That’s soo true
when I see queer adults in public im like look at me. look at me. look at me. do you see me? i see you. please recognize me
she loves her so much im fucking miserable
just when i think this silly little webcomic can’t make me any happier
i REALLY need some TLC... trans lesbian cuddles
manhunt part i
a/n: i decided to post this a bit earlier! enjoy <3
warnings: MAJOR MoM SPOILERS! talk of wanda murdering a bunch of people, violence, ominous wanda
wanda maximoff can’t think straight, her mind is invaded by the scarlet witch, she needs to get rid of her. no, she needs to get rid of the darkhold. in a split second decision, with the interest of saving both wanda and the scarlet witch, the redhead destroys the darkhold. closing her eyes as the rubble falls around her, the scarlet witch escapes, and the chaos is over.
the last piece of the plan was “simple.” all the redhead had to do was somehow find her way in the crossfire of one of america’s portals. from there, she’d find a universe in which to lay low.
the plan was in motion, america portal hopped quite frequently actually. when america punched a whole, wanda squeezed her way into it. not even bothering to look at where she was, the scarlet witch took residence on a new earth.
arriving at what she assumed was her westview home, the witch knocked on the door for any sort of answer. the shuffling of feet grasped her attention as she could hear voices.
“billy! open the door, im about to beat this level.”
“you open the door! im taking a practice test.”
the redhead could’ve sobbed in that very moment. her boys, she heard her boys. although they sounded much older. as the door was opened, wanda had to quickly wipe the tears from her eyes.
billy stared at her, his face emotionless. he looked much older, his features more defined, her son was remarkably taller than she could have ever imagined.
“tommy…. come here.”
wanda flinched at the tone. she hardly recognized their voices. when the self proclaimed “cool twin” showed up at the door, the boys took a step back.
“it’s her. it’s mom.”
tommy growled at his brother.
“it’s not mom, it’s the witch. it’s the witch that made her kill all those people, the witch that killed her.”
tommy’s nostrils flared at he stared at the redhead. the tears didnt stop, they kept coming and coming.
“you killed mom.”
“w-what. wh-a. what are you talking about.”
neither of the twins answered. instead they shut the door on her before saying one last thing.
“you’re a monster, and you’ll never be our mom.”
those words hit the redhead like a ton of bricks. her world came crashing around her. she almost wished that she was killed back on wundagore.
so she found a place to reside, and all the emotions hit her at once. the most powerful of them, anger, loomed over her head. the boys were older now, their mom was out of the picture. she absolutely had chance.
wanda wasn’t going to waste that chance, not again.
you strode down the street, airpods in your ears as you walked to the store. the only on your mind for the last 48 hours had been a bowl of cocoa puffs. although an absence of milk and cereal was your problem, a little trip to the grocery store would have that covered in no time.
“nights” by frank ocean played in your airpods as your converse crunched against the pavement. it took all your willpower to not break out dancing in public.
while you were trapped in your own little world, your real world crumbled around you. the last thing you would’ve expected to happen on your thursday afternoon was to see a star shaped portal in the middle of the street. moreover, the last thing you expected was to actually fall through said star shaped portal.
as time and reality ripped through the fabric of the universe and dragged you with it, you felt the contents of you stomach make their way back up.
you fell to the pavement with a groan. immediately grabbing your stomach, you tossed your cookies on the side of the street in which you landed on. as you wiped your mouth, you finally got a good look around.
what you assumed was new york in a different universe, didn’t seem that much off from yours. except for the futuristic looks and reverse rules.
as you continued exploring the parallel universe, a hand grasped your shoulder.
“run. she’s coming. run, now.”
confusion took over your face. who was coming? why did you need to run? your questions were answered by the scarlet smoke coming your way. your blood ran cold as monsters emerged from the smoke. with a roar, the monster narrowed its eyes on you. you didn’t have a chance to run before a speedy force grabbed you and carried you to safety.
“are you okay?”
“i- what? who are you?”
without the ability to form a coherent sentence, you watched as the teen talked to you.
“im tommy, youre safe now okay.”
with a small gulp and a nod, tommy sped the two of you off somewhere.
“what was that? the monsters? what’s happening.”
tommy tried to slow you down before you freaked yourself out too much.
“that was my mom i guess? she’s doing everything i can to get me and my brother or something. i dont know, but she’s a witch, and she is on a war path.”
as you took in the information you became impossibly more scared. this boy’s mom was a witch creating monsters to hunt him and his brother? where the fuck did you land?
you had no way to understand what was happening on that earth before another boy came down the stairs. this must have been his brother?
“umm… what’s your name?”
the twins nodded amongst themselves.
“im billy, i see you already met tommy. just one question, are you from here?”
just as he suspected, all billy did was not. he had studied a bit on the multiverse, but he didn’t know much. his brother on the other hand he dealt with the terror that wanda was causing. doing his best to keep as many people out of danger as he could, tommy was technically the muscle.
“soooo….. that was your mom?”
a sigh left billy’s mouth as he prepared himself to explain the severity and the substance of the situation.
“5 years ago, a version of our mom from another universe kept taking over moms body, something called dream walking? i’m not sure how it works entirely.”
billy took a deep breath and his brother took over the explanation.
“when she would dream walk and take over our mom’s body, she made her do really bad things. i guess she killed the entire illuminati, a bunch of people on a different universe, and nobody really knows how many others. then she left. but when she did, our mom suffered. the injuries and the trauma got the best of her.”
the twins shared a look of sadness before continuing.
