#let's be real parachuting to steal cars would be hillariously stupid in real life

[snow-den]

Motor Vehicle Theft [Ficlet]

(Inspired by the  Criminal Masterminds Doomsday Heist Part 2 ) “Say that again,” Geoff said, heroically resisting the urge to bury his face in his hands.

Michael shrugged or at least tried to, a difficult task considering his left arm was in a cast.

“You wanted us to steal those cars, didn’t you?” he said.

“Yeah,” Gavin piped in. “And we did try to steal those cars like you said.”

Gavin didn’t have a cast but rather a bandage wrapped around his chest, several scratches on his face and a bruised eye. Geoff starred at him for a long moment before turning his attention back to Michael.

“Please tell me again,” he then said, his tone grave. “How exactly you tried to steal those cars.”

“So we got in the helicopter,” Michael began and even the third time hearing it the sentence didn’t make any more goddamn sense.

“Why?” Geoff interrupted him. He sounded calm. He didn’t feel calm. Not all. “Why did you get in a helicopter to steal cars?”

“Well, we had to get to the cars somehow,” Gavin added. His shirt was torn, the reason Geoff was able to see his bandaged chest in the first place. He was trying his hardest to ignore the tire marks visible on the torn shirt.

“How did you get from the helicopter to the cars?” Geoff asked instead. He knew the answer. He feared it nonetheless.

“I mean Trevor was flying so Gavin jumped first and I went afterwards and then…”

“How did you jump?” It really didn’t matter but some very small and very desperate part of Geoff was hoping that he might get through to either of them by repeatedly making it clear just how idiotic their entire story was.

Michael just shrugged again though, wincing slightly when he moved the cast around his arm.

“Parachutes,” he said, his tone making it very clear that he considered this to be a stupidly obvious answer to an even more stupid question.

“So you brought parachutes,” Geoff summarized. “In the helicopter. That you took to steal some cars.”

“The parachutes worked perfectly!” Gavin protested as if the parachutes were the goddamn problem here, Geoff thought sourly.

“And how exactly,” Geoff said, raising his voice as he ignored Gavin’s interjection. “Did you break your arm Michael?”

He didn’t have to ask what happened to Gavin. The tire marks on his shirt told that story very clearly.

There was a rather long silence coming from Michael and if Geoff believed even for a second that Michael was capable of feeling something even resembling shame, he might had thought that Michael was embarrassed.

“The fucking tree was in the way,” he then mumbled. “It would have worked fine if that tree hadn’t been there!”

And that was just enough for Geoff.

“No!” he exploded. “It wouldn’t have! Cause you took a fucking helicopter to steal some cars! You were parachuting on a highway to steal some goddamn cars! There is absolutely no way this would have worked! In what world would that have worked?!”

He was really getting into it, his voice growing louder and louder because if those two had ever deserved to be screamed at, it was right now for this absolutely travesty of a carjacking plan they had come up with.

“Uh, Geoff?” Jack interrupted him suddenly from the couch.

“What?!” he snapped.

Instead of answering she stood up and handed him her phone.

“Got a message from Jeremy. I asked if Ryan and he could get the cars considering those two idiots messed up,” she said, jerking her head towards Michael and Gavin.

Suspicion rising inside of him, Geoff looked down at the phone. It wasn’t just a message. Rather it was a picture.

A selfie actually of Jeremy, giving a thumb up and grinning widely at the camera. Ryan was next to him.

His was hand gripped around the cyclic stick used to fly a helicopter. Behind him a blurred landscape was visibly. Both he and Jeremy were wearing parachutes.

Getting the cars!!!!

Jeremy’s message read below the pic.

And Geoff gave up and just buried his face in his hand, groaning loudly because some days you just couldn’t win.

#Fake Ah Crew #Achievement Hunter #Gavin Free #Michael Jones #Geoff Ramsey #fic #fanfiction #let's be real parachuting to steal cars would be hillariously stupid in real life