#let me be part of this world okay

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4.5: Morning Period.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #mdzs au #Yunmeng Jiang training arc AU #This is 4.5 because it was originally all supposed to be part of the same comic #This part wasn't as punchy and I was close to scrapping it but I figured I'd at least give it a chance. #Despite the fact I already had it in pencils...cleaning it up took a very long time. Still hate it. Sunken cost fallacy enacted: It lives. #Okay quick commentary (I'm very late to post today) #While this is supposed to be a 'snapshot' of routine - Wei Wuxian slept in. Normally he is up earlier. #Meaning he delayed the dueling part of the day. Hence LWJ's hand gesture. #I also imagine that LWJ and JC have a bit more of a friendship in this AU since they spend a few hours in the morning sans WWX #I always enjoyed how JC and LWJ on paper seem like they would get along but Do Not in canon. Let me have a world where they do.

[inkskinned]

oh, i am so enamored with the way the lesson of the velveteen rabbit rings true in our modern life. i love that we name our spaceships and write love poems to old buildings. i love that we all cried about the mars rover, that we made her so real that she was no longer a machine but a friend, a companion, a hero.

i love that we become attached to certain mugs, spoons, mason jars. that we develop a strange protective love-hate of our tablets, that we feel weirdly reverent about our new notebook. we name our cars silly things like the crab shack and call our favorite whisk attachment the one great destroyer.

there's a dog statue at my local park that has a golden back and golden head from how often people have pet it. at my college campus, people love an ugly little pointless sculpture we call bacon pants or bacon legs. we assign personalities to fountains, parks, laptops.

i love that our basic instinct is to include others in our community, even where there isn't a real community to speak of. that we love things, even when they cannot physically love us back - for us, the exchange isn't what's important. we give our heart to things so entirely that the thing begins to, in its own way, have its own heart.

the last transmission from the mars rover was not words; it was data. nevertheless, someone translated for her. my battery is low and it's getting dark. they made her last words a poem. they looked at data and saw a soul, a divine spark.

i keep thinking about the first AI born truly free-thinking. i keep thinking about the way scientists and artists talk about their work. how their eyes light up and their hands start moving, how even when they're flat broke and confused and the coding isn't working - there's this love of the thing. i keep thinking that whatever is being born into this new world will be born here on purpose, over a long time, with great energy. that when it arrives, the first thing it will know is most likely the hands of a creator delighted, overcome.

that we made it in our image. that the image we wrote was one of human compassion within ingenuity. that we couldn't make this thing without it being a labor of real-and-true: love.

#okay yes we can have a marxist conversation about how it's dangerous to make the commodity #into a token of love or affection #or how the first truly free-thinking AI will likely be the result of a megacorporation and therefore not have #like the BEST humans behind it #but let me for a minute believe - #even the stoic among us have worked on something #for long hard hours #and in that working #didnt you kind of learn to love it? at least a little if not completely? #and when it was over - it was YOURS #and it having been the result of your blood sweat tears unpaid hours and no leave #still; you know - you MADE something #and that changes how u see it #bc a part of u will have to live in it #..... and from that.... how can we see ourselves #and not love? and not care? #it will come into a world where its god-creator will HAVE to be there #and that moment ....... won't it of course be one of joy? how could it not be? #both machine & man in that moment making a strange and new discovery

[mossyflowers]

It's always the little things

#rainworld #rain world #rainworld oc #rain world oc #iterator oc #rainworld saint #IF THIS FLOPS I'M EXPLODING #the inspo for this hit me like. out of nowhere and did not let me stop until this was done #aside from the backgrounds but it's okay. it's. it's part of the story or whatever #anyways here's ur robot yuri 👍 #genuinely if this only gets like 10 notes i'll actually explode

