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#lemon boy tomato
ladysnowangel · 2 years
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Lemon Boy Tomato
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eela · 1 year
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oh to grow tomatoes on a school rooftop...
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Idk if i already did this but bro this is perfect for a Red Lemonade ship animation
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bro please just trust me bro please
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greenpvnk · 2 years
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Toh-may-toes™
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sems-diarie · 6 months
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cottage boy!eren chops the wood and lights the fire for you and he to keep warm at night. he huddles you close to him while you sleep. the first time he wraps his arm around your waist and gently flushes against you, your face burns the entire night.
cottage boy!eren is so strong. he doesn’t just chop the wood; he lifts the tree roots to bring ‘em closer. he lifts you at the waist, unprompted, and laughs when your fingers nearly tear into his cotton shirt to keep a hood of him.
cottage boy!eren plays chase with you in the woods. you love the rush of wind in your hair, through your clothes—and eren loves being it.
cottage boy!eren is such an affectionate drunk. he splits a bottle with you and his reservations dwindle to near nothing. his hands caress your ankles, as they rest over his lap. his cheeks tint real rosy, a man-eating grin slapped over his face. he thumbs at your arms, your shoulders—sweetly strumming your body, and barely even aware of it.
cottage boy!eren is such a handyman. fixes pipes, cleans with you, cooks with you. builds your kitchen from scratch and paints it all in your favorite colors.
cottage boy!eren is a bleeding heart. openly stares (gawks) at you, kisses your fingers, your wrists, your palms. he finds his hands are almost as expressive as his mouth is. but boy, the way he speaks—soft and low, it swirls in your tummy.
cottageboy!eren with hearts swirling in his eyes, follows your swift little steps around the room as you look for the book you’d been reading. you’d sat it next to him just a second ago. he promises to hand it back if you tell him what it’s about.
cottage boy!eren doesn’t even realize how alone the two of you really are until you mention it for the third time, on your third day away. and then he becomes insufferable, a menace unto himself and you. he enjoys basking in the sunlight of your attention, is warm with your laugh spreading across his ears.
cottageboy!eren picking flowers for you, brings em home to set the table with for dinner. you help him plant some lemon and lime trees, help him plant tomatoes and keep it all watered.
cottage boy ‘ren loves the fields, the animals. you cross a few deer every now and then. the look on your face each time makes his heart stutter.
sharing a bath with your cottage boy, his big body pressed tight between your hips. <3
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sttoru · 8 months
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ෆ tags. dad!toji x female reader. toji letting baby megumi try all kinds of new food !
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it was a typical monday morning: you were making breakfast for your little family, flipping pancakes and eggs as you left toji to handle the task of helping megumi go through his routine. once your husband had finished, he walked into the kitchen with your little child in his arms (this time holding the boy somewhat properly).
once you turn your head towards the two, you noticed how megumi was eagerly suckling on toji’s index finger—a habit of your son to signal you that he yearned for his daily nutrients.
“megumi’s biting my finger off,” toji exaggerates, yawning before moving towards the fridge and opening the door. the sudden breeze of cold air hitting his skin makes him shudder.
you laugh and flip a pancake, revealing its golden brown colour on the back, “i stored ‘gumi’s food on the second shelf. a little in the back.”
megumi’s tiny arms were already reaching out for the familiar bowl, making grabby hands at it as if encouraging his dad to feed him his meal. toji’s eyes, however, were scanning the entire content of the fridge for something new, “y’know, maybe it’s time to learn how to eat somethin’ else, kid. your taste buds need’ta get used to other foods.”
according to his ‘brilliant’ logic, it’s best to get kids used to new foods at a young age so they won’t become picky eaters later on. thus, toji grabs the most random combination of whatever looks edible. the gathered items consisted of pickles, strawberries, mini-carrots, tomatoes and a single lemon.
toji quickly glances over at you, but your attention was totally focused on the breakfast you were preparing. your husband takes his chance, puts megumi in his high-chair and cuts up all the food he grabbed to biteable pieces for the baby, “alright, i’ll give ya the freedom of choosin’ something on y’r own. go on.”
toji places the various items on megumi’s small tray. the boy stares at the food and picks a piece of strawberry first since the red colour was the most appealing. megumi munches on it, hands as well as his lips getting a bit messy. he didn’t seem to dislike it as his little pouty lips continued to move and digest the fruit.
“okay, so ya like the strawberries. noted.” toji makes a mental note of the new discovery, already planning on buying boxes of strawberries for his son.
once megumi swallowed the piece, the curious boy goes on and picks another type of food. this time it was a yellow coloured piece—one which megumi had no knowledge about. toji did, however, and was already grinning.
the man crossed his arms while he looked down at his kid who was about to go through an unpleasant experience. that’s what builds character according to toji, so why would he intervene and stop megumi from eating a lemon? finding out on his own will teach him a very valuable lesson.
the second megumi’s tongue picks up on the extreme sour taste, his nose scrunches up, eyebrows furrowing along with a disgusted noise escaping the back of his throat, “blegh!”
toji bursts out laughing and points at megumi whose tiny fingers were trying to wipe the taste off his tongue, spitting and almost crying from the unfamiliar taste that entered his mouth. most parents would help their child out and give them water to rinse their mouth, however the scene was apparently way too hilarious to your husband for him to even think about rushing to aid megumi.
you turn to see what the commotion was about and spot your son almost in tears from whatever he ate. you frown and walk up to the high-chair, inspecting the squished piece of lemon in megumi’s hand.
“mannnn, that was the funniest stuff i’ve seen in a while.” toji snickers once he calms down, finally grabbing a tissue to wipe megumi’s drool and spit off.
“poor baby.” you watch the small child stare at his dad with a pouty expression on his little face like he was awaiting on an apology of some kind.
even toji can’t deny it: he did somewhat feel bad now. those big and watery eyes looking up at him made him soften in a fraction of a second. the dark-haired man dumps the used tissues in the nearby garbage can and then walks back to the high chair;
“aww, okay, ‘m sorry.” toji coos and lifts megumi up in his embrace, smothering the child with kisses all over his exposed shoulders before softly poking the fat of his cheeks, “can you forgive your daddy, kiddo?”
“da-da!” megumi happily giggles without knowing the meaning of toji’s words. all the kid desired at that instant was more of his dad’s attention and affection. especially after what occurred a moment ago.
megumi was guaranteed to get what he needed since toji was already preparing to tickle and kiss his adorable son all over as an apology.
you chuckle and go back to making breakfast—your ears filled with high-pitched squeals from your son as toji’s voice called out for a ‘tickle attack’.
at least all was well in the end.
