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mokeonn · 5 months

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if you dont mind sharing, what are some of your favorite ska songs/bands?

I will admit I am not a huge band person I tend to be more of a "pick whatever random songs sound good" person, so I can't recommend any good bands. I also listen to Ska Punk, which is a subgenre of Ska... and Punk. So I am not a good authority on Ska songs to listen to I am just someone who is banned from being passed the aux cord...

But some of my favorite songs include:

No Children - Ska (cover)

Quinto Patio Ska

Everything Went Numb

S F D D

And songs by Reel Big Fish tbh. I know I just said I don't listen to specific bands but Reel Big Fish has some pretty good songs like...

Sell Out

And their Take on Me cover

Here's my disclaimer, though: I am not into music subcultures I just listen to whatever sounds good (and jazzy punk with horns sounds good), so I could be giving absolutely awful music recommendations that anyone who is especially into Ska (and more specifically Ska Punk) might find egregious. I personally just grab whatever song sounds good and add them to my forever long playlist.

Also the Jabberjaw (Running Underwater) song from Pain used for the Cartoon Network Boomerang Groovies is probably the reason I enjoy Ska punk so much, and it has been in my playlist for years now:

If nothing else in this list interests you, I require everyone by law to listen to Jabberjaw Running Under Water by pain and watch the Cartoon Network Boomerang Groovie video of it. I used to watch Boomerang a million times, and this was probably the only Groovie I really enjoyed watching and didn't go to the bathroom during.

#im very embarassed about being open with my music tastes because I feel like a poser 100% of the time #but im not really claiming to be a part of any music subcultures im moreso just someone who likes what I like #and is banned from using bluetooth or the aux in the car #so im owning it #here's some songs I listen to that are ska (specifically ska punk)#and if someone who is more knowledgeable on the topic and is a part of the subculture wants to add on please do #and if you trash on me for my music tastes that is fair #half of my songs on my playlist are indie songs of debatable quality ya know?? so im not the best music authority #i like my punk songs with horns ya know??#i need some brass in there #trust me my number 1 song on spotify was Lucky Ducks from the Bobs Burgers movie #and my number 2 song was the instrumental version of Lucky Ducks from the Bobs Burgers movie #and no other bobs burgers songs #so I am NOT the person to ask for music recommendations #I once annoyed my family by adding europop to the roadtrip playlist #I have the entire Cats broadway cast recording on CD and my 3 favorite songs on my main playlist #am I talking myself down because I am not confident in myself and scared of judgement from others for my music choices? yes #but also I am speaking from experience that no one lets me touch the aux cord for a REASON

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seravphs · 8 months

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I’m scared to post knight Gojo thank you for being so nice to me about it bffs 💛

#I’m nervous! I’m so nervous!!#thinking about the John Green quote about potential and fear of failure #knight Gojo is really scary to me because the last project I think people really liked from me was Teen Dad Gojo #which I've made my peace with even though I used to be really embarrassed of it but if I peaked at sixteen #I could not continue to live with myself that's so embarrassing #knight gojo is my attempt at showing how much I've improved but what if I finish it and I realize I actually haven't improved at all #you don't understand how much this idea horrifies me #I don't want to be frozen in time like any living thing I want to grow!#I'm not normally this insecure about my writing because I am at heart just a blockhead who just bulldozes through life driven by impulse bu #I think Mao talked about this once but there's a chart for growth and at some point your ability to criticize your own work exceeds your #ability to create because you're good enough to recognize quality but not good enough to manufacture it #anyway! knight gojo is going out tomorrow and I'm going to stop being a baby about it and if it sucks it sucks and I keep learning #thanks for being here with me guys <3 let's have a sleepover after I drop the fic <3

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loz-the-noob · 2 months

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This is Jay (short for JJ… which is short for Jellycat Jack), and he loves adventure so much that he went on one even before coming home for the first time!

