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#lee slapstick
unironicallycringe · 5 months
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something lgbtq was happening in this movie
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film-o-teka · 7 months
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The Benny Hill Show
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busaikuknee · 3 months
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shinigami-striker · 1 month
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League of Super Evil | Thursday, 03.07.24
On this day, The League of Super Evil (2009-2012) premiered on YTV in Canada 15 years ago.
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nine-frames · 4 months
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"Mice don't mock. They don't have a sense of humor or irony. He's not sitting in his hole in a smoking jacket sipping cognac, and giggling to himself, "I left the pit!""
Mouse Hunt, 1997.
Dir. Gore Verbinski | Writ. Adam Rifkin | DOP Phedon Papamichael
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eliah · 1 year
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magicaldragons · 5 months
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'in the name of pain and outrage'
an analysis of the ending
I say this with utmost love, but episode 16 was a shitshow.
i walked into this show accepting it at face value – a show that would take itself lightly, with a compelling subplot marinated in humor, and a dose of sweet romance.
this show tried to include very mature, sobering themes with slapstick humor, which is definitely possible if balanced properly, but i feel this show was not able to achieve this the way do bong soon or others could.
to get some of the discrepancies out of the way:
they never told us that the women's senses were connected, geum joo should not have been able to feel namsoon's thirst – that's something they abruptly added to fuel the tension of the situation.
there is absolutely no reason nam soon would react like that to the drug, when you compare it to how every other user was affected by it.
the strength exerted by gil-joongan did not feel like enough to knock her out like that
and with how easy it would've been to leave the situation, it's very obvious that nam soon taking the drug was an ill-planned way to raise the stakes and increase suspense
the homeless couple truly had nothing of value to add to the show or it's message
none of the show's themes or messages were delivered properly towards the end, and it went against everything it preached.
the immediate tone change after ryu si-o's death did not do any justice to the effort put into his characterization
i do not understand how nam soon became a cop, all technicalities considered
why was she throwing humans out a window from the second floor, even if they're criminals??
they REALLY cheapened the whole marriage conversation by bringing money, property, and heirs into it. that was NOT romantic or wholesome. hee-sik deserves better parents, tf.
side note: i'm pretty disappointed with namsoon's character arc, but lee yoo mi worked within the purview of the script to give us honestly wonderful acting, especially in episode 15.
now, to get into the ending, i'll start with this:
what we got, felt like an empty victory. hollow and out of place.
i've always been an advocate for all parts of a show coming together to create an experience – there's usually no single keystone.
but as soon as si-o died, the rest of the episode felt like a blur, with all loose ends being succinctly wrapped up and prepared for season three. byeon woo seok, and his characterization really carried the show as a unit, and added to its cohesiveness. i did not find myself rooting for geum joo and nam soon's successes afterwards
because they had failed the ONE thing most of us had been hoping for them to do:
to save people who were victims of oppression from those with the power of money, and empower them, including to save si-o from his oppressors, and help him take down pavel.
there is no satisfaction in geum joo doing it by herself, because she has no emotional investment in destroying pavel.
losing hwaja and si-o, watching namsoon & heesik become one dimensional all of a sudden, and seeing tertiary unrelated characters having their loose ends tied, is extremely unsatisfactory – for a show that had an incredible cast and so much potential.
at the same time: i loved the portreyal of gil joongan's mission to help the elderly and her enthusiasm for her future, and the addition of binbin + looking into their past from an additional angle also really elevated the emotional context of si-o's character arc.
i loved each character, truly, and to not see the plot and writers give them the detail and care they deserve, is wholly disappointing.
the show took me on a whole journey, emotionally,,,but to know exactly what would make it better, and be aware of its discrepancies makes me grieve the potential it had to truly leave an impact on its viewers, with a solid takeaway message.
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chezzabellesworld · 20 days
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Libra or seventh house 🎥✨🦄🐞🍄🪞🗝️♎️⚖️
Here we are starting off with the mask, which I feel very silly slapped. It slapstick kind of film with Jim Carrey, who has a really shitty kind of life, and then he becomes his other character in the mask, which is very labour like balancing out who he really is kind of like the naughty professor, but he takes a potion and he puts on a mask and become somebody else. It’s very funny and lighthearted for a libra like it also hurts like relationships with different types of people. Some of them are dodgy when he falls In love.