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utopians · 1 year
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toasted everything bagel + cream cheese + slice of tomato + red onion + lox salmon + squeeze of lemon juice + capers. imagine it with me now boys
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kyloherrera · 3 months
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How would MASHLE boys react to you eating icecream in a erotic way in front of them.
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cw. Slighty suggestive, fluff, blowjob, fem!reader, chocking
an. omg, friends my first post of mashle. well nothing to say I love this anime but love more mash so probaly a fic, and a series and more are coming soon! Also remember to like, comment, reblog, follow for more mash content. It really makes the difference &lt;3. Also I will write based on the character as we see him in the anime cause' i havent read the manga.
ft. mash, lance, finn, dot, abel, rayne, abyss
MASHLE MASTERLIST & MASHLE TAGLIST
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#MASH!
When he saw you eat your icecream like that he just make a confusse expression, he didn't understand you, so he titled his head a little, he raised his hand to ask you but instead of that he thought that you we're licking it like that because it was the most delicious icecream in the world, so he licked it but then he didn't find the answer. "I don't understand, why are you licking it like it? creampuffs taste way better than this." You just blushed and looked away, ashamed that he didn't notice, but then you heard the rest of the comment and sigh, it was mash just being mash.
#FINN!
When you where in your date you two bought icecreams, and finn invited you, since you have never try sex you taught that this was an opportunity to turn him on, and an extra point was that you were wearing something that let him see a peak of your boobs, of course when he noticed he couldn't help but look away with a red face. So you started seductively eating the icecream to then let the drops fall in your boobs, finn just look like he was a tomato, when he saw you do that, but then he looked at you and said. "y-you are doing it wrong" He said while turning away. and just answer him, "I know baby."
#LANCE!
When you decided to tease him, you weren't hoping it will turn out the way it did. Lance decided to make icecreams for your birthday party and you decided to use this opportunity to tease even tought it were in all of front of your friends. You started to lick the tip of the icecream has it were the tip of his dick. Lance gaze's didn't moved from you from all the party with a cold deadly grin, he was planning on how to get revenge for provoking him and make his the fabric of his boxer thight in such a pressure he couldn't handle, of course he trained a lot his patience when he teached his friends so he could hold a little bit but when the pressure was way too much he excused himself to go to the bathroom and jack off. You just smiled in such a satisfactory and cocky way, and Dot noticed what you too where doing, but you couldn't care less, but after Lance came back he cryied to him that he was too lucky to get such a beautiful girl to get him to tease him like that and by the way you licked your icecream you were such a goddess. That made Lance to give him the most deadly gaze and to even lift his wand ready to attack him, if he weren't for Lemon your room will probably end up a mess and destroyed. After your party he make you choke in his dick so bad that the only thing you could think off was his cock. And he even slap you when you were talking or smiling because he wanted to erase that cocky smile from your face.
#DOT!
You two were alone on a summer date and because of that you brought a strapless and u-shaped t-shirt giving him a peak of your boobs, he tryied to look other way that weren't your boobs but he couldn't help and he tought he was making it discrete but the reality is that anyone has notice that the first part that he looked at were your boobs. After that he bought you an icecream because that was his manual of dates said and you with an evil grin, just started to licking it with like it was a dick, Dot just try to articulate words but a redness cover his face and someblood started to fell under his nose . "You.. You, a-are d-oing it w-wro-ong" He said while looking away and lowering his tshirth with his hand so you couldn't notice the erection. "I know" you just smiled at him. You then choke on your icecream like you were chocking on a dick even though everyone was looking at you but you couldn't care less. Then he started shaking his head up and down, hitting himself with his hand. "It can be its just like in the porn movies." He said to himself and you couldn't help but laugh and whisper him "exactly." he just fell to the ground and said again to himself "Know I can die in peace" He said to just close his eyes and play dead.
#ABEL!
You two where in a date, and it was weird to no see abyss with him but he told you that you wanted some alone time with you, and you told him that you wanted and icecream and he almost bought all of the flavors that were avaible, until you told him that it wasn't neccesary. Then you too seat on a bank togheter and you started to lick it, it was your opportunity to turn him on since he had never been horny. So you made circles around the tip of the ice cream and he just looked at you confused. "What are you doing?". "Nothing you wouldn't like" You answer him. And after you two were at the school he make you swallow and lick his dick exactly the same.
#ABYSS!
You were sitting on a bank with him icecream on your hand, and you were holding hands, he had a slighty blush on his face since he had never experience love or physical touch before. But then you started to turn things naughty, he just looked away while you eating the icecream in such a seductive way that you could seduce anyone, he just looked away face more red. But you could notice his hand holding you tighter. But then he notice the bulge over his pants and look at you. "My lady can you stop?." He looked away a face more red. "Because if you don't I don't know if I am gonna be able to hold myself."
#RAYNE!
Since he was a divine visionary, he was very busy so dates with him were every one or two months, every two months it was a cute date and every one month was a date to just fuck you, but it came one time when he take you out to the cinema, a place in which you can both have some privacy, he was a wealthy man so he bought you anything you want even an icecream. You then started the movie and even though you weren't trying to provoke him, but the led noices were turning him on. So then he grabbed your chin and make you look at him, to then whisper. "Such a lewd girl, doing all of this because she is desperate of tasting his master's cock, want master to choke you on his cuck in front of all these people?" You just say no with your head, you didn't want to damage all of his reputation. He just choke you with his hand "Don't tell me what to do bunny, a pet doesn't get a saying on this." You could feel your legs already going weak as the way his voice ring in your ear. So he just take you the bathroom and make you suck his cock while he chocked you feeling his cock down you throat.
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Like and reblog for more characters and pt.2 !
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the-witchhunter · 2 months
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Masterpost for all the DP x DC vodkas y’all have suggested and I’ve made… (so far?)
Previous post here
Burger/batburger/nasty burger
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Beefy followed by pickle. Not the worst thing I’ve put in my body. Mainly just weird and combine with tomato juice and a float of smoky scotch it tastes like a backyard cookout burger and is a decent drink.
