#let me hyperfixate god dammit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hyperfixated-gvf · 1 year

Text

That's Christmas to Me

On the ninth day of Tropemas, hyperfixated-gvf gave to me:

A family Christmas with glasses!Joshy!

Christmas Song Pairing: "That's Christmas to Me" by Pentatonix

Trope: Meet the Parents/Family Christmas

~~~

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Reader

Warnings: None!

Words: 1.4k

~~~

“Do you remember the first time you met my parents?”

Josh’s voice was low and playful in the kitchen of your home, and his question drew the combined giggles of Karen, Kelly, Jita, and Jake, who were all gathered around the island as well.

Oh god. Not this again.

“It has been years,” you complained quietly, pouring more creamer into your coffee. “When is that gonna die out?”

And it had been years. So many that you and Josh had since gotten married, bought a house, settled down, had some kids — and yet no one seemed too eager to drop that very first Christmas.

“It leaves an impression when you light the tree on fire, dear,” Kelly chuckled. He’d been the one to put it out, and he was also the one to never let you live it down. “You’ll have to forgive us for holding it against you.”

“Are we talking about when Y/N ruined Christmas?”

A new whispered voice entered the kitchen, and Sam quietly padded into the space, eyes sleepy. None of the boys were used to getting up this early, but it was the only way to get any semblance of adult peace on this particular day, so they all sacrificed some sleep when Karen and Kelly had asked if you’d all get up early for more time together.

Josh laughed a little bit, the faux-discontent on your face that Josh had derived your nickname from. “Aww, Kitten,” he cooed, “don’t tell me you’re still embarrassed.”

You didn’t react to his arms snaking around you, resisting a smile that threatened to break your character. Embarrassed? No. Exasperated? Yes.

“I’m always surprised that it was the tree that sticks with you all,” you sighed. Desperate to steer the topic away from the tree disaster, you threw Danny under the bus (sorry Danny) – he and his family had been invited like they were every year, but this time, they had family flying in from out of state and were coming over for New Year’s, instead. “You’re either not remembering or refusing to acknowledge the fact that Danny ate all the good chocolate truffles that your grandmother sent in and then blamed it on Sam.”

Sam, of course, scoffed immediately and muttered, “I haven’t forgotten…”

Jake chuckled, clearing his throat a bit before rumbling out, “Yeah, but she sends those every year, and every year, someone inevitably eats the last one before someone else gets to have one. That’s an ongoing battle.”

Jita grimaced at your sympathetically, but agreed with Jake. “He’s right. They really did do that every year. Josh tried to trick me into eating the last one during one of my first Christmases with them.”

“Didn’t work,” sighed Josh, chin on your shoulder. “The tree thing was the first of its kind.”

Dammit, Josh.

“It was Ronnie’s faulty lighting!” you said, maintaining the argument that you’d had since the day it happened. The cord had been moonlighting as a ribbon and was foolishly plugged into a 100 year old outlet strip that offered no protection when you tripped on it and accidentally jerked it out of its place where it had been overheating anyways.

Either way, the outlet sparked up and caught a branch of their live fir tree on fire, the fire alarm had gone off, and a third of the tree burned before Kelly managed to put it out with the extinguisher while Danny had followed with a popcorn bowl filled with water. A burned tree and soggy presents – Sam had called you Y/N the Grinch Wench for the entire rest of your time there until you threatened to leave and Josh gave him a Kelly-level stink eye.

“It was so not my fault!” Ronnie herself ambled in next, meaning that the last of the adults that had been able to come to Christmas this year were all awake before the kids. Karen gave her a kiss on the cheek and handed her a mug of coffee, wishing her a Merry Christmas that was echoed in a whisper by everyone else. “It was…ah shit, who was I dating at the time?” she cursed, trying to think back so long ago.

“Denny,” Sam supplied, “because we joked that Danny was the superior name afterwards.”

“Of course you did,” Ronnie sighed, smiling into her drink. It was true, after all, and Denny was an ex for a reason. “Denny was the one who plugged it in that morning.”

Josh tightened his hold on you and kissed your hair, obviously feeling the nostalgia creep in from all those years ago, so early in your relationship. And look at where you were now — surrounded by his family, who had quickly become yours as well, your children sleeping in the next room (though you assumed it wouldn’t stay that way for long), and the love you held having only matured like fine wine.

You sighed, finally settling back into him, and accepted his touch like you usually did, melting into him like warm batter. “We hadn’t even said our first ‘I love you’s at that point,” you said, turning your head to look at Josh. “I can’t believe you kept me around after that.”

He chuckled in your ear and whispered, “I still love you, by the way,” which sent a shiver through you. “My family would have invited you back afterwards whether I kept you around or not, though,” he sighed, this time loud enough for the family to hear.

Jake laughed, a little too loud, and flinched away when Ronnie smacked him on the arm, shushing him. Still, he grinned cheekily at you and said, “Yeah, I don’t think we’d had a Christmas as entertaining as that one since Josh and I woke up really early and hid the presents.”

“Correction: hid everyone else’s presents,” Sam pouted, his voice still rough. His always stayed that way after waking up the longest. “And they told Ron and I that Santa had to leave early and decided that our presents weren’t as important.”

You could hear Josh’s squeak of a bitten back laugh through his hands, which he’d jerked back to cover his mouth with at the memory. He couldn’t hold it all back, though, and his giggles escaped between his fingers. “That was cruel of us,” he admitted, though no apology was to be found in his tone.

“And also the reason we got rid of the Santa tradition,” Karen remarked.

That had been one thing you noticed that first Christmas; you were all full-blown adults, but you were used to your own parents still signing notes with ‘Santa’ and referencing him when talking about gifts. But Josh had explained that in order to encourage thankfulness and mindfulness (and apparently good behavior), they’d abolished the idea of Santa and brought each child out gift shopping for the others, then put their own names and any gifts sent in by aunts and uncles and grandparents on the rest.

It was a tradition that you’d carried over with your own kids, much to Kelly and Karen’s delight, as it gave them an excuse to gather the entire family and all the grandkids for a big Christmas every year.

And speaking of…

“PRESENT TIME!”

All the cousins that had decided to have a sleeping-bag dogpile sleepover in one guest room came running out, barefooted and bed-headed, after their rousing voices floated out of the bedroom in the hall.

Saying goodbye to the peace of the early morning, Josh gave you one more squeeze before he opened his arms to accept your youngest, who’d snuck into your bed in the middle of the night but stayed asleep until her siblings and cousin came to wake her up.

Your little Cindy Lou Who.

