#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

kankri’s playlist is nearly seven hours long, and yet here i am not appreciating it. please like this for a lyric starter !!

#ill be on/off here and my other b.logs i am still working #*me vc* if you aren't ahead you're behind #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

someday i will talk about. actually screw it i’m not doing anything rn. alright gang let’s talk about kankri and gender identity

so yes i do agree that it makes no sense for trolls to have a concept of “trans” as far as the common anatomy hcs go. however idc. kankri is transmasc nonbinary. in humans.tuck as well dw

i’ve mentioned before that kankri just pretends to be an indigo when he begins speaking to the others. he didn’t know any of them irl, seeing as even his having access to a computer was touch and go and also frankly beforan culture is so insidious that i do doubt most of the alphas would be capable of being his friend without first learning that he isn’t fun to cull jkdjsd. in the same vein, he also decides that he has no reason to present as his assigned gender when they don’t even know him. so bam he/him pronouns and MAYBE a name change. i’ve not decided on that yet. idk that kankri would even call himself trans at that point tbh.

kankri is very aware of how he can compare his blood color and his gender identity there, and he does use that as a talking point later on. i don’t think he learns the word “nonbinary” until after meeting everyone, and at that point he’s v comfy w the pronouns he uses and they/them becomes like...a secondary option. s/n if you want to use they/them in threads etc (bc your muse seems like the type who would or bc you just want to idk) you totally can and i’ll swap to match

while i’m here, i really don’t think he wants to make much of an event out of his coming out; he does love labels, and if anyone asks, he’ll provide those labels, but he doesn’t ever really come out bc he doesn’t like that type of attention. i also want to discuss uhhh gender presentation. kankri does struggle w how he presents himself in gender just as he does w everything else--it’s a general fear that people will argue if he doesn’t do sm correctly. if he didn’t have this, he’d probably be a lot more open to femininity, but like...he does. he is a bit more androgynous than most fanart has him as tho...good for him.

a last note. i’ve mentioned this before BUT kankri’s argument w p.orrim abt gender dynamics was such a cheap way for h.ussie to be all “wow isn’t he terrible” and it was very stupid. however i will accept it, so long as we frame that scene as kankri arguing for the sake of arguing solely bc it’s p.orrim. he is perfectly capable of having civilized convos w her (yes, even abt gender) but she interrupted his convo w k.arkat so he was in a bad mood smhh

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted]. #study. ⟼ a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell. #firefox shut down while i was typing this smh #internalized transphobia //

[irninfidel]

okay i can do drafts now i just needed to share this w all of you bc i love him so much

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

three things kankri says that make me laugh every single time i think about them

“all scuttles of life”

“choo choo catastrophe”

“#herding all these g*ddamn woolbeasts #fuckin pain in the ass”

#THE LAST ONE KILLS ME. THOSE ARE YOUR FRIENDS BABE #also ive mentioned this before but the way he talks to #m/eenah always KILLS me #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

WAIT another point. i’m not game w misgendering for the sake of timeline accuracy or w/e SO even tho any interactions where kankri is still being culled (ex. pre canon, beforan rebellion) would take place before he’s openly trans, we’re ignoring that. also someday i’ll unpack my thoughts on beforan society re: this topic but it is 3 am

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

alpha trolls be like *gossiping*

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

every day i think about writing the signless and every day i hold myself back

#mostly bc i dont do drafts on the ones i do have #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

i thought abt the alpha trolls for too long and got so emo that i had to disappear for three weeks my bad y’all

#also can someone tell me what the new keyboard shortcut is to make superscript text work #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

so let’s talk about how kankri feels about his cullers. warnings for abuse and complicated feelings about abusers beneath the cut!

first off, kankri holds a lot of contempt for his cullers. he is very bitter about the entire situation, and justifiably so. he is much less forgiving towards them than he is towards most highbloods; that is, he won’t give them nearly as much of a pass for their behavior as he would others. however, it is much more complex than just pure anger.

for instance. he does miss them, at times, especially early on in the game. like...all his life, they were there, and now he’s playing this scary game and trying so hard to seem mature and capable, and he misses them. it’s one of those complex feelings where like...ofc they abused him, they manipulated him, they took his entire life from him. but they also took care of him when he was sick, and read him stories when he was young enough to appreciate them, and also would’ve made sure he never had to worry about being murdered lmao.

