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byunmyeon · 2 years

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Saudade

↳ pairing: lee suho x reader

↳ synopsis: this is the third installment following philophobia and metanoia. after years of being away from your soulmate, you finally begin to believe that you have a chance at a normal life. but you learn that fate is never that simple or kind.

↳ warnings: language, alcohol consumption (nothing too crazy), ANGST you guys know what it is, a pinch of fluff

— note: sorry this took so long! i hope you guys enjoy the final part!

Fate was something you would never be able to truly understand. It was something so complex, yet at the same time so astoundingly simple.

When you were younger, you always believed fate to be a benign concept that could only lead to happiness. The day you lost sight of your string, you belatedly realized that all your preconceived notions were nothing more than delusions born from the idealized world the people around you had constructed.

Perhaps the cognizance would’ve been easier to deal with had you not been forced to move to a city that was constantly embraced by a daunting aura, one that didn’t allow you to properly heal from your internal wounds. Looking back on it, the trepidation might’ve had something to do with the fact that Seoul was the city where you would be forced to confront your destiny—the same fate that had disappointed you time and time again.

And therein lied the reason why being back felt like a surreal dream.

Every memory that came with walking down the busy streets overwhelmed you. After all this time, you still found yourself powerless to the retention of the time in your life where you felt the most miserable. Years had passed since then, but being back at the start of it all had you faltering in a way you thought would be impossible after your treatment.

There was a sudden heaviness in your chest and feet as you neared your destination. You allowed yourself to stare at the large building with muted dejection. This was the last place you were willing to revisit, but you were aware that never returning wasn’t a viable option. Not after you agreed to work through your condition without any restraint.

You instinctually forced yourself to shove all of your unwanted emotions into the dark place of your mind that was rarely visited before heading into the large building. By this point, you’ve become overly familiar with the place; a token of your dedication to get better. In spite of the fact that you were no stranger to the setting, an unbearable feeling of discomfort overcame you in that moment. You were undeterred by this sudden shift in your emotions and forced your feet to carry you to the elevator.

You pressed the button to the top floor, briefly recalling the days when you only had to go to the fifth floor. How time flies.

The second you stepped off the elevator, you noticed a young woman waiting to greet you. She led you to the large office, knocking once before letting her boss know you had arrived. You heard a familiar voice urging her to let you in.

The doctor’s new office was twice the size of his old one—a luxury he never would’ve had without your help. Being in his office reminded you of the point in time when you were adamant about not helping him with his research. Now, helping Dr. Kwon study the enigmatic soulmate bond was the very thing you had dedicated your life to. A true irony, really.

“Y/N.” Your name was spoken fondly and with a friendly smile. “It’s been a long time since we’ve met like this. How does it feel to be back in Seoul?”

Dr. Kwon’s words made you think about how long it had been despite the fact that it felt like you left the city only yesterday. You hadn’t been able to visit him personally since you left the rehabilitation center and started working with other patients to further his research, but you never imagined that being in front of him after all this time would feel as harrowing as it did. Deep down, you knew it was only because of the torturous memories you subconsciously associated with him. Luckily for you, those memories no longer forced you into a debilitating state—a development you had worked hard to achieve.

With that thought in mind, you set the report on the doctor’s desk while murmuring a noncommittal response to his inquiry. “There aren’t any new side effects.”

Your distant response made Dr. Kwon frown. Many years had passed since you two met, yet that did nothing to help erase the line you drew all those years ago. It wasn’t unusual for his patients (you, in particular) to unconsciously project their internalized trauma onto the people in their lives, but he couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed with your behavior.

“Tell me about what’s been going on with you.” Dr. Kwon prodded gently. “Have you been seeing anyone?”

The doctor’s biggest hope was to successfully help you get past your philophobia so you could finally start living normally. However, even after all these years you still didn’t allow yourself to get close to anyone romantically in spite of knowing no one could ever hurt you as badly as your soulmate had.

“I’ve lessened my dose like you suggested.” You told him even though you knew he would read it in the report after you left.

“That…” Dr. Kwon’s smile faltered, but only for a second. “That’s great. If you aren’t experiencing any side effects or withdrawal-like symptoms, I think we can start drafting a plan for you to stop taking the suppressants altogether.”

Those words caught your interest. To be able to live normally without the help of the suppressants was something you had longed for since you started your treatment back when you were a teenager.

“Will I really be able to?”

Dr. Kwon didn’t miss the spark in your eyes as you gazed at him. It made him confident that he could potentially help you live happily like you always wanted. He would never give up his mission to help you get better, and this was the first step to achieve that goal.

“If you don’t mind staying in Seoul a bit longer.” He said simply. “This way, I’ll be able to monitor you more closely and decide how soon you can stop taking the suppressants.”

You had no intentions of extending your stay, but you would do anything to be free from the chains that came in the form of medicine. And so, you eagerly agreed.

Often times, you were thrown into situations before you realized it.

When you coincidentally ran into Soo-ah, you didn’t expect her to invite you to come out with her and a handful of your former classmates. You had meant to politely decline her invitation, but instead you found yourself asking her who would be in attendance before you could stop yourself. She listed off names you could vaguely recall, but just barely. There was no mention of him.

And so, you ended up drinking with people who you didn’t know that well and vice versa. You weren’t uncomfortable per se, but there was a pressure building in your chest that you couldn’t make sense of. Luckily, the alcohol helped you forget about the foreign sensation as well as the other strident thoughts that had been on your mind.

It wasn’t until you stumbled out of the place that the real trouble began.

You had taken all of two steps, but came to an abrupt stop after you heard a quiet yet forceful call of your name. Han Seojun was walking toward you with a strange look in his eyes. In that instant, you knew that whatever was coming next wouldn’t be pleasant.

“How long are you planning on staying in Seoul?”

His question threw you off. Seojun was someone you could hardly call a friend, and you were certain that wouldn’t change with time. Despite not liking the premonition that came along with his words, you answered him anyway.

“Not long.” You told him truthfully. “I have some work related things to take care of, then I’m leaving.”

Seojun remained silent as if in deep thought, and you assumed he was done with the conversation. But as you turned on your heel to walk away, he called out to you again. This time, the tension in his tone made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“About Lee Suho…”

You tensed instantly. Just the simple mention of his name awoke feelings in you that you thought you’d gotten rid of a long time ago. Instead of reacting in a way that would give away your true emotions, you turned your head slightly to look at him. Seojun could only see half of your face, but it was enough for him to hope that you might still care about his friend.

“He’s missed you. Even though he’s living abroad right now, he still—”

“I have to go.” You interrupted him, unwilling to hear the rest of his tirade. “I’ll see you around.”

Back then, you had no idea it was only the beginning of fate’s cruel plan.

People often said fate was something that you made yourself—something that wasn’t predetermined but something that was subject to change depending on the course of action taken. You weren’t so sure if that was true because more often than not, you found that the course of your life was filled with trials and tribulations that were completely out of your control. These painful events (as your mother and countless therapists said) were meant to build character. In your case, they just hurt.

However, now that you were older, you were starting to understand what people meant.

After all, it was you who decided to remove yourself from the situation and distance yourself from your soulmate. It was you who made the effort to get better and build a new life for yourself. That had to count for something.

You had come this far, and that in itself was a notable achievement. Soon enough, you would no longer be dependent on the supplements Dr. Kwon developed soon after you came into his care. It wouldn’t be long before you would be free to live your life without any restraints.

That thought alone made you appreciate the view that much more. Snow was falling lightly, but it didn’t take away from the calmness you felt. Nothing could kill the high you were on. Finally, everything seemed to be falling into place. The peaceful life you always yearned for was within your reach, ready to be taken.

“Y/N.”

There was a sudden heaviness in your chest and feet after you heard your name. Every single hair on your body stood up at the sound of an eerily familiar voice calling your name, a voice that you wouldn’t be able to forget in a million years. Hesitantly and very slowly, you turned around only to come face-to-face with the one person you hoped to never see again.

The mere sight of him evoked a jagged feeling from your chest that you were very familiar with. It was no longer as intense as it once was—a curtesy of the supplements you were taking. However, you weren’t numb to the dull ache seeing your soulmate caused.

Suho’s face crumpled instantly at the sight of your watery eyes. The glistening tears in your eyes could’ve easily been mistaken for previous crystals from how brightly they were shining. He reached forward and cupped your frozen face, barely able to contain the emotions swirling in his chest.