“now, that witch is back, she came to our door in tears a few days ago. and now….. she’s killing everyone in her way. i dont even know what she wants from us.”
“she wants you?”
“i think so.”
the twins talked some more while you processed everything that was happening. your thoughts battled with each other, until a new voice joined you inside your head.
what the fuck? how was someone in your head?
“don’t freak out, there’s no reason to be scared, i won’t hurt you so long as you behave. now, i want my sons back, and it seems they are trying to protect you. here’s where you come in honey, you’re going to convince them to hand themselves over to me by tomorrow at midnight. if they don’t…. well it may be your blood on their hands.”
you couldn’t help the fear that swallowed you whole. as a tear rolled down your cheek, the twins seemed to notice.
“she’s in my head.”
the boys looked at each other, then back at you. shit.
wanda smiled at her handiwork. she watched as you completely crumbled in front of her sons. soon she would have the 3 of you right where she wanted you. her babies, and her new plaything.
Let 👏 Robin 👏 say 👏 lesbian 👏
Jodie foster everybody ❤️❤️❤️
You will find people and places you don't have to hide from.
The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe is to gay men what Portal 2 was to lesbians
Seeing Red. | part 1 | w. maximoff series
summary: in which wanda thought she could have all that she ever wanted, but when she finally has it, it doesn’t want her.
warnings: extreme angst, some violence involving blood
this series is for 18+ only. minors: do not interact.
series masterlist | main masterlist
"What happens now?" Strange questioned in a deeply tremulous tone, a glean of sweat evident on his face which had lost its usual stoicism.
A sly smile glided Wanda's lips upwards. Red light cast upon her face and seeped through her usually green eyes, but nonetheless they sparkled insidiously. "You will go to Kamar-Taj and hand over America Chavez before sundown—peacefully. After that..." Her eyes shifted to the side and her plump lips parted as she thought of the joy she could attain once she had America's powers. "You will never see me again."
Giving Strange one last look, Wanda turned and took the Darkhold into her keep, walking away with a smile at the thought of what she would have once she could travel the multiverse. She would have you, her kids, your beautiful life together that she had created in Westview but had to tear down for the sake of keeping her humanity—and it meaning nothing. That was all behind her now, and now that she had a clear path to having you again and keeping her family together, she would do anything and destroy anyone in her way from having that fulfillment she so desperately needed in the very depths of her being.
Then she heard Strange's voice again which caused her to slow her steps and raise her glittering eyes. "And if I don't?" he dared.
Pursing her dark lips, Wanda turned around to face the nervous sorcerer with a look of sheer mortal threat.
"Then it won't be Wanda who comes for her. It will be the Scarlet Witch."
Wanda was tenacious in her voyage to finding you and the boys again. With the Darkhold corrupting her mind and the Scarlet Witch taking over, she had slaughtered dozens of lives without a second thought. While she could feel the blood on her hands and her heart, she was too singlemindedly focused on what she wanted and what she was determined to have.
Destroying Kamar-Taj and murdering the Illuminati was the easy part. Battling Strange over America was her only hiccup, and right when she thought she was down for the count, Strange had a slipup. He underestimated the extent of Wanda's rage, and he failed. Now, with America, Wong, and Strange's zombie corpse all laying in the valleys of Wundagore, covered in layers of snow by now, and with Strange stuck in another multiverse with no way out, Wanda was now imbued with victory, but most importantly, the power to travel the multiverse.
The torches around her throne crackled as she took a deep breath. Her lips pursed as she exhaled slowly, closing her eyes and raising her hands that glowed crimson. Envisioning the 838 Universe she had already not-so-politely visited during her journey of finding America, she pushed her right palm outward.
Red magic shot forward and penetrated the air where a portal formed. A fierce wind blowing the red ends of her hair every which way, Wanda opened her eyes to watch a buzzing portal form in the shape of her crown. Her eyes traveled over the peaks of her crown which were created first, red magic threading itself downwards to the floor almost like a door. With another push of magic from her palm, the portal opened.
A gasp left Wanda's lips. She had been fighting to the bone and dreaming of this moment ever since Westview, and now, in a glorious revelation she had begun to doubt would ever come, she looked through the portal into Universe 838.
She lowered her hands and stepped forward, her sea green eyes wide and glistening. As she entered the warm household, she saw kids' toys scattered all around the living room floor. She could hear the distant sound of her boys playing outside, but what really caught her attention was noise coming from the kitchen. Stepping further through the room, she moved past the staircase and into the kitchen where her eyes landed on something that made her heart beat for the first time in a while.
There you were, standing against the kitchen sink washing dishes. Wanda assumed that you and the boys had just had lunch, and they were in the backyard playing while you cleaned up. Tears welled in her eyes as she watched your beautiful figure. She had seen you before when she dreamwalked, but now she was really here and could touch you again, could truly be with you.
Wanda came closer, and you didn't hear her quiet footsteps because you were humming to yourself and clanking dishes around in the water. Wanda's hands felt like they were vibrating from the inside out the closer she came to you, and as she approached you with eyes full of tears and a broken heart throbbing behind her ribcage, she found the first relief she had felt in ages when she snaked her arms around your waist and pressed her face into your hair.