Hocus-pocus a bit of a silly one here which is on Halloween trying to hunt for children and take them away. Kind of season of the witches and the relationships between the witch assisted and what they are like and the relationship between the man that they turned into a cat who died And his relationship between them and the children in the film
All these films, now I think this is the most labour of them all black Swan, a very dark psychological thriller of adapting the films, Swanlake and how the girl has to embody both the white Swan and the black Swan. She goes through there psychosis becoming trying to become the black Swan while falling in love with her coaster who is to be the black Swan and her abusive relationship with her mother who doesn’t let her do anything else so put her foot out of place. She then becomes attracted to the girl and they have a lesbian that fling, or do they?
Gone with the wind, classic 1939 film with Clark, Gable and Vivian Lee as Scarlett and Rhett Butler. Scarlett is a spoiled Aries. I feel in the film with a Scorpio rising and probably a Scorpio Mars being her ruler but it’s all about her relationship with these different men and how she really love Ashley Wilkes, a man who is marrying us the best friend shares up and dance with Butler and it is during the Civil War times in America.
Last I have killed Bill I just thought it was a fast pace action film for a libra, and I added it to the list as the action film and dark kind of film for this list. I thought it had a bit of everything and that you could enjoy. actually we have she’s the man with Amanda bynes where she becomes her bar of Sebastian as a footballer where she has to pretend to be him and the things she has to go through is very fun and lighthearted.
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cheemscakecat · 9 days
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AI Art mistakes Episode 1: Gravity Falls as an 80s mystery movie.
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Like usual, AI struggles to replicate text. There are a number of reasons why an AI generated background image is a bad idea under most circumstances, especially as a final draft.
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Here is an actual picture of the Mystery Shack from the show. This design was based off of research done by the team working on the show. They travelled to actual tourist traps in order to find objects to draw as background details, like the signs and decor around the shack.
The AI version doesn’t scream tourist trap house, it screams random gas station [which is what I assume the rectangles in the far bottom right are supposed to represent]. The scale of the signage on the real design gives us insight into Stan Pines, the owner of the business, and what we can expect to find on a tour. The moss, missing S laying on the roof, and big board underneath all tell us something important: This is an old building, and the owner is cheap.
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The scale of the full shack is much larger than the little AI version, so much that the Gift shop area feels around the same size as the whole thing. The AI version isn’t believable as a house/shop combo because of how small it is, and the broken window!
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There’s a room big enough for two children to have separate beds and a large room with a window nook in the attic area of the mystery shack. We don’t know where this bathroom is on the ground floor, but given the fact that there’s an outhouse, we can assume this is meant for the family living at the Shack, not tourists.
The detail of the non-suspicious triangular windows is lost in the AI image, and since none of the posters even spell words, there’s no good details gained from including them.
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This support on the porch roof doesn’t connect back to the building, it connects to this tree trunk. And the supposed gas pumps don’t make sense either because there’s usually only one or two, and they’d all be the same height.
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AI Dipper Pines just looks like that one kid from Stranger things.
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Another issue with AI art is that the texture on “Dipper’s” hair is super soft and fluffy like a cat’s fur. You can see this actor’s curly hair leaves actual gaps and is more wiry and shiny… because it’s human hair. Also, the image from the show has this grainy texture on the skin and cloth, because the show is set in the 80s and cameras weren’t high definition. AI art looks too smooth and buttery because it doesn’t have the human understanding of aesthetics and texture.
He also looks like Frodo, but I don’t know why the AI would pull from a non-80s themed film.
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That ain’t Journal 3, thats Diary 9!
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The AI didn’t even make it red! Made it massive and square, but the rest wasn’t allowed.
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“Dipper” isn’t looking at anything because an AI drew this and had no plan for what he’s supposed to be staring at. Also, one of his nostrils is smaller and his right eyebrow is trying to escape AI purgatory.
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Don’t let ro-bro cook, AI “Mabel” looks like Minecraft Brett Cooper.
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Naw, because why is AI Mabel’s jawline stronger than her Twin Brother’s?!
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That is NOT Mabel bro, that is a thirty year old married woman on Pinterest!
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With a sock puppet for a thumb.
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They made Stan into a fusion of Walta White and Stan Lee, which makes sense. But his empty black eye socket and deep wrinkles give me a fight or flight response.
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This is what real eyes and wrinkles look like. Once again the text on Stan’s jacket makes no sense [and being AI has no design thought put into it], and the hair looks like cat fur. Walta’s beard is a good example of what “Stan’s” mustache should look like texture wise.