You flinched away from his touch, realizing that all the effort you made up until this point was in vain. The ache in your pounding heart reminded you that no drug in the world could be strong enough to completely detach you from all the emotions your soulmate provoked.

“I’ve missed you.”

There was a sincerity to his words that might’ve moved you at one point in time, but now his words only left a sick feeling in your stomach. This could have been due to the suppressants, or perhaps the result of being away from him for so long. Either way, the affection Suho was displaying was something you no longer wanted or needed.

“Why?” Your voice was quiet as a single tear fell from your eye. “You rejected me.”

Unlike before, Suho’s expressions were completely transparent. His wounded eyes almost had you regretting your blunt words. Almost.

Not being able to withstand the sight of his pained expression any longer, you turned around and ran.

It was a well-known fact that the string of fate pulled soulmates closer and closer until the two souls were eventually brought together. Trying to resist the tug was practically impossible and, in most cases, futile. You were no exception to this natural contingency despite taking every possible measure you could to fight it. Eventually, you learned that fate wasn’t something that could actively or easily be avoided.

That’s why it wasn’t too surprising when you crossed paths with Suho so soon after you saw him the other night at the bridge. Whether it was coincidental or not, the strength of the bond was enough to soothe the initial irritation you felt at seeing your soulmate. Perhaps the power of the pull was what made you accept the invitation to have a meal with him, or maybe it was out of the need to prove to yourself that Suho could no longer affect you in the intense way that he used to.

The restaurant wasn’t anything grand, but they did serve alcohol which was perfect for you because you weren’t sure you could sit through a meal with the person who broke your heart while being completely sober. You didn’t hesitate to start drinking before the waiter brought your food out.

“So,” Suho cleared his throat as he saw you down a shot with concern. “How have you been?”

It was a loaded question that almost made you angry because how did he think you had been? Undergoing treatment wasn’t anything easy, and it definitely wasn’t pleasant. But you couldn’t bring yourself to spit out your poisonous thoughts. If you agreed to join him it was because you were better now (and to potentially expand on your research). You couldn’t let all your hard work go to waste because of his sudden reappearance and your petty need to make him feel the same way you had all those years ago.

Suho saw you hesitate, and for a moment he was worried that the resentment you seemed to feel for him would keep him from getting closer to you. He felt extremely relieved when you answered him politely, seemingly not too caught up with rehashing the past.

“You actually worked with the Dr. Kwon?” Suho was in awe.

“I still do.” You told with a nod. “I’m the one who helped him develop the suppressant for the soulmate bond.”

Your comment wasn’t malicious, but Suho felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. The drug you helped develop was worldwide famous as it was the first of its kind. He had read about all of its effects and how it was life changing for people who had been rejected by their soulmates. People like you.

When you saw the look on Suho’s face, you let out a dry, humorless laugh. “I’m taking them, if that’s what you wanted to know.”

There was an awkward pause, and you weren’t sure why everything had become so tense all of a sudden. Suho should’ve guessed that you were taking the suppressants because of the fact that you were still alive. Without those drugs, you would’ve died a long time ago. It would’ve been easy enough to tell him that, but something restrained you from doing so.

“So… you don’t feel anything now that you’re with me?”

That wasn’t exactly true. A suppressant was different from a blocker, and even modern medicine wasn’t advanced enough to stop all the effects caused by the soulmate bond. However, you didn’t tell Suho any of that. It was petty, but there was still that part of you that was unwilling to let him off so easily.

“Not really. I feel the like I’m spending time with any other person.” You lied.

Suho felt a sharp pain strike his chest. The throbbing was painful, but all he could focus on was your cold expression. There was no trace of resentment or love or anything. Just a blank canvas that he was unable to fill.

After a beat of silence, you spoke up, unable to stand the discomfort that suddenly consumed you. “I’m sorry about your dad. It must’ve been hard for you.”

Your words caught Suho by surprise. He wasn’t sure how you knew that his dad had been in the hospital while he was abroad, but it hardly mattered. The knot in his chest loosened when he saw your earnest expression. Your empathy was just that, but to Suho it meant the world. It touched him deeply that despite all the pain he had put you through, you didn’t hate him enough to rejoice in his misfortune.

“He’s better now. That’s part of the reason why I came back.”

You didn’t need to hear the other part because you knew what it was, and you weren’t ready for him to vocalize it. Dr. Kwon would be proud.

Suho seemed to realize you were uncomfortable and quickly changed the subject. “How has it been helping Dr. Kwon with his research?”

“Healing.” You told him without thinking. “It helped me get better, and now I’m one step closer to living a normal life like everyone else.”

A sudden pain struck Suho in the chest. Your smiling face managed to soothe some of the sting, but not fully. He would never be able to truly forgive himself for what he did to you. It was his fault you hadn’t been able to finish off high school like everyone else. He was the reason you hadn’t been able to live like any other person who found their soulmate. But somehow Suho pushed down those feelings of painful regret and smiled back at you.

“That’s great, Y/N.” He managed to say through the pain he felt. “I’m… I’m really happy for you.”

Seeing Suho was starting to become a regular occurrence. He was insistent on spending time with you even though you weren’t always welcoming of his company. Recently, he had started to walk you to work. There were times where his actions moved you and times where his actions irritated you. It was usually the latter, but this time you couldn’t be angry or annoyed. Not when it was clear that something was wrong. The moment you laid eyes on Suho, an uncomfortable feeling pinched at your stomach only for it to die down and completely disappear within the next second.

“Hey, are you okay?” You asked, unable to hide the worry in your voice.

Suho caught the emotion in your tone and faintly smiled. “Are you worried about me?”

The contrast in his behavior always threw you off. He wasn’t acting like the person you remembered, and you never knew what to make of his perplexing behavior. Was this really the person you met back in high school? It didn’t seem like it. There was a subtle jerk in your chest, almost as if the emotions being repressed by your medicine were clawing to get out. You frowned at the feeling.

“Have you looked in the mirror today?” You ignored his question. “You don’t look okay.”

Suho shrugged off your words. Instead he told you to have a good day and to not overwork yourself. That was another thing you couldn’t understand. Suho followed you everywhere, except your workplace. You weren’t sure why he had an apparent aversion to the building you currently worked in, but you didn’t dwell on it. Having a place you were able to escape to made you forget all about his abnormal behavior. Well, not entirely.

It was difficult not to think about the situation you had found yourself in. You didn’t know exactly what to call this… relationship between you two, but it felt like you were in a sort of limbo state. It was alarming and potentially problematic because recovery was something that was well within your grasp, and you weren’t sure if Suho was hindering you from finally grabbing what you worked so hard to achieve.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Perhaps not telling Dr. Kwon that your soulmate was back and regularly seeing you wasn’t the wisest decision, but you were sure he would have canceled his plan to take you off the suppressants if you had told him the truth. You kept your cool expression in tact, not willing to give yourself away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dr. Kwon frowned. You hadn’t so much as looked up from the paperwork in front of you, but he wouldn’t let you get away from his question so easily. Not when it was about life or death.

“I’m talking about the fact that a man named Han Seojun came in here asking about a consultation for his friend, Lee Suho.”

The shift in your eyes was immediate. You couldn’t hide the emotion on your face as you looked over at Dr. Kwon. He was looking at you with a somber expression, waiting for your explanation. But you couldn’t be concerned with that because there was a sinking feeling in your stomach that wasn’t allowing you to think straight.

“Han Seojun managed to get him in here for a check up.” The doctor continued after realizing that you weren’t going to provide him with the answers he was looking for. “I’ve haven’t seen so much strain on a heart in a long time. His results look almost like yours did all those years ago.”

Blood rushed to your ears, partially muting all the noise in the room. The feel of your heart pounding painfully against your chest was foreign now, yet familiar all at the same time. It was almost entirely painful, but not quite. No. This couldn’t be happening. There had to be some sort of mistake. But you knew there wasn’t. The signs had been there, and you had purposely ignored them because you hadn’t wanted to entertain the possibility of Suho going through what you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.

“You’re rejecting the soulmate bond.” Dr. Kwon said simply, not knowing he was voicing your greatest fear. “If he doesn’t undergo treatment soon, he will die.”