"Oh!" you exclaimed, jumping at the sudden feeling of Wanda hugging you. You didn't have to turn around to recognize the feeling of her arms around you and body pressed to yours. You laughed as you eased, leaning back into her. "I thought you were outside with the kids."
Hearing the boys' laughter, Wanda peered over your shoulder to look through the window that rested between the cabinets over the sink. She could see Billy and Tommy running around with a soccer ball, kicking it between their legs and trying to steal it from one another. Of course, Tommy was too fast, but Billy simply used his celeste magic to make the soccer ball fly towards himself and catch it. "No fair!" Tommy exclaimed.
A faint smile crossed Wanda's trembling lips, and a tear rolled leisurely down her cheek. She squeezed you tighter, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent of your neck.
"Well, if you weren't going to be outside supervising the children, you could have offered to do dishes," you said in a joking voice as you rinsed off the last plate before grabbing a rag and drying your hands. You squirmed in her hold, wondering why she was squeezing you so hard.
"I missed you," Wanda whispered against your skin, reveling in the feeling of having you in her arms again. She could have died right there and been happy, for as long as she had you, there was nothing she feared, not even death.
"Oh, yes, those 20 minutes sure felt like a lifetime," you joked, setting the rag down and leaning your head back against Wanda's shoulder, placing your arms over hers. Glancing down, your brows furrowed when you saw the condition of her hands that were pressed flat against your front, fingers denting into your flesh. You chuckled and took one of her hands, holding it up to examine the blackness around her fingertips. Did she get into some dirt while she was outside? Certainly not, for her fingers were pitch black from the tip halfway down to the knuckle. "What happened to your..."
It was then you noticed the sleeves on her arms. When Wanda had went outside, she was wearing her light blue sweatshirt. You hadn't heard her come in to change, in fact you hadn't heard her come in at all, and you did not recognize whatever it was she was wearing. You let your finger trail down the dark maroon fabric of the sleeve tight on her arm, seeing splotches of black where red seemingly used to be.
It had been a rough few days for your family. Wanda had been acting strange, and one night she left without telling you only to come back with a gash on her head and scratches all over her body. She had told you that she went out for a jog to clear her mind and had fallen, and while you didn't entirely believe her, you trusted her and let it go.
But what was she wearing? And why had she painted her fingers black?
"Wanda?" you whispered, and before you could voice your concerns, you heard a strange sound come from the backyard. Glancing up, your eyes widened at what you saw.
Through the window you saw Billy and Tommy still arguing over the soccer ball, but then, to your utter shock, Wanda came into view. "Boys," she scolded them gently, placing a hand over the back of their heads to get them to stop fighting.
Your lips parted at the realization that if Wanda was outside, it was not Wanda hugging you from behind. You let go of her hand as your entire body stiffened like a statue in her hold. Breath stalling, your heart began to pound in your chest in pure, unfiltered fear. You were scared to move, to turn around, but you began to slowly turn your face to the side, adrenaline pumping throughout your entire body. As your head turned, you finally saw who it was behind you.
A scream escaped your throat as you jumped away from the person, backing away as you stared up at her. While it seemingly was Wanda, it also was not. Instead of her brunette hair, she had fiery red hair that laid in wild curls over her shoulders. There was a sickly darkness around her wide eyes, and she wore some sort of tattered red suit with a horned crown resting on her forehead. Wanda had told you before about nightmares she had of herself, and what you were staring at was exactly what had been torturing your wife's sleep for months—the Scarlet Witch.
"Y/n," she whispered in a scratchy tone, looking just as frightened as you were. She extended her hands outward in a motion of assurance and came closer, but that only increased your fear.
"Get away from me!" you screamed, circling around and quickly backing away into the living room, pushing a few of the dining table chairs in her path as she followed you.
"Baby, please, calm down. It's me... It's me...," the Scarlet Witch begged you, using her magic to sharply slide one of the chairs out of her way. It was more aggressive than she had meant, the wooden chair slamming into a cabinet and knocking plates down to the floor.
She had Wanda's face and body, her eyes, her voice, but it was not your Wanda. As you looked at her, your face was full of terror, and she read that terror with a sickening sensation. What had she been expecting? She had been so caught up in her determination to find you and the boys that she forgot she was nearly unrecognizable now. But why were you so afraid? It was still her. She was still your Wanda.
As you were backing away, you tripped over the boys' scooter which was laying sideways on the ground. You stumbled and fell backwards onto your butt, and as Wanda suddenly came much closer and bent down to help you up, you kicked your legs out frantically and yelled, "Stop! Get away from me!"
Wanda jumped away from your kicks, her face falling as she felt your words hit her like a punch in the face. She was visibly hurt by your behavior, and while she had felt like herself for a moment, she could readily feel the Scarlet Witch taking over again.
"Y/n," she said in a lower voice. "Stop yelling at me."
You could see the sadness in her eyes harden into frustration as she neared you. Before she could come any closer, you heard the back door open and the sound of two little feet sprinting in. The boys, you thought to yourself in fear, your maternal instinct kicking in. As Wanda turned around at the sound of the boys running in, you quickly scrambled to your feet and grabbed the scooter, picking it and swinging it around by its handle before launching it towards the Scarlet Witch.
To your utter surprise, even with her back turned, she raised a swift hand and used her scarlet magic to halt the scooter right before it could reach her.
