now has access to the files. He was going to stay up all night reading them, I knew it. But what was I going to do to stop him? 

I shook my head and made my way to my bedroom. I needed some sleep. I’d worry about everything else in the morning. I got changed into my pjs, brushed my teeth, and climbed into bed. I asked FRIDAY to turn off the lights as well as to text Steve that I had told Tony and that I’d tell him more in the morning. As the lights dimmed, a started getting a small headache. I ignored it, hoping I was just over thinking everything and that it would soon pass, closed my eyes, and fell asleep. 

next >

#avengers #avengers fanfiction #avengers age of ultron #age of ultron #avengers x oc #the avengers x oc #the avengers #avengers infinity war #infinity war #avengers endgame #endgame #captain marvel #Captain America civil war #civil war #spiderman homecoming #captain america #Iron Man #Steve Rogers #tony stark #Tony Stark fanfiction #tony stark x oc #iron man fanfiction #Steve&nbsp;Rogers x oc #steve&nbsp;rogers fanfiction #iron man x oc #Captain America x oc #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

#leah plays mass effect 3

[readbythestarlight]

c2e93

Oooookay the ad is freakishly normal so far

Nott: I stole this statue because fuck your dad

Fjord harassing the man just sitting listlessly in the bar

This poor old guy xD

I like how Fjord is like “it’s time to find out all about Beau’s wild days”

[[MORE]]

Cary: “you good with a shovel?”

Cad: “I am actually.”

“They are... disappointing.”

Jester is so grossed out by these rooms poor thing

Okay what’s the joke with Sam’s flask this week

HOLY SHIT THEY ALL GET TO SEE THE TRAVELER FOR THE FIRST TIME

Oh fuck what does that mean

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

So that means he’s.... not a god right

I’ve heard the theory he’s an archfey who Jester is helping to ascend to godgood because of her belief in him?

lol the Nott and Fjord banter is the BEST

He was?? A kid?? When she met him?? I do not remember this!!

The disappointment over that Nat20 cause they wanted to fight xD

Oh boy it’s been a while since they faced a harpy

The whole jar, Caleb?? Come on that was fun boba

Now you’ve lost the boba AND you have to fight

Nott’s drinking has gotten bad again

Have we seen Cad’s spirit guardians? I can’t remember. It’s probably bugs.

Called it

Cad coming in clutch with the dispell to save the wizard

Oh boy double crits

Ha nice tho! Fjord fjucking it up with the armor!

And the second one too DAYUM that armor is good

Oh frick it’s acid

OH NO

THE HORSES

Sending the horses back alone is a dumb idea they’re def gonna die

Good trying to deceive his way across the swamp xD

Poison fog?

Ghost fog

This which really does not want visitors

People skin leathers

I half hope it’s NOT the witch’s hut just because it would be funny

They just come across some really really weird hermit’s hut

SHIT there she is hiding on the roof

SHE SCARY

Thanks Matt I hate it

Wtf is she

I haaaaaate her

Also they’re gonna be fucked with a point of exhaustion

Hate the voice god dammit Matt

Like y’all I’m not easily freaked but she is definitely freaking me out

NOPE

NOPE

DONT LIKE HER

I’m with Travis this one time

“One at a time” hahaha hell no

Fjord really stepping up here I’m proud of him but also FUCK DON’T GO IN ALONE

Fjord don’t go promising favors to a witch

Thank god for that low roll

Fjord you little shit xD

Oh no Beau

Beau don’t do it

Nott wouldn’t want you to do it

MARISH RAY

NOOO THE STREAM IS DYING

Beau Beau Beau don’t

God I hate this no no no no no no no no no

I won’t allow this

MARISHA

GODDAMN

RAY

DONT YOU DARE

BEAU DONT

NO

Please Beau don’t

Please Beau

Please

They wouldn’t want this you’ll be hurting them too

BEAU

Oh thank god she left

Beau please don’t

Beau

ASK HER WHAT SHE MEANS BY NOT YET

What if she agrees to change Nott because she senses that Nott’s misery of being away from the M9 would be enough new misery to make it worth it

NOTT

NOTT YOU BAD

DONT DO THAT

Jfc Nott DONT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

ALL THOSE LIVES??

Jfc this is THE MOST SELFISH I am appalled

That puts your own family in danger!

Beau was going to sacrifice all her happiness for you and you’re going to fuck over two nations?!

Nott

Don’t you dare

Girl

If this pushes Beau to make the sacrifice instead I will rage

Has Nott been really off lately or is that just me

“Things that don’t really affect us though” Nott you lying selfish

I am so disappointed in you

Oh Beau’s gonna be MAD

Nott you LIAR

Beau tell them

Tell them the truth

Beau

Please tell them

So they can tell you how miserable they’ll be without you

BEAU DO NOT

MARISHA PLEASE DONT DO THIS

SOMEONE STOP HER

STOP

HER

PLEASE

hug her!! And hold her!! And walk away from the goddamn witch!!

