#let us all walk together

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #souyo #soooooooooo we gonna talk about how yosuke enthusiastically jumps in to tell yu that hes the same #so ive already talked a million times about how yu and yosuke's types are basically each other and that how their r/s is so defined by their #attraction to each others kindness and reliability and all that but im just #kanji's expression is sending me here LFMAO especially because kanji is low key the one that kind of points out their closeness the most #tatsumi “hey let me in on this conversation” kanji #tatsumi “whos your partner now!” kanji #1000% kanji knows they're into each other he knows they're flirting without realising they're flirting #like never ever forget kanji's own sensitivity to the people around him and HE KNOWS. WHATS. UP. #but also the way no one else except kanji intervenes lmao #lmao i think chie yukiko and their class president are just really used to what souyo are like together (embarrassing not-pda pda) #so theyre just ah business as usual theyre doing that thing again. this is minor. trivial in the grand scheme of everything else they do #its got nothing on them passing notes or the way yu turns around to smile at yosuke and yosuke smiles back and they just sit there smiling #at each other in absolute silence. their classmates know to just walk around them and leave them alone. #class prez knows if he has to tell one of them its their turn on duty its a lost cause. they'll make up for it later as they always do #but for now he knows he'll have to get the broom and sweep the classroom floor himself #ok i jest none of that is canon (is it) but thanks to the sample bias i have from this scene #i am on the floor laughcrying at how everyone at the tables just #watching souyo flirt shamelessly like ah theyre at it again. why did hanamura-kun even suggest a group date hes clearly already dating- #he's good with his queue

[axolotlclown]

I suppose I'm a little late to the party, but I needed time to collect my thoughts.

Here's the thing, everyone's caught up on Caiti's age and whether she consented. To me, that isn't anywhere near the point. Her being so young is certainly creepy and strange, but not the point.

Here's the first thing, though less important than the next. As an adult, it is blaringly clear how irresponsible these "adults" were. Two grown ass men supplying alcohol to underaged girls in a hotel room. They were up drinking until 6am. They were one noise complaint away from getting the cops called.

Second thing. While underage drinking in the US is fairly normal, 18 is still pretty young here. Also, publicly admitting to supplying alcohol to an 18 year old is crazy, but not the point.

18 year olds can't compete with grown adults when it comes to alcohol. They don't have the same tolerance. There never should have been any "one upping."

No one should have gotten that drunk. The fact that there was a girl leaving, vomiting in her hand is fucking ridiculous. When someone, regardless of their age, is drinking too much too quickly, you cut them off and give them water. This is how college parties are run. Once you start wobbling a little too much, your speech is slurred, and you stop being a person, someone gives you water and walks you home.

And nobody walked her back to her hotel room?? Two grown men. I don't give a shit how tired you are. You always walk a girl home. Who the fuck raised you??

I am an adult man in college. I have been around a lot of different men. I have hung around men that behave like this. Let me promise you this: they got those girls drunk like that on purpose. They both wanted something. When they didn't get it, they just let the girls go. They were never interested in their safety. They were never interested in who they were.

And let me promise you this: there's never just one girl. And any well brought up man would have cut them all off and sent them on their way. There is way more to this situation than lets on.

And of course George never asked for her consent. It was never a question. They brought those girls back to that hotel room with the thought that they'd get something out of it. To George, he heard 18 and thought, "oh cool, she's legal."

I see this happen all the time in college. Usually men don't grow out of all of it, but they usually grow out of begging like a shitty dog in some random girl's DMs. To hear a grown ass man, 26 years old, behave like a fucking 19 year old sophmore in college is pathetic. I'm not interested in giving pathetic men any more time.

Also, love and light to Caiti, she looks like she's 16. "I didn't know she was 18!" First off, doesn't matter. Second off, I would've guessed she was a minor, so I know you checked first. Or else you're even dumber than the fucking college kids. Damn.

