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#lee felix oneshot
httpdwaekki · 9 days
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sick days | l.f.
summmary: felix is feeling under the weather but luckily his angel is there to help him feel better.
wc: 2k
warnings: i know channie n lix don't live in the same dorm but for the sake of this story they do <3. descriptions of the flu and food, too many pet names, use of y/n. not proofread, lowercase intended.
a/n: okayyy, this is a request i was given a lil while ago (i'm so sorry this took so long) also wrote this in like 4 hours until three am so if the ending is weird that’s why but i’ll proofread it tomorrow. with that being said, i hope u enjoy, remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3
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(pictures not mine! credit to owners!)
you knew something was off, you couldn’t put your finger on it but you had a gut feeling. you had asked felix if everything was okay and he reassured you everything was fine. that was until a few days later he texted you letting you know he was feeling sick.
you had already called into work, letting them know you weren’t going to be in the office for a few days but you’ll do some work on your computer. you texted him once more, asking him what he needs but you didn’t receive a response.
assuming he’s probably resting you give his older counterpart a call. there was about three rings before he picks up, “hello?” an aussie voice fills your ears. “hi channie.” you smile. “y/n! hi, what can i do for you?” he asks.
“felix told me he wasn’t feeling well so i tried to text him to ask if he needed anything but he didn’t respond so i’m assuming he’s asleep. but i was calling so ask if you knew if he needed anything or if you guys need anything at the dorms.” you explain, placing him on speaker opening your notes app.
“oh! well i know lino’s making him some stew but i’m sure he could use some medicine and maybe some tea and something for electrolytes.” he lists off. “okay i can do that, do you guys need anything for the dorm?” you ask, typing out your list.
“no i think we’re good, thank you y/n, i appreciate it.” he smiles. “no problem channie, i’ll be there in a bit.” taking the phone off speaker, placing it back to your ear. “sounds good, drive safe.” you say your goodbyes, hanging up the phone.
you quickly put on your jacket, pulling your backpack on, then your work bag and grabbing your keys, walking out the door. you had packed a bag, planning on spending a few days at the dorms taking care of felix.
you quickly make your way to your car after locking your door. you grab everything felix may need from the store, making your way to the dorms. the drive to the dorms was quick, pulling into the driveway, grabbing all of your bags. you use your hip to close your car door as your hands are full, before walking up to the dorm.
you use your foot to tap the door, hoping someone inside hears. the door opens revealing a hoodie clad chan, giving you his signature smile, “hey, y/n.” he greets you before grabbing the bags. “ hi.” you smile back, quickly turning back, locking your car before following him inside.
you make your way into the kitchen, finding lino finishing up his kimchi-jjigae while chan places the bags on the counter. “hi lino.” you smile, giving him a small wave. “hi y/n, here to take care of yongbokkie?” he asks, stirring the steaming stew. you nod, “i’ll be right back, i’m gonna go put my stuff down and check on him.
you make your way down the hall, before reaching his closed door. you gently knock on the door, just incase he was still sleeping. “come in” you hear the familiar aussie voice, his voice impossibly deeper. you open the door, finding the usually sunny boy, looking pale and dreary.
“hi bubba, how are you feeling?” you ask, quickly putting down your bags next to the door before making your way to the bed. you sit down on the bed, brushing his hair out of his face. he clears his throat, “i’m okay.’ his voice hoarse.
your hand resting on his warm cheek, thumb brushing soothing circles on his cheek. “what’s going on jagi?” you ask. “channie hyung thinks it’s a cold or flu, i have a fever, congested, i keep coughing and sneezing and my head feels like it’s a balloon.” he explains, before he turns his head away from you, letting out a sneeze.
you hand him a tissue from the box sitting on his bedside table. “bless you bubba.” he blows his nose, placing the tissue in the bag next to him. “thank you, angel.” he gives you a small smile. you look at the table, finding an empty water bottle, tissues, and some crackers.
“have you taken some medicine?” you ask, running your hand through his hair. “lino hyung gave me some aspirin for my fever but we didn’t have any cold medicine.” he sniffles, closing his eyes, nuzzling his head against your hand slightly.
“okay bub, i picked you up some, so i’m gonna go grab you some medicine and i think minho is done with the stew so i’m gonna grab you a bowl too, alright?” you ask, hand still running through his hair. “mhm, thank you.” he mumbles. 
you leaned over placing a soft kiss to his warm forehead before pulling his blanket over him. you get up, grabbing the empty water bottle and crackers before making your way out of the room. you softly close the door behind you, walking back to the kitchen.
you place the crackers on the counter before filling up his blue bottle with ice and water. you start to put everything away, keeping the medicine and gatorade in a bag before pulling away the crackers. “here you go.” lino says, placing a bowl of the hot stew, with a spoon and some napkins next to you.
“ thank you minho.” you smile, placing the water bottle in the bag as well. “of course, there’s extra on the stove if you want some.” he says pointing towards the pot on the stove
. your heart warms at the older boy's gesture. “oh, thank you, you didn't have to.”
he waves you off “it’s the least i could do for you helping yongbokkie.” he smiles before making his way to the living room to join chan on the couch. you smile to yourself before collecting your materials, making your way back to your sick boy.
you carefully make your way down the hallway, knocking on the door once more, signaling your arrival. you carefully open the door, finding felix fast asleep, soft snores leaving his mouth. you quietly make your way into the room, closing the door once again.
you make your way to the side of his bed, placing the stew on the bedside table, sitting next to him once again. you place a gentle hand on his cheek, softly rubbing, waking him up. “hi angel,” you smile down at him. “you can go back to sleep in a bit but i got soup, medicine and water.” he nods understanding as he stretches a bit.
“sit up for me a bit.” he leans forward, coughing a bit. you rub his back, before you place pillows behind him to prop him up. “okay, lay back down baby.” he lays back, clearing his throat a bit. “comfortable?” he nods, giving you a small smile.
“good.” you smile, placing a kiss to his forehead before grabbing the still warm stew. you stir it slightly before taking a spoonful, blowing on the steaming liquid, bringing the spoon and bowl to felix. he opens his mouth, taking in the warm liquid, you pull the spoon back.
“good?” you ask, gathering another serving for him. he swallows the delicious food. “very good angel, thank you.” you smile, bringing the spoon back to him. “don’t thank me, thank minho.” you take the spoon again, repeating the process.
“no seriously, you dropped everything to come take care of me. i really appreciate that baby.” he smiles, placing an hand on your thigh. you place the spoon back in the bowl, leaning over, careful of the bowl of soup. you place a kiss to his cheek, “i’m your partner, it’s literally my job, you don’t have to thank me lix.” his cheeks redden slightly, small smile spreading across his lips.
you grab the spoon, repeating the same process until the stew is all gone. you hand him the napkin, watching him wipe his face before holding out the bowl for him to place the dirty material in. you set the bowl down before grabbing the gatorade and medicine. you place the medicine in his hand before opening the gatorade bottle.
he places the pills in his mouth before grabbing the cold bottle you held out to him. he takes down a few gulps of the cold liquid, before he struggles to breathe thanks to his congestion. “bubba, slow down,” you place your hand on his thigh as he finally pulls away. “breathe please, it’s not going anywhere.” you rub his thigh lightly.
“sorry.” he coughs slightly, causing you to take the bottle, before rubbing his back. “okay bubba, let it out.” the coughs slowly die down, his breathing becoming heavy as he tries to catch his breath. “okay, let’s lay you back down baby.” he nods, you put the cap back on, placing it back on the table.
you move a few of pillows, allowing him to lay back down. he scoots a little closer to you before laying down fully. “comfy?” he nods smiling, eyes closing slightly. “i’ll be back, i’m just gonna bring the dishes back into the kitchen, okay?” you ask, moving his two drinks to the edge of the table for him to have easy access. “okay, you’ll come back and cuddle right?” he asks, his boba eyes staring into yours, pleading you. you giggle, nodding, “yes, bub, i’ll come back and cuddle.” he smiles, happy with your answer before he nuzzles back into the soft mattress.
you give his arm a squeeze before getting up and grabbing the bowl, making your way back to the hallway. as you step out you run into jeongin. “oh!” slightly startled. “hi innie.” you smile. “hi noona, how is felix hyung?” he asks, pointing to the door. “he’s okay, he just ate and took medicine so he’s gonna sleep for a bit.” small smile still present on your lips.
“good, thank you for taking care of him.” you nod your head, “of course, i’d do anything for him.” your cheeks warming slightly. he smiles, “he’d do the same for you, you know.” you nod, cheeks becoming impossibly warmer. “i know, thank you innie.” he smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder before making his way to his room.
you make it back to the kitchen, quickly washing the bowl. “how’s lix doing?” an aussie voice behind you asks. you turn around, “he’s okay, he ate and i gave him some medicine so he’s gonna try to sleep now.” he nods, “thank you for taking care of him, we really appreciate it.”  you nod, smiling at the older man. “anytime channie, i’d do anything for him.”
he gives you a side hug, “we know.” he pulls away, making his way back to minho on the couch. you walk back to felix’s room for the final time, lightly knocking on the door. you enter, felix lifting his head, before settling back into his cocoon.
“y’know you don’t have to knock everytime, right?” he mumbles, face smooshed into his pillow. “i know but it’s your space, i don’t want to invade it.” you say, making your way to the other side of the bed. you get under the blankets, opening your arms to him. “you could never invade my space jagi, what’s mine is yours.”
he moves, melting into you, placing a kiss on top of your heart. “you realize you’re definitely getting sick right?” he asks, words slurred with sleep. you giggle, “yes lix i know,” you pause looking down at him, “but it’s worth it.” you lean down, placing a kiss to his sift hair.
“please make sure you take some vitamins.” he says, clearly fighting sleep. “i will angel, now go to sleep, you need rest,” you run fingers through his hair with one hand, rubbing his arm with the other. “mhm kay, lub you angel.” you smile, holding him close to you. “i love you too, lix.” placing one last kiss on his hair before he drifts off.
needless to say you definitely got sick a few days later, which resulted in a scolding from the sunshine boy himself. but he nursed you back to health, make sure you both were taking your vitamins to avoid getting sick again.
do not repost
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lixhours · 2 years
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Help me out (pt.2)
Pairing - Best friend!Lee Felix x Fem!Reader
Genre - Smut, Fluff
Word count - 8k words (I got carried away)
Warnings - Dom!Felix, Sub!Reader, absolute filth, language, Felix has a thing for y/n’s thighs, Reader being overly nervous, car sex, unprotected sex (stay safe y’all), oral (m receiving), fingering, voice kink, slight humiliation/degradation, Praising, light choking, orgasm denial, possessiveness, begging, hair pulling (lmk if I missed something).
A/n - So after two years it is here! It’s good to be back after a while TT , didn’t even plan to make it to two parts but oh well, thank “taste” for that :) I don’t know how to feel about this one but I hope you’ll enjoy this as much and I enjoyed writing this 🥹(also English isn’t my first language so sorry beforehand)
Part 1 ➾ here
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After that night you two have never spoken about it again, as if everything went back to normal. Only that… it didn’t for you.
A month already flew by so fast you didn’t have a chance to blink, the two of you didn’t even get the chance to be alone since then, still hanging out regularly in your group of friends. The thought of Felix just looking downright mean at you when you made a mess over his thigh , the way he had his way with you and gripped your hair locks couldn’t vanish out of your mind, leaving you desperate for more of him every night you tried to get off without the thought of your best friend popping all the time.
That’s why it didn’t go back to normal for you, once your eyes meet images of being under him kept flooding back into your mind, but instead of averting your gaze you seem to be locking eyes with him quite often. But the difference is that it seems as if he’s unbothered, already forgot about the incident and went back being your best friend.
On one side its good, because nothing changes between the two of you, you don’t seem to make things awkward and ruin things about your entire friendship, he’s still the sweet goofy caring Felix you always knew and loved. Oh but that other side… you just wish to throw the friendship out the window just this one time for him to ruin you all over again. You can’t remember the last time someone railed you this good.
Ugh, Y/n. Come back to your senses.
You snapped as you once realised where you are, even though the coffee shop didn’t have much customers and you had more time to yourself, doesn’t give you the right to just get horny over your best friend, you got a little ashamed over these thoughts.
What are you thinking about? You’re at work, focus!!
It seems that you finished eating your lunch a few minutes ago and you didn’t even notice, the cold leftovers of your omelette sandwich and cappuccino reduce your appetite as you feel full, thinking of taking one last bite before throwing it away. your mind is all over the place. You’re sure Felix put this aside a month ago like it should be and you should do exactly the same.
You stood up and went to the kitchen to put the plate and cup in the sink, throwing the leftovers in the bin next to it. You cleared your voice and adjusted your clothing, no more daydreaming, need to focus at work and set your mind into the right place, just like your best friend Felix does, he seems unaffected, you should too.
Just don’t think about it too much, easy right?
ఌఌఌఌఌఌ
“Do I really have to come? I’m so tired I’m absolutely exhausted from all the work and studying I just want to sink onto my couch, watch movies and eat food. If you want to, you can join me…” your voice trailed off.
To be honest, you don’t feel the need to party all night right now, especially when you’re still recovering from Felix and if he’d be there you don’t know if you’ll be on your right mind.
Minho sounded upset over the line, you really do miss and love your friends , it’s not like you’re avoiding them or Felix, you still talk to all of them over the phone and text everyday. Felix keeps checking up on you every day asking how have you been and if you need anything, this ball of sunshine made you feel a bit bad for rejecting his offers. Of course you miss him and his company.
“Come on, Y/n. It’s just a small gathering at our place, we really want to see you, let loose a little and have fun! You do deserve it , we’ll buy some drinks and snacks , good music! I promise you’ll have a good time just please come, for me at least?” Minho was pleading and it made it even harder to say no to him, how could you say no to him in general? He always knew how to convince you.
You signed and threw yourself on the couch, staring at the ceiling, it took you a few seconds and you only imagined Minho’s face lighting up with hope, you don’t want to disappoint. You hear the other boys screaming in the background whether you’ll come or not, you hear Chan loud and clear when he says “Let her know that if she won’t make it tonight, I’ll stop bringing her favourite brownies she always steals from our kitchen, She’ll be banned for eating those yummy goodies!!” Shoot not the brownies… you love eating them with coffee!!
The loud noises give away the planning of their “gathering” tonight, you could only sigh once again in defeat when you clear your voice and close your eyes “Fine!!!! I’ll make it to your place tonight, just… don’t hide the brownies!” You could practically hear Minho jumping victoriously over the other line , letting the boys know that you’ll make it and let someone know who could pick you up from your place so you wouldn’t have to call for a cab.
“Y/n, if I could I would probably squeeze you to death from my hug right now but we don’t want that, so just settle on that that we missed you and have your fun with us, it’s been a while” he sounded sincere and it made your heart warm, you don’t hear Minho acting like that ever so often and it only gives away the fact that you really didn’t see them much lately.
You let out a giggle over his comment and proceeded to answer “don’t worry, I’ll be there , just let me know when to be ready” you stood up from the couch and made your way to the bathroom , wanting to fill hot water in the bathtub to take care of yourself before you do your other routines and choose your outfit.
“9 pm tops, be ready by then. Felix will come over to pick you up”.
Felix.
It’s just Felix, why did his name made your heart thump like crazy? Why was Felix the one who will pick you up? Why can’t it be Hyunjin? Out of all names.
Relax.
It’s just a ride to their place, he’s your best friend and you missed him, your heart ached to see him. You took a deep breath and nodded even though Minho couldn’t see it “alright fine, tell him to text me when he’ll be outside”.
Minho and you shared your fair goodbye’s over the phone and hung up, putting your phone aside as you stripped from your clothes, entering the hot bath before sinking down.
You took another deep breath and closed your eyes as you felt your body sinking deeper and deeper into the hotness of the water, filling your bathroom in steamy aroma. you let yourself to relax your tense muscles for once and clear your head from everything.
You don’t know why did you even get these butterflies just from hearing his name, or thinking about him. It was just a one time thing, the mood was right, it felt right…
But it doesn’t change your friendship status, you’re still the best friends you are for each other, you miss and adore your sunshine. Yes, your nickname for him was Sunshine. Only that he proved to be far more than that last month in your very own bed.
You think you just need to let it go, yes the sex was absolutely amazing, you didn’t feel this euphoria for a very long time. But, maybe you just need to get laid and let out all the pent up sexual frustration instead of avoiding your best friend. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings or ruin it all for the both of you just because of your issue.
So Tonight, you need to change your mind set. You’re going to have fun with your friends and maybe even get lucky with someone else who isn’t your best friend.
You didn’t see Felix in a long time, maybe everything will go back to normal between the two of you like it used to be from your side. From his side it seems as he already forgot about everything and put that aside as it should be for you two. You’re both adults, it happens right? If Felix doesn’t make things weird then you should too.
At that thought, you finished taking your bath and stepped out. Now, you wrapped a towel around your figure and on your way to your room to choose what to wear, what to even begin with to make yourself ready.
You stood in front of your closet and stared at it for a few seconds. should you go casual? Or all the way sexy? You wanted to show yourself off tonight and get it going out there, let you feel things you didn’t feel a long while. Yet, you didn’t want to look like a try hard…
Fuck it.
You’re going to pop everyone eyes out.
You picked out your tight black dress with spaghetti straps that emphasised all your curves. Some black heels, not very high one’s. you thought about curling your hair but decided to keep it straight, you’ll definitely add some light make up just to make yourself glow. To sum it all up, you’ll definitely be ready by night time.
You played out some music in the background and started to get working.
ఌఌఌఌఌఌ
Stunning.
You looked at your figure through the mirror and you look stunning to say at least. Really simple and sexy , not too much and not way too much. You adjusted the skirt of the dress and stood on your heels, finishing applying the gloss lipstick and brushing your hair through your fingers. It’s been way too long since you got ready like that and you felt excited to get out there once again.