In a small explosion of magic, the scooter seemingly bounced right off the force of her magic and went flying towards you. You ducked out of the way as fast as you could, but the very end of it smacked you across the cheek, the metal edge cutting your skin. Letting out a cry of pain, you fell to the ground clutching your throbbing cheek. The wooden floor was cold and sturdy as a deafening, high-pitched ringing sliced through your ears from end to end. You blinked as your vision stretched, a physical echo of the blow still vibrating through your face.
Wanda swiveled around to see you on the floor, not even realizing what she had done. She was so on edge and riled up that she had ricocheted the scooter without even thinking. She was about to fall to the floor to you and desperately apologize, but the boys had just sprinted into the living room and froze upon seeing her.
The Scarlet Witch turned around and immediately grinned upon seeing her boys in all actuality for the first time, but it quickly faded when their innocent eyes glanced to you on the floor, holding the bloody gash on your cheek where the edge of the scooter had cut you from its force. Then they looked back to Wanda, and it was obvious they were conflicted, but at the mere sight of her, they started to scream.
Wanda's eyebrows furrowed. No, no, no, this is all wrong. This was not supposed to happen.
"Get away from her!" Tommy yelled first, leaning down to pick up one of his toys and chunk it at Wanda. Wanda shielded herself with her arm, but as Billy followed Tommy's lead and threw another one at her, she barely was able to shield herself.
"Boys, stop it," she said in a gentle but strained voice, but they picked up more toys and started throwing them at her. "Stop it," she said louder, her voice trembling at the feeling of her own children feeling the need to defend themselves against her. When Tommy picked up a heavier toy and chunked it right towards her face, it triggered something in her. "Stop it!
She hadn't realized how loud she had yelled until she heard her own voice echo throughout the house. Her face was red and full of rage, her eyes wide and crazed like a maniac. The boys froze in fear, dropping the toys in their hands that they had been ready to launch at her.
Then the back door opened, and Wanda’s eyes connected with herself. That universe's Wanda, having heard the screaming and commotion, ran through the kitchen and into the living room. She froze upon seeing herself, the version of herself that had been tormenting her in nightmares, standing there in front of Billy and Tommy. Behind her you were on all fours trying to recover from what just happened, looking up at your true Wanda with eyes full of fear and a bloody gash on your cheek.
Wanda quickly stepped in front of Billy and Tommy, her hands glowing red. "Get away from my family!" she exclaimed, but even as ready as she looked to fight herself to the death, she was full of terror at the sight of herself. How could she have turned into such a thing in another universe? How could she ever hurt the people she loved?
The Scarlet Witch lowered her head, eyes darkening at the sight of her other self. Logically, she couldn't have blamed herself. She knew that in any universe she would protect her family from any harm, but the Scarlet Witch did not see reason because she had spent way too much time being reasonable.
Turning, the Scarlet Witch stomped towards you. You tried to crawl away, but she leaned down and grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling you up to your feet. You cried out in pain, moving your hands to the back of your head to try and pry her hands out of your hair as your feet struggling to find a grip on the floor.
With her other hand, the Scarlet Witch conjured a portal that popped out of nowhere in the air behind her, a glistening red crown forming much faster than it did the first time. It glowed and vibrated with the force of her anger, and through the portal was a darkness you could not make out.
"Let go of her!" your Wanda exclaimed, throwing a red blast towards the Scarlet Witch. Her magic was caught with the witch's free hand and sent right back to her, pushing her backwards until she fell against the end of the staircase.
"Mom!" the boys screamed, running to her as she winced, the stairs having dug right into her back. Her body was still injured from what the Scarlet Witch had put her through, and as she tried to get back up to her feet, she fell down to her knees, the twins catching her and holding her up. She placed her arms in front of them and looked up at the sight of the Scarlet Witch holding you by your hair. Your eyes were full of fear, tears already streaming down them.
"Don't make this any harder for yourself," the Scarlet Witch spoke in a smooth tone, raising her chin as she stared down at Wanda. "I will let you live. You can stay here and continue your peaceful life. Just give me my boys." Her voice trembled upon her last few words, seeing the way Billy and Tommy looked at her in fear.
Wanda's lip curled as she panted from the blow of her fall. "You're not getting anywhere near my children," she growled, her eyes glowing red.
The Scarlet Witch's lips pursed in disappointment at first. She could have easily killed Wanda right then and taken the boys, but the last fragment of morality left in her refused to scar her children in such a way.
But she had a better idea instead, so said the crawling smirk on her lips.
"Fine," she lulled, yanking your hair and causing you to shriek. "Then I'll just take my wife instead."
Wanda's eyes widened as the Scarlet Witch turned around, yanking you along with her, dragging you towards the portal.
"No!" the boys screamed as they watched the witch take you towards the crown-shaped portal. Fear prompted Wanda to jump to her feet and shoot a wave of magic towards the Scarlet Witch, but she had already drug you through the portal, and right when her magic was about to hit the Scarlet Witch in the back, the portal snapped shut.
It was quiet. She saw nothing but the other side of the room. The Scarlet Witch was gone, and she had taken you with her.
"Mom!" the boys screamed, sprinting out of Wanda’s arms and to the space where the portal had been, looking around as if you might still be there.
A cry shook Wanda's shoulders. Where had she taken you? How was she supposed to find you again?
What was the Scarlet Witch going to do to you?