[tunanoodlesoup]

smiles and goes insane over them

#the brainrot won over and held me hostage send help #HILASKASKDHGASHFIUH they mean SO MUCH TO MEMEE EUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEU #im ALWAYS FROTHING OVER THAT ONE PART IN THE MOVIE WHEN HES ABOUT TO GRAB THE KEY AND THE CAMERA JUST SHIFTS FROM ONE SIDE OF THE KEY TO #THE OTHER LIKE CASEYS WORLD JUST FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN HEARING HES GONNA LOOSE LEO AGAIN #STOOPP S TOOOPPPP THIS ONE MOMENT IN THE MOVIE HAUNTS ME ALONE LET ALONE THE REST OF IT #AUUAUAAUUHHGGHGHG AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHFSIUS THEEEEE THE THE THE EVERS <3 #i was ltierally sucking up every bit of peepaw lore i could from the QNA AHHAAHAHSIKDDSHUIFDO #peepaw leo being a canon dad makes me as happy as knowing donnie is canonly austistic LMFAO #okay let me stfu #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt casey junior #rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt future leo #peepaw leo #HAHAHHAHIDHU #thats a real tag #rottmnt edit #okay #SCREEEAMS AAUSUFUUDUHDHUGUGHH EHTHTHRMMM HEMMMMMT RHEUEUEUUAUAUAUUGHGH AUUUGUHHH #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [emotional]

[gumy-shark]

just realized my situation in college is so funny rn. heres why in a greentext format

>be gumy's parents >you are Good Christian Parents who want your daughter to Walk In The Ways Of The Lord >when she wanted to go to a secular college you were Very Worried that your Impressionable Daughter would get Radicalized By The Godless Atheist College People (this one is actually somewhat justified- i AM very impressionable and got radicalized in junior high in a way that was very very hard on my mental health and my relationships with my family) > be relieved when she chooses to go to a Good Christian College instead (it was my own free choice and i had my reasons). > surely, with her environmental science classes being taught from a God-Fearing Perspective, and with no Godless Atheist College People there, she won't get radicalized! > she gets radicalized anyways

#in my defense. learning about environmental science in the world today is like. how can you Not become radical #like. youre telling me there was 33000 PARTS PER MILLION OF LEAD IN THE SOIL OF A POOR NEIGHBORHOOD AND THE GOV KNEW AND DID NOTHING??? #WHILE RESPONDING WITH MUCH GREATER AID AND SPEED TO A FAR LESSER PROBLEM IN A NEARBY RICHER AND WHITER NEIGHBORHOOD??? #wow :))) okay :))) thats so cool and awesome guys :))) go america amirite? :))) #like the reason environmental science is such a leftist science #is because after like 5 minutes learning about the state our world is in and why you cease to be conservative #also my envirosci prof is great. like he teaches the class in a very balanced way?? #he presents the facts of what's happening and allows class discussion but lets us draw our own conclusions from them #which is a based teaching method here bc if he presented them with his idea of what we Should Be Doing ppl would get resistant

[nightshadeowl]

Doing the dishes and crying into my drying cloth trying not to laugh where my roommates can hear over the realization that in the Metal Gear AU it'd have to be Sexyman Zircon as the guy who weebed too close to the sun (Nuclear Gundams)

#if you'll excuse me i need to go hide in the closet until i'm ready to face the world again #anyway. #okay ignore all of that truly the best part is the concept of jack doing Snake Things let's be real #passenger status #I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO IT I'D HAVE TO WRITE OUT TOO MUCH

[aamezish]

the limit was seven pegs last night

#also moral of the story was to drink slowly not the 4 pegs i drank in 5 minutes because the aftermaths were disastrous #i kinda love what alcohol did to my nervous system #i think ill have better tolerance if i let it take over me instead of gulping it #had to induce emesis and vomit in volumes 3 times because i ate too much of gravy momos and manipuri cuisine #also this drink did not gave an hangover or headache today morning thats because it was super costly #its kinda magical the whole alcohol world and the science behind it #like there was this supermarket wholly for types of whiskey rum gin vodka brandy even costing upto 80k #and people just enter and purchase like wow #plus they're blended and fermented over years and years one was like 35 years #i passed out actually but it was so fun #the only scary part was thinking what if i die lmao #and to think this is a regular experience in boys hostel is like wow okay um youre ruining yourself #i could do this again me and a friend got a vodka we'll have it on her birthday #100/100 experience