#I AM SO GLAD I TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS he was the last one in my local store <333 #His fur is this lovely off-white that makes every picture look like it has a filter on and he has this inexplicable nostalgic aura #I love hiiiimmm #DON’T let people talking about the fur quality put you off it feels like it’ll wear better than the stuff they use on bashfulls #and it’s still really soft #and easier to clean! As I learnt the hard way when he fell in the mud</3 #seriously it brushed right off it’s great #it feels sort of like the stuff they use in tassels on like rugs and cushions and stuff #plushblr #Jay!#jellycat jack #Jellycat 25th anniversary

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callixton · 6 months

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my theatre taste has gotten exponentially more particular in the last two years and yknow what i think that's a great thing

#could elaborate on this. a lot. but it really comes down to like. that's what getting to see more theater does for you!#it lets you make more decisions about what you like and think is good quality!#i was gonna say more pretentious but it really isn't that bc like. that has far too many associations that i don't share #and also a lot of my favorite theater is the grittiest kind #but idk. if you only have access to a couple of proshots online and then live theater suddenly becomes much more accessible of course your #- tastes will change #that said maybe it is a little bit of pretension bc sometimes my classmates opinions on theater make me insane.#mostly just what they think is boring. holy shit grow up n mature n see the world thru eyes besides ur own. sorry <3 #ted talks

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sheepie-self-ships · 2 months

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augh the audio commentary is worth it

#aqb lets go! 🩵#I got the aqua.bats su.per sh.ow season 1 dvd as a late birthday present and GOD #it’s great #the BTS are higher quality than the ones on youtube and they talked about thangs #Kae and I have been watching for like 2-3 hours I think

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cogitrot · 8 months

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I got my first Making Your Name 7!

#fallen london #Dangerous wasn't NEAR as bad as the others. I've been on Watchful 6 for weeks and I'm still only on Starring in Tales of the University 17 #let's not talk about Persuasive. I do one level at a time and try not to think about it at all in between.#Shadowy might not be so bad also though #maybe #depends on those rare successes I guess if all I have to do is get that quality satisfied and at least it's not 3 whole actions per option #(NO idea what they were thinking with that one)#but yes! I did it!#I was poking around the First Coil thinking THIS was the grind lol. I've been conditioned.#also glad I didn't end up having to do Mr Inch's stupid hit either #I basically just ignored his 'offer' entirely #I figured I'd be forced to address it to progress but I didn't want to deal with it until then #but I never was!#Double yay!#...should probably finish the becoming POSI thing I've been sitting on for a couple days for RP reasons #gotta get that velocipede

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nolanhollogay · 1 year

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CHOI TWINS THROUGH THE SEASONS ⤵

in season one, the twins are shackled by their parents expectations and this is shown through the clothes they wear, along with their hair, with both of them dressing like your stereotypical prep, rich kids, and wearing their hair long because that is how their mother likes it.

season two is the start of them taking control of their lives, and this is reflected through their dramatic style changes/hair cuts. achilles cuts their hairin an act of rebellion, while artemis - trying to lessen the negative attention achilles will recieve from their parents - dyes her hair black and gets a streak, something she’s always wanted but has been forbidden to do. (they then both go blonde, for fun.) artemis continues to dress very preppy (because she enjoys it when it’s not being forced upon her) while achilles begins to dress in a more goth/alternative style.

in season three, both twins are in a very happy place mentally, and this is partially attributed to them finally being able to express themselves in a way that reflects their personalities and brings them joy. achilles grows their hair back out and dresses in a kitschy, eclectic mix of masculine and feminine styles, while artemis embraces her more masculine, sporty side, while still remaining the prep we know and love.

@witchofinterest @richitozier @praetoravila @wokenhardies @hiddenqveendom

#achilles choi #artemis choi #choi twins #hsmtmts oc #mine #unofficial artie intro.... best girl <3 #also sorry about all the text it doesnt let me do small text on my computer #also i dont want to talk about the quality i was fighting for my life

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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months

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...