5.5/10 it’s not the worst but you’ll probably not make it again. Shoutout to @stealingyourbones for making this with me
Ranch 2 (ectoplasm)
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Salty af and tastes like vodka and ranch. Unironically makes a good Bloody Mary but not recommended on its own. It’s just ranch seasoning and green food dye. Hard to rank because not good as a shot but mixes well in savory drinks 6/10? Unless you really like ranch and/or Bloody Marys it’s not really worth making again
Dick(Grayson)/fruity pebbles
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I mainly just think it’s funny to call itDick flavored so bonus point there. It’s literally just soaking fruity pebbles for a couple minutes in vodka and straining. It tastes great, it’s freaking fruity pebbles 8/10 definitely worth making again. Mix with sprite or just do shots. If you want a stronger flavor soak fresh cereal instead of soaking longer
Jason’s Pit Rage
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Raspberries, sugar, and a Serrano pepper. Spicy and grassy flavored up front balanced by the red berry flavors of raspberry and the sweetness. Actually really good and could easily replace the Serrano with a chipotle pepper to add a smoky note. 9/10 do make this one. Good as a shot, on the rocks, or as an addition to a margarita
Green apple (ectoplasm)
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Apple jolly ranchers and vodka. It’s good. I don’t think this will surprise anyone. Sweet, apple flavor, it’s welcome if you bring it to most parties 7/10
Lemon/lime(ectoplasm)
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Lemon lime kool aid packet and about 375ml of vodka. Add sugar if you want it to be drinkable because I, a fool, forgot for a second and boy it tasted kind of chemical in a way cheap vodka, artificial citrus flavor, and citric acid only can. Sugar, actually makes it taste good. Like a very boozy sprite flavor 6.5/10
Waffle (Steph Brown/Spoiler)
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Brown butter washed vodka sweetened with pancake syrup. Don’t use real maple syrup. This is going for waffle crisp cereal taste and you’re going to get closer with pancake syrup than the real thing, or even light brown sugar. 7/10 its fun and tastes nice
And that’s all I got so far. Overall these have all been surprisingly okay to even delicious. Thanks to everyone that made suggestions it’s been interesting at the very least. I might revisit this soon considering I still have vodka and jars
Let me know if you try any of these
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featherandferns · 11 months
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Smut with prompt 1 if that’s alright <3
In retrospect, this is not what I had in mind when I said surprise me.
Um, I got REALLY carried away so basically have a short-fic???
feel free to request: prompt list
Happy Anniversary - prompt 1
JJ’s never had an anniversary before. The longest ‘relationship’ he’s been in, before you, lasted a whole two weeks in ninth grade. The farthest they went was holding hands, and that was only because their friends wouldn’t stop heckling for them to. So, when JJ casually asked you what you wanted to do for your one-year anniversary whilst the two of you were walking back from the beach, you shrugged and said possibly the worst answer you could’ve given him. “Surprise me.”
JJ isn’t heartless. He knows what girls like, inside the bedroom and outside. He knows how to woo someone. What to say to have them all mushy and blushing and stuff. Hell, it’d clearly worked with you. But was he romantic? Now that’s a different thing entirely.
It didn’t help that you were rather low maintenance. That you were more than content with date nights that involved surfing and smoking and sometimes a late-night walk. Staying and watching a movie, usually ending up with the film completely neglected and your clothes on the floor. Dinners and presents and all of that weren’t as much your style. You weren’t against them, per say, but as a broke cut-resident yourself, you didn’t care about all the finer things in life.
“Why don’t you buy her a necklace?” John B offers from the deckchair.
“She doesn’t really wear necklaces,” JJ replies from the hammock. “She just has this one chain with her mom’s wedding ring on it. Always wears it.”
“A book?” Pope says.
“Not much of a reader,” JJ returns.
“Why don’t you do something for her instead of buying her something, then?” Kiara tries.
JJ sits up at that, frowning at her. “What’d ya mean?”
“Well, she seems like the kinda girl who likes doing things.”
“Oh, definitely,” JJ replies with a growing smirk.
Kie rolls her eyes at the innuendo. “JJ, gross. I mean, she’s always surfing or crocheting or whatever.”
“I don’t know shit about crocheting,” JJ tells Kie. “She does like to cook though. Makes the best lemon sea bass ever.”
“Why don’t you cook for her then?” Sarah says.
John B and Pope burst into laughter. JJ glares at them, unamused.
“What?” she innocently asks.
“JJ’s level of cooking is a piece of toast,” John B says.
“And even that’s got a fifty-fifty chance of success,” Pope adds.
“Fuck you guys! I can cook! How hard can it be? You just follow a recipe and throw some shit in a pan and then boom,” JJ challenges. They stare up at him, amused and unconvinced. “I can cook!”
“What’s her favourite meal?” Kie asks.
“She likes Italian,” JJ thinks aloud. “Maybe spaghetti and meatballs or something?”
“You’re going to make spaghetti and meatballs? Something that requires three different things being done simultaneously?” Pope asks him, eyebrows raised so high they nearly teeter on greeting his hairline.
“Watch me, golden boy,” JJ grins self-assuredly.
The only form of reply the blonde boy gets is John B digging into his pockets and pulling out a five-dollar bill, which he then holds out to Pope in bet.
~*~*~*~*
The first thought you have as you walk up the porch steps of the chateau is ‘what the hell is that smell?’ It’s something akin to burning, though tinged with an overwhelming stench of garlic and tomato. The second thought you have as you open the door is ‘oh dear God.’
You’re greeted by a cloud of smoke and steam. It stings yours eyes a little. There’s chaos in the kitchen ahead. The clattering of pots and pans and JJ’s mumbled curses. The fact that the fire alarm hasn’t gone off can only mean that it’s broken. Smiling smally to yourself, amused, you dump your bag and cardigan on the pull-out sofa and walk through to the kitchen.
“In retrospect, this is not what I had in mind when I said surprise me,” you say, loud enough for him to hear you over the madness of his cooking.
JJ spins around at the sound of your voice. His hair is sticking in every which way (cap clearly abandoned) which only tells you he’s been stressfully raking his fingers through it. His eyes are wide and frantic like a man who just committed murder. Muscle tee damp with sweat from the overwhelming warmth that is standing in an unventilated kitchen of mayhem.
“I told you to come at eight,” he says.
You quirk a brow. “It is eight.”
“Wha—” His eyes flit to the clock on the wall, to the right of you. He cusses under his breath.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m…Well, I’m…”
You watch as he looks around at the chaos, as if coming to from sleepwalking. Your brow quirks higher still. “Starting a small house fire?”
“Cooking you dinner,” he corrects, shooting you a glare. “For our anniversary.”
