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#lee know imagines
jisungnaur · 4 days ago
Text
pas de bourrée
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pairing: dancer!leeknow x dancer!reader
genre: enemies to lovers, angst, smut, dancer au
word count: 24k
warnings: swearing, hyunjin’s ur bestie, mentions of alcohol, lots of family trauma, depression, mentions of self-harm and suicide, eating disorder, unprotected sex (oop), virgin!reader, fingering, probably will have you crying at 2am??
synopsis: and in the end, they were only atoms, drifting alone- desperate for something to cling on to as they sat hand in hand while the stars went out. it was beautiful, how angelic he was. he had the most breathtaking laugh that every time he cut himself, an angel got their wings.
a/n: this is a story i wrote a long time ago that i hold so dear to my heart. unarguably one of my favorites. i hope you enjoy this as much as i do.
this book will contain things that could be triggering so please read with caution.
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“you were beautiful for who you were, you spent your whole life trying to make everyone else happy. i miss every beautiful thing about you.”
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growing up had always been a difficult subject for you. you didn't know if it was because of the idea of adulthood or just growing up in general, but somehow you despised it because of the responsibilities that followed.
it was your first year at a new university in a new city full of hopes and dreams. it was a fresh start, something you were scared of but needed. you went through a lot at your old university both mentally and physically and all you could do was run away from it- it was something you seemed to be best at. 
scared, completely and utterly alone. it kept ringing through your mind as you turned in your transfer application, packed up your belongings, and arrived at your new school. but as you stood in your new environment you realized this feeling wasn't something foreign to you. 
as you grew up, you had the tendency of trying to convince yourself that you were okay but not once did it work. it didn't matter though, you would still say that you were fine, invalidating everything over and over again just so you wouldn't concern those who simply pitied you. throughout the years, you began to find pleasure in the little things of life despite the abundance of pain it has caused you. blossoming to develop passion and dreams within a dark world helped you find a sense of being in black and white. surely they were just dreams to others, but it became your everything so quickly. it was your escape and at the time, that was all that mattered.
there was a part of you that wanted to scream over of how stupidly sensitive of a person you were surrounding everything that had ever happened to you. you never needed to feel as intensely as you did- as deeply as you did. but there was another part that longed for healing and that your brokenness would be understood. that your emptiness would be filled and that everything that hurt you would set you free. you haven't been yourself in a long time but you still hoped the future was as good as you wanted it to be.
you found dancing to be the only thing to still your running mind. probably because it was something that you had been doing for as long as you could remember. it was the best distraction that you had and maybe it was unhealthy in some ways, but it was always there for you.
well, that was until you entered university. before attending, you liked to believe that you were a somewhat good dancer. but being in a dance program showed you so many amazing and beautiful dancers who were so resilient and radiated an enigma of confidence within themselves. and soon it began to become difficult to not compare yourself to them in such a competitive atmosphere. 
"y/n." a voice invaded your thoughts. you cleared your throat lightly, blinking a few times at the older woman in front of you. "you’re y/n… am i correct?" she sternly clarified, her eyes began to pierce through yours.
"y-yes.” you quietly replied, breaking the intense stare as your fingertips gripped tightly onto the strap of your dance bag. she looked very intimidating, just like your previous dance program director. 
she scoffed, looking down at her clipboard. "don’t stutter." she corrected. "my dancers do not stutter." she announced, causing your cheeks to redden in embarrassment. everything that you wanted to escape, came crumbling back.
"i'm sorry.” you apologized, bowing your head slightly.
"eye contact is a very important thing y/n." she continued to critique, causing you to look up at her in response. a few moments passed before she sighed. “anyways, you don’t seem like much of a talker so let me introduce you to the class.” she stated before opening the adjacent door to reveal the big dance studio.
at least there was one difference so far: this was much bigger than your old school’s dance studio. you stood there in awe taking your surroundings in. your eyes traveled around the room and observed the groups of students that danced.
before you could take another step forward, music suddenly engulfed the entire room and a tall boy began to dance. the students around him stopped what they were doing to watch him as he performed. his expressions whilst he moved caused your mouth to slightly open in astonishment. there was no way he wasn’t a professional if his movements were this fluid. it didn't help that he looked so perfect too.
the director who was still beside you observed the boy as he danced, a light smile forming onto her lips as the music finally died down and his piece was now over. everyone clapped- including you- i mean how could you not? students were quick to walk up to him in efforts to shower him with compliments. you watched as his only response was simply a kind smile whilst he retied his long blonde hair back into its ponytail. 
you were still so mesmerized by his piece and all you could do was stare.
you heard a pair of hands clap from beside you. “okay class, we have a new student." everyone turned to the director first before looking at you moments later. it was then when you remembered how much you hated attention so much that it made you want to crawl out of your skin. quite ironic since you were a dancer. "this is y/n, she will be joining us this year."
there were a few faded whispers alongside a couple coughs, and all you could do was simply smile in an attempt to cover up how terrified you actually were. once again, all the attention was on you, and you couldn’t mess it up.
“hi y/n!” a couple students greeted from their spots around the room and you waved at them before the director hugged the clipboard to her chest as spoke up once more.
“okay students! if you don't already have on your pointe shoes, put them on." your eyes slightly widened at her statement because you in fact did not bring your pointe shoes with you today. you couldn't really blame yourself too much though... you didn't really expect to use them on the first day of classes.
you didn't know who to go to. the director who was once by your side was now sitting at her desk and based on your first interaction with her, you would've easily gotten on her bad side at that instant if you told her.
"hey!" a voice exclaimed from behind. you turned, quickly realizing it was the dancing boy from earlier. yeah, this boy was beautiful at any distance. "i’m hyunjin.” he reached his hand out for you to shake.
you looked up at him, he was much taller than you. "y/n.” you lightly smiled, shaking his hand. there was a somewhat awkward silence for a few moments after. you weren’t too good with conversation.
he hummed to himself. "you look lost... are you looking for something?"
"uh... i didn't bring my pointe shoes today- should i go tell our director or-" you started before he quickly interrupted.
"oh no! don’t tell her that. she'll hold that against you until you graduate." he lightly laughed and you could’ve melted on the spot over how closely his laughter resembled silk. “i’m the teaching assistant for the class before you guys so i can grab you an extra pair, come." he signaled a hand at you and the both of you walked to a back room where the lockers were located.
he unlocked a closet door with a key that he grabbed from his pocket and took out a big plastic bin. he silently opened it and your eyes gazed at the plethora of extra pairs of ballet shoes that looked pretty beat up. he looked at the current shoes you had on for a few moments- causing you to shift slightly- before he dug and grabbed a pair of pointe shoes from the bin. he tossed them to you which thankfully, you caught.
"you’re really good at dancing by the way." you complimented, filling up the short silence in the room. he was in the middle of taking out his jacket from what you believed was his locker.
he turned to you, a smile forming onto his pink lips. "thank you." 
you sat down on the bench in the room to put your shoes on. “so are you a graduate student or-?”
“a senior.”
“ahh... i see.”  you nodded understandingly. there was no way he was only just a senior by the way he moved ten minutes ago. he began to tie the laces of his sneakers which made you deduce that he was leaving. 
you winced slightly as you finally managed to slip into the pointe shoes. normally people would have them custom made for themselves since the shoes were very articulate with spacing at the tip, so this hurt- a lot. at least he got your overall shoe size right.
"are you alright?" he asked, noticing your scrunched up face as he slung the strap of his duffle on his shoulder. 
you looked up at him from where you were sitting, a few strands of hair falling down onto your face. “o-oh yeah, of course.” 
he slowly nodded to himself. "so, how long have you been doing pointe for?”
“about seven years now.” you answered, finally done tying the laces. “how long have you been dan-” 
his phone rang and he looked down at it before taking a much deeper sigh than he intended to. it went silent again after a few seconds as he began to type something onto his screen before diverting his attention back to you. “i’m sorry-”
not wanting to hold him any longer, you waved your hand. “no worries! i have to go back anyway... thank you for the shoes.” you quickly thanked him, smiling. beginning to walk towards the exit of the locker room, his voice stopped you.
“wait y/n! do you want to maybe grab coffee or something? you’re new here so i assume you would want someone to show you around...” he asked. noticing your flushed expression at his sudden question, he cleared his throat. “nevermind- sorry i tend to talk too m-”
“sure.”
brushing away the strands of flyaways that escaped from his ponytail, he broke into a soft smile. “what's your number?”
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"everyone seems to like you.” you said before taking a small sip from the white mug in front of you.
hyunjin’s eyebrows rose slightly as he stirred his coffee. "oh really? do you think so?!" he dramatically gasped.
it was well past six in the evening and you had just finished classes for the first day of school. you had been texting hyunjin a couple times throughout the day due to you needing some help navigating the campus- so conveniently enough, you both ended up meeting for coffee. it was nice having a ‘somewhat’ acquaintance already since you usually struggled with talking to new people.
you playfully rolled your eyes at him. “wow... so you can tell that everyone wants to be your friend? imagine.” 
he gave out a chuckle. "no seriously though, it’s not all that, trust me! i can’t really tell who’s being genuine or not, you know?" he began to play with the wrinkled napkin in front of him. “i don’t know... everyone just seems so... fake.” he muttered. “like they don't really care about me- they probably want to be my friend because the director likes me or because i’m a TA."
"or...” you dragged on. “...maybe because you're an amazing dancer." you suggested. a little laugh escaped his lips which made you grin.
his cheeks reddened slightly. "yah! stop it! we all auditioned and made it. we are all great dancers!” he exclaimed, taking a sip of his drink.
you could kind of tell he wasn't too good with compliments so you decided to drop it. “fine… how’s being a TA?” 
he nonchalantly shrugged. “it’s pretty cool! i get paid for doing something i love, which is teaching dance!” he broke into another smile, he really had a good one. “plus i get to do it with my friend who’s actually the one who is insane at dancing.” he cheerfully continued before his smile died out a little. “well last year we did it together- he’s actually taking a break this semester.” he cleared his throat which made you furrow your eyebrows slightly at his changed demeanor.
so all you did was nod softly at his statement before his phone dinged. he picked it up, typing quickly as you watched in silence. 
finally setting his phone back down, he looked back at you from across the table. “i think he’s stopping by actually- the friend i told you about just now.”
you nodded once more in response. a few minutes passed of the two of you entering another conversation and you nearly had forgotten that his friend was supposed to come until the small coffee shop sounded with a bell as the door opened. it revealed a boy with disheveled dark hair and strong features that somehow brought chills down your spine by the mere sight of him.
hyunjin turned in his chair to face the door. “ahh! that’s him.” before you could say anything, he called out. “hyung, we’re over here!”
the mysterious boy walked over, hands in the pockets of his hoodie without a word. standing by the table, he looked at the blonde. “are you done? we’re gonna be late.” he didn't seem to acknowledge your presence just yet which made you confused because there were only two people at the table.
"yeah i know, sorry. but this is my new friend, y/n!" he enthusiastically informed, causing his friend to finally look at you.
“hi.” you greeted with a light smile.
he didn't seem amused at all and instead turned back to hyunjin. you were beyond shocked at how bluntly apparent he made his disinterest. he surely seemed to not care about his lack of kindness which made you roll your eyes although he couldn't see it- obviously.
your lips drew into a thin line as the two boys spoke to each other in front of your face. you quickly felt like you were third wheeling. hyunjin cheeks flushed slightly, still embarrassed by his friend's bluntness to ignore you. suddenly the tall blonde stood up from his seat, downing the rest of the coffee in his mug.
"i gotta go y/n… but i'll just text you later, okay?" he sighed, grabbing his coat from behind his chair. you silently nodded, still not in favor of the rude boy’s presence who in which hyunjin shortly left with.
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your mom had always told you to be your best. you never understood the meaning behind it though. when you were a little girl, you had always stayed back and never opened your mouth- just like your dad had always wanted you to.
it was clear they both had different destinies for their daughter. after messing up on their first, your brother- who you haven’t seen for about five years now. unlike him, they had ideals set in place for you to follow in order to be the best. well, whatever best meant in their minds. 
despite their differences, they tried to make things work. but it was when your dad died, your mom began to break down every wall she had ever built up her entire life. their marriage wasn't perfect- definitely so far from it, but she didn’t seem to mind. she loved him so much that she never felt anything bad he had done to her. you never understood what it was about him that made her this way because, in the most twisted way, you were glad that he was gone. 
he never loved her properly. he never loved anyone at that. the more she gave, the less he appreciated. he didn't deserve her. to him, he could’ve gotten anyone he wanted and made sure she knew that every time, but still she didn’t mind. everything was okay to her as long as he was hers in the end.
after his death she couldn’t think straight and was put into an institution due to how unstable she had become in such a short amount of time. whenever you’d visit, she barely spoke which meant that he had finally won and it broke your heart that he did. he wasn’t even here anymore but he made her like this. it angered you tremendously. 
so as you grew up going to that institution everyday, you started to resent everything about family.
"y/n, head up, hips squared, gaze forward." the director abruptly critiqued, her eyes piercing through you like usual. you were in relevé as she suddenly spoke which startled and caused you to lose balance- grabbing onto the supporting bar. "okay students, i'll see you tomorrow." she announced, staring at you for a few seconds in judgement before walking off without a word. 
you were starting to believe you could never really please that woman. rolling your eyes internally, you quickly grabbed your items from the locker room and left the studio. taking out your phone, you pulled up hyunjin’s saved contact. 
it had been about a month since classes started and he had managed to be your only friend- not surprising. you dialed his number, your phone ringing for a couple seconds before you felt a tap on your shoulder from behind. 
and just like that, it was him. 
“hi.” he patted your head lightly to greet you and you sighed, pouting. “what’s with the sad face?”
"she hates me.” you huffed, crossing your arms.
already knowing who you were talking about, he laughed. "oh c’mon y/n! she doesn't..." he began. "she’s just really, really picky."
you scoffed. "yeah, no kidding." 
"you’ve only been here for a month, she'll warm up to you." he reassured and you stuck out your tongue at him. you were still quite bummed from today's class. "you’re A okay, okay?” he joked lightheartedly.
you groaned knowing he wouldn’t leave you alone unless you agreed. “fine.” 
“good, now are you ready to go?" he asked, nudging your shoulder. you nodded, pushing your teacher problems to the back of your head.
you were planning on binge watching ‘death note’ with him tonight at his apartment. a few weeks ago, you apparently had committed the biggest crime ever- well biggest crime ever to hyunjin- which was you telling him that you had never watched that anime. after what felt like hours of debating, you agreed to watch it with him when you had time, and that happened to be today.
formally, you suggested your dorm on campus but you quickly realized you had a horrible roommate who would come back around four in the morning drunk everyday- so you both stuck to his apartment.
the both of you walked off towards the direction of his which didn't take too long, only about fifteen minutes. unlocking the door to his place, he opened it and immediately you were greeted by the cutest cat ever. you never had a cat before- or any pet to be honest. your dad wasn't a big fan of pets but your mom was. however, what your dad said always went of course.
“you never told me you have a cat!” you gasped, taking off your shoes and dropping your dance bag by the entrance. you crouched and pet its head.
he laughed, taking off his shoes too. “it’s not mine, it’s my roommates- you remember the guy from when we grabbed coffee on your first day?” 
pondering for a few seconds, you groaned in remembrance which earned a chuckle from the boy beside you. “oh yes, the boy who didn’t want to talk to me? how could i forget.”
“sorry about that by the way.” 
“stop apologizing.” you waved a hand at him as you continued to pet the cat with your other. “it’s not your fault your friend is socially inept.”
“hey, minho isn’t too bad when you get to know him.” he informed you, beginning to place a popcorn bag into the microwave. so, minho was his name. disregarding what he said about his roommate, you continued to focus on the cat in front of you. “yah! why is a cat getting more attention than your friend?” he held a hand against his chest pretending to be hurt.
“my apologies prince jinnie.” you stifled a laugh, finally standing up to sit on the couch. his apartment was really clean. it surprised you how two boys could maintain it like this. a few seconds later, he sat beside you with a big bowl of popcorn, offering you some. you politely declined.
“you guys are really neat.” you stated.
"i can't stand a messy place." he said, tossing some popcorn into his mouth as he reached for the remote that was on the coffee table.
you leaned your head back against the couch. "my dorm room is so cluttered, i still have to unbox so many things.” you figured you should probably finish that sometime soon.
he chuckled as his gaze was focused on finding the star show of the night. "well, aren't your parents supposed to come and help you?"
you cleared your throat lightly. “um, they were busy.” you lied. you didn't want to scare him off with your crazy family story.
“well if you ever need help, let me know.” he offered, which made you smile at his never ending kindness. even though it had only been a month since you met hyunjin, he quickly worked his way up to be one of the best people at this school. setting the remote down, he clapped his hands together. “you ready for the best show ever?” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down as you dramatically sighed. “okay, hater alert...”
the best show ever. boy was he right. by the time the first episode ended you found yourself desperately waiting for him to press play on the next. and when it came to the third episode, he couldn't stop himself from laughing so hard at your continuous desperation for it. as he pressed play on the episode after teasing you for a couple minutes, the front door opened causing you to jump slightly at the abrupt sound. hyunjin didn't pay much mind to it though, simply pointing out something in the intro scene instead.
you curiously turned your head towards the front door for a split second and made eye contact with your friend‘s roommate, minho. your eyes widened slightly when it met his and you quickly faced back to the tv. at least he acknowledged you for a second? that was progress- well, that's what you told yourself anyway before you jumped again at his bedroom door slamming. 
this time hyunjin noticed your reaction and giggled to himself. “you get startled so easily.”
you pushed his shoulder which made him fall onto the empty side of the couch as he continued to laugh at you. before you could reply, the same door opened revealing minho once more.
“hyunjin-ah did you take my fucking charger?” 
sitting back up, the boy beside you shook his head as he was still in the midst of recovering from his laughter. "nah lino, i don't have it."
"well, i don't have it-" he snapped, not stepping away from his doorframe.
"hyung, maybe it's under your bed or something."
minho scoffed. "it's not. i checked." he started to get irritated very quickly.
"well i don't know minho, maybe it's underneath all the mess in your room." hyunjin huffed, trying his best to refocus his attention back on the show. you once again became a third wheel, yet in a much more awkwardly tense conversational way? you sat there witnessing it all, starting to grow quite confused by his ‘best friends’ demeanor. hyunjin noticed your confusion and sighed. “we’re watching something right now, can we talk about this later?”
“bro, if you have my charger just give it back.” minho disregarded his friend’s request which made the boy exasperatedly chuckle to himself, throwing his head back on the headrest of the couch. 
“i just told you-”
you cleared your throat. “uh- you can use my charger.” the air was getting quite tense and you didn't want to see something go down between the two in front of you. just as you were about to stand up to grab your charger from your bag, hyunjin grabbed your wrist pulling you back down.
“you don’t have to do that- hyung, you can just take mine from my room.” he offered instead, sighing once more as he grabbed the remote to rewind the show since it was playing this whole time. 
minho looked at him for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and turning towards another room which you deduced to be hyunjin’s. once he left, the blonde pressed play on the show without a word and you sat there looking at him instead of the screen.
he could sense your gaze which made him turn to you. “do you realize that you're missing a very monumental part y/n?!” he argued.
you lightly let out a breathy laugh as you bit the inside of your cheek, still confused at the interaction you had just witnessed. “um- i know this isn't any of my business...” you hummed, pausing for a few moments before speaking up. “...but, are you guys okay?”
his eyebrows rose, a ridiculous smile curving onto his lips as he chuckled- you could’ve sworn you felt your heart flutter for a moment at the sight. “haven’t you seen two friends argue before?” he asked and you shrugged in response. he gave a reassuring rub to your arm, noticing you weren't really believing his shitty answer. but understandably enough, you knew that he didn't even owe you one- it really wasn’t any of your business. yet after spending almost every day of the past month with you, he had noticed how worried you’d get over the slightest things. he looked at you still and gave you a light smile, his hand still tracing up and down your arm. “things are just- hm... how can i put it? complicated.”
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you didn't see hyunjin all next week. you waited and waited for him to show up; you found yourself waiting outside in the hallway to ‘accidentally’ run into him after the class he’d TA in, and just pathetically hoping he would walk into the studio as you were in the middle of failing to impress the director. it took you until now to realize how much it all surprised you- how apparent his absence was and how he played such a big role in your time there at school. and it surprised you even more on how much you had waited for him to show up, but he never did.  
you couldn't help but wonder if the reason he was gone was because of what happened a week ago, the argument between him and minho. you sat there and watched it all happen right before your eyes, and now you wondered if maybe you should have said something more. you figured you probably could have texted or checked up on hyunjin, but all the overthinking you had done soon convinced you that you both were simply just casual friends, and friends like those didn't need to know everything. 
the air was cold all around you, it had transitioned to fall so quickly inching closer and closer to winter. you didn't mind, you seemed to enjoy the cold anyway. as the wind blew through you, you continued to walk, gripping tightly onto the pair of pink pointe shoes against your chest before coming to a stop.
it was funny… how predictable of you. 
here you were, standing outside of hyunjin’s apartment complex on a friday afternoon, half past six in the evening- with good reason of course. sometime last week, before his absence, he had let you borrow another pair of pointe shoes since you had to get yours remade for the semester. receiving your newly polished shoes earlier today, you had no reason to keep wearing the ones he had given you. so yes- here you were, standing outside of his apartment complex on a friday afternoon- half past six in the evening- planning to give it back to him today.
gripping onto your dance bag that was lazily slung over your shoulder, you pondered over what laid behind those doors… hopefully he was home. pushing your thoughts aside, you knocked a tune on the door, waiting a few seconds. the silence behind it was so loud. maybe your visit was too sudden. i mean you hadn't texted or seen him all week; he probably was sick or didn't feel like coming to class. another few seconds passed, the door still not open. you had convinced yourself that you had no reason to be here anymore and that you could in fact instead give him the shoes the next time you saw him. that sounded reasonable.
just as soon as you began to walk away in efforts to create distance between you and the unopened door, it finally opened.
"yes?"
you turned and were met with the last person you wanted to see. 
“oh, you have got to be kidding me.” minho scoffed, noticing it was you. you sighed to yourself as you should've calculated the odds of facing the roommate- and much to your dismay those odds were fifty-fifty. it was nice to know that your luck was shit.
frowning at his obvious lack of manners- which wasn't too surprising based on his previous record with you- you cleared your throat and looked down at the pointe shoes you still held tightly against your chest. "um, i'm looking for-"
"hyunjin, right." he rolled his eyes, finishing your sentence. what a temper.
you nodded. "i-is he here?" you tried your hardest to not make eye contact with the boy whose eyes pierced into you. you were nervous- so nervous. nervous in saying the wrong thing or looking for too long. he was so intimidating and you weren't quite sure if it was because of his dark eyebrows or eyes but you didn't want to figure it out.
"no."
"well, when will he be back?"
"i don't know. i’m pretty sure he has a phone though." he deadpanned before slowly beginning to close the door. "are we done now?" he asked, belittling you. he soon enough answered his own question when he proceeded to slam the door in front of your face. yeah, he was too far gone. how could hyunjin ever be friends with someone like this? they were complete opposites in every possible way.
on any regular occasion, you would have avoided putting yourself in a position like this ever again but you were still worried about your absent friend, so you knocked again- unsurprisingly more afraid than before.
the door abruptly opened. "my gosh- what is it now?" 
"can i wait for him?" you asked.
"sure you can?" he bitterly scoffed in a rather question. “i think there’s a park down the street.”
your mouth drew a thin line as you looked up at him, maintaining eye contact for what felt like the first time. and as you looked at him, all you saw was cold just like the air all around you. the coldness of his orbs screamed at you and although you wanted to hate it and scream back, you stood there and watched. 
a few moments passed before you non-humorously chuckled. “what have i done for you to hate me so much already?” you asked. “you don't even know me.”
he bit onto his tongue, his eyes breaking away from you meaning you had won the imaginary staring contest you had created in your head. “what do you need hyunjin-ah for anyway?” an eyebrow rose as he disregarded your ever so obvious question.
nevertheless, rolling your eyes, you replied. "i have to give him something.” you then proceeded to lift up the pair of pointe shoes- they became a clear audience to this awkwardly hostile conversation.
his eyes followed to look down at the shoes before flicking his brown orbs back up at you. it was surprising how much you were maintaining eye contact with him despite how much his eyes made you shiver.
“so remind me again, what’s wrong with the park bench?” he asked before a sudden gust of wind blew through the both of you. it had gotten much colder as the sun was nearly set now and you had spent most of your time standing in front of the door. 
he noticed the way the cold wind blew through your light padding causing you to hug the shoes tighter against your chest for some subliminal warmth. he couldn't lie, it was cold- freezing in fact. it didn't help that their complex didn't have a lobby either, simply balconies with accompanying staircases to each door. and yeah, maybe he did feel a sense of kindness wash over him as he thought about letting you in but that was soon ruined as you scoffed at his previous rude remark.
“you have some nerve-“ you shook your head disappointingly. “i don’t even know why i’m still here, you're just so- ugh!”
his eyebrows rose at your slight outburst and he exhaled in response. “oh gosh- if i let you in, will you please shut up?” he was growing bored of the conversation and was starting to get cold himself from having the door wide open for too long. you nodded almost too quickly, causing him to silently study you for a few moments before rolling his eyes and opening the front door wider. 
although you had built such a big case for him letting you inside, you couldn't help but feel a little weary entering the house. part of you wished he was lying when he said hyunjin wasn't home but if he was, your friend would have defused the situation in a matter of seconds. taking a step inside, it looked much darker than it previously did unlike when you were here with the blonde. his laughter and smile filled up the entire room and now it just seemed to be empty. 
you sat down on the striped armchair without a word. you didn't want to turn to face minho as he seemed to be a ticking time bomb based on his continuous behavior- but when you finally did turn, he wasn't there anymore. 
shrugging him off, you proceeded to then feel the armrest for the seat dip slightly. you were quick to notice that it was the cat- his cat. “this was probably the best thing about him” you told yourself as you pet the purring cat that soon fell asleep beside you. and so you sat in silence, the faded noises of the television sounding as you hugged your dance bag on your lap.
you stayed like this for a while- an hour to be exact- before growing unamused by the almost mute television and the sleeping cat to your left. minho still hadn't come out from his room and you were glad. despite being quite alone in the apartment, it beat being in an overly-excessive, boundary-crossing argument that would have occurred if he did come. but, you were still worried about hyunjin as it was already eight at night with no sign of him still. so a part of you did wish minho came out so you could ask him.
in efforts to distract yourself, you stood up from your seat, taking off your coat to look around the living room. you were still confused as to how these boys maintained such a clean apartment, but that thought was soon washed away as your wandering eyes caught a stash of movies on the bookshelf. as you looked through the movies, a slight smile formed onto your lips as you noticed the ones you had once watched before with your mom.
you deeply sighed to yourself, not wanting to sulk anymore over what couldn't be changed. a few moments later, you walked over to your bag to grab your phone to check the time. just as you turned it on, your phone died from the lack of battery. great. groaning, you plopped back onto the armchair, the cat stirring in its sleep slightly. this was a mistake- you coming here. you achieved nothing besides a dead phone. 
this was probably a sign to get the hell out of there and go back home. but as you stood back up to collect your items in efforts to leave, you proceeded to then realize that you needed the gps on your phone to get back to campus since you were still not yet accustomed to the neighborhood. how unfortunate. 
looking around the room in an attempt to magically find a charger lying around somewhere, you sighed at your obvious lack of luck. maybe hyunjin had one in his room. wanting to leave this apartment as soon as possible, you walked over to his empty room quickly scanning the outlets for a charger. failing to locate one, you groaned at the fact that minho probably still had hyunjin’s from their turmoil last week. this ultimately meant you’d have to face the boy again.
walking across the living room over to minho's bedroom door, you tried to calculate the possibility of you actually getting lost on your way back to campus. it couldn't be too high right? well that's what you thought anyway before realizing that it was pretty dark outside which could soil your plans. not wanting to waste any more time, you knocked on his door and were met with silence. not surprising. what was that boy doing that took so long for him to open doors? either way, you knocked again as you were tired and just wanted to go back to your dorm.
“is he really going to ignore me?” you scoffed to yourself before twisting the doorknob and much to your luck, it opened. you didn't know what to expect as you opened the door... maybe a sleeping minho- but surely you weren't expecting an empty room, a completely messy one at that. you could have sworn he went into his room when you first came inside. either way, you didn't want to dwell too much and proceeded to find a charger beside all the clutter on his desk. grabbing it, you were about to walk out before something caught your eye on his desk. lined up on the table were framed photos and an opened photo album. you couldn't help but laugh at the goofy smile plastered onto minho's face in each picture. so he does smile. studying the photos you noticed he was with two adults who you sought out to believe were his parents. 
it was very nosy of you, extremely nosy, and you should’ve stopped. but you proceeded to flip through the pages of the photo album, laughing at all the funny faces and dance recital pictures. you even found pictures of him and hyunjin from when they were younger which meant that they were childhood friends. you analyzed it with all the time you had. you noticed how different he looked now because never once did you ever see him smile. 
there was a pattern within his photos. a majority of them consisted of the same three people: him, his mom, and dad. pictures were the most valuable piece of history of every family- at least those lasted forever. they all looked so happy together and that made you realize just how broken yours actually was. trying your best to brush that aside, you continued to flip through and noticed how most of the photos were old pictures of when he was younger. when you got to the few of when he grew a little older, his mother was no longer in the pictures. then, as soon as you got to when he looked similar to how he did now, the pictures just stopped. 
it was when you flipped the page once more assuming it would be just another empty page that your smile faded. two program pamphlets in which both read In Loving Memory with a picture of his parents. it wasn't an exaggeration when you said your heart dropped. you had gone through all the pictures somehow growing an attachment to the happiness that radiated through them, yet here you were. you weren't close with minho, that was abundantly clear- and you didn't know his family at all, but somehow the sadness that rushed through weighed much more than the death of your father. it was wrong.
"what the fuck you doing?" a deep voice spat, quickly snatching the photo album from out your hand. you were completely startled as you didn't hear him enter his room.
you were caught.
his eyes pierced into yours. you had never seen him this angry before. he inched closer to you and you kept taking a step backwards until your rear hit the desk. this was probably the most scared you had been in a while- not even your director made you like this. and as you stared back into his eyes despite how frightened you were, you saw the change within him. you could see it in his eyes, hear it in his tone. he wasn't the same as the boy from the pictures. 
"i-i'm sorry-"
as the both of you now stood, only an inch between the two of you, his jaw clenched. "yeah, i’m sure you are." your breath began to stagger slightly as you finally broke the intense glare he had on you. “who said you could come into my room?”
you looked back up. “i couldn't find a c-charger anywhere.”
he lifted up the photo album that he grabbed from your hands. “this doesn't look like a charger.” you were speechless and you felt like all the blood got sucked out of you. at this point you felt tears begin to rush to your eyes as all the emotions you had felt within the past few minutes hit you at once. he leaned forward, setting the album back down onto the desk behind you. you bit your lip in a futile attempt to keep your tears at bay and closed your eyes. seconds later, you felt his presence in front of you dissipate and you opened your eyes, slowly, to see that he no longer stood in front of you. instead he was by his door. “get out.”
you walked up to him, your head low. “i am really sor-”
he interrupted you with a non-humorous chuckle. “earlier, you said i didn't know you? well, now i know enough.”
your head shot up, eyebrows furrowed. “that’s not fair.”
“just get out.”
"and i will. i just said i was sorry.” you defended. “i shouldn't have done that-”
he laughed to himself ridiculously. “i don't think you understand... honestly, i could care less about your shitty apology.” his laughter was soon met with a glare. you knew what you did was wrong- you could admit that- but his character began to boil your blood as he was the most disrespectful person you had met in a very long time. “in fact, let me make this easier for you.” he began to walk out of his room in an attempt to open the front door so you could leave. but before he could even fully exit, you grabbed his wrist making him turn back around to face you.
"why the fuck are you so rude?” you were so done with him. it was when his eyes looked down at his wrist that was held by your hand that you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. it was something that you wished you never saw. you saw the distinct scars on them. you let go and the silence between the two of you was so loud. his eyes glistened as he quickly wrapped his arms around his body, his face growing pale. 
you had no idea what to say. not even saying “i’m sorry” over and over again would help the matter at hand. you had crossed numerous boundaries within the past few minutes that you felt utterly disgusted with not him anymore, but yourself.
after staying quiet for a few seconds, he finally broke the silence. "can you please leave?" he didn't look at you.
you paused for a moment before nodding and walking back into the living room to grab your items. you didn't even want to put your coat on given the circumstances. you simply set the pointe shoes onto the couch and without a word, walked out of the mute home. the cold air had hit you harder than it did before, causing a wave of chills down your spine.
he had cut himself. it didn't look new, but that didn't matter. he was depressed, he had to be. and you didn't know how to help him because you were right, he didn't know you and you didn't know him. 
yet despite everything negative you felt towards him, all you wanted to do was hug him- to tell him that everything would be alright and that in some twisted way, you would be there for him. the world was a cruel place and life was hard, you knew that. 
as you thought about what you had just seen, it caused you to remember when mother first slit her wrists in the bathtub the day your dad had died. she cried and cried, shouting at you that she wanted to be with him. you were tired of it all and grew to hide from everything that helped you and hurt you, because it meant that in the good times, there would be bad times.
and you understood now when you stood outside hyunjin’s apartment complex on a friday night- half past eight in the evening- with tears streaming down your face, that you weren't a mess but a person who felt deeply in a messy world. 
you explained to yourself that when you asked why you cried so often, you would say “for the same reason i laughed so often- because i’m paying attention.” 
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after hyunjin’s diabolical getaway for the week to audition for a dance show, he had returned safe and sound. you nearly thought he went missing for a good portion of his absence and when he broke out in a fit of laughter once you told him that, you did too. it sounded much too ridiculous. hyunjin was too much of a character to go missing.
as the semester continued to roll past, the dance program had an upcoming performance show. it was the day before the recital and both hyunjin and you had planned to spend the night together since you had to wake up pretty early the next day. 
this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary though. you would always hang out at hyunjin’s apartment with him and occasionally have these sleepovers that resulted in the two of you sleeping way earlier than anticipated while an episode played from a series you both tried to binge. you had some nerve though- coming back to the apartment after everything you had done. everytime you slept over after the whole incident, you hoped to not see minho because you still felt guilty. you were still in the process of trying to figure out the right words to say to him. not that he would listen anyway.
but much to your luck this time, you didn’t see him. 
it was night now, the room was silent as hyunjin slept beside you. looking at the digital clock on his dresser that read 9:46pm, you lightly chuckled to yourself as he once again fell asleep earlier than expected. this would’ve been you too but this time you weren’t sleepy. today felt weird and you were quick to just blame it on the upcoming recital tomorrow. but as you sat in the dark, you couldn't stop thinking about him. minho’s eyes, his voice, his room, his arms. it all haunted you tonight and the silence from all around you didn’t sit right.
“pst.” you tapped hyunjin’s shoulder. he didn't move. "jinnie.” you proceeded to then shake the sleeping boy's shoulder and he finally peeled his eyes open.
"hm?" he hummed, beginning to close his eyes again as his slumber began to take over him once more. you poked his cheek as you noticed this and he sighed. “go to sleep, it's late.” he waved his hand at you, and flipped around in his bed.
“but it’s only nine.” you pouted.
he mumbled. “that’s late enough y/n. we have to get up at six tomorrow.” you huffed in response, crossing your arms over your chest like a child. “just try.” he suggested.
much to your dismay, you laid back down on the pillow and closed your eyes. a few moments passed before you spoke up again. "well i can't sleep."
he groaned, beginning to slowly sit up as he was growing slightly annoyed. he valued his sleep a lot. “that’s because you’re not trying.” he lightly flicked your forehead, turning on his lamp that was placed on the bedside table beside him. "what's going on?"
you sat back up, leaning your back against his headboard. shrugging, you began to play with the hair band around your wrist. "can i ask you something- you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
he furrowed his eyebrows. "yeah, of course."
you sighed. "what's wrong with minho?"
"what?” he lightly laughed before realizing you weren't laughing with him. his eyebrows rose as he cleared his throat. “n-nothing is wrong with minho hyung-" he was lying. you frowned at the boy beside you and he was quick to realize the seriousness of your demeanor. “i mean… did he say anything to you?” he asked.
“i saw something.” you answered. you weren't too sure if the blonde knew of his friend's arms. but they had been friends for years, why wouldn't he? “...the cuts on his arms.”
hyunjin ran his fingers through his soft locs in silence as he sighed deeply. based on his reaction, he knew what you were talking about. “did they look new?”
"they looked like they healed.” you responded, shaking your head. it fell silent between you two for a minute as you both tried to find a way to discuss the problem at hand. “what happened to him?"
he sighed once more, much more deeply than before. "it's too late for this right now, y/n. go to sleep." he reached for his lamp in an attempt to turn it off but you reached over to grab his arm. 
"please tell me what happened to him.” you begged, looking at him with pleading eyes. 
he pressed his lips together. “do we really have to do this right now?” 
noticing his lack of wanting to discuss it, you began to lay back down against the pillow. “you’re right… sorry. let’s just sleep.”
the light turned off and you felt the boy beside you readjust his position. a few minutes had passed and you believed that he had fallen back into a deep slumber, one in which you soon concluded that you should be in too.
"it started when his mother died.” hyunjin said abruptly, startling you. he wasn't too sure if the girl beside him had fallen asleep, yet he continued. “and then his dad died last year.” you didn't move from where you laid. "and when he died- that broke him completely. he didn't cry on the day he died or at the funeral though. instead, he stayed quiet- but i think later that day he sat in his room and cried all night." 
you finally turned around in bed and he followed your actions facing you. “is that why he took this year off?” 
he nodded. “i thought he would be okay to come back this year but he’s just gotten worse.” he began to play with the ends of the duvet that covered you both. “after his mom died, he saw a therapist for a while and i suggested for him to go to one after his dad’s but he didn't listen.” his eyes began to glisten, a tear fighting to escape. “so now he just sits in his room, waiting for the days to be over.”
"w-well how do we help him?" 
you could see a tear had fallen down onto the bed sheet as he began to speak. "y/n, i’ve known him all my life. i’ve tried everything i could as his best friend.”
“is that why you let him yell at you?" you asked. "because your anger could infer-"
"-could infer that i hate him and worsen his depression.” he finished, wiping his cheeks. "he deserves more, he really does." 
you bit the inside of your cheek, nervously, as you debated whether or not to knock on minho’s door. that would be crossing yet another boundary. you hadn't seen him in a while and before this conversation, you were fine with it. but now you knew enough to sit up from the bed and head to his room. 
standing up from the bed, hyunjin sat up as well. "where are you going?" he asked.
"the bathroom.” you lied. "go to sleep, it’s late.”
“oh really?” he lightly sniffled, a soft smile forming onto his lips at your mockery. he began to lay back down on his pillow again. “don’t stink up the bathroom please.”
you gasped, throwing a pillow at him. “whatever-” 
after flicking him off, you left his room and stood in the living room. the door across from his was minho’s. it was probably a bad idea, but you didn't care. if this was anybody else, they would have stayed away from putting themselves in a situation like this- but here you were. you walked up to his door, lightly knocking so hyunjin couldn't hear. 
you heard shuffling from behind the door before it opened. minho wasn't too sure as to who he was expecting at his door. surely not hyunjin though, he never knocked this lightly.
the both of you stared at each other, your orbs burning through each other's. his hair was messy and  his eyes were red, his bags sagged halfway down his face. and as you stayed like this for a while, you broke the connection and looked down at the wooden-plank flooring below you.
"i overstepped.” you finally said, looking back up at him as you cleared your throat. he was still staring at you. "i shouldn't have done what i did last time- all of it." you looked down at his arm, noticing another cut that seemed to just heal.
his eyes followed yours and noticed, causing him to insecurely pull his sleeve down. "what are you doing here?" 
"i want to help you."
"no."
"why not?"
he scoffed. “you are relentless.” he began to try to close his bedroom door but you stopped it with your slipper. “i don't need anyone to help me.” he proceeded to say, sighing defeatedly.
"is that why you haven't been going to therapy?" you crossed my arms, and it was almost like all the life was sucked from him as all the color drained from his face.
“what?”
once again, you felt as if you were crossing all boundaries that you had sworn to not cross after the last incident. “i know that you're depressed because of everything that you have been through this past year.”
he shook his head. "you don't know me, i am not some lost cause." he ridiculed. “who told you this anyway- hyunjin right?” he opened the door wider in an attempt to bombard your friend in his room but you blocked him.