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This isn’t Soos, this is Deter Diffin!
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Literally what is the same? Got bro out here looking like a slapstick mobster with 3 offended brain cells.
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Look, I know Mabel saved that 8 legged cow, but even she’s wise enough to get stranger danger vibes from bro. AI waddles looks like one of those cursed 3-D Peppa Pig animations from the depths of YouTube.
So this next one, I didn’t even know who it was supposed to be, but the video had timestamps in the description…
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So Ford… isn’t a ginger, first of all. Second of all, he’s literally wearing a baseball cap with a beanie over it. Because that would do anything for you.
Doesn’t look like AI Stan. Doesn’t even look like his painted self, much less the actual Ford. The AI latched onto the author thing and made him do a book signing or something. I promise you, if Ford got the chance to do a book signing he would not look this depressed. Maybe he can feel the disappointment through the screen, IDK.
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AI Bill Cipher. Apparently. Bro looks like a Demonic Discord Mod who found out his Lemon Demon concert ticket is counterfeit the night of the event. I’m not even going to waste time explaining this one.
So yeah, that was episode one of critiquing/roasting AI art.
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film-o-teka · 8 months
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The Benny Hill Show
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watermelonsloth · 5 months
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Alternative Canon Ships
I think something that annoys me and a lot of other people about the canon ships is that they weren’t the only options by a country mile. So I wanted to finally put my money where my mouth is and take a crack at pairing the Konoha 12 without changing the manga.
Anyone I didn’t mention here should be presumed single in my AU because I either think they’re better single or I don’t care about who they end up with.
Option 1
Naruto and Sasuke - The entire series is about them learning to understand each other and ending the cycle of hatred by coming together (in holy matrimony). Naruto wouldn’t have a character arc without Sasuke and Sasuke’s character arc is incomplete without Naruto. I don’t think I need to explain how they act as foils and compliments for each other or how they’re willing to go to great lengths for each other or how they show time and time again how much they value each other.
Sakura and Rock Lee - We really went through the chunin exams for nothing. They have very little screen time together, but what we have is good enough for it to at least make sense. Rock Lee is clearly willing to both wait and die for her and Sakura has a mini arc about learning not to judge people on appearances and to respect him that culminates in her giving him flowers in the hospital. Worst case scenario it needs to get the NaruHina treatment and have a movie made about why they came together in the end.
Shikamaru and Choji - I’ve already said that I don’t care for any of the inter-Ino-Shika-Cho ships, but they interact with too few characters for me not to bring them up here. They’re childhood friends, they obviously care for and respect each other, they have complimentary personalities, and Shikamaru stands up for Choji on multiple occasions. They don’t get too much attention in shippuden because Choji and Ino were shafted, but they at least continue to support each other when they are shown interacting.
(This is where we start losing a sturdy foundation because the characters don’t have enough screen time spent interacting with anyone unmentioned. From here on out the bar is in hell and I’m only pairing the characters off because it would’ve been expected.)
Ino and Sai - A lot of people shit on this ship and I get why (Ino is caught in Sakura’s shadow and Sai was literally Sasuke’s replacement in team 7, so it’s easy to see them as discount SasuSaku). However, the ship isn’t the most unbelievable in canon. Ino has shown that she has genuine feelings for Sai and they at least interact with each other.
Hinata and Shino - Hinata would make sense with either of her teammates, but I’m choosing Shino because he makes more sense. They’re similarly introverted types, they get along, Shino has been shown to have faith in her abilities (I’m not saying Kiba doesn’t, but Shino’s more consistent about it), and I think it would be fitting for Shino (who’s insecure about being unnoticeable) to end up with someone who would prioritize him if he ends up with anyone at all.
Option 2
Naruto and Sakura - These two would’ve made more sense, “red herring” and “pursued her for rivalry” my ass. Both are ready and willing to make sacrifices for each other, they interact a lot and most of it is positive (we aren’t mentioning the slapstick because I’m not having that asinine argument), there were hints throughout shippuden of Sakura returning his feelings, they have complimentary personalities, Sakura ending up with Naruto is beneficial to her character, Naruto ending up with Sakura is in-line with his character arc and theme, both stop to consider each other’s feelings on multiple occasions, Sakura attempts to help Naruto in any way she can on a regular basis, (even if I hate how often this is mentioned) Sakura is explicitly compared to Kushina, there are more hints at their relationship than I care to list here, and there’s symbolism for a flower under the sun/heaven and earth.
