#let me tell you I wasn't even like lucid when writing this

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book.... #coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book” #i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

[vixenvoider]

I ENTERED THE VOID STATE

in this post i will explain in depth how i entered the void state and what i manifested. i will be open to questions but if you ask something that i explain in this post i won't answer it just fyi, so even though this will be long, if you are truly curious i encourage you to read the whole thing. i am sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes that might be present.

overall story: i have been trying to enter the void for around 2 months now, and finally entered through a lucid dream. one thing i want to note before i tell my story is that i have been lucid dreaming my whole life (so if you never have, i don't know what good steps are for beginners).

the beginning: my journey started when i inadvertently came across a post about how someone else entered the void state and manifested their dream body and face. i was not into manifesting before, in fact, i actually had a problem with the whole concept of the law of attraction and didn't know there were other types of manifestation and never looked deeply into it. that being said, i have always been an open-minded person and also, a more or less spiritual person. i believe in a lot of "out there" things because a lot of said things have been proven to me (through experiences i find hard to explain so i'm not going to). i'm sharing this to let you know that due how deeply i naturally believe in such things i never really had a problem with my void concept, even though i experienced doubts (so for this area i really can't give much advice).

so after learning about the existence of the void state i searched "void state" on tumblr and skimmed some info here and there on it, what i came across included some basic methods on how to enter the void but i didn't fully understand them yet. that same night i followed a shifting guided meditation but i couldn't really get "into" it, i was a naturally anxious person who found it hard to relax so it just wasn't working, but i did see it through and try my best and i think in the long run it helped me. in the guided meditation i listened to, the person makes you walk through a door to get to your desired reality and even though the meditation didn't work, that imagery worked it's way into my subconscious and i had a lucid dream that night. i did not manifest anything that night but it was on purpose (i think). in my lucid dream i woke up in my bedroom. i looked in the mirror and decided i would change what i saw to a more desired appearance and it worked (i looked exactly like the person i was thinking of), then, i decided (with intention) to open my bedroom door and enter my dream house and it worked. at this point in the dream i thought that entering the void must be super easy since i was already basically close and could have done it there if i wanted to BUT i chose to wake up because i wanted to enter the void when i actually knew for sure what i wanted my manifestations to be. i knew i was going to want a lot if i really thought about it and i also didn't want to actually look like someone else (my whole lucid dream i was more trying to test my imagination and build my confidence). the next day i started making a void state list and writing down everything i genuinely wanted for myself.

experiencing doubts: things started to go wrong after that hahah, after my first beginner's luck(?) experience i was struggling to lucid dream (even though i've always naturally been a lucid dreamer, the times it occurs is still random and i couldn't make them happen) and meditations were only getting me so close. all in all, over the past 2 months i had 5 failed lucid dreams and several close, but failed, meditation attempts. this instilled some doubts in me, especially the lucid dreams, because apparently once you lucid dream it's meant to be quite simple but when i would affirm for the void in my dreams i would just wake up or the dream would continue.

another thing that caused me to doubt the void was questioning some of the stories on here. most of them i initially don't believe anyway because it's known there's many liars in the community and there seems to be a trend of people posting void success stories in an attempt to enter to the void (to act as if it already happened) but they technically haven't in reality yet. that being said, i did have some blogs i mostly trusted and then one day one of the blogs i trusted answered an anonymous ask about a success story and it really looked like they sent it to themselves. the reason i thought this was because the op of the blog spells a commonly used word wrong all the time but it's not a spelling mistake people commonly make (in fact, i know no one who makes this spelling mistake) but then the anon that sent them the success story made the exact same spelling mistake. it made me worry that perhaps there were no true success stories because why was this person who supposedly mastered the void bothering with sending asks to themselves to validate their blog? i mean this was all speculation but it still caused me to think.

that being said again, i still basically believed, i just wavered a little, but i definitely believed enough to keep persisting (because why not?)

the success: finally, after almost 2 months i entered the void through a lucid dream. when i realised i was dreaming i tried to make myself stay super grounded in the dream but i also thought about not taking too long since i didn't want to wake up. i did this because i realised the very first night when i had my lucid dream, i didn't get excited and try immediately, i hung around in my dream for a while and just enjoyed things (as i explained). so i wandered around the dream a bit and just looked at things, touched things, tried to feel the temperature and take note of it and then when i felt calm and not too excited i closed my eyes and affirmed for the void and entered. when i got the void i just said "i have everything on my void list" (a few times to make sure) and then stated i was exiting the void state. the void feels how pretty much everyone describes, you just know it's happening and you are pure consciousness.

what i manifested: my void state list ended up being super long and i manifested a lot of personal things that i won't share, which is what i'm sure would be the same for most people, but i'll include a list of things that others might find interesting or encouraging:

desired appearance (including body, face, height etc)

money (i came up with a plan that of how it would make sense in my country to have acquired it)

got rid of my anxiety disorder (having this was probably the most debilitating part of my life, it's also why i know meditation never truly worked for me since i could never relax and it's crazy to feel not severely stressed constantly for the first time in my life)

got rid of my autoimmune disease and fixed my eyesight (i manifested being healthy overall in general)

feel comfortable instantly, i will no longer get too itchy, feel dirty after a long day, be too hot or too cold etc. (can't really attest to this one yet but i have felt no discomfort)

dream living space and whatever bed i sleep in to always be super comfortable

opinion on the void state: overall the point is that the void state is real and you can get anything you want, getting to the void is also easy but it's just about trying to go for it and not getting discouraged. i don't want to share too much of my opinion on this because i actually find it really toxic. some people will get mad if you say you "entered" or "got to" the void because you technically are always the void, and personally, i don't find these slight changes in language to be important unless you are very sensitive to it. for me, it doesn't matter if i think about the void as something i enter or something i am because i believe it exists and that's all i need to know at the end of the day. if you want to see it as something you are, or a state or anything else, i don't think it matters as long as you believe manifestation is possible, you are the creator of your reality, you get to decide what language or thought process works for you :)

common questions: i'm going to answer some question i feel like i will get if people find this post so i'm just going to answer them here. remember that these answers are just my opinion.

question: how come people don't manifest to end world hunger, for everyone to have money, to become the next "big thing", to be a real life superhero, for everyone to be happy etc. truthfully, i think people do manifest that but i don't think they stay in this reality. a lot of people think that using the void at all means you shift your reality, idk if i believe in that, but i would have to assume the people that use the void to manifest very extreme things ultimately have to shift realities. so this would mean the reason you're not seeing these results is because these people are no longer in this reality. if you pay attention i think you will also notice that most void success stories that seem to come from reliable sources (though this is still all personal judgement) seem to be rather humble, these people just manifest to be the prettier version of themselves, to live in a nice place, to be around good people and other similar things. i think people with mostly humble desires stay in this reality and people with more fantastical desires (to be the most famous person ever, to be a multibillionaire, world peace) go elsewhere.

question: why would someone even have humble desires? i can't speak for every single person but i think it's just the desire to stick to the familiar. we want better lives but also want to feel at "home" still, i wanted to still feel like ME. maybe it seems stupid and selfish but if we really are shifting realities every time then there really is no way to actually solve world hunger anyway, it will always exist in this reality even if you or i personally go to another one. at the end of the day, life isn't fair and i am just grateful to have discovered the void to live happily and am sharing this so you can too.

question: i'm worried about the wrong people finding out about the void state. honestly, me too! but i think this falls in line with my past two answers, if someone terrible happened to stumble upon this post and entered the void, i don't think they'd stay here, they will go to some other reality more likely, so i really don't think we have to worry about someone super evil getting to the void and doing something super heinous or whatever. but honestly i do understand the worry. at first when i discovered the void i thought i wouldn't share my success story once i entered because i wanted to keep the void as quiet as possible. but just remember two things: most people do not know about the void and if they do a lot of them will give up and not persist. second, someone really evil finding it will probably leave this reality (my theory).

question: why do people not show better proof. truthfully, i don't know, for me it's because i really do want to live a private life and a lot of stuff i manifested can't be proven anyway. if i show my bank account, it could be photoshop, if i show my new face it means nothing because i revised to always look this way, i can't prove i no longer have my autoimmune disease and the list goes on. i think people with more dramatic proof also want to maintain their privacy or go to other realities. perhaps there's even been people to show dramatic proof in this reality but they had to revise that they didn't because it was a mistake.

question: do you have any overall tips? just keep persisting. and personally, i think it's okay to try several methods at once. i know some people say if you try several then it "cancels out" like, if you try lucid dreaming and it doesn't work so you meditate it means you don't "believe" lucid dreaming can work for you so then that's why it takes you so long but i think you can just tell yourself "every method works for me so i will just keep persisting". another thing i recommend trying for a few days is setting your alarm to go off at different times so day 1 is 8am, day 2 is 7am, day 3 is 9am and so forth. each day set the intention to wake up BEFORE your alarm goes off, once you successfully start waking up a few minutes before your alarm everyday this is your tangible proof that your intentions are working. this isn't really a method but more so a confidence booster that worked for me to remind myself i'm in control and powerful. if you also try this i think after a few days you will feel more confident intending to lucid dream, for your meditations to work, for subliminals to work (whatever is your personal vibe) and you will get there easier hopefully!

question: did you ever do any official lucid dreaming methods. personally the only way i ever had a lucid dream was by intending before sleeping that i would lucid dream. but methods where you wake up by setting your alarm early and going back to sleep and stuff didn't work for me. i tried but due to my anxiety i would always wake up super alert or even stressed, so i could never relax enough. but they are successful for many people so there is no harm in trying.

#void state #void success #void success story #loa #law of assumption

[charmedreincarnation]

Success story (not the void)

Maya, as I promised you, I'm writing you my success story. It's quite a wild one, so please bear with me.

My journey started during the Angel era, when I was struggling with the void state. I tried everything I could think of to get out of it - every method, every meditation technique, affirming, intention, lucid dreaming, and even coaching from various LoA experts, including those not so well-known. I was desperate for a breakthrough, a key to unlock the life I deserved. I would have done anything, even ate dirt if that was what it took.

At that time, my family was going through a rough patch. My abusive father, a police officer, divorced my mother and left us with nothing. We were homeless, living out of our car, while my dad was living a comfortable life. He had a new girlfriend, a younger woman, and continued to be respected in his job. Meanwhile, my mom, who was a victim of his abuse, was labeled a liar and lost everything. I was filled with rage, towards him, towards the world, towards the jury that declared him innocent. I wasn’t safe in this world especially being homeless, women and children are the most vulnerable to sexual and physical assault. I was scared, unsafe, and had nothing aside my mother and siblings.

I wanted to enter the void, not just for myself, but to give my family a better life and to bring justice to those who had wronged us. I was at a point where I was harming myself, but I couldn't give up because my family needed me. I remember messaging you, Maya, pouring out my story, begging you to help me enter the void. Despite your initial hesitation, you responded with kindness, sharing some personal experiences, and reassuring me that I wasn't alone.

Your words gave me hope. You made me realize that many people who find the law have gone through, or are still going through difficulties. If they could overcome their struggles, so could I.

So, I decided to let go of the void. Not because I didn't believe in it, but because I had elevated it to a status akin to a genie that would magically solve all my problems. When non-dualism and other loa concepts were introduced, everything finally clicked. I realized I didn't have to be angry, or try to be someone manifesting master, or do all these fake methods. I have always known that my family and I were meant to be happy.