There was a moment where you could only hear your heartbeat. It’s unsteady rhythm was the only thing you could focus on in order to hold back your tears. It was true that you didn’t want Suho in your life, but to think he was experiencing the same pain you had made you feel sick to your stomach. No one, not even Suho, deserved to experience that type of pain. You could only press your lips together, afraid that a sob might break through at any moment.

“Y/N?”

You lifted your distant eyes, as if snapping out of some sort of trance. “Sharing a person’s medical information is a crime.”

Dr. Kwon frowned, but wasn’t all that fazed by your threatening reminder because he was aware that your reaction was nothing more than a byproduct of the trauma caused by your soulmate. Still, he had expected more from you. The treatment you received at the facility he founded was meant to help you (which it had—physically), but it had also inadvertently morphed your philophobia into something more grave that didn’t allow you to be emotionally vulnerable.

The doctor let out a deep sigh. “Y/N—”

“If you’re going to treat him, then do it.” You said as you put down the paperwork. “Just don’t expect me to care about what happens to him.”

With that cold statement, you stood up and grabbed your things. You hurried to the door, not willing to be in the office any longer. Just as you reached the door, you were stopped by the doctor’s voice.

“He won’t take the supplements.” Dr. Kwon said. “I don’t know why, but he’s unwilling to undergo any sort of treatment.”

You swallowed thickly, unable to keep the tears in your eyes. It was difficult, but you swallowed the lump in your throat and walked out of the large office without looking back.

Suho never thought you would ask to see him first. It was something that went beyond his all of his wildest dreams, and for the first time he felt the pressure in his chest loosen. You had asked to meet him at the bridge where he first encountered you after returning, and he didn’t hesitate to clear his schedule in order to meet you. He didn’t have time to think about why you wanted to see him. It didn’t matter, either. Not when you willingly wanted to see him and spend time with him.

Suho made it to the bridge in record time. His eyes immediately spotted you, able to distinguish you almost immediately. Even from afar you looked as stunning as ever. The bright city lights managed to give you an ethereal glow that took his breath away. Not wanting to keep you wait any longer, Suho was quick to go over to where you were standing.

“Y/N.”

You turned around, expression as blank as usual. It was a bit disappointing, but Suho wouldn’t let that deter his mood. When he finally got close enough, he could see traces of concern in your eyes. It made him wonder what was wrong while thinking of ways he could ease your discomfort.

“Suho.”

He hadn’t heard you say his name in years despite all the time you two had spent together. It was like music to his ears, and it made him hopeful that you two were finally moving in the right direction. Maybe earning your forgiveness wouldn’t be impossible like he originally thought.

“You’re dying.” You said shakily. “Because of me.”

Suho felt his heart sink into his stomach. He didn’t have any time to think about how you found out, but he couldn’t stand to see at the wounded look in your eyes. The last thing he had wanted to do was hurt you, yet that was the very thing he did.

His silence made the sickening feeling amplify. It was true. You had known it was since Dr. Kwon had told you, but part of you had hoped it was a mistake or a flat out lie. To think that you were doing the same thing Suho did to you was reprehensible. All your years of helping people and your own recovery didn’t seem to mean anything because it felt like you were right back at where you started. Except now it was you who was causing the pain.

You swallowed thickly, not believing this was happening. “Why… Why wouldn’t you agree to take the suppressants?”

The stoic expression that was imprinted in your mind made an appearance for the first time since you two met again. It made you feel sick and like you were trapped in the middle of a bizarre nightmare.

“Don’t you realize what you’re doing?” Your voice rose slightly. “How could you be reckless enough to disregard your own health?”

Suho’s eyes gleamed with regret and something else you couldn’t identify. “You did the same thing back then. You risked your life for my happiness.”

The suppressants weren’t perfect, and still left room for error. Often times, the emotions people didn’t want to feel passed through and consumed them. But now it felt like you weren’t taking the medicine at all because in the next instant, you were bursting with emotions, the most prominent one being anger. How could he compare your situations? How could he think that this was what you wanted?

There was a tense pause, one that didn’t last very long but felt like an eternity.

“Don’t act like you’re doing some selfless deed.” You hissed, feeling angry tears pinch the back of your eyes. “What I did back when we met isn’t the same as what you’re doing now, and you fucking know it.”

For a moment, you two only stared at each other fiercely. Similar emotions were building inside both of you, ready to burst at the seams. Neither of you were willing to speak the truth, but expected the other to understand.

“You chose to do that for me back then.” Suho forced himself to say. “It was your choice, and what I’m doing now is mine.”

And it was his choice. Suho would never forgive himself for everything he did to you, and he was certain there was nothing he could ever do to make it up to you. Except this. Only going through the same pain would he be able to truly repent his mistakes. The only problem was that you didn’t take his words in the way he meant them.

“It was never my choice!” You yelled angrily, feeling like you could explode from the rage. “Why would I ever choose to feel the pain you put me through?”

Everything was happening too quickly, but it was too late to backtrack. The misunderstandings and the misuse of words didn’t matter anymore because you were finally letting your true feelings spill out of you like a waterfall.

“You were the one who rejected the bond that we have without caring about how it would effect me!”

The sight of your tears came as another blow to Suho’s chest, one that was much stronger than all the others. Everything was falling apart so quickly. Too quickly to stop it. Suho took a step toward you but you stepped back. The anger and pain you were feeling was evident now.

“When are you going to stop hurting me?”

Suho sucked in a sharp breath. Your words made him feel as terrible as he did when he found out you couldn’t see your string. A single tear slid down his face as he looked at your pain-filled expression. The bond between you was completely damaged, and for the first time he could feel it.

“Wasn’t it enough for you when you almost killed me because you loved Lim Jugyeong?” You wondered, feeling like your throat was closing in on itself. “I didn’t know about our bond, but you willingly ignored it. When I found out, you didn’t hesitate to tell me you didn’t want me as your soulmate. I accepted all of that, so why… why do you keep doing this to me?”

Subconsciously rejecting or accepting the soulmate bond was something every human did as soon as they recognized their soulmate, and it had a stronger effect than most people would ever understand. It might’ve occurred to you that this is exactly what you were doing, but thinking logically wasn’t possible with all the emotions that were overpowering your thoughts. It no longer mattered that you never intended for any of this to happen because it had. Because it was fate.

Suho couldn’t stand it anymore. All the pain he caused you was suffocating, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He reached for you, only to be stopped by the blinding pain his chest. Tiny black dots clouded his vision before they completely engulfed it.

You could only watch in horror as Suho collapsed on the ground just as you had all those years ago.

At times, you wondered if your entire life was nothing more than a terrible dream. Some of the things that happened to you felt too surreal and distorted to be an actual part of reality. However, there was always certain moments that managed to remind you that your life was far from a dream. Seeing Suho’s pale form laying in a hospital bed was one of those moments.

You watched him carefully, gasping quietly when his eyes slowly opened.

When Suho saw you by his bedside, it immediately eased some of the pain he was feeling. You tearfully whispered his name, no longer hiding behind the stoic mask he had grown used to. It almost made him feel like all the pain was worth it.

“I’ll go get the doctor.”

You stood to leave, but Suho immediately caught you by your wrist. He gently caressed it, looking like he might cry. “Stay. Please.”

And you did. You slowly sat back down, feeling the enigmatic pull take over your actions. You hadn’t felt it in years, and you wondered if it would be a good idea to take more of the suppressants before your feelings became too intense to control.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized through the tears. “I shouldn’t have said all those things to you knowing that your health is in a delicate state.”

Your apology meant the world to Suho, but it also managed to make him feel horrible. Just like back then, you were putting his feelings before your own, and he couldn’t stand it. He didn’t deserve the consideration you gave him back then, and he definitely didn’t deserve it now.

Suho shook his head. “Everything you said is the truth. I deserve that and much more.”

You pressed your lips together before letting out a shaky sigh. None of that mattered anymore. The only thing you were concerned about was helping him get better. “Take the suppressants.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” You demanded, feeling your heart clench painfully. “The pain is only going to get worse.”

“It’s nothing compared to what I did to you.”

His words made your heart ache. At one point in your life you wanted him to suffer in the same way you had, but now it was the last thing you wanted. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but Suho didn’t seem to realize that. Seeing him in this state wasn’t what you wanted at all. Didn’t he understand that?

“If you don’t agree to undergo the treatment, you’ll die.” You told him, your voice was an apparent mixture of fear and guilt. “How could you think that would make me happy?”