#ugh. the fucking struggle of a thing i will not talk about. its just an off shoot of one of my many #obessive compulsive tendencies. it just makes me think of my dad. like hes also a fucking anxious person but hes like. i have the thoughts #but then i dont let them control me so its not an issue. and he knos i get caught up on the structure and identification of problems so #hes always like. its only an issue if its like ruining ur life. and hes right and i definitely meet the standards of both of those things #bc im fucking thinking abt these things constantly. its in my head literally all the time. every second of the day #and i mean i guess this specific thing isnt ruining my life but it certainly isnt helpful and in combo with everything else my quality of #life is not what it could b. idk it just feels all empty which is y i became a fucking workaholic #bc i just get so fucking bored stuck in these stupid patterns that at least i can make myseld useful as i drive myself nuts #it also doesnt help that im still trying to unfuck my leg and not being very successful bc theres this fucking voice in my head like #keep moving. u cant sit down. walk around. dont stop. dont stop. dont stop. i can feel the muscles getting irritated again #its unbearable bc it doesn't really even hurt. i just kno im fucking it up for myself and i have all this excess energy that i cant get rid #of bc i cant run. anyway its just irritating #i probably triggered myself by watching the bear all day lol. its so good but it reminds me of working in a shitty banquet hall when my #brain was on fire. and theyve got that toxic workahoism that i so desperately cling to. and in a weird way i can relate tho their fucked #up mom when everyones just trying to help but shes so fixated on this thing that's clearly causing her distress but shes just screaming at #them. like i mean i have insight into my issues and i try not to let them affect anyone but me but its so hard when its like. i have to do #this thing. i have to do it. i kno its bad. i kno its fucked up but shut the fuck up and let me do this. u dont fucking understand #but i wouldn't say that bc i kno its irrational. ugh. i also have to go to a lab dinner tomorrow. maybe #no time has been listed so idk. its for my leaving so im technically the focus. hate that for me. whatever. itll b fine #at least the place is within walking distance and its like less than 3 weeks until i leave #unrelated

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koalas-koalas-everywhere · 1 year

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“The Donna” is like the writers reached into my brain with their dirty little fingers and pulled out everything I hate about Donna’s character and made it into a plot point.

#Suits TV #Donna Paulsen #The Donna #season 6 #Teeth Nose Teeth #let us spend 2 of the 3 minutes of screen time Donna's allotted to talk abt how awesome she is without showing it #the remaining minute will be about her providing a sounding board to solve someone else's problems #or to use her hand-wavy telepathy to provide the audience with insight into the minds of men too closed up to talk about it themselves #because god knows she hasn't had a plot line of her own since freaking Huntley #now to be clear she was GREAT when she started out #she used to earn the shitload of praise she gets on the regular #the last time she did that was getting the Plaza for Rachel and Mike's wedding #the bit where she blackmailed/impressed Stu was also pretty great but in a way it was also telling us that she's awesome instead of showing #and now she's getting a freaking Alexa made after her because she's so awesome even someone who never gets out of his floor #and we've never seen interact with her can tell and thinks having a Donna-Jarvis would be a market success???? please #thank you for reminding me of all her great qualities! the fact that you needed to put that into dialogue definitely speaks well of your wri #writing and confidence in it!

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uzicel · 7 months

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#｡ enchiridion #｡ notes app #｡ of paradise #let’s try to make this of paradise ok? :3 ok?. o #today is the day for trying to find the positive qualities aboyr myself!#please god this shouldn’t feel so fucking impossible should it? it does though and i have little to show for it #i think about finding the good in myself in the way people talk about girls they don’t really know after they’ve kiIIed themselves #and they get a spread in the school newspaper. or yearbook or something #i’m bitching again. ok. i have a cute face at least. and i love my mom. and i can draw. sorta #it’s enough to just be here right? can it be good that i am here? that’s some shit a textpost would say #and i’d have to think about it real hard #but half the time i cannot even do the bare minimum #why should it be good for somebody like that to be here? what is contributed?#i almost wish i had this same hatred for others but no #only me! cause i think i’m special i guess? but no. nobody deserves to have anybody talk to or think about them the way i do about myself #i dont fucking think about others this way. for everyone else i excuse and i try real hard. not always the best at it but i try #because everyone deserves to be treated like they are good. everyone deserves to be sought and listened to and understood #and it kills me that i cant always im so sorry #this is daunting right now. but i will start a list. like i tried to do years ago but came up blank which is fucking pathetic #but yes okay! let’s list ok? it’s ok let’s list #i try ok?

