#let men be mascul

[endusviolence]

Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

#transgender #trans history #transsexual #transphobia #Magnus Hirschfeld #holocaust #holocaust denial #book burning #j.k. rowling #jk rowling #just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :) #trans people have always existed #and we will always exist #if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit #queer history #queer #lgbt+ #lgbta+ #lgbt #lgbt history #edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month #also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it #it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs #and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had #also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2 #Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices #considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived

[autolenaphilia]

Transandrophobia isn’t real because misandry isn’t real. This is the basic truth of the matter.

The very structure of the word implies some kind of intersection of transphobia and misandry, which is impossible, because again misandry doesn’t exist. The phrase “transandrophobia” exists as a transmasc counterpart to transmisogyny, and it doesn’t work, because while misogyny is real, misandry/androphobia is not. The things that are described as “transandrophobia” which are actual instances of oppression are better explained as plain transphobia.

The antifeminism of transandrophobia theory

“Transandrophobia” theory often launders antifeminist concepts of misandry. Of course this is openly often denied. The defense is that transandrophobia doesn’t imply that misandry exists, but only describes transphobia directed at transmascs.

And it’s often disingenuous. I’ve come across numerous transandrophobia blogs that clearly believe in misandry. The very coiner of the word, says it’s caused by “the effects of irrational fears of masculinity and manhood“ (taking “androphobia” quite literally) which implies both the existence of misandry and also misogynistically dismissing women’s fears of men’s violence as irrational.

Of course they change the language around, using euphemisms for misandry. In fact transandrophobia is a clear evolution of the term “transmisandry.” Genderkoolaid and ey’s idea of “anti-masculism” that I criticized here is maybe the most obvious example of that on tumblr today.. The belief in some kind of systemic force that “negatively impacts men and masculine people on the basis of their manhood and/or masculinity.“ to quote genderkoolaid is as succinct a definition of misandry theory as any. And ey even outright admits that “antimasculism” is just another word for misandry. Other transandrophobia bloggers like the transunity blog outright use the word “misandry.”So for simplicity’s sake, I’m going to use “misandry” for whatever euphemisms transandrophobia people use, like “antimasculism”, “androphobia” or claims that “society hates men” or “there is a widespread irrational fear of men and masculinity.”

The use of feminist language like “patriarchy” common among transandrophobia people is either severely confused or outright dishonest. It’s a symptom of the terrible understanding of feminism on this site, as I lamented before. Patriarchy as a term that inherently implies male privilege, men are privileged for being men, not disadvantaged. Claiming the patriarchy oppresses men on the basis of their gender is a contradiction in terms. And belief in misandry is inherently misogynistic and anti-feminist.

How terms for systemic oppression actually work

Let’s however assume that the word “transandrophobia” just means “transphobia aimed at transmascs.” Then I don’t see why this word needs to exist. It contradicts most academic work on systemic oppression. New terms are generally not made just to describe “specific experiences of an oppression”. Instead they are created to describe meaningful intersections of different forms of oppression. Often these are intersections with misogyny, because that particular oppression affects about half the population. So misogynynoir describes an intersection of anti-blackness/racism and misogyny that black women experience, and lesbophobia describes an intersection of homophobia and misogyny that lesbians experience. And transmisogyny describes an intersection of misogyny and transphobia that trans women and transfems experience.

The lesbophobia example is especially pertinent to this discussion. The homophobia that gay men experience is often distinct from that lesbians experience, and homophobia against gay men is no minor prejudice, gay men have literally been murdered for being gay. Yet there is no “homoandrophobia” (to borrow an argument from this post by catgirlforeskin) and that’s because misandry/androphobia isn’t real. Men experience systemic oppression differently from women experiencing the same oppression, but that’s because of the absence of misogyny, not the existence of any misandry.

So a word like transandrophobia does imply an intersection between “androphobia/misandry”and transphobia. Otherwise it doesn’t have much reason to exist.

Misandry must affect all men in order to exist

I have seen claims that while “cis misandry” doesn’t exist, trans men and transmasc people are in fact oppressed for being men or masculine. And that’s how transandrophobia works

.

But that’s just transphobia. Misandry can only be real if it affects all men. Misogyny is a viable term because all women are oppressed for being women, even if they can also be privileged because of things like being cis, wealthy or white which balances out their oppression for being women (intersectionality is complex). I wouldn’t claim misogyny was real if it only affected a subset of women.

You can’t claim that men are oppressed for being men or being masculine, that it is some stigmatized gender or gender expression, when being a man and specifically a masculine man is what is expected of about half the population, and in fact men gain privilege for the successful performance of masculinity.

It’s true that trans men and other transmascs are systemically oppressed, and do indeed experience severe pushback if they express their manhood or try to transition in a transmasculine direction. But that’s because they are trans. Transfems experience a similar oppression for expressing their womanhood or trying to transition in transfeminine direction. That’s why the word transphobia exists.

Let’s make an example of a common bit of rhetoric among transandrophobia people, and see how it is all explained entirely by transphobia. Transandrophobia people talk about some general “hatred of testosterone” as part of transandrophobia, often dishonestly conflating transfems expressing their dysphoria with transphobic rhetoric about how testosterone ruins transmasc bodies.

But any idea about society hating testosterone fail to account for why the testosterone flowing through bodies deemed naturally male is seen as okay. In fact being “high-t” is seen as a positive in a man. It’s not even a prejudice against medical testosterone, being “low-t” is a fad disorder that cis men can easily get testosterone prescriptions for. And trying to lower your “natural testosterone” levels is something that’s actively hindered and gatekept, something I’ve experienced. I waited three years to get on t-blockers due to medical gatekeeping. In my country Sweden getting your balls removed legally and thus permanently lower your t-levels is something you have to petition the government for, something I’m trying to do.

Any kind of theorizing about a misandristic hatred of testosterone can’t explain this. It’s only so-called “cross-sex hormones” that are seen as bad, not testosterone in itself. And this is entirely explained by transphobia, not misandry.

It’s of course true that men are oppressed, but it’s never on the basis of being men. People who try to argue for misandry often use (often appropriatively) the struggles of oppressed men and try to argue they are oppressed because they are men. And transandrophobia theory is no different.

“Deserving a word”

The attitude among the transmascs who support transandrophobia theory seems to be “transfems have transmisogyny to describe their oppression, we deserve a word too.” Except again, transfems don’t have the term transmisogyny because we are very special girls who need a special word for our oppression, it exists because it describes the intersection of misogyny and transphobia we experience. It exists for the same reason as lesbophobia does, to describe an intersection between misogyny and another oppression. Gay men are not disadvantaged compared to lesbians because they “only” have the more general term “homophobia” while lesbians have the more specific word “lesbophobia.” And I don’t think transmascs would be disadvantaged if nobody accepted transandrophobia as a tern for their experiences.

You don’t need a specific word to talk about your experiences with transphobia, just as gay men don’t need a world like lesbophobia to talk about their experiences with homophobia. You can just talk about them, and use the word “transphobia” as a label for it.

And sometimes acknowledging that our experiences of oppression can be similar is useful for solidarity and community building. All trans people are negatively affected by transphobia, and that is the real “transunity.” theory.

Don’t end up like nothorses who once unironically listed “Misgendering over the phone,“ as an example of transandrophobia/transphobia only affecting transmascs.

Words exist in a context

Transandrophobia clearly exists as some transmasc counterpart to the transfem transmisogyny. It was even more obvious when the word was “transmisandry.” Words always exist in a context, and is often built by binaries. How someone who believes it defines transandrophobia does say a lot about how they define transmisogyny.

I’ve already described how if transandrophobia merely means “transmascs specific experiences with transphobia” it doesn’t have much reason to exist. But it also by implication diminishes and reduces transmisogyny. If transandrophobia only means “the transphobia experienced by transmasculine people”, transmisogyny is reduced by implication to only meaning “transphobia experienced by transfeminine people.” It’s another symptom of how tumblr discourse is uninterested in acknowledging misogyny, and in this case that misogyny is intersecting with transphobia in transmisogyny.

And well, if transmisogyny means “an intersection between transphobia and misogyny experienced by transfems” it does imply that transandrophobia also should describe an intersection, for why else does it exist. And we are back to it describing an imaginary intersection between transphobia and misandry, a misogynistic and antifeminist idea.

Who gets to define their own oppression?

Of course I am a trans woman, and I will of course get accused of hating transmascs, and robbing them of their ability to define their own oppression.

I would be more sympathetic to this argument, if transandrophobia theorists didn’t keep on constantly defining transmisogyny as the result of misandry. It is common in these circles for transmascs to reject any tme/tma distinction too. Literally going “I got mistaken for a trans woman once, that means I’m affected by transmisogyny.” There is absolutely zero respecting transfems rights to define their own oppression in transandrophobia circles, so why should I respect theirs?

Seriously, the “transmisogyny is actually misandry” claim just keeps happening. Genderkoolaid did it, the transunity blog too, and this dude who I literally found by browsing the “transmisogyny” tag spewing his misandry nonsense.

The problem with “transmisogyny is misandry, actually” is that misandry isn’t real, men are privileged for being men. Transfems experience oppression because we reject being men and performing masculinity. Men are in fact our oppressor class. When transmisogynists talk derisively about “men who wear dresses and say they are women”, they aren’t saying that being a man is bad (in fact they are often men themselves), it’s that “being amab and rejecting masculinity and manhood and claiming to be a woman is bad.” Its an intersection of transphobia and misogyny.

“Transandrophobia” is seldom just talking about the difficulties of being transmasc, it wants to redefine how transfems think about their oppression as well. And it does so in misgendering and transmisogynistic ways.

The transandrophobia theorists generally ignore the existence of transmisogyny, especially in queer communities. In fact it often implies or outright states that transfems are privileged in the trans/queer communities for being women or feminine, which is bizarre. In reality, Transmisogyny is rife in queer spaces, with “crazy trans woman syndrome” being common.

And it’s not like transandrophobia discourse is immune to that particular syndrome. Transmisogyny-exempt privilege dynamics remain very much in play. Transfems tend to get accused of being transandrophobic. The accusations are framed as “lateral aggression” not oppression, although the tone of these posts suggests “lateral aggression” is another polite euphemism word swap game like misandry for “androphobia.”

It feels like the antifeminist, and specifically anti-transfeminist roots of the whole transandrophobia idea coming to the forefront.

#my writings #transmisogyny #misandry is not real

[fumikomiyasaki]

OC Families Part 1

All of these images are made in picrew... I didn't do all of my ocs yet but I shared a ton of these on Discord... so I will share them here too. However keep in mind I might share less info than there cause some of it is... sensitive content. I will still mention some more abusive parents too so keep that in mind. Leroy, Henry and Mellows are already here... with that said lets start.