For a month, I went through a process of shedding my ego. It was uncomfortable, and there were times I found myself fighting my own thoughts, telling them to shut up. I was separating my ego from myself. You, Maya, had once said that this process was similar to withdrawal symptoms of someone quitting drugs. This thought comforted me. I was becoming someone new, my old thoughts weren't there anymore.

Living in my car, I began to see it as my mansion. My mom's crying turned into laughter, my siblings' whine for food turned into jokes. We pretended that we were living our dream life, and after a while, my siblings joined me in this game. We would come "home" from school and yell at each other, pretending that the house was so big that we needed walkie-talkies to communicate.whenever I needed to steal food it was because we owned the place and can take whatever we want, not because I had to.

One day, we parked at a field, and I started imagining my life. I tried to become the clouds by thinking I am and accepting that my consciousness could be whatever it wanted. I got my siblings to do the same. We became the flowers, then the sun, then the stars at night. Even though physically I was still in the car, mentally and emotionally, I was living my dream life.

When I woke up, I was in a large room. It was decorated to perfection. I heard my siblings running around, throwing toys, and my mother laughing with a man, who's laugh alone sounded like gold. I explored the house, and it was beautiful. There was no yelling, no violence, only laughter and love. My mom introduced me to her boyfriend, and he was holding a newspaper that read that my father had been arrested for domestic crimes and fraud. He was losing everything.

At that moment, I realized that I had done it. My mom was happy, beautiful, and loved. My siblings had plenty of toys and clothes, and our house was filled with love. My family and I were finally living our dream life.

I have been living my life for about a month and now, and it has been blissful to say the least. I go to a well known private school and I am the top student. I am apart of many clubs, and also spend a lot of time volunteering at domestic shelters, and speaking to victims of intrapersonal abuse. I have made friends of people who volunteer with me, so it’s nice to have people who care about the same thing I do.

I am also apart of my writing club, and found comfort in reading and writing and have decided I want to be an author once I graduate. I have always wanted to be a writer but they don’t make enough money often. But now not only do I know I will be successful but my family has enough money to last us multiple generations plus some more. My Bio father had gotten much to what is coming to him and he will be going to jail. I hope he drops the soap but I have let go of my anger with that barbaric fool. So has my mother who has also recently gotten engaged and I get to be her maid of honor. She has a friend group of mothers from school and I have never seen her happier. My now father treats her like a goddess and treats everyone like that. He spoils my mom and us with gifts and luxurious trips. He also spoils the help such as the maids and cooks and never treats them below us. He does not expect anything from my mother except for her to be happy and spend time with us. He is kind selfless loving and respectful. the real definition of a man. I adore him so much and I’m so happy to call him my father.

I find great joy in the little stuff. I love cleaning my room. My bio dad was a hoarder and the house was always a mess because my mom was the sole provider though my “bio dad” made much more. He instead used it on hookers, alcohol, and drugs. Pathetic excuse for a man I know. I love going shopping, as I don’t have to look at the price tag. It feels normal, there was no shift. This is just life constantly changing. I have 5 pets and spend great time with all of them, and they are all so loving and adore me. I love school, and doing my homework, taking tests, assemblies etc. i love talking to my teacher about my ideas and how I can improve. They’re always so encouraging and kind, and I have never experienced that. I also loveeeee having crushes hehe. I never had time nor the “looks” for that prior to these past few months, but I receive a good amount of attention from a lot of sweet man and the “what if” aspect of having crushes is fun. I just love being a teenage girl, something I was not always able to say. I love the world and the people in it, the creations I bring and make, and all I did to make it what it is. I never worry what happened to my old self or life. It died, it doesn’t exist I am here right now with them and the old story is gone. Like an author erasing a part of a story she doesn’t like and never producing it, I did the same. My one true reality and I am so blessed.

Also big thanks to bloggers like @awarenessis @starbursts777 @consciousnessbaddie for introducing this concepts to Tumblr in a simple and kind way. Love to everyone in this devoted app.

Congratulations on your astounding success story 🥹 Your journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit, and it's an honor to hear about your transformation. This is beautiful wild tale, but it's your reality, and it's absolutely beautiful.

Your story is a powerful reminder that we have the power to shape our reality, no matter how dire our circumstances may be. It's a testament to the power of belief, determination, and the human spirit. I'm incredibly proud of you and wish you and your family all the happiness in the world.

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

[spiderluvbot]

𝗠𝗜𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧   ─── ​🇪​​🇹​​🇭​​🇦​​🇳​ ​🇱​​🇦​​🇳​​🇩​​🇷​​🇾​.

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, smut.

pairing(s): spiderman!ethan landry x fem!reader.

words: 2.2k

warnings: mdni, unprotected p in v (don't do that), cockwarming, mentions of blood, descriptive wounds.

author's note: based on this request.

it took me a long time to post this since it's the first smut i write and i have no idea if it's good or not but it tried my best, i surprisingly like the first part. i have a sort of prequel in mind so if anyone would like that let me know.

You could still remember the first time you helped Ethan, you had just come back from work when you got welcomed by the sight of your window broken and a trail of blood going down the wall. At the time you hadn't known it was him and expected the worst, after all, new york wasn't the safest of places. That day not only had you given your favorite superhero a concussion, you had also found out he happened to be the boy Tara had been trying to set you up with.

There wasn't much you could do at the time considering that he was passed out and you only had some rubbing alcohol and like three band-aids, but in his moments of lucidness he wouldn't let you take him to a hospital, so you made do with what you had and proceeded to buy a first aid kit the day after, just in case. By the third month of your relationship this had become usual, you spent many nights convincing your boyfriend to come to you so he wouldn't die of blood loss on someone's rooftop (or infect his wounds due to not properly taking care of them). You had even taken a course, making your friends confused as to why you were suddenly worried about knowing everything there was to know about nursing.

Now, a year after finding out his secret, it had become almost a ritual for him to visit you after a night of patrolling. Your window stayed open like every other night, the cool spring breeze coming through as you waited for him and tried not to think about the fact that he was two hours late. Your eyes kept glancing from your homework to the time displayed on your computer screen and you wondered if your little tradition would be broken today.

Dropping your pencil, you sigh and grab your phone. The leg you were mindlessly dangling seconds ago now bouncing rapidly while you questioned if you should call him, finally deciding against it because you know he won't pick up if he's patrolling, that he never takes his phone with him.

Looking outside only makes you more anxious, the sky is too dark and the lights do little to no help in illuminating the streets. Your hand stretches towards the bed and you grab his jacket —the one he complains you keep stealing but always happens to 'forget' in your house— and put it on while you make your way to the fire escape.

The sight isn't much better once you're out, if you look down you can see that the street is almost empty, only a few people wandering about.

It feels like another hour passes with you waiting for him and your fear of what could have happened gets bigger and bigger by the minute, until you feel like it will eat you from the inside.

But no sign of Ethan.

You hear the sound first, and despite your eyes getting teary you tell yourself that it could be anything, anyone, else. A few police cars appear from around the corner, followed closely by two ambulances. The loud sirens make your head pound, and the lights are blurry through your tears. It feels like a bad dream, like one of those nightmares where you're falling and wake up before you hit the ground but the impact still follows you, or like those moments when you miss a step and those few seconds of uncertainty create a void deep in you guts that swallows you hole.

Your steps resonate as you make your way back inside and pick up your phone once again and dial his number, hoping that this time he decided to listen to you and carry his phone with him, or that he picks up and tells you he forgot to visit you because he was too tired and went back home, or that at least Chad is there to tell you if he knows anything.

"You need to start locking your windows." His voice sounds different, less laid back than usual, and the brief calmness that it brings to you immediately dissipates once you turn around.

There are three large gashes on his right shoulder and another one on his chest, you can see the skin on his side turning a purplish black from where a part of his suit has been ripped off and the smell of smoke and something acrid reaches your nose the second the wind picks up again. His face isn't much better, he has a busted lip, one of his cheekbones has a deep cut and the other looks even worse than his side, there's blood staining his hair and you're pretty sure his nose is broken.

He limps to the bed and you silently enter the bathroom to get the supplies you need to help him. At this point, you don't ask what happened, you know if you do you won't get more than a 'you don't wanna know'. He keeps telling you that the less you know the safer you are, and even if you don't agree you don't say anything, the way he doesn't say anything and allows you to take care of him when he would rather go home and not keep you awake at three am every time he's hurt.

Ethan is trying to take the suit off when you come back, the fabric peels off of his body like a second skin and leaves behind dirt and blood. With the top half gone you can see the smell from before came from a burned patch of his back.

The routine follows as usual. He sits against the headboard, firm hands on your hips pull you onto his lap and you asses the damage, soft hands grazing him as lightly as the wind does and stopping once in a while to push his hair out of his face. And then, you get to work.

You take care of the bigger wounds first, thankfully he has already started healing so there is no need to stitch him. You check for broken ribs and after making sure they healed completely you move on to his face. He doesn't let you do much, you disinfect the cuts just like you always do and in the meantime, he dries your tears and sneaks a few kisses from you.

Getting up, you take his hand and pull him back to the bathroom, he takes his time cleaning himself while you get rid of the dirty cotton swabs laying around and change the sheets, and then when he gets out you both get into some clean pajamas before you make him sit again so you can put some pain reliever on his back.

He looks pensive, his eyes focused on the calm back and forth of the curtains as his back tenses at the cold wet feeling against his skin.

"You really do need to start locking your windows."

"Oh, but then I wouldn't get any special visits from my favorite superhero."

Your voices are quiet, only heard in the tiny bubble of the space you share as you try to lighten the mood.

"I'm your favorite?" He grins, starting to feel the stress of the night leave him. "You know, you don't have to do this, it'll heal in the morning."

"I know," You step in between his legs and start applying the cream to his side, which is already turning a mix between yellow and green. "But I like to help."

You turn the lights off once you're done and join him in the bed where both of you get ready to sleep. He pulls you to his chest and your eyes focus on the scar already starting to form there, his deep breaths lulling you to sleep as your finger traces small hearts around it.

You're almost asleep when the sensation of cold fingers caressing your waist sends shivers running down your spine, almost feeling like a ghost touch in your tired state. Your heavy eyelids stop you from properly looking at the hand, but you can feel it rising, slowly making its way under your top. Your lips start leaving a few lazy kisses on his jaw as he turns to lie on top of you and gets comfortable between your legs, his body weighing you down and his lips chasing yours, only separating for him to take your shirt off.

His hands grope your chest as he makes his way down, the contrast between the cold wind and the warmth of his mouth wrapping around your nipple sends shivers down your spine as his fingers pinch the other one. You can feel him getting hard against your inner thigh, his hips starting to move while his free hand toys with the elastic of your pants, teasing until your desperate hips lift from the bed to meet his and the sighs leaving you turn into whimpers.

"I've never been more grateful for super healing" You roll your eyes and let out a small giggle as he smiles before crashing his lips against yours, his mouth catching the moan that leaves you when his hand goes past your pants. His fingers tease your folds, caressing through the wet fabric of your underwear while he mouths at your throat, sucking and grazing before the flat of his tongue soothes the sensitive skin. Your knuckles turn white as you grasp the sheets and press yourself harder to him in a poor attempt to gain more friction.

