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luvmyoui · 9 months

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five - good?

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gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex

word count: 1,443

a/n: SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN A WHILE I WS WORKING ON PT2 FOR HER FAV AND IVE JS BEEN REALLY BUSY😞😞

“mina, you actually can’t keep doing this. not only are you sleeping around, but you're bringing these girls to our dorm. just imagine what could happen if it got out that you were sleeping around and that you had a dick.” nayeon said the moment mina stepped foot out of her room.

“okay, okay, this was the last time.” mina waved her off as she went to open the fridge

“you say that everytime, I'm serious about this. It has to stop.” nayeon said with a groan.

“no more, got it.” mina said while taking out the leftovers that remained in the fridge. It was too early for her to say anything in disagreement.

“i'm gonna hold you to this.” nayeon said with a pointed glare.

mina hummed in response but the next thing that left nayeon's mouth made her freeze up. “I hope you were responsible enough to have taken precautions, having a child would ruin us.”

“w- what, o-of course i um i obviously wouldn't have any.” mina stuttered out.

she didn't want it out anywhere that she had a kid, her whole career would be over if the news got out. nayeon sent her a questioning gaze wondering why she suddenly froze up. mina usually never froze up like this. mina didn't say anything to explain her sudden change of demeanor and simply walked back to her room. she could eat in there for today.

she set the food down on her desk and sat down on her gaming chair. no matter how much mina had changed, her obsession with video games was something that never would. she opened minecraft and scrolled all the way down to her first few worlds. her cursor hovered over the one named ‘dream house w y/n’.

reminiscing the time when she made it and showed you it with a smile spread across her face brought sadness to her. she missed you but she hated you. in her eyes she treated you amazing and still did. it wasn't like she had disappeared, she sent you money monthly and sometimes she would even send gifts. she thought that she was fulfilling her role as a parent pretty well.

mina often thought of messaging you, asking for updates on isla. the hesitance would hit while her thumb was hovering over the send button. her ego not allowing her to talk to you after the way you had ended things.

sixth harmony, the group that was formed after the time you spent on x factor. you had sadly lost on the show but it seemed like that was for the better. after being eliminated, simon cowell had signed you under his company saying that he saw the potential in all of you. simon taking the risk with you and the girls had only ended up paying off, your fame skyrocketing.

your debut single miss movin’ on being a huge hit, your group name being known nationally. with time the fame of sixth harmony only grew and grew. though you had finally achieved your dream of becoming a famous singer it seemed as if the hole in your heart never filled. you thought that maybe doing this would make you feel better about all that had happened. (spoiler alert: it didn't!)

being a singer wasn't easy either, the paparazzi were insane. you couldn't leave your house with isla in fear that you being a mother would be leaked. It was much harder to spend time with your daughter with your busy schedule. you ended up having to tell your company that you had a daughter, so you could bring her to the studio.

seeing simon as someone you were close to you revealed the information to him and to say he was upset was an understatement. you being a teen mom changed everything, this could not get out. due to the fact that sixth harmony was very famous, you being one of the fan favorites, he could not do anything, they needed you.

you honestly considered yourself lucky to have been gifted with such an amazing daughter. even when introduced to the new environment isla barely fussed. In fact she quickly started to look forward to going with you to places, being able to see her favorite aunt dinah. although having been with camila for more time she for some reason changed her favorite to dinah. you were ecstatic that your daughter both adored and was adored by your bandmates.

it had now been 3 years since you debuted and two years since mina had left you. the thought left a bitter taste on your tongue, two years since she left you with a broken heart.

you stepped out of your apartment (which mina was still filling the rent for) to go down and check for mail. you were stopped at your door by a box though, you picked it up and brought it back into your room. you took the box to a kitchen and used a knife to cut through the tape, you checked the address and noticed it was from korea. you immediately knew who it was from.