Matthew and Yunora Atsuki

Parents of Lyla and Eikichi Atsuki, Dad was a scientist, mom was a Jazz singer and both inspired their children a lot on their kids... they were proud parents however also quite busy hence why their kids grew up becoming such scaredy cats not haveing their guidance... but at least they had their love.

Aurelia and Reginald Parton

Parents of Barry and Paula, Reginald Parton is one of the most influencial and Rich men in the world while Aurelia his wife only really married him for his money... both are the reason why Barry was forced into this terrible view of not being able to live out other sexualities, having this toxic masculity and because they surpressed so much... Paula also left them to pursue herself and not be chained down anymore... Barry just wants their praise and love but... they even deem him replacable as an heir if he makes them too much trouble.

Joseph Dalton

Joseph Dalton…. there is a reason Francine takes care of her siblings… he tries hard to work multiple jobs to provide his family but… trauma still hits deep…. he often looks tired, barely smiles… Francine worries about him a lot, he is also still kinda trapped in this friendship with Mr parton who often uses their old bond to guilttrip him.

Nozomi and Tetsuya Aimon

Nozomi and Tetsuya Aimon… Parents of Yasuno and Yuzuha… Basically Tetsuya was a well off dad with money who at least was kind to his sons and worked hard day and night to provide his sons but was a pushover…their mom used that to just stay home, enjoy the lifestyle, not care about her sons and cheat on her husband a lot…. if the boys noticed they were usually threatned with violence not to tell on their father….

After Yasunos death… Tetsuya finally noticed the machinations of his wife and wanted to take Yuzuha with him to live alone… which is where they are now… Yuzuha however knew from his mom how to get the money needed to survive… hence his career choice as well. Yasuno after Revival changed his name to Innochi so his parents can't find him not knowing what happened and Yuzuha… well dad is now very done with his body and has troubles to keep on too.

Kaiyo and Hiroshi Suzanomoto

Parents of Kaeru, Kaiyo may be small but she still managed to have 5 kids with Kaeru being the oldest of them keeping the Legacy to the fishing business… Hiroshi is still going out fishing with his kids while Kaiyo often plays around with dishes or guides people around the city. Their family in general is very huge and infamously known everywhere cause of their kindness.

Vierunar Family

Atmos and Nephy Vierunar, Fabios parents kinda seem gruff and intimidating yet are genuine sweethearts who want thei kids to live to the fullest. They even approved of his situation as he actually wanted to leave the village in canon. Atmos is a healer while Nephy is a guardian for their Village... and they had Several kids:

Janic, Julie, June, Marton and Sebby, Fabios dearest siblings who work hard to still tend to the village and continue the legacy of the forrests will.

Louis Family that passed

Clementine and Remy Armarin... a sweet Noble pair that use their status to help many people in poverty to have a better life, they were proud of their vegetable garden as well as distributed some of it to the people who had troubles in town... however one day as Louis and Ava, his sister, went outside to play they came back to find their parents laying on the floor... lifeless and poisoned... since then Louis had to take care of Ava alone in this empty noble house that became abandoned after their parents death.

Ava Aminella Valentine was Louis little sister he held dearly... however it got harder and harder to take care of her with him being still to young to take on a job and tend to her sickness that developed... and one day as he went out to get her medicine... she was gone when he came back, left the house cause she wanted to repair a gift he made her a while ago and... the cold winter was to strong... as Louis found her she was dead... of hypothermia.

Carols family

Catherine Ann and Jonathan Ann are very much your standard married couple... Jonathan works in a Machine factory while Carols mom is a housewife who spends a lot of time sewing and knitting stuff as a hobby... her sister Megan ann is part of the Police force and is a reason Carol has a moral code that is high. In all she had a loving and sweet family if not a little overprotective.

#twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ocs #twst #disney twst #twst ocs #twistedwonderland #twistedwonderlandoc #lyla atsuki #eikichi atsuki #barry parton #paula parton #francine dalton #fabio vierunar #yuzuha aimon #yasuno innochi #kaeru suzanomoto #tw family death #carol ann

[green-lanterns-c0ck]

Reply by @sunmoonandarrows reading: "Asking for a superguy essay tho" End id.

You asked, very unprompted, and I deliever!

The thing about Guy and Clark is that, when it comes down to it, they're incredibly similar.

They both grew up as poor boys with stigmatized accents, they both have a pretty rural sense of masculity, they both left home to make something of themselves, worked their way through college. They both have powers most of the world doesn't understand, if you accept Warrior as canon, they're even both the last survivor of an alien species.

They're both confident men with a soft side who struggle with their temper sometimes - this especially obvious if you look at Guy before he gets his brain injury:

A comic panel showing Guy Gardner in a light blue suit. He has a normal haircut and looks like a man who has his life together. He's closing a briefcase.

He looks serious and determined and he says: "I'm glad. I've been working hard on being a "pussycat". Working on channeling my agression... channeling it into helping you, for instance." End id.

Doesn't this Guy remind you of Clark Kent?

They can also both be arrogant sometimes.

Panel showing Superman smashing through a table feet first. He's smirking and says: "Hi, guys... Don't you think it was just a tad foolish robbing a charity event where I was a guest speaker?" End id.

Doesn't this Superman remind you of Guy?

They also both care incredibly deeply. Clark cares, obviously, that's his whole thing - but so does Guy. He may bitch about it, but if you're on a team with Guy, or just in his orbit and he hears you need help, or thinks you need help, by god, will he move heaven and earth for you. Even if you never asked for it and will never thank him for it.

Guy hears Hal's in trouble and calls him a weakling as he goes to look for him, and Hal asks why he had to come along.

Ted dies and Guy goes and tears the world apart to look for him, and Ted never even finds out.

Superman dies and Guy goes and fights the Erradicator to protect his legacy.

(Guy dies and he doesn't even get a funeral.)

Now, let's look at the details.

Guy and Clark both grew up relatively poor, but Guy grew up in a city and Clark in the country.

Clark has wonderful parents, is part of the community and accepted and loved. He plays football well enough to be the star of his school and almost gets picked up for the pros - except he's only that good because of his superpowers, so playing sports is unfair and he has to stop. He finishes school with amazing grades and chooses to move away from home with the full support of his parents to self-actualize.

Guy had a brother he was constantly pitted against, a father who hated him and a mother who only cares as long as she can use him. He's in a bad and underfunded school, works hard for good grades so he can get a single scrap of affection from his dad and gets shot down. He doesn't finish high school, gets involved in juvenile criminality. He doesn't have friends in his childhood that are important enough to get mentioned in any of his comics. His brother beats him up and gives him 60 bucks, and that's the most help Guy ever gets.

He gets shitty jobs in restaurants and works through the night to finish his GED, gets into college on a sports scholarship. His family doesn't care.

He moves out after his brother kills himself and doesn't see his family again for decades.

Clark's parents offer to help pay for his college. Clark doesn't take the offer because he wants to be self-sufficent. He gets a job in a restaurant and uses his superpowers to make it easier on himself. He's late for his college admission test and uses his superpowers to complete it in time. He makes friends with his coworkers, even dating one of them for a while. He calls his parents often, visits them multiple times a year.

He helps people because he cares and he has the power and he can't chose not to help - that's not how his parents raised him. When he gets overwhelmed by the public response to him, who almost worship him like a god at first sight, he goes home to his parents and they help him become Superman, so he can keep his true self seperate from the world.

He gets his first job by bringing in a story on himself. His boss sees him like a son, everyone in the office likes him, even if they don't know him that well, can't know him that well.

Guy plays football in college. He's good enough to get picked up for the pros, but gets hurt and has to quit after losing his temper. He works very hard on himself to become better, to be calmer, to control himself. He gets a job councling prisoners to help people who struggle like he did. He gets a job as a gym teacher to help disabled and disadvantaged kids. He tries to help Hal by taking over as Green Lantern for a day when Hal needs him, after meeting him once, and lands in a coma for six years after a brain injury.

He gets hand picked to be a Green Lantern to do a specific job - but turns out that would've destroyed the universe. Oops. Hal wants him depowered and imprisoned, but he gets put under house arrest instead. The entire corps hates him. Is some of that his fault? Sure, he did team up to kill Hal with some villains. That's bad.

But... Guy has worked so hard to get where he was in life before Hal came along. Sure, it wasn't Hal's intention to hurt him, but he *did*. He ruined Guy's life and Guy is justified in being upset at him.

No one cares though. Everyone Guy meets hates him on sight, because he's loud (controlling your volume is difficult for many neurodivergent people), he's rude (he doesn't have a filter anymore and everything he says gets interpreted in the worst way possible), he's aggresive and bad tempered (he worked *so hard* to unlearn it, to control himself, and now it's all gone, destroyed in a single moment that lasted six years). He builds walls up around himself, several meters thick, pretends to care for no one and nothing but himself. (No one else will.) (The last person he opened himself up to says she doesn't even recognize him anymore.) (When he's forced to be open and vulnerable, there's only one person who doesn't think it's funny that he has feelings.)

Superman goes through a lot. He has villains that mess with his head, he finds out his entire hometown got possessed by aliens who want to kill him, he's forced to kill the only other Kryptonians he ever met for destroying Earth in a pocket universe. He doesn't have it easy, but at the end of the day, Superman goes home to Clark's parents and friends and knows they will always be there for him.

Who is Guy Gardner, apart from Green Lantern? He doesn't have a family. He doesn't have a life - he was in a coma for six years, is he supposed to go to his old school and ask them to rehire him, even though he has a permanent disability now that makes it almost impossible for him to work with children daily? Is he supposed to try going into councling while he's too disturbed to function in his own life? They only family he had was Kari, who says she doesn't know him anymore.

He doesn't have any support network outside the League and even that is... he barely has a support network in the League. He has Tora. He has himself. He has no one else.

And he's still so good. When Guy gets his yellow ring, everyone's worried about what he's gonna do now - Unlimited power and no oversight! He could do anything! Become the villain they half think he is already! - and all Guy does is... do exactly the same thing as before, because he's good to his core. He doesn't want to rule the world, or become rich by stealing diamonds, or even do petty crime, really. He just wants to help and be loved and respected.

Like Superman.

Superman, who has it all - Everyone respects him, thinks well of him, is friends with him. People think the world of him! And well... so does Guy.

Guy says he doesn't care for him, but every other time they interact Guy makes a comment about how strong and powerful Superman is, even if he's saying it ironically. Why do you think about how strong Superman is so much, Guy. Do you want him to pick you up in his strong arms, Guy.

One of Guy's first meetings with Superman was during the Invasion! event, where Earth got invaded by a bunch of aliens. During the second part of the Invasion, Superman leads a group of heroes, including Guy, to retake Australia from the aliens. After that, Clark goes home to Metropolis and finds out he had been sleepwalking through Metropolis as the violent hero/anti-villain Gangbuster because Brainiac messed with his mind.

Clark has a small breakdown and decides to leave Earth forever. While the invasion is still going on. He runs into a group of heroes, including Guy, in space and comes with them to fight the invadors on their turf. Guy is... a tiny bit upset about it.

