…and ended up nowhere.
Remember when I said I would continue drawing and sketching every day? Yeah, didn’t happen. I got bored really quick. Remember also when I said I was going to keep meditating every night? Yup, you guessed it, I broke my streak and scrolled through TikTok for two hours every night until I fell asleep. And lastly, my writing gold? Went back to being buried. That’s not going anywhere any time soon.
This inconsistent energy is really draining my drive and motivation. I made a one-week schedule and tried sticking to it (keyword: tried), but even that didn’t work. I don’t know how to discipline myself. I used to be able to do it so easily–the only reason why I even finished my undergraduate thesis was because I gave myself a strict schedule to follow and I did follow it–but now it feels like nothing works. Maybe I need to start losing weight again, I think I’ve been letting myself go the past few months and I’ve been unconsciously carrying over the loss of discipline to other aspects of my life as well.
I will be going back to work this week. Just thinking about it is making me tired. I really need to change my diet, but I’m not even in charge of the food that I eat.
I don’t know. This is going to turn into a rant so I’m just going to stop here while it’s still a decent entry.