"i know you're not!” you defended. “i want to help you. i really do- please let me."
he was hesitant in allowing you into his room. but slowly, he moved out of your way and you entered. you walked into his dark and gloomy room, the window open causing a cold breeze to brush past you. nothing looked distinctly different from the last time you had come in; his clothes were still everywhere and random items displaced around the room. the only difference was that you were actually allowed inside.
he sat on his bed watching you as you stood awkwardly in your bunny slippers and robe in front of him. the dark room was filled with silence for a few moments before he spoke up. "what's your name again?" did he really not know?
"y/n."
he lightly nodded to himself. “can i show you something, y/n?" he asked, his eyes never failing to leave you. you agreed, not really knowing what exactly he wanted to show you. he stood from his unmade bed and walked over to his opened window. following behind him, you could see that there was a firescape. he went through the window first and although this seemed quite dangerous, you wordlessly followed, walking the rest of the way up to the rooftop of the apartment building.
"woah." you breathed out, examining the night sky and city lights from your height. 
"i come here whenever i feel like shit- so that's most of the time." he informed, sitting down on the ledge. it looked dangerous- no it was dangerous, but he didn't seem to care. this was his world. you cautiously sat beside him, hugging your legs against your chest as you were worried that your slipper would fall from your foot. the both of you sat in silence and you took this time to observe the stars that were so apparent. "sometimes at night, i would sleep open-eyed underneath this sky that was dripping with stars. i felt alive then.” he said, his eyes never leaving the city below.
you turned to look at him and pondered over his statement for a couple seconds. "and why is that?"
he shrugged, glancing at you before turning back to the scenery in front of him. "do you know that feeling where you just wanna say, “i don't know what to do” over and over again? because you literally don't have an idea on what to do anymore... and you feel like you're trapped in this dark, black, void of a mess that you can't seem to get out of no matter how fast you try to run?"
"minho-" you sighed.
"i prayed- i prayed so many times." he choked out. "i want to be happy." tears began to fall down onto his cold cheeks and he quickly wiped them away. he wanted to be happy- not confused, not hurt, not stressed, just happy. "it's just- fuck-" he seemed to struggle to contain himself for a moment, like he was trying his best to hold in his cries. "it's just not fair."
"what did you expect minho?"
"i expected.” his tone curdled to bitterness. "that the world would have kept its promises. that everything was going to be alright." he lightly scoffed. "you wouldn't understand."
you were silent for a long time afterwards, staring out into the night as you thought about all the unwritten prayers, hollow words, and the empty sky. he took out a box of cigarettes from out of his sweats, placing one stick between his light pink lips before lighting the end and blowing the smoke into the air. you watched him as he did so and continued to stay quiet until he spoke up again.
“it sucks, you know. when everything is doing fine then, it crashes again. and the worst part is, i really don't want to try and put it all back together again.” he sighed before he saw the look in your eyes. to him, it screamed confusion. “you just- don't understand.” he repeated. he didn't know that the look you gave him was you understanding him- every aspect of him. 
"i do.” you said in a low voice. you had hoped he didn't hear you, but it was evident that he did as he took one last puff before burning the bud of his cigarette against the concrete you both sat on before turning his gaze on you. you didn't want to look at him though. you wrapped your robe tightly against your body as it was a very cold night. “my mom was depressed.” you finally announced. 
he nodded slightly at your confession, not dwelling on it too much to make you uncomfortable. "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." 
you disregarded his statement. “when my dad died, my mom broke down. i was happy he was dead- all he ever did was hurt her anyway. but she never cared about that, she was so blinded by love that he let him do anything he wanted to her.” your throat felt so dry and it was you now who began to cry. “she tried to kill herself the day he died, but i found her.” 
“y/n-” 
“i loved my mom so much but i knew she wasn't the same after that. the doctors, they never helped her- they took her to a mental institution and said she was crazy." you choked out, wiping away the neverending tears that strolled down your warm cheeks. "they never helped her... she felt blank, nothingness, feelings of-"
"emptiness.” he finished, causing you to finally look at him. he fiddled with a black rubber band. how can emptiness be so heavy?
"yeah.” you breathed out. "yet they kept calling her mental and stuck her in a place she didn't belong." you proceeded to take the rubber band from his hands, beginning to wrap it around your finger in order to distract you from the current severity of the conversation. you hummed to yourself. "she was never the same after that- they gave her pills she didn't need and washed out her soul." your voice began to finally give out and he suddenly wrapped his arms around your body. this was the first time you had told someone your story. you cried- you cried and he did with you.
“i’m not okay.” you admitted against his chest. “but i always tell people i am. i guess i’m just scared of being judged. i’m hurting inside, but i don’t want anybody to know.” you had confessed to him that night. your vision went blurry but you continued. “and you know how people ask you how you are? you’re not supposed to actually tell them the truth. you’re just supposed to say that “you’re fine” or “great” or even, “good”. you’re not supposed to admit to people what you have trouble admitting to yourself.” you paused, wiping the tears from your cheek. “so whenever anybody asks me how i’m doing, i just smile and say that i’m great, just like i’m supposed to.” 
he wanted to console you in his own way but you didn't seem to believe anything anymore because you had been deceived far too many times. so he’d just look down at you and see the pain behind your fake smile, and he’d softly smile back. and he would hear the attempted deception when you’d tell him that you were just tired, and he’d softly say me too. he knew you were broken inside, he could see it in your face.
he didn’t know what it was, you see. your eyes usually had a certain sparkle, a personality tame and fiery. it all dimmed that night and the flame of your personality went out. as for him, he set himself on fire just to keep you warm. 
so as much as it was cold that night, you remembered just how much you didn't mind anymore. you felt warm that night by someone that was so cold. and as you sat there, arms entangled with each other, you found yourself remembering once again how much you seemed to enjoy the cold anyway.
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you sat there listening to hyunjin ramble. his black stereo played music quietly throughout his room and you spent a good amount of your time trying to figure out what was playing. he spoke about the dance audition he did a while ago and how he had just booked his plane ticket to film next summer after graduation.
obviously congratulating him on his achievement, you mindlessly asked stupid questions regarding the process. you knew that what you had asked was mediocre, yet your concentration was completely occupied by the boy across the living room. hyunjin didn't seem to care though, he simply continued to talk and answer your questions as he drew in his sketchbook. 
it annoyed you how amazing he was at everything. he looked perfect, had the best grades, was the best dancer at school, and could draw. you wondered if there was anything that he wasn’t good at.
"y/n- hello?" he waved his hand in front of your face.
you shook your head, waking up slightly from your cluttered mind and looked at him. "oh. yes?"
"yah! did you hear what i said?" he chuckled, before scrunching up his face at the quick sketch he had made. you shook your head once more. “wow, you’re such a great listener.” he playfully rolled his eyes. “at least you're honest.” he checked the time on his phone. the two of you had to leave for class in a minute or two. he stood up, closing his sketchbook and grabbed his dance bag, tossing yours at you too. "let’s go."
the bag hit your face lightly in the process. “rude!”
moments later, you had followed him out his room. once you closed the door behind you, you paused as you looked at the door opposite from you. it was closed. of course it was closed.
“hurry hurry!” hyunjin exclaimed as he slipped on his shoes by the door. he hadn’t noticed where your eyes were focused on.
"jinnie, i think i left my chapstick in your room.” you lied. you never looked away from the door in front of you. "i’ll meet you outside, okay?” you stated, finally turning around to head back into his room.
"fine, hurry up though- we will be late.” he groaned, now zipping up his jacket. he grabbed his keys and walked out the front door.
the second you heard the door close, you immediately knocked on minho’s door. it was embarrassing how fast you did so. you interlocked your fingers as you waited. it was early. he probably wasn't awake at this time anyway. your mom never woke up earlier than twelve in the afternoon so you assumed he slept in too. 
you stood at his door for about thirty seconds and just as you were about to turn to walk away, the door opened. "i’m sorry- i woke you up didn't i?" you slightly winced at his disheveled hair and dark bags under his tired eyes. 
he studied you for a few seconds. he always did that. "no, i was just about to go to bed." you furrowed your eyebrows as he said that. "i can’t really sleep at night."
"insomnia?"
"something like that.” he lightly cleared his throat. you felt awkward around him for some reason despite sharing the deepest parts of yourself with him. 
you didn't know what to say. in fact, it was now that you had realized that you never had a real reason to knock on his door in the first place. you thought about asking if he was doing a little better but based on his worn out face, the answer was clear.
suddenly, you received a phone call from hyunjin. you gave minho a quick finger with a smile before accepting his call.
"y/n!" he yelled. “it’s freezing! hurry up, we are actually going to be so late!”
you chuckled. “i’m coming-“
“you so need to buy me a hot chocolate later, i don’t wanna hear it!” he exclaimed before immediately ending the call. you laughed to yourself a little as he hung up but it slowly faded once you looked back at minho. 
"you should go.” he spoke up, looking everywhere else but at you.
you didn't want to leave. you would’ve rather stayed with him and give him the company he needed- but he seemed to not want that right now. knowing you already pushed many buttons of his for a lifetime, you nodded. 
“yeah.” you agreed, beginning to turn away from the boy before turning back to him abruptly. “do you want to maybe meet on the rooftop tonight?" you hoped that he would say yes.
he stayed silent for a few moments before sucking in a breath. "i don't know."
you pressed your lips together, slowly nodding understandingly. "okay- nevermind i asked, it’s fine-“
“maybe.” he corrected himself.
he said maybe- maybe was good, right? you felt like a little girl who finally spoke to her crush. it was ridiculous. nevertheless, you didn't know whether to say goodbye or not so you instead gave him a light smile before finally heading out of the apartment to meet your friend that was shivering his ass off.
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sitting down on your bed back in your dorm room, you frowned at the dead atmosphere. this was probably the first time you had ever come here straight after class. you didn't like it. thankfully your roommate wasn't here at least. she would have spoken your ear off about her college love drama.
but as you grabbed your backpack in efforts to get some homework done, you concluded that you would've preferred to hear her speak nonstop instead. knowing that it wasn’t a possibility though, you began on your maths homework first. 
two hours passed before you had mustered enough energy to finish all of your homework for the day- well almost. it was nearly eight at night and you still had one more thing to do which was something that could be considered a “semester long homework assignment” to most which was, losing weight.
being a dancer was one of the best and worst things. you felt alive when you danced but it had a big toll on your body. your old university was very strict on weight, especially when it came to ballet so you tried your best to fit their mold until you had gotten yourself sick from lack of nutrition. 
you had thought it was simply just that dance program and that going to a new school would help you escape the negative stigma around it. but it didn’t. your new program director had personally gone out of her way to come up to you at the beginning of the semester to suggest you lose weight. so just like before, you had to watch what you ate. you usually never did eat that much given your past, but her saying this made you feel uneasy and you couldn’t help but compare yourself with your classmates. 
walking up to your mirror, you took off your shirt. you traced your fingers along your very noticeable ribcage and it reminded you of seventh grade. you never focused on your weight until that year when you were called fat. how naive of you. it didn’t mean much to you until another girl said it- then another, and another.
and as you grew older, you began to realize healing wasn’t lavender baths and candles and tea, it was ugly crying in the shower. it was finally wrapping your arms around your knees and admitting defeat. healing was no longer trying to hide that your eyes were always swollen. it was ignoring the churning of your stomach and forcing yourself to eat. it was crying and falling and rising and trying until the walls of an empty house no longer scared you. you knew this and longed for a sense of being but it was much harder than you had thought.
going to college you thought things would change.  that the tiniest aspect of your life would improve even in the slightest. yet the days continued to feel shorter as the nights felt longer. most people  would’ve wanted to escape. to get out of their heads- out of their lives. living for the future was the easiest way to do that. but the truth was, sometimes life sucked and the healthiest thing you could do was admit it.
this was depressing you a lot. you sighed, throwing on a sweatshirt and grabbed a granola bar from your cabinet. you began to eat your dinner in silence as you looked at the clock on the wall. 
minho. you thought of him now. i don't know. maybe. it all replayed in your head and you wondered if you should actually go to the rooftop. you looked around your room, there was really nothing here for you… so you were easily able to convince yourself to go regardless if you didn’t end up seeing him up there.
throwing the wrapper away, you grabbed your coat and slid into your sneakers before walking out your door. it was convenient how close the boys' apartment was to campus. once you reached the destination you began to walk up the metal firescape alongside the brick building to reach the night sky. for some odd reason you felt like he’d be there. after the intimate interaction you both had, you had grown abnormally connected to him. 
the walk to the rooftop took awfully long and it didn't help that the building was ten floors so by the time you reached the top, you were winded. in the midst of regaining your breath, you noticed a figure. he came.
his legs dangled off the edge of the tall building whilst he sat. he was quick to notice you as he glanced over in your direction. he had a cigarette in between his fingers, a brief smoke blowing from out his mouth as he refocused his attention back to the skylight. you simply walked over, sitting beside him. he hadn't said anything to you just yet but instead looked over to you once more. the last time you sat together like this, you watched the stars while you both cried and the moonlight drowned out all but the brightest stars. it was peculiar though... sometimes one trembling star came. and without a word, he reached over to offer you his cigarette. you shook your head and watched him as he pressed the bud against the surface.
after a few moments of silence- something the two of you were quite accustomed to, you spoke up. "i'm surprised you came."
he lightly chuckled. “well, i never said no." he hugged his jacket closer to him as he released a breath of cold air that looked like the smoke he previously exhaled.
"why'd you come?" you asked out of curiosity. he shrugged.
"why'd you come?" he asked you the same question. "after all i did say i don't know."
you scoffed, fiddling with the rings on your fingers. “actually, you said maybe.”
“touché.” he gave you a slight smile and you could feel your heart do a million backflips at the sight. this was the first time you had seen him remotely smile- besides his old pictures. after the both of you fell back into the enthralling view in front of you, you hummed to yourself before facing the boy beside you again. you spent that time studying the way he looked that night. he had on his usual hoodie and black puffer- his hair still messy. it wasn't anything different, but you still took your time appreciating him. “you’re staring.” he chuckled, catching you yet not bothering to look at you.
"minho?" you called out. "can i ask you a question?" he diverted his head to you as he nodded. "do you miss dancing?"
he frowned and nodded once more. “a lot.”
“why don’t you start again?” you suggested. “it might help.”
he pondered on your proposition. “maybe.”
you smiled to yourself as there was a sense of progress with his response. a comfortable silence came over the two of you, the sound of faded sirens and music being heard from a distance. you pressed your lips together before something urged you to speak once more. “have you ever dated anyone?”
his eyebrow rose at your sudden question. "why do you ask?"
you shrugged. “not sure." it was true, you had no intent in asking him that question, it just abruptly came to mind so you asked. you’d be lying if you said you weren't interested though.
"no.” he answered. you didn't want to ask for any details, it probably would've been too intrusive of you. i mean it wasn't like you knew his whole life story, right? either way, you restrained yourself from asking for details yet your face was full of wonder. the boy beside you seemed to notice your expression because he spoke up again. “i just have a fear of abandonment." he sighed, shrugging. "an extreme emotional reaction to real and even perceived abandonment."
his parents.
after he spoke, silence was brought upon you for what could be the thousandth time. every minute you sat outside, the more numb you were to the cold. the street noise began to dim down and the sound of the trees rusting was all you heard before your stomach suddenly growled. your face flushed red as you hoped he hadn't heard that. but, just on command, it growled once more and you felt his eyes on you.
at this point you felt utterly embarrassed. "sorry." you nervously laughed, crossing your arms to suppress your disobedient stomach.
you couldn't tell if he was amused or not because of how dark it was. "did you eat dinner?"
"yeah.” you quickly answered. seeming to not believe you, he dug into his pocket before taking out a piece of gum. you shook your head- the extra sugar. his eyes studied you for a few seconds before you sighed, taking the piece of gum from his hand and popping it in your mouth. 
he took another out for himself. “you're not starving yourself are you?" he asked as he unwrapped it, putting it in his mouth as well.
“when you say it like that it sounds bad.” you dramatically exclaimed. “i’m just watching my figure hush.” you shooed him away lightly and he lazily laughed in response. you couldn't help but notice the crescents in his eyes and the way his nose crinkled as he did so.
the boy with the tired eyes, set himself aflame everyday. he moved like winter, and with his star-map skin and cacophony laugh, you didn't know how to tell him that his smile made you feel a little less alone.
a few moments passed before he called out. “y/n?” 
you were playing with the wrapper of the gum he had given you. “yeah?”
“have you?”
“have i what?” you looked up at him now, confused by his vague question.
“dated anyone?” he asked.
your mouth drew an oval shape as you shook your head. “oh- no.” your eyes couldn't help but travel down to his lips for a split second before he licked them unknowingly and nodded in understanding of your response. “i haven't even kissed anyone.” you blurted out.
he chuckled. “how inexperienced of you.”
you hit his shoulder and groaned. “stop! it’s not my fault nobody wants me minho.”
“that’s not true, i’m sure somebody wanted you at some point of your life- you probably just never knew.” he defended, continuing to laugh.
you rolled your eyes, beginning to play with the wrapper in your hands again. “i can assure you, that's definitely not the case.” soon enough his laughter died out and he took the aluminum wrapper from your hands. “yah!” you attempted to take it from him but failed and instead found your body pressed against his. the last time you were nearly this close was when he had caught you in his room. “sorry.” you whispered as there wasn’t a reason to say it any louder. 
as you tried to move away, you felt a hand grip your wrist forcing you back into not only your former position, but even closer. you gasped quietly at the sudden movement and trailed your eyes up at the boy who was inches away. he looked at you just as he always did. there was no denying that. 
but people looked at people, so this didn’t need to be paid much attention to you thought.
yet as he stared at you and you stared back, he began to think, maybe it was different. it was different with you. when anyone else looked at him, they looked at where he’d been, what he’d been through. they looked at the memories and the scars, and they looked at him like he was not whole. but when you looked at him, you looked at who he was now. 
maybe that was what made fireworks fill the air around as he stopped himself at you, hovering his lips over yours. you could feel his cool minty breath encompass the air you breathed. before, you would have thought that it would be almost suffocating. but now, you had somehow learned how to breathe.
and as you took your first breath of his, your eyes closed. 
he kissed you. and maybe it was because there was too much sadness hidden in your heart, but he was one to realize how you kissed him like you needed to be kissed- like you were aching all over.
you felt your lungs accept everything he had given you. a breath of fresh air, a breath of ecstasy, you took it all selfishly. and for once, he didn’t mind. it surprised him really, how much he didn’t seem to care. the softness of your lips against his- it somehow felt right. of course, he would never admit that though. so as his arms pulled you closer, it felt as though the entire universe was right there between your lips and soul.
how could he have ever minded?
as your fingers found their way into his usual messy locs for the first time, you began to realize how much he really meant to you. every conversation and every glance. it scared you to accept that but you could bring yourself to admit it. 
and with his mouth unraveling yours, you didn't know that poetry could exist in a pair of cold hands the way they cradled yours like fine china. you could have kissed him all night.
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minho never told you much about himself besides that he was unhappy. everything you knew about him, you figured out yourself by spending your time with him. it became a routine now. wake up, go to school, spend time with hyunjin, and sneak off to the rooftop at night. part of you felt bad for not telling hyunjin about your after hour activities with his best friend and roommate. but another part of you enjoyed the secretiveness.
so you would sit, joke, and laugh with your best friend during the day. and you would sit, cry, and kiss your best friend's best friend at night.
you never knew how much time had passed by until you found yourself finishing up the last of your class for the semester. this meant that winter break was in a couple days for students. it was refreshing to know that you had a break from the director who still happened to give you a hard time even till now.
“ugh i’m sad! next semester is gonna be your last semester.” you muttered, finishing up your eyeliner. you were currently sitting on the floor of hyunjin’s room in front of his mirror as you attempted to do your makeup. “are they even?” you asked, standing up to show the blonde your eyeliner. 
he nodded his head at your question. “ew stop, that makes me feel old y/n-ah.” he whined, taking your former position on the ground. “my turn please!”
you laughed, sitting down beside him. “it’s true though. you have graduation coming up soon and then that dance show you got into.” you pinched his cheeks as he pouted into your embrace. “i can’t believe my best friend is gonna be famous.”
“yah!”
“fine. you’re no fun!” you rolled your eyes at his constant inability to accept compliments. sometimes it was something that you wished he would accept. he was one of the best dancers and kindest souls you had ever met, so you really wanted him to recognize just how much you appreciated him. you picked up your eyeshadow pallet. “i’m thinking of a smokey eye. what do you think?”
“this is why we are friends.” he giggled, patting your head. you scrunched up your nose as you swatted his hand away because you had just finished doing your hair previously.
the both of you were heading to an end of the semester party hosted by one of the seniors that hyunjin knew. you never went to a party before so this was a very new experience. originally, you didn’t even want to go but after hyunjin found out you’d never been to one, he wouldn’t shut up about it. so here you were, both your hair and makeup done as you began to do the same to your friend in front of you.
once you finished his light makeup, you tied his hair up into his signature half up half down updo. “ta-da!” you cheered, clapping your hands. “you look like a prince jinnie.” 
he stood up, towering over you as usual. he admired himself in the mirror. “a dark prince.” he corrected in regards to the dark eye makeup you had just done on him. “thank you y/n-ah.”
“always.” you smiled, taking out your outfit for the night from out your duffle. “i’m gonna go change.” 
before you could leave his room to head into the bathroom, he spoke up. “you can change here. i'm going to lino hyung’s for a sec.” he informed and grabbed a graphic shirt from his dresser. “gotta give him this shirt for the night.”
your eyes widened slightly, but thankfully the blonde was too busy looking at himself in the mirror again to notice. 
you swallowed thickly. “oh, is he going?” 
“yes- and i know, i know. don’t worry, i’ll be here to make sure he doesn’t say something rude to you.” hyunjin chuckled, now noticing your changed expression. “sorry about all that by the way.”
he would never let that die out. you groaned, laughing. “stop apologizing.” 
after the boy left his room to not only give you privacy, but to head over to his roommate’s, you froze in place. you didn’t want to show it off too much in front of him but you were happy that minho was coming. you wanted to know why just the mere thought of him kept you absolutely restless at the oddest hours of the day. 
pushing your thoughts aside, you finished getting ready. you werent too sure as to what people normally wore to parties so you had to base it off of what you had seen on tv and hyunjin’s rather blunt opinions. this resulted in you wearing a rather shorter skirt than you anticipated. it didnt help that it was in the middle of winter too, but hyunjin insisted that it would be pretty hot at the party.
a few moments passed of you making minor adjustments to your hair before the door swung open. “pizzas here!” hyunjin exclaimed before his mouth dropped at the sight of you. “woah.” 
your eyebrows rose. “pizza?” there was no way you were going to eat. especially after making sure all day that you wouldn't be bloated for the night. you seemed to not acknowledge that the blondes mouth was still wide open. you simply grabbed your coat before turning back to him. “what?” you lightly chuckled at his dumbfounded expression as you tried to pull your skirt a little lower. it was too short.
“you look amazing.” he exhaled, tucking the rather few strands of his hair behind his ear. finally closing his mouth, he gave you a soft smile. “see i told you this outfit would be best.”
“that’s pretty biased.”
“how?”
“cause you chose it.” you tested, squinting your eyes at him. he rolled his eyes. “but thank you, i guess jinnie.” you walked up to him and poked his rather flushed cheek. “let’s go.”
you followed him out of his room and that was when you saw the boy you stayed up with every night. he was sitting at the kitchen island, eating his slice of pizza in silence. it was weird seeing him much more dressed up than how he usually was. his regular attire of hoodies and sweats were replaced with jeans and the graphic tee hyunjin gave him earlier, a black puffer thrown behind his stool. you’d be lying to yourself if you said he didn’t look attractive. he lazily turned to observe the two of you entering his vicinity, offering hyunjin a quick eyebrow greeting. 
for some odd reason you felt like a little school girl waiting for her crush to notice her. you felt quite ridiculous. it wasn't like you liked him in that way as much as it led up to be. yeah, you had made out once, twice, maybe even three times after confining in each other in ways you never had before. but it was nothing more. it just happened to be a case of two people who found comfort within one another.
his eyes followed you as you walked to stand across from him at the table. his stare always made you nervous because you never really knew what he was thinking. he has built himself up to be one of the biggest mysteries of your life and you hoped to crack it sometime. 
“here.” hyunjin broke you out of your thoughts, sliding the pizza box towards you. “if we are drinking you have to make sure to have a full stomach.” so responsible.
you looked at the box for a second, feeling quite nauseous at the smell. “uh-” you began before your eyes caught minho’s. he was watching your every move. there would be many times where he would ask if you had eaten, offering you whatever he had with him at the rooftop. although it was mainly gum, you took it without argument. half because he would've won the argument and the other half being the fact that you had grown an addiction to the mint flavored elastic because of him.
“c’mon i dont wanna have to drag your wasted self home after thirty minutes.” hyunjin pleaded as he bit into his own slice. he didn't seem to notice his roommates' obvious gaze on you.
you sighed, opening the cardboard box. you took a slice and shoved the box towards minho who finally tore his eyes away from you. he shook his head and you silently groaned to yourself as you took your first bite.
a few minutes had passed of the three of you making small talk as you all ate, your blonde friend doing most of the talking. he was pretty excited to go out. you understood his eagerness though, he worked his ass off this semester at all the dance showcases and auditions he had been doing this semester- especially on top of TA’ing some classes. he was the golden boy. he definitely deserved to have some fun.
“you guys ready?” hyunjin clapped his hands together after throwing his trash away. 
“yes boss.” you teased. 
he cheekily grinned at you. “that's the spirit!”
minho sighed deeply to himself, standing up from his seat to put on his jacket. he didn't show much emotion all dinner which made you worry for a moment before coming back to your senses. he was like this all the time. 
the three of you left the apartment and walked the short distance to hyunjin’s friend's place. it was quite the mistake to wear the skirt as your legs nearly froze into ice popsicles by the time you arrived. remind yourself to never listen to hwang hyunjin ever again- no matter how much he pouted.
parties were such an interesting concept. to dance, get drunk, and wake up the next morning in a complete daze forgetting everything you had done the night before. it was all intriguing. the strobe lights were apparent from outside of the house and there were people already stumbling out the door. it wasn't even midnight yet. 
hyunjin grabbed your hand and began to pull you towards the doors. out of habit, you turned around to minho who stood in place observing the two of you. you weren't able to deduce what his expression displayed.
“hyung, you coming?” the blonde asked, abruptly stopping to look at the brunette just how you did seconds before. you guessed you weren't the only one that noticed the lack of presence behind you.
“you guys can head in, i’m gonna stay out here for a bit.” minho muttered before walking off to the side, taking out a box of cigarettes from his jacket. 
the boy that still held quite tightly on your arm huffed. “i’m trying to get him to sto- whatever that doesn't matter right now.” he rambled before letting out a laugh. it was insane how beautiful his laugh was. it was by far one of the most beguiling things about him. “let’s just head in, yeah?”
you gave him a light smile before nodding. the two of you walked in, your friend immediately introducing you to most of his upperclassmen dancer friends that you only saw from afar. it hadn't been long before you drank your first cup of alcohol, both you and hyunjin wincing in disgust over how toxic it tasted. although, it didn't matter much because the two of you continued to drink, laughing about it after. this was all very different to you and you weren't too sure if you really liked it much. it felt more like a fever dream instead of reality. 
hyunjin and you were now finally sitting on the empty couch that took forever to claim because people seemed to not want to get up all night. “how is it so far?” hyunjin asked. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you couldn't hear a single thing he said past the blaring music. he laughed to himself over your confusion. cute. “how is it?” he yelled and your mouth opened as you finally understood.
it made you scrunch your face up in response. “it’s alright.” you leaned in closer to his ear to answer back. you seemed to fail to realize how your voice suddenly gave him goosebumps right then and there. he focused on the way your bare legs leaned towards him in an attempt to feel somewhat secure within your foregin surroundings. maybe his mind was playing tricks on him at that moment. maybe it was the liquid courage that made him think this way about his best friend. whatever it was, he tried his best to shake those sudden thoughts away. 
his cheeks were now reddened and although it was pretty dark in the room you were in, you could tell. you felt his cheek with the back of your hand. “what?” he asked, his eyes squinting as a smile curved onto his lips.
“you’re overheating.” you giggled, unknowingly pushing your legs closer onto his. this wasn't anything new: how much you attached yourself to him. yet, somehow he noticed it tonight.
he playfully rolled his eyes. “i’m sitting beside you aren't i?”
“gross jinnie.” you dramatically fake-puked, pushing his shoulder away which caused some distance to form between the two of your sitting bodies. of course, you didn't realize it. but he did. you teased him over his poor attempt to sway you and the blonde beside you simply laughed along.
“hyung!” a voice suddenly called out, causing your friend to look away from you. instantly a smile formed onto his pink lips. the unknown boy- well, to you- walked towards couch. he looked somewhat familiar.
hyunjin stood up, giving the younger boy a hug. “hey jeongin.” once pulling apart, the boy gave you one of the purest smiles ever which made your heart burst. “this is y/n. remember i told you about her? she’s in your year.” he informed.
you waved at him. “nice to meet you jeongin.”
“you too noona!” he cheerfully remarked. “how’s the night going for you both?”
before you could speak up, another person arrived where you all were at. “there you guys are!” a deep voice sighed in relief. you had met him earlier in the night, his name was felix. he too was a part of the dance program so you had always seen him on stage performing. you were glad hyunjin had introduced you to him tonight. he was one of the sweetest boys you had met all night. it somehow inspired you to start talking to your classmates as you barely attempted to formulate a relationship with any of them all semester.
the three boys all seemed close. they all sat down on the couch and began to get lost in conversation amongst themselves. you, unable to understand most of what they were saying, grew quite bored. you hadn’t realized how fast the time had gone until you checked your phone and suddenly you were brought back to reality. you hadn’t seen minho all night. 
you frowned to yourself as you wondered where he possibly could’ve been. surely he wasn't still outside all this time. well that’s what you tried to tell yourself anyway. 
you were about to stand up to try and find him before your actions were interrupted. “yo, is minho here?” felix exclaimed suddenly. “i haven't seen him in so long, i hope he’s doing okay.”
hyunjin sighed, twirling the mixture in his cup. “he lost a parent. of course he’s not doing okay.” 
“who’s not doing okay?” minho abruptly butted in. his hands were in the pockets of his puffer. so, he must’ve been outside. despite the loud music around you, silence washed over all of you.
jeongin smiled softly at him, breaking the thick silence. “oh nothing.” 
minho decided to drop the subject, plopping onto the couch beside you. your heart fell a little at the feeling of the couch dip from his weight. it surprised you how much you had missed him. although, you weren’t too sure if he thought of you at all this whole night. he was a very tricky person to read.
the boys around you, minus minho, carried on their conversation. they attempted to include him but he was giving them such dry responses that it made it hard to talk to him, so they just let him be. this resulted in you and him being pushed off to the side as you both found no place within their conversation. a month ago you would’ve revolted in your skin over how awkward the silence between the two of you was, but now you had grown so accustomed to it that it felt like second nature around him.
you never found out the reason why he made you nervous around him at times. especially when the two of you were in front of others. you had grown so close to him alone that it just felt weird doing so around others. plus, the two of you had not only gotten intimate conversationally, you had kissed. maybe that was why it felt weird being at this party with your best friend who had no clue that the boy beside you worked your face.
you cringed slightly at that thought. you began to focus more on the music within the room trying to distract yourself from everything around you. there was only a little bit of some random sugary concoction hyunjin made in your cup, so you drank it all and set your cup on the table in front of you. you were going to regret this in the morning.
sighing, you turned to face minho who was using his phone. he casually drank from his cup without looking up at you. what game was he playing tonight? usually, he would have at least acknowledged you because you made it quite obvious that you were staring at him. but he didn't budge.
“where have you been?” you asked him past the music. silence. you scoffed to yourself, sitting back in your seat. did you do something wrong?
it took a few moments before he finally answered, still not looking up from his phone. “outside.”
“were you smoking this whole time?”
“nope.”
yeah, something was probably bothering him. or maybe he just got bored of you. either way, you didn't bother to converse with him anymore. instead, you stood up which caught the attention of all the boys around you, even him.
hyunjin was the first to speak. “where are you going?”
you grabbed your empty solo cup, shaking it in the air. “refill.”
felix pointed at your cup. “be careful, there are some weirdos.”
lightly laughing, you nodded as you got the memo. you walked off into the kitchen where you had gotten your drink earlier in the night. the place was crowded, sweaty bodies and walls all around you. you had grown to appreciate hyunjin’s outfit choice for you as you no longer felt cold.
after pushing your way into the kitchen, you scanned the beverage choices on the table. you didn't know your stuff about alcohol so you were just planning to grab whatever sounded best. if you were being honest, you didn't even want to drink anymore. this was all just a ploy to get away from that couch.
“rum is pretty good.” you heard a familiar voice say from behind you. you glanced behind and just as expected, it was him. 
you could never ignore him though. “light or spiced?” you tilted your head, reading the bottles.
he stood beside you. “spiced.”
you looked up at him, giving him a quick thank you before pouring the drink into your cup. he waited for you to take a sip and once you did, you nearly gagged. “minho this is disgusting.” he laughed for the first time tonight. you studied him for a few seconds before rolling your eyes. “interesting.”
“what?”
“nothing.” you shrugged nonchalantly. 
he didn't ask any further, instead just leaned his back against the wall. “i hate parties.” an eyebrow of yours perked up as you listened. you tried to take another sip of your drink before scrunching your face in disgust once more. “i also hate people.” now that made you laugh. “they talk too much and i’m tired of it.” he confessed, taking your cup from your hands to take a sip of the spiced rum himself. he didn't seem too affected by the drink so you assumed that he liked it. “i figured out that they wouldn't go outside cause it's cold, so i just stayed out there this whole time.”
you hummed. “that’s smart.” you began to study his features as he continued to speak. you never saw him speak this much to anyone else before and his hair wasn't in its usual disheveled mess as it usually was. although, you did prefer the messier look on him. and the way his pink lips moved as he spoke took you back to when it was once on yours multiple nights. then you looked down to his neck, his adam's apple moving as he drank more from your cup. 
you wondered how it would look, littered with kisses from your red lipstick. you wished you could say you were listening to what he was saying. but, you were too busy creating images within your mind with him.
“do you wanna have sex with me?” you blurted. maybe you were drunk. he raised his eyebrows at your very blunt question. immediately regretting what you had just said, you grabbed your cup from his hand and attempted to down whatever was left in it. he was quick to move though, pulling it away from your lips.
“are you drunk?” he furrowed his eyebrows, setting the unfinished cup down.
your cheeks reddened. “i don't think so.” he looked at you for a moment before he lightly scoffed to himself amusingly. he walked off to the fridge, quick to grab a water bottle from the shelf. 
he held it out for you. “drink it.”
“but i’m n-”
“just drink it y/n.”
you pouted, taking the bottle from his hands. as you drank, he watched you do so without a word. finally finishing almost half of the bottle, you closed it. you cleared your throat as you matched his eyes. “you know, you didn't answer my question.” 
“oh, was that an actual question?” he stifled a chuckle as you rolled your eyes at him. it took awhile for him to finally take you seriously. he hummed to himself. “...well hyunjin-ah’s a pretty nice guy.”
you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. what does hyunjin have to do with anything? “yes, he is. that’s why we are friends.”
he nodded slightly to himself. “i’m not nice though.” 
you tilted your head at him. “you are though.” you eyes fell to his lips. “to me at least.”
“i’m a dick to you.” he crossed his arms, leaning his head against the wall.
“not anymore- not when we’re alone.” you corrected. he turned to look at you and your eyes finally parted away from his lips. “you’ve been good to me in your way.”
you believed that that was what set him off. because without another word leaving his lips, he grabbed your hand and the two of you walked out of the house. you didn't even care if hyunjin or his friends saw you do so. you could deal with everything tomorrow. for now all you wanted was to be with the broken boy beside you.
he let go of your hand and the silence between you thickened. you had forgotten about how cold it was outside as you had grown accustomed to the hot stuffiness of the house. it didn't help that you had left your jacket on the couch with hyunjin too. so both your arms and legs were fully exposed to the wind and air around you. 
suddenly he took off his puffer, opening it for you to insert your arms inside. “it’s ok.”
“it’s freezing. just wear it.” his eyes signaled to his puffer that was still opened for you. 
you shook your head. “what about you?” you noticed he was only wearing a shirt. 
“you’re relentless.” he sighed deeply before grabbing your arms and forcing them inside the jacket. you didn’t fight or protest as he did so. once he finished, he zipped you up and patted your shoulder. you followed close behind him like a lost puppy as you both walked the same direction you had come. 
part of you still felt bad for leaving him in the cold like that. but that soon was washed away once you realized what was actually about to happen. you were about to sleep with minho? the boy that caused a whirlwind of emotions to occur within you these past few months. the boy that you confined and found comfort in. he was really special to you. you hoped he knew that somehow.
suddenly, you interlocked your fingers with his as the two of you walked. he didn’t stop walking, instead, he tensed slightly and looked down at your hands. moments later you felt him unlock your hands from each other and you felt your cheeks flush over how embarrassed you felt at your much to forward action. were you trying too hard? you had bluntly asked him to sleep with you not too long ago and that took long in itself for him to agree too. maybe this was all a mistake.
before you could break it off and cancel your anticlimactic plans for the night, he interlocked your fingers with his. you tried your best to not pay much mind to it although your heart began to beat twice as fast. you simply allowed the quietness to be absorbed once more.
it didn't take long for the two of you to arrive at the all too familiar apartment complex. you figured things would change the next time you walked past the doors. once entering the apartment, minho finally let go of your hand. he turned on the lights to the living room and like always, you greeted his cat. 
a few seconds passed before you directed your attention to the boy in the room. you unzipped his puffer that you still wore and simply looked at him. noticing your gaze, his eyebrows rose as he was in the middle of drinking water. 
he set the glass down. “what?”
“you put it on me, take it off.” you insisted, arms outstretched as you walked closer to him. he hummed to himself, a sly smile forming onto his lips. he was trying his best to not be as affected by your sudden bluntness. “are you shy?” you laughed. “you’re acting like me.”
now that made a chuckle escape his lips. he obeyed your request, pulling off his jacket with ease. he threw it onto the couch. “you’re welcome.” he sarcastically smiled before attempting to walk away. you grabbed his wrists to turn him back towards you. you don't think he understood exactly how much you wanted his lips. “y/n…” 
you looked down at the top you were wearing, your hand still on his wrists. “off.”
“you must be drunk- there was no way you were being serious, right?” 
“i’m being serious.” you answered. 
he sighed. “you haven't even done anything before. you should save your first time for someone important in your life.”
you huffed, finally letting go of his wrist. “if you don’t wanna fuck me you could just say so minho.” 
his eyebrows rose at your language. “y/n-”
“i just don't know when you're going to realize how important you are to me.” you frowned, your arms hugged your frame. you outright exposed yourself to him, but you didn't mind. it was the truth and you were tired of living in a place where you had to hide yourself. you had found a person who brought out the deepest parts of yourself. and it scared you because there were things inside you that even you never knew existed or seen before. it was him. 
behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic. and to you, he was that.
he looked down at you, he couldn't stop himself from looking in your eyes to your lips and back again. this feeling was not new to him. but, he didn't want to rob you of your innocence. “do you really want to?” he asked quietly.
“more than anything.” you said back staring into his eyes. he walked closer to you and gently placed his hands on your cheek. he tilted your head up as he lowered his, and ever so softly pressed his lips against yours. you knew deep down that this wasn't destined to turn into anything more than friendship. but you still couldn't stop hoping that in some way, it would. you’d get so lost in his eyes that you couldn't help it. it would hurt you every time you’d hear his voice, but some of the best things in life cause the most pain, don't they?
the two of you found yourself now in his dark room. the only source of light came from the moonlight that seeped through his window. his lips never left yours and your fingers never left hair. this was happening all too fast. but it was what you wanted. for once, you wanted something. his lips finally parted from yours, immediately replacing it with the softness of your neck. he was delicate with you, like a flower. you had noticed this from the numerous times you had kissed on the roof. but this time it was different- he was taking his time with you.
you let out a breath at the feeling of his teeth grazing your neck. “tell me if you want to stop, okay?” he mumbled against you, his mouth sending vibrations through you.