A comic panel showing Superman, Green Lanterns Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner, and the Martian Manhunter floating in space.

Superman says: "But I can't - won't - set foot on Earth again."

Guy yells: "Won't?! There are good people dying down there while you're joyriding through space! Why, you son of a -"

Hal and J'onn both call out "Guy!" to cut him off. End id.

I like to believe that half of Guy's anger at Clark comes from his disappointment in him. There's not much in canon to back that up, but I love the idea of Guy being disillusioned with Superman after seeing him run from Earth during the Invasion for no reason he could see.

But he still thinks very highly of him. This is gets very clear after Doomsday, where Guy honestly and sincerely grieves for Superman.

Four panels showing Guy looking down at a group of heroes all grieving Superman. Ice has built an ice statue of Clark.

Guy thinks: "Cut me with a knife, why don't you, Ice? Humph. We sure had our tussles, Blue. You were the world's ultimate boy scout - the kind of guy who embodies fairness and justice. Me, I'm a rouge... But that don't mean I can't see the truth."

Guy uses his ring to reach for a wristband with superman's symbol on it and puts it on.

He thinks: "Doomsday caved my head in, Blue, but you took him down. You won. Guess I can wear this for the service to honor that." End id.

He even goes to fight the Erradicator for his honor, and look at him once he becomes convinced he's really Clark!

Panel showing Guy Gardner, who says: "No lie, Blue - I thought we'd seen the last of you, after Doomsday! It's good to have you back, kicking butt! You really did a number on these creeps! I never knew you had it in you. I meam, you never used to be so... I dunno, aggressive? Were you holding back all those years?" End id.

There's a part of Guy that adores Superman, unabashedly.

There's also a part of Guy that hates Superman to death. There's a bigger part that is so jealous of him, and everything he has. Superman is everything Guy wants to be, but never will.

Well.

Unless their lives were different.

Because Clark has a dark side. He's not the perfect and strong inhuman being he pretends to be as Superman. He's good, sure, incredibly good and caring, the same way Guy is. But he does have a dark side. He struggles with his anger, with his powers, with his choices. He's so incredibly human.

And who would he be if his parents were like Guy's? If his life had been like Guy's?

Let's talk about Clark's dark side.

Gangbuster as Clark's alter ego is a violent, angry vigilante. He doesn't kill, but he does hurt people unproportionally. Clark isn't conciously aware of him for a long time - he was created when Brainiac tried to take over Clark's mind and Clark chose to show him his dark side to kick him out.

He gets compared to Batman a lot in story, but he's also a lot like Guy.

I've mentioned Clark's arrogant streak before, and that one goes even further sometimes. Clark thinks he's in the right a lot. This is because he often is in the right, but it can also make him very stubborn and heard headed, and even unsympathetic at times. This is something he mostly grows out of, but he never quite loses it completely - and if his parents were worse people, well... who's to say he wouldn't get worse?

Clark has a pretty good grip on his anger, most of the time, but he does have a temper and he loses it every once in a while. He loses it often at Guy, specifically.

Guy loves to needle Clark, trying to get under his skin - and it does work. Quite often, really, compared to other characters. Guy even manages to get Clark to start a fistfight with him in the streets. Guy brings out the side of Clark he tries to keep under control so hard every second of his life and I think that's good for him.

(Clark needs to be a little feral and fucked up. It fixes him.)

But I firmly believe that, if Clark had parents like Guy, he'd have turned out like Guy. They are the same, mirroring each other darkly, two sides of the same coin. Clark looks at Guy and thinks, Would I have been like him, if my life had been different. If my parents were worse, if my powers had come later -

Guy looks at Clark and thinks, If I had had my powers sooner, I'd have run to a new city and built a life like his for me, If my parents had loved me like his love him -

They are the same.

They also both have reasons to be jealous at each other - I think I've covered Guy enough, but Clark wants to be human so bad. He wants to be human and he wants to be normal, and he wants to be able to be free and out of control and not be scared to hurt people, always, to be able to just walk through life and be rude and short and have that be fine, like Guy does. He wants to be human, like Guy. And he can't be.

Except Guy isn't anymore human than he is, and Clark doesn't have as many friends as Guy thinks, and they are the same. They belong together. They are so good together. World's finest WHO?

Guy did also somehow manage to become one of the closer heroes to Clark, in the 90s. This is in part because of retcons distancing Clark from the original Leaguers in a way he wasn't before, and also because Post-Crisis Clark is just... kind of a loner?

He's friendly with everyone except a few people, but he doesn't really have many friends, especially not heroes. Batman is his friend, but they don't really hang out together anymore, and things are tense between them.

Diana is his friend again, and they do hang out sometimes. (Diana is also Guy's friend.)

No one really knows his secret identity anymore. People put him on a pedastol, and Clark lets them because getting close to them, actually close to them, would require letting Clark bleed through into Superman and be vulnerable with people on that level and Superman doesn't do that.

Clark makes friends and loves people. Superman is... untouchable and unreal. He's an act. (This is why it was so important to Clark that Lois loves him as Clark and not as Superman.)

Guy turns up in a few Superman stories though, even if he really doesn't have to. One time, Clark has magic/sci-fi induces nightmare visions of a version of his life where he's gone evil and hurt everyone he cares about. He accidentally kills Lois, for example.

And... he accidentally kills Guy.

Clark cares about Guy, more at eleven.

When Clark's on the League, Guy is one of the people he interacts with most - part of this is because Guy can't ever shut up, but still.

After Clark comes back to life, Guy asks him if he'll come back to the League.

Comic panel showing Guy talking to Superman while Maxima flies away in the background.

Guy says: "Big words, Supes. Does this mean you're coming back to the JLA?"

Superman replies: "Not yet, Gardner. But if you ever need me... just call."

Clark and Lois go on a christmas date in Warriors one time, too.

When Guy struggles with his new alien ancestry, he goes to Clark for help.

When Guy dies and is trapped in hell, he orchestrates a plan that involves Clark coming to help him. And then he takes him on a beach date to yell at him.

Panel showing Superman and Guy Gardner as Warrior talking on a beach. Superman is wearing just his red underwear and belt while Guy is in cargo shorts.

Guy says: "Until you mess up again, of course."

Clark says: "This isn't over."

Guy replies: "It never is for guy's like us. Here's to kicking your butt again soon. Hey, and one more thing - enough with all this moping and being worried about Zod and psycho lizards and whine whine whine! You're Superman! Act like it!" End id.

Your honor. They care about each other. And I love them.

#green lantern #guy gardner #superman #clark kent #superguy #dc comics #meta #essay #i will make this ship a thing by my very own so help me god #thank you for asking for this. I love to ramble #They. #also love that I managed to end on them #them boo. them booberinos #not proofread

[samithemunchkin]

no there’s quite literally four of us bestie. this app is just so sensitive even if you even speak against the majority publicly all hell rains down on you. you say for one second not every character is gay and you get burned at the stake for it while you faggots get to spew misogynistic comments towards women and get the excuse of “queerness”. i’m so over the way women in the fandom are treated in this fandom and how gays get an excuse. no fucking more.

these MILITARY men aren’t gay, they are war criminals. there’s a reason trannys and fags don’t serve in the military. how dare you call it military propaganda and let de-masculinise real men for your sick fantasies?????

Aren't you burning me at the stake right now just for liking to think they are all queer?

But how am I misogynistic??? I keep saying I'm queer, I don't got no penis, I'm nonbinary, my OC was female until a very short while ago when I wanted them to be nonbinary too.

And I've not de-masculized anyone jesus fucking christ, men and women can wear and dress up as whatever the fuck and still very much be female or male.

Ugh I'm too tired to argue with you this much today dry anal wipe, blah blah ill go die in faggot hell or whatever, none of this is going to stop me from creating whatever the hell I want

[itsaventingmachine]

I’m crying I did a writing exercise in señor sem to flush out the questions we want to answer and someone was like “hey you can scan these pages in from ur phone!” But apparently my handwriting is unrecognizable to the AI eye because I copied this

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#herman melville #I was crying wth my friend during the 10 min brea #wheezing #idk what’s my fav #why dirt #they stay inside? #What? Advirtise? #e love adventure #what more? #ok idk what *what madness daws them* neans but boy it slaps #divine rags at meon? #just a plethora of potential nenes bro

[notmycatsname]

I think a lot about r/s both being gnc men or maybe nonbinary men and one of them is figuring it out very cognitively and thoughtfully and talking to older queers and reading and researching and the other is just like...throwing spaghetti at the wall, wearing skirts one day and suits the next and growing their hair out and growing a beard and doesn't feel comfortable taking labels.

#not sure who is who thi #also me and my wife #she played a lot with gender expression #beard and skirts and smooth skin and suits #painted nails and pants at our wedding #and ive never felt like i deserved to be anything other than Gender Weird cis adjacdnt #thank yoy mother mother for verbatim #r/s #let men be mascul #i get taken out by a sniper

[candicoated]

Whether it be Serena Williams, Meghan thee Stallion, or former first lady Michelle Obama some of y'all can't let black women be feminine or even women. It's so frustrating, even transphobic to invalidate a women's femininity whether she born into that or transitioned that way. I'm tired. The amount of jokes I have seen about these women being men for years now, or masculizing and dehumanizing them is disgusting. There has been a history of constantly degrading black women whether it be for their skin color or their feminine features. Even when comes to little girls it is shown that black girls cared for less or nurtured less compared to white counterparts. Black women end up either being sexualized at a younger age and even compared to men or dehumanize when they get older.

#vent #rant #michelle obama #respect women #respect black women #black lives matter #black history month #black tumblr #blacklivesmatter #black lives movement #megan thee stallion #serena williams #venus williams #end racism #im tired yall #black community #trans rights #poc lgbt blogger #love wins #liberal feminism #everyday feminism #colorism

[nightswithkookmin]

Goldy,

Kind of off topic, but a little on topic. Have you seen the band Maneskin from Italy? They won 2021 Eurovision Song Contest. Beautiful, beautiful people.

I have no idea of their sexual orientation or preferences, but they wear a lot of makeup on and off stage , and smooch on each other a lot on stage. Nobody bats an eye. They are a Metal band and they dress accordingly. I wish that everyone around the world was as accepting as all their fans are. They are super androgynous as well and they are SEXY as hell

Their charm and sexuality is so fluid and just so natural. They are who they are and they are beautiful and fun to watch. Their comfort with each other is how I wish ALL of us would be

Rock bands rock period

I wonder what they look like in brand ads. I wonder if they are given or are required to have a much tamer look with little to no rings and funky clothing or hoop earrings you can barely see.