Your smile can’t help but grow at that. Heart does a little summersault. He’s never cooked you dinner before (and now you can see why).
“Spaghetti and meatballs,” JJ adds, driven by your expression it seems. But then his confidence dwindles as he gestures lamely to the hob. The smoke and steam coming from it is the source of the garlic-tinged smell monstrosity. “But it’s, uh, not exactly going to plan.”
“In what way?”
“Well, to start, the pasta isn’t going all soft and stuff. It’s just sorta sticking to the pan,” he sighs, annoyed.
“Well, how much water did you add to it?”
He looks to you, blank. “I’m supposed to add water?”
You stare at him, gaping a little. Seriously?
Walking to the hob, looking down into the pan…Yep. That is just pasta, glued and burnt and probably never coming free. Then, you glance into the second pan. Pasta sauce that is weirdly brown-ish in colour, saturated with garlic (you can tell from smell alone) and mixed herbs that haven’t been diced properly, leading them to float at the top like driftwood. The meatballs are burnt past the point of no return. Chargrilled. The cooking top is covered in splatters of sauce and seasonings, making it filthy. The countertops are cluttered with every cooking utensil and appliance under the sun: spoons, knives, spatulas and even whisks (?). A bowl of grated cheese sits sadly to the side; the only thing that survived JJ’s culinary hand.
But, despite the catastrophe that it is, you can’t help but feel your heart thrum happily. Ironically, it’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever had done for you and is weirdly the perfect anniversary celebration. All of this took thought and time and effort. So, turning around, facing a very meek, embarrassed JJ who stands with his back against the fridge, hands shoved in his pockets and head hung in defeat, you find yourself smiling lovingly.
Your hands cradle his jaw, drawing his gaze to you, and you lean forward to kiss him. “I love it.”
“You do?”
“I do,” you assure. “And I love you.” Then you’re kissing him again.
JJ’s hands find home on your waist as he kisses you back, smiling. Pulling away after a moment, a little breathless, you glance over your shoulder. “I love it,” you repeat, “but I don’t think we should eat it.”
“Oh, definitely not,” JJ agrees quickly. The two of you laugh.
Another fleeting kiss and then you’re stepping out of his hold, the two of you moving to turn everything off. You toss the pan of pasta into the sink and run the tap, dunking half a bottle of washing up liquid in. Maybe that might give it a fighting chance. JJ half-arsedly piles up all the cooking utensils he’d used so there’s some more space. He then moves to the fridge to put away the grated cheese (no point letting it go to waste) whilst you tip the sauce and meatballs down the drain or into the bin.
“So, the main course might have been a bust,” JJ says with his head still in the fridge.
You chuckle as you lean to crack open every window in the kitchen, hoping to aerate the room. “To put it lightly.”
“But, hey: dessert and wine are still good,” JJ announces.
You shut off the tap and turn around, wiping your hands dry on a towel. He’s holding a tub of chocolate mousse and a bottle of cheap white wine up.
“Dessert’s the best course anyway,” you tell him with a grin that mirrors his own.
With that, the two of you head to the pull out. You swipe two spoons from the drawer on the way whilst JJ grabs a couple of mismatched wine glasses. Sighing as you sit, shuffling back to the pillows, you get to opening the wine. JJ’s wandering around the sitting room, messing with the old CD player, and as you’re filling up two glasses, some soft R&B music kicks on from the early 2000s.
“Oh?” you jokingly say, raising a brow at him.
He rolls his eyes and joins you, taking the outstretched glass you offer him. Smiling, you lean up to kiss him.
“Happy anniversary,” you whisper.
He clinks his glass to yours. “Happy anniversary, baby.”
The two of you drink and then JJ’s placing his glass on the window ledge, moving to open the mousse. You clap your hands happily, rubbing them together with a giggle.
“This might taste like shit,” JJ warns as he grabs one of the spoons. You place your glass on the side too.
“Can’t be much worse than your cooking,” you reply.
He decides not to respond to that, but you watch him roll his eyes mirthfully. Then he’s dipping the spoon in and holding it out for you. Leaning forward, you taste off the spoon.
“Mhm!” you nod, swallowing.
“Good?”
“Good!” you grin.
You take the other spoon and do the same for him, watching as he eats practically from the palm of your hands. His eyes hold your gaze as he does. Shamelessly, you squeeze your legs together. You swear only he could make something this cheesy sexy to you.
“You like it?” you wonder. He licks his lips.
“It’s alright,” JJ says, feigning being in thought (his growing smile giving him away). “Think I know something that tastes better.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm,” he nods, leaning closer until you’re subconsciously sinking onto your back.
Playing along, you innocently ask through your excited smile, “what would that be?”
He takes your spoon from your hold, tossing it to the side after doing the same with his. Hovering over you, JJ leans down so his lips are a breadth’s width from yours.
“I think you know, baby,” he mumbles.
With that, he’s kissing you. Tastes like chocolate and vino. Your hands grab at his face, pulling him nearer, hooking your feet over his legs. JJ sighs against you, chuckles a little as you do too. Breaks away to kiss down your neck, moving slowly down the bed, coming to rest on his knees and dragging you by your feet to pull you nearer, making you laugh all flustered-like. JJ chews on his lower lip, grinning that punch-drunk grin you love, as he pulls off your skirt and panties. Then he’s going down on you. Relentless and unforgiving, as if to make-up for the cooking catastrophe. He’s tongue-fucking your centre and lapping at your wetness.
“Fuck, JJ,” you whimper, eyes slipping shut.
It’s like he’s spurred on by the sounds you make, likes when you whine out his name. You grip at the blankets on the pull-out sofa, staring at the ceiling, moaning through a blissed-out smile. His thumb rubs at your clit as he works at you with newfound fever. Moaning from the taste of you, the sound making you clench your legs tighter against his head. JJ uses a hand to hold one of your legs open for him. It’s all so fucking good. You’re building, closer and closer, until you’re coming with a gasp, quietly chanting his name.
When JJ pulls away, panting, you whine at the loss of his mouth on you. Moving atop of you again, you kiss at his mouth, sighing at the taste of yourself that lingers on his tongue. Your hands hurriedly move to undo his shorts as he kisses you, making him chuckle.
“Need you to fuck me,” you tell him breathlessly.
“Yes, ma’am,” he grins, moving to suck a hickey on your jawline.
Shucking the shorts off – JJ pulling back a moment to help – you slip a hand into his boxers and work at him. He groans against your jaw, falling pliant to your touch, making you smile. But you’re impatient the way he is, and you shove off his boxers.
