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sexysapphicshopowner · 5 days

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🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Big news for the dreamgirls!! Aftermath of 'Twenty Foreplay'

🤎 soft!wife!dreamgirl!sevika x wife!dreamgirl!reader

🤎 CW/TW: abuse, violence, death, murder, child sexual abuse, adult language, pregnancy, lesbians, pet names, fluff, angst, abortion attempt, sevika has a tragic backstory, eating disorder, drug use, mentions of alcoholism, sorry if I forgot any, not proofread/edited so excuse any mistakes

🤎 A/N: It's late, I know, life happens. I actually cut it short bc it was starting to get a lot heavier than I wanted and the flow was starting to get a bit sloppy. So have this.

🤎 Notes: Um, I cried while writing most of the flashback parts. I love the dreamgirls.

🤎 Word count: 12.4k

Aromatic wisps of rosemary and sage wafted through the bathroom, the scents intermingling with that of the light and warm, semi-bubbly milk bath your wife had drawn for you when she’d gotten home for the day. You let out a soft sigh, your head barely hanging over the edge as you sunk further into the calming water, trying to let as much stress seep out of you as possible.

Familiar and comforting hands found your shoulders, a kiss being planted on your temple as she spoke, voice barely a rumble over the neo-soul that was playing from the speaker on the sink counter, “How are you feeling, dream girl?”

“Better now that you’re in here,” you hummed as you looked up to her, pressing a kiss to her chin as she massaged your shoulders.

Her laugh was quiet as she ducked lower to press an upside-down kiss to your lips before kissing up the bridge of your nose. The playful little pecks turned reverent as her lips landed back at your forehead, peppering across the area as her hands moved.

Fingers splayed out over your neck and partially your collar as she pressed her thumbs behind your ears, rubbing in circles. You all but melted in her hands, letting your eyes slip closed once more as you enjoyed her touch and kiss.

“Have you started yet? I dropped last night.”

You shook your head, letting out a little sigh, “Not yet, though I wish it would hurry up. These body aches are killing me and if I keep gagging, I’m gonna throw up and that’s gonna make me cry.”

She cooed, thumbs now tracing down, applying a slight pressure as she dragged them along the line of your jaw, “My poor little mama...”

“Why poor me? You’re the one that’s actually on. I should’ve been the one drawing a bath for you when you got home.”

“Sure, but if you never drop then, you know what that means,” she hinted.

You rolled your eyes playfully, humming, “True... we’ll see. I’ll let you know what happens. We both know my cycle is still very off and weird.” “Right, right. Now about this gag-”

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish,” she pouted.

“I don’t have to. You were about to ask if it’s too bad for me to suck a lil’ dick. You’re so sick and twisted and completely un-slick, little nasty,” you shook your head, pushing her face playfully.

“Well, you’ve got me there. It was worth a try in my book,” she shrugged.

“Uh-huh. You disgust me.”

“Do I? Do I really,” she asked playfully, as you looked up, leaning your head back just a little further.

You beckoned her closer as you leaned your head back a little further, “Kiss, kiss.”

She happily obliges, leaning down to meet your lips as you stretch up just the tiniest bit. The kiss isn’t long, but it was enough to sate you until you could kiss her properly later. She mumbles against your lips as she pulls away, “I’m so in love with you and everything about you...”

Your breath caught as you looked up at her, finding that same indescribable flame that always burned within her silvery eyes. Somehow the color still hadn’t dulled against the harsh reality of life as a Zaunite. Even more, that loving look in them only seemed to be larger every time you caught her eye.

You were swooning.

It wasn’t until her lips pressed to your forehead that you were pulled out of your reverie, blinking up at her as you turned around in the tub to look up at her properly as you leaned onto your arms, folding them over the edge of the bathtub, “I love you more.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, beckoning her closer with the crook of a finger, “Uh-huh. C'mere. I’ll show you how much I love you.”

She all but fell back into your lips, sighing into your kiss as it consumed her, your nails raking over her scalp as your fingers slid into her hair, thumbs tracing her jaw just in front of her ears.

In a very uncharacteristic move, she pulled from the embrace before you could even deepen it, huffing, “You can’t kiss me like that, dreamy...”

“Why not?”

She shook her head to clear it, wiping her face, “Because then I’m gonna wanna get into the tub with you, then I’m gonna fuck you and I’m supposed to be focused on doing other things right now.”

“Such as?”

She just chuckled in response before planting a much more chaste kiss to your lips, following it with another to the tip of your nose, the final one touching your forehead as she stood, “What fun would it be if I just told you, mama? I’ll be back in a sec with some sparkling white grape. Just in case I did knock you up, which... not to toot my own dick, but I’m pretty certain I did.”

Your laugh was more of a splutter as you choked on your spit and air at the same time, “For Janna’s sake, Sevi, it’s ‘toot my own horn’. I can’t stand your nasty ass sometimes.”

“Then it’s a wonderful thing you’re in the tub right now, isn’t it?”

“Girl- just hurry up, I want cuddles when I get out of here.”

She blew you a final kiss from the doorway before disappearing into the rest of the house to do whatever it was she was hiding from you. As promised, she’d come back with the sparkling juice, to which you accepted gratefully with a little kiss before sinking back into your bath, lazily holding the champagne flute over the side of the tub as you sipped on the drink idly.

Sevika doesn’t like men.

All the men out there who’ve ever wanted to fuck her can thank her father for the aversion.

You see, when your childhood consists of being pimped out to strange men to pay your alcoholic father’s gambling debts, constantly getting into street fights, and then getting your ass handed to you once you get home- you don’t have much time to really discover yourself.

Maybe in a different universe- one where Sevika wasn’t born in Zaun... where her father wasn’t abusive... where she wasn’t sex trafficked by the very man that was meant to protect her... she might’ve been attracted to men.

But this wasn’t that universe.

Her fear of relationships with men quickly grew into an outright disgust of them.

And then it got worse.

For Sevika, it started with the vomiting.

For probably all the ladies living up Topside, the first sign would’ve been a missed period. Thanks to life in the Lanes, however, Sevika was pretty used to her period not coming at all sometimes. It never came with a baby before though.

She’d been dancing the line of unknown pregnancy scares since she was 11. Now she was 21, still under the thumb of her father, and even worse- pregnant.

It wasn’t long before you were wrapped in a fluffy robe, feet slid into your house slippers as Sev guided you into the kitchen with her hands over your eyes under the guise of ‘driving you’ to her secret little surprise.

You stumbled a bit and she took a little pause, “You okay?”

“I smell food.”

Her chuckle was hearty and you could almost hear the head shake that accompanied her words, “I’m sure you do. Almost there, dream girl.”

Her hands were removed from your eyes without warning and allowed your eyes to adjust as she leaned her face over your shoulder, hands coming down to their usual home base of your waist as you took in the ambient, candlelit dinner she’d put together for you guys, “Sev...”

She shook her head before you could continue, “Yes, I’m on my period and that’s your favorite time to spoil me, but I wanted to treat my wife.”

You poked your lip out as you turned your head to look at her, “Sev...”

She giggled, peppering the side of your face with kisses, “Don’t cry, mama... it’s just dinner. I can’t even cook like you.”

You sniffled, fanning your eyes, “Shut it, my emotions are just everywhere right now. It’s not about your cooking skills, even though we both know I’ve taught you well... It’s about the gesture, and you know it.”

She nodded, lips now at your shoulder, “I know... hope you love it.”

“Of course, I love it... I love you...” you mumbled, holding a hand against her cheek.

“Alright, alright, sit and eat,” she prompted, pulling your chair out with her foot. Before you could protest as she sat you down, she pressed several kisses to your face, “And I love you too. Never forget it.”

You had a stupid smile on your face throughout the entirety of dinner.

Emetophobia.

The fear of vomiting or seeing others being sick.

Sevika had experienced her father’s violent reactions to her throwing up before.

The first time was when she was 6.

It was a particularly bad winter in Zaun. The smog was thicker, the cold seemed to seep into the very core of the Lanes.

She’d been battling the sniffles and a nasty fever for days, all the while still being forced to ‘put herself to use’ by her father.

Then it got worse.

Then she began to throw up.

At first, she hid it well. She’d swallow it down when she couldn’t get out of his sight. When she could, she’d always go out to an alley, ducking and weaving through bodies of what the little girl only hoped was just drunkards and junkies who’d passed out on a bender rather than what a six-year-old Sevika knew in her heart were either already dead or close to it.

Up until this point, the extent of physical abuse coming directly from her father was a slap across the face or being picked up by the front of her shirt and shaken around.

Then she brought him breakfast and didn’t make it out of his room fast enough to go puke out back.

That was the catalyst for the abuses that would be-fall her for the next few decades of her life.

Throw up tastes disgusting.

It tastes even worse going back down after being licked up off your father’s grimy boots.

Even worse, the feeling of wanting to re-release those fluids again when you were forced to lick those same boots clean until they were no longer grimy.

Sevika trained herself to hold her throw up in after that.

Your music from the bathroom was moved to one of the counters in the kitchen, incense burning in the holder as you and Sevika cuddled up into each other, you perched up on her lap with the two of you picking from the same plate in between soft kisses and intimate looks.

It was just you and your wife, enjoying the presence and company of one another in the midst of the meal she’d prepared.

You leaned back against her chest, letting out a happy sigh, “You know... I’m so proud of you for this.”

“Yeah,” she asked softly. The softness of her voice, the genuine question in that one word was so cute. You turned in her lap, sitting sideways atop her, cupping her cheek in a hand as you smiled warmly, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose.

You kept your voice at the same level of hers as you responded, “Of course, I’m proud, baby. You pan fried the rice properly and everything. I’m so very proud to see you picking up cooking a little more.”

Your heart broke a little at the tears that glossed over her silver orbs as she looked up at you, “Really? You mean it?”

“Yes, baby, I mean it. What’s wrong,” you cooed, bringing your other hand to her cheek to stroke both of them with your thumbs, “Talk to me, baby.”

She shrugged, looking away, “I dunno... I just... I feel like I’ve been struggling to eat lately. Like I’ve been having to force myself to eat so I just... I wasn’t sure if I was in the right headspace to be cooking tonight, but I wanted to treat you, you know?”