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟖.
parings: best friend mom!natasha x reader
summary: you know it was beautifully wrong when your best friend’s mother kissed your parched mouth. What’s even worse is that she’s a married woman and you’re just her secret affair.
warnings: heavy angst. 18+!
author’s note: i hope you enjoy this part! i had writer’s block while writing this and i’m so sorry if like i didn’t explain this party very well. x
this series is 18+ minors dni! i will block you if you don’t have your age on your bio.
series masterlist || main masterlist || taglist for this series
I’m a person who barely feels things. Such as sadness, anger, empathy, envy, and loads of other shit that you could possibly ever imagine – I. Could. Never. Feel. It.
But when Natasha steps forward into my world, everything seems so different but in such a good fucking way that it’s unexplainable.
Now I do know that she won’t hurt me. I am hurting her, I was hurting her. Although I might be lying when I said she won’t hurt me because she never left her wife when I was still an 18-year-old girl. She stayed – but never was happy. I never fully understood marriage and what it takes to fight for one. Maybe I was naive and in love back then so I felt eviscerated towards her. Maria was her age, I was young. I could’ve been taken advantage of but she wasn’t like that. She’s far from that.
So thank god that I never met her when I was a 17-year-old girl because that would have been a different story.
It was almost time for us to go back to Ohio after long weeks of making love and exploring Italy where we held hands and kissed under the sunset – which is cheesy if I may add but I love it. I compel it. I walked to a small, squared-tile window and shut it with thin lines of the white curtain. I turn and see Natasha putting on her blouse that had buttons down on it while wearing high-waisted denim jeans. She shuffles her hair with her hand and grabs the hairbrush that was on the bed.
“How many days do we have left, my love?” I asked with a melodic tone. I blush when I call her my love since I’ve never really called anyone like that. After all, she was my first in everything which is kind of sad but there are no regrets.
“A few malyshka,” she responded with a smile on her face that lifted all the way to her cheeks. She then grabbed a cigarette from the wooden drawer and lit it with one of her antic lighter that must’ve cost a lot.
“I thought you said you’ll stop smoking?”
She mumbles while placing it on the side of her mouth, “Just only once, detka.”
I only nodded once more and just hummed, not saying anything else. Too afraid that I might upset her. She’s more of a smoker than I am, I quit ages ago. Although that’s not something to degrade for, I just don’t want to be a hypocrite that’s all.
There was a moment of silence between us, I was leaning against the window while watching people who were passing by, a guy with a yellow bicycle just fell over and a white woman came to save him. There were muffled sounds of singing and an amazing tune of guitar far from here and wishing I could walk there right now just to be in that atmosphere. I can smell the thick aroma scent from her cigarette, suddenly my nose itches from it. I looked at her from my side view and asked,
“Will we ever tell Lucy?”
She leans against the wallpapered wall and puffs out the smoke coming from her mouth, sighing deeply.
“I–I don’t know sweet girl,” she says with such shame in her tone that I noticed it too quickly and felt the struggle that was in my view. “If we tell her, I might lose you.”
If I could tell her that I have two thoughts inside of my head if Lucy ever finds out, I would have. One, I'll probably just kill myself and never go through the hardship of losing everyone and number two: go through it. Accept it. And live with it. Sometimes the word homewrecker still wraps around my head and I would be on the bathroom floor sitting down with my legs pressed up against my breast until it was sunrise.
Sometimes I feel so guilty that if I was allowed to meet Natasha in another scenario I would’ve reached for it. But here I am now in my hardest situation whether or not should I tell her. There’s this little part inside of me that she’ll understand and won’t really care much, but that’s hardly going to happen.
“I just don’t want to hurt Lucy,” I whispered under my breath and walked towards her, taking the cigarette off her lips as I inhaled the bud through my mouth, giving it back to her.
“You don’t want to hurt her just because of your happiness? If she’s truly your friend, she’ll understand that.”
“Well, she’s your daughter so think about how she’ll react if she finds out about us.”
She puffs out another smoke, sighing but more audibly since I can hear her crystal clear.
“She’ll–I don’t know, probably dislike me and you for a while.”
It’s a matter of risk that I’m putting myself into. Either I lose Lucy or Natasha, of all people – it’s them that I have to choose over. Something is screaming inside of me: tell her, for your sanity and everyone’s as well. But you barely know the meaning of the term “peace” due to the fact that I’ve never experienced it. I’ve lived with the worst mother, I don’t even know who my biological father is nor have I ever met that man in my entire life. And, I don’t pity myself for it. I guess I go with the motto well, that’s life and I still do live by that. But Natasha is the only woman who understands me. Who can see me. And Lucy too but the more that I look at her, the more hatred I plaster all over myself.
“I know she will,” I whispered without trying to feel that lump in my throat and took the cigarette from her mouth and instead put it from my mouth.
“You have to stop smoking.”
“Occasionally, remember?” I smirked in response. She just chuckled but in such a low octave in her tone.
She took the cigarette away from my mouth and kissed my parched lips gently, holding my jaw in with the palm of her hand. I opened my mouth a little so that her tongue could go deeper. Natasha licks the roof of my mouth, moaning when I accidentally slip my tongue inside of hers and pulls away immediately.
“Let’s not worry about that for now, okay?”
I nodded but still have this fear that in some way, Lucy will find out. She’ll discover the nastiest things that are between me and Natasha and would break her friendship with me because of it. Sometimes I’d blame myself more than I blame Natasha because she didn’t even do anything. I decided to be with her, I decided to sleep with her for the very first time. I made those decisions and I’ve become the most awful person on the planet to have ever existed.