he feels terrible about this, and he doesn’t like to talk about it. he understands logically where these feelings come from, but he has trouble applying that logic to himself and then ends up just feeling really guilty.

the next aspect is like...this deep desire to Prove Them Wrong. kankri, as we know, is very intent on Impressing everyone. as it stands, it’s never going to be enough for him, because really, he just wants to impress his cullers. obviously, they’re dead and gone, so it doesn’t matter; he also knows that they’d never be impressed, anyways. still, he’ll daydream about it quite often. he just wants them to look at him and say that they were wrong. like...if he had the opportunity to see them again, he would, but it would only make things worse. he’d have to let go of that feeling to really grow.

if someone asks kankri about his feelings and he’s not in a mood, he’ll give you a very flat answer along the lines of “I don’t think about it” or some tangential discussion. if he is in a mood or w someone he trusts, he’ll admit that he’s angry. but trying to move on. only certain people will ever hear about his missing them. same w his wanting to impress them, though that’s only bc even he doesn’t really recognize how strong of a feeling that one is.

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted]. #study. ⟼ a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell.

[irninfidel]

Instead of rbing that meme I will just tell y'all what's up. R.ufioh <3 K.ankri

#my biggest weakness...with like NO content #for fair reason they barely talk #but still...wow #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted]. #mobile.

[irninfidel]

i posted a pale k.ant.una fic and it would just be against my morals to not promo it so...support my brand

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

yiffy’s character design is so cute tho can i just take it and have it

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted]. #hs2 // #hs2 spoilers //

[irninfidel]

i am being self indulgent. before kankri meets mituna how much does he know about working/how are goldbloods presented to him by his cullers... hold on i need a new ask for this next question

i love you :/ SO kankri hears the same things about work as everyone else--it’s a privilege, golds are so lucky to be working for the empire in the way that they are, and we are all so grateful to them! ofc, his cullers want very little to do with any workers that pass by, so kankri never actually interacts with them all that much. he’s just kind of quietly grateful, because that’s what he’s always been told he should be.

he definitely has no concept of what work is. he knows psionics have something to do with electricity (on a very broad spectrum), so he’d assume work has something to do with that, but beyond that, he has no idea. that’s partially why he’s so quick to say that psionics’ work sounds terrible--everyone else got their propaganda while knowing that sometimes golds get hurt, etc, whereas kankri didn’t know about any of that. hearing about what work actually consists of is like eye-opening for him and one of many ways that he realizes how much he dislikes beforus.

now as for how goldbloods are presented! ofc he respected workers, but his cullers were always very uhhh upfront about how rude/gross/impolite they think most psionics are. this is probably part of why kankri ends up being so drawn to people like mituna tho djksfj what a backfire he meets mituna and he’s like “well yeah he’s loud and kind of gross but he isn’t TERRIBLE”

#heiroic #idk why i format when i know t.umblr will just delete it #study. ⟼ a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell. #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

kankri is so funny fksdj today i am thinking about when latula brings up his old memos and he goes “I don’t remember, actually.” like. it has been literal eternity and yet sometimes when kankri is trying to go to sleep he remembers his old memos and nearly dies again from sheer embarrassment

#relatable #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

human/college au kankri is majoring in poli-sci (with a pre-law concentration) and has a minor in religion/philosophy...he just really wants to be a politician, it’s been his goal since he was like 11 smh. my mans worked real hard to get scholarships and all that, but he like...doesn’t like people to know that? on one hand, he ofc thinks that access to education should have nothing to do with money, but he also recognizes that most politicians do come from wealth, and he doesn’t want to mess with his chances in that regard. it’s a classic instance of his issues with his image interfering with his actual beliefs and morals.

#disgusting. #study. ⟼ a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell. #levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].

[irninfidel]

i appreciate y’all for sticking around for this blog which is just “levi cries about how compelling of a character kankri is and then vanishes for 24 hours”

#levi speaks. ⟼ driven as [redacted].