“Sev...” you began.

“Don’t... it’s okay, doll. I’ll-”

“Sevika,” you stopped her, keeping her face turned to yours as you moved again, this time to straddle her, “Will you look at me? Please?”

She shook her head in your gentle grip, tears beginning to well, threatening to spill over as she fought hard to blink them back, “I can’t...”

“And why not?”

“I don’t want to see you disappointed in me...” she whispered, voice barely the ghost of a whisper. It was the smallest you’d heard her voice in a while. The last time was... you softened, further, bringing your voice to a warmer tone.

“I’m not disappointed in you, baby. And I never could be, especially not for something like that. I’m actually proud of you. Very proud that instead of shutting down, you’re talking about it. I know how hard that is for you, especially when it comes to your eating. So with that being said, will you please look at me?”

Watery eyes met yours as she nibbled the inside of her cheek, whispering, “Promise?”

“Of course, baby. I promise, I’m not disappointed.”

She took a shuddery, breath, closing her eyes as she leaned her forehead against your chest, “I love you...”

You pressed a kiss into her hair, rubbing her back, “I love you too, baby. You wanna try and eat a little something more for me? Or do you just wanna talk? What did you eat today?”

“Um.... I had a few bites of the lunch you made me, but then I.... let Ran eat the rest... I’m sorry...”

“Baby, you don’t have to keep apologizing. Can you at least drink some water and eat a little something? Just a couple of bites?” She whined and you let out a little sigh, running your fingers through her hair, “Have you smoked yet?”

“Mhm.”

“Didn’t help?”

“No.”

“Okay... You’ll try again later?”

“Sure.”

“If you can’t that’s fine, but you gotta promise me you’ll try and eat well tomorrow, okay?”

“I promise...”

A plaintive silence fell over the two of you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just... somber. You didn’t comment when she began to pick a few bites off the plate again, simply smiling that she was getting some form of food in her, even if it wasn’t a lot.

At some point, Sevika had stopped eating, hands gripping at your waist, hips and thighs as she pressed kisses along the line of your neck and shoulder. Her hands strayed to your stomach as she mumbled, “Hey, mama?”

“Yes, my love?”

She chuckled as you stuffed your face with food, wiping some from your cheek, “What if I really did knock you up in one try?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. I mean, how many times did you nut in me? And we were both ovulating around that time too. It was like perfectly timed for us to actually end up with a baby.”

She didn’t say anything else for a few moments, and you went right back to eating before she rested her chin on your shoulder, tracing your side with her mechanic hand, “You make me want a family...”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “Yeah... even with life down here... the work that I do... you make me wanna have something to leave behind... a little family that’s like... a legacy of our love. Like, yes, I wanna be a mother and give our kids the things that I never had, but I also want people to see our kids and know that those are our kids. Like... they know that our kids have two loving moms that are actively in love.”

You let out a little giggle, turning to the side in her lap to wrap your arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek as you held her other one, stroking your thumb over her cheekbone, “You’re so cute... I love you, and I would love to have your babies, and I know what you’re trying to say, I promise.”

She relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief as she leaned into your hand on her face, “Thank Janna, I thought I was just rambling stupidly.”

You shook your head, pressing more kisses to her face and lips, “No, I understood you perfectly.”

“Have I told you how much I love you today?”

You giggled, nodding, “Yeah, a little bit. You always remind me that I’m loved... it’s why I married you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Baby, you told me you loved me within our first four dates. It was so cute because you were still learning to navigate love and healthy relationships... we both were, and still are, but here I had the big, scary lady of Zaun and she was looking at me like a puppy and telling me that she thought she was falling in love with me. I think that was the moment when I truly felt like I had found my person in you. And well... the rest is really history. By the time you asked me to marry you, I couldn’t say anything but yes.”

She had idly reached for her wedding band that she always wore on a chain around her neck, fiddling with it as she looked up at you in her lap, “You never once like... entertained saying no? Or maybe waiting a little longer?”

“Never. I knew when I met you that I had to snatch you up and it was just my luck that you seemed to have the same thought process when it came to me. I love you. And that’s not changing. So yes, I mean it when I say I wanna have your children, or that I love you more than anything, or that I’d do anything you asked of me because you’re... you’re everything to me, Sev... and I know that when it comes to us talking about kids it’s hard for you... but you’ve given me so much and I wanna give you the same thing in return. If given the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing about our relationship... well...”

Her eyes snapped up to you from her ring as worry laced through her features, “Well?”

You snickered, placing a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose, “If I could go back, I would make sure I’d asked you to marry me before you could ask me.”

“You’re so,” she rolled her eyes, unable to hide her smile as you shut her up with another little kiss. She pulled you further into her lap with a happy little sigh, “I love you, dream girl.”

You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder as you wrapped an arm around her, your other hand coming up to her chest, fingernail tracing along her collarbone, “I love you too.”

“Done eating?”

You nodded, patting your stomach, “May or may not be a baby-baby in here, but there’s definitely a food baby in here.”

The way she perked up almost like a little kid was too cute as she asked, “I did good?”

The sated and full sigh you let out was all the answer she really needed, but you furthered it as you spoke, “Fuck yes...”

She rubbed your back with one hand, her other one grabbing hold of your hand to kiss each of your fingertips, “You’re so cute. It wasn’t even all that, mama.”

“Uh-huh, it was gourmet. My compliments to the chef.”

She raised a brow, voice full of ulterior motives and that all-too-familiar lilt as she muttered, “If you weren’t clearly about to fall asleep, I would ask for some better compliments, you know.”

You quirked a brow sleepily, looking up at her through low and hooded eyes, “Huh?”

“Alright, c’mon. To bed with you,” she prodded, adjusting her hold on you to pick you up with your legs wrapped around her waist.

You instinctively looped your arms around her neck, pressing a few kisses to it as you hummed, “I love you.”

“So I’ve noticed. I love you too.”

“I love you.”

She chuckled, “I love you too, baby.”

“I love you.”

She used her foot to push open the door to your shared bedroom, nodding as she used her foot to close the door once more, “Uh-huh, I love you too, dreamy. What’s up?”

You shrugged as she sat down on the edge of the bed with you in her lap again, “Just feel like I haven’t said it enough today, you were at work all day, baby. Gotta reach our quota.”

“We have a quota?”

“Mhm,” you nodded against her shoulder, eyes closed as you planted lazy kisses against whatever skin was closest to you.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she assumed a firmer grip on your hip as she hummed, “And what exactly would that number be?”

“We say ‘I love you’ at least 76 times a day. And we kiss at least 280 times.”

She chuckled, hand stroking along your hip and thigh as she nodded, “And where did you get these numbers from? Your ass?”

“I’ve always counted.”

That shut her up before she asked her next question a few moments later, “Are these exact numbers?”

“An average. I did say ‘at least’.”

“Huh.... you’re gay.”

“Okay, but you married me so what does that say about you?”

“That I did.” She turned to press a kiss to your forehead, just below your hairline before resting her head against yours, “I love you, dream girl.”

You melted in her arms, nuzzling into the crook of her neck as you tightened your hold around her waist, “I love you...”

“I love you,” she called again with a soft lilt in her tone as her thumb traced circles at the side of your hip.

A heavy blush was creeping up from your chest, your skin growing warm as you let out a shaky breath, “I love you...”

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh...”

“Words, mama.” You huffed and she shook her head, “No, ma’am. Talk to me. You goin’ to sleep on me?”

“No.”

“No?”

You shook your head against her, “Mh-mh.”

She just chuckled, rubbing your back with one hand as she cradled the back of your head with the other, pressing kisses into your hair, “Whatever you say, mama.”

Sevika’s pregnancy scares were probably a lot more than she realized, but with little actual knowledge of her body, and the compounding factor of probably the world’s most irregular cycle, she spent the majority of her tween, teen, and young adult years none the wiser to any of the times where her body was seemingly contemplating the creation of a child.

Until it started.

At first, it was just a random nausea spell here and there.

Then the nausea grew constant, the smallest smells setting her off with this horrible gagging.

And then she threw up.

All she could think of was what she was supposed to do when her father found out. No, no... he couldn’t find out.

Flashbacks of that day when she was 6 have been haunting her since the first day of nausea. The intensity all but doubled when she woke up running for the toilet.

Terrified didn’t even begin to cover the amalgamation of emotions Sevika was feeling when she realized what was going on with her.

She thrust herself into ‘working’. Unsure of how far along she was and unable to actually find out, she decided to swallow down her daily morning sickness whenever it cropped up if she could, and when she couldn’t, she was straight to the nearest toilet.

That didn’t stop her father from finding out.

Sevika was sat on the bathroom floor, groaning under her breath after being unable to force herself to swallow her vomit back down. She was too weak and out of it to scramble and get herself together.

If it wasn’t bad enough that she’d thrown up- didn't even get the chance to flush the toilet yet- her lack of reaction to his presence only further incensed the already drunk and irate man that called himself her father.

It was a shitshow.

Sevika was hemmed up by the collar of her shirt, his fist shaking as he barked in her face, questioning if this was why she’d been ‘underperforming’ lately. Too stunned to speak and reeling from the sudden yanking up from the floor, she sputtered, dizzy with a pounding headache as she tried to form a response.

The more she floundered to actually engage with him, the more angry and downright belligerent he became.

As always, he didn’t see his daughter, shaking under his grip of her collar.

No, he saw the extra mouth he’d been having to feed.

He saw the reason his wife was dead.

He saw red.

By the time Sevika found her words to even begin attempting to answer his barrage of questions and demands, his fist was already connecting with her face, his grip on her shirt the only thing saving her from ending up sprawled on the bathroom floor.

It was going to be a beating for the books.

You didn’t even realize it when she’d laid you down in the bed on the pillows, tucking you in, until she was sliding into bed next to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind with a kiss to the back of your shoulder, “Hm?”

She shook her head, reaching a hand into your robe to hold one of your breasts as another kiss was planted to the side of your neck, “Go to sleep, mama. I just had to go get out of my work clothes.”

You let out a little groan, turning in her arms to nestle into her, your face tucked under her chin as you mumbled, “Hmmm... g’night.... love you...”

With a little chuckle she pressed kisses into your hair, rubbing your lower back as she whispered against you, “Good night, my love. Sleep well.”