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nanaslutt · 6 months

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Can we get a part 2 of when reader asks satoru and suguru if they fucked before

of course ml!! tysm for asking <3

part 1 here~

contains: fem reader, fluff, crack, choking, hair pulling, anal sex (gojo gets fucked) spanking (geto spanks gojo once), dirty talk, overstimulation, dacryphilia if you squint, dare i say sub satoru, sub/dom dynamics if you squint, suguru and reader are competitive, u tag team gojo together

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

“so, when we’re you guys gonna tell me you’ve fucked before?” you asked, raising your eyebrows

gojo froze in place, pausing his efforts to get a towel to clean you up, he slowly turns to you, faux innocence on his stupidly pretty face, a big hand coming to rub the back of his neck

both you and geto stare at him, a smirk plastered on sugurus handsome features, heavy hand holding up his head, awaiting his response,

“now what on earth put that idea in your pretty little head?” he questions, hand falling on his hip sassily as he does an absolutely awful job lying

“oh i don’t knoww,” you drawl, pretending to think, “maybe geto telling you he was going to fuck you like it was the most normal thing in the world,” you scrunched your nose, shrugging

“but what do i know!” your eyebrows raised, suppressing a smile,

“nothing, you know nothing,” he replied, wiggling his finger back and forth in front of him like a child

“don’t tell me you forgot satoru, you might hurt my feelings.” geto teased, from his place between your calves, tilting his head to the side, “i know we were a little tipsy, but you told me i was an unforgettable fuck.” he pouted, faking offense, “you weren’t lying to me were you?”

satoru’s hand still on his hip like the sassy man he was, his mouth just flopping open and closing like a fish out of water, trying to think of a quick retort but failing to come up with anything, because the raven haired man was right

he was a truly unforgettable fuck

“now my feelings are hurt, he didn’t say I was an unforgettable fuck..” you pouted, crossing your arms over your bare chest,

“your mouth almost sucked the soul out of me,” he echoed from the hall

he had taken the opportunity of getos attention on you while he was ‘consoling’ you to slip out of the room, walking back in with a few damp towels, “course you’re an unforgettable fuck, way more than that monkey brained freak,” he hisses at geto, sitting next to you on the bed, using the warm towel to wipe his cum from your cheeks,

“oh? really?” geto let his head fall from his hand, landing against your knee, squinting his eyes at satoru while the blonde continued cleaning down your body, wiping up any fluids the two men had left

“think i remember making you cum..how many times was it again? 4? you were shooting blanks before i was even done with you” he smiles, rubbing your knee fondly with his strong hand while staring at gojo challengingly,

gojo looks away from your breasts, staring back into geto’s deep brown eyes,

“n they only made you cum once..” suguru mumbles into your knee,

“woah! woah, okay, I didn’t know i was competing with you in the first place!” you defend yourself, front half of your body shooting up, making gojo sigh as you accidentally knocked his hand back, “‘s not about quantity anyways, it’s about quality” you said smugly,

“n toru here, said I almost made him die so id say my quality is michelin star,” you proclaimed, narrowing your eyes at him before gojo pushed ur torso back down,

“i’m surrounded by a buncha babies jesus christ,” gojo shakes his head, pulling your leg out of sugurus grasp to access your leaking cunt better, pressing the harsh cloth against you and wiping you as gently as he could,

“sorry,” he winced for you in sympathy when you groaned out a protest, trying to close your legs on his hand at how painfully sensitive the rough towel made you feel, “anyways, you’re both good in bed, kay?” he continues,

“when suguru fucks me, it feels like my fucking guts are getting all messed up to make room for his stupidly big cock,” looking up through his lashes at sugurus smug expression, then back down to focus on what he was doing before making eye contact with you,

your arms still crossed over your chest, “n your throat squeezes me so fucking good i thought i was seein the pearly gates,” hand coming up to pinch your cheek, discarding the towel somewhere on the floor, standing once more to look for someone’s shirt on the floor he can put on,

“ ‘fucks’ as in you’ve had sex multiple times?” you stared in disbelief between the two of the large men, before settling your eyes on suguru

continuing your teasing you spoke up again, “and my compliment still sounded better,” you challenged him, a smug looks gracing your features

“you think so?” the raven haired man scrunched his eyebrows together, before turning his head to look straight at gojo’s supple bent over ass as he picked up a shirt and started to pull it over his head, “well, only one way to be sure which of us is really better.” he says to you quietly before standing

coming up behind gojo and grabbing his raised arms, preventing him from putting on his shirt, “hold that thought satoru, we’re in the middle of a little debate right now” yanking the shirt from satoru’s hands and throwing it back to its prior home on the floor,

“think you can help us? hmm?” he whispers, right into the shell of his best friends ear, sending goosebumps down his neck, “we’ll make it worth your while.”

