#levi x female reader

[leviismybby]

Levi gets grumpy when he is horny, especially if you happen to be in public and he can't do anything about it.

You look at him as he sits next to you, his arms crossed over his chest, a frown on his face. His foot taps on the ground and he is galring into the distance. "When the fuck is this event over?" Erwin had dragged you and Levi to some sort of fancy event and Levi loved the dress you were wearing, he wanted it off of you but the hall was full of people, he was hard and painfully so.

"A few more hours I recon." You know what's up with him, he is never good at hiding it around you. You decide to tease him a little by putting your hand on his thigh, Levi groans, shifting in his seat. He leans in to whisper to you, his voice rough. "Stop that shit now before I fuck you on this desk." But he doesn't pull away or bothers to remove your hand from his leg. Instead he sneakily puts his hand under your dress and squeezes your thigh in return. "This desk? That's not practical, there is a bathroom here tho." That was not an option, he hated public bathrooms and you knew it but you really wanted to se just how railed up he was. After a few seconds, Levi squeezes your leg again. "Bathroom it is."

#levi #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x fem!reader #attack on titan #aot levi #captain levi #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x y/n #levi x reader smut #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi x female reader #levi x fem!reader #aot x female reader #aot x y/n #aot x you #attack on titan x you #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan smut #aot levi ackerman #levi aot

[sydneyyuu]

Eren: "anyone up for the hot tub?"

Armin: "yeah sure."

Mikasa: "yes me."

Jean: "no."

Eren looked over.

Eren: "what? Why not jean?"

Jean sat down and looked out to the hot tub

Jean: "I'll get pregnant in that water"

Everyone froze and you and Levi almost choked on your food.

Eren: "uh...the hell jean? What are you talking about"

Jean: "well I'd rather not be in the same water where Levi railed y/n last night."

Levi: chokes on his water.

#attack on titan #levi ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman x reader #headcanons #captain levi #levi #levi aot #levi ackerman x female reader #aot levi ackerman #eren yeager #jean kirstein #levi x female reader #levi x y/n #levi x you

[angelltheninth]

Levi Ackerman Discovering His Breeding Kink

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, established relationship, breeding kink, mention of pregnancy, creampie

A/N: Nope, I have more Levi thoughts, I'm not done yet.

As messy as sex can be he can't bring himself to pull out cause it makes an even bigger mess

It's better to have the mess focused on just one place

But when he pulls out he finds that he still doesn't want his cum getting out

It takes Levi a lot of time, a lot of fucking his cum back into you before he connects the dots and realizes that it's not just the mess he hates but that he also wants to make his cum stay inside of you for the sake of making a baby

You didn't talk about it at that point and it's hard for him to bring it up

He tries to mention kids casually, saying how he thinks you'd make a great mom one day

Levi's mistake was talking about it during sex more and more often

You do try to see if that's what he really wants during pillow talk, talking about all your friends having or planning it now that things are calm

The moment you start talking about it he's on you, lifting your hips into the air and leaning against you to pin you down, his hips rutting into you from behind until his cock is drained of all his cum and it's inside your pussy instead

Knows there was a chance of you getting pregnant every time when you had sex but it's only now that he's really hoping it happens

#levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot levi #attack on titan #captain levi #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x y/n #levi x reader smut #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x you #levi x female reader #levi x fem!reader #levi ackerman x female!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #aot x y/n #attack on titan levi #attack on titan x reader #levi aot

[lucysarah-c]

Sometimes I don't think about Levi fucking, but rather in the decorous ritual of the aftermath. I envision a Levi who, after passionately fucking with you as if there were no tomorrow, the veins in his hands and arms popping as he loses control of his strength, overwhelmed by how good you make him feel, how much he desires to give his all, to go deeper, harder, faster. This "before" Levi, utilizing every ounce of his power to make you cum as many times as possible, the "after" Levi of buried between your legs as you squeeze his head and tug his locks slightly painful of how much he's overstimulating you. The "after" Levi of sinking his teeth into any soft flesh he can find on your body, his hands choking you firmly enough to make your head tilts backward.

This "after" Levi is the one who falls asleep after whispering about how much he loves you and how much of a good girl you've been for him that night, only to wake up a few hours later. The room is still dark, he has a significant amount of work to do, and though he wants to stay with you, he knows he won't fall back asleep. This Levi, with messy hair, gently tries to ease out the knots in your hair caused by him, gladly taking responsibility for them. The Levi who quietly moves himself from your side, planting a final kiss on your shoulder before softly kissing your head and ruffling your hair. He can't help but quickly check your breathing, ensuring you're not a dream but indeed there with him. A soft sigh of tiredness mixed with reassurance that you're alive. Like a mother leaving a child in a crib, he carefully removes himself from the bed, adjusting the blankets over your shoulders. His touch is so soft that you don't even notice him leaving due to your tired state.

Once again, the routine of him grabbing loose sweatpants to put on, no underwear because his cock is till too sensitive for all he did—wild sex transitioning into soft kisses. Levi walks to the bathroom to clean himself, avoiding a shower since the plumbing is old and would make too much noise late at night, potentially waking you. This is his love—he is willing to endure being dirty for a few more hours for your sake. He places a hand on the door of the adjoining room, ensuring it doesn't make a noise as he close it to disturb your sleep, before throwing himself into his office chair.

A single candle provides subtle illumination, careful not to disturb you even though you're not in the room. He forces himself to find the willpower to read and work on paperwork, legs wild parted and tilted to the sides, perhaps with one thrown over the desk. 'Cause once again, he's sensitive. If there's still warm water, he might make himself a cup of tea but refrains from going all the way to the kitchen. On other nights, he might light a cigarette and let it rest on his lips—those are the hard days. He works and waits, waiting for an appropriate hour to finally shower, shave, because he's too pale, and his dark hair shows growth quickly. He anticipates seeing you wake up, looking at him, and playfully blaming him for your tiredness and soreness, all the while sporting a silly smile.

"Did you pick up breakfast? Oh, you shouldn't have," you'll say, and he'll complain about your tendency to oversleep. But the truth is, he loves it—him freshly showered, towel around his hips as he picks up his uniform, the tips of his hair dripping, your hair a mess as you move around the room with a cup of tea, bare legs, his shirt on and nothing under. He leaves, off to train the recruits, work, or attend to business, all the while thinking of the ritual of the afterglow, eager to return and find you sleeping in his arms, compelling himself to leave the bed once again.

Wanna joing my tag list? Here!

#levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot levi #attack on titan #captain levi #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x y/n #levi x reader smut #levi x female reader #levi x fem!reader #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman snk #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi aot #aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #attack on titans #shingeki no kyojin #snk levi #aot #snk

[nelapanela94]

Twinkling giggles filter from the living room to the kitchen and you smile. The entire house smells like cookies and chocolate chips. You place the tray on the stove and slip off the cow print oven mitts.

Levi and Izzy are lying belly down on the carpet, passing back and forth wax crayons, rolling out feet of craft paper, surrounded by scattered brushes and temperas. Who would’ve thought that Captain Levi would become so lenient? Specks of colors pinprick their old rags.

“You’re not that tall, dad.” Isabel steals the crayon from the grunting Levi and adds extra inches to your legs and hers. “That’s better.” She beams at him as her legs pivot up and down at her knees.

“Since when have you grown up so much?” He pats her head and dishevels her black silky hair.

“You can see it in my doorframe.” And Levi feels a twinge in the chest. Time unreels so fast. If she keeps going like this, she will soon catch up. And he will soon be scaring away dusty boys from his little princess. He’ll welcome them at the door while sharpening a knife. Hiding bodies is not that hard.  

“I’ll add some clouds and trees.” His mini version chirps and he panics. He pushes the roll, unfurling drawing room and starts scribbling with the black crayon. Big wobbly letters he can manage with three fingers. At the bottom, he traces two lines and puts his name under the right one, and Izzy’s under the left one, and signs his slot.

“Oi! Brat, I need you to sign this.” He points above her name.

“What does it say?” The three-year-old stares at him, raising an eyebrow.

“It doesn’t matter.” His tongue tchs against his teeth, and he reaches out for the bottle of red paint and a brush. “Just give me your hand.”

“We don’t sign contracts we haven’t read yet.” Levi frowns, slipping his good eye all the way up from your feet to your face, taking his time in the middle. Izzy jumps, lured by the cookies as you set the plate on the table.

“What is a contract?” she asks as crumbles of cookies fall on the tuft.

You sit next to Levi, planting a ghost kiss on his cheek, and then address the toddler. “It’s an agreement. You promise something when you sign it.”

“Can you read what it says?” She breaks the cookie in halves and hands the smaller side to Levi.

Brat.

A winsome smile lights your face, and Levi rolls his eyes. “I, Isabel Ackerman, promise not to grow up so fast because it makes dad sad.” You turn your head toward him. “That’s so sweet Levi.” And wipe the debris from the corner of his lips.

“I will sign it, dad!” Isabel claps and wedges between the two of you. She falls on her knees and offers her palm to Levi.

“You sure about that?”

She firmly nods, “I don’t want to make daddy sad.”

#levi ackerman #aot #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #snk #snk levi #shingeki no kyojin #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #dadvi #dadvi syndrome #papa Levi #Levi ackerman x you #Levi ackerman x reader #levi x female reader

[soanliawriter]

I just know, Levi isn't good with his words and let alone expressing them too. The best he can do is probably say short words to you like, "pretty" or "beautiful" or when he's angry, he isn't the type to just explode that anger onto you, but if he slips and raises his voice at you he'll immediately hug you and whispering in a soft tone, "I'm sorry, forgive me for raising my voice baby"

When it's sexy rime though, that's when I can see he speaks a lot!

Examples would be:

"That's my beautiful baby, feel my cock deep inside you"

"I love you baby, I'm cumming inside you okay?"

"F*ck yes baby, cum for me please, please"

"Such a good girl baby, f*ck you make me feel so good, I'm about to cum deep inside you"

Like, imagine him saying those words, at first flabbergasted you are, since he is known to be a man of few words, guess Levi is a man of a lot of words in bed! 🥴😉

#levi ackerman #levi aot #attack on titan #anime #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan smut #levi smut #aot #smutty smut smut #levi x female reader

[kikarouflames]

Cold heart and warm hands.

♡Levi x reader♡

⭒Tags: nsfw, smut, depressed reader, hurt/comfort ,emotional sex

⋆Tw: depression, self hatred

Your days go by, months pass and seasons change there is not much that can convince you there is any meaning in living.

Stress from day to day life leaves your mind totally in disarray. No matter what the season outside is your heart and mind is clouded by misty grays. You are almost invisible to this miserable world, where people live and provide meaning to their worth. You are here lying in your bed, watching and observing the mundane life, no one makes your heart flutter or nothing is there that would make you believe that life is as worthy as they say.

But there is this beautiful raven haired man, who is the only one you're close to.

He is the only person that adds meaning to to your life. You both met on a random day.

He sat by your side in the train you were taking back to your home, the place that seems so empty and caves the hallow of your heart even more. He asked if you're okay, you were in fact not. You were crying just some hours ago over pitiful things, beating yourself up. You couldn't hold it in, never having someone to tell your misery nor your fear. This stranger gives some unfamiliar sense of trust that you have forgotten long ago, when was the last time someone asked you if you're okay. You broke down and told him everything that is not right.

He sat there, heard you and when his station arrived he passed you a note with his name and phone no. You can't believe someone who actually listened, and sat there not judging you. The weight that lifted of your chest was something you didn't even knew was there.

Levi Ackerman,  his name. It's beautiful just like him. The note said, call me if you want to talk more, not to be a creep or something just a stranger who wants to help. I understand.

You were incredulous at first, your scars from broken trust are aching again, but this stranger, Levi, he seems so reliable. You think to yourself, it is weird to trust someone this much when you have just met. But you take a step forward, ignoring the burns from the chains that always held you back. And reached for him.

Since then, The magnificent black haired men brightened your days,

Since then, the grays in your life were not painful but loving.

Everytime he talks to you, there are emotions. You can feel. Damn, you can finally feel. It's beautiful, even if only for a moment.

He kisses you like you are the most delicious fruit. He treasures you like your the most worthy and precious thing. He worships you like you are his God, the greater being. He looks at you like you are the only sight the warms his gray eyes.

His hands are so pale, but these hands holds your entire life with a care that no one provided you with.

☆Nsfw part:

He sees you there, sitting at the corner of the couch. Darkness of this room can't compare to the darkness that has nestled its presence in you. He hurts to see you with that same look again. He yearns to see you smile, your face in deep pleasure, no pain in the world can touch you. The only pain he will allow is one of pleasure, on your consent.

He walks to you, you are once again questioning the rigidity of this world. He swoops you in his arms, you yelp. Mist scattered, light has chosen you again, under the gaze of the loving eyes.

"What are you doing?" you ask,with a soft giggle

"Nothing, can't a man coming back from tedious work has his treat, hmm. Can't wait you see your beautiful self under me, darling" Darling , you blush a little at the choice of his words,

"I missed you", he says quietly in such a soft voice. You look up, his eyes, they look....sad?... why?

He is sad, that he can't be there for you every moment of the day, heal your wounds, disappear the mist of self hatred and doubt. He is so devastating by the thought of you suffering alone.

"I missed you too", you say, voice almost breaking.

You missed him so dearly, you don't want him to look sad...oh, it in you to infect everything with your woe and throw perfect moments in rue.

He takes you to bed, gently puts you there. You are focused on him, he is focused on making your days bright again. From the moment he saw your eyes he was bewitched, in a sense of beauty behind the vulnerability you offered him that day, since then the more he got to know you the more he started to like you. There is something about your broken self, that for him is a perfect. He likes you for who you are, he likes that you have the unique qualities and interests, that you are more human than he could except.

