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pumpkinhrat · 9 months

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(Sorry to keep fic dumping in ur asks but this au has me feral :P)

Jonathan Sims is not a ‘dating app’ sort of man. Except for the fact that, yes, apparently, he is. There’s something deeply fascinating, he’s learning, about being able to click through people’s lives in a matter of minutes. To have their personal values and oddities laid out on a platter for him to pick through. For some inexplicable reason, people are willing to put their entire lives on an app if it has a chance to find them a partner. Or get them laid, if Tim is to be believed. That particular aspect, of course, is largely unappealing, but Jon has to admit that being able to thoroughly vet each person he talks to is incredibly enticing.

After leaving work (at 5 o’clock sharp, he may add, since his assistants never allow him to stay any later these days) and returning home, Jon is only able to resist the allure of his newly installed app for half an hour. He barely manages to make himself a cuppa (slightly underbrewed and thoroughly over-sugared) before he collapses on his grandmother’s old couch and swipes open his phone. At work, he’d only allowed himself a few minutes to peruse the profiles that Tim and Sasha had handpicked for him. Some of them had been insultingly bland – bureaucrats and financiers and the ilk – which is borderline offensive. He knows he was a bit uptight those first few years but good lord.

The one profile he keeps circling back to, even now curled up alone on his couch, is Martin’s. When Sasha had told him Martin was Tim’s favorite, Jon had almost unmatched on that premise alone but Martin’s biography had caught his eye. Jon balances his tea in one hand as he scans the words for a third time.

‘Tea, poetry, and cows. Love those nights where there are twice as many stars as usual.’ Jon’s mouth ticks up against his will again but he doesn’t try to tamp down on it now that he’s in the privacy of his own home. A poetry reference is enough to pique his interest, he can admit to himself (even if he thinks most contemporary writers’ language is typically far too flowery) and this quote in particular is eye-catching.

One of the many, many books Jon had consumed during his childhood had been a first edition of Laura Gilpin’s The Hocus-Pocus of the Universe. Each of the poems in that book had been short, simple, and utterly devastating. He’d spent many a late night under his covers with a flashlight, extrapolating endless meaning from 10 line poems. The Two-Headed Calf is a personal favorite. Something about how unearned tragedy is gently juxtaposed with naive wonder at simply living grabbed young Jon’s mind and has refused to let go. Objectively, he knows his connection to this particular poem likely has something to do with the sudden loss of his parents and the themes of hope and humanity in the face of grief that Gilpin’s work tends to address. That doesn’t stop him from tracing the words in Martin’s bio with an aching sort of fondness, though.

It’s probably unwise to connect a stranger and an emotionally charged poem from his childhood in his mind, but Jon can’t help it. He’s been… lonely since Georgie. Not that he’d ever admit that to Tim or Sasha. No, they’d be far too smug and far, far too concerned. And besides, it’s not as if he’s a child. It’s not as if he needs constant attention or affection. It’s quite the opposite in fact; Jon has always been a wildly independent individual. It’s just… Perhaps Georgie changed that part of him. Eroded the barriers he’s had up since his mother’s passing just enough for this– this feeling to seep in. He’d forgotten what it feels like to need someone. He hates the feeling and yet can’t help but curl into it like a lost child.

This is completely unadvisable. He is attaching– complicated emotions to a complete stranger because they happen to like a poem he read as a child. A swell of derisiveness rises in Jon’s chest and he firmly clicks his phone off. Tim and Sasha are a ridiculous pair who are always planning some stunt or another to get Jon ‘back out there’. It was absurd when Sasha had sent him to her cousin's flower shop with directions to ‘ask her what she thinks the most romantic flower in the world is’ and it’s absurd now. Utterly absurd and a definitive waste of his time. He should really just delete the app off of his phone and be done with the entire affair.

He turns on a documentary to drown out the twisting of his thoughts and sips at his lukewarm tea, grimacing at the taste. He really should stop trying to make tea for himself, it’s always a disappointment compared to what he’s used to at work. Speaking of… Jon reaches for his work bag and pulls out a few documents he’s been meaning to look into, settling them on the coffee table while the documentarian’s voice drones on smoothly in the background. He conveniently forgets to delete the app.

–

It’s been three days. Martin checks his phone no less than 10 times an hour. He catches himself staring at Jon’s open office door so often that he surreptitiously angles his chair so he’s not facing it anymore. His back hurts from twisting around.

Why did he think swiping right on his boss was a good idea?? Is he mad? It doesn’t matter if Jon Super Liked him first, it was probably a prank or a mistake or- or a really weird way to keep tabs on him. Jon has always been super intense like that. Because it’s not as if Jon’s actually interested in him. He hasn’t shown a single sign that he finds Martin any more intriguing than Tim or Sasha. He treats the three of them exactly the same – like friends.

It’s maddening.