All the other kids had a quick hug and kiss from Grandma, Grandpa, and all their aunts and uncles, they all lined up around the tree, talking and babbling excitedly to each other. Both Jake’s kid and yours were around the same age, and they were each motioning with their hands at the presents they thought were theirs while your younger middle child thought that every gift was theirs, and had to be corralled by Ronnie away from the tissue paper peeking out of some bags.

“Well, Christmas has officially begun,” Josh huffed, coming up next to you once your youngest has wiggled down to get to the rest of the family to watch the unfolding chaos as the grandparents dealt out gifts. “That’s for sure.”

You slinked an arm around his waist, reveling in the way he immediately responded by wrapping his body around you, the rim of his glasses digging into your skull not even bothering you. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

Tag list:

@fleetsonfire @theweightofstardust @theatrekidjosh @fictional-duchess @greta-van-yeet @prophetofthedune @toothgapjoshy @gretavanfleas @gretavanfleetposts @doodle417 @razorbladekiszka @sammysvanfeet @s-u-t @lallisonl @hayley1623 @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @toxbexannouncedx @sammyslappers @alexxavicry @thecoldwind @maedesculpaeusoubi @jordierama @sarakay-gvf @gabyvanfleet

Taglist request form here

#12 days of tropemas 2022 #tropemas 2022 #greta van fleet fics #gvf fics #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka x reader #gvf fluff #josh kiszka fluff

119 notes · View notes

mischief-lies-and-stories · 6 months

Text

Loki Episode 2 Reactions (Less Coherent Edition)

It's very long this week, sorry. Obvious spoilers.

I miss Sylvie but I hope we go to the World's Fair today

SHUT UP WITH THAT FUCKING EPISODE TITLE OH MY GOD

fuck i forgot how hysterical he sounds at the beginning :(((

YUCK kissing (sorry)

Little peppier of a logo theme today okay

Okay I yelled YES! extremely fucking loud when Loki stepped out of the time door in the full fucking suit. It was so loud I hurt my own ears

Ugh fuck off Wolfe

Oh what's happening. He's not a variant?

"He's a friend from work" is all I'm fucking hearing here

Mobius fam this is your job why is Loki better at your job than you are?

THE RUFFLES I'm sorry I'm stuck on the ruffles

B-15 what's going on

YEAH LOKI FUCK HIM UP

dude you can't outrun Loki this guy's a fast runner!

YES LOKI THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID

Loki, teleport! Have you forgotten all your fucking powers???

YES I LOVE YOU I LOVE THIS GOOD BOI

YESSSSSSSSSSS

I am kind of pissed Mo doesn't know which one is the real Loki, but I'm gonna choose Fool and say if he'd been there he'd have figured it out.

"Suits you" Loki oh my god "tighter than it looks isn't it"

OB!!!!!!!

OB???

YES OH MY GOD YES MY BOI IS IN HYPERFIXATION MODE

OB I love you

Loki and Mobius doing technical work and lightly bickering about it is my fucking shit give me this workplace sitcom

Oh my god. It's my sitcom episode. Not the one I wanted but it's a fucking sitcom right now.

CASEY WHEN YOU MEET OB YOU'RE GONNA FANBOY SO FUCKING HARD I CAN'T WAIT

hang on didn't he just say he needed to look at it don't take it back now

Mobius calling Loki out for not letting Wolfe get under his skin I'm dying

Leave him alone you fucking demon school bus bastard at least he knows himself. Do you know yourself Exxie? Do you even know who you become? Watch yourself you fucking pit stain

Stop letting him talk Loki, because it's gonna get worse. He's just gonna bring more shit in until you break

Mobius is like aw shit this is about to get bad

Loki don't

PET??!! PET??!! LOKI PUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT FUCK GOOD COP BAD COP JUST FUCK HIM UP

Loki's little smile when Mobius tells that stupid joke

I know he's being chill and blase because it's an interrogation and it's the tactic he's employing right now, but for real WHY DOESN'T HE CARE??!! (I mean I've written this characterization of him before, but I still don't get it)

Oh nevermind holy SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

oh no now I have theories I don't have any business having

LOKI THAT'S NOT EQUIVALENT OH MY GOD

Mobius :(

I get why Loki changed the subject, but I'm not ready to change the subject

GODDAMN THAT SMILE MOBIUS PUTS ON LOKI'S FACE FUCKS ME UP

OB BE CAREFUL OH MY GOD

FUCKING FUCK WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

LOKI FUCK HIM UP

oh I love this they're so good at this

Loki how big is your back pocket?!

Wait. I'm not falling for this. I'm not falling for this. They planned this. Mobius is in on this.

Because if they didn't plan this. If Loki's doing this on his own. Mobius will kill him. And there goes the lokius.

FUCK YES I KNEW IT

I TRUSTED YOU

OB AND CASEY!!! Shame to meet under these circumstances

YES MEET CUTE SIGN HIS GUIDEBOOK

YES OH MY GOD I WAS JOKING

CUTIES HOLY SHIT

and cue McDonald's commercial I guess

YES HIS NAME IS BILL WHO WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT

no put this theme back where it came from or so help me

AWKWARD

well I like that beyond Loki's first nerves, it seems all business and no romance

OH BOTH OF YOU STOP SPECULATING THEY AREN'T TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER

Mobius shut up

Oh I'm so glad I have context for "you slapped me in the face"

Oh fuck Mobius I hate when you figure things out a second too late

Thank you S

Oh MOTHER OF

YESSS FUCK YESSS GET EM

Oh my god

WHERE IS THE BITCH

OH MY GOD HE'S TOUCHING HIM

Dammit his name is Jack. Some other guy's Bill though!!! There is a Bill!!!

#loki #loki tv show #loki season 2 #sylvie laufeydottir #mobius m mobius #loki season 2 spoilers #loki 2x02 #loki series reactions

8 notes · View notes

poryphoria · 9 months

Note

RANDOM QUESTION OUT OF THA BLUE BUT!!! I've been thinking about what various madcom characters' fursonas would be bc i do that with all my hyperfixations and im v curious what animals youd assign them,, (especially crackpo n phoobert bc ur takes on both of them are delightful !!