He kisses you so desperately, not like a man hungry , but a man who is devoted to his God, to kneel and worship at your alter. Desperate to tell you how much he loves you, how your insecurities doesn't matter to him. How he would give anything to plant the seed of hope in your heart. He feels happy just by looking at you. More glad if he is the reason behind your smile. He needs to make sure no thought hurts you in this moment he is here.

He fingers you, makes you moan and leaves you needy for his cock, and then he kisses all the beautiful textures on your skin, kiss you forehead. He slips his cock in and watches you face melt and glaze over with pleasure. With every thurst there is, the more you forget worries, the more you become your self, the more you feel real, the more you want to just lie there and cry and not in sadness but overwhelming happiness.

He thrusts at your sensitive spot, you moan loudly, "you look so beautiful when you are like this, you make such pretty sounds" you whimper.

"You feel so good" he moans lightly ,"fuck,you are some dear to me, what would I do without you?" his voice is so sincere, you open you eyes, see him above you, panting, eyes focus on you and utterly devoted. He drills into your wetness, your eyes and head rolls back.

his pace increasing, he runs his hands through your hair and grips them gently and lifts your face making you look straight at his gorgeous face, " you, Don't you ever hide what's bothering you from me." His voice so serious and his weight of words so evident.

He hits the spot with extra pressure, you are so high up in the heavens, his words almost pulls you back, tears flows out of your eyes carrying all the pain away with them.

"Do you understand ? I am here for you, nothing will ever hurt you, dear." He says looking directly in your eyes so lovingly. You cry in pure happiness and relief. You can trust him, he will be there.

"I understand" you say, in a voice so broken yet so soft.

He smiles ," good girl" and kisses your forehead, nose, chin and finally on your lips. This time the kiss can almost melt you.

The ecstasy explodes, you come. And Levi comes just tad later. You both go some more rounds, for now there is just him. The only shade of gray in your life that has ever given you this immeasurable joy is staring back at you, and looking at you like the only thing that ever mattered.

His slender fingers massages your scalp, your eyes roll back, he smirks and kisses you breathless once more. He wraps your body in blanket and tells you all the wonderful things that melts the coldness in your heart, the warmth feels so familiar it's almost a dream. His hands are so warm, no fireplace will ever compare. You both entangle and become one. Nothing ever mattered more than this, life never felt so beautiful before.

#levi x depressed readers #levi x female reader #levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi smut #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #levi aot #levi attack on titan #levi #shingeki no kyojin #snk #levi fanfic #smut #hurt/comfort #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x y/n smut #kikarou writes: smut #kikarou writes smut

[devil-queen]

Thinking about how Levi would be such a good boyfriend while you’re on your period 😭

You would try your best not to sulk too much or act like a baby around him, you didn’t want to be too needy, didn’t want him to see you like that (you sometimes wished you were as independent and strong as he was all the time).. But he always knew when you got your period, sometimes even before you told him. The way you would start tossing and turning at night due to cramps or rubbing your sore lower back during the day. Being a little quieter than usual, a little more distant. Being a brat and suddenly catching an attitude or getting your feelings hurt for no reason 😭

“Hey.. what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Levi, it’s fine.” You looked away, not wanting to be rude to him just because you were feeling unwell but not wanting to ask for anything either.

Then it would click. He wouldn’t say anything, he would just walk away for a few minutes and come back with the perfect remedy for whatever you were going through. Whether it was a heating pad, pain meds, a warm cup of tea with your favorite book, your favorite comfort meal or treat, your pet to cuddle with. It’s like no matter what you needed in that moment, he would bring it. He would hand it to you or set it beside you without a word, walking away and letting you indulge in it on your own for a couple of minutes. Let the heating pad warm you up or your favorite treat cheer you up a bit. Then, in a few minutes he would come back, bend down to place a kiss on your brow and gently brush his fingers through your hair. Maybe rubbing light circles down your lower back if you were laying down.

“Feeling better?”

“…… yeah….. thank you”, you say sheepishly, looking away from him. Embarrassed that you just wanted him to take care of you deep down but didn’t wanna ask.

“Can I sit with you? Or you need some alone time?”

You patted the spot next to you gently and smiled up at him. He would sit close to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head. You would always lean into his touch and fit perfectly in his arms, loving how his strong arms felt wrapping around you. You always felt so safe and warm with him. Then, the next few days wouldn’t be so bad. No matter how bad your symptoms were, he was there to make it better. He would be even more caring and considerate than usual. Running you a steamy shower every night with your favorite candle lit and washing your hair for you if you didn’t feel up for it. Giving you gentle massages and extra kisses and cuddles without you having to ask. He was always more affectionate when you were on your period because he knew the level of comfort it brought you, and nothing made him happier than seeing the little blush and smile that swept across your pretty face every time he gave you this extra attention. He would do it a million times over if he had to, he would do anything for you.

((After the first 3 months of you being together he started taking note of the exact dates so he wouldn’t catch your bratty attitude without being prepared 😭 poor Levi lmfao))

#YES I’m on my period please kill me now #was I awake at 3am last night with cramps wishing Levi was here to take care of me yes #did I cry 5 separate times today yes #did I think about this exact scenario all day today when I was dying at work yes #if anyone ends up reading this pls don’t judge me I’m not a writer idk 😭 #I just love him so much #levi ackerman #Levi #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi aot #levi attack on titan #snk levi #levi x you #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x female reader

[samoankpoper21]

Jealous Levi

A/N A courtesy clerk is basically an entry level position in a grocery store. There will be some terminology that may seem confusing but I will try to explain it within the scenario. It will also be going back and forth between yours and his POV^^ Thanks!

Word count: 2280

You were the light to his world. Literally. Your light shone around all those who came into contact with you; you were known as the happy virus. All the associates in the store could be having a shitty day and once they heard your loud booming voice throughout the small room, encompassing it, it almost felt as if there was a sigh of relief; the atmosphere and mood visibly lifting.

*Flashback*

"Hey Levi," the cashier with a buzz cut named Connie approached. "Erwin wants to see you in the office."

"Tsk." He was just about to begin his shift and wanted the last few seconds of peace before dealing with customers. He clocked in, made his way towards the back of the store through the double doors where the produce department was, and gave two short knocks. "Come in." Levi opened the door and Erwin, the annoyingly tall, blonde store manager beamed. "Levi! Just the person I was looking for."

"What do you want?"

"Glad to see that enthusiasm of yours never curbing."

"Just spit it out. I'm already clocked in."

"We have a new hire starting tomorrow."

"That's above my pay rate."

"I need you to train her."

"What's wrong with Hange? Connie? or even Jean?"

"Because Hange is Hange, Connie is a cashier, and Jean works in the produce department."

"What about Eren? He and Mikasa can train her. They're both courtesy clerks anyway." Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed, and answered with, "Levi, you know how it is with those two: they're a two for one deal. I can't have 3 courtesy clerks off the floor just because one of them is in training. You're the best trainer that I have and I'm not only saying that because you're my best friend I genuinely mean it. All the courtesy clerks that you've trained have become the core reason why this store runs smoothly."

"Armin?"

"You know I have to keep him up in the front as the customer service representative. Come on Levi. Are you done with the theatrics now?"

"Tsk." Levi crossed his arms and sighed in defeat. "Fine. But don't think our friendship has any weight on my decision." Erwin raised his arms in the air chuckling. "Alright, alright I won't. Thank you."

"Whatever."

The next day as Levi was restocking the shelves he heard Erwin's booming voice. "Ah! Here he is. Y/N this is your trainer Levi Ackerman. Levi, this Y/N. She will be shadowing you for about 3 weeks and then she should be good to fly solo. Is that reasonable Y/N?"

"Yes! I will try to pick up everything quickly sir! Just think of me as a sponge!" Levi could feel the urge to roll his eyes at your enthusiasm, the hairs on his neck and arms prickling at how optimistic you were. "That's good to hear. I'll leave you two to it." As Erwin was in passing he whispered to him, "Be good to her Levi."

Your POV

You both watched as Erwin walked out of sight. You turned to the short man who was no taller than you and extended your arm. "Hi! I'm Y/N! Nice to meet you!" Levi stared at your hand as if it was a foreign object to him. Just shake my hand you idiot. My arm is getting tired from holding this position. "Sorry I don't shake hands." his raspy, low voice caught you off guard but you quickly rebounded. "Oh ha ha." you awkwardly put your arm back down to your side. "Let's go." he ordered. The day went by in a blur as Levi explained how the store operated, your responsibilities. As a courtesy clerk you were basically serving the customers and cashiers: go backs were the items the customers no longer wanted and the cashiers left in the next check stand for you to put back in their designated area; collecting carts and baskets, performing sweeps every hour, and changing out the trashes. Levi strongly advised that you memorize where most of the items are stocked due to customers constantly asking whether you have x product and if so what aisle it would be in.

Your mom heard your key turn in the lock and peered around the corner from the kitchen. "Hey honey! How was your first day of work?"

"Uhhhh I don't even want to talk about it." Your mom turned the burner low and approached the dining table where you flopped yourself down. "What happened? That rough huh?" You pouted and began to vent to your mom about your day: how the customers showed no mercy when it came to the fact that you were new - they just wanted to know where the damn paprika was and go! "And to top it off I think my trainer doesn't like me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well for starters when I tried to shake his hand he looked at me like i was some cockroach and was like 'I don't shake hands'; and then when I tried to ask him for help he keeps looking annoyed and for some odd reason it made me sad. I don't want to be a burden you know?"

"Honey of course the first day's gonna be rough. Everyone is slowly transitioning into this new phase where they have to deal with this new person yet at the same time maintain the same level that they put in day in and day out. Cut yourself some slack but don't be a punk either. As for this Levi kid just do what you usually do: be yourself. Keep saying hi to him even if it seems like he's annoyed. Eventually he just might say hi back and he's probably going through something that you don't know about."

"Thanks mom. I needed to hear that."

"No problem. Now go wash your ass. I can smell your hard work reeking from here."

The next day you went in determined, not only to memorize as much of the store as you could, but to also try and make a dent in that man of steel. "Hi Levi!" you greeted. "Tch. Grab those go backs."

"Yes sir!" You followed Levi and began to do your job.

By the first month you had already memorized a majority of the store and have built a rapport with the cashiers Connie, Historia, Ymir; the produce department lead Jean who sometimes served as cashier when it got too busy, Marco, and Floch; the meat department consisting of Reiner, Bertholdt, and a quiet blonde who showed no interest through her facial expressions named Annie, and the floral department lead named Sasha. Mikasa and Eren, though kept to themselves, were polite to you as well. Armin, the customer service rep was no exception, his warmth extended and enveloped you since you met him. Forgetting your determination to break through to Levi you hadn't realized that you were slowly melting away his cold exterior. He began to exchange pleasantries and, much like everyone else in the store, found himself drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

Levi's POV

He doesn't know when it started but he found himself watching how you weaved in and out the aisles, smiling and leading a customer whenever they were looking for an item, casually talking with the guys as you were doing your sweeps, his gaze lingering longer than usual. He also took notice of how Jean showed particular interest in you: resting his hand on your forearm, leaning down to your level to "get something out of your hair", slinging his arm around your shoulder in the break room, etc. Levi could feel his jaw tightening whenever he saw Jean touch you. He also wanted to be near you and found himself wanting to help you whenever he thought you needed it. "It's alright Levi I got it thank you." you say to him every time.

He was helping a customer load her groceries into her car when he happened to see you switching out the trash. He saw you struggle with one of the trash bins. Your face scrunched up as you hoisted one leg on the bin, both hands struggling to pull the bag out. Before walking towards you he chuckled at your cute expression.

Your POV

Without realization Levi's firm hand encompassed yours and pulled the trash bag out the bin with ease. "Oh Levi," it took a minute for you to recover and process that Levi actually touched you. "It's ok I got it."

"Pft. You were practically struggling with it."

"But it's heavy."

"What's your point?"

"I-"

"Just let me help you Y/N."

With your guys' schedules coordinating it soon became a habit for Levi to walk you to your car. You loved these small instances of peace; within these instances you found out that Levi was an orphan when his mother passed away, that his crazy uncle took him in before losing him to the state where he filed for emancipation at 14, Erwin was one of his closest friends, and that he really, really loves black tea. He too found out small tidbits about you: how you were being raised by a single mother, you have 3 half siblings that are younger than you, how you absolutely adored Sasha, and that you didn't think much whenever Jean or any of the guys "flirted" with you.

Levi's feelings for you were growing and threatening to spill over. Erwin advised him to take his chance and confess because he has a notion that you too reciprocated the feelings. Levi had his mind set to tell you tonight when you both were off, not realizing you too were fighting the same battle. You had also settled on tonight to tell Levi that he was the first and last thing on your mind, that you wanted to know him on a more intimate level, that now he was the reason you loved coming to work. 5PM couldn't come fast enough. As soon as it hit 5PM, Levi rushed to the kiosk, swiped his card, and rushed into the break room expecting you to be at your locker gathering your things. When he didn't see you there he knew that you were making your rounds saying goodbye to everyone.

Your POV

You went to make your rounds of goodbyes looking for your best friend Sasha. She and you were so similar it was uncanny. Connie told you she was in the back making a bouquet for a customer. As you entered the double doors from the produce leading to the back, you felt a hand engulf your wrist. "Jean! What are you doing? Are you ok?"

"I need to talk to you."

"I was just about to head out after saying bye to Sasha. Can you give me like 5 seconds?"

"No, it has to be now."

"Oh um-"

"Y/N I like you."