Inside resided a thick white envelope on top of a sweatshirt. your eyes widened as you picked up the envelope, feeling how thick it was, filled with without a doubt hundred dollar bills. you didn't know why she continued to do this, you knew that she knew you were a singer. still, mina never failed to send a monthly allowance and gifts.

after taking out the envelope you took out a sweatshirt, and once you unfolded it your jaw dropped. in a recent interview you had mentioned that your favorite expensive brand was prada. in your hands right now was a prada sweatshirt, one that you knew cost over a thousand dollars.

you made sure to use that sweatshirt to its full extent.

you were currently holding a small party at your home for isla, as it was her birthday. a ring at your door had caused you to momentarily put her in lauren’s lap as you went to answer it. standing there was a delivery man who was asking for your signature. you went to sign it, confused on what it could've been, you didnt remember ordering anything.

the man asked if you wanted him to put the package inside as it was heavy and you kindly accepted. after he left, you got a knife to open the package, it was huge. It was almost the same height as isla. when you opened the package your eyes widened and you called isla over.

“hey baby, you got a gift.” you softly said squatted down as she smushed her face into yours.

at the mention of a present, she immediately pulled away and tried to peep into the box.

“weally?! whos it fwom?” isla questioned, not being able to pronounce her r’s correctly.

“It's from your other mom.” at the mention of her isla’s face dropped.

“why cant mommy come and see me? why doesn't she wanna see me?” isla said her bottom lip wobbling.

“baby, it’s not that she doesnt wanna see you, she's just really busy working. she has to work hard to provide for us, she misses you so much!” you said trying your best to make sure isla didn’t cry on her birthday.

“c’mon, don't you wanna drive around this super cool car?” dinah intervened, sensing that isla would cry.

the girls had come over along with isla, and had seen the whole interaction. isla’s mood immediately went up at the mention of riding in the car. she ran over to dinah and reached her hands up, gesturing that she wanted to be picked up. dinah reached down and picked isla up, isla now finally getting a look at the present in full. it was a pink toy rzr 900.

although everyone's mood had been lifted heavily, camila’s stayed down. a frown etched onto her face. she understood that mina was still isla’s parent but you referring to her in a positive way didn't sit right with her. camila was there with you through everything mina had put you through, and camila hated mina.

“mina what the fuck?!” nayeon shouted as she burst into mina’s room.

startled by the noise, mina flinched hard and accidentally hit a piglin in minecraft.

“what the fuck?!” mina shouted in response, now being attacked by all of the piglins in her vicinity.

“check your fucking phone.” nayeon said in a scarily calm voice.

mina obliged and the second she picked the device up her eyes widened.

“fuck.”

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mazes-and-the-madness · 10 months

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IN BETWEEN: A Camren Analysis

I. Introduction

Nearly two years after she released her debut EP PRELUDE in 2021, Lauren Jauregui brings us a second one: In Between. She explores a variety of themes, some of which were also on PRELUDE (i.e. relationships, personal growth, her emotions). Without further ado, here’s my Camren analysis of In Between. As always, there’s the disclaimer that I’m not saying certain songs are definitely 100 percent about Camila: just that if they are, here’s a plausible explanation as to why. Oh, and Lauren, if you happen to come across this, just keep scrolling - absolutely nothing to see here.

II. Track-by-Track Analysis

1. In Between

Much like she did with Colors on PRELUDE, Lauren opens with a piece that’s part song, part spoken word. The title track In Between is about self-reflection, growing as a person, and ascending to one’s higher self. Lauren says, “love me in the in between… for me and the future we,” which could refer to becoming a better person for not only herself, but also a future romantic partner. “A dream that comes to tell me of the path that lies ahead // the things that I must leave behind instead of me for dead” could refer to leaving behind her immature past self, or a toxic partner, for her to reach her full potential. Lauren also mentions being “hung up on all the potential instead of the truth.” Even if the relationship was good at one point, this is no longer the case. It’s too far gone, and I hate to say it, but this could be about Camren. A key message of In Between is that no matter how much healing you’ve done, there’s always more self-discovery to do. When Lauren says, “I wade in the waters of the in between // until I’m born again, anew and renewed,” this is yet another parallel to PRELUDE, specifically the cover art where her face is ever so slightly lifted from the water. You know how the one thing everyone remembers from science class is, “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?” The English literature (and songwriting) equivalent is “water = rebirth.”