As you looked at your reflection for the past few minutes, you hear your phone buzzing lightly on the table, allowing you to process that someone is calling you. Your breath hitched and your heart raced as you read the name “Sunshine ☀️” spread across the screen. You didn’t even notice that it’s already night time, you hurried to pick up.“Hello, Lix?” Afraid your voice will betray you , you somehow managed to answer normally, picking up the first perfume you see to put on while holding the phone with your shoulder.
“Are you ready or am I gonna sit here waiting while you’re fashionably late?” You heard his deep voice through the line and you swear it wasn’t as deep as it was a month ago, is he going through puberty again? You smiled at his comment and proceeded to grab your tiny bag with you while turning off the lights and opening the door, you saw his car right at the parking lot.
“I’m right outside, dummy” you said and locked the door , putting your keys inside the bag and just standing there waiting for him to get out the car “are you just gonna sit there and be a terrible gentleman instead of greeting me?” You were sarcastic of course and managed to laugh it off right after, you somehow saw his big smile forming on his face as he got out of the car and stood up. you felt relieved to say at least that there wasn’t any tension and you both acted completely normal like it alway had been, maybe you overreacted after all.
But alas, you may need a reality check because the second he took a few steps towards you and came closer, you felt like air got knocked out of your lungs.
For the first time in your entire friendship, you had a loss of words for his appearance.
His blonde hair now gone, replaced with new coloured black locks. He wore a simple casual white T-shirt and a leather jacket on top, black ripped jeans that fit him nicely and white sneakers. what was really breathtaking was the way you locked eyes with him after observing his appearance. he smirked and looked down at you once you were close face to face and took your hand, he chuckled and bowed down before you.
“Oh my lady, I’m so sorry! Where are my manners?”
You didn’t even notice that he hung up the call and your phone still pressed to your ear, you felt embarrassed and your skin was burning hot, you managed to pull away the phone quickly and laugh lightly at his antics. you hit him playfully at the back of his head and managed to pull his hand that he’s holding and lead you both to the car, just walking casually hand in hand.
Felix just yelped in response and cried out at the hit, rubbed his head with the other hand in the process. “Oh, don’t be such a baby” you rolled your eyes and before you knew it you were randomly pulled in for an embrace which caught you off guard. It felt like you were inside cozy home walls, not feeling the night breeze as much as before, he wrapped his arm and covered you like something he needs to protect. you returned his hug and wrapped your arms around him too, hearing him sighing in peace. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating, you literally breathed him , his scent surrounding you.
“I missed you” he said and you smiled, tightening your arms around him, realising how much you missed him too and how bad you felt for avoiding any chance of meeting him while he has no idea why, you felt a bit stupid, but you’re here with him now and you need to fix it.
You pulled away from him and looked into his eyes once again, now a lot less nervous “I missed you too, I’m sorry I didn’t have much time to see you or the boys, I’ll make it up to you” you took his hand in yours once again and you both smiled brightly at each other.
“You better be, princess” you both reached for the car and he opened the door for you to get inside “ or else I’m gonna be stuck to your hip one way or another, I don’t care”.
You stuck your tongue out to him and sat down, he closed the door and went all the way around to get onto his seat as well. Once you’re both sat he started the car and searched to put on the address the boys gave him.
You had a questioning look on your face, you were confused for a moment “Lix.. what is this address? Aren’t we going to Minho’s place?” You asked as you looked at the screen on the car media, You heard Felix sucking in a deep breath before sheepishly looking at you “yeah well, about that…” he began and laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head, something here smells fishy and you looked at his face from up close wanting to hear an answer.
“Well, Minho thought you’d decline the offer once you’ll hear it won’t be at his place here close, so… we are driving off to Han’s, he’s organising and planning this party for a long time and he really wanted you to be there with us. That’s why I wanted to come and pick you up so you wouldn’t have to drive alone.. Surprise?” He looked at you wishing for a positive answer and by the expression on your face he didn’t know what to except.
You lean back in your seat and put two hands to cover your face before you speak up “not only the road to Han’s place is half an hour long, it isn’t a small gathering either?” You returned looking at him and he pleaded with his eyes while nodding his head, but before you could say anything further he started driving, ruining any chance of you escaping, his eyes now on the road as he chuckled to himself.
You sighed “What can I say? If I’m here might as well enjoy your guys company, I missed you all too much for me to be pissed” you laughed to yourself and instead of getting angry for being tricked, you just smiled and relaxed.
“Yes! Princess that’s the spirit, consider this as your punishment for overworking yourself lately” you blushed at the name he gave you, you always liked it when he called you that and didn’t give any mind about it, but now it seemed different, it made you warm inside.
“I guess you’re right…” you trailed off and looked at the outside of the window, it was open a bit so you closed it as the cold air gave you goosebumps, regretting not taking any jacket with you. As you kept looking at the view and the comfortable silence continued, you got hit with the realisation. It was a half an hour long drive with Felix alone in the car. You suddenly got these butterflies in your stomach and shifted in your seat, you turned to look at him and regretted the second you did so.
When did Felix driving started to seem so hot to you? The way he gripped the steering wheel with one hand that was decorated gently with his veins , the other one leaning against his window , his legs spread a bit and his jawline sharp, his new hair color didn’t help either. A few second ago you got chills from the cold, when did it get so hot in here?
Felix noticed you being quiet than usual and got curious because you always talked about random things when you had the chance.
“Everything okay , Princess?” Oh god the pet name made it much worse for your condition, all your thoughts from earlier flooding back to mind as you can’t help but think about the events that happened in your bed under him.
“Y-yeah sure, just hot a little .. can you open the window a bit?” Your voice almost betrays you as you speak.
“Didn’t you just close the window a few minutes ago?” Felix asked taking a quick glance at you and the way that you subconsciously pressed your thighs didn’t go unnoticed by him, averting his eyes now onto the closed window and back to the road. “You were literally shivering” he questioned you and you felt like it was getting even hotter, his low voice doesn’t help either.
“Well yeah, but I feel like the car keeps you warm enough inside so I’d rather the window just to be slightly open” you answered and Felix shrugged trying his best not to grin, doing as you said while you sighed in relief.
Felix knows that you’re talking bullshit.
He knows you well enough and can tell when you confidently tell the truth and when you’re lying. Just like when he stayed over a night at your house, the way you greedily rubbed your ass against his cock with no shame whatsoever when you thought he was asleep and the way you were stuttering in such a cute way when he asked you what were you doing exactly. Your lame excuse of a blanket matched the same energy with your window excuse.
You thought he was over what happened between the two of you? Hell no.
Nothing stayed the same way for him, all he could think about was how helplessly you submitted to him and how you trembled on his thigh while you asked oh so pretty permission to cum. It made him go crazy hard for you for days. Even before it all went down, he always fantasised about this but knew it’ll never happen, never wanting to cross the line of friendship and ruin things , but eventually it did happen. He didn’t complain because he saw how much you wanted it yourself, but after that he had to move on for your both sakes so no one could get hurt.
You mean the world to him and he knew you only viewed him as your best friend, so he acted as if it never actually happened. pretending everything went back to normal and he did great, really! But that was until he saw you today after weeks, in that skimpy little dress of yours looking gorgeous. He didn’t know how he managed to compose himself until now.
When he saw you pressing your thighs deliciously now and catching you red handed in your lie, made him realise you feel this same attraction over and over again too, it seemed like your minds always wondered to think about one another. And that relieved him, so why the both of you are holding back? Because of your friendship once again?
Felix had the urge to test his luck today, just like you tested yours, you are such as needy. He steals a few glances over your figure as his hand tightens a bit around the steering wheel, the way your exposed thighs distract him, maybe you don’t bother to pull the hem of your dress down just so you can tease him, you wanted to test his limits? Not today, he thought to himself.
You on the other side were still hot and bothered , suddenly finding the road way more interesting as you sat in silence taking a deep breath. Felix took this golden opportunity and put his hand on your exposed thigh. The moment you felt his slightest touch your breath hitched completely, you don’t even notice that you hold your breath. eyes widening and looking at him , then at his veiny hand that gives it a light squeeze , sending tingles down straight to your core.
“Y/n, are you okay? You look quite pale..” Felix asks as he gives another squeeze reassuringly, knowing exactly what he was doing , watching you crumble. It’s interesting to see when exactly are you going to brake, but he wanted to hear it from you and you just needed a little bit more of guidance.
“Y-yeah totally!! It’s just that it’s still hot and I’m not feeling so well because of that, can you maybe open the window a bit more?” You managed to squeak out but this time Felix couldn’t stop his grinning, chuckling, and you swear that he lowers his voice on purpose “how are you feeling hot but a shivering mess huh?” His warm hand beginning to caress your thigh up and down, waiting for you to shove his hand away but that never comes, you don’t know why you don’t stop him either, it was way harder for you to think straight right now. you didn’t even notice your shivers that sent goosebumps down your spine, feeling overwhelmed.
That bastard… you thought to yourself.
You weren’t stupid either, you felt a shift in his energy and mood the second he started driving but felt unsure, he knows how you’re feeling but hesitates to take further actions because he’s afraid from rejection. But how could you reject him when he is the only one that’s on your mind?
“Hmm doll?” Here are the pet names again. “Are you going to answer me or are you going to keep me waiting again? Just like you did with that dress of yours?” His hand crept up higher and higher taking place inside your inner thigh once again, so close to the place you wanted him the most, reminding you of last time. but this time you let out an evident gasp, you looked over in shock at Felix only to find him smirking to himself and turning left on the road.
“F-Felix what are you-“ he cuts you off as he started speaking again , feeling you melting under his touch “Let me ask you a different question Princess, for who did you dress up so prettily for? Hm? Are you planning to impress someone?” His deep tone of voice didn’t help to your state , still processing his words but hurried to answer him at the same time.
“I didn’t think of impressing someone b-but.. wanted to have fun” you say suddenly feeling a bit shy over your words, Felix was rather amused at your answer nodding his head at your statement “and what kind of fun did you think of exactly? Huh? With who?” He leaned back in his seat and he looked ethereal, how come you never viewed him that way? You’re surprised all over again.
But his question did wonders to you, the tiny little voice in the back of your head telling yourself you wanted to impress him and nobody else. The tension was getting unbearable at this point but the two of you still continued to play this game for some reason. Felix’s hand didn’t help you either, his touch only making more heat pool between your legs.
“Y-you..” you began but swallowed the lump in your throat first “you know what kind… y-you’re not dumb Felix..” you said, almost whispering the words but Felix heard you perfectly. he couldn’t help but bite his lower lip at your statement, feeling his jeans getting tighter and tighter the longer you tease each other. He decided to take one more glance at you before continuing to drive but hissed the second he looked at your figure.
You looked completely fucked out and he did absolutely nothing. looking so hot at him with half lidded eyes , as if they beg him to touch you. Your legs slightly open, you’re literally inviting his hand to slip into your dress, he only imagined how drenched you were already, thinking about how sensitive you are if you’re reacting like that just from these small gestures. he swears he never saw you like that not even last time, although you looked so nervous it was almost cute. he felt like he couldn’t concentrate driving, he needed to give you his full attention right now, fuck the party.
You felt a bit impatient from his lack of response, did you go too far? Before you even began to think of a million reasons why you did cross the line, Felix pulled over to the nearest emptiest place to park the car. Oh boy , here you thought to yourself.. with all that’s happened you really don’t know what to expect next but tried to compose yourself either way.
“Oh so now you’re not answering?” You saw the instant tick in his jaw the second you asked confidently and fully finished parking the car, his hand never leaving your thigh now squeezing it a bit harder, making you gasp once again , he leaned fully in his seat now giving you this downright dark look as he observed your figure.
He cleared his throat and scooted closer, you held your breath again and stayed glued to your seat not moving an inch “so you wanted someone to fuck your brains out don’t you ? Don’t be shy Y/n you can say exactly these words, no need to go all the way around” his other free hand came in contact with your chin, holding it with his fingertips so you’d look him straight in the eyes.
Then there was silence, you couldn’t even speak. You couldn’t even get a word out from the way he affected you so much, you’re not thinking straight and afraid you’ll blurt out something you shouldn’t say. So you just sat there and breathed heavily, the only sound in the car was both of your hot breaths fanning each others faces. Felix waited for your response but gets no comment back, slowly a smirk crept up on his face and he licked his lips in a way that almost had you whimpering over nothing.
“I get it Y/n, it’s totally normal…” but something about the way he said that didn’t feel right, instead you felt him getting even closer until you could feel his full lips right next to your ear whispering lowly “but don’t forget who made you a dumb soaking whiny mess over my thigh, sweetheart”.
Your heart should not have sped up. Your fingers should not have tightened against the seatbelt . You should not have pressed your thighs against each other with his hand in between . You should not have had your throat dried up at his very words. But it did and you are staring at Lee Felix in an angle you had never seen him. 
And the barriers have been broken, you couldn’t deny it anymore, you absolutely wanted him right now in this damn car.
Before Felix could even react you placed your hands on his broad shoulders taking him by surprise and smashing your lips against his. Not many moments after took Felix to return the favour, his lips danced perfectly agains yours like it was always bound to be placed there. The kiss was messy and both of you panted into each others mouths, Feeling Felix’s hand now on your hip pulling you closer, gripping you so hard with his fingers you swear he could leave a mark but you don’t care at this point.
You broke the kiss to breath air from lack of oxygen, you both continued to stare at each other with heady desire as he looked once again at your abused lips, he couldn’t get enough of you.
His mouth claims yours once more, and where the connection between you had grown quiet with intensity, it now gains the thrilling hunger that overtook them earlier, reminding you the battle of dominance in the heated kiss a month ago. You can barely breathe as he squeezes your thigh with his other hand for the tenth time today that slowly crawls higher and higher to the hem of your tight dress, reminder of the possessiveness that runs into every word, every touch.. you couldn’t help but whimper against him.
He took this opportunity and slipped his tongue to collide with yours, groaning deeply. You wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him even closer, you deepen the kiss, lust and want slowly washing you both and consuming your mind. Felix then nibbled and licked on your bottom lip tugging it gently, you let out a small moan and Felix felt satisfied from your reaction ignoring the aching of his cock.
He pulled away looking once again on your swollen puffy lips, cheeks flush as you looked at him and whispered. “Felix. I need more”. You managed to press your thighs even harder for some friction with his hand in between.
At that moment Felix snapped, you didn’t know he had that strength in him to just rip the seatbelt off you and lift you up by placing his hands on your ass. He cupped under it and made you straddle him in his seat, flashbacks from the last encounter of this event flashing through your memories. Your dress rides up so high it doesn’t do a good job at covering your bottom half, Felix hisses under you at the blissful sight, feeling his very prominent bulge.
“look at you, my little princess… just as needy as last time” his voice practically dripped with honey, his hand making its way straight to wrap around your throat gently, pulling you down to connect your lips again.
“Fuck” Felix cursed between wet kisses “look at you, with that tiny dress.. you did this to me on purpose didn’t you?” He added a bit pressure on your neck and you couldn’t contain the moan that slipped out of your mouth, turned on like you’ve never been before.
He noticed you liked his gestures and smirked “you like that don’t you? Having my fingers pressing on your pretty throat?” He observed you up close and his eyes were hypnotising, the way he looked at you, intimidating and so far from the sunshine you know on a daily basis. He lets go of your neck and continues to intertwine his fingers with your hair strands, pulling on them to keep you in place. You wanted to say something, do something, anything! But you felt like Felix controlled your every movement and you missed the way he did that so much, you didn’t do anything but listen to him.
“Couldn’t even sit a few minutes without thinking about my cock in you, are you that desperate for my fucking dick baby?” You furrowed your brows and bit your lips, your hands now moving on their own to keep you steady on his shoulder, you nodded almost instantly when he asked you that and he tsked, not satisfied from your answer.
“Speak up, doll. Use your pretty words like you did last time, be a good girl” he almost purred and it took you all your will not to start grinding against his length. Your hand slid down from his shoulder and onto his firm chest rubbing it up and down , you looked at him with your pleading glossy eyes and Felix swears he could come bust in his pants right now.
“Y-yes, yes! I’m desperate for your cock Felix..” you decided to take it up a notch since he wouldn’t do anything and show him exactly how desperate you are. Starting by grinding your hips all over his clothed bulge, earning a groan from him, his hands came flying onto your hips and gripped you hard. Taking onto your obvious hint he thrusted his hips up to meet yours, making you weak to your knees as you threw your head back and moaned loudly.
You felt like you were burning from desire and so sensitive, you can’t remember the last time you felt that way.
“My baby is so responsive huh?” He ground his hips once more and held you so you wouldn’t move, locking you in place.
“Too bad you’re not calling the shots here” another whine escaped your lips, clearly frustrated and wanting to feel him, his words affecting you wondering just how wet you are. seeing him taking every bit of control makes you even weaker, wanting to submit fully than you already are, do everything he says.
Leaning in, he noses at your jaw, his breath hot on your neck. His free hand draws the straps of your dress down your shoulders. It pools at your waist, revealing the laced bra covering your tits. “What’s wrong, kitten? Has nobody fucked you right since I left?”.
He began kissing and licking at your neck, making you grab on his hair and tug on the locks gently as you close your eyes and moan from the sensation, you were super sensitive and it made you let out shaky breaths making Felix smirk against you boosting his ego.
“I’ll take that as a yes then” he rasped and kissed down your jaw giving attention now to your breasts, two hands holding them and kneading them.
“I couldn’t make myself cum after you left..” you whimpered out just enough for him to hear and something within him triggered.
A low growl reverberates deep from Felix’s chest in response. Between licking and teasing your nipples through your bra and the next he’s tugging up your dress with rough hands you have fucking missed, the flimsy lace of your panties gone in one go almost ripping clean from your hips that makes lewd excitement surge throughout you, getting them off you so quickly. Thick fingers brush over the swollen lips of your pussy, the sweetest torture you have experienced, and when he parts you to find the slick arousal your game has drawn, Felix’s low groan reflects that shared affliction.