“okay.” you sighed out. once hearing your affirmation, he pulled away, holding your hand to guide you to his messily made bed. he sat down and led you onto his lap. all of this was new to you and you’d be lying if you said you weren't excited. his hands found their way underneath your skirt to cup your butt as he reconnected your lips once more and so your tongue danced with his.
after a few moments, you tugged on his shirt in an attempt to pull it off. he chuckled lightly against your lips at your eagerness. his hands left your rear to grant your desire. so this was what it felt like to be spoiled. as he took off his shirt, you took it upon yourself to take off yours as well, leaving you in a bra. the way the moonlight hit him made you suck in a breath over how alluring he was. he would never see himself like that. you grazed your thumb across his cheek before he took one look at you. 
he made sure to look right at you as he placed his electrical fingers onto your skin. you knew it was wrong, but the very thought of his hands reaching up under your skirt, and touching you made you blush in all the right places. and so you pushed him back against the mattress of his bed and guided his arm back underneath your skirt as you connected your lips to his neck. you wanted him in the bluntest way. you wanted his lips, his hands, his arms.
and you didn't know how he was so familiar to you- or why it felt less like you were getting to know him and more as though you were remembering who he was. he touched you and it felt as if the stars were dancing across your skin. 
“can i take this off?” he breathed out as he lightly tugged at your skirt. you nodded from against his neck and you heard the zipper of your skirt go down. you had to stand up to allow your skirt to fall, so you did as such as he watched you silently from where he was laid. you weren't too sure if you were bloated from the pizza or all the alcohol you happened to drink earlier in the night, but nonetheless you still covered yourself as you sat down beside him. noticing your sudden shyness, he stood up to take off his pants. “we’re even now, yeah?” 
you drew a small smile onto your lips, nodding. once he took off his pants, he hovered himself over you and began to kiss down your jaw and to your neck, and all the way down your stomach. this all felt so foreign to you, but you knew there was nobody else you would have wanted to do this with.
to him, he knew what he was doing wasnt okay. especially when he noticed the way his best friend looked at you all the time. he wasnt blind and he sure too wasnt stupid. it was obvious to him that hyunjin liked you. yet why was he doing this to him?
nonetheless, minho’s hand traveled its way down to your clothed, wet core. you shuttered slightly at the feeling of his fingers against it. “m-minho.” you hummed, his fingers continuing to graze. “please.” you whispered, a soft moan leaving your lips. 
and just like before, he listened to you and pushed aside your underwear to directly feel your wet folds. you allowed your legs to spread apart even more to let him do whatever he wanted with you. you were starting to become such a mess for him and in a matter of seconds, he inserted a finger in you.
your mouth dropped and your eyes shut closed at the feeling. “is this okay?” he asked, amused by your tensed face as he began to thrust his finger inside. 
“y-yes.” 
he inserted another and your back arched slightly. “how about now?”
you couldn't answer him this time as you fell concentrated onto the tightness that began to build up at the bottom of your stomach. clenching onto his sheets beneath you, you gasped at the sudden increase in his pace. so this was what it felt like.
his lips now hovered over yours that parted ever so slightly from his movements. you wished you could tell him how amazing he made you feel at that moment, but you couldn't focus enough to do so. so you let your soft moans fill his room as he continued to fill you up with his fingers. 
you began to feel a knot in your stomach begin to tighten as your mouth fell ajar. this was what pleasure was. he matched your lips with his to consume your moans as it sounded like harmonic epiphanies in his ear and he wanted a taste. 
seconds later, your high washed over you and it was as though someone had slid ice cubes down against your back. the way you moaned into his mouth as your eyes slammed shut at the feeling of ecstasy that hit your body- all because of him.
he rode out your high, taking his fingers from out your core afterwards. his lips messily fell from your mouth and he mumbled something against your jawline. although, you weren't able to make sense of it as your mind was still flooded with the aftereffects of his doings.
a few moments later, he pulled away observing you from above before he stood back onto his legs. “do you want me to continue?” he asked and you felt your cheeks heat up from his constant worry to not overstep. 
you nodded. “yes.”
that was what he needed to hear as he took off his plaid boxers and leaned once more against you on his bed. you figured you should’ve taken off something as well as he was now naked and well, you were still in your undergarments. so you pulled off your underwear and unclipped your bra in the most timid way he had ever seen. he smiled to himself over how shy you were.
normally, you would have immediately covered yourself with your arms just like previously- but- the feeling of his bare self pressed onto yours caused a rush of chills down your spine and you liked it. you liked your body when it was with his.
he wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked. your lipstick was smudged and your mascara was a mess. you would’ve freaked out if you had known you looked as such, but to him he loved it. 
he hovered over you, his arms on either side of you. and that was when you saw it. suddenly, your eyes had regained their vision as you looked at his extended arm. he wore his scars as his best attire. no one else saw it and no one else wanted to. only you saw the beauty behind the tragedy. 
you traced your fingers over the scars. you wanted to cry so badly. he held so much sadness that you could even touch the scars of his soul and cry. and all of a sudden you found yourself tearing up at the mere sight of them. 
he noticed it all. from the way you grazed your fingers against them which made him tense up for a moment. and from the way you tried to hold back the tears that glistened in your eyes, fighting to escape. even from the way you looked back up at him as if nothing ever happened. he noticed it all and it was because of him. “i’m okay.” he started. “i’m okay now.” you sniffled lightly as his thumb wiped away the single tear that finally won. “don’t worry about me too much.” he continued, giving you a reassuring, soft smile. 
“okay.” you finally said. you weren’t too sure if the mood in the room had died out because of you right now. in fact you grew quite embarrassed over how you nearly balled your eyes out in the middle of having sex for the first time.
but he didn't seem to dwell on it too much as he changed the subject. “i'll stop if it hurts too much.” he told you as he lined himself against your entrance. you weren't too sure on what to expect in a matter of seconds. you were just happy that it was with him. he had seen you at your highest and at your lowest. there wasn't anybody else you wanted here instead.
and as he slid himself into you, your wetness from your climax made the arrival much easier, your mouth parted whilst he filled you to the brim. he didn't move, allowing you to adjust to his size and the foreign feeling inside you. he simply pushed your hair away from your slick forehead as you did so.
after a few moments, you spoke up. “you can go.” you winced slightly. he was hesitant as he noticed your expression but you reassured him once more and he began to move. by the first thrust, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fought off both the pain and the tears from earlier. and by the second, your hands found their way into his hair like always and he kissed down your neck.
his movements were clean and fluid much as you expected. after all, he was a dancer. 
it was when you felt his hand grab one of yours that was still entangled within his hair that you let out the whinest moan. he had interlocked his fingers with yours and that feeling made you throw your head back in pleasure. he was so intimate with you and you wouldn't have expected it. he had such a brutal personality that it scared you before, and now as you laid underneath him- his moans and grunts were music to your ears. you could laugh at your old naive self.
soon enough, you felt a familiar knot begin to form within your core as your lips parted. you were a quick study to minho. he already was able to know when you were about to finish. “i’m abo- about to co-” you struggled to announce as he continued his leveled movements within you. seconds later, you felt your second orgasm of the night hit you like a ton of bricks. this was much more extreme than the previous one and it had lasted longer. you attempted to conceal your moans by kissing down his jaw but instead covered your mouth with your hand.
he too was nearly close as his once consistent thrusts became much sloppier as a result of hearing your climax. his hands still interlocked with yours, he squeezed it tightly as he allowed his head to fall into the crook of your neck while he finally released himself in you. he slowly rode out his high and you winced at the overstimulation it had caused you. he was quick to realize and pulled himself out of you, his white arousal seeping out from your throbbing core. he’d never admit it, but it was one sight he surely would never forget.
silence overtook the once vocal room and all that was heard was the pants of the two of you as you both attempted to regain your breaths. you had trusted him with a part of you that nobody had ever seen and he had taken you under his wing ever so carefully. you were his work of art that night.
once he mustered up enough energy, he stood up and slipped back into his boxers and a pair of sweats. he then walked out of his room as you wondered where he could've gone. the bed felt much colder without his presence and that was when you noticed that his window was open the entire time allowing the cold to come in. a few moments later, the door opened again and he walked in with a dampened towel in his hands. without a word, he laid himself back in between your legs as he cleaned you up. you were still quite sensitive to touch so when you felt the cloth against your core, you bit onto your lip to suppress the feeling. 
the sex itself was amazing, passionate, but it wasnt what made your heart flutter. it was the moment after, when he came back into his bed and you just laid together, tangled in each other's limbs. everything around you just stopped and it was only him that mattered in that moment. 
he rolled over cautiously to face you, gently shifting his grip around your waist as if he was afraid you might break. you let your heavy eyes drift away from the white ceiling and into his. “i want you to know something...” he started. 
whenever he looked at you, he could see it in your face. you thought you were able to hide it, but he saw you. he saw the hurt, the quiet pleas dancing on your bottom lip, too afraid to be voiced, too afraid to be heard, because you were too afraid to be hurt.
“hm?” you asked, feeling the chillness of winter that blew from the opened window.
“i want you to be happy. i want your life to be as beautiful as you.” he softly confessed. to him, you were beautiful in so many ways. not just in the way your hair looked in the wind or how your eyes would always dance across the room. you were beautiful for who you were and you had spent your whole life trying to make everyone else happy. “i don't want to live in a world where you don’t exist.”
that was when you felt a feeling you hadn't ever felt before. maybe it was love or even just an after effect of what you had just done. but it was quite beautiful, beautiful chaos. his vulnerability was safe with you.
and as you laid there listening to his sweet words embrace you, you knew, someday when the pages of your life ended, that he would be one of its most beautiful chapters.
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“y/n, i wish you understood how hard this is for me." your mom sighed. her under eyes were darker than they were the last time you had seen her. she was undeniably broken. sitting on a metal iron bed and wearing a white gown. you had lost yourself for a moment. "have you been eating? you look so skinny." you didn't want to say anything. you were scared that you would’ve ended up crying. it was evident, you never liked coming here. "do i look skinny?" she asked another question.
you hesitantly nodded, a bright smile formed onto her lips. "now go get me a cigarette, would you?" she pointed to the dark dresser in the room. as she raised her arm to point, her vibrant red slit marks from last week were still prominent. if you never found her in the bathroom she would've been dead.
you were never a fan of her smoking but you never had a choice in it. so you gave her the cigarettes that you had snuck into the building yesterday. as you watched her light the end of the stick, you began to notice her thin, scarce hair that kept falling out and her chapped lips. you remembered that habits eventually became a lifestyle. maybe it was all in your head.
ugly. your dad called her ugly. you never noticed the ugliness in her face. she had to be one of the most beautiful people you had ever laid your eyes on. she was raising two kids whose definition of beauty came from the word mom. it was our own mental attitude that made the world for what it was. our thoughts made things beautiful, our thoughts made things ugly. the whole world was in our own mind.
weeks passed and you continued to sit down on the uncomfortable grey chair listening to your mom ramble nonsense. the medication was slowly making her crazier by the day, and you never realized it until she was fully gone. she slipped right through my fingers.
"don't let people know too much about you." she coughed out, before burning her last cigarette against a ceramic plate. "they'll never understand."
she was never the same afterwards. she was made out of tests and pills and the mom you had once known stayed still as a statue. she was gone. she was completely gone and there was nothing you could do to save her.
it was a friday, and just like every other day, you sat in her room staring at her. except, it was different this time. you were due to leave for university in a few hours. you stared at her and realized that at that exact moment, every single thing about your life had changed forever. the hardest part of losing someone wasn’t having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. always trying to fill the void- the emptiness that was left inside your heart when they were gone.
"what do you want to do?" you hummed, swinging your legs as they dangled off the roof. in the midst of all the corruption entangled in yours and minho’s minds, you didn't know what to do. life was something that was taken for granted all of the time, and many people didn't realize it until it was too late. until the final breaths were drawn that concluded one's journey- game over. what do you want to do?
"huh?"
"what do you want to do minho?" you repeated, facing him. "in life." it was six in the morning, his under eyes were prominent in showing the lack of sleep he was receiving. sleep was something that you were never a real fan of anyways. somehow the hours between twelve and six in the morning had a funny habit of making you feel like you're either on top of the world, or under it. sleeping during it would be impossible.
he pondered over your question. “life." a light scoff escaped his lips, as if he was laughing at the mere thought of it. but soon, he furrowed his eyebrows, sighing. "i wanna get out of here." he replied.
"out of the city?" you asked and he nodded. "why?" he shrugged. he must've thought you had a face of uncertainty because he lightly frowned to himself. you wanted to take it back.
he waited a few moments before replying. "hm, maybe not."
"minho, it's okay to want things." you touched his hand. like always, he tensed up for a moment before relaxing in your touch. within the past few months you had known him, he never did well with physical touch unless he was the one that started it. that was okay. just like you, he had a hard life and he accepted it. and here he was, living despite it all
he stared at you for a few seconds, the wind blowing through his hair. despite the thickness of it, the wind blew right through. "what do you want to do?" he disregarded your statement- it was what he was best at.
you shrugged. "i haven't figured it out yet."
"probably become a famous dancer right?"
you pulled your legs up to your chest. "that was the dream- i’m not too sure anymore." you traced your fingers against your leg. "i probably would never know." the two of you sat listening to the wind rustling through the trees, and the cars driving below. it was a calming noise in the morning.
"when did you stop caring?" he abruptly asked. you were confused. "-you're obviously falling apart yourself."
“was falling apart.” you corrected his sudden remark. “i'm doing perfectly fine now." you crossed your arms.
he rolled his eyes, sighing to himself at your lack of competence. "y/n, you're starving yourself."
"not anymore." you defended. you weren't.
he shook his head, scoffing. "people too often forget that it is your own choice how you want to spend the rest of your life." the both of you sat in silence, something you were accustomed to so easily. "i was supposed to kill myself last december on the seventeenth." he pointed out. 
you turned, you never showed him a drop of worry. "oh." yet, you wanted to scream, you wanted to cry- maybe all the things in between. 
“i just figured that if i killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate and the seasons would still change… so why not?” he lightly chuckled to himself as he played with his usual black rubber band. “but i didn't." he continued.
"oh." you drew a thin line with your mouth.
"maybe next year."
"maybe." you turned back to the scenery. he continued to fiddle the elastic with his fingers, not saying a word more. "why december seventeenth?"
he carelessly shrugged. "i liked the sound of it. twelve seventeen, twenty seventeen."
you wanted to ask him why he changed his mind but you didn't want to dwell on the topic too much. so instead you reached for your bag, digging into it before grabbing ahold of a single rose- a single dead rose. hyunjin had given you that rose last week after your last dance showcase of the semester. you never cared enough to allow it to live. the boy beside you didn't bother to look at what you had pulled out. that was, until you put the rose in his hair behind his ear.
"you make the dead look so alive." you said and he lightly smiled thinking you were talking about the dead rose you had put in his hair. but you weren't. you were talking about his dead soul. 
he looked so alive when he smiled- even if it was just a small one- but little did anyone know he had died a long time ago.
that was the last time you saw him. he had left the city, to do what? you had no idea. he never said goodbye and you never got the chance to either. if you did you would’ve only wished him the best though.  
you were in love with him, but he never knew because you weren't ready to tell him how you felt. you wanted to scream and tell him “i love you with all my heart,” but it was too late. he went far away from you.
and it wasn't like he didn't care about you too. he did. but he was held back by his responsibilities and would’ve rather drowned in his own problems than the depths of your eyes. it wasn't that he didn't want to make it work. in some way, you both tried. but you had the fear of not being enough and he had the fear of growing too attached. you see, you cared for one another but were too oblivious to realize it until he was gone. and now that he was, you had missed everything beautiful about him.
sometimes whenever you thought of him, it made you angry- so angry to the point where you simply wished you never met him. that you never went to return the pointe shoes hyunjin gave you that one night where you grabbed minho’s scarred arms. or that you offered to help him- or that you spent most of your nights propped onto a rooftop of a ten story building. 
you wished you never went to him that one night that led into another and another and soon became a daily thing, morning and night. you wished you had never kissed him back that night; it wouldn’t have led into even more. you shouldn't have asked him to take your innocence as all he did was write his name in bold all over you. you just kind of wish none of it ever happened. then maybe it wouldn’t have hurt this bad.
but sometimes when you thought of him, you wanted to thank him. you wanted to thank him for everything he had given you. he was your favorite yet most painful story to tell. 
the way his lips felt against yours, or how your bodies entwined together perfectly, nestled under a pile of blankets, you wanted to thank him. just like the way he laughed, you almost forgot how he would look at you right before you let the stars consume you. he was so much more than anyone could see. he was the music that once made him laugh and the shows that once made him smile. everything from how he liked his alcohol, to how he got his scars drawn onto his arms. 
it was beautiful how angelic he was. he had the most breathtaking laugh that every time he cut himself, an angel got their wings.
he might’ve not been as important to everyone else, likewise, neither was every little thing about him. but to you, he was your everything at the time. he was everything. and you missed everything.
and through this all he never wanted your help- he somehow, in his corrupt mind, didn't need it. maybe if you tried harder to fight for him, he wouldn't have left so soon. you wondered if he had gotten better. but how could he? he was falling deeper and deeper by the second into a dark void. 
and maybe he wouldn't see it today or tomorrow, but he would look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought him somewhere wonderful- somewhere he’d always wanted to be. he would be grateful that things didn't work out the way he once wanted them to.
it’s was a beautiful revelation to know that all of that pain was not in vain. that he took the long way home, learned the lesson that came with each sharp corner, and broke himself into the unbreakable version he wanted to be.
maybe then he would finally feel how liberating being alive could actually be.
everything was happening just as it should. it was only the perception of difficulties that caused the distress experienced. people labeled events as bad, yet failed to understand the benefit that awaited them in the end. and in the end, the universe never made mistakes.
but, if life was such a gift, why did it feel like a burden?
he had spent his whole life stuck in a labyrinth, thinking about how he'd escape one day and how amazing it would be. imagining the future kept him going. and he used it to escape the present when in reality, he was trapped. trapped into a formation that no matter how much he wanted to escape, he couldn't.
perhaps one day you would meet again as characters in a different story. maybe then you would’ve shared a lifetime.
until then, it was almost as if he stuck going in the same three directions: back, side, front.
over and over again, stuck in a pas de bourrée.
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chronosaurusnot · a month ago
Text
Headcanon: skz in a party
warnings: +18 but not really any, suggestive maybe?
note: so i’m back after two rough months with a really soft headcanon! i actually wanted it to be kinda smutty at first, but i don’t know why it ended up being more about the kissing that anything else lmao. btw i’m already working on a smut that i’ll post as soon as i finish it, so i hope you wait for it cause i promise i’ll be really good (or at least i’ll try lol)
as always, i’d like to clarify that english is not my first language, so please let me know if there are any mistakes, and feel free to give me suggestions, cause i think it’ll be cool if you like any part of this thoughts and want to give me ideas for smuts out of them!!
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Bangchan
he is the one to organize the night with the guys, asking for a vip table and everything, and probably will stay there the whole night.
he is the humble popular boy, everyone wants to be with him and he will be nice with all of them.
but he already has the eye on you; you are his goal of the night.
he will get close to you by playing the nice guy and saying silly stuff to get your trust. after a chat he will offer you a drink, and here is when i drive CRAZY
we all know he has the most beautiful hands and this bitch knows his power. so he will take his wallet off his pocket and play? with it to get your attention to his hands. “what do you wanna drink sweetheart?” he’ll literally buy you every drink you want. not because he wants to get you drunk but because he wants to show you how a big pleaser he is.
after a drink he’ll be like “can we dance?” and he will be suuuuch a teaser. he’ll get closer and closer every time, holding you by the waist. and just when you feel you are about to kiss or something, he’ll be like “i’ll go to the bathroom, i’ll be back”.
but when he’s back he will kiss you just like that. a goood and long kiss, while the rest of the night is full of soft touches and teasing.
type of kisser: the soft and slow one, full of soft touches on your waist and back, his other hand always on your cheek, neck or hair. he can read the timing so well, he just know when to use his tongue, when to bite your lip, when to heat it up.
Lee Know
he is that kind of guy who enters the party at the last minute cause he don’t wanna get attention. but with his look that’s impossible, so everyone looks at him as he gets in the place, eyes rolled back to play like he doesn’t care.
but the most important part is, he also goes with a target for the night. and as soon as he sees you, you become his goal.
his plan is to pretend like he hasn’t see you cause he loves to play the hard to get, but he’s dying to get your attention.
and you notice he also loves the way you try to avoid him by the way he smirks when you look away after he catches you looking, so you wait for him to come to you.
after watching you from the distance, he finally gets to you. “do i have something on my face, sweetheart?” he teases you with a smirk on his face. and you can tell he’s dying for you to tell him how you’re feeling because of him.
if you follow his play by being a little bratty, he’ll be even more into it.
while dancing he would be soo gentle, getting closer and closer to you in every step.
he’ll turn you around all of the sudden, “for how much longer you’re gonna keep teasing me, honey?” he says to you while caressing your lips.
type of kisser: depending on his mood basically? like i feel he doesn’t have a type actually, but i just know he’s a big fan of kissing in front of people, just to brag to yourself how you pick him up among the rest of the people. and loves any kind of touching...
Changbin
yes i’m gonna say he’s the cool rich boy who goes to parties the whole time, im sorry.
but hear me out, he’s just so humble and sweet with everyone. he’ll have the vip table with his friends, and will pay for that one friend who has no money cause he just wanna have fun with them.
we all know he is a really flirty man, so that’s even worse in parties. he’ll check up on everyone he finds attractive. but as soon as he sees you that’s over; and he won’t give up until you’re his.
he’s really confident about himself, so he’ll go straight to you. “how are you princess?” he’ll keep casually chatting with you, with a smirk on his face. he’ll also ask with who you came with, you know to see if one of your friends could be with one of his, he likes to play the cupido lmao.
he’ll ask you to dance and you won’t even know how it happened but you are sooo close to him. your bodys so close, he’l tease you so much to give you a kiss cause he wants to see you desperate.
type of kisser: sweet and soft at first; hard and rough as the night goes on. he has no hurry, could be all night long with slow kisses cause he pays more attention to touches. so… he’ll caress you sweetly at first, but then he would touch you more and more.
Hyunjin
we all know he’s the cool boy who everyone looks at during the whole night. he could be dancing and laughing with his friends till he gets sleepy, cause he just wants to have a good time.
but when he goes to the bar to get some drink, that’s when he pays attention to his arounds. and there he finds you looking at him, smiling back with a smirk.
i just know he is soo into looking and exchanging smiles and guilty looks from the distance, so he’ll take his time till he finally gets you.
“i was actually waiting for you to come to me, sweetheart”. he’ll introduce to you just like that but with a sweet tone in his voice and face. and such an intense look.
yes, the whole dancing is full of teasing and constant eye contact. he’ll get so close to your body and then all of the sudden we will get a little apart, enjoying you frustrated and confused face. but after that, he’ll hold your waist to get you close to him to kiss you all of the sudden.
type of kisser: the surprising one, who kisses you when you least expect it. so soft and slow, he just knows how good his fluffy lips must feel. i feel like he’s the type to smile after the first kiss, but in a hot way if you know what i mean. a fan of holding you by your neck and hair; and if you touch his, you’ll drive him crazy.
Jisung
he loves to party and its the clown of the group, but we already know how shy he actually is.
when he sees you, he can’t keep his eyes off of you. and when you notice, he gets sooo shy and cute.
he’ll keep looking at you and smiling, and you can tell he isn’t gonna take the first step, so you get to him.
he’s aware he looked like a coward, so he’ll go in a joking way “you couldn’t wait for me, princess?”. and it’s so cute to see him play the cool guy when it’s so obvious he’s really nervous.
but that attitude disappears after a couple minutes, and you can’t really understand at what moment he’s become so confident ?? smirking at you, talking in a flirty way, getting closer to you as the time goes by.
he’ll dance with you if you want to, but he just prefers to talk and flirt with you in that kind of way. and when he feels confident enough, he’ll play the “i can’t hear you well, the music is really loud, do you wanna go somewhere more calm?”.
type of kisser: he’ll play with your hair so much before kissing you, holding your face and neck with both of his hands. he likes wet kisses and loves to receive soft touches from you. but when things get heated up, he’s the most touchy one. i mean, that’s why he’ll always ask you to go to a place where you can have more intimacy.
Felix
i feel like he’s a mix of hyunjin and jisung. the cool pretty boy who everyone looks at, very confident about himself, but as soon as he sees someone he likes he gets super shy.
he loves to be dancing, and when he notices you’re looking at him he smiles at you. but as soon as you invite him to come over he’ll get so shy about it that you could see him gaining strength to make the first move.
“would you dance with me, honey?” he’ll say to your ear with his deep and soft voice, making you shiver. he was looking all shy, but as soon as you start dancing there is no space between the both of you.
his touch is so soft and hot at the same time, he just knows what he’s doing. one hand will always be holding your waist, and the other one will go changing places. if you’re a little shy, he’ll take your hands and place them around his neck, smiling with a mix of sweetness and desire for your touch.
type of kisser: so so so soft and sweet at first; slow and steady. so much tongue, but in such a pleasing way. his hands always moving to caress different parts of your body. and when it gets heated up, that’s just worse: prepare yourself for a lot of touching cause this man has no shame in being seen.
Seungmin
he gets miscarried as the shy boy cause he is calm, but he is actually really confident. the kind to be quiet and dangerous.
as soon as you look back at him he’ll go to you, and offer you a drink. he pays attention to every gesture you make, and uses the chat to try to analyze what kind of person you are; what you seem to be into. also aware of his pretty hands, so if he sees you looking at them he’ll find the way to keep you staring.
he’ll chat with you in such a flirty way. he’ll find always the right moments to praise you and tell you how pretty you are.
before kissing he’ll get closer to you by touching you in ways that make you believe he’s just about to do it, but it’s actually just more and more teasing.
type of kisser: slow and rough, just so so hot. one hand always on your neck, finding the way to show you who is the one with the control over the whole situation.
Jeongin
he’s the kind to play confident but he’s actually so so shy.
he has his eye on you since the beginning, but he’ll take his time to come talk to you.
he’ll get to you offering you a drink, to later on ask you to dance.
he’s desperate for your touch, smiling at you when you hold his neck for dancing, taking that as an invitation for his touch.
a fan of holding your waist, getting you closer and closer to him. you can feel how nervous he actually is, but at the same time he looks so hot. cause, after all, he’s letting no space between you two.
type of kisser: soft and sloppy, but he gets the rhythm. his problem is he over thinks the whole thing, so instead of letting go in the moment he’s firstly worried about what would you like the most. but after those thoughts vanish, he’ll kiss you so good you can keep going forever. also really aware of his pretty hands, using them to hold you by your neck most of the time.
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spilledtee · a month ago
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𝐀 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨
Word Count: 4.6k
Warning: smut, dirty talk, small humiliation, degradation, choking, oral (f. receiving), wine feeding(?), riding, use of pet names, use of the name sir, hair pulling, glove fetishism, possessive!Minho, dom!Minho established relationship
Synopsis: After telling you that he would rather not spend his birthday out, you’re welcome to a surprise from you boyfriend when he decides how he truly wants to spend his birthday
A/N: I didn’t proof read this but I still hope you enjoy this :) also happy birthday to Minho! 
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“It’s open.” You suddenly heard at the other side of your shared apartment’s door. You let out a huff of air, thinking that your boyfriend was telepathetic. Minho seemed to always know when you would get home, even despite being rather late and not telling him that you would be working overtime. He always had…
“Perfect timing.” You muttered to yourself as you tired the door handle. It swung open easily, and you stepped into the almost completely darkened apartment and clearly confused. Usually, his cats would be there to greet you, meowing and welcoming you home. But there was nothing. Reluctantly closing the door behind you, you allowed your eyes time to adjust, only to whip your head around when you heard a small flicker sound. There on your dining table was a candle casting a soft glow. You sighed. Minho had told you that because you were working that he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday, that it wasn’t a big deal. In fact, the two of you had gotten into a pretty heated fight earlier this week about it, but you let it go because it was his birthday. Not to mention the make up sex that came with it, was convincing enough to drop the topic. However, this surprised you slightly. Changing his mind all of a sudden was definitely not something your boyfriend did and causing a fuss earlier definitely was not appealing in his case. “Lee Minho, I swear, if you think that I’m letting you off the hook for this, you’ve got another-” The words died in your throat as you rounded the corner, and saw what was in front of you, making your mouth fall agape and eyes completely bug out.
There, in the living room, with candles and floor lamps surrounding him on the couch you had tried so desperately to convince Minho to get rid of months before you even moved in together, was your boyfriend. Your vision had completely honed on what he was wearing though. Usually dressed in casual sweats and shirts, he had decided to dress a bit more upscale, specifically a tuxedo. Your eyes took in how the well tailored suit fitted his frame, his muscles practically pushing against the fabric of his dress pants and white dress shirt he wore under. He looked at you from underneath his long lashes, his head tilted to the side as he lazily got up, pushing himself off the couch with leather covered hands. “Welcome home.” He greeted you simply, gesturing over to the wine glasses that had been on your glass, coffee table.
You couldn’t find the words to answer him. Just moments ago, you were all worked up because you thought he had changed his mind to go out for his birthday. You had been ready to storm in and give him a piece of your mind. Now though, you found yourself getting worked up in an entirely different manner, while being excruciatingly aware that you were completely underdressed, still in your work uniform and you had just been shocked stupid at the complete 180 Minho had made on behalf of his own birthday. You couldn’t stop staring at the carefully embroidered suit that was accented by the silver-grey tie that was at his throat. Minho always knew how to dress well, especially now. His entire ensemble complimented his beautiful eyes and his perfectly, sculpted face. Everything was picture perfect. Clearing your throat at the sudden lump that had appeared in it, you have your best attempt at an apologetic smile. “Hi. Can I ask what is all this? I thought you didn’t want to go out.”
Minho answered you with a smile of his own. “Well, we’re not going out. We’re just gonna stay at home, just you and me. That’s all I want for my birthday.” Well, you couldn’t argue with that, especially with the way his rather blunt tone stated the obvious. “I bet you want to get out of your uniform, yeah?” You were quite tempted to ask him to help, but you were still slightly shocked by this surprise. You nodded slightly, holding your breath in anticipation for something you weren’t sure was coming. Minho switched his gaze to the bedroom door, and your heart skipped a beat slightly. “Go on ahead. I also bought something for you.”
“On your birthday?” You questioned, arching your brow slightly.
A glint of mischief passed through his eyes before he gave you a rather strict look. “Are you really going to question me why I bought you something on my birthday?” He asked and when you gave him the same look without responding, he rolled his eyes. “Go on before I punish you.” He said, tapping your butt to shoo you into the bedroom.
With a small smirk you turned back to him. “Now, you’re making it sound enticing.”
He rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. “Go. You smell and I don’t want you to ruin my birthday with your workplace stench.”  A small grumble left your lips, to which your boyfriend moved closer to you, placing a small kiss on your forehead. The rather sweet and rare gesture catching you by surprise. “I can wait for you a little longer, but please do this for me? I wanted to spend my birthday, just the two of us, so please?”
Blinking a few times at his wounds, you simply settled for nodding again before walking to your shared bedroom. You felt his eyes on your back the entire time as you were crossing the living room. It wasn’t until you were from his rather piercing gaze and behind the door of your bedroom that you let out a breath, you didn’t realize you’d been holding. You never knew what to expect with him after all. Your thoughts broke when you realized the cat tree that was usually in your living room was now in the bedroom. It seemed that Minho had meant for just the two of you to celebrate because Soonie, Doognie and Dori had settled in your room. Who was this and what had they done with your boyfriend? He usually never put anyone, even yourself above his cats. You rested the back of your head against the door and tried to rearrange the thoughts that were swirling through your mind, but it was to no avail. You had to always be on your toes while dating Minho, that’s what came with your allurious sex life, but this was definitely something that had blindsided you. Some part of you thought that he didn’t even know how to tie a tie, let alone get into a full suit without his stylist team at least helping him. Nevertheless, you appreciated how handsome he looked, as he always did. However, men in suits had the same effect on women as it did for men looking at women in lingerie. So appealing, so well put together, it was enough to make anyone’s head spin. Especially, when it came to your boyfriend.
Your thoughts broke hearing his cats again, decided to take whatever thoughts you had to the bathroom, mind still in a daze. You got to work stripping off your clothes rather mechanically, before settling blissfully under the hot stream of water in the shower. After making to sure to wash yourself rather thoroughly, making sure to wash the lingering smells of work were completely gone, you had almost forgotten about the surreal evening ahead of you until you stepped back into the bedroom and staring at the black bag, along with the black ensemble arranged on the bed that you didn’t even get a good glance at in your haste to escape your boyfriend earlier.
You knew that Minho had been shopping with his friends recently, however, you hadn’t been aware that he bought something for you. You lifted the rather skimpy, almost floor length black dress from the bed to look at its simplicity, noting that the material was somewhat stretching in order to accentuate your curves. Then you moved to gaze over what had been in the black bag and nearly choked on your spit, causing the cats in the room to look at you, alarmed by your sudden reaction. There in the bag were garters, stockings, and from what you could assume by the strings of it, were panties but were even more skimpier than the dress. Part of you wasn’t sure which part was the crotch and which was the waistline. You knew that Minho had already been into dressing you up, but how in the hell were supposed to get this on. Glancing back at the closed door, you half expected your boyfriend to lose his patience with you and barge in and throw you on the bed to tell you that you were being a rather bad girl for keeping him waiting. The feeling of having him drive into you senselessly as he always did, seemed so appealing. Regardless, Minho had preferred to play this game with you and he was staying true to his word by waiting for you to come out. 
It took a little while for you to finally get fully dressed, getting the clasps of the garter belt working to your advantage (finally), and even longer to make sure that stockings were even on your thighs properly. You glanced up to the mirror across from you. Straightening up and taking your time to admire your boyfriend’s taste in lingerie and how it had transformed you into almost a seductress. The lace from the garter belts accentuated your ass hat had been left bare by the accompanying though. Maybe you would have to take your boyfriend underwear shopping with you, because you made a mental note of how good you look. The only thing that had been missing from this outfit was the matching bra… which you also noted that it was not included in the set that he had gotten you. You could already see the smirk of your boyfriend knowing you'd have to go out without it. Part of you understood why though, because as you slipped the dress over your head, the smooth fabric settling perfectly over your skin, you were made aware of how much air you felt through the thin material. Especially when you took a step, the dress would shift in a way that exposed the entirety of your legs all the way up to your hip bone. Minho definitely knew what he was doing buying this dress. 
That made you feel a sudden wave of nervousness as you placed your hand over the doorknob. You willed yourself not to think too much on it though, as you stepped back into the livingroom and closed the door behind you. Minho had always been beautiful, a classic beauty if you will, one that made you sometimes question why such a beautiful man and your own self were dating. Even more so when his piercing gaze shifted over to you when you reappeared, tracing your body with heated eyes that seemed to run phantom fingertips along your skin as he took in your outfit. Your heartbeat quickened in response, making you swallow as you stepped closer to him. You were now very hyper aware of how much this ensemble was exposing you to him now. He seemed to take note of your reaction, a smirk appearing on his face. “You look nice.” He told, almost too smugly, as if he hadn’t been the one to choose this outfit in the first place. 
You rolled your eyes, attempting to look unbothered and hide your nerves. “I have you to thank for that, don’t I?”
He only continued to smirk, chuckling even from your bold statement, as he continued to stare at you. You had no idea how long you stood there as he just took in your appearance, before taking a sip of wine. You were waiting for something else, but it seemed that this little staring game that you both seemed two were playing. It was when you started to shift your weight from one foot to the other, hoping to settle those nerves you hadn’t completely managed to wrangle. Minho, being the observant man he was, finally spoke. “You don’t like me staring at you like this do you?”
He always seemed to know what you were thinking. You gave him a rather pointed look to match his smug one. “I don’t think anyone likes being stared at.”
With that he stood up, making you regard the way that he had approached you, touching your arm in reassurance. “What if it was me staring at you? Because right now it doesn’t seem like you hate it. I think you want something else.” You opened your mouth to possibly get into a debate with him, but you had become distracted by the leather, gloved fingertips along your arm. The rough material on your skin was enough to make you squirm slightly, goosebumps rising in wake of his touch and further dismantled your train of thought. It made Minho chuckle again as he pulled away from you to grab his wine glass that had been set on the table. “Did you want some?” He asked you, lifting the glass to his lips and took a healthy sip before pulling close and closing his mouth over yours. His tongue danced with yours as the wine washed over your tastebuds and down your throat. You gave a small shiver at the sensations of him holding you so tenderly, yet he was pushing his tongue within you so vigorously so that you could taste every bit of the red liquid. He stepped back, regarding you with a lidded gaze. “Did you like it, hm?”
“I… uh… yes.” You managed, licking your lips and wondering if the only reason the wine was good was because you had drank it in such a manner. You never thought drinking wine like you were a baby bird had been anything you would have found attractive but your boyfriend doing it seemed to be the exception.
“Would you like some more?” He offered, gloved hand trailing down your arm before gently grasping your hand in his and leading you back to the couch. An oddly, romantic gesture from your boyfriend, but you wouldn’t argue as you gingerly situated yourself between his muscular thighs, attempting not to feel too exposed now that you were sitting down. Minho easily steadied you, his hand burning into your lower back as he poured himself a refill. “Help me finish the glass, alright kitten?”
That nickname, the accursed name made you practically puddy in his hands. That, along with the idea of taking another gulp of wine from his mouth was all the more thrilling. You loved making out with Minho in general, he had perfect lips, but the wine added another element to how addictive and indescribable he was. You simply sat there as he slowly drained the glass sip by sip, getting trained to automatically meet his lips whenever he lowered the glass. The kisses gradually turned deeper the tipsier you became. All the while Minho had let the hand that was once at the small of your back drift down and slip underneath the hem of the dress to squeeze the flesh of your ass. You hummed from the action, moving from on his legs to straddling one of them, grinding your core over the pants he wore and easily feeling his clothed erection as you kissed him with more urgency. “You’re being a little needy.” He commented, lips still attacking you as he mumbled out the words.
You gasped, coming up for air and looking down on him. His eyes had completely darkened, either from the lust he must have been feeling or anger because you had pulled away. You weren’t sure, so you began to speak. “As hot as you are in this, I need you out of it.” Your breathless voice told. With the bottle of wine finally finished and forgotten, you got to work buttoning the suit jacket, abandoning your assault on his mouth in order to divert all your attention to your current task. Your fingers undeftly, possibly due to all the wine you had drank, reached the knot on his tie, all the while one of his gloved hands were reaching between your bodies to massage your clit while trying to undress him. You failed miserably, the action of his hand making you let out a breathy moan. Minho simply smirked, which only served to fuel your actions. You knew that touching yourself without his permission, much less on his birthday, was cause for punishment but his reaction was so sickly sweet, you had to continue.
Minho, who had decided enough was enough of this game, whipped his tie harshly off his neck and tossed it to the floor, all the while watching as you worked as fast to get the button loose of his dress shirt. With his neck and chest finally exposed, you placed your mouth at his pulse point. Instinctively bucking into you from the action, you heard him suck in a breath in order to cut off the beginnings of a moan before increasing motions of his fingers on your bundle of nerves. You responded quickly, sucking hard at the same spot, leaving your mark there before trailing kisses up to his earlobe and pulling it between your teeth. That was enough to stop his actions, as he pushed you off of him. A smirk formed on your lips, seeing how disheveled and flushed he was. Your normally composed, well trained, full of self control, boyfriend was losing it. It seemed that he read your thoughts because his eyes instantly narrowed. “You really think I’m just going to let you get away from that?”
“I don’t know. Ask the mark on your neck.” You haughty replied, drawing your eyes down to his belt and already seeing him training through his pants. 
Minho, reflexes as fast as ever, grabbed the ends of your hair, yanking your head back enough to cause your mouth to fall open. His gloved fingers found their way to your lips, the leather caressing your lower lip. “Be a good little kitten and get these off of me, hm?” He practically growled. You didn’t have to be asked twice, taking the fingers he offered you. Carefully you took them one by one, working the garment off of him with your teeth. As soon as the last finger was freed, Minho yanked it out of your mouth in order to kiss you rather passionately. The other hand that was still in your hair kept you against him as you felt his bare fingers push away your underwear, or rather lack thereof, before snapping in against your skin causing you to yelp against his mouth. You could feel him smirk against the kiss, feeling your squirm from the contact of his fingers now touching you. His actions cause your juices to leak out and right onto those crips dress pants he was wearing. You couldn’t let him win that easily though, grasping onto his belly and working it loose. Minho, however, had the same mindset as he easily inserted two fingers into you, curling them into your velvety walls, a rather ragged breath came from you and you could feel your mind slowly slipping. Thankfully, you found the strength to work the button of his pants open though, fingertips tugging down the elastic of his briefs. Your boyfriend easily responded by brushing his thumb against your clit, curling his fingers within you again, causing you to cry out. “I think you celebrated too early. It’s not your birthday after all.” He told you, his smug attitude dripping off his words. “Lay down on the couch for me and spread your legs, kitten. I want to see how pretty you look in this dress.”