Ethan decides to have mercy on you and quickly removes the rest of your clothes, his own following immediately after. Your hands push on his chest, forcing the two of you to switch places, and his fingers dig into your waist forcing you to grind your core against him.

His big brown eyes are hazed with lust, barely making you out through the dark and only focusing once you hold his face in your hands and offer him a sweet smile, catching the way you seem to shine with the moonlight. You lean down and kiss him hard, teeth clashing until you bite his lip and he welcomes your tongue as it explores his mouth.

Your hand travels down his chest and you can feel him shudder as you stroke him, his hips twitching forward once run your thumb over his tip. He stops your hand from moving, groaning as he sits and pulls you closer, guiding himself to enter you. The burn of the stretch makes you moan against his ear and his arms surround you as he waits for you to get used to him and presses open-mouthed kisses on your throat to distract you.

Slowly, you start grinding your hips against him, and the light vibration of his hums against your skin makes you clench his length. Your arms loop around his neck, the side of your head pressing to the top of his own, your hands caressing his hair while he continues to leave marks on your neck.

It's not long before his grip gets stronger, nails digging into you as he quickens the pace of your hips rolling against his, thrusting upwards and bitting down your shoulder in a poor attempt to quiet the desperate groans leaving his mouth. Your head falls back as a high-pitched gasp leaves your mouth at the feeling of his thumb circling your clit at a fast pace, the knot in your stomach getting tighter by the second.

Ethan looks up at you and the moonlight allows you to see how his dilated warm brow eyes stare timidly at you, always worried and shy, no matter how many times the two of you have been together. He tries not to close his eyes as he becomes a whimpering mess underneath you, pulling you closer to him until he can press his forehead against yours, a loud moan getting lost in the space in between as he finally comes.

You can feel him twitch inside of you, the warmth of his cum mixed with his thumb pressing harder finally pushing you over the edge. He softly rolls your hips as you ride out your orgasms, his ragged breaths mixing with your own as he shuts his eyes, chest heaving as he places the pillows against the headboard and lies down. You stop him from pulling out and lazily lay down on his chest, leaving small kisses wherever you can reach.

His hands travel back and forth through your back, stopping once in a while to comb his fingers through your hair. He leaves soft kisses on the crown of your head, smiling at how you try to muffle your laughs by pressing your face to his chest.

"I love you."

The slight sliver of sunshine creates a small halo around your head as you lift yourself to look at him and your small, tender hands hold his jaw while your fingers roam his face, grazing the places where hours ago cuts and bruises faced you.

You give him a small, tired smile and lean down, planting a kiss on his lips. "I love you too."

The two of you spend the rest of the morning in bed, watching the sun rise as you whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears, and then falling asleep as the rest of the city wakes up.

#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x fem!reader #ethan landry x you #spiderman!ethan landry #ethan landry #scream 6 #scream vi #spiderman au #💌 #ethan.txt

[stinalotte]

Season 5, Episode 6: The Shrine

I said I had to gather my thoughts before I would be able to write something coherent. I still don't know if I can do it justice. It's weird, but I hesitate to call The Shrine my favorite episode because it's so devastating. It's very shippy, it has phenomenal acting from everyone, the story is heartbreaking, it should be perfect - but it just hurts so much. If this is my favorite episode, what kind of masochist am I? (Don't answer that, that was rethorical.)

I'm placing this under a cut because this is gonna be long.

The cold open on this one is just brutal. Rodney is already pretty far gone, and he calls himself "Mr Rodney McKay" instead of Dr, because "doctors are smart, and he's not smart anymore". To know what's happening to you, to slowly lose your mental capabilities and to be able to still process what's happening, that's cruel. And then he's calling for John, and that's when I had to pause the video for the first time because the tears were already coming. The title sequence hadn't even started.

Fuck.

I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's a couple years ago. She had a slow and steady decline and thankfully, it was one of those cases where she just forgot more and more, but without the mental anguish. She wasn't panicking, or aggressive, or even agitated. Just a smiling, sweet old lady, who in the end didn't remember how to sit or eat or breathe. When she died, I couldn't cry. I was too busy consoling my mother and aunt at the funeral. The first time I cried was when I rewatched The Shrine, years later. It just shook something loose in me. It's also the point where I decided that if I ever got diagnosed, and was still in a state to do something about it, I would end my life on my terms. I'm not putting anyone through that.

I remember Kate Hewlett saying in an interview that a lot of people on set where crying during those scenes because they had family members with dementia, and that she had to leave the room at one point because it hit close to home for her too.

At first I thought it was mean that everyone was like, "Yeah I realized something was wrong when Rodney was being nice to everyone", but then I thought, no, that's actually a good point. Because his friends were uncomfortable with alternate universe Rod (who was too suave and cool) and they're uncomfortable with a Rodney who is uncharacteristically nice. They love him as he is, not a polished version.

I know everyone is giving Dr Keller shit for not wanting to try the Shrine, but I really think it's because she's a doctor. I work with doctors, and almost weekly I have discussions about respecting a patient's advanced directive. I've had a doctor wanting to install a gastric tube in a patient who was at the end of their life. We had the advanced directive that CLEARLY stated they didn't want that. When I confronted the doctor, she was almost angry. "But they will starve! I can't let them starve!" Yes, you can, and you will, and you have to. The hardest thing for a medical doctor is to have to sit back and not be allowed to do something that might help the patient. I think that where she's coming from. There are treatments to be tried, and if Rodney is taken to the Shrine, all those other options stop. I still think she was wrong and I don't like her approach, but I think it's an explanation why she was acting the way she was.

And then we have Rodney running to John's room in the middle of the night because of course that is the first and only place he'd go. It hurt to watch him be so frantic and desperate. And John is right there for him, grounding him, telling him, I'm not going anywhere.

Beer On The Pier. Yes, you have to write it like that because this scene is a fixed point in time and a goddamn cornerstone of this ship.

Rodney, knowing this is probably the last night he'll be this lucid, wants to say goodbye. And John doesn't let him. Because Rodney's stuck with him until the end. He's not going to turn away, no matter how ugly it's going to get. The very thought of saying goodbye is so foreign to John that he doesn't even want to discuss it. "That's final."

(Also, just for aesthetics alone, the night shots of the city are beautiful.)

I'm trying to be a bit less rambly, but what can you do when you have this masterpiece of an episode?

In the cave, when Rodney is intense pain, John has his arm around him the whole time and doesn't let go until he is himself again.

I love how everyone is so caring and surrounds him with love.

And ugh, the surgery - with fucking power tools. Barbaric. But necessary. But man, to hold your friend's head in your hands, holding him still, while a literal drill is going into his skull? I'd have passed out.

The only tiny little thing that was a bit jarring was Rodney's confession to Jennifer at the end, and just because for me, it came a bit out of left field. But I am nothing if not good at ignoring things that I don't like, so I'll just refer to fanfics that fix this. No harm done.

And finally.

David Ian Hewlett.

Holy fuck, dude.

HOW are you not buried under a shitload of Emmys? How is there not a whole wing of your house dedicated to housing the tons of awards you should have gotten for this? (I know he did get quite a few, but I'm talking custom built shelves in at least four rooms. Minimum.)

Everyone brought their A game acting wise, but this guy knocked it out of the park. It was heartbreaking, moving, extremely believable, and just jaw-dropping. David is, in my opinion, one of the best, if not the best actor of the franchise, and I don't say that lightly. I have a massive crush on Joe Flanigan and he's great, same with Amanda Tapping, but David is just fantastic.

So yeah. There you have it. My very concise, totally normal opinion of this episode. I doubt anyone reads all of this, but hey, this is my tumblr and I do what I want.

If you did indeed sit through all of this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to tag or reply or add stuff.

#stargate atlantis #john sheppard #rodney mckay #mcshep #it feels wrong to tag this disaster husbands because that's ususally so lighthearted #episode 5x06: The Shrine #thoughts and opinions™️

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

“Okay, but I want to do that again. And again, and again, and again. With you; only you.” Sinister/OFC of your choice, please

Ugh...I honestly have no way to tell if this is any good at all. Please, if you read this and like it, let me know. I'm so blind in my writing block these days, I can't even judge when I've done something right.

Sinister Strange x Beauty Lincoln (OFC)

This...this shouldn't be happening, she was thinking.

Followed by, it's only a dream...it's just a dream...and I'm not really responsible for what happens in my dreams...am I?

But Beauty knew that wasn't quite right. This was a lucid dream; more than that, it was far from her first. Though it had been months and months since those last ones--and this was far more pleasant than those in the past--his lips on hers were like a taste of heaven after going far too long deprived of Stephen's kisses. She had to wonder, am I so lonely and pitiful and desperate that I'd seek out the dark version of the man I love...the polar opposite of the man who once loved me...just to feel desired again?

It takes two to make this dream we're sharing, precious.

She knew she was hearing his thoughts as likely as he heard her own. That was no surprise, and somehow neither was his assertion. You want this as much as I do, Beauty. I've been waiting a long time for you to let down your guard..."

The claim of his sensuous lips on hers only strengthened as he cupped her face in his powerful hands, further weakening her resolve to deny the forbidden connection between them. Inevitably, she allowed him to nudge her own lips to part enough and accept the slide of his tongue against hers. And of course, the flavor that filled her mouth when he did so was not like her Stephen's at all. Exotic, it was, like some dark rum spiked with unfamiliar spices and promises of a decadence she had never known.

How are you even alive? I saw him vanquish you. Her mind flashed back to the deadly flight of the Eldritch Sword, which her Stephen had used to pierce the black heart of that sinister version of himself. The one who had abducted her while she slept, into the Dream Realm as bait to draw her Stephen--whom he hated beyond any other--to his dying universe. That Dark Strange had died, and thus had troubled her dreams no more--so how was it even possible he haunted her dream now with a clarity that felt real?

Did you really think that was enough to kill me for good, sweetling? Your Stephen was either a fool or misled you. Either way, it matters not. All that matters now is this kiss...and what will follow.

What will follow? Cold panic pierced her mind. Wake up! Wake yourself now, her rational mind demanded, wake up before you cross a line too far...

Yet she was whimpering softly in the depths of his kiss, shivering with the heat this dark and wicked doppelganger had kindled in her flesh. A low growl rose from the center of his chest, and she could feel how pleased this sinister mage was with her inability to hide her sudden, terrible longing.

The advantage was all his as Beauty's will to fight off each new advance slowly melted away in the heat growing between them. This Strange kissed her like he already knew her weaknesses; as if he had studied her and understood her secret desires and was determined to satisfy each one. Surely just part of a game meant to steal her away from his nemesis, for his own ultimate satisfaction.

He twined the elegant, scarred fingers of one hand in her hair and slid his other to the center of her back, pulling her flush against him. The muscles beneath his tunic were as firm as she remembered Stephen's were. Tears prickled her eyes as Beauty reckoned how eternally long it had been since he had held her. And this all felt so goddamn good! She couldn't stop her hands from following the familiar pathways she had loved so well. One lay above his heart, with the other palm against the side of his neck. Despite the paleness of his flesh, it was warm enough to surprise her--while his strong pulse confirmed that this had to be more than a dream.

Mine...mine...mine...

That thought was faint, like the whisp of a whisper, as though this eldritch man hadn't meant for her to hear it.