Where are the dangly chrome earrings?! WHERE ARE THEY?!🤺

I like my BTS the way they are. It's what I bought in. I want to see men in corsets, waist snatched, dark eyeliners selling alcohol to men. Is that too much to ask?! Is it?!😒

This is what happens when they treat queerness as aesthetics and have no qualms drawing on- if not appropriate- gay culture and lifestyle. Y'all just ditch it for your hyper heteromasculinity whenever y'all want😒

Their ability to divorce themselves completly from certain looks at certain times is what gives me whiplash. When that happens, it creates the impression queerness is just a look, gender fluidity is not real and establishes traditional definitions of masculinity as the norm. You do not have to 'look like a man' to sell alcohol 🤺

I was literally waiting for this Kloud, Klout beer ad to drop ever since Winter Package at the end of last year because we all know what most people think about Alcohol and men. I was curious to how how BTS would market to men as compared to women and teens. I feel there is so much room for them to break norms and set new trends in the advertising world. I'm disappointed so far.

For contrast, look at how they look selling a nonachoholic beverage as compared to how they look selling alcohol. Can I weep? Can I?! See how they look like they just stepped off a set for a music video? They look like themselves. Their everyday selves but you look on your left and it's like huh??????

And in case the message and intent is not clear, here is a photo of different models modeling for the same brand.

Their girls look like "girls" and their boys look like "boys." I'd say BTS in those ads look much more similar to the male model here in terms of looks- that clear cut box labeled men- which to me is a problem.

I'm sorry but this is just lazy advertisement. Nothing at all ground breaking. The models look great. Taehyung looks tasty, heteromasculine and perfect.

I feel used to male oriented brands breaking boundaries and participating in the gender discourse in recent times I think my expectations for BTS on this topic in advertisement was this high.

If heteromasculinity is all y'all can tap into to sell a can of drink I'm sorry but that's misogynistic and sexist and homophobic.

If Jimin or any of these boys come out a few years down the lane in another documentary to say these kinds of shit affected them in any way I AM STARTING WORLD WAR III.

I'm tired of seeing Jimin and other Asian men be emasculated and treated as if they aren't men enough just because they look to them 'feminine.' You don't have to fix their masculinity or tweak it to suit your idea and ideals of masculinity. There's no one way of being man.

Don't get me started on the desexualization of Asian men and it's subsequent effects on Asian men. You hear Asian men are not sexy, they do not sell the fantasy, they are not this, they are not that blah blah blah and yet we sit here and wonder why someone like JK, who had probably internalized that shit, would say he wants to be seen as sexy too and perform sexy choreos and shit.

And no, it's not an American Asian problem, it's a global Asian problem. BTS are on the world's stage being socialized by the global community and they do face almost every microaggression prevalent within the regional communities. It's the American's take on them, Canada, UK, Africa, Asia, Europe, all of them. Everyone is projecting on to them their ideals and understanding of gender and who they should be. Did we not see BTS BIOT trending from the Philippines lately? Gay because WHY???? They wear make up and earrings and love androgynous?

Naa, I'm actually getting gassed the more I think about it🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

The notion that Asians aren't sexy sits on the opposite end of 'Asians are too soft and good looking they are not masculine' all on the something is inherently wrong with Asian men spectrum.

I keep saying Jikook are the two members who've faced and have perhaps had to defend their masculinities the most- from BTS themselves effeminating JK and always bringing his masculinity to question- you know they once said JK is the most feminine within the group? I think so too but that's besides the point chilee.

Then for Jimin, he's always been either over feminized or defeminized, masculated and treated as if his femininity is wrong and invalid. Didn't a certain Karmy call him a fake woman or something like that? It's almost the same microaggressions transfems and gay men steroetyped as bottoms recieve on a dialy basis in this shit hole we call planet. It's all so ghetto.

Ass holes like to masculate and invalidate fems and masculine femininity, it's appalling. And people like to gaslight and pretend these microaggressions cannot have Freudian effects on these people- he is too strong to be bullied, oh he worked so hard on himself he can't crack so easily, oh it's nothing they're just being sensitive, it was joke, they're reading too much into it, and my personal favorite- y'all are over analyzing when you point it out😌

Some people are legit serial gaslighters, they will gaslight you before you can say the Jay in Jesus.

As a black woman growing up in a community that view black women as strong and incapable of being mentally attacked and traumatized by certain experiences- black people don't get depression or mental health issues because they are black and they are strong- being masculated and defeminized on a dialy basis, I tell you- shit is torture.

All of this, and we sit here and wonder why Jimin wants to go to the gym and build muscles and blend in with the boys etc. Could be nothing, could be a response to the over feminization of Jimin, the emasculation or it could be he is internalizing some things. We will never know.

Personally, I feel JM is on the precipice of something and may be its something, may be its nothing but imma put my foot on these companies' neck and keep it there 🤓

Because it's not just about Jimin. It's about all the people who look up to him. All the people he has influence over. For every queer child who sees themselves in him and these men.

Any who. I think I've said everything I want to say on this topic. The weight on my chest is lifted. Asian men are sexy, their masculinity is VALID. Queer masculinity is valid too and they need to be inclusive of it. If you don't wanna include it leave BTS as they are. We get the representation as they are. Don't tweak them in y'all's brand campaigns. Don't fix Jimin's Jawline and make it more chiseled. HE IS PERFECT THE WAY HE IS.

Now please, let's talk about BigHit and the recent shipping agendas.😐

Signed,

GOLDY

[heliosthegriffin]

Arc-Acres: One 1/?

If there was one place in the world that Arthur Arc could say he felt safe after a long trip hunting, and comfortable in raising his many children, it would definitely be his home, though his father’s old farm was a very close second, may the old codger rest in peace.

It wasn’t too far away from Ansel, around thirty or so miles away, sitting a mile or so outside of the settlement of Pelican Town, a odd name for the town if not for the incredible number of birds.

He had grown up there during youth, after his father decided to move out of city when the Faunas started getting....

And way, he didn’t regret his youth spent out there, he still had some, well not friends there anymore he had spent far too much time away there for him to still be friends, but well acquaintances that he wouldn’t mind catch up with.

Which brought himself to his sunny boy’s room, he hardly got to spend time with his youngest for one reason or another, but he was presented with an unprecedented chance to connect with his son over the next three weeks.

Summer break had started and schools would be closed for the next couple months, his beloved wife and daughters had decided to visit Saphron and Terra along with some other distant relatives in Argus on a girls only trip, and leaving Arthur and Jaune alone for the rest of the month.

Arthur would not let the chance escape him, He liked to think of himself as fairly progressive, but Arthur didn’t like how much his son was taking after his wife and daughters, the dance lessons, gossip circles, and, ugh, dresses they put on him when he wasn’t around couldn’t be helping his boy out in the masculity department, and he had it on very good authority as the boys father that he wanted to be a manly man like himself.

So, Arthur had devised a devious plan the Dark Brother himself would be proud of! The next three weeks... Arthur would take his Sunny Boy camping, fishing, and roughin it in the wilderness around his dad’s old farm! It was fool proof!

His son would learn how to be a manly man, learn how to rough it in the woods, fend for himself, and hopefully, hopefully, learn to say no to be put in dresses!

Hehehehe, Arthur you, evil, evil genius!

He knocked on his son’s door with heavy, calloused hands. The sound echoing loud and clearly across his house’s hallways, there was no doubt that his son heard him.

“Jaune? You in there?”

Arthur honed ears stumbling from the inside of the room, along with something heavy falling on the floor. Likely his son, the boy could dance a mean dance, but he had two left feet more often than not.

“Coming!” His boy answered, his voice that awkward in between a boy and man, coming out shrill and high, but also noticeably deeper than it had been when Arthur last left for his trip.

Arthur tried his best to respect his son’s privacy, he got it invaded enough by his daughter, so he always made sure to let his Sunny Boy open the door.

The door opened into the room, his sun opening it with a smile.

“Welcome to Casa de Jaune!”

Arthur stifled a laugh and entered his son’s room. It was a little messy, but no more so than any of his daughters, a few clothes scattered around and some book and comics left out, but he didn’t expect it to shine either.

Arthur took a load off and sat down on the foot of his son’s bed, Jaune looked nevous as he did so, but he too took a seat on a chair he had in his room.

“Soo, Dad what brings you around?” His son said clearly nervous about something.

“Oh, you know just a father wanting to hang out with his son for a moment, maybe ask him a couple questions.”

His son seemed to go pale at that.

Arthur could practically see his son’s mouth go dry.

“Uh, uh, about what?” His son’s voice cracked.

Suddenly Arthur very much felt like an interrogator.

Did walk in during a private moment? He was around that age wasn’t he? 13 or 14, wait he was 13 and would be turning 14 in august. So, he was around the age where he might be surfing on websites that his mother would be mad about.

A sly grin on Arthur's face appeared.

He leaned his head to the side and tried to peer at his son’s computer. Tsk, no luck, no suspicious browsers open, besides a couple scroll tube video’s about...  Hunter training? Why, he would find any good result on there beside how to get in shape, most, well actually all hunter kept their training a mystery besides the basis of basic in order to avoid their weakness or deficits from be known. All hunter tried to have as unique a style as possible in order to avoid predictability.

Was that a video on swordplay?

Arthur’s hand glided behind himself, his senses noticing a suspicious weight on his son’s bed under the blankets.

His son tensed up as Arthur pulled out a wooden training sword, a cheap one two made of plywood.

Arthur choose to say nothing, it was an open secret what his sunny boy what to do for a living, a profession neither his mother, or sister approved of, one that if he supported would earn himself a noose around his balls and tossed off a tree, his wife's words not his.

He put the sword on his lap, and looked at his son who seemed both ashamed and embarrassed, Arthur took a deep breath and smiled.

“Ok, this is not what I wanted to talk about. Sooo, let’s move on, if you want to talk about it later that’s fine. We good?” He had never seen his son nod so fast. “So, here’s what I want to talk about.”

“I want us guys, to go have a men’s week or two out,” That was a lie, it would be most of a month, he just hadn’t thought of a better way to phrase it.  “I’m been thinking you and me don’t spend enough time together, so we need to have some father-son bonding. What do you think?” Also he already decided it, he wasn’t giving his son a choice.

Jaune’s face let up at the prospect.

“I think it sounds great! What are we going to do?”

Arthur explained to Jaune what he planned, with his son seemingly more excited at the survival element of it, but looked kinda bored at fishing and more mundane elements he talked about. Though the excitement never entirely left his son’s eyes.

“When are we leaving?” Jaune said jumping in his seat.

“Well, tomorrow if you’re up for it. If not, well leave the day after tomorrow on Friday.”

“I’m ready to leave tonight!”

“Heh, a little too soon Jaune. You got to pack, and so I, then we need to pack it into the truck.” “Oh, yeah. By, the way what do mom and the sisters think about it?”

Arthur went silent.

“You’re going tell them right?” “So, you’ll probably want to take this too.” Arthur said handing his son the practice sword, a hungry glint in his son’s eyes now. His son holding the wooden blade possessively.