Sasuke and Karin - SasuKarin is the sister ship to Naruto and Sakura because of its parallels (the Uzumaki has feelings first, the girls are both compared to Kushina, the girls both act as support and medics to the boys who take on leadership roles, the Uzumaki wants to protect/see their love interest’s smile, etc). As for reasons: Sasuke has been shown to respect Karin and her abilities, Karin loves Sasuke because he was the first person to show her kindness, Karin has put her life on the line for Sasuke on multiple occasions, both are willing to go to great length for the other, and both unlocked abilities for the sake of saving the other.
Ino and Sai - I’ve already explained this.
Shikamaru and Temari - This ship isn’t perfect, but I think it makes enough sense for most people to not be upset (the only people I’ve seen complaining about it are people who hate Shikamaru or ship something else). They always share at least one scene when Temari enters the story, there are hints about it being romantic, and makes more sense in canon than many of the other options.
Choji and Hinata - This is, admittedly, a stretch, but it isn’t as much as a stretch as ChoKaru so I’m considering this still in the safe zone. The two both have shy and sweet personalities that make it easy to imagine them getting along, both struggle with overcoming their low self-esteem and taking action themselves, both care deeply for their friends, Hinata fits with what Choji wanted romantically in his infinite tsukuyomi dream, and both have the shared idea of maintaining kindness even in a ruthless shinobi world.
Bonus
Naruto and Hinata - This ship was fine, even with its lack of screen time, but the Last and Boruto ruined it, so we’ll just pretend that didn’t happen. Naruto learned to not judge and respect Hinata, Hinata has multiple scenes where she snaps Naruto out of spiraling (the proud failure speech is still peak NaruHina), Naruto stands up for Hinata, Hinata takes a lot of inspiration from Naruto and his determination, and Hinata cares about Naruto’s wellbeing and feelings so much it’s a near irrevocable part of her character. With nothing changed it would still be just as flawed and clumsy as in canon, but it wouldn’t be unforgivable.
Hinata and Rock Lee - Again, I’m stretching canon for a Hinata ship, but I think there’s enough ground to stand on to at least mention it. That ground being a weird amount of parallels. They both have experience being in Neji’s shadow, both of them are untalented and make up for their shortcomings through hard work, both care about the people they love to a self-sacrificial degree, both are true to their word, both of them admire Naruto (join the club), both of them has a teacher that acts as a parental figure, and both of them have unrequited love because the target of their affection has feelings for someone more conventionally attractive than them(though Hinata gets more conventionally attractive as the series goes on so…).
Ino and Choji - It’s not perfect, but it gets the job done. They support each other as teammates, Ino could help Choji be more confident, Ino getting with Choji could symbolize her getting past her superficiality, and they don’t have opposing personalities or beliefs as far as I can tell.
Sasuke and No One - I’m just putting this here to remind everyone that there’s an argument to be made about Sasuke being better off without a relationship. I absolutely get why he was paired off and I probably would too if I was in charge of the epilogue (it can be an indicator of him and the clan healing, plus an Uchiha child/the sharingan is a fun idea to mess around with), but him remaining single also makes sense. He states how he’s disinterested in romance and he just doesn’t have that many working potential love interests in canon. Yes, there’s Sakura but more than a movie could cover would have to change before the two of them could reasonably work together and it might still ruin her character.
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DRACULA, A COMEDY OF TERRORS
Starring Jordan Boatman, Arnie Burton, James Daly, Ellen Harvey and Andrew Keenan-Bolger. 
Written by Gordon Greenberg and Steve Rosen.
Directed by Gordon Greenberg.
Playing at New World Stages – Stage 5 – 340 West 50th Street – New York. Run: Through January 7th, 2024.
A New Live Production, Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors, Reveals A High Camp Side to this Story of The Undead Count
One thing you can count on every Halloween is an appearance of Dracula or, at least, some form of a vampire added to the mix. That could mean a re-run of the many classic films with the undead count such as Universal’s original version of Dracula (with Bela Lugosi) or Hammer’s The Horror of Dracula (with Christopher Lee). But this scary season doesn't necessarily require an appearance of the original bloodsucker himself. It could include some resurrection of his character in a movie, play or live visual presentation in some haunted house.