Other Thoughts:

Can we take a second to appreciate how “a dream that comes to tell me of the path that lies ahead // the things that I must leave behind instead of me for dead” is written in perfect iambic heptameter? If you have no idea what that means, don’t worry about it - just my inner English professor nerding out about Shakespearean poetic structures.

I know we’re all mad at Taylor Swift right now (and if you’re not, you should be), but “meet me in the in between” is giving “meet me at midnight.”

2. Em(oceans)

This song summarized in one sentence: Lauren feels too much, and wishes that she didn’t because her heightened sense of empathy enables people to take advantage of her. Her plea of “do you even notice? (are you even noticing all this emotion?)” could be directed at a partner, specifically Camila. The lyric “I never know what to say // so I try to push it away” is interesting because it alludes to communication issues from Lauren’s side. Communication has historically been a major obstacle for Camren, but the problems usually seem to stem from Camila’s side, as we know from Lauren songs like Expectations, Let Me Know, NADA, and the unreleased XO (I Don’t Miss You). Em(oceans) directly parallels other songs on the EP, specifically In Between and Trust Issues which also allude to other people using Lauren for their own ulterior motives.

3. All in My Feelings

This song reads very much like it takes place after Camila left Fifth Harmony (and by extension, Lauren). Camila now has more self-respect, and will no longer drop everything just because Lauren wants her to. Lauren expresses frustration that Camila is ignoring her, saying, “I just wanted to have sex // I’m too used to getting my way now.” By doing so, Lauren confirms what Camila writes about her in My Oh My (“they say he likes a good time,” “insatiable habits,” “he’s only here for one thing”). While Camila was previously quick to give in to Lauren’s demands, now she’s moved on and this is no longer the case.

One interesting lyric is “this might be some past life shit, thе way you got me waitin' 'round for ya // to answer me whenever you do you ya, the upper hand was always mine.” The term “past life” has a clever double meaning: Lauren could be saying that she and Camila’s connection means they were together in a past life, OR that she’s now paying for how poorly she treated Camila all those years ago. Plus, we know from both of their songs that Lauren had the upper hand over Camila (She Loves Control, This Love, Señorita, Back to Me, Sorry). Lauren knows her past behavior is no longer going to fly, as she worries, “I'm afraid (oh, I'm afraid) of what it could mean when I've lost the control and I don't want it to mean anythin.' ” This is a good time to remember that Camila literally has a song called She Loves Control about how much of a control freak Lauren is.

Lauren also says, “I like my wall up to keep from fallin', keep from fallin' // keep my walls up to keep from fallin', can't be fallin.' ” As I’ve stated in previous analyses, Lauren has written multiple songs about her struggles to open up to others (On Guard, Trust Issues), and Camila has written about desperately wanting her partner to do exactly that (Inside Out, In the Dark, Shameless, Boys Don't Cry). Lauren ends All in My Feelings with, “now he answers my texts as I'm writing a song about him // man, fuck that dude.” I don’t know about you all, but I laughed out loud when I first heard this. While she seems to be talking about a man, I wouldn’t be surprised if this song is actually about Camila, who has used he/him pronouns to describe Lauren in multiple songs (most notably, Havana and My Oh My.)

Other Thoughts:

This song also parallels Em(oceans), specifically the idea of feeling too much and wanting to push these thoughts aside. This is most apparent with the lyrics “uh, trust me, I'd like to turn off my feelings // why the fuck am I feelin' any type of feeling?” and “anyway, anyway // usually I run away, run away.”

