Sometimes I still get angry that I was always told having bare shoulders and shorts above the knee was shameful. That I was made to feel that men becoming sexually aroused was my fault because I was dressed “inappropriately”. That I wasn’t allowed to experiment with my personal style and individuality as a teen. That I wasn’t allowed to date or hang out with non-mormon teens. That I felt forced to conform to a conservative lifestyle I didn’t personally believe in because I didn’t want to risk losing my parents love. That I was told my sexuality was not my own.

I am angry that I was told to get an education that would help me raise children; and that when I said I wanted to be a doctor/nurse practitioner I was given the talk about a women’s roll in the home and that getting an advanced degree would be unfair to my husband and children. FYI: I didn’t listen to that speech. My non-mormon husband was my biggest supporter in finishing nursing school after we met and LOVES that I want to continue my education and become a nurse practitioner.

I am angry I have to hide my coffee maker and wine in my own house when my parents visit. I am angry my relatives think my marriage is somehow less then legal because it was a civil ceremony preformed by a non-mormon reverend.

Most of all, I am angry because while I am happier, more fulfilled, no longer judgmental, and no longer self-loathing for not being a perfect “Molly Mormon” like I was when I was a member of their church–my parents, brother, and extended family all think I am miserable. They pity me. They tell me I am not really happy, that I am being deceived by the Devil and when I come to my senses and see what I have done I will be miserable forever.

I know they are only saying what they have been programmed to say. I know that they are afraid because they have been programmed to believe that in order to be happy they must follow their leaders and all of the rules. I know they can’t comprehend anyone being happy outside of their church.

I still love them, I just do not love their church or what it does to people.

my younger (straight) brother and i were watching a show in which straight people were making an absolute MESS of things as usual and so without thinking i said “yo why can’t straight people just STOP this is actually horrific”

and he got offended ssjshahsksh

in a recent development i am completely in love with Utah

plz send good vibes, I just finished writing a letter to my family telling them I’m leaving the church they raised me in, and I’m going to email it to them tomorrow when I get home from work. I’m scared out of my mind, but it’s time.

wish i was in lockdown alone :):):)

Truth is some fucking bullshit. Not truth, no, but Truth. The Truth of Religion, the Truth of Morality, the Truth of Life, and on and on and on this “Truth” goes until it’s so deeply ingrained that everyone forgets that it isn’t truth.

Facts, safe facts, real ones that aren’t manipulated by people who want to display Truth. I like those. I will take those as truths.

Emotions, feeling, experiences, people sharing knowledge because they feel it is good and know it is real, in at least some little way. I feel those. I will take those truths.

Standards? Agendas? Religions, groups, companies? Go to hell. Your Truth is not my Truth, and despite how I hate it, among my truths there are my Truths.

Get a life. Things are subjective. I am my own person, living my own truth, and you do not get to tell me I am wrong, you do not get to feel sorry for me when I have chosen my truths and my Truths and I am happy with them. I will not force you to know my Truths, hell, I won’t mention them if you don’t ask me first.

There is Truth, the opinion, there is truth, the fact, and there is a difference. Keep your Truth to your own goddamn self, and don’t say my path is “scary” “wrong” or “dangerous” because you don’t agree with my decisions and views, my truths and Truths.