You didn’t sleep very well at all.

Along with the aches and random pains in weird places in your body- a tugging in your lower abdomen that also had a random stabbing along with it, back pain, an almost constant headache, and just a general discomfort and ache in your body- you also had this constant metal taste that was like having a mouthful of rusty change in your mouth at all times.

You were constantly waking up throughout the night from the discomfort, the violent urge to brush your teeth to purge your mouth of the vile metallic tang plaguing you. This, compounded with your incessant gagging, had you growing nauseous with the mere thought of your toothbrush starting to make you want to dry-heave.

You were presently standing over the sink, tears in your eyes as you tried to prepare yourself to gargle some mouthwash after having thrown up for about the fifth time since you woke up in the middle of the night.

Sevika, ever the stony sleeper, had no idea until she rolled over, finding your cold spot in the bed next to her. She groaned, calling out in a sleep-filled voice, “Baby, what’re you doin’? Come back so we can cuddle...”

You huffed, gripping onto the counter of the bathroom sink, fighting the urge to dry-heave again, “I’ll be back in a second....”

You could hear her trudging footsteps coming closer to the bathroom until she was coming up behind you, rubbing your back and pulling hair out of your face, concern and sleep both written on her features, “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I just.... I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” you shook your head, pushing her hand away before grabbing the capful of mouthwash.

“You can’t lie to me, dream girl. You’re crying, you’re pale... you look like shit and you’re supposed to be asleep right now. Talk to me.”

“I’m in pain, gagging now has nausea with it, I just threw up, so now I gotta wash that out of my mouth, but that’s still not going to get rid of this fucking taste in my mouth and I just-”

“Hey,” she moved to stand right in front of you, hands on your arms as she rubbed them to try and calm you back down, “Avalanche, you’re spiraling, dreamy. Take a deep breath with me and we’ll go sit down and talk, okay?”

You nodded as you looked up at her, taking a shaky but somewhat deep breath along with her as she nodded along, continuing to rub your arms with her thumbs tracing circles.

You let out a hiccup when you went to exhale and the second the tears started to brew again, she shook her head, “No, no, eyes on me... You’re safe... you’re okay, I promise. I’m here. You are okay, you’re doing so well, my love. Let’s try again, okay? Deep breaths.”

It took a few more tries before you finally relaxed in her hold, wrapping your arms around her. She brought one hand up to play in your hair, the pads of her fingers rubbing your scalp as her claws on her mech hand trailed lightly up and down your back.

She ended up taking you to the kitchen, sitting you down as she made you a glass of water with two and a half ice cubes- just the way you liked it after an episode like that, holding your free hand and kissing your knuckles and fingertips as you drank with your other hand.

When you sat the glass down, she stepped between your legs, still stroking her thumb over the back of your knuckles, “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll talk. If you don’t wanna talk, we can go back to sleep. If you want a distraction, we can watch something, or I could read you something. Just let me know, okay?”

You nodded, reaching up with your other arm for her to come closer. She pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaning into the embrace, wrapping you up in her arms. The two of you remained that way for a few quiet moments until you looked up at her with a sniffle, your chin on her chest, “Sev?”

“Yes, dreamy?”

“Can you read to me in bed?”

“Absolutely, baby. Do you wanna stay with me while I grab a book or go get comfy?” You held onto her tighter and she nodded, stroking your hair, “Alright, I got you.” She moved so that she could give you a piggyback while she grabbed a book. She ran her finger over the titles, moving on to the next one when you let out a little ‘mh-mh’ sound at each one until giving a nod when she got to a book you wanted to hear.

Once you were both back in bed, Sevika sat up against the headboard with you lying on your stomach between her legs curled up into her chest, she started reading the book, her voice still rather raspy from sleep. She held the book in one hand, her other one up at your face, stroking your cheek with the back of her fingers and only moving to flip the page.

Eventually, you closed your eyes, enjoying the vibrations of her voice in her chest beneath your head and the feel of her fingers on your face. Unconsciously, you took hold of her hand, fiddling with her fingers. She paused in her reading to check in, “You okay?”

“My mouth feels empty,” you lamented softly, the traces of whining laced in your voice.

She kissed your temple, “You’ve got my fingers, mama. Do you want me to keep reading?”

Sevika was no stranger to your occasional bouts like this. You hadn’t had a panic attack like that in a while, but usually when you did, you came out of them feeling very subby, not saying much, and your oral fixation would kick up, usually leading you to say things like ‘my mouth feels empty’.

You nodded in response to her question as you closed your eyes again, softly sucking and gnawing on her index finger. She smiled as your breathing evened out, setting the book aside as she pulled the covers over you both, allowing you to keep her finger before she picked the book back up.

A little groan left you as you took one more finger into your mouth, shifting atop her with your right arm wrapped around her. She shushed you softly, pressing a kiss to your hair, “I’m right here, dream girl... I’ll never let you go... promise...”

First, he punched.

Blow after blow into her face.

To this day, Sevika still has the slightest taste of blood that crops up in her mouth for no apparent reason from time to time.

It was clear that he was just making himself angrier with each hit, the strikes growing more violent and frenzied the more he spoke, barking at her about bringing another unwanted mouth into the household, about how she was still going to have to work. How could she be so foolish as to allow something like this? Half of his yelling barely made any sense but one thing was clear- he was saying that she’d gotten pregnant on purpose, trying to get out of pulling her weight around here.

His grip started to shake on her collar until he’d thrown her to the floor, too lazy to bend over and keep using his hands, so here came the infamous worker’s boots, smashing into her stomach and chest with seemingly reckless abandon- yet somehow still managing a concentration of kicks to her stomach. Sevika curled in on herself slightly, instinctively going to guard her stomach which left her chest open.

There was a sick crunch with each kick there, blood bubbling up out of her mouth as her body was wracked with coughs, the blood spattering across the floor with each one. Her father stopped for a few moments, leaning against the wall to catch his breath as he wheezed.

"You... are fuckin'.... pathetic..." he huffed, turning back around to prod her face with his foot.

He spat down at her as she lay there, voice gruff as he all but growled, “Get the fuck up.”

Sevika was already weak when he came in, having been throwing up essentially all morning before he'd come in to find her when he got home. It hurt to even breathe, ribs threatening to puncture her lungs with every shallow breath she managed, let alone for her to actually get up off the floor.

She didn’t move.

He gave her a shove with his foot, pushing her onto her back as his voice got louder, “Did you not hear me, bitch? Get the fuck up!”

Tears brewed at the back of her eyes. She always says the back because she learned early on not to cry. He hated that almost more than he hated her.

With a great amount of effort, she rolled onto her side, then her stomach before bracing her hands against the floor to push herself up, low grunts and huffs escaping her the whole way.

She barely got a few inches off the floor before he used his foot once again to kick her, knocking her back down, “Get up.”

It was getting harder to hold those tears.

She wasn’t foolish enough to hope that actually ending up pregnant would change things. She never hoped for anything. But some subconscious part of her did. While she had no plans on keeping the child, not that her father would let her anyway, something deep within her secretly wanted to.

Her arms were wobbly, weak as she started to push up again. Each time she started to get up as he was demanding, he’d kick up under her, right into her stomach.

She knew what he was doing.

She didn’t want to lose the baby.

Not like this.

But she couldn’t do anything.

For years after his death, she berated herself for not killing him sooner.

After all if she had...

To say you had a disgusting cocktail of things seemingly going wrong with you would’ve been an understatement.

You were locked in an almost unending cycle of sorts. First, you’d feel so nauseous it was almost like you were seasick. Then you’d throw up, which meant you had to brush your teeth after, lest the unceasing metallic taste be joined by vomit, which meant more gagging and possible throwing up. Then to make you feel even worse, now your gums were bleeding.

And there was the pains.

Sevika could barely keep up, but she was doing her best. She went into work less often, explaining the situation to Silco. When she did go in, he kept her for shorter hours, having her back home to you before afternoon.

You guys were still awaiting your now questionably late period when you called from the bathroom one morning, “Baby?”

“Yes, mama?”

“Can you bring me a liner from the closet?”

“You dropped?”

“I think?”

She entered the room with a liner in one hand and fresh panties in the other, “You think?”

“It’s never been this light before. It’s not spotting, but it’s not my usual first day either,” you explained, letting her see the red and brown that now stained the panties you were wearing initially before you tossed them across the bathroom and into the hamper, taking the fresh ones and the liner from her with a soft ‘thank you’ as you changed.

She leaned against the sink, clearly studying you, trying to rack her brain for any sort of explanation.

“This just started?”

“Yeah?”

“Hm.”

“What are you thinking about over there? I’m not dying, am I?”

She looked at you like she could kill you before whatever this was did, “Don’t talk like that. I’m just trying to make sense of this. Perhaps we should visit your mom...”

The last line was muttered more to herself, but you responded all the same. Your mother was a doctor. More than that, she was a pretty damn good one, and she specialized in childbirth and care. She’d helped numerous women through what could’ve otherwise been fatal pregnancies, not to mention you come from a very... fertile line of women.

“Would that make you feel better if I did?”

She nodded immediately, “Yes, please. If anyone will know what’s going on with you, it’s definitely her.”

“You know that’s a six-day trip, right?”

“Don’t care. I’ll work something out with Silco if need be, but I need to know what’s going on with my girl. Start packing when you get out of here, I’ll be back in 45, okay?”

You huffed, grumbling to yourself, “Watch it just be somethin’ stupid."

“Nothing’s stupid when it comes to you, dream girl. Don’t make me fuck a reminder into you when I get back.”

“You’re leavin’ without my kisses? Do y’even love me anymore,” you wailed dramatically.

You could almost sense her playful eye-roll as you heard her steps clunking back toward your shared bedroom. She bent down to meet you as you placed the liner into your new panties, pressing two kisses to your lips, “Happy now?”

“No,” you pouted, your bottom lip poked out as you looked up at her sadly.

She stooped down to your level, face softening, “What’s wrong, my love?”

“You only gave me two kisses....” you whined, dead serious.

Her face fell and she pushed your knee, “Don’t scare me like that, I thought something was really wrong, dreamy. Mmmmwah, better?”