A surge of anger filled her chest. No. I will not be a pawn in your quest for revenge. Her mind repeated it like a mantra until Beauty was able to pull away, out of his arms and out of the ecstasy of his kiss. She ran her hands through her hair, raising her face to Strange’s, practically hissing the words. 'I will not be your pawn!'

Though the most wicked creature she had ever encountered, his smile--Stephen's smile--had nearly the power to weaken her again. But it was his words that broke through the haze of her ire. 'Oh, sweetling. This has nothing to do with revenge.' Strange took a tentative step forward while Beauty held her ground. 'But I recognize your lonely heart because mine is more lonely than most people could ever fathom. Is it impossible for you to accept that I've been trying to reach you because I'm wanting you for you? For the lovely light of your soul that has called to me like a beacon. Like a promise of just a bit of redemption after the crimes that have stained not just my fingertips but my very soul black.'

Beauty lowered her gaze, fixing her sight on this Stephen's tremoring hands. In truth, she neither felt nor heard any trace of deceit in his confession. She was remembering her Stephen in their beginning days. How skittish he had been and how patient she had had to be. Offering him friendship in lieu of the far deeper love she had longed to lavish upon him. Would it be wicked of her to show this Stephen at least a little kindness? Especially as he was so alone in his reality, and she so lonely in hers?

'We'd have to set some ground rules,' she told him softly, reasonably. 'You can't just barge into my dreams when you feel like it, and you certainly have to honor whatever boundaries I set...' He was nodding his compliance, wearing that irresistible Stephen smirk, and his eyes, a deeper, richer blue than in her reality, seemed focused on her mouth. And somehow, she felt her lips tingle pleasantly with the rich memory of when their lips first met.

Okay, but I want to do that again. And again, and again, and again. With you; only you.That thought came through clear as day!

Beauty gave a little shrug, quietly pleased by his insistance, but determined that he'd have to prove himself before she granted him a single kiss more. 'Now, I have an early meeting tomorrow, so I really do need a full night's rest. And the next time you visit my dreams, we'll be spending the time together platonically. Does that work for you...Stephen?"

Sufficently chastened, Strange gave a courtly sort of bow, and then with a flourish, conjured a single, long-stem pink rose and handed it to Beauty. With that, he dissolved into a purple mist, his last words like an echo that followed her into a deep, contented sleep. Sweet dreams, Beauty, dear. As sweet as the kisses I will win from you someday soon.

kissing prompts

tagging: @strangelock221 @strangelockd

#my writing #kissing prompts #strangelock221b #Sinister Strange #Beauty Lincoln #Sinister x Beauty #Sinister Strange x OFC #Sinister Strange x Beauty #doctor strange x ofc #stephen strange x ofc #doctor strange fan fiction #doctor strange fanfiction #stephen strange fan fiction #stephen strange fanfiction #Strangebatch #My Eternal Muse #benedict cumberbatch

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

When Evangeline touched the reader it was clear she wasn't an ally, and after her outburst it was clear she saw them as an object, when Yves said that she wanted to be the savior I didn't expect her to be so unhinged on her quest to be the hero, but makes so much sense, and 'the hero gets the girl' or the 'happy ever after' seems things she selfishly would take, not much unlike Monty reader was there at the wrong place and at the wrong time, pretty sure the reader will have more PTSD and self blame

Still? When I saw the trigger warning I was afraid it would be Monty since I thought we would have a break from her, AND we were told he didn't listen to 'no', good we can get a true antagonist, it was crude and raw and awful, I've read other scenes of that kind but usually they make me feel anger and powerlessness, this was complete terror, also Yves has cameras on the room no? I can't imagine how he was when it happened, being stuck and unable to do anything, not much different from us readers being unable to stop reading what was next, but in a way not 'leaving them alone' I had to stop for a bit and even then it felt 'wrong' to leave them alone, the immersion you create is just something so... Impressive I just can't stop saying it, it's so so unique

And of course now Montgomery will have to step up, even if at this point Yves is the safe heaven, Monty is the devil we know, unlike the devil we don't (Evangeline)

Back on topic, the freeze and fawn was tragically something both Montgomery and Evangeline took advantage of, but Evangeline unlike Monty doesn't see them as an equal even less above herself, there was no way she would ever be in a sane relationship with reader, no matter which kind

Also Mr Jones crying and begging for forgiveness, gives me two thoughts, one he knows or feels what's about to come to either him or his family, or is the kind of person that still believes his daughter is a good person that did wrong, I'm more inclined to the later, who knows maybe just self hate on himself 'i should have done better' or something like that, and in that position I feel reader would either just be numb or lash out at him since it's a cycle of abuse, you didn't stop her then I can also blame you for it, and he LACKS a backbone so maybe a bit for the reader to have some feeling of control back, only time will tell

you're always keeping us on our toes can't wait to see what you come up with next

Ou shid man thank you so much for the analysis!! That is true, anyone would be extremely shaken and like beat themselves up for "falling" for Evangeline's facade, but in actuality there isnt really much to go off on , u wouldnt know till its too late

Altho montys a fuckin creep, i did write him to be at least somewhat lucid when readers genuinely upset or disliking whatever hess doing, he does like respect you as a human tho its just that hes delusional to think ur shy,But he knows when to stop which usually is when you cry or lash out at him

This was what i meant for Evangeline to be a sacrificial lamb because shes just there for a short period of time to make something happen and then get killed off on or off screen

Thanx man i was actually worried that i was writing the scenes to be too goofy or crimge, but glad to hear that i do at least let some of my readers experience the immersion i intended to apply

Yeah Yves saw everything and it wasn't good for his psyche , i was planning to write from his pov at some point but i just couldnt convey the horror and anguish he felt so i just leave it up to interpretation and write the aftermath instead

Oh the mr jones begging one is basically just wanting to protect Evangeline, mans doenst know what Yves have in store for them

Hell yeah thanks for the thoughts anon i got them bones for my brain to chew on

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #yandere concept #oc yves #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader #oc evangeline #oc montgomery

[threelionsgirl]

girls things | jadon sancho + marcus rashford

request: "heyy pls can u write a long imagine about when hope jesses kid gets her period when hanging out with jadon and marcus and they don’t know what to do so they comfort her whilst they call reader for help..? tysm" warnings: none word count: 1165 notes: requests are closed! masterlist

"That's not working." Marcus said to Jadon.

The two of them were standing outside the ladies' room of an ice cream parlour that they had decided to go to for a walk with Hope. It was being a nice day, until little Lingard started to get a little weird and locked herself in the bathroom.

At first, the Manchester United boys just thought she was too tight to pee, but they started to get worried about her taking so long. The two really treated Jesse's little girl like a niece and always took her out for walks when they could.

"Hope, for God's sake, you need to tell us if something is going on so we can help you." Jadon tried once more, knocking on the door, but silence remained.

"We should go in." Marcus suggested.

"We can't go in the ladies' room, Rash!"

"Then what the hell are we going to do? Jesse will kill us if anything happens to Hope."

"She just went into the bathroom, nothing that serious could have happened, right?" Jadon pondered. The two were startled when they finally heard the girl's scream from the other side of the door.

"I'm bleeding!!!" They widened their eyes, desperation starting to creep in, imagining the worst things in the world. She could have slipped and hit her head on the sink or else cut herself with something they had forgotten inside.

"What the f-" Marcus stopped himself from saying the swear word, "Hope, are you okay?"

"Okay, little girl, stay calm, we're coming in."

"NO!" Her scream stopped Jadon from turning the knob. "Don't come in."

"We need to get in so we can help you."

"No!" she denied once again and Jadon and Marcus looked at each other in doubt as to whether or not they should override her consent.

"Okay, just tell us, why are you bleeding?" Jadon tried, maybe it was no big deal. She was lucid and talking to them, which was good.

"I… I don't know." She spoke loud enough for them to hear, the answer only made Jadon and Marcus more confused and worried.

"God, Jesse is never going to let us go out with her again." Rashford said to Jadon. "We should get someone to help us."

"Who? "Jesse wasn't an option at that moment even though he was the father and if Hope didn't want the two of them to come in, people she had known since she was a little kid, it wasn't possible to ask a stranger. They stared at each other for a few minutes and seemed to think of the perfect person, so they spoke at the same time, "Y/N."

Then Marcus pulled out his mobile and started calling the girl.

"Hope, just tell us it's not your head that's bleeding." Jadon wanted to make sure.

"It's not my head."

"Less bad." He said, and they both stood there by the door waiting.

Y/N appeared minutes later, she tried to be as quick as possible after Marcus had stressed so many times how urgent it was.

"What the hell is going on here?" she asked as she entered the ice cream parlour and approached them. The boys disentangled themselves from the wall and sighed.

"Y/N! Thank God!" Spoke Rashford holding her shoulders and shaking them a little.

"What's the matter with you guys? And why did I have to come so quickly? Where's Hope? Lingard said you guys went out together today." She asked, looking around for the little girl, until she realised they were in front of the door to the girls' bathroom.

"So… She's in the bathroom and won't come out." Jadon explained. "And she doesn't want to let us in either. We thought you might have better luck."

"She's bleeding!"

"She what-" Y/N's eyes widened at what Marcus said, but it took her only a few seconds to join all the dots. A girl bleeding in a bathroom and not wanting help from anyone male could only mean one thing. "Oh sure. You two are so clueless. Give me some space." She laughed and Jadon and Marcus walked away, rolling their eyes. Calling them idiots was Y/N's favourite thing to do.

Y/N approached and knocked three times on the door before speaking. "Hey, Hope, it's me, Y/N. Can I come in?"

She waited a few seconds and Hope answered. "Y/N?"

"Yeah, honey, it's me, Uncle Marcus called for me to come and help you, are you okay, can I open the door?"

"Yes, but only you."

The sound of the lock opening echoed through the room, Y/N opened the door and walked into the bathroom. She found Hope curled up and sitting on the floor, knowing exactly what she had to do.

When they came out of the bathroom, Y/N at first refused to speak, the only thing Marcus and Jadon noticed was that Hope was wearing the sweatshirt Y/N took, tied around her waist and that she was fine, with no apparent sequelae. They called Jesse and dropped Hope off at home.

In the car, Jadon, who was in the driver's seat, looked at Y/N in the passenger seat. Marcus was in the back and leaned forward to elicit answers from the girl, they were still very confused.

"So, are you going to tell us what happened? Because I don't know Jad, but I was pretty worried."

"I was too." Said Jadon starting the car. "And scared. Really scared of Jesse."

Y/N laughed. "It was no big deal, Hope was on her period." The boys opened their mouths and shook their heads, that explained a lot, "I didn't want to say when we left the bathroom so as not to embarrass her further."

"Oh shit, she could have told us!"

"She was embarrassed, Marcus!" Exclaimed Y/N turning back. Jadon slapped his hand on her arm indicating for her to put on her belt and Y/N rolled her eyes. Those two were so protective. "And she was a bit colicky and out of pads. I gave her some and some medicine too to ease the pain."

"She shouldn't be ashamed of us, we're her uncles long before she was born."

"You may even know her since she was a little baby, but she's still a girl, and you're still two stupid boys." Y/N and Marcus and Jadon made a fake face of indignation at the comment. "It's super normal for her to not want to share some things with you guys, but this whole being ashamed thing is just a phase, we women are structurally taught to be ashamed and want to hide our menstrual period."

