My dear lgbt+ kids,
I want to share a basic "how to keep your body clean" guide with you.
Before we get into it: I will write this as an absolute beginner's level guide. This is not meant to imply that lgbt+ people by default struggle with body care - I just want to take the shame out of it by removing any assumption of what you "should" know.
There are many reasons why a person may not know a lot about body care/hygiene. For example, they may have experienced neglect or abuse in their childhood. Just like any other skill, we need to learn how to keep ourselves clean - and some parents are unable or unwilling to teach hygienic habits. There are also many people who struggle with forming regular habits, for example due to mental illness or neurodivergence.
There is nothing shameful about being a learner! So, this is a completely neutral guide - there are no moral assumptions about you in here, no matter what your personal level of this skill may be.
Ready? Okay, here we go:
Two good reasons to clean your body on a regular basis is that it can prevent certain health issues and unpleasant smells.
Many people also feel more comfortable and confident when they feel clean and some people find relaxation or comfort in their regular hygiene habits - but it's important to note that you don't need to care about your look or need to enjoy body care to benefit from adding regular habits to your life. It's okay if your personal motivation is purely functional.
Four basic habits to add are: regularly cleaning your body, your hands, your face and your teeth. I said "regularly" here because there is no perfect number that works best for everyone - the most important thing to aim for is doing it regulary. It can take some "trial and error" to find an interval that works for your personal circumstances and for your unique body.
- The most effective way to clean your body is to shower. A schedule that works for many people is showering daily or every other day. If that doesn't work for you, try to aim for 3 times a week.
- On days you do not shower, you can use a hand towel or a baby wipe to clean your armpits (and any other bodyparts that may feel sweaty). Try to put on clean socks and underwear every day, regardless of wheter you showered or not.
- You (usually) don't need to wash your hair everytime you shower. Washing it too often can actually remove too much of the natural, protective oils and leave you with dry hair or an itchy scalp. Try to go a few days between washes.
- We often touch our face without noticing it (and so get whatever germs may be on our hands near our lips, nose, eyes where they can enter our body and make us sick). That's why one of the most important ways to avoid both getting sick and getting others sick (Flu, Covid, Stomachflu etc.) is to wash your hands!
- Use warm water and soap, make sure to lather up every part of your hand and scrub your hands for at least 20 seconds. Do this after using the restroom, before preparing food, before eating, after blowing your nose/coughing/sneezing, and after handling animal waste.
- In situations where you don’t have access to water and soap, you can use hand sanitizer.
- A schedule that works for many people is washing their face daily. It's a good idea to do this even if you don't wear make-up as your face may be exposed to germs or get sweaty during the day.
- The skin on your face is more sensitive than on other parts of your body. Avoid hot water and harsh cleansers (Your skin shouldn't feel painfully tight or look red after using a cleanser. If it does, switch products.)
- You can wash your face in the shower to save time or wash it seperately. That's mostly a personal preference! Just be careful to only use products on your face that are meant for your face. Body soap, shower gel etc. are usually too harsh for your face and will irritate your skin.
- Regulary brushing your teeth can prevent gum disease and tooth decay. Those problems can cause a lot of pain and (if untreated) even lead to other health problems in the long run, like heart disease.
- A schedule that works for many people is brushing twice a day. If that's difficult, try to aim for once a day. (And for difficult days: Using mouth wash is better than doing nothing at all!)
- If possible, try to visit a dentist every 6 months (even if you don't have any pain). When you go regulary, they can catch problems early on.
Something that goes for all these areas: A little bit is better than nothing. Showering once a week is still better than none times a week. Brushing your teeth every other day is still better than not at all. Don't beat yourself up if you fall behind schedule during a hard time. If you can only invest a tiny bit of energy or time into body care right now, then so be it.
What if you struggle to remember to do these things? Here are so ideas on how to build a habit:
- Set a reminder on your phone (or a good old alarm clock!)