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you as she planted a very audible kiss on your lips, nodding, “Yes, thank you. And insufficient kisses it very much serious business.”

“Yeah, when it’s you depriving me, not the other way around. Hurry and get ready, okay? The sooner we figure out what’s going on with you, the better.”

“I know, I know. I’ll be fine. Go talk your way into going with me,” you waved her on, getting up from the toilet as you flushed with one hand, turning the sink on with the other to wash your hands.

She got maybe three steps away from the door before she was back in the bathroom, tugging your face to hers for a searing- almost teasing- kiss as she muttered before pulling away, “I love you, lock the doors and windows, I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Despite already missing her presence with her standing right in front of you, you managed a smile, pecking her lips once more, “Hurry, Sevi. The longer it takes you to leave, the longer I have to be here by myself.”

“Say it back first,” she mumbled against your lips, the two of you still trading kisses back and forth.

You pressed a lengthier kiss to her lips, looking up at her with a whisper, “I love you...”

She tilted her head to rest her forehead against yours, closing her eyes, “I’ll be back, okay?”

“Sev-”

“I’m fine. I’ll be back.”

She quickly suppressed the brewing tears, heading to go ask Silco for some time off to make the trip.

Sevika spent that night on the bathroom floor, bloodied and bruised, still coughing up blood periodically as she cradled her stomach, praying to whoever was out there that she didn’t die on that floor.

She didn’t die.

Even more, neither did her baby.

Sevika wasn’t excited.

She wasn’t happy to be bringing this life into the world.

Sevika was petrified about the mere idea of it all.

If she kept the baby, there was the chance her father would kill the baby, or worse, the baby would end up being abused just as she was. She couldn’t have that happen.

But did she truly want to give it away?

If the baby was lucky, it would end up being sent topside to Piltover. It’d be safe there as much as she hated to think about her child ending up being a topsider.

But more likely than not, the kid would end up just in the system. Sent off from home to home around the Lanes. Or even worse, the kid could end up being one of the many orphans on the street.

Sevika didn’t know what she wanted. Or what she would do.

To make matters worse, her father acted as if she weren’t even pregnant in the first place.

She was still working, now having to do even more ‘work’ to make up for the “lackluster performance” from the week she first found out she was pregnant. She was also working at home again, something she hadn’t done much since she’d become an adult.

It took months for her to begin showing, and by the time she had, it was almost as if her father intended for her to keep the baby. The physical abuse was now reduced to the occasional slap or hair snatch here and there, and though the verbal and emotional abuse intensified in its place, he’d begun seemingly making room for the new addition.

He was by no means happy about the prospect of his daughter having a child. But the way he saw it, that was another worker to bring money in to fund his drinking, gambling, and other vices.

The way Sevika saw it? She'd rather die than let her child go through the same things she did. Whether this was something she wanted or not, she knew that if she had to have this child, she’d protect it with her life.

It’s nowhere near the first time you’ve had to make this trip to see your mom. 6 days there, 6 days back.

The majority of your journey is spent with your symptoms playing a twisted game of roulette, alternating between which ones will be your biggest issue that day.

You’re a constant mess of tears, throwing up, gagging, whining, and for the life of you, you cannot stop peeing, only to end up releasing barely a trickle if even a few drops.

You’re tired.

Sevika is also tired.

Your wife wasn’t much of a caregiver when the two of you met. She wasn’t the worst, but it was clear that she was still very much learning. By now she's got it pretty much mastered.

She’s been holding you through everything, offering up massages, cuddles, and her fingers whenever you’re starting to get too overwhelmed by all the different compounding symptoms of what’s looking more and more like a pregnancy.

That’s when the nosebleeds started.

You’ve never had a nosebleed before. Aside from getting your nose broken that one time, you’d only ever dealt with Sevika’s nosebleeds that she gets during the winter from her nostrils drying out. But you? Never had it happen.

However, you knew what it meant.

It ran in the family. Bloody noses and sensitive- sometimes bleeding- gums were some of the earliest pregnancy symptoms within your family. If you didn’t know based on your other symptoms, all other weird yet slightly common symptoms of pregnancy, you definitely knew now.

You were both in your hotel room, the last stop before the final half-day stretch that would get you to your mother’s house, your back to her front as she trailed her fingers over your stomach, muttering affirmations and praises under her breath at how good you’d been holding up when you felt what you thought was your nose running.

You reached up to swipe at your nose with a sniff, pulling your sleeve away to find red now smeared across it, “Oh no...”

She sat up with you, eyes going wide, “Baby?”

You held your nose, pinching the bottom of your nostrils as you cupped your other hand under your chin, holding your head forward while running to the bathroom.

It’s not an overwhelming amount of blood. You’ve seen Sevika come home with much worse from particularly bloody brawls at The Last Drop for sure. But to your wife? You may as well be dying.

Sev is right on your heels, a face towel in her hands already being run under some warm tap water as she pulls you in front of her, taking hold of your chin with her mech hand and assessing the situation as she cleans your face with the towel in her other one.

“This isn’t normal.... d’you think we can leave tonight? Get a jump on some answers? I’m worried about you.”

“Baby, it’s just a nosebleed. I won’t bleed out by morning. It’s not even bleeding anymore.”

She shakes her head, turning your face side-to-side face for signs of any bruising or other things that may be outwardly wrong with you. When she finds none, she starts to gently prod at your nose with a finger, pushing against the bridge and around, “You don’t get it, dreamy. You don’t get nosebleeds. I get those like an orphan gets the cold and flu. Not you... I don’t know a single person in the Lanes who’s just never had a nosebleed like you... I’m scared.”

While you were now very certain about being pregnant, you wanted to wait to tell her, so you simply took hold of her arms- standard panic protocol between the two of you- as you spoke gently, “Baby, there’s a lot of things going on with me that just aren’t normal for me, but that’s why we’re on this trip. We’ll get answers in the morning, okay? Breathe for me, deep breaths.”

Sevika’s barrage of questions and worries fizzle out on her tongue as she locks in with you, mumbling a small, “Avalanche,” as she takes a deep breath in time with your own.

“There we go, my love. What can I do for you to make you feel a bit better right now? If you wanna get back on the road, we can. Or we can go cuddle and I’ll braid your hair. Or we can watch our show. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know, okay?”

She closed her eyes as she took a final breath, opening them once she blew it back out, “Can you braid my hair and we watch our show?”

“Of course, baby. Come on, relax time. If my nose bleeds again tonight, we’ll get up and head on immediately.”

The two of you ended up back in bed, Sevika’s head in your lap as you gave her a few braids to pull back into two little pigtails in place of her usual half pony, you guys’ show playing in the background of her giving you updates on the things she’s gotta do for Silco when you two return back home.

“And then he was literally all whiny talking about how he needs me to come in at some point when we get back so I can go head up the factory and take stock.”

You snickered, pulling a hair tie around her first little pigtail, “We need to get this man a calculator class or something. Oh, remind me it’s time for a trim when we get home, your undercut is practically long enough for me to braid it too.”

She rolled her eyes, rolling over in your lap to face you so you could do the other side of her hair, “Oh hush, it’s not that long.”

“Nah, I’m just being extra.”

“I love you...”

“I love you too.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, gritting her teeth, “I love you...”

You noticed the tense in her jaw, voice softening, “I love you more, baby.”

“Avalanche,” she said meekly, fist gripping your shirt.

You set your comb aside, pulling her up and into your arms as you wrapped your legs around her, allowing her to bury her face in your chest. Slowly rocking side to side, you stroked her hair with one hand, holding her tightly with your other arm as you pressed kisses to her temple and along her hairline, “I got you, Vika.... I’ll never let you go.... never leave... You’re safe... I love you... I’m always going to love you... nothing you do will change that... We’ve been married for so long now... We’re planning babies... We’re still gonna get our homestead... And you can have your animals... I’ll have my fruits and veggies... Me ‘n you, baby...”

You kept whispering little reassurances, reminding her about you guys’ life plan, the things the two of you have already accomplished together, the ones still to come, all while rocking her and playing in her hair. She was holding onto you for dear life. You’d been waiting for it to hit her again, knowing what time of year it was.

When her breathing evened out and her grip on you relaxed just the tiniest bit, you pulled back slightly, cleaning the crust from her eyes with your shirt before pulling the article off, tossing it to the floor. You finished her cute little pigtails while she slept, pausing to press a kiss to her nose every time she started to stir a little bit.

You watched a few more episodes of you guys’ show, making sure to put it back to where it was when she fell asleep before you relaxed as well, pulling the covers up over the two of you.

With a final kiss to her nose, this one earning a soft smile in her sleep, you leaned your head against hers before following her to sleep, mumbling, “Sweet dreams, my love... You’re gonna be a great mother...”

Pregnancy was... well...

Sevika wasn’t sure how to describe her pregnancy. She was in such a weird place after the initial day of her father finding out that she wasn’t sure what to make of anything.

One moment, he was “caring” for her- which really just meant not beating the shit out of her and pimping her out- and the next he was either acting like she didn’t exist or, again, human punching bag.

As far as symptoms, her vomiting didn’t last very long, took her maybe two weeks after that day for her to get a handle on forcing her morning sickness back down no matter what.

She really didn’t get the chance to think about it much. Sure, she had aches and pains. Sure, she had cravings. Sure, she was in and out of bathrooms like it was nobody’s business. But, those were all just minor- trivial things that ranged from annoying to slightly inconvenient at times.

The hard part was delivery.

Sevika delivered her daughter herself.

Alone, in a back alley, deep in the very heart of Zaun.

Giving birth hurt more than anything she’d ever felt before and anything she’d ever feel after.

Sevika didn’t know much about her body.

Besides the hateful things spewed about it from her father, the lustful words from her “clients”, and the few things she’d managed to sneak and read back when she was younger, she actually didn’t know much about how her body worked, let alone pregnancy.

But something seemed to come over her.

It was as if suddenly she knew everything she needed to have her baby safely.

Yes, she was giving birth in a dirty alleyway- the whole of Zaun was dirty, it was unavoidable- but even through the pain she was... calm.

She wasn’t worried about someone finding her and interfering. She wasn’t worried about her father.

All she cared about was making sure her baby made it out into this world.

And she did it.