"Oh I-" before you could answer, you noticed a figure swiftly rush away from the double doors. Levi. "I'm sorry Jean but I like Levi."

You rushed out the door calling out to Levi. Can he not hear me? I'm pretty damn loud. Is he ignoring me?!

Levi's POV

He felt a familiar hand clasp his shoulder. He looked to see you doubled over, panting. "Shit I need to do some cardio," you straightened up asking, "Didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Sorry but I have to go."

"Eh? You're not going to walk me to the car?" you pouted.

"Why don't you get your boyfriend Jean to do it since you like him." he spat out. He saw your lips trembling, your fists balled at your side. "I like you you idiot! I was going to confess to you today but Jean ruined it and now," your voice broke, you sighed and quickly looked away. "Never mind. Forget it. I'll see you tomorrow Levi. Have a good fucking night."

Your POV

You felt so embarrassed. Stupid even. You thought you read the signs clearly. Armin and Mikasa were practically encouraging you, confirming that Levi's gazes lingered longer when it came to you; that it was only you that he helped and showed his "soft" side to. You too were convinced that there was something there, maybe it was just an illusion. Before you reached your car you felt a hand gently, firmly grab your wrist. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Let's just forget what happened and move on." His hand gently squeezed your wrist. "I don't want to forget and move on. Y/N I too was going to tell you that I like you as well but when I saw you and Jean, and the way he was holding you, I just assumed that you had feelings for him and got jealous. I'm sorry." You turned to him and brought your hand to gently rest on his face. "I don't like him Levi. I made that clear. I like you. I wanted to tell you but the moment got ruined. "

"So what now?" You leaned forward and gave Levi a quick peck. When you pulled back it took everything in you not to laugh at his expression: his eyes were big as saucers, a blush creeping across his face. "Good night Levi. I'll text you later." Before you could open your car door, Levi spun you back around and whispered in a low tone, "That's not a proper goodbye to your boyfriend." You gasped when he grabbed both sides of your face and passionately kissed you. When he pulled back he was beaming while you were blushing furiously. "Goodbye Y/N I'll text you tonight."

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[dingdongitsbees]

BLACK-EYED SUSAN | LEVI X READER HUNGER GAMES AU

Chapter 22: An Ode to Death and Her Kind Ways

Previous - Next - Master List

Tw: suicide attempts, drug addiction, drowning, death WC: 14.2k Ao3 link

First person version can be found here

“Didn’t you wake up feeling that you had no future? Didn’t you walk around drained of all meaning, without the right to even the slightest danger? Didn’t you have to promise, a hundred times, not to die?” ― Rainer Maria Rilke; The Prodigal Son

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.

.

Levi’s hand was tight around yours as you led him to the others. His eyes stayed down, following the knotted roots of trees and paths stomped through the long grass, the blades gradually beginning to bend back to their original height. The sun was rapidly falling, the last few rays glowing through the trees ahead. You glanced at him, watching the way his hair swayed side to side. He hadn’t said a word since he woke, and you weren’t planning on breaking the gentle silence anytime soon. He was still recharging, putting himself back together. Thankfully he was too tired to be embarrassed.

The others raised their heads as you came into their view, nodding to you and giving Levi a sad look before dropping back into their quiet conversations. The last of the fire was dying out, final tendrils reaching up to the sky. Some charred legs and arms of tiny creatures were mixed with the ashes, too tough to tear through with teeth. You helped Levi sit down on a log, his body no doubt aching from sleeping in an awkward position.

Ymir, who had the secret ability to be thoughtful occasionally, handed over some spare cooked meat they had kept on a giant leaf. You accepted it, whispering a thank you, and peeked at Levi who was still on the journey of being awake. Sliding him most of the meat, you told him to eat, letting him go through it painfully slow as long as it meant he’d eat at all.

It was cold, it being cooked likely hours ago, but meat was meat, food was food, as you ripped into the muscle that wrapped tiny bones.

You did a quick inventory of the rest of them. The kids looked okay, all three uncharacteristically quiet. Once in a while one of them would glance to Levi, something between fear for, and fear of him. Eren and Mikasa hadn’t seen him like that before, Levi had made sure of it for as long as he’d known them. So much of his identity was inherit to the way he had absolute command over himself, of how fast he could run, how he could precisely swing a sword, how well he could control every muscle in his face. Not a single twitch out of place. But he had been stripped of that ability ever since the first Games and now he was never quite sure what he was going to do next. He had never had to battle himself before, and never had he lost to his own body and mind before. And so regularly at that.

He hated it, so he didn’t like anyone else seeing it, but it meant it came as an overwhelming shock to anyone who eventually did.

But Mikasa and Eren had seen many things in their short lives, and shock was a feeling they had learnt to abandon after how many times it had come for them. They both stood, dusting themselves off, and walked over. Levi raised his head a smidge, watching their legs get closer and closer while he wished desperately that they’d turn around.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, barely audible, but the only ones that heard it chose not to listen.

Eren sat on the ground by his legs and rested his head on Levi’s knees while Mikasa sat on the log on the other side of him, resting her head on his shoulder. They both closed their eyes and let their bodies rest because they knew as long as this broken man was by their side, they’d give the stubborn man the reassurance he never dared to ask for.

You looked at him, watching the way he bit into his bottom lip so it would stop quivering, and how hard he screwed his eyes shut to stop tears from coming. You slid your hand over his, laced your fingers, and squeezed as hard as you could.

The camp gave the man the privacy of their eyes as Levi’s shoulders shook.

.

Somehow, everyone always got startled when the music began to play. And somehow, everyone always got startled when they recognised the faces in the sky. It was only five today, so few and so many. You despised the fact you were relieved when children’s faces filled the sky, and you despised the fact that you were annoyed none of the victors did. Little kids stared down at you, one after the other, none from the career districts – they had lasted, but the few dotted through the rest.

You wondered who you had been cursing out for dying with bad timing and worsening Levi’s state, and when Marco gasped next to you, both of his district kids painting the sky, you hoped it wasn’t them. Nifa wasn’t in the sky with them, she was somewhere else in this giant collage arena alone. Shivering with the cold and guilt of whatever must have happened.

Maybe she had snapped and killed them herself.

Nothing could have been less likely, but you still wouldn’t have blamed her if she did.

The camp stayed quiet as Marco grieved for children he had tried his best not to care for. It didn’t matter he hadn’t brought them along; it didn’t matter he knew they were going to die. He ate every meal with them, he taught them everything he knew in that small amount of time at the Capitol. He had cared, as much as he hated himself for it.

Jean hugged him tightly, letting Marco weep into his chest.

It had been a long day.

Everyone soon curled around in groups or pairs for warmth, only a few sleeping bags left to use. Ymir and Historia gifted theirs to you – after a lot of back and forth, you refusing to take, them refusing to take it back – both volunteering to do the night watch together. There’s a strange sense of privacy when standing guard as a heap of people sleep behind you. You had no doubt that Ymir and Historia had many things to talk about without the fear of a few prying ears, even in a forest of microphones.

You settled down next to Levi and watched him as he watched you. The cicadas still sang in his ears despite their vow of silence. They ricocheted around his ear canals and thumped on the drums, and so despite the logic that infested him, he still couldn’t get your faux screams out of his brain. You were in front of him, he knew this, but he had stopped learning to trust his mind.

“You’re here,” he whispered, neither of you could tell whether he meant it as a statement or a question.

“Right here, and I will follow you into Hell before I leave you.”

He still had some patches of dried blood in his hair that you’d clean out later, and the same look of fear in his eyes. But as much as it hurt to see those blue-grey irises contract and splinter, it was better than the other things you had seen swimming in his pupils.

You longed that he would always feel fear, because then at least he wouldn’t discard it.

.

It had been a good day, the first in a while. That, you supposed, should have been the first warning sign.

Levi had been much livelier that day, even cracked a few smiles, ruffled the heads of the kids, kissed you when he thought no one was looking, or when he couldn’t bring himself to care if they were. He had talked with the old ladies running their stalls in the hub, politely nodding and his cheeks blushing when they threw cheeky compliments and remarks at him about how he’d grown into a nice young man and had even gotten the beautiful girl he’d been pining after since he was a little troublemaker. He snorted at Hanji’s jokes, declined refills of his drink, cooked you both dinner, hummed a forgotten tune as you held onto his waist with your head on his shoulder, and whispered that he loved you as you slow danced in your socks to silent music.

A weight had been lifted off his shoulders. You thought it had been a breakthrough, a little mental fatigue having finally been shoved away so he could live his life burdened with a little less guilt.

Then you had woken up alone.

You had pat down the other side of the bed, not quite believing that it was empty, but only slightly warm sheets met your fingers.

At first you thought he was out on a midnight walk, but he would have left a note or woken you up to go with him. Levi didn’t leave you completely alone unless he didn’t want you to know where he was. Levi didn’t want you to know where he was if he didn’t want you to follow.

You had pulled on a coat, grabbed a torch from the cupboard, and made your way downstairs.

The house had felt eerie – haunted – as you moved through it. Both of you had died time after time inside its walls, past selves and future selves meeting their demise from drinks or a cry or both. Sometimes a tender silence or just a really good hug. Ghosts filled its halls, ones you didn’t want to name, and they watched as you pulled on your boots with the flashlight between your teeth and scooped up the keys before disappearing into the night.

First you had knocked on Hanji’s door, hoping he had gone to just have a drink with her, to have someone who didn’t share his burden quite so equally and similarly, but still understood all the same. None of the lights were on and it was dead silent, but your fist slammed on the wood anyway. A grumbling Hanji met you, ready to chew you out for waking her for whatever reason she had already decided was stupid, until she saw your face.

In an instant, all fatigue flew from her body. “What’s wrong?”

“Have you seen Levi?”

She shook her head.

“Stay here and try and keep him where he is if he comes back.”

By the time she called your name to try to get you to slow down, you were already heading towards the gate. With Hanji left as a guard, you traversed the abandoned streets alone. Dogs snored next to fences they were tied to, cats watched you with glowing eyes, flicks of moonlight glancing off them and giving you shivers. You had squeezed through the boundary fence, keeping the flashlight off until you were obscured by the trees. There were only so many places he could be, only so many places he’d ever think to run to. Only so many places that gave him the peace of mind he was probably searching for. But what if he wasn’t? What if he wasn’t someplace you knew? You couldn’t search an entire forest. You couldn’t search an entire district.

You didn’t understand, he had been so good that day, he seemed to have found a crumb of contentment.

Then you had stood upon that familiar hill, flashlight scaring away the night-time creatures, where you had laid in the long grass since you were kids and looked over the dirty district. The smoky clouds hid the moon, taking away the minimal light it had been giving, before slowly sliding away, letting the white circle illuminate a blip on the horizon line. A figure on top of a familiar building.

And then you understood.

Racing down the hill with the wind at your back, you ran to the orphanage to stop the man on the roof stepping off.

There weren’t really any tall buildings in Twelve, not any that were easily accessible, but the orphanage loomed above the area with just three floors and a pointy roof. It wasn’t that high, but it was high enough. Especially with the frozen ground beneath it. And if you jumped just right, if you were able to control your body, then it was as easy as breathing.

You couldn’t take your eyes off his shadow, terrified that if you looked back, he wouldn’t be there anymore. You were too scared to even blink.

You weren’t sure whether or not to shout, to yell at him, to wake everyone up. He’d hate you for it, but you also weren’t sure it would help. The last time one of you had been on a literal edge, it hadn’t been shouting that saved them.

Finally making it to the building, you dragged your gaze away from him, trying to figure out how the fuck he had even gotten up there. Eyeing around for a ladder, a bunch of conveniently stacked crates or at least a good number of footholds. A voice peeked out from behind you.

“Did you forget something?”

Whipping your head around, you found a tired Petra rubbing her eyes, leaning her full weight on the doorframe.

“No, I’m fine,” you said, your words clipped. “Just go back inside.”

She whispered your name in question, sleep slowly dripping away from her small frame. She ventured a few more steps out, and she immediately followed your glance up that you weren’t able to stop. Petra froze and said your name again.

“Go back to bed.”

“But-”

“Go.”

Then Oluo joined the party, and your rage was about to burst from its weak chains. He poked his head out from the door and asked what the hell was going on in his usual cranky voice, and then walked up and flicked Petra in the forehead for not answering until he saw her wide eyes. And his gaze, too, followed up to the roof. But then he did a very Oluo thing: snapped out of being Oluo. He placed a hand on Petra’s shoulder and tugged her back inside.

Before he shut the door, he gave you one last look and spoke. “He probably used the knotted tree out the back to get up, it’s what the kids have been using lately.”

Nodding at him in thanks, you quickly found and scaled said tree, ungracefully reached your foot out onto the tiled roof, and pushed yourself away from the branch onto it, leaving you only a dozen yards from Levi who was yet to move.

He stared at the ground below as you walked over, not bothering to hide your footsteps, heels clicking against the terracotta. You sat down next to him, leaning on your knees as you looked up to the moon, your hand close enough to catch his ankle in time if it resorted to that.

But you knew it wouldn’t.

Because he would have long since jumped if that was the case.

“Hey,” you said, “It’s too cold for you to be out here without a jacket.”

You waited for a click of a tongue, a tch, or even a reply, but nothing came, and you were stuck in the limbo of caring for someone who didn’t want to be cared for.

“Levi? You need some rest; you never get enough sleep as it is.” You were tiptoeing around it all. The disappearance into the night, the roof, his feet on the edge, one strong gust or one strong thought enough to send him over. You thought that maybe if you pretended you couldn’t see what was in front of you, if you didn’t acknowledge it, that it wouldn’t be real. Just some severe misunderstanding or a fever dream that you’d wake up from any second.

But the man next to you stayed stubbornly real as his brain went through a ceaseless war.