OHH!!! I REMEMBER U SENDING ME A REQ ABT THIS AND I NEVER GOT TO IT BUT I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SO IM ABSOLUTELY AT LEAST GONNA GIVE YOU AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

see the thing about this question i LOVE is that you can answer it two ways: "what the characters would say their fursona is" and "what God and everyone else knows their fursona is". "jerma you'd be a rat" vs "lion wolf hybrid king of the junjle". you get me?

we'll start with what they'd make up as fursonas- i think phobos would try to be as realistic as possible n choose a deathstalker scorpion, nd make VERY clear to specify that he has remarkably small claws (so you know how potent his venom is!!!) [scorpion venom is relative to the claw size- smaller claws = more potent venom, as they have less need to hold down their prey!]. tbf he'd probably literally just base it off one of his owned scorpions- no fancy bits n baubles attached, although he would also design UV markings [scorpions, along with many other animals glow under UV light!] for himself so the design isn't necessarily bland or lacking.

crackpot would be the complete opposite, however- he'd be too indecisive with which bird species he likes best that he'd just give up n make an every-hybrid of some manner (tho it WOULD look most similar to a vulture, i think!). he'd literally make a sparklebird. rainbow feathers, scene getup, FUCK YOU let him have fun for once in his miserable life!!! realistically unlike phobos, who cannot ever take the stick out of his ass for 2 seconds to indulge in a little whimsy, i think crackpot probably had a fursona at some point (he just kinda stopped having time to think about it after The Occurrences. you get it!)

now. as for what god and everyone else would assign them....... actually a little tougher. bc a scorpion still feels right for phobos, symbolically- the ole fable about the scorpion and the frog, y'know? DAMMIT, PHOBOS. YOU WIN THIS TIME! but maybe he'd be a species with weaker venom. Just cause. (i could be really extra mean and say pseudoscorpion but cmon man.)

crackpot on the other hand.... ive gone into such meticulous detail about the kinds of bird he could be, but the funniest part is i don't think God would let him be a bird at all. birds are something he takes great comfort in, something he wants to be-- but he's a pretender, he's always worn a mask his whole life, always wished he could be somebody else. he'd be something that exhibits batesian mimicry [batesian mimicry is when one harmless species mimics another, more threatening species]-- i think he'd be a hoverfly, a type of fly that mimics bees! alternatively he could be a salamander but i don't have cool symbolism reasons for that i just think it's right.

TLDR;

if we're talking "jerma you'd be a rat" phobos could be a scorpion or pseudoscorpion and crackpot would either be a hoverfly or salamander, if we're talking "lion wolf hybrid king of the junjle" phobos would be an ostensibly cooler scorpion & crackpot would be some kinda sparklebird.

TY FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO WRITE AN ESSAY!!!! i love prompts like this so so much plsplspls don't hesitate to send me three hundred asks of this nature I LOVE FEELING LIKE A GREEK PHILOSOPHER

#it said something #pory turgles #pory writes an essay in response to an ask...AGAIN!

8 notes · View notes

smartzelda · 1 year

Note

3, 6, 8, 15, 16, 27, 28, 29? (for ao3 wrapped)

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Okay okay oh boy oh boy

3. I think I'm gonna have to check what I posted this year first but I think I have an answer.

So I'm gonna go with "Neat Freak" with "Alone Time" as a close second. Last year I started writing my first (yet unposted) smut and it's this year I've started posting for real. I can't understate Alone Time's impact on me in writing challenging fic (ambiguously trans/cis characters in this case), especially with my first otp, but Neat Freak? Oh boy.

Neat Freak has such a hold on me for a number of reasons. It's the longest one shot I posted this year, I churned it out for like a few weeks straight, L and Light would not stop talking they would not let me be free. It took up huge space in my brain, it was my first real attempt with (non ambiguously) trans characters, it was my first fic for a fandom. I enjoy it immensely, and no matter how the numbers are, I feel really accomplished for capturing the characters the way I wanted to, getting into the character's headspace so I didn't feel afraid (with it being my first Death Note fic and all), and evoking their dynamic in the way I'd desired when the idea first struck my brain. It was a frustrating one to edit and I was impatient to finish, but it was worth it.

ㅤ

6. I know it said favorite but I'm gonna tier it anyways. My number three favorite goes to "Holding Back is Overrated", my number two goes to "He's My Girlfriend, My Partner, My One and Only", and my number one goes to

*cue drumroll*

"Space Dust"

At the time I'd thought about saving that title for a future IZ fic or something but man do I love that title

ㅤ

8. Ahshsbsj time to check again but considering my jumping around I have a feeling it'll be a tie between Soriku and ZbDb

...so yeah

ㅤ

15. Hoo boy. If it's one I started this year and never finished or posted in any capacity, I'd say a certain Zbakr for Xion's fusion au. If it's a chaptered fic I started posting and need to post more of next year, I'd say "He is my Girlfriend, My Partner, My One and Only". And if it's wip I've carried with me for years and haven't post it but dammit I will get it out, I'll go with a certain longass hishiba neo twewy oneshot.

ㅤ

16. Oh wow that's a good question. I actually don't know. Let's see what ao3 says.

So ao3 says it's fluff with variations of "not beta read" in at a close second. I'd say I'm surprised with the first one, but also it's only tagged in 11 fics out of 46 so far, so I'd say I just apparently don't use many of the same tags😂😂

ㅤ

27. When I do listen to stuff while writing it's often some song I'm hopelessly obsessed with that's usually faster paced. Earlier this year, I listened to Pleiades by Harusaruhi, Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon, The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical, No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo, and Partners in Crime by set it off (just to name some) quite a bit. About the middle of the year I listened to My Time by Bo En (and the version on the Omori Soundtrack), You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring, Starlight Brigade feat. Dan Avidan, and Spider Dance by Toby Fox. These days my writing music is filled with One Ok Rock's Album, Luxury Disease (including Vandalize, Neon, Mad World, and Broken Heart of Gold), Light and L's themes from the Death Note Sountrack, the Taiko Mix Version of R.Y.U.S.E.I, and Enigma by Tart.

So I guess better (shorter) answer? It's all over the place. Generally it has to do with whatever is the main overarching hyperfixation at the time and what songs remind me of my fav characters from it.

ㅤ

28. Oh god this is hard. I think this is the year, more than others, I decided to write things that cater almost 100% to me. I posted to multiple different fandoms and rarely repeated ships, so to be honest I greatly enjoy all of them. I'll have to go with one off the top of my head, so to give a fic other than Neat Freak the spotlight, I'm going to choose Alone Time.

As I said, soriku was one of my first large otps (which I'm sure you can tell if you've seen my fandom imbalanced list of fics). While being an experiment and a venture into something new (for multiple reasons), Alone Time was also a fic that reassured me that I hadn't lost my characterizations from soriku nor my Kingdom Hearts hyperfixation. It was just such a treat writing them again, especially Riku's pov, and I enjoyed just really digging into feelings, getting to write an ace take on a character, all the imagery, and the challenge it brought (what, with the ambiguous genitals and the rewrite of an old scene that needed to be better but also as true to my original take as I could get it). I think I've reread Alone Time a lot this year.