“I wanna be on top,” you say as he kisses your neck.
“Fuck yes,” he replies. Climbs off you and grabs for your hips, guiding you atop of him as he collapses onto his back. You’re guiding him to your entrance, moaning as he slides against your wetness. As you go to sink down, he’s stopping you, making you meet his gaze. “Wait! We need a condom.”
You shake your head. Move to sink down again.
“Baby, stop, I’m serious,” JJ chuckles, breathless.
Smiling to yourself, you lean down to kiss him. Then, against his lips, you tell him your anniversary gift to him. “I’m on the pill.”
JJ pulls you away from him by the jaw so he can meet your eyes. Through nothing but looks, the two of you have a quick, silent conversation. Really? Yes. Chuckling boyishly, kissing you again, deeper and rushed, you giggle against him.
“Happy anniversary, baby.”
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ynbabe · 9 months
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TASM!Peter x Male reader- incorrect quotes
Cause that boy was fruity as FUCK and we were ROBBED! ROBBED I SAY-
Y/n: We’ll get back into there or die trying. Peter, trying to Spidey: No one’s dying. Y/n, a civilian, just trying to help: Not with that attitude.
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Peter: Y/n likes to win. When he were 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged they could sell the most cookies. Peter: Damned if Y/n didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes. Y/n: Best part is, I wasn't even a Club Scout.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Harry, after someone insulted Peter: Murder literally doesn’t hurt anyone! Peter: What are you talking about? Of course— Y/n, holding out a hand to shut Peter up: No, no, he has a point—
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Gwen: But what about Y/n? Harry: Don't worry about him. Harry: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened. Peter: Well, you were the one who pushed him.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Harry, professional instigator: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire? Y/n, professional fool: Microwave for 40 minutes. Gwen, professional ‘my boys are stupid’ boys haver: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?! Y/n: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn’t own any pots… Peter, currently microwaving a grape: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?! Y/n: Microwave for 40 minutes.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Peter: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Harry: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Gwen: Wasps? Y/n: Terriers? Peter: Y/n.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Gwen, watching Peter and Harry fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt? Y/n, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other. Gwen: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three? Peter, with superhuman powers but a Y/n lover: Y/n. Harry,  doesn’t want Peter to kill him: Y/n. Y/n, delusional and gay: Me.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Harry: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Peter: That's deep. Y/n: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Peter: That's deeper. Gwen: ...You guys are idiots
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━.
Peter: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Gwen: No, that's not how you make cookies. Harry: FLOOR IT!! Peter: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Gwen: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Peter: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Y/n: DO IT! Gwen: NO-
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Gwen: Blue M&Ms are the best. Y/n: whAT IS THIS SLANDER? Gwen: What about it? They are. Y/n: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER! Y/n: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST! Gwen: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO! Peter, trying to stop them: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything. Harry, to stop peter from stopping them: I like the yellow ones. Gwen and Y/n: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Peter: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Gwen, exasperated: WHY?!? Gwen points at Y/n: YOU HIJACKED A COP CAR! Gwen points at Harry: YOU NEARLY TRIED TO KILL PETER! Gwen points at Peter: AND YOU THREW YOURSELF INTO A STORM MADE OF LIVING ELECTRICITY! Gwen: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Gwen, in a room with Peter, Harry, and Y/n: It’s calm in here. Gwen: It scares me…
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Harry: *is hugging Peter* Y/n: Hey! It's my turn to hug Peter! Y/n: *grabs Peter* Harry: *pulling Y/n off Peter* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Y/n: No, It's my turn! Peter: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because you guys tried to kill me doesn't mean you can be hugging me to apologise constantly! Y/n: But we need the moral support! Harry: And you're small! Which is cute! Y/n: If we don't hug you right now I think our guilt will kick in and our bodies will stop functioning. Peter: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.
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dogwoodbite · 4 months
Text
OPEN FACE EGG N TOAST SANDWICHES
The Classic:
- ciabatta + mayonnaise + dijon + fried egg
- everything bagel + cream cheese OR goat cheese + fried egg + sriracha
The Frenchboy:
- ciabatta + brie + salami + honey + fried egg
- ciabatta + brie + honey OR fig preserves + fried egg
- ciabatta + brie OR sharp cheddar + dijon OR honey + apple + fried egg
The Provincial Lady:
- ciabatta + goat cheese + honey + fried egg
- ciabatta + goat cheese + arugula + lemon juice / vinagrette + fried egg
Fancy Restaurant Burger:
- ciabatta + sauteed mushroom + sliced / sauteed / carmelized onion + fried egg
Poor Man's Lox Bagel:
- whatever bagel + cream cheese + red onion + tomato if you want + i never have capers around but use those probably + fried egg + smoked paprika
SWAP THINGS AROUND! REMOVE WHATEVER! SEASON YR EGGS HOWEVER YOU WANT! MAKE EM YOURS I DONT CARE
TRY MY EGG SANDWICHES BOY
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dragonsdendoodles · 3 months
Text
MPHFPC Incorrect Quotes Masterlist 1
Because I like organizing things :)
next list statistics
No Murder in Walmart
Sitting on the Floor
Stop Undressing Him
You Never Let Me Do Anything
Upside Down Chip Bag
Thumb Condom
Jacob Knows Everything
Lemon Drop Cookie
I Didn't Get My Permit
Suck It
Cocoon Boy
Picnic
Something to Complain About
Patient
A Day of Sensory Issues
Cool Guy Stuff
Watch Me
Egg Shortage
Forgotten How to Fingers
The Last Thing You Registered
Purple
That's a Cockatoo, Actually
Grenades
Can I Cut You?
What's the Point
Adulting
No Thank You
Caffeine and Sugar
Suspicious
Attention Disorder
I Wonder How Painful It Would Be
Daddy Issues
Roadkill
Like Children
Not Short
The Power of Salt
Today's Just Out For My Blood Evidently
Dehydrated
Counterproductive
No Coffee Fuck Off Part 1
Crazy Religious People
The ADHDs
I'm Causing You Pain
Cunt is My WORD, Jacob
Sunset
Morals
Mini Cooper
Dumb Joke
Power Wash
Jelly Beans?
Attention Whore
Five-Second Rule
Lick
Only a Little Bit Satanic
And Whose Fault is That?