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

LITERALLY JUST WROTE THE WORST MOST DISAPPOINTING CLIMAX OF HALLOWED BODIES BUT AT LEAST IT’S WRITTEN!!!!!!

#being disappointed with your own writing is the worst feeling in the world but also THE SCENE DONEEEEE #it’s literally so awful I don’t even wanna think about it LMAOOOO #in my mind I did whatever it is I wanted to do which I’m not even sure what I wanted to do #DO NOT CARE BOOK IS ALMOST DONE LETS GO ONE MORE SCENE #like the whole point of this scene is just confusing to me and I think a big part of why it doesn’t work is because it’s not organic to #the plot so far lol everything that I love in this book has been unplanned #the planned stuff ehhhh not very good #I actually have a feeling most of this book will come to be in revisions lol #so like okay whatever !!!!

[punctuation-completionist]

you don’t have to answer this ask but wow how are you supposed to be the bad guy fucking apologizing for reacting badly to being told to kill yourself?? i hate this website

well okay hold up i never said i was the bad guy. i said there were misunderstandings on both sides and that i was sorry for an issue in one part of how i handled it. just one.

#ask tag #not counting #like um. i do understand that maybe this person's sense of humor is way different then mine okay #but like. they said that they didn't mean it legitimately and once they saw it was haarmful they apologized #for me to say ''i am glad i understand your side of the story and you understand mine'' i am not saying i'm the bad guy #there's really no ''bad guy'' in this situation as i see it because the world is more nuanced then that y'know #like. sometimes people have a sense of humor that you can't pick up on. it doesn't mean you shouldn't state your point of view #and say ''that wasn't how i want people to talk to me and i also won't let you do that'' #also the only part i really ''apologized'' for was that i used a term for them that was uncomfortable #i assume for gender reasons. and i understand where that comes from. if someone called me ''girl'' while arguing i wouldn't like it #whenever i said sorry after that i did my best to try and word it in a way like ''i am sorry this happened but it's not my fault'' #like how when. idk. someone's grandma dies and you say ''sorry for your loss'' you're not saying that you killed their grandma #you're just saying that you feel bad that the thing happened but not that it's your fault #and yes. i do agree that the situation may have been fixed if they just said it was a joke but hindsight is 20/20 right? #anyways. that's my take on the situation. #and like. idk. if they apologized and told me how they saw it. i'm gonna believe them because i have had WAY more malicious people here #like idk. there have been anons who have said wayy worse and there's no discernable reason for why they would #like that one anon who told me that i should get my arms chopped off or something. idk. i deleted it before i could commit it to memory #and that was on purpose #but like. my point is. there's worse people. and if i focus all of my energy about being mad over a person who made one joke in bad taste #idk just seems like a waste of time #at least that's my perspective on the situation. never said i was the bad guy. just sorry it happened #also sorry it happened so late at night for me! i need an ibuprofen and a bagel now

[cryptidafter]

LXC going from having a close confidant (someone he could trust who understood him 100%, a person he could actually be himself around) to being utterly and completely alone :)))))

Having to battle all of that anger, resentment, grief and despair all on his own bc everyone else is content with JGY fading into obscurity. He'll never get the answer to the questions: Who was he really? Did I ever know him?