“You haven’t forgiven me for what I did, and neither have I.” Suho said. The tears in his eyes spilled over as he looked at you. “I don’t deserve it either.”

You couldn’t stop your tears own from falling. He had it all wrong, and you weren’t sure that you could ease his pain despite having done it so many times before.

“It’s not that I don’t forgive you.” You whimpered as you took ahold of his hand.

This next part was going to be difficult for you to express, but it needed to be done. It was the only way you were going to be able to truly heal from all the pain that you went through.

“It’s that I don’t forgive myself.” Your confession came out in a shaky sigh. “I didn’t love myself enough to put my health first. Even back then, I had the option to get treated before the pain became unbearable, but I didn’t because I loved you more than I loved myself.”

You let out a quiet sob. “And I’ve never been able to forgive myself for that.”

If anyone understood that feeling, it was Suho. He didn’t hesitate to pull you into his arms, caging you against him. It felt warm and comforting—an unexpected safe place. It made you feel completely protected, like nothing and no one could ever hurt you.

“It’s not your fault.” He whispered. “None of it.”

Suho couldn’t have known it, but his words set you free. Finally, you accepted that your father’s death wasn’t you fault, neither was the resentment your mother felt, not even the fact that Suho had rejected you. None of it was your fault. You were only a victim of the circumstances.

The road to recovery wouldn’t be an easy path, but it was one that you were both willing to take.

Fate was a strange concept, indeed.

Even now, you couldn’t tell if destiny was something that was predetermined or something that could be made, but it didn’t matter. You walked the path that you were meant to take despite not being ready for it. In the end, it had led you to the place that you were meant to be at.

“Y/N!”

You looked over your shoulder with a smile, seeing Suho excitedly wave at you from the other end of the street. He jogged over to you with a giant grin on his face before engulfing you in a tight hug. His warm embrace gave you a sense of security that you had grown to love.

“Did you have fun with Seojun?” You asked, feeling like you were in the middle of a blissful trance.

“The guy thinks he’s all that because he’s famous now.” Suho said jokingly, emitting a laugh from you.

An entire year had passed since that day in the hospital, and now you could proudly say that you had successfully worked past your philophobia. It hadn’t been easy, but with help from Dr. Kwon and even Suho you managed to overcome all the trauma you had been unconsciously clinging on to. Now, you were living happily without the help of suppressants.

Suho pulled back, looking at you with shining eyes. He cupped your face before he swooped down and pressed his lips against your own. You melted into the kiss instantly, feeling a fiery passion consume you. The movement of his lips was sweet yet strong. It managed to make your head swim with euphoria. Suho gently caressed your cheek before he slowly drew back.

“I love you.”

You couldn’t contain your smile. “I love you, too.”

Suho let you go and swiftly grabbed your hand. He swung it happily as you two walked down the street. “Where should we go?”

“There’s a new comic store that opened down the street.” You told him with a grin. “Let’s check it out.”

Suho gave you another smile and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. The sheer joy you felt in that moment seemed unreal. It was hard to believe that you managed to get to this point where happiness was a regular part of your life. You never imagined that it would be a part of fate’s plan for you. There was only one thing that made you realize it was all real and not part of some blissful dream.

You looked down at your intertwined hands, smiling wider when you saw the red thread wrapped around your index finger.

#lee suho x reader #lee suho x you #cha eunwoo x reader #cha eunwoo x you #true beauty fanfic #suho x reader #lee suho imagine #cha eunwoo imagine #cha eunwoo #lee suho #true beauty #lee suho fanfic #cha eunwoo fanfic #astro fanfic #true beauty tvn

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missmadwoman · 3 years

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Invisible (A True Beauty Fanfic) 하나 [Hana] {One}

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Authors Note: I love Seo Jun and just want him to have his happy ending. I’m prefacing this by saying that I haven’t read the webtoon and I’m basing this fanfiction and any future fics I write on the drama. Also, I need more Seo Jun fics in my life so here I am writing my own.

Authors Note 2: I hated the last 2 episodes, apart from the happy ending everything else was rushed and a mess. This is AU because Su Ho and Ju Kyung didn’t break up and are now in a long-distance relationship. This takes place after Su Ho and Soo Jin have left the school.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Wordcount: 1075 (I wanted to write less than 1k but I am clearly incapable of writing short things unless it's for uni 😭😂.)

This is probably a mess, but I hope someone likes it. Comments and reblogs with reactions are appreciated. 😂

OC Profiles. True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 1:

Being asked to go and see Han Ssaem wasn’t new. Since Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin had left Saebom, you were Han Ssaem’s go-to person in terms of figuring out the mood of the class.

It didn’t make sense to you, most people in class 2-5 didn’t even know you existed or that you were in Class 2-5 and had been with these same people since the beginning of High School.

This is probably why Han Ssaem thought you were the perfect person to ask about the inner workings of the class, you were there but never took part in the madness that was being in Class 2-5.

Making sure there weren’t issues in his class became a priority after the reveal of Lim Ju Kyung’s make up less face, Han Ssaem never wanted any student of his to feel like they couldn’t come to him or for someone to suffer silently.

Reaching the Teacher’s Room and going to Han Ssaem’s desk, you were surprised to see Han Seo Jun standing there. You stand next to Han Seo Jun and wait for Han Ssaem to reveal why you’re here and why Han Seo Jun is there too. He smiles brightly at you and Han Seo Jun, you just nod politely while Han Seo Jun looks bored and his regular resting bitch face was kind of scaring you, he was one person you didn’t want to anger, and he clearly didn’t want to be there.

“Well, Seo Jun, the reason you are here is that your grades have been dropping a bit and I believe a little bit of help will do you good” Said Han Ssaem to Han Seo Jun before he turned to me.

“That is why you’re here YN, I would like you to tutor Seo Jun in most subjects until the end of the year,” He said to you smiling, you were shocked.

You didn’t know what to say, this was not what you thought Han Ssaem wanted when he told you to meet him at the end of the day. Your mind was whirling with all the ways this could end in a disaster.

Once it’s sunk in for him, Han Seo Jun just shakes his head and glares at Han Ssaem, well there’s his answer. Maybe if he was so against this, then you’d be able to get out of it too, this was probably the only time where Han Seo Jun’s reputation comes in handy.

Unfortunately, you thought too soon because the Vice Principal had come out to see Han Seo Jun glaring at Han Ssaem. Had declared that Han Seo Jun would be tutored if he wanted to be able to graduate, without being held back a year. If he still didn’t want to be tutored, then he was happy to expel Han Seo Jun.

Han Ssaem laughed awkwardly at what the Vice Principal said but still looked at Han Seo Jun hopefully and quite reluctantly Han Seo Jun nodded his head and just walked out of the room. Han Ssaem looked at you, motioning at you to follow Han Seo Jun, you stare blankly at Han Ssaem before sighing and walk quickly outside to catch up with him.

“Yah Han Seo Jun, I don’t want this any more than you do but just work with me please” You shout at Han Seo Jun from one end of the corridor. He turns and glares at you, shakes his head and just carries on walking.

Great, now you were going to have to figure out a way to get Han Seo Jun to co-operate with you. This was not going well, and you doubted it would even once the tutoring started. Sighing you started making your way to the classroom where you’d left your bag.

Once you get to the class you see Lim Ju Kyung still there writing something in her notebook. Ju Kyung looks up at you, smiles at you then carries on writing. Lim Ju Kyung was probably the nicest person in the class and once you’d picked up your things you went to Jukyung’s desk and tapped her shoulder.

She looked up at you and took her headphones out of her ears smiling at you and starts to pack up her things.

“Hi YN, are you okay? Normally you’ve left school by now”. You smile at her, waiting for her to finish packing up her bag and start to walk with her out of the classroom.

“Yep, Han Ssaem wanted to tell me and Han Seo Jun that I’m tutoring him, only for Han Seo Jun to disagree and the Vice Principal to threaten him, he just walked out and proceeded to ignore me when I tried to work with him,” You told Ju Kyung as you walked, Ju Kyung linked arms with you and nodded her head before sighing when she heard at Han Seo Jun’s reaction.

“You know, Han Seo Jun is one of my best friends. I can tell him to co-operate with you and if that doesn’t work then I’ll tell his mother and we’ll get him to not only co-operate and even be nice to you” Ju Kyung said as you got to the bus stop by the school and sat on the bench to wait for your bus.