ㅤ

29. Woof now I'm definitely going to have to go back. I know I only posted like 10 fics but god do they all cater to me so hard

Hmmmmmm

Okay so rest assured I chose a sfw passage (only possible exception is a mention of a feeling in the private area? But this section is all feelings). Here's an excerpt towards the end of "Alone Time" that makes me go absolutely crazy

A million thoughts swirl into Riku’s brain, accompanied by a flurry of memories. It’s all fuzzy, all indiscernible, all so much at once, until a second, different heartbeat, begins to pound in his ears with his own, drowning out all the noise.

“You’re my light.” The Soras are one in the same.

As their hearts beat together, in tune, a wave of physical feeling hits Riku like a wave. Phantom touches erupt all over his body, some of which are contradictory in nature. There are two different touches at his lips, two different touches at his privates, sensation where he can feel no one is touching him.

“Like…hah…starlight.” Sora giggles between a few particularly heavy breaths.

Riku was wrong before. He’s neither falling apart at Sora’s touch, nor bursting at the seams. All that makes up the being that is “Riku” is held between Sora’s hands, being stretched and kneaded and molded as Sora wills. Riku lets himself be pulled apart and squeezed back together over and over and over.

“My starlight.”

A new wave of feelings waterfalls down, pouring atop Riku’s head, rushing into his very soul. Despite his inability to think, these feelings he recognizes best. Arousal, awe, embarrassment, smugness, pleasure, joy, and an emotion larger than the rest, one that threatens to wash him away with its sheer volume. It’s love. Sora’s love.

Riku presses his lips against Sora’s, tears pricking the corners of his eyes once more. Feelings upon feelings upon feelings, compounded, overwhelm every sense and stimulate Riku’s body, mind, and heart to its limits. It’s exactly what he’d desired– No. It’s leagues greater, beyond what he’d imagined. It’s nothing like the first time Riku came here, and much better than the last—however long ago that may be now.

Sora trusts him. Sora still trusts him to touch his very heart, to feel everything he feels. It’s a little stupid, he knows, to fear the opposite to be true, but it’s been ages since they’ve gotten to be truly alone together. It’s nice to be reassured, heart to heart, that your husband loves love loves you, so much.

ㅤ

Anyways, thank you for the ask, friend! It's making me so excited getting to talk about all this tbh😊

#ask game #my writing #smartzelda #kingdom hearts #death note

2 notes · View notes

animatedtext · 4 years

Photo

#let me hyperfixate god dammit #blue #wordart #transparent #animatedtext #anon

3K notes · View notes

anthro-bean · 2 years

Text

My own personal headcanon is that plane touched (in this case, specifically aasimar) are almost always neurodivergent. Just a warning this may turn into rambling.

Let me explain.

Celestial/infernal beings are from an entire other plane of existence that are kind of forced to live in black and white. Risen or fallen. Good and evil. They live within these strict bounds and have motivations/take actions that are said to make little sense to people on the material (or is it mortal? ) plane. You could reasonably say the mind of an angel/ devil does not work the same way as a human. It shouldn't.

Where does that leave the inbetween? I've read in guidebooks many people consider aasimar to seem a little "off". Different due to their celestial heritage. I like to think this inbetween status means their minds end up landing somewhere incredibly divergent.

I think it can leave aasimar as really black and white thinkers. Or feelers. I think it can make them the type who can drown in painful levels of empathy or struggle with complete detachment. Maybe they have difficulty just processing life on this plane sometimes and become overstimulated or overwhelmed. Bound to fits of stimming, burnout, or meltdowns (radiant consumption *cough*). They miss cues that'd be almost instinctive to one native to this plane but not to someone from another. Or maybe they pick up on things no one else does. Make too much eye contact or not enough. Hyperfixate. Think in ways no human would or struggle to understand why things are the way they are. They're outsiders. To both humans and celestials.

I like this interpretation mostly because it makes them different but not broken. A lot of people make autism/neurodivergence out to be something pathological whether they mean to or not. Something you can catch from a vaccine. Something you have to overcome. Something that wins over you or you can lose to. It's not. Living in that narrative can trap you in this world of shame, self-hatred, and constant masking. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, I'm just not made in a way that suits the current system. My mind works just fine for me thank you, just not in a way most people find productive/profitable/comfortable for them. Autistics aren't nonfunctional forever children or insensitive logic robots; we're just built different. (And lets be honest usually traumatized.)

Anyway. In my head, aasimar are special little neurodivergent angel children from the Gods. It's a little self-indulgent, but hey if not in your ttrpg ocs then where dammit.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#look at this rant #its 4 am what am i doing #also based on my own experience and opinion so please consider that #neurodivergent #autism #aasimar #dnd #autistic burnout #personal

14 notes · View notes

aceofwhump · 4 years

Text

Guys

The Weeping Monk.

The Weeping Monk has become my new obsession. I love him. I knew I would because seeing all the gifs of him in tumblr is why I watched in the first place I didn't not expect for him to capture my interest so much. It's not the strongest hyperfixation I've ever had but it is one nonetheless and I'm thrilled. Welcome the list of "Ace's Favorite Whumpees"!!

SPOILERS ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously I got ramble and let some spoilers loose so if you want to watch it still and don't want spoilers just keep scrolling

So not only is Daniel Sharman fucking gorgeous but Daniel Sharman looking like this?

With the eyes and the hood and the darkness and the scruff. Oh hell yeah! He's like some omen of death with that cloak. I love it.

So why do I like the Weeping Monk so much?

Well first of all I LOVE A GOOD REDEMPTION STORY!!!!! Like so much! I blame Zuko for that. But if you give me a bad dude who's done some bad shit but also has one hell of a traumatic past then put him on a path of redemption and healing? I’M SOLD! And at the end of the season, The Weeping Monk has been set on his redemption beginnings and I will die if Netflix doesn't give us a season 2 so I can see this boy walk his new path towards redemption and healing. I crave it.

But anyway. This man right here. The emotional angst and whump he exudes is so lovely.

Towards the end of the season we find out that he's Fey and I fucking lost my shit. This boy is a Fey who was raised by the people who hate Fey. His people were killed and he was taken as a child by the same people who murdered them. He was then brainwashed to believe he was demon born and evil and a sinner purely for existing and was taught to punish himself for it (he whips himself in a form of self flagellation!) and I'm sure he was punished for all sorts of things growing up by his "Father". The amount of self hate and self doubt he must feel breaks my heart. He knows he's Fey! He remembers his real name (also that reveal sent me to another plane of existence) so he must have some memories of his family and his people. But he's spent his whole life being used as a weapon against his own people and brainwashed into thinking he was saving them because fey are inherently damned. And that's all he is to the Red Paladins. A weapon. But he sees them as his people, his family because that's all he knows!