“Fucking drenched for me, baby,” he murmurs, voice rough as gravel. His free hand digs into the flesh of your thigh, keeping you open for him. “I’ve missed this pretty, little cunt too princess. so fucking receptive.” Two fingers tease the opening of your pussy, and just as your body fell victim to his words, your cunt instinctively clenches in response. Felix chuckles, pulling back to drink you in wickedly, his words making you warm inside.
His gaze is burning, alight. He curls his fingers to begin working you, the heel of his palm grinding against your clit. “Tell me who this cunt belongs to.” The moment you feel his fingers without any further warning is making you loose your damn mind, it takes you all your will not to cum right there on the spot, the stretch feeling amazing.
“Yours…” you barely speak as he continues his slow pace of his fingers knuckles deep inside you, working you up so deliciously.
His pace was torturous and you needed more of him “hm? What love? I didn’t quite catch that. Speak properly or… you can’t do that either? Your little body can’t handle it so you lost your words?” He cooed, he never thought he could see you in such a sight , so beautiful and the way you react to him, makes him loose his mind.
His words sending more tingles down your core continuing to drip down his fingers, you were close to your sweet release than you’ve ever been before, feeling complete bliss washing your body and ignoring his question, forgetting about everything that surrounds you. You forgot that you’re in this damn car in the middle of who knows where, on top of your best friend and his fingers deep inside you. The thought excited you even more and the look Felix gave you, his intense gaze made you even hotter.
Felix felt you clenching repeatedly over his fingers knowing what’s about to come, just as you were about to reach your high he stopped his movements completely.
You trembled with desire for him, your legs shaking as your orgasm has been taken away from you, tears of frustrations pouring down your face.
“W-why” you sobbed , you don’t care how pathetically desperate you look but on the other side you never wanted this moment to end , the position you’re in right now had you literally crying from pleasure.
“I asked you a question and you never answered angel, bad girls don’t get to cum do they now?” He groaned as he pulled his fingers away, sucking them and lapping on your juices, moaning at the taste of you.
You clenched at the sudden emptiness and at the sight of him licking his fingers “such a shame, you taste so fucking good”.
“Felix please.. I’ll be good I promise” you slid your hand down, touching his clothed prominent bulge over his jeans, making him hiss at the contact. He was quick to grab your hand and with his free one to once again pull onto your hair, his hot breath against your ear “didn’t you learn you how to behave last time? Need me to refresh your memory?” You nodded immediately and that made him chuckle darkly, his deep laugh didn’t help you as also the way he looks at you like he wants to devour you.
“Get in the backseat, Y/n” he ordered and you complied, not wasting any second giving him the full view of your ass, making him twitch in excitement in his jeans.
Once you’re both in the back, he fumbles with his belt, pulls the zipper down and finally freeing his hard cock out , the tip leaking with pre-cum making your mouth water.
“If you want to make it up to me..” he reached to caress your puffy lips with his thumb “then let your pretty mouth prove just how much you want me” without any hesitation you let his thumb enter your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around it, making Felix groan in return.
He pulled away and smeared his wet thumb on over your lips before leaning back and signalling you to lean further, holding his erection.
What a fucking sight. You slowly reached out for his length, Felix felt smooth as fuck under your touch. You grabbed him gently and took him in your mouth while fluttering your eye slashes at him.
"Just like that. You're so pretty with your mouth full of me. Just the way it's supposed to be."
His goddamn words… You didn’t know what it was about them that turned you on this much, pushing you to an utter state of enthusiasm.
"Harder, Princess. Suck me harder." He grabbed you by your hair making it into a ponytail and guided you through, You hollowed your cheeks to provide him with harder suction while working your tongue, which caused Felix to let out husky grunts for you.
He breathes deeply as you bob your head in slow motions, taking him deeper each time until you gag. His grip on your hair tightens, his face twisted in pleasure, his eyes dark and wild.
You pull back with a ‘pop’ sound and swirl your tongue over his angry tip focusing on it, making him moan in response and you swear that’s the hottest sound you’ve ever heard, pushing you further to please him.
“F-fuck y/n…” he grunts between breaths “how are you this good with you mouth baby? I won’t last..” he threw his head back and his Adams apple bobbed as he gulped.
You smiled a little at his reaction feeling satisfied with yourself.
“You really are a good girl.” He groaned at the sight of you with his dick in your mouth, eyes glossy and you moaned back in response sending vibrations and further pleasure. so you took more of his dick, trying not to get lost in all the warm feelings springing up from your chest.
you started to bob your head up and down while moving your tongue, letting it lick and touch his dick, which kept him moaning and grunting your name.
“Oh my God, yes,” was about the best he could do when you started sucking. He seemed in loss of words just like you are but felt pride bubbling up your chest on the way you make him feel.
You pull away once again to breathe and looked up at him while you work him with your hand “am I doing good for you, Lixie?” You asked in such a way Felix felt he’s going to cum right here on your hand, his jaw clenched.
He released the grip on your hair and pulled your leg now that you straddled him, once again putting you on top of him and changing positions, your core just mere inches from his hard cock.
No words needed to be said as you both knew what you wanted, both feel the same need and desire for each other as he pulled you down for another passionate kiss, tasting each other. It was messier than before and got your head spinning and him aching for you.
He tapped his tip against you clit making you moan in response “I need you inside me right now Felix, I can’t take it anymore please ” you were begging him at this point but you didn’t care as you wanted to feel your sweet sweet release against him.
It was like music to his ears “is that right baby? Come on then, sit on my dick show just how much you want me..” he said lowly and kissed your lips one more time before letting you slide down slowly on his length.
You threw your head back at the newfound stretch, a moan ripping out of you as you steady yourself on him, Felix’s hands found their way on your ass helping you with each movement, breathing on each other faces.
“That’s it Princess, ride me just like that” he almost whispers at this point, both of you lost in pleasure “just as tight as I remember, and so fucking wet..” he guided, leaving trails of kissed down your neck making your knees weak.
His words instantly shoot right down to your core and Felix feels his sentence has caused just the right reaction out of you by the way your walls clench around his cock.
“I wanted this for such a long time, Felix please.. don’t make me stop this time” you whined and started moving faster against him, making his dick twitch inside you, loving the way you beg.
“I won’t baby, I promise. loose yourself on my fucking cock, I dare you to make a mess all over it” he demanded it at this point and you don’t complain, picking up your pace until you’re practically bouncing on him, feeling the car move with each action but the both of you could care less.
Both moaning, breathing heavily and sweating. His thumb reached for your clit and circled it with just the right amount of pressure making you loose it, Felix groaning at the process.
He felt you clenching on him so hard , you kept moaning his name over and over again and knew you were close.
“Keep moaning my name baby, I want you to cream around my cock when you do so” he gripped your chin, faces inches from each other “look me in the eyes , sweetheart” he nibbled on you bottom lip tugging and sucking on it, the the speed of his thumb on your clit increases.
“Oh god, Felix!” It doesn’t take him long to get you to do just that, hips chasing after Felix’s, meeting his every thrust. “Shit, so fucking tight, pretty, so tight,” he grunts at you when your walls flutter around him, making you see absolute starts, orgasm finally hitting you like a truck. At this point he thrusts his hips up helping you with your movements and helping you through your high.
Feeling your walls spasm around him makes him moan out for you as well, you know he’s close by the way he thrusts sloppily and throwing his head back exposing his neck for you , so you take this opportunity even when you’re still on cloud 9.
“You’re so fucking good,” you say, resting the side of your face against his, placing soft kisses on his jaw. “Fuck me so well…”
You reach out for his earlobe and suck on it gently, roaming your hands over his chest and practically purr in his ear “give it to me lixie, I want you to fill me up so badly, please…”.
That’s all it takes for Felix to cum while inside of you and reach his high, pumping himself “F-fuck yes” he had a death grip on your hips halting his movements and reaching to the brim. You both panted heavily against each other, the two of you stayed close as you came down from your highs, not wanting to part from each other.
You placed your forehead against his, processing what the fuck just happened, you both smiled sweetly at each other.
“How you feeling?” He asked deeply and you giggled in response, moving your hand to cup his cheek and caress it with your thumb.
“I’m feeling pretty amazing to be honest” you answer and you see playful amusement glint in his eyes “is that so y/n?” He reached out for you lips but kissed you gently this time, savouring the sweet moment.
After that, you looked into each others eyes but he spoke once again “would you maybe.. want to go out, for real this time?” Suddenly loosing his voice, feeling a bit hesitant.
You thought it was cute and far more different than the Felix you saw a few minutes ago, there goes the duality of your ball of sunshine.
“Lixie, I would want nothing more than to go out with you” you reassured him and held his hand, making him feel warm as you kept kissing, wanting it to last forever.
It made you laugh a bit about the situation, because usually you go out on dates and then fuck, not the other way around.
But, you guess with Felix a lot of things just worked different and It was more than okay with you.
A call suddenly interrupted you from your session, the car media letting you know the name “Han” that was written across the screen, letting you both forget completely about the party.
You burst out in a fit of laughter and collapsed on top of Felix, he joined you as well “how am I supposed to go to that party looking like that??” You were very aware of your appearance and Felix had a smug smile on his face.
“Show the whole world you’re mine, princess”.
1K notes · View notes
wonfilms · 1 year
Text
7:30PM ; LEE FELIX
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warnings- none,  just tooth rotting romance
a/n- reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! thank you for all the love on my chan post!!  not proofread, so if there are any mistakes do let me know! <3
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if you had to name your favourite thing about felix, you just couldn’t. there was just too much to consider, and laying in bed next to him you were thinking about what it was that drove you the most crazy about him. 
your first thought was his lips, they were ever so close to yours and when you thought about the number of times you’d kissed them, your heart gave a little flutter, they always tasted like the cherry chap stick he wore. he made it a new years resolution to finish the entire tube before the next year arrived, you had to admit it was working wonders for his lips. they were softer than ever. 
or maybe it was his laugh, it was that which had you hooked from the moment you met him. it was a laugh that full of life and it lit up every room he was in and every situation he was a part of, perhaps that was what your favourite thing about him was?
oh but his eyes? a pretty shade of honey-like brown and they were so full of warmth. you felt the heat rising to your cheeks every time he looked at you even after being together for as long as you can remember.  you think it’s the gaze that he held you in, he looked at you like you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. 
you simply couldn’t pin point the one thing that made you head over heels in love with him.
as you carried on contemplating, the sun had started to peer in through the curtains, illuminating the form of your sleeping boyfriend. the light grazed his cheeks as his pouted lips let out soft snores. you traced the trail of freckles on his cheeks that were like little stars on his face as you felt him smile under your touch. 
“you’ve been staring for a while now sweetheart,” he whispered lowly. you jolted your hand away quickly ,. he opened one eye as a mischievous grin appeared upon his face. “you know if you wanted to kiss me so badly you could’ve just done it hmm?” he said as he turned to face you , propping his head up on his hand. 
you felt your cheeks burn with his teasing, as you edged closer to him, brushing a stray hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear. you pressed your lips to his softly and you felt him hum against your mouth. “you know you’re so pretty ‘lix?” you mumbled. now it was his turn to be flustered, you giggled at the soft blush that appeared on his cheeks at your words . 
“i should be saying that about you“ he huffed as he buried his face into your neck toppling you onto your back, you stroked his hair affectionately and stayed still for a while basking in the calmness of the early morning. 
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euphroseia · 1 year
Text
My only love
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Felix x gn!reader
Word count: 741 words
Genre: non-idol au, college au, fluff
Warnings: reader overworks themselves (please don’t forget to take care of yourself)
very self-indulgent because felix sent that cover on bubble while i was having a college life crisis >&lt;
You haven’t been going out of your room except when you have classes. It’s finals exam week and you’ve spent most of the time in your room accomplishing each requirement that has been given to you. To say that you are tired would be an understatement, everything is taking a toll on you already. 
Your roommate, Yuna, has grown really concerned with you by now. Aside from not going out of your room, you haven’t been eating when at home. She tried to persuade you to eat with her outside but you’ve been declining, saying you need to finish a project. So, she called your boyfriend, Felix, for backup to come and knock some senses on you.
Upon arrival, he’s greeted by Yuna and he gives her some snacks he brought along with him. “Is she still in the room?” Felix asked. “Yeah, probably reviewing or drawing. Please ask her to rest. I'm so worried for her health,” she said before going to her room.
After putting the food down on the kitchen counter, Felix made a beeline to your room and once he reached the front of your door, he softly knocked three times. When he got no response, he opened the door only to find you on the floor taking a nap with your head resting on the side of your bed. He saw in front of you what he presumes the scale model you’ve been whining about to him. He carefully lifted the model and placed it on your desk and made sure it was safe. He sat down beside you and softly tried to wake you up.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” you said with slight panic in your eyes when you realized you dozed off.
“Hey, sunshine,” he said, pecking your forehead. “Yuna called, said you haven’t eaten the whole day. She’s worried and asked me to come over.” You looked at him and sighs. You can't help but feel guilty for making two of your loved ones worry about you; you don’t like worrying people.
“I’m sorry, Lix, but I really need to finish my model,” you said, tearing up.
With all the scale models, plates, exams after exams, you knew you were bound to have the breakdown you’ve been postponing because of your busy schedule. You tried holding back your tears but failed miserably, how can you when your loving boyfriend is in front of you right now?
Felix opened his arms and brought you closer to him for a hug you needed for what felt like years of being busy. “I know, love, it’s been hard, but please let’s take care of you, yeah?” He asks, which you answered with a small nod as you sniffled on his neck. 
He smiled and pulled away from you to wipe your tears with his thumbs. “Let’s get you something to eat while I cut things you need for the model. Sounds like a good plan, right?” He offered and you can’t help but cry more that made him panic a little bit so he hugged you again.
You don’t know how you’ve gotten so lucky to have a man like him. Having him in your life always made you question if you really deserved him.
You stopped yourself from crying. Pulling away, you wiped your tears saying “I’m okay, I like your plan and I love you.” which made him giggle and gently pats your head.
You both went to your kitchen and Felix made you sit on a chair as he prepared to reheat the soup he brought for you. Once the food is finally ready, he serves it to you with a smile. You muttered a small “thank you” and started digging in.
As the plan goes, you eat and he goes to cut the things you need. You showed him the outlined materials and he just has to follow the pattern to cut them. 
He does them on the other side of the table where you are eating and you can’t help but stare at him and adore him. He must’ve noticed and glanced up at you and smiled asking “why?”
“Just love you,” you answered him with a smile and went back to eating.
“Love you too,” he said and you can hear the grin the words came with. 
On tiring nights and busy days, please make room in your heart for me to rest - Lee Hi, ONLY English translation
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jeongin-lvr · 3 months
Note
Can you give us skz bf when they find out a second member has a crush on the reader
ᙏ̤̫ ˘˘˘   skz reactions when another member likes you (nsfw)
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𓈃 ★ CHAN
Chan wasn’t by any means possessive— at least not outwardly. He’d smile whenever the members would buddy up with you. They’re practically his family, after all. And you were the love of his life, why wouldn’t he like to see all of you get close? It’s only when he notices that Hyunjin has taken an extra liking to you. Going the extra mile to help you, laughing a little too hard at your jokes, and Chan especially noticed how his eyes would trail up and down your figure each time you turned around. Suddenly, Chan was biting his lip and narrowing his eyes. You were so obvious too… it made Chan wonder how you hadn’t noticed. Despite your oblivion seeing Hyunjin toy with you while you just smiled innocently made him want to pounce across the table at Hyunjin any chance he could.
It tipped over the edge when you wore that low cut top; the one he begged you not to wear yet you did anyway. That’s when Chan nearly lost his shit. He’d catch Hyunjin shamelessly eyeing those pretty tits of yours, the way they spilled from your top each time you bent forward. Chan was furious. So that night while Hyunjin was the only one home beside the two of you, Chan pressed you right against the door and fucked you as hard as he could. His goal was to send the message that Hyunjin could never have you. Your pretty moans slipping through the cracks of the door while he held your wrists above your head, going the extra mile by loudly boasting how you were all his.
“You’re mine— got that? No one else will ever fuck you this good. Isn’t that right, sweetheart? Tell me how good I fuck you, go on.
𓈃 ★ LEE KNOW
You could never really know what he was thinking. He was unpredictable; one day he might be the most loving, doting, perfect boyfriend out there… the next he could have you strip for him so he could bend you over his knee and spank the shit out of you. It’s the best of both worlds! It was surprisingly you who first noticed Seungmin’s lingering stare on you! You caught him staring at you one too many times for it to be a simple coincidence. The thought excited you because you knew exactly how Lee Know would react if he found out. You knew the games he played. So you decided to get a head start. Staring by returning the stares with Seungmin to fluster him, ultimately making Lee Know gawk at the two of you in utter shock. He’d bite his lips as he’d watch you pat Seungmin’s fluffy hair and place your neatly manicured hands on his knee. Lee Know caught on quick; he just didn’t bother to say anything, daring to see how far you’d go.
It was about a week into your little game when he finally snapped. The sight of your fingers swiping at something on Seungmin’s lips, swiping something away with care. Your nose so close to the younger boys— Seungmin was clearly blushing, enjoying the proximity. Meanwhile, Lee Know? No, that man was seething so he just outright said something, immediately placing a veined hand at the back of your neck and pushing you roughly against the dining table, making both you and Seungmin gasp loudly. However, your shock melted quickly into eagerness as you felt his hard-on press against your inner thigh; you also felt Seungmin’s piercing gaze as Lee Know practically growled into your ear.
“You must think you’re so clever, yeah? Taunting me like that… since you have taken such a keen interest in ‘Min, why don’t you show him how well you take me, hm?”