PLEASE DONT LET HER

Jester hug her

Group hug her

Don’t let her

Yasha

oh god

Not gonna let Beau do this

I’m crying so hard please just kill this witch please don’t give her anything

Jester Yasha somebody grab Beau and just hold her and tell her you can’t lose her

All of you do that

And Yasha please don’t listen to the witch

She feeds on your misery, she would bring your wife back as a husk

DAMN RIGHT GIRL

What’s she gonna give her

Oh no the flowers I’m

I’m crying really hard right now

Please roll well

“Oh I just meant I would kill you”

YAAAAS YASHA

Just do it please

Jester no

Can we not

Let’s just fight her let’s just KILL HER

I want Jester to kill her with sunshine

Oh no her artistic expression

Oh that would be so sad

Just KILL HER

JESTER NO

JESTER

JESTER NO

OH MY GOD

I’m gonna throw up

N: “let her do her thing” FUCK YOU NOTT

Oh damn, was that clever of her?

Oh. Oh my god.

She’s using modify memory

BABY GIRL

that’s THE SPELL

ITS NOT GONNA WORK BUT IM PROUD SHES TRYING

HOLY SHIT

SHE SUCCEEDED

I can’t breathe

That persuasion dice roll for the fucking cupcake

LAURA GODDAMN BAILEY EVERYONE

I literally can’t breathe

Taliesin is all

Of us

Marisha is the only one keeping in character

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

I can’t believe it was all that darkness and all that emotion and then Jester saved it with a moldy cupcake

Anyone feel like Jester did that as much to keep Beau with them as for Nott?

I’m shaking man what a ride

#im still screaming guys #critical role #cr spoilers #Jester Lavore MVP

[nerexchan666]

Why Tlou2 isn’t a good game

First I want to start with rants and opinions of gameplay channels (I had to type all these down while listening. They’re not in any way manipulated,if u want, u can watch the videos urself)

pewdiepie:

''everything was a mess''

''the game had a lot of potential to be good''

''would i play it again? no i wouldn’t.''

''they tried something different and i don’t think it really worked.''

''it didn’t fit the last of us''

''half the game was abby...its fucking crazy''

''give it a rating? uhhh...probably like a 6 out of 10. I’m not really passionate about this shit''

tyler1:

''joel's not stupid''

''okay i understand Ellie not killing Abby cuz she was in such a shitty spot,but why would the devs even do that?''

''no body gets a moment except for Abby''

''this entire game was such a waste of fucking time, don’t even make the third one.''

''this shit was so sad to play''

''there was no progress made anywhere,you’re just running back and forth''

''why did we play as abby for so long''

''why was i forced to beat the shit out of Ellie as Abby''

''this whole game is a fucking message''

''sex scenes were out of place,you just added it to add it''

''you should be ashamed of yourselves,devs''

''i don’t like how stupid the characters were, you develop characters and in the end they do something the opposite''

''(the part in aquarium when they forgot the map) you’re telling me TOMMY,okay i understand ellie might forget cuz it was her first time killing a pregnant woman, she MIGHT forget,lets give it a benefit of the doubt,Tommy is not a dumbass, never in the million years would he forget it (the map) and it was right by her feet''

''they’re not stupid''

''joel is almost 60 years old,he survived for 40+ or 30+ years,and he's that dumb? oh get the fuck out of here''

''same way when earlier in the game,when joel and tommy,again they were apparently biggest fucking idiots in the game, followed two random people into a trap, and joel dies. bullshit''

''you’re gonna throw all that away and have joel be a fucking r*t*rd?''

''and then tommy,who is his equal? absolutely not.''

''a second game in the series, from how good the first one was,to this game right here,this might be actually the worst game i ever played.''

''1 out of 10, simply because it ran''

''they literally shit all over ellie for no reason''

''(while playing as abby) literally fucked up my mood''

sodapoppin:

''the beginning of the game was god tier,because we had joel and ellie and other characters''

''and then we play as the fridge. Nothing in those 12 hours had anything to do with ellie or joel''

''it was just a bunch of i don’t give a fuck about whos and side quests''

''i really don’t give a fuck i’m sorry''

''they started with a 10 out of 10 game and converted to 2 out of 10''

''ellie and fridge have a fight,hype as fuck,NO ONE DIES,tommy who is a badass,,,THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD''

''playing as fridge i cared so little,i literally tried to speedrun it''

''the ending was good,but i would’ve changed it a lot. Made it more about ellie''

theradbrad:

''i didn’t like when she was holding dina down,ellie told her she was pregnant and she said good,if lev wasn’t there..

i feel like,,,i don’t want a good ending for abby at all''

''i still feel no attachment to abby like i do with ellie''

''I feel like they were trying to make you feel bad for her (like manipulation)''

''we didn’t know Joel was going to die hours into the game in such a way that’s so unlike him''

''i felt like they wanted to make abby's portions of the game more memorable, by making them better. Doesn't mean the character's better''

