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I’ve always liked old movies and romance… Sabrina, Gone with the Wind, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, 1950’s Princess Sissi ecc.. Everything that every healthy human wouldn’t watch twice (actually I’ve watched them at least 4 times each)

But I came out to be most likely a non-relationships person, unable to “love” and pretty much a bad girlfriend. So I’m into weird things with guys that I don’t know what they think of me ‘cause I’ve got my head up my ass when it comes to lovers and people in general.

So yeah It’s easier all teeth and tongue, rough and sweet.

Something you don’t have to deal after… much. And even if you’ll feel all weird you can drawn that feeling in more rough kisses and shared booze, as long as the other dude/tte wants that too.

Then you’re fucked.

Also go check my instagram 4 more drawings if u wanna, please don’t post it… luv u - wolvesfeared

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I don’t know about you, but I’ve never lived through a pandemic before. I’ve never lived through a massive historical event before. I’m glad I lived through Gay marriage being legalized and the first black president and first family. I honestly thought that was going to be it. I never would have predicted pandemic. 

There’s a lot I’ve learned from COVID-19. Here’s just 10 lessons: 

1. I am capable of great change 

2. I value creativity and right brain activities more than left brain 

3. My faith is important to me and I use it to support and comfort me during this time more than human people 

4. I value my internet friends and they’re more reliable right now than the friends I find in real life 

5. I love walking more than I love working out 

6. I really hate breakfast and breakfast foods 

7. I was forcing my life before, not living it the way I wanted 

8. My family home will always be my base for emergencies, anywhere my mom is I want to be 

9. I prefer telecommuting because I get more work done and I feel more in control and efficient

10. I don’t need as much structure and routine as I thought, I like being a free spirit and having a few goals and seeing if I achieve them and being okay if I don’t

What have you learned about yourself during this pandemic? It’s a good exercise to take your mind off things in the outside and focus on you.

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I have a lot of friends.

My friends have a lot of issues, but I try not to judge my friends.

So, one friend, she has a low face. When she’s down, she gets real down.

She drags me down into this abyss, into this hell, that I can never ascend from.

So, when she’s low, I must nap throughout the entire weekend. I must sleep, or she will make me start crying.

What am I crying about?

I’m crying about everything I’ve ever cried about. Ever tear I have shed compounded with ever tear I am shedding and every tear I will shed.

Sometimes she doesn’t make me cry.

No, she’ll just throw me off that routine to pick on another friend.

See, this friend needs a routine, needs to keep busy or she’ll act like that low friend and she hates that.

This routine is super exhausting for me, but she has to keep me moving or my low friend will drag me down faster.

But you know this routine just revs up another one of my friends.

So, this friend is super high, she talks super-fast, faster than my brain can keep up with

This friend lives in the clouds, has seen the sun and the moon and knows Pluto is a planet.

This friend makes my heart race.

This friend makes me think I’m on top of the world and I’m happy, but this friend will also push me down from my throne of clouds.

This friend keeps me up at night. But only sometimes.

Sometimes she lets me sleep.

But that’s because she has this cruel plan cooked up with my low friend.

Then I have these nightmares, right? These nightmares make me wake 2 or 3 times in the night. These nightmares are full of torture and pain.

But don’t worry, in a few hours I’ll forget about them and my friends can bring them back again.

But my routine friend doesn’t like this because what if I don’t wake up on time and I am late for nothing because I never leave my apartment because I never have anything to do anyway but I need to keep busy.

My low friend and my high friend love messing with my routine friend. It’s really a lot of fun.

However, let’s not forget the friend that worries about everything.

She’s the reason I am terrified to leave my apartment, but my routine friend needs me to get to class on time and my high friend wants to see the clouds again and my low friend is hoping I’ll get hit by a car.

This friend worries about my parents that are overweight and my sisters that are autistic.

This friend worries when I don’t go to the gym or when I’m invited out to do anything.

This friend gives the worst pep talks, but she means well because she thinks she’s helping.

This friend worries that I’ll never find love because I can never be sure people even like me.

This friend is why I have to meditate twice a day to keep all my friends quiet. This friend started it all.

This friend has been with me the longest and introduced me to the routine and the low and the high.

This friend thought these other friends could help.

However, this friend has a couple of cousins that sometimes visit and though I don’t have room for them, they always stick around.

One cousin is the inferno. She’s always on fire because she’s always pissed off.

What’s a good day?

She pushes all this anger onto me so what am I angry about?

Well I’m angry about everything the low friend has ever had me cry about.

This other cousin spends their entire time on this cliff walking the edge because no one else is struggling like this cousin is.

This cousin wants to jump, but…

This cousin does everything she doesn’t want to do. She works a job and goes to classes for things she hates.

Man, does that sound familiar.

I quickly became friends with these cousins, so they moved in permanently.

So now I live with low, high, obsessed, worried, angry, and stress.

But there’s this one other friend.

This friend treats these other friends like puppets.

This friend has all the control which is weird because I met this friend August 2017.

This friend takes the wishes and the worries of all my friends and solves them with the death of me.

The stopping of my beating heart and death of my brain.

This friend isn’t really a friend, this friend hates me with all the fiber in her being.

See, this friend wants me dead and this friend wants me to do it.

This friend wants me to disappear and I want this friend around because this friend is so interesting.

This friend wants to go against the whole system.

Man isn’t meant to inflict pain on himself, the body will try to preserve itself.

This friend believes that’s bullshit.

This friend calls me a bitch, a whore, a slut, and any other name she can think of.

This friend hates me, and I love her because she’s unlike any friend I’ve met.

She gets all the other friends revved up and they all try to control the light of my mind at the same time.

So, at the same time I’ll want to lie in bed all day and hope I never have to get up, but my routine is calling my name as others try and fuck it up which makes me angry and stressed but I also have all this adrenaline, I just wanna fly in the clouds, but I also wanna take a knife to my heart and make myself end.

But all of these friends are a part of me.

And this friend that wants me dead is what keeps me going each day and makes me function.

She turns all the friends against each other by making them all vie for control of my body and that’s why….

I stand here today with a 4.0 GPA

Why everyone I know can depend on me to get things done.

Why I demand control and respect.

Why I’m okay with being alone and lonely.

Why I am blessed.

Why I can stand here today, is because of the friends in my head.

My friends: Depression, Anxiety, Obsession, Paranoia, Stress, Anger, Suicide.

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waddup with tumblr flagging every young Kells content as sensitive? shut the fuck up and lace the fuck up already bro @tumblr

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For everyone who follows my podcast, this one is for you.

So I normally upload every Thursday, I am changing the upload day. I don’t know which day yet. I need to work around everyones schedule so it’s quiet when I record. I do know that I will most likely be recording a few episodes on Mondays. So I know which day I will record, it’s just the when I will upload. As soon as I figure it out when I will tell you! Thanks for understanding, I will try to figure this out asap. 

Also, if there is anything you want me to talk about in an episode, please tell me! I would love to hear from you. 

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I think about Kells telling Pete “not to be lame but I think you’re great at both” way too much nd also the way his voice sounds so soft because he genuinely loves and cherishes is bestfriend i just- my poor heart oh my god

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following [popular tumblr user] usually: pretty cool and fun. dog pics, cute hair, cool facts

following [popular tumblr user] every few days: they have started a new niche discourse and it is the only fucking thing on my dash. what it it this time? is it robots? is it log houses? is it philosophy? maybe! is it tagged as a long post despite being a mile of arguing reblogs of one original post? NO

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