𓈃 ★ CHANGBIN
When Changbin first found out Chan had a crush on you, he was pouty. Adorable little lips jutting out, shimmery brown eyes fluttering each time with annoyance whenever he caught the two of you even just simply chatting. Changbin did not at all like whenever the two of you were left alone, maybe it was a bit toxic but does it matter? And it totally didn’t help that you were slightly feeding into his jealousy; always boasting about ‘Chan this’ and ‘Chan that.’ Poor boy was practically scowling whenever he even saw Chan enter the room. You teased Bin because he was cute when he was mad— you also teased him because you liked the sex you’d get out of him. The toe curling, jaw dropping quickies he’d give you each time he even felt an ounce of jealousy run cold in his veins. How his stamina seemed to grow tenfold whenever he thought you spent a little too long with Chan. Sex when Changbin was jealous, to him, was a reminder that you were his; to you it was euphoric because he was so rough and so whiny with you.
He currently had you bent like a pretzel, knees in your chest, ankles dangling beside your cheeks with his strong hand desperately gripping the pillow beside your head. This was the third time today he’d fucked you into the mattress— but it wasn’t his fault! You were pushing his buttons… this particular moment stemmed from how you had mentioned how toned and big Chan’s arms were. Changbin was quick to drag you by your elbow into the closest room, laying you on the bed and purposefully leaving the door unlocked. He hoped Chan could hear the way the headboard smacked violently against the wall; how you only moaned his name— Your Binnie! He couldn’t wait till later so he could show off the bite marks and scratches you’d left on his bicep, hoping to flex them around the dorms just for Chan to see. The entire time he would whisper to you in gentle whines how he didn’t like how Chan was looking at you. Or the way you were talking about him. Especially how you talked about his muscles. Definitely not that.
“Chan doesn’t have sh-shit on me, yeah, baby? Tryna steal— steal my girl, fuck. He can’t have you. You’re mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.”
𓈃 ★ HYUNJIN
Hyunjin… Let’s just say he temporarily despises whoever dares to crush on his girlfriend! Dirty looks, possessive touches, hickeys along your neck and collarbone that would be way too hard to hide with concealer. The person in question happens to be Jeongin, constantly giving the poor boy dirty looks despite the younger trying his best to avoid you for this very reason! But Hyunjin just doesn’t like knowing how he felt for you. He did not like it at all. So whenever Jeongin would come around Hyunjin was quick to drape his jacket over you and wrap a protective arm around your shoulder, maybe even bringing the two of you into a corner (though not at all hidden) just to kiss you. And he’d silently enjoy when he felt Jeongin’s jealous eyes watching as Hyunjin worked his tongue into your mouth and his hands under your shirt.
You’d tell Hyunjin to relax, although your cheeks were red and your thighs were pressing together for a bit of friction; eyeballs darting toward Jeongin who pretended to be busy with something else on the living room couch, though the apple of his cheeks were rosy and his pants seemed to be getting a tad bit uncomfortable. Hyunjin would simply scoff at you and decide to kiss down your neck instead, making sure to groan just enough to make Jeongin bite his lips. Maybe he doesn’t go the extra mile and put his fingers in your sweet little cunt like he wants to but he definitely riles you AND Jeongin enough to end this little hangout short.
“Did you see him staring at you? He’s so jealous, it’s funny… now spread your legs please, love.”
𓈃 ★ HAN
Jisung would lowkey get mad. Like? You’re clearly his girl, who do they think they are even daring to have a crush on you? So when Jisung finds out cute little Felix has a crush on you he smiles every single time he sees the poor younger boy; it’s not a nice smile either. It’s like he’s smiling to hide the pure anger he feels, his lips upturning almost creepily. It gets to the point where you softly wack his forearm and tell him to stop, red cheeks aglow from slight embarrassment. But Jisung does not give a singular shit, instead eyeing the boy longer. And god forbid you and Felix so much as make eye contact because Jisung will make it know how unhappy he is with that.
He wouldn’t try anything right then and there, nothing more than harsh squeezes of your thigh from beneath the table, maybe even snide remarks towards poor Felix. But the second the door to your shared home is closed he has you backed up against the nearest surface and is inhaling your breath like it’s his own. Lips on your neck, beneath your reddening ears, nipping at the skin like a starved man. It’s not so much as a jealousy thing as it is a dominance thing; proof that he really is yours!! That you chose him and not Felix, which only makes him smile in the kiss and slip his hand into your panties unexpectedly. The moans you let out as he fiddles with your clit only serves as further proof that he is yours, and you are most definitely his.
“Love you, my baby. Looked so pretty tonight even Felix was staring… too bad you’re mine, haha. Ah, stay still let me see your pretty face while I touch you… that’s it.”
𓈃 ★ FELIX
You were actually the one to tell him about Han’s crush on you. You heard from Hyunjin’s loud mouth that Han had been crushing on you for months; to which Felix literally giggled. He was by no means jealous, in fact he was flattered for you. Felix thought of himself as the luckiest man ever because he has someone that others want yet you chose him! It’s actually so sweet when he pressed a soft kiss against your lips, his warm, freckled skin practically melting into you as he placed his gentle hands along your jawline after hearing the news. Felix adores you, he understands why someone else would as well and he also trusts his friends to respect him and keep that shit to themselves!
The thought of another man wanting you only made Felix fall for you harder. You had options yet he was your first pick. So to show you how appreciative of that he is he’s pampering you. Spreading you out on the bed, you’re wearing that new lingerie set he bought you, lace flowers sewn into the panties with ribbons as white as snow. Felix is tender with you while he kisses you, small hands on your wrists as his messy blond hair tickles your tummy. He’s sensual and slow— not to be a tease but because he wants to make this feel special. His plump lips are grazing over your clothed pussy, hums deep enough to make your head spin. He savors every moment of this, thinking about how lucky he is that you’re his.
“Tonight is all about you, sweet girl. Promise to make you feel so good… so lucky to have you. Thank you for being with me.”
𓈃 ★ SEUNGMIN
One jealous son of a bitch. Seungmin seems to always catch other members staring at you a little too hard, seeing their eyes on you or how they licked their lips around you. But it was Lee Know who always had his eyes trained on you, watching you walk— even when you were around Seungmin! And it was pissing Seungmin off. He didn’t know if he was purposely trying to annoy Seungmin or if he was unaware; either way Seungmin was practically grinding his teeth together at the thought of Lee Know ever having a crush on you. But in a weird way Seungmin couldn’t even blame him— sure was he pissed that Lee Know even thought about you like that? Hell yeah. Was he surprised that other people found you attractive? No, not at all. Because it’s true. So in a way Seungmin related to Lee Know, chuckling at the thought after a while. And that’s how this idea had blossomed.
Seungmin had been fingering you for a little over half an hour, edging you on with a sadistic smile and his big brown eyes trained on the way your face squished at the feeling of your approaching orgasm. Your shivering hands rested on his shoulders, moans loud in the night. Seungmin left the door wide open so his roommate, Lee Know, would be able to hear every little sound you made; it worked like a fucking charm! Lee Know was sitting wide eyed in his bed just down the hall, his own bedroom door open a crack. His cock straining in his pants as the sound of Seungmin’s wet palm slapping against your swollen clit filled the room. Lee Know didn’t know whether to say something or to close the door and wish it were him pleasuring you instead. Seungmin loved that thought— so much so he had to whisper it to you, mouth right by your ear. The only thing was his “whispers” were loud enough for Lee Know to hear perfectly, every crisp syllable.
“D’ya think Minho heard you, sweetheart? Bet he wishes it was him touching you like this… bet he wants to touch you like this. He can’t reach the best parts of you like I can, baby, trust me. He doesn’t know this pretty body like I do.”
𓈃 ★ JEONGIN
Three words; jealous, whiny baby. He’s jealous, what else can I say? As soon as he hears from Chan that Changbin has a crush on you— his girlfriend —he’s seething. He immediately runs to you, whining into your arms as his weight crushes you into the bed, pouting into the soft crook of your neck, inhaling your faded perfume as he spoke. You’re feigning sympathy, asking questions you knew would tick him off, playing with his thick, conditioned hair as you did so just to tease him more, “Oh yeah? Bin likes me? How cute, how cute.” And, let me tell you, Jeongin is not amused by you at all. His bottom lip jutting out as he lifts his head and gives you the nastiest glare, big hands gripping your hands that were once in his hair. But it’s especially when Changbin comes in to ask you two what you want for dinner (though really he just wants to talk to you) that Jeongin silently loses it. Before you can even properly answer the older male Jeongin is pushing him out the room, locking the door behind him.
And now he has you laid on the mattress with your own panties pathetically shoved into your mouth as a make shift gag, holding his phone in front of your face. He’s recording, clicking his tongue and letting the camera scan up and down your sweaty, red marked body as he buries his cock between your thighs. He’s mocking you now, asking you questions with that same tone of understanding, feigning sympathy for the way his dick is splitting you open. Taunting you by saying he’ll send the video to Changbin to “prove a point,” and you’re practically sobbing from both pleasure and embarrassment! But it’s okay he won’t send it, he’ll keep it all to himself… you’re all his!
“What do you think, babe, should I send it? Think he’ll like it… no? Aw, what a shame. Shh, don’t cry, I know it feels good, shh.”
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[ 𝗆.𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 ] 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾:𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗎𝗇 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 !𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗉𝗅𝗌 𝗂𝗀𝗇𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 😭
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slvt4felix · 4 months
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I Could Never Hate You
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Pairing -> ninth member!reader x Lee Minho WC -> ~3,300 words Includes -> hurt/comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, hyunjin's a meanie, reader has anxiety, minho struggles with his feelings, cringy nickname use, yelling, swearing Summary -> The rest of the group members are over the silly rivalry between you and Minho. They decide to take matters into their own hands. However, their little game takes a turn for the worse when one of the members betrays your trust. Some may call it destiny…the way it leads you straight into the arms of the one you would never expect. Author's Note -> This is my first time posting on here, so hopefully this isn't too rough. Also, I swear I don’t hate Hyunjin. I love him to death. It was just necessary for the plot… anywaysss hope you enjoy!!
Masterlist ♡ Next Part
“I swear to God if you guys don’t open this door right now!” You yell as you pound on the hotel room down the hall from yours. There hasn’t been a reply, but you know that Hyunjin and Felix are in there. The two of them are always locked in their hotel rooms the night before your shows. They try to get as much sleep as possible for the next day.
‘They are definitely laughing their asses off right now,’ you think to yourself. It was just a stupid prank to them. Something to get you and Minho to finally get along again, but they just don’t get it. You had tried for so long to make it work, but Minho was just too stubborn. For heaven’s sake, you guys used to be the best of friends. One day he just started being cruel. Ignoring your texts, saying snarky things under his breath, scoffing every time you accidentally messed a move up. It escalated to the point where you no longer talk anymore. Truly, it is not your fault and they don’t seem to get it. He refuses to say anything about what happened, completely disregarding the fact that you were ever close enough to share your deepest secrets.
You turn around to leave, realizing the two boys were probably never going to open the door. You hear the lock click and spin back to see the annoyingly beautiful face of Felix. Although he wasn’t outright laughing at you, he was putting little effort in trying to hide his smile.
“Hey, what are you so upset for? I didn’t notice anything wrong on the bus earlier?” Felix asks. You just stare back dumbfounded.
“Why the fuck would you ever put me in a room with him?” you spit pushing past Felix into his room, “Don’t you dare look at me like that, you know how he treats me.”
Hyunjin just looks at you from his spot on a queen bed closest to the window. He looks shocked, as if he hadn’t expected you to actually put up a fight against the sleeping arrangements.
"How is that our fault?" Hyunjin questions. He seems like he may be genuinely asking, but you know him better than that. You have always been closer to him than the other members, especially after all the things that went down with Minho. Hyunjin was always the one to comfort you. The first to step up when your anxiety got to be too much. So, it was obvious that the members did have something to do with it, and it wasn't just an unfortunate fluke.
"I saw the way you guys all ran to claim your rooms while I was still collecting my suitcase. Don't act stupid. I know you know what's going on," you say back in hopes to get him to at least explain what their plan was. Maybe you could reason with them and get one of the boys to switch. Heck, you'd even be willing to sleep on the couch in Hyunjin and Felix's room, but it's starting to seem like they don't even want you in their room in the first place.
You hear Felix close the door behind you, but it's all blocked out as you watch Hyunjin roll his eyes at you. While this may seem like a typical Hyunjin action, it just didn't feel right. He tries to be more gentle with you than the other boys. After confiding many of your secrets and insecurities in him, he knows to control his face around you. Yet, it's beginning to look like he's forgotten all about that tonight.
"Yeah, I'm the stupid one..." he mumbles under his breath. With every sentence exchanged, the tension in the room grows thicker. You almost feel bad putting the other poor boy in the room through this. You can practically feel him stiffen with every word spoken.
"Hyunjin-" Felix starts but is cut off by a sharp look from the man himself. You know it's starting to go too far if Felix is getting upset, but Hyunjin doesn't seem to care.
"Why are you so angry right now?" you ask him, praying the question doesn't fire him up more. Maybe he's just having a really bad day, or maybe he just wants to be alone and can't deal with your problems.
"I'm not angry," he starts, "you're just making a big deal out of absolutely nothing." By the end of it he begins to raise his voice, another thing he knows you aren't a fan of. You take a step back, a little confused at his ignorance. He's been with you through all the fights, why doesn't he understand how big of a deal this is to you?
As you're still trying to make sense of his previous statement, his voice quiets down, and he looks back down at his phone as he whispers, "Just like you always do."
"What is that even supposed to mean?" you ask, scared for the response. He glances up sharply, making true eye contact for the first time tonight.
"You're always crying over stupid shit, and I really can't handle it anymore,” he states angrily, his eyes not leaving yours the entire time. He finally breaks eye contact, and the tension explodes, painting the whole room red.
As dramatic as it sounds, it's like a knife to your heart, or perhaps more accurately a stab in the back. You know exactly what he means by that. It's like he was aiming for your most sensitive spots. With your anxiety, you tend to panic over things that don't usually matter much in other people's minds. Every time you have an anxiety attack or are just freaking out about something, you usually try to hide it. You worry that your friends won't take you seriously or will make fun of you over something they consider 'not a big deal'. You've confided in Hyunjin over this topic before. He's helping you get over that and come to them when you need help. So why is he now turning on you? Was it all an act before?
You feel your eyes start to tear up, but you hold them back. He cannot see you cry.
"Fuck you," you say, attempting to put venom behind it, but all that comes out is your shaky voice.
"Y/n, wait," Felix says sympathetically as you go to leave the room. Normally, you would stop and let Felix comfort you, but suddenly everything is feeling just a little too heavy and you can't seem to look him in the eye any longer. You stride out of the room, keeping your shoulders straight without even glancing back. You just need to stay strong until you make it into the hallway. You slam the door behind you despite typically being the one to argue when the other members to it. Your eyes are blurring too fast at this point to even recognize the fact that you probably should've shut it a bit quieter. It is a hotel and noise complaints are a thing, but, honestly, that is the least of your worries at the moment. You just keep replaying back the fight in your head trying to figure out what you did wrong. It had to be something, right?
You start down the hallway, cursing when you realize your room is at the other end of the hall. You hope the other boys can't hear your sobs, especially the two you just departed from. As much as you want to be comforted, it feels like you're past the point of no return and just want to be alone. You try to stifle your cries a bit with your hand, but it doesn't do much. You're heads getting a little too light, you're breathing getting harder to control. Your hands are shaking, and it seems like the crying is just starting. Some may call you sensitive, but when the tears start you simply begin to spiral. There's very little that can calm you down at that point. Hyunjin usually has to take you somewhere and help you take deep breaths especially before your concerts. But he's the one who started this mess. So, what are you supposed to do now?
You finally make it to your hotel room, barely being able to read the numbers, and you start to dig around in your pockets. You start to panic as you struggle to find your key card, but eventually you grasp the small rectangular piece of plastic and open the door.
Once inside, you shut the door, a bit calmer this time, and fall back against it. The only thing on your mind being the fact that you are finally in your own room, alone. You put your hands over your face, trying to quiet some of your senses. In the haste to get out of the situation, you completely failed to remember the problem that had started it all.
Minho is sitting in one of the beds; he had plenty of time to choose considering you just dropped your suitcase off and stormed off upon realizing the two of you would be rooming together. He's all cozy in his sweat pants and t-shirt, obviously thankful for your abrupt disappearance. He looks up, shocked to see you re-entering the room. He plans to make a jab of some sort, but immediately pauses upon seeing your state. It seems like you haven't even noticed that he's in there yet. He's never really seen you like this before, or at least not since he started pushing you away. Putting that aside, he accepts defeat realizing that you need someone. You need him.
Your eyes are covered as you cry quietly into your hands, pushing your head back into the wood behind you. You flinch slightly upon feeling strong arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you away from the hard door. However, you soon relax into the arms, enjoying the feeling of safety flood your system. The man is warm and gentle as he presses you against him, pushing your head into the crook of his neck.
"Follow my breathing," he whispers in your ear, sending goosebumps from your head to your toes. You try to listen to him, but all of your senses are so overwhelmed that you can't seem to focus on anything. Feeling like a fool, you begin to cry harder, immediately sending you back to the fight with Hyunjin.
"Honey," he starts, "you just have to take a deep breath. I don't want you to pass out on me." Hearing the quiet voice in your ear helps bring your mind back to the present. Trying to focus on the instructions, you begin to notice the chest rising and falling slowly against yours. You can even feel the man's calm heart beat against your racing one.
Following the normally simple order, you try to take a deeper inhale resulting in a few hiccups and more tears. One of the arms around your shoulder falls and his hand begins to rub your back gently. As you focus on the sensation, your breathing starts to even out, just as Minho had hoped.
Once you are in a slightly better state, he moves you over to the bed. Setting you down on the edge, he kneels in front of you and softly pulls your hands away from your face. You instinctively bow your head, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to keep from facing the man in front of you.