''they put a lot of the most exciting parts of the game,the haven being burned down,the horse ride out of there,that alone was more exciting

than anything in ellie's portion''

''i personally didn’t like abby's character,i like some stuff she did besides killing joel''

''and i didn’t like any of her friends. I didn't care when owen died,i hated when pregnant girl had to die''

''i cared for jesse,he was probably the most underrated character in the entire game''

''i don’t like what happened to any character. One character i didn't feel bad for was abby's dad,like joel killing her dad.. good. And ellie should've at least appreciated that and i think she slowly realized towards the end of the game: Joel did this for me''

''but after everything is over,she let her (abby) live. We all wanted her to die,but i had a feeling something like that wasn't going to be the case''

''but i think she beat her down good''

''did i like it? i did like some events of the game,i didn’t like some characters,i didn't like abby, i liked her story,i didn't like the fact that she killed joel,like i didn't like her from the jump,but over time i like that she helped lev''

''how joel died was so uncharacteristic. He didn't trust anyone in the first game,he wouldn't even give out his name,he was driving over people with a truck''

''the game wanted me to feel bad for abby but i don't care about her. I cared more about what happened to lev''

''the game wasn't bad''

now, here are some videos that are worth watching:

also,AngryJoe has a good video about the last of us 2, check that out as well. My point is, people blatantly defending this game are in denial. ‘’You are manipulated to like joel!!!!’’ no. What they gave showed us about Joel in the first game served as a backstory as to why is Joel the way he is. He doesn’t trust anyone, isn’t attached to anyone simply because if they die and he cared about them,it would once again destroy him. The only person he trusted the most was Tess (and tommy),yet we see Tess sacrifice herself and we clearly see how upset Joel is over her death. It’s basic storytelling.The giraffe part of the game served as a small break from the dark stuff that keeps happening. It was a small moment of joy and peace for both Ellie and Joel (The giraffe symbolizes grace, peace, individuality, protection, communication). I’d say they’re manipulating us to like Abby,a very disliked character because of her actions. They’re showing her in a better light than Ellie (example below):

‘‘But that’s just some gaming channels, only the minority dislike the game!!!’‘ Nope.

these are just some comments out of thousands and thousands of other that voice their displeasure (last one was about the vaccine and how killing Ellie is pointless).

The sales have dropped by 80%, many MANY people are selling their copies on various sites,because they realized the leaks were true and the story is a complete mess. (It’s mostly japanese players that are selling their copies, so u could say they’re least satisfied).

Is the game bad? yes, in some ways. Is it complete trash? no. The graphics are out of this world, voice acting is absolutely amazing. 

This is not an attack to people who enjoyed this game, this serves as an example and explanation as to why people dislike this game.

It’s definitely not a 10/10 game. It has a lot of flaws. It’s more like 5/10 or weak 6/10. I personally didn’t enjoy 90% of the game. I was p stoked when it got announced. After i found out about the leaks (which was just joel’s death, nothing else) i still gave this game and the devs a benefit of the doubt. 

p.s. review bombing this game with positive scores doesn’t make u any better than those who review bombed it with negative scores. And don’t attack actors because of this game, especially Laura Bailey (Abby’s actor).

(if i made any mistakes, my bad, i’m not a native english speaker)

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #joel miller #ellie williams #dina #tlou part 2 #abby anderson #video games #gaming #the last of us part two #tlou2 #tlou part ii

[princessamericachavez]

Little Fjorester moments on episode 67

So this was a slow one, but if you think I won’t find things to scream about you’re underestimating how much I’m willing to overanalyze everything these two do, so let’s jump in!

[As soon as they walk into the spider room]

Jester: I cast bless on [Caduceus], and Beau.... and Fjord.

The little pause there kills me because I think Jester is considering whether to protect herself or give it away, but it’s only for a short second before she settles for him. Because, of course, they are always each other’s priority. She hasn’t left him out of a Bless so far, he’s always blessed by her and I wonder how that feels like. If right after a battle he just feels a tiny bit of warmth inside him and knows that a little bit of her magic is focused on helping him and keeping him safe. Just- the fact that this has become a given between them. I’m emo.

Jester trying to use toll the dead on the spider attacking Fjord. Sadly, she fails but maintains the trend of watching over him during battle.

Beau (goes to Caleb’s aid): You’re surrounded by friends, though.

Fjord: One of them isn’t even real!

Laura: *Proceeds to roll a 6 (of love) ensuring the spider attacks her duplicate rather than Fjord, effectively protecting him again*

Fjord: *picks up brown goop from the floor*

Jester:

Fjord:

Jester:

Fjord:

Jester:

IDK HOW IC OR OOC THAT WAS BUT IT WAS CUTE AND FJORD IS AN IMPULSIVE DUMBASS WHO I LOVE OK?

Jester: uses Sacred Flame on the spider webs

Fjord: Niceeee, good call!

HE’S HER NUMBER ONE FAN YALL

Their married couple banter regarding the suspicious mist though:

Fjord: Okay, everybody through the door.

Jester: No, hold on! Hold on!