With nothing but a lighter, a shoelace, a pocketknife, and some stolen whiskey, she delivered her baby.

A girl.

She always wanted to have a daughter when she was little.

She told herself that she’d have a girl so she could give her all the love and care that her father never showed her.

She named her Mieko.

Sevika didn’t know who the father was before now.

And even though Mieko was but a newborn, she knew.

This baby belonged to her father.

The next morning was a rush.

Sev wanted to get to your mom’s as soon as possible. She didn’t say anything about last night aside from asking if your nose had bled any more after she fell asleep, and you didn’t mention it either.

But the cloud still hung.

You noticed her fiddling with the two shell casings that hung from the same chain as her wedding ring. Every so often her hand would stray up to her neckline, fingers practically searching for the items that sat just beneath the fabric of her shirt. Each time you just gave her mech hand a little squeeze, kissing the back of it just the same as you would her flesh hand.

She was thankful you didn’t pry. You never did, actually. Sure, you knew what the casings held within them, and even more you knew exactly what it meant when she started to play with them, but you didn’t bother her about it. You gave her breath and space to grieve in her own way, never pushing for answers, never making her feel weak for showing her sadness. It was one of the many reasons she loved you so much.

Naturally, the somber mood slowly started to lift the closer the two of you got to your mother’s place of residence. You knew Sev was only mostly trying to distract herself, but you also knew how much she and your mother adored one another.

Presently, she was still fiddling with that chain of hers, rubbing the casings between her fingers as she spoke, “D’you think she’ll try and keep us here if it turns out we’re just having a baby?”

“As if you’d be opposed. The way you two act, people would swear I was the one who married in.”

She chuckled, sticking her tongue out at you, “Don’t be mad at me because moms prefers me. I’m just that guy.”

You rolled your eyes, playfully mushing her in the face, “Literally die. Don’t ever say some stupid shit like that again.”

“Or what?”

“No booty.”

“What?!” She cried incredulously, immediately on her knees, “C’mon, mama, you know I was just playing. ‘M sorry...” she trailed, looking up at you with puppy eyes.

You couldn’t help the snicker that escaped you as you pulled her up by her chin, being sure to press your lips to hers when she got close enough before she was once again standing over you, “You gotta be nice to me, okay? I’m 65 percent sure mom wrote me out of her will to put you in it.”

She rolled her eyes playfully before leaning down to kiss you once more, “Oh, please, even if she did you already know I’d just give it all to you anyway.”

“True, true.”

“You ready?”

“Yeah, are you?”

“Hell yeah. If you end up not being pregnant we’ll just try again when we get home... so long as you’re not dying or something.”

“What if I was?”

“Don’t make me beat your ass, dreamy.”

You gasped dramatically, “You tryna eat my ass?!”

“I most certainly would hope not.”

The two of you immediately forgot about the little argument that was about to start as you both raced to get to your mom first from where she stood on her porch.

“Mommy,” you exclaimed as you launched yourself into her arms.

She let out a dramatized grunt as she wrapped you up in her embrace, squeezing you tightly, “I wish you’d have told me you were coming before I felt you. Would’ve made your favorites.”

“Sorry, it was kind of an emergency.”

Sevika cut in, tugging you out of the way, “Yeah, kinda like you hogging moms right now.”

Your mother snickered, squeezing Sev just the same, “You two need to be nice and stop fighting over me all the time. You both know that I love you equally.”

“But Sev’s not even-”

“What did I just say, gummy?”

You huffed, folding your arms as you grumbled under your breath, “I can’t stand either of you.”

When the two finally released each other, your mother turned her attention back to you, raising a brow, “Sevi, baby, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, moms.”

“Go to the garden and gather the vegetables I’ll need for stir fry, please. I’ll be in the kitchen after I finish with this one,” she requested, eyes never leaving you as she seemed to be scrutinizing you. Sev left with a kiss to your cheek and another to your mom’s temple before she practically skipped away into the garden like the overgrown kid she really was.

“Do you have something you wanna tell me?”

“What do you mean, ma?”

“You’re choosing that card? Step into my office, gummy.”

You bit your lip as you followed after her into her home office, fiddling with the hem of your hoodie, “I swear to you, I don’t think I’ve got anything worse than a cold-”

“Sit down,” she instructs, not looking to play these games with you. You shut up immediately, sitting back as she takes your vitals, “Last period?”

“9 weeks ago.”

“6 weeks late, huh?”

“I know what you’re thinking and-”

“Did you know I’ve been dreaming about fish for a month now? Tiny little fish swimming around with tadpoles.”

You looked up at her as she handed you a cup, “Seriously, ma? I’m literally your only gay child.”

She raised a brow, “What does that have to do with me? Piss. I’m testing everyone, it hasn’t just been you.”

“So you tested Ky?”

“Sure did.”

You rolled your eyes the moment your back was turned, a slipper promptly smacking you in the back of the head, “Ow! I didn’t even say anything.”

“You rolled your eyes and you were grumbling in your head about me making your brother take a pregnancy test. Obviously, I tested his wife, genius.”

You smacked, rubbing the back of your head, “I didn’t even-” she raised her other slipper and you promptly shut your mouth before grabbing her slipper from earlier, handing it back to her. “I started getting the nosebleeds,” you mumbled softly.

She looked up from her clipboard, voice and eyes softer than before, “Dear, why you know-”

“That it means I’m pregnant? Yeah... I know...”

She set her things aside, wrapping her arms around you, “Oh my little girl... all grown up... about to have a little girl of her own.”

You chuckled through the tears that had begun to fall, “We don’t even know if it’s a girl yet. Not even close to finding that out.”

She waved your argument away, rubbing your back, “Did you forget who your mother is?”

You didn’t answer, holding her a little tighter. Your mom softened, voice quiet as she questioned, “What’s wrong, gummy?”

“I’m scared...”

“Of?”

“All of it.... being a mom... having a kid in the heart of Zaun... what if... what if Sevika falls out of love with me? Or I fuck up and lose the baby somehow? Or-”

“Excuse me? I know this isn’t how I raised you to think.”

“I know, but-”

“No buts. You’re scared of being a mom? Comes with the territory. You’re scared of having your kid in the heart of Zaun? Guess what, baby girl, that’s where my mom had me, and look at how I turned out. You think you’ll somehow breathe wrong and lose the baby, I already know because I know you- you won’t. I’ll check you two out properly before you guys go back home just to be sure everything is fine and in working order with you and your body and the baby.”

“As for Sevika? Sweet girl, if you think that girl is going anywhere away from you, then you clearly have a lot of learning to do. She looks at you like you’re the very air she needs to breathe; as if you hung the sun, moon, and stars just for her. That girl loves you even more than I do, and you’re my baby,” she chimed, playfully pinching your cheek, “Make no mistake, there’s nothing that could make her fall out of love with you. Not this one. And by Janna, if she does- call me.”

You chuckled through your tears, letting out a little sigh, “I got this?”

She gave you a kiss to your forehead, “Yes, sweet girl. You’ve got this. And I’ll be here the whole time, okay? And you’ve got a wife that loves you... You’ll be okay. And if you ever want to move back up here at any time during your pregnancy or after, let me know. My door is always open, you know this.”

“I know....”

The two of you stood like that for a good while before you mumbled, “Mommy?”

“Yes, gummy?”

“Thank you.”

She let out a soft sigh, shaking her head as she held you a little tighter, “Anything for my girl. I’ll keep the news to myself so you can tell my other daughter, alright?”

“Thanks... I love you.”

She planted an audible kiss to your forehead, “Of course, little one. I love you more. Now clean that pretty little face and get yourself together. I’ll tell your wife you’re using the bathroom while we get dinner going, okay?”

You let out a happy little sigh, giving your mother one last good squeeze, “Thanks, mommy.”

She gave your stomach a little pat before turning to leave, “Don’t take too long or you know she’ll come find you. Also, you have a cold, sit your ass on the couch when you come out and don’t you dare set foot in my kitchen, you hear?”

“Yes, mommy. I’ll be out in a second.”

The door closed behind her and you placed a hand on your stomach letting out a little breath, “Now I’ve gotta figure out how to tell your mom about you, angel.”

2 years.

Sevika had been hiding her daughter from her father successfully for 2 years.

She doesn’t know how he found her. She didn’t know then and, to this day, she doesn’t know now.

She’d returned to her childhood home from a day of “work”, heart falling from her stomach as Mieko came tottering to her, wrapping around her leg.

For the longest time, fear was the only word she could use to describe that day, but no... it was something more than that. Sevika wasn’t just afraid. She was horrified. Petrified even.

How long had her daughter been alone with her father? How did he find her? How long had he known about her? Was this his first time coming into contact with her?

A million questions and terrible scenarios ran through her mind, the soft pat of her daughter’s hand on her leg pulling her from the slow descent into panic. She couldn’t help but smile at her baby, picking her up and smothering her in kisses as the little girl dissolved into giggles. She could feel her father’s eyes watching her every move.

“You take her to the back room.” His voice was gruff as always, words short and to the point.

Sevika froze. She knew what was coming for her if she let go of her daughter and faced him alone. She didn’t move, arms clutching onto her child as her heart raced even faster than her thoughts.

There had to be a way out of this.

Her father hated repeating himself. His anger was palpable, a churning storm ready to roll through the house as he slammed his fist down, “Back room, now!”

The loud noise and his elevated voice scared Mieko. She started crying. He hates crying.

Sevika slowly backed toward the front door, holding a crying Mieko to her chest as she tried to quiet her.

Wrong.

Her father was in front of her in an instant, large hands reaching for Mieko. Sevika went to turn around, run back out the door, only to have her face smashed into it, her daughter torn from her arms by his other hand. He shook the crying child, screaming at her to shut up.

Disoriented with blurry vision, Sevika stood on unsure feet, trying to reach for her daughter back.

She felt that familiar tiny hand clutch her finger for the briefest of moments before a shot rang out.

She saw red.

Sevika’s hand strayed to the shell casings around her neck frequently throughout dinner, her eyes misty and sort of far away. Your mother looked to you, wondering what was up with her daughter in law, but you waved off her concern, stroking your thumb over Sevika’s thigh in a show of silent comfort each time she withdrew from the conversation.