———————————————————————

almost two hours later and the three of you were still in the same room, on the same bed,

gojo on his back, suguru fucking his cock right into his prostate as you face gojo, bouncing on his overstimulated dick, a thick ring of yours and his combined cum on the base of his overstimulated cock,

“c-cant cum anymore p-please- haaah- fuck please!” gojo whimpers out, thrashing his head back and forth on the sheets as fat tears drip down his face, making his cheeks shine under the light, “‘s too much ‘m too sensitive, ohmygodd” he drags, curses spilling from his lips one after another, his hold on your grip sure to leave nasty bruises as his hips fuck into your warm cunt without his brains permission,

“not till you tell us who’s better,” geto emphasizes with a heavy thrust, hand coming up to choke you out while he gives gojos poor hole the meanest treatment,

“‘s me right? ‘ve made you cum inside me so many times.” you slur, voice strained from getos rough grip on your throat

“bold of you to think that was your doing,” geto scoffs at you, “cmere,” he pulls your head back to press your lips together, other hand interlacing with gojos on your hip

satoru whines underneath the two of you, watching you makeout and feeling your cunt pulse around him because of suguru’s expert tongue work in your mouth had him spiraling

your hands coming up to grab geto’s wrist while he hums into the kiss, biting your lip between his teeth and pulling on it, letting it go before he chases after it and connects your lips once more

“‘m gunna cum again- please fuck- nggghhh i c-cant cum again,” gojo whines, squeezing getos hand and your hip for support as he’s falling into yet another orgasm and fast,

suguru pulls away from the kiss, releasing his grip on your neck as he pushes your lower back down twords gojos chest, “yes you can,” he growls

the raven haired man grabs your hair by the roots and pushes your face into satorus, “help him through it baby,” not needing to be told twice, you grab gojos cheeks with both your hands and slot your lips against his,

“mmmmph- mmm- can-t- p-please i-“ his protests being cut off by your lips, not letting him catch a breath

“got you, cmon” you comfort him in between your assault on his lips, geto reaching between his bestfriend and your body, finding your neglected clit, and rubbing sloppy circles on it, helping you get closer to your own high

“right there with you,” geto grits his teeth, resisting the urge to squeeze his eyes shut and tip his head back, so he can watch the show unfolding in front of him,

“gonna fill up this tight ass while you cum inside them, okay? and you’re gonna take everything we give you, right?” geto’s hips losing their rhythm, teetering on the edge of his own orgasm

gojo just whimpers into your mouth, hes trying to speak, he really is, but it’s all too much, he’s completely fucked out

“need to hear you say it satoru,” he emphasizes with a mean thrust, fucking impossibly deeper into his tight hole,

getos hand rubbing sloppily on your clit almost becomes too much, “yes! yesyes please ohmygod- gonna take it- shit-“ gojo’s whiney voice gets out just before he feels your cunt start to squeeze him,

“toru! fuuuuck me!” you whine, the blondes hips mindlessly fucking up into you helping you ride out your high as he cums so fucking hard, bordering on painful as spurt after spurt of his warm seed fills you once more,

and he’s gasping, barely coherent broken moans of both of your names on satoru’s tongue

geto not far behind you as he stills, balls deep inside gojos ass, the last push he needed seeing the two of you cum all over each other,