With your mind muddled, you could only find yourself listening to him. His eyes slide down the skirt of your dress, your hands already beating him to it to push away the fabric of the dress so that you were exposed to him fully. The action was automatic as he buried his face into you. You gasped, arching beneath as he opened his mouth to taste you ever so intimately. The very idea of his tongue exploring every inch of you, every curve and fold, had you biting your lip and closing your eyes. When Minho’s rather eager tongue, possibly from having to wait for you all day, made contact with your clit you couldn’t control the lewd moan that tore through your lips. He answered you with one of his one, the sound muffled by having your core against his face. Your hand, without hesitation, threaded through his hair, tugging everytime his tongue poked right at your g-spot. When you tugged, he answered back each time with a sound against your pussy and it was wreaking havoc on your body. Sucking hard, you felt your thighs clamp down on his head, attempting to push him away. With a small, frustrated grunt, his eyes turn up to you. His lips were dampened from the mixture of your juices and saliva. “Let me have a taste. You wouldn’t say ‘no’ on my birthday right?” You nodded. “Then be a good kitten, let me.”
His words ignited something within you, as you allowed him to continue working his mouth against you. With every brazen touch only seemed to drive him further. It was as if he wanted to taste every inch of your wet folds, his tongue delving into your core as though you were another one of the many fine dishes he often cooked for you or his friends. When he pushed his tongue into your entrance it took all of your self-control not to cry out loud enough that you were sure your neighbours were going to hear you. Minho always worked at you expertly, eating you out like a starved man, cuking you with his tongue and working your clit with a calloused thumb. You couldn’t help but writhe beneath his actions, all breathless gasps and helpless moans as your orgasm began to build. Those intense eyes, filled with such darkened lust, no laser-focused on you all the while. You could feel them burning through you even with your eyes shut. The idea was enough for you to lose yourself in the ecstasy, cumming all too quickly on his tongue. 
“So good for me. If only you were like this always kitten.” You couldn’t even find the breath to respond to the praise and he knew that as his lips were on you again. They tasted of you, your essence still coating his lips and chin. He broke away from you too quickly, earning a whine, to which he ignored to shed away only his pants and boxers before returning to you. 
His strong arms pull you on top of him, once again you were above Minho, straddling. However, this time you knew that you didn’t have the upper hand. You knew that Minho was the one in control of this situation, as he always was. “Minho, sir I-”
“Don’t keep me waiting.” His words were rather pointed, as his eyes hardened knowing that you knew what to do. You eased yourself above him, positioned yourself as you eased onto his cock slowly, a breathless moan escaping you as he stretched you. This was heaven, feeling your bodies fit so well together as though you were meant to take him, which he always seemed to remind you every time you were like this. You adjusted him inside of you, taking him inch by inch until the dull pain turned into pleasure, as you braced your hands on his muscular chest. 
He watched you through a haze of lust, gazing up at you from beneath lidded eyes. His hands gripped your thighs, less to steady you but more to exercise his dominance over you. The force of his fingers pressing into the sensitive flesh would definitely leave a bruise, but you cared little for it. You had marked Minho so it was only fair that he could mark you. His hips thrusted upward into you, feeling you tighten around him as the tip of his cock brushed against your g-spot. “So pretty...just for me.” He murmured, his eyes searing into your skin as his fingertips sunk into your thighs again. You only moaned in reply, losing all sense of how to speak as he matched the thrust of his hips with your own. “You’ll never belong to anyone but me. I want to tell your friends that, my friends, even your family. You belong to me no else. Say it.”
It was not a request, but a statement of fact. You shook your head, too enthralled to the overwhelming pleasure of your boyfriend that you could only simply agree. “No...never! I belong to you!”
“Then cum for me and show me you belong to me.” He commanded, increasing the thrust of his hips as you bounced on his cock.
You follow through in his command, cumming just for him, proving to him that you belonged to him. Minho’s name fell from your lips, squeezing your thighs around his waist as you tumbled over the into your high. Maybe it was the wine, the initial shock of the whole situation but the orgasm hit you made completely reel above him. You spasmed around him in what seemed like endless waves, only chanting his name as if it was going to ground you in some way. Minho rode you hard through your release, chasing his own as the darkened gaze in his eyes, so animalistic and lust filled, bore into you. The way you had clamped down on him only spurred him, finally cumming, as a growl escaped from him as he emptied himself inside of you, feeling his grip loosen on you. The sound of your harmony of moans at the feeling of finally being connected like this intimately was what brought you back to your senses. 
Pulling you close to him, Minho let out a content sigh. “I love you.”
“Really? Or are you just saying that so that you can fuck me again and get me to say I am yours?” You question, giving him a small smile as you nestled into his chest. 
Rolling his eyes, Minho nearly shoved you off of him. “I won’t say it again then. Get off my dick you’re annoying me.”
“I love you too.” You mused, not moving, knowing that he would let you be.
“Yeah, whatever.”
You leaned over and kissed his nose. “Happy birthday. Can I get some cuddles now?”
“No.” He huffed. “It’s my birthday and I need to clean up, you have cum leaking out of you. Plus you still smell.”
You scoffed, getting off of him and feeling your legs wobble slightly but you still had enough strength to move. “That’s rude.” You told, nearly tripping.
That made Minho let out an exasperated sigh. “Here. Stay on the couch and I’ll get a bath ready for you and then we can cuddle okay?”
“Can I get that on tape that you’re being nice to me?” You asked.
Again he rolled his eyes, ignoring your comment and heading into your shared bedroom and his cats suddenly rushing out of the room. Despite Minho smiling from his birthday, it seemed that Soonie, Doognie, and Dori had been upset about being stuck in your bedroom all day. Oh, well, you made your boyfriend happy that’s what mattered.
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© All rights reserved to spilledtee. There is no copying or modifying of writing. Translating and reposting work is prohibited. Please inform me if you see anything similar to my work.
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jl-micasea-fics · a month ago
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𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏: 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟏𝟑
𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊: Breeding kink
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Self-insert, female reader x Stray Kids Lee Know
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Strong language, explicit sexual content, themes of pregnancy, unprotected sex, cumplay and mild degradation, breeding
𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐕: Kinktober contents list | Kinktober prompt list
𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: © October 2021 by jl-micasea ​
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Maybe you were being crazy.
It wasn't a stretch to say you felt that way, what with your boyfriend's tendencies at the best of times. He was enough to drive you there and then some.
Normally, you could deal with it.
Dismiss his weird little comments and his passing remarks as nothing more than Minho being Minho, and go about your day.
But today... you simply couldn't shake off this one.
Much like all his other annoyances, this too, had been a remiss little statement he'd made over your favourite television show the night before. Out of completely nowhere.
"I think you'd look great pregnant. Heavily pregnant, you know? I wonder how it'd feel to fuck you like that..."
At the time, you'd done what you did best. Rolled your eyes at him and ignored.
But now, you found yourself standing before the floor length mirror in your bedroom, a small scatter cushion squished up and shoved beneath your shirt, presenting a rather rotund appearance.
A pregnant appearance.
Your hands on your hips, your lips pursed in confusion and mild satisfaction, you began to wonder just the same thing as Minho had done.
What would it feel like to be fucked like this?
"... Y/N?"
Minho's voice had you shrieking in fright, you turned to see him leaning against the door frame of the bedroom, loosening the tie around his neck.
"B- Baby, hey. I didn't hear you come in, why didn't you call-"
"What the hell are you doing?" He interrupts.
You glanced down at yourself, then back at him, feeling your cheeks heat in furious embarrassment as you frantically yank the cushion from under your shirt, tossing it back to the bed.
"N- Nothing! I wasn't doing anything, I was just... Warming myself up. I got cold."
"Warming yourself up?" He drawls, stepping into the room. "And you didn't think to... Oh, I don't know. Put on a hoodie, or turn on the heating. No... You decided to cram a pillow under your clothes."
Your heart begins to pound as he adopted that sultry swagger he did when he was after one thing, and one thing only.
He always got it.
You laughed nervously, taking a step back as he approached you, undoing the top few buttons of his crisp suit shirt.
Even after a long work day, with his caramel hair swept back and the perfect planes of his chest just visible beneath the thin fabric of his clothes, he looked fucking immaculate.
The very picture of a man that knows what they want.
"You haven't by any chance been thinking about what I said last night, have you?" He asks quietly.
"No, I just-"
"Because if you had..." he mumbled. "Well, I'd have to tell you hard I get thinking about filling you full of my cum and watching your tummy grow with my seed inside you."
You choked on any retort you could give, slotting easily into his arms as he wound them around you, pulling you into his embrace.
He closed the distance between you, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss far too tender for what he'd just confessed to, and indeed, you found yourself cursing out your desires for being able to picture nothing but what he had just described.
Jesus.
"Would my baby like that?" He asked against your lips. "To be fucked until she's good and full with all my cum?"
Your eyes rolled back into your head with delight as he slid his lips down the expanse of your neck, nibbling and teasing, raising goosebumps across your skin.
"Talk to me, sweet thing-"
"Y- Yes..."
More of a breath than an actual spoken word, but Minho accepted it all the same.
He directed you to the bed, turning you in his arms and holding you flush to his front as he repositioned you.
Sinking to his knees, he brought your jeans down with his descent, smothering your rear in soft kisses before he caressed your cheeks with both large hands, moulding you into submission.
"Going to fuck you so deep, baby..." he groaned, tilting you forwards over the bed and unclasping the belt from around his waist.
Tight anticipation ran through your veins as you heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper coming undone, and before you could chance to prepare yourself, you felt the tender stretch.
Your stomach flipped with excitement as he entered you slowly, carefully, his girth and length offering more than a sensation of fullness to your greedy, tender walls. A groan of utter satisfaction left you as he began to move, his hands firm in the curve of your hips, his motions ever controlled.
"I'll breed you so fucking good," he hissed, his biceps flexing with the movement. "Stuff you with my seed over and over again..."
"M- Mhm, yes, please...."
"Yeah? My innocent whore wants to be used, does she?"
"I do... I want it so bad, Minho... Fuck me until I can't walk, until I'm big and full with your load."
"Dirty little frothing cocksleeve..." he moaned. "Fuck, you feel like heaven around me, baby."
His motions picked up as he began to lose himself in the moment, and indeed, all you felt in the throws of that passion with him was the unrivalled desire to carry his babies. To feel the beginnings of a life he put inside you, to give him that gift and make him so, so proud of you.
Your hands pressed indents to the mattress, your knees knocking against the bed frame itself, sure to be red raw in the morning.
Yet Minho was nothing if not true to his word.
A gentle slap to your rear caused you to tighten around him, the resulting hiss that slipped through his locked teeth attesting to his struggle to keep himself together.
Each thrust was more fluid than the last, each one inching you closer to that place of utter bliss as he held still for but a second when he filled you to his base, only to retract to the tip and repeat the action.
Over, and over, and over again... His grunts of desire become more frequent, his grip on your hips harsher as he flipped you to your front, lifting you to the bed proper.
Spreading your legs as far as he could reasonably get them, his darkened gaze was utterly transfixed to the sight of his cock pumping your hole, and as he began to tremble helplessly, beads of sweat forming down his neck, you knew him to be desperately close.
"Please..." you whimpered, clinging to the bed sheets beside you. "Please cum inside me, baby..."
"I..  I'm cumming, oh fuck-"
His complexion burnt and breath ragged, you felt his warm release flood you, felt his tension dissipate as he continued to gently fuck his substance deeper.
"M- Mhm... my god, baby. Look at all the cum you take," he praised. "You milk my cock so well, you greedy thing."
You watched him in awe as he retracted himself from you, only to dip his finger to the mess he'd created as it slipped from you, trickling between your cheeks.
He slicked his finger in his substance, collecting it neatly before he penetrated you with his sodden, sticky digits, putting all the precious seed back where it belonged.
"My little breeding bitch... You don't waste a drop of this now, okay?"
"Okay..."
"Good girl," he muttered, licking his lips deliciously. "Now then... let's see about rewarding you."
***
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: Lee Minhooooo STOP IT REEE. 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐚
𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: ➡
𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊: ➡
𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑: ➡
𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓: ➡
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binnieurl · 3 months ago
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𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨
minho doesn’t usually have the time to stay in with you. he always has another schedule, another practice, another meeting he has to attend. so the moments you do have with him, in the quiet domesticity of the morning, are precious. 
you can’t help but stare at him as the early morning sun hits his face, accentuating his features. he’s soft. when he’s awake, there’s always lines of worry running up and down in face, but when he’s asleep, it looks as if years have been taken from him. he’s so at peace. you think he should always be like that — at peace. 
you reached a hand out to smooth his hair, giggling softly at the tangles that had appeared during the night. your fingers got stuck in them as you ran them through his hair, making him grunt softly as he cracked open his eyes, glancing down at you from his place beside you under the covers. 
“sorry, did i wake you up?” you asked, keeping your voice as quiet and soft as possible, trying not to ruin the atmosphere. 
“mmh..” is his grumbled response, eyes closed again. you apologize again in a quiet voice, making him huff and pull you closer, pushing your head into his chest while he nuzzles his face into your neck. “don’t wan’ t’get up yet.” 
you smile at the way he slurs his words, one hand resting on his chest, the other reaching behind him, tracing little patterns onto the muscles of his back. “you’re warm.” you mumble into his chest, snuggling further into him.
“mmh..” he responds, his grip on you tightening. “only for you~” he coos against the crook of your neck, pressing a little kiss to the skin. 
you giggle, fingers tapping against his skin. it really wasn’t much. just a small morning you got to share together. hell, minho wasn’t even really awake yet, but it was all you wanted. you wished every day could be like this. wrapped in minho’s arms, having that feeling of warmth and safety that radiates from him when you’re with him. 
“minnie,” you prod again, grinning when you hear him grunt again, the vibration of his voice running against your neck. “i love you, y’know that? i love you so much.” 
there’s no response for a few moments — not that you needed one — before you feel his lips pull back in a smile against your skin. he presses a kiss against the top of collarbone, the tickling sensation making you giggle, before he pulls back so he can meet your eyes. 
“you’re in a mood this morning.” he teases, reaching a hand out to push the loose strands of hair away from your face. 
you roll your eyes, but make no move to erase the grin from your face or shift away from him. “i am.” you agree, resting your head against his unoccupied, outstretched arm. “can i not love up on my lovely boyfriend?” 
“no, you definitely can.” he flashes you that smirk of his, his hand leaving your hair to poke your nose. “i deserve the compliments.” 
normally you would raise your eyebrows and scoff. minho always had a way of making soft moments about his huge ego, but you felt like playing into it this morning. “you do.” you agree again, nodding along with his statement. “you deserve all the compliments and all the love i can give.” 
minho doesn’t miss a beat, chuckling at the way you were so ready to go along with him. “yeah? keep going then.” 
“well, i love your voice.” you smile up at him. “both talking and singing. and your dancing is superb, but everyone knows that.” he nods along, his eyes pressed up into little crescent moons. “and i love your smile. and your sense of humor.” you list off again. “oh, and the way you always hold my hand when we go out together. and the way your hugs feel, oh my god—"
you’re cut off by a soft — although slightly chapped — pair of lips on yours, moving against you gently. you close your eyes, letting yourself melt into the kiss. minho pulls back, watching you with a gentle smile on his face as you refuse to open your eyes, basking in his warmth a little longer. 
“i love you too, baby.” he tells you, before pressing little kisses to the side of your jaw, making you sigh contentedly. you wished every morning could be like this.
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soleilsuhh · a month ago
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stray kids headcanons ◞♡ ° how they would hug their s/o
request — i'm so in love with your writing faye jssjjs your works literally hits right in my feels like thank u for existing gosh ,, can i suggest sth for stray kids, like how they would hug their s/o? ilu have a beautiful day faye!
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chan hugs with his whole heart, like he's pouring his love for you through the embrace, wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you close; the kind of hugs that are just tight enough that they make you feel safe and protected. and sometimes, you're startled by his arms suddenly encircling around you from the side or behind and he chuckles softly against your hair, "sorry baby; just wanted you in my arms,"
minho's hugs are a little aggressive and demanding at first, albeit in a playful manner. he corners you and traps you in his arms, laughter erupting from both of you as he holds you tight against him, and you have no choice but to happily relent and melt into his touch. and gradually the atmosphere shifts; before long, it's all soft and blithe as he places a single gentle kiss on your cheek.
changbin's hugs are bursting with happiness and energy; it's the type of hugs you're swallowed in not just his arms but also his presence; the smell of him, the sunny smiles and happy giggles; and just the sheer excitement and joy of the moment makes you feel like you're lifted off your feet.
hyunjin hugs you all the time; when you're cooking in the kitchen, he's lightly holding you from behind; when you're waiting in line, he hugs you from the side because 'standing is awkward'; and when you're chilling together on the couch on lazy days, he pulls you on top of him and holds you close, nuzzling into your neck as he lets out a sigh of satisfaction. there's something about his hugs that's so languid yet tender.
jisung hugs you so frequently that it almost feels like he's an extension of yourself; the kind of hugs where he playfully pokes your side and tickles you just to annoy you but immediately pulls you back against him when you pull away, gleeful grins gracing on your faces; his hugs are fun and affectionate, it's all teasing smiles against skin, cheeks squishing against each other's, and gently messing hair up.
felix's hugs are the epitome of sweetness; sometimes, his arms are gentle, giving you space to breathe, and sometimes, they're tight and strong, letting your whole being know that he's here with you. and he does this little thing where he closes his eyes and smiles as he hugs you just a bit closer before mumbling sweet-nothings in your ears or asking you about your day.
seungmin quietly sneaks up behind you and puts his chin on your shoulder, one arm loosely wrapped around you. and sometimes he doesn’t say a word, casually watching whatever you’re doing on your device; but most times, he starts small conversation like what you’re having for dinner. and often he turns you around mid-conversation so that he can give you a proper hug and a few forehead pecks, smiling at the way your lips quirk upwards.
jeongin listens to your heartbeat as he lays his head on your chest. his hugs feel like home; they're comfortable and warm and are often accompanied by hand-holdings, deep talks, and silly conversations. your voices are hushed and soft then he says something funny and your eyes meet in between laughter and it's like time has frozen and it's just you and him, perfectly blissed and in love.
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softukiyos · 7 months ago
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the enemies to lovers project | lee minho
𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚: 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵; 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘶, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧
𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣: 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 -- 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘺, 𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥.
𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: ~18𝘬+
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘢/𝘯: 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺!!! 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦! 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘩𝘩 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 >.< 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵! 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥!
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prologue.
“You know I despise you, right?”
“Oh, despise. Such a big word, baby,” Minho drawled with an obnoxious smirk, the one that simultaneously made you want to rip his hair out and kiss those perfectly delectable lips of his, “If it's any consolation, I abhor your presence as well.”
“Wonderful,” you crossed your legs, a smile creeping onto your face as you leaned backward in your chair, “So why exactly are you here?”
Minho laughed, “The same reason I presume that you’re here for. A hundred dollars to put up with you is a tempting offer.”
You couldn't help but laugh, and you glanced over at the camera pointed at you and Minho, with your mutual friend, Han Jisung, directing the operation. Right, both you and Minho would receive a hundred dollars if you participated in his little social experiment about love. Of course, he'd wanted the two of you to do it for free, but neither of you would budge unless there was at least a little bit of monetary incentive. You loved Jisung, you really did, but you weren't going to willingly spend time with Minho unless there was something else to gain. 
“Alright, let's get started before the two of you claw at each other's throats like a pair of angry cats,” Jisung clapped his hands together as he stepped out from behind the camera, “I assume the two of you have a basic idea of the experiment?”
“Of course not, Sungie. It's not like you ran through your proposal to me through FaceTime twenty thousand times before presenting it to your professors,” Minho replied with a pleasant smile. 
“And it's not like I read through your written proposal double that amount before you had the courage to hand it in,” you supplied with a similarly saccharine expression. 
Jisung sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fingers, “Why are the two of you genuinely the nicest people I’ve ever met but somehow turn into demons when you’re together?” He muttered, mostly to himself. 
“It’s not too late to get rid of us and find some other test subjects, Sungie,” you called out with a smile, “We know we’re hard to handle.”
“No way. The two of you are perfect for this project, and I’m not going to let either of you slip out of my fingers after I worked so hard to get you two here,” Jisung refused your offer. Clearing his throat, he decided to begin, not wanting to give either of you more time to get hostile.
“Alright, so you’re both familiar with the basics. The experiment will take about one month, and the data will be recorded in these notebooks,” he said, the camera behind him recording his verbal instructions as he walked forward and handed both you and Minho a small, leather bound notebook, “These will serve as your diaries for the duration of the test.” 
Minho perused through the empty lined pages with a snort, “What are we supposed to do, write our undying confessions on these pages?”
“You’re going to write your honest feelings about each other. And by honest, I mean really do mean honest. Neither of you are ever going to read what the other person writes about you, so you don’t have to worry about your reputation or whatever,” Jisung explained, “I’ll be extrapolating information from your entries and your entries only.”
You hummed in acknowledgement, glancing at Minho as he closed the book and and leaned back in his seat, “So that’s it, right? We date for a month and write down whether we still hate each other after every encounter?”
Jisung threw a weary glare at him, “Theoretically, yes. The purpose of this experiment is to see if the actions of love will foster any actual feelings of love to appear even if there weren’t any in the first place. The two of you will go on dates, leave each other cute notes, anything that you would do with your significant other. And after each of these, you will write down a diary entry about how you feel about that person. At the end of the month, I’ll collect the two notebooks to write my thesis. Any questions?”
You glanced at Minho, who raised a questioning eyebrow at you as if waiting for you to speak first. After a long moment of palpable silence, your lips curved into a smile, “A bold move of you to find the two people least likely to develop feelings for each other, Sungie.”
Jisung dropped his psychology major professionalism for a moment and smirked, “You know I never half-ass anything. So no questions?”
Minho raised his hand obnoxiously, speaking before Jisung even bothered to call on him, “What happens if one of us falls for the other? Do we win something?”
“No, you competitive little shit. No one is winning or losing anything. This experiment is just to document the progression of romantic feelings or lack thereof,” Jisung glared at his best friend, “You’re not trying to prevent yourself from changing your feelings about the person one way or the other, got it?”
But Minho was no longer paying attention to him, his annoyingly beautiful smile now aimed at you across the table, “You’re going to fall in love with me so quickly, Sungie’s little experiment will be over in a week.”
Your competitive edged roared to life at the provocation, and you smirked, flipping the pen around your fingers, “Your diary is going to be filled with love letters to me once I’m through with you.”
“Oh dear,” Jisung groaned to himself as he walked over to shut off the camera, a weary expression visible on his face.
This was going to be a very long month. 
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i.
You never once thought there would come a day that you would walk out of your apartment to see Minho waiting for you, nonchalantly leaning against his blood red accented motorcycle and his famous leather jacket.
“What is this?” You asked suspiciously, as if poking at his intentions with a ten foot pole. 
Minho rolled his eyes, “I'm taking you to class? Why else would I have dragged myself out of bed at ass o’clock in the morning?”
“You're taking me to class on this?” You gestured toward the motorcycle with a hint of disdain, but Minho saw right through you, his lips curling in a smug smile.
“There's no need to be scared, baby,” he sauntered towards you and patted your head, “I'll always protect you.”
Scowling, you swatted his hand away, “Don't do that. It's so weird,” you huffed, fixing your hair. 
“You know that's the point of this whole damn thing, right?” Minho said with a hint of annoyance as he felt churlishly irritated by your constant resistance. Did you really hate him that much?
“No, the point is to do these actions in a genuine and heartfelt manner. Everything you say is fake,” you said plainly, looking him straight in the eye.
Minho couldn't help but scoff, “How is it supposed to be genuine when I don't feel anything for you?”
“You start off with basic friendship. That's not as hard, right?” You said as you reached into your large bag and pulled out a container of milk bread, “Here. This is my Day 1 gift for you.”
Minho’s face went slack as he took the container gingerly, treating it like a live explosive, “You made this?”
“Yeah, made two loaves last night,” you answered, surprised by the sudden softness in his tone. Okay, this was awkward, and you couldn't help but cringe as you extended your hand, “If you don't like it, I can take it back—”
“Hell no,” Minho yanked his arms away from yours and pulled the plastic container to his chest defensively, “You gave it to me, so it's mine!”
You blinked in surprise, your hand falling to your side, “I see,” you said before shifting on your heels and nodding, “Okay, I'll see you later, whenever that is,” you took the chance for a quick escape, turning and beginning to walk to class. 
“Wait.”
A gasp left your lips as Minho grabbed your wrist, making you turn back around to face him, “I have a helmet for you, okay? And I'll drive slower,” he muttered, his eyes trained on the floor and darting around anxiously, “I won't get you hurt, I promise." 
You studied him carefully, his tone of voice, his posture, anything that would give away some hidden agenda, but there was none. Looking down at his hand still wrapped around your wrist, you relented, "Alright, I'll go with you." 
Minho nodded, leading you over to his motorcycle and grabbing the extra helmet from behind. Before you could take it from him, he moved it out of your grasp, "Have you ever even used a motorcycle helmet before? If you put it on wrong, it's not going to do you any good," he said snappishly as he adjusted a few of the straps and fitted it onto your head. 
Unconsciously, you held your breath as he leaned towards you, slipping a finger between the strap and your chin before snapping it shut, "It's not too tight, yeah?" he asked as he pulled away, and you could only shake your head mutely, "Good." 
Swinging a leg over, he climbed onto his motorcycle, easily putting his own helmet on before turning to look at you as he pushed up the visor, "Here. Climb on behind me." 
You eyed the motorcycle with a hint of disdain as you approached it, “And what am I supposed to hold onto so I don’t fall to my untimely death?” You asked dryly.
Unfortunately, that was the wrong question to ask, and the gleam apparent in Minho’s eyes told you that, despite his surprising show of kindness, Lee Minho was still Lee Minho, and Lee Minho was a fucking asshole.
“Why, you hold onto me, of course,” he said pleasantly, “Unless, you’d rather fall off the bike and shatter your bones. The other option is to walk, but seeing that it’s almost 8:30 already, you’d probably end up being late.”
Clenching your jaw so hard you were sure it was going to be sore for days, you stalked over to the motorcycle and swung your leg over it, climbing on haphazardly. You’ve seen the movies; you knew how you were supposed to ride a motorcycle from behind, and your arms tentatively wrapped around Minho’s midriff, avoiding as much bodily contact as possible.
Minho snorted, “You know, if you hold on like that, you’re gonna fall off anyways.”
“Mind your own business--fuck!” A squeak left your lips as Minho suddenly revved the engine and the motorcycle lurched forward. Out of pure instinct, your arms tightened around him, and you buried your face in his back. The time could not have been more perfect, and you felt a rush of anger as you realized that he was just messing with you, “Don’t fucking do that!”
The asshole just laughed, “Aw, come on, I wouldn’t have done it for real. But you seriously need to hold on, okay?”
You huffed, scowling underneath the helmet as you kept your arms locked around his waist, begrudgingly learning your lesson, “Just drive.”
“Sure thing, sweetheart,” Minho revved the engine again and started the journey, albeit with a much smoother start as the two of you began to speed down the street and towards the literature building. 
When you arrived at your destination with Minho pulling up right to the front of the building, you were practically squeezing him like a life-sized plushie, your eyes squeezed shut and your face smushed into his leather jacket.
“You can let go now, darling,” he chuckled as he used his foot to push out the kickstand. Cheeks flushed with embarrassment, you detached from him like two magnets of the same pole, getting off the motorcycle. 
“I am--” you gasped for breath as you yanked off your helmet, “never doing that again.”
Minho laughed as he took the helmet from you and put it in the container at the back of his bike, “Hey, you’re here with five minutes to spare! If anything, you should be thanking me, sweetheart.”
Your glare was frightening as you finally relented with a huff, “I’m grateful for the ride here, but next time, no motorcycle, please.”
“Next time? Who said anything about a next time?” The boy positively giggled as you realized your mistake. Minho never said anything about a next time! What were you thinking? Now, he probably thought you wanted him to take you to school every morning, which was absolutely not the case!
“Oh, whatever!” You snapped, utterly fed up as you threw up your hands in total exasperation and marched up the staircase without so much as a goodbye. 
Minho’s smug laughter echoed in your ears as you stepped into the building, “Love you too, sweetheart!” 
~
(name): day 1 
action(s): drive to school 
notes: utterly infuriating. an arrogant, smug, flirtatious little shit that thinks he’s the king of the world. he brought his motorcycle out of the blue to pick me up when he knows i flipped out the last time i rode one with jisung (yes, sungie, i am still mad). 
i did get to class early though, because of him, and that’s rare for me. silver linings, i guess.
~
lee minho: day 1 
action(s): drive to school
notes: a stuck up little princess as always, whining and complaining about every little thing that doesn’t go her way. shouldn’t she be happy enough that i came to take her to her class? nope, she just kicked up a fuss about it being a motorcycle. did she think i was going to remember when she had a meltdown riding it last time? (it was funny, sungie, don’t mind her.) i barely got so much of a thank you when i got her to the lit building, early, no less.
the milk bread was good, though. maybe i’ll try to convince her to make me another loaf.
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ii. 
First dates were always weird. First dates were even weirder when you were about to go out with your fake-social-experiment boyfriend that you didn’t even like.
What were you supposed to even wear? Were you supposed to dress to impress (not that Minho would ever be impressed with anything you do)? Or were you supposed to dress like you just rolled out of bed? In the end, you opted for something in between the two extremes, hoping that you weren’t going to face the embarrassment of being over or underdressed.
Luckily, Minho didn’t change his daily look too much for the date, opting for a pair of ripped black jeans, a loose t-shirt, and--of course--the leather jacket he never left home without. At this point, you were honestly convinced that Minho was having some sort of romantic relationship with that jacket.
But what was out of the ordinary was the small bouquet of vibrant carnations that he held in one hand as he browsed his phone with the other. They looked wildly out of place in comparison to the rest of his get up, and the contrast was so amusing to you that you couldn’t help but smile as you walked over to him.
“Are those flowers for me?” You asked sweetly, clicking your heels. Minho glanced up from his phone, his eyes darting up and down, and you knew he was assessing your outfit the way you had assessed his. 
“No, these are for my other social experiment girlfriend,” he said with a dry smile, handing them to you, “I heard from Jisung that you hate flowers, so of course I had to get you a bouquet for our special day.”
“Carnations are actually my favorite type of flower, so thank you very much,” you replied, sniffing at the bouquet before glancing around, “Where’s your motorcycle again? In maintenance?”
Minho’s face twitched for a split second before he nodded, “Yeah, I scratched it up real bad. We can just take the bus again.”
You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, but you said nothing more about the topic as the two of you walked to the nearest bus stations. After the first day, you had never seen Minho’s motorcycle again despite the fact that he walks you to your class almost every other day (he skips the days when he has work). What was even more suspicious was that he always had an excuse for not bringing it: he crashed it and it needs maintenance, he forgot to fill the gas tank, Jisung was borrowing it, etc. 
They weren’t bad excuses, but it’s been almost a week, and you were beginning to suspect that there was more to the missing motorcycle than he was telling you.
“Who recommended this place?” Minho asked as you took the seat at the station and he leaned against the wall.
“Jisung did, actually,” you laughed a little, pulling out your phone and clicking into the link of the restaurant Jisung had sent you, showing it to Minho.
The boy scrunched his nose with distaste as he glanced at the restaurant images, “Did you really think it was wise to leave our first date in the hands of the man who’s never actually had one successful date before?” 
“He said it was a control variable or whatever,” you said, placing your phone back in your purse, “Besides, I checked the reviews, and most of them only had good things to say. Why? Is this not your ideal first date?”
Minho scoffed, lips curling into a smirk, “I don’t really do first dates, sweetheart.”
“Oh? So what do you do?” You asked with a hint of annoyance clear in your tone, “One night stands?”
The boy shrugged, “Mostly. Why put the effort to try and create something concrete when it’ll fall apart soon enough anyway?”
You couldn’t help but scrunch your nose at his words, once again being hit with the realization that you and Minho were as different as people came, “That’s a rather morbid way of looking at things.”
“It’s realistic and it’s safe. That’s all I really need at this moment,” Minho said shortly as his eyes darted down the street, and he pushed himself off the wall, “The bus is here. Let’s go.”
Without stopping to wait for you, he walked to the edge of the sidewalk as the bus pulled up to greet him. There was nothing you could do but silently follow him, wondering what Minho had gone through to adopt such a cynical mindset about love. 
“What about you?” Minho asked rather suddenly when the two of you had arrived at the restaurant, settled into your table, and were already waiting for your food to arrive. There had been such a long interval of time between the previous conversation and the current one that you didn’t even process the intention of his question for a long moment.
“I’m sorry?”
Minho bit his lip, and he looked like he was regretting the fact that he couldn’t contain his curiosity, “What are your experiences with first dates?” He asked, resting his elbows on the table, “You have had a few, right?”
With a questioning eyebrow, you swirled the small amount of red wine in your glass, “I’m not quite sure whether your question is a genuine one or just another insult.”
“Why can’t it be both?” Minho asked innocently. 
Rolling your eyes, you sipped at your wine before answering, "I've had a few first dates, fewer seconds, and no thirds." 
Minho considered your words, "What went wrong? Clashing personalities? Scheduling conflicts?" 
You scowled, placing down your glass as you grit your teeth, "You're a nosy little shit, aren't you?" 
“Hey,” Minho raised his arms in mock surrender, “if I'm about to be your social experiment boyfriend for a month, I should know what I'm getting into, for my sake and yours.”
Leveling a withered glare at him, you couldn't help but begrudgingly admit that Minho had a point. If the two of you couldn't be honest with each other, this experiment wouldn't work. Like the mastermind had said early on, honesty was a key part of the project. Damn you, Han Jisung. 
“Eventually, every man gets annoyed by the fact that they'll always be second in importance,” you finally spoke as you swirl the wine again, “They say they understand, but in the end, they'll never settle for a woman who puts their passions over their relationships. They want attentiveness, constant coddling, constant affection. They want to be nagged, they want me to be the one that messages first, and I'm just not the type.”
For the first time, Minho’s gaze upon you was devoid of arrogance and that giant defensive wall he’d always had up. His expression had turned almost thoughtful in a way, as if he was really looking at you, really trying to see you for who you were, and you couldn’t help but cringe slightly under his stare, smiling bitterly, “Did I scare you off, too?”
Minho seemed to jolt out of whatever daze he was in, a laugh leaving his lips, “Nah, princess, you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he chuckled, putting down his wine glass as he spoke again, “It’s not your fault that they felt inferior dating someone that was more driven than them. It’s their loss, honestly.”
“Really?” You failed to hide your surprise, not expecting to find support in someone that was so different from you.
“A relationship isn’t supposed to hinder you from doing the things you love. You’re supposed to do them in tandem and support each other during the process,” Minho said, and as you searched for the punchline, for the part of the conversation where Minho would bark out a scathing laugh and point at your disappointed face, you realized there was none. You suddenly had a strange revelation that you may have misjudged the man sitting across from you. 
“If you have such a wise impression about love, why do you never try it out?” You asked softly, studying his expression like always, but you stopped searching for something malicious about him, since the search had been fruitless so far. Now, you were simply curious, slowly trying to learn more about him.
Minho shrugged with a wry smile, “Just because the solution exists in theory doesn't mean it truly exists.” 
"You don't think you'll ever find someone like that?" You asked. 
"Well, if they're out there somewhere, they haven't shown up in my life yet, so..." Minho trailed off, his expression rather nonchalant at first glance, but you were slowly getting better at reading him. He felt wronged, probably by someone in the past that didn't support his endeavors. 
You let the conversation drop as your food finally arrived, and the seriousness of the evening seemed to dissipate as the food took precedence. When the bill was finally paid (the two of you split it after a long discussion), you walked out with your arm looped around Minho's, and despite yourself, you didn't hate it all that much. 
“So, we're gonna beat the shit out of Jisung for forcing us to go to such an expensive restaurant, right?” Minho hummed as the two of you walked back to your apartment. You tried not to focus on the fact that Minho hadn't pulled his arm away, keeping you snug against his side. 
“I like the way you think,” you laughed, your heels clicking against the ground, “Tell you what, how about the next date, you pick somewhere you normally go to in your free time, and I’ll do the same for the date after. That way, we don’t have to spend an atrocious amount of money unless we want to.”
Minho stopped short, and for a minute, you wondered if you’d overstepped his boundaries. Then, he turned to look at you, a surprised, almost soft, smile on his face.
“You want to see me that much?”
It would’ve been so easy to dismiss his words as sarcastic teasing, like the rest of your conversations have been for the past year that you’ve known each other. But his tone, his expression, it felt almost genuine, like he was pleasantly surprised that you were willingly offering up your own time to spend it with him.
And at that notion, your cheeks felt unnaturally hot as you averted your eyes, “Well, the experiment is supposed to last a month,” you mumbled, finding a very interesting divot in the ground, “What type of social experiment girlfriend would I be if we only went on one date?”
Unbeknownst to you, Minho’s smile dimmed ever so slightly at the mention of the experiment, but he still felt that weird, fluttery feeling nonetheless. He knew you were probably just too shy to admit anything truthful to his question, and he didn’t fault you for it. It wasn’t like he was being very honest either.
“Well, I rather enjoy our little escapades, so I suppose I can spare a little effort to plan the next date,” Minho said with faux weariness, making you elbow his side playfully. 
“I swear, if you drag me to another horror house like you did when we went out with Jisung--”
Minho let out a laugh at the memory, “Didn’t you punch the zombie that jumped out near the end?”
“Not a word.”
“And I think you screamed at one of the ghosts, too?”
You frowned, reaching up and messing up his perfectly styled hair, “Not a word!”
Minho didn’t take any of your threats to heart, teasing you relentlessly about that incident all the way back to your apartment, but to be totally honest, you didn’t mind it all that much.
~
(name): day 6
action(s): first date (control)
notes: the date wasn’t bad except for the ridiculous pricing. we actually had rather interesting conversations about our interests, outlooks on life, and had a rather heated argument about whether prisoner of azkaban or the order of the phoenix was the best harry potter book. 
minho’s nice. i know you’re probably laughing at me as you read this, future jisung. but he’s nice. the flowers he got were really pretty. he’s a good listener, too, and he doesn’t give false comforts. he tells it to me as it is, whether it’s good or bad. i like that about him. he also looked really good for the date, but that’s rather surface level, right? whatever. i hope this is even minutely useful to your project, jisung, bcs it doesn’t feel like it’ll be much help.
~
lee minho: day 6 
action(s): first date 
notes: han jisung. the meal was $150 and we both ordered the cheapest things on the menu. fucc you. 
the date was alright, though. (name) actually got dressed up for the date, so i felt a little bad. she’s putting more effort into this project than i thought she would, and i don’t know whether its because she genuinely wants to know me better, or if its bcs it’s your project, jisung. (i know she used to like you, it was obvious). whatever. she’s easy to talk to when we’re not at each other’s throats like usual. she makes me feel understood, which is a good feeling i guess. 
this absolutely does not mean anything special. it just means that she’s not as stuck up as i thought she was. the bar is still incredibly low.
i wonder where i should take her for our next date. the horror house is tempting, but she’s probably going to get sued if she shows her face there ever again. oh well, i’ll figure it out.
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iii. 
“Why are we heading towards the direction of the horror house?”
“I promise you, sweetheart, it’s not the horror house,” Minho said for the umpteenth time as the two of you walked down the busy downtown streets together.
You remained suspicious, and as a chill blew towards you, the winter wind seeping into your bones and making your teeth chatter, you brought your hands to your mouth, blowing on them in an attempt to get them warm.
Minho let out a dramatic sigh at the sound of your silence, “Do you have any faith in me at all?” He asked, taking one of your hands and lacing your fingers together before shoving it in his coat pocket without faltering for a moment.
He seemed unfazed, oblivious even as the two of you stopped at a crosswalk, but you...your poor heart did a feeble stutter that certainly wasn’t the product of any social experiment. You knew the feeling well enough from your past experiences, and the fact that it emerged right at this moment made you worry.
“What?” Minho’s voice invaded your thoughts as he followed your line of sight to his coat pocket, where your hand was snugly fitted inside his. 
You tried your best to salvage what was left of your pride, “Aren’t my hands cold?” You asked weakly, “You don’t have to hold them.”
“Yes, your hands are like fucking ice, that’s why I’m trying to warm one of them up, dummy,” Minho rolled his eyes at your lame question before turning to check on the light to make sure it was still on red, “We’re almost there. The place is cozy, I promise.”
Nodding, you slowly felt your composure return to you, “As long as we get out of this cold, I'd consider it a successful date.”
“Oh dear, you've just ruined my plans for a picnic up in the mountains,” Minho said with a deadpan expression just as the light turned green.