“Yeah, I will. And you’re mother will definitely love to hear that we’re fixing up the old cabin, but couldn’t due to weather, right?”  “Yeah, it really sucks, right? Can’t believe the way back got blocked so we spent all our time visiting your friend in Patch.” “Yep, then we came home and started cleaning up the house, right?”

“Uh-huh, yep, mom is really going to appreciate some lemon-squares.”

“Making a barbecue should help her after all the air trips, too.”

“So, I better get packing.” “Me too.”

Arthur turned around one last time before leaving the room.

“Make sure to pack clothes that breathe, shorts, and couple work clothes. I think it wouldn’t hurt to actually fix up the cabin a little, if a storm actually does blow in.

“Can do!”

Arthur chuckled and left his son to pack.

-------

AN: End of Part One. I’ve been wanting to write this story for a while. Buckle in children, we’re going for a ride.

Also the first couple parts, and chapter or two will be mostly from Arthur’s perpective, mostly so we can speed through the prologueish area and get to Jaune doing stuff. This first chapter or two will be Jaune learning the basic skills he need for the fix, so when he does something it doesn’t come out of nowhere, and it’s an excuse to portray Jaune’s dad as something other than unsupportive.

#Jaune Arc #Jaune's Dad #Farmer Jaune #Stardew Valley Crossover #RWBY #Slowburn

[dragon-ball-meta]

Do you think the DB fandom have a huge problem with toxic masculity? From always shitting on Krillin to hating the new version of Bardock and Broly because they were "softened" to treating all the female character, even the underage ones like nothing more than fap fodder. Sometimes when I hear those opinions I can't but feel pity for those people.

Oh definitely. That’s not even up for discussion.

The fandom at large does not have a healthy grasp on masculinity. There are actually people who view Gohan having a daughter as a lack of it, for example, or think that Vegeta is an example of a “real” man, and they think Gohan and Krillin being happy family men is pathetic. Bardock not wanting to see his son dead (which... was in the Special too) means he’s soft. Broly not being a psychopath is ruining him as a character, and he’s viewed as “weaker” somehow despite being far and away stronger than he’s ever been depicted before because... of his trauma and possible developmental or maturity issues. This makes him “weak”, y’see. 

And as for the ladies... well... let’s be real, the series in various forms hasn’t been perfect there either, but STILL far and away better than the fandom at large has been.

Ugh. It gets so, so old.

(P.S. None of them know what courage is either.)

#Dragon Ball #Dragonball #Dragon Ball Z #Dragonball Z #DB #DBZ #Dragon Ball Super #DBS #Dragon Ball GT #DBGT #Krillin #Kuririn #Bardock #Broly #Gohan #Son Gohan #DBS Broly

[criptochecca]

so i am an agender transmasc individual but i dont particularly want to look masculine id like to get breast reduction but thats it i actually want to look more feminine than i already do and is that, like bad? wouldnt that just make me like cis lite? because i thought the purpose of transition was to look not like your assigned gender at birth but i just want to look more feminine, sorry if this is stupid i am pretty new to all this

its not stupid because a lot of mainstream transgender discussions (especially coming from truscum transmascs lets be real) involve the idea that to be trans you must adopt a stereotypical look associated with the gender you identify with. it is also a lil bit true in nonbinary circles but in a different way.

tbh all i can tell you is very simple: only you decide the way you present. im sorry to tell you that there will be people who will try to invalidate you and more often than not those people will be trans themselves. also being trans =/= transitioning and even transitioning doesn’t mean ending up masculing as a cafab person or feminine as a camab person cause there are trans men who take testosterone and are still feminine and trans women who take estrogen and are still masculine. 

What I can tell you is to not listen to people who try to policize the way you experience gender or your presentation and to find other trans people who will get you and support you.

if you wanna ask more questions my askbox is open :)

#Anonymous

[bloodys44]

Silence and Cigarette Smoke

-Original story and bonus content found here! ↓↓↓↓

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13289933/1/Silence-and-Cigarette-Smoke

Prolog pt. 2 - Meeting The Boy Who Smokes

785

Lucy's POV ~

When Lucy awoke for the second time, reality was a cold plunge from the warmth she had previously been enveloped in. The scorching heat that dripped off her skin was replaced with cold stark hospital sheets, folded and constricting over her delicate frame. The smell of antiseptic swarming her nose, fogging her senses. Her own limbs felt foreign to her body, weighted and disconnected. She gave her head a slight shake, attempting to put her thoughts into a coherent line before pushing her eyes to open. Fluttering lashes peeled back to reveal blistering white, bright and gleaming. She was in a hospital room of sorts. The area spacious yet cluttered, stacked with recognizable medical tools and equipment. Three more beds lined the wall to her left, neatly folded green sheets perched at their heads. Their equipped side table decorated with delicate assortments of flowers. To her right, a grand mosaic styled window, allowing rays of warmth to comfort her chilled skin. Most of her vision, however, was obstructed by a large pearlized sheet, hung limply on ceiling hooks. A rather hideous pattern embroidered over the fabric. Lucy let out a slight huff as she shifted her weight, squirming to peer around the offending curtain. Her eyes blowing wide when her strained neck allowed her to peer over the hem. Across from her were two figures, seemingly unknowing of her newfound consciousness. A woman, with her back turned towards her, hips swaying as she tended to the man perched on the gleaming countertop to her front. Her hands precise and trained as they cleaned and stitched his open wounds. The man, she recognized to be her saviour from the previous night. He looked relaxed, leaning his head against the tiled wall with his eyes closed. Even during her state of haze the evening prior she had thought he was beautiful, but looking at him now she was almost breathless. The mid-morning sun casting over him like a golden aura. The rich tan of his skin stretched over the spance of his bare chest. Pink tendrils crowned his scull obnoxiously, demanding some of her attention. His ears were lined with multiple gold piercings, a few hoops and studs littered across the cartilage in uneven numbers. The first and second holes at the bottom of his lobe matched, decorated with small golden dragon heads and smaller diamond studs respectively. Lucy had never seen a man like him before, pieced together so flawlessly. His features so strong and pronounced one would never be able to forget his face.

"You've really done a number on yourself this time Natsu." The woman finally spoke, her voice sweet, dripping with honey. She pulled away a step, her hands continuing to hover slightly over his chest. "Mira's going to pull such a fuss that you stitched some of these yourself, your handiwork is atrocious."

"Damn, and here I thought I'd be coming home to compliments." Natsu's face stretched into a wicked smirk as he spoke, an amusingly playful tone pouring from his throat. His eyes stretched open slowly, revealing deep rich obsidian. "Least I made it home in one piece."

The woman snorted, placing her hands on her hip."I suppose that could be considered an accomplishment for you." She shook her head lightly, stepping away from him to rummage through drawers. "What am I supposed to do when you come home in a multitude of pieces? I won't even know where to start."

This time Natsu snorted, leaning forward to remove his head from it's resting place. His long arm swung forward to loop around the woman's neck, stringing her into him with a noticeable force. "Ah Lissana, you worry too much. I'll always make it home to you." The woman giggled slightly, pushing up against his arm in a playful manner.

It was sweet really, their out front care for one another. Lucy couldn't help but feel she was spying, a dirty feeling pooling in the depths of her stomach. She leaned back slowly, only to freeze when her elbow connected with a glass that was apparently on her side table. In a swift movement, she tried to capture the glass between her fingertips before it shattered with an obnoxious clash. She most definitely had the other attention now. Nervously she glanced up, meeting their fixated gaze. They both looked a little stunned, eyes wide and gawking at her. "Oh, I wasn't expecting you to be awake so soon." The woman mused, tossing her head slightly to remove short tendrils of white from her view. She stepped away from Natsu, brushing his arm off her shoulder. She was a rather petite woman with a dainty exterior to match. Pale skin complimenting the blunt white locks that hugged at the edges of her skull. Her features were soft, melting into her face with refined opulence. And god, the most demanding electric blue eyes Lucy had ever seen. She looked almost whimsical, gliding across the tiles beneath her. Dressed in a light blue tunic that fell slightly past her full hips, a snowy cloak trailing over her shoulders. Pure crystallized beauty radiating off her skin. An unmatched goddess donated by the clouds themselves.

"W-who are you?" Lucy croaked, wincing at the crack that travelled down her throat. The uncertainty in her voice almost thick enough to peel away. The woman glanced up quickly, batting dark lashes that curled upwards towards her brow.

"My name's Lissana." She exhaled sweetly. "And yours?" Lucy simply shook her head, eyes never leaving their fixture on the woman. The panic thrumming through her blood was etching its way into her skin. She had enough people searching for her as it was, and with no actual knowledge about her current position, cautiousness was something she couldn't afford to overstep. "I suppose that's fair." She sighed in response. "Natsu-san said those awful royal guardsmen were giving you a fairly rough time." She tossed her head upwards softly, granting Lucy a kind smile. "I'm sorry you had to go through that... Those men really are despicable, taking advantage of a lady like that." Lucy nodded slowly, allowing her eyes to bounce back towards Natsu. He was staring burn holes into her skull. His expression firm and curious. She wanted to dive into his mind, unravel his thoughts and learn the story of the god-like man presented before her. She couldn't understand the magnetic pull towards him, why he stood out so much against the world. Her head was still throbbing and trying to focus on the persistent questions that were pouring from Lissana was such a hassle when all she wanted was to look at him. Lucy tried to refocus her mind, she looked back towards Lissana who gave her a sad smile when she realized Lucy hadn't been listening to any of her medical history questions. "Not to fret," She sputtered, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "Let's just start with how you're feeling?"

Lucy turned to her leg, attempting to roll the limb under the restricting sheets. It screamed at her, a pulsing shot knawing at her nerve endings. The pain in her leg was understandable, the spasm a constant reminder of her miss-step the previous evening. But what truly caught her off guard was her wrist. The revolting snap still fresh against her eardrums. And yet, it was completely fine. A simple bandage sealed her skin away from the light of day, but the immediate pain had subsided, leaving an ignorable dull ache. She held her arm up in front of her, examining her joint with concentration as she unwove the silky fabric binding it. She looked back at Lissana, who was staring patiently with a hopeful grin. "How long have I been asleep for?" She questioned instead of granting an answer. The miraculous healing of her wrist throbbing at the back of her mind.

"Only for a few hours actually, it's fairly surprising considering that forceful head injury you endured. Not to mention the amount of smoke you inhaled." A look of confusion overtook Lucy's features, her eyes darting downwards to her wrist. She lifted her limb softly, holding it out towards the snowy woman while gesturing towards it with a slight nod. Lissana smiled weakly, opening her mouth to answer before a loud screech wafted from the hallway.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE NATSU!?"