#in a few days im sure ill have a less angry post about it all #remember men #it is your responsibility to look after the women around you #cut them off give them water and walk them home #if a girl doesnt wanna fuck you whatever #dont let your ego get so bruised youll put a women is danger #are you out of your fucking mind??? #anyway #anyone trying to claim that caiti is lying isnt seeing the point #these men put young women in danger because theyre pissed they didnt get laid #danger that they themselves put together #this isnt a debate #thats fucked up #also #if a woman is so drunk shes not acting like herself anymore #use some fucking critical thinking #can she consent? #fuck no dipshit #if you need to get a girl wasted to get laid #maybe you just have the charisma of fucking ball sweat #take the L and go home #yall fucking exhaust me jesus #thoughts of dante #caitibugzz #georgenotfound #gnf #dream #dreamwastaken #oh that bitch isnt exempt either btw #hes trying to say what happened was ok

[thedreadvampy]

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment. #we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious. #like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe. #but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats) #and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills. #we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home! #and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

[earlgodwin]

I genuinely wish Cesare and Juan's dynamic was explored more since their brotherly bickering, conflicts and competitiveness was absolutely interesting to watch, and Juan's immaturity is very balanced with Cesare's leadership, thanks to David Oakes and François Arnaud's natural and amazing chemistry. Juan's death being very rushed will always annoy me and the show was never the same without him, knowing that Juan's solution at relieving his pain is through closeness with Cesare and loving him. He just wanted to be a part of the family and at every turn they’ve not allowed him. They’ve always pushed him away. when he forgave Cesare at the end saying how they're brothers and wants to be together, It was genuine which makes Juan's death even sadder than ever that Cesare stabbed him when he was just opening up and wanted harmony between himself and Cesare.

#i glimpse us cesare two brothers in harmony walking together #cesare's attempt to relieve his pain through murder and fratricide oooh he's so deranged i love him and hate him at the same time #it just fucks me up how pathetic juan was to cesare and being embarrassing just for cesare to stab him like !??!?!?! #anyway let's go back to juan and cesare they're the best brothers of all time and we've been robbed of their reconciliation arc #rodrigo gives affection to juan but he trusts and depends on cesare while juan has never had the closeness cesare had with their family #juan borgia #cesare borgia #the borgias #david oakes #francois arnaud #françois arnaud #period drama #period dramas #text post #by jen

[powdarrkeg01]

Beep boop

#STUPID FLESHLINGS IM FUCKING BALLING #wx 78 #dst wx78 #dst fanart #dst #don't starve together #lol #haha #my life is ruined <- hyperfixation #they really just let them say slurs #walking into the garden barely holding us over for the winter to call all the plants slurs and “”not talk to them“” #whats that magic glow then mx roboto #their nonbinary swag has enraptured me #they are also me #gears are so yum

[citrinide]

Hi I need everyone to look at the picture I was just sent of the cat living under our house.

His name is Salem and he is the single SWEETEST stray kitty I've ever met.

#cecil.fm #sad that the poor baby can't come in. Already have 3 and our last stray is being such a drama queen about it. #little loverboy gets a little cat bed and toy and all the food and water he desires under there. but he runs up to be pet instead #he sits on the stairs and waits while we feed the Farm Animals™ and chirps at us happily when we walk over #I LOVE void kitties #convinced Mari to let me adopt... 3 when we move in together

[lovelaceisntdead]

Oh. having a bad time.

#I've been holding it together all day but suddenly everything is really getting to me #so sick of feeling like this. i want to be able to have a nice time and enjoy myself but i can't walk around for more than half an hour #without feeling so exhausted #and i saw my brother today and i was really trying not to let it get to me seeing him doing so well #and I'm really happy he's doing well it's not that i just get so jealous that he's able to do all the things he can #i thought I'd been doing well the last couple of weeks bit maybe i was just repressing because now i cant fucking breathe #and i miss the cats so much i know it's been literally a day but I'm so used to having them there all the time #i am so tired. i want to sleep. but I'm so sad #I'm so anxious and i feel like I'm being short with everyone and it's making everything really tense #i don't know what to do. #I've been looking forward to this week for ages and i knew it would have an impact on me but i didn't think I'd feel this bad #I'm just really upset i don't what the point of this is but i just need to get this out because i feel like imgoing to explode #i think I've been feeling triggered since yesterday but not purging it so my body has just been feeling it and then its all spilked over #i know it started in the car because the roads we took to get here are the ones i used to take for my hospital appointments

[peapod20001]

I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time

#random post #I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol #I just mean. our house is a place where people get along #there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever #wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to #need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you #hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more #like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that #we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol #we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING #ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals #her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00 #and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were #me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations #when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol) #and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and #I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread #I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots #it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean #I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish #other people were able to have love and fun times often #I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever #but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people

[yourknightinshiningplastic]

bro he is literally just laying there saying whatever in their head talking about anything and everything but not sleeping.