“You're ridiculous,” you said, rolling your eyes, but there wasn't any bite behind your words anymore, and Minho’s jabs at you had slowly lost that hard edge to them. Could it be possible that the two of you were really warming up to each other?
It was true that the two of you were getting along better, and in tandem, you began to be more present in each other’s lives. Minho still walked you to school on the days that he didn't have work. In return, it's become a normal routine for you to make two loaves of milk bread every other day since Minho always devoured his portion ridiculous quickly. 
Not in a romantic way, absolutely not. Both of you would cringe at the very idea. But as tolerant friends, maybe. 
“Ah! Here we are,” Minho said pleasantly as he guided you off the busy street into a smaller, quieter alleyway filled with various cafes and antique shops.
“A cafe date?” You smiled, “I didn't know that was your style.”
Minho stopped short at a particular cafe, taking his hand and yours out of his pocket as he reached forward to open the door, “Well, it's not just any cafe.”
You quickly realized exactly what he meant as you walked in, your eyes lighting up with pure elation and joy as you squealed, “It’s a cat cafe!” 
Unbeknownst to you, Minho’s eyes lit up from behind you as he shut the door, keeping the winter cold out of the cozy establishment, “You like cats?” He never knew that about you.
“Like cats? I love them!” You practically gushed as you shrugged off your large coat and Minho signaled for a party of two, greeting a few of the waiters with a suspicious familiarity. 
“Do you come here often?” You asked curiously as the two of you found a nice little corner to sit down in, complete with beanbags, blankets, and little wooden surfaces that were meant to serve as tables.
Minho almost didn't need to answer your question, since the moment he sat down, four cats passed over towards him, the sound of gentle meows filling your ears. You didn't think you'd be able to hear anything more sweet, until you were proven wrong when Minho let out a soft giggle, his expression unbelievably fond as he stretched out his hand, petting their heads and scratching their ears.
When had you ever heard Minho giggle? No, not that psychotic little witch giggle he did when he was feeling diabolical. This childish, almost innocent giggle that burst from his lips. 
“I come here at least twice a week,” he said as one of the kittens clambered into his lap, “I have three cats back at home with my family, and when I miss them, I come here.”
You nodded, surprised that he was divulging information about him without being prompted, but you didn’t mind it one bit, “That’s nice. I’m sure they miss you, too,” you said, smiling as one of the more curious cats went over to you, sniffing at your hand before pressing their head against your palm.
“I’m sure they do. I was basically their servant,” Minho laughed before turning to you, “Do you have pets?”
“Oh, I wish,” your voice was forlorn and wistful as you began to rub the cat’s belly, feeling a rush of pride as they laid on their side. It was rare for any cat to do such a thing, and you treasured the moment dearly, “I had a kitten when I was very, very young, but they died only a few months after we got them. I haven’t been able to muster the courage to adopt another pet since.”
Minho pouted at the way your voice trailed off, your expression faraway, and he suddenly felt an urge to gift you a kitten right then and there just to make you smile. He was long used to seeing you angry, he was getting used to seeing you when you were at peace and smiling, but he’d never actually seen you look so wistfully sad before. 
“Well, you’re always welcome to use my membership card here if you need a break from school,” he offered rather awkwardly, keeping his eyes on the cats so he wouldn’t have to feel the brunt of your expression, which was probably weirded out. 
“You’d let me?” You sounded hopeful, giggling to yourself as a cat jumped into your lap, curling up and burrowing against your stomach.
Minho smiled, turning his head to see the way you were coddling the little kitten, stroking her fur with utmost delicacy and with nothing but pure adoration in your eyes. He was suddenly hit with the realization that you were incredibly beautiful, and his brain almost immediately imploded.
Wait, what? Lee Minho?! Who the fuck are you turning into?!
Unaware of his current struggle, you glanced at him when you didn’t receive an answer, and he scrambled to clear his throat, “O-of course,” he said, “You’d get a 15% discount on drinks. Super handy.” 
If you noticed his strange behavior, you didn't comment or make a face, only gazing down at the kitten in your lap as you asked teasingly,, “Does this girlfriend benefit only last the month?”
It was a joke, not at all different from the ones both of you made on a daily basis, making jabs at your rather intriguing situation, this one seemed to really hit Minho. What was going to happen when the month ends? Will the two of you go back to hating each other and fighting every moment of the day? Will all these little acts of love, the way you would occasionally drop off a bento box at his dance studio and the way he’d pick you up after your late night classes so he could make sure you were safe, would that all disappear like a dream?
“Hello? Earth to Minho?”
Minho blinked out of his daydream, tilting his head towards you to see you already looking at him with a concerned smile, “Are you alright? You seemed pretty faraway.”
“Nah, I’m good. I just remembered that I have a coding assignment due tonight,” he lied, a light tinge of rouge on his cheeks. 
“What?!” you yelped, scaring the cat in your lap as they meowed in discontent, jumping off you, “We should get going then--”
“Hey, hey, calm down,” Minho grabbed your arm as you stood up, and with your balance tilted, you fell back onto the beanbag couch, although this time, you were much closer to Minho than you originally were. To stabilize yourself, your hand jutted out to press against his chest, and his breath hitched in his throat.
What sort of black magic was Han Jisung doing to him with this experiment?
“Sorry!” You squeaked out, your embarrassment clearly visible as you tried to push away from him, but Minho kept you close until the two of you were almost cuddling on the beanbag couch. 
Minho only hummed, feigning nonchalance even as his heart was doing strange backflips in his chest, “It’s fine. You’re still cold, right? I saw you shivering a bit. You can just sit here,” he said, shrugging off his coat and placing it over your legs.
“I guess...thank you,” you said rather quietly, not trusting your voice to hide the emotions that were raging in your heart: the confusion, the giddiness, the childlike excitement, and the fear, “But what about your assignment--”
“Don’t worry,” he patted your head lightly, “It’s just a simple one. Won’t take more than an hour. I’ll just do it when I get home.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure,” Minho emphasized the last word with a teasing smile, his heart slowly coming to terms with these new, tingling emotions that he was feeling, “I never knew I’d ever experience you babying me.”
Your cheeks grew warm as you smacked his arm, “Shut up!” You complained, bringing his coat up to your face and shielding yourself, “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t flunk out of school!”
“Don’t lie, you’ve fallen in love with me, haven’t you?” He asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief only to receive another angry smack on the arm.
“You wish. I don’t fall in love with jerks like you.” 
“If it makes you feel better, I am honored by the attention,” he said with a teasing smile as he nudged your shoulder. 
Another kitten came to your position, rubbing against your thigh as you petted their little head, “You better be,” you muttered almost to yourself, “After all the bentos I’ve made for you this last week.”
Minho let out a yawn, stretching out his arms and very cautiously wrapping one around your shoulders. To his luck or misfortune, you were too enamored by the kitten to notice, and you curled into his side without much consideration. The poor boy wasn’t sure whether he wanted you to notice and confront him about it, or whether he should be allowed to feel a sense of fondness knowing that you were dropping the defensive walls around your heart with him.
He won’t tell you, but he was truly honored to be cared by you, to experience your worry, your encouragement, and your little acts of love. It came so naturally to you that you probably didn’t even hold any of those actions to any significance, but to him, the one who was always the lone wolf, the one who was always defined by his looks before his personality, it was nice to be truly seen by someone. 
Even if it wasn’t going to last. 
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iv.
Lee Minho was late, and you were going to kick his ass if you didn't happen to be frozen by the time he arrived. 
You stood outside of the computer science building awkwardly, trying not to focus on the weird glances from the students walking in and out, all of whom were obviously wondering what a literature freak was doing at the center hub of the sciences. It was absolutely mortifying, and you briefly wondered if Minho ever got such stares while he waited for you outside of your building. If he did, well, you felt slightly more grateful than you did previously.
“Hey! (name), right?” 
You looked up with panic in your eyes as you quickly tracked the sound of the voice to one familiar stranger, a particular boy on campus that you never actually ever thought you'd have the opportunity to speak to.
“That's me, and I assume you're Hyunjin,” you said, getting straight past formalities. After all, you weren't really in the mood for chitter-chatter. You were just in the mood for a nice hot chocolate to warm your body. 
But unfortunately for you, Hyunjin’s disarming smile was a clear indicator that there were no escape routes plausible, “Wow, no wonder Minho snatched you up quick.”
If you had a tail, it would've bristled at this very moment, “Excuse me?” You asked, keeping your tone decidedly cordial.
Hyunjin’s smile only widened, “What is he like as a boyfriend? Does he treat you well? Or are you just another piece of disposable garbage for him like every other girl he’s fucked?” 
The final question shouldn't have fazed you, but it did. Why did the idea of such a thing send your heart into cardiac arrest? Why did it scare you so much, when you knew none of this was real? Wasn't it all just manufactured by the conditions of the experiment?
Your face must've given away more than you thought, because Hyunjin’s cheshire-like grin only widened as he took your vulnerability as a chance, “You don't have to be with him, you know. Don't you think we'd get along a little better—”
“Really fucking low of you to be trying to hit on your friend’s girl,” a hand suddenly snaked around your waist from behind, making you gasp as you felt your back pulled against someone's firm chest.
“Especially my girl,” Minho’s eyes showed not a hint of amusement or politeness as he rested his chin on your shoulder almost protectively, as if daring Hyunjin to try again.
Hyunjin regarded the two of you with cautious intrigue, his eyes darting from Minho’s hand on your waist to his face now nuzzled in the crook of your neck, and he lifted his hands up in mock surrender.
“Just wanted to make sure you know how lucky you are,” he smiled at Minho pleasantly, leaning forwards as his eyes sparkled when they met yours. Now, you may dislike Hyunjin, but you couldn't deny his beauty, and at such a distance, you couldn't help but feel a bit flustered as he purred, “And how easily that luck can be taken away from you.”
Minho bared his lips in a threatening snarl from behind you, making Hyunjin scoff as he turned away from the two of you without another word. A moment of tense silence screamed in the air before you cleared your throat awkwardly. This was definitely not a good way to start off a date.
“Well, that was weird,” you laughed, detangling yourself from Minho’s hold so you could face him, “I never thought I’d see the day where Hwang Hyunjin would flirt with me while he’s sober.”
“He’s such a fucking asshole,” Minho suddenly spit out with a surprising amount of vitriol in his tone, enough to fluster you for a moment, “Going after someone who’s obviously dating, he just doesn’t have any shame anymore! Plus, I was literally walking behind you. He definitely saw me before he made a move.”
Finding his behavior utterly bizarre, you stared at him for a long moment before you could even speak, “Are you...pretending to be jealous?”
“What?” Minho blinked, as if suddenly realizing that you were still there witnessing the extent of his ranting. And then, your question hit him like a ton of bricks, “What the fuck? I’m not pretending to be jealous, I--”
He stopped himself before he could do any more verbal damage to his own reputation, but inside, his head in shambles.
I’m not pretending to be jealous, I am jealous. 
What was happening to him?
From the look on your face, Minho could tell you were a mixture of confused and suspicious, but you didn’t press him for more details or to finish his sentence. That was one thing he really appreciated about you. If he didn’t elaborate on his words, you trusted that he didn't say more because it simply didn't need to be said. 
"Well, we should probably get going," you said, slipping your arm around his, "I was freezing my ass out here waiting for you." 
"Then, perish." 
"You're the worst social experiment boyfriend I've ever had!" You complained, your pout clear from the sound of your voice as Minho let you lead him to whatever date surprise you had in mind. 
“I’m the only social experiment boyfriend you’ve ever had,” he pointed out reasonably, resting his head on yours while you waited for the traffic light to change. 
You let out a huff, trying to push him off you, but it was rather fruitless to make Minho do anything, really, “You’re still the worst,” you said, trying to tickle your way out of the situation.
Minho only chuckled. Two could play at this game, he thought smugly as your attacks failed and he wrapped his arms around you from the side, pulling you snug against him so he could nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck, tickling your skin with his hair and making you shriek.
“Lee Minho, I swear to God!” Despite the slurry of curse words that left your mouth, you were laughing and made no genuine attempts to pull away from him. You’ve noticed over the last few weeks that Minho was never one for blatant physical affection, but he was being abnormally clinging today. 
“Admit it, kitten,” he teased, peeking up at your expression as he smiled, “I’m the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.”
The world around you seemed to freeze as the weight of that question fully sunk in. Was Minho the best boyfriend you’ve ever had? You thought back to every awkward first date, every time the guy looked strangely disappointed when you said you wanted to head home by yourself, every time one of them awkwardly mentioned that they wanted you to cheer them on at the expense of your own passions. You thought through all of those memories before you realized oh my god Minho was the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.
“Hmm? Oh, come on, I was kidding,” Minho seemed oblivious to your plight as he took your silence as a rejection, beginning to let go. 
“You are.”
The words slipped out of your lips before you even realized what you had said. Minho’s eyes widened rather comically as he tried to make sure he was making the right mental connections in his head.
“I am?” He repeated slowly.
“You are...the best boyfriend I’ve ever had,” you muttered the last half, your face burning as if you’d eaten a whole bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. 
Minho blinked, his entire system short-circuiting.
“Oh.” 
“Yeah,” you said, awkwardly shuffling on the heels of your feet before you found your escape, “Oh, green light! Let's get moving!” Your voice was bright and overly cheery as if you didn't just drop a bombshell of a revelation on both Minho and yourself. 
Minho practically stumbled over his own feet to catch up to you, “H-hey!” He grabbed your hand before you could pass the halfway point of the large intersection, where the light was manually turned red by one of the buses.
You glanced down at your intertwined hands and back up at his face before answering softly, “Thanks.”
He nodded in response, trying not to put too much attention to the way your fingers curled around his, trying not to put too much attention to the way your hand fit in his, and asked, “So, where are we going?”
“Well, you brought me to the place you like to go to destress, so I figured I would do the same,” you answered, reaching into your back pocket and pulling out a key that looked suspiciously like Jisung’s access card to the music building.
“Tell me you didn't steal Jisung's access card.”
“It's not stealing if I'm returning it before he knows what happened,” you shrugged.
“Um, yes it is.”
You glanced up at him with a playful smile, “You gonna rat me out, darling?”
That name of endearment shouldn't have affected him so much, but it did, and he physically had to restrain himself from holding your hand tighter as he scoffed, “I'm no snitch, especially not when it comes to my beautiful social experiment girlfriend.” 
You let out a laugh, “You’re definitely the king of heart fluttering pet names.”
The rest of the walk to the music building was filled with idle chatter as the two of you slowly got back into the rhythm of your usual banter. At some moments, it was even easy to forget about the way you’d hug his arm to your chest as if shielding yourself from the cold. It was even easy to forget about the way his hand would gently squeeze yours if he felt you shiver too violently beside him, a silent check up on you. It was far too easy to call all of these little actions as normal, as if he was actually your boyfriend. 
“Are you sure we're not going to get caught?” Minho asked as the two of you walked to the side door of the music building. Although, he didn't sound very concerned about potentially getting in trouble, only slightly curious. 
You slid Jisung’s card into the reader and the door unlocked with a click, “I've done this for years. Even if people do check the rooms, there's lot of places to hide.”
The boy only chuckled, holding the door open so the two of you could walk in and escape from the biting winter cold. After wiping off your shoes using the doormat, you gingerly took his hand again and lead him up the stairs to the end of the hall where you pulled him into a dark room.
“Kitten, if you wanted to find a private little place for us to have some fun, we didn’t need to go all the way to the music room,” Minho said, amused, “I know plenty of lockable closets around the campus—”
“That’s so gross,” you said as you turned on the light, revealing that the two of you were in one of the group music rooms, with a piano sitting at the center of the room and a couple of instruments stored on the sides. 
Minho placed a hand on his heart, “Mean,” he huffed accusingly at you. He was mostly kidding, of course, but a part of him felt a genuine despair at the fact that you didn't seem to be remotely flustered or enticed by the idea of being with him in that way, with such intimacy. 
“Don't worry, Min. There will be plenty of fish out there desperate to jump into your arms soon enough,” you flashed him a wry smile as you grabbed one of the guitar cases and brought it to the carpet near the piano.
“Min?” He repeated, the nickname making him feel slightly better even as your words dampened his spirits. Did you really think he would be that eager to go back to his normal “no-strings-attached” routine after this month? 
For the first time, you looked a little flustered as you sat down on the soft carpet, opening the guitar case with a few clicks of the locks, “Sorry. Do you hate it?” You asked sheepishly, “I just figured that you give me so many petnames, I should try to give you one, too. But if Min isn't good—”
“It is!” The boy interrupted a little too eagerly. Catching your surprised expression, he immediately controlled himself, clearing his throat awkwardly as he sat down across from you, “Yeah, Min is fine. Min is good. It's just...new.”
“No one's ever called you Min before?” You asked with a curious expression while you pulled out the guitar with what Minho noticed was practiced ease.  
He shrugged, “I don't think anyone’s ever given me a nickname before.”
I don't think anyone’s ever reached that level of closeness with me, was the unspoken follow-up to his statement. After all, what type of one-night stand would ever result in names of endearment or genuine emotional attachment?
“Hmm...maybe I should take it up a notch and call you Minmin,” you said absently, testing the tension of the strings and being totally unaware of the spiral you just send Minho down on.
Minmin? Minmin? The poor man was turning into a pile of mush before you and you didn’t even know what you did. Minho was sure that if you ever called him Minmin, he’d throw away everything to do as you asked. 
“If you want,” he said, shuffling awkwardly as he sat across. 
You glanced up at him, giggling as you finished tuning up the instrument, “So this is my de-stress room,” you said, “I like occasionally coming here to write songs or just play the instruments here.”
“You play instruments other than guitar?” Minho asked, sounding rather impressed.
“I used to play piano as a kid, actually,” you explained with a smile as you checked the A string, “Jisung taught me how to play guitar in our first year here.”
Minho bit his lip, struggling to keep control over his expressions, “Right.”
Never before in his life did Minho ever think that he’d be sitting across from you and feeling jealous about Han Jisung’s relationship with you. It wasn’t secret knowledge; he knew you used to like his friend, and you used to like him very much. It wasn’t like Minho minded; you were the one of the decent ones and you genuinely liked Jisung for who he was. Something must’ve happened in the middle of the second year, because you gradually seemed to pull away from Jisung at least in a romantic manner. Minho never thought much of it. But now, he was beginning to fully realize how close you and Jisung actually were, and how much that was beginning to bother him.
Did you still like Jisung? That was the question that always haunted his mind. Were you doing all of this for the boy in your past when Minho was here falling harder every single day? 
“Hey, Min?” 
Your voice broke into his thoughts as his ears perked up, “Yeah?” He answered with an uncharacteristically gentle voice. There was something about the way you spoke that felt hesitant and uncertain, rather unlike you, and he wanted to make sure that you felt comfortable being here with him.
“D-do—“ you swallowed nervously, “do you want to hear one of my songs?”
Minho’s eyes widened. As a friend of Jisung and the other two famous producers on campus, he was no stranger to hearing music that they produced. But because of that, he knew how much these songs meant to the people who wrote them. How personal they can be, and how terrifying it could be to share them with others. And the fact that you were willing to bare that part of your soul to him was a gesture of trust that he’d never expected.
“Do you want me to listen?” He asked with caution, “You really don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable.”
“I do!” You blurted out before your cheeks grew warm, “You shared a big part of yourself with me when you took me to that cat cafe, so I wanted to do the same.”
Minho felt a little speechless, so all he could do was nod and give you an encouraging smile. Taking his gesture as acceptance, you cleared your throat softly and began to strumming out a simple chord progression. 
The poor man was immediately entranced. There wasn’t any hope for him anymore. The moment you opened your mouth to sing, Minho fell into silent awe as he let your soft, soothing voice flow through his body. There was something so present about your voice, about the lyrics you sang. Everything just felt so raw that all he could really do was watch and listen with a gentle smile on his face.
When you finished, you opened your eyes and hesitantly turned to face him, “Well?” You prodded, a hint of nervousness slipping out of your lips. 
It took Minho a few moments to put his thoughts together, and even then, they weren’t totally coherent. Nothing like the smooth-tongued, cheeky persona he always embodied, “That was--wow,” he stumbled over his words.
To his luck, you didn’t seem bothered by his failure to string his words together, but only smiled encouragingly, “A good wow, I hope?” You asked. 
“Definitely a good wow. The best wow,” he nodded fervently as you laughed, waiting for him to continue, “Did you ever take classes like Jisung and Chan?”
“Oh, no. I definitely don’t have the extra money for that,” you said, resting your arms on your guitar, “But I’ve always loved to sing, and I’ve always loved hearing other people sing, too. My first childhood crush was this really cute busker who sang Hey There Delilah once near my city’s shopping street.” 
Minho’s lips quirked up in a smirk. This was much more comfortable territory for him, especially when it means teasing you, which is honestly all he ever did, “A childhood crush, huh?” He drawled, stretching out his legs, “So you have a thing for people with good voices?”
“Absolutely,” you nodded, “If anyone has a good singing voice, I’m at least 40% more inclined to fall in love with them.”
“Wow,” he let out a laugh, “That is an incredibly significant statistic. I’m almost worried about how shallow you are.”
You let out a noise of indignation as Minho only laughed harder, fending away your useless attacks, “I am not shallow!” You snapped, your cheeks feeling warm, “Having a good singing voice is just an added bonus!”
“Sure, sure,” he teased, even going so far as to pinch your cheek playfully, “Is that why you fell in love with Jisungie?”
“I’m not in love with Jisung--”
“Yeah, yeah, I know you aren’t now,” Minho waved his hand dismissively, even though deep in his heart, he didn’t actually know and that was why he approached the topic in the first place, “But you were in love with him back then, right?”
The withering glare you gave him was weak at best, and you sighed, hugging your guitar to your chest as if it was your own personal shield, “Yes, I was. But that was years ago and we agreed to be just friends. It was awkward in the beginning, but I’m content with the relationship we have now.” 
“You are?” Minho asked, trying to sound casual as he picked a piece of lint off his pants.
You nodded surely enough for him to see that you were being genuine, “I am. Jisung is just a friend, nothing more.”
Why Minho seemed so interested in the topic that he’d ask not one, but two follow-up questions about Jisung, you didn’t know. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was jealousy or a way of making sure that you were emotionally available, but you did know better, and you knew that Lee Minho wasn’t that type of person.
Trying to bridge what was becoming an awkward silence, you cleared your throat and asked, “Do you have a favorite karaoke song? We could do a jam session here if you’re comfortable with singing.”
“You want me to sing after hearing how good you sound?” Minho scoffed in disbelief.
You visibly pouted, and Minho’s defenses immediately weakened, “Aww, I promise I won’t judge! And besides, Jisung said that you sounded good the last time you two went to the karaoke bar. It’s just the two of us, Min,” you smiled encouragingly, “We’re just here to have fun!”
Fuck everything. Fuck you and your gentle words, your soft smiles, your teasing eyes. Everything about you just made Minho want to lower all his walls and embrace all that you want to do. Letting out a sigh, he relented, “Fine. Do you know Congratulations by Day6?”
“Uh, I think the question is who doesn’t know Congratulations by Day6.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Minho scowled as you laughed, shifting the capo slightly higher on the neck of the guitar to the right tuning. Giving you time to get ready, Minho pulled up the lyrics on his phone to make sure he didn’t mess up unnecessarily in front of you. It shouldn’t matter, of course, but there was a weird fluttering in his stomach that made him almost believe that he was nervous. 
When the two of you were finished fiddling around, you glanced up at him, smiling, “Ready? I’ll give a four count,” Minho nodded, and after you rapped your knuckles against the body of the guitar four times, he opened his mouth and began to sing. 
His voice and your playing blended together almost magically, and it felt like the rest of the world disappeared as he continued to sing, disregarding his phone since he seemed to know the lyrics by heart. All you had to do was follow along with your gentle strumming, listening and keeping up to the natural inflections of his voice. The room felt cozier, the sterile fluorescent lights felt warmer, and you were getting lost in the ethereal picture of Minho when--
“Why are the lights on in the hallway?” 
The two of you immediately stopped as you glanced at each other, eyes comically wide. It seemed like, much to your luck, the security guard happened to choose that very day to make his rounds, despite skipping every other day during the week. 
“Put the guitar away! I’ll turn off the lights!” Minho hissed at you as he bolted to the wall of the room and you went to place the guitar back in its case as quickly and carefully as possible. Luckily, the music room didn't have any windows on the door, and the guard couldn’t see what was happening inside unless he actually entered the room. 
The two of you just managed to put the guitar back in its original state and turn off the lights just as his footsteps neared the door. In a split second, Minho grabbed your arms and yanked you into one of the bass storage compartments, closing the closet door right before the guard opened the door to the music room, looking around curiously. 
Neither of you could even breathe in the crammed space of the closet as you tentatively waited for the guard to check the room. The storage compartment left almost no wiggle room, and Minho’s arm stayed wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you snug against his chest so the two of you could fit.
Oh god, this was too much for you. The thumping of his heart against yours, the tickling of his hair against your ear as he had to dip down to avoid thumping his head against the top, the grip he had on your waist as his thumb rubbed your side, an instinctive attempt to calm your nerves. 
The silence screamed in the room, and the two of you held your breaths before the footsteps exited the room, and the door clicked closed. Even still, both of you stayed totally quiet for a few moments longer before Minho let out a soft chuckle.
“This is definitely a closet I haven't explored.”
You swatted at his arm, “Now is not the time to make dirty jokes!” You scolded, but Minho accepted your angry hands, happily holding you snug against his chest as he laughed. 
“If not now, then when?”
“How about never?” You rolled your eyes as you lifted your head to glare up at him, but your intentions seemed to die out the moment you realized just how close the two of you were. Minho’s face was not inches, but centimeters away from yours, your noses almost brushing and your foreheads so close that you could practically count his eyelashes. 
Minho gulped, staring down at you in panic and awe as he struggled to maintain his composure. There was so much he could do, so much he’s done before; this position shouldn’t be all that shocking for him. As he’d said before, he has had his fair share of sloppy closet makeouts and even a little more than that. Cramming into a storage closet with his arms around you shouldn’t be enough to send his mind and heart into overdrive.
But they were, because he’s never met anyone that set his heart alight like you did. His eyes trailed obviously to your lips, the way that yours eyes did to his, but he couldn’t find it in himself to make the first move. There was something holding him back, an irrational fear that prevented him from moving too quickly, a fear that he might scare you away.
“What are you thinking about?” You asked softly, your hands finding their home on his chest as neither of you made moves to pull away.
“About how this date took a rather strange turn,” he answered instead, his eyes glittering with amusement.
To his surprise, you look flustered and a bit ashamed at his words, “Ah, I am sorry,” you apologized, “I didn’t think it was going to turn out like this. They never check the rooms, and I just wanted to show you a place where I--”
A gasp fell out of your lips as Minho pulled you forward until your body collided with his chest. He engulfed you in a tight hug, his face buried in your hair as he mumbled with what you could discern was a hint of trepidation and shyness, “Don’t be sorry. Thank you for showing me this side of you.”
Your hands stilled behind him, your eyes widening as you felt him hold you tighter. You could feel the beat of his heart, the trembling in his breath, and the remainder of the walls around your heart all but collapsed as you snaked your arms around his midriff, snuggling your face into his shoulder and marveling at how perfectly you fit against him.
“Thank you for giving me the chance,” you murmured, your voice muffled by his familiar leather jacket as you smiled, “You know…”
“Hmm?” Minho answered absently, holding you close.
“I like this better than fighting.”
Minho couldn’t help but giggle at the sheer simplicity of your statement, and he couldn’t help but feel inclined to agree with you.
“Yeah, me too.”
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“Fuck!” 
Minho let out a trail of belligerent curses as he ran to the nearest bus station, holding his leather jacket over both of your heads to shield the two of you from the sudden and pouring rain. As the two of you were walking in the middle of the flower garden right before the weather took a sharp turn for the worse, both of you were soaked to the bone by the time you found shelter.
As you clutched at your chest, gasping for breath, you huffed grumpily at the boy beside you, who looked way too dashing for someone who was doused like a wet dog, “Weren't you supposed to check the weather?”
“Well, if we went to the arcade like I'd suggested instead of the park, we wouldn't be in this predicament, would we?” Minho retorted, running a hand through his damp locks. 
“It’s a Friday night. The arcade would’ve been packed to the brim and you still would’ve been all pissy.”
“It’s better than being soaked to the bone and freezing our asses off at some random bus station.”
The two of you maintained your angry tense glares for only a moment longer before you caved, rolling your eyes as a smile crept on your face, “It seems like nothing has changed, even on our last date.”
“We're destined enemies. The universe has decreed it long ago, sweetheart,” Minho chuckled. 
The most humorous thing about both of those statements were how utterly false they were, and how aware both of you were about that fact. Anything and everything that existed between the two of you had changed during the course of the month, and both of you knew it. Minho had changed from a necessary annoyance to an irreplaceable pillar in your life, a source of honesty and comfort that you've grown to relish. Even though the two of you still bickered like cats and dogs, there was something good-natured about it now.
“Well, our garden date is fucked and we can't exactly go to the arcade like this, so what do you suppose we do?” You asked with a grimace as you wrung the excess water out of your hair, “This is the last day before our project ends.” 
Minho sighed, shaking the droplets of water off his jacket as he bit his lip, turning his gaze to your side profile. You were happily oblivious to his stare, continuing to twist the water out of your hair as you stared out at the rainy street, humming softly to yourself. He could tell immediately that you were cold and doing your best to keep yourself from shivering. 
It was definitely a pet peeve of his that he’d grown more and more annoyed over as he spent the month by your side. You never liked to wear jackets or bring them along, despite the fact that you were literally cold-blooded and tended to match the temperature of whatever weather was going on around you. It got so bad at times that Minho had already developed a habit of bringing you an extra jacket or scarf so you at least didn’t catch a fucking cold while you were spending on dates with him. 
Unfortunately, the forecast had predicted clear skies and warm weather for the whole day, and Minho didn’t think about bringing that extra jacket around this time, so all you could do was perish in your cold, soaked clothes. 
“You could come over and hang out at my place.”
The words tumbled out of Minho's mouth before he could really consider the consequences, and all he could do after that was look as nonchalant as possible. 
As expected, you gawked at him as if he'd grown a second head, “You want me to hang out at your apartment?”
“Don't make me repeat myself,” he grumbled, feeling the tips of his ears grow hot, “We could dry up there and maybe watch some Netflix or something." 
You let out a scandalized gasp, dramatically covering your chest with your arms, and Minho's face burned as he gave you a hard shove, "Not like that, oh my god!" He sputtered in total embarrassment, fully beginning to process the implications of his words. 
As the poor man dissolved in his own misery, you cackled, relishing his suffering as you ran a hand through your wet locks, "I'm kidding, genius!" You said with a laugh, "Gosh, who knew you were actually such a prude on the inside." 
If you took Minho seriously at all, his glare would have sent you six feet under. Unfortunately for him, one month of fake dating taught you that the man was a lot more bark than bite. You were basically Minho-immune at this point.
“You know what?” He closed his eyes, grabbing at whatever supernatural patience he had not to just shut you up with his lips smashing against yours, “Offers’ off. Walk home yourself.”
“Aw, alright I’m sorry!” You laughed, ruffling his messed up hair as you walked out of the bus stop and into the pouring rain, “Come on, please? I promise I won’t make fun of you anymore.”
You promising not to make fun of him sounded about as genuine as Jisung saying that he’d stop procrastinating on his homework, but what was Minho going to do? Make you walk home by yourself in this type of weather? It wasn’t that he was giving you any special treatment; this was just what any good samaritan would do.
With a roll of his eyes, he stomped over to you and flung his leather jacket over your head, “Let’s go,” he muttered. Smiling playfully, you followed him home, using his jacket to shield you from the rain as you stared at his back with a hint of bittersweetness.
The jacket still smelled like him, you thought absently as you walked in his shadow. As much as you’d tried to deny it to yourself, Minho smelled good. He smelled like Febreeze and citrus. You were going to miss the warmth of his jacket very soon, when he’d no longer be obligated to take care of you or make sure that you won’t catch a cold.
“Did you die back there, sweetheart?” Minho called behind him, “You’ve gone all quiet.”
“If I died, how exactly was I supposed to answer you?” 
“Oh, my bad. I was really only asking out of courtesy,” he smirked, throwing his head back as his eyes sparkled with a mischief you’ve grown out of hating. Seeing the few feet of distance between the two of you, he extended his hand, chuckling, “Seriously, what are you doing all the way back there? Come on.”
You felt yourself grow quiet, taking a few large strides forward before you let go of the jacket and slipped your hand into his. Minho’s fingers laced with yours as he continued on his way, leading you down a couple streets before you made it to the familiar apartment complex.
Now, you’ve been to Minho’s place a couple times, so you didn’t feel too overwhelmed as the two of you rushed into the lobby area sopping wet and trying your best to dry off your shoes on the mat. However, it was always just a quick stop, like standing in the lobby area while he went up to grab something, or meeting with him downstairs before going on a date. You’d never actually been into his apartment before, and as the two of you stood in the elevator in a deafening silence, you couldn’t stop your heart from racing a little faster than normal.
“Alright, now I’m worried,” he said as the numbers on the elevator screen went up slowly, “You’re being abnormally quiet. What’s up?”
You blinked in momentary surprise, not expecting him to pry, since he wasn’t ever the type, “Oh. I’m just wondering what your place looks like,” you said, smiling.
Minho didn’t buy it for one second, but he only gave you a strange glance as the elevator doors opened, “I see. Well, it’s nothing special. It’s just like any other dumpy frumpy apartment.”
“I didn’t mean like whether it looks expensive or not,” you said with a soft laugh as the two of you walked down the hallway towards the door to the left, “I’m just wondering whether it would be clean or messy, if you like to keep it warm or cold. Those sorts of things.”
“Oh,” Minho rubbed the back of his neck, and for the first time, he felt a little nervous about twisting his key and opening the door. What if you had higher expectations about it than he could actually meet? Wait, did he pick up those boxers off the floor before he left that morning? He did, right?
“What are you waiting for?” You asked in amusement, watching as Minho seemed to have gone very still after he pushed his key into the keyhole. When he didn’t budge, you moved forward to turn it yourself, only for him to angle his body in front of the door.
“Uh, maybe this isn’t the best idea,” he said with a pleasant, saccharine smile.
You blinked, “Minho, we’re literally at your door,” you said just as a loud boom of thunder sounded in the distance, “And it’s thundering. Your room can’t be that horrid, right?”
“It might be a bit messy,” he argued.
“We’ve both spent game nights in Jisung’s hell hole. I think I can handle however messy your apartment is.”
That was a fair point. Minho couldn’t really find an argument against that attack. Lowering his head, he sighed, “Let me head in to tidy some things first.”
With a raised eyebrow, you crossed your arms, “No problem, but I seriously don’t care, if that’s what your worried about.”
Minho could only nod suddenly before he turned the key, unlocked the door and slipped in faster than a ghost before slamming the door shut. Just like he’d predicted, his boxers were lying nonchalantly on his bedroom floor, and he shoved them in his hamper before cleaning--more like hiding--the rest of his junk in record time.
You were beginning to think that Minho had just locked you out of his apartment when the door opened once more, and he walked out with a towel in hand, “Did you hide whatever dirty toy you needed to hide?” You asked with a smirk.
“Get your head out of the gutter,” he retorted, throwing the towel at you and leading you inside.
The apartment wasn’t far from your expectations. Clean, but not meticulously so, a little bit on the chilly side, and a sense of homeliness with the warm lights and lamps that he chose from the living area. You found yourself growing fonder and fonder of it by the minute.
“It’s cute,” you smiled, wrapping the towel around your neck. 
Minho tried to ignore the way his cheeks warmed at the simple, but genuine compliment that fell out of your lips, “Thanks. I laid out a change of clothes for you in the bathroom. You can also take a shower if you feel like you need to warm up.” 
“What a gentleman,” you said teasingly as you placed your handbag down on the floor as you headed to where Minho had gestured to the bathroom, “Do you have people over often?” It was an easy question, not even close to brushing the real question that sat in the back of your mind. 
Is what we have special? Do I mean something different to you the way you mean something different to me?
“Actually, besides Jisung, you’re probably the first,” Minho answered, grabbing a towel to dry off his own hair as he walked towards you, “I don’t really like strangers or acquaintances in my space.”
“Oh, I should be honored, then,” you said, trying to contain your surprise as turned to face him, studying the way his damp hair framed his face and the way his eyes seemed to burn with an intensity that you could never read.  You could never tell what that gaze wanted, what that gaze meant, but you knew what it did to you and your foolish little heart.
Minho’s head tilted ever so slightly as the silence hung in the air. Then, he smiled, brushing the tip of his finger under your chin, “Well, being my social experiment girlfriend has to have its perks.”
The trance shattered, and whatever moment of tension and unexplainable attraction you felt disappeared into the air as you marched towards the bathroom, “I’m glad I got to make use of it before my membership expires tomorrow,” you said, your voice tinged with sarcasm as you shut the door.
A laugh left Minho’s lips as he shook his head, walking into his bedroom and quickly getting into a change of clothes before flopping onto his couch. This experiment has proved to be one of the most difficult experiences in his life. All this time, he always knew what he wanted, and he always knew how to get it. If he wanted someone, he got them. If he wanted to pursue something, he found himself being able to achieve it with just a bit of hard work on his part. 
But with you, he didn’t know what he wanted, nor did he know how to obtain it. When he met you as Jisung’s other best friend, he never once imagined that the two of you would form such a strange yet irreplaceable relationship in such a short amount of time. He liked you, he liked you a lot. But as he found himself falling further and further, he realized that the reason this was so difficult was because he cared about you. His way of living with no strings attached wasn’t going to cut it anymore, especially since he was beginning to notice that many of his strings were tightly wrapped around your fingers. 
And despite this, the two of you were going to have to cut them all off when the morning came.
“Fuck you, Jisung. You probably knew this was going to happen, you little shit,” Minho sighed, lying down on the couch and closing his eyes. Whatever, he didn’t want to think about the goodbye. He’d deal with it when it came.
“Uh, Minmin?” 
“Hmm?” Minho answered you absently, his eyes still closed.
“You can shower if you’d like,” you offered, the couch dipping under your weight as you sat beside him.
“Nah, I’ll just shower tomorrow morning,” Minho said, opening his eyes and physically having to fight back a blush as he saw you, his hoodie practically engulfing you whole and his sweats going past your feet. Oh fuck, did he even think things through when he picked out a spare set of clothes for you? 
You caught his stunned gaze, your cheeks immediately reddening, “L-look, they’re just a little big on me!” You said defensively as you grabbed one of the pillows and shoved it in his face, “Can’t you stop staring?”
Minho laughed, fending off your relentless pillow attacks with his arms, “Sweetheart, I swear! You actually look really cute!” 
“Shut up!” You shrieked, swinging your arms relentlessly as Minho finally had enough letting you win. Lashing out with his hands, he grabbed both of your wrists, stopping their movement and forcing you to drop the pillow as he yanked you forward. With all your momentum going in one direction, your body had no choice but to follow, and when you opened your eyes, you were sprawled on top of him on the couch, his hands still locking your wrists in place.
“Um,” you looked around, further procession the rather awkward position the two of you had taken, “did you mean for this to happen?”
Minho didn’t, but he was nothing if not an opportunist, “You can think whatever you wanna think,” he shrugged, letting go of your wrists as he wrapped a casual arm around your waist, “What? Not comfortable?”
The more you thought about it, the more you realized that the position was actually quite comfortable. Minho was always built like a personal heater and whatever chill you felt from running around in the rain just seemed to melt away as he held you. 
Stop it, the little voice in your mind whispered as you tried not to focus on the fact that your face was inches from his. This date was for you to say your goodbyes, not fall farther into the black hole.
“Comfortable? Hardly,” you scoffed as best you could, pushing yourself up with your hands and curling up on the couch beside his stretched out figure, “You’re all muscle from dancing so much. It’s like sleeping on a rock.”
“Ah, these abs are hard as rock,” Minho nodded very seriously.
“I wasn’t talking about your abs.”
“Then what else can be hard?” He blinked for a moment before his smile turned unbelievably devilish, “My, my, (name)...I didn’t know you were so--”
You grabbed the pillow you’d previously discarded and shoved it into his chest, “Can we watch something?” You interrupted him pleasantly, pretending not to have even heard the beginning of his less than appropriate joke.
Minho huffed, throwing the stupid pillow to the floor as he scooted next to you, “Sure, want popcorn?” He asked, handing you the remote after turning on his TV, “Just find something on Netflix.”
“Anything you don’t like to watch?” You asked, browsing through the selections.
“Nothing horror related,” he answered as he pushed himself off the couch, heading to the kitchen.