Minho reaches his hand out, bringing your face back up towards his. You slowly open your eyes at the gentle touch. He's looking right back at you, a soft expression covering his face. He hasn't looked at you like that in years. He practically lights up when your eyes meet his.
A smile grows on his face, as he quietly says, "There you go, kitten." Your face flushes at the nickname, and you hear Minho giggle softly at your blushing cheeks. He used to call you that all the time. A fan had once greeted the two of you at a fan meet saying how you both had the same energy as cats. So from that day on, he had called you that nickname constantly, earning well-deserved teasing from the other boys. Yet, it had all stopped out of nowhere.
'He doesn't care about you anymore,' you remind yourself. You pull away from him roughly and stand up from the bed. You take a few steps away from him, the comfort you had felt being ripped away in seconds. This was too confusing. He can't ignore you for years and suddenly act normal. That isn't how this works.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" you ask him, just wanting some sort of explanation. He slowly stands up, his soft look from before transforming into a look of pure regret.
"What are you talking about? You're upset and I care about you," he calmly explains, obviously ignoring the elephant in the room. But you can see it in his eyes; the nerves, the regret, and the sadness painting itself across his irises.
"You hate me,” you say, leaving no room for discussion. You were sick of being left in the dark and being turned on. You just want to know, what happened?
"You don't really believe that do you?" he asks as his body language changes. He reaches a hand up, pulling a little too roughly against his hair as he looks down at the ground.
"I mean-" you start to say but are cut off by a small sniffle coming from across you.
The culprit looks up at you again, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Minho never cries. It's just one of those things. So he wipes them away and says the last words you would ever imagine him speaking to you.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers genuinely, "I never meant to make you feel that way, but I guess that's what it's come to, hasn't it?"
You stand stiffly, staring at him. You had never seen the man look so defeated. You are even more confused about where the two of you stand than you have ever been.
"But I don't get it, you're just so mean. I don't know how you couldn't hate me."
"I could never hate you,” he states staring at you. His eyes are so deep that you can see exactly what he's feeling, and you realize, this is it. He's an open book. This may be the one time you get to see under the surface of Lee Minho since those days of friendship all those years ago.
"Then why did you push me away?" you ask, taking advantage of his state.
"I was just so scared. I thought you would hate me if you found out..." he trails off. You simply wait for him to finish his sentence, but he never does. He just looks back at you in hopes that you understand what he's trying to say. A silence builds, and Minho takes a deep breath before continuing.
"I love you and I was just too scared in case it would ruin the group," he says, finally letting the truth escape after years of secrets. The shock of the statement leaves you speechless, simply staring at your old best friend.
After a few seconds of building tension, you can’t help but start to giggle, leading to near hysterics with more tears springing to your eyes. You had thought you had cried all of them out, but it looks like you were wrong. There's no way that's the reason. If only he had been honest with his feelings, then you would've never been in this situation in the first place.
He looks surprised at your laughing, and his whole body seems to deflate.
'Hopefully he doesn't think I'm laughing at him', you think. There's no way they had messed up communication that bad to let it get to this point.
"You should have said that, Minho. I was so in love with you," you state gently, trying not to bewilder the poor man. He looks up, and there's pure excitement on his face. It's beautiful to see compared to his earlier expressions, and you're reminded of all those little reasons you love him. All those reasons that have been buried down due to his obliviousness.
"Really?" he says, taking a step closer to you. Your cheeks heat up upon realizing that you really did just reveal one of your darkest secrets.
He takes another step closer, his face now only inches from yours. You feel his arms wrap sweetly around your waist. You glance down at his lips; they're slightly chapped, but honestly, it's just all part of what makes Minho, Minho. Your eyes go back up to meet his, and you can see the tension and nerves drawn upon his face. You quickly close the distance, making the decision you should have made all those years ago.
Minho doesn't pull away, instead immediately melting into the kiss, bringing one hand up to delicately cup your cheek. This may be one of the softest moments you have ever witnessed from Minho, and man do you want more.
You don't kiss for long, it's short and sweet, but it means so much more. Within it is everything you had wished you could've said to each other since the beginning.
You both pull back, a laugh leaving both of your mouths as you take in how outrageous the situation is. He pulls you close again, his head falling on your shoulder.
"I promise, I will never ever treat you like that again. You mean so much to me," he whispers. You bring a hand up to pet the back of his hair, pulling back just enough to give him a kiss on the cheek.
The two of you eventually pull away as your eyelids begin to droop. You realize how late it has gotten, neither of you noticing with all the drama that has unfolded. You quickly change into your pajamas and get ready to go to sleep.
You end up in the same bed with your head lying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair. Despite how sleepy you both feel, you know there is so much more to talk about and neither of you will be able to fall asleep.
Minho breaks the silence, asking you the dreaded question, "So, what happened? Did someone hurt you?"
"Hyunjin and I fought. He said some very hurtful things." I reply sadly, the memories of the fight resurfacing.
"You two are so close, I'm sure he didn't mean it. You know how upset he gets when we’re on tour for so long. He gets aggravated having to be around us all the time, but it was still messed up for him to be so mean to you."
You laugh at his response, "Yeah, like you can talk."
"Hey!" he says dramatically. You both giggle, and despite the tough topic, the tension seems to melt away. It always used to be that way with Minho. It's as if the two of you were made for each other. Everything just felt so much better and easier around him. Suddenly, everything in life was a lot sweeter.
"But seriously, don't worry about it too much, kitten. Felix will take care of it, and Hyunjinnie will be running back to you by the morning."
Part 2 out now!
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wontune · 5 months
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✰ ゙ Felix [ stray kids ] lockscreens ‹‹
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3rachaslut · 21 days
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kinks i think skz would have (part 3)
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SKZXFEM READER
cw: smut obviously (MINORS DNI) the tw’s are kinda obvious with the sub header but read at your own discretion babies 🤍
a/n: not proofread sorry for any mistakes. also i’m so happy to be writing again! lets be delulu together xox
part 1, part 2
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bangchan; hair pulling
oh my lord this man is relentless,
he’d be grabbing fistfuls of your hair and yanking your head up to look at him when you’re on your knees underneath him
“you look so pretty on your knees for me doll”
will literally snatch your hair as he’s fucking you in missionary and growl like an ANIMAL down your ear as he’s so deep in your pussy
“f- fuck baby, ah- feel so good around my cock”
the way your mouth drops open at the sting on your scalp as you stare up at him with mascara down your face from him deep-throating you omg you look devine babygirl!
“don’t cry angel you’re doing such a good job for me” *continues to FACE FUCK you*
lee know; edging/ overstim
we all knew this one was coming
you best believe lee know would make you BEG for him to let you come every. single. time. without fail. you would be a whimpering, sobbing mess
“if you want to cum, what do you say baby? … hmm i don’t think think you want it that much” GOD
he would be holding the vibrator to your clit for ages! smirking at your face contorting as the pleasure just builds and builds in your pussy.
“such a good girl for daddy hmm?” HELP (i am simply a dog)
“that’s it, keep begging sweetheart” AHH
and when he does let you come oh. god. he would make you orgasm over and over again until you’re crying! your pussy would be so red and swollen afterwards and he lovessss to see it
“no no doll, you begged me to come so take it like a good girl”
changbin; pussy slapping
hear me out-
so, changbin would be on top of you fully clothed whilst you’re bare naked underneath him and even the sight of you alone is enough to have his cock digging into you from his pants
he’s the type to play with your clit until you’re mewling but would SLAPPP your pussy once he hears you beg to go faster
“you don’t tell me when to do with your pussy darling”
the way he would smirk slyly as your body jolts up and your legs shake in surprise at the sudden impact o.m.g!
each slap would have you groaning from your whole chest as he continues slapping your sensitive clit again and again and he would even have the AUDACITY to chuckle down your ear at your reactions
“you’ll get my cock soon enough baby, don’t worry”
hyunjin; praise kink
i feel like this one being on the list was inevitable. hyunjin and praise kink just go hand in hand
the way he would trace your entire body with his hands leaving kisses on your exposed skin with his eyes full of adoration i’m CRYING
“you’re actually ethereal y/n..”
each time he would kiss the inside of your thighs, he would look up at you with your head thrown back in bliss and smile lovingly at the sight of you enjoying yourself. (all he cares about is your pleasure i SWEAR)
“that feel nice baby?” um YES
none. stop. compliments of how beautiful your body is and how he’s the luckiest man in the world
lots of make out sessions because trust me, this man is drunk on you!
“so fucking beautiful”
han jisung; marking
because han AINT SHARING
the thought of anyone else looking at you has han feeling the need to mark you as his own. you’re his and he’s yours. done!
seriously bestie, the amount of hickeys he gives you is crazyyyy! but would absolutely kiss each one after making them
“my gorgeous girl, aren’t you? only mine” the POSSESSIVENESS i love urgh
the way he would have you moaning underneath him as he sucks on your neck again and again and the way you would sound so sexy he would be lowkey going feral for you.
“fuck baby, i love you so much”
felix; pain play
because, in my opinion, felix can’t contain his dom side around you…
as in he would be shoving his fingers down your throat whilst pinching and twisting your nipples just to hear your choked moans whilst you writhe under him
and the way he would chuckle smugly af at the state he would put you in every time. (his deep laugh has me on the floor)
“is it hurting baby? aww… good”
SLAPPING. EVERYWHERE.
the lasting bruises of his hands all over your thighs and ass for dayssss
the way he would nip his teeth against your clit just to see you jump and buck up into his face when you feel a sharp sting onfbsjsn
*deep voice* “good girl” — AHHHH i’m sat!!
seungmin; objectification & humiliation
this one is my personal fave… stay with me !!…
i know for sure that seungmin is a super soft lover but you can’t tell me this man doesn’t respectfully disrespect you to the point of orgasm !
the way he would tease your clit forever just to look into your desperate af eyes and laugh at you for being “such a needy fucking puppy yeah?” and the way he would call you a whore and slap you in the face afterwards IM WET
“can’t speak now pup? aww are you so dumb on my cock that you’ve turned into nothing but a doll for me to fuck? yeahhh…”
and the way he would choke you until your eyes roll back in bliss just to laugh at how pliant you are O.M.G
the aftercare though! he would give you so so many face kisses and cuddle you so tightly only to do the exact same thing the night after
jeongin; Msub
look, i’m constantly torn between wanting innie to rail me and wanting to corrupt him but this oneeee…
WHINEY JEONGIN.
when i tell you the whimpers this man lets out whilst you tease the top of his cock is heavenly, i mean dangerously
“y/n- mistress! please!” oh my
his eyes would be focused on YOU, never taking his eyes off his beautiful girl
so much begging and pleading and the way he would moan even louder in desperation when you smirk at him because he knows it gonna be a long night
“i’ll be good! i’ll be so good for you! please y/n!”
the way he would grab your face once he comes down from his high and just kisses you for so long with SO much passion. i will cry
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httpdwaekki · 23 days
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random bf texts w/ maknae line
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ss: 5
a/n: okay this feels kinda rushed but i really like innie's (i'm sorry i'm in my innie calling the reader noona era) and i've been obsessed w wow by 3racha so what inspired han's LMAO. anyway! i hope you enjoy! remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3.
hyung line
my library
jisung & felix
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seungmin & jeongin
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p.s. i'm gonna try and make some more written fics because while these are fun to make i kinda miss writing full length fics so expect to see some soon!! and of course requests are always welcome <3
do not repost
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forlix · 5 months
Text
‧ ❆ ˚ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 (besides myself)・l.f.
— you spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.
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words・5.4k
pairing・lee felix x gn!reader
genres・babysitter!au, girldad!lix, nobody look at me, toothrotting fluff, more angst than originally intended tbh, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, happy ending yayyy, non-linear storyline
warnings・cousin has a korean name and experiences one (1) minor head bump, mc is temporarily heartbroken and experiences one (1) breakdown
playlist・house song by searows・glad by tori kelly・let's pretend by del water gap・you were good to me by jeremy zucker
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a/n・hiiii my loves, i'm so unbelievably excited to bring u my first contribution to my and @astraystayyh's collaboration, "winter falls" ♡ every time i write for our ray of sunshine i'm reminded of how thankful i am to love him. this fic ruined me. hope it does the same to you (smile)
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I. everything
“One day,” you muttered to the toddler sitting on your shoulders, “you’ll experience something deeply, irreversibly humbling, and I’ll be there to witness your downfall.”
Byeol responded to this with an unbothered babble. She then gathered two handfuls of your hair and yanked using far too much force to be biologically possible.
You folded like a lawn chair. “Mother—!”
Oh, that word was not suitable for button-sized ears.
“—oh, my dear mother, why? Why me?”
Technically speaking, your aunt should’ve been the target of your lamentations, but all she did was produce the child presently steering you around the kitchen like you were her own personal bumper car. Your own mother was the one who volunteered you to watch said child during the first weekend of your winter break. Only for an hour until the babysitter arrives, she’d said (raising her voice, so as to be heard over your groaning).
You adored Byeol. She made scarily accurate chipmunk sounds and possessed an immobilizing fear of grapes. She bust out a dance move before she took her first steps. The girl could have you floored with laughter without being able to say more than three words at a time. Still, this was far from how you imagined onsetting your desperately-needed few weeks off. Not to mention it was now half past three; your shift should’ve ended two minutes ago.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Byeol emitted an excited onomatopoeia like a golden retriever detecting the mailman. Your reaction wasn’t too far off; you swiveled your head in the sound’s direction, sang out “coming!” in a delighted vibrato, and twirled into the foyer, your hands around Byeol’s ankles anchoring her in place.
You cracked open the door and found yourself face-to-face with Byeol’s babysitter. The freckles scattered across his high cheekbones and sloping nose seemed to you like they were imprinted by the sun itself. His hair was dark, falling just shy of pitch black, and long, ending an inch or so below pierced ears. A few misbehaving strands rested over his forehead but did little to obstruct your view of his eyes: profoundly brown and pointed at either end, like poinsettia petals.
He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You felt your skin warm, your heart flip. You opened your mouth. 
Then Byeol hit her head against the vertical edge of the front door, loud enough for it to echo.
The panic that seized you in that moment was truly unlike anything you’d experienced before. You caught one glimpse of the stranger’s expression (as mortified as you expected), and then you were seeing your own epitaph on the inside of your eyelids, engraved with the four words “Death by Furious Aunt.”
“Was that—?” The man sputtered, and his voice was rich and full and accented and just as breathtaking as the rest of him and holy fucking shit now was not the time.
“My fucking god,” you whispered, completely forgetting to watch your mouth. In a hurry, you swung Byeol off your shoulders and dropped to a knee. You leaned in close to examine her reddening forehead and cradled the plush of her cheek; she blinked at you a few times, fascinated by the sudden sight of your face again.
“You okay, Byeollie? That hurt a lot, didn’t it? I’m so, so sorr—”
Byeol started to laugh.
Not laugh as in those little chuckles she let out randomly, like there was something inherently amusing about the kitchen cupboard, but laugh as in a boisterous, resounding guffaw, like a great-uncle at a family gathering off one too many martinis.
This rendered you speechless for the second time in under a minute. Then, you lifted your other hand to cradle her other cheek, her face now sandwiched between your palms, and squeezed.
“I broke my cousin,” you whispered, your voice was so deathly serious that the man in the doorway had to stifle a laugh of his own.
His knee brushed against your shin as he sat down to your left, folding his legs into a criss-cross. You could discern notes of lavender and orange blossoms in the delicate cologne that clung to him, perforated the air and your mind both.
“Can I?” He asked.
“Please.”
Carefully, you shifted Byeol’s small frame towards him; the manner in which he accepted her was so smooth and practiced that there was no doubt in your mind you were watching a professional at work. He settled her on his right knee, then dipped his head to look her in the eye.
“Hi, princess,” he cooed with a dulcet smile. He curved his pointer finger, dusted it beneath her chin. “Why are you laughing, silly girl?”
Oh.
Oh.
You might just continue your lineage after all.
“Y/N-ie,” she answered, still tittering.
He looked to you with a slight tilt to his head, and you nodded affirmatively. He murmured a quiet ah. “What about Y/N-ie?”
Somehow you sensed that she was about to embarrass you and pinched the bridge of your nose—in preparation.
“P-pretty.” I knew it!
The man let out the laugh he’d been holding back since earlier and tapped on her button nose, lowered his voice to a whisper that he knew you could hear.
“I agree.” His eye glinted playfully, matching his tone. “And so are you.” The bashful, high-pitched giggle she responded with sounded eerily similar to your inner monologue.
The two of you spent a little longer on the floor of the foyer making sure Byeol was okay, and then the girl upped and made a mad dash for the kitchen while yelling something about a horse, and if that didn’t confirm that she was completely fine (albeit incredibly strange) you didn’t know what would. You found her rolling around the carpet in the room adjacent to the kitchen and left her to her own devices while you and her babysitter fixed up a small fruit plate for her afternoon snack. No grapes, of course.
He told you he usually went by Felix, but that his Korean name was probably easier for Byeol to pronounce, with its easier consonants and whatnot. You asked which name he preferred, and he said either or. He was a recent college graduate, a year older than you, who was determined to spend at least the next two years doing nothing but working out his future. He accepted the part-time babysitting position to pick up some light cash in the process.
“And ‘cause I’m good with kids,” he added, splitting apart a tangerine. “So I’ve been told.”
“Oh, you definitely are,” you said, plating a couple blueberries. “You melted her earlier.”
“She melted me. She’s so cute. And you’re so cute with her—I didn’t realize I was robbing someone of their job.”
You turned your head to regard the tot and let out a helpless laugh. Byeol tired of being a human lint roller a few minutes ago and had since moved on to staring aimlessly out the window.
“She doesn’t take me seriously, and I can’t stay mad at her,” you mused. “I would be a nightmare as her babysitter, trust me. She’s all yours.”