- Print out a "behavior chart" (you will find free ones online like this one) and put it up where you will see it.
- Combine it with something you already do regularly (You take medince every night? Wash your face right after.)
- Give yourself a tiny reward every time you remember to do it.
Be patient with yourself. It takes around a month for the human brain to recognize something as a regular habit. The first 30 days will likely feel the hardest!
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
me describing my mutuals:
I Am Not A Girl
There is a feeling in everyone,
one that says our body is our home,
one that says we are complete.
I do not have this feeling.
In my chest is a spark, a hope,
that one day I will understand it.
The day has not come, since
the day is not my own, and
the day is mournful like night,
when Earth mourns the Sun
and pays no mind to the Moon
above the frigid, holy ground.
The Moon, ever present, is
often ignored in favor of her
sister, the light and the warmth.
But is the Moon not beautiful too?
She may be smaller, quieter, and
she may not enjoy the spotlight,
but she is a beacon of hope for
those who are different, those
who do not fit society’s binary.
The Moon is a safe haven.
She is lovely, she is a hug on a
rough, clouded, painful day.
The Moon can be my home, then.
A home for all misfits, all wannabes,
all who are underestimated and hurt.
Maybe this is temporary, like the
leaves in the fall, but for now,
the Moon is a loving embrace.
She says we are home, she accepts
us for who we are, she asks no questions.
She understands being shadowed by another.
Anyway, transwomen fucking rule.
Like, they put up with a lot and take the brunt of the transphobic bullshit that goes on across media and in the world in general. Transwomen deserve far more respect than they're given and I will throw hands for them, or do basically anything I can to defend them and show them love every fucking chance I get.
LGBT+ AUTOBOT STICKERS ARE HERE!
Get your’s here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1150497124/lgbt-autobot-vinyl-stickers
-Only 10 in stock rn
-US only (Sorry)PLEASE REBLOG
🎉CONGRATS CHILE! 🌈❤️
My dear lgbt+ kids,
If you identify as a girl, then you are a girl.
That’s how simple it is. You think of yourself as a girl? Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re a real girl!
No matter how your body looks like, no matter how your genitalia look like, no matter which surgeries you had or not, want to have or not, no matter if you have a uterus or not, no matter how you dress, no matter if you wear make-up or not, no matter who you date or not, no matter who you sleep with or not, no matter if you’ve always felt like a girl or not - You’re a girl.
If “I’m a girl” feels right, well, then it is right. No further discussion necessary. You don’t need to fulfill any other criteria to be “girl enough” or to qualify as a “real girl”.
You are a real girl.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
The Straightification™ of History
future historians interpreting text messages between 2 girls:
ya see gf means good friends, so these two women were obviously good friends
future historians interpreting text messages between 2 boys:
ya see bf means best friends, so these two men were obviously best friends
future historians reading a 'straight woman's' diary:
mmm. yes. she does talk about wanting to kiss women, but she meant that platonically. and when she said she doesn't like men, she is obviously lying because she mentions one like twice. sure it's the apple technician guy and it's mentioned twice cuz she's bad with technology, but obviously there was something going on there
future historians reading about two women being 'roommates' who slept in the same bed:
they were roommates and nothing else. they were roommates and that's it
future historians reviewing messages that sound like they're explicitly describing gay sex:
How to be Willfully Ignorant 101:
Brought to you by future historians
How to have a good internet experience in 8 easy steps
#1 - Stop having a bad faith interpretation of every thing you read
If you think something someone said might have been something you disagree with, instead of starting an argument, ask them to clarify or ask them specific questions about what they said
You will be so surprised to find that half the people you assume are being shitty or negative just didn't phrase what they meant very well
#2 - Learn to block people
It's free, it's easy, and it will save your life. Tired of someone tagging your stuff with characters from a fandom you don't like? Don't try to control them by telling them not to, just fucking block them. Less upsetting to them, less work for you, less inflammatory, more effective.