You smile at Ju Kyung, she really was the sweetest person, you often wondered how she and Han Seo Jun ended up becoming best friends especially when her boyfriend Lee Su Ho was enemies with Han Seo Jun at least they had been until Lee Su Ho left for America and they had apparently buried the hatchet.

It wasn’t weird to Han Seo Jun and Ju Kyung comparing the things that Lee Su Ho had sent them from America. This generally consisted of Han Seo Jun complaining about how Lee Suho sent Ju Kyung better gifts because she was his girlfriend, and he was so whipped for her that he sent his best friend random rubbish that he didn’t even need.

Just as you are about to reply, you see your bus coming so you start to search for your bus pass and stand up to get the bus. As it comes you turn to Ju Kyung.

“Thanks for the offer Ju Kyung, I would really appreciate it if you could convince him, he doesn’t even have to be nice about it, I can figure out a way to deal with that,” You tell her as you go to get on the bus, once you’ve found a window seat you wave at Ju Kyung who waves back and shows you her phone, indicating that she will message you. You smile and nod your head at her.

CHAPTER 2

#true beauty #true beauty fanfic #true beauty fanfiction #true beauty tvn #han seojun x you #han seojun x reader #han seo joon #hwang inyeop #lim jukyung #lee suho #kang sujin #moon ga young #cha eun woo #my writing #Zainabs Writing #Zainab writes fanfiction #my fanfiction #invisible chapter 1 #invisible ch 1

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hyukaboosgf · 2 months

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write lee suho fanfic real pls

maybe

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icysab · 2 years

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since the first one did so well,,,

boyfie things with seojun!! pt 2

(may contain k-drama spoilers)

- in front of other people he tries to act so cool n confident but in front of you, when you’re alone, it all fades

- aaand ur just left w softie seojun :>

- he lOVES to tease u by holding things above your head, just out of reach

- he finds it so cute when you try to jump up and grab it from him, only for him to lift it higher

- i swear, this boy looks at you like you hang the moon in the sky. he’s so down bad but it’s so cute so it’s okay

- late night coin karaoke with him

- would have so much fun taking you on his motorcycle

- puts his good helmet on you, and tightly tucks your arms around his waist

- “hold on tight” he winks

- going shopping together, and his face turning tomato red when he sees you try on the cutest damn outfit

- like i said earlier

- down bad.

- you convinced him to go talk to suho and work through their issues together

- honestly, you could probably talk him into anything with that smile of yours

- he’s never felt more understood and loved by anyone in his life

- and he loves you for that

- if you ever called him crying, or told him that you needed him, he’d drop everything in a heartbeat

- he’d be such a good listener

- just there to hug you and be there for you when you need someone to lean on

- and he’s more than just your boyfriend

- he’s your best friend

- he’s so funny, and sweet, and handsome, and he just has this glow about him that you can’t quite place

- little do you know, you’re the one giving him that glow

- he wrote a song about you

- he sang it for your birthday

- his cheeks were so red and you could see how embarrassed he was

- it was the cutest and sweetest birthday gift of your life

- he gets along with your friends super well

- he always treats them with respect

- he really really really wants them to like him, because he knows how important your friends approval are to you, and how much you love and trust them

- if something’s important in your life, he makes it important to him too

- your loves are his loves

- and your passions are his passions

- so much sharing of clothing

- if you’re similar sizes or even have oversized clothing that’ll fit him, he’s stealing it

- and you already know you’re always wrapped up in one of his jackets or hoodies

- absolutely the type to tell you to bring a coat, and you not listen, and he sees you shivering later and places his jacket on you while scolding you for not listening

- but he doesn’t mean any of it ofc

- you’re wayyy too cute in his jacket for him to actually be upset

- he loves you so much

- he tells you every day how perfect you are

- and he treats you with nothing but respect

- tl;dr: i am in love with han seojun

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barbenheimer-core · 2 years

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AUDERE EST FACERE !

둘. balenciaga : part one — 3.6k words

Getting used to the new way of things definitely wasn't as easy as she thought it would be. There was no guidebook available to advise her on how to live in a fictional, but very, very real world where the people she knew were reduced to mere caricatures of what they once had been.

She wasn't even kidding. If she thought she had already seen the worst of it when her mother had yelled at her brother, oh boy was she mistaken.

As she had come to find out, no matter if she was in the right or wrong, Ahyeong was no exception when it came to being at the other end of her mother's disappointment.

It became apparent when Hwayoung had arrived at the ER to collect her daughter following a phone call from the receptionist alerting her of Ahyeong's injury.

Drowsy from painkillers and weighed down by the heavy cast on her ankle, Ahyeong gripped the crutch at her side as she walked to her mother's car in the parking lot. The bruising on her foot had looked awful at first, but upon further checking and x-ray scans, her bone was only fractured and the discolouration was the result of the harsh impact on concrete.

Her mother had been eerily quiet ever since she had picked her up at the gate, but as Driver Oh — her parents' designated chauffeur — embarked on the way to their home, Mother finally broke the silence.

Ahyeong didn't know what she was expecting. No, wait, she knew exactly what she expected to hear: the same words her mother had told her when she had scraped her knees on asphalt when she had been a little girl trying to learn how to ride a bike for the first time, asking if she was feeling okay, or if it hurt too much.

Instead, what she got from her mother was: "I wasn't expecting this from you."

Despite the internal heaters of the car that provided respite against the chill of the night, the air around them felt impossibly cold.

"How could you be so careless? Getting injured right before school? If this is your way of rebelling against me, let me tell you, young lady, it will not work," she scoffed.

"Perhaps I've been too ignorant in letting you out of the house so freely. From now on, you're to ask for my permission every time you decide to leave the house. Understand?"

She didn't even wait for her daughter's response and continued on, jaw set in annoyance as she almost spat her next words, "And also, next time you decide to afflict yourself on your escapades, call the housekeeper to get you instead. I had to leave a conference with foreign investors just to pick you up. Honestly, you call yourself my daughter. I wonder what I did wrong in raising you that you ended up like this."

Ahyeong looked on, processing the poisonous words that pricked her skin, and accepted one of the many cruel realities of her situation.

Song Hwayoung, a businesswoman with expectations that were higher than the tallest mountains and a personality as explosive as active volcanoes.

That was the woman sitting across from her at that moment, not her mother.

Her sigh was barely heard over the static hum of the engine and passing vehicles. This was definitely going to take a while.

If she thought that she would be cut slack with a fractured ankle and be left alone to wallow in her thoughts, she was terribly wrong.

New world meant new info, things that didn't exist before but existed here in this world. Thank whatever entity existed in the cosmos that the Internet was created, because Ahyeong didn't think she would've known half the things she did now if she hadn't seen the news feed on all her SNS accounts — which thankfully were the same — feeding her with all she missed out on.

First order of business was finding more information about whatever may be relevant to the story she was dropped in. For better or for worse, Ahyeong instinctively knew that she was going to be a big part of whatever charade she was thrown into, and if she went into this blind as a bat, she was bound to crash and burn. Even if she could find a way to get out of here, and it really was a dream (her ankle vehemently protested against that fact), she was not counting on false hopes and delusion. So in order of relevancy, it was.

One person that jumped in her SNS feed far more times than she could ignore was Jung Seyeon. She knew the gist of it; a friend of Suho and Seojun, debuted idol with a soulful voice and wonderful personality, ruined by falsities and someone's needless hate.

Upon laborious scrolling and exploration of trending tags, she gathered that it had been his birthday yesterday, the first after his untimely death the previous year, which also explained the memorial she had seen the other day while on the verge of falling.

What disturbed her was that she had stood in the same place as Seyeon, same building, same roof. It put Suho's reaction into perspective when he had found her, and further mounted her guilt in bringing up bad memories.

Digging up things she needed to know about the story — which was more inclined towards the drama than the webtoon; she had just started watching the show when she'd been swept away so her foreknowledge didn't really count for much — also meant that eventually, she would end up finding out something or the other about herself too. Which she did. She found out a lot of things, on the Internet and also in real life from people she was rather horrified to be associated with.

"Young Miss, you have guests. Shall I send them up?"

Eunjung knocked on her door to get her attention, relaying her message, and waited for her response with all the patience of a saint. She was a godsend and the Song heir couldn't be more grateful for her being present in the family.