His gaze didn’t slip from the ground, blinking slowly as his sleep shirt blew in the wind. He was a dishevelled mess. Eyes red rimmed from rubbing or lack of sleep. His hair going in crazy directions and defying gravity. His laces not even tied, just spilling out of his shoes threatening to trip him. He looked cold – blue lips, white skin, veins viewable in the moonlight – but he didn’t act it. His mind cut off from his body, two separate beings standing side by side on terracotta. And you couldn’t tell what each of them wanted, and whether it was the same. The body remembers just as well as the mind after all.

“Levi, just say something. Anything.”

He wouldn’t even do you the small mercy of sitting down, or just walking home with or without you by his side. He wouldn’t do you the small mercy of pretending this never happened. It was what you deserved. What you deserved from looking away when it was too hard to swallow that he wasn’t getting better and never would.

“Petra and Oluo already saw you up here, imagine if they found you in the morning? Fuck what if the kids found you?”

Even that didn’t get him.

“I…”

You couldn’t claw that three-word phrase from your mouth because you didn’t think it would help. And you didn’t know if you’d be lying. You didn’t want to have to say it out loud to find out.

It’s so much easier to love someone when they aren’t constantly threatening to leave you in the worst way possible. You knew, you weren’t an idiot. You read Levi like a brochure, knowing what meant what, but you had grown the habit of skimming over parts you didn’t like and skipping ahead to the parts you did. Because every good thing always had an evil twin, and you deluded yourself into thinking that if you didn’t speak to it, its silence meant its death.

It's so much easier to love someone when they love you more than dying.

But you were never going to win that battle, maybe fix a draw, but you’d never win, not when death was so beautiful. And how they called to you too. Death was both of your love affairs that you never spoke of even though you both knew you slipped into their bed. They had a tender hand on your heart even when you laid beside Levi, and Levi whispered their name to the dark when he thought you were asleep.

It was ironic almost; each other’s nightmares were your own sweetest dreams. Death always looked so much better on you than him. He thought it suited him more. In the end, even Erwin would agree death was tailor-made for the both of you.  

“This isn’t the answer, Levi,” you said, the hypocrisy scratching your throat, “This won’t solve anything.”

Levi stared and stared at the ground, its gaze so much more inviting than your own. It would probably be softer. Safer too.

You were growing hysterical now, locking down every limb and nerve to stop you from just grabbing him or pushing him off to get it over with. Your face shuddered, lips, cheeks, and brows no longer containable.

“Levi please,” you cried out. The only thing stopping you from holding your head in your hands was the fear that if you looked away, you’d find him below. “Let’s just go home. We don’t even have to talk about it, we can just go to sleep or drink as much as you like and forget this ever happened, just please get away from the edge. Levi, I’m begging you, please.”

Then as it always did, without fail, your despair turned into rage. It was the only thing you had left, and you knew at that point, that this had nothing to do with stopping him, and everything to do with you.

“You didn’t even leave a note Levi! How long would it have been until someone found you? How long would it have fucking been until I found out? You would be fucking frozen into the dirt by the time I’d know, and I’d never fucking forgive you. Never never never. So just come home! I’m fucking begging you! Please just say something. Please just tell me I’m enough for you to stay just one more day because I can’t do this shit without you, I can’t Levi, I can’t.”

And then finally, looking you right in the eye with the moonlight bouncing off his blue-grey irises, he spoke with such calmness and clarity it terrified you before his words did.

“Do you love me too much to see me die? Or am I just the last thing keeping you from jumping off yourself?”

You didn’t have an answer and that was as good of a confirmation as one can get.

With a mouth agape and eyes full of frozen tears, you watched as Levi sighed and walked away from the edge and to the tree, his boots clinking on the terracotta.

.

“We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz,” Armin hummed along to himself as everyone thwacked through the leaves and cursed out at the bugs biting them. Every now and again you’d all pass – or more so trip on – a giant red cross on the ground, and Marco would pretend he didn’t know who it symbolised. Sweat ran down the back of your neck as your arm ached, swinging your sword back and forth.

Between a pant you asked, “What’s that from? Some nursery rhyme or something?”

Armin froze up, caught, making you catch his arm before he tripped over an above-ground root. “Oh uh, thanks-” he stood up properly again and walked by your side “-it’s from a movie school showed us a lot back in Three. During our film unit we were studying colour, and some say it’s one of the first few films, if not the first, to move away from black and white.”

“Must be old then.”

“Real old.”

“What’s it about?”

Armin then proceeded to explain the strangest plot you’d ever heard of, not that you had a great reference for stories – films and books were more infrequent than meals in Twelve – but something about a girl falling in a pig pen, a woman stealing her dog, and then a tornado bringing her into a magical world with witches and flying monkeys and talking scarecrows. He humoured all your questions, especially about the logistics of a person getting crushed by a house, and your accompanying questions about Three.

“I guess you lot are the technology district after all, what weird shit have you had to make?”

“Anything from speakers to bombs,” he said simply, “In school they made us test our landmines; if yours failed you’d have to step on the next person’s.”

You gulped.

“Mine worked. The one before me didn’t.”

Exhaling deeply, you pointed your gaze ahead. You still weren’t quite used to him, as much as you liked him. He was terrified of many things – though usually justified in his fears – more than the average kid. He was meek and physically weak, there was no doubt he would have been bullied at Twelve, he might have stood a chance in Three for his brains. But when it came to the truly horrifying things, the ones that even made your skin crawl and made you flinch away, he wouldn’t waver. It was if his intellect saved him, letting him remove himself from everything but the facts and logic of the situation.

He was only fifteen, but you swore half the time you were talking to a wise old man.

He reminded you a lot of Hanji. Erwin too.

You chose your next question carefully, chewing on it.

“Who was your favourite character from the sorcerer of oz or whatever it is?”

He pondered for a moment, his eyebrows squeezing together, before he looked up at the blue sky that just managed to peek through the curtains of branches. “The lion.”

.

After what felt like days, but in reality was just a handful of humidity drenched hours, the group reached the end of Marco’s arena. As soon as you stepped over the invisible line, even the air felt different. The trees were huge, much like Kenny’s arena. You couldn’t even reach the lower branches if you jumped and not to mention the trunks were thicker than the height of a person. The landscape moved up and down in steep hills and cliffs, feigning the look of stone and grass waves.

Everyone basked in the cool air that blew past, smelling the slight salt in breeze, letting it run through your hair and across your sweaty face. Everyone took a sigh of relief, all but one, that is.

Jean was on high alert. He looked right and left, his body stiff as a board.

“Yours?” you asked.

He nodded, knuckles white around his trident.

“We’ll be quick then.”

It was more hiking than you had been ready for. Each hill was a mountain in spirit. It took over ten minutes to get to the peak of one, panting the whole way up there. It was a nice view at least; you could even see the abandoned cornucopia and the silent field that surrounded it. It was tempting to just take control over the centre, especially when the slices just kept dealing threats, but with a similarly big alliance walking around somewhere that hadn’t lost any substantial players, the risk wasn’t worth it yet.

You’d rather face a mutt than Kenny the Ripper most days.

Or you didn’t want Levi to face him, rather.

But a climb up meant a climb back down, the particular hill not being big enough for a proper camp, all it did was make you thirsty.

“God, I want some fucking water,” Ymir panted, “Anyone got any spare?”

Everyone shook their heads knowing full well that if they had water, they would have drunk it themselves.

“Jean-boy, are the streams and lakes around here safe?” she asked.

Jean in question switched on properly at the sound of his name and almost immediately went into a lowered panic mode. “We need to stay on high ground,” Jean said, “We can’t go down, we need to just get through as quickly as possible.”

“We’re dying out here man, I just need a sip.”

“It’s not worth it, we don’t need to be swept away.”

“Well when do we even get the next chance for water then? Certainly not in the next fucking one,” she said, pointing.

You all followed her finger. Something inside of you shivered at the sight. The next was yours and Levi’s, waiting for you to step into history.

“I don’t care Ymir, I’ll die of dehydration if I have to. I want to spend the least amount of time below if I can help it.”

Ymir rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him, walking over to the edge of the cliff, peering over the land and between the ginormous trees for a little bit of blue. You wanted to believe Jean, be on his side, but you would have killed for a bottle of water right then.

“Aha!” she finally exclaimed, “Right down there, there’s a little lake. Perfect for some relaxing swimming.” She wiggled her eyes at Historia who bit down a laugh.

“This really isn’t a good idea…” Jean tried again. “I mean it, I’m not being an ass.”

“Since when are you not an ass?” Ymir replied, already making her way down the hill, “But hey,” she paused and looked back up to him, “there’s nothing stopping you from just staying up here. We’ll even bring you some back since we’re charitable like that.”

Jean beat his foot against the ground, his fingers tightening over his trident. His eyes flickered between everyone, hoping someone would be able to help him out, but even Marco was caving to the idea, not able to look at him.

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth, “But if we die it’s your fault.”

“I knew you had it you, horse-face!”

The long trek down was thankfully nowhere near as bad as the climb thanks to helpful ability of gravity, but Levi refused to let go of your hand in case you tripped over a stray rock. Jean stayed at the back of the pack, mumbling to himself and biting his nails, eyes flying everywhere at every twig snap and rock sent skidding.

When you were soon on the forest floor, you noticed that weirdly there were only birds around. They hid in the branches above, but no ground creatures ran across the grass. The birds would occasionally fly down to the dirt and pull out a worm or materials for a nest and were gone before you could tell what species they were.

Ymir led ahead with Historia, an arm around the smaller girl, occasionally rubbing her forehead into the blonde hair. Historia was quieter with her affection, but you watched as she looped her pinkie finger around Ymir’s. You kept your smiles to yourself, but it was refreshing to see them display such love for each other when it had been forced down for years.

You squeezed Levi’s hand, glad that your ability to love hadn’t been stripped from you. Given everything, Levi and you had had it easy. Especially when you knew the whispers of what happened to pretty victors.

When you thought of the whistles Levi got in the Capitol, it was a blessing he was already claimed.

You wondered then, if a choice should be made between Eren and Mikasa, of who the Capitol elites would find less desirable.

Eventually, the group reached the lake that in reality was a glorified pond. The kids and Ymir alike dived for the water, skidding to the edge on their knees and instantly cupping water into their mouths. Laughing, you sat down next to them, tugging Levi along.

The water was fresh and clear despite it being unmoving. The gamemakers weren’t a fan of uninteresting infections and illnesses thankfully. It slid down your throat in big gulps and you let it fall messily across your sweaty face, sighing at the feeling.

Jean stayed standing up, fidgeting as he looked from the lake to the landscape around. Though everyone wanted to bask in the soft sun on the embankment, you had all also made Jean a promise, swiftly getting up after a final few sips.

Marco gave Jean a look that Jean was trying his best to pretend didn’t exist.

“Just a bit, Jean,” Marco said, “You need it. It can’t hurt.”

Jean stared at him for a bit, biting his thumbnail, vibrating like a hummingbird, before finally caving with some begrudging murmurings. He brought his hand together and lowered them into the water, a ripple splaying out. Ever so slowly, he lifted the water to his mouth, most of it running down his arms, and swallowed.

The ground began to tremble.

The kids shouted. Armin fell to his knees. Eren and Mikasa hauled him back up. Ymir and Historia held on to each other to stay standing up. Levi’s hand was an iron grip around your arm.

For a split second you thought you were about to drown in invisible sand, get sucked down into the earth. But this shaking wasn’t from the force of sucking everything down with it, but instead of something throttling the earth on top. There, on the blue horizon, was a shimmering wall with a slightly different shade of blue.

And it was moving forward very, very quickly.

Without communication, all of you began to run. The ground shuddered as the tidal wave swallowed everything in its path. Trees, animals, and soon, people.

You all needed to get up high and fast. You wished you had listened to the anxious mutterings of a victor. Humanity has never been able to beat water, and they wouldn’t start now.

And then, as if the Hunger Games gods wanted to taunt you all more, you realised you were one cocky bastard short.

“Jean!”

You all screamed his name, begging him to move his feet as he stared up at the giant wave. You didn’t have time for this, none of you did. You didn’t even have a good reason to try and save him. At the end of all this you and everyone else needed him dead.

But the poor boy looked so scared.

“Levi! Take the kids and go!”

And with a moment of hesitation and knowing the look in your eye he couldn’t knock out, he picked Eren and Armin by the scruffs of their neck and started sprinting away, Mikasa already leading ahead. Ymir and Historia, who had always been better at self-preservation, followed after, only Ymir sparing a glance back to the three of you that remained.

With Marco by your side, you ran to the terrified boy. The wall of water started to get bigger on the horizon. Soon there would be no chance you could outrun it. Both of you continued to yell for him but it fell on deaf ears. He just stared, every bone in his body calcified.

With every step you could feel yourself regretting it, but you had run out of good ideas a while ago.

Practically tripping over your own feet, you and Marco made it to Jean who was yet to move. You tugged on his arm, hard, but he was wearing cement shoes, now a new feature of the landscape.

“Jean we need to fucking go!”

His mouth fell open; no sound came out.

“Jean?” Marco asked, taking a much gentler grip on his other arm. “Jean, can you hear me?”

Your eyes flitted between him and the giant wave unrelenting in its pace. “Jean!”

“I…” he muttered, “I can’t…I didn’t…I…”

You were stepping back slowly now, letting go of Jean’s arm, fingers trailing off. You couldn’t die. Not yet. Even for these two. But you couldn’t run away. You just stared at the two of them and the giant blue that framed them beautifully.

“Marco we need to go!” you yelled, choosing to prioritise the man whose legs weren’t frozen. But he didn’t spare you a glance, just looked deeply into Jean’s eyes trying to make his best friend recognise the reality in front of him, getting Jean’s brain in sync with his body.