In 1897, when Irish author Bram Stoker published his long-wrought novel Dracula for just six shillings, he didn’t realize that he’d created one of the most iconic figures of all time. Though this story of an aristocratic, undead mastermind was popular in its day, little did Stoker know that his blood-drinking, soulless monster of the night would become the source of countless permutations, reinterpretations, and re-examinations of this creature and its implications. There’s even a Bram Stoker Festival in Dublin which celebrates the Gothic, the supernatural, the after-dark and Victorian as well as the Count himself.
Of course, along with Stoker’s horror classic, the inevitable humorous satires, parodies, and various send ups cropped up. From a tale of the ageless Count needing to leave his ancient homeland to resettle in England to tap fresh blood, the original gothic narrative has often been revised with sometimes hilarious results.
Now, through Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors, this battle with the master of the undead receives an outlandish rethink. Enabled by a compact, five-person cast – Jordan Boatman, Arnie Burton, James Daly, Ellen Harvey, and Andrew Keenan-Bolger – this rapid-fire comedic reimagining of this archetypal tale garners guffaws and lots of snickering. 
Taking off from the original’s classic characters, they’re transformed into these versions: sweet Lucy Westfeldt, vampire hunter Jean Van Helsing, insect consumer Percy Renfield, and behavioral psychiatrist Wallace Westfeldt, among others. Here they find themselves in a faux British country estate which doubles as a free-range mental asylum. With its cast of slapstick, quick change comics who switch roles with the aplomb of fast handed pickpockets, this Dracula not only makes you scream, but it does it with laughter. The show also exposes a fundamental ridiculousness that illustrates just how resilient the original concept is: it can take jabs even at its core of terror and still retain a certain majestic-ness.
Through its compact 90-minute show, elements of goth, camp, and variant sexuality are thrown into a gender-bending, quick-change romp. With all the wacky characters, a pansexual Gen-Z Count Dracula tops the list of existentially challenged characters. 
As a buddy of notorious gay Victorian author Oscar Wilde, the actual Stoker was believed to be a closeted gay man in a repressive England, so his novel was rife with suggestive sexuality and gender reversals. Director/co-writers Gordon Greenberg and Steve Rosen’s send-up of this novel is meant to be viewed through a very contemporary lens. 
Just as the book transcended other Gothic horror of its day, this comedy rises above being simple holiday fare. Make your way to the Westside’s New World Stages for a comedic jab at the jugular.
Brad Balfour
Copyright ©2023 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: November 8, 2023.
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uwmspeccoll · 11 months
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Milestone Monday
On this day, May 15 in 1856, the American fantasy writer L. Frank Baum, author of the beloved Oz stories, was born in Chittenango, New York. Baum was remarkably prolific, not only penning about twenty Oz novels, but also scores of short stories, other separate novels, and several series of novels, some under his own name and others under at least seven different pseudonyms. We don’t hold the original edition of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900), but we do hold a few early editions of other titles, including this little 1932 booklet, Ozma and the Little Wizard, published in Chicago by Baum’s main publisher Reilly & Lee Co.
Ozma and the Little Wizard was originally one of the short stories in the Little Wizard Stories of Oz, six tales that were first issued as separate, small "Oz books in miniature" in 1913, and then in a collected edition in 1914 with illustrations by John R. Neill. All were published by Reilly & Lee predecessor Reilly & Britton. In the tale, Princess Ozma discovers in a tour of her kingdom with the Wizard that her subjects have been troubled by the pranks and harassment of a trio of imps. The Wizard tries turning them into other living things, which only results in a series of slapstick misadventures. He finally solves the problem by turning them into three inanimate buttons that he wears on his coat. Our later edition appears to have been published with the support of Jell-O and holds several ads and recipes illustrated with Oz characters.
It should not go without mentioning that despite writing wondrous tales that have been beloved by generations, L. Frank Baum also held racist beliefs and genocidal thoughts towards Indigenous Americans, and wrote that in order to preserve the progress of white people, indigenous peoples needed to be exterminated. In 2006, two descendants of Baum apologized to the Sioux nation for any hurt that their ancestor had caused. A sad note to end on, especially for someone who has delighted both children and adults with his stories for over 100 years.
View posts on other books by L. Frank Baum.
View other Milestone Monday posts.
