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What is it like to fetishise gay ppl? I’m in fandoms and I read gay fan fiction which is common (including explicit stuff) and sometimes I worry I’m fetishising gay men (I’m a bi woman). I don’t know where the line is. I feel like a terrible person. I obviously don’t want to do that but I don’t know if I am doing that, so could you tell me what it means to do that please? I don’t think I am, but I’m worried.

Hi there,

This is a really good question! I’m glad you asked it and I hope I can give you some helpful insight and advice. 

When someone is fetishizing gay people, it usually means that they are reducing the person down to their sexuality or reducing them down to stereotypes based off their sexual orientation. For example, we often hear straight people say they want a “gay best friend” to go shopping with and do other “feminine” things with. This is a form of fetishization because it’s reducing the person down to stereotypes simply based off their sexual orientation. Another form of this is how gay people are often seen simply as sex objects, such as how straight men often make jokes about watching two women have sex - they are being seen just as objects rather than actual people. I found a really good blog post about fetishizing gay people here that you can check out if you’d like more information about this. 

With all this being said, I definitely don’t think you’re doing anything wrong! There’s a huge difference between enjoying content that has gay people and only seeing those gay people as objects or gay stereotypes. If you were only seeing these characters as sex objects or anything along those lines, then I would advise you to reconsider these interests and explore where these beliefs come from. However, it’s clear to me that how you’re behaving isn’t harmful in any way. Enjoying this content definitely doesn’t make you a bad person and I’m sure the content creators enjoy having someone read their work.

I doubt this will automatically change your mind, but hopefully it eases your fears at least a little bit. If there’s anything else we can do to help, please let us know. Take care! 

-Samantha 

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REDESIGNZ

Can you redesign the genderhoarder flag? Its muddy and kinda gives me a headache. Id love it if you could keep the yellows and purples in, but if not then at least the purple! Thank you so much, and I love your blog

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Here ya go, Anonnie!! I really hope you like this, I tried to make it simpler!

nebularomantic
nebularomantic
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I was just wondering about Inside Out.

Ever notice, that in the mom’s head, all the emotions are women, and in the dad’s they’re all men? Well, in Riley’s head there are both male and female emotions. Why? Is she exploring her gender identity, do they evolve into whatever gender she finds herself identifying as? I think the emotions in the skater boy’s head are all boys, so is Riley genderfluid/nonbinary or something of the likes?

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BIND SAFELY OR DON’T BIND AT ALL!

Listen bud! I know dysphoria is an absolute bitch! I know that sometimes binding can mean a TON when it comes to your mental health! But binding unsafely is dangerous. I’ve tried a lot of methods of unsafe binding and now my ribs are fucked. Don’t bind with ace bandages. Don’t bind with strips of cloth. Dont bind with duct tape. Don’t try to make your own binder from tights, bathing suits, or leggings. Dont double bind. I’m going to include a couple pictures of what my ribs look like due to unsafe binding. This can damage your chance if getting top surgery. It can also hurt! I know you dont care about hurting if it helps your dysphoria, but you gotta take care of yourselves. You might not love yourself now but you might on the future. And you’ll regret binding unsafely. Please, everyone who binds, be safe!

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This is pretty personal but here we go. I grew up in an abusive household, and my church was my one escape from that. When I was there everybody treated me with such love and kindness. They were my family. But when I got a little older and realized who I was, I realized that they were only treating the part of me they agreed with with love. If they had found out who I am it would be a different story. They still don’t know I’m bi. But recently the only person from church I thought might accept me once I come out posted something extremely homophobic and it really hurt. This is what I created through the hurt. It’s not anything special, but it means alot to me. I am so so sorry to those going through something similar. I hope our lives get better, even if certain people don’t wind up in it ❤️ -Nan

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Last night I had a very very small breakdown about not having a girlfriend and then I dreamt about cuddling with a girl in the back of a school bus and it was all comfy and cute and aesthetic and HOLY SHIT I WANT TO GO BACK. HOW THE HECK DO I REPLAY IT AND MAKE IT COME TRUE?????

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I hate when people say I can’t sit on other people’s laps in a platonic way.

Like If I sit on my fellow Lesbro’s lap because I’m not a peasant who sits on the floor , i should be able to just vibe instead of hearing some dude be astonished at the idea two girls chilling on each other’s laps with nothing sexual/romantic about it.