Marco took Jean’s hands in his, thumbs rubbing over the skin, and gave him the softest smile in the world as if it was simply another day at home and not the end of the world.

“Jean, it’s time to go.”

And like a magician snapped his fingers, they took off, leaving you to follow behind. The three of you twisted around trees, avoiding the suspiciously falling branches that dotted your path. A giant branch fell from the heavens and nearly smashed your head in.

Finally, the hill the others had climbed came in sight and your legs burnt at the relief of not having to run much longer. And your heart burnt at the thought of being able to see Levi safe and sound.

Then a tree started to fall.

You took a step back. The other two went forward.

It fell like a wall between you.

Dirt sprayed everywhere and you coughed, trying to open your stinging eyes. The trunk was too wide to climb over, and you didn’t have any time to think. The hill was blocked off to you, and the wave wasn’t going to pause.

It was too convenient. Far too convenient. Like it happened at the press of a button.

“Keep going! I’ll find another way up!”

“Fuck no!” Jean yelled back, though you couldn’t even see him. “We’re not leaving you behind! Levi will have our heads!”

“Just tell him I went somewhere else! I’ll find you guys later I swear! Just don’t die as soon as I leave you alone alright.”

What you could only imagine was them looking at each other with desperation but the desire to survive bleeding through, they bid you good luck and continued up the hill, leaving you to take a breath and disappear into the forest.

You winded through the trees, trying to think about anything but the wave gradually making its way towards you. The rumble of the ground had started a harmony with the snapping trees, some got uprooted in the current and collapsed behind you.

The arena continued to toy with you. You could barely run ten seconds in one direction before another tree came tumbling down in your path, forcing you to turn left or right. You weren’t entirely sure why, past the whole “they want you dead anyway” thing, but this seemed an obtuse way to do it. Finally you understood when you made eye contact with a trio of fellow runners.

“Mike!” you yelled, “Nanaba!”

They, and the boy with them, whipped their heads towards you, the boy in question glancing very nervously to your sword.

“What are you doing here?” Nanaba shouted back.

“Attempting not to die!”

They fell in stride with you like a pre-planned formation; Mike on one side and Nanaba on the other, the boy holding tightly onto Mike’s hand. No one needed to voice the fact you were in a peaceful truce considering the wave was a severely more frightening threat.

“Where’s Levi?” Mike asked, somehow audible over the rumbling.

“Up ahead; I couldn’t follow cause of a fucking tree falling.”

Nanaba and Mike looked to each other, something akin to annoyance on their faces.

“Gotta make it difficult,” Nanaba muttered, though her words seemed to transcend their simplicity, but you weren’t going to ask.

It fell into silence as the four of you tried to bulldoze through the landscape, not sparing a second to look behind. Knowing it was at your ankles would do nothing to help and only increase your panic.

But your main concern was the fact your fateful leg was starting to act up. Surgery had saved it almost a decade ago, but it was never the same, you can’t fully reengineer stolen muscles and hope it’ll be identical. And since the Capitol medical teams would rather leave you to die then let you walk out better than you were before the “accident” happened, your leg would always be a little shitty.

It hadn’t been put under stress like this in a long time and you were waiting for the moment it would finally buckle. You just hoped it wouldn’t be in the next five minutes.

However, it was going to be fine. You’d spot a scalable hill, and it would all be fine. Levi would get mad at you, and you’d help him cool off. It was going to be fine.

You started getting worried when you realised you hadn’t seen the incline of a hill since you had left Marco and Jean. The ground around you just rose to the sky above the trees, no convenient path leading you out of the way of your doom. So you ran and you ran, ignoring the doubt in your head, and the wave rolling behind you, and the desperation that was growing by the second in the others’ eyes.

Levi was someone who held unspoken promises in the aortas of his heart, and you said you’d meet up with him later, so that you would. You had to. For your sake and his. Otherwise, he’d be diving into the water himself.

But staying together wasn’t in your or his control anymore. That had been stripped like every other right to your name.

So when you were looking down the barrel of a cliff face, you knew it was the end.

You just stared, frozen, looking at the pores and creases of the rocks, studying how the gradient changed from greys to creams to browns as the tidal wave rumbled behind you. There were no footholds. Nothing to even bother trying to use. This was it.

It was finally over.

In the limbo between blind panic and nothingness was where you laid, your mind doing the former, but your body doing the latter.

You’re going to die you’re going to die you’re going to die holy shit holy fuck oh my god you don’t want to die you have to look after the kids you have to look after Levi you don’t want to die yet you can’t die you can’t you can’t you can’t–

A strangled scream toppled down from above. There, atop the cliff, was Levi attempting to throw himself off to you. The others held him down, a person to each limb and more, trying to stop the man dying alongside his best friend. His face was contorted beyond recognition, mouth wide and stretching his cheeks, teeth bared. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his skull. Even with a whole team holding him back, he was still somehow inching closer with every screech of your name. They dug their heels into the dirt to stop him taking them with him. Jean stabbed his trident into the ground for leverage.

This was not the first time he tried to throw himself from a ledge, but the third time would not be the fucking charm.

He screamed and screamed and screamed and you stood still in the rushing world and all you could do was stare back and yell his name like a siren, begging him to drown with you. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t die, but you didn’t want to leave without him.

Where one goes, the other always follows.

Next to you, Mike’s nephew quaked, hyperventilating, the ground swaying beneath him. He was too young for this. You were all too young for this, but his little body was about to get shattered.

Mike and Nanaba were unnaturally calm, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought as if they were trying to remember what food they needed to buy. They looked at each other, then to you, then back to each other, with a face you’d learn later to decipher as the resignation of duty.

They both grabbed you by the arms, steering you back into the trees, the boy stumbling behind as Levi yelled for you.

“Up!” commanded Mike.

Without time to question it, you stood on their hands as they boosted you into the branches. You caught on – just – and swung yourself up. Behind you, you could hear the snapping and crashing of trees getting taken down by the wave, the cacophony deafening. Straddling a thick branch, you looked back down in time to see them hoisting up the boy. You caught onto his forearm and lifted him up, letting him hug the other side of the trunk.

Levi’s screams pierced the air, still audible over your coming death.

“No! Let me fucking go! Let me fucking go to her! She can’t die when I’m not there! I’m not losing her!”

The wave was close now. Too close.

With the boy’s hand in one of yours, you tried to pull Nanaba up, Mike beneath her having already made peace with no one’s death but his own. As Nanaba swung her leg onto the branch and Mike didn’t even bother to try and jump, the wave hit.

Bam.

It was a constant punch. The energy never ceasing as it pummelled into your back, slamming your face on the tree, cutting you up with every flying branch and twig to the point your skin stung so much it went numb.

It didn’t take long for Nanaba to be swept away.

You held onto her for dear life, nails digging into her arm, but they only became claws tearing through her skin as she was ripped from you.

You couldn’t even scream for her.

You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t fucking breathe.

Your lungs stung. Your body was trying to hurl even though it didn’t have the energy to do so. Everything in your body was going out with a bang, every cog turning even as the metal screeched, as they tried to keep you afloat. The final hour.

You couldn’t hear anything, feel anything or see anything. You couldn’t feel your legs or your arms or anything in your mind. All you knew, and all you cared for, was the small hand still encapsulated in yours. Holding as tight as you possibly could, probably crushing the boy’s hand, you pinned your grasp to the tree.

At least kids were allowed to come out of this.

But the grip was loosening. His fingers tried to slide through yours. You crunched his thumb in your palm. There was no way only you were coming out of this alive.

The wave was slowing down but you were getting dizzy. You’d pass out any second and slip away like everything else, your body a puppet to the current.

Drowning burned like the coals of Twelve.

The more you tried to choke up water, the more would find itself in you. Through each nostril, though your mouth, your ears. Running with more water than blood. It took everything to stay glued to the bark.

Your head felt so light it was a wonder it didn’t float away.

Nothing.

Nothing.

A hand in yours.

Nothing.

Nothing.

A retreat.

Open air.

A choked inhale.

With a rasp you plummeted down from the tree, dragging the boy with you. You slammed into the dirt, body screaming as you vomited water out again and again and again, not able to catch your breath before salt stung your eyes and nose once more. Your lungs and stomach rejected everything until it was no longer just water coming up.

You could barely see, your vision two bright slits with some green. Hands and feet slipped in mud as you tried to pull yourself up, falling back into the wet earth and swallowing some without meaning to.

It didn’t feel real, nothing did. Not your body that ached with a force greater than any blow, and a ground that refused to stay steady beneath you. Your ears still rang and were obnoxiously muffled, letting you in on nothing around you. You were blind, deaf, and mute and nothing you felt with your hands lived in reality except for the small hand that was still gripped in yours.

The boy... the boy…

Mike… Nanaba…

Levi.                                          

A stampede of feet squelching through the mud paired with yelling you couldn’t decipher got closer and closer and closer, one voice carrying above the rest. A body crashed into yours, pulling you up and constricting you. You still couldn’t see.

The body didn’t care about the mud that coated you or the fact you hadn’t said anything but put two fingers to your throat and cried and cried and cried when a steady beat spoke back. You still couldn’t breathe properly, inhaling more water and mud than air. You couldn’t see who was holding you and you were barely conscious enough to know who it was. Your body shuddered along with his, with wheezes instead of sobs, and you felt over him blindly, trying to find his face.

Smaller hands went on you, pulling your hair out of your face, wiping you down. There was someone yelling for water.

The man holding you started to lift you up, making you dizzy. You couldn’t tell up from down, left to right, your head lolling wherever gravity pulled it. As you rose, a weight anchored you to the forest floor.

The boy. Oh god the boy.

Your eyes flew open, trying to catch onto something recognisable. But all you saw was brown and blue, and all it did was sting your eyes.

“The kid,” you choked out, “Kid are you alright?”

Voices around you ceased.

“Kid are you okay?”

Another pause.

“Let’s get you away from here,” Levi said, “Come on let’s go clean you up–”

“No!” You tugged on the tiny hand still in yours. “Kid come on get up!”

Levi said your name lowly, you blocked him out.

“Let go of me.”

“Come on let’s just–”

“Fuck off!”

The group moved in on you like a pack of predators, blocking the little of what you could see with shadows. They were trying to rip you away. A thousand grips on your wrist and arm trying to force you apart. You just wanted to hold the boy’s hand, you just wanted to make sure he was okay.

You screamed at them as they manhandled you, throwing and thrashing your body to wrestle out of Levi’s arms. But he held on like chains, denying your desperation. You scratched at them and lunged, rarely finding your mark, as you shouted and begged for them to let you see the boy.

“Nanaba and Mike are gone,” you cried, “Please, he needs someone.”

Finally, you collapsed back in the mud, not from your own effort but by Levi’s surrender. You crawled across, your arms and legs past pain as they slipped and slid and found home on a small body. All you could hear were your desperate breaths and your name being called as you felt over the face and found a large nose passed through genes.

You wiped over your eyes, at first just adding more mud until it finally started tearing it away. You blinked rapidly and shook your head like a dog, more and more sunlight breaking through your eyelids.

Smiling, you looked down at the boy, a quip of comfort on your lips.

Oh.

Necks weren’t supposed to bend like that.

.

The current had snapped his neck. At least that was Levi’s theory as he helped you walk. A cannon – well three actually – had fired during the tidal event, and your ears were blocked with too much water to hear over the devastating wave. The boy was left in the mud staring up into the sky that soon a projection of his face would paint. With an arm over Levi’s shoulder and his arm wrapped around your waist, he took you to the cliff face. There, were two bodies smeared into the stone past recognition.

You looked at them like an art installation – strokes of red on a canvas, trying to figure out what it meant.

“They put me up in the tree first,” you said. Levi and the rest of the group turned to you. “Not ever after the kid, they just… looked at me and hauled me up. Why?” You turned to Levi, who you had always hoped had answers when you didn’t, to see an equally lost face staring back. “Why did they save me?”

.

If you had been paying attention to the small things, which you had lost the ability to do, you would have noticed the heavy but silent exchange of looks between the younger victors. But all you could think as they stared at each other with the same look of resignation that Mike and Nanaba had, was the fact you hadn’t taken them out for drinks like you promised.

“Baby steps,” Levi repeated as he guided you up the last bit of the hill, the steepness having turned impossible. Your body was returning to its homeostasis, but a night of shitty sleep was needed to get it somewhat functional again.

The cold was the real problem. The bodysuit you and everyone else wore did its best to regulate temperatures, as Hanji stated once, heat and cold related deaths were boring to watch. And so, it had done its best to protect you against the biting cold of the tidal wave. What it hadn’t done however, was prevent rips from the flying branches and debris which had let water in. Most of it had drained but you started to shake.

“Armin,” Levi said, “start a fire, we need-”

You shook your head. “Don’t. It’s getting dark, we don’t need careers right now.”

He glared at you. “There’s fucking nine of us, we’ll be fine. Armin, go get some-”

“And-” you interrupted again, “I’m not risking Kenny coming up here just cause I’m a little cold, Levi.”

“Since when did I give a shit about that old bastard?”

“It’s for your sake, not mine.”

You could tell he was two seconds from going “whatever, fucking freeze to death then” but your looming peril hadn’t left his gut yet, so he held back. You could also tell he wanted you to expand more on what you meant by his sake exactly, but something told you he already knew, he just wasn’t up to accepting it.

He made you sit in the sleeping bag, helping you strip the body suit to dry off both it and you, and crawled in himself to share his body warmth. With your head on his heart and his arms wrapped around you, you stared at the ending day, the sunset setting up its colours.