After dinner was finished and the dishes had been put away, your mother left for bed with a kiss to each of your foreheads. You sat on the couch with your wife, rolling a cigar for her as she curled around you, her flesh hand at your stomach, tracing patterns over the bit of skin poking from beneath your top.

You placed the ‘gar between your lips, lighting it before taking a hit and holding it out for your wife.

She took it, not hitting it, but studying it before she took a hit, sighing upon her exhale of the smoke.

“How are you feelin’,” you asked softly, playing with her semi-wavy hair that had been freed from the braids and pigtails you’d made the night prior.

“Stressed... worried...” she trailed off, voice falling quieter as she passed the blunt back to you, “sad...”

“Where do you wanna start?”

She shrugged, unwrapping herself from around you to sit up beside you, “Dunno... it’s all just a lot right now...”

You leaned your head on her shoulder, taking a couple more hits of the blunt before you passed it back to her, taking up interest in her mech hand as you started to fiddle with the metal, “Okay.... what’s got you stressed?”

“Everything...”

“But in particular at this moment?”

She didn’t answer for a few moments, eyes clouding over again. You gave her mech hand a squeeze, whispering gently, “Hey...”

“Hm?”

“You keep leaving me... Talk to me...”

“Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never met?”

Her mom.

You gave a small nod, “Entirely possible.”

“It’s like.... this longing... But it’s more than that because how can you long for something you never truly had? Even worse to miss someone who... who’s not here anymore because of you...”

Her last sentence was like a ghost, the words dissipating the moment they left her lips.

“Sevi...”

“It’s fine, I’m-”

“No, you aren’t, baby... And you don’t have to be. It’s okay to not be okay... But I wish you’d stop faulting yourself for that...”

She let out a sigh, holding the blunt out for you, “I know... Just.... can we talk about something else? Or just cuddle and smoke?”

You nodded as you took another hit, “We can do that.”

The silence that fell was comfortable, the two of you sharing the blunt back and forth until it was nothing but a roach left. You leaned to place it in the ashtray on the coffee table before moving to lay aginst Sev’s chest.

Your body was buzzing. It had been a while since you last smoked and you felt that familiar sensation of both floating and sinking into your wife’s body as you lay atop her, her arms wrapped loosely around your waist, flesh hand trazing lazy patterns along your spine.

You tilted your head slightly to look up at her, her eyes fixated on the ceiling, but not really- she was thinking.

“You have such pretty eyes,” you whispered.

Her grin was immediate as she moved her vision down to you, those silver orbs darkened in her high state, “You think so?”

You nodded, curling further into her as you closed your own eyes, “So pretty... I hope the baby gets your eyes.”

Sevika is known for being a woman who revels in violence.

The Scary lady of Zaun.

She’s the one who kicks ass and takes names- no questions.

But it wasn’t always like that.

The shot flipped a switch in her.

To be quite honest, she’s not sure what exactly killed him.

Maybe it was her beating him.

Maybe it was her bashing his skull into the wall.

Maybe she’d broken his ribs with her kicks, punctured a lung or even better his heart.

She didn’t know.

But when the rage had settled and her father lie dead on the floor, she saw her little girl.

She crumpled, those tears she’d been holding back for so long in her life ripped from her as she held her girl in her arms.

Those tiny fingers wrapped around her pinky for the last time, matching silver orbs growing dim as Mieko took her final breath in her mother’s arms.

Sevika’s heart stopped in her chest as she froze beneath you.

You sat up, looking down to find her eyes glossed over, a single tear escaping, “Sev?”

Her eyes were wide, heart hammering away in her chest, threatening to burst from it as she just barely managed to speak, “You... you’re...”

You took her hands, nodding as you whispered, “Yeah, baby... I’m pregnant.”

You were holding back tears of your own. You’d only seen your wife cry once, and that was on your wedding day. Sevika crying was as rare as you getting a nosebleed.

You cupped her face in your hands, wiping away her tears as they fell. She seemed frozen, eyes faraway again as she whispered feebly, “You...”

Sevika didn’t know what to say. She had dreamed about this moment, played it out a million different ways in her head. She just knew she’d wrap you up in her arms, a mess of kisses and giggles. But now that it was here, the two of you under the light of the fire in your mom’s living room, she was stuck.

Her eyes focused on you as you spoke, tears in your eyes, “Hey, come back to me? You okay?”

No, she wasn’t okay.

“You’re pregnant...” she whispered, still sounding like she didn’t believe it.

You let out a soft chuckle, nodding as you leaned in to kiss a line down her nose, ending with her lips, “We made a baby, Sev...”

There were stars in her eyes as she stared at you. She was never one for flowery language, she’d tried, but she always stumbled over her words or felt like she’d just come off cheesy. Her hands moved to your waist, thumbs stroking the sides of your stomach as she looked up at you, “We did...”

“We’re gonna be parents...”

“We are...” she whispered, her words thick as she blinked away a fresh batch of tears.

You didn’t wipe them away this time. Instead, you pulled her closer, wrapping your arms around her as she tucked her face into the crook of your neck. If you felt her tears soak through your shirt, you didn’t say anything, fingers combing through her hair as you rocked softly.

Sevika was swimming through her thoughts in her mind. She was petrified and ecstatic at the same time, but the fear seemed to overtake the happiness by an astounding wave, causing her to press further into you. You simply wrapped your arms tighter around her, pressing a kiss into her hair as you rubbed her back to keep her grounded.

Her mind was running about a million miles a minute. Flashbacks of her own pregnancy, her labor and delivery in that cramped alley... the few moments of peace and happiness shared with her daughter.... Mieko’s eyes as the life leaked from them...

Then she thought about you. The life the two of you have settled into together. The day that started all of this when the two of you decided to try for a baby. About all the shit you’ve had to put up with thus far and all the things to come.

She pulled back to look at you, silver eyes glistening still in the lowlight, pupils blown as she found her voice, whispering under her breath, “Thank you...”

Your eyes caught on your mother, a soft smile on your face as she mouthed, “I told you so.”

🤎©️ All work belongs to sexysapphicshopowner. Do not use or repost my content in any way without my consent or permission. Thank you! 🤎

🤎 Taglist 🤎:

@certainlynotasimp @trafalgardvivi @love-sugarr @archangeldyke-all @fyeahnix

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sexysapphicshopowner · 4 months

Text

🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): What would usually be just an intimate night turned into a horrific tragedy

🤎 Lady Dimitrescu x wife!reader

🤎 CW/TW: slight smut?, suggestive language, angst, lesbians, pet names, grief, accidental death/murder, blood drinking, reader is an artist and photographer, Alci is a depraved baby with many issues, bloodlust, mental health issues, no use of y/n, barely proofread

🤎 A/N: I cried whilst writing this- you're welcome

🤎 Notes: No description of reader, this version of Alcina isn't exactly my personal headcanon of her, but more an idea I had for her that I decided to write, I did research for the death scene on a timeline of what it's like to bleed to death and tried my best to apply the different things that happen to the body to this particular fic. I'm in no way a doctor or anything, the best thing I've got is a certification in Forensic Science so I also used my knowledge from that to give what you're about to read

🤎 Word count: 5.2k

The lady of the castle sat at her vanity, scrutinizing every little detail of her face. She studied the wrinkles, lines, and cracks of her features before covering them with makeup, perfectly slipping behind the mask that everyone knew as Lady Dimitrescu.

She glanced behind her in the mirror at the sound of her bedroom door opening, eyes meeting yours as she applied her lipstick, “Ah, my love, you’re home early.”

You wasted no time in making your way across the room, slinking your arms over her shoulders as you planted a kiss to her cheek, holding out a photo in front of her, “I had to, look at how my latest pictures of you came out.”

Alcina's expression remained unchanged, even as you kissed her cheek. Her eyes focused squarely on the photograph. Her gaze swept over the image once, then twice.

"Hm," she murmured, her eyes wandering back to your face. "You like these?" She asked. The question was innocent enough, but her demeanor suggested something altogether different.

You deflated just slightly at her dry response, nodding as you studied the photo for yourself, “Of course, I do, love. You look amazing.”

“You think I look amazing,” she repeated slowly, her voice flat. “And did you think of me when looking at these pictures? Or simply my appearance?” The question was followed up by a long, drawn-out pause.

“Well?” She leaned forward on the vanity, asking point blank as she met your eyes in the reflection again.

“I-I....”

"What? Speak up, don't be modest. I want to hear your thoughts." She purred, her eyes trained on yours. Golden irises gleamed in the candlelight, as she held your gaze steadily.

You fixed your gaze onto hers, voice sincere as you answered, “I thought of you quite fondly when developing the photos... It’s why I came back home. I wished to be in your presence after seeing your face for so long.”

Alcina's gaze softened at this. The corners of her lips curled into a smirk as she glanced down at the picture, and then back up to you. "And do you believe me to be a beautiful woman?" She asked. The question was an obvious one, but the vampire wanted to hear the words fall from your own lips.

You ducked your head, eyes remaining on hers in the mirror as you pressed a kiss to her shoulder, "More beautiful than any man or woman to ever walk this Earth."

Alcina dimpled sweetly, her lips curling into a pleased grin. She knew she was beautiful. It was a fact- one that you reminded her of regularly. But to hear you describe her as such... The sound of her own ego being stroked tickled a deep, dark place within her.

"I am glad that you think so, my love," she purred. "You know, there is something I want from you tonight."

You set the photo down, practically instantly forgetting about it as you brought your hands to her arms, “Yes? Anything.”

"I want... " Her voice quivered with anticipation, as her gaze swept over your form. "You." Alcina reached up, pressing her delicate fingers against your cheek. "I want you tonight. All to myself."

A chuckle escaped your lips as you pressed a few open-mouthed kisses to her throat, “Yeah? You want me?”

"I want to savor every inch of your body." Alcina purred, her voice dropping to a low, husky rumble. She traced a single fingernail down the line of your jaw, trailing towards your chin. "I want you. With every fiber of my being. I want to worship you."

You let out a hum, nipping at her skin, “Come to bed, Alci... then you can have me.”

"But I want to have you... right here," she cooed, almost trying to coax you into staying there with her. "I want everyone to know that you are mine. Only mine." The countess grabbed your wrist and hauled you close, trapping you between her and the vanity in one swift motion as her mouth trailed from your neck down to your collarbone, biting down gently on your skin. "Mine."