I fear for myself because the more I enticed myself with Natasha the feeling of being in danger is getting nearer and nearer until it swallows me up. I chose not to say anything to Natasha. Because it’s just a stupid feeling.
Everything has been stupid lately.
But not my relationship with her, never that. And maybe this is an emotional feeling, I felt it. Everywhere. Around my fucking body and soul that if I was given a chance to be hit by a car I’d take it so fast.
“I love you, okay? So so much.” she kisses my lips one last time before grabbing her purse and waiting for me outside. I could feel my heart getting heavier every minute I breathe and I just pray to god that I could have the courage to tell Lucy about this whole thing.
After a few weeks in Italy, me and Natasha landed back in Ohio safely. Throughout my trip with her, part of me is that I forgot about possibly everything that has happened in this town and I only worry about my relationship with Natasha. I was very much in love with her – still am – and when we were in that hotel, I felt like I was in this entirely new world that I’d love to restart my life in. the room was reeking of sex, kisses, and our sweaty bodies that were pressed up against each other. We were engrossed with each other’s love, passion, and whatever else is there left. I was addicted to it as she was, it was alluring too.
The more I was with her the more that I got to know her and understand her. I’ve known her ever since I was 18, but not to the point that she shows her real self with me when we were both alone for a whole month. She was very clingy – in a good way – and quiet in such a comforting way. She would only talk if something was bothering her and that was rare because we never really got out of that hotel. We just isolated ourselves and explored each other’s bodies.
“Are you okay?” I turned to my left and nodded at her. She inhaled through her nose and held my cold hand; placing it on her lap.
“I know you aren’t. Don’t worry, she’ll be back home tomorrow. Okay?”
“I just worry that somehow she’ll find out,” I tell her while I can feel my lips trembling and I bite on my bottom lip harshly as I try to stop it from twitching. She shakes her head slowly and pads her thumb against my bruised lip, opening my mouth and kissing it. I let her in like I always do.
“She won’t,” she assures me, and pecks on my cheek, smiling with teeth. “Okay, baby? We have a day until we have to go back to our routine again.”
I let her kiss me again until we were making out, our lips smacking filters inside the car and I could feel myself getting lost in a translation. I pulled away when I saw the green light coming back on and Natasha quickly stepped on the pedal and drove back to our house. Which reminds me, I have to go see my mom.
When we arrived, I grabbed my luggage as I reached for the door and waited for Natasha to bring out hers. She pulled down the trunk to close it and shoved her hands inside her pocket to grab the house keys. Smiling at me, she unlocks the door with just one tilt and I made my way inside, giggling when Natasha slapped my ass playfully.
Then not even 5 seconds later, I dropped my phone on the floor as I can feel my face start to pale from the sight I’m seeing.
Sticky notes were all over one side of a wall that was in front of the lounge room and there were words in it but I could barely read them. On the other side, it was Lucy who was standing there as if she had been waiting for this moment to arrive – which it did. I could feel my heart stop for a while and my hearing got blocked, meaning I couldn’t hear anything. Just the ringing sound inside my head repeated over and over again.
Forever, they say.
Natasha walked closer to the intense moment and noticed the notes on the wall as well, she looked at me with a darker shade of eyes and then looked to her side, seeing her daughter in such full red that she looked like a full tomato. It was like I could see the steam coming out of her ears comically and I can’t help myself but feel like I’m about to get a full panic attack. Even though I shouldn’t, my best friend should be feeling that way.
Now, I can feel the word emotions. I felt ashamed, nasty, and horrid. Those words repeated inside my head repeatedly and I gladly took them in. I let those sink into me until I go numb; I wish I could not feel things – Those things are called love and shame.
For a while, we all stood there in silence. Mostly, I could only hear the hard breathing from Lucy but other than that, the silence was formed within the room. Then, I watch her grab one yellow note on the wall and read out loud:
I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N. Please, come visit us soon.
I cringe, I cringe more than Natasha did and I could feel the tears in the brim of my eyelids as I watched her grab two more of the notes that were stuck into the wall; now she was yelling, full-on yelling and I could feel myself flinching from her voice.
“I want to eat your cunt so bad that I had to eat out my wife you’re not here, sadly,” Lucy looks up at us with a glare but mostly at Natasha. She took a step forward and stretched her arms to reach the other note. Now, she was laughing in such a sarcastic way because – who would be laughing at this moment?
“Wait–shit, this is my favorite one,” she says with a slight chuckle and throws the other notes on the floor as I eyed them carefully because I couldn’t stare at Lucy anymore. Because there is too much guilt. “And this is from my best friend’s message, by the way. I hope you can come to see me right now, fully naked. I’m so wet for you. Come fuck me–”
“That’s enough, Lucy! You’re humiliating Y/N.” Natasha says with a higher tone and walked towards Lucy, grabbing the note from her hand but failing to do so when her daughter pushes her shoulder roughly, evident tears from her eyes. Lucy scoffs as she hears Natasha that comes out of her mouth.
“Do not fucking touch me, you pervert! Did you honestly think you were that sneaky?”
She cuts me off with her hand in the air, asking me silently to shut up. Lucy shakes her head violently and shouts: “I looked up to you, Natasha. You were my inspiration in everything I do, I look up to you more than momma and this is what you do? You fuck my best friend?”