“You need to sleep,” Levi started, “your body needs energy to fight off a cold.”

“Ah yes I’m sure sleep will come to me easy tonight; I’ll be knocked out in no time for sure.”

Levi sighed, but he just held you tighter. No amount of bullshit coming from your mouth would distract him from the fact you weren’t just shaking from the cold.  

“God, back in the day I’d just pop a couple sleeping pills and I’d be good.”

He gave you a warning look.

You curled in on yourself on reflex. “Sorry.” There were some things not made for casual conversation. Not anymore.

As night descended, the group stayed quiet, few words were spoken and rarely ever consecutively. The kids grouped around you, Eren and Mikasa being far more clingy than usual. They hadn’t been right ever since Levi’s breakdown, but your near death had pushed them to a quiet edge. Their eyes seemed to never be loose of a few tears whenever they glanced at you. Something in them had switched when they saw you writhing and screaming in the mud blind, and it wasn’t something that would ever switch back.

Eren slithered in his hand for you to hold. You pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders with your mouth on his head in a constant kiss on his scalp. He quivered. He gripped you tighter, terrified that if he let go, you’d slip between his fingers. And that wasn’t what family was supposed to do, not anymore, not after everyone that he’d lost. Holding his face in your hands, you raised his face to you to see tears brimming his emerald eyes.

“I just want to go home.”

With your eyes stinging, you held him as hard as you could, as tight as you can hold a boy who had the weight of mortality finally dumped on his shoulders. “I know, I know. Me too.”

.

“Can’t sleep?”

You glanced behind you to see Levi walking up, keeping his steps light as to not wake the rest of the group. He sat down next to you, staring up at the starry sky. Midnight had long since passed. You hadn’t looked up to the projected faces. You already knew who would be up there. But you followed his gaze back up, glad to be witnessed under the heavens with him. At least when you both left, someone would remember your love. That, at least, didn’t have to die. You wondered if they’d bury you side by side, maybe even in the same grave. Should have written it down somewhere.

“Yeah, decided to let Jean and Marco sleep at least if I can’t.”

He hummed, trailing his fingers over your thigh absentmindedly. Closing your eyes at the touch, you let yourself forget anything and everything except him, just pretending you were back at home on the couch, a little tipsy and ready to go to bed. What happiness a simple life had given you, you hadn’t treasured it while you had it. God, you’d even trade everything you had in your life to go back to that shitty shack where you slept on dying mattresses pushed together and cleaned yourself with a horse brush. You had thought you’d lived a pitiful life, but then you learnt what living in hell truly was, and no velvet ottoman was able to negate that.

You just wanted to be those kids again. Even if you were a little cracked, at least you were whole.

Before you could stop yourself, tears were streaming down your face. “Fuck.” You wiped at them, your sniffles getting more pathetic by the second as Levi just took you as you were. He looped an arm around you, pulling you closer. With slightly cracked but still soft lips, he kissed your bare shoulder, only making you more hysterical. You hiccupped, cupping your hand over your mouth in an attempt to let the others sleep, as Levi brushed away your tears and kissed under your eyes, swallowing every shard of your despair.

It felt stupid. Everything was stupid. You were going to die, you just nearly did. And Levi was going to die. The kids were going to die, the still-kids were going to die. Everyone you knew in the arena was going to die. Everyone would be gone and there’d be nothing you could do about it except cry because tears were the only thing left.

Levi looked at you with the gentle glow of a mine explosion. He knew. He knew everything that went on your head to his own detriment. But he knew, he felt the same, and he cradled your heart as it wept for everything you were never going to have.

“I just want to go home, Levi.”

“I know, I know. Me too.”

.

Red pill, blue pill, purple pill, white pill. You’d have the whole rainbow soon. You’d been a good scavenger, a discreet one. You couldn’t order a million sleeping pills for yourself, that’s a mistake waiting to be found.

It had begun after you had first run out, having to go two weeks without a single pill going down your throat. It was one of the worst weeks you had ever gone through, maybe only the Games compared. Maybe. It was a miracle Levi didn’t notice. Just thought you were going through a regular rough patch, not a self-inflicted one.

First, you did the obvious. Ordering some in Levi’s name. At the very least you’d have double the amount you usually had, not having to stretch it out as much. You dealt with all orders from the Capitol anyway, picked up the packages from the train station, opened them and stuffed the pills in your pocket before you got home, making sure you ripped off the receipt. An incredibly easy supply that would only satisfy you for a month.

Next was a little harder, but still an easy feat. There was a steady supply of them going to the orphanage, most of the kids needed help getting through the night every now and again. Problem was, Petra and Oluo picked up the shipments and they would most definitely notice if a bottle didn’t make the walk between the train and the building. Instead, you’d feign visits to the kids, just check-ups. Giving hugs, ruffling hair, reading to the younger ones. And then you’d slip upstairs to the staff quarters and go through the medicine storage, taking some from the top of the opened bottles. Never enough to be suspicious. When multiple people were coming in and out, a few unaccounted pills were nothing new.

“Need any help?” Petra usually asked, popping her head in the door.

You gave her a disarming smile. “Just checking to see if we’re low on anything.”

Those extra pills were good in the low periods, when you hadn’t monitored your intaking well. Your lapses of judgement that would encourage you to take one, two, three more.

The next step felt a little low, even for you, but skimming through Hanji’s bathroom cupboards was necessary. You’d drink wine, gin, whiskey, anything she’d give you, and go up to take a piss, seemingly drunk enough to take a while. And then you took them out from their regular spot in the cupboard, take two or three, and stuff them in your pocket.

It was the most you had ever visited Hanji; you had never been such a good friend.

Those days were the best you ever had. Wake up, take a pill, eat, take a pill, visit the kids, take a pill, go to the forest, take a pill. You melted from one high to another, watching the world get slower and easy to process. You laughed so much, smiled so much. Happiness had looked good on you.

But it was never enough, it was never enough. Soon your body grew used it and you were back to square one. Every time. So you’d up the dosage, bit by bit, desperate to stretch it but battling the self-control of a toddler.

You could stop whenever you wanted to, of course you could. It’s not like you were an addict or something. You just preferred it when you weren’t sober. And they were medicine, it didn’t count.

Levi started to watch you more, his eyes seemed to linger longer than usual.

“Been sleeping okay?” he’d ask.

“Never been better,” you’d reply.

And you’d watch him swallow, tongue nervously flittering over his lips, before asking if you wanted to visit the kids that day.

One morning you skipped off to the station, a smile stretching your cheeks. Rocking back and forth on your feet, the train pulled up, the workers unloading the boxes which were always few in Twelve. You picked up your box, the delivers knowing your face, more so from your frequency in their lives than the fact your face was plastered all over the Capitol for a year.

After bidding them goodbye, you ducked into an alley and opened the package. You rummaged through. Your smile started dropping. Your stress slowly grew as you saw bottles of gin, first aid supplies, nutrition gummies.

There wasn’t a single pill.

You checked over the receipt, you had ordered some, you knew you had. Both for you and “Levi”, that was your main supply. You wouldn’t have forgotten something like that, you couldn’t. But there, on the slip of paper, was everything contained in the package. “Sleeping pills” didn’t grace it.

You didn’t understand.

This would kill you.

You watched the train leave as you sprinted and screamed after it. There had to be some mix up. They must have had them in a different box. There had to be some explanation. You tripped over the tracks, eating shit in the gravel. You tried your best not to cry.

Making your way home was the hardest thing you had done in a while; you had left your spares at home thinking you’d get some from the new capsules. Fingers gripped tightly around the cardboard to stop the shaking, you gave strained smiles to people you knew, deflecting away from conversations, saying you needed to get home. How the fuck were you supposed to get through this?

When you got home, Levi was leaning against the kitchen counter, a tea in hand, another steaming beside him. You put the package down on the table, slowly unpacking to hide your wobbly grip. He watched silently as you put together a plan in your head, the nerves on fire.

“Bit weird,” you said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, shrugging, “they didn’t send my sleeping pills.”

“I know,” he took a sip from his tea, “I cancelled the order.”

Time stopped. You turned to look at him in minute horror. “You… you what?”

He didn’t repeat himself.

“I need them to sleep, Levi,” you said, hoping you sounded level. He flinched. “I really fucking need them.”

“You’re not using them to sleep, I know because you get up in the middle of the night to take more.”

You mouth stayed agape, trying to justify your actions as if they could be justified. He stepped forward cautiously. The planks creaked beneath his feet. You took one step back.

“I got shit to help with withdrawals.” He reached for your arm, you ducked away. “I called up a doctor from the Capitol who specialises in it, he’ll be able to help you.”

A bark of laughter escaped you. You shook your head in disbelief. “How dare you.”

You ran and ran and ran. First you ran to the orphanage, not saying a single hello as you flew up the stairs, cursing under your breath whenever a kid tried to greet you. Finally, you made it to storage. Going to twist the handle, you stopped in your tracks. There was a heavy-duty lock holding it closed.

Swearing under your breath, you looked up to see Petra. She had been expecting you.

“Petra, why the fuck is there a lock?”

She gulped and said nothing. You walked towards her, steps like cannons, counting towards someone’s end. You refused to let it be yours.

“Give the key, Petra. Give it me right now.”

Her lip quivered but she remained where she was, hands in fists as she stared down the woman who raised her. You screamed at her. Grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her against the wall. She wouldn’t say a word. You tore at her clothes, trying to find any hidden pocket as she cried and begged you to stop. You yelled at her to shut up as you scratched her skin.

“Oluo!” Petra called.

You spun around, nails still digging into her arms, to see Oluo, Gunther, and Eld staring you down. A key sat in Oluo’s hand. Your chest heaved, swallowing your anger to fuel the rage of your gut. Oluo stepped forward and ripped you from Petra who still couldn’t look away from you. Some of the kids were behind you, peeking their heads out from stairwells and doorways after hearing the commotion, watching you disintegrate.

Oluo looked down at you, a mix of emotions behind his eyes that you didn’t care to decipher because he was ruining you. “You should go.”

Spitting at them and calling them things that would bounce in their heads for years to come, you left the orphanage and went to your next pit stop. Having a key to Hanji’s place was always useful, but never before had it been a saviour. You let yourself in and went to her upstairs bathroom. She always kept her pills in the cabinet behind the mirror, the top left corner.

They weren’t there.

Faster than you could blink, you were throwing everything around the tiled room. Throwing everything in her draws and cupboards, not caring where they landed.

Cruel footsteps walked up the corridor and stopped outside the open door. Hanji looked down at you, pity infesting her eyes.

“I hid them,” she said, “You won’t find them.”

“Fuck you.”

She just sighed and looked up as Levi came in. You had never seen that look on his face before. You didn’t care. He picked you up by the shoulders, your body going limp like a kitten picked up by its mother. He directed you out as Hanji just stared at her bathroom and the damage you left behind.

As soon as Levi closed the door of your home behind you, you exploded. You thrashed and kicked, tearing yourself from his grasp, facing him with bloodshot eyes and a convulsing body. He held his hands out, as if trying to calm a lion, but a lion would have been less dangerous as you shook with rage.

Your hands moved by themselves, picking up bottles – some drunk, some full – and threw them at his head. He dodged and they shattered on the wall in a deafening crash. You threw pillows, glasses, plates, hoping something would make its mark and kill him. If he was dead, he couldn’t stop you. Should have killed him when you had the chance.

He just shouted your name pathetically, like he wasn’t the villain in the story. He asked you to stop, to calm down. You kept going.

When you had run out of nearby things to throw, he dived towards you and held you as tight as he could, squeezing his eyes shut as you struck him again and again, hitting him on the back of his head. He stuffed his face in your shoulder to stop you from scratching his eyes out, saying your name over and over like it was worth something.

“We’ll get through this, I promise. You’ll be alright.”

Your head and arms fell back, laughs and sobs choking you, praying for something to kill you. “What have you done?”

That night you woke, and you knew what you had to do.

You slipped out of bed, sure to pull the covers back up to keep the sleeping Levi warm. Giving him one last look, barely able to even see him in the dark – it was better that way. You said you loved him and went downstairs. You wished you could say you were on autopilot, that some strange creature had taken control of your brain and conducted you like an orchestra, telling your feet to move towards the bathroom as if telling the violins to play. But you knew what you were doing, and you had never been in more control of yourself than when you locked the bathroom door behind you.

The person in the mirror stared at you for a long time. They didn’t look anything like you. Gaunt, sickly, tired. You were supposed to have outgrown those traits after getting a nice big house and infinite food on the table. If an animal recognises themselves in the mirror, they’re meant to be an intelligent species. What had you devolved into?

Why did a sad child stare back?

Perhaps that’s all you were.

Adulthood doesn’t exist when you have nothing to grow into.

You tried to trace the outline of your reflection but only met your other zigzagging finger, not letting you touch anything else but your mirror’s fingertip, both with the shake of an addict. How cruel, you couldn’t even stroke her face or hit her. You could only touch her red dripped hand.

Finally, you opened the draw, pulling out everything. The hairbrush, spare toothpaste, extra shavers, stray hair ties. You dumped them on the counter without care, instead pushing down on the bottom of the draw, flipping the false bottom. Underneath was a treasure trove. The whole rainbow.

Your hand dived for one of the bottles. White pills. Keep it simple.

Well, here you go.

“You alright?”

You froze. You didn’t reply, not even a “getting a sleeping pill”, “needed to take a piss” or simply “killing myself.” And because he was Levi, the silence meant he had already deduced it to the last option.

The door handle started to turn to no avail, and the door shook a few times, as if a few shakes would get the Capitol grade lock out of alignment. He said your name through the door, a slight quiver to his voice and all it did was make you feel worse.