#thinking about junior high #specifically it started with me saying i should relearn the clarinet i should get one again #then somehow to getting stuff i missed from teachers 'before or after class' because they were busy or i didn't want to be late for class #then to how i was usually on time so i had like no reason to worry #except for pe because i had math all the at the bottom of the junior high hallway then pe at the entire other end of the school #and we had to change but he was pretty lenient and i was usually one of the first kids out #also how most of us left our stuff in the locker room and not the lockers because they were a hassle and somehow we never had any theft #then i thought about how this kid next to my actual locker in fifth grade (no locks) took one of my pokemon magnets im pretty sure #and i never got it back #then i remembered another thing that happened in the fifth grade hallway #where that guy i had a crush on gave me a golf ball he found in his bookbag #well he asked if i wanted it and i said yes (like having things and liked him) and im pretty sure it stayed in my bookbag the entire year #if i knew which bookbag i used that year and if i still had it it might still be in there tbh #also when i was thinking about band i couldn't think of my study hall in 8th because i quit and then suddenly i membered #and idk how i forgot she was like my fav teacher and i had so much fun cus my 2 best friends (like the waterparks song?) were also in it #and since it was like the end of the day she let us like talk and mostly do what we wanted if we didn't have any late work #and me and andi probably spent like 75% of it doodling our little oc guys #i think our other friend spent a lot of it drawing aswell. #wait. now that i think about it. was she in our study hall? doubting myself all of a sudden. #yeah she was because we walked home together and i dont remember waiting in the hall for her or anything #i do remember that when me and her were still in band andi came and got us basically because we always took our time #i miss them :( #winona has something to say

[fen-dwxller]

.

#ooc // * fen dwxller . #// fUCK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM ACTUALLY PLAYING THROUGH THE SOLAVELLAN ROMANCE #// AND I GOT THROUGH THE BREAKUP SCENE #// MY HEART :( #// FENHAWKE WALKED SO SOLAVELLAN COULD RUN!!!!!! #// I SAID IT HERE FIRST #// FENRIS IS ALL “i need to get my shit together.” (3 yrs later) “ok my shits together lets be together <3” #// BUT MY DEAR FUCKING LAVELLAN CANT EVEN BE H A P P Y #// i tried to make everyone happy (alistair not a king but has the old god baby-- hof is an elf so they dont get married) #// (but they stay together FOREVER :) ) #// (alistair doesnt die-- sadly hawke dies but fenris is used to being alone so it's ok wHEEZE) #// (fenhawke was the most angst in my playthroughs up until solavellan) #// well i mean i guess fenhawke is back to angst since she died in the fade LOLOLOLOLO #// fuck you egg man i'll see you in trespasser

[axellis-archv-2]

hey *takes what was supposed to be just a visualization in case i ever wanted to draw overhallidays place in the future and then spends 4 hours on it

#📗 my post #🧯 overhalliday (s/i) #yeah ummm yeahn . hey . theres a lot in here let me divulge in the tags #hes supposed to live in like a town thats pretty Scrunched In with buildings kind of surrounding the place so the debug building behind #is supposed to mimic the back alley area that he uses for all his scraps && parts. really id imagine at some point he put a tarp over it #so metal doesnt rust && whatnot . but theres not really a way to do that i think in the sims #the bathroom being right where the stairs are is both a) bc i wrote that in a fic b) sometimes houses are dumb okay we cant all win #there isnt an operating table apparently?? so im using a lounge chair as a stand in and honestly it works well #really if i wanted to i wouldve added like soo much more clutter because he is. not the most organized #ftr i think like every sims bed has a headboard and he DOES NOT have that hes got a bed frame and a mattress that is IT!!! #^ not every sims one . the ones that dont talks abt...bed bugs. which . ew #and for the record also i think his place is only unique in the sense that you walk in and theres a workshop . exterior wise theres #probably like a bunchhh that look the same as youre walking down . all scrunched together #i actually donthave a set place in mind that he lives i just know its like. a Town #a town that doesnt have a hardware store . so he takes a train if he ever needs supplies & it takes abt 10 minutes to get to the city #so hes not like. Cut Off per se but the locals definitely know his deal enough #idk looking at it and imagining a bunch side by side makes me think of likee. like. norway? <- my biases it was like the 2nd thing i google #it would be nice to live by a bunch of water #but also im . i dont know anything abt architecture this very easily could read as somewhere in america or something like that #idk but in my head it snows a lot there thats like all i have thought out

[headphonemouse]