Lucy perked up instantly, keening onto the words that slipped through the gap of the doorframe. Lissana looked startled, gripping the edge of the bed while muttering under her breath. "WHY WOULD YOU BRING AN UN-REGISTERED MAGE HERE?!" The large wooden door that capped the far end of the room flung open, creaking hinges echoing down the hall. She found herself almost frustrated by the fact that everybody here seemed to be uncharacteristically good looking. The new figure rolling in on a chilled breeze. He was tall, lean and sculpted, the muscles rippling down his arms and over the plane of his stomach. Everything on show from his lack of shirt. Dark jeans strung casually over his defined hips by a flimsy belt, a black chain complete with a jewelled cross hung in the same manner around his pale neck. A structured 'V' definition peaking from above the metal clasp of his buckle. His face carried a grim but soothing expression. As if he was sweet yet unapproachable at the same time. A deep scar split the skin between his brow bone and the black hair crowning his head. He looked a little dishevelled, stunned at the three pairs of eyes now focusing solely on him.

"What was I supposed to do? Just leave her there with those filthy bastards to burn in the forest?! Fuck off you over masculated ice cube tray." Natsu retorted back, sliding himself off the counter.

"YOU BURNT DOWN A FOREST?!"

Natsu raised his brow slowly, moving to grab his previously discarded sweater off the far chair. "Not the whole forest dumbass, just most of section 8." He slid the black crew-styled sweater over his head, sliding it down his ridged abdomen mindful of his new stitches. "Would ya quit yelling, you're gonna wake the whole guild."

"The magic council's going to string you up alive when they hear about this." Natsu shrugged at the man, apparently unfazed at the mention of a council Lucy didn't even know existed. So they were all mages? It was strange, the way they spoke so openly about magic. It, being a taboo topic in their modern culture.

"I-I'm sorry... Did you say magic council?" Lucy half-whispered, curiosity getting the better of her. The two men almost jumped at her words, as if they were so focused on one another they forgot about the other woman in the room.

"Wait, is this her?" The second man muttered under his breath, casting a weary wide-eyed glance at Natsu who nodded casually. "Uh... Good morning?" He tried, looking slightly disgruntled about how he was supposed to approach the situation. Lucy gave him a confused expression which only seemed to make the newcomer more uncomfortable. "My name's Gray, and this," He swung his arm back to point beside him. "Is Natsu." She nodded slowly, her confused expression still on display. Gray looked uneasy, shifting his weight to his other foot. It was odd, his lack of confidence in the current situation, considering his brash reaction a few moments ago. He ran pale fingers through his dark locks slowly, eyeing her from head to foot. It was almost like he was sizing her up, seeing if she would leap out and bite him.

"God, you really have a way with a woman." Natsu mocked in a teasing manner. She almost had to hold back her own giggle, Lissana doing the same off to her right. Gray scowled at Natsu, deep cold eyes a contrast to the slight flush in his cheeks.

"It's not that it's just the matter of.." He paused, trying to string together a coherent sentence to ask her.

"I think brain freeze is trying to ask what type of user you are." Natsu finished, a creamy laugh following his words. Gray let out an exasperated sigh, nodding slowly in defeat.

She raised a brow, confusion painting her face. Lissana had now stopped her busy-work, listening intently with a pointed expression. Lucy felt like shrinking under all the scrutiny. It wasn't that she wasn't used to all the attention, just that their gaze was firm, boiling her blood with the intensity. Her lower lip began to tremble, biting it being the only way to stop its quiver. If these people knew of her enchanted blood already she was screwed. If these people really weren't mages, her beheading would be scheduled before the days light slipped past the horizon line. The laws of the land were firm, and those who opposed them were treated just as poorly as the ones born against them. She pulled her lip into her mouth harshly, sucking in a shaky breath and tried to muster her most confident expression. "I'm not a witch." She deadpanned, deciding blatant denial would probably serve her the best in this situation. "Why would you accuse me of such treason before you even knew my name?"

Natsu's face contorted, his pupils blown wide for emphasis. A scowl blooming over his expressive features. "What are you talking about? I knew you were a witch from the second I saw you." He leaned in closer, studying her with exact precision. Lucy's breath caught into her throat, letting her lip fall from between her teeth with a careful whimper. "Drop the act, I hate when people play dumb with me." The temperature spiked in the room, like his onyx gaze was melting her organs into liquid fire. He was so intense, his presence alone petrifying when it needed to be.

How could he have known? She hadn't used her magic in years, let alone in front of this man. She was very particular about when she would let the enchantment rise to the surface of her skin, fairly certain that only her parents had ever witnessed it. And after her father's reaction, she wasn't too keen on letting a random stranger in on the secret. "H-how could you tell?" Natsu's expression faltered for a mere second before a smirk ebbed its way to his lips. Violently pointed canines peeking past the tan flesh.

"I could practically smell it on you from the forest line. Royal blood tends to reak." His smirk grew wildly, giving her an open few of the rest of his teeth. Placed perfectly with accurate precision and gleaming white. She could have sworn she witnessed a stream of smoke sneak past his teeth. His statement snagged the attention of everyone in the room, all their jaws hanging open slightly. Natsu didn't seem to notice the others, entertained completely by the flustered mess he had created out of the blonde. She was baffled. In a matter of two minutes, this man had ripped apart her most guarded secrets. Ones that she had dedicated the last three years of her life protecting. "Judging by your reaction I would even go as far as guessing that you just might be our one and only lost princess." He leaned in closer, gaging her reaction. His ridiculous smirk never leaving his quirked lips. This time she was certain of the smoke, a deep gray whisp forcing past his lips. "So I'll ask once more, what type of user are you?" His voice had dropped at least three octaves, the latter of the sentence losing the playfulness he had begun to pick up.

"Natsu, stop. You're scaring her." Lissana moved forward, placing a delicate hand over his rough shoulders. She was eyeing Lucy tenderly, the glimmer of her irises silently asking if she was alright. Natsu didn't retreat, keeping his stance firm as he loomed over the edge of her mattress. if Lucy thought her blood had been pushed to boiling under their original gaze, she figured at this point she was utterly evaporating.

"I'm n-not sure."

The room temperature spiked fiercely. Natsu's face contorting as his patience was ground down. Gray stepped forward, looking at her rather unpleasantly. "Look, I understand this is probably a lot to take in just after you woke up. I know you didn't ask for any of this, but because of this morons antics," He shoved his finger towards Natsu's chest from across the bed frame, earning a displeased scoff. "You ended up here. We really don't mean you any harm and we promise to help keep you safe if your willing to work with us. So please, just answer his question." Lucy nodded before tossing her head down, letting the bedsheets take up her vision. Gray certainly was kinder with his words, and she did feel a little less uncomfortable now. But the panic at the back of her throat had yet to subside completely.

"I'm sorry... I really don't know." She exhaled her words carefully. "I have almost no knowledge of magic, or how any of it works." She could feel the redness of her cheeks overtaking the rest of her face and crawling down her neck to splay over her chest. The embarrassment of her lack of skill taking over. "Really the most I can do is make my hands glow a little bit."

"Can you show us?" This time when Natsu spoke, his voice was calm. Soothing over her worry like a milky glaze. She tossed her head forward again, wincing at the slight throb just above her nose. His eyes were soft and endearing as he peered forward, waiting patiently for her to make her move. The contrast of his quickly changing moods almost giving her whiplash. She closed her eyes in focus, inhaling harshly as she forced all the heat in her chest to the tips of her fingers. A gentle hue of flaxen light coating over her palms and down her fingertips. She ripped her eyelids open when a forceful hand connected with hers. Natsu eagerly pulling them towards himself.

"No way..." He muttered, his words slipping out under his hot breath. The sultriness drizzling over her fingers and causing her light to spark recklessly before going out completely. He tossed his head to the side, catching Gray's stare. "Do you really think we found one?" Gray shrugged his shoulders slowly, eyes darting back towards Lucy's hands. She exhaled shakily, pushing her lips apart to question the two men, only to be caught off guard by the oak door swinging against its hinges violently.

"You," The newcomer lashed, striking a finger in Natsu's direction. "Have a hell of a lot of explaining to do."

Natsu's POV ~

Natsu dropped Lucy's hand instantly, casting his attention to the figures in the doorframe. It appeared their Guild Master had returned from his trip unexpectedly early. And if the annoying expression plastered over his features was anything to go by, he wasn't too pleased by his own extravagant entrance. One might think after years of burning various things into pillars of ash, that people would get used to it. Sadly the reaction stayed relatively the same."So, what have you got to say for yourself?" Their headmaster practically spat, waving a stack of folded envelopes above his head dramatically. His small exterior greatly decreasing the intimidating aura he was obviously going for. The crevasses of his ever defining wrinkles scrunching as he contorted his face further. "You've really done a number this time Natsu. The council is furious with me for letting you galavant around so carelessly!" His voice was rough, the old man almost shaking with intensity. Natsu let a puff of smoke roll of his lips, deciding to focus instead on the figure beside their Master.

"I think what he means to say is good morning." The words rich on her tongue as they slipped past pearlized teeth. A soft chuckle capping her speech. Mirajane. A woman of utter sophistication. The elder sister of Lissana Strause, their resemblance uncanny as they stood across from one another. Her complexion held the same pale exterior but with such a rosy undertone one might believe she bathed only in the finest rosewater. Unlike her sister, her snowy locks fell in long relaxed curls that billowed at the extreme curve of her hips. She exhaled a sweet harmony over the gloss of her full pink lips. Working them into an amused pout while she raised her remaining hand to wrap her cinched waist. A dress coloured of deep coral donned her figure, the neckline deep, complimenting the dip of her defined collar bones. Her every movement felt calculated, meticulous even. Her only goal to radiate complete and utter perfection. She released her hold on the Headmaster's shoulder with a slight pop of her wrist, sweeping forward across the tiles to circle around Natsu. A glorious smile overtaking her pout as she pinched his cheeks. "It's so good to see you back, you've been gone an awful lot lately." Natsu jerked his head backward ungracefully, detaching the abused flesh of his cheeks from her slender fingertips. "You look older, more filled out even." She tapped his chest pointedly, smirking up towards him. "And you need to shave."

Natsu shifted his weight to his other foot, rubbing the underside of his jaw self-consciously. "Good to see you too Mira." He utterly playfully. She had easily become one of his favourite people over the years, kindness basically radiated out of her pores. Her motherly figurative a welcoming beam of light over his shambled life. Although he still found it rather perplexing that she was engaged to one of the most hard-headed men he had ever met. His daunting personality alone was 'shock' enough. "How's Laxus been?"

"Well enough I suppose." She hummed gently. "I'm sure you can ask him for yourself when he catches up to you later. I've already asked him to have a word or two with you." Natsu raised his brow suspiciously as Mira crossed her delicate arms across her ample chest. "I mean seriously Natsu, gone for months and without letting a single person know you were even leaving. How irresponsible of you. Had me in such a worry. You know what they do to us if we're caught out there." She flicked her wrist softly, waving it in the air in front of her. "Not to mention you seem to be the least inconspicuous out of all of us. We've been tracking damage reports all over the content, trying to pin down your location."