"Hm…" Marcus muttered. "Right, so, Jad, write it down: next time we're going out with Hope we're going to need to stop by a pharmacy first."

"Why a pharmacy?"

"To buy medicine, hot bags and pads." He replied proud of his future plan and Y/N rolled her eyes imagining the scene. Jadon and Marcus were clueless, they could buy 50 packs of pads and dump them all over Hope.

"Don't do that, for God's sake!" She laughed. "Hope will never want to go out with you again."

#jadon sancho #marcus rashford #jesse lingard #manchester united #jadon sancho x reader #marcus rashford x reader #jadon sancho imagine #jadon sancho fluff #manchester united imagines #jadon sancho one shot #hope lingard #football fluff #football imagines #requests: jadon sancho #my writing: jadon sancho

[br1ghtestlight]

random thought but i love eugene mirman's gene sounds ESPECIALLY when gene is sleeping. they're so good & cute

louise tina bob and linda looking @ gene literally exactly like this when he forgets how his song goes at breakfast LMAOO

love that tina and louise seem to actually pay attention to what songs gene is writing and what they're about despite the fact that there are SO MANY. supportive family <3

gene's dream.... bro that was god speaking to you. like for real wtf

also im only a minute in and there are SO MANY good screenshots already he's such a cutie i love him so much!!!! <3 gene episodes my beloved

"Now I'm going to change into last night's pajamas, AKA my only pajamas, and brush my teeth with Tina's toothbrush because that's what I accidentally did last night."

"Wait, what?"

gene and tina are so silly?? 😭

me and gene share many similarities including waking up in the middle of the night every two hours for no fucking reason. like THATS relatable

MR AMBROSE APPEARANCE LETS FUCKING GOOO‼️‼️ why does his voice sound slightly sped up is he okay. does he have a new voice actor?? he sounds slightly off not like in a bad way its just strange

THERE WAS A NEW VOICE ACTOR BCUZ BILLY EICHNER WASNT CREDITED maybe bcuz its such a small appearance but thats very weird. i feel like mickey fans in season 12 episode 6 when loren did that horrible mickey impression 😭😭 also whoever did his voice in this episode wasnt credited so it was somebody from the main cast doing an impression of him. will try to figure out who. sorry episode review cancelled i need to figure out who the hell voiced mr ambrose in this episode

based on the fact that u cant obviously tell who it is i dont think its eugene mirman and probably not h jon benjiman?? dan mintz can only do one voice so its not him either. probably either john roberts larry murphy or a random crew member who they didnt bother to credit

(most likely billy eischner just wasn't avaliable to voice mr ambrose due to his movie career etc so i dont blame them but it was noticeable enough to ME that i needed to figure it out. not even a bad impression honestly the average fan wouldnt notice)

"What do you lucid dream about?"

"I do revenge stuff on people who were mean to me in high school, some fantasy and science fiction, some adult stuff I can't tell you about."

this is literally the gayest thing mr ambrose has ever said omg FHFMDDJKSKS i cant believe this drama club ass nerd was bullied in high school who could have guessed. not me thats for sure

(now somebody has to write a fanfic about mr ambrose having Adult Stuff dreams about mr frond. i want this on my desk by 3pm tomorrow)

love mr ambrose and his gay ass curly hair..... mr ambrose my beloved <33 kisses u

i dont have anything to say im just strangely invested in gene's lucid dreaming plot at this point. Love all his silly little dreams and its incredible he never seems to have any nightmares or anything!!

this is reminding me of the movie where gene had a dream and he was scared that he wasn't good at music and that people weren't going to like his performance and the aliens came down to told him to stop 😭😭💔 his insecurity that he might not be that good a musician literally makes me cry. he's so sweet and kindhearted my babyy boy

CAN I SKIP SCHOOL AND GO BACK TO SLEEP LMAO

"Even successful musicians went to sixth grade, Gene."

"That's a MYTH!!"

weirdly mr ambrose started sounding completely normal at some point like did his voice actor come back and just wasn't credited?? or whoever did this impression was REALLY good jfc

mr ambrose HATES these fuckign kids bro

HES SO UNHINGED LMAO 😭😭

NOT THE STARING AGAIN. why are they literally just this image every single time gene plays music in this episode im gonna cry

love this specific frame of gene running his hand through his hair

awww bob is such a good dad

sidenote but this subplot with tina and louise is so stupid it actually made me laugh LMAO the fucking girl cricket. thr female cricket. like what if he's gay huh what then

"or if she's not his type she also makes a great best friend. she's a good listener" THANK YOU louise for acknowledging the cricket might be gay. she's an ally 🙏

AWW GENE WRITING HIS SONG <3 eugene mirman isnt a Good singer (not hating he literally says that all the time. they have to record each line seperately bcuz he cant sing on key) so its hard to tell when they're trying to make gene's songs seem good or not but this is really sweet. u can tell he just loves music so much

why is gene's song kinda making me emotional..... like this show is usually 50/50 on if it actually wants to take gene's songwriting ability seriously but in this episode its so clear how much he LOVES music and songwriting and how talented he is at it. he has trouble with focus and commitment sometimes but thats never an issue when it comes to his music and he'd happily spend an entire afternoon writing a song from start to finish (even skipping out on dinner) because he was so hyperfocused. love how much respect they give gene in this episode tbh

deeply appreciate the "larry murphy as teddy" credit despite teddy not having one single line in this entire episode. Literally just a legacy credit at this point

I LOVED THIS EPISODE 😭😭💕 i dont think it'll be as widely popular as some other episodes this season but as a gene fan and an artist this episode really resonated with me. the ending sequence was actually really beautiful (gives me the same vibes as "your heart's not broken its only growing" tbh) and i loved gene's song and all the different costumes they put him in for his dreams!! tina and louise's subplot was really cute too. very enjoyable episode if you're a gene fan or just a casual viewer who wishes he got more focus. he's SO SWEET and so passionate <3

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review

[skelemira]

can i get a uhhhhh Grillby telling a tired y/n to get some sleep pwease

Absolutely you can, anon! I freaking love writing these ones, I have a lot of experience telling my friends to go to bed *stares at @lemon-lucid and @queeniesdomain*.

Anyway! Not sure if you wanted it to be romantic or platonic, but I'll try to write it ambiguously where Reader could just be a friend living with Grillby.

Mutual Exhaustion

Grillby wiped down the counter, waving at Sans as he left. With Sans gone, he looked around the empty bar, enjoying the soft jazz floating through the air from the jukebox. He absently noted that it sounded a bit staticky, so he probably should take a look at it later on. Something about the soothing music and the rich colours of the wood he was polishing just exacerbated the exhaustion he was feeling front the long day of work, and he finally set down the rag. It was clean enough, and Sans, despite his supposed laziness, always helped him turn over the chairs and mop. Well... He used his gravity magic to push the mop around, at least. Either way, it meant he could finally go upstairs and spend some time with the cute little human up there.

He locked up and headed upstairs, the thought of maybe watching a movie or playing cards with you spurring him through his exhaustion. Each step felt like walking a mile, but it got easier the closer he got to the door. The closer he got to seeing you.

When he finally pushed open the door, though, his eyes immediately went to you.... and closed with a sigh as he saw you in front of your computer, completely conked out. You tended to be a bit of a workaholic, taking on requests like crazy until you collapsed from exhaustion. Then when you were forced to take a break from work, you would deep clean the entire apartment and claim that it was relaxing for you. But the bags under your eyes told a different story.

The best days were when you both had a day off, and he could wrangle you into actually relaxing with promises of cuddles and snacks and movies.

But right now he had to do his Duty. So as much as he had wanted to spend time with you, he knew that the more important thing right now was getting you to bed.

You jolted awake as Grillby smoothed back your hair, startling him as well, but as soon as recognition sparked in your eyes, you reached up to give him a hug... and missed completely.

You totally misjudged where he was and almost fell flat on your face, but thankfully Grillby was slightly more awake and barely caught you.

Unfortunately, this didn't tip you off to the fact that you were exhausted. Instead, you seemed even more determined to stay awake, even though your eyes weren't totally focusing on him and you practically had a death grip on his arms to keep yourself upright.

When you slow-blinked for so long he thought you actually fell asleep, that's when he decided to just pick you up and carry you to bed. You protested, but your voice was so weak it didn't really do much to help your case.

He set you down on the bed, holding back a chuckle at how you seemed to sink into the mattress for a moment before remembering your protests.

"W...wait, Grillbs... If I'm... If I'm gonna... I'm gonna bed then at least... Let me.. uh.. my.. my glowy... thingy.... work thing."

He raised a fiery eyebrow, desperately trying not to laugh. "Given that you can't even remember the word laptop, I think that's a hard no, bunny. Get some rest." With that, he tucked you in and went to lay down next to you, hoping to keep you from trying to get up to go back to work. Not that you could, of course, seeing as your eyes could barely open. But it wouldn't stop you from trying if he wasn't there.

So he pulled you close and listened to your breathing slow, feeling your delicate heartbeat lull him into a peaceful sleep as well.

Well I hope you liked it anon!! Thank you so much for requesting! And just a reminder that you can make multiple requests!

#undertale #undertale grillby #grillby #grillby x reader #romantic #or #platonic #tired reader #tired Grillby #fanfiction #drabble #writing #Undertale fanfiction #self insert

[halsteadlover]

Chasing the nightmares away

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairings: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested by @hngbrooks: Got a request was going through your life with Jay Halstead and came across this, When you have bad dreams he’s always there for you. He holds you to him and whispers sweet things and reassures until you feel better. Can u do something like the reader went through a bad childhood and they just finished a case that’s similar to her past and she has a nightmare and jay is there to comfort her something that is just pure fluff because I miss JAY WITH FLUFF.

• Warnings: mention of child abuse, alcohol, murder, ugly ass writing.

• Word count: 2347.

• A/N: this is so ugly bye. I’m sorry for how this turned out, I feel like I’m not good at this anymore. Anyways, let me know what you think if you want. Thank you for your constant support!

Working in the police was both rewarding and, at times, frustrating. There were some cases that were sometimes easier than others to deal with, let it be clear however, each case was difficult in itself, but over time you got used to it and learned to deal with them better, with more strength. But, other times, some cases were much more difficult to solve and no matter how much experience you might have, you couldn't help but get involved.

And that case was no exception.

Together with Intelligence, you were dealing with a murder case of a ten-year-old girl. She was suspected to have been killed by her father following numerous horrific abuse and mistreatment. Her mother had unfortunately died a few years before her so that poor little girl had no one to count on, no one who could save her from her father.

It wasn't so hard to find evidence against him and, after arresting him, you were more than happy to throw him in jail with the desire to see him rot and suffer there for the rest of his miserable life.

You couldn't deny it, this case was one of the most difficult you found yourself facing and being able to remain detached and lucid was almost impossible. It must’ve been because you knew very well how that little girl felt, you knew what it was like to live with the fear that the person who was supposed to protect you was instead the main cause of your illness, you knew what it meant to live with the anxiety that from one moment to else he would’ve exploded and started to hit you, you knew what it meant not to fully enjoy your childhood, never a good moment in the family because you lived with the fear that it could end too soon since you never knew when your father would come back drunk and he would’ve taken it out on you.

When you were little you even thought it was normal, but after all you were just a child, how could you know?