This dude is so broken and brainwashed and lost it just breaks my heart.

LOOK AT HIM!! Look at this lost and broken boy!! He just needs some love and affection dammit!! I mean he flat out asks "Do you love me Father?" AHHH!!

And oh my god this conversation between him and Gawain?!

Allow me to share the whole conversation because I need to talk about it.

Gawain: Don’t be afraid Ash Man. I don’t bite. It’s those eyes. The mark of the Ash Fold. There haven’t been any in these lands for centuries. How did you find your way here? Have you just come to watch me die?

The Weeping Monk: Why didn’t you tell them? Before...you could have told them. But you didn’t. Why?

G: Because all Fey are brothers. Even the lost ones

WM: This suffering, it will cleanse you.

G: You parrot these words, but you know it’s all lies. I can feel it in you, my brother.

WM: You are not my brother.

G: They have turned your mind so far inside out...that you don’t know the difference between kindness...and hate. Who did this to you?

WM: We are saving souls. Your soul.

G: Tell that to the little ones that you burn.

WM: I don’t harm the children

G: You burn their homes, you slay their mothers and their fathers, and you watch your Red Brothers run them down on horses. And you see it all through those weeping eyes. That makes you guilty. Brother! You can fight. I’ve never seen anything like it. You could be our greatest warrior. Your people need you.

WM: You are not my people.

G: Then tell them. If this is where you belong, tell them what you are.

WM: I’ll pray for you.

G: And I you.

First of all this conversation is the reason I now ship these two. Just saying. Gawain saw that he was kin, that he was lost, that he was broken and reached out to try and help him even though he is the reason he is being tortured. I can’t with these two! But also, the WM felt guilty about turning him in and worried about his own fate but you can tell that Gawain’s words sink in and set something inside of him and it’s because of Gawain that WM is now on this path of his. AND Gawain! I fully expected him to hate this man after everything hes done but he saw a lost and broken fey brother and tried to help him and I just...Gawain is so good you guys! This whole exchange is just *chefs kiss*. Cause after this the WM saves Squirrel.

Which leads me to Squirrel and the Weeping Monk. The other reason I desperately need season 2 is because I can't wait to see this unexpected pairing. I mean come on, big bag tough guy with trauma becomes unexpectedly joined with a young child? Best trope ever. Plus he got his ass kicked pretty bad and I need season 2 start off with that so I can see Squirrel take care of this injured man. Anyway, these two are going to have a great adventure getting back to the Fey and I NEED TO SEE IT!!! I want to see Squirrel and Lancelot bond and Squirrel defend him against Fey who hate him and for Lancelot to reluctantly become attached and defensive of this Fey boy and AHHHHHH!!

Oh and side note: One of my favorite tropes occurred. Defeated in battle, manhandled to their knees and hood pulled off revealing their bruised and bloody face. God yes please.

Time for some headcanons:

Okay he's totally touch starved am I right? This boy hasn't known a kind touch in his whole life. Pain is all he's known. The Paladins only touch to punish him or wield him. And he thinks he deserves it. He deserves the pain. The punishment. But kindness? A soft touch? Someone tending his injuries gently? He doesnt know what to do it that. He ends up stiffening or flinching away from the blinds hands of the fey, confused at first but slowly he starts to crave that kind touch.

Squirrel is always hugging him. Like whenever he sees him. And WM doesnt know what the fuck to do with that. You think he ever for hugged? I DOUBT IT! So hes all stiff and awkward and kind of bears it but after a while he starts hugging back kind of awkwardly.

Oh and speaking of tending his injuries I can almost guarantee that he has either had to tend to his own injuries in the past or he didn't do anything for them at all. But he's in a Fey camp now and the Fey help each other so when he and squirrel first show up at the camp and a he's taken to a healer and at first he balks and is like "I'm fine" but people like Pym and Squirrel and Gawain (YES GAWAIN! I have thoughts hang on) are like clearly you're not so just sit down before fall down again and let Pym heal you! AND then we get a scene of them all seeing the scars and fresh lashes and being horrified

Okay Gawain. He's not dead and he and Lancelot become best bros (or lovers cause I kind of ship them so much. Forget Nimulot. It's Gawain and Lancelot all the way) and Gawain protects him from the Fey who want to kill him after Squirrel and Lancelot arrive at the makeshift Fey camp and he's taken prisoner. Gawain watches him and see his humanity and goodness and self hate and trauma and Lancelot has someone who sees him as a "brother" as someone lost but not irredeemable and they fall in love okay bye

His powers as one of the Ash Folk. We know he can track. But from what we saw what if he's also got some camouflage or healing abilities hes never explored. NEVER EXPLORED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT A MANIFESTATION OF HIS INNER DEMON!!!

Also, I saw these two onset pics and now I'm ready for this to be s2 WM and Squirrel.

Okay rant over. Sorry. Bye now ✌

#cursed spoilers #cursed netflix #cursed #the weeping monk #daniel sharman #mod post #ace rambles about her favs #new whumpee #new fav #my whumpees

760 notes · View notes

atlantis-scribe · 3 years

Note

Mcshep as Destiel

first thing's first: this ask is evil. cursed. this is the kind of text that even Dr. Daniel Jackson, successor of the great Evelyn 'I-don't-believe-in-cursed-texts' Carnahan-O'Connell, who canonically possesses 0.1% self-preservation instincts, will not touch with a ten-foot pole.

no fandom archivist / enthusiast worth their salt would want to wake up in the morning & immediately sustain massive psychic damage upon seeing a notification like this:

understood? cool.

now that we have those disclaimers out of the way, dear anon, we can play ball.

let me preface my actual response by saying that my experience with Supernatural & Tumblr’s Golden Ship has been unorthodox, at best.

when spn first came out, I was a child, but a child with an indulgent father who cultivated my love for cinema & urban fantasy. we got into Supernatural wayy before Castiel was a thing. we watched it diligently as soon as the newest episode became available in my country. my dad would quiz me on the case’s salient points, and we’d talk about the monster-of-the-week & how it compares to the creatures in our own folklore. Supernatural was, to some extent, educational. heh. (yes, i was very much a minor. yes, my parents were pretty lax on the exposure to blood & gore. I grew up fine, all things considered.)

we stopped our religious following of the show around the time the Leviathan storyline was unfolding. my father & I loved Bobby, and we were also starting to notice a lack of focus in terms of plot & direction. the rest of my exposure then to SPN was courtesy of Tumblr, which I managed to compartmentalize thanks to my other hyperfixations with high fantasy & sci-fi shows.