With shaking hands, you tried to get the capsule open, the bottle rattling from your inability to keep still. You hated it you hated it; your hands quivered with an addiction you were trying to feed to finality. Your body was simultaneously fighting against you from getting what you needed while begging on its knees for just one pill on your tongue.

“Open the door.”

“Just go back to bed, Levi!” you finally shouted, the voice not feeling like your own. Someone else must have said it, someone who didn’t love who their words were directed to.

“Unlock the door.” The door itself was shaking more now, thudding against the frame.

“Fuck off!”

Your hands still struggled with the capsule, finally getting an okay grip on it and started turning the lid off even though it sounded like a fucking maraca.

“Please just let me in,” he said, “Just let me in, we can talk about it, just stop what you’re doing, brat I swear to god-”

Your brain tuned him out, the only sounds you were able to process was your laboured breathing and the pills that shook with almost as much excitement. The lid clattered on the tiles, spinning and spinning and spinning, speeding up until it was a blur on the ground, the rattling falling in sync with Levi’s shoulder ramming into the wood.

He yelled for you, but none of the words made sense. Not even your name seemed quite right anymore. The only thing that existed, the only thing that mattered, was closing the gap between the pills and your mouth.

“Let me help you, please, please!”

With convulsing arms and hands, you poured the pills into your palm, ready to shove them all down your gullet. You threw the capsule away, letting it bounce in the bathtub as you lifted your hands to your mouth, drinking from the fountain of youth.

Bang!

The door flew open, handle splintered, slamming against the wall and shattering a wall tile. In a panic, the pills escaped your hands, scattering all over the floor.

No. No. No no no no no no.

Scrambling, you dropped to your knees, trying to collect all of them with trembling hands. Levi almost tripped over you, but quickly went to crushing the pills under his feet like bugs. He slammed his heel on each one, turning them to dust, and rapidly sweeping them away before you could lick it up.

He begged over and over, your name ricocheting around the room like a bullet, trying to find its target. But it never found its mark. You went for the draw, but hands being nowhere near trustworthy, you slammed a bottle down on the ground, breaking it and dispersing the pills like an infestation.  

Levi pinned you to the ground, forcing you to stare at his crushed expression as his fingers dug into your wrists. The tiles were so cold compared to his burning grip, it was like your skin was getting ripped off over the heat of coal. Your body was getting cooked alive as it longed for the little white killers that spotted your bathroom floor.

You struggled, kicking out at anything and everything. Trying to kick him in the head so he’d leave you alone and let you die in peace. Levi never let you do fucking anything, he never listened to you. He never let you die like he was supposed to. He should have pushed you off that sandstone tower and then you would have both been free.

Turning your head, you stretched your tongue out, trying to get at least one in your mouth. Just one, just one. Just one would be enough to pretend to live.

With the hand of unrelenting love, Levi gripped your chin and forced you back to him, nearly making you bite your tongue off in the process. But if that was what it took you to stop, Levi would have cut it out himself. But the problem wasn’t the muscles or the bones. He couldn’t dig your brain out, though you wished he could prune it like a bonsai tree.

Maybe it would be best if you threw it out and started all over again from scratch with spare nerves. Maybe then you wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. Maybe then you wouldn’t hurt him.

You sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for the brain you’d never get.

“Why? Why?” he asked as if he didn’t know the answer, as if the same the problems didn’t infect him and make him stand on the roof of the orphanage.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-” The words dribbled from your mouth as your tears slid down the sides of your face and into your ears. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” You didn’t know who they were for. You didn’t know what they meant.

You wished you could say love conquers all, but it doesn’t do jack shit in the face of someone who hates themselves. You knew that all too well, you had played both roles for so long you knew the script backwards and forwards and alphabetically. It’s holding the other and hoping your presence, your words, your existence, is enough to drive everything bad away, to at least keep them at bay for a moment. It’s being held by someone who is flowing with so much love for you and knowing it’ll never be enough.

You sobbed on the bathroom floor, pills rolling at every thrash and hiccup, Levi begging you to stay with him, begging you to just love him enough to not leave. But as you spouted out sorry after sorry, you could only find yourself apologising to the melted boy on the other side of the door who said you weren’t allowed to die.

.

The sun was bright, and you wanted it to be over already. Not by your own hand, you’d outgrown that fantasy and you were far too busy. But the Games were starting to wear on you now. It would have been fine if it was just you, or even with Levi, but trying to keep a whole team of unstable half-adults and terrified teens alive was getting you to your breaking point.

So you don’t know why then, if your emotions were on the brink of collapse, that you suggested going to the 67th Hunger Games arena. Levi hadn’t disagreed to make it even stranger; he had nodded while the rest looked on in horror.

If the precedent that Marco and Jean set was anything to go by, it should have destroyed the two of you considering you leant trauma to each other. Levi was probably more scared of a metal hook shooting out than you were, you were probably more worried at the prospect of snakes than he was.

To be fair to yourself, there were a couple reasons it was a good idea. The layout of the arena was sparse and therefore easy to spot incoming tributes, it offered a good visual point to see the cornucopia and the rest of the actual arena, and most importantly no one would want to go there except for suicidal bastards like yourselves. Your arena was notorious for a few things to say the least, but the noon lowering of the towers was certainly one of them. No one liked the prospect of getting sand in their lungs.

So the alliance waited until noon passed, watching from a nearby hill the way the towers were sucked into the earth before rising once more, as everyone else waited for you and Levi to back out of the idea. But you just stared at it wistfully, your skin already warming under the anticipated hot sun.

You stood and brushed yourself off, your leg still feeling like a rusty hinge. Levi rose next to you, offering an arm to steady you. And with your hands gripped around Levi’s bicep as he held both of your swords in his other hand – yours having been retrieved from the mud the day before. The sand gestured for you to come forward, flowing through the ghost breeze you couldn’t feel yet.

You stepped inside.

You expected there to be a bang, an explosion, some sort of signifier that you were standing where your seventeen-year-old self once had. But there was nothing. Just the billowing of sand and the towers in their monumental glory. The others followed close behind; Eren was only a step above in dignity from holding onto your elbow.

Levi and you led the way, no way in particular, just what felt right and with no need to communicate that to each other. Into the abandoned city you went, the blue turned into a grid above you. Your hands swept over the sandstone walls and they crumbled at your touch, not used to such tenderness. But this was home, in a way you’d never truly understand.

With soft eyes you looked over the landscape, over the occasional red x’s you would spot, sometimes recognising its positioning, over the blips of green oasis’s you noticed in the distance, over the empty cornucopia at the city centre that looked like a child’s version compared to the new and improved one. Perhaps because the old one was for children.

It was beautiful in a deeply objective way. You could tread over the memories of this place that had caused you nightmares and peril ever since, but on its land, it was just a place that you had once been and nothing more.

With your arm and grip around Levi’s bicep, it was like you were two quiet lovers walking through a museum, looking at the sculptures, the paintings, but never dwelling too long on them, just observing and looking at what you found pretty.

Levi seemed to be the same, eyes occasionally lingering on the red x’s but that was it. He stopped when you got to where he had laid Niccolo’s body, indulging in pausing a little longer to remember how that long ago boy had laid in the sand after being stolen from the world with his own hand. Another boy’s hand. One that no longer belonged to Levi.

Eventually, as you absentmindedly wandered around buildings, left and rights decided on a metal coin flip, you saw a red x outside of a door.

Levi let you go.

You crouched down as the others kept their distance and kept quiet. You traced over the metal, each appendage buffed and smooth, all edges and corners precise and unassuming, fingernails scraping on the sides. It had been an equally red scene back then, though a lot less witnessable. It was strange seeing it…cleaned up like this. It should have been ugly, burnt your eyes, but yet somehow a simple x was worse. However, it didn’t upset you, just created a mild irritation at an artistic decision.

With a hand over the middle, you began to speak. “Hey Connie, it’s been a while. I don’t expect forgiveness, I never have, just wanted to say hello. It looks like unfortunately you won’t get your wish, or maybe fortunately, though I can’t say that I haven’t tried to break it myself, so I’m sorry about that. Friends are supposed to keep dying wishes though I hope at least you’ll understand this isn’t really my doing, not entirely at least. You’re probably still pissed at us, pissed at me, but those days in the training room are some of the few memories I treasure. Maybe you changed your mind, maybe not. Maybe Sasha helped with that. But see you soon Connie, I’m sure you can tell me all about it later.”

There were no faces in the sky that night. You slept well.

.

The next morning the alliance woke with dry mouths and got ready for an excursion. Sleeping bags were packed up, swords were dusted off, and abandoned cans were hidden under the mini dunes. Down the stairs you went, leading the charge, having already scouted the oasis. The group winded around the towers, joking as they went, the kids mucking around and Jean and Ymir antagonising both them and each other. Historia and Marco slipped into pleasant conversation with Levi and you about the plan for the day, and the schedule you’d have to keep by.

Levi’s hand stayed in yours, swinging between your bodies like a rope bridge, connecting two beings into one. He glanced at you intermittently, making sure all was well and dusting away any sand that got in your hair.

As you rounded corners you kept expecting to see someone, ready to jump out like an unwelcome surprise. But everyone you thought it could be, was decidedly dead. You saw Gabi and Falco relaxing in the sun with their backs against a tower, you saw Marcel, Annie, Bertolt and Reiner discussing their next plans, you saw Niccolo and Kaya leaning on a windowsill in silence, you saw Sasha and Connie pretend fighting and laughing their heads off. But they’d disappeared from your mind’s eye as soon as the image came, leaving you desperately clinging to the vision’s tendrils.

Sometimes you saw Isabel and Farlan, but never fully. You’d catch their heels and feet as they turned corners ahead of you, their voices carrying and beckoning you onward. You wondered if that counted as ghosts.

Not far from the oasis, the green of the trees now fully in view, you pulled yourself back into reality, looking at what was actually there not what you wished was.

Huh.

You stopped, crouching down to inspect something brown and black, Levi peeking over your shoulder with furrowed brows.

There, half buried by the sand, was a camp. Tendrils of smoke were still puffing off the charred wood, still hot to the touch. Sticks that presumably used to be covered in meat, were strewed all around with no care to hide their presence. There were a lot of them, and the owners weren’t scared of being found.

Your blood seized up in your veins as the grip around your sword tightened.

“Yo, Levi. You grown any yet?”

.

.

.

a/n: “I'm going to be (attempting) to post every two weeks or so” all I do is not write, eat hot chip, and lie

This ended up being my biggest accidental hiatuses apologies ive learnt my lesson :’) but I will ACTUALLY try this time though absolute no promises on the two weeks thing, I will get into good writing habits one day I swear

anyway! hope you enjoyed the chapter and i'd love to hear your deranged thoughts!

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#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #aot x you #aot x reader #levi x female reader #black-eyed susan #black eyed susan #levi angst

[leviismybby]

NoRegrets!Levi fucks you because he is curious and desperate for it. It's his need as a young man to explore you, to get to know your body. He isn't that experienced but he still has you squirming beneath him when his cock is pounding you. His thrusts are sloppy and fast, his grip on your hips a little too tight but you don't mind, it feels so good, he feels so good. "Fucking....fuck.." The curses that leave his mouth are a reminder that you're making him feel like he is on cloud nine. He doesn't kiss you on the lips a lot instead he leaves marks all over your neck, it's why he loves doing you in missionary, he needs to know that you're feeling pleasure. And he will get better each time you have sex until he has learned your body fully.

Season1!Levi fucks you because he can't show his feelings for you otherwise. He is in denial, he can't love, not now when he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Levi can't go a week without having you in his bed, he craves your body moving with his. "Good girl." He growls into your ear as he fucks you in doggy style, your legs feel like they are bout to give out, he isn't being gentle at all. You fall down onto the sheets and he slides out of you for a moment before laying on top of you, his cock penetrating you again. "Oh come on. I know my girl can take it." He bites into your shoulder as he rolls his hips against yours, loving the way you're whining for him.

Season2!Levi fucks you because he needs release. He is frustrated that he can't fight because his leg is injured, but that doesn't stop him from propping you on his office desk and sliding your panties down your legs before entering you. "Wet. I haven't even done anything, you naughty brat." He grunts his hips start moving, his cock slamming deep inside of you. "Fuck yeah. You love it when I fuck this pussy like this don't you?" Your nails dig into his shoulder when he starts to move quicker, despite his leg hurting he thrusts mercilessly into you, the desk shaking under you. He feels your pussy clamp down on him, his eyes roll back slightly before he pulls out and cums over your thighs.

Season3!Levi fucks you because he can be himself with you. Everyone is asking too much from him. He is tired of it. He kisses you on the lips, your tongue playing with his, the rough grip on your thighs makes a shiver run down your spine as he does you against the wall, your legs wrapped around him tightly. Your fingers are in his hair as you moan his name, tugging on his black hair. Pulling away from the kiss, Levi looks at your face memorizing every expression you make. His cock slodes in and out of you, the lewd noises only fire him up more. At this point he doesn't care who can hear you. In fact, it's rather indulging for him, he hasn't claimed you as his yet but you are, his and only his. "Can fuck this tight cunt all fucking day." He nibbles on your ear when you can around him but he doesn't stop. Overstimulating you until you can't talk anymore.

Season4!Levi fucks you because he wants reassurance. Your hands are pinned above your head, his fingers interlocked with yours, his warm body moving on top of you at a passionate pace. "That's it. Fuck, you feel so good." You whimper, your fingers squeezing his hand tighter, eyes rolling at the back of your head. Levi kisses your face, he is deep, and he knows that you can feel every inch of his cock. You're here, you're under him and he is so grateful for that. Releasing your hands, Levi takes a pillow and puts it under your hips to be even deeper inside of your pussy. You moan his name when he starts to slam into you so hard that the bed squeaks, your hand gripping the sheets. His hands rest on your waist, he slows down his movements to make sure that he is as deep as he can be, fucking you hard like you both need it. "Let me cum inside, baby. Shit." You nod your head and without another word, his cum fills you up to the brim.