You had the fortune to be saved, to manage to ask for help and to escape from that monster who lived in your house, but not little Lucie. She would’ve been ten years old forever, she would never grow up, she would never found the love of her life, she would never find out that there was a good life waiting for her outside of her horrible family situation and your heart ached for her. She didn't deserve it.

You had the fortune to meet a person who had been by your side from the very first moment, who helped you pick up pieces you were sometimes still losing.

Jay knew about your bad childhood, what you’ve been through and for this reason, without even you telling him, he immediately understood that for you this wasn’t going to be a case like any other.

He never left you alone, he was always there next to you, he constantly asked you how you were, if you needed a break. While you were discussing the case with the team his gaze was always on you as if to make sure you were okay, and you were eternally grateful for that. Maybe you really would’ve fallen apart if it wasn’t for him.

When you got back home the evening of the day the case was closed, your heart was lighter, relieved the monster son of a bitch had been caught and the little girl had been granted justice.

“Baby what do you want to eat?” Jay asked, entering right after you and closing the front door behind him. He immediately took off the jacket that he hung on the coat hanger and immediately helped you to take off yours.

“I'm not very hungry to be honest, but you eat something love,” you answered, your stomach still closed. Jay placed his hands on your shoulders and left a kiss on your cheek, before wrapping them around and pulling you towards him in such a way that your back was pressed against his chest.

“Baby please, you've barely eaten these days, you have to eat,” he whispered into your ear, clearly concerned for you. You placed your hands on his forearms that were around your shoulders, caressing the skin covered by the shirt. His lips continued to leave kisses on your cheek while with his nose he inhaled deeply the scent of your hair, of your skin.

“I'm really not hungry baby, I just want to go get some rest,” you closed your eyes, letting yourself gently be rocked by his arms and the feel of his kisses.

“No, I won't let you go to sleep until you eat something. So, what would you like to eat? Pizza? Something from Chinese? Mexican?” he insisted “Or would you like me to make you your favorite dish?”.

You turned your head towards him and seeing your eyes light up, Jay let out a giggle, figuring out what your answer would be.

“But you’re tired baby...” you started, but he interrupted you.

“I'm not, I just want you to eat something and be okay baby. Now, how about I start cooking and you take a shower in the meantime so you can join me in the kitchen later?”.

You nodded before giving him a kiss on the lips. “Thank you love, I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

After you had dinner, you realized how hungry you really were. Jay was glad he cooked more so you could make an encore. He hadn't seen you eat so well in days, since you started working the case, and seeing you so satisfied filled his heart with joy.

It was hard to get Jay to let you do the dishes since he didn't want you to lift a finger, but eventually he relented and you managed to get him to go take a shower while you cleaned the kitchen instead.

After you settled into bed, Jay pulled you into his arms and held you tightly against him, your head resting on his chest and your arm encircling his chest. He stroked your hair while he occasionally kissed your forehead, a gesture he knew you loved dearly.

“Try to rest baby, you deserve it,” he would whisper to you and thanks to the warmth of his arms, his cuddles and his sweet words, you eventually fell asleep, the tiredness of those days getting the better of you.

“This is what you deserve! You broke my bottle bitch!”

Those screams again.

That anger again.

That belt again.

“I didn't do it on purpose dad please!” I try to scream through my tears, hands forward as I try to defend myself, without success.

I didn't do it on purpose. I really didn't want to break his last bottle of whiskey. I was just trying to play.

“You bitch! I wish you were dead!” he angrily yells, as his belt hits my back again.

What have I done to deserve it?

He's just drunk, he loves me.

I'm just a little girl.

My mom.

Where is my mom?

I look around. She is sitting on the sofa. She doesn't look at me. I realize she passed out.

Sometimes I forgot that she was an alcoholic too.

I cry even more. I try to scream but I can't. I feel too much pain. I feel like I'm going to faint.

God please make it stop.

God finally grants my wishes and I fall asleep.

I no longer feel pain.

“Y/N wake up, wake up!”

Jay kept yelling, hands on your shoulders as he tried to wake you up. You were having a nightmare, and from the way your body writhed it was a really bad one.

You suddenly woke up, sitting up on the mattress, your chest rising and falling as quickly as if you had just run a marathon. Your eyes were filled with tears, your forehead dripping with sweat as you tried to figure out where you were.

It took you a while to figure out where you were, that you were in your bedroom, with Jay, and you weren’t the little girl her father was beating mercilessly in the kitchen.

Jay kept talking to you but you couldn't understand a word he was saying, your mind racing as you burst into hysterical crying. You covered your face with your hands and only then did you realize that Jay was actually hugging you.

“It's okay baby, it's okay,” he kept talking to you, his heart in a grip as he cradled you gently in his arms. “You're safe with me, you're safe, I won't let anything bad happen to you. ”

You didn't answer, you just cried your eyes out. His hand caressed your back, while his arms squeezed you like they had never done before.

“You're safe… Cry as much as you want, I'm here with you I won't leave you,” he whispered, giving you a kiss on the forehead “We're here in our bedroom, together, you're safe…”

“J-Jay… He…” you stammered, not even knowing what you actually meant.

“It's okay baby, he's not here anymore, he can't hurt you. You're safe with me, I won't let anything happen to you again,” he kept repeating, trying to calm you down a little.

With every tear that came out of your beautiful eyes, Jay felt a piece of his soul tear away. He hated seeing you like that, so sad, so vulnerable, he hated being there next to you and not being able to do anything to make you feel better. He wanted nothing more than to see you happy, to see that beautiful smile of yours always printed on your lips. To see you so shaken and fragile... God, a bullet would’ve hurt less.

He would’ve done anything to make you feel better, he would’ve sold his soul to make you forget everything that had happened to you, everything you had to endure since you were a child.

He wanted to cry too. He wanted to cry because you felt like shit, because you would never be able to get over the trauma that the person who was supposed to love you may have caused you; because you had so many wounds that Jay wanted so badly to heal but sadly he would never be able to. He wanted to cry for the little girl you were, because he couldn't get the image out of his head of a little you scared, defenseless, while being beaten so badly by her father, under the indifference of her mother, the people who had to protect you from the horrible world that was outside and not become the source of your nightmares themselves.

He wanted to cry because he would’ve given anything to go back in time and save you, to give you the world and defend you from all the evil that surrounded you, because you deserved it, you deserved to live a peaceful and happy childhood like any child, you deserved to receive love, kisses, hugs, no punches, slaps, beatings, because you were such a good, kind, pure soul, and Jay couldn't even imagine how anyone could even lay a finger on you. And that fucking pissed him off like nothing ever did. No one should dare harm you, his most precious treasure.

He also wanted to cry for the fantastic and strong person you had become, because despite everything you had transformed all your suffering into your greatest strength and thanks to it you were now able to send people who hurt other to jail and he was so proud of you, even though the past still sometimes knocked on your doors and felled you like a hurricane.

“Do you want a glass of water? Something?” he asked. You had calmed down a bit and stopped crying, your chest still shaking with sobs.

You shook your head, pulling Jay tighter against you, fisting his T-shirt.

“It's okay, it's okay baby, I'm not leaving you, I'm here, I'm not leaving,” he immediately said, leaving another little kiss on your forehead “Tell me if you want something, anything.”

You nodded, throat and mouth dry. Your mind did nothing but project those images, that nightmare over and over again and for an instant it seemed you were reliving the fear, the terror of those moments.

“Do you want to talk about it baby?” Jay asked in a whisper.

“It's just… It was awful… I broke his bottle…” you stammered but Jay tightened his grip on you.

“Shh it's okay, it's okay, he's not here, he won't hurt you...”

“It was so real, it was like going back to when I was a kid. When is it gonna end Jay?”

His heart tightened at hearing that question. Jay wanted so badly to answer it but he couldn't. “I don't know baby, but I will always be here with you every step of the way.”

You remained in that position, embraced, for an indefinite time. Jay kept stroking your back, your hair, consoling and comforting you, whispering sweet words to you in an attempt to make you feel a little better.

“How are you feeling now baby?”.

“Better,” you replied, pulling away slightly from Jay's grip, “I'll go get a glass of water.”

“No baby I'll go, you stay here,” and before you could even object, Jay was already on his feet and already heading towards the kitchen.

“Here,” he gave you the glass, then sat down next to you again, his eyes fixed on you as his hand caressed your back.

“Thanks sweetheart.”

You drank the glass of water which you then placed on the nightstand next to the bed, before taking refuge again in Jay's arms, who didn't even wait half a second before embracing you again and squeezing you tightly.

And that's how you stayed all night, in the arms of the person you loved most in the world, the only one who was able to make you feel safe and protected.

Tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @lxna-mikaelsxn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @xeleni-nurse, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @hehurst23, @upsteadlovingheart, @secondaryjob, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutl0ver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @cbaby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @alexxavicry, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @resanoona, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @halstead-severide-fan, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @hngbrooks, @mrspeacem1nusone,

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[taeyamayang]

hiiiiiiiii bestie omg omg omg another event !

i’d love love love to take part in your 365 days event ! <3

the character i would like is my baby my everything, aone takanobu and i’d love something soft and fluffy and i’m feelin some domesticity bc oml

maybe just, a small cuddly sleeping piece ? <3

whether or not you can bubs, thank you so so much and treat yourself well !! <3

have a flower while i go for another entry 🌷✨—

ahhh requesting for aone reminds me of my untouched draft/one shot written for him. i think the best motivation to get my ass to work on it is through this so thanks for the boost!

i haven't been writing in ages (will tell why soon) so please don't expect so much on this

just one more day.

tomorrow he will be back in the city and you will be with him but, again, he was gone for twenty one days. three weeks without his towering height shadowing the carpeted floor makes the apartment suddenly feel empty, lifeless even. the loud chuckles from a late night show on television is not enough to fill the space with a bright tone the room once had.

so, another day without him is unbearably long. you miss him so much you would be willing to skip a sunset just to cut the day short. for now, all you can think of is a quick remedy to patch up your longing. a piece of sweater from his drawer may not be the best to replicate him but anything works fine as long as you get to snuggle in his scent. in that way, he feels much closer.

the sun had finally set and the moon pierces through the window. it wasn't long when you succumbed to sleep, letting your droopy eyelids take you to dreamland. and maybe you were too deep in slumber, too indulged in dreamscape that vision slowly merges with reality.

although, it isn't surprising that you're having a dream about him. the bed dipping under his weight as he crawls next to you. he wraps his arm around your waist as he kisses the top of your head.

"take a rest, my angel."

you wriggle around his caged arm to turn around and face him. the scent from his sweater must have triggered lucid dreaming because everything feels too real.

you feel the sweater trapped under your body move as takanobu gently tugs on it. in a swift motion, you hear the poor sweater meet with the floor of the bedroom.

"you didn't have to do that. i'm here." he whispers in your ear. thereafter, leaving a sweet peck on your temples, giggling at the sight of your curled body next to him. his fingers brush your hair before burying your face further into the space between his neck and shoulder.

and you swear that this is the best dream you ever had. as you pull him closer to you, interlacing your short legs around his' you murmur into his chest. "i miss you, i cannot wait another day without you."

right then, you feel a gentle push on your shoulder and a broad hand cupping your cheeks.