“yesssss fuuuuck” he clenches his teeth together hard, toothy grin emerging on his face, finally letting his head fall back, eyes following suit, rolling to the back of his head, “take it f-fucking t-take it.” fucking each rope of his cum deep into gojo’s ass

all three of you bask in the aftershocks of your intense orgasms, core clenching and unclenching around gojo’s length as you finally come down, picking your head up from gojos neck and smiling at his current state,

he was sniffling and gasping, red faced, tears decorating his lashes, making them look like glitter, he appeared more fucked out than ever

geto behind him slowly pulls out his softening cock, and gojo lets out a long groan of overstimulation when he does so, digging his fingers into the fat of your sides and wincing, “fuck, please don’t move yet, might pass out if you do” he says to you, his poor dick crying for relief, still snug inside your pussy, twitching every so often against your walls

you giggle, peppering kisses all over his face, he lets his eyes shut, finally relaxing a little as he relishes in the feeling of your soft lips on his skin,

suguru coming around to sit by his head

when you stop your assult of kisses on his porcelain face geto grabs gojos cheek furthest away from him and makes him turn his head into his thick thigh, “so,” geto starts, rubbing his thumb on gojos cheek, “who was better?” he asks, cocky smile finding home once more on his face

gojos eyes shoot open, looking at him slightly panicked, squeezing your upper thighs for support before he speaks, looking back between the two of you,

“i….im afraid if i don’t answer we will never leave this room.” he gulps

geto confirms his fears, tilting his head to the side, face sporting the fakest smile of comfort gojo has ever seen, “you would be absolutely right.”

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sgrplumditz · 3 months

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You had his baby and he didn't know.

She sat with the 3-month-old baby girl. Every time she looked at her she saw His eyes, the eyes of the father of her child that had no idea she existed. A perfect blend of the two, but like her father the most recognizable feature was her eyes. Carrying her mother's soft and feminine features, while having her father's gaze.

She was standing in the kitchen of her two-bedroom apartment preparing to pump her full, plump breasts as her daughter slept soundly in a playpen nearby. Thinking of her daughter had become second nature to her, which meant that her thoughts only revolved around her daughter from the moment she found out she was pregnant. Although she was struggling as a single mother, she did not hold any resentment toward Simon. After all, he had no idea their daughter existed.

Simon was forced to leave for his work responsibilities. He knew he would be gone for a long time, it was a no-brainer that they would go their own separate paths. When her thoughts were not consumed by her daughter they were consumed by Him, she craved the closure, or support, or comfort that she knew he could bring her.

Interrupted. Her thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door. Her protective nature took over as she walked to the front door while holding a bottle in her right hand. Her heart sank the moment she looked through the peephole. "What is He doing here?" she thought before slowly swinging the door open.

His gaze immediately dropped to the pink bottle in her hand, "Why didn't you tell me?" he spoke, his voice was soft, yet it still held a slight tone of hostility. His accent was prominent, something she noticed would happen whenever he was emotional. His eyes looked drained, tired, and confused, but physically he looked as good as ever. His tall stature and wide frame cast a shadow over her significantly smaller build.

"Tell you what?" she said as her face flushed red and her heart pounded in her ears. Her ears also burning.

Simon walked into her apartment closing the door behind him, "You have never been a good liar". There it was, the exact gaze she saw in her daughter staring back at her in His body. That same gaze turned to his sleeping daughter in the pink playpen that was littered with stuffed animals and pink accents.

She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. Anger, frustration, joy, sadness -- it was evident that he was on a roller coaster.

"Why didn't you tell me?", he sighed running his hand through his thick blonde hair. She was stunned, but she didn't know if it was because he actually showed up, or if she was stunned because this was their first time standing in a room together as a family. "Who told you?" her voice came out soft, timid almost.

"Price, but that is beside the matter" he paused to take in the sight of his daughter. "Why didn't you contact me? I gave you my cell for emergencies... th-this is an appropriate reason to contact me." he now sounded frustrated with her. She was gripping the bottle in her hand still, unable to relax and let it go. Was he mad?

He wasn't. He approached her and gently took the bottle out of her hand -- he knew her better than anyone meaning that he knew that she reacted poorly to confrontation. "You're okay, Love" he spoke gently as he held her small hands in his, "Talk to me, please." he pleaded as he guided them to the nearby couch, making her take a seat. There was new sense of gentleness when he spoke. The shift came naturally to him as now he was fixated on protecting the mother of his child in all aspects. His thumbs massaged her wrists gently while he waited for her to find her words. Simon has always been patient, a quality she loved about him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only audible noise coming from the cooing sounds of their daughter. "Whenever you're ready, Love. I'm here to stay," he said with his warm hands still on her.