Everyone expects him to move on. He has to move on. But he never does, does he? :))))

#mdzs #lan xichen #let that man rest #cryptid’s thoughts #like who is he going to talk to? #JL would be the most sympathetic and understanding but he's a kid #his brother isn't available (& this is just my opinion but I have always felt like LWJ won't ever admit that WWX & JGY have similarities) #god forbid LXC breakdown #god forbid he show any sign of not being okay #part of me can see a world where WWX helps LXC through his grief but idk it's complicated? #like I've read stories where it works really well but idk if WWX would want to get involved lol #xiyao

[synthville]

questions about seven and raffi that i need this episode to acknowledge and/or answer include ‘are they together?’ and ‘literally why are they acting like they never met let alone got engaged in 21st century france at the edge of a crumbling chateau’ and ‘it’s been 2 whole episodes why haven’t they mentioned each other at all like is this a deep cover kind of thing or did y’all (writers etc) give up on their relationship because y’all were never legitimately invested in the first place🧐’ and ‘seriously what is going on with these two there hasn’t been one meaningful or offhanded mention about their relationship status and is the silence on the issue meant to be an answer because if so i hate it’ and ‘do y’all (writers etc) know that stable relationships are actually not boring or illegal like you can just write that and no one will arrest you it’s fine’ and ‘did seven get to see raffi in her sexy spy get up before they parted ways because i think she would love it as much as or even possibly more than me (known raffi enjoyer)’ and and and—

#saffi #raffi musiker #seven x raffi #(okay the engagement might have been an extremely delusional reading of The Kiss That Stopped The World (my world) on my part 😭 still tho! #ive been looking away as to not go big crazy but like #what are they doing lol #this isn’t even bare minimum it’s literally just nothing #i would LOVE to be proven wrong though #would ​absolutely rejoice at being incorrect in my assessment of what they’re going (nothing lmao) #idk they were in this iffy situation in s2 so they never got to have any real peace #until the literal end #an ending which suggested there was more to come in terms of the evolution of their relationship and each other #a ‘more’ which seemed intentional and hopeful and headed somewhere secure #only for s3 to start with both of them completely silent and unaffected ? #BE FOR REAL! #and not to go there but idgaf imma go there they would not do this 2 a straight couple lbr #idk im getting raffi was in love and seven wasn’t ready vibes and to that i say: go to hell :) #but let me calm down and cross my fingers maybe there’s something im not seeing 🫥 #.rfi

[unknownarmageddon]

HOZIER

HOZIER!!!!!

#i’ve tried to do this twice now cause tumblr keeps fucking crashing and my drafts don’t save and it’s. actually pissing me off #so i dunno how much i’m gonna have to say cause i’ve already tried to say it TWICE already and i am so fucking frustrated #but!!! hozier yippee #answering asks #chair asks #chair!! #okay so. anyway. i love when songs have more than one part god #part one is very pretty ough it’s like. Just his voice and some stuff in the background #OH woag another language;; #wagh i love how the voices like. start joining in at the end #and the like build up of the music #OUHHH ohhh woah part two is so so different than part one #Not what i expected this fuckin bangs #i love the music it like scratches my brain #aughhh #AUGH god the part where like #he’s like i wanna run against a world that’s turning the way he sings that part is so fucking good #ouhhhh;;;; #banger really #if i fade away let me fade away…. #I WANNA FADE AWAY WITH YOU….. #yeah augh #this one’s up there on my list i think #i’d move so fast that i’d outpace the dawn!!!!!!! #anyway. #part one’s interesting but god part two dude #oh oh and and i’m hyped too cause unreal unearth is the one i’ve heard like Nothing from cackles

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

My parents and I watched the season 3 finale of Star Wars: Rebels tonight and I can't believe my mom was the one who was like "WHY ARE THEY* ALL DYING?!" and I was the one being all, "don't worry I'm sure it will be fine." this is the most role reversal we have ever done.