You sucked in a breath, clutching her arms for purchase as you adjusted yourself atop the vanity, “Fuck... y-yeah...”

"Such a good girl," she purred, her other hand snaking its way past your hair to grip onto the nape of your neck. She bit the soft skin of your neck as she nuzzled closer to your ear, her lips brushing against the sensitive spot just behind your lobe as she spoke, "No one will have you. Ever. You belong only to me. Do you understand?"

Your lady lover had used such possessive and outright aggressive language with you before, but you didn’t notice the cloudy look misting her golden irises as she spoke, your lip nestling between your teeth before you released it to let out a breathy answer, “Yes... only yours...”

Alcina's lips curved into a pleased grin as her fangs sparkled in the low light. She could do whatever she pleased with you... And you would enjoy every moment of it. She pulled back slightly to gaze down at your flushed face, tilting her head slightly.

"Good girl," she praised. For a moment, it seemed as if she might kiss you. But her lips instead met your neck in a lingering, passionate kiss punctuated by sharp canines.

You let out a hiss the second you felt the slight sting of her canines pricking into your skin, “Shit...”

"You like that, do you," Alcina purred, her grip on your neck tightening slightly as her fangs sank deeper into your skin. Golden eyes glowed in the dim light, pupils dilated before they narrowed in on their prey. "How does it feel to be at my mercy?"

"A-Alci.... please...."

Her answer was a slow, drawn-out purr as she withdrew a single fang before she bit down again, her mouth a suction that fed from the sweet blood as she pulled you deeper and deeper into her hungry embrace. She moaned, eyes growing half lidded as the taste of you on her tongue sent waves of pleasure through her veins.

Your brows knit together, hands gripping her arms tighter as you felt a lot more pain than you usually did when you would allow her to drink from you, “Alci.... hurts....”

She simply let out a hum as she tilted her head slightly, your back now resting against the vanity as she was hunched over you like a true predator. You were pinned under her as she continued to drink from your neck.

“Does my little blood bag feel woozy,” Alcina asked, voice taunting and holding a sort of just slightly playful mockery. She hummed with her every suckle, as if savoring the taste of you. Her nails trace against the back of your neck, her touch as sharp as a razor.

You struggled against her hold, tapping her shoulder repeatedly as your vision began to go a bit hazy, “B-baby... please... don’t...”

“Please what, my love,” she purred her lips curling into a playful smile, attaching right back to your neck as she continued to drain you of your life force.

You were always so much sweeter than her other maidens... The taste of your blood... It was enough to bring an ache to the core of her very being. She couldn’t get enough of it.

Even as you tapped her shoulder, her lips remained pressed against your skin. She was in heaven, and this was her idea of making love.

You on the other hand were beginning to panic. You didn’t find your wife when you looked down into her eyes.

No, you didn’t know who or what you were looking at.

Her eyes were almost venomous, pupils narrowed to slits.

Her usual gentle, reverent touch was nowhere to be found, nails and fangs stinging against your skin.

You felt powerless struggling against your 9-foot lover.

Your voice gurgled in your throat, her teeth having torn the skin of your neck open in search of getting better access to your vein that she was currently drinking heavily from.

Your heart rate is beginning to accelerate, something that doesn’t help you, but makes it much easier for your bloodthirsty wife to bleed you dry as blood is now pumping directly to the area where her mouth is accompanied by the wound from her tearing into you.

A lightheaded, truly woozy feeling begins to set in along with a sudden wave of fatigue.

You can’t focus outside of the blaring worries in your mind that if you don’t bleed to death from the gaping hole in your neck, your wife will certainly take care of drinking the rest of it. Your skin has gone pale, sweat beading every inch of it as your body is trying to fight back against the losses, as well as you with your pushing against her, trying to get her off of you.

All the while, Alcina is continuing to feed. Pulling more and more of your vitality as she drank, her body was practically shaking with ecstasy, eyes rolling back as she drew deeper and deeper from the vein.

Primal growls rumbled out of her throat, her breathing heavy and hot against you.

She was far too sucked in to realize what she was doing. She was killing you. Her love, her life, her light.

Alcina would never.

And yet... she was.

With every beat of your heart and pull of her mouth suctioned to your neck... she was pushing you closer and closer to the cliff that was death.

There’s too many feelings, too many thoughts.

You feel spaced out, unaware of what’s even happening anymore, yet hyperaware as your anxiety is spiking to astronomical levels. Your breathing is shallow, your pushing growing weaker and weaker as your hands and feet begin to tingle.

You’re dying.

You know it.

You can’t help but think about your life.

How you came to the castle in the first place.

You were commissioned for your work. You were a wonderful portraitist, a very skilled painter who was very adept and well-known for your art- especially your portraits.

Originally, it was Bela who’d begged her mother to have you called into the castle to do her portrait.

Then Daniela just had to have hers done as well because ‘look how good she painted Bels’.

Cassandra begrudgingly asked if you’d paint her as well, only after being teased by Dani for being the only one of the three sisters to not get herself painted.

It was after finishing the three works that you finally met the ever elusive and lady of the castle- Alcina Dimitrescu.

Alcina took a liking to you.

Being a patron and lover of the arts herself, she found herself drawn to your talents as a painter, sketch artist, and photographer. You also both had a shared love of jazz and blues music- a fact that led her to realizing her feelings for you.

Your first date was in her old music room. The two of you played a few pieces on the piano together before you sat back to let her sing for you, taking pictures to use as reference for later sketches that you would gift to her after five months of courting between the two of you.

It was a whirlwind romance, the two of you swept up in never having had a love like this before. She was the darkness to your light, the moon and stars to your sun.

She was your muse. You were her beloved, her most devoted.

Your marriage was a surprisingly small occasion, just a little ceremony held between the two of you, the other three Lords, and Mother Miranda as the officiant. Bela was the maid of honor, Cassandra carried the rings, and Daniela was the flower girl. It was sweet.

Alcina herself was sweet.

So how did things progress to here?

There’s a pounding ripping through your skull, a headache- or perhaps migraine would be a better word- like none you’ve ever experienced before.

How long had this been going on?

It felt like hours.

In truth it wasn’t more than about 4 minutes.

Next came the ringing. A terrible and tinny noise in your ears, blocking you from hearing anything else.

It was coupled with the terrible spinning you seemed to feel. It was disgusting.

And once again- to make matters infinitely worse for you- you couldn’t even speak or fight back anymore. You were essentially limp within her hold at this point, almost resigning yourself to your fate now.

Within another few seconds, your sight grows hazy, darkness seeping into the edges of your vision as your eyes turn up to the ceiling, no longer able to watch your wife.

Then comes the sweet release of being unconscious.

Like the world’s sickest fade to black, you passed out in her arms, not realizing how close you now were to death.

You suffer a heart attack, the organ unable to handle the strain your wife’s drinking has now put on your body.

Just like that... it’s over.

In a little under 5 minutes Alcina had killed the love of her life.

She didn’t stop when your body went limp underneath her, heart no longer pounding in your chest against her.

No, she pulled away once the flow of blood into her mouth stopped.

In her feeding frenzy, Alcina hadn’t truly known what she was doing to you. As the taste of your blood faded from her lips, she slowly opened her eyes, blinking away the haze of the drunken feeling that came along with drinking blood.

What she found before her left her horrified.

Cradling your still body, the countess couldn’t come to terms with the idea of you having died at her hands.

She pressed a few kisses to your forehead in an attempt to wake you. Tears welled in her eyes as she tried, trying to will you back to life.

She held your body close, tears continuing to brew despite her attempts to fight them back. For the first time in a while, she felt a surge in emotion.... Grief.

This wasn’t what she had wanted. She had no intention of hurting you.... And yet, the damage had already been done.

She brought her other hand up to your cheek, fingers brushing against your smooth skin in a last attempt to try and wake you.

"You can't leave me..." she whispered, sobbing now at the realization. But your heart beat against her chest no longer. And your eyes were now shut, forever.

After a few minutes of letting her tears fall, she wiped away her tears and straightened up, her red eyes staring straight ahead in silent mourning. The countess closed her eyes tightly and inhaled slowly and deeply, trying to process the loss. She also couldn’t take the sight of her face in the mirror. Your blood and her smeared lipstick staining her stark white skin. It wasn't long before her face returned to its cold and emotionless facade.

She stared through her reflection rather than at it as she murmured, “How disappointing.”

Her demeanor became one of stark detachment, just like that of the stone-cold killer that the soft side of her now believed herself to be. It was almost as if she hadn’t been in love with the now dead woman in her arms in the first place.

Her hands tightened around your body as she lifted your limp form in her grasp with ease. Without much ceremony, she began to walk towards the window at the back of the chamber.

“Now, dear one,” she began, “You shall be as one with the night.”

As she reached the open window and stared down at the dark landscape below her, the vampiress seemed to contemplate.

In her arms lay the woman she once called her safe space.

Her eyes narrowed as she considered her next move. Without a second thought, she tossed your body out of the window.

The wind howled as the form tumbled down to Earth. You plummeted through the air in a graceful spiral, the fall over so quickly that if there were even still a shred of life within you, you did not suffer for long. Your body impacted the ground with a soft thud, crumpling in a broken heap.

In a swift moment, the countess closed the window and drew the curtains with finality. The body was nowhere to be seen, and the chamber wa just the way it was before you ever arrived.

With a heavy sigh, Alcina finally allowed herself to sink onto her stool. For a while, she remained still in her seat, staring at the mirror in empty contemplation.

As she sat alone in the room, she wondered to herself.

Why had she done such a thing?

A soft hand rose to her mouth as she wept for a moment, once again wishing to take back the events. But she knew deep down, there was no turning back.

Eventually, Alcina rose from her chair and crossed over to the bed. She lay down on the soft mattress, staring up at the moonlight which spilled in through the curtains of the other windows in the bedchamber.

For some time, she stared up at the ceiling, her expression blank. But slowly, the grief she felt earlier started to grow within her again.

Unable to hold back her tears any longer, the vampire broke down into heavy sobs. She’d never loved anyone as she did you. But that love had been her exact downfall.