Pining hell

#in recently memory i have not wanted something with the intensity that i wanted to close the distance of 5 centimeters and press our sides #together. we were SO close. gravity was literally on my side we were sitting in a playground slide hiding from the sun my legs were swung #over the side she sat at the base and all i had to do was relax a little and i would have slid right into her #and she would have let me #when i saw her again for the first time in years she called to say she was walking down the street towards me and we would see each other #soon and i ran. i wanted to see her so bad so i ran and we ended up on opposite sides of the highway with no crossing #hi #from across the telephone line #and we talked like that until we got to the traffic light and she crossed to meet me and i wanted to hug her and look at her all at once #i looked at her. she'd lost some weight. she wears flat shoes now instead of the heels she adores. she cut her bangs #some time between the shared plate of french fries and the rose bushes we walked past time started moving again and i thought about the #future. for once looking forward to it. where would i go? what would i do? i didnt know before but i knew then i wanted it to be with her #ive always kind of known that #i used to think about her constantly #over the years i thought about her less and less but still often enough to maintain contact #hi it has been *checks timestamp* SIX DAYS?! #only six days since i wrote all the above and istg i felt time slowing down and stopping the longer i went without her #until i just kinda. settled back into living without her #six days ago it was unbearable #now im just as i have been for the past several years #and its kind of sad seeing that play out #but also by nature of getting used to it i cant even really get sad about it #its like listening to someone else distant from me talk about a foreign concept #love‚ i think i understood it just a little bit a week ago #it seems to have felt great #i dont remember it all that well anymore #talking tag

[dracolizardlars]

I've said it before but it really does mess with me how Americans simply do not use the word "village". It'll be like,

American Reddit user telling a story about their life: I used to live in a small town with minimal jobs.

Me: okay (imagining my nearest town, which has a 20-25K population, a shitty high street and a cinema)

American Reddit user: there wasn't really anything there, just a few roads with a few hundred people living on them

Me: ...oh, it was a village. (now imagining the tiny village nearest to the much larger village I live in, which has a population of 2K)

#draco speaks #like seriously I cannot get my head around 'small town' meaning 'a couple streets and a petrol station' #I cannot get my head around the fact that Americans would call where I live a town let alone the much smaller villages here #also ofc while Cornwall is rural and comprised of a million villages of varying sizes a couple towns and one very small city #It's all so compact compared to the U.S. #many of these villages are within an easy walking distance of one another #in fact many have merged together entirely over the decades #these tiny ''small towns'' in the US are in the middle of bumfuck nowhere half the time and it's nuts

[paeonie-s]

genuinely so emo abt the fact that i have friends who want to do stuff w me now omg

#i was v scared for college bc i have had. such awful luck w finding ppl who want to do things w me #the closest friendship ive ever had was online lol and even that ended w me being ignored and pushed away so its a v foreign experience for #other ppl to v openly. enjoy my company and continously invite me to things just bc they want me to be there #like ik a good part of that is everyone trying to not be lonely as shit these first couple weeks but all of the friends im referring to #were part of a summer program where they got to show up like 6 weeks early and so they already have friends and ppl to hang out w #so its still rly cool that i showed up made friends w like 2 of them and now 3 weeks later im having to actively plan time to do hw and #watch my shows and stuff bc im being invited to eat and walk around and watch movies and do things all the time #shit is surreal !! im so grateful esp when my suggestions for things to do are well recieved like today alone i invited some of them #to go to the barnes and noble opening in a town near us next month + to a open house at our states observatory. and other ppl were actually #excited to learn abt those. its insane im so used to being ignored and treated like the things i care abt dont matter i love life rn omg #ppl are so cool and interesting sometimes i still feel like i am the most boring person in the room bc i never had the time money location #or motivation to explore a ton of my interests but when i tell ppl abt that feeling theyre like bitch me too !!! lets go snowboard and hike #and have observing nights and paint and dress up for halloween together and its makes me so happy. that is all #actually one more thing i was initially thinking abt dressing up as asa csm (which is. already an improvement from younger me feeling so #isolated she avoided dressing up for halloween for a decade bc she never felt close enough to go w anyone) BUT NOW im a part of a 2 month #old plan for like a dozen ppl to dress up as monster high girls AND im gonna be draculaura. literally such a slay i cant #🌸.txt

[theheadlessgroom]

https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/713656790864232449/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride

@beatingheart-bride

Gingerly, Randall took the mask from her, briefly taking a moment to look at it himself, seemingly briefly lost in thought. 

He both hated and loved his mask, this remaining thread connecting his past to his present: He’d had it for as long as he could remember, his one means of hiding his face from those around him (and he knew they would prefer it that way; the carnies were never shy about telling him to cover it up, were he to ever try and remove it around them). It also made for a more dramatic reveal in the eyes of the ringmaster, always declaring with a flourish, “I give you...the Devil’s Child!” before wrenching the mask away from his face, so that the people could get their money’s worth...