"Ah Mira, you worry too much." He chided, giving her a wild smirk. "Lissana already gave me the same lecture."

"Wait until you see the mess of stitching he's done to his chest." She piped in for good measure, to which Natsu couldn't help but roll his eyes.

Mira shook her head, mid scoff. "How could you be so reckless? That fire was far to close to home. Think of all the attention you've drawn this way. Elfman was on watch last night, said he spent the whole shift diverting royal guardsmen away from our enchantment line." It was rare to see Mira look anything but overwhelmingly cheerful. The worried expression plastered over face felt foreign and wrong. He really did feel guilty for causing such a commotion, but he stood by his actions. He truly believed he did the right thing.

"Not to mention you've breached all of our safety restrictions by bringing an unregistered here." Lucy jumped slightly, realizing that the short man's attentive gaze was now pointed in her direction. Mira shot the man an aggravated look at his aggressive words. Typically preferring to keep a calm mind about things.

"When I saw what those bastard guardsmen were doing to her, taking advantage of her like that, I guess I kinda lost my temper." Natsu shrugged, brushing the situation off. "Anyway, when I went to go check if she was alright she kinda just grabbed on to me. And I could have sworn her hand was glowing gold, I just got excited that maybe I found a real celestial. I mean her blood is definitely that of royals, so I brought her back with me." He cast his eyes toward the very flustered and confused looking blonde, his lips curling into his famous smirk. "And get this Gramps, I just got her to do it again."

The Headmaster raised a brow, folding his arms across his chest. "Out of all the excuses to choose from, you pick the most outlandish and expect me to believe you?"

"Master, I think he's really telling the truth. I just saw her do it myself." Lissana spoke up, moving to join the circle of people around Lucy's bed. "I really don't believe she holds any threat over us. She hasn't even been taught how to control her energy." She raised her pale fingers to cup the underside of Natsu's jaw, her frame continuing to face the older man. "I know his actions may have seemed uncalled for, but above it all, he did save a life. Not to mention the fact that Freed's barrier charm has never been stronger. Attention to the area or not, I don't believe they'd be able to actually find us here." She giggled, crouching down to match his shorter height. "I think you should let her stay. If she really is a celestial, we could help unlock her potential. Plus, I don't believe she has anywhere else to go. Would you really kick a child to the street?" She gestured towards Lucy, who (if possible) looked more confused than before.

"Ah, Lissana, ever fateful with bailouts." The Headmaster snorted, crossing his arms roughly. She smiled genuinely, nodding her head slightly before standing again. He turned to face the recovering blonde, raising a brow in curiosity. "I suppose I can deal with Natsu's destructive behaviour later. For now, let's start with your name?"

Natsu once again let his sightline fall to her, the pretty blonde woman wearing a perplexed expression. She was easily one of the most stunning women he'd ever come across, entrancing him from the second she fell in his peripheral. The way she was sitting, sprawled in the tall grass while those vile men encircled her. Moonlight basking over the expanse of her creamy skin. Expression firm even in her bleak situation. The way she had clung to his jaw when he finally approached her. Chocolate irises reflecting the golden light of his flames. Chest heaving, searching for lost breath. Her body, so delicate against his rough arms. When she had called him an angel in her disorientated state, it did more than stroke his ego lightly. And even now, wrapped up in a starch hospital gown, a grayish bruise dusted over the slope of her elegant nose. Blonde tendrils dancings over the small of her back in effortless curls. Shorter strands framing the heart shape of her face and dipping under the graceful curve of her chin. The way her words poured like thick cream from her slender top lip, pooling over the plumpness of her bottom one. "Lucy." Fitting, he almost snorted. Of course, she would have a beautiful name to accompany her opulent exterior. "It's Lucy Heartfilia." She was nervous, quivering slightly under the scrutiny.

"A Heartfilia? Looks like I guessed right then." Natsu snickered, raising his arms to cross behind his head. Lucy nodded, casting her eyes back towards the sheets.

"I thought all the Hearfilia women had passed?" Their Headmaster questioned. "Seem's only yesterday the Queen was executed before the public."

Lucy flinched, her fingers toying with one another absentmindedly. "S-she helped me run away. I think my father was embarrassed he wasn't able to find me. So he announced that my own execution would be private." She looked up, sad eyes locking with the old man who nodded in return.

"How did you end up in the forest?"

"Somebody must have recognized me while I was travelling through Magnolia." She mumbled, trying to hide the twitch of her lower lip. "The local guardsmen chased me from town." Their Master seemed satisfied enough with her answer, moving to the end of her bed before hopping up to perch on the fabric.

"So you knew nothing of what was located in this forest before your arrival?" He questioned, his tone was light while his eyes were serious. Lucy shook her head, golden locks bouncing with every sway. "I suppose that means our cover has yet to be blown." He nodded in approval before shifting his arm forward, offering his hand towards the young woman. Natsu winced slightly. This was their Master's final test to gauge if she was a threat or not, and it most certainly wasn't a pleasant one. At least in his case, it hadn't been. Headmaster Makarov Dreyar was an exceptional man, with abilities unmatched by the common mage. He had spent years of his life dedicated towards the magical arts, earning the title of Wizard Saint early on in life. One of his wondrous abilities was that of mind searching. Rare in its own right, giving the caster access to the memories of their chosen victim. A complete unlocking of one's mind. Or in Natsu's opinion, a complete invasion of one's most sacred and darkest memories. Forcing the victim to relive them while he searched. He turned away when he heard the breathy gasp escape her lips. Closing his eyes against the dull sapphire glow. When he finally peeled them open again, Lucy was sitting with a hurt expression over her features, clutching her previously extended hand against her chest. Neither of them spoke for a moment, allowing her to catch her breath before moving on. Natsu knew their Master would never utter a word about another's memories, but the thought of him having all this knowledge of someone was still rattling to him, despite the ample trust he had for the man.

"I'm sorry about that." Makarov apologized gently, tapping the blanket cast over her uninjured leg. "It's vital I dismiss any doubt of your character before allowing you access to my home and family." Lucy nodded slowly, her puzzled expression returning. Natsu let out a shaky breath, relief pooling in the pit of his stomach at her acceptance. "This place," The old man gestured around, "Is sector three's mage compound, code dubbed Fairy Tail. A completely self-sufficient guild created for the safety of mages like us." He smiled, the grin almost childlike against his aged exterior. "It was founded many years ago as a resource for mages to find work and housing and continues to provide that to this day. After the announcement of criminalization against those with magic blood, Fairy Tail, along with other guilds on the continent created a hidden network to aid witches and wizards in their daily life."

"That's amazing," Lucy whispered breathily. Natsu was scanning her again. His lips twitching into a smirk as he watched the light begin to slip back into her eyes. "Nobody ever speaks of it anymore, but I just knew there must have been a sanctuary of sorts for the enchanted." She was grinning now, a sheepish curl overtaking her mouth. "I knew my father would never be able to wipe magic away completely, it's far too strong for the likes of him."

Makarov nodded, hiding his own smirk behind the white mustache coating his top lip. "I am Headmaster Makarov, the keeper of this guild. I dedicate my life to the grounds and those who live here. In my opinion, there is no safer place for a mage to be in today's world."

"It's really more of a fact than opinion," Gray added, crossing his arms. "If you have any life ambition as a mage, a guild is where you want to be."

"And as a mage in need, I offer with complete sincerity a place of residence for you. There is no pressure in my offering, only available aid. We can train you here, help you to develop your skills in all things including magic. You can work for your keep as the other residents do, through listed quests and job postings as well as more clerical jobs around the base. I can offer you safety if you agree to live by the code and rules of our guild." The headmaster spoke evenly, keeping his attention on the blonde. Her excitement seemingly growing with his every added word. "It's up to you, child."

Lucy was beaming, glistening straight teeth on show for the group. "This really is like a dream." She hummed. "I think I would be insane to decline such an offer."

Makarov nodded approvingly. "Well Miss Lucy, on behalf of our guild I would like to offer you a warm welcome, as well as an apology for the situation that brought you to us. I hope you will come to love it here just as I do." He slid off the edge of the bed, now making his way towards the door. "For now child, you should rest. Come tomorrow morning we can see about housing arrangments for you." He peered over his shoulder at her, granting a kind smile, then turned towards Natsu. "And you," he spoke sternly, pointing a finger at his chest. "Come to my office, I believe we still have much to discuss about your recklessness.

"And I am most certainly will be having a look at those stitches Natsu. Let's not add more than we must to that collection of scars." Mira scolded firmly. Natsu let out a smoky huff before following the older man out the door. Only sparing a single glance back towards Lucy before turning down the hall.

Lucy's POV ~

Everyone continued to file out of the room after Natsu, leaving her alone with an overly beaming Lissana. "I just know you'll love it here. Fairy Tail has become a home for so many others like you, I have no doubt you'll fit in." She hummed, her glorious smile never leaving her lips. Lucy nodded happily, her own smile crawling across her lips innocently.

"Is everybody here proficient in magic?"

"Almost all the current members are yes, but others were like you when they were recruited." A dreamy look overtook her blue orbs as she seated herself at the foot of the mirroring bed. "If I remember correctly, even Natsu-san struggled to make sparks when Gildarts came across him." She let out a breathy giggle. "And look at the powerhouse he's become! I'm sure you'll progress quickly enough."

"Did he really burn an entire section of forest away?" Lucy couldn't help herself from prying about the boy, still overly curious about everything he had to offer. "How did he manage that?"

Lissana snorted, rolling her shoulders back carefully "One does not simply explain how Natsu manages to do half the things he does." She huffed, tossing her bangs with a flick of her neck. "Although, as disastrous as his methods seem to be, he always manages to save those who need saving." She was smiling again, a goofy-looking grin plastered over her lips. She stood slowly, turning to dig through a drawer in the desk across from the bed. "He comes across a little brash sometimes, but I promise you he's rather amazing."Lucy relaxed lower into the bedsheets, deciding that the woman ahead of her was just blatantly that nice. Maybe she really would be safe and hidden here. The thought was charming, having a solid place to stand on for a while. Even the clean sheets of the infirmary a considerable upgrade from the cheap rooms she had been renting.

"He saved me too, ya know. A long time ago, when we were young and foolish." Lissana spun on her heel gracefully, leaning against the worn wooden siding of the desk. Her cloak rippling around her legs with pure grace. "I owe him everything." Her lips curled upwards slightly, smiling at the ground as if it would respond to her sincerity. It was almost endearing, hearing her speak so highly of somebody. "It really isn't that terrible being indebted to somebody like him." She was beaming at the floor foolishly now and this time it was Lucy's turn to snort, amused at how this woman was so clearly drooling over Natsu. Though she could hardly blame her, he had been astronomically beautiful. Even the gods seemed uncomparable. She nodded slowly, returning Lissana's warm gaze.