She’d been blinded by her love for you and your trust for her, thinking she had the self-control not to hurt you. Yet and still, she did.

“Why?” She whispered into the moonlight. “Why did you have to love me so much?”

The countess released a loud, mournful wail as she cried into the night. A part of her wish so badly that she could take it all back. But she knew it was already too late for regrets.

“It’s done,” she mumbled, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to calm herself. But her heart would not follow suit. It continued to ache for you.

Eventually, she fell into a fitful sleep, but the night only brought nightmares which haunted her rest.

The countess awoke the next day with a start. For a moment, she almost didn’t recognize where she was. Almost didn’t remember what had happened. Then the memories from the previous night returned.

“No....” Alcina whispered. She turned over in her bed to face the empty side of the mattress. In your place, there was only a memory. “No....”

Once again, the tears started to flow. “Why?” She asked herself.

Alcina sat up in her bed, staring ahead in silence. Though your absence gnawed at her heaviy, the memories she shared with you only made the grief worse. Your loss was more than any one heart could bear, but for a vampire... Your loss would be eternal.

“It’s not fair,” she told herself, her voice hoarse and quiet.

“I don’t want to forget you. I want you back... so that I can feel your lips against mine... hear your soft whispers in my ear... know that you were real....”

Before she could fall too deep into the guilt that laced itself through her grief, the phone rang.

She answered the phone with a heavy heart, not expecting anyone but Mother Miranda to be brazen enough to call at this time. I couldn’t be but maybe an hour after sunrise.

It was Karl.

Instead of being greeted by his usual infuriating and condescending tone that usual was also paired with his crass words that were typically used to hurl insults at the countess- his voice was solemn as he spoke.

The sound sent a chill down her spine, cheeks still damp with tears as she listened to him, “Hey, Alcina... A couple of my Lycans brought in a body last night.... It’s... It’s your wife...” There was a pain in his voice that Alcina had never heard from him before.

“Do you want me to bring her over for a proper burial, or...?”

Alcina was thrown back by the question. Before she could reply, grief and guilt simultaneously struck her like lightning, her legs turning to jelly beneath her. A hand shot to her mouth, as if to shield herself from hearing any more words.

"No..."

It was the only reply that escaped her lips. In her eyes, she could see it all again...

Your body plummeting through the window, your face pale, your limbs broken. That look on your face as you died...

She bit her palm, trying to distract herself from the horror.

Heisenberg called out when the vampiress didn’t say anything, “Are you alright? What happened to her?”

"Karl, please," Alcina pleaded, her voice coming out hoarse as if she had just wept for hours. The countess wanted nothing more than to fall back into bed and drown in a sea of grief, unable to face the truth of your death once more.

"I... I cannot talk about it. Please, just... bring her body to me so I can bury her. There is no need for any of us to speak of what happened... it's better that way," she pleaded, her voice filled with misery.

“I’ll be there in an hour.... I’m really sorry, Alcina...”

The countess was silent for a moment. For the first time, she felt truly powerless. She didn't wish to remember the way you died at her hands, and yet as she awaited your body... The pain and guilt was suffocating.

"Thank you" she replied quietly, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

What would your family think? Your friends, your loved ones... Would they ever know the truth? They were going to have to. In some way, this was her fault.

No, she wanted a funeral. And you would have it.

One hour.

That was all that separated Alcina from her greatest mistake. But in this time, she did what she could to prepare for your arrival.

A casket- made of elegant wood and lined with elvet of a deep garnet hue- was prepared. It wasn’t new. You had made it saying she’d need somewhere to put you when your time in her life finally expired.

She couldn’t help but cry as she remembered how happy you two had been together. How much you had loved her.

Your hair and body was washed, a crown of roses placed in your hair- Alcina's handiwork.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she stared at your beautiful face in the casket. She could almost hear you whispering in her ear... Telling her that you loved her and just how much as you often did. She wanted nothing more than to hold you one last time and kiss you deeply. But as she reached out to do so, a dark feeling came over her.

The truth was hidden in that darkness.

“Please.... forgive me,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheek.

She had to excuse herself from the little ceremony to what used to be your shared room.

She ended up at her vanity, gripping the edge of it before her eyes fell on the last picture you had ever taken of her. The one you had brought with you from the night before.

It was a portrait of Alcina in her most vulnerable state. Her hair disheveld, her eyes hazy as she had just awakened from sleep when the photo was taken.

Still, the photo was one of the best memories you’d held of her.

She was beautiful, regardless of how much sorrow and grief had taken hold.

Holding onto the photo for a moment, Alcina turned it over repeatedly, a faint smile crossing her red lips.

“I’ll see you again one day, my love,” she whispered, her voice choked with tears.

“We haven’t said goodbye yet.”

After a long few long moments of staring at your portrait of her, the countess dried her tears and returned to the casket room that held you rcasket to stare down at your still face.

The tears came again, but she was too far down the rabbit hole to turn back.

With her hands, Alcina closed your eyes with all of the love she held for you. She couldn’t bare your gaze any longer. But she couldn’t bear your silence either...

As Alcina kissed your cheeks with gentle tenderness, memories of your first kiss came rushing back to her. It was nothing but a distant shadow now.

In all the centuries that she had walked the Earth, Alcina had never felt love like this. She had shared her flesh with countless lovers, but it meant nothing... Not now.

Because this- you... you were different.

“Sleep, my love. Dream of our nights spent together.... our passion...”

Alcina burshed a stray lock of hair behind your ear- chest tightening when your eyes didn’t open at the motion- before she took a step back.

“We’ll be together again soon,” she promised, a pained smile on her lips.

The countess stayed with you for a while, the weight of her grief slowly becoming much mor eoverwhelming. But eventually, she had to bring herself together to say her final goodbye before Karl buried your casket.

She rose from her seat for the final time, looking down on you for a moment.

“I’ll find you in my next dream.”

Her voice was barely even audible before she turned on her heel, turning over her shoulder to take one last look at your peaceful face before she withdrew from the room.

“I love you, dearest. Always."

Alcina shut her bedroom door and closed every curtain.

It was the first time in a long time that she had been left alone inside her chamber- neither you nor any of the girls there to come bother her. For so long you had been there.... your soft voice to comfort her... your warm body to hold at night in bed.

But now- for the first time- this place felt empty, colder, lifeless without you.

Alcina took a deep, shaky breath as she fought back her tears.

She approached the window where she ahd so coldly tossed your body out, the chill of the wind stiniging and reminding her of that very moment.

Perhaps you wished to speak to her. Bid her your own last farewell.

With this thought in mind, she took a deep breath as she stared out into the night, “If you can hear me, my love, I want you to know...”

The wind howled loudly as if to answer her words.

“I will always love you,” she finished, her eyes gazing up at the sky.

Though the chill of the wind bit at her heart she didn’t bother with closing the curtains back again. She wanted to be as close as possible to where you lay, so that her words could travel further with the hopes of reaching you somehow.

“I’ll see you some day soon, darling... I’ll see you soon....”

A few tears found their way from her eyes. At the salty sting, she shut her window, head bowed.

The wind’s howling died down as she shut the window behind her. She stood in front of it for a moment, as if you were just beyond the curtains.

A small smile spread across her lips at the thought.

"Farewell, you magnificent creature," she whispered, as a final tear tumbled down her cheek.

"My beautiful darling."

For a second, Alcina's heart stilled. The silence seemed deafening.

She waited a moment, hoping to hear you speak one last time.

She only heard the silence of nighttime, and her own soft breath in her chest.

"If you can hear me," the countess began after a long while. "I hope it's not painful beyond death," she whispered, her voice choked with regret. "I hope that I haven't failed you somehow."

She was silent for a moment, before speaking again.

"I'll never forget you."

A moment passed, and a sigh escaped the countess. She turned around, stepping back into the darkness of her bedchamber. For a moment, the shadows seemed to dance and shimmer, as if your spirit was right there with her.

The wind whistled outside. No.

She was going insane.

"I'm sorry," Alcina whispered, her voice filled with sorrow and guilt. "I should have been more careful. Maybe if I had been a better woman, you'd still be here with me."

Her voice was thick with grief.

After a few more moments of silence, Alcina sat down on her bed.

"I'll tell you about myself," she spoke quietly, her voice almost breaking into tears more than once.

"My favorite color is dark green. My favorite food is… was… well. You." She chuckled, "I like to read and listen to music. My favorite genre is jazz. My favorite band is… was.. uh. Never mind."

She fell silent again, taking a second to compose herself. She took a deep breath and continued.

"My favorite season is fall. I love looking at the orange leaves as they fall to the ground. I love the way the trees change color in the autumn. I remember how when it was still warm enough you would bring the girls and I outside to rake and play in the leaves..."

Another pause.

"My favorite time is night. When the birds and animals fall quiet, and the darkness closes in. My father used to say it's beautiful, but I think it's sad. A sort of beautiful kind of sadness... This melancholic time when all is quiet but yet, it isn’t. Wind still blows... trees still rustle... chirps of the daytime become the hooting sounds of owls..."

She laughed, the sound of her voice breaking her heart a tiny bit.

"Your favorite time was dawn, wasn't it?" She was speaking to herself now.

"We shared two things in common, did we not?"

She continued quietly, "We were passionate about art, and music." Her voice shook a little, tears now rolling down her cheeks.

"You would have loved to read my poetry, I just know. I remember how you used to ask about it and then I would always tell you that you had to let me see inside your sketchbook first."

She fell silent again, thinking about her words before speaking again.

"We were both lonely, and that's why we found each other. I mean, of course, it was thanks to Bela and the girls’ portraits, but in essence our attraction was built out of a sort seeking of solace in one another, no?"

Alcina's words became softer and softer as she spoke as if she was speaking to you.

"I know how much you wanted to paint me… how we spoke about it almost every day. Every night before bed you would come in, hands tracing the lines and features of my face... You’d say ‘Oh, Alci... my darling how I wish you’d model for me’..." She chuckled softly. Her chest ached with a thousand needles and pins as she remembered your words.

"I was always too tired. I wished I could've been a better muse for you, a better woman, a better lover."

Alcina's voice was breaking, but she still wanted to tell you one last thing.

"If you hear this," She murmured into the darkness, "I have to tell you..."

"I love you."

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