Felix held out two overturned handfuls of tangerine slices, to which you quickly moved the platter across the counter. He didn’t respond to your comments as he placed them on the outermost edge so that they looked like rays of sun emanating from a multicolored core. Adorable.
“Will you be around much, then?”
You made eye contact with him across the counter. On his perfect face was a teasing smirk and a subtle blush. Ah, you’d been mistaken, writing off his silence as concentration—he’d been contemplating how to best flirt with you.
“Y’know. In case I need any help teaching her cuss words,” he appended.
It was then your turn to flush a couple shades darker. “Please don’t tell her mom.”
“I won’t, I won’t.” He walked around the perimeter of the counter until he was directly in front of you; the lavender and orange blossoms returned. “On one condition.”
Not even one hour on the job and he was already trying to blackmail you? You respected it. “Which is?”
As he shifted some of his weight onto the counter, something too shifted in his smile, giving it a quality that was every bit as hopeful as it was gentle.
It was then, while Lee Felix was looking at you like that, all dilated pupils and long lashes, when you predicted that he would one day break your heart. You predicted you’d let him.
“Be around,” he said simply.
It wasn’t a question or a demand. In hindsight, you think it was more akin to a birthday wish, ill-fated the moment it hit the air.
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II. has changed
Felix pulled Byeol’s hood up and over her ears, and you realized he was right about the winter coat getting too small for her—she looked like a bowling pin. You muffled your snort into your scarf.
“And what was the last rule again?” He asked, his breath puffing into the frigid afternoon in tiny clouds. Byeol sighed like she knew anything of the world’s woes.
“No barking at other kids,” came the sad reply, but a toothy smile spread across her face anyways when Felix nudged the underside of her chin. She loved when he did that.
“That’s my girl,” he hummed. “I believe in you.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you said, and the wounded look Felix shot you was like you’d just confessed to hating kittens. “Come on—she doesn’t have a good track record. I’m allowed to have my doubts.”
“I dunno what that means,” Byeol announced with admirable frankness, and then turned around and scurried down the porch stairs, scattering fun-sized footprints across the snowy streets.
As you braced yourself to follow her, Felix stopped you with a slip of his hand into the pocket of your puffer. His fingers first aligned with yours inside the insulated nylon, then chased the spaces in between. He leaned in close, placed a kiss on the apple of your cheek, another on the corner of your mouth. This brought a helpless smile to your face, too. He had a way of melting you and Byeol both.
“It’ll be fine,” he soothed. “A little barking never hurt anybody, baby.”
“Lix, last time somebody called animal control.”
“Ermm—a little barking never hurt most people.”
That winter, Byeol was four, and your relationship with Felix was about to turn two.
Funnily enough, you’d never figured out when your anniversary actually was. Felix wagered it was the day you met, as he knew he loved you the instant he saw you; you insisted it was months later, since it took both of you an entire winter break of open-ended flirting and informal dating to label yourselves for real. Imagine your horror when he showed up outside your college apartment on the last day of your fall semester, arms overflowing with flowers and gift bags brimming with your favorite things, the phrase “happy anniversary” on his lips three months before you perceived it to be. You’ve celebrated both days ever since.
You loved the ocean growing up. You didn’t get to visit it often, but when you did you would run up to the water’s very edge so that your toes dipped into the cold—and just stand there, observing, absorbing, until even the seam of your lips and the ends of your eyelashes were studded with crystals of seasalt. You found endless tranquility in its rhythmic whispers and unspeakable comfort in its oscillating waves, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.
Your fascination stemmed from the folktale your mother used to read to you before bed, about a sun goddess creating the earth. In the story, every component of nature was one of the sun’s beloved children. She allegedly loved them all, but you suspected the ocean was her favorite; it was obvious, the way she twinkled off its ebbing surface, the way every minuscule spot of light looked to you like a handprint of hers, left behind by eons of endless doting.
Felix reminded you of the ocean. Every day you grew more certain that you wanted to drown in him, to let his resonant voice and kind eyes sweep and keep you inside his depths. It was never salt that he pressed into your skin but warmth, stamped and sealed with caring hands and cautious lips. His deep whispers promised eternal love and temporary ecstasy and everything in between. You knew he would come back to you even if stranded in a different realm. And there was no questioning the goddess’ favoritism, either. The freckles on his face mirrored the sun’s very spots like an homage to his creator.
You didn’t love the ocean growing up, no. You had never loved before Felix.
The park was busy when the three of you arrived. Byeol and Felix recognized a few families as your aunt’s neighbors and hurried over to say hello. Your social butterflies. 
“I’ll be over there,” you called after them.
Felix stopped in his tracks, looked over his shoulder. It had started snowing lightly on your walk there, and snowflakes now sat atop his sable locks. He looked like a painting. “You okay?”
“Yes, yes.” You shooed them off. “Don’t worry about me. Go have fun.” 
With that, you withdrew to the sidelines, an unoccupied swingset adjacent to a baseball diamond covered in frost. 
Your baby cousin was brawny for her age, which you could’ve seen coming with how she was hauling at your hair two years ago, but even she couldn’t yet terrorize the playground without assistance. Who better to make her partner in crime than her favorite Bokkie? You couldn’t help but giggle as the two revolved around each other for the better part of an hour, Byeol’s smile colossal as she frolicked every which way, Felix’s smile worried but hopelessly endeared as he followed behind. He never let her leave his shadow. She never tried to.
It was there on those icy swings that you experienced a moment of strange clarity, like you’d broken the fourth wall of your own story. You could feel the winds of change blowing your hair across your shoulders. You were aware of time’s trickling from the gaps of your fingers like liquid mercury.
Your laughter dissipated to a bittersweet smile; your smile mellowed to dewy eyes. It seemed like just yesterday when Byeol was small enough to sit on your shoulders and Felix stepped into your kitchen for the first time. Now, she was scaling a rope ladder with the celerity of a crazed monkey while Felix hovered a wary hand by her waist. The muted sunlight caught on the silver rings he wore, particularly the thin, bright one on his middle finger. You had one just like it, adorning the same place. 
The last two years were the happiest of your life. Why couldn’t you remember where they went?
Lavender and orange blossoms announced your boyfriend’s arrival—that, and the sigh of fatigue that he expelled as he dropped into the swing next to you.
“I’m not cut out for this anymore.”
Byeol’s neighbor had temporarily relieved Felix of his post by taking her and his son to test out the seesaw, and you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town could hear her enthusiastic shrieking.
“You know how people walk their dogs?” You mused. “Some dogs walk their people. She’s one of them.”
For a moment, he could only stare in disbelief at the grin creeping across your face; then, he groaned in a way that could only mean you were right on the money. You gave his thigh a sympathetic pat.
“You’re whipped, my love. It’s okay.”
“Maybe a little,” he admitted, suddenly perking up. “Hey, no barking though.”
“Are we considering that a win nowadays?”
“Do you see animal control anywhere?”
“Good point.”
Felix monitored your expression during the quiet interval that ensued—saw through the melancholy curve of your lips, the pensive slant of your gaze. There was a red tinge to the whites of your eyes that hadn’t been there before.
You saw him reach for you in your periphery. His fingers brushed a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, remained there for three slow heartbeats, and then lifted away.
“Angel,” he murmured. “Talk to me.”
You shook your head. “It’s silly.”
“It’s not.” Not even ten seconds after the last time, he reached for you again, now to take your hand and bring it to his lap. “You know it’s not.”
“It’s just that—”
Felix thumbed over the ridges of your knuckles, his touch so gentle that it could’ve unraveled a chrysalis; it certainly unraveled you. You took a stabilizing breath.
“I wish could recognize my own happiness in the moment,” you sighed, “not just in retrospect. That way, even when it comes to an end, I’d still be able to look back and say with confidence that I was happy once. I’d like that, I think.”
His brows knit together as he processed your words, and, the next thing you knew, he left his swing trembling in his sudden absence and his trenchcoat became a black blur in the cold air.
Felix rested his elbows atop your knees as he knelt in front of you, cradled your face in his hands. He was achingly beautiful always, but you truly felt your breath swiped from your lungs at the new proximity of his ethereal features: petal-shaped eyes, wind-bitten cheeks, coral cupid’s bow. A painting.
“That’s easy enough,” Felix hummed. “How do you feel right now?”
You had zero agency in the smile this brought to your face. You wrapped your hands around his wrists, your answer quick, thoughtless. “Happy.”
He pressed his lips to the space between your eyes. “And now?”
“Happier.”
He pressed his lips to the curve of your jaw. “What about now?” 
“Even happier.”
His gaze flickered to his final destination, but you beat him to it, sealing your mouth against his with urgency. The kiss that followed was so intensely loving that your head went fuzzy. How was it that you felt his adoration for you even in his pliant lips, his velvet tongue? You ran your fingers through the part of his hair. You loved when you could feel the locks flutter back into place afterwards.
“GET A ROOM!”
You and Felix pulled away from one another, wearing matching expressions of bewilderment. Byeol was approximately five Newtons away from soaring off into the stratosphere, her legs jostling around as she clung to her seat for dear life. It seemed your neighbor had a very aggressive way of seesaw-maneuvering. It seemed your cousin had a very aggressive vocabulary.
“Where did she learn—?” The two of you began in unison, then shot your heads back towards each other.
“It had to be you.”
“Outrageous—you’re the Australian here!”
“You cuss like one too!”
“Because of you!”
“So we’re just lying now?”
“Well, yes.”
Felix cracked a smile—and then the two of you were dying of laughter, his right eye squinting closed and your forehead thudding onto his shoulder. You hardly managed to get out your next words. “We have to do something about her vernacular, don’t we?”
“Oh, badly,” he replied. “Badly.”
After you expended your giggles, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, blissful, glowing. “Thank you, baby.”
“What for?”
“Being my happiness.”
He angled your face back to his and kissed you once more, whispering I love you like it wasn’t enough that it graced your ears; he needed it embossed upon your flesh in permanent ink.
Your intermingled breaths floated up into the air like flare signals over a capsizing boat. Here marks the time we were happiest.
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III. (besides myself)
He’s blonde.
That’s the first thing you notice when you see your ex-boyfriend on your aunt’s porch: the slightly off-white color of his silky tresses, grown out longer than you’ve ever seen, pushed off his forehead and tucked behind his ears.
It’s not the only thing you notice, of course. His face has thinned ever so slightly, the shadows thrown over his features by the streetlights behind him particularly opaque. His outfit is glorious, expensive, with the black blazer and white dress shirt, the top two buttons undone, the pendant of a silver necklace resting between toned collarbones. His hands are almost overflowing with what must be gifts for your family. It’s impossible to discern all of them from this distance, but you know the bouquet of white poinsettias is for your mom, the batch of brownies doused in sprinkles and icing for Byeol.
But the hair is where your gaze returns, because tucked among the platinum strands are black roots: millimeters of the color you grew to adore, peeking out as if trying to catch a glimpse of you, too.
You’re so occupied with this game of “I spy” that you don’t notice the rampant footsteps coming up behind you. Your six-year-old cousin collides with the back of your leg head-on and nearly topples you like a bowling pin.
“Is it him?” She asks breathlessly.
You come this close to berating her as you steady yourself against the wall—what did I say about treating human beings like couch cushions? But you look down to see her chin resting on the side of your thigh, her eager eyes shining so brightly that she puts her own namesake to shame. Your scolding tirade dissolves on your tongue like popping candy.
You simply sigh instead. “Yes, but—”
“BOKKIE!” She shrieks, and Felix’s head snap upwards at the sound of her voice. His tender smile melts some of the frost laminating your heart.
You crack open the door, making eye contact with Felix for the first time in six months.
“Put everything down. Quickly,” you whisper, and he obeys right away, alarmed by the urgency in your voice. A wise choice.
The last present has hardly touched down upon the wooden planks when Byeol wriggles through the doorway and charges towards Felix like an angered toro. He swivels at her bright holler of his name, lowers himself to a squat just barely in time to catch her in his embrace. The delighted laugh that leaves his mouth as he staggers backwards sounds like the sun itself; you feel lost in orbit hearing it again.
“Bokkie,” Byeol murmurs, her voice muffled in the dip of his shoulder, by the tightening of her arms around his neck.
“Hi, princess.” He kisses her temple, presses his nose against her hair. “Whoa, you’ve grown strong, haven’t you?”
“She takes taekwondo classes now,” you hum from above, and the shock in his face asks the very question that your poignant smile confirms. Yes, because of you.
Felix pulls away, cocoons her cheeks with cherishing hands. “Is that true?”
She bobs her head. “I want to be like Bokkie.”
And his eyes go impossibly, terribly soft, like he’s gazing at the horizon itself. The sight twists the knife in your gut and yanks on your tangled heartstrings. It’s all because of you.
“And kick some ass!” Byeol adds, knocking you out of your sentimental spiral. You clap a defeated hand to your forehead. Felix falls over himself. So much for fixing her vernacular.
A few minutes later, Byeol is pirouetting towards the kitchen with a couple of Felix’s smaller presents in her arms, all too happy to be of help. You linger behind as Felix takes off his shoes, your cousin’s departure leaving the two of you alone in the dim foyer.
Felix straightens. The two of you come face to face. The air hangs so heavily with unspoken words that you half expect it to start dripping.
“Hi,” he says.
You nearly laugh at the cruelty of it. The man you were certain you’d grow old with greeting you like you’ve been forced to sit next to each other on the first day of school.
“Hi,” you answer. “You look—”
The two of you say this last part in unison; old habits die hard.
“—nice,” you finish.
“—beautiful,” Felix breathes, his eyes flicking off to the side abashedly.
Your throat constricts, pulse quickens. Says you. If he was a painting before, you think he’s a sculpture now, his perfection as tangible as if hand-chiseled by the greatest artists of old. As clear as the sun’s beloved sea. You can’t tell if it’s his stylist’s doing or simply a product of him growing into himself.
“Thank you,” you reply quietly. “And thank you for coming.”
“Thank you for inviting me. I didn’t think you would.”
“I didn’t do it for me.”
No part of you wants to see the subtle wince that crosses his face at your statement, so you turn your gaze to his jewelry-laden hands instead. 
For a split second, you swear you see the same promise ring settled in the same place on his middle finger. You realize what you’re really looking at only after blinking the phosphenes from your eyes: the thin tanline that it left behind. The realization fixes and destroys you all at once.
Then, Byeol starts wailing about Felix’s whereabouts like an actress hired to spare you from this very interaction.
“Her Highness beckons.” The smile you manage feels like drying cement. “Shall we?”
On your way to the kitchen, you notice the cologne emanating from his person smells only of citrus—no lavender. Its absence steadies you, deludes you into believing that it’s a stranger you’ve just let inside.
That illusion lasts for exactly three hours and forty-eight minutes.
It’s clear that the breakup has your family walking on eggshells, but it’s even clearer that their adoration for Felix has never wavered. You’ve never resigned yourself to the restroom so many times in one night, only to stand with your back against the door, unmoving, unfeeling, listening to the low thrum of his voice through the mahogany. Chatting comfortably with your aunt, bursting into laughter with Byeol, reminding you of the time you considered him family too. 
With every glance you toss your reflection, you discover new cracks in your composure. Has he noticed them yet?
After you come out of the restroom for the sixth time, you notice a light spilling from Byeol’s bedroom into the hallway. A low Australian accent graces your ears, followed closely by a tinkling giggle, and your body nudges you towards the sounds before your head can intervene.
You give your cousin’s door a feather-light nudge. It opens a few centimeters more and grants you vision of Byeol tucked into bed, Felix knelt at her side. Both of their faces are illuminated by the flaxen light of the nearby lamp.
Felix brushes her choppy bangs out of her eyes, a teasing smile on his lips. “Can I tell you a secret, princess?”
This wrests from her another fluttering laugh; you swear he’s the only person in the whole world who makes her shy. “Sure!”
“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“Promise.”
“Not even Snernard.”
“M’kay.”
“Or Bong.”
“M’kay.”
“Especially not Trash the chicken. I don’t trust him.”
“I know, I know, I won’t!” Byeol huffs, and Felix laughs at her outburst. You also snort into your sleeve, amused (and deeply perplexed) by your cousin’s plushie-naming conventions.
“Thank you,” he hums, and he lowers his voice enough that you don’t catch the next thing he says.
All you perceive is the way that Byeol reacts. She sits up straight in bed, resting her back against her pillow. Her features rearrange themselves slowly, awfully, like the spread of cherry-flavored cough syrup over one’s sore throat, into the furthest thing from her trademark too-big-for-her-face smile.
Your stomach plummets to your fucking ankle.
“Why?” Her voice sounds microscopic.
“Well, do you remember what Bokkie’s dream job is?”
Byeol considers for a moment. “Being a singer?”
“That’s right.” He runs a knuckle over the hill of her cheek, the action achingly familiar, immensely fond. “And I found a place where I can do that, but it’s very, very far away. I won’t be able to come home very often.”
The telltale signs appear as he speaks; the final word sets them into motion. A tear streaks down the side of Byeol’s face. It hardly leaves the corner of her eye before it’s being intercepted by a doting swipe of his thumb.
“No,” she replies.
“You've grown so much.” Another tear falls. He wipes away that one, too. “You’re growing so well.”
“No,” she repeats.
“You’ve stolen the light of every star in the sky already. The whole galaxy will be yours someday, sweetheart. I know it.”
“I don’t want it,” she whispers. “I want my Bokkie.”
His vision starts to blur also. “But you don’t need me anymore.”
“We do.”
You know the precise moment Felix’s heart pauses in his chest because it is when yours does too.
“We?” He repeats, and she nods.
“Your dream job is being a singer.” Now Byeol is the one to reach for Felix, her delicate hand cupping the curve of his cheek. Her fingers are too small to catch his tears, she tries anyways—
“But what is your dream?”
It becomes too much for you.
You turn around. A choked sob escapes from behind the hand you have sealed to your mouth, causing both heads inside Byeol’s room to whirl in your direction. You don’t care that you nearly break both of your ankles beelining up the stairs; you only care to get the fuck out of that hallway.