Meanwhile, Ahyeong frowned, a confused look passing her features for a second.

Guests?

People coming over to the Song Mansion was not unheard of, but it was rare, and they were all either her parents' acquaintances or some of her brother's classmates. Ahyeong wasn't big on inviting people to her house or making friends beyond the usual superficial ones. She had a few who she loved having around, but never at her house.

Maybe they heard of her injury and came over to check? Dohwa hadn't texted her in a long while — was his number still in her phone? — so he probably visited?

Ahyeong lit up in excitement and sat up in her desk chair — her ankle had gotten considerably better and the cast would be off in a few days — and nodded at Eunjung, who almost chuckled at her eagerness and went downstairs to lead the guests up to her room.

She needed some semblance of familiarity from before and Dohwa was perfect for it. He even was Ahyeong's partner-in-crime when they read the True Beauty webtoon together in the rare days off that they had in the library, so maybe, just maybe, Dohwa would remember.

They didn't know each other too well, only bonding over trash romance manhwas that he dug up from the deepest corners of Seulli High — her former school; she had transferred to Saebom now, albeit unwillingly — but she liked to think he really did care about her.

Footsteps echoed up on polished stairs, advancing towards her bedroom located at the end of the west wing, and Ahyeong was almost vibrating with nerves at the implications of her train of thought.

She might not be the only one who was self-aware — that's what she had come to call this phenomenon — and quite frankly, she was counting on the fact that she didn't have to suffer through this alone.

Misery loves company and all that.

Well, turns out, the misery part of that statement was going to be more prominent when her guests stepped in through the door and Song Ahyeong recognized a gaggle of faces that definitely did not belong to Dohwa.

"Oh my goodness, Ahyeong-ah! Long time no see! I heard you were back so I came to see you! It's been so lonely without you, years go by so fast. How was New York?"

"Did you get souvenirs?"

"Did you really meet that hotshot makeup artist Selly? I saw your post on SNS. Waah, you're really living the life."

Fragile hope that had bloomed in her chest shattered into a million pieces, being flooded by a wave of horrified realization at the presence of the group of girls in her room.

She had been trying to deny it, pretending that she hadn't seen and read what she had, that the description was just that way because of a trick of light, that her eyes hadn't been working, her mind had been frenzied in panic.

Song Ahyeong, The Bully.

As Park Semi and her gang of tormentors stood in front of her with lips painted crimson and sharp teeth gleaming with an unnatural whiteness, Ahyeong realized just what type of crowd she was supposed to be a part of here.

The smile was ever-present on her face, cheeks aching from keeping it up for so long. Having moved their long-awaited meeting to the parlour on the first floor (damn that girl was rich), Semi's hands moved in elaborate gestures to demonstrate her encounters with their favourite victim- er, classmate, Im Jugyeong.

After three long years, Ahyeong was back. The queen b, the it-girl, the ideal student, her "best friend": Song fucking Ahyeong.

Honestly, Semi almost forgot the girl existed. Seeing the Song Heir trending on SNS for having landed back in Seoul was a shock for the girl who had been trying to establish herself as the person-in-charge after Ahyeong had left.

Semi had been trying so damn hard to build her reputation from scratch and was finally at the point where everyone in the surrounding neighbourhoods knew her as "Park Semi" instead of "one of Song Ahyeong's lackeys". But of course, the bitch just had to come back and ruin all her hard work.

She had to restrain herself from turning her smile into an ugly scowl.

She wouldn't do it, though. More like she couldn't, couldn't afford to burn the bridge that she had so painstakingly formed in middle school to rise from the rear end of the social ladder, going from an invisible nobody to a person who turned heads wherever she walked.

And when the opportunity presented itself, she seized Ahyeong's reputation in her absence and made it her own.

How could she keep it up now? How could she manage to compare to her when people kissed the very ground Ahyeong walked on?

Her smile wavered, fingers clenching around the handle of the teacup as she looked at the girl sitting in front of her on a chair that looked akin to a throne, calmly listening to one of the others talk about a particularly funny prank on the class pig with an amicable smile on her face.

The years had done her well, she grumbled in her mind. Ahyeong had gotten noticeably taller. Her occasional ventures into the modelling industry were justified. She'd seen those editorials in high-end fashion magazines. Semi wouldn't be surprised if her height counted in the 170's. It was a far cry from her own small stature.

Moreover, her aristocratic features were sharper and finely regal, lips perfectly plump and full of colour, the natural flush on cheeks that complimented her skin, her elegant posture and long dainty fingers that curled around the teacup, nails impeccably manicured, long legs crossed at her ankles.

For shit's sake, Ahyeong had no flaws. She was the epitome of perfection, anywhere she went, she belonged.

Semi scoffed in her mind, cogs already turning in her mind and forging the beginnings of a plan.

Enjoy the time you've got now, bitch. I'm going to make sure you run back to whatever hole you came from.

Calm. She looked calm. At first glance, that is. People didn't usually try to look deeper into appearances and took everything at face value.

Never had Ahyeong been so grateful for the ignorant nature of human beings.

Her hands looked normal. No, they were shaking with tremors as she tried to control them by clenching them around her cup until her knuckles turned white.

Her face looked passive. Her eyes were dry from not blinking for so long in fear that one of them would do something unsavoury the moment her eyes closed.

She looked fine. No, because she knew for a fact that she was staving off a panic attack.

Bullies. Fucking bullies, tormentors, tyrants, thugs, why the fuck were they in her house and talking to her like she belonged with them?

Her chest was constricting in odd ways, throat clogging up painfully.

When was the last time she breathed?

Was the parlour always this small?

Their mouths were moving, oh, they were talking.

Were there windows in the room? She really wanted to jump off one right now, anything to get away from this mess.

The door slammed open, cutting off the conversation — was it a conversation she was supposed to be a part of? Couldn't remember, she wasn't really talking, too busy trying to get oxygen in her lungs — and snapping the guests' attention to it.

Relieved from the unwavering attention of such unpleasant companions — although they were behaving well and were friendly, too friendly — Ahyeong breathed, taking in as much of the stuffy air as she could before slowly letting it out.

One... two... three...

When she reached ten on her count and everything shifted back into focus, she turned to the person who'd interrupted them and at the same time saved her.

(She hoped to any higher being up there that her guests hadn't witnessed her like that. She'd rather not give them anything to use against her, even if they hadn't shown any hostile intentions.)

Gilyeong stood by the unlit fireplace with a sneer that would've made Severus Snape proud.

"Look what the cat dragged in."

Semi huffed, setting her cup down, and put her nose in the air, flipping her hair back, "A princess, of course."

"I was thinking of something along the lines of a toy rat made of plastic."

Did he just accuse Semi of having her face done?

Bless her brother, she was going to shower him with flowers and gifts for this, because Ahyeong was forever going to treasure the memory of the mortified look on Semi's face.

She barely kept herself from snorting out loud, while Semi's friends held no such reservations, or maybe failed to control themselves, and dissolved into a fit of giggles and hysteria.

"You little-" Semi shook in anger as she rose from her chair, pupils blown wide with rage, "how dare you, you piece of-"

"Careful, Semi."

Said girl froze in her attempt to slap Gilyeong, and all laughter ceased at the sound of Ahyeong's bone-chilling voice that rang loud and clear in the room.

(She was vaguely aware that it was the first words she'd said the entire evening aside from the meekly spoken pleasantries and affirmations.)

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she warned, eyes narrowed as she pinned a cold glare at the offending hand that was a couple inches away from her brother's face.

As much as Ahyeong liked to playfully gripe with her brother, she never tried to lay a hand on him. And anyone who dared to do so would be spared no excuses by her, much less by a person with such a notorious history.

Semi visibly gulped at that, lowering her hand and letting out a nervous chuckle, "C'mon, Ahyeong, it was just good fun!"

"You and I have very different ideas of 'good fun', Semi," Ahyeong replied, setting her cup of untouched rose tea down and standing up, the other girls exchanging a look and following suit.

"Now, Gilyeong, what were you here for?"

"Umm..." His eyes moved over his sister, the girls and then to the door, "Eunjung said it was getting dark."

She turned to the guests who stood awkwardly in front of her, smiling wide — too many teeth, she later thought, after her brother commented how she looked like a shark — to hide the beginnings of boiling irritation that replaced her prior panic.