His reply felt strange to you, and you frowned, turning around to look at him, “But don’t you love horror movies?” You asked, remembering very clearly that Minho and Jisung had first met because they both went to the same viewing of a new horror movie that you refused to go to. 
“Yeah, but you don’t, right?” Minho pointed out before shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly and disappearing into the kitchen area as you were left reeling at his almost blasé answer, struck by how much he’d grown to learn about you and how much he'd grown to take your feelings into account. 
Now that you thought about it, you realized how much Minho's personality had changed and affected the way you did things, not in a controlling way, but in a way that you found yourself thinking about him when making decisions. When you made your weekly batch of bread, you tended to lean towards milk bread because it was Minho’s favorite. When you went out for dinner together, you thought about what he enjoyed before picking a cuisine. When you browsed for cute accessories, your taste gravitated to cats because they reminded you of him.
Holy fuck, how deep in were you?
“You didn't pick anything yet,” Minho noticed as he poked his head out from the kitchen, waiting for the popcorn to finish. 
“O-oh right,” you fumbled with the remote in your hands as you scrolled through the selections. 
Minho hummed, his eyes narrowing in suspicion, “Hmm…? What were you thinking about, kitten?”
“Nothing, stop being nosy,” you answered with an annoyed edge as you found something that piqued your interest, “Hey, wanna watch Bridgerton? I heard some good things about it from my friends.” 
"I heard it's a bit of a shitshow," Minho commented as the microwave beeped and the smell of buttered popcorn filled the room. Grabbing the bowl and taking a few pieces for himself, he returned to the living room, jumping over the couch and plopping down beside you. 
You tried to ignore how casual it felt for him to just throw an arm around your shoulders to pull you close, focusing on the TV, “Wanna check it out to see which review is accurate?” 
“Sure, whatever you want, kitten.” 
As the two of you powered through episode after episode, it became clear that both reviews had some merit, as the series was a bit of a shitshow, but one that you wouldn't be able to stop watching. Minho and you found yourselves rather invested in the story and the characters, letting out a huge “finally” when the two leads confessed their genuine love for one another. 
“Another episode?” You asked after a short bathroom break, falling into his arms even more so than before and practically snuggling into his warm chest now. 
“Go for it, sweetheart. I have all night.”
“So do I,” you chuckled, and pressed the play button. 
However, things started to take a weird turn after you reached the middle mark of the series. Bouts of contained love had been released, and there were beginning to be many scenes that weren't quite appropriate for general audiences. You quickly realized that this was probably not the show you should've picked to watch through straight-faced with your lovely social experiment boyfriend. 
You held your tongue for most of them, just wanting and wishing for them to be over as soon as possible, but when positions started to turn towards an even more peculiar direction, you couldn't help but make one rather underhanded comment. 
“Ugh, forget the literal fanfic fake dating trope they had going on. This is probably the most unrealistic part of the whole show,” you said with mild disgust as you watched the female lead gripping on the rails of the staircase. 
“Oh?” Minho perked up at your comment almost too eagerly. Like you, he had also been suffering from the tragic case of watching a dirty scene with his totally-fake-but-also-somehow-real girlfriend, and felt a crash of relief when you spoke up about something, “And why is that, kitten?”
A noise of disbelief choked out of your throat as you gestured at the scene before your eyes, “I mean, look at them! Can you possibly expect me to believe that she feels comfortable in that position, much less enjoy it?”
Minho shrugged, “You’d be surprised how much you can ignore when you’re in the moment.”
“I don’t believe it,” you scoffed, grabbing a handful of popcorn, “At least, I’ve never had such an experience before.”
The conversation was dropped then and there, and the show continued without further criticism. But halfway through the next episode, you began to feel that you were being watched, and sure enough, Minho was gazing at you with an unreadable expression, deep in thought.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, chuckling awkwardly, “Do I have something on my...Min?”
Your eyes widened comically as Minho suddenly shifted on the couch, leaning impossibly closer to you and gently cupping your jaw with his hand. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck fuck fuck. Had he lost his mind?! 
Minho seemed to answer your silent question as he stopped right before his lips could brush yours, and his eyes searched for any fear or hesitation in your expression, “Is it true?” He asked hoarsely, his words no louder than a faint whisper.
“What true?” You murmured back, looking up at him through your lashes.
The man gulped, trying to hold onto whatever semblance of control he had left in his body, “What you said earlier...about never having such an experience before.”
Oh, your cheeks reddened as bright as apples, “Why do you have to bring it up again, idiot?!” You felt your voice fail you as Minho tightened his hold on you.
“So it’s true?”
You squeezed your eyes shut, “Yes, it’s true! What does it have to do with you, asshole?”
Minho sucked in a breath, studying your face as his eyes shone with gentle adoration and tenderness that you didn’t even know he could possess, “Can I kiss you, (name)?”
Your name. It was your name. Not sweetheart. Not kitten. Not any other petname he could give anyone that he pleased. He uttered your name. He was asking for your permission. And like a sailor drawn in by the siren’s song, you had no hope of escaping now. 
“Yes.”
Closing the gap, your lips met as the two of you finally succumbed to the growing tension that festered with every meeting, every touch of your hands, every quip thrown both ways. Minho caressed your cheek as your hands slid to his shoulders, reveling in the kiss that was such a long time coming. 
When he finally pulled away to let both of you catch your breaths, his cheeks were flushed, his eyes blown wide as he stared at you underneath him. Swallowing, he brushed the hair away from your face, his heart warming with unrestrained affection as you leaned into his touch instead of pulling away, “Can I give you that experience you’ve been lacking?” He asked, a coil of anxiety rolling in his stomach as he studied your face for every miniscule reaction.
Any inkling that you didn’t want to, any inkling that you were only going to along to please him, he’d end it all. Minho knew very well that he was walking on a tightrope of maybe losing you forever. 
But to his surprise, you didn’t look fearful or uncomfortable, only a bit uncertain, “T-this is our last night though, a-as…” you trailed off, not wanting to make those thoughts a reality, just like Minho had been actively avoiding the topic as well.
“I know, I know,” he sighed, stroking your cheek absently with his thumb, “Maybe...we can think of this as a goodbye.”
You smiled, “It’s one hell of a goodbye,” you teased, making him chuckle. It was definitely one hell of a goodbye.
“Do you want it?” Minho whispered, hovering over you, “You say the word, and I’ll back off. Promise.”
Sucking in a breath, you decided not to live by your head anymore. With Lee Minho holding you close, kissing you silly, what was there to refuse?
“I want it,” you murmured, “I want you.”
This was the right choice, you told yourself as Minho carried you to his bedroom, treating you with a delicacy and gentleness that you’ve never experienced before. It was the culmination of your feelings for him. Maybe, when the morning comes, these feelings would wash away with your bouts of pleasure. Maybe, when the morning comes, you wouldn’t be as deeply in love with him as you were now.
Right?
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epilogue.
When you woke in the morning, the rays of sunlight spilling in through Minho’s dark curtains, you were almost stunned by how very wrong you were. As you turned your head, finding yourself face to face with Minho, fast asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, you knew that you were not only still in love with Minho, but you were more in love with him than you were the night before. 
And boy, did that terrify you to your very core.
Fuck! This wasn’t supposed to happen. The experiment was over, right? There wasn’t a purpose that pulled you two together anymore. There wasn’t a purpose for Minho to feel any sort of attraction to you anymore. 
Too terrified to face the love of your life when he woke, you did the only thing you knew how to do.
And you ran. 
Detangling yourself from Minho as gently as possible, you slipped out of his bed, grabbing your clothes from where they’d been haphazardly discarded around the room. You changed in record time, anxious to avoid making sound or staying around until Minho woke. It was only 8:30 in the morning, though, and you knew that Minho naturally didn’t like to wake before 9:00, so you had a bit of time.
You wanted to leave as soon as you finished changing, but your guilty conscience wouldn’t let you disappear without some form of gratitude. For the night before or for the way he’d treated you the whole month, you didn’t know. But either way, you grabbed a couple of ingredients that he had in his refrigerator and fixed him a hearty breakfast before heading to the door. You only looked back once before officially steeling yourself to disappear from Lee Minho’s life, at least until you’d be able to resolve these naive and yet deep-seated feelings you had for him.
For the rest of the week, life went on as normal for you, as if your one unforgettable month with Minho had all but faded into the wind as you had hoped that night. You finished your final entry in the diary and handed it back to Jisung the day after the experiment ended. If he had questions as to why you’d disregarded the original plan to hand yours over along with Minho’s at the same time, he didn’t bring them up. 
“Did you at least have fun, (name)?” Jisung asked before you could turn around to leave. 
You hesitated, quickly realizing that the fact that you couldn’t answer the question immediately gave away your uncertainty. After a long moment of thought, you nodded.
“Yeah, I did.”
You really did, though. There was no point lying to yourself about that when you were already having such a hard time pretending that your very real feelings for Minho don’t exist. 
Speaking of Minho, you spent much of the week trying to cut him out of your life as much as possible, which was proven to be rather difficult since the two of you had such a close friend in common. You could tell that Jisung was getting a little sick of seesawing between his two best friends without knowing why the two of you were acting this way. Even back when the two of you were basically the worst of enemies, neither of you ever actively tried to avoid seeing the other.
But now, you were avoiding Minho like the plague. You avoided his school building entirely, and if you happened to see him walking down the street by some unlucky miracle, you’d bolt in a random direction and hide in a store until you were sure he was gone. 
It was a lot of effort, and you weren’t even sure if it was working, since your feelings for him seemed to grow even stronger the more you were away from him.
There was just worry that festered within your heart, this genuine concern you had over his wellbeing now that you weren’t able to check on him every day. Was he eating well? Was he skipping breakfast now that you stopped giving him your milk bread? Did he pass that exam he was worried about?
It seemed your feelings for Minho were going to need a little more than distance to disappear. 
After two weeks of moping and frustratingly obvious heart sickness on both sides, Han Jisung finally had enough with his idiotic best friends. 
You opened your door in surprise as Jisung stood at the entrance of your apartment, an unusually angry expression on his face, “U-uh, Sungie? You good?”
“Do I look good?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “How the fuck do you expect me to be good when I’ve been fucking tiptoeing between you and Minho for the past two weeks?!”
You flinched at the very mention of his name, “I’m sorry. I promise everything will go back to normal soon.”
“With the way you’re doing things, I don’t think that’s going to happen, (name),” Jisung rubbed his eyes tiredly, and you finally noticed the deep eyebags he had, indicating several all nighters, “I finished writing my thesis paper.”
“Oh, congrats.”
It was easier to muster up a smile at that statement, since you were genuinely proud of Jisung for such a daring project. 
“I also read both of your notebooks.”
Fuck. That was a necessary part of writing that paper. 
You nodded, trying to keep your cool, “Okay? Did they not have enough information?”
“Forget the stupid project for one fucking moment, please,” Jisung interrupted before sighing, “At first, I thought the awkwardness came from the fact that you still hate each other, but it turns out it’s just the opposite.”
“What are you talking about?”
Jisung threw you a long look, as if silently weighing several options in his head. You could practically see his thoughts running a mile a minute, and all you could do was stand there as he finally reached into his bag and pulled out a familiar notebook.
“This--” Your eyes widened as you gazed down at the name written in Sharpie, a name that decidedly wasn’t yours, “Jisung, you can’t--”
“Yes, I know that as the operator of this experiment, giving out information that I’d originally stated was confidential is absolutely against everything that science stands for,” he said wearily, “But as your friend and Minho’s friend, this is the right thing to do.”
“What am I supposed to do with it?”
“Read it, dummy. I could tell you what’s inside, but I don’t think you’d believe me unless you saw it yourself.”
Jisung grabbed your wrist and pressed the little notebook into the palm of your hand, “I think you’ll know what to do after,” he smiled gently, his eyes filled with earnest care as he gave you a quick hug and made his way down the hall, leaving you to stand at your door holding Minho’s grey project notebook. 
With nothing else to do, you entered your apartment again and plopped down on the couch, notebook in hand. Did you even want to see it, Minho’s unadulterated truth? A part of you wasn't, but curiosity always killed the cat, and you found yourself gingerly opening the first page. 
Nothing was far from what you expected at first, since it matched quite well to your own experiences. First blatant dislike, then grudging respect, and finally, a growing fondness. You found yourself smiling as you read about how much Minho actually adored the bentos you made, even though he never made his thoughts on it entirely clear to you. 
Then, you finally made it to the last page: Day 31. You found yourself stopping short, your heart beginning to race again as your eyes scanned the first few words. 
~
lee minho: day 31 + 2 days 
action(s): last date 
notes: yeah, i know this entry is late, but i just needed some time to collect myself. 
she left in the morning before i could wake up. i can’t say i was surprised, since i told her the night could be our goodbye, but i’d hoped in some part of me that she’d stay, that we’d just carry on with the rest of the month like the ending date didn’t exist. she made me breakfast, though, so at least i know she wasn’t disappointed or upset with me about how far things went. at least i hope.
fuck, jisung, i can’t stop thinking about her. it’s been two days already and nothing i do can make me forget her. the last night just made things infinitely worse. i played with fire and im getting burned for it. i can’t get the way she felt out of my head, the way she would also look into my eyes and see me for what i am inside, not just what i look like. i miss her milk bread, i miss seeing her outside the dance studio. 
jisung, i think i love her. no fuck it, i do love her, and there’s nothing i can do anymore. she clearly doesn’t want anything to do with me based on how she’d been avoiding me like the plague whenever i see her on the street. and now, i don't even know how much of what she felt, how much of what she did for me was real. did she put in so much effort because she wanted you to be happy? or was the way she hugged me, the way she spoke to me, was it all real?
it doesnt matter now. 
~
By the time you made it to the end of the page, your eyes were filled with tears and your vision blurred over. Minho...he loved you? Had you been so absorbed with wallowing in your own misery that you failed to realize that your actions were hurting him? 
Panic filled your very being, and as Jisung had predicted, you knew exactly what you had to do. You had to make amends, apologize for your actions, and at the very least, express your own feelings to him directly, even if it was too little too late. 
With the notebook clutched tightly in your hand, you grabbed your purse and rushed out the door, still putting on your boots as you hopped to the elevator. Which bus did you have to take to get to his apartment? First the #2 and then transfer over to #13...right.
You bolted out of the lobby, feeling the rush of cold air seep through your bones, but you hardly found it in yourself to care. You ran to the bus station, anxiously shuffling on either feet as you waited for the next #2 line bus to arrive. When the bus finally arrived, you were already standing at the edge of the sidewalk, too jittery to sit. The doors slid open, and before you could barge inside, your jaw went slack as a familiar figure stepped out of the bus, his own eyes widened as they caught yours. 
What was most interesting, however, was the familiar grey notebook that he clutched in his hand, one that was painfully identical to the one you were holding. 
The two of you stood in an awed silence as Minho got off the steps, and the bus drove away. Immediately, you felt a wave of concern as you looked him over from a distance. Did he lose weight? Was he getting enough sleep?
In the end, Minho was the one who spoke first, clearing his throat awkwardly, “Judging by the notebook in your hand, I’m assuming that Jisung fucked us both over?”
“Y-yeah, sort of,” you answered, surprised that your voice didn’t completely fail you in such an important moment. 
Minho seemed to wait for you to continue, but when you didn’t, he spoke again, “Um, I read it. Your diary entries.”
That wasn’t a surprise, of course, see that you read his, but you couldn’t stop the wave of flushed embarrassment from washing over you as you thought about all the embarrassing things  you wrote about him, “Oh.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, looking sheepish, “Do you really think I sound like an angel when I sing?”
Oh, if you could hide yourself six feet under, you would have. But you could nod shamefully, “Yeah.”
“Do you really like it when I cuddle with you and pull you onto my lap?” 
Was this your punishment for not being honest upfront? “Y-yes! Now can you please shut up--”
“Do you really love me?” 
The wind was knocked out of your lungs as you finally looked up to stare at Minho, whose face was unreadable as always. He held up the notebook and repeated his question when you couldn’t find it in yourself to muster up an answer, “You said in your final entry that you were in love with me, that you loved every part of me inside and out, and that our final night together just made everything so much more real. Is it true?”
Your eyes filled with pain as you choked out softly, “What will you do…if it is?”
Minho’s expression didn’t seem to change, but you didn’t miss the way his eyes seemed to return to their usual sparkle just a little bit, “If it is true, then I’d call you an idiot for ghosting me.”
“R-right--”
“And then I’d walk over to where you’re standing. I’d wrap my arms around your waist like the way you love, and I’d kiss you silly. I’d tell you that I’m totally and completely in love with you, as you probably already know from my diary entires, and I’d ask you to be my real girlfriend,” Minho spoke, his voice filled with meaning as his grip on your notebook tightened, “Now tell me, is it true?”
You couldn’t even remember how to breathe as you stared at him, the cold winter wind making his cheeks so delightfully rosy that all you wanted to do was to kiss them gently and warm them up with your mittens. And as he gazed at you, the sincerity pouring out of his posture, his words, and his eyes, there was no way you could continue lying to yourself. 
“It is true,” you said, your eyes filling with unshed tears as you gripped at his notebook, “I’m in love with you, Lee Minho, and it’s tearing me apart just like it’s tearing you apart. I want to love you for real, I want to date you for real, I want us to be real.”
Minho took three large steps forward before he was right in front of you and his lips crashed against yours in a breathtaking kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist like he’d promised, and yours cupped his cheek as he kissed you with unrestrained fervor. 
Wow, he really did kiss you silly.
“No more rules, no more of this social experiment bullshit,” he murmured against your lips as he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, “Do you want to be my real girlfriend, (name)?”
What was there to refuse? 
.
the enemies to lovers project: [success]
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hyuckvanqel · a month ago
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bestfriend!minho always imagined having you like this; sitting between his legs, your eyes, big n’ sweet, staring up at him while you’re hands folded neatly in your lap, waiting for his cue. and he does have you — his precious lil best friend, looking to him to show her how to make him feel good.
“pretty girl,” he muttered, reaching a hand out to your face, stroking his thumb along the crest of your cheekbone, his hand large enough to cup around your jaw, fingers sinking into your mouth. “look s’cute, baby.” he coos, letting your head rest against his thigh, smiling at the way your eyes slide shut contentedly. 
and he loves how you chase after his fingers when he pulls them from your mouth, how your half-lidded eyes gaze up at him with that haze covering them. he leans down to your eye-level. “you sure you wanna do this? we can stop at any time.”
he’s soft with you. his voice, his touch, his gaze, everything is so gentle. he likes the way it makes you’re cheeks burn, how you fumble your hands in your lap, not entirely sure what to be doing with yourself. “i wan’ it — i wan’ to, minnie! i wan’ to so bad. promise.” your blubber, nodding your head along with your heads almost desperately. cute.
minho leans back on the faded fabric of your couch, hand moving to pet down your hair. “okay, baby,” he starts, cooing at the way you shuffle closer to him, hands itching to touch him. “gonna be a good girl for me? gonna make me feel good?” 
and he loves the way you nod along with him. “i will — promise. please lemme make you feel good, minnie. tell me how to make you feel good.” 
he internally coos, letting you rest your head against his thigh, kissing and mouthing at the skin, dragging your lips to his knee, shooting a shiver down minho’s spine. alongside how you still use that sweet pet name for him, even when you’re about to take his cock down your throat.
 he swallows the taunts that bubble on his tongue, the teases and degrading pet names. he wants to be gentle with you, he wants to treat you softly. you’re not just any girl. no, you’re the sweetest girl he knows. he wants to take his time with you, make sure you feel safe with him. “don’t worry, pup, i’ll take care of you.” 
and if taking care of you meant training you to be drunk on his cock, well, he'll do just that <3
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dreamescapeswriting · 2 months ago
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The View ~ LMH [M] [Request]
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WORD COUNT:3.5K
PAIRING: Minho x Fem!Reader
GENRE: SMUT, fluffy with smut, blow job in a car, teasing, against the window fuck, creampie, begging to cum, unprotected sex, loving Minho, spanking,
A/N: Since you wanted this to be smut I went with a Charity Gala setting 🥰💕 Hope that you enjoy this sweetie     
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Giant crystal chandeliers dangling from the ceilings of the huge property you were walking through. A live pianist playing in the corner of the room that you were standing in. The whole thing gave you "Mafia Ball" vibes as you stood with your boyfriend. Tonight was supposed to be a huge charity benefit where people would auction off items for charity. Everything felt and looked as though it was expensive, as though you could never afford anything happening inside of the room. 
"You look breathtaking tonight." Chan, one of the leading benefactors said as he took your hand in his and placed a soft kiss on the top. Minho's grasp on your arm tightening just a little as he felt someone else next to you. He wasn't exactly the jealous type but tonight you looked exceptionally good and he would be dammed if anyone but himself told you that. 
"Minho," Chan smirked knowing just what he was doing, getting under Minho's skin like a splinter made of Iron.
"Easy," You whispered when you felt Minho's hands on your arm tight ever so slightly. 
"I'm all yours, remember." You smirked placing a soft kiss on Minho's cheek, leaving a faint mark of your lipstick across his skin. Minho did not want to be here under any circumstances. The moment he had seen you he wanted to stay home and never go anywhere else with you. 
It was the dress you were wearing, something he hadn't seen until tonight. A long black gown with a slit up the left leg. The velvet fabric clung to your body perfect and helped show each and every part Minho loved most about you. 
Including the lace bodice that seemed to be driving Minho wild at the sight of it. You knew he wouldn't be able to resist you in it but it wasn't for him. Tonight you were being auctioned off, only to dance with of course. 
Most of the females at the benefit were doing it in order to help raise money. It was a dance or they would be doing a carwash. You figured dancing would be far more beneficial to everyone and time savingly.
"Can we go yet?" Minho's voice was muffled as he put his head in your neck. Arms wrapping around your waist as he clung onto you, wanting nothing more than to go home and take the dress off you. It wasn't completely one-sided of course. The suit he was wearing was making your heart flutter and your legs shake just a little.
All black suit with a waistcoat and tie, it was something simple and yet on Minho, it looked gorgeous. Though to you Minho always looked gorgeous but tonight was something different. There was always something about a man wearing a suit that drove your mind wild.
"We can't go yet, you know I have to be bid on soon." You laughed, running your hand through his brown hair and ruffling it just a little. A low growl escaped his lips at the mention of the auction, it wasn't as though it was something he was best pleased about. The mere thought of you dancing with somebody else was going to drive him into a jealously spin and he didn't know if he would control himself. 
"You promised to be good," You smirked as he pulled you tighter, holding you from behind as he looked around at everyone in the room. There were so many other men in the room that would be willing to dance with you, barely taking their eyes off you from the moment you joined. 
"I am. I will." He muttered looking at you and sighing a little. It wasn't as though he was possessive just protective over you. 
"Ladies if you would like to come up onto the stage," A voice called out through a microphone. You smiled trying to leave Minho's arms but he locked them tightly around you. 
"Don't." He whined before you finally freed yourself. Kissing his cheek before heading up to the stage to join the rest of the girls up there. All of them dressed to impress.
"Finally we have Miss Y/l/n, shall we start the bidding at 
₩160000?" The female running the auction asked as she looked out at the crowd. A hand began raising toward the front and you smiled seeing Chan standing there. A lift was somehow lifted from you knowing that someone other than Minho would be willing to bid on you. 
"Do I hear, 170?" The woman answered, laughing as Minho's hand at the back shot right into the air. A smirk plastered across Chan's face as he winked up at you, raising the offer higher and higher each time the woman asked. Always trying to outbid Minho. Until finally, 
"1,000,000 going once...Twice...Congratulations Minho you won a dance with your own girlfriend," The announcer chuckled as you headed down from the stage, smirking at Chan as you passed him. 
"Well played Christopher," You whispered as he kissed your hand softly. 
"Anything for the charity, tell Minho we'll take it in cash or cheque," Shaking your head at him you began to walk toward Minho who looked jealous. It was clear to you what Chan had been doing from the start, just a little game in order to raise enough money but not to Minho.
To Minho it was a sign of Chan making a move for you, trying to take the person that Minho cared most about in this world. 
"We can't leave, you have to dance first." You whispered to Minho, taking your arm in your hand and squeezing just a little. Giving him a look to let him know that there was nothing going on between Chan and you. 
"You've got me," You whispered to him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and smiling.
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Swaying together on the dance floor all Minho could focus on was the way you moved your hips. Watching your every movement as you danced together with him. Normally he would be an avid dance partner but not tonight, tonight he was worried about what everyone else was doing. If they were watching you and he wanted to show who you were, that you were his and his alone.
"Y/n," He breathed out as you turned your back on him, his arms linked around your waist as you rolled your hips back to meet his crotch.
"What?" A smirk hit your lips as you began to feel him grow from one small touch. Barely even a full touch from you and he was already needy and ready to take you home. Not even home, there was one thing Minho hadn't told you about tonight and that was that he had organised something. 
Nothing large but an overnight stay in a fancy hotel for the two of you. Something to get you out of the house and experience this luxury a little while longer.
"We're going," He ordered in your ear as he took your arm into his grasp and headed toward the exit. 
"Minho, we haven't even paid yet." You laughed a little as he continued to pull you out. Ignoring the looks he was gaining from other people at the function.
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"Hmm my boy is so needy," You breathed out as you sat in the front passenger seat of his car. Hands resting on his thigh rubbing softly as his whole body seemed to tense up. Mind trying to focus on driving while you inched your hand higher and higher up his thigh until it was at his crotch. Palming him gently through the fabric of his smart pants. 
"Fuck," He whined out rolling his hips a little at a red light, glancing to you as he felt himself growing harder beneath your touch. Almost getting to the point where it was unbearable to feel you so close and yet so far away from him at the same time. The light changed and he drove again, your hand palming him a little harder as your other hand worked on undoing his buttons. 
"You missed our turning," You laughed as you saw Minho staring straight ahead. Eyes darkened as he shook his head at you, the feeling of taking you to a nice hotel for a romantic evening gone. Now all he wanted to do was get you there and fuck you so hard you would regret touching him in the car.
"Speak to me Minho," You whined as you took him out of his pants, pumping him in your hand as he let out a groan. Still not uttering a word in your direction so you continued to pump him, running your thumb along the slit of his cock and smirking. If he wasn't going to talk to you, you would have other ways of making him.
"Hmm, I guess you don't want to..." You whispered leaning down a little to spit onto his cock, kitten licking the head of his penis before smirking to yourself. There was one thing Minho hated most in the world and that was you teasing him. Glaring up at him you took him to the back of your throat, wasting no time in bobbing your head up and down. Swallowing around the head of his cock to make it tighter for him and enjoying the noises he let out. 
The whimpers and moans of your name as he continued to drive, in the completely wrong direction of your home together. 
"S-Shit!" He grunted parking in the parking lot as you continued to take him in your mouth. Playing with his balls until he let go into your mouth, slamming his hands onto the wheel and moaning out. 
"Shit! Y/n, fuck." He watched you as you raised from his crotch and wiped the corner of your lips. Slowly parting your mouth to show him all of his cum inside of your mouth. 
"You swallow it right now," He ordered as he took your face in his hands, tilting it back so that you couldn't drop any. Smirking at him you stared him in the eyes, not moving or swallowing anything. 
"I suggest you swallow it or you will spend the night clenching your thighs together at the thought of my cock being stuffed inside of you." The moment he threatened you with that you swallowed, parting your lips to show him that every last drop was gone and he smirked. A smug look plastered across his face as he got out of the car and pulled you out with him. 
"What are we doing here?" You questioned as you began to walk in the direction of the hotel. Minho simply smiled, tilting your head up to the fourth floor and showing you the large floor to ceiling windows. 
"You're going to get stuffed up against that window," He whispered right before wandering off on his own to go and check into the room. Leaving your legs rubbing together at the thought of him doing that with you. Something you had both wanted to do for the longest time.
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"Whoa!" You breathed out rushing over to the window and staring out at the city. Everything looked beautiful, you weren't that high up and yet you could still see everything. 
"The city lights look like stars," You whispered gazing out at everything as Minho dropped his bag onto the bed. Some spare clothes for the two of you to go home in tomorrow, that was if you could still walk by the time he was done with you. 
You opened your mouth about to say something else when your hands were pinned to the window above your head. Minho took in a deep breath and smirked at you,
"We should make this the best night of your life," He whispered as he bit down on your ear lobe, grinding his already hard cock against your ass with a smirk.
"T-The bed," You whispered but Minho shook his head, running one hand down the side of your dress to find the zip. 
"The bed looks, great baby...I would just throw you down, put you on your stomach and make you beg for my cock but..." He smirked taking in a deep breath and looking at the way you rubbed your thighs together at his words. How could you not? The thought of Minho doing anything to you sent a pool to your panties and made your stomach do flips.
"Against the window?" You questioned as you turned around to face him, holding your dress by the bodice since Minho had already unzipped your gown. 
"Take it off baby...Nice and slow." He whispered watching as you slowly let the dress fall to the ground. Exposing the black lace underwear set you had worn that night. 
"Now your bra," He smirked licking his lips as he watched you yet again. Unclasping your bra and watching him as you threw it to the side, 
"So hot," He moaned out as you began to rub your breasts in your hands.
"Shit princess, look at you...Squeeze and pinch your nipples like a good girl." He praised as you followed his orders, letting out a soft whimper. Nothing would feel as when he would do this to you, but you knew this was punishment for making him cum in your mouth in the car.
"Now your panties," He stood back a little, stripping himself down to nothing but his shirt and pants, watching as you kicked off your panties. Licking your lips as his eyes went straight to your core. 
"Tease your little pussy for me," He whispered watching as you began to slowly rub yourself with your fingers. Eyes fluttering shut as you imagined his fingers on you instead of your own. 
"Yes, just like that...Good girl." He praised once more watching as you continued to slowly and gently rub your clit. Letting out small whines when you couldn't touch yourself quite how he could.
"Look at that, all dripping wet and ready to be fucked." He whispered in satisfaction, rubbing himself through his pants as he moved closer to you. 
"Turn around and bent down in front of the window baby." He smirked slapping and grabbing your ass as you turned away from him. 
"Right against the glass baby, like a beautiful piece of art for people to see," He stood behind you, cock brushing between your folds as he made you look out at the city. 
"You think anyone can see? Maybe they can see the way your tits press up against the glass." He sniggered rubbing your clit with the head of his cock making you whine. 
"Minho please, fuck me." You begged him, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder but he looked at you. 
"I'll take my time with you, baby," He placed a soft kiss on your neck making your eyes flutter shut. You always loved feeling his lips on your neck, they made you feel so safe around him.
Rubbing himself at your entrance he made you face forward, cock ready to push into you as you whined. 
"F-Fuck, I'm just going to push into you baby," He smirked sliding into you and moaning out as you clenched around him,
"Mhmm, always so tight around my cock." He grunted as you moaned out. Hands stretched on the window as you looked out at the city, 
"Look at that, you're already starting to fog up the window baby." He chuckled as he began to slowly ease out of you only to slam right back into you and moan out. 
"Up against the glass, good girl." He moaned out as you pushed yourself against the glass, ignoring how cold it was against your tits and enjoying the way it felt to have him inside of you. Every inch of his cock stretching you out as he eased in and out of you. 
"Fuck, you're so much tighter...You like this huh?" He smirked slapping your ass and rubbing it softly in his hands, 
"You like being fucked up against a window when anybody could see you?" You knew this was either going to make or break tonight so you smirked, 
"Anyone? Like Chan?" Minho's hips froze as he held himself deep inside of your cunt. Hand gripping onto your ass as he asked you to repeat it. 
"What was that angel?" The roughness in his voice made you clench around him and he chuckled. 
"C-Chan could be watching," You repeated as you moaned out, rolling your hips back but he pushed you against the glass.
"You want that? You want Chan to see the way I fuck this pussy?" He began to roughly fuck in and out of you. Moaning out as you continued to try and grip onto the window. 
"Fuck! Just like that!" You screamed as he continued to get rougher with you, biting down on your skin. 
"You want Chan to see who makes you scream? Who you cum for ?" He smirked at you. 
"Acting like the little slut you are for me?" You could barely form words as you whimpered and nodded at him.
"Getting fucked from behind in front of the window, you're fucking mine." He grunted his thrusts getting harsher with each word that he spoke. Hands gripping onto your hips as you cried out nothing but his name. Getting lost in the feeling of his cock hitting that one spot over and over again. 
"You're fucking mine, say it." He ordered as he froze inside of you, holding himself at that one spot that made your toes curl into the carpeted floor. 
"No one can fuck you like that, can they?" He growled at you, hand slapping against your ass,
"No! No one can!" You screamed as he began to thrust once again, tits hitting the window as you cried out his name. 
"Take my dick baby, like the good little girl you are," He moaned out as you clenched around him, feeling your high fast approaching as you nodded 
"F-Fuck me Minho, fuck." You cried out as he continued to pound in and out of you harder against the glass. Moaning out your name as he kissed down your neck. 
"I like the view right now," He smirked as he continued to fuck into, rolling your hips against his as you cried out his name. Head getting lost at the feeling of him inside of you.
"You feel so good Minho," You moaned out as you looked over at him, moaning out as he slapped your ass again.
"Hmm, if Chab could see you like this right now, bent over for me getting fucked right against the window." He slapped your ass again and you moaned out, feeling your stomach tightening. The orgasm building up inside of you as your eyes began to shut,
"Minho!" You cried out as your legs began to shake a little, hands reaching into the window to grip onto anything you could.
"You want to cum?" You nodded desperately and he smirked, grabbing your shoulders as he began to pound into our harder, 
"Pound into that tight fucking pussy harder," He chuckled deeply as he began to get rougher with you.
"Fuck!" You screamed out, hands slamming against the glass as he looked at you in pleasure.
"That's the spot isn't it?" He chuckled as he moaned out, hitting that one spot that caused your legs to shake and your pussy to clench around him. Holding your shoulders to slam into that one point over and over again without fail. Your eyes widening as you felt yourself beginning to tip over the edge.
"Shit, shit! F-Fill me up! Fuck me full with your cum." You begged him looking over at him as he continued to fuck into you. Eyes darkening as he nodded his head 
"Make it drip out of me," You begged as he moaned out. Enjoying the way you begged for him as he fucked you like this.
"Yeah?" He questioned as you nodded over and over again. 
"YES!" You practically demanded as you looked over at him.
"So fucking beautiful, so sexy." He whimpered as he nodded at you, 
"Cum on my cock angel, cum around me." He moaned out as you cried out his name. Hands slamming against the glass as you finally let go of the release inside of you. Letting your orgasm wash over you like a wave and cum around him. Clenching and shaking uncontrollably as he fucked his load into you.
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The moment you dropped down onto the bed Minho switched demeanor, holding your waist in his and smiling. Making sure to hold you close to his body and rub your back softly. 
"I love you, baby," He whispered as he placed his lips on your skin softly and lovingly. Never wanting to let you go all night long if he could manage it, 
"We can order room service if you want?" He offers, realising that neither of you had eaten much at the charity event and how hungry you must have been. 
"Sure, with chocolate cake?" You hummed turning around in his arms so you were face to face with him, pressing a soft kiss on his lips.
"Perfect, I'll order it all soon." He whispers before kissing you once again.
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Tagline: @minholuvs @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​
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lotus-dly · 24 days ago
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SKZ as Different Romance Tropes
pairing: skz member x gn! reader
I saw this trend going around on tiktok a few weeks ago and wanted to do my rendition of it!
Bang Chan
trope: right person wrong time
that bittersweet feeling of loving someone but knowing that you have to let them go because it’s the best for you both
even though it breaks his heart he would be the one to suggest the breakup
he can see that over time the two of you have become distant with each other due to your careers and even though it pains you both to watch as you grow further and further apart you still tried to endure it for as long as you could
when you both had time to spend alone it was like nothing else mattered but those moments had only lasted so long before you were both pulled from that fantasy and thrown back into reality; one in which you couldn’t love one another the way you both wanted or deserved
he’d think he was being unfair to you, that he was somehow holding you back from finding someone better to which you would assure him that there was no one better for you than him
after a night filled with tear stained sheets and endless ‘i love yous’ softly whispered like a promise between you two, you had both decided it was best to break things off
“I will always love you. No amount of time will change that,” he had whispered against your lips that night.
the break up was especially hard and remaining friends was even harder but you both wouldn’t and couldn’t let that slip away as well
you both knew in your hearts that you were meant for each other, but now just wasn’t the right time
Lee Know
trope: enemies to lovers
you two wouldn’t even know why you disliked one another in the first place
every day was filled with rude comments or petty remarks from each other, often ending with one of you storming out and the tension left behind being thick enough to cut with a knife
you didn’t know when or why your feelings towards him started to change but suddenly your stomach was doing flips when you were within the same vicinity or your heart would flutter when his eyes met yours, even if they were filled with disgust you absolutely hated yourself for falling for the one man that despised you
it was during a particularly intense game of truth or dare when things changed between you, you had played it safe with truth and so Felix simply asked you if you had taken an interest in anyone recently
before you could lie and say no, Minho was scoffing into his drink before muttering, “Like anyone would date them.”
the night had ended with you storming out of the house crying, leaving a group of shocked boys and a dumbfounded and guilt ridden Minho behind
you avoided him like the plague for a week, making up an excuse to leave whenever he would show up, however, you still feel his burning gaze following you as you walked away every time
it was another two weeks before he finally confronted you, gripping you softly by the arm as he pulled you down an abandoned hallway and pressed you softly against the wall, his eyes way too soft for your liking
he had apologized then, looking genuinely guilty but when you tried to pull away from him he surprised you by pressing his lips to yours
“I didn’t want it to be anyone but me,” he mumbled as he pulled you closer, pecking your lips softly once more.
you two had a lot to talk about, but for now you were both happy that you both held the same feelings for one another
Changbin
trope: best friend’s brother
you knew it was basic friend code at this point not to fall in love with your best friend’s brother
even though she had never specifically said, you felt that it was wrong to feel the things you did for Changbin
that’s why you hid it when he kissed you one day when you were over at your friends house waiting for her to return
you couldn’t get the feeling of his soft lips or the way his strong arms felt wrapped around you out of your mind
your friend had even noticed how silent you would get when you’d come over to hanging out, starting to even refuse to spend the night
the guilt ate away at you until one day you burst into tears when she opened the door and begged for her forgiveness, the concerned and confused look on her face making you feel even more horrible
you confessed everything that night, your kiss with changbin and the feelings you held for him to which she erupted in a fit of giggles
“Y/n, I knew that you had a thing for him and it’s completely fine! I’m kind of relieved actually cause he won’t stop talking about how much he likes you.”
let’s just say that from then on you didn’t avoid changbin when you came over and that you definitely got tons of kisses and cuddles to make up for lost time
Hyunjin
trope: lover’s in denial
both you and Hyunjin had a kind of fear when it came to falling in love
you had both discussed in one night during the summer when you had went on a camping trip with your friends and both ended up not being able to fall asleep
that night you got to know Hyunjin a little bit more intimately, talking about your fears and passions, the two of you finding you had a lot of things in common
most notably, your thoughts on love
you had never experienced love in the typical sense, sure you had caught feelings before yes but you had never experienced a relationship with anyone
it turned out that it had been the same with Hyunjin, although you learned that even though he yearned for it, he was also scared of it
from that night on you had begun to feel things for the other, a sudden heat in your cheeks when he teased you, a weird pang in your chest when he sat a little to close to someone attractive, the way your stomach felt all weird when he’d hug you or look at you like you were the only person in the world
when you started to realize that you might have feelings for him you denied it, not wanting to get your hopes up thinking he doesn’t feel that way about you
but what you didn’t know is that Hyunjin was having these exact same feelings when it came to you and he too was to scared to admit it, so he denied those warm feelings you made him feel because he felt that he was less likely to get hurt that way
Han
trope: first love
falling in love with each other had been as easy as breathing
all of your first experiences had been with him
loving him was something new, a foreign feeling but something that had you intrigued and wanting more
he was so gentle with you all the time, treating you as though you were a delicate flower that needed to be preserved
he taught you how someone should love you, how they should cherish you
over the years with him you had made so many special memories together that you would always cherish
even to this day you still had pictures up of you two because before he was your first love, he was your best friend and he always would be
being each other’s first loves meant that you had always held a soft spot for him in your heart
the love between you had lasted longer than you ever thought it would have and for that you were grateful
people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time and you were thankful that he was able to be by your side growing with you for several chapters of it
even after you had both long moved on with other people, you still felt that soft bittersweet ache for the love that taught you everything good and worth falling in love for and how appreciative you were to one another for it
Felix
trope: childhood friends to lovers
if anyone would have told you when you were younger that you two would end up together you both would have laughed in their face
however when your lips met one night after a nasty breakup you went through, you had started to think it could have been possible
however that kiss had awakened something in both of you that you had felt been there since the day you two met
the more you thought about it the more you realized you had always loved one another and only in the different stages of your friendship as you grew up did it turn into something more
when you finally found the courage to show up on his front porch you took the initiative to kiss him that time, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he pulled you closer and deepened it
from that moment you both knew, it couldn’t have ever been anyone else
Seungmin
trope: unrequited love
while he had fell for you over and over again you had never felt the same
he was just a friend to you and even though he knew he could never be anything more, he was happy that he was at least able to always be by your side as your best friend
although he briefly thought about it he could have never prepared for the utter heartbreak he would feel watching you fall in love with someone else until it happened
even though his heart would break watching you smile at someone else or cuddle up in the arms of another he still supported him even though it hurt him
He’s always be there to wipe away your tears when it never worked out or hold you when you didn’t want to be alone
“Why couldn’t I just have fallen in love with you,” you mumbled sleepily as you fell asleep against his chest.