BASICALLY, what I’m saying is that I know Supernatural like a kid knows their local urban legends. and that, plus my current hyperfixation on All Things Stargate, has been a cause of many a crossover & fusion ideas.

but there’s a reason I’ve been dragging my feet when it comes to actually making content for these plotbunnies (and why I have yet to include spn for my McShep AU series). it’s because the whole thing is bound to be chaotic.

(by the way, dearest anon, what the actual heck made you send me this cursed ask? exactly which blog posts made you go, “ah. this Kit person loves Stargate & McShep, and would absolutely know something about Heller stuff.” WHERE did i go so wrong??)

ACTUAL RESPONSE:

it’s sooo easy to have Rodney as Castiel + Sheppard as Dean. (bitchy, sanctimonious fandom favorite? self-loathing, repressed, & too-pretty-for-his-own-good green-eyed action hero? practically cardboard cut-outs)

but here’s the thing, my lovelies: Kit thinks otherwise (and yes, I just referred to myself in third person. “mentally unstable as a fox“ and all that jazz)

1. Rodney is Dean because while Sheppard’s Daddy Issues are more overt & present in-text, Rodney’s are closer to the Winchester Kind of Daddy Issues (in that there’s pressure-from-beyond-the-grave to carry on with the ‘family business’. in this hypothetical AU, it could be hunting, it could be science, take your pick, but Rodney-as-Dean has taken it upon himself to be the Good Son, and it’s 99.9% because of Dad McKay.)

“This is not what dad would've wanted.”

"Shared credit, huh? We'll do this together? Dad'll be so proud."

- 3x08, McKay & Mrs Miller

2. Rodney & Dean both have a kid sibling who wants out (who wants a normal life outside the family business, dammit.) really no need to elaborate on that. Jeannie is Sammy. I dont make the rules.

3. Rodney & Dean both have that one-track-mind drive to do what they think they do best, their only purpose for existence, to the point that they cannot see anything beyond that One Thing (science, hunting/protecting their younger sibling) because that’s how they were raised. their perceived Only Talent becomes their whole identity, and when that is taken away from them, there’s (at least according to them) virtually nothing left.

4. Sheppard is Castiel because of the gay coding. c’mon.

5. Sheppard is Castiel because grace & ATA gene can be metaphors for each other, and I think that’s pretty cool.

6. Sheppard is Castiel because they’re both Soldiers who rebelled & disobeyed shitty orders because it went against everything they are & have ever believed in. there was a fundamental disconnect between what they’d been asked to do & what makes them them, so they went up against The Man, and said, No.

7. Rodney is Dean because they refuse to believe in a higher power that governs everything they do. they tell the universe what’s what, not the other way around.

8. Rodney is also Dean because the only exception to this is Sheppard & Castiel. if the higher power (God / Ancients) had a hand in the creation of this Being, then maybe it’s good for something, after all.

9. Sheppard is Castiel because they share an inability to say no to this one person they keep having to save over and over again, even when said person’s ideas are shitty and risks everyone & everything in this plane of existence.

10. McShep as Destiel will have Rodney McKay as a stubborn & competent man who embodies everything good and bad about humanity, and whose misguided views on family & masculinity are forever changed when someone who is Definitely A Little More than Human chooses him as their favorite person ever; it’ll have John Sheppard as the Prodigal Son Extraordinaire, who damns himself & all that is holy because he just wants to save his best friend, this flawed human he’s come to treasure beyond reason, from himself.

#this broke my brain sksksks #i actually don't ship destiel #i don't have spn ships im not that kind of girl #but jensen ackles is cute & the idea of the ship is quite compelling #stargate atlantis #mcshep #ask #no i am not tagging spn i dont have a death wish #kit things #meta #ish

49 notes · View notes

therequiemforthelost-archive · 3 years

Note

:) now do evens

Nuisance, noun, a person, thing, or circumstance causing inconvenience or annoyance. "Cherry is a nuisance, but I love her very much and she gives me an excuse to talk about my husband."

2) on what do you disagree with other fans of your f/o?

It's a bunch of little things, but I think the main one is what he's like in private. A lot of people write him as still being quiet and calm when at home, but honestly? I see him as the type where as soon as he's with people he's 100% comfortable with or if he's having fun doing what he's doing, he's going to be one of the loudest and proudest people there, not caring how loud he is or if people are looking. And at home? Same thing. He's in his space where he's comfortable, of course he's gonna be loud and proud and himself wholely.

4) do you feel like you have to defend your f/o all the time?

No, not really! He's very well-liked in the fandom!

6) what are some tropes that fan art of your f/o tends to follow?

Dark colors that are starkly contrasted by neon colors is the main one. Also heehee very tall and lanky--

8) do you even like the source your f/o comes from or do you only watch it for them & nothing else?

Simply put, Pokemon is one of my hyperfixations and has been since I was a child and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I fucking love Pokemon and have been watching hardcore nuzlock let's plays all week.

10) how did you feel when you realized “oh of course i had to like That Character”?

I'm gonna be 100% real with you, I was so fucking surprised. It's not often that characters that align with my music tastes are made (last one I got was Roxie in BW2). So when it was shown that he's actually pretty damn gentle in some instances and does his best to look after his own, I melted. I wasn't even angry. I was actually really happy that I'd have someone who I could listen to my music with and they'd appreciate it just as much as me (especially because I don't look like the type to listen to stuff like Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, etc). Also, what I imagine his aesthetic to be outside of his gym uniform? That's how I used to dress and still dress sometimes (but tbh once I introduced color into my wardrobe I couldn't go back).

12) aren’t you tired of being nice? this is an excuse to rant.

Please for the love of god stop with the constantly trying to shoehorn Piers into a ship because he was asked to take a selfie with a character and that they talked about some exhibition matches they had. The Galar League is a lot like a sports league AND it's POKEMON god dammit of course people are gonna battle and train with each other. Please. And also, I headcanon this man to be demisexual, I won't go too much into it since this is an SFW blog, but people can be on the ace spectrum and enjoy sexual activity. Asexuality is not as black and white as some people make it out to be. I hate it when I find headcanons about him where either he's entirely sex-positive or he's entirely sex-repulsed with no fucking in between. I hate it. I fucking hate it. Like, yeah I may be self-projecting a little when I say he's demi but like, I'm sorry you can't stop me.