You topple into your room, close the door behind you, and crumble.
Your quivering hands find purchase around your folded legs; your eyes squeeze shut against your knees. Rivulets of tears cascade over your shuddering lips like ruptured barrels of wine, left in the cellars of your soul to age, to spoil.
You never wanted your grief to see the light of day. Pouring your regret over every sidewalk wouldn’t change the past. Splashing your heartache across every wall like the world’s most fucked-up mural wouldn’t alleviate the pain of losing him. He was the one who left, but you were the one who’d asked him to. Feeling, yearning, mourning. Those always seemed so futile.
But you’re not just crying in this moment, rocking back and forth on your bedroom floor; you’re bleeding, the wounds you never treated igniting all at once as if exposed to vinegar, leaving you writhing and gasping in their wake. How you wish they’d been able to heal sooner. Maybe then seeing Felix tonight wouldn’t have splintered your soul like dropped porcelain.
Your door clicks open. Your breath hitches in your throat with a quiet scratch. The gulp of oxygen you intake tastes of oranges.
Every night before you fall asleep, you still think of the last time you visited the sea. The cool sand chafing against your toes, the coarse winds slapping your hair against your face hard enough to sting. The weather was terrible (you neglected to check the forecast before making the drive), but when you stepped onto the embittered coastline, you took what felt like the first real breath of your young adulthood. The fog melded to your skin as if melting a blindfold away, showing you the world in its entirety.
You return to that beach when Felix pulls you into his chest, and there’s no fog this time. Just the faint smell of lavender and your ocean, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.
Feverishly, Felix presses his lips to your temple, the apple of your cheek, rests his forehead against yours. Brokenly, he utters, “it’s you.”
You can feel his shaking in every part of him: the tickling breath, the fluttering eyelashes, the unsteady hand that reaches into the pocket of his blazer. You graze your fingers over his jaw, an attempt to steady his careening heart, only to lose yours in the fray also when he produces a small red box of unmistakable dimensions.
“God, it’s you. It always has been, always will be. Anything can change except for this.” His voice disintegrates as he speaks. You disintegrate as you listen. “Everything has changed besides myself.”
Felix leans back in to pepper kisses across the expanse of your wet features, then brings himself to one fated knee. He flicks open the lid. You don’t even spare the ring a glance; you don’t doubt its perfection. All you care to look at is the love of your life, deliquesced to adoration and tearwater.
“Thank you for being around, my dream.” His soft smile tends to your scars like ambrosia. “Will you let me do the same?”
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© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support!
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lixie-phoria · 1 year
Text
ੈ✩‧ 🎀🩰 ➛ felix thinks he's subtle as he pines over you
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pairing : felix x gn reader
genre : fluff | warnings : none
chan's ver. | hyunjin's ver. | jeongin's version | lee know's ver. | changbin's version | han's ver.
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"felix can you please concentrate?"
the idol startles at the comment, looking up from his phone to see the boys staring at him expectantly.
"oh, right," he sheepishly mumbles, placing his phone up side down reluctantly as chan goes back to briefing them on the likely plans of their latest comeback. but felix's heart wasn't in it.
he couldn't help himself when his right leg started bouncing unconsciously and he chewed at the inside of his cheek.
why hadn't you acknowledged the flowers he had sent over to your place over an hour ago? he knew the florist was only a 5 minutes drive from your place, so there was no way you hadn't received them yet.
felix was in love with you, and everyone seemed to know it except for you. but in your defense, he'd never tried to explicitly make a move. he instead resorted to sending you flowers everyday. every evening when you reached home from work, there would be a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers you had ever seen waiting for you at your doorstep. everyday was a new flower with their meaning attached and signed by 'your secret admirer'.
it was adorable and the most touching gesture someone had done for you in a while, and you would thank the sender everyday by storying the flowers or tweeting about them. felix had been waiting for this acknowledgement for the past half an hour, thumb growing sore as he refreshed his notifications every two seconds.
did you not like the flowers he sent this time? were you okay? did you reach home safe?
"felix, if you really want to know if y/n received the flowers or not, just text them about it?"
felix startled for what seemed like the 100th time that day, meeting hyunjin's eyes defiantly.
"if i do that, then they would know i sent it to them."
"isn't that the whole point?"
"no."
all 7 of them collectively let out a sigh. this had been going on for months.
chan understood felix's plight, though. he'd been in a similar position himself.
the elder shook his head, subtly pulling out his own phone and typing in a quick message to you.
[ chan ] hi yn :)) which flower did your secret admirer send this time?
it was an innocent question, since you usually updated chan about the flowers first.
you immediately read his message, but when you didn't reply chan furrowed his brows.
but the next second felix jumped up from his chair, a giddy smile pulling at his lips and scaring han half out of his mind.
"they tweeted about it!! they said they loved them and it made their day better."
what felix failed to notice was the little sun emoji you had used when you tweeted about the flowers; an emoji you explicitly used only when talking about or to felix.
oh, so you knew.
how you knew, they weren't sure, but the boys did not have the heart to tell felix that for all his efforts, turns out he hadn't been subtle at all.
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©lixie-phoria, 2023
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miniversse · 28 days
Text
⭑ “flaws and all” ⭑
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⭑ bang chan x female reader
⭑ content includes: sex, oral (f receiving, m receiving), releasing, weed, body insecurity, scars, established relationship, non idol chan, non idol reader, pet names (baby, channie), build up
⭑ note: if you want to jump to the nsfw content, i have placed a dash indicating the beginning of it, but the build up is worth it! (this piece is low key chan worship hshshs)
⭑ minors dni
⭑——————————————————⭑
it was 02:34 am. you and chan lay in his bed, the dim purple light of his room illuminating his peaceful face. the room smelt of your boyfriends weed and black musk fragrance, two scents intertwined with one another in your mind. his raspy voice makes an appearance over the faint music playing…
“what do you love me for, y/n?”
his question pierced the silence between you, and you answer him with as much honesty as your physical state can offer.
“a lot chan, a lot. maybe your voice, your face, your personality, your dedication, your patience, your love. a lot”
he turns to face you, eyes red and heavier than ever, but oh prettier than ever. the corner of his lips slightly curve upwards for a slight second and he fidgets with his earring. you didn’t lie when you said those things to him. no matter what chan did, he was perfect to you.
“so… you’re telling me you don’t care about the scar on my back? my unhealthy addiction to weed? my anger issues you have to deal with? my unbelievably long work hours? my body changes?” he takes another smoke of his rolled joint, ironically, before continuing. “i mean, i don’t know. there’s a lot of shit you don’t have to deal with, ‘yknow?”
“i know chan, but people aren’t close-minded like that. of course i see more good in you than bad”
“but that’s the thing y/n, i don’t want you to see bad in me”
“baby” you stop to place a hand on his hair, raising his bangs up only for them to fall back down.
“i love you, flaws and all”
-
it’s almost like a spell was casted as he grabs you and places you above his body, connecting his lips with yours. they felt warm and plush as always. his kisses were hungry and full, taking you all in with every time you connected. his tounge dances with yours, the sounds of your make out session bounce across his walls. he kissed you until he couldn’t breathe anymore. disconnecting
from you with a string of saliva.
the way his eyes looked into yours spoke enough for you to understand how much he appreciated you. he grabs your neck from behind, lowering your head down to make your ear parallel to his lips.
“if you love me flaws and all, show me. yeah?” he whispers to make sure only you could hear him. he plants a kiss on your ear before letting you go, letting you be free, letting you do everything you desire to do, because you fucking loved him.
within a few swift moves, you both remained in your undergarments, making out again while you touch around his member, feeling it harden and rise.
“let me get on my knees”
he lets out a breathy chuckle as you get down to the cold floor on your knees, waiting for him to adjust by the edge of the bed. the music had stopped by now, but the drunk party goers outside filled the silence, and soon will your moans
your fingers wrap around the hem of his boxers, sliding down the fabric that was in a losing game with his cock. you couldn’t wait and so couldn’t he, so you begin to lick the precum forming from his swollen cock. his head darts back quickly, using you hair as a handle. your tongue glides down and up, until he’s fully coated with your saliva. your mouth then takes his cock in, struggling to fit it all. but chan begins to thrust his hips, forcing it down your throat. he whines and moans endlessly.
“mmh, baby. fuh-king shit.”
you pick up the pace, knowing that pulsating was signaling his release. your tongue glides over his member while your mouth reaches to the end of its length, gagging through the process. and at last, your mouth felt warm and heavy with his release. you swallowed it whole, licking any excess off of him.
“shit, shit, shit, fuuckk.” his jaw was fixated on being open as his head fell back, the veins on his neck making an appearance.
“baby you’re, mh, so good”
“i can be better”
you push him back up to the mattress, laying on top of him and letting him strip you bare. his fingers left hot trails where ever he touched you. and both your cores were empty and desperate. your hand makes way to his back, tracing his scar several times until chans eyes grew heavier, and hungrier.
“leave it baby, focus on me”
“it’s apart of you, channie. no one else can have such beautiful marks”
he licks his lips and smiles, his cheeks turn a soft pink, and you know you’ve brought him back to the chan you know.
he guides your waist closer to his member, raising your body above his cock and looking into your eyes for any hesitation, but they only showed love and desperation to have him inside you. he pushes your body down and you synchronize in grunts and moans. he stretches you out while passionately placing kisses on your chest. his hunger doesn’t hold back as he helps you ride his lower torso.
“y-you’re flaws make me love you even more. in my eyes, th-they are perfect imperfections-s”
he didn’t stop to react or to say anything, rather he took more control of you, making you slam into him faster, harder and more lovingly. you moaned into his ears and he did the same. chan would whimper from time to time, and it made you reach your climax even faster.
“come with m-me baby, ok?” he groans into your ear
“mmh, but i’m a-almost there”
“y-yeah, a-almost there”
his hands give in, and he leaves the rest to you. you’re legs begin to shake and your bodies prepare to release. you slam into him one last time, and your arousals commence together, your releases dripping out of your pussy. he lifts your body off and lays you down on the mattress, his head moving down to your swollen, pulsating pussy.
“let me taste us”
his tongue follows a straight, strict path from your vagina to your clit, taking pauses to swallow whatever gathers in his mouth. your eyes roll to the back of your head as he sucks and licks cluelessly. with no shame whatsoever, you come again and straight into chans mouth. his laugh vibrates in your pussy as you moan sweet nothings to him.
it’s back to how it was, except it was 03:11am, you and chan lay in his bed, naked. the dim red light of his room illuminating his flushed face. the room smelt of sex, your boyfriends weed and black musk fragrance, three scents intertwined with one another in your mind. his quite snores keep you up all night, but so does your tireless finger tracing every curve of his body.
“you’re art, chan”
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euphroseia · 1 year
Text
The Strongest
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Felix x gn!reader
Word count: 868 words
Genre: non-idol!au, angst
Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of liquor intoxication, not mentioned but implied suicide
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If you liked my writing, please give me a reblog. I’d appreciate it and it will help me a lot! You can also let me know your thoughts about the story here. Thank youuuu! 💗
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“Would it have been better if I was the one who died and not her?” You ask the person on the other side of the phone as you stare at nothing but darkness; you question but you don’t want to hear the answer. Wandering over the thoughts that have lingered in your brain, getting lost in the feelings that cling to your heart that will never leave you anymore. You don’t want them to leave either, because after all, they’re the only ones who stayed and remained with you.
Losing your sister was hard for you too, but why do they act and make you feel as if you should have died in her place instead? You almost died as well, you were in that accident too. Months of therapy, both physical and mental, did not help at all. The injuries healed, but the random pain on different parts of your body when the nights are cold? They are still with you. The memories of your sister slowly losing her breath barging into your dreams after finally being able to sleep? They never left. They hunted you and you are sure they will keep on hunting you as long as you are alive.
It was not your fault, it wasn’t anyone in your car’s fault. The driver of the truck that bumped into your car was drunk, and you? You were driving safely and observing traffic rules properly. You have always been a careful driver.
The truck driver has already been jailed. Your relatives and everyone close to you and your sister have seen the footage of what happened, but still, they chose to make you get eaten up by guilt.
You never believed them, of course, even if you have to swallow all the painful words and blames your family has thrown at you. You know the truth, you were there and after recovering, you saw the CCTV footage where the accident had occurred as well. But when the person you least expected to, heck, you never once did, told you that it was your fault his girlfriend died, you can’t help but believe that if it weren’t for you, she would still be here with him.
“This is all your fucking fault, Y/N.” His words felt more painful than a stab piercing directly into your heart. Twisting the knife from left to right, making you bleed until you lose all your blood. The strong facade you had to build with the courage you weren’t even sure you had, crumpled down as soon as you heard what Felix said. Felix doesn’t sound mad, but you know he is. You know him very well, maybe more than how your sister knew him; after all, he is your best friend. You can feel his wrath even on the other side of the phone.
He knows you very well too. You won’t even doubt it if he says he knows you more than you know yourself. And that is why, that is why, hearing him say those words has made you question everything you knew and saw. Maybe it was really your fault. If you were not the one who picked up your older sister from the airport, then maybe she would still be here with all of you; or at least what they want, with them.
“Would things be better if I am gone?” You asked again, but this time, you rephrase the question. As much as you don’t want him to answer, you couldn’t care less anymore. Surviving what happened to you and your sister, is death itself. What’s the point of living when everyone is slowly trying to kill you.
You heard him sob. You want him to say no, you need him to. Maybe you said everyone made you feel they wish you died instead of your sister, but Felix? He didn’t. He visited you in the hospital while you were recovering and taking your therapies. Felix brought food to your apartment when he called and you told him you weren’t hungry even if it has been days since you last ate. He was the only reason you stayed, and if the only reason finally slips away from your hand too, then continuing is not an option anymore.
“Y-yes. Yes” He sobbed more and more, cries echoing through the phone; it was so loud, you can’t hear anything else. But what he said was clearer than any crystal, despite him stuttering.
You felt the last string tied onto you and Felix, connecting you two together, snapped. You are not even exaggerating for hearing your heart get torn apart. But you were glad he found the courage to tell you that. It must have been so excruciating for him to take care of the person behind his lover’s death. Hearing him tell you what he really was feeling, means he doesn’t want to lie to you anymore.
“Okay, Felix. Thank you and I love you. Things will start getting better now,” were the last words you mustered before ending the call.
He was courageous for telling you the truth, but you were the strongest for enduring everything and holding on for as long as you could.
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skzstannie · 4 months
Text
“What about Ben?”
SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader
genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~4,800 cw: reader has a panic attack and depression, Ben is ur lil bro
summary: your mom isn’t happy about your absence at your brother’s birthday party, but she takes her anger a step too far this time
A/N: Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone has a blessed 2024! Part 2s for both the Felix and the Han fic are underway, so send me an ask if you’d like to be added to the tag list for either of them!
Happy Scrolling! | Masterlist
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"Mom, you know I can't just up and leave! What are you expecting me to do?"
You find yourself having the same conversation with your parents time and time again- they want you to come home, you can't come home, then they give you the silent treatment for a period of time until they want you to come home for something else.
It's mentally exhausting, having to deal with their constant negative remarks towards you job. You only do it for your little brother; him growing up without you is not in the cards for you. In fact, that's what this argument you're having with your mom is about this time.
"I expect you to put your family first for once in your life!" your mother yells back. You flinch, pulling the phone away from your ear.
"Mom, you know I wouldn't miss Ben's birthday unless I absolutely have to. I want to be there for him, I really do!" your words do little to convince her as she already has her mind made up about the type of person you are.
"This has happened one too many times. Missing the occasional family gathering is one thing, but it’s your brother's birthday." Her disgust easily wafts through the speaker of your phone, and you bite your lip to keep from absolutely lashing out at her.
Your parents were never understanding of your job. They always expected you to just pack up your bags and fly home for the smallest of things.
Your baby cousin said her first words? "Why aren't you here?"
Your little brother lost another tooth? "Why would you want to miss this important milestone?"
Your grandma got a new dog? "What kind of heartless person denies their grandparents?"
Over and over, you've been criticized for your job. You give them the same explanation each time, as it's the truth.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I want to be there; I really really do. It's just that-"
"Always with the excuses. Ya know what? I'm tired of the excuses," she pauses and your breath hitches in your throat.
"Ma?" your voice is choked up, and you find your lip wobbling from where it's pulled between your mouth.
Your mother sighs, her disappointment evident. "We're done with the excuses, Y/N. If you can't be here for us, I don't think this is going to work out."
You swear your heart stops upon hearing her words. "What do you mean?" the laugh you let out is far from humorous. It's desperate. "How could it not work out? I'm your daughter, there's nothing to work out. You're supposed to love me and care for me, unconditionally."
"You've crossed the line too many times. Don't try to spin this around and make me the bad guy. This is completely your fault, you and those stupid boys."
Your parents could talk trash about you all they want, but you never let them get away with saying stuff about your boys. "You can belittle me, argue with me, call me every name in your book, but I will not let you talk about the guys like that. They're my family, too," your almost able to catch yourself, but you realize your mistake far too late.
"Oh, yea? Well, if those guys are your family, why not spend the rest of your time with them, too. It’s not like you weren’t already planning to anyway. Spend your holidays with them, your birthdays with them. He’ll, what do you even need us for?”
Tears well in your eyes, a mix of anger and fear swelling deep in your gut. "Mom, you know that's not what I meant." You’re completely choked up, your words coming out just above a whisper in volume.
You've had fights, but they never go as far as this. Usually, your mom would've hung up by now, leaving you with nothing but radio silence for months on end.
As toxic as this is, she's your mom. You couldn't live this life without her. She's toxic now, using your vulnerability against you every chance she gets, but she wasn't always that way.