Jester: *checks the mist*

Jester: ...I think it’s just mist.

Fjord: C’mon, everybody in.

Jester: Hold on! I haven’t unlocked it yet!!!

[LATER]

Fjord: Beau and Jester, can we guard this hallway in case something comes up?

Jester: You got it!

Jester: *starts playing with the mist*

Fjord:

Everyone: *still going about their business*

Jester:

Fjord:

HE GOOFS AROUND WITH HER TOO DON’T TOUCH ME

Yasha and Nott: *talk about starting a band*

Nott: Can anyone else play an instrument??

Jester: I can play the piano really well!

Jester: *being adorable*

Fjord:

Fjord: I can sightread perfectly

Nott: You studied music theory?!

Fjord: No.

THIS BOY TRYING TO IMPRESS JESTER AND BECOME PART OF THE GAME EVEN IF HE HAS NO FORMAL EDUCATION IN IT

or doesn’t he????????

All I want now is a scene where Jester is teaching him how to play the piano or something like that a la Romione 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LAURA BAILEY I’M BEGGING YOU

MORE MARRIED BANTER

Fjord: Alright, who’s ready to go into the hot yoga studio?

Jester: I think it’s colder.

Fjord: what

Jester: That room is colder than this one. 

Fjord: I think it’s hotter

Caduceus: No, it’s colder

Jester: The mist is cold, that’s why it’s evaporating.

Fjord: alright

Jester: I learned about these things!

Fjord:

THIS WAS PROBABLY JUST TRAVIS NOT KNOWING PHYSICS BUT LISTEN FJORD HAS HAD LITTLE FORMAL EDUCATION VS JESTER WHO PROBABLY HAD A LOT OF TUTORS AND STUFF AND FOR SOME REASON I FIND THAT CONTRAST ENDEARING AF

Fjord: *asks Yasha for help blowing the mist*

Fjord: *ends up doing it alone*

Yasha: Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Fjord: Now, if you’d fucking jump in the train. 

Jester: I’ll join! I’ll join! I’ll join!

These three:

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BYEE

[After they make a pause on their descent]

Jester *whispers*: What are we doing? What are we doing?

Jester *still whispering*: Are we moving again?

Fjord *super softly despite being like 3 people ahead of her*: Yeah, we’re moving again.

HE’S JUST ALWAYS PAYING SO MUCH ATTENTION TO HER AND MAKING SURE SHE FEELS HEARD AND AS SOMEONE WHO IS ALWAYS THE FRIEND WHO TRIES TO SPEAK AND NO ONE LISTENS LEMME TELL YOU THAT HAVING ONE PERSON ALWAYS MAKING SURE YOU DON’T GO IGNORED IS THE BIGGEST SHIT EVER TO ME OKAY?? Also his voice was so soft i cry

SPEAKING OF SOFT can we talk about how soft he was whenever he suggested Jester use one of her spells??? Never demanding or expecting her to, just carefully checking while making sure she knows there’s no pressure. It made my heart melt.

Fjord: Hey, Jester?

Jester: Hm?

Fjord: I don’t... know if you wanna waste it, but you’re not interested on locating that individual we’re chasing, do you?

Jester: I mean...

Fjord: You don’t have to.

IT’S JUST SOFT OKAY??

Fjord: *hexes the zombie closest to Jester*

Jester: awww

LOOK IT DIDN’T LAST BECAUSE GAME DYNAMICS BUT HE WAS GOING TO OK?

Also Jester stepping forward and bringing out her Spirit Guardians when he’s surrounded by zombies

Because. They. Look. After. Each. Other.

[LATER BEFORE THEY REST]

Jester: I guess I could send him a message.

Fjord: 

Jester:

Jester: Do we want to send him a message?

Fjord: Do you want to?

FJORD MAKING SURE THE CHOICE IS HERS. FJORD ALWAYS RESPECTING HER CONTROL OVER HER MAGIC, NEVER DEMANDING. 

Also, listen, I choose to count this as proof that Fjord counting words for Jester’s messages is canon and in character. 

[AFTER]

Jester:

Fjord:

Jester: It’s up to you guys if you wanna stay here.

Fjord: Did you wanna try to locate object...

Fjord: Or was that the same spell slot?

Jester: I mean... I- I- I could try to...

Jester: I could try to cast it on literally anything he was wearing, I don’t know if he still has that on

Fjord: You can just try.

Jester: if he’s within a thousand feet

Fjord:

Jester: If we’re for sure gonna stay here

Fjord: We are

[AS THEY SETTLE FOR BED]

Beau: I’ll take first watch.

Fjord: I’ll join that second- I mean first watch

AND THIS LOOK HAPPENS

And later Travis is like

“Actually, I’ll take the second watch, I wanna keep an eye...”

AND AGAIN

LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN JESTER WAS SO UPSET AND WORRIED AND I JUST REALLY WANT THEM TO SHARE A WATCH AND TALK

PLEASE DIE GODS PLEASE

FEED ME

But we’ll have to wait for next week for that!