He looked the mask over in his thin, bony hands again, almost seeming to briefly toy with the notion of putting it back on: It was so odd not to wear it around someone...almost as odd as having someone tell him that they actually wished to see his face-his true face, no matter how hideous and horrifying it was...

Though the temptation was strong, Randall resisted the urge to put it back in its proper place, instead opting to prop it up beside the libretto-his stomach tightened as he did, jumping as he looked back up at the un-frightened Emily, smiling angelically at him, a smile he managed to return (albeit a little fainter) as he took a deep breath to calm himself. 

He had nothing to fear. Not with her. Never with her.

#((both of us; collectively: GET ON WITH IT!)) #((this scene would be SUCH a solid setup to a first kiss in ANY other story...but they have to wait six months before they get to that!)) #((but like you said better late than never! they'll get their kiss eventually and it will be SO cathartic as a result!)) #((and oh i KNOW the whole time they're apart emily is thinking of randall; wanting to be with him more than anything!)) #((she's longing for him; he's probably *really* having to restrain himself from lashing out at thaddeus in any way)) #((lest he further alienate emily; and he'll probably have to restrain himself from doing so much as trying to reach out to her)) #((after rehearsals to let her know what he thought; he's still very loyally attending all of them! he just can't give her feedback)) #((and tell her how wonderfully he thinks she's doing; which i think will just be another blow to them both in a lot ways!)) #((she's used to turning to him for feedback and he's used to giving it to her...and for a while that's just not an option!)) #((they're gonna miss hanging out after rehearsals in the attic; having dinner together; talking as they walk around the passageways)) #((spending time on the rooftop...it's gonna be a VERY lonely six months for them; full of pining after one another)) #((but at least it'll make their inevitable reunion all the sweeter!)) #outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Phantasm of the Mansion

[kittlyns]

One day I am gonna start journaling again and then I won't post all this sad shit on here but until then! *posts another sad post*

#it's dark and I'm tired so this means NOTHING. but. #there's no heartbreak like raising your younger siblings and them growing up to side against you #I lost my childhood to playing parent and trying to distance my siblings from the fighting and verbal abuse I witnessed and endured #I learned to read the room early on so I could get them out of situations before they turned bad #I knew I had to be perfect so I could take the fall for shit I'd never do and get a lighter punishment than the 'problem children' #I understand the younger kids. I was older so I could shield them better until they were old enough for our parents to mellow out a bit #of course they would choose the parents who don't care enough to parent them over the bitch who had multiple public breakdowns over them #but my brother. I don't understand that. it was our war. we had to figure it out together #of course he didn't though. he'd hit every landmine and it was up to me to pick up the pieces and salvage what I could. #instead of there being a solidarity between us as survivors of a pitiful childhood he's taken to blaming me for it all #I'm the reason he's depressed. suicidal. can't get a job. can't drive. never leaves the house. it's all because of me. #he'll joke around and egg on the man who used to corner and scream and threaten and insult him. #he'll wax poetic about how he has our bio father's blood. how he shares so many traits with a man who never wanted him. will never care. #I won't say I was perfect or that I did right by him in every way. I was a child trying to survive and I lashed out plenty of times. #I never understood why he couldn't just shut up. couldn't just let words be said and meekly take them. always had to get the last word in. #couldn't just curse the man in his heart with his head bowed and a 'yes sir. sorry sir.' #I blamed him for that at the time. I was wrong for that. #so yeah. I can accept my part of making things worse for him. I should've tried harder to understand him. #what I can't accept is that the blame falls solely on me. not our bio father who beat our mom and abandoned us. #not our stepfather who made every day a walk on eggshells. not our complacent mother. not the external family who only ever made it worse. #just me. I'm the only thing that ruined his life. #and sure. he can believe whatever he wants. if that's how he feels then so be it. #but he has to tell everyone. yeah my sister ruined my life. yeah she's the reason I want to kill myself. #over and over and over. all the family believes him. #my mom tells me to be nicer to him. my grandma asks me what I've done to hurt him so badly. he tells our siblings I'm a bitch and a liar. #I haven't even spoken to him in years. but every time he has a mental health crisis it's my fault. #in what way? who fucking knows. he talks in circles and the only thing he says for certain is it's my fault. and that's all my family needs #it truly got to the point I had to stop speaking to him cuz no matter what I said he decided it was an attack on him. #so. I've dealt w a lot. sacrificed an entire life stage. got nothing to show for it #except mental illness and a creeping sense that it was all for nothing