#ghost cod #ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley

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stsgooo · 5 months

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Look at Him.

✩࿐ summary: your attempts at reentering the dating scene is foiled by your ex-husband.

warning(s): past relationship, clingy!gojo, ex-husband!gojo, co-parenting situation, crack fic. wc; 1.6k

pairing(s): gojo satoru x fem!reader

a/n: this is purely just a goof fic because i've put nothing but angst out there so far sooo have a laugh. hope yall enjoy :3

“So, what do you do for a living?”

"A teacher."

"Oh, wow! What grade, subject?"

"Uh, highschoolers and the subject kinda varies on the day."

"Like a substitute teacher?"

"Um....sure, yeah! Substitute teacher."

"That's awesome. Mad respect, kids can be demons."

You were quickly discovering that the dating field had changed in the five years that you had been married. An endless back and forth about what someone did, what's their favorite color, what's their hobbies. Boring questions that you would ask your students on the first day was used in over the table date conversation. Until, until, they got to that question they so desperately wanted to ask.

Would you want to take this back to my—

There was a vibration against your thigh as your date started to go onto a monologue about how much he disliked kids. In all honesty, you couldn't really remember his name. The introductions had been awkward and a little nerve wracking— you were almost sure he had no idea who you were either.

You tugged your phone out of your pocket and resisted the audible sigh that threatened to leave you when you saw the notification.

Satoru please tell me why my beautiful, radiant, amazing, intelligent daughter just said her mommy is on a date. feeling sick to my stomach, don't tell me this is true.

You rolled your eyes. Your ex-husband had always been so overdramatic. His main focus was always on the bit that could come from a situation. However, this was a quality you do used to admire about him. His ability to make any situation seem like it was a funny happenstance that you'd never encounter again.

Now, it was nothing more than a nuisance.

Satoru oh my god, you left me on read. it's true. it's true. i hope you know i just threw up. i threw up everywhere. i might die. at least, tell me he's ugly. please god let him to be ugly.

A sigh, you typed out the quickest message you could without your date asking what's wrong.

You I hope you're not ignoring said daughter to ask me about some date. I'll be home later, please refrain from texting me.

You were about to set your phone down when another text came through. This one appeared to more distraught than the last.

Satoru o h your tone. it's over. it's really over. i might just kill myself this is the worst night of my life. y/n, i'm genuinely feeling sick. please, is he ugly? he must be boring because you're texting back.

You were almost inclined to remind Satoru you both had been divorced for a year already. That this was bound to happen and you two had, in fact, spoken about it months into the divorce. You had played with some 'what if's and there was a mutual agreement that the other wouldn't get jealous and be dramatic about the other getting in a relationship whenever the time comes. It was a surprisingly adult conversation.

You should've known better when Satoru proudly proclaimed he didn't care who you got involved with.

You Satoru, we talked about this. We're adults and we're divorced. Please bother someone else, like Suguru.

Satoru i don't wanna talk to suguru. i wanna talk to youuu (;﹏;) i can't believe you've done this. ten years. ten years of loyalty. im sick to my stomach.

You You asked for the divorce.

"Is everything okay?"

You eyes snapped up from your phone and towards your date. He had the good grace to be wearing a relatively concerned expression, eyeing you wearily.

You quickly tucked your phone back into your pocket, ignoring the insistent vibrations it gave to smile apologetically. "I'm sorry, my daughter had an accident and I had to, you know, send a quick text to her babysitter." It was easier to explain away a daughter than it was a clingy ex-husband who was well in his dissent into insanity. Really, you were doing this guy a favor keeping him in the dark.

However, his face still paled and he straightened. "You have a kidI'm so, so sorry. I just went on a two minute rant about how much kids are equivalent to demons." He seemed to spiral as he pressed his hands against his face, uttering curses to himself. "I get so nervous with these dates. I truly meant nothing by it."

You smiled in amusement, "It's no problem, really. I'm not exactly disagreeing." He peeked from between his fingers and blinked at you dumbly. "Just because I'm a parent doesn't mean I don't agree. I mean, my kid can be a bit much sometimes. I love her, but she's a lot like her dad in that way."