“Believe me, I wish you could have,” he whispers as a single tear slips from his eye.
I.N
trope: fake relationship
it was meant to be fake and that’s all
during a particularly weird game of truth or dare you and jeongin had been dared to fake date for a month and then break up
you two had only agreed to do it as long as the other was comfortable
during that month you had thought it would have been a fake relationship in name only, however, you found yourself and jeongin spending a lot more time together
you were constantly glued to each other’s sides and when you weren’t together for long periods of time you would send cute texts or even FaceTime
when he had free time he liked to take you exploring all over the city, often taking you on cute little dates and would hold your hand gently in his to not lose you as you walked around
as the month approach it’s end, you found yourself dreading the break up
during that month you had started developing real feelings for jeongin and he did too
on your technical last day as a couple, jeongin had taken you to the spot where you had your first date, arm wrapped tightly around you shoulder as you both silently stared at the city lights dancing across the water
“We have to break up tomorrow,” you heard yourself mumbling. His body froze slightly at your words, remaining silent at you continued. “Although this has been the best fake relationship I’ve ever been in,” you laughed softly as you nuzzled your head into his shoulder
“It was never fake for me y/n,” your eyes met his and you took notice of the faint blush on his cheeks
leaning forward you pressed a soft kiss to one of them, “It was never fake for me either.”
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chogiwow · 4 months ago
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little things that matter | stray kids
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 intimate actions that you share with them (not nsfw)
 wc: 0.6k+
 warnings: none
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  chan - sleeping shirtless
you're both pretty big on skinship and intimacy and it's not always the sexual type. sleeping shirtless is like a big leap of faith in your relationship cause y'all are just that comfortable around each other. chan usually comes to bed later than you but he loves it when he puts his arm around your waist and feels your skin underneath. it's just? he's just so so happy and his heart swells in joy cause of how comfortable you are around him and trust him so much to be able to sleep like that. plus y'all really love the non sexual intimacy you can enjoy.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  minho - letting you sit on his lap
think more along the lines of cradling a cat. minho isn't big on skinship, but he loves it when you climb into his lap, straddling him around the waist and put your arms around his neck, burying your face and nuzzling your nose. he holds you by the waist, albeit whining about it but never refuses your soft moments. will sit like that for as long as you want cause he's secretly a sucker for your hugs.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  changbin - nuzzling into your neck
oh he loves to nuzzle his face against your neck, especially if you're ticklish! pressing soft kisses and resting his head against the warmth of your skin is his favorite thing to do. prolly lies down on top of you often, careful not to crush you with his weight tho, and rubs his cheek against yours.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  hyunjin - braiding your hair
this man right here knows how good it feels to have someone run their finger through your hair cause you do it all the time with him. it's natural for him to return the gesture to make you feel loved. loves it when your eyes get droopy and you abandon scrolling through your phone to turn to him and ask him to continue. if you have piercings, he'd play with them or softly caress your ears.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  han - hugging your arm
you're his personal throw pillow. he's always hugging you or your arm to sleep. it's like a safety blanket for him to feel your arm pressed up against his cheeks. he always needs to hug something to sleep, and your arm just so happens to meet his requirements. alternately, would love to be small spooned, curling up like a ball and burying his head against your chest or sometimes even stomach. you just make him feel so warm and safe.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  felix - putting his hand under your shirt
another one big on skinship. he's always hugging or cuddling with you. but one thing he loves doing is softly rubbing circles onto your waist or hands with his thumb. loves it when you both take turns in drawing on each other's back or stomach and guessing what it was. man is also big on asmr, so probably does a lot of face tracing, just running his finger over your nose and lips and cheeks to relax you. might sometimes turn into a tickling competition ending in giggles.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  seungmin - playing with your fingers
okay, absolute sucker for hand holding cause he's a little shy initiating any kind of skinship. y'all prolly enjoying a lazy afternoon and he just quietly takes your hand in his and compares them. would grin if your hands are smaller than his. gives you small massages across your palm and wrist, maybe even kissing your hand once in a while.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚  jeongin - big spooning you
oh he loves to cradle you like a baby. especially if you're lying on the couch and space is a construct so you shrink into him, back pressing against his chest, legs clamped down by his and his arm around your waist. absolutely loves it tho when you turn around and press small feathery kisses across his chin and jaw.
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hyuneluvbot · a month ago
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i don’t wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your lips
pairing- lee minho x reader
genre- fluff, best friends to lovers
warnings- reader skips meals because they’re super caught up with work, so if that might be triggering, please don’t proceed further. also a single curse word :D 
word count- 1.6k
synopsis- minho doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore, and today was just the push he needed, when he sees you giving attention to another male, he finally realises he can’t keep hiding his feelings.
author’s note- that synopsis was absolute crap. very cliché, bestf likes you, gets jealous and confesses. 
this is inspired by the song “i wanna be your girlfriend” by girl in red, specifically the lyrics ‘i don’t wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your lips; i wanna kiss you until i lose my breath.’ think i stumbled across an edit of minho on this song, which inspired this idea jdjdjdj ok bye. 
“why do you always end up skipping meals?” minho rolls his eyes for what seems like the hundredth time since you’d met him today.
“i was finishing this up, look it’s almost complete,” you quickly turn your laptop in his direction, showing him your progress. 
he scans whatever document you’d shoved into his face, but deems it uninteresting seconds later, opting to stare at you as you try to talk to him with your mouth full.
“don’t talk while you’re eating,” 
“ooh min your concern’s showing,”
“it’s because you look ugly,” he manages to pull a disgusted face.
‘of course you don’t look ugly’ he corrects himself in his head.
you never do, you never have; not in his eyes. 
he watches you as you eat the meal you’d pestered him to prepare for you, explaining how you lost track of time and forgot to eat.
it was true, well part of it was.
you weren’t going to tell him you wanted to see him with the excuse of food. 
--
when you’re done with your meal, you thank him and quickly pack up your stuff, getting ready to go back to the library where you were previously working in, when he stops you and tells you he wants to join you. 
“huh? but you’ll get bored there,” you say softly. 
“i’ve nothing better to do, plus i should keep a check on you so you don’t skip more meals,” he says, narrowing his eyes, almost as if he was convincing himself and not you. 
lies. he promised changbin and hyunjin he’d join in on the weekly movie marathon and karaoke night.
but oh well, they won’t mind. 
so before you try to protest more, he grabs your arm, tells you you’re wasting time and walks you to the direction of the library.
--
“min, can we get ramen after i’m done with work?” 
“tch, little piggy. you just ate and you’re already thinking about your next meal,” 
but despite his words, he still smiles, appreciating the effort on your part to prove to him you were true to your word and weren’t planning on skipping any more meals.
it’s silent for a while as you walk to your destination together, only making a stop at a nearby café to get some coffee and pastries as snacks while you work.
he waits as you place both of your orders, wanting to treat him as a thank you for the meal.
you start to make your way to him when you hear a voice call out to you.
“y/n, hey!” a boy approaches you.
minho quickly analyses the male.
almost as tall as him, fluffy curly hair, thick glasses, dressed in a black hoodie and matching joggers. 
the boy takes off his mask and smiles at you, his dimples on full display.
he quickly pulls you into a hug that you happily return.
minho’s stomach churns in discomfort, as a pang of jealousy and insecurity hits him.
he doesn’t care to pay attention to the conversation you both have, zoning out and only catching onto parts of it.
why do you look so happy with that boy?
why are you smiling at this boy like that? 
you only smile like that to him. 
you only hug him like that.
“i didn’t expect to see you here, when did you come back?” 
“just a few days ago, i’m leaving after my sister’s wedding, what’re you doing here?” 
“oh i’m just heading to the library with a friend, come say hi,” 
his head immediately shoots up as he sees you approach him with the male.
“min this is my friend minho,” “and min, this is minjun,” you giggle at the same name you refer to both of them with.
minjun offers his hand to minho, smiling, and it makes minho feel almost guilty for thinking of him as a threat.
he tries to push away his feelings and returns a tight- lipped smile, clutching his hand with his own, maybe a little tighter than he’d intended to.
minho sees you smile at him for trying to get along with minjun, and the sight of it eases his nerves a little. 
‘the things i do for you,’ he sighs and tries to initiate a conversation with the new male.
after what felt like hours of watching you smile and happily giggle with minjun; minjun receives a text and suddenly becomes alert. 
“shoot, gotta go, i’ll catch up with you later though,” he quickly pulls you in for another hug. 
“maybe we can hang out soon,”
“i’d love that,” minjun smiles and squeezes your hand, passing a small smile to minho before making his way out of the café.
minho watches him leave as you go back to pick up your coffees, shooting daggers to the boy’s retreating figure with his glare.
--
while you’re in the library working, you can’t help take note of minho’s behaviour. 
he’s been awfully silent this whole time, only replying to you with nods and blunt responses, sometimes not responding at all.
he’s usually a quiet person, but this is unlike him. 
he sits beside you, idly tapping one of your pencils he got a hold of on the table, and he seems in a daze, staring far away and not paying attention to his surroundings.
“y/n, who am i?” he suddenly asks you, making you tear your eyes away from your screen for a split second.
“minho. lee know. lee minho. min. uhh, cat boy,” you go on to list all the names you’d called him by over the years, only to get interrupted.
“no who am i to you?” he asks, his lips forming the smallest pout against his will.
“well, you’re my friend-”
“no.”
you furrow your brows in confusion, now fully turning to his figure seated beside you.
“what do you mean no?” you ask him innocently.
“i don’t wanna be your friend,” he responds.
it came out harsher than he expected, because he sees a hurt expression flash across your face and it makes him feel extremely sorry in an instant. 
“oh,” you look away.
he contemplates on whether or not he should say it. 
he doesn’t want to lose you and your friendship.
but at the same time, he sure as hell doesn’t wanna lose you to another boy, especially not when he hasn’t even had a chance to love you properly, to show you how much you mean to him. 
‘say it’ the voice in his head chants to him, over and over. 
and so he does. 
“i don’t wanna be your friend because i want to kiss you,”
this makes you do a double take, your eyes widening almost comically, trying to comprehend if you heard that right.
“you what?”
“i want to kiss you; on your lips. also your cheeks, your nose. i want to kiss you everywhere,”
“if you’d allow me,” his previously harsh gaze softens as he looks at you before continuing. 
“why don’t you see? i’m in love with you, i’ve always been, i try so much but you never see me,” he finally lets out, almost whining.
“min, i- i never knew,” you stutter, overlapping your sentences. 
“well now you do. y-you should do something about it you know,” he concludes, his voice going down to a whisper and though he tries his best to appear confident, he still overlaps his words and stutters because of how nervous he is.
it’s so silent afterwards, both of you feel like you can hear just how fast your hearts are beating.
he doesn’t even look at you when you push your chair back, he assumes this is it. 
‘i should’ve kept quiet’
though he’s quickly pulled out of his thoughts when you take ahold of his face and lean down to capture his mouth with yours. 
he freezes for a few seconds before slowly relaxing into your touch, a small smile making its way to his lips.
then he pulls you down to his lap and sneaks his arms around your torso, holding you as close to him as your bodies would allow.
chests touching as you share sweet kisses; you sit there wrapped up in the other’s embrace.
you reluctantly pull away from him when you feel like you’re losing your breath, and disappointed, he tries to chase after your mouth with his own.
after you’re breathing somewhat normally, you slowly start to piece things together to why he was being so moody and why he admitted to his feelings now.
“were you upset because of minjun?” you ask him, trying to hold back your smile. 
his face instantly turns into one of annoyance before he starts to rant about the incident from the café. 
“you called me a friend, i’m not just a friend, and you know it! i’m a friend and he’s just minjun? wrong.” he pauses and refuses to look at you.
“you called him min! i’m min,” he huffs 
“but i thought you hated that name,” 
“it’s my favourite name out of all the ones you’ve called me,” he says in a low voice but you catch on nonetheless.
“you even hugged him like that,”
“like what?” 
“l-like you only hug me!” he’s clearly upset and it’s evident from the way he’s speaking to you.
“i’m always the happiest around you though,”
“you’re my favourite min,” you state, fondling with his fingers.
you finally crack a giggle at his expression.
round, wide eyes, rosy cheeks, lips pulled into a pout.
“w-what am i to you now?” he almost whispers, looking at you with the softest expression you’ve seen. 
wanting to play with him a bit more, you quickly kiss him again, for longer this time, not hesitant with your actions anymore, knowing he felt just the same as you did, and pull away to rest your foreheads together. 
“you’re my friend of course, best friend,” you smile cheekily.
he scoffs at that, should’ve seen that coming. 
“fuck you,”
“i love you too min,” you kiss his nose. 
270 notes · View notes
huenjin · a year ago
Text
and they were roommates.
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summary — who would have thought that a very naked sight of your best friend and a torn shower curtain in the rainiest of weathers could start romance? or in which you start falling for your childhood best friend, lee minho, unaware that he’s always been in love with you.
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pairing — lee minho x reader, ft. binsung.
genre — fluff, smut, crack | roommates!au, bff2l!au
rating — 18+
word count — 11k words.
note — smut warnings under the cut, ofc! i suck at making summary adagafga!! but but but, i promise this story is adorable, okay, minus all that smut, my lame humor and those bit of rushed parts? this took forever and i'm so sorry for all that had to wait, especially the one who requested this uwuwu. 
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smut warnings — a lot of kissing, a lot of swearing, mentions of naked exposure, fingering, cunnilingus, riding/reader on top, penetration, unprotected sex (wrap it before you snap it), choking. there isn't a loooot of smut either, ah! so enjoy the fluff ride.
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"You idiot," you scream, loud enough for your neighbours to hear. You pull out the keys that hang outside in the key hole and pull open the door. "How could you leave the keys outside, Minho?"
"I mean, what if someone stole it?" You throw your keys and Minho's into the small box on a ledge by the door. Removing your shoes, you put on the pair of your house shoes by the side and walk further into the apartment. "Or what if someone broke in? You could get killed, you dumb hoe! Or worse, our new television could get stolen."
You hear no response and just the loud sound of shower running in the bathroom hits the walls of your shared apartment. You walk to your room, passing by the common bathroom, after throwing your bag on the sofa. You talk on the way, yelling in hopes that he would hear.
"Did you walk back in the rain? There's no other reason as to why I did not see you after college. Jisung was searching for you too, Minho."
You change into a pair of shorts and black camisole, pulling your hair up and knotting it, all while your ears pick up the small humming from the bathroom. You shake your head at the fact that since it's Lee Minho in the shower, he is probably going to take his own time to come out. After all, he is the reason why your water bill is so high. 
"Yah, Lee Minho!" You walk outside and hit the door with your fists to bring at least a little of his attention towards you. "Do you want the leftovers or should I get food delivered?"
"Delivery!" he screams back, hearing the shower sounds lower and you yell back in response, "Okay," and walk back to the living room, falling back and plopping down on the comfortable rexine covered sofa. 
Your phone rings in the next minute and you are pulling it from your pocket quickly all because you are bored out of your mind. It is also because your stupid best friend from the god forbidden age of five to till this date, takes forever to get out from the shower.
It's Jisung. Not that you would have a doubt even if you had picked up without looking at the name on the screen — your friend circle is that small. It has just been you, Minho and Jisung majorly for almost three fourth of your life, the other one fourth of it with you having your parents as your best friends. Jisung had always been the annoying kid in the playground that pushed you off the swing because he wanted to play and Minho had always been the knight in shining armour in your local playground, the defender of all things right as he saved you from Jisung's frustrating taunts. 
And then your mother — oh dear, she is the reason why you are still stuck with Minho's rich arse (mostly because she thought too that this is the finest her very antisocial daughter would ever find in a man) — decides that since Lee Minho was so kind to save her poor damsel-like daughter, he might as well do it forever. Fast forward to present day, and you are still cleaning up after him. 
"Did Minho reach home?" Jisung asks as soon as you answer the call. You roll your eyes and shift your position to one that allows you to stretch your leg against the length of the sofa.
"Oh, hi, Y/N," you fake your tone, mocking Jisung's ignorance. "Did you reach home safely? Did you get caught in the rain? Oh no!" And then quickly changing it back to normalcy, "Yes, Jisung. I reached home safely. The rain did get heavy as I walked back home but nothing to worry. Did you reach home safely?"
Jisung is laughing loudly on the other end. "Sorry, Y/N," he makes a weird kissing sound and you pull your phone away from your ear. "I presume Minho's safe at home, else you would be the one to crash my phone with the endless calls in worry of his safety. Ha!"
"He got caught in the rain," you sigh. "I hope he's okay though. I would have mentioned how he was, had he just come out of that goddamn bathroom but no! It almost seems like he is rebuilding the whole bathroom." Jisung laughs so loud that you have to pull the phone away from your ear again. 
"Dude, dude, dude," Jisung calls out for you through the line.
"Yeah?" 
"You and Minho are totally like my parents fighting." 
"Do you want to get punched in your face, Han Jisung?" You sit up straight, folding your leg across each other and bending forward, your elbow digging into your thigh as your hand supports your head. 
"And my boyfriend would punch yours if you punched mine," he huffs and you know he is talking about Seo Changbin. At a good five feet and six inches, the shorter male befriended Jisung and then wooed him over in grade eleven with some weird shining universe experiment for a science project and the Han Jisung you had always known, fell for the gesture immediately. They began dating a week after, making Changbin the only other human being you willingly chose to become closer to.
"Like Minho would let that," you click your tongue and Jisung laughs again, mumbling, "How have you guys not slept with each other yet? You guys are roommates."
"I'll kill you, Han Jisung."
"Like you would." The minute Jisung taunts back, you hear a loud noise of something crashing down and the sound is from the bathroom. You jump upwards, quickly hanging up without even telling Jisung that you were leaving as you drop your phone and rush towards the bathroom, taking huge steps to reach before the door in less than a few seconds.
You slam your fist against the door, over and over again, yelling, "Yah," to draw his attention before asking, "Minho, are you okay? I'm coming in," and you pull open the door to the common bathroom. A decision you wish you had not chosen but one you had to take for his safety.
Before a very surprised you lay a very, very naked Lee Minho, groaning with his back against the cold white tiles of the bathroom, neck lifting his head above to instinctively avoid hitting the floor. His hand holds a huge piece of the shower curtain that he must have tried holding onto before falling and as the colour drains from your face, lips wide apart, staring at your naked best friend in shock who is staring back at you, it dawns upon you quickly.
You immediately slap your hand over your eyes and scream as loud as you could possibly, "Fuck, fuck. I just saw your schlong, oh my god!"
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"Are you not going to look at me at all now that you saw my dick?"
Minho rolls his eyes at you as a soft groan leaves his lip while he tries to make himself more comfortable on his bed. This time, he is fully clothed, black shirt over his torso and navy blue shorts. You are sitting on a small chair by his side, Chinese herbal medicinal mix in a white ceramic bowl, a tub filled with warm water and a towel and long white bandages on the table by the bed. The Chinese herbal medicinal mix was something your mother specifically ordered you to prepare for the boy before you.
You hand him a cup of warm water first which he takes and is about to swallow it down when you look at the wooden bedpost behind him and mumble, "But I saw your womb raider." Minho chokes on the water before coughing and you quickly pat his back which leads him to cry softly in pain and you are left apologising over and over again for being reckless.
He places the cup on the table and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he narrows his eyes at you and questions, "Womb raider? What the fuck?"
"You know, your schlong," you look away, heat rising up to your cheek. "I saw your schlong, a womb raider."
"I can't believe you call a dick that," he groans, rolling his eyes as if he has completely given up on you, "After having your womb raided enough by many womb raiders."
You look away, taking the ceramic bowl in your hand and mumbling, "None of them were long and thick enough to be called a womb raider though."
"Did you say anything, Y/N?" 
"Nothing," you yell and glare at him, cheeks still hot with the image still vivid in your head. "You can't look disappointed in me," you frown at him, "I should be disappointed. You tore the shower curtain."
"It was a mistake!" Minho gasps and tries to sit up but quickly ditches the plan when he feels the spin surge through him. You place the bowl back on the table and push yourself forward to help Minho sit up, your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest against his as you slowly pull him up. Minho explains himself, "If I didn't hold onto that, I would have gotten injured worse. I'm almost perfect now. It's just the slight—" You press your palm against his back and he seethes in pain.
"Slight pain, indeed," you scoff and finally let him rest against the bedpost. "This should do the magic though." You lift the ceramic bowl again and wave it before him, shoving the weird smelling green substance right in front of his nose. "My mother totally said it would work. She also said that you would have to be on the bed resting the whole day."
"You'll be my maid the whole day," Minho lights up, face instantly shining and you sigh, "Do I have an option? After this day though, we are going to buy shower curtains and you are going to pay for it because you tore it." You accuse him and he clicks his tongue.
"Fine."
"Remove your shirt now," you order and he looks at you, a teasing glint glistening in his eyes and he smiles, moving slightly closer.
"Why? Are you going to call my abs washboard now? That you could do laundry on them?" He purses his lips and leans forward and you push him back, his aching back hitting the bedpost again and Minho is crying with pain on the soft impact, albeit this time, you worry if it is fake. "Y/N," he cries, clamping down against his lower teeth hard, "Can you go easy on me?"
"Then stop teasing me!"
"Fine!" He huffs and looks away, "Help me out of this shirt now."
"What? Why? You put the shirt on fine. Can't you remove it on your own?" You question him, the ceramic bowl securely on your lap. Minho stares at you for the longest time ever and you stare back.
Has his eyes always been this tender? Has his skin always been this soft? Was Lee Minho always this charming and pretty to look at?
This is all because you saw his stupidly good dick, argh!
Minho finally answers, "It's harder to remove a shirt than to wear it." You shake your head and your eyes narrow to crinkled slits as you watch your best friend for a second more before placing the crucible back on the table and bending yourself forward to hold tightly the ends of his black shirt. You lift the black material up and remove it from his torso, exposing his abdomen and chest to the warm breeze in the air. 
He stares at you and you stare at him back, only till you take the white ceramic bowl again and hopefully the last time and you raise an eyebrow at him, mocking him, "Aren't you going to give me the classic Wattpad naked white male line?"
"What line?" 
He looks confused and you laugh, holding the bowl tightly, "You know, the—" You try to lower the pitch of your voice and to sound as cocky as possible, smirking, "Like what you see, baby girl?"
Minho laughs with you till he calms himself down a little, tilts his head and in the most guttural voice you have ever heard your best friend ever go, he repeats, "Like what you see, my baby girl?"
Your heart should not have sped up. Your fingers should not have tightened against the cold white crucible. You should not have pressed your thighs against each other. You should not have had your throat dried up at his very words. But it did and you are staring at Lee Minho in an angle you had never seen him. 
When did that stupid five year old boy who thought he could save the whole world grow up into this man?
"Uh, Y/N," Minho waves his hand in front of you, trying to bring your attention back. "Are you going to apply the medicine or? I mean, it's cold."
"Oh yeah," you stutter. "Yeah, yeah, I was about to. Can you turn back so that I can apply it on your back?"
"Yeah," he nods and pressing his hands into the mattress, he shifts himself, turning a one hundred and eight degrees away from you so that his back is facing yours. "This okay?"
"Yeah," you agree. You bend your arm forward to take the cloth soaked in warm water and you press it against his back. Minho bites his tongue in pain, eyes watering before he can't take it anymore and he turns back to face you. 
"Minho?"
"Can I do that thing you allowed me to do whenever I was in pain and you had to take care of me?" He asks, unsure, "Am I allowed?"
You nod, softly, smiling warmly at the man before you and you lift the chair up slightly. Minho quickly wraps his arms around your waist, his face buried into your soft chest as he edges closer to you. You place the warm cloth again on his broad back and Minho does what he has always done to combat pain.
He bites into your flesh softly, hard enough to trigger something weird within you at this age but soft enough to not cause any pain. 
Your eyes widen and your thighs tighten a bit but Minho is unaware to all this as he snuggles into your warmth, head fuzzy with the pain that throbs through his entire back. After a few minutes, you place the cloth back on the table and hold the crucible tightly. You dig your forefinger and middle finger into the green mix before applying it on his back, soft circles to calm him down and Minho lets go of your flesh, although he still continues to snuggle into you, his thick arms tightening around your frame.
"You're comfortable to hug," he mumbles as you apply the medicine all over his back, his face occasionally pressing against your breast and you gulp, reminding yourself that this is your best friend, that this is the kid you've seen in all his embarrassments. 
"Of course, I am," you laugh. "It doesn't pain that much, does it?"
"Not anymore."
"Good," and you apply another layer over the existing one. "Because if you say anything else to my mother, I swear to God, Lee Minho, I will—"
You don't complete. Minho laughs — soft, precious laughter that fills the air and engages your ears. He tilts his head to look up at you from his lower angle. You look down only to come in direct vision of his bright, glistening eyes that hold the stars behind them and his oh-so-flawless skin that you are envious of. Your heart beat escalates and you are about one hundred percent sure that Minho is aware. After all, he did have his ear against your chest in this position. 
"Fine, fine," his voice is airy and you could listen to it the whole day. "I'll tell your mother that her daughter took care of me perfectly, alright?"
"Perfect," you smile. "Now sit up straight. I need to bandage you up, just in case." Minho begrudgingly pulls back, a soft whimper leaving his lips before he huffs, folding his arms and sitting straight, looking you in the eyes and you gulp. 
"I'll be fine in a day, Y/N," Minho whines and you shake your head, mumbling, "Just in case." You turn your body to grab hold of the white roll of bandage before you beckon for him to come a little closer as you wrap the bandage over his torso, covering the medicinal herbs sticking to his body now. 
"You, in fact," you chuckle as you tighten the bandage and Minho seethes in pain at having his muscles pressed. You rub his hair affectionately before continuing, "You, Lee Minho, should be ready enough to cash out money for the shower curtain."
"Fine, fine, fine," Minho huffs only to break out into a smile as he looks at you. "We'll go as soon as I don't think I'll die if I stand up and straighten my back, okay?"
"Perfect," you laugh and pull yourself away from your best friend, clipping the bandage in the exact manner. You help him lie back against the soft mattress. You pick up the crucible and the tub of water as you stand up. 
"Y/N," Minho calls out for you and you turn, your head gliding against the joint and your eyebrows rising up in question.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks," he smiles, eyes closed and face so soft that you do want to hold it.
"For what?"
"For taking care of me, doofus. What would I have done had you not been there? You are my knight in shining armour now."
You laugh but your heart is furiously beating against your chest, thrumming against it so loudly that you can hear the beats. Your cheeks flush with heat and you look away, mumbling, "It's nothing," and walk away. You close the door quickly and fall against the vast wooden door finally, away from his presence and you hold the bowls close to you.
Fuck. When did your heart start beating this hard for the same man that you once knew as the stupid five year old with elephant print trunks? When did your heart start thrumming so loudly against your chest for your only best friend?
Either ways, you are doomed. Inevitably.
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Jisung: baby, i think it's about time Changbin: for what? Jisung: you know, how we always said those two should probably fuck Changbin: yeah? Jisung: the sexual tension is too high. can we get it over with already and have them date already? Changbin: you've been trying this forever and you failed. Jisung: don't remind me. you're my boyfriend, support me. Changbin: fine! go, sungie!! i love you either way though.
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It is exactly three days after the I-exposed-my-cock incident that Lee Minho agrees to go with you to buy the shower curtains. 
"Can't we just buy it online?" He had whined, arms folding against each other as he scrolled through his phone. You stand by the sofa, head shaking in disappointment as you reason back, frustrated, "The material," and you hit his arm. Minho winces. "The material is important. I won't compromise on that. Plus, you promised that you would come with me to buy something that you tore. Isn't that only fair?"
Minho does so. After bargaining with him for one tub full of mint chocolate ice cream that you will never understand why he loves so much. 
That is exactly how you find yourself here in this shop, shopping cart in your hand and Minho by your side.
"We are only buying the shower curtain," you tell him, staring at the half full shopping cart. "So I don't understand why we need all these."
Minho smiles sheepishly at you. He then points at the two tubs of ice cream and says, "One for you, and one for me. I even chose your favorite flavor!" He continues to point at each article and tell why he needs them very articulately and you stand there in surprise before breaking his speech.
"Fine, fine!" You push the cart ahead. "Now let's just go and get what we came here for." Minho follows you, his one hand on the shopping cart handle to keep pace with you. The two of you stop right in front of the array of curtains in different colours, some on display and some packaged and you smile, whispering under your breath, "Tada." Minho looks at you softly, at the small voice of joy that escapes your lips and he just watches you light up in fascination at something as simple as shower curtains.
Fuck, he loves your domesticity.
"Let's take this," Minho announces as he stretches his arms out to hold onto a pretty blue shower curtain. You hold it in between your fingers feeling the texture before announcing, "No."
"But why?" Minho whines, following your footsteps as you hold onto another shower curtain. 
"Because it's polythene," you frown at your best friend. Minho looks at you, confused, his eyebrows furrowing as they look at you like you have grown another pair of hands and legs.
"And so?"
"You could tear it again!"
"It happened once," he sighs, frustrated. "Once. It's not like I'm waiting to fall in the shower, tear the curtain and have you see my dick all the time, babe."
Your cheeks flush at his announcement and the tag he calls you by, your eyes looking away from his pretty face for a split second. Minho shakes his hand, taking a step forward to check a few other shower curtains out when the two of you hear a very familiar voice from behind, in the most professional manner ever.
"Sir, the one you chose is perfect. It is very durable and doesn't stain on contact with water—"
"Han Jisung?" Minho turns, the words of shock leaving his mouth almost instantly. You turn impulsively, eyes wide.
"What the fuck are you guys doing here?"
"Hey," you narrow your eyes at the other male. "I could file a report for bad customer service about now, Sungie."
He folds his arms and looks at the two of you suspiciously, "What are you guys doing here?" He raises an eyebrow at you, scoffing at you, "Like you would."
"What does it look like we're doing here, Sungie?" You bite back jokingly and Jisung laughs, gaze shifting between the two of you.
"I don't know," he runs a hand through his hair before folding his arms again, his fluorescent yellow uniform crumbling with the shift in his arms. "Is this some sort of a new way to date?"
"We aren't—" You quickly start when Minho pulls a curtain forward and breaks your sentence before you can complete as he asks Jisung, "This isn't polythene, is it?"
"Are you stupid?" Jisung frowns before he laughs. "That's clearly polythene. Minho, dude, you're a chemical engineering student. You have got to be kidding me if you can't identify polythene."
Minho doesn't pay heed to Jisung's words. You, on the other hand, stare at your best friend who walks away from you to examine more shower curtains. Did Lee Minho really ask Jisung, a literature student, whether that was polythene — What in the world?
"Y/N? Earth to Y/N?" Jisung snaps your attention back to the present. "Are you going to buy shower curtains today?"
"Yeah?"
"But your shower curtains were fine the last time I came home." You understand Jisung's surprise because the last time he did come home was five days back and the shower curtain was in a perfect condition. "What happened?"
You stretch your arms and point at Minho. The very culprit rolls his eyes before raising his eyebrows and sighing, voicing in the most dramatic voice you have ever heard Minho take, "Yes, Y/N. Yes, Ji. It's me. I tore the shower curtain because I fell in the shower."
"Ouch," Jisung acknowledges Minho's injury before walking past the two of you and taking a shower curtain. "Here's one. You might like this, Y/N."
"It's not PVC, Sungie."
Jisung wants to hit your head, terribly. Perhaps it's your adamance that is the reason as to why your friendship is this tight and strong but in moments like these, he likes Minho more. Minho stands by the side, arms folded and back resting against the wall as he trusts your judgement.
"Are you not going to tell her anything?"
"She handles all this at home. Give her what she wants, Ji," he laughs, fiddling with a few more shower curtains by his side. Jisung shakes his head in disappointment before mumbling, a soft frustrated groan leaving his lips as he throws his head back, "Definitely a married couple," and takes a few polyvinyl chloride made shower curtains. 
"Here," he presses his lips. "Don't blame me if the designs aren't that great. You don't get that many good designs in PVC. People go for polythene because it's more available."
"PVC doesn't tear and it's easy to clean!"
"Seconding this as a chemical engineering student," Minho chirps in from behind. You and Jisung turn to look at the man who is on his phone currently and shake your head lightly. "What?"
"He remembers his major now!" Jisung clicks his tongue. "All say, praise the Lord."
"I'm agnostic." You frown.
"More reasons for you to say it easily!"
You find a plain one in the ones he showed you and you take it. Jisung smiles finally, mumbling, "You're a frustrating customer."
"Nah," you scoff. Minho pushes himself off the wall as soon as he sees you done with the selection. "I just know what I want exactly. You, on the other hand, sweetheart," you poke his chest and Jisung chuckles. "You're a pathetic salesperson."
"Of course," he laughs the insult away. "I'm a literature student. I should be working in a publishing company as a part timer."
Minho takes the shower curtain from your hand and puts it in the cart by the side. He comes back, throwing his arm over Jisung's shoulder and frowns, "Apparently publishing companies care a lot more about who your parents are than your resume."
"It's just that publishing company," the other male looks down. "I'll try applying for another one soon."
"Do you want to grab a drink at our place tonight?"
"Can I?"
"Sure," Minho agrees. He drops his arm from Jisung's shoulder and holds the cart handle back, pushing it forward slightly. You take big strides to stand by Minho's side, also holding the handle slightly. Jisung raises his eyebrows at the two of you and with a smile that you don't think twice about, Jisung laughs.
"I'm coming over tonight."
"Sure," you throw your thumbs up at him, stretching your arm. Minho smiles softly at you, his eyes lingering a little longer at your happy figure and he feels his heart beat a little quicker at your sight. Your hair strands framing your face so beautifully, eyes shining the minute you find the exact thing you've had in your mind and your lips curving upwards in joy. 
Lee Minho finds the calmness that spring brings him every year in him all over again with you by his side.
"Bring the soju. Beer is on us!"
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Jisung: binnie, binnie!! Changbin: yes, baby? Jisung: i think i have a plan. Changbin: let them be, babe. Jisung: we let them be all these years! they pinned after each other without even knowing and we had to see that painfully! Changbin: i guess you make a valid point there Jisung: is it going to rain today? Changbin: it's been raining for the last few days, sungie. it could. just because i study geography as my minor doesn't mean i can forecast weather. hey! Jisung: fine~ i'm going to get them to confess tonight 👀 Changbin: don't mess up. istg Jisung: trust me 🥺 Changbin: i do. more than ever ❤️
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Jisung reaches your doorstep at sharp nine. With two bottles of soju in his hands, you see the stains of the droplets of rain falling onto his shoulder. 
It is drizzling for now and you worry if it is to rain heavily in a few minutes as the forecast mentioned. You hate the thunder. You hate how the weather changes drastically and worsens to a point that it frightens you and makes you anxious. It's a phobia you have managed to hide from everyone for fears of being treated weaker.
Jisung makes himself at home. He always has. He places the soju bottles on the kitchen countertop and Minho smiles to himself as he walks towards the point where Jisung has happily seated himself. Minho and you are on the other end of the counter while Jisung sits on the adjustable chair, swirling in it before stopping and facing you, Minho and the bottles of soju before him.
"Did it finally hit him?"
"I think?" You whisper back.
"I'm right here!" Jisung yells and you smile. Minho pulls the chair from under the counter and sits himself opposite the other male, pressing his lips together and trying to not laugh. He opens the bottle of soju after shaking it and hitting it against his elbow for a while. It clinks open, the metal hitting the glass before falling onto the table and you watch the two, as Minho pours a drink for Jisung.
He downs it in one go, letting out a loud sigh before stretching his arms and demanding a second one.
"Go easy, Sungie. You have the whole night."
"I don't," he huffs. "Now, please."
Minho pours it again before looking at you and you shake your head to indicate that you wouldn't mind a few. You grab hold of one of the empty cups on the counter before stretching your arm too. Minho laughs – a soft chuckle, so airy and light that you find yourself holding your breath for a small second there – and he pours you your drink. 
You twirl your drink, watching the liquid glide against the surface of the cup. Your best friend gets up and walks a little into the kitchen to open the fridge and grab a box of leftovers of fried chicken that you bought a few days ago. He pulls open the microwave to heat it and as he waits, he turns to look back at Jisung and asks him finally.
"Do you want me to drop a word to my uncle?"
"About?"
"He heads the Cheongsam Publication," Minho reveelas, pulling out the chicken from the microwave. He places it before the two of you and almost like you and Jisung were zoomed in, in an American sitcom, both of you gasp dramatically.
"Am I really your best friend?" Jisung yells and you narrow your eyes at Minho. Faking tears in his eyes, he persists in questioning,  "Do I not matter to you, Minho?"
"Why are you rooming with me when you could possibly afford a whole room on your own?"
"Yes, Jisung," Minho sighs and sits back on his chair. You bend forward, arms folded against the table as you stare at your best friend in betrayal. "Also, Y/N, don't you love having me around?"
He laughs and rests his head on your shoulder suddenly, causing you to stiffen them in response. Your eyes drift to the left, trying to not make it overtly obvious that Minho's sudden reaction has taken you by surprise. Your eyes land forward on Jisung who looks at you as if he knew this all along, as if he wanted exactly this. The man has a goddamn smirk plastered on his face.
Jisung downs two more shots and you look at him with a raised eyebrow, mumbling, "Slow the fuck down. No one's chasing you."
"Yeah, my goddamn plan," he mumbles before coughing and taking another. Minho sits up straight, finally lifting his head from your shoulder. He stretches his arm to pat Jisung's shoulder in comfort.
"I'll drop a word."
"Now, don't you dare go and say that you want to earn it and all that bullshit," you sigh. "It's the fucking Republic Of Korea. Nepotism is the norm."
"Not planning on saying that," Jisung glares at you. Clearly, Jisung is slightly tipsy, having been the only person to keep drinking. You and Minho opt to just watch over Jisung for the night. Your best friend puckers his lips in Minho's direction and blowing kisses, he says, "I love you, Minho."
"Changbin wouldn't like you saying that to another man though," you scoff and Jisung flips you the middle finger before downing one more and standing up. The thunder rattles the three of you exactly then and you grip the table, face turning pale instantly. Minho's attention darts to you quickly in concern.
"You okay?" You hum in response, unconvincingly though to Minho whose gaze lingers on you in worry for just a while more. That is, till Jisung rips it away by dramatically placing the back of his hand on his forehead and playing the damsel in distress as he gasps so loudly, staring at the big window.
"It's raining heavily," he sighs and you shudder, afraid of another thunderstorm as you grip tightly on the side of the table.
"So?" Minho asks, both eyebrows raised at the man before him, looking at the two of you with doe eyes.
"I'm staying over, thanks," he rushes and runs to your bedroom, quickly shutting the door and latching it and you and Minho stare at each other. As soon as the realisation of what could happen dawns over you, you rush to your closed bedroom, fists banging against the wooden door.
"Yah, Han Jisung," you turn to look at Minho who watches you in amusement. "Open the fucking door."
"No. I don't want to go back home in the rain. You and Minho can share the bed. I am never opening the door. Good night."
"What the fuck? Yah, Sungie, stop acting like a child. Open the door now." You hear no response. "Sungie? Answer me. Open the door please." Minho walks over to you, and tries knocking too, in vain however because Jisung has no plans to open the door.
You look at Minho, the man slightly towering you as he stands by your side and you gasp. You had to share the bed with the same man you just realised you could, perhaps, have developed feelings for?
"Fuck."
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Jisung: it finally seems to be working, binnie! luck's on my side this time. Changbin: oh baby. just please don't be disappointed if it doesn't work out this time either. Jisung: i won't be because it's definitely going to work out. eeeee! i'm so excited! 
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Another thunderstorm ripples through the air.
Your heart beats quicker in anxiety, eyes squeezing shut as you grip tightly on the pillow, a light whimper leaving your lips. You feel the mattress shuffling underneath you and in the next minute, your ears are covered by Minho's hands. You stiffen as he edges closer to you, his chin resting on your shoulder as his palm pressed against your pinna, covering your ear completely to protect you from the loud sounds of the thunder.