“First of all, how did you get into my messages with Y/N?” Natasha asked. Lucy laughed hysterically but in such a heartbreaking way that I felt like I couldn’t even look her in the eyes.
“I went through your fucking laptop, you dumb fuck!” she angrily responded to her mother and shoved her again, eyeing her then eyeing me. Lucy took two steps towards me and slapped my face, hard.
“I actually do not want to hear from you,” she talks back at Natasha, who clearly looked like she was about to vomit from the situation at hand. I felt my warm puffed red cheek on my hand and sobbed, feeling my emotions running down through my fiery veins.
“How does that feel, hm? Did you like that when she would do that to you during sex?”
I shake my head, whispering: “Natasha would never hit me.”
“This was the girl you’re talking about on Tinder? My own fucking mom?” she whispered back as I could feel her breath against my face, her nose twitching from so much anger that I could feel myself shaking. I deserved it so much, I deserved that slap.
“You betrayed me, Y/N. And you know what’s sad?”
I shake my head, although I already have an idea of what she is about to say to me. Lucy chuckles lowly and pulls the necklace from her neck hard, shoving it to my chest as she clenches my shirt tightly. That necklace was a gift from me when we graduated back in high school. I gulped as I could feel a block in my throat.
“You were my only friend. My only sister. My person,” she whispers with so much anger yet with so many tears that I just want to kiss her cheeks because of it. “You threw away our friendship, for her? When–I don’t know, you could’ve met anyone else! But my mom? God Y/N, she was married! She was using you only because Natasha didn’t get that from her wife. Did you know they haven’t had sex for over a year at that time?”
Natasha’s throat became tighter as Lucy’s words falter in the atmosphere between us. She looked at me with red eyes along with tears that were streaming down her face uncontrollably.
Who thought forever lasted this long?
“And the audacity you say that I’m humiliating Y/N is just an ass move,” Lucy turns to face her mom and shakes her head at her as if she’s ashamed of her mother; which Natasha gladly took it because she feels like she deserves every dreadful word that was coming out from her daughter’s mouth.
“Both of you humiliated yourselves,” Lucy whispers now, but evident anger was still in her tone. Could this be the moment where I would kneel and ask for forgiveness? I thought about it but felt stupid once I realized that I shouldn’t do it at the moment. Lonely long life, Sinking Spirit Subsists, Where, respite lies.
Natasha speaks but in such a whispery voice that I could barely hear her, “Lucy, I’m sorry. We–I should’ve told you sooner, I didn’t want to hurt you this way–”
“You’re the most hated person right now when it comes to me, Natasha,” How she says her full name makes my skin tighten. I closed my eyes, letting out my sobs with no care in the world. “I don’t want to look at you. I don’t even know if I’ll recover. Would you still fuck her if she was ever 17?”
“Of course not!” Natasha was telling the truth, she would never go that far. She’s not that kind of person who would leer on younger people except when they’re the right age. “Lucy, I would not flirt with her if she was ever 17.”
“I barely believe your words mother but I’ll take that,” she says with sarcasm and grabs a suitcase that was mine, throwing it at the door with a warning whisper that I will never forget.
“Get out of my house before I could possibly kill you with my bare fucking hands.”
Lucy was heartbroken by the situation, she was even more hurt when her mother pursued her best friend without her knowing. I couldn’t do anything but follow her simple rather hard order as I walked towards the door, hearing Natasha chanting no, no, no, and gripping onto my wrist, my back pressing against her front. I could feel her head tucking in my neck and her tears were on my skin; they were cold.
“Please don’t go.”
“Natasha,” I whisper, trying not to cry as I pull her hands away from my waist as possible. But, her grip was so strong that she held on tighter than a while ago. I let out a shaky sob and closed my eyes, not being able to stand properly as she held onto me.
“Don’t say my name like that,” she whispers into my neck while kissing it twice. “Please, don’t say it like that. Please, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me again, please?”
Lucy watches from afar and I can tell she was very furious about the scene that Natasha is causing. Sometimes, this woman can be very stubborn. She turns me around and cups my cheeks with her spiky cold hands, pressing her forehead into mine.
“I love you, darling, I love you so much. You’re my everything, please don’t go. Let’s go together, please–”
“Fix your relationship with your daughter first,” I tell her, smiling but not genuine. I cup her left cheek and squeezed it gently; it’s for me to memorize how she would feel because I don’t know when will I see her again. Maybe next month, next year, or never. My only guess is that probably after the harsh storm calms down – if ever Lucy will accept the relationship we both have that is so special. But in her eyes, it’s atrocious – which I don’t blame her.
She finally accepts defeat and smiles back at me, but her lips trembling. Natasha whispers in demand but in a soft way, “Tell me you love me, please?”
I laughed lightly and kissed her lips, not caring if Lucy was behind her. Not caring if the whole world is watching us, right now I just want to kiss the person who made me feel this euphoric feeling that I never truly grasped.
“I love you.”
She sobs, “Again.”
“I love you,” I kissed her lips once more, taking her bottom lip softly and pulling away. “I love you, I love you.”
Natasha nods, nudging her nose against mine, and pulls me into a tight hug – kissing my temple twice before her last words come that something broke inside of me because of it.
“I love you more, I promise.”