You Gotta Dab When You Leave
Bean Water Part 1
/////LIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION/////
*cough* it broke and Levi doesn't wanna fuck with it right now
Bean Water Part 2 (Soy Sass) Yelling It's Your Birthday. Full Circle Mop Juice? An Irish Lad Sugar or Glass Pain in the Ass You Haven't Eaten All Day You're Gonna Papercut My Eyeball! Oh! Helping It's Still 10 pm Have You Lost Object Permanence? NOT a Bean Macaroni You've Met Me That's What She Said British Football No Coffee Fuck Off Part 2 Stop Tickling Me No Comfort Pull Door Not a Child Basically Cake Hugging Lobotomy Hazard to Society You're Just Weak Breakfast of Champions Gifties You Almost Got Me Arrested Cocaine, Obviously Temperature Gun Is That Cheese or Skin? Anarchy Spoons Chip Box Chips Headcanon for Christians The Fuck Word Knives Last Name The Gays Are Coming I Want the Floor
Currently Unposted:
Go to College Since You're Old, and Deaf You've Never Seen a Chalkboard? You Like Trains? Testing Pillows Cheese Part 1 Cheese Part 2 Good Place to Get a Rock I Can Commit War Crimes Matte Black Range Rover Homophobic That's Called Death 10-4 Humidity Pilot Jumping Enoch Stop Drinking Water Okay, Millard Eating You Jelly We Like Murder 12:30 Part 1 12:30 Part 2 Fidget Toy of the Day Gay Month is Dead You Have a Boyfriend? Millard's Book I Prefer "Blessed", Thanks Migraine Are You Crazy? You Dumb Whore I Want a Challenge Spite Debt is Better Not Country Fancy Boy Stop Acting Dead You're Only 5'6 You Are a Smoothie Gaytor Last One at the Table New Nike Motto Even More White Sleep In Dodge Charger Pride Support Group Smudgy Pen Speaking British No Textbooks I Look So Gay Kind of Correctly North Dakota Peanut Allergy It's Fucking Labor Day Light the Hotel on Fire You Know What Else is Weird? Enoch You Do Share Credit Score Wasteful Flannel Bisexual Not an Advocate That is So Real Universal Flannel Who WINKS Anymore? Honest Cars Exploding Watch Your Pronouns Dead Things Chronically Straight Great Liquid Personal Taste Boyfriend Privileges 1:07 Cigarettes? Nerds Gummies I Want a New Brother Out of Character That's Because You're Old Foaming? Big Fork Trigonometry Boy Voice Anxiety Squishy Swedish Fish I'm a Ginger, What Do You Think Oh My God, it's a Man Lengthed Pi Older Than Three Slap-able Catboy Homosexual French Boy and Homosexual Bitch Boy Icing Gremlin 1 and Gremlin 2 No Murder at Walmart: The Sequel Tomatoes No More Husband, Horace The Flu Part 1 Triceratops Loving Murder You Know I Don't Colossal Mess Not All Men Habit of Handling Corpses You're Gay What Color is the Rainbow? Skillet The Flu Part 2 Olives Mad at Me SMART-Smart Spaghettios Smug Mac and Cheese Ooo, Yummy You're Also Nice to Me Dressing, But Crunchy 5'11 Gasoline
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rzyraffek · 1 year
Note
Hey was wondering if you could do Michael Myers OG, Jason Voorhees, Bubba Sawyer, and Billy Lenz with a very strong s/o who can pick them up with ease. Please and thank you ❤️
yass i cannn BTW HI GUYS IM BACK FROM MY 2MONTH BREAK!! HAPPY FIRST OF JANUARY!!! YALL IM SO HAPPY TO WRITE STUFF FOR YALL AGAIN :D
You didnt say what pronouns to use so imma go with they/them!! Request are open! but prepare for long wait, cuz i have like 5fics waiting to be written
Slashers with Strong!S/O!! picking them up!!
Voorhees Jason
that the guy was flabagastered is a understatement
He went all blushy and shy!! I swear he would do lil giggle if he could!!
Jason is very happy!! He never been picked up, not only because he is a serial killer but also noone is strong enough! But they! They are! His s/o is so cool!
He will shake his hands in exitment and hug them laterz
Myers Micheal og
Before i start i wanna flex i got Micheal and Laurie action firugines on chrismas and they are vibing on my shelf (they are sitting together and behind them theres a colection of diosaur toys/figurines)(im super cool and epic i know no need to comment that i know)
Please give him a warning before they do so! he will get jumpscared and yeet them!
Man got consfused! like he bearly got used to normal kind human touch and now they are litteraly picking him up like hes a lemon-weighing shmol bean (micheal in size of lemon?)
He will pretend this never happend due to embarassment, like he thinks he is somehow less cool when he realised they can easly just pick him up
"Awww mikey pls forgor me, i just wanted to see if I can pick you up!" ">:["
Bubba Sawyer
ma boi turned tomato in seconds!
Is so cool!! How much stuf are they able to pick up!!
After s/o is done with picking him up, he will pick them up too! See?? He is strong too!! :D
He will try to convince them to pick Drayton up (maybe throw him somewhere pls )
Billy Lenz
(i missed writing about this silly goof so much)
Man is a raccon
He will instantly try to bite off they arms/hair/ whatever he sees
But if it wont jumpscare him, he will feel flustared and accually very nice! its rather calming to be carried by s/o
Please do it more! Especially while they are hugging and s/o just picks him up like bag of potatos and moves to other room or something
He will giggle and blush like little goof he is!
Also he is little prankster! He does a lot of mischievous crimes (stealing their s/o food) so imagine him trying to steal their food at like 4am and being all sneaky! Only for them to yoink him, carry him to bed and just continue sleeping!
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slocumjoe · 1 year
Note
could i get your take on what the companions (or just my favorite boy X6's) top 10 fave candies/foods would be in a modern AU?
anon you are in luck, because I am constantly thinking about the diets and eating habits of my blorbos
The numbered list isn't in any particular order, it's just so I don't have to manually count each point
so
What the companions would eat if not in a post apocalypse
Cait; Wouldn't have a taste for fancier cuisine. Eats more...hick-ish. I can say that because I was a hick with this kind of diet, growing up. Has a taste for filling, cheap, low-effort food...think lots of fast food, but "healthier" fast food. Like Chipotle, Panera, etc. Can cook, doesn't often, but will if she has a craving. Savory or tart tastes. She tends to eat lighter than you'd expect.