It always made your chest blossom. The way Saori was a carbon copy of Satoru. From the rambunctious personality, to the piercing blue eyes, and white hair. Your genes hadn't won in the battle, but you were almost grateful. Satoru tried to tell you that she had your smile and your wit, but you weren't entirely convinced. She was Satoru and Satoru was her.

You were extremely lucky that he was a good dad.

"Oh? Do you mind me asking if her dad's still around?" His tone was indication enough: a daughter and an ex of some kind was pushing it for him.

You tensed up, feeling deep regret already. "Uh, yeah." His eyes shifted away and you reached forward, taking his hand. "But, he's not, like, crazy or anything! He's just a good dad."

Your date chuckled nervously. "I-I just don't want to get involved in some, um, some family dynamic."

You thought it was a little presumptuous of him to think this would go that far, or he'd get in the way. But you were too focused on defusing the situation.

"Oh, no, it's not like that! We've got a healthy balance, y'know? He does his piece, I do mine— that's it!"

He scrunched his face. "So... an open relationship?"

"No!" You press your hands against your face with a huff. "No, we're not together anymore. We just co-parent."

He opened his mouth to further question you when your phone vibrated very audibly. His eyebrows raising. "Your daughter?"

You sighed. "Please give me one moment."

With jerky movements, you pull your phone from your pocket. The assortment of messages that came where spread over the ten minutes you decided to ignore him.

Satoru okay, you've got me there. but my big heart is breaking. i hope he's ugly and he smells. okay, i spoke with suguru and he said i'm an idiot who should apologize. in my defense, i'm a little itty bitty drunk. and no, saori is not awake. papa put her to bed before bringing out the whiskey. im so sorry my beautiful deity. that not ugly, not smelly man is so lucky to be in your presence and i hope you have a good date. also i hope he gets hit my a car. (＾▽＾)

You I'm going to kill you with my bare hands. Genuinely, count your days, Gojo Satoru.

Satoru hot, hot, hot!!! (●´□`)♡ did he actually get hit by a car?

You Is there something you want?

Satoru him dead. and you home :((((

You You don't want me home. I swear to god, if you're on my couch, drinking when I get home, I will ruin your life.

Satoru promise??? ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡ but, actually, i wanted to ask your opinion on something

You For real?

Satoru for realsies. [Image Attachment]

Completely blinded by your irritation, you don't even hesitate to open the picture as it loads. Although you regret it the moment it does.

It's a picture of Satoru. He's at what seems to be the beach (must've been the fun activity him and Saori were going to join Suguru for), his sunglasses were on the top of his head, and he was grinning at the picture. One hand was resting against his pectoral and the veins in his hand was prominent. An obvious attempt at being charming and flirtatious. It was working too.

If it weren't for the fact that you knew him and were his ex, you might've just swooned.

"Oh, my god, is that him?" Your date was staring at your phone with wide eyes. His face even more pale than before. He started to shake his head as he stood, snatching his jacket from the back of his chair. "No way. I am not getting involved! I'm sorry, you're a nice woman, but I know when I'm not winning. And I'm definitely not winning against that."

Your eyes widened considerably, "What? No! Please don't leave. He's an idiot, I swear there's nothing—"

"He is... a hunk. I am not. In no shape or form am I at all comparable to that. Look—" He reached forward, grabbing your phone and holding the picture up to be beside his face. "Look at the difference! Model who has won Japan's hottest man at least eight times before he's 30 to me— Look at him!"

"It's not even like that!" You snatched your phone back and stared at him in frustration. "He's my ex, I do not want him!"

He waved his hands in front of your face. "I know how this will go. You think you like me and then your super hot and super sexy ex-whatever makes you realize the familiarity is good. Then I get dumped." He straightened, latching his hands onto the lapels of his jacket. "I just realized I am a side character. In my own life. Goddammit."

He barely glanced at you as he paid for the dinner, then left as quickly as he could. Still, you didn't even know his name.

Satoru oooo taking you awhile to respondddd still in love with me? (人◕ω◕)

#♡ oneshot #✩࿐ t writes #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fic

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