When Martin had first returned to the office after swiping right, he’d barely been able to contain himself. He’d been giddy and sick with nerves and excitement at seeing Jon because surely he knows. Surely he knows now that Martin has been harboring a vicious crush for years and is finally acting on it. Or even if he doesn’t know all that, at least he knows Martin’s interested, that he’s an option as a romantic partner. It’s nauseating and elating and Martin couldn’t breathe when their eyes had first met that morning.

And then Jon had blithely handed him a statement to file and turned away without so much as a greeting. The adrenaline crash had nearly made his knees give out.

What was he thinking? It’s been three days of that now. Three days of delusional, hopeful anticipation followed by soul-crushing disappointment. It’s been exhausting and demoralizing and Martin really isn’t sure how much more he can take. He considered asking Tim for help but he thinks better of it when he remembers how Tim had teased when Martin had told him about his crush. No, it’s much better to deal with this on his own.

Tucking his phone under his desk, Martin opens up his notes app. A dozen half-formed opening lines shine back up at him. They range from completely corny to overly formal, battling between what Martin would normally open with and what he thinks Jon would like to see. He does avoid mentioning work or that they know each other in all of the messages, though. It seems best to follow Jon’s lead in that regard. A few of the ones he’s written directly mention the few things Jon had put in his bio, like the fact that he has a cat. Actually, that one may be a front runner…

“Watcha lookin’ at, Marto?” A voice booms from behind him and Martin jumps a half foot in the air.

“Christ, Tim!” Martin spins in his chair to face him, one hand plastered against his chest and the other clicking off his phone. “Warn a guy, would you? You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tim chuckles and Sasha makes an amused snort from her desk. Martin sends her a betrayed look.

“He called your name, like, three times dude,” Sasha laughs at him.

“Yeah, I was worried you might be ignoring me there for a moment. What could I have done to deserve such treatment?” Tim clutches a dramatic hand over his heart and Martin can’t help but huff a laugh. He presses his phone face down on his leg.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just absorbed in something. What do you need?”

“Well, you know the Rodriguez statement?”

It’s not until three hours and six dusty files later that Martin finally gets back to his phone. It takes another 45 minutes and a lot more hemming and hawing, but eventually he settles on an opening line.

‘Hi Jon! I’m looking for a cat-dad.’ Then, after a few more minutes of debating, he adds on ‘You seem perfect for the job!’ …Then a winking kaomoji. And a heart.

Subtlety’s for cowards, anyway.

[start here] --- [previous part]

ANON, KEEP FIC DUMPING ME PLEASE It makes me so sooo happy I don't even have the words to describe it! And receiving it makes me want to get back to drawing and I'm really happy it makes your brain go a bit feral ksjhfkshfk

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING Your writing style is absolutely *chef's kiss*

UPDATE: You can read the whole story by JJanuaryRain on AO3! Go give them lots of love -> "all's fair in love & tinder"

#anon's tma!da au fic #tma!da au #subtlety's for cowards baby lesss gooo #i can see jon watching cunk on earth as his go-to background noise #tma fic #jmart #jonmartin #asks

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tequiilasunriise · 11 months

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Fer Monster Prom (these QUEERS and their PROMS istg /lh) I need a plot point to be that Something Important broke down ohhh nooooo like a generator powering the school or even the portal needs an extra blast of life spark to stabilize it and as everyone’s running around tryna power the Important Thing up Cleo pulls up, takes one look of the situation, says, “More power? Stand back, ghouls and boos, your most benevolent mummy representative’s got this”, cups Frankie’s confused face (who still hunches down nevertheless fer Cleo like the confused yet willing puppy they are), gently kisses them smack on the cheek, and then-

BBBZZZTTTT!!!!⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

“YO THAT ACTUALLY WORKED?!?”

Whamo bamo the world is saved all thanks to Cleo’s great sacrifice of frizzled hair and lowkey charred bandages. Girlypop was standing RIGHT in the danger zone of lovestruck lightning; she knew the price which had to be paid and did NOT hesitate even though she had spent hours before picking out the perfect prom dress and all that. After recovering from Sheer Gay Shutdown™️, Frankie panics and holds Cleo’s slightly smoking body close as monsters rush around behind the pair.

“Cleo?! Are you okay?!”

“Oh my Ra, precious, that was… spooktacular…”

Cleo is so outta it from her super noble act of altruism. The most selfless of all monsters, truly.

#listen during the rwby hiatus i rlly need to latch onto other silly shows and mh g3 is just so cute and wholesome #i adore hard fought angsty as hell traumatic stories but ur girl needs a diverse diet u know? adorable baby gays being first love dorks???#SAAYY LESSS IM IN!!!!#the holy trinity of iconic gay proms is bumbleby catradora n lumity #can clankie turn that shit into a four horsemen type deal!!! we have yet to find out!! :DDD!!#clankie #monster high g3 #frankie stein #cleo de nile

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