"Now," Lucy spoke softly, trying to regain her confidence. "Can you tell me what a celestial is?"

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Hope you enjoyed this one :) Let me know what you think!

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[sidelinedpoeticprose]

Crocodile Tears

I feel tense

Anger born of sadness

A storm born of a house fire

My ashes hold water

Until rain falls like tears

If you always hold your tears in,

Do you think the tears have to come out other ways?

As a kid i sweat alot, and i used to think it was because it was because I wasn't allowed to cry

Maybe it's why i pee so often now.

Certainly not the fact i was overweight or that i take diuretics.

Ever the romantic is I

I suppose...

But where do tears go when you don't let them fall and dry up?

Maybe they freeze into the walls we build between ourselves others

Between ourselves and our selves

Between pain and mystery.

Have tears ever fallen from you, without your knowledge or permission?

I call them ghost tears.

Forgotten pain is remembered when ghost tears fall.

Forgotten pain is forgiven when ghost tears fall.

Pain is buried deeper when ghost tears fall.

One thing can mean alot, and alot can mean a little. It just depends how you look at it.

I cry alot, but maybe i don't cry enough, considering.

But has anyone ever considered the aches when they said it wasn't manly?

Did they consider that i could still feel him if i let my mind drift too far?

Oh to be a woman, indoctrinated with a man's beliefs.

Which isn't to applaud the toxicity of masculity for men but nary a woman.

Just to say, if anyone was made for this, it was never going to be me.

These ghost tears from vintaged spirits, fall as i drown myself with liquid spirits, fall as i bury you inside me over and over again, fall if i look into the fire for just too long

I see you everywhere my eyes are not.

I never know when I'll feel you behind me.

But my ghost tears...

My ghost tears will always be the marks i made in the wall to remind myself you'd been there.

I know you so well i could say i love you if i didn't hate you.

But truth be told, i only know you as well as i know the idea of you.

Being that i made that tho...

These tears you call crocodile are not even alligators.

"Why are you crying?"

I don't know, I didn't know i was, who put these here?

They're ghost tears

[laissezferre]

the terror (2018), last 3 eps

this is primarily for @corinthes, whom i’ve been yelling at for the past few days bc of this show. it got a bit lengthy and and i doubt you’d enjoy reading this from the chat box. spoilers beware for anyone curious enough.

i feel like episode 8 is the calm before the shitstorm that is ep 9-10 and it certainly has the feel of a filler episode, but i love it nonetheless. people talk! people have lines and are given the time to deliver them! francis and james have this important conversation even before the credits roll and that makes it all the more important. i love this scene; i see what you mean about how it belongs to a stage. it's just two guys having a heartfelt convo, beautifully acted. when the camera goes further and shows them standing apart, right in the middle of the frame, in this vast wasteland, looking at each other and having an understanding--gaawwd.

tobias's delivery of "i would like that very much" was so good! so vulnerable and open and hopeful. even now, he needs validation and it's important that he gets it from francis. and francis--having labeled the ship as a confessor--fills the ships' gap and becomes the confessor for everyone apparently. and at this point, he's reached god-like zen bc seriously he looks so put together after everyone's spilled their guts out to him. til the end, he dispenses "i forgive you" and "you did your best" and "you're a good lad" like pancakes. and he starts calling people by their first name too. and this, coming from a francis crozier who has known to be miserable and disagreeable, is called d e v e l o p m e n t. further on, when tells his lieutenants that if they got sick, he wouldn't leave them either, i thought "yes, i would die for you, i would follow you to hell and back". thank you, jared, for this performance.

i loved the almost-hanging scene too. it's a very looong scene and it's sad how so few shows actually take the time to have their characters talk! i can easily imagine this on a stage, complete with atmospheric smoke and sepia lighting. i knew that letter was gonna bite francis in the ass. i was waiting for it and hickey put down that card in the best time possible. hickey, you are a murdering, mutinous son of a bitch, but i also can't help but admire you.

ep 9 is like one sucker punch after another. god wants you to live, can we sleep, bridal carry, what can i do for you sir--this is... too much. special props tho to goodsir bc he has been through some shit. this show has added so many actors to my watch-for-next-projects list and that includes paul ready. he goes through such a transformation, so filled with hope and optimism and empathy and by the time they ask him to butcher gibson, he just looks so fucking done. we know he's going to die and it won't be by anyone else's hand. i love the part where hickey stabs gibson and they get into a struggle, but it’s less a physical struggle and more a battle of wills. can't believe they brought out the bits of glass from episode xX. his death was so beautifully shot. first, from where he sits still and looks in the direction of the camera while the tent canvass behind him thrashes wildly. that was hauntingly beautiful. then when he cuts his wrists but we can't see his face, only his spasms. and then when he pictures the flowers and shells. that broke me. he was a science man to the death.

i have words for jopson but i will reserve them for ep 10.

francis gave a service for james but they did it alone. ok then! fuck me up some more! this, plus blankly's revelation that he's gonna die soon, chips at francis' state of zen and we see him break a bit. i love how his voice breaks in "why didnt you say aything?!" and then they're laughing and crying at the same time and yeah, there is no toxic masculity in this murderland, just a whole lot of love.

this show like oprah giving out prizes. "you get a monologue! and you get a monologue! and you get a monologue!" and i love it! hodgson and tover are relatively minor characters but they are given time to speak up, and despite their shitty actions, you can't help but empathize. and their breakdowns aren't the same either. goodsir breathes heavily, hodgson is still and haunted, tover hugs himself and shudders, and they all do it so well! how is everyone in this show so good?? jared did mention that most of the cast was theater-trained so i guess that played a part.

i have to tell you that before bingeing the last 3 eps i watched almost all the terror crack videos on youtube, so these last eps were, though still heartbreaking, were also a bit funny for me, in an absurd kind of way. when james fires the rocket, i can hear "rocketman" in the background. when goodsir mixes the poison, i almost yelled "chemistry time!". it's just... i needed to make fun of it or i wouldn't surive the heartbreak. which leads me to:

jopsoooooonnn! the best boi! the goodest boi! the most loyal boi who did no wrong! apart from his death, what's more heartbreaking is that he thought crozier left him. he didn't know that the captain was abducted so he thought he's been deliberately abandoned. his hallucination reduced me to tears. he was probably starving to death and here was all this food but no, he! just! wanted! his! captain! he sees the captain in his best form--well kempt, alert, emphatic--and at the end of it, his captain is turned away from him. fuck me up seven ways to sunday. i desperately want bts pics from this scene bc the eeriness of having a full dining table in the wastes must be jarring.

little doesn't get enough credit, because while he did mess up, his loyalty is also something to be admired. they were hungry and sick and dying--they could very well have just kept on south but he was still insistent to save francis. "you would leave our captain with that devil of a man?" yes, little, you did your best. you deserved to die last.

if tunbaaq is meant to be a metaphor for nature and balance, it's absolutely fitting how it's defeated by lead and chemical poison. ultimately, how we've used technology and industrialization kills the environment--or at least that's how i read it.

i really have to applaud adam nagaitis for his performance here and i do think he deserves top billing as much as the lead cast. by the end of it, he draws as much screen time as crozier and you can even say that he holds the last 2-3 eps together. and you genuinely fucking hate his character. were those really james' boots he was wearing? does that mean they dug him up and looted him? that unforgiveable swine, may he rot in hell, but gawwd adam pulled it off well.

i've been debating with myself if it was kinder and more poetic to have crozier die at the end so that he wouldn't have to grieve or go through survivor's guilt, but for my own mental health, i'm glad he survived. it's a small mercy but i'm glad he got to live. i'm glad he got to see what happened to his men, that he saw jopson one final time, and little too. his survival also sends the message that the one most willing to adapt (and respect the culture) will survive. he tries to follow silna but stops when the chief says "it's just how we do things". he understands and he lets it go. he learns the language and the way of life--and he lives.

i've watched featurettes and interviews for this series and from there you can really see that this show was a labor of love. it was a product of collaboration, research, open-mindedness, and a solid cast and crew. you can have all the special effects, all the expensive costumes, but at the core of it, what makes a good story is Dialogue. i can honestly say that it's one of the best scripts this decade has ever produced. the showrunners set out to tell a story and they did it to the best of their ability. i'll be coming back to this series for the next few months and rewatching it many times over.

thank u, thank u, thank u for introducing this to me. now come yell at me back

#the terror #the terror amc #thoughts #i have feeling--a lot of them

[karl-capulet]

Mascul(fem)inity - circa 2015

Excuse me sir?

Hey man…

Dude…!

Yes I am talking to you and all of your frat brothers. Does it bother you that I have a little swish in my walk? Does it concern you that my voice does not sit in my lower register? Does it pain you, and I mean actually ’cause you harm to the point where you may need examination from a doctor, whenever I put my hands on my hips? It should not because this is in you too. All men have some ounce of femininity in them and you should not disown it, you should embrace it because it only enhances your manhood.

So you know what? Why don’t we just solve this problem right now sir… Since YOUR life won’t be able to function properly due to my behavior. Go grab your mother, since you dare not touch a needle and thread ever in your life (for fear that you might have same-sex tendencies) and sew a big fat pink F on all the articles of my clothing to announce to the world that I am a feminine man. I AM A MODERN DAY HESTER PRYNNE EVERYONE! Look, look! You wanna know my crime? BEING A FULL-FLEGED HAPPY MAN! That’s right! My crime is nothing. I am living my life, in my truth, how I want and I am punished for it because men feel threatened (wait, I’m sorry let me correct myself… STRAIGHT men feel threatened) and no this is not because I am gay. I personally am gay, but that is not the point! SO WHAT! If a guy is overtly feminine! Did you know that he could also be straight too? Yes, it does happen! But since it scares you so, go ahead and give all the men you feel that are intimidatingly feminine a nice, big, glittery F to wear on all of their clothes too! I am sure it would look wonderful! Then we can all bow down to you as you reincarnate The Third Reich and you exterminate and oppress me and all other men of your species just because you are a little uneducated. Go ahead become a modern day Hitler, or shall I say, Mrs. Adolf Hitler, since being a feminine man bothers you oh so much! What else will be next? Will you force me into hiding and then I become a literary genius and inspiration after my death? Or do I get to go to a concentration camp? I will let you pick, MAN but if I could ever so request that I be sent someplace warm, and have a room with a view?

This is how our world is going to be if you keep giving a damn about the guy next to you and how he conducts his life. Get a grip dude! You will live. Your life will not be over just because a guy is in touch with his feelings, like to watch the movie “Clueless” one too many times, fawns over poetry, and cries when Mufasa dies. If you cannot do this, then go ahead a grab yourself a nice royal blue A to stitch on your clothes for AFRAID, because that is what you are and it won’t go away unless you change.

#queer #black #blacklivesmatter #blackwriter #gender #clueless #scarlet letter #2015