4. The One

Along with All in My Feelings and Always Love, The One is one of the most Camila-coded songs on the EP. The first verse is about an on-off relationship, apparent by the lyric “been here a few times, don't know what I'm fightin' for anymore.” Camren is THE on-off relationship, as we know from songs like This Love, Señorita, Back to Me, Sorry, and the unreleased Don’t Need This (I’ll stop there before listing out their entire discographies). In The One, Lauren questions her partner’s commitment to her, doubting that their actions match their words. She says, “you say that I’m the one, yeah yeah // so show me that you love me, yeah yeah.” Camila has written multiple songs about how Lauren is the only one for her (Anyone, Taxi, Easy, and arguably, First Man). Lauren is unimpressed by her partner’s wealth, saying, “don’t need your money, nah nah // that ain’t the way you keep me, my love.” No shade, just facts: as the most commercially successful member of Fifth Harmony, Camila is wealthier than Lauren, boasting a net worth of nearly $20 million vs. $4 million. Plus, Camila totally seems like the type to spoil her girlfriends with all her money. Lauren also questions, “why you gotta be insecure? ... I can’t really do this no more if every time I speak, you take it that I’m starting war.” Camila has bared her insecurities in several songs, including Easy, psychofreak, No Doubt, and Hasta Los Dientes. Until Camila can prove her commitment to Lauren, Lauren scoffs, “you can keep your money, yeah yeah // I’m doin’ just fine on my own.”

5. Trust Issues

At the request of @/missmebaby2017, I first analyzed this song when Lauren officially released it in March of this year. As I said back then, Trust Issues fits right in with other songs we've gotten from both girls about Lauren’s struggle to open up and the volatile, on-off nature of their relationship. As a result, it makes sense that Lauren would have “trust issues” before trying again with Camila, or starting a new relationship with anyone else. Now that we have the context of the full EP, we also see that Trust Issues fits thematically with songs like In Between, Em(oceans), and All in My Feelings.

6. Always Love

Lauren first performed this song in July 2019, shortly after Camila tweeted “for me, it was always going to be about love.” Always Love is about a relationship that’s long gone, but you still have love for the other person. Like All in My Feelings, this song could take place after Camila first left Fifth Harmony to pursue a solo career. The lyric “nobody talks about walking away when there’s still love // feeling so far after being so close is a mindfuck” would fit with this theory, since the Havana music video hints that this breakup was amicable. The on-off themes surface once again as Lauren reflects, “even though we didn’t work, it’s always love, always love // and even though we hurt each other more than once, it was love, always love.” As for “for all those times that we locked eyes // when I was yours and you were mine,” there are tons of compilations of “Camren staring at each other” on YouTube and TikTok. If “intense eye contact” was an Olympic sport, they’d take home more gold medals than Michael Phelps. But my favorite lyric in the whole song is, “you helped me grow into me, so I couldn’t help but change.” Camila was there for Lauren during a highly formative period in her life, her mid-to-late adolescent years in the band. Because of Camila, Lauren could no longer deny her sexuality and finally accepted who she really was, giving so many of her fans the courage to do the same (myself included). Overall, Always Love is very much giving “sapphic first love” vibes, and I will never not cry when listening to this song.

7. Wolves (ft. Ty Dolla $ign and RUSS)

This song details all three artists’ struggles in the music industry. Because there’s so much to unpack here, I’ll do more of a close reading, line-by-line analysis with this one.

“I've been runnin' with the wolves and I made it alright

Searchin' for my purpose and I'm learnin'

That we don't really get a lot of time

So I've got to go and get mine while I'm alive

Yeah, I'll be runnin' with the wolves all through the night”

Lauren started in the music industry at age 16. She’s now stayed in it for over ten years and done a lot of learning, growing up, and self-discovery in the process. The word choice of “wolves” is rather pointed; I mean, she doesn’t say “runnin’ with the butterflies.” The wolves are the cutthroat music industry executives who don’t care about the artists and will exploit, abuse, and overwork them to rake in as much money as possible. Remember Lauren’s advice for young people aspiring to a music career? “Read your contracts.” All artists have an expiration date, especially women and those from manufactured bands. As a member of both groups, Lauren has to work extra hard to make the most of her time in the spotlight for as long as the wolves allow her to do so.

