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#lets call Helena Bonham Carter and Danny Elfman while we're at it
lonelyvomit · 3 years
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you know what. @ Tim Burton where you at. we need you. our boy needs you. it’s time to take Johnny and make another batshit insane weird ass film that the hollywood will absolutely loathe and the people will love. you can do this. you can save the shitshow that the world has turned into.
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dukereviewsxtra · 4 years
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Duke Reviews Xtra: Alice In Wonderland (Tim Burton)
Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Another Duke Reviews Xtra Where Today We're Continuing Our Look At The Movies Of Disney...
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Where Last Sunday On Duke Reviews, I Looked At Walt Disney's Animated Version Of Alice In Wonderland, So On Today's Duke Reviews Xtra We're Going To Be Looking At Tim Burton's Version Of The Tale...
In This Remake/Sequel To Lewis Carroll's Tale, A Now Teenage Alice, Returns To Wonderland Or Underland As It's Called In This Movie (It'll Be Explained Later) To Save It From The Tyranny Of The Red Queen By Slaying The Jabberwocky...
Will Alice Win?
Let's Find Out As We Watch Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland..
The Film Starts As Alice's Father, Charles Kingsleigh Trying To Sell The Idea Of Creating Trading Posts In Asian Lands Including Bangkok To Some Of His Men When His 6 Year Old Daughter Alice Wakes Up And Tells Him About Her Adventures In Wonderland...
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(Start At 0:46, End At 1:06)
Of Course, Dear Dad Eventually Dies As We Cut To A Few Years Later Where A Now 19 Year Old Alice Is Attending A Party On Former Friend Of Her Father's Estate As She Faces Not Only The Stifling Expectations Of The Society She Lives In But A Marriage Proposal From The Friend's Son Named Hamish, Who Alice Dislikes...
But During The Proposal, Alice Sees A White Rabbit Which She Chases And Falls Into A Large Rabbit Hole When She Follows The Rabbit To A Large Tree...
Crashing Into A Large Room Full Of Doors, Alice Drinks A Bottle Marked Drink Me Which Causes Her To Shrink Out Of Her Clothes...
And Yet She's Wearing Clothes For Some Reason, You'd Think She'd Be Naked When She Shrinks, Yet When She Grows Out Of Her Clothes In The Queen's Garden She Does Rip Them And Is As I Said Basically Naked With Flower Bushes Censoring Things...
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But Like The Animated Version, She Left The Key Up On The Table So She Has To Eat A Cake Marked Eat Me Which Causes Her To Grow...
However, Unlike The Animated Version Where She Cries Creating A River Of Tears Before Drinking From The Drink Me Bottle Again, She Just Drinks All Of The Drink Me Bottle And Just Unlocks The Door So She Can Enter Into A Vast Garden Residing In Underland...
There, Alice Meets The White Rabbit (Voiced By Michael Sheen), The Doormouse, The Dodo (Voiced By Alfred) And Tweedles Dee And Dum (Played By Nardole From Doctor Who) Who Take Her To See The Caterpillar (Voiced By Severus Snape) Who Goes By The Name Of Absolem..
Once There, They Show Alice A Calender Called The Oraculum, Which Details Each And Every Day In Underland Since The Beginning Where They Reveal That On The Frabjous Day, She Is Supposed To Slay The Jabberwocky With The Vorpal Sword...
But Having No Interest In Doing So And Believing This Entire Thing To Be A Dream (Throughout Most Of The Movie) The White Rabbit Asks If She's The Alice Of Legend Only For Absolem To Tell Them Not Likely...
But Before They Can Get Alice Back To Her World, They're Attacked By The Cards Of The Red Queen And A Creature Called The Bandersnatch...
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(Start At 0:31)
Alice Walks With The Tweedles For A While Until They're Captured By A JubJub Bird...
Meanwhile At The Castle Of The Red Queen (Played By Mrs. Lovett From Sweeney Todd) The Red Queen Screams In Anger Over Someone Stealing One Of Her Tarts, After Discovering That It Was One Of Her Frog Footmen, She Has Him Beheaded As The Knave Of Hearts (Played By..)
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That...
Tells Her That Alice Has Returned To Underland, Which Leads Her To Assign A Bloodhound Named Bayard (Voiced By Peter Pettigrew)...
Which Actually Surprised Me, As Timothy Spall Has One Of Those Voices You Could Pick Out Of A Lineup And Instantly Know His Voice From His Work In Both Harry Potter And Sweeney Todd But Here I Could Barely Tell It Was Him...
As I Was Saying, The Queen Recruits A Bloodhound Named Bayard To Find Alice In Exchange For The Freedom Of Him And His Family...
Wandering Through The Tulgy Woods, Alice Is Soon Met By The Cheshire Cat (Voiced By Stephen Fry) Who Bandages Her Arm Before Taking Her To The Tea Party, Where She Reunites With The Doormouse Before She Meets The March Hare And The Mad Hatter (Played By Johnny Depp)
And Whether You Like Or Hate His Mad Hatter, He Still Is Pretty Good...
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But When The Knave Of Hearts Crashes The Party, The Hatter Quickly Shrinks Alice To 6 Feet Tall And Hides Her In A Teapot As The Knave Talks With Him...
(The Knave) Don't Make Me Fight You, Depp Like I Did David Letterman...
With Bayard Finding Alice In The Teapot, The Hatter Persuades Him Not To Reveal Alice's Location, Which Leads Bayard To Lead The Knave And His Troops Away...
Travelling With Alice, The Hatter Reveals How The Red Queen Rose To Power On Horunvendush Day And How Not Only Did He Lose His Family (Which We'll Discover More About In The Sequel) But The Vorpal Sword...