#piers is another character whom i can rant about his sexuality for hours #best sis uwu #punk king of spikemuth

6 notes · View notes

botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years

Note

hey, I saw you play a keyboard (amazing compositions btw legit thought they were actual nintendo ngl), when did you start? I'm a noob, so any suggestions on hand independence? How long did it take you? (and yes I know everyone is different but still 👉 👈👉 👈👉 👈👉 👈👉 👈

But also I kinda still don’t know what I’m doing because while it’s nice and all to play the piano, I don’t know SHIT about advanced music theory which is kinda important for making music. Like I know my staccatos and vibratos and tacos and concert band terms, but fucking beats me what you pair an F minor seven chord to. What the fuck is a relative key...A major? More like a major failure amiright

Luckliy I didn’t really make music for a long time so it didn’t really matter...that was until a little game came along in 2015, you may have heard of it, or maybe you haven’t, it’s called Undertale? Yeah kinda a niche game, but anyhow I was pretty hooked on that game and I was like “hey, music tho...do be boppin.” So I learned all the songs, and I followed all the tumblr fandom blogs. And there was this one fancomic that I really liked and I was like “hey......I got a cool little idea” and I sat at my keyboard and fucked around until a thing sounded good. That’s not even me joking or exaggerating. I, a like 13 year old kid, just kinda played some notes together until something sounded decent. And thus was my very first song, which was THIS babam

THIS piece of shit somehow actually got the attention of one of the mods for that Undertale webcomic?? And they were like "hey that's really nice!" and obviously with the benefit of hindsight we all know that was a lie, but I in my eager, powerhungry, 13 year old state accepted the compliment and absorbed it into my ego forever. I spent WEEKS on this piece of shit, I even made shitty trace art...so if some random stranger that ran a tumblr blog/VA twitter said that I did an amazing job, then god fucking dammit I am an amazing composer.

So yeah after that I just kinda....did it. I LIKE TO THINK I IMPROVED FROM THAT PIECE OF CRAP but hey who knows. You just kinda gotta....play those funky little notes, I still haven't taken a music theory class and hey, I'm turning out well enough. *dabs* Hand independance.....can't relate to the struggle, ask 7 year old me and get gud kid. (OK BUT ACTUALLY, are you right handed or left handed? so just play a fancy little melody with one hand, then practice playing it with BOTH hands on different octives. It's easier than just immediately going to a different hand because your brain is wired to like...connect your fingers or something. So then when you can play your little melody with both hands, then switch entirely to the non-dominant hand and practice that till it's perfect. Then babam, you did a thing. And that's under the assumption that your dominant hand is all powerful and can play whatever. Also just....practice. Just gotta practice practice practice. It's chiche, but that's how it works. It's easier to practice if you got a hyperfixation on a certain fandom that is famous for its good music.)

Ok so LONG STORY SHORT. 1) I was four. 2) Get gud and practice. 3) I guess...2015,,minus 2020,,or wait no skip 17 and 18 i didn't do anything that year....like 3-4 years??? Dont let that scare you, I made a total of 4 songs over that period, and most of my actually good shit that I actually took seriously I only made in 2020, so I guess it's really more like 1.5 years. And hell it'll probably be faster if you actually know what goes on with notes, cause again, I just compose based on vibes and feelings, I don't know jackshit on the technical chord shit or whatever. One might note that all my shit lacks complicated chord progressions and instead relies on triplet and arpeggio movements....

Oh ALSO two more things. Forget about melody. Fuck the melody. You want a fancy catch tune? FORGET IT. The only thing that matters is the harmony and background that's it, pour your heart and soul into that first and then you can place whatever bullshit tune you want on top of that and it'll sound 600% better I promise. Then ALSO ALSO, just watch a bunch of youtube videos about people analyzing and gushing and critiquing other music, sepcifically music that your passionate about like maybe video game ost for example. Cause when you enjoy the thingy then you're eventually gonna learn stuff and then do stuff you know? That's why I don't suck as much as I should at composing, and also the similar method for how I learn literally anything else, like writing. Ok long post done.

#brrrrrrrrrrr it's a ramble #long post #do you guys even filter long posts or am i just tagging that as an apology?#its and apology #INCOHERENT #mudkip music #kinda #not botw

16 notes · View notes

luque-moreau · 3 years

Text

y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different.

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd. this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be v e r y enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information.

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #theory #headcanon #razputin aquato #this is real biased #isnt it

35 notes · View notes

kimberlyannharts · 3 years

Text

the second reread of the month for GGPR’s second issue! let’s goooo

- ew forgot this one started on the matt/kim date. i’ll be nice and say that the whole “teenagers on their first date ever and don’t know what to do” is always kinda endearing

- also ayyyy our first reveal that kim is a new girl in the comic continuity! i kinda wish more was actually done with this beyond general assumptions but still, i like it

- anyway enough matt/kim ZACK/KIM ZACK/KIM ZACK/KIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- i love you zack zack i love you come back to me my good son. also this is great set-up for rita eventually choosing him to take the green coin, 10/10

- tfw your sneak mission doesn’t impress your boyfriend the way you thought it would

- remember when i thought this was set-up for ranger slayer being evil on her own. sigh.

- TRINI’S MOM!!!!!! i miss her so much she’s so cute. also i just love the image of her being cool with her little girl beating the shit out of men

- OH GOD THE HETERO TRINI PLOT. honey i’m so sorry you need to fix your gaydar

- OH GOD THE OTHER TERRIBLE HETERO PLOT. “i was VULNERABLE and EMOTIONAL that’s not what GUYS DO i’m so NOT LIKE OTHER GUYS” shut the fuck up i hate your fuckboy ass

- SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HER DON’T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT

- really want to know who thought that this would be seen as an engaging romance when two issues in he’s already saying he dislikes her when things don’t go his way lolllllllllll. perish bitch

- ngl it always bothered me that trini’s martial arts was downplayed to “studying them a little as a kid” when she was so skilled in the tv show. it always feels like they try to sell tommy and jason only as THE SERIOUS FIGHTERS when all of the rangers (minus billy at first obv) were skilled in their own ways

- regardless of that criticism i do really like this scene. it’s the genuine exploration of how kids would feel getting superpowers out of nowhere that really made early GGPR stand out and it’s a shame we don’t see anything with this much depth once we got to the s2 era

- HOWEVER i legit cannot stand seeing trini being so gaga over shirtless jason like hhhhh i just hate that both girls’ most prevailing plots were related to heterosexual romance. especially considering it’s just. not reciprocated on jason’s side at all dkfjkd it’s just uncomfortable

- thank god some proper gay/bisexual solidarity. billy/zack is such an underrated dynamic look how cute they are!!!!! unfortunately billy was so hyperfixated on his work he hasn’t eaten or drank in ten hours. i can relate.

