It's okay if you experimented with gender and realized you were cis.
It's okay if you experimented with your sexuality and realized you were straight.
It's okay if you experimented with gender expression and decided to lean more into your expected gender expression.
It's okay if you try things and find that you're most comfortable with what you had before. That's why it's called experimenting.
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Okay...
Listen.
Wednesday takes after Gomez when it comes to romance and nobody can convince me otherwise. She is helplessly, deeply, terribly in love and would do absolutely anything for Enid and her inner monologue is just romantic trash but all that comes out her mouth is “Shut up.”
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Have u ever seen what aggression some queer femmes have towards butches, transmascs and trans men for expressing our pain about imposed, forced-on femininity?
I'm not invalidating your empowerment in reclaiming your own femininity. I myself have done that too btw, I just have intense pain from a lifetime of expectations to be round-edged, babyfaced and docile by cishet men and how they always bitch and whine about ppl like me existing and becoming "unfuckable" to them.
I love dangerous, wild femininity. I wear femininity like an elegant social armor. It's my deadly venom, it's my fangs and it's my claws. It's the claws of Lilith pushed under the surface, the rage of the drowned and forbidden.
To me this reclaimed femininity is defined by my own terms, not at odds with my gender-transgressiveness.
Why is femininity like armor to me?
Because for anyone who isn't a conventionally attractive cishet man, masculinity doesn't protect us at all. It makes people see us as clumsy, vulnerable and pathethic, while at the same time perverted and threatening. Masculinity is really soft and vulnerable for me to express bcs I'm transmasc, - it's where I invite the scorn of society for breaking out of line as a "woman". It's where I lose the protection and emotional support of the cisnormatively-tradfemme club.
People don't want to be cruel to me if I'm beautiful. Bcs my cruelty back, if I am beautiful, in the feminine elegant sense, will hurt and humiliate worse. I will shred you to pieces and wipe the floor with them.
That's the power of femininity, to dominate and to avoid being dominated, when you're assumed or expected to be a cis woman. People seen as queer / gender-transgressive women are without that protective cover. It's scary as hell.
I'm also intensely aware that I can't meet a certain standard of femininity even if I try, that femme cis women always have the ability to stab me with that painful, othering humiliation of "too clumsy and undesirable, so therefore you're hardly a person and I don't need to have any regard for your emotions or personhood".
Masculinity, for me, is a territory of softness and self-love. It's so, so scary to be masculine because I am without cover, - and in a patriarchal world masculinity is seen as inherently perverted and sexually aggressive, too. The more multiply marginalized an man is, the deadlier that assumption is.
Masculinity, to me, is soft and loving, but hiding under the fear of being seen as an emotionless threatening meatwall. It's not about superiority to femininity bcs as masculine, I actually feel softer, without my armor.
Transmasc people haven't seen a day of navigating masculinity the same as cis men have. For cis men, masculinity is imposed on them and expected of them, - whereas femininity is what invites the scorn and policing from others. For cis men, masculinity can be the social armor.
For transmascs it's the contrary because our masculinity is seen as a transgression against the patriarchy that doesn't see us as men at all. Our experiences are different from those of cis men and saying that isn't invalidating of us being men. Bcs trans people don't need cis people's "model" or "permission" to be who we are.
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Ok!
So I have recently discovered I’m Polyamorous!
I had the thought before, but due to insecurities and my own personal problems I dropped it!
Now that I’m happy, healthy, and confident
I’m definitely polyam! I have SO MUCH LOVE and affection to give!!
And my dom wants us to get a girlfriend to share 🥰🥰🥰
Things are all looking up and bright for me and I’m excited to learn more about this new self discovery
(Not in colored text cuz this is important)
Ok to reblog
This is for lesbians and other sapphic folx
✨cismen•minors DNI✨
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