The reason why I am so adamant about self-care, self-kindness and compassion for oneself is because I know denying love to myself is one of my biggest issues, and something that caused a big part of my mental illness. And as I observe people around me, I found who I learned this behavior from and how common it is to hate yourself and think you are undeserving of being loved and taken care of especially from yourself.
I asked someone for a glass of water today. I know it doesn’t seem like a major achievement, but this is the first time in years I can really remember asking someone for something so simple and ”easy”. And I felt so fucking guilty and shitty and useless but I did it. I let myself ask for something. My dad asked if he could help me in any other way during a meltdown and I did not lie and say I was fine and didn’t need anything else. I didn’t force myself to mask even when I was safe. He offered, and I asked and accepted, and that is not selfish. That is not selfish. I am not selfish. I’m recovering.
I've been learning how to heal myself and truly miss the life I had prior to the spiral. It's been a hard and lonely path. I had to learn to be okay with my loneliness. I had to learn to love myself for who I am. Learn Who I am. It's hard, I act as a mirror to the people I love.. or want to love. Shadow work is never easy. I never imagined it would turn out this way but I am grateful. I hope everyday to right my past wrongs. I hope everyone that has come across my path has healed or will heal from me.
I release your energy back to you and take back what is mine.
This June, I’ll be going to a country where wifi is hard to come by. I won’t be able to interact at all, or read/see any dms/notifications. I’ll still be posting, though it will all be automatic! Though know that I do appreciate every like/reblog/comment that you leave :)
It might still hurt from time to time, but I’m learning.
I used to give parts of myself away, give away all I had just to fill this void of emptiness. I wanted to be happy so I focused on other’s instead of myself. But in doing so, I ended up hurting myself. I told myself not to expect anything in return, but my subconsciousness hoped and yearned for all of it to be reciprocated someday. Obviously, with each failing relationship, it never was. I always blamed myself, because I was the one who gave away too much and I was the one who expected something. It was me, always. And even though I’ve grown and matured, that sentiment still remains the same. Yes, it was my fault, especially for going into something with such a selfish and fragile mind. But it was also my fault for never appreciating myself enough, for not caring for myself, for not loving myself. I expected it to come from others. And that’s where I failed myself. I was too fixated on other people to make me happy, when in reality the only person capable of doing that is me.
So even though I’ve moved on and learned. It’s still a process I’m teaching myself. Healing doesn’t happen in one day after all.
Just here to say, I may still be a depressed messed (I'm high and fuck it I'm leaving this typo lmfao) but I'm a fucking cute depressed mess lmfao. For the first time in 28 years I can say I actually love how I look right now.
starting to feel confident and loved as the person u are now and the person u will become, whoever that may be:
it doesn't necessarily mean letting going of the past and who u were then because it's still a part of u. it does however, means becoming at peace with the idea that what's done is done and sure, u can make amendments with it but it will never truly change because as we often say, what's done is done.
have a good rest of your morning/afternoon/day/night or whatever it is for u right now <3
i love u all, message me if u ever want to chat about anything from books to broken hearts, i am here<333333
When you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨💝 (If you've already gotten this before, then add 1 more thing you like!)
Ooooof, okay this is not going to be easy.
I enjoy my intelligence quite a bit.
I think I can make friends pretty well/be a good friend hopefully.
When I'm really committed to something I can usually see it through.
In the last few years I have come a far way in body positivity and finding myself pretty in general.
I have finally come to terms with and am unafraid of my sexuality.
maybe I wasn’t meant to have a partner. maybe I was meant to be alone. maybe my life lesson is to learn how to be alone… and be content with just myself. maybe this is how I learn to love myself and actually mean it.
Decided I’m going to take a turn and before the new year. Doing better and for me. Self care, self acceptance and my ultimate goal is self love. No room for negativity in 2022. I may have bad days but I’m going to do my best to let them help me grow not tear me apart.
Words. Words are not just words . Words can either break you or make you. Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you? Excuse me? Scratches and bruises fade, words are forever. Think back to when you were in high school, and that bitchy popular girl most likely named Brittany , commented on your weight in the lock room. Fast forward to present time, you and all your 30 year old mom friends are out summer shopping when you try on a top that shows a little more than your normal attire. Your friend of a friend ( probably named Karen ) whisperer how the top “doesn’t fit your body “ with a awkward smile. You are suddenly a 30 year old woman standing in a changing room feeling the same feelings as your 17 year old self standing in the lock room.