(I always say “this is gonna be a short one” and then they blow up lmfao even little fjorester content is a lot of fjorester content haha)

#fjorester #critical role #cr spoilers #fjord #jester lavorre #sofia's nonsense

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 18 + short Ep 1-17 english dub recap

AND I'M BACK WITH THE MADNESS.

Took a bit of a break from the Fruits Basket recaps because life happened and I wanted to focus a bit more on my art career and my webcomic. But, I came to miss doing the recaps! So, I'm gonna try and finish season 2 and do some of the left over recaps now in time for when Season 3 drops!

I HAVE however been re-watching the older episodes of Fruits Basket Season 2 with the english dub this time and I have a few notes!:

A shoutout to the wording used in the Yuki 'confession' scene on the beach with Tohru. However, in the sub the confession came across a lot more like platonic love to me and in the dub the confession came across a lot more romantic. (Especially in the episode after where Yuki says he doesn't regret kissing Tohru lol)

Laura Bailey stays killing it as Tohru. All the little vocal inflections are so freakin cute and make her sound more human! But that also speaks to the editing as well which is great. The balance between a little naive and scared and yet strong and determined in her scene with Akito was... amazing.

(Also... all of Akito’s most violent and hurtful moments are when it’s dark... I dunno I just found that cool and interesting lol)

Jerry Jewell in EPISODE 9?!?! His scene with Akito always gets me regardless but Jerry Jewell's performance was heartbreaking! Ah, I could cry. (I did) The little shake he did while declaring he wasn't in love with Tohru because he can't say that shit actually truthfully? 😩 Also... is he intentionally making Kyo’s voice sound a little deeper? It definitely sounded like it in that episode with Kagura. I like!!

While I LOATHE Akito, Colleen Clinkenbeard is amazing, I've never heard her sound this sneakingly evil! And yet... it's slightly carefree too. Reminds me a lot of Shigure. As I said before, Akito and Shigure's english VAs pair up so nicely in audible form.

I love how flirty Hatori was in the English dub when it came to him and Mayu’s episode. It was a really lovely performance from Kent Williams :) I always read that scene of Hatori just being friendly when asking Mayu out to get something to eat but this was a whole other wonderful take!!! <3

I LOVE KIMI TODO’S ENGLISH VA’S PERFORMANCE OMG. THANK YOU, CHERAMAI LEIGH 🤣

Kakeru’s English VA continues to sound cuter and cuter... 😘 Whassup, Aaron Dimsuke? I kid, lol

I lovee the fact that Haru calls Yuki ‘fragile and kind’ (two typically feminine presenting descriptions) and Yuki took it as a compliment! I dunno about the description of fragile as many people could take that offensively, regardless of gender, but the way it’s explained here it’s almost like he’s describing him as precious?... Coulda went with that instead...

I like the decisions for the moments where Mikaela Krantz emphasises on Momiji’s put on German accent and when she tones it down and return to his natural voice

But anyways... lol, this episode was... a LOT. Not an easy breezy one for me to come back to at all... I’ll be watching the english dub.

TIME TO DIVE BACK IN!

-------------------------------------------

- Hiro's so cute at the start of this episode talking about his sibling and how he wants to look out for his mum. Of course, it's in the most Hiro of ways but this scene definitely warmed me up to him a lot more :)

Hiro’s mum is like a future Tohru, haha

That hair animation they give Rin is always great 😂 I hope Takaya-sensei is proud.

It’s so curious how Hiro speaks so honestly and true to Rin yet is so careful of her emotions. He’s never really been like this with anyone but Kisa, especially not the other teens or adults. It kinda shows how much seeing what happened to Rin by Akito’s hands really got to him and traumatised him. Of course, Hiro’s not just doing this because of his trauma but cos he genuinely cares!

- I noticed that there was a slight parallel between Hiro + Kisa and Rin + Haru. Kinda highlights why breaking the curse is important to Hiro and gives more reason as to why that event with Rin and Akito freaked him out.

- I dunno if this is intentional or just an animation glitch but I’ve noticed that in that long panning shot in the opening theme that closes into Yuki, Tohru and Kyo looking at the sunset, it looks like Kyo’s experession kinda ‘glitches’ in between a smile and a stoic look. Again, I don’t know if it was intentional, but I like to think it’s as a little show of Kyo not really managing to attain true happiness fully (for now anyway).

- (Also, I think that this opening song might come third in my list of most favourite opening songs in Fruits Basket history!!! <3<3<3)

- I’m super glad that Shigure and Rin scene didn’t go any further than it needed to... 👀 but the fact that Rin thought ‘Gure would be up for using her body as a bargaining chip says more about Shigure than Rin in my humble opinion...

Self-loathing? From Shigure? Unexpected. Empathy? For him? A little.

...Damn it.