"babe? babe, i'm here." you hear him call. it was through a gentle tapping on your cheek that you finally fluttered your lids.

shock wakens your senses as your eyes meet with a pair you're most familiar with. you earn a laugh from him and by instinct you push him away. you are not expecting a guest tonight, more so not on your bed. still quiet confused with what's unraveling before you, you blink away the blur from your sleep for you to see a better picture of him.

is he here or is your mind playing tricks on you?

"y-you- how-" disoriented and surprised, you are unable to form coherent sentences yet you continue. "you're supposed to be home tomorrow not tonight. why are you here? it's not that i am not happy you're home but i wasn't ready and i missed you so much. is this real or am i going crazy-"

takanobu cuts you off as he pulls you back into his arms. the slow rumble from his chest resonates as he embraces you tightly. "i missed you too."

"how about tonight's practice?" you question, still snuggled into his hug.

"done."

"tomorrow morning's meeting?"

"done."

"how?"

"we finished early."

"how early?"

"around 10pm." he nonchalantly states making your eyes round in shock. your skim through the dim lighted room to search for the wall clock. the smaller hand points to four.

"babe, it's 4 in the morning!" you swat him on his shoulder albeit he smiles endearingly as he watches you go nuts over impulsive decisions.

"yeah." he nods.

"what do you mean by "yeah", mr. aone takanobu? have you slept a wink?"

"kinda."

"kinda?!" you look at him at shoulder length. the whites of his eyes are a bit reddish and the bags under his eyes are more prominent than the last you remembered.

"i took a nap on the plane."

"have you eaten dinner?"

"yes, on the plane too. now please can we sleep?" he pulls you back to him, rubbing his cheek on the side of your head. "this is what i missed the most in my trip."

hence, you settle in between his arms. your head resting on his arm, and just a few minutes in, he speaks again. "does sleeping with sweater work?"

"maybe. i like your scent. it feels almost like you're here." a small smile plays on your lips as he says,

"i'm bringing your sweater the next time i leave the city for a game."

m.list | hq.list | 365 DAYS EVENT

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #pea.event #hq aone #hq events #hq drabbles #hq imagine #hq fluff #hq romance #hq x reader #aone x reader #aone takanobu #aone x y/n #pea.writes

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

i'm so sorry for how nonsensical this might be but entertain me for a second here because i think you're maybe one of the only daemon writers who might understand where i'm coming from,,, anyway i'm pretty sure (unless i'm remembering incorrectly) that there's a scene in ilibitsos where we see babey deal with sub-drop, right?

so tell me why i'm now stuck on the thought of daemon and how he 100% deals with dom-drop (or whatever you wanna call the dom equivalent). he's such an emotion heavy guy and that, combined with his emotional constipation (which matches his literal constipation), probably leads him down the path of destruction to dom-dropping.

it would have to be after babey does something to make him worry - which, at this point, her doing anything without his prior knowledge seems to do the trick- and worry is something daemon typically expresses with anger. so let's say the reader pulled some shit where she went and done something that daemon, rhaenyra and basically everyone told her explicitly not to do. when she gets back, daemon's in one of his "gah im so angry i need to stab her womb with my flesh sword" moods (never thought i'd describe a cock as a flesh sword but here we are). so he's taking her from behind, either with his hand shoving her head down into the mattress or pinning her down to whatever surface he's bent her over and he's going at it. like, poor babey is definitely gonna feel it for a few days after. and he's just spewing his usual depravity, barely lucid of the fact he's slowly switching from calling her an ill behaved whore to ranting about how worried he was, how she needs to apologize for not letting him get a wink of sound sleep, how he hates how weak it made him feel to know she was in danger and nothing he could do would take her away from it. until, eventually, everything he feels- in his heart, not his cock- becomes too overwhelming and he just needs to stop. babey's smart so she obviously notices the switch in energy immeadiately and she's calling out to him, trying to turn around and get a look at him but he's not letting her. he's just... staring at the back of her head, hands slowly loosening the iron-tight grip they had on her hips and switching to caresing her skin, feeling that she's physically there. when babey finally manages to turn herself over and face her sweet tortured husband, he's frowning like he's angry but staring at her like she's the finest porcelain that'll smash if he's not careful with the way he touches her. he won't talk, can't talk, but that's okay cause she understands him even when he says nothing and so she gives him what he really needs, craddling him in her arms, soothing over his back with her hand, whispers of i'm okay and i'm right here, kepus and you can't always keep me safe but you'll always lead me home thrown upon deaf ears as daemon does his lil sad boi forehead touch and just melts into her, taking in her smell and just taking in the fact she's present beside him, letting himself finally feel all those dark, heavy, suppressed emotions he pushed down all those days she wasn't by his side.

and ahhh wtf did i just write, i'm so sorry this was genuinely meant to just be a short enquiry onto daemon and his possible dom-dropping but i started writing it and then this happened instead. i hope this wasn't overstepping any boundary or anything like that. all this to say, big slay, loved the first chapter of the pregnancy fic, excited for the possible future return of murderer-core daemon once the dance hits.

(this might have sent twice by accident so, if it did, sorry! tumblr's just a dramatic girlie who likes to tell me there was a problem sending my ask)

Hey! Yes, there is a scene that deals with sub-drop, and it's probably one of the few things that I know about dom/sub dynamics, to be honest haha!

And wow, this is such a good analysis of Daemon's whole come-down, it's like you shoved fingers inside my brain and wiggled stuff around and produced something really cool from half-assed fragments lying around in there, lol. His default is totally anger; it's what he vibes with whenever he has the Big Feelings, even if he's more upset, or worried, or afraid. He gets the Big Angries instead, haha! But oh, vulnerable Daemon hit me in the feels with this one - I fucking love it. Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I DEFINITELY need to start a new tag called 'daemon writing notes' so I can keep this on FILE.

Never be concerned about overstepping boundaries, I'm so fucking flattered that my silly fic was even worth the time it would've taken to type this out! I love your ideas - we are one spiritually, I swear. I'm so glad you liked the first chap of the pregnancy fic, and murderboi!Daemon might even be coming in this fic, to be honest! I'm really craving some violent energy from him, and we gotta start easing Babey in early!

(This ask totally didn't send twice, so you're all good!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY @houseofhyde BAE!!!!

#fanfiction comments #daemon writing notes

[bysaber]

HIYAAA, this is me, IM SO HAPPY YOU WANT TO BE MOOTS WITH ME AS WELL, so far ive finsihed most of my assignments I just a few that take a little more longer and so much more effort but after that im so taking a big break.

so true though, ive been a ghost user since I joined and that was like 2020 I totally saw the rise and the fandom of the superwholock era but I never really joined in on it as I haven't watched those shows so Tumblr was like an app that was there but I wasn't using it every hour of the day as I am now, it has now become my favourite escape from reality other than sleeping (and even that could use some improvement like lucid dreaming or maybe even shifting) >_< so ive just been a consumer on here until I see like blogs that drop posts within a minute and the next day it has more than like 10,000 notes (WHICH they soo deserve bc damn they write so majestically) and I was like man I would die if even one person liked my posts and liked what I wrote, I cant even imagine how I would react to 100 let alone 10,000. like I think I would sob. and the way blogs write their posts, you can tell they put their whole mind and soul and everything into it, its so beautiful. so this community really ignited my previously dead passion for writing and I love it for that.

I have no experience in working but I think I might have to start soon since my situation sort of demands it so I have no idea what its like but I can only imagine changing 100% of a campaign is more than stressful, I hope it goes well for you and you get more free time to yourself.

also I noticed you said mother language, i'm actually curious, what's your mother language?

also side note: I was rereading your sukuna body and soul fic (for like the nth time bc I cant get enough of it) and I was so shocked bc like I LOATHE sukuna after like everything he did ARGH I cant express how much I hate him but omg that fic, mmmh, it hit different because my hatred for him, boom, somehow became nonexistent and im daydreaming about being the reincarnated lover of this epitome of evil man. im literally catching feelings that's how good it was.

i really enjoyed your reply and I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, its honestly the first time im having interactions other than likes on here. and im so glad that I get to be mutuals with you.

hope you're doing well, >>>>3333

euorian.

I'm so happy to finally meet you, boo! <3

I hope you can finish your assignments asap and enjoy the New Year's and also a good break!!

I actually watched 2/3 of superwholock so it was... an experience!! I also get so happy when I see authors with that many notes because I know how they put their hearts into their writing and they totally deserve it. and they're doing it FOR FREE, it's kinda insane especially when we read some shakespearian level kinda thing.

and I can tell you even one interaction makes a big difference, people like you -- taking a bit of your time to write a little something -- supporting us mean the world. so, thank you again. and I assure you I'll be there to support you as well with your writing ^_^

and AHHHHHHHHH I'm so glad you liked my sukuna!!! I'm gonna tell ya I'm NOT a sukuna girlie lol. gojo is my fav jjk character (toji and megumi fight for 2nd place). BUT I think sukuna is a great villain, he's hot af and I mean-- I WOULD. and the idea of that big bad monster, the king of curses, being obsessed with a woman? A SIMP? IM DOWN.

definitely gonna write more about him.

my mother language is portuguese !!!

you can always talk to me, send me DMs, whatever u want! again, its nice to meet you, euorian. <3

#askaway #euorian 🖤 #body and soul

[redpeppermilkshake]

Mulholland Drive - A Red Pepper Review

warning - huge spoilers ahead!!

RATING: 4/5 PEPPERS 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

A few years ago, I sat down and watched a little movie by an indie director named David Lynch. Maybe you've heard of him? He made a film called Mulholland Drive, which was released in 2001. Of course, I'm joking, and of course this movie is a cinematic marvel and cited as one of the greatest movie ever by critics and viewers alike.

So, then, why did I absolutely fucking hate it when I watched it? The credits rolled and I remember staring at my laptop feeling cheated. Why did this have a 4.5/5 on Letterboxd, and an 84% on Rotten Tomatoes? I found it hard to believe that anyone, let alone dummies like me, had watched this movie and actually come away from it with some semblance of understanding of what the fuck had just happened.

I chalked it up to not being my "thing". I warned friends not to watch it. But it nagged at me. I'm not stupid. There must be some way for me to understand this movie. I thought, as time passed, maybe I just wasn't in the right frame of mind when I watched it?

I was somewhat familiar with David Lynch. I watched Blue Velvet, and although that was baffling, it was still good. I watched The Elephant Man recently and was so touched by its soul crushing depiction of what it means to be a human being that I sobbed for an hour straight. But Mulholland Drive? It was an anomaly. It was a mountain I couldn't seem to climb.

So, I set out to change my own mind. It was worth another shot. If my second watch went as badly, I'd know it really wasn't for me.

Now, why am I so invested in this? I'm currently in my last few days of being unemployed, so what better time than now to hyper-fixate on a film I'm going to sit down and watch by myself on my bed.

I had to prepare. I read 3 or 4 articles. I wrote out a whole damn timeline on my iPad. I made a character chart. I read and read and researched and made a mental note of everything I came across. Of course, it can be argued that doing this could have taken away from the "authenticity" of what I was watching, but as far as I was concerned it would only compliment my viewing experience.

My first viewing was a fever dream, I told myself, as I sat down to start watching. This time around, with the added context of my first watch, I was sure I would get a better sense of what's going on.

And let me tell you, I did!! So much so that I have to write about it.