Blueberry brownie anything, favors dark chocolate in general
Submarine sandwiches, anything with pickles
Key lime pie
Salt and vinegar chips and thinks critics of such chips are cowards
Peach Redbull, any energy drinks though
Storebought hummus and Doritos, has been seen eating hummus with just a spoon though
Blueberry bread pudding. Simple to make, fun to eat, very comforting. Buys her bread already stale from a local bakery, has a guy to hook her up with the old shit
Seafood chowder
Sausages in any capacity. Jerky sticks, breakfast sausage, etc. Loves chorizo.
Honey buns from the gas station
Curie; Health nut, she eats like every influencer claims they eat like. Only, Curie actually eats like that. Lots of fresh foods and whole grains, little red meat. However, Curie makes a point to have foods that other health nuts would condemn, thinks its really important to not label any food as "bad." So, she balances between health nut and normal person. Her taste leans toward bright and/or sweet. Dislikes red meat.
Salmon breakfast wraps
Tropical fruit smoothies, eats so much pineapple
Iced tea, favors raspberry. Never seen without an iced tea of some kind
Halibut tacos, likes red cabbage and a fuck ton of lemon on it. Soft shells all the way
Bananas foster
Whipped brie dip, eats it with anything but loves it on apples, basically dessert
Lemon pepper grilled chicken and rice
So many salads, loves that you can just throw shit in a bowl and call it a recipe. Likes strawberries and almonds
Lemon poppyseed muffins
Shrimp and bitter melon stir fry
Danse; mixed bag. One on hand, small town diner tastes. Simple, cheap, good ol' American food. On the other, he's doomed to be a soldier in every universe he's in, so...maybe he picks up some tastes and dishes from places he's toured. Gets a weird pallate that shoots in all directions and makes you wonder what it's like in that thick skull. One day he's a good American boy with pancakes and steak, the next he's eating cake mix dry and drinking tahini from a flask.
Anything BBQ, but a pulled pork devotee
Hot coffee so heavily creamed and sugars it looks like milk. He likes the twix combo of chocolate, shortbread, and caramel flavors
Prepackaged baked goods a la Hostess, fucks up little Debbie oatmeal cookies
Apple and pecan pie
Menemen—Turkish dish, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, bell peppers, spices to taste, and (controversially) onions. Adds sausage and cheese, eats it with a fork or spoon (its meant to be eaten with bread)
Khachapuri—Georgian cheesy bread with egg. Eats with a knife and fork. (its meant to be eaten with the bread crust)
Smores pop tarts
Beef and potato stew
Rice bowl with fried egg and avocado, bonus points if it has bacon
Straight cookie dough/brownie/cake batter, usually when he's black out drunk and cannot shame himself out of eating raw egg products.
Deacon; Very childhood comfort food. Y'know, things you had as a kid, but probably grew out of a bit? Eats out of gas stations/takeout frequently. Very open flavor pallete, has tried everything he's had the chance to. Likes one-handed food, stuff you can have the other hand free for. Doesn’t really have a 'theme', has broad horizons for his diet. Likes lighter, mild flavors, though. He eats lightly and on the go a lot.
Hot/corn dogs, taste in hot dog toppings varies
Egg salad sandwiches
French fries and vanilla ice cream, classic combo
Mango sticky rice
Cornbread with any accompaniments. Likes honey or chili, thinks if you have a drink with cornbread, you ain't a real cornhead
Penne alla vodka
Cucumber salad. This could mean a salad with cucumbers, that trending Asian recipe where you cut the cumber so its springy, or eating a cucumber like a hotdog.
Fried mushrooms
Usually just drinks water but will have gator/powerade when he's working. Likes purple flavor
Captain crunch cereal, loves all cereal though. Prefers the kibble stuff to the berries. Starts philosophical debates about the morality of Trix commercials vs Lucky Charms commercials
Gage; His favorite foods reflect his upbringing. Coastal swamp cuisine, cheap and made in bulk. Take Danse's pallate and hyperlocalize it, and then lower the budget by a good amount. Things he grew up eating. Would gradually replace his favorites with pricier, 'less embarrassing' dishes, distances himself from his origins. However, takes care to not looked too loaded. Smokey and savory flavors are his thing, likes more spice than people expect.
Doberge cake, which is layered with pudding, often half-chocolate and half-lemon
Red beans and rice, with stewed pork if they could afford it
Blackened fish of any kind, liked it with cilantro-lime rice
Steak with potatoes and/or eggs
Chronic iced tea drinker like Curie, though he prefers the bitter kinds
Scallops
Brussels sprouts defender and will fight for their honor
Peaches
Was introduced to curry during a business meeting/outing. Could drink that shit from a glass, has it with potatoes and porkchops.
Lobster anything. This is one of those 'less embarresing' things, but he genuinely enjoys a good lobster roll. Even if he prefers a freshly-caught lobster bisque. Again, something he had growing up, something he pushes away.
Hancock; Similar to Deacon, but favors fatty, greasy food. No, it's not the drugs, that's just his metabolism. He's a skinny twink, always starving, can never put on weight. Eats as much as Danse, who is a big guy and needs more calories than most. He's really into street food and foreign dishes, won't eat at a restaurant if they speak fluent English or have good customer service. IYKYK. Very comfort food heavy, lots of "this would slap with Netflix at 2 am"
A classic oxtail, mac and cheese, and collard green take out combo
Any and all American-chinese take out, usually gets eggplant tofu with chow mein and cream cheese rangoons
"Walking tacos", those things where you open a small bag of chips and dump White People taco makings in. Probably just tips the whole thing into his mouth
Yakitori, Japanese chicken skewers, popular bar food
Bloody Mary cocktails
Pizza, will fight for the honor of pineapple. Would really be into how Brazil does pizza
Frozen yogurt and ice cream, piles with toppings
Breakfast sandwiches or wraps. Egg, meat, cheese, doesn't matter the time nor specifics.
Jam donuts, loves cherry fillings
Puppy chow/muddy buddies, chex cereal covered in chocolate and powdered sugar. Eats his weight in them if not careful
MacCready; forces himself to learn how to cook for Duncan's sake, but for himself...good God. It's horrible. Eats like garbage. Would never drink water if not to set an example. Take out, frozen food, so much candy and soda. After Duncan, broadens his horizons. Finds he really likes soups. Just throw shit in a pot and it works. Eats on a budget, so that's a life-saver. Doesn't have a preferred flavor pallete, aside from his love of candy.