#3 - Don't share your entire backstory with strangers on the internet
No one is entitled to your information - not your pronouns, your age, your sexuality, your location, nothing.
Share the things that you're comfortable with, but remember that the more you share, the more vulnerable you make yourself to attacks. Like, do not share your triggers in your bio. You are giving abusers and harassers a to do list. Keep that shit private for your own safety.
You can get harassed, you can get stalked, you can get doxxed. Internet safety is real and necessary and the less we care about it, the more we set up future generations to get hurt through the internet
#4 - Learn to say, "It's none of my business."
Don't understand someone's desire to use neo pronouns? None of your business. Can't understand why someone is a furry? None of your business. Curious about how someone who talks about being poor can have a Starbucks in that last selfie they posted? None of your damn business.
If you don't like certain things on your dash, unfollow or block people. If you don't understand how someone can identify a certain way or do a certain thing or like a certain thing or feel a certain way or literally anything, just remember, it's none of your business.
If you have genuine questions from a place of good faith (i.e. what inspired you to use neopronouns?/what do you pronouns mean to you?) Go for it. But if you're only asking questions to draw negative attention to someone or make them feel bad or to other them, you're just being a nosy asshole.
Minding your own business is also good for you because - and I mean this genuinely - feeling entitled and superior is fucking exhausting. I know, because I've been 20 before. You will have a way better time online if you just stop caring about shit that doesn't concern you
#5 - Learn to lurk
Lurking is frequently seen as a bad thing, like someone who's lurking is somehow being creepy. The truth is, lurking is a great way to learn. More people should do it.
For example, if you're new to a community, spend some time consuming content and information from that community without saying anything. This goes for fandoms, queer spaces, disabled spaces, cultural spaces, etc.
Nothing is worse than being in a community for years and someone popping in for the first time in their life and airing their opinions loudly and with zero respect for the space. A great example of this is that post someone made about the leather pride flag. You know the one.
(If you don't, basically, someone said that the leather pride flag is embarrassing and insulting to the queer community and has no place at pride and then got schooled by hundreds of people about how the leather pride flag is one of the oldest flags in the queer community and leather daddies and leather dykes were the people on the front lines protecting other queer people from cops back in the 80s and 90s)
So basically, learn the history of a community, research your opinions before you decide they're your opinions, and keep your ignorance to yourself until you're not ignorant anymore. Not only is this better for community spaces, you won't have 9000 notifications of people telling you to shut the fuck up
Learning to lurk to educate yourself about a space also makes actually speaking in that space a lot easier
#6 - Stop believing everything you read
I'm not talking about stupid funny stories. Believe them - it's not hurting anything to get a laugh out of something that may or may not have happened.
I'm talking about news and current events. If you hear that some celebrity did something and there are no receipts, go and find the receipts or discard it. People spread misinformation on here all the damn time. It's like a game of telephone and, unfortunately, a lot of small creators end up getting slandered and canceled because of it.
#7 - Quit wasting energy on hating random shit
Being annoyed by a certain fandom is one thing, but actively hating things that other people do just because you're not into it is such a waste of your energy. Not only are you actively putting more negativity into the world, you're wasting your own time on things that upset you.
Focus your time and energy on the things you do like and quit scrolling through Tumblr user AnimeIReallyHate7648's discourse blog. You might think it's fun, but there comes a point where hating something goes from kind of fun to actually obsessive and unhealthy for you as a person.
#8 - Unlearn purity culture
This is a big one guys. What is purity culture? It's referenced a lot, but I think a lot of you don't know what it is.
In short, purity culture is when people take many nuanced situations and try to divide them into black and white categories. There's the Good category and the Bad category. The problem is, life is not in black and white. You can't put a neat line down the middle between good and bad. This kind of thinking is extremely regressive. Ask any therapist alive and they will tell you that black and white thinking is unhealthy and often a Symptom of Something.