Now we get to Ty Dolla $ign’s part:

“I lost so many to the system // only two ways out, dead or in prison” … “I know there’s gotta be a better way // out here runnin’ with the wolves tryna get away”

The music industry often exploits newly signed artists, especially those from working-class backgrounds. As I said in my analysis of Familia, this was the case for nearly all the Fifth Harmony girls. Simon Cowell was able to get them to sign those unjust, restrictive, inhumane recording contracts because he knew it was practically their only chance at a better life.

“clock tickin', plot and stop bitchin' (uh, oh yeah) // lot of fake stars, but I ain't 'bout to stop wishin' … every time my gut talks, I try to just listen ”

This lyric goes back to artists having a shelf life, and also includes some clever wordplay. We all know the idea of wishing on a star to make your dreams come true, but here Ty means that a lot of artists aren’t “real” with their fans because they’re heavily manufactured by the industry for (what else?) financial gain. Still, he refuses to let this stop him from making the most of this opportunity and striving to be an artist on his own terms.

“a millionaire on hamster wheels, I'm hopin' that this can't be real”

Even for those lucky artists that become super wealthy doing what they love, they may be trapped because of these brutal contracts. The word choice of “hamster wheels” is especially telling: artists are hustling all the time, but ultimately remain stuck in the same place.

That brings us to RUSS’ part:

“I'm scraped up, got some scratches, got some war wounds

I'm tryna reach the people as if I ain't 'bout to tour soon

I might need a therapist, maybe a support group

Yeah, I went from dorm rooms to courtrooms to board rooms, ah”

The industry hurts artists both mentally and physically. “Reach the people” could mean multiple things, such as artists helping others through their music or making them aware of the harsh behind-the-scenes reality. The mention of touring could refer to artists’ grueling schedules often determined by industry executives. Members of Fifth Harmony and One Direction have spoken about how the nonstop album-tour-album-tour cycles were harmful to their physical and mental health. For example, Niall Horan wasn’t even allowed to get much-needed knee surgery while he was on tour, and Ally Brooke writes in her 2020 memoir Finding Your Harmony that she only took one or two sick days during her entire time in the band (2012-2016). Today, artists are more comfortable speaking about mental health issues, like Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus declaring that they’re no longer going to be touring as part of their careers. Finally, why is Lauren also singing the “dorm room” part when she’s never even been to college? I’m sure it’s not that deep; I just find it funny.

Now we’re back to Lauren with the outro.

“runnin', runnin', we keep runnin', runnin', runnin' ”

Although this line of work is by no means easy, all three artists stick with it and continue breaking their backs to keep the wolves happy. That is, until the wolves discard the artists for fresh meat, thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse and exploitation in the music industry.

III. Conclusion

Lauren, you’ve done it again. In Between is thoughtful, reflective, and self-aware, and you’ve proven your growth as an artist from not only your Fifth Harmony days, but also throughout your solo career. Though I loved both of your EPs, I have to ask: when are we getting your debut album? I know there’s probably all sorts of behind-the-scenes stuff we’ll never know; it just feels like we’ve been waiting forever. Either way, as long as I keep vibing with your music, I will continue to support you as an artist whatever you decide.

If anyone has questions or comments on anything I’ve said, my asks are always open (I trust you all to keep things civil). And if you haven’t already read my analyses for PRELUDE and Familia, what are you doing? No seriously, I’d encourage you to do that as well. I’ll be back for the next major music release from either Lauren or Camila, but until then, stream In Between.

Final Rating: 7/10

Final Ranking:

7. Trust Issues

6. Em(oceans)

5. In Between

4. Wolves

3. The One

2. Always Love

1. All in My Feelings

#lauren jauregui #in between #camila cabello #camren #song analysis #lyrical analysis #fifth harmony #the industry

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