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likeabxrdinflight · 3 months
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so I have seen the new trailer for the live action ATLA adaptation and I think I'm actually feeling more optimistic about it. Generally when an animated product is adapted to live action, I want to see something new in the production and storytelling that justifies why this story benefits from being re-created in a live action format, while still maintaining the overall heart and spirit of the animated original. Most of the disney live action remakes, for example, have failed to meet this bar.
Where I'm feeling a little more optimistic with the ATLA remake is because the format almost necessitates some pretty significant structural changes to the story. You can't take something like season one of ATLA, which was incredibly episodic and designed for Nickelodeon syndication in 30 minute blocks, and stitch it into eight hour-long episodes on a serialized, binge-watching style platform like Netflix without making changes. You just can't.
What I'm hoping they do with these changes is that instead of trying to frankenstein the story together, they pick and choose which elements matter and which do not. And then I want to see the storylines they keep get greater focus and more elevation than they received in the original. One of the benefits of a remake is that you already have the finished project to build off- you know what matters, you know what doesn't, and you can work with that to craft a tighter story while giving appropriate expansion and depth to elements of it that might have been overlooked in the original. The way Suki and the Kyoshi warriors have been billed and marketed gives me a lot of hope for this- when Bryke were first creating ATLA, they had no plans for Suki to be anything more than a one-off character, but she ended up Sokka's endgame love interest. The new show has the benefit of already knowing this.
Same thing applies to characters like Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee. We already know where their storylines end up, so they have the opportunity to expand and deepen all three of them without worrying about making things up as they go or maintaining any sense of mystery. And they have a lot of opportunity to play with Ozai's character too, given they don't have to keep him in the shadows for two whole seasons anymore- we already know he's a hot older version of Zuko, that reveal happened in 2007. Since they don't need to hide his face, they can actually show a lot more of him a lot earlier in the story. Again, I'm hopeful for this given that the trailers seem to be showing a lot of extra scenes with the Fire Nation characters and Azula and Ozai are both featured on the promotional poster.
Now, will I like the changes they make? That's an unknown. I might. I might hate them. We'll see- but at least it seems like there will be changes that, hopefully, will serve to justify why this remake deserves to exist. I do not want to see a shot-for-shot recreation of the animated series. I can already watch the cartoon.
That said, I still want to see the spirit of the original preserved. So far I like what I'm seeing from Netflix- the world looks pretty good, the animals, while obviously CGI, look faithfully rendered, the costumes are miles better than what we saw in the 2010 movie (though I have my reservations about the saturation of the blue in the water tribe coats), and the characters all look pretty accurate to their animated counterparts. The lighting is dark because lighting is dark in every show these days, and I'm not 100% on the color palette. But I was glad to see some of the humor has been retained in the trailer- we see Aang running into the statue like in the opening of the cartoon, Sokka has a few one-liners, and the shot with Momo was cute. I'm a little worried Iroh's humor won't translate well into live action, but we'll see what they do with that (I imagine they'll have to cut back on some of the slapstick, Saturday-morning-cartoon antics anyways).
I like most of the casting too, from what I've seen so far. Dallas Liu looks like he's gonna be a great Zuko, Kiawentiio I already knew from Anne with an E and I think she'll be a perfect Katara, and I think Ian Ousley will grow on me as Sokka. His line reads sounded good in the trailer. I'm a little concerned about Gordon Cormier, he looks the part perfectly but he is so young and I felt like his delivery in the trailer was just...lacking a bit. But I need to see more of him to really judge. And I love the casting of Elizabeth Yu for Azula, I love that she looks like a tiny baby. No one will mistake her for the older sibling in this version. And of course the adult cast I'm not worried about at all.
(bully any of these children online btw and die by my sword)
Will this show be good? I don't know. But I hope it will at least justify its existence to me as more than just a nostalgic cash grab. That's what I'm looking for first and foremost.
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smallgodseries · 2 years
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[image description: A brown leather armchair sits on patterned carpeting (of a sort one might find in a haunted Colorado hotel) in front of an ancient brick wall. The red eyes at the top of its armrests glower threatening.  A desperate hand reaches up from the crease between seat and chair back, as does a word balloon that reads: “For the love of God, Montressor!”  Text reads, “Ethan Allen Poe, Small God of Carnivorous Furniture, 225”]
• • • • •
(Hello.  This is the Chronicler.  Our Artist doesn’t get many opportunities to address you directly, save through small encoded details in the official portraiture, which I assume will allow him to complete a paragraph somewhere in the order of fifty years from now, so I attempt to show the same restraint.  I must, however, make a small exception in this case:
Ethan Allen may seem like an unremarkable god.  A god of slapstick, a god easily overlooked and forgotten.  But while I have never been among his faithful, he haunted my childhood nightmares for well over a decade, and I don’t think I’m alone in that.  So I am personally glad to have his iconography recorded as a warning to others, and hope this will lessen his grasp over others like me.)