Meat lover's pizza. Thinks pineapple has no place on pizza
Used to drink Mountain Dew and diet coke, replaced it with iced teas and more organic fruit juices for the sake of his teeth
Chicken soup, either from a can, or homemade. Either way, slaps. If homemade, blends veggies for a hidden veggie stock. For him, Duncan is a lot better at eating veggies, MacCready needs to trick himself.
Sour rainbow ropes
Cookie crisp cereal, thinks whoever came up with it deserved the sloppiest head. Incredible design, no notes
Cheese and sour cream chips
Famous Amos cookies
Eggo waffles
Gnocchi is God to him. Its superior to all noodles and makes your Shit In The Fridge soup 1000 times better.
Rice pudding is cheap, easy, and a surprisingly efficient sweet-tooth satisfier. Makes it with pumpkin spice mix or chocolate.
Nick; Home-cooked meals all the way. Could kill himself with cheese and die happy. Lots of easy meals and snacking so he can keep working, but will treat himself to a nice, hard-earned dinner when he has the time and energy. Likes himself the smokey, the fresh, or the sour. Probably knows all the best sub shops in the city, probably in a turf war with regulars of rival shops. Jewish delicatessens are like church to him.
Lasanga. Most of his freezer space is lasagna. Eats so much of it. He's lactose intolerant. It hurts but it hurts so good
Latkes. Fried potato things, kind of like hashbrowns, except the potato is mashed/ground instead of grated. And yes. Also pastrami. But those little potato bitches...mmmph.
Red velvet muffins with cream cheese frosting.
Fried cheese in any capacity
A prosciutto, arugula, brie, and fig sandwich
Pickled pearl onions
Cobb salad
Black coffee. Temp doesn't matter, because he's going to forget it until its room temp.
Has been known to enter fugue states and consume an absurd amount of Chicago style hot dogs
Scones or just plain bread with butter and jams
Piper; Broke college student trying to make it as a reporter. Her tastebuds are fucked, they salivate not for flavor, or texture, but for those good, good low prices. Piper's diet is almost entirely snackfood or takeout. If she ever cooks, it's for Nat. But when taking care of just herself, Piper eats from a box or bag. When she does cook, it's very simple meals. Loves her carbs and her fruit flavors
Chicken Ramen with canned chicken and frozen broccoli chucked in. Also makes this for Nat
Hot cheetos, eats with chopsticks
Spaghetti and meatballs
Fruit smoothies/smoothie bowls, blends in veggies as well for the nutrition
Coka cola and anything from Fanta, loves fruit sodas
Anything carbs and I mean that. Eats a lot of bread, pasta, cakes, potatoes...they're the sweetheart of anyone on a budget.
Buffalo cauliflower, likes it more than Buffalo chicken
Chewing gum. Fruit flavors only, hates mint gum. Likes mint elsewhere, just not in gum.
Nickle-nips and other "jelly/juice in a wax package" candies. Likes the charm of it, also, free chewing wax
Suckers/lollipops, big on hard candy in general but the stick satisfies her smoking habit.
Preston; A mix of easy depression/bulk meals and dishes from his childhood. Lots of spices, cooks with a lot of straight peppers. Tends to eat his food 'raw', not made into a dish. Again, easy and quick to eat. Also tends to buy pre-prepared stuff for the same reason, buys more fruits and veggies and just eats them straight. Doesn't care about eating healthy, he just lacks energy to cook most days.
I have no choice to explain this as it has no name. Casserole dish, layer of mashed potatoes, layer of shredded or chunked chicken, layer of white breakfast gravy or brown poultry gravy, top with drop biscuits. It's buttery, its savory, it is white as snow. Easy, cheap, one ladlefull is dinner. You'll get a few meals out of it, and it's so filling you have like, five minutes before you're stuffed. I call it gut-glue.
Dirty rice
Eggs scrambled with spinach
Jollof/jambalaya
Veggies and hummus or ranch
Various fruits and berries such as grapes, cherries, blackberries, and oranges
Shakshouka, eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce and eaten with bread
Chicken biscuits, crackers dusted with, like, chicken bouillon? They taste like a chicken Ramen packet sneezed on a ritz
Slurpees/Icees/those syruped gas station ice drinks
Straight peppers, eats bell peppers like apples. Eats pickled jalapeños and scotch bonnets to feel something. Drinks the liquid in pickle jars instead of alcohol, or mixes it with gelatin and makes pickle jello.
X6-88; Pretensious rich asshole who eats like it. He rarely cooks for himself, probably has a personal chef or something. Maybe his work has their own restaurants, like Google. Eats mostly vegetables, but his favorite foods skew from "Dubai Influencer" to "12 year old who earned too much lawn mowing money and was let loose in a convenience store." So much sugar. Willy Wonka's factory is his idea of heaven and until it exists, he's an atheist.
Raw meats. Steak and tuna tartar, sashimi, and sushi
Braised duck with cherries
Nduja, a spicy pork sausage spread, has it with flatbreads
Oysters. Eats them all fancy in public, eats them from a tin with doritos at home
Anything from Hostess, Little Debbie, those brands. Fucking anything. However, would kill a man for any kind of Swiss roll
Chocolate milk
Gummies, very picky with brands, hates the harder kinds like Haribo. Wants his gummies soft as a marshmellow
Cadbury eggs
Milano dark chocolate cookies
Gushers
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unexpectedplantblr · 25 days
Text
I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PLANTS. UNSOLICITED ADVICE ABOUT ANYTHING PICTURED ON THIS BLOG EAGERLY WELCOMED.
running list of identified plants on my property:
fruiting
lemon 🍋 (myers suspected)
cherry 🍒 x 2 (one is tagged rainier cherry)
peach 🍑 x 3 (one is tagged black boy dwarf peach)
apple 🍎 x 3 (one is tagged vanilla ice cream apple, which i suspect is a unique hybrid.)
pear 🍐 x 2 (one i am still not positive of)
plum x 3 (one is tagged coe’s golden drop)
pomegranate
fig (and fig and fig and fig. i see chainsaws in my future)
mulberry x 2 (will remain in their pots until further notice)
lemon cucumber 🥒 (new addition, my garden pick)
cherry tomatoes 🍅 (new addition, my moms garden pick)
grape 🍇 x ? (1 found living vine, tagged thompsons seedless. other vine scraps pulled that may not have quite given up yet)
flowering
rose (tagged david austin)
hydrangea
easter cactus (struggling. was my grandmas)
daffodils (were flowering before house purchase now wildly overgrown)
geraniums (hot pink!)
false shamrock
gardenia
friends
giant sequoia
aloe vera x 5+
foxtail fern
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