🤣

I’m sorry. This scene is very gorgeous, well lit and beautiful and dramatic. But, I can’t not laugh at how early 00s gothic romance this is! But, I love it. It’s sweet and probably the first ‘raunchy’ scene we’ve gotten in this anime, ooo la! But, that kiss animation was kinda awkward for me, sorry. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I hate that Rin is AGAIN getting Outfit Appreciation Award when she’s literally killing herself with stress and worry but... amazing wardrobe as always. 5 stars.

Is it just me or does every zodiac member see Tohru as a parental figure or associate her with motherhood, except for Kyo?... 

*mentally notes essay of Tohru being the depiction of being a ‘merciful God’ compared to Akito being the decpiction of being a ‘vengeful God’*

Heartbreaking. 

but... WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE TO HAVE PARENTAL ISSUES?!

Also, Briana Palencia in this scene was amazing. Everyone is so, so good in this show! Dub and sub!!

...I totally forgot about this bit of Rin’s backstory. I love that they really highlighted how drastic the change was from happy family to an abusive household. Obviously, there must have been some cracks in the frame of the happy family and Rin as a child was inquisitive enough to see them. ...Only for her to be later punished for it. 

Kazuma!!! He and Tohru just be constantly saving these zodiac kids, man.

- Rin’s parents might just be at the same level as Kyo’s dad on the ‘WORST PARENTS OF THE ZODIAC CHILDREN’ list. Well... until later...

🥺💝

Beginning to understand why they’re so attached and bonded to each other now. <3

- Also, lowkey, Kagura’s mum is great! From her protecting Kagura from going to the beach house because of Akito to her taking Rin in without question! And she seemed completely cool with Kyo too! Yay to good parents in anime!!!

- The confession scene between Haru and Rin is so pure and blunt yet romantic and just... so them <3

- I’m not even gonna put any screencaps from the final scene with Akito because I find Akito is just disgusting. But, really? Pushing someone off the balcony?! I mean... I remember why Akito’s feelings for Rin are so strong and darkly intense but I still can’t excuse their actions. I kinda don’t like that they presented this very abusive and violent moment as... poetic? I mean, it matches Rin’s ‘style’, I guess? But... this is just someone going past the limit.

- And her landing like that on the conveniently pointy stone? I was surprised she didn’t damage her spine...

----------------------------------------------------------

I’m so happy I’m watching Fruits Basket again! This anime really is the best! And it DESERVEDLY won Best Drama at the CrunchyRoll Anime Awards! Yayyyyy! Sorry, if this ended on a weird note, I did enjoy this episode. Just a very dark one to return to 😅

See you... soon? Haha!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket 2020 #fruits basket season 2

[cardinaldaughter]

I love every member of the Mighty Nein; there’s not a single character I dislike, though admittedly I do have my favorites. But today I was thinking about how, for me, my realization of *how much* I loved each character individually came at such specific moments.

Jester: I loved Jester the first moment I saw her. But the first time I saw her was in a gif set on tumblr where she was talking about Tusk Love. I had no idea who Jester was, no idea who Laura Bailey was (though I was already deeply in love with Serana in Skyrim- I just didn’t know she was the voice actress). I saw several gif sets of Jester, and each one was hilarious. She’s the reason I watch this show. She’s what got me interested, and though I have since grown attached to other characters, I think deep down Jester will always have a special place in my heart as the catalyst for everything.

Beau: I liked Beau from the beginning. She was abrasive, cocky, self-righteous, and I liked that about her. And then I learned about Keyleth/Marisha hate and decided to like Beau on principle. Then Bowlgate happened and even though neither her or Caleb handled it great, I just... really appreciated how Marisha played her character so much. That was when Beau became my bae.

Nott: Listen, the moment Sam Riegel opened his mouth and that screechy-ass voice came out, I knew Nott was going to be a fucking treat. Then she said her name, and I was like “oh yeah. This little goblin girl is gonna fuck with me so great.” And then Nott described her relationship to Caleb- “I am the parent”- and I realized there was a well of yet-to-be-discovered-depth to this character and I was hooked.

Caleb: I actually was ambivalent to Caleb for a while. I didn’t dislike him but I didn’t get him. And then Yasha, Fjord, and Jester were captured. And Molly died. And Caleb was thrust into the forefront, and he struggled and had a panic attack after talking to Ophelia and he turned invisible in Lorenzo’s lair and was a mess of anxiety and adrenaline and rage, and his one-liner of “you should not have killed my cat.” Like. I AM Caleb, just without the story-specific-trauma and magic. That cat loving ball of anxiety who loves his friends but still feels so alone? Pot meet kettle. Fuck.

Fjord: When Uk’atoa took his powers, and he ran outside, panicked, alone, and feeling so small, this past episode, I just... wanted to hug my half-orc boy so bad I couldn’t stand it. The look on his face when that little bird illusion appeared in his hand? Oh boy. My emotions. I’ve always liked Fjord, but I never really connected with him. But seeing him at such a low point, seeing him revert back to his old accent and not being able to open up to anyone, knowing how that isolation feels-? Fjord, buddy. Come ‘ere. Let me love you.