Postwar!Levi fucks you because he can finally love you in peace. His arms are wrapped around you as you slowly move on top of him, your hips moving back and forth, pushing his cock into your depths. He isn't scared anymore to kiss you on the lips, to tell you how beautiful you look. It's done, he can finally give you all of himself and his time. "You're so fucking pretty. I don't deserve you." His hand reaches up to squeeze your breast, playing with your nipple. You lean down and kiss him, moaning against his mouth. Levi lets you do all the work and he loves it, he loves that you don't put pressure on his back. Pulling away from the kiss, your pussy clenches on his cock making him hiss. "You're gonna cum for me? Yeah?" His other hand rubs the side of your face, you squeeze his biceps and then cum on him, it doesn't take Levi long to cum after that. And you go for another round because you can and he will whisper a quiet "I love you" as you sleep next to him.

#levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot levi #attack on titan #captain levi #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x y/n #levi x reader smut #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x you #levi x female reader #levi x fem!reader #levi ackerman x female!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #aot x y/n #attack on titan levi #attack on titan x reader #levi aot

[angelltheninth]

Messy Sex with Levi

Paring: Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, messy sex, creampie, kissing, cumshot, sort of aftercare

A/N: Messy sex with someone who likes to clean up.

Hates how messy and gross sex can get but can't stop himself from going nuts when you have sex together

The only reason he's okay with making a mess is because he knows he can clean it up better than anyone else

Kissing is kept to a minimum and rarely a full make out session

Enjoys kissing your neck a lot, it's one of his favorite spots

Very gentle when he kisses you if he gave you a rough fucking session

Doesn't like cumshots but also doesn't like too much cum spilling from between your legs so he switches between the two

Says it's disgusting when he sees his cum spilling from your pussy but is okay with using his fingers to push it back inside

Always keeps something wipe the cum off your body after he releases it on your body

No matter if he is messy he wants you to make a mess on his cock when you come

Always wants you to clean his cock when he's done, which can then become him fucking your throat and giving you a throatpie

Your aftercare includes helping him change the sheets cause there is no way he's sleeping on that gross mess

#levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot levi #attack on titan #captain levi #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x y/n #levi x reader smut #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x you #levi x female reader #levi x fem!reader #levi ackerman x female!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #aot x y/n #attack on titan levi #attack on titan x reader #levi aot

[lucysarah-c]

I'll repost this because I can.

Wanna joing my tag list? Here!

Do you want an art commission done by me? Here!

#levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot levi #attack on titan #captain levi #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x y/n #levi x reader smut #levi x female reader #levi x fem!reader #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman snk #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi aot #aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut

[nelapanela94]

The euphony of your laugh is shrouded by the cacophony of the mess hall.

The band skews out of tune but everyone is too boozed up to even notice. People dance, clink their tumblers, raise their voices above the noise to twang more noise. Chairs screech on the floor, wobbly people stumble. Notes of malt and yeast linger in the air.

A sympathetic smile curves your cherry red lips as you unconsciously brush away your hair, revealing the loop of gold. The man looks defeated, shoulders slumped, a blush igniting his face as he tugs at the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry, Thomas.” Levi reads your mouth. And you squeeze the young soldier’s shoulder before turning around. Levi’s heart races as you come his way. The last swill of wine glides down his throat, but the drink is not strong enough to loosen his nerves. The empty bottom thuds on the wooden slab.

“Dance with me.” You offer a hand, and he doubts.

A harrumph scourges his throat. “I don’t dance, y/n.”

But you insist, a smile brightening your face. “I’ve seen you practice before.”

Levi blushes, his cheeks ready to combust. And he gives up, his fingers intertwine with yours, and the tickling spreads to his heart. “You look beautiful tonight,” he stutters. “I mean you always look—” a sigh. “Never mind.” He looks away, and you take the opportunity to press your lips on his cheek.

How callous you are. What if his heart stops beating for good? Humanity would lose its best asset.

And to make things worse, he spots Hange thumbing up at him. Erwin nods.

He grumbles and fulminates them with a glower. And immediately he mellows when you put your hand on his shoulder and his instinctively falls on your back. Levi leads effortlessly as if his body was made to move in synchro with yours, and for the first time in the night, he smiles, the tension ebbing from his back. You smell like oranges, and it reminds him of summer. This brief moment is an oasis, a shelter from the storm; he knows he shouldn’t get used to the bliss. But at least, he can keep this nerve-fluttering moment in a chest locked in his heart to bring it out when everything turns into a field of chrysanthemums.

Want to join the tag list? Click here.

Tag list: @stygianoir @lamees004 @lovolee3 @notgoodforlife @svftackerman @apolloshaiku @luvjiro @roralore @mikakayyyy @noctemys @galactict3a @son-of-a-banchi @sjdsarah @ackermendick @trippoverrt @cellgore @maeririka

#levi ackerman #aot #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #snk #snk levi #shingeki no kyojin #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #dadvi #dadvi syndrome #papa Levi #Levi ackerman x you #Levi ackerman x reader #levi x female reader

[kentopedia]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ LEAVING LIPSTICK STAINS ON LEVI

fem!reader, sfw, fluff, you leave lipstick all over levi before a mission and the scouts find out, just something super cutesy & short while i work on some longer pieces hehe, pls ignore errors lol, 1.3k words

“promise you’ll come back in one piece?” you say, smoothing the wrinkle between levi’s brow with a kiss. 

he glances up at you from under his lashes, crinkling his nose as a short, breathy laugh escapes him, one he tries to subdue. still, he can’t deny the happiness that slips onto his features, not when joy is so fleeting because of the life that the two of you live. 

cold hands run across your back, down to your hips as you straighten his collar, kissing his sharp cheekbones, the bridge of his nose. “i’ve made it this far, haven’t i?” levi mutters, squeezing your sides gently before shifting you off of his lap.

he lifts you, sets you on the edge of his desk, causing some of the papers that erwin had dropped off earlier to crinkle. a smile graces your lips as levi stands, stretching his limbs behind him, the chair pushing away from the desk with a creak.

“i’m going to be late because of you,” levi remarks, eyes narrowed playfully, but he gives you another kiss on the lips, lingering there like it’s painful to pull away.

“then stop kissing me.” your hands splay across his chest, but you don’t push him away, feeling his heart beat under his ribcage, the melody that you will always come back to. still, levi tugs your hips forward, slots in between your legs, and kisses you even deeper. “it’s time for you to go, captain levi.” 

a heavy sigh weighs against your mouth, his exhale warm as he pulls back. “sounds like you want me gone.” 

“of course i don’t.” your voice softens as you play with his fingers for a moment, before he's tugging them away gently, withdrawing from your figure. “i'm going to have to find someone else to sleep next to while you’re away."

normally, you would’ve been going with levi and the rest of the scouts, but an injury from your last mission prevented you from going on any more for a few weeks. 

levi snorts, putting on his jacket, fixing the leather straps across his chest. “is that all i’m good for? killing titans and keeping your bed warm?”

you make a face at him, then shrug, half-hearted as he stares back at you with amusement. then, you laugh, cheerful and free; you know levi will come back to you. he has no other choice. 

levi makes his way towards the door. 

“levi?” 

he turns, the lipstick stains still visible on his cheek, dark against his pale skin. for a moment, you wonder if you should tell him—if he’d be mad if you didn’t. 

but then you remember he’s going to meet with a squad of fifteen year olds that have all almost died alongside him. if they really have a problem with their captain being loved by you, then they don’t care about him as much as you thought. 

you smile and shake your head, voice holding just enough mischief for levi to notice. “just be safe. i love you.” 

he softens. there are times where levi is hesitant to say the words, still worried you will be taken from him. but this is not one of those times. not when you will be separated for days, his life once again in danger. “i love you too, sweetheart.”

within ten minutes, levi is down to the first floor, pushing into the room where the members of his squad are already waiting. 

he’s only a minute late, but he feels like they must have been waiting for hours, the way that they are all gawking at him with wide eyes, connie’s jaw faltering slightly. “everyone here?” levi asks, doing a quick scan of the room, counting heads like he’s their babysitter. 

no one says anything. eren’s eyes look like they might bulge out of his head, and jean covers his mouth, looking away as him and sasha let out a stifled giggle. 

levi’s mouth draws into an even thinner line. “what the hell are you snickering about?" he grumbles, looking at each of them individually, wondering who will be the first to confess. 

their eyes dart away dramatically, faces red. even eren, who is normally more obnoxious than the rest, seems to have run out of words to say. 

his eye twitches; levi wonders if connie’s head might burst, or if sasha’s laugh will rip out of her first. 

“well?” levi asks again, snapping, already tired of this mission. a hot cup of tea sounds nice, in bed next to you.

armin, as usual, is the one to speak up when no one else has anything intelligent to say. “well, sir,” the blonde says, gesturing towards his own face. “i think…”

levi touches his cheek, remembering all the places you’d kissed him earlier, wearing that pretty black dress and your dark lipstick. a sigh leaves him when he pulls his fingers away, the tips coming back, smeared with a deep red. 

he should've known.

“i see," levi says, staring for a moment, before meeting eren's eyes, his lips finally widening into a grin.

“ooooh," eren sings, his expression smug as mikasa elbows him, her own features pinched tight. "the captain’s in looooove."

levi knows they are expecting a reaction, a spectacle of the fact that he adores you. but he’s never kept it a secret, and he’s certainly not ashamed of all the things he feels for you. 

“and what if i am?” levi asks instead, pointedly staring eren down as the rest of the scouts watch the exchange. “honestly, i am surprised no one noticed sooner.”

eren’s jaw falters a bit; a small wave of silence falls over the scouts. you and levi don't make a point of hiding your relationship, but really, levi shouldn’t have been surprised that no one in his squad was observant enough to notice. 

or so he thought, anyway.

historia’s smaller, high-pitched voice breaks up the quiet, repeating your name back to him, as if affirmation that you’re the one he kisses goodnight. a silly question really, considering levi has never looked at anyone else with the same kind of tenderness. 

“it is her, isn’t it?” historia asks, smiling softly. “i only know because you’re always holding hands under the table when you think no one can see.”

levi raises his eyebrow. “clearly we were wrong about that.” though, of all the things to notice, he thought it’d be the way you kiss him after every mission, the way he’s harder on you than anyone else because he doesn’t want to lose you.

eren shrieks your name like he’s never heard it before, and levi is starting to wonder if the boy actually is an idiot. his old squad had known immediately; petra caught you sneaking up to levi’s quarters when you thought everyone else was asleep, kissing him on the cheek when you thought everyone's back was turned. 

it’s been a long time since then, he supposes. maybe the years have taught you subtlety. 

“how long have you been together?”

“does she actually like you?” 

“do you—” connie makes a lewd gesture with his fingers. “you know.” 

“connie!” jean shouts, whacking him on the back of the head. “what do you think! dumbass.” 

“hey!" connie says, rubbing his head. “geez. i just can’t picture it.” 

"i’d rather you didn’t." levi’s face turns sour, disturbed by a room full of teenagers discussing his private and romantic life. “bring it up again and i’ll leave you outside of the wall on the next mission.” he pauses, crosses his arms with an exasperated exhale. “and she likes me just fine. at least, she has for the past five years.” 

“five—” 

a new wave of questioning starts and levi pinches his temples, shakes his head, the red smear of lipstick still on his face.

levi almost wishes you could’ve been there to field the questions instead. you’ve always been better with the kids, connected with them a lot easier than levi had.

even if it was would’ve exposed his lovesick eyes, the tiny lift of the corner of his mouth when you were around.

he’s never been very good about hiding it anyway.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #xoxo rylie 💌 ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman x fem!reader #levi imagine #levi headcanons #levi drabble #aot x female reader #aot x reader #aot x you #aot fluff #snk x reader #snk x you #snk x y/n #attack on titan x female reader #attack on titan fanfiction

[ponderingmoonlight]

Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her

Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.

Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation

Click here for a cute little spin off

You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-

“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”

Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…

“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.

Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.

There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.

At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.  

“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”

His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?

“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”

You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.

“But what if I lose you?”

“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.

Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?  

With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.

One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.

“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.

-a few years later-

“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”

“Are you up on sale too?”

That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.

It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.

But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.

Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-

No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.

Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.

A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.

“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.

You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.

But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.

“When will you finally let me get her?”

He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…

“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.

Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.

“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.

How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.

“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”

“I will get her myself-“

“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”

Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.

“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.

As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.

“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.

“Where is Levi?”

“Maybe if you calm down-“

“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.

“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”

With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.

Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…

“I…hate…y-“

Silence, darkness, nothingness.

“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.

“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.

“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”

-back at the base camp-

“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.

“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.

Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…

You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.

You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.

It knocked.

Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.

“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“

“You.”

Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.

“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.

The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.

“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”

Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.

“Don’t.”

The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…

“Levi.”

“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”

“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.

He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.

And alive.

And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.

“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.

You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.

“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”

Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.

“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”

Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“

He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.

“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.

You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.

And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.

“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”

“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.

“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”

Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.

“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”

Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?

“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”

Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.

“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”

And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”

You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.

“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”

Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.

“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”

“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“

“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.

#aot fluff #aot #aot x reader #levi aot #attack on titan #levi ackerman #attack on titan x female reader #attack on titan x reader #levi attack on titan #levi fluff #levi x reader #levi angst #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman x female reader #hanji zoe #erwin smith #erwin aot #hange #aot x y/n #aot x female reader #aot x you