First of all, I think this movie REQUIRES more than one viewing to really wrap your head around it. It's a massive mind fuck. But a good one.

I honestly really enjoyed it! I became emotional a few times towards the end, which was probably a mix of pity, shock, sadness, and even fear. My mind was processing things at a mile a minute, and it was a a fun ride, albeit a chaotic one.

This time around, knowing that the first ~2 hrs are a dream made things click. No wonder the characters were a little bit off. They're a figment of someone's imagination. I LOVE dream analysis, so I really enjoyed being conscious of the fact that things weren't real as I was watching it. I have really vivid dreams, and I feel like the way it was depicted in this movie is almost an exact science. It's insane that they were able to capture that vibe so powerfully.

At some points, I kinda felt like Diane was lucid dreaming. Like when the woman in apartment 12 steps outside to join them to go to apartment 17. On one hand, maybe Diane's brain is trying to prevent them from going in because it's getting a little too close to home. But, then, how will they find the answers they're looking for if this random lady tags along?? She has to be stopped! It's almost like Diane is aware of this and conjures up a phone call to get her not to go. 

This dream is constantly molded by Diane to be an amalgamation of events that can help her escape her shitty reality for as long as possible. When the singer at the club is clearly lip syncing, the jig is finally up and the ending is upon us.

Some of the awkward dialogue, which seemed weird and even bad on my first watch, now makes SO much more sense. And it really draws you into the story. The surrealness of the story is not only something you can see but something you can feel. It's all a little unsettling. I got some serious uncanny valley vibes - It's like everyone in Diane's dream is trying desperately to be human but they're falling just short of the mark and it made me so uneasy!

It was interesting watching the ending and piecing together how Diane's dream was formed. Afterall, the images and things you see in your dreams have to come from somewhere. She lives in a shitty, beat up apartment so she dreams that she's in a luxurious, well decorated one. Camilla doesn't love her back, so she dreams that Camilla is "Rita" and she's a placid, wounded bird who's ever so grateful for her help. But she doesn't say I love you back, and afterwards the cracks start to form. Diane hired the hitman in the diner, so in her dream "Dan" is utterly petrified by the "monster" in the back. In her dream, Diane (or Betty) has an unbelievably amazing audition where she blows away everyone in the room. She's compensating for her failure to become a successful actress in reality. Director Adam in the dream is being pressured by the mob to hire Camilla, underscoring the real Camilla's claim to fame. Diane makes it as if Camilla was hired for better roles than her due to things completely out of Diane's control, softening the blow of her failure to land big roles. Also, the girl who plays dream Camilla kisses the real Camilla at the dinner party, so she plays the dream Camilla whose hired based on false pretenses. This is all designed to make Diane feel better about her acting abilities and her miserable career. The "cowboy" briefly flashes on the screen when the woman that Camilla kisses at the party is leaving. He flashes by at the perfect time; Diane registers his appearance, and she sees him recently enough for him to become a character in her dream. And she sees him twice at the end of her dream, which is what he said would happen if she did something "bad". She hired that hitman—that's real bad!

I am struggling to wrap my mind around the significance of that old couple. I think I might fall down a rabbit hole about what they mean in a few short minutes. Maybe they're just there to taunt Camilla. They send her off in LA, wishing her well, but afterwards in the car at the airport there's a deviousness to their behavior. It's almost like they know she's bound to fail.

Anyways, there are just so many things I picked up on this time around that made watching this such an interesting experience. Another watch may be necessary in the future.

For now, if you're looking for a hard and irrevocable mind fuck (!), get into Mulholland Drive.

#mulholland drive #david lynch #movie review #film #spoiler #movie spoilers

[scary-white]

So lately I've been obsessing over the idea of an especially fucked up, deranged Carrie. Where after the shower incident she starts experiencing dissent into insanity, and the horror levels skyrocket. Bear with me, because this is going to be a pretty long outline of an AU that I may or may not write.

So Carrie comes home from school and confronts Margaret about not telling her like she did in the book, but as Margaret shoving her into the closet, Carrie, already distraught with trauma and fear, and having just been beaten with a Bible and kicked around, screams "God, I wish you were dead!" Instead of "You fuck!" She doesn't really mean it, but as Margaret slams the door shut, her powers flex and kill stops Margaret's heart. The thing is, Carrie doesn't realize this had happened and all.

So she's stuck in the closet with that blue light that she hates and the frightening Christian imagery for days on end. Stuck in isolation, she starts going insane. Eventually the light goes out and she's kept in total darkness for three days and then she starts hearing voices that beg her to escape. Escape the closet, escape Mama, escape her life. She wasn't safe anymore. Maybe she'd never be safe again. She needs to escape. Somehow, she needs to defend herself.

Meanwhile, of course no adults comes to see where the hell Carrie's disappeared to for a week, because hello, this is Chaimberlain we're talking about.

Sue, though, does go looking for her. She felt bad about what she had done, and was waiting for Carrie to come back to school so she could apologize, but when a week comes and goes and no one's seen Carrie, she decides to say fuck it and she goes to the White bungalow.

When she gets there, the house is eerily quiet except for the sound of running water upstairs. She's immediately hit with the smell of death and decay and is horrified to find Margaret's corpse. Her horror grows when she sees the closet's door completely demolished with blood stains on it. Someone had forced their way out of there, and she's sure she knows who it was.

She goes upstairs to investigate, and the bathroom door is left open and the shower, previously never used, was running. She finds Carrie curled around her knees in the shower, muttering to herself. She tries to coax her out of the shower, but Carrie is too despondent. The water has long since run cold. So she pulls her out herself, and dresses her, the entire time feeling sicker and sicker as she realizes Carrie's been a victim of horrific abuse and everyone at school had just been adding to it.

She's about to call the cops when Carrie suddenly becomes lucid and disconnects the phone lines. Sue does not realize this was Carrie's doing. Carrie is cold and stand-offish when she speaks to her, and this is actually intriguing to Sue as she realizes that no one really even knows Carrie. It's a whole new side to her, and Sue realizes that Carrie isn't a pushover who doesn't bother to apply or defend herself, she just has a lot of shit going on and she has to pick her battles, and those battles are the ones she fights at home.

When she apologizes, Carrie barely even acknowledges it. Carrie tells her it's best that she leave and forget about all of this, but thanks her for helping her out. Sue leaves with a new resolve to befriend Carrie, and curiously, she's forgotten all about Margaret's corpse.

So she and Carrie grow closer, Carrie latching on maybe a little unhealthily to her. This pisses Chris off even more than Carrie going to prom, so she tries to sabotage the relationship and hurt Carrie, roping the rest of her friends in on it. But Carrie, going insane in the membrane™ picks off Tina, Norma, the sisters and then finally Chris. One by one.

Sue at first isn't sure what's going on, but as they grow closer and Carrie's mental state gets worse, she starts letting her thoughts slip over to Sue but Sue doesn't realize that these strange thoughts are coming from Carrie. Sensing that something is wrong with her, Sue invites her to prom with her and Tommy to try and cheer her up.

Carrie latches on to the idea of prom, and having taken out all the girls on top, she thinks that she ought to be prom queen. So she starts a campaign for prom queen without actually making posters or anything. Instead, she plants the idea of "Carrie White: Prom Queen" into everyone's minds and so when voting comes around, everyone votes for Carrie.

Well, Billy is still around, but Carrie doesn't know that. He knew about Chris's plan to hurt Carrie, and he was able to put two and two together when they all died suddenly and mysteriously after going to harass Carrie. He also knows about Carrie's plan to become prom queen. Everyone in town does, even if they don't fully realize it or know how they know. He's pissed that she killed his girlfriend, and plans to kill her, but not without humiliating her first, as that's what Chrissy would have wanted.

He sets up the buckets of blood, planning to first drench her and then let them loose so that they fall and hit her.

Carrie and Tommy are made prom king and queen, and are then subsequently drenched in blood and laughed at. The bucket comes down, but of course, it hits Tommy instead of Carrie. Sue tries to rush onto the stage, but Carrie sends her crashing into a wall. With Chris and all the other popular girls dead, all Carrie can believe is that SUE had been behind it. That their friendship had been a ruse. It doesn't make sense, of course, but Carrie is too fucked up in the head at this point to realize that.

It's at this point that Sue puts it all together and everything comes rushing back to her. She remembers Margaret's corpse and realizes that Carrie had done that. She remembers each one of the popular girl's deaths, and realizes that Carrie had killed them for trying to hurt her. She realizes that Carrie had tossed her across the room with her telekenesis, and she realizes that Carrie blames her. Sensing the impending danger, Sue gets the fuck out of there. She runs back to her house before the destruction of prom can begin.

After destroying the gym, Carrie begins walking towards Sue's house, distraught with perceived betrayal, she is determined to kill her. On her way there, Billy tries running her down with his car, and she kills him, never realizing he was the true culprit. She continues on her way.

This is where the inspiration for this AU comes in. In canon, Carrie is by no means JD from Heathers, and Sue is not Veronica. However, listening to "Yo Girl," all I can ever think about is a deranged Carrie breaking into Sue's house while Sue tries to keep her out. While not a Heathers AU, the AU is inspired by one song from Heathers.

So Carrie is coming to kill Sue, and is broadcasting her every move to Sue as she comes closer and closer. If ever written, it will be written differently to fit as Stephen King-esque prose, and duh, to not copy Heathers, but it will go a little something like this:

Guess whose right down the block? (Carrie, Carrie)

Guess who's climbing the stairs? (Carrie, Carrie)

Guess who's picking your lock? (Carrie, Carrie)

Times up go say your prayers! (he will burn you)

Suzie's running on, running on fumes now. Suzie's totally fried, Suzie's gotta be tripping on shrooms now, thinking that she can hide. Sue Snell's done for, there's no doubt now, notify next of kin! Suzie's trying to keep her out now,

Too late, she got in.

So Carrie breaks into Sue's house and is about to kill her when Sue is (pointlessly) holding a knife at her. She demands that Carrie look inside her and see that she had nothing to do with it. She only ever had pure intentions from the start.

She does, and when she realizes, the weight of the situation comes crashing down on too of her. She killed her mama, all those girls, had gotten Tommy killed in the cross fire, destroyed the prom, and had been about to kill her only friend, who she was sure had hated her now. Sue doesn't hate her, but she is very very afraid of her. She tells her this, but it doesn't stop the despair.

Remembering that "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live," Carrie takes up the knife that Sue had had and plunges it into her own chest. Sue tries to call for help, but again, Carrie has disconnected the phone lines, and her parents have gone out of town. They were alone.

She can do nothing but hold her and comfort her as she dies. Like in the novel, Sue really does not want a sneak preview of her own death, but she does not plead for Carrie to let her go. She cares too much for her to stop comforting her in her final moments.

When Carrie finally passes, she takes her body and gives her the best burial she can. She buries her in the woods, where she knows her grave will remain undisturbed. She would return with flowers frequently, even when years have gone by, and Sue has left Chaimberlain. She makes a pilgrimage each year on September 21st and leaves forget-me-nots at her grave.

#uh oh ive made everything worse #Carrie Stephen King #tw suicide #carrie #carrie white #carrie the musical #carrie 2002 #carrie 2013 #carrie 1976 #carrie fanfic #gen #ive never written a carrie fic that isn't fix it #so this would be a real change of theme if i did #but like thatd be iconic