- the light of my life my cinnamon apple my rose

- BILLY BEING THE ONLY ONE TO SAY HELLO TO HER HE IS SO CUTE MY BFF DUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- forever sick and disappointed we never got any sort of follow-up or resolution for this. like yeah obviously they became friends. BUT HOW. I WANT THE START OF FRIENDSHIP DAMMIT

- THE STAR OF THE SHOW!!!!! PUTTY IMPERSONATOR!!!!!!! thank god it’s been two issues and i’m already tired of matt. thank you for putting us out of our misery

#mmpr comic #text #comic recap #GGPR 2

8 notes · View notes

astralshipper · 3 years

Text

I got sappy. wanted to write about what the show means to me. trigger warning for depression, bullying, all the rough stuff that goes along with that. also trigger warning for this being long as all hell. I had a lot to say about this dumb ass show. please feel free to ignore this, it was mainly for me to get my thoughts out.

Supernatural was there for me through… everything. I remember watching the pilot episode really vividly, though the date is fuzzy. I say it was 2012 at the time, but my mom insists it had to have been earlier than that, so I’m not entirely sure. The years really ran together back then. I wasn’t in the best place. In fact, I was in the lowest place I’ve ever been. The past few years of abusive friendships ended up finally getting me worn down, and I was in the biggest depressive slump I’ve ever felt. I thought I was weak, useless, selfish for feeling like that. I didn’t see any reason to go on, if I was just gonna be like that.

I had two people irl at the time that I considered my actual friends, as opposed to just the people that hung around me and made me feel pretty shitty. These two friends had started talking about this show they started watching. Supernatural, they kept telling me, it was the best show ever. They said I’d totally fall for Dean, and if not, then to wait for Castiel to show up. So I told my mom about it.

My mom watched the pilot episode while I was at school one day. When I got home that evening she agreed, I would love Dean, but I would be terrified of the show. So, being the dumbass I am, I trudged upstairs to do my homework for the next 7-8 hours, finishing around 1:30 in the morning. Perfect time for a wimpy little kid that’s scared of her own shadow to watch a new supposedly scary show, right? So I did. Dean didn’t even have a chance to show up before I was smitten with Sam, which makes me sound totally like becky, but let’s just skip over that and pretend that doesn’t sound familiar lmao

My mom and I got into a routine of watching the show in our free time. I would get home from school, drag her off, and we would binge a few episodes before dinner, so long as I could get my work done on time. So I started to, slowly but surely. Because Sam and Dean were waiting for me.

I wish I could say it was a quick fix for all my issues, but that’s not,,, how life works, you know? I was still getting pushed around, I was still that lanky kid that played minecraft and couldn’t maintain eye contact, and carried around a new book every week. I was still the kid with tourettes that twitched and jerked and made funky noises throughout class. And middle school kids are damn mean. It wasn’t a cure for my depression, or my ADHD, or my anxiety, or anything like that. But it was a start. Sometimes I would text or call my mom from the school bathroom, sobbing and begging her to let me come home early. I did this a lot. Finally, she had a response. Stay there for Sam and Dean (and later on Cas, too), she would say, and we can watch an extra episode tonight to celebrate. She told me they were waiting for me back home, and that they were proud of me and that they believed that I could get through it. And how was I supposed to say no to Sam, Dean, and Castiel? So I would clean myself up, head back to class, and do what I could to get through the day, knowing that Team Free Will believed in me.

When I first started this show, that dark place I was in led me to doing a lot of stuff that hurt me in the long run. One of those things was pushing away my family as much as I possibly could. My family has always been really close. Hell, I’d do anything for them, I always would have. But during that time, I didn’t want to be a liability. I thought they would all be better off without me constantly in their lives. So I stayed as far from them as I could. Until Supernatural came along, and things changed. This show gave me a means of talking to my mom and becoming closer with her. It gave me the ability to cry with her, laugh with her, talk about things with her. It gave me my mom back, and in the end, gave me my family back. I finally trusted someone close to me again, someone that could help really make a difference.

Jared Padalecki plays Sam Winchester, right? Well, a bit of time after I started following the show, he became very open about his own mental health struggles. He spoke up about his depression, and how it made him feel, and how he was working towards getting help and recovering. And all of a sudden, I could start to believe that maybe… my depression didn’t make me as weak as I thought it did. I mean, if Sam fucking Winchester himself can have depression and feel this way, if Jared Padalecki, a man that’s brought so much joy to so many people and has helped so many people through rough times, if he can feel like that too, then maybe I’m not weak. Maybe it makes me strong, the fact that I’m still here. Maybe it’s not selfish to ask for help. Maybe it doesn’t make me weak to need help from someone. I talked to my mom about getting put on some new medication. We started thinking about therapy options. I was finally open to maybe getting some help. And I was willing to start a journey towards not feeling like my mental health made me weaker, but stronger. Always keep fighting, he would say. That was the goal. So I did.

After I got my cap and gown for high school graduation, I broke down as soon as I was alone. That hadn’t been in the plan. Graduation was never an option. My plans never reached this far, because in my mind, I wouldn’t still be there to see it. I never expected myself to walk across a stage to get a high school diploma. I never expected myself to shake hands with my principal and have her tell me she’s proud of me. I never expected myself to make it. But I… did. And I know, I knew, that I owed a lot of that to Sam, Dean, and Castiel. I might not have gotten there without them, and everything they brought to me over the years.

Life isn’t perfect. I’ve continued to hit my depressive slumps every once in a while. I have good days, bad days, and worse days. But every time things get hard, every time I just want to give up, this one damn show has been there. These characters have been there, and I know they would want me to fight. So I keep fighting, as long as I can. I know it’s not cool to like Supernatural. I know it’s cringy. I know it’s problematic. I know and I acknowledge that a lot of things that have happened on the show aren’t handled properly or are insensitive. I’m always going to be critical of the media I consume, but god dammit, that doesn’t diminish everything this show has done for me. Along this road, it stopped being a show, and it started being an anchor. They stopped being characters and started being reasons to keep trudging on. And seeing it go, it’s a really, really difficult goodbye. I’m not just watching a show go off the air, it’s saying goodbye to one of the biggest supports I’ve ever had.

I don’t love Sam just because I think he’s cute. I don’t have a soft spot for Dean just because I think he’s funny. I don’t care so deeply for Castiel just because I think he’s a quirky dude. They’ve all been there for me when it felt like no one else could ever care about me. I love them, and I always will. I might not always hyperfixate on the show, but I can assure you, these guys are always going to hold a special place in my heart. They’re my heroes, they saved my life, and they did it universes apart from me. They’re a big part of who I am and who I want to be. And I wish I could thank them for that.

#astras dumb shit #astras bad brain #this is depressing as SHIT im so sorry omfg.#head hurty heart hurty just want to give tfw hugs #i feel like all of this sounds so ridiculous but like. ksjdfhjg idk this show means. a whole lot #supernaturally soulmates #hunter in-laws #ethereal family

9 notes · View notes