"Minho, what—"
His hand on your right ear slightly shifts to the side as he bends forward to whisper into your ear, to amplify the sounds enough as a way to distract you.
"You never ever told me you were scared of thunderstorms."
Lee Minho is way too close to you to think straight. You feel his body pressed against your back, heat radiating from him to you through your oversized hoodie. His breath is harsh against your skin as he leans close to whisper into your ear. And all this in an attempt to forget the thunderstorm.
So far, it's working like magic. 
Your voice is almost small when you inform him, "We never happened to be in the same place during one," and Minho swears to God, he could lose it completely. All the self control to not confess and take you there is so ready to be shoved out of the window that all he can do is try and focus on worrying about your fears.
"I'll protect you," he mumbles so softly that you turn around to look at him. His eyes are bright in the soft lights in his room and as he lies by your side, so close that you can hear his heart that beats faster and his breath that is shallow, your lips part and you watch him.
You are fully justified for falling in love with this man. 
A man that tells you he'd protect you from your fears, god alone knows how, but the fact that they don't seem like empty words. A man that you know like the back of your hand and the same man that seems to have protected you all throughout your life, even if you have done the same. It was inevitable. Falling for Lee Minho is inevitable.
And that's why you kiss him. Because you're in love with him so badly that all you can zero in is him, him, him.
Your lips press against his, so softly for a split second. As if you are unsure. As if you know you could be ruining years of friendship over something the two of you could consider a mistake. 
You kiss him and suddenly it's the only thing that matters to you right now. Him, him, him. Your lips are slow and soft against him. It is almost as if you are reminding yourself that there has been nothing more morbidly right than this. To fall in love with your best friend. Minho's hand slowly lifts up to rest below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your breath mingles only for a split second — one filled with hesitance and uncertainty — before you pull away, looking at your best friend.
It is just a second of a kiss and with Minho so stiff by your side, you panic, and ramble. "I'm sorry. I should have thought it could be unrequited. I like you and I should have asked—”
Minho crashes his lips on yours, so quickly that it takes your breath away and cuts your sentence in half, but you don't care. He pulls you towards him, hands cupping your face tightly and angling it to kiss you, encasing your lower lips in his as he moves against your pink ones. You let out a small gasp as you deepen the kiss, running your fingers down his spine, holding him as close as possible until there is no space left between the two of you. It is just you and him in this small room. Just you and him in focus. You can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. Loud, clear and unknown to you that it beats for you in this minute. That it has always been beating for you.
Minho presses his tongue to the seam of your lips and, the minute you let him in, he delves inside your mouth, tongue chasing after yours. Minho kisses you like he has finally achieved the greatest thing ever and he never wants to let it go. Minho kisses like he loves you and you feel it. You feel every ounce of it.
Your arms move up his back and tangle around his thick, strong neck. Playing with the ends of his roots, you suck on his lower lips before he pulls away and finally tells you, "I've always been in love with you, Y/N. Always."
Kissing you again, his thumb digs into the skin by your jaw as he delves deeper, as if he never wants to let you go. The air in the room heats up when your hand moves under his shirt, feeling his muscles under your skin and you moan against his lips. Minho lets go of your lips only to kiss the side of it and then your cheeks and then your jugular before he is littering kisses all over your neck. You moan explicitly, gripping on him and slightly grinding on his thigh. You feel your core heating up, arousal sticking to your panties and all you can think is,
“I want you.”
Minho swears to God that he has always loved confident women but when you shattered right before him and built your confidence right back up — that is the hottest thing he swears he has seen. That, and the fact that you had always been hot before his eyes.
“Really?” Minho lifts himself up and hovers on top of you.
“Really,” you decide to respond before you cup his face and pull his face closer to yours. You don't pull him in for a kiss just yet. Your eyes zero on him, trying to cancel out the loud thunderstorms in the background and just focus on the man before you that you love, that you've been in love unknowingly for a while. 
You just hold his face and learn. You try to remember every single detail of his face that you never focussed on before.
You realise over again that his eyes are your favourite thing. They are black as charcoal and yet still shimmer as if stars are trapped and enclosed beneath them. And when he narrows them to look at you with a daze, your heart throbs and you gulp. They make your heart hurt whenever they fix on you.
You know his skin is soft as you touch. As creamy and velvety as they are, you can't stop touching him. 
His mouth is a pretty shade of coral, plump and pouty and honestly so kissable it hurts to look at it for more than a few seconds. You wonder how you haven't driven yourself to kiss him yet. All these years.
Everything about his face is soft and delicate, that is till he turns a little to the side and angles it perfectly, his head backward and you can clearly see the sharpness of his jawline; the distinct manly cut that makes your mouth dry and your heart beat faster. 
“You are perfect,” you gulp, your eyes back on him and Minho smiles widely. His warm breath caresses your face and his forehead is pressed against yours immediately.
“You know what else is perfect, baby?”
“No,” your voice is airy, even though you already know what he is going to say. You know it and yet the thought causes your heart to skip a bit, and flutter a lot in your chest.
“You and everything you have to offer. You are not average. You are one of the most perfect women I've seen in my whole life, Y/N,” he says. As soon as the words spill from his mouth, your lips are on his, claiming his mouth, the same ones that whispered into your ear that there is nothing to be afraid when he's right there by your side.
He gasps loudly as your hands leave his face and move to his hair to pull him down towards you — you need him so close to you. Your fingers get lost in his thick locks as you tug on them, forcing him to bend a lot forward and gladly welcome the intrusion of your tongue.
His lips are as soft as feathers and they feel like what you think heaven feels like. The warmth you experience is so much more than the tingle of first kisses and those innocent butterflies have nothing on the wanting void of a pit in your nether regions and the slick in between your thighs. 
His hands slide down from your hips to reach behind your back and pull you upwards, only to tightly clasp around the curve of your bottom cheeks.
“Minho,” you groan against his lips after he pulls away from you. His lips are red and swollen, slick and shining with your saliva and so incredibly inviting you all over again and you fear that you may never want to stop kissing him for as long as you are breathing. You fear getting too addicted to this human – more than you already are – to a point where you need to be attached to him by the hip, to never let go of him.
Minho's lips move from your swollen lips to the curve of your jaw, down to the curved edges of your neck, sucking and kissing every exposed skin. 
His hand moves from your clothed arse to under your hoodie, hand pressed against your back as he pulls you closer and forwards, until your chests are pressed against one another. His mouth is everywhere and god, you feel infinite and powerful.
His lips hover on yours. He smiles widely and you think it's cute. He inches his chin forward, flicking your nose a little with his own, a shy smile on his lips as he silently asks the permission to claim your lips anew; all over again.
You nod your head to signal yes. You hold your breath and your eyes flutter shut, awaiting him and his warmth.
Minho's kiss is slow and delicate at first. It is drawn out in a way that makes you want more, so much more, that you want to pull him in and suck the life out of him and yet, at the same time, it is precious and laced with not only the passion of the moment but also the tenderness of a first time together.
It makes your insides twitch and your heart lunge and it fogs up all of your thoughts to the point you feel yourself drowning in the sensation of his lips, pressed tightly on your own. 
Your heart is beating quicker than ever in your chest, against your ribs, and you pull him even closer, so tight your chests have no choice but to heave against each other with every single breath you take. You don’t want to let him go, not now, not tomorrow, not ever.
Minho is something you desperately want to hold onto in your life. He knows your secrets, your everything. He knows what you like and how you like it. He seems to know everything and the thought of letting him go aches your heart and constraints your throat with a sob you wouldn't dare to let out. You want him to be completely yours.
And these thoughts turn you desperate. They force you to make the kiss deeper, to lick his lips and bite them down, to gulp down every sigh and whimper that comes out of him and make them your own. To make him yours.
Your eyes flutter shut, taking in the way his mouth moves over yours, arching further into him. You groan into his mouth and his grip on your back tightens instantly.
“I want you so much, Minho,” you whimper against him after your lips part from his. You lick your lips and gaze at him with your partially closed eyes. “So fucking much.”
“Then, have me. Take me,” Minho purrs against your exposed skin. In a minute, he pulls the oversized hoodie over you, leaving you in just your undergarments as he discards it to the side. His mouth moves over the skin above your breasts and his hand traces the bra you are wearing. He gazes at it and mumbles before latching his mouth back on your skin, “You are so fucking beautiful. Always have been.”
You gleam in pride and your body arches at the contact of his mouth on your skin. Your hands are on the side of his face as you pull him away.
“Can I?”
“Have me? Yes. Completely,” he smiles. He wonders if you are confident. That's all that he hopes when you look at him so unsure and so doubtingly. 
You wet your lips again quickly, your breath coming out in hot puffs of air. Your hands immediately rush to his top, roughly pushing it above. Minho helps you out and pulls it completely away. You are blinded by the passion burning inside of you, your hands eager to explore and touch every expanse of his glowing skin. You want to touch, feel, have a complete experience. You want Minho to remind you of everything you are missing out on.
Your lips attack his neck in a hurry, all rough and passionate on his tender, soft skin, blooming red roses that turn purple against it. You repeat your actions till he’s softly moaning out your name, almost purring them out that you feel yourself becoming slicker. His hands on your back pull you closer and into him so that you won’t stop tainting his flesh and slowly, his soul, in the best ways possible.
Minho whines and sighs and grunts for you. He doesn't hold himself back as his lips leave appreciation for who you are. He closes his eyes as he parts his lips to whimper out your name with every new thing you find that excites him and it drives you absolutely insane. 
You know you should not but you can’t stop wondering how he would sound like as you fuck him hard, rock on his cock to milk his orgasm, make him beg not to stop. You desperately want to break him and draw all these nice sounds out of him, but you know it would most probably be the other way round. Minho allows you to take control occasionally but you know he wants the lead. He wants to be the one to break you apart and pull you back together. 
He pulls back from you, his hands leaving your back and resting on either of your sides. Minho's dark hair brushes over his crescent lidded eyes and nearly shields the hungry, desperate gaze of them. His hand plays with the strap of your panties as his gaze flickers between affection and lust. He cocks his head to the side before asking, “You do want this, right?”
You nod, hoping it would be enough and that he would resume.
“I need to hear you say it out loud, baby,” he firmly says and you gulp.
“Yes, yes. Minho, fuck, I want this. I need this,” you whine, your eyes glassy, as you grip his forearm to lift yourself up and grate and move against the evident bulge on his jeans. 
Minho merely needs that verbal confirmation. He pulls away your panties, resting on your hips and you groan. Still hovering above you and his hands over your pubic mound, his fingers trail lower and you tug at your lower lip in anticipation. Easily, he finds your clit, and begins to rub in slow, languid, lazy motion, up and down, waiting for the moan he so loves to hear from you to spill from your mouth. He grins when he hears those little whimpers and you feel your legs lose mobility from the pleasure he brings you with just a flick of his finger. 
Your back slightly arches off the soft mattress upon the bed when his finger leaves your clit to draw a line up your wet slit, collecting as much of your arousal as he can before slipping his glistening fingers out to admire them in the light. Your cheeks taint pink in embarrassment.
“Fuck,” Minho moans, taking his coated finger into his mouth to suck your juices from it. His eyes flutter shut as if he’s tasting the sweetest aphrodisiac ever known and your lips part at this sight. Lee Minho looks irresistible and you want him, completely.
“God,” he groans. Minho slides himself down your body until he’s in level with your pussy. His eyes gazed at it in sheer adoration and your hand slapped against your mouth. He takes two fingers to spread your lips apart for a better view. “You’re dripping, baby girl.”
You wail as he drags a finger up and down your slit, playfully teasing your fold, making you whine his name out loud. The way you plead for him, beg for him, grind down on his teasing fingers, all set a fire inside you. This has been what you had been craving for so long. The ability of this man to cloud your thoughts and set your body on fire makes you yearn for him even more.
“Minho,” you cry out, whimpering underneath him. “Fingers. I need you. Please, Minho.”
You gasp, your voice airy, when the tip of his finger tentatively slips into you while your fingers dig at his shoulders between your thighs. “Minho, I want you. I just really want you. I need to feel you. Please.”
He drags his finger out of you before you clutch onto him, feeling the need to be overwhelmed. He presses his thumb on your clit and a whimper leaves your mouth. 
“Minho.” And he slides his digit in again almost as if on cue. He pumps his finger in and out of you as his thumb harshly rubs circles on your clit. Your hand leaves your mouth and grabs your hair as the other digs further into his shoulder. 
His mouth leaves hot air against the skin covering your acetabulum and you shudder. His lips graze from there till your thigh before biting on them, sucking them deliriously and leaving you as a whimpering mess.
“Minho, fuck!” You scream, your fingers grabbing your hair to hold control of your body. 
“That's it, baby,” he says against the skin of your thighs. “How I've wanted those beautiful lips to scream out my name from when I've felt them.”
Minho adds another finger and your eyes are screwed shut as he curls them within you and you gasp at the feeling of being widened. You are elated and you feel your arousal leaking down your thighs. He rubs your inside and your clitoris faster and you push your hips towards him, moving with his pace. Minho is also leaving beautiful purple marks in a trail on your thigh and you gape in awe.
You find it all too much. Your emotions are all over the place and your hormones rise up. The movement of his fingers inside you and around your clit, his lips attacking your erogenous spots, kissing, biting and licking short stripes on them. It finally gets to you and you scream his name out in pleasure. Your first orgasm comes crashing down upon you, blinding you. You release all over his fingers and Minho helps you ride out your high as he drags his finger repeatedly but this time, slower than what had been. 
Your head lifts up and hits the pillow slightly as it tilts away. Minho moves upwards, hovering over your face and smiles. You smile back. You are so happy and you do not know how to put it into words.
“Minho?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks?”
“For what?” He looks at you quizzically. 
“That was my first orgasm in months now that wasn't brought about by my own fingers,” you smile wearily and Minho leans forwards and kisses your forehead.
"Should have come to me," he laughs.
"Didn't know if I'd be ruining our friendship."
"Pfft," he scoffs, before kissing you again, his lips gliding against yours and piecing in as if they were always meant to be against yours. "I've been in love with you forever."
"Took me a while to know my own feelings," you mumbles. “Also,” you continue, hoping he listens to your request. “Can I . . . ride you?”
Minho is stunned. There are so many things about you that stuns him and maybe it's the way you try to take control that make you look so much hotter before his eyes. 
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” you plead. “If that is not a bother to you.”
“Why would it? Your wish is my command, but only for this night. Next time, my love, we do this my way,” he teases and winks and your core throbs at his words.
Minho pulls himself away from your body, pulling his shirt over his head and his denim down and away. As he flings his clothes aside and relaxes against the mattress, his cock springs free against his stomach, leaking with milky precum. You sit up beside the space Minho has taken over and watch him and his cock deliriously and lustfully.
You sit up, crawling over to straddle his lap, nervousness setting into your stomach. You’re really doing this. You gulp and swallow the saliva as you look at Minho, whose gaze gives you comfort and confidence. The muscles in your arm stiffens as you grip his shoulder for stability and Minho notices.
“It’s okay,” he reassures you, sensing your reluctance and worry. He pushes back the stray hair falling over your eyes. “You're doing wonderful, babygirl. You are finally all mine. What a pretty girl and all to myself now."
You nod, biting down on your lower lip, and tugging at it harshly, cheeks heating up at his words, arousal gushing out as you look down before aligning with his cock. You want this. You needed this release.
As your folds, dripping with thick, sticky arousal, brush the tip of his hardened cock, you feel a shudder run down your spine. You instinctively allow yourself to lower further, taking the rest of him in you swiftly with the help of your arousal. Sinking down around his dick and feeling him fully wrapped around your clutching walls has you moaning out his name, gasping and panting for air, “Fuck, Minho.”
You rock your hips into him, trying this as you picture it to be, already finding yourself tightening and clenching around his thick length. He fills you up so nicely, stuffing you perfectly full and you salivate. Your lips parts and you find your hips moving on their own accord.
As much as Minho wants to give you complete power over this, it isn't like him and he wishes he could be better. Minho takes your hips in his hands, taking control of your movements to raise you up, leaving you empty and whining. You clench around nothing but air and your own walls, desperate to sink back down. “Minho,” you whine, your lower lip puckers forwards and you feel sad.
As his hand grip around your hips to get a better hold, he slams you back down on his cock, hard, causing you to scream. “Minho, ah!”
He continuously guides you in a rhythmic movement, throwing his head back into his pillows and groaning. You are glad he is helping you out because you know you could not have done it on your own after having just ridden out your high.
The sheen of sweat glistening on his chest catches your eye as he pants. The way his eyes clenched shut and his mouth hangs open with pleasure only makes you move faster around his cock. The sight before you makes you want to see him fucked out further. You want him to crumble under you because of you. 
You ride him, bouncing on his dick and clenching when you feel yourself reaching your climax for the second time that night. Minho’s finger moves down and slips between your sweat soaked bodies to rub your clit, pushing you even further over the edge. Minho knows how to make a woman putty in his hands and you are a living witness of this.
“Are you going to come?” He asks, breathlessly, his voice airy and light, almost floating away. He pulls his head forward to kiss your collarbones, sucking harsh bruises against your skin, continuing further down the existing purple bruises.
“Y-Yes,” you sigh, lacing your fingers through his hair and tugging on the dark strands. “Mhm, fuck, you feel so good, Minho.” You lean forward and the motion causes Minho to whine. You quickly catch it as your lips fall on his. His lips enclose yours and he kisses you slowly and passionately as you move on his cock, lazily.
Words, unfiltered and raw, spill out from your mouth after your lips leave his as you feel the high that is creeping up slowly within you. “Minho, fuck. Oh fuck, you feel so good.”
“Then, come.”
Minho moans against your neck as he feels you, his finger rubbing your clit, “Babygirl, oh fuck. Come all over my cock.”
Minho’s other hand that is not occupied leaves your hip and moves upwards to find their place on your neck. His fingers gently wrap themselves around your neck and his eyes flicker a mischief that makes you wetter than you already are. He presses his fingers against your neck with pressure and you choke. Your mouth opens wide and your tongue falls out slightly resting on your lower lip. Your eyes roll back and your walls clench around Minho’s cock tightly.
Minho learns that your dirty liking for choking is incredibly hot. Seeing you like this is what he knows would get him to come when you are not around. Your fucked out expression as you gasp for air makes Minho plunge into you harder and you choke harder.
A final flick of his finger over your sensitive button and a bit more pressure over your neck are all it takes for your body to flood with pleasure and ecstasy. Your legs tighten around Minho's waist, curling in as you ride out your high for as long as possible, still moving your hips against him. His fingers let go of your neck and you breath loudly, taking in huge gulps of air.
Not long after your undoing, he comes inside you, coating your walls with his seed as you feel his length pulsate within you.
Once your body falls limp against his chest, equally fucked out and panting for air, you feel him going soft inside you. He lifts you up, slowly slipping out of you and gently laying you by his side. His fingers rub small circles on your hips after pulling you closer into him. 
“Hey,” you say and smile. 
Minho kisses your forehead and then, the peak of your nose, and finally, kisses your lips, softly. It isn't lustful or anything. Just plain passion seeping from him to you. You feel his admiration and an emotion you fear to mistake for love. He pulls away and smiles, “Hey, beautiful.”
He comes closer and licks the side of your neck, where he had wrapped his fingers out. The one fantasy that you are so in love with. He peppers soft kisses around it and mumbles an apology. 
“No,” you quickly stop him. “That was everything. I— I really like you." Pausing, the thought crashes your head, post your high and you mumble, "Fuck, I fell in love with my best friend." 
You nuzzle into his chest after he pulls back, your arms wrapping around his body as you calm yourself. Minho chuckles into your ear, "Yes, yes. You clearly did. What do we do now?"
"Take responsibility." You mumble as you slowly find yourself feeling sleepy. Your eyes are slowly drooping and your voice lowers in tone, words drifting away almost, “You better take responsibility for my feelings and take care of me.”
“It'd truly be my honour,” Minho mumbles, lifting you slowly to push his one arm beneath your neck. He uses the other hand to push your hair away from your face. Kissing your forehead, lips lingering for a while, he smiles to himself, laughing slightly as he asks you, "Was the schlong good?”
You laugh softly, snuggling into his chest, fist against it as you try to fall asleep, thunderstorms long forgotten. Kissing his chest, you giggle, "Best ever schlong I have ever had, baby. All mine to keep now."
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Jisung: can you pick me up? Changbin: this late? Jisung: i just wanted them to confess. not fuck like bunnies. useless fact i learnt today: they are both loud in bed. Changbin: i'm laughing off the bed literally!!! also!!! Jisung: yeah? Changbin: and they were roommates! Jisung: god, they were roommates. 🙄❤️
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4K notes · View notes
pesiko · 5 months ago
Text
LEE KNOW ONESHOT RECS
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The Enemies to Lovers Project - dating your enemy [18k]
Youngblood - he crashes at your apartment 24/7 [17.4k]
Countless Skies Upon Me - the skilled swordsman [16.5k]
Haven - sometimes a real family isn’t just blood M [16k]
Too Early But Not Enough - grim reaper Minho [11.6k]
Love Equation - minho’s ideas are dangerous [11.5k]
And They Were Roommates - torn shower curtains M [11k]
How to Win Over the Ice Prince - annual Xmas party [10.3k]
Dawn - like everyone has their own guardian angel [10k]
Between the Lines - late fees and a missing love letter [9.7k]
Give it a Chance - a party and something to tell you [9.6k]
Felines over Flowers - feeding the alley cats [8.5k]
Kisses - his kisses evolve and so does the relationship [8k]
Misfits - there’s no hope for people like you [7.6k]
Playing with Fire - descendants of the sun AU [7k]
Aria of an Assassin - hasn’t been fazed in yrs til now [6.2k]
All I Want for Christmas - driving with enemy Minho [5.4k]
Big Brother - he doesn’t know why ur acting like that [5.4k]
All on Me - the star soccer player is interested in you [4.5k]
Soonie, Doongie, Dori, and John - stealing a fish [4.4k]
Who Are You - a college dropout and a detective [4.3k]
Strawberries - an impulsive trip to the tattoo parlor [4.3k]
What if We - ur nonsense abt not having a roommate [4.1k]
Home Run - the four times you ask him to the formal [3.8k]
7 Days - confessing but he doesn’t take it seriously [3.7k]
Wounds - you always knew he was your soulmate [3.7k]
Dance with Your Neighbor - him dancing to Usher [3.6k]
Something’s Gotta Give - can’t stand Jisung’s friend [3.4k]
Pawprints - no pets allowed in the student dorms [3.4k]
Black Magic - you knew a love potion was risky [3.3k]
Sign of the Times - apocalypse, everything was fine [3.2k]
Nude - didn’t expect to draw a nude model so soon [2.9k]
Rewrite the Stars - “see you next week, lover boy” [2.8k]
I’ll Be Here, Always and Forever - even at ass o clock [2.7k]
Even a Fool Knows - I might fall apart by myself [2.6k]
Paws Off - “it’s not mine, I swear” [2.5k]
Of Ramen and Duck Slippers - keep running into him [2.4k]
Be Okay - 2 kids knowing nothing abt the real world [2.4k]
Ready or Not - the new addition looked familiar [2.2k]
Somewhere Like This - after being cheated on [1.9k]
The Morning After - hooking up w campus fuckboy [1.5k]
More Than Anything - “cute but gross” [1.4k]
The Anatomy of Loving You - a beard of bubbles [1.3k]
The Things I Do With You - he wasn’t feeling the best [1.2k]
The Aid of a Body Pillow - Minho isn’t a cuddly sleeper [1.1k]
Club Light - platonic, mafia leader Minho asks you [1.1k]
Dance First, Think Later - choreographing with him [1k]
Coffee, First - “because you’re too slow” [1k]
Teddy Bear
A Marriage Story & Part 2
❥ LEE KNOW NAVI
[main masterlist] [stray kids masterlist] updated 7-31-21
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k-rising · 26 days ago
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Minho as boyfriend
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Romantic aspects
PASSIONATE AF
minho can give too much of himself to his partner
wants a deep connection with someone
his feelings are i n t e n s e
will test your feelings towards him
teases you A LOT
likes playing hard to get, even if you're already in a relationship with him lol
he doesn’t want a short or time-wasting relationship
even though he wants a deeper connection, he doesn't want a relationship that will suffocate him in some way
VERY JEALOUS !!!
you’re ALL his or nothing at all
I also get the feeling that he likes being in control of the relationship
minho is the type of boyfriend that will protect you at all cost
if someone flirts with you, bro... that person better RUN
a very funny and playful boyfriend
he will always try to experience something new with you
dates with him will always variate. one day both of you are watching some movies at home and the next one you're doing hiking lol
whenever you're feeling down, minho will be there to lift your mood up
he's always so positive and wants everything to be exciting and fun
minho will always leave a good impression to your loved ones
When he gets angry
minho can be very dramatic and extremist when he's angry
his emotions lead him
he can struggle a lot with self control
he represses his anger
he's the type of people that ignores the red flags about you and the relationship in general... and then he explodes
minho can also be very fixated on his opinions/views... he can manipulate you as well
fears rejection
he can also get very impulsive and impatient when angry
when he's at his worst, he can get quite aggressive
minho fears being seen as weak, so he will never let anyone walk over him
if you ever let him doubt about your commitment and loyalty... he will take revenge AND will forget about your existence
Sexy aspects
his physical commitment to a lover is directly linked to emotional commitment
very respectful about his partner likes and dislikes
again... a TEASE
handcuffs and ropes !!
hickeys
EYE CONTACT
consistent
voyeurism !!
power play
slavery themes
gets turn on when his partner appreciates everything he does
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soleilsuhh · 2 months ago
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stray kids imagines 𖥧 ° .* holding hands <3
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[ ‎܀ ] - chan holds your hand to comfort you. his touch is gentle and warm, a light squeeze as he listens to you, a steady clasp as he watches you breathe in and out, his thumb running over your knuckles. he doesn’t say a word; he’s simply there, holding your hand in his; a quiet reminder that no, you’re not alone and a soft promise that yes, it’s all going to be okay.
[ ‎܀ ] - minho holds your hand gently yet firmly while you balance and walk on a small wall. you ask what if i fall? and he replies without missing a beat, his voice light, i’ll catch you. and when your gazes meet, there’s an unwavering look in his eyes and you believe him. of course he’ll catch you. he always does. he always have.
[ ‎܀ ] - changbin reaches out and grabs your hand to pull you back to him. your back hits against his chest and he doesn’t let go of your hand, entrapping you in a back-hug and he presses a million kisses on your cheek, ear, temple until you’re a giggling mess in his tight embrace.
[ ‎܀ ] - you and hyunjin hold hands because you don’t want to lose each other in the crowd. he intertwines his fingers with yours in a secure hold, letting go only when there’s an obstacle in the way and your hands immediately finding their way to each other’s afterwards.
[ ‎܀ ] - jisung holds your hand just to play with it. sometimes he’d use his finger to write naughty words on the back of your hand and he tells you to guess what he wrote, a lazy half-grin on his face, a playful glint in his eyes. and when you get it correct, he lets out a gleeful little laugh as he nods and presses a kiss on your palm.
[ ‎܀ ] - felix holds your hand above your head, lacing your fingers together, while the two of lazily make out on bed, except it’s more of an easygoing conversation about everything and nothing, lips hovering over lips, over skin; your hushed voices filling the room, accompanied by occasional laughter and chuckles between languid kisses.
[ ‎܀ ] - seungmin holds your hand out of habit. it’s an absentminded gesture — at first, anyway; you’re deep in conversation and as he listens to you, he casually rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, fingers tracing the outline and the crevices between each finger before they intentionally glide along your palm. a smile forms on his face as a brief laughter escapes your lips. he knows it tickles and that’s precisely why he does it again.
[ ‎܀ ] - jeongin holds your hand under the table at dinner with family. it’s discreet and sweet and innocent; and it’s all silent stolen gazes and quirked lips as his fingers brush over the skin of your thigh while his hand lays flat on the back of yours. it lingers there for a moment before he gives you a little squeeze, promising more for later.
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hanqu0kka · 18 days ago
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Safe Place
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Pairing: Lee Minho x F!reader
Genre: Fluff, a little bit angst
Summary: You woke up scared after having a nightmare, but Minho always knows what to do to make you feel better.
Warning: some swearing, mention of anxiety
Words: 1.400
Author's Note: Hey, how you guys doing? This is something I wrote in the middle of the night ‘cause I couldn't sleep. I hope you like it! English is not my first language so I’m sorry for any grammar errors. Let me know what you think!
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You woke up scared again. Your heart pounded in your chest, your ragged breath filled the quiet room, echoing creepily in the dark.
Calm down, it was just a dream, you repeated to yourself like a mantra trying your best to regain control of your body. However, as much as you tried to convince your brain that everything was fine, nothing seemed to work.
The choking sensation constricted your throat with invisible hands, making something so natural as breathing becomes the biggest challenge in the world. The air that you managed to get into your lungs made your chest burn. It was as if you were inhaling toxic gas instead of oxygen.
With shaky hands, you wiped the thin sheen of sweat that covered your forehead.
You needed to breathe.
You looked at the balcony in your room, noticing that it was pouring outside. Without thinking, you got out of bed and walked towards the balcony door. Your legs were shaking so badly that it was a miracle you didn't fall face down on the ground.
The rain was freezing, but you couldn't care less about it. The thick drops hit your face giving you a comfortable sensation at that moment. The rain has always had this effect on you. It was like all that water could wash away all your sadness, leaving behind only a pleasant sense of relief.
For the first time in the last few minutes, you finally could breathe.
“What the hell are you doing?”
You were so startled that you almost slipped on the wet floor. Confused, you stare at Minho, who was standing in astonishment at the entrance of the balcony. He was looking at you as if a third eye had magically appeared right in the middle of your forehead.
With all the anxiety caused by the nightmare, you had totally forgotten your boyfriend had decided to spend the night in your apartment because, according to him, "your bed was more comfortable than his". In truth, he just missed you but was too stubborn and shy to admit it.
You weren't sure how long the two of you stood there, staring at each other as if you were in some kind of hypnosis.
If you weren't feeling so cold, you'd probably laugh at how ridiculous that situation was: on one side was Minho, still with a sleepy face, trying to process if what he was seeing was real; on the other, there's you, with your soaked pajamas and wet hair, with dark circles under your eyes earned after sleepless nights.
It was like a scene from a low-budget horror movie where the good guy froze upon meeting the possessed being instead of running for his life.
The cold wind made your body shiver, and that was enough to make Minho break out of that trance and run towards you.
"Are you crazy?" He said seriously, while dragging you into the room.
When the balcony door closed, the heat quickly engulfed your body, making the shivers lessen.
Minho was worried. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, like a fish out of water. He was trying to make some sense of what just happened, trying to find the right words to say and not make things worse.
Actually, he was mad. He knew he shouldn't, you probably had your reasons for doing what you did, but the fact that you went out in the rain when it was so fucking cold pissed him off. You could get seriously sick, for God's sake!
Then, afraid to say something that would make him regret it later, he decided to act.
Gently, he led you to the bathroom and turned on the hot shower, helping you out of your wet pajamas. He left a set of warm clothes on the bathroom counter and went to the kitchen. While you were in the shower, Minho prepared a big cup of hot chocolate, one of your favorite drinks.
When you finished drying your hair, you found Minho waiting on the bed with an expression that gave away how distressed he was.
"Here, take this." He said, handing you the cup of hot chocolate. You softly smiled when you smelled the faint scent of cinnamon.
After you finished, Minho placed the mug on the nightstand and pulled you to lie down beside him. Minho's strong arms wrapped firmly around your body as if he was afraid you'd disappear at any moment. You let out a long breath as you felt his fingers trace your waist, drawing random patterns.
"I'm fine." You whispered, breaking the silence that had settled. You felt guilty for worrying him so much.
"No, you're not." He whispered back. "Who in their right mind would go out in the rain at this hour? Do you want to be sick? That's not good for your health!”
"I know. I just needed to breathe.”
Minho sighed deeply, trying his best to stay calm. You could practically see the gears turning in his brain.
"Was it another nightmare?" He finally said. You nodded. "Why didn't you wake me? You know I don't care.”
“I was so startled that I forgot you were even here. I'm sorry."
“You don't need to apologize, silly, you've done nothing wrong. I just… I got so worried.” He whispered the last part, resting his lips on the top of your head.
"I'm so so sorry, Min. I..."
"Stop saying that. I already told you, you have nothing to be sorry for." He said, rolling his eyes. “I told you to dream with me, but you just don't listen. I doubt you'd have any nightmare having my cute little face in your dreams.”
"Oh my God, how can you be so cocky?" You hit his chest, making him laugh.
"What? It's the truth."
"I hate you." You said jokingly.
"I'm glad we're on the same page, honey."
Minho smirked when he saw the annoyance on your face. He suddenly leaned in, pressing his lips on yours in a slow and passionate kiss, saying more than any words could ever say.
"Next time, call me." He said, looking deeply into your eyes. “Even when I can't be here, call me anytime. You're not alone, kitten. I'm here to help you with whatever you need.”
A warm sensation engulfed your body from inside out, making your heart flutter in your chest. This affectionate and protective side of Minho always has this effect on you.
“And no more going out while it's raining, dumbass. If you want to get wet, go take a shower.” He pinched your cheek, trying his best to look angry, but you could clearly see a subtle smile on his lips." If you catch a cold, don't expect me to take care of you."
You gasped dramatically, bringing your hand to your chest.
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Yes, I would."
"You're so cruel."
"Nobody says to you go out in this rain, especially when it's fucking freezing outside." You rolled your eyes. “Come on now, it's time for you to sleep. And there's no point in frowning.”
In a very mature way, you stuck your tongue out at him.
You snuggle in his chest, getting more comfortable. But even feeling extremely tired, you couldn't even for a second close your eyes and relax.
"I don't wanna have another nightmare." You whispered softly. His heart dropped. He wished he could protect you from all the evil in the world.
"You won't. I'm here, you're safe with me." He said gently, lifting your chin. “Listen, I got a plan. I'll find you in your dreams, okay? I'll be there by your side, protecting you from all harm. Nothing will hurt you while I'm around.”
"You promise?"
“I promise with all my heart, kitten. Now go to sleep before the boogie man pulls your foot.”
“I'm not five anymore, Minho.” You laughed out loud.
"Shii, you need to rest." He put his finger over your lips in a sign of silence. "Go, go, close your eyes. We have a date in your dreams, so you better not keep me waiting."
Minho smiled when he saw you close your eyes with an adorable smile on your lips. A few minutes later, your breath got heavier, and he knew you had finally drifted off to sleep. Minho places a soft kiss on your forehead, putting you closer to him.
"I love you." He whispered before falling asleep.
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lvlychns · 2 months ago
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Right Here
Pairing: Lee Minho x gn!Reader
Summary: You’ve been having a rough time. Worried, Minho checks on you.
a/n: yes this is bc i’ve had a shit week let’s ignore that
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Tears streak down your face, tracing down the bridge of your nose and dropping into your lap. It was all too much. Just too much.
The sound of your front door unlocking makes you freeze in panic, and you sit rigidly still, not daring to make a sound. Your heart pounds in your ears, and you wish it would quiet down.
“Y/n?”
Your forehead furrows with confusion.
“Min?” you call back, and the sound of approaching footsteps fills your otherwise silent apartment. The door to your bedroom opens, and his peeks out from behind it. “What are you doing here?” you ask, regretting how harsh the question comes across.
He frowns. “You weren’t answering my calls or texts, I got worried.” He takes a few steps toward you, and you quickly turn away, not wanting him to know you’ve been crying.
Minho’s brows knit together in concern. Not believing your blatant lie, he makes his way over to you and sits down on your bed. Taking your hand in his, he pulls you toward him gently. You reluctantly turn your head, a pang of guilt sparking in your chest as surprise and worry flashes across his face as his brown eyes meet your teary ones.
“C’mere,” he says, taking you in his arms. You slump onto his shoulder, burying your face in his neck. “I’m here,” he says quietly, lifting a hand to rest it on the back of your head. “I’m here.”
“It’s all so much,” you manage to get out, feeling him nod.
“I know, love,” he replies, holding you tighter. “It’s ok to be upset. Let it out, I’m right here.”
You give up on trying to hold it back, allowing yourself to let go and sob into his shoulder. He just holds you, occasionally murmuring soft words of comfort or leaning back to wipe away some of your tears before tucking you back into his chest.
After several minutes, your tears subside, leaving you a cold, trembling mess in Minho’s arms. He runs a hand up and down your back, pressing a kiss to your hair.
“Do you want me to stay?” he asks quietly, and you nod, before pulling away to meet his gaze tentatively.
“Can you?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you,” you say quietly, heart soaring as he offers you a small smile.
“I’ll be right back, ok? I’m just going to change and text Chan to let him know I won’t be at the dorm when he gets home.”
You nod, smiling gratefully at him as he pads out of your room, closing the door quietly behind him.
You stand slowly, making your way over to your dresser and slipping into some pajamas before climbing back into bed, burrowing into the comforter.
Minho returns a few minutes later, wearing the sweatpants and t-shirt he keeps here and holding a glass of water, which he hands you as he gets into bed. You thank him with a small smile and drink it.
Setting the the cup down on your nightstand, you flip off your lamp and lay down. Minho’s hand finds yours in the dark, and he pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around you and intertwining your legs together.
You breathe him in, nuzzling into his neck with a faint smile.
“I’m right here,” he murmurs, and the words wrap around you like a second embrace, filling you with a warmth that spreads slowly through your chest and limbs.
“Thank you,” is all you can manage to mumble before your consciousness gently fades.
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freckledwinterfalls · 3 days ago
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pretty pretty
*minho as your boyfriend*
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requested by anonnie:
WRITE ONE FOR SOFT AND FLUFFY LEE KNOW PLSS lots of cuddles and kisses and sweet talk like pure fluff that makes u get butterflies heheh
rated PG
warnings: slightly suggestive ig? he stands between reader's legs, but only in a fluffy way
word count: 0.40k
a/n: I hope this is what you were looking for, my lovely anonnie >//< <3
¤°•○♡○•°¤°•○●♡●○•°¤°•○♡○•°¤
[fluff]
You felt like a little kid waddling into the kitchen with Minho’s sweater on. It was practically a dress on you, and it swallowed up your hands in its giant sleeves. You were feeling particularly cute and clingy this morning, and you stood patiently at the entrance of the kitchen, waiting for your boyfriend to notice you.
He was as beautiful as ever, even while bustling about with his spatula, making pancakes for breakfast.
He noticed your presence fairly quickly, glancing up at you with a smile.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
He walked to you as the batter sizzled in the hot pan, settling his hands on your hips and dropping a kiss on your lips.
“You look pretty today,” he whispered, nuzzling against your neck. The tiny, playful nibble he left there elicited a giggle from you, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“It’s only your sweater,” you protested.
“Yeah,” he whispered, holding you close, “but you still look pretty. As always.”
He patted your bum, whispering, “Up, darling.”
So you hopped, wrapping your legs around his waist, and he carried you to the counter, sitting you there as carefully as though you were made from china.
“I love you,” you whispered, pecking his mouth softly over and over again.
A contented sigh slipped from between his lips as you kissed him, and his hands massaged softly at your bare thighs. “I love you, too.” Then, with a playful lick on the tip of your nose, he pushed out from between your legs. “Let me flip the pancakes, love.”
You nodded, even as your nose wrinkled with teasing disgust and your hand rose to wipe away the lick he’d left.
Happily kicking your feet, you simply watched as Minho hummed, turning pancakes and looking for maple syrup.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he teased, one brow lifting as he strode back towards you.
You hummed contentedly, feeling complete now that he was in your arms again.  “Nothing.” You buried your face in his shoulder, sniffing deeply of his warm, clean scent, mixed with the delicious aroma of pancakes. “You’re just pretty, that’s all.”
Minho chuckled, the deep sound rumbling pleasantly in his chest. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back as he softly left a trail of kisses from your ear to your forehead. “You’re prettier, angel.”
♡☂︎✿☁♡☂︎✿☁♡☂︎✿☁♡☂︎✿☁♡☂︎✿☁♡☂︎✿☁♡☂︎✿☁♡
{{{[[(never say goodbye, 너와 난 하나니까)]]}}}
♡pls reblog if you enjoyed♡
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taglist: @oifelixcmerebrou @0x1lovebot @taecup-ontrack @grassbutneo @odxrilove @cherrycxree @staysflower @meraniki @sweetrainwrites @en-core-z @fight-me-m8 @enheun @crispy-chan @jeyelleohe @tenderfrailty @thevampywolf @super-btstrash-post @kimnamshiks @houseofincantations @ficscafe @straykidsland @gongiz
taglist is open!
-Xie💫
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