With The Queen's Cards Quickly Approaching, The Hatter And Alice Race To A River As The Hatter Places Alice On His Hat And Tosses Her On It Across The River As He Is Captured By The Knave And His Cards...
Found By Bayard, Alice Persuades Him To Take Her To The Red Queen's Castle To Rescue The Hatter As She Crosses A Moat Of Severed Heads...
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To Get There As Bayard Throws The Hatter's Hat Over The Wall While The Queen Is Playing Croquet. Found By The White Rabbit, He Gives Her A Piece Of Upelkuchen Cake To Make Her Grow Again. However, She Eats Too Much And Not Only Grows To 8.5 Feet High, But Grows Out Of Her Clothes (Like I Mentioned Before).,.
Introducing Herself As Um From Umbridge...
Is That A Town Run By Dolores Umbridge?
And Saying That Everyone Makes Of Her Over Her Height, Alice Avoids Suspicion As The Red Queen Accepts Her Into Her Court...
Being By The Red Queen's Side, She Watches As The Hatter Is Brought Before The Queen...
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(Start At 2:30)
Retrieving The Hatter's Hat Later, Alice Returns It To Him As Bayard Informs The White Queen (Played By Princess Mia Of Genovia) That Alice Is At The Red Queen's Castle...
Asking The White Rabbit Where The Vorpal Sword Is, He Tells Her That It's In The Domain Of The Bandersnatch...
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(Start At 1:06, End At 1:10)
So, Getting His Eye From The Doormouse, Alice Goes To Face The Bandersnatch Only To Run Into The Knave Of Hearts Who Tries To Seduce Her...
Wow! Who Knew George McFly Was An Asshole?
Eventually Escaping The Knave, Alice Gives The Bandersnatch Back His Eye So She Can Get The Vorpal Sword From It's Case But Unfortunately It's Locked...
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But That Doesn't Stop The Bandersnatch From Healing Her Wound That He Gave Her Which Is When She Discovers That He Has The Key To The Case Around His Neck...
So As Alice Gets The Vorpal Sword, The White Rabbit Grabs The Oraculum While The Red Queen Hears About The Knave Coming On To Alice...
Knowing That The Knave Would Never Betray Her The Queen Orders Um's Capture As Alice Returns To The Hatter And The Doormouse To Free The Hatter But She Is Confronted By The Knave Who Orders The Cards To Arrest Her For Seduction....
The Hatter Tries To Hold Off The Knave And The Cards As Alice Tries To Get Away But When The Doormouse Accidentally Says "Run, Alice", The Knave Now Knows The Truth That Um Was Actually Alice....
Running Into The Courtyard, Alice Is Ambushed By Cards But Luckily She Is Saved By The Bandersnatch Who She Rides Off With To The White Queen's Castle...
Once There, The White Queen Shrinks Alice Back To Her Normal Size, Before She Has A Talk With Absolem Who Now Says That She May Not Have Been Alice When They First Encountered Each Other But She's More Like Alice Now...
Held In A Cell Next To Bayard's Wife And Pups, The Cheshire Cat Appears To The Hatter And Asks If He Can Have His Hat After His Execution Today,
However, When The Execution Happens, It's Revealed That The Hatter Was Actually The Cheshire Cat...
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(Start At 1:39)
Arriving At The White Queen's Castle, The Hatter Is Glad She's The Right Size As The Cheshire Cat Gives The Hatter Back His Hat Before Asking Alice How Her Arm Is..,
The Next Morning On The Frabjous Day, The White Queen Tries To Find A Champion As Many Come Forward But Of Course, The Prophecy States That Must Be Alice Or No One At All....
But Still Not Wanting To Fight, Alice Runs Into The Castle Where She Once Again Encounters Absolem As He's About To Go Into A Cocoon So He'll Become A Butterfly..
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(Start At 1:38)
With Both Armies Meeting On A Gigantic Chess Board, The Jabberwocky Finally Reveals Itself To Alice...
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(Start At 1:21, End At 4:05)
With The Red Queen's Guards Following Her No More After The Deaths Of The Jabberwocky And The JubJub Bird, The Cheshire Cat Crowns The White Queen As Queen Of Underland As She Banishes The Red Queen And The Knave To The Outlands...
But Unable To Live With The Red Queen, The Knave Tries To Kill Her Only For The Hatter To Stop Him By Throwing A Knife Out Of His Hand As They're Carried Off...
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Collecting The Blood Of The Jabberwocky, The White Queen Gives It To Alice Saying That It Will Send Her Back To Her World, So Saying Goodbye To Her Friends, Alice Drinks The Blood And Is Sent Home...
Climbing Out Of The Rabbit Hole, Alice Returns To The Party Where She Refuses To Marry Hamish (Only For Him To Become A Minor Bad Guy In The Next Movie)
And Instead Becomes His Father's Apprentice, Voyaging To China To Place A Trading Post There. Saying Goodbye To Her Mother, A Blue Butterfly Lands On Her To Which She Believes To Be Absolem As It Flies Off Ending Our Movie....
And That's Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland And Why Do People Hate This?
Yes, The Changes Can Be Upsetting And The Girl Who Plays Alice Isn't That Great. But The Story And Characters Are Interesting, Both Johnny Depp And Helena Bonham Carter Are Good In Their Roles, And The Environments Are Amazingly Designed So I Say See It..,
Tune In Tomorrow As We Look At The Burtonless Sequel, Alice Through The Looking Glass, Till Then, This Is Duke, Signing Off...
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