"I believe our time has been cut short, and I'm sure we'll have many opportunities to sit and chat again," God, she hoped not, "let's say our goodbyes for now, yes?"

It came off as more of a statement than asking for permission. There was no room for argument.

Gilyeong was boring holes into his sister's head with how hard he was staring, standing beside Eunjung as Ahyeong waved off her old friends — yeah, right, "friends" — and stepped back inside the foyer.

She had obviously noticed him doing so, because she raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"

"You're fucking terrifying, you know that?"

Eunjung looked affronted and hissed vehemently beside him, immediately launching in a tirade of "where did you learn such language?", "I should put soap in your mouth" and all that jazz. But he tuned her out, focusing solely on his sister who looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

If it was anyone who had grown a second head, it would be her. Because what in the ever-living heck was that back in the parlour?

Admittedly, a weird feeling had been pooling in his gut ever since he had seen a pale-faced Ahyeong entering the first-floor parlour with people who he didn't recognize in the slightest, and upon asking the housemaid, he came to find out they were some friends from middle school.

That immediately sent warning bells tolling in his mind because the grinch having friends? It was unheard of.

Not that he believed Ahyeong couldn't make friends, it was just that she often didn't have enough patience to deal with their bullshit with the workload that their mum often insisted on piling upon her.

When the thread of nerves in his mind had finally snapped in an hour, he all but barged into their conversation — which looked to be one-sided because Ahyeong wasn't speaking at all, only nodding her head at times, and when he looked close enough he could almost see her shaking- no, he wasn't spying on them — and was pretty sure he was the only one who had noticed her struggling to breathe properly.

Seriously, who were these people?

And then he makes a comment that blows one of the pissy girls' wig off and then he's flinching back because the rat's about to slap him and then he's shivering because his sister looks like she's about to commit murder.

Even their father's monthly tennis matches at the country club didn't give him so much whiplash.

He swore the room's temperature had dropped at that moment. He had scrambled to pull up and excuse as to why he had come in the room, roping Eunjung into it, and he thought he'd seen something akin to relief in Ahyeong's eyes.

But of course, that was soon overlooked when she pulled out her baby-eating smile and dear lord, why the fuck did she look like she would rip their heads off if they didn't leave right now?

She looked like a shark out for blood. And now, he told her so.

Ahyeong looked contemplative for a while before she shrugged and walked past him and Eunjung, who was still ranting about his use of such demeaning language — clearly, she hadn't seen him around his online friends when they went on raids in LOLOL — saying a few words that raised a lot of questions about his sister's overall mental well-being.

"Well, better get used to it because that's how the writer wrote my personality."

It was a mystifying feeling to be in front of a place that was inherently fictional but also real. The school in the drama was located at Yonsei University, but this building's address was further away from the original location that existed in this world.

It was beautiful. The hedges, the undergrowth, the ivy hanging off the old building. Students in Saebom's signature uniform milled around in clusters, either chatting idly or rushing off to their classrooms before the bell would ring.

The sun hit the scene just right, making it seem as though the scene came straight out of a painting. Well, it was supposed to be fictional anyway.

Ahyeong breathed in deep, straightening out her skirt and adjusting the nook of her tie that rested beneath her grey sweater vest. The tailored uniform was fitted snugly on her form.

The cast had come off the previous week after the doctor had given the all-clear, and now her legs were adorned by a pair of ankle-length boots, stockings and thigh-high socks.

She glanced at her watch that peeked out under the sleeve of her plum blazer.

7:43 am.

She needed to be at least fifteen minutes early to get her paperwork sorted out before classes began at eight.

With one last exhale to get rid of her nerves, she nodded at Driver Kwon, grabbed her backpack, and stepped out of the car and right into the eye of the storm: Saebom High.

And so, the plot begins.

TURN.

masterlist

#true beauty #cha eunwoo #hwang inyeop #moon gayoung #lee suho #han seojun #im jugyeong #kang sujin #extraordinary you #lee suho x reader #lee suho x oc #korean drama #kdrama fanfic #kdrama imagine #kdrama scenarios #webtoon

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seojunandsoju · 1 year

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Lee Suho as your boyfriend

Dating lee Suho would include;

- First of all. This man has money and he will spend it all on you.

- You saw a pretty necklace in a store? It’s yours. You see something that u like? IT’S YOURS.

- People start to think he’s just your sugar daddy at this point.

- He likes to just walk along the Han river with u it calms him sm.

- You tend to steal his hoodies and it looks so cute on you

- He can never stay mad at you for too long.

- Sometimes he acts like he’s embarrassed when u do something silly but he honestly envies how confident u can be.

- is not super big on PDA but u bet he is when he’s jealous.

- like he pretends to just tolerate your dumbness but he secretly loves it

- His dad has a love hate relationship with you

- He likes how u make Suho happy but he thinks you’re a brat sometimes

- Which u probably are but we don’t care

- Suho avoids meeting his dad especially when he’s with u

- So if u guys see him while talking a walk this man is ready to run on the count of 3.

- will help u with all the classes you’re failing

- Most of the time he’s the one making your homework.

- You feel bad so u always try to do something in return. ;)

- literally has your Starbucks order memorised so he gets it for u every morning even when he’s running late.

- he has a list of things you like on his phone and he tries to get u everything on it

- He is such a big simp

- if u call him while he’s in a fight (probably caused by seojun ) he will Deadass tell everyone to shut up, go to a corner and talk to you.

- He loves giving and receiving back hugs

- he SPOILS you

- SO MUCH.

- He gets u everything

- He never tells you the price because he doesn’t want u to feel bad

- he feels so safe with you.

- Every night he’ll lay with you in his bed and just tell you everything that is going on in his mind

- And you tell him what goes on in your mind

- Whenever u guys argue he always says sorry first and tries to make up for it

- Even if it wasn’t his fault.

- He gets jealous fairly easily but he never really acts on it in public.

- When you’re in private he will talk to you about it and try to get u to understand where it comes from.

#lee suho #true beauty #han seojun #kpop fanfic #kdrama fanfic #bts #astro posts #boyfriend #established relationship #kim jennie #enhypen #fanfic #kdrama #blackpink

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justanotherwriter243 · 3 years

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Carnation (prt1) - Han Seojun x Reader

A/N: im back?? hello to my 3 followers. i love you guys. i’ve missed writing. This piece is from the kdrama True Beauty! def worth watching. you can watch the first few episodes for free on Viki <3 also. the coloring in this gif is so pretty!! Feel free to message me if you have a question, if u would like to know more about the story, or if u just wanna talk.

Summary: You run into Seojun at the worst possible moment.

Disclaimer: i’m using the names from webtoon but im following the kdrama timeline. im not caught up w the webtoon. no use of y/n. gn reader.

Warnings: potential spoilers for ep. 5 & 6, swearing, one-sided (or is it), mutual pining, bad flower knowledge haha

Word count: 2.2k

prt 1 -> prt 2 -> epilogue

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Dianthus Caryophyllus; commonly known as the carnation or clove pink, a species of Dianthus. Coined by greek botanist Theophrastus, and is derived from the Ancient Greek words for divine and flower. Light red carnations represent admiration, while dark red denote deep love and affection.

Your feet are hardly touching the floor as you float through the packed mall. You make your way around a slow walking group of friends, annoyed by their lack of movement.

Shit shit shit shit--

It was supposed to snow today. That’s what your phone had told you, anyway. There was no way in hell you were missing this.

You curse yourself as you nearly stumble into an elderly couple. A quick bow and apology and you’re on your way.

Please, hold on a little bit longer!

Everyone knew what the implications of the first snowfall held. Especially watching it with a potential significant other. . People had been arranging dates with one another since the first mention of snow this coming winter. Shyly approaching their crush to suggest the action. Blushing at the thought of staying together throughout the season. True love blossoming in their hearts as they did so.

One glance at the pile of people near the elevator and you decide to take the stairs instead.

You yourself were not immune to the giddy thought. Nor the countless boys who’d ask to spend the day with you. Coming up to you during lunch or in between classes and letting a cheesy line slip out of their mouths and into your ears. Regretful grimaces found their way onto both parties’ faces when you turned them down as best you could without hurting their feelings.

You weave your way through the people in the mall’s food court. Nearly sending someone’s tray of food to the floor. This time though, you have no time to bow. Rather, you shout an apology as they glare back at you.