(*to clarify I mean the rebels in general, the main cast was fine)

#star wars #star wars rebels #star wars rebels spoilers #what's really funny is that this season ended pretty much like 'the last jedi' did it with hardly anyone making it out #and them all crowded on the main iconic ship #and I HATED the last jedi #but like it just felt so much more HOPEFUL in rebels Idk man #also yeah I did make this post as a way to shamelessly react post in the tags #Idk even where to start #the first part of the finale was crazy man their leader literally CUT AN IMPERIAL SHIP IN HALF by ramming his command ship into it #like if you're gonna die doing a kamikaze run let it be by CUTTING ANOTHER SHIP IN HALF #and what the FUDGE is bendu WHAT was his deal even #kanan showing up yelling at him like merry with treebeard in the LOTR movies #'but you're a part of this world! aren't you?' #my mom was so mad at bendu for refusing to help akjghljasgdhfdgjags I'm over there like 'wait until they ACTUALLY ATTACK HIS PLANET' #and haha I was right #okay this is so silly but I'm so happy they didn't kill off agent callus that dude has really grown on me #he was doing his best thrawn's just insane with strategy #also THRAWN aklghfjaskgdls okay I LOVED his reaction to bendu being “?!?!? shoot it?!?!” *windows error noise* #man was foiled by his own underlings and angry force rafiki #HERA CALLING KANAN 'MY LOVE' OH MY WORD JUST *MARRY* EACH OTHER ALREADY YOU BASICALLY ALREADY ARE #'looks like the family's back together' STOP #the yavin base name drop #me through the entire space battle: do you know what we need right now? the battlestar galactica #just looked it up and apparently a star destroyer is actually not much bigger than a battlestar which is. FASCINATING to me #they'd be like the same class of ship #which tracks yeah #anyway #they did have a few ships get away so they did actually have a better success rate than in TLJ #but of course they had MANDALORIANS to help them out here so

[brown-little-robin]

lads I don't know if I can take this

#😭 #this is about anime it's nothing serious #hunter hunter is making me so sad... I might have to look up how this arc ends because I don't remember anything after it #and I remember that it made me sad when I was little #and I don't think I've even gotten to the worst part #I hate these parasitic hivemind things they're making me so grateful to live in the real world. and so worried for Gontachi #my boys........ please........ let them be happy.... let them live #wait!!! I remember something from after the chimera ants arc!!! I know we see Leorio again!!! yes!! ha ha ha!! yes!!! #okay I feel a little better now. Leorio is a good guy #okay. okay. deep breaths. and bedtime #hunterxhunterblogging

[keeps-ache]

could be cool !!

#just me hi #there's a specific part of pi.e i have a disdain for and it happens at pretty much the beginning of the story #don't like it cuz it always feels awkward when i write it. no fun! #but i was Just thinking of how i could show it and ouuugugushsughsosgh. ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgh #Could Be Cool !! #could be really cool !!! #Could be. let's keep it realistic before i jinx myself hfbhs :3 #i just gotta finish part one of chap one and then.. and Then.... ehehhegh... and then i gotta start working on the Rest of the first fourth #of this story :/ #i have next to nothing for this spot so. let's see how bad winging it can go hfvsh #the first fourth is pretty calm i think - not much happens so i dunno if it'll take as long as i think it will #don't want it to drag too much but also don't want it to go too quick or it may just disappoint me lol #//anyway i gotta make a timeline for this thing #oh and also the little lore thing i keep forgetting about lol #the problem w/ that is that there is So Much idk how to organize it fbsh #it's prolly not really that much but Man. feels like a lot hfh #it's mostly species + histories stuff i'm stuck on so ! #/MAN. okay i'm thinking about it again #i have a normal brain about some of the things involved here hvbshvf 👍👍👍 #could be cool. that's all i'm here to say lmao :3 #//omw now though - i have 8 more pages to go and then i gotta start formatting part 2 of 1 👍 #stopped for like a week despite Insane progress bc i hit the Tiniest road bump in the world hfvhbs #but on it now!! so here i go :D toobles !!

[thebleedingeffect]

.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks. #ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-