Yasha: I have a hard time with Yasha because Ashley has been so absent. Her backstory really made me appreciate her, but the moment I would consider the one where she really got to me was when she shaved Caleb and they bonded. This big hulking woman, doing such a delicate task with a fucking broadsword? Her being so shy and timid with Caleb? Just. You precious angel. I love you.

Molly: “I’m going to sit over here and silently have a nervous breakdown over everything that happened.” I loved Molly from the moment Taliesin opened his mouth and mispronounced his own damn name. But knowing Molly could actually be bothered, be upset, be affected by things? That was where I really latched onto him. There was some depth to him that he’d expertly been keeping hidden, and I was so eager to see how what he would do when forced to face a world that demanded things from him that he didn’t want to give.

Caducues: Again, the moment Tal opened his mouth I was in love, but with many reservations. I struggled with Caduceus because I missed Molly. They are their own characters, distinctly so, but I wanted Molly back. I still want Molly back, in some ways. But I was eager to see what Taliesin was going to do with his new character, though I was admittedly not too thrilled with the idea of a firbolg. (I have since repented for that sin.) The moment that Caduceus really became a member of the M9 for me though, the moment I realized I was okay with him being there, was when he was almost left behind when the gang accidentally stole a pirate ship. I was so worried for Caducues, so worried about his safety, his health, his mental well-being. I realized I didn’t want to lose him, and was so relieved when he got on the boat. I was so glad he was okay, and it dawned on me that by desperately wanting him to stay, I had finally accepted him as a part of the group.

Not really sure why I said all this, other than just trying to fight off a bout of anxiety and thinking of the Mighty Nein is keeping my brain occupied. Also the formatting on mobile is wonky and stupid.

#critical role

[elizadoolittlethings]

“He’s not prudish. But seeing your dad naked is a lot for a lad to take.”

RG to The Guardian {x}

Rupert Graves’s eldest son got a nasty shock recently when he went on a school trip to see the 1987 Merchant Ivory adaptation of EM Forster’s gay love story Maurice. “He didn’t know I was in it,” the actor says over a morning cappuccino in a north London brasserie. “He went, ‘Argh! No way!’ and ran out.” He actually fled the cinema? “Yeah. ‘I can’t watch my dad naked on screen in front of all my mates. Can’t do it.’” He might also wish to steer clear of A Room with a View, which his father made with the same team two years earlier — his film debut, in fact — and in which he is seen throwing off his clothes to cavort in the lake and scamper through the undergrowth. “He’s not prudish. But seeing your dad naked is a lot for a lad to take.”

Some people would be positively thrilled at the prospect of a naked Rupert Graves: his devoted fans, the GravesDiggers, for example, or Mark Gatiss, screenwriter and star of Sherlock, in which Graves plays Inspector Lestrade. “I’ve had a crush on Rupert Graves since I was 14,” Gatiss admitted in 2014, then added: “Who hasn’t?” Graves, 56, who is today wearing round-framed glasses and a bedhead of salt-and-pepper hair, keeps his kit on in his new film, Horrible Histories the Movie: Rotten Romans, a big-screen version of the popular CBBC franchise which comes on like Monty Python Jr. He plays a centurion whose unexpected pauses keep wrong-footing his underlings. Thinking he is telling them to attack, they gather up their weapons in preparation, when what he has really said, if they’d only waited, is: “‘We attack!’ … would be the words of a rash man.” There’s nothing here to embarrass any of Graves’s five children, give or take the rap he delivers on horseback (sample line: “I’ve got 99 problems but a bridge ain’t one”).

He shrugs when I ask what the secret is to playing comedy. “I haven’t really done any. It’s stylised reality, isn’t it? Picking out bits and exaggerating them. But it’s got to be true.” Of course, he’s been funny in films before. He was superb as the lodger romantically involved with his landlady and her daughter in Intimate Relations. There was that bit, I remind him, where he wanted to accuse Julie Walters’s character of being a hypocrite but he couldn’t think of the word so he ended up shouting: “You’re a hippo!” He smiles back at me blankly. He doesn’t remember it. And last year he was in Swimming With Men, a kind of underwater Full Monty. “Yeah but I wasn’t playing an insane centurion doing a rap,” he laughs. “OK, I was an insane guy with a nose-clip on doing synchronised swimming, but it’s not quite the same.”

If there has been any pigeonholing, it came at the start of his career, when his performances in those Merchant Ivory films, as well as in two by Charles Sturridge, Where Angels Fear to Tread (Forster again) and A Handful of Dust(Waugh), encouraged misconceptions about his background. His name only sealed the deal. “Do you know what? Genuinely, it helps in this business being called Rupert. I’ve sniffed that attitude in acting: the Oxbridge thing. Making movies isn’t a cheap exercise. You need money and the knock-on from that is the industry is populated by a lot of posh people. It’s very hard to break into if you’re not middle class and privately educated.” Or if you don’t have a name that suggests you are. But if being called Rupert boosted his chances, it was a blight on his early years. “I hated it as a kid. I really wished I was called Pete.” Were there any significant Petes in his life? “Only Peter Purves on Blue Peter. Rupert is a ridiculous name in 1970s Weston-super-Mare. Ridiculous! It’s like being called Basil.”