Everyone has encountered one of his shrines.  The chair you can’t get out of; the couch whose cushions constantly steal the remote; the bed where your one-night stand was last seen (and why did they leave without their shoes, anyway?).  Furniture with suspicious intentions is scattered all around the world.
There are some who say that Ethan Allen has been with us since the beginning of man, that he was first called into being in the days when we hadn’t yet figured out that using alligators as benches was a bad idea, when a beanbag and a bear were essentially the same thing.  The carnivorous label was more literal in those days.  Now, while some shelves may seem to thirst for blood and some particularly overstuffed chairs may seem to hunger for children, there are remarkably few fatalities.
This is still the stuff of nightmares.
Mid-century Modern is immune to swallowing the unwary, but inclined to draw blood.  Ikea is the colorful candy shell above the abattoir.  In the end, our furnishings are made from the broken bodies of trees and textiles, or the processed remains of the long-dead, and like all risen corpses, they sometimes hunger to taste the living.
The chase longue is hungry.
Try not to be the flesh that feeds it.
• • • • •
Join Lee Moyer (Icon) and Seanan McGuire (Story) Monday, Wednesday, and  Friday for a guide to the many small deities who manage our modern  world:
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owmylasagna-blog · 2 months
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You know, despite Nazz being the most bland and forgettable of the kids, I also think she's (ironically) the most versatile at the same time. She might be both a tomboy and a girly girl, she fits in two trios (sometimes she's hanging out with Kevin and Rolf, sometimes she's hanging out with Sarah and Jimmy- something that hardly applies to the other characters), she has a fair share of interests (sports, studying law, fashion, music, math according to her report card) and actually a good jokes and gags (she eats A LOT, she's poor in music, and according to ''Mission-Ed Possible'' she's also bad in cooking). There so much directions they could took with her... and she's the only nice girl on the show.
I guess since most of the writers were men, they preferred or were more comfortable writing for male characters most of time (or they just assumed most of the target public/audience were boys, like usually happened in that time).
Yeah I actually like Nazz as a character and of all the kids on the show she is absolutely the most pleasant one to be around! Unfortunately given the high octane slapstick, exaggerated personalities, and overall humor of the show she sort of gets lost. Nazz functions to fit some role in service of the plot rather than plots being driven by some key aspect of her personality or interests. Which as a side character makes some sense but I feel like each of the side characters get their moments to shine! When we get a Nazz focused episode it’s really more about how all the boys feel about her. Nazz’s desires, motives, history, and perspective aren’t super fleshed out which is my main critique.
For a show about the awkwardness of puberty she is astoundingly well adjusted. I always assumed she was slightly older than the Eds so maybe 13-14? She’s inexplicably very mature. I kind of wish we got a sense of why that was the case! Like, we know Edd is the responsible one in his respective trio because he has to an extremely independent kid at home (and has mad anxiety). I don’t know what drives Nazz to be thoughtful, kind, and relatively more mature. Does anyone else? In the series bible she is described as “most mature of the kids, or so she thinks” and man do I want to know more what that means! Like maybe she should have been shown being more self conscious about wanting to seem older/ more mature than her age. It doesn’t get explored really!
And then there is just the reality of being a middle schooler! Scott Underwood posted a drawing of Nazz where she has leg hair and I’m kind of mad nothing like that got incorporated in the show!! That sort of character design choice gets relegated to the Kanker sisters (obsessed with that photo of Lee shaving her legs in the fucking kitchen sink, what an icon).
It’s why I find the interface of the Kankers and Nazz so interesting - I risk sounding like a broken record but I’ve been saying the same shit for like 10 years now. And while the Kankers aren’t necessarily the most well rounded either they ARE much more interesting to me because the crew wasn’t afraid to make them unlikable or gross or tackle their pubescent growing pains or their messed up love/hate relationship to men.
Idk this is just my take! I could be missing some things, so I’m curious how other folks feel about Nazz!
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