Seriously this guy was astounded . Like just leave my lesbro and my vibe alone

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A Month of Friendship Prompts;

(Note; While the goal is to do one a day, please go at your own pace, this is for fun after all!)

1.  A group of misfits meet on an MMO and after meeting a very odd NPC things begin to get very melodramatic. They now meet weekly.

2.  “Being friends with you is so much easier when your not being petty.”

3.  Two old scientists are well aware their employer is trying to pit them against each other for some reason, and so decide to team up instead just to spite them.

4.  They had organised a dance number for this exact moment, they barely needed a signal to know it was time to make a memorable exit.

5.  The towns wizard, witch and clairvoyant had a friendly rivalry going based purely on who had the best familiar. No one’s sure who’s winning.

6.  “You tell anyone that I admitted to caring about you and rest assured there will be a snake in the next one.”

7.  They were very young when they spotted each other on either side of a fish tank and now they’re both enjoying their respective jobs as marine biologist and professional mermaid.

8.  All their worrying about introducing their friends to each and in the end they had already met! Question is, what sort of impression did they each make?

9.  “Look, we’re good mates so I’d die for you but you know I have work tomorrow, right? There has to be more going on for us to be doing this right now…Tell me we didn’t warp to another galaxy on a work night just to look for your shifty stubborn ex!”

10.  A loner spots a classmate trying and failing to sew a toy for their sibling’s birthday, feeling pity they throw them one their hand made hobby projects without much thought. Now that person won’t leave them alone and seems very eager to learn more about their hobby.

11.  Pairing up with a fellow villain that has a completely different theme going can be quite interesting. Still, friends who scheme together stay together, even if their aesthetics don’t match.

12.  Sometimes being a friend meant taking your friends to a secret spot where they could scream their problems at a squirrel statue.

13.  Two royals are very glad that the fighting between their nations are over and they get to spend more time together as they did when they were young, though having to get married is a little awkward since they’ve already got lovers.

14.  “We may be fools, but together we’re the best type of fools.”

15.  It’s always good to know your buddy has your back even when your comebacks suck.

16.  Finding out the other was also trans, they soon started swapping clothes and became known as ‘The Opposite Twins’.

17.   Game night was always a mixed bag, it could be uneventful, filled with funny moments they would reminisce on later or things would get very real very suddenly. Still, it was their thing.

18.  “Ah yes, how rude of me, let me introduce you to my dearest and closest friend. You may recognise them from that time you requested that I kill them.”

19.  None knew when ‘Boop Tag’ became a thing or who started it, but the competition was fierce and never ending, so much so they had formed alliances.

20.  You’d think after so long the ‘lend me a hand’ gag would get old, however, it didn’t stop them. In fact they started adding to it to the point that every newbie had a very interesting introduction to their group.

21.  “I’m certain of our friendship because you have a special piggy bank purely for my bail money. That is how long and how well I know you.”

22.  Besties decide to swap styles for a day out of boredom and curiosity, it is a strange experience for them both but fun nonetheless and only allows them to understand each other better.

23.  Every one of their friends got a friendship bracelet. All of them. No one even knew where they came from or how they could just suddenly appear like that.

24.  After being separated for three years, they spot each other on opposite platforms at a train station. How will this reunion go?

25.  Being a ruler would be a lot easier if their best friend was not a stone-faced guard that knew just how to sneak inside jokes passed other nobles. Holding in laughter did not look very regal.

26.  “I have thoroughly analysed our time together and have concluded that you believe me to be your closest companion. I am struggling however to tell if that means you consider me a friend or one of those animal companions.”

27.  Ghostly housemate is still unsure about your friend with the weird hair.

28.  Since their schedules never matched up, they traded birthday presents on a specific day, however this time they were having trouble with their gifts.

29.  They ended up breaking a number of items just trying to get the other to stop binging that damn show in their room and eat something decent.

30.  They were in so much trouble, so so so much trouble, yet here they were giggling like idiots.

31.  “I’ll trade you one embarrassing childhood story about them for a portion of your food.”

Completion Bonus!; Do a one shot or a sketch for something you love that you haven’t had the chance to do for a while! Or read one chapter of an unfinished story! Or watch one episode or movie of that thing you like! Satisfy whatever urge you have right now, you have all the time in the world for this so relax and treat yourself, you did great!

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