She loves you more. I completely deny that, I think I love her more. I think I'd fight for her more, I think I’d give up everything just to be held and run away with this woman who I shouldn’t fall in love with under the circumstances that we have. The risks of being caught were worth it to me, everything was worth it somehow. And she knows that. It’s like she could read my mind and agree with me in the back of her head. I held her nape as I hugged her tighter to inhale that lavender scent. I’ll never wash my clothes ever again because of her smell.
I walked out of the house and sat at the bus station where I cried myself freely, cupping my mouth to muffle out my scream of terror. In a snap like that, everything is gone. My guts were right, it was always right. I could feel my body shaking again as I cried harder – not caring if anyone watched me with a weird look. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Is this kind of love how it should be? It hurts, everywhere. From my limbs to my lungs – it hurts. I wiped my tears away with my cold hands as I waited for the bus to arrive. I wouldn’t go back to my mom, not a chance. And then I suddenly realized, I have nowhere else to go. I had only a thousand dollars and it was not even enough to feed myself. I thought about dying in the streets but I cringed at a scenario where people had to smell and see my deceased body. Maybe going back to my mom's is the last option I have.
I love you more, I promise.
Emotions cannot behold yet meant to be felt for me. I feel it everywhere to the point I’m about to have a headache. I sometimes hoped that I was an animal instead of a human, maybe their life would be so much easier.
But here I am, still human and still the worst one.
I love you more, I promise.
I felt my phone vibrating inside of my right pocket and rushed to pull it out. I felt a little at ease when I read Natasha’s message popped up on my screen.
Know that every day I’ll be thinking about you, my cub. I wish I could see you right now but I can’t hurt my daughter more. I love you, always, and more. Think about me too, okay?
Always, Natasha. More than you can ask.
taglist: @sayah13 @santasbitch @bepisbeansprouts @sabstance-blog @cl-e @s1ut4nat @lostremind @comfy-mee @how-to-disappearr @when-wolves-howl @sapphosclosefriend @korekiyoss @aru-son @alwaysgoodnight @elle-romanoff @bitchmckenna @strangegardentaco @aru-son @officialbriiiisworld @get-the-fuck-outta-here @mmmmokdok @thatonebrazilian @inluvwithfictionalwomen (can’t seem to tag the others, so so sorry x)
i feel like this should really go without saying but here we go: lesbians are allowed to have multiple genders. lesbians are allowed to have complicated genders. lesbians are allowed to not be women or woman aligned. lesbians are allowed to have no gender. lesbians are allowed to have 'contradictory' genders, or ones that don't make sense to you. lesbians are allowed to be men. lesbians are allowed to be complex people.
lesbians are allowed to be who they are. lesbians don't owe you shit.
Dido Angel & Virginie
the prompt : confessions when one character thinks the other is sleeping
with soft!wanda please <33
ahh i saw this prompt and was hoping someone would request it <3
pairing: soft!wanda x reader
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It happened almost every time she returned from a mission, so when there was a soft knock on your door around 2am, you didn’t hesitate muttering out a “come in” before relaxing back against your bed.
Your door softly clicked open and you could hear the soft pads of her feet against your floor before a gentle dip in your bed, signaling she had joined you.
You opened your arms, inviting her to climb into them and she did without hesitation, pressing her body as close to you as she could possibly get, wrapping an arm around your waist, gripping you rather tightly as her head was buried in your neck.
Your arms wrapped snuggly around her, placing a soft kiss to the top of her head, “did you have another bad dream￼?” You muttered out, voice still laden with sleep, all she did was not in response. You could feel her body relax against yours, and before you knew it, you were closing your eyes again, succumbing to your already tired state.
Wanda shifted besides you, lifting her head from your neck in hopes of not waking you, moving it to rest her chin against your chest and gaze up at you. She reached a gentle hand up to run her fingers across your cheeks, as she stared almost lovingly at your relaxed state.
Your shared moments together, from stolen glances around the compound in passing, to you sitting through hours of sitcom reruns on the days that were particularly harder for her because you knew they made her feel better. And then there were these moments, when you, without hesitation, allowed her to come and sleep with you because you knew she needed the comfort.
She knew she loved you, she has loved you for months, but she never knew how to tell you, so she always waited until you had fallen asleep, and she would admire your sleeping features like she was now and would confess it, because she knew you didn’t feel the same, at least she didn’t think you did.
“Y/N/N,” she whispered out, checking if you were truly asleep, and when you didn’t answer, she continued. “I love you, and not in some friends who love friends type of way, I love you in the way that whenever I see you, my heart beats louder in my chest and whenever you smile, my stomach erupts in butterflies type of way. I want to scream it from the rooftops type of way, but you’ll never know that, because you probably don’t feel the same, because who would love the broken girl.” She said as she looked down and played with the frayed string on your blanket.
“Are you done?” You asked simply, and Wanda’s eyes shot up to meet your gaze. “How are- were you- I thought-” she spoke in a panic and you let out a soft laugh, reaching a hand up to caress her cheek. “Stop talking.” She closed her mouth as she instinctively leaned into your touch.
You rubbed a thumb across her cheek before a sly smirk appeared on your lips, “so you love me huh?” Wanda huffed and smacked you gently on your arm before grumbling and turning away from you, her back now facing towards you. You laughed at her immature behavior before shifting your body behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close against your front.
“Well I guess it’s a good thing you do, because I definitely love you too.”
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