Your friends would complain to you about your efforts to turn potential lovers away. You, however, knew it was all worth it when Gu Seung-joon, the pretty boy with long hair from class 2-3, had asked to spend the day with you. He had walked up to you at the bus station after school, making conversation when he suddenly asked if you had anybody to spend the upcoming weekend with. One you both knew could potentially hold the first snowfall.

“I’m always free!”

The words came out awkwardly loud before you could give them any thought. His lips only quirked up as he told you, ‘perfect’ and pulled out his phone for you to type your number into.

Now, you were pushing at the glass doors of the entrance as you rushed to find him. The day was getting cloudy and your nerves rose as the temperature fell. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and you scrambled to unlock it.

Unfortunately for you--or maybe not--at this very moment, Seojun had been chasing after Jugyeong, who was running from both him and Suho. All of your attention was held by your phone. Which you had now unlocked and were frantically typing out a response to Seung-joon’s message.

So frantically so, that you don’t notice the sidewalk ahead of you that had buckled where the two large rectangles met. You fail to pick up your foot in time and stumble as it hits the risen sidewalk. A puff of air releases itself from your chest as Seojun’s frame crashes into yours, making your phone hit the concrete hard.

The collision is so harsh, in fact, that it nearly sends both of you to the ground with it. Instinctively, his hands wrap around your body, clutching onto you for balance. Your hands come up clumsily to his chest, shaking as you do the same. They end up on his shirt, absent-mindedly gripping him closer.

You can feel his breath on your skin as he attempts to regain it. You wonder for a second if he can feel how hard your heart is beating. Your eyes meet and you think that maybe you’ve bumped into each other all over again. Bodies pummeling together once more. Your heart leaps up to your throat and skips a beat or two. His eyes flicker between both of yours. You search your brain for words but come up blank. His adam apple bobs.

You had recognized him. Of course you had, you were in the same class after all. Even in his absence, you never failed to spot him at any of Gowoon’s performances. Regardless of what part she sang. Being in the school’s choir granted you the opportunity of encountering him at such performances. He’d stand there, waiting for her to come off the stage. Usually with a bouquet of flowers and a flashy smile. Embracing Gowoon with one arm and holding the flowers with the other. The flowers grew in quantity with every new song his sister sang. So much so that Gowoon took it upon herself to pass out single flowers to those she deemed worthy.

You’ll never forget the day Seojun came up to you, holding a light red carnation in hand, cheeks rosy. Complementing the flower. It was the lightest one he could find. Not quite pink but a softer, more dull red.

“Gowoon wanted you to have this,” he sounded annoyed but the heat in his face said otherwise. You simply nodded as you took the flower from his fingers.

“Give her my thanks, will you?”

When you went home that evening, you couldn’t help your fingers’ gliding as they typed into google “what do carnations mean?” Your curiosity had gotten the best of you. Heat arose in your body when you became aware of the meaning behind them. He had filled all of your thoughts for the rest of that week.

Not to mention that, recently, he had been the talk of the whole school. You couldn’t help it. Rumours had spread about him and Jugyeong; In a love triangle with Suho and the girl, secretly dating, given up his motorcycle for her. You had even heard that he gotten himself into a street fight with a gang leader to keep her safe. You hadn’t paid them much attention until now. Information about him piling into your brain all at once.

Seojun, however, couldn’t say the same about you. He had no clue who you were or why you seemed so familiar. Didn’t stop the butterflies he felt in his stomach, though. They fluttered up into his throat, making it close up. His usual quick-witted self gone. All he could do was stare at you as he furiously attempted to shove the bugs back down so he could breathe once more. All that came to mind was how nicely your jacket collar framed your face.

The two of you observe the other, both thinking the exact same thing. Why had you bumped into each other now? And why was the person holding you close so pretty? Granted, the latter applied mostly to Seojun. You force yourself out of the trance.

Before you can spit out apologetic words, though, something white floats down from the air and lands on his cheek, right below his slender eye. Your eyes follow the substance as it melts and slides down his skin. Your mouth is motionless as another snowflake kisses his nose. Then another in his hair. The opposite cheek. And another on his top lip, where your eyes linger for a little too long.

When the wet matter finally falls on your own skin, you’re hit with the realization that it’s snowing. Your eyes go up, your chin following, and as does his. Once again, air leaves your lips. This causes Seojun’s gaze to fall onto them. When your eyes connect with his again, there is no denying the disappointment in his face. No doubt your expression mirrors his.

The two of you come to an unspoken understanding then that neither of you had planned to be in this situation with one another. It happened, though, and there was no denying the fact.

He blinks when he realizes how long the two of you have been intertwined. Drawing his gaze anywhere but you, his hands unwind themselves from your waist. He clears his throat and sticks his hands in his pockets when he can’t find a comfortable position. You suddenly become aware of your own hands, still grasping his shirt. You drop them quickly and wipe the sweat from them on your pants. Regardless of how cold your hands feel on your thighs.

“I’m sorry,” the sorrow in your voice causes his head to look at you. Genuine remorse fills both of you. You aren’t apologizing for bumping into him.

His relationship with Jugyeong was complicated, you knew that much. It wasn’t hard to tell that he liked her by the way he stared at her when he thought no one else was looking. The way worry filled his chest whenever she seemed upset. The jealousy flaring in his nostrils when she gravitated towards Suho. The giddy that filled his voice when they teased each other. Or even when his pink lips pulled into a smile at the mention of her. Not that you had meant to stare. Honestly, how could you not notice when he was so devastatingly obvious about it?

Okay, fine. Maybe you had a small crush on Seojun. To be fair, though, everyone had a crush on Seojun at some point. He was handsome and charming. People were drawn to him. You figured you should probably get over him at some point, but it was difficult to do so considering how hard it is to avoid him. Even as you began to notice his infatuation for the new girl, your heart fluttered whenever you’d spot him in the audience of a performance. Sometimes, you’d even go the extra mile to look cute just to see if he would say anything. See if he handed you a dark red carnation this time.

He never did, and while your heart ached at the thought, you had gained the attention of other boys. Other boys like Seung-joon. Seung-joon, who had been waiting for you in the cold to watch the snow together. Seung-joon who had actually chosen you over anyone in his class. No, anyone in the entire school. And yet, here you were, feet stuck to the ground awaiting Seojun’s response. One you knew you’d be disappointed by, but still eagerly listened for it.

He glances over your shoulder. His jaw clenches. You can’t help but turn your head in the direction. You see what he’s staring at. A good few feet behind you, stand Im Jugyeong and Ru Hyung Jin, the baseball player, holding hands as they watch snow hit the cold ground.

When you look back at him, he sighs loudly and looks to the floor.

“Don’t be,” an eyebrow goes up and you take note of the disheartened tone in his voice. It’s harmonious. As if he’s singing a song. Air gliding through his vocal cords to create the sound that reaches your ears.

His eyes look you up and down as he takes you in. You’ve now put a good distance between you two. Letting the snow fill the space.

“Are you okay?”

Are you okay?

Your head shakes ‘no’ and he almost looks worried for a second.

“I’m not hurt,” your words are careful. His eyes narrow in curiosity.

Before he can say anything else, though, your phone buzzes from on the sidewalk. Which was now turning dark gray as more snow dampened it. Your phone lays dead center between the two of you, your case stares back at you. Like it’s waiting to see who will make the first move. You feel as if your phone mocks you, like it had planned this. Planned to ring right as Seojun was racing in your direction. The cause for the crash. Have your mind revert back to when your silly crush was all you could think of. Right when you had seemingly gotten over it.

Fear rushes your body as you think of the damage caused to the screen. Both you and Seojun crouch down at the same time to grab it. Hands brushing as you reach it, fingers ghosting over one anothers. You look up at him and he does the same. His eyes are piercing and intimidating. Right then they widen, and his eyebrows quickly flash up as he takes you in. Almost as if he recognizes you. Light catches on his earrings and the sound of them dangling snaps you out of your thoughts.

You take the phone from his hand and get up as fast as you can. You bow as soon as you’re standing straight, settling for silence rather than risking something stupid coming out of your mouth.

He stands and watches as you walk off. His eyes don’t move even when you glance back at him over your shoulder. Your buzzing phone rings through the air and you regretfully pick up a call from Seung-joon. He asks you where you are and you finally turn away from Seojun. Whose teeth are gritted, hissing through them when he sees you run off.

prt 2

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