She was once a loving mother, one who packed your lunch every morning for school, sending you off with a kiss on your cheek. A mom who'd pay extra to get more of your school pictures so she could put them on her desk at work and in her car. She used to show her love for you as any mother does, but you havent felt that in so long.
The last time you were home was a little over two months ago, and not once did she hug you, kiss you, or even touch you. She was cold and emotionless towards you.
You should've seen it coming. All this tension building up for months on end, it was going to have to bottom out eventually.
As much as the above is true, the words that flew out her mouth next shocked you beyond belief, causing the tears to flow freely from your waterline.
"Don't come back home, Y/N. I'm serious. You've done too much damage to my family." There’s a beeping on the other end of the phone, and it drops from your shaking hand to the carpeted floor beneath you.
Don't come back?
You were always sorry, apology after apology leaving your lips when you had to miss something your family organized. You thought it'd be okay. Your mom would get over herself eventually, and you'd come home when the company allowed you to.
You pick up the phone, hands a trembling mess, and call back, praying for another chance to explain yourself. You’re met with an automated message, the robotic voice piercing your ear.
"I'm sorry, this customer is unavailable."
You hang up and call again. She wouldn't have blocked you. It was just a silly fight, right?
"I'm sorry, this customer is-" you hang up before the message finishes, throwing your phone onto the floor next to you.
Your sobs become audible, and your body crumbles onto the floor, your knees thankful for the soft surface the carpet provides. Your fingers claw at the skin around your eyes, looking for a relief from the emotional pain coursing through your body.
Red lines mark your face, leaving the areas tender and puffy.
Your heart constricts in betrayal.
How could she?
She raised you, gave birth to you. How was it so easy for her?
The thought of your little brother enters your jumbled thoughts, and your heart breaks further.
He’s only six years old, and he is the best little brother you could ever ask for. He loves with all his heart, and you are lucky enough to get to experience it, to be apart of that little circle he could wrap his arms around and squeeze with all his might.
The thought of never squishing his chubby cheeks again destroys you, and you're unable to express the amount of heartache you're feeling.
So you scream.
You scream loud, your emotions ripping through your throat like shards of glass through skin.
You’re too distraught to notice the door to your bedroom whipping open. Chan and Minho stand there in the doorway, their eyes wide and mouths agape.
They've never seen you like this before. They've never seen anybody like this before, actually. Your screams are manic as they bounce off the walls around you, echoing around the room.
Once their shock dies off, they rush over to you. Minho is gentle in his grip but firm as he pries your hands away from your face. He gasps when he sees the damage your nails have already done, your once soft features now blotchy with angry red streaks.
You continue to scream, your nails now digging into Minho's arm. Chan grabs you from behind, doing his best to soothe you out of your hysteria.
"Y/N, you have to calm down. Please, it's ok, shhh," he says, his hold around you tight in an attempt to give you some sense of security.
"What happened? Can you talk to us?" you ignore Minho.
They accept that you're too worked up too answer them, and they let you finish your episode, the two of them doing everything they can to try and soothe you.
The rest of the guys in the dorm stand in the doorway now, your cries too agonizing for them to ignore. Varying degrees of shock are spread across their faces as they watch.
Chan starts to mumble sweet words to you as you come out of your panic attack, your brain finally able to register your surroundings again.
“It hurts,” you whimper, chest aching. “It’s so hard to breathe.”
"It's ok, we're here," he repeats, his head pressed up against the side of yours.
"Tell us five things you can see right now," Minho says from beside you, his grip still tight around your sweaty hands.
Your voice is scratchy, your throat red and scarred from your screams, but you oblige, knowing this will help you ground yourself. "I see my alarm clock," your eyes scan your room, landing on the bright digital clock you have sitting on your bedside table.
"Good," he hums, "What else?"
Your eyes travel to the door and you see the scared faces of the rest of your members. You lock in on Felix, his hands clenched tightly in front of him as salty tears stream down his face.
"I see Felix," you whisper, the pain from your throat becoming more and more noticeable.
He nods his head. "Good, now three more things. What else do you see?"
You look to your opened closet, your eyes catching the way your clothes spill out of your messy dresser onto your floor. "I see my favorite hoodie. I see my curtains, and I see that stain on my wall."
"Perfect, Y/N. Take a few deep breaths now." You breathe with Minho, your erratic breaths eventually matching his steady ones.
Finally calmed down enough, you slump back into Chan's hold, completely exhausted from the panic attack.
The room is silent for a moment, all the guys letting you have a second to gather your bearings.
"What happened?" Changbin steps through the rest of the members, settling next to the three of you on the floor. The rest follow suit, some sitting on your bed and some sitting beside Changbin.
"It's my mom again. I don't even know, I think she like, kicked me out? Like, kicked me out of the family?" You're almost embarrassed to explain the situation. You don't know why, maybe in fear your members will think your mom's right. That maybe you have been missing too many family functions, and that you should’ve made more time for them.
"Y/N, that's awful," hums of agreeance come throughout the room, and Hyunjin's words help to reassure you. "You don't deserve that, not one bit."
"She's completely out of line. Nothing you did warranted this at all," Seungmin chimes in. He knows thoughts of uncertainty are swirling through your head, the gaslighting from your mother turning your thoughts to mush.
"What about Ben?"
"What about him? You know your mom's full of shit, and the minute you show up at her doorstep she'll welcome you in. She's bluffing," Changbin pipes up again, his shoulders tight with anger.
"I don't think she is this time."
~ ~ ~
It's another day, and you've spent it the exact same way you spent the last five- curled up in your bed with the lights off, mindlessly scrolling through your phone.
Chan's come in to check on you periodically, but you’ve been alone for the most part.
The knock at your door alerts you from your sleepy state, and you call them in.
“Hey, I brought you some soup. Minho made it earlier today, and I figured you might be hungry,” Chan says, giving you a timid smile.
“Thanks, Chan, but I’m not really hungry right now. Can you just set it there?” You point to the little table you have at the end of your bed, “I’ll eat it later, I promise.”
Your phone starts to ring, and you gasp when you see who’s calling.
Dad
You pick up immediately, and you’re met with the distant yells of your parents. Confused, you ask, “Hello, Dad?”
“Sissy,” comes through. It’s Ben. His voice is small, and fear seeps through the speaker.
“Buddy, what’s wrong?” You keep your tears at bay, knowing you need to be strong for him. Chan sits down beside you when he hears the little voice you’re talking to, and he rubs your back in comfort.
“Mom and Dad are fighting again,” he sniffles, the microphone personifying every bit of his sadness. “I miss you, Sissy.”
“I miss you, more, buddy, but I don't think we're gonna be able to see each other for a while," you choke back sobs.
“But I miss you so much,” he’s crying harder now, and it’s hard to hold yourself together knowing he’s struggling like he is.
“I know, buddy, I know. I’m so sorry I missed your birthday, I couldn’t get a day off work,” you explain. Chan brings his finger up to your cheek, catching your tear before it’s able to fall from your cheek.
You hear Ben gasp, and your heart beat picks up. “Ben, is everything ok? What happened?”
“Mommy’s coming, and I have to go. She told me I couldn’t talk to you, but I stole Dad’s phone. Love you, sissy,” and he’s gone before you can even say it back.
Chan eventually leaves your side upon your request to be alone for a while. The soup beside your bed grows cold as your sadness overwhelms you once again.
~ ~ ~ "Alright, rise and shine!" you're awoken from your slumber by the bright light shining in from your window. You groan, throwing your pillow over your head to block the light. Your curtains hadn’t been opened in weeks, and you were planning on keeping it that way for as long as possible.
"Nope," the intruder says, ripping the pillow from off your face.
"We've allowed you to wallow in this room long enough. If we're not performing or doing an interview, you're laying in the dark in bed." Your eyes open, crusty and sore from the crying you did before falling asleep the night before.
Hyunjin's face paints your irises, his features full of determination.
"Time to get up." He throws your pillow back on the bed beside you, turning to walk out your door. "Oh, and pack a bag, we're flying somewhere today."
You shoot up in bed at that. "Nothing's on the schedule for today, so where are we going?”
‘Is it something I can get out of?’ is what you really want to say, but you keep it to yourself.
"It’s a surprise. Get up and get dressed, we leave in an hour," he finishes, closing the door behind him.
You slide out of bed, your limbs dragging your covers onto the floor. You don't bother picking them up, too tired to care about the messy appearance of your room.
You quickly get ready, throwing on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You pull your hair up into a ponytail, attempting to hide the grease that's accumulated over the past few days.
The ride to the airport is quiet and relatively peaceful. Everyone's happy to see you up and moving again, but the facade you've been putting on for the public has been washed away in your tired state, leaving your features drowsy. The dark circles under your eyes are prominent, your cheekbones sticking out more than usual. Your hair’s thinned a little, and your lips are cracked from your lack of hydration.
Through security and the rest of the way through the airport, you grip Jisung's arm, both of you needing the other's support in the overcrowded building.
Chan had explained to you that the managers wanted to start filming for the next SKZ Code a day early, fearing it might take longer than expected.
When you see the television next to your boarding terminal, your eyes practically bug out of your head.
Why would you be filming the next SKZ Code in your hometown?
That's the last place you want to go, your fight with your mom still fresh in your mind. You've been feeling the affects of it, her harsh words and actions sending you deep into a depressive episode.
Your members have noticed, trying their best to pull you from it, but nothing they did seem to work.
They can't begin to sympathize with you, none of them ever experiencing the kind of hurt you feel deep in your heart, wreaking havoc on your sanity. All they can do is offer you words of encouragement and love, assuring you that you still have a family, a very real one. While the nine of you may not be related by blood, the bond between all of you is strong.
They decided to take their efforts one step further, however, after seeing you begin to spiral. Your naps became longer and more frequent, often taking up most of the time you were supposed to be awake. You had been neglecting your self care routine, not even having enough energy to shower and brush your teeth most days.
Chan decided that enough is enough, so he convinced the managers to book you all a flight to your hometown to try and reconcile your family. As much as they wanted your mom out of your life, you were much more sane with her in it, and you needed your dad and your brother.
~ ~ ~
The flight was a success, everything going perfectly smooth.
You're now squished into the backseat of a car on the way to the house you'll all be staying at for the remainder of the filming.
The first thing you notice when pulling up into the driveway is how beautiful the house is. The front yard has the most angelic archways leading up to the house, with flowers lining the sidewalk and little statues spread about.
The house itself is amazing. Tall glass windows cover most of the front, the sunlight easily shining through, lighting up the front room.
The five of you- Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, I.N, and yourself- make your way into the house, and all of your previous worries disappear at the sight of the incredible interior. The walls are lined with expensive looking art, chandeliers hang from the tall ceilings, and the floors are marbled with white and gray.
Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, and Seungmin went to the store in the other van. They said they needed to pick up some last minute essentials for your stay.
Little did you know, they were actually going to your parents house. Their hopes were to get your mother to forgive you, or at least be civil so you could have a conversation with her.
Unfortunately, their visit did not go as planned, and it ended with your mother threatening to call the cops on them if they didn't leave the property immediately. This, of course, did not deter Lee Know from giving her a piece of his mind. His outburst was in Korean, and the insults he threw at her were so quick she'd never be able to recall them to look them up in a translator.
As much as they wanted to stay, to defend you and help you get your family back, they knew they couldn't. Getting law enforcement involved was the last thing they needed, knowing their managers would immediately regret sending them on this short getaway.
So, with that, they went back to the house with anger embedded in their hearts. They didn't want to have to tell you the real reason you all came here. They didn't know how you would react. Would you be thankful they tried to help? Would you feel betrayed that they'd went to your home without permission? They didn't know, but it was time to face the music; there was no SKZ Code to film, and they had no shopping bags in hand, so the truth was going to have to come out.
"Y/N," Chan sighs as he plops down next to you on the couch. You're both seated in the sunroom, looking out at the lake that sits in the backyard.
He gets your attention, and you slide your phone in your hoodie pocket, turning your body to face him. "What's up?"
He hates that he has to be the one to bring up your family again. You look so peaceful, your face no longer contorted with sorrow and pain like it'd been for weeks now, but he knows he has to tell you. It’s only fair to you. "So, please don't get mad, but this whole thing may or may not have been just a setup for you to see your family again."
Your heart beats out of your chest at the mention of seeing your family again. "Really, when can we go?" Your excitement radiates off of you, and you quickly stand to your feet.
Chan grabs ahold of your sleeve and gently guides you back down next to him, his eyes filled with pity. "Well, when we said we were going shopping earlier, we actually went to your house," he pauses, his eyes scanning your features; your face is blank, the excitement from seconds ago long gone. "Your mom wasn't exactly appreciative of our presence, and she kicked us out. Said she'd call the cops if we didn't leave. I'm so sorry, Y/N."
Your mind whirls with the information Chan just threw at you. "So, all of this," you gesture to your surroundings, "was for me? There's no SKZ Code?"
He shakes his head, his hand coming to rest on your arm, "No SKZ Code."
"And my mom still doesn't want to see me?"
He shakes his head again, slower this time. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I thought she'd be more open to talk to you, to us, but she wasn't. If I'd have known it'd end this way, I would've never done all this."
You sit there in silence, your gaze downcast. There's no sadness or anger in your heart, no tears welling up in your eyes. You expelled all the emotions you could over the past few weeks, and you've left yourself with nothing.
You stand, your only desire to go lay down on the plushy bed you found in one of the bedrooms when you were exploring earlier. As you walk away from Chan, he stops you.
"Where are you going?"
"To sleep."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I can come with you?"
"No thank you, I'll be fine," your voice is robotic as you decline his offer. You make your way to the room, climbing up the stairs to the second floor.
You're out like a light as soon as your head hits the feathery pillow, the day’s events catching up to you all at once.
~ ~ ~
You're rudely awoken by the sound of your phone ringing. You pull it out from your pocket, your eyes squinting at the brightness.
Your eyes widen at the contact name that appears on the screen.
Dad
You quickly press the answer button, scared if you wait too long the opportunity will disappear quicker than it showed up.
Your dad had always been a follower. He's the youngest of four siblings, so it was instinctual for him to do what they did. When he married your mom, he had been the same way. Whatever your mom said went.
Your dad loved you and your brother so much, with all his heart, but when your mom started to act up, he became distant. He was never mean to you; he just stopped calling one day, stopped texting. You knew it was because of your mom; a part of you thought he was scared of her.
The last few times you'd gone home, the tension between them was almost unbearable, but your dad always rolled with it. Essentially, he was your mom's very own punching bag. You felt bad for him, but only he had the power to do something about it. You certainly didn't want to say anything. You were already walking on eggshells with her, the last thing you wanted to do was upset her more.
You bring the phone up to your ear, a shaky 'Hello?' leaving your overly chapped lips.
"Hi, sweetie. It's Dad," his voice is as shaky as yours, and he sounds choked up.
"Dad, what's wrong?"
"I can't do it anymore, Y/N. I cannot listen to her and let her treat you this way anymore."
Your heart breaks for him. All throughout your childhood they had been a happily married couple. The love they had for each other was immense.
"I'm getting a divorce, and I'm taking your brother with me."
Your heart is so conflicted. On one hand, this is the greatest news you've ever heard. You'll get your dad and brother back! On the other hand, you'd never wish divorce on anyone. While this experience would not be exceptionally hard for you, given your nonexistent relationship with your mom and the fact that you don't even live at home, it would certainly be hard for the people you love.
"After your band mates came and tried to talk some sense into your mother, it made me realize how blind I've been these past few years. She’s been so mean and cruel to you, and I just sat by and watched."
You don't know how your little brother will take it. Your mom has spoiled him with everything under the sun. This will surely devastate him.
Your dad, too, this can't be easy for him. You know it's not easy for him from the quiet sobs you hear on the other side of the phone.
You're not sure what to say as he continues to cry. "Dad-"
"Honey, please forgive me," he pleads, his voice cracking. "I've let your mom walk all over us for years now, and I'm so sorry."
"Dad, it's ok. It's not your fault."
He's quiet for a moment. "I have Ben at Grandma's house now. Can you come? He's crying so hard. It wasn't easy to leave, your mom put up a fight and was screaming. I think it scared him a bit."
"Yes, Dad, I will be there as soon as possible. I'm leaving now. Can you send me the address so I can give it to the driver?"
He sends the address and you hang up, promising you'll see him in just a few minutes.
You hurriedly put your shoes on and run down the stairs. All your members are sat in the living room, some video game lighting up the television.
"My dad’s getting a divorce, and he has my brother at my grandma's right now. I have to go see them," you quickly ramble out, looking in your purse to make sure you have everything.
The guys are stunned at your demeanor. They haven't seen you move with such determination in weeks.
"I'm coming with you," Chan says matter-of-factly, standing from the sofa to put his shoes on.
"Chan, you don't have-"
"I want to. I just want to make sure everything's alright," he sighs at the look you give him, your eyes boring into his. "I'll even stay in the car."
You roll your eyes at that, but you don't fight him. You suppose it doesn't really matter if he's there; you just want to see your family again.
~ ~ ~
One short car ride later and you're jumping out of the car, the seatbelt flinging back against the door. Your brother waits for you on the porch, the biggest smile gracing his lips.
You sprint at him, swinging him off his feet and embracing him tightly. "I've missed you sissy!" he cheers, his little arms wound tight around your neck. His tears have dried since your phone call with your dad, leaving little streaks down his cheeks.
"I've missed you more, Bubby," you tell him, thankful to have him in your arms again. Your eyes crinkle as your mouth splits into the biggest smile.
Your dad comes outside upon your arrival and wraps the two of you in a hug, giving you a tight squeeze. His eyes meet Chan's over your shoulder, who decided to step just outside of the car.
'Thank you,' your dad mouths to Chan, giving him a grateful smile.
‘Thank you’ for what? Chan wasn’t exactly sure. Bringing you to him? He’d do it a million times over. Taking care of you? He’d never let you struggle without him by your side.
Chan gives him a thumbs up in reply, just happy to see you happy again.
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