Graves speaks in short bursts and clipped sentences as though he’s slightly out of breath, but he is at his most fluid when conjuring up the landscape of his youth. “It was one of these strange and dying seaside towns where the package holiday had killed off most of the trade, so the hotels had to lower their prices. It was the end of a line. A decaying, Thatcherite, druggy sort of place with no investment and no hope. I was always being chased by skinheads. It had some peculiar qualities, being by the sea and near Cheddar, some beautiful land. And it was blasted by the weather, which comes up the Bristol Channel and thumps Weston first. As a kid, it was great to hide behind the buildings as waves would smack them. The weather was physical and exciting. It gave the town character.”

At school, he was dreadfully shy and suffered from a stammer, but was also an incorrigible show-off. “I was hyper. My shyness meant I overcompensated, just to get anything out of my mouth at all. I had to summon up so much courage to even speak and then I got carried away because I’d mustered all that energy.” He went to a speech therapist to overcome the stammer and it was she who spotted his acting potential. Turns with the local operatic society followed; he also performed at the end of the pier, miming to songs and delivering Victorian comic monologues. What did he get out of it? “The warmth of the approval.” He found himself an agent from the back of the Stage (“I don’t even think we met”) and took on bits and bobs of TV work while still at school, including his turn as a prefect — his first toff — in the spy series Return of the Saint.

He adored working with James Ivory. “He would say things like, ‘Put your pipe in upside down.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because it’s funny.’ He was right. It was funny. In a Magritte sort of way.” But people started cooling on the costume-drama craze at the end of the 1980s. “There was a backlash. I thought, ‘This is really unfair!’ I didn’t go to any fucking posh schools and I was getting lumped in with that.” The director Alan Parkerfamously derided the Merchant Ivory output as “the Laura Ashley school of film-making.” Graves scoffs. “That was horrible. Really stupid. Forster was actually trying to say something.”

But he was looking for a new direction around that time anyway. “The whole industry thought I was Posh Rupert and I wasn’t. I didn’t know people who lived in Fulham and Chelsea, I didn’t know what they thought or what they ate for breakfast.” He reacted by taking on parts which were worlds away from parasols and linen trousers. The most notable was Open Fire, a 1994 TV film written and directed by Paul Greengrass, in which Graves was ferocious and banshee-like, all nails and hair and heels, as the real-life cross-dressing criminal David Martin. He also played a laddish motorcycle courier reunited with a transgender school pal in Different for Girls. It was theatre that really excited him, though, and still does. “You don’t tend to get typecast in theatre.” He was in Torch Song Trilogy with Anthony Sher, the Broadway run of Patrick Marber’s Closer, Pinter’s The Caretaker with Michael Gambon. When I ask whether there is any screen work that he would like people to catch up with, he says: “I can think of plays.” But they’re gone. “Argh! I know. That’s the beauty of it. And the pain.”

He thinks he could have been a bigger star if he’d worked at that side of things. “I’m just not ambitious in a career-building way. I’m not good at being polite to the right people. I’m not strategically engaged.” He can’t think when he last did something that would count as networking. “People do it. But I never did. I find it a bit grubby. I can see the benefits. I’ve been lucky that I can keep afloat and not be either too hassled on the street or have to do any of the business side of things, which I’m shit at.” Afloat is an understatement: he has excelled in some of Sally Wainwright’s best work (as a dodgy barrister in the first series of Scott & Bailey and as Derek Jacobi’s long-lost son in the third Last Tango in Halifax), and appeared on stage in the acclaimed season of Pinter’s short plays at the start of this year. He will soon be seen as Mr Weston in a starry new film of Jane Austen’s Emma, alongside Anya Taylor-Joy, Johnny Flynn, Bill Nighy and Miranda Hart.

Throughout our conversation, he has been charming company while also giving the impression of a runner on the starting blocks, poised to scarper the second he hears the pistol. Once we’ve wrapped up, he rises to his feet quickly and knocks a knife off the table, catching it before it hits the floor. “That’s the thing about getting old,” he says, returning the cutlery to its place. “I’ve become a dropper. I’m always dropping things.” Is he a forgetter yet? “Oh yeah. But I’ve always been a forgetter. Never remember names. Not even in scripts.” And there I was expecting you to recall a line of dialogue from nearly 25 years ago, I say. He laughs and makes a noise I’ve never heard before — “Nyyyyyyr! Nyyyyyyr!” — and then — on your marks, get set — he’s gone.

#RG #rupert graves #quotes I like #the man who made me like men #all things MG #so #i didn't want to post the whole #interview #but #well #i never get the chance #to post #from the same interview #with the net playing havoc #and #i need this #in my blog #the whole chat #so that's it #gravesdigiggers #is mentioned!! #:)