So, what happens is, someone sees something on the good side and spots something they think is morally objectionable in it and says, "this can't be here, it needs to go to the Bad side." (Cancel culture). The problem is, people are always on the lookout for anything wrong in the Good - constantly looking for impurities so that they can completely sanitize things and therefore be free of sin. So they will look harder and harder and harder and keep moving things to the Bad side of the line until there's basically nothing left on the Good side.
This ends up meaning that perfectly good media is canceled because every character in it didn't make the perfect, right choice every time. It damages media in that it demands characters be completely flawless - something no human is. When a character does something that's actually problematic, even if the media doesn't condone the behavior, instead of engaging with it and using it as an opportunity to learn and teach other people why that wasn't okay, people who subscribe to purity culture throw the baby out with the bathwater, saying the entire piece of media should be canceled because its creators support the problematic action of that character (even if they don't).
This entire line of thinking is extremely unhealthy, heavily informed by Christianity, infantilizes adults, assumes no one can distinguish fiction from reality, and promotes censorship, which has a long and sordid history.
I could go on about this at length, so if anyone wants a full post, just let me know. But the point is, purity culture is bad for community, it's bad for media, it's bad for healthy emotional and intellectual development, it's bad for interpersonal understanding and empathy, and it's bad for you.
Unlearn purity culture and you will be a happier person. If all else fails, remember step #4.
gay people will go out in public looking like fucking willy wonka and be too scared to ask the waiter for a refill
Anti-Polyam attitudes that center around “It’s just cheating, but the other person knows about it” SO clearly come from people who have no understanding of why cheating is bad.
Cheating isn’t bad because you had sex with someone else. Cheating is bad because you violated the terms of your relationship. Cheating is bad because you violated your partner’s trust. That’s why things other than sex can be cheating- it’s why there’s emotional cheating.
Cheating is bad because it is violating your partner’s trust. It is bad because you and your partner(s) decided on something, trusted one another, and you said “fuck them and their trust”. THAT is why it is bad.
Polyamory is not cheating. In polyamory, everyone knows about everything and everyone. Everyone consents. There is communication. If not everyone is aware and consents, then it’s fucking cheating. There’s a damn difference.
There’s also the “Polyamory is bad because you’re having sex with someone who isn’t your one true love” which... I could go on all day about how fucking stupid that is, but same principle.
In honor of Pride month- stop shitting on polyamory and polyam people. And stop telling us that we’re all cheaters, because if you say that, you’re coming from a place of totally misunderstanding why cheating is bad. And, spoilers, cheating isn’t bad because of the sex.
types of dnd characters gay people make
Closeted Trans Person Gender Envy Character™
idealized version of myself
As Fruity And Extra As Possible
I Saw One Of The Extra Fantasy Races That Aren’t In The Player’s Handbook And Almost Had A Stroke
a race + class that typically would not go together
buff wlw fighter
tag yourself or add ur own
edit: holy fuck this post is a JOKE yall. i was making a JOKE . also i'm deleting the "repressed trauma" bit bc it wasn't rly funny and kinda a bad joke for me to make sry
Heyo! With pride month starting, here's a quick comic on pride Etiquette, a short guide / general tips on treating lgbt+ people, for the new, curious, and those who forgot!
1) Treat people's identities as the indisputable truth. Even if you don't think they fit the definition, even if you don't understand (the identity), even if you think they're lying, even if they're a bad person. It's not your job nor your business to tell people what to call themselves. Unless they ask for your opinion, only the individual can make that decision.
*There's very few times when an identity can actually be harmful. This includes predatory labels, labels that are bigoted by definition, or people identifying with culture-specific labels when they're not part of that culture. Otherwise, leave them be!
2) Respect and use people's pronouns, regardless of how you feel about them! If you don't know how they work, ask! If you accidentally misgender someone, correct yourself and move on! No need for lengthy or dramatic apologies. However, also make sure to ask when it's appropriate to use them! Someone may not be out to parents, certain friends, etc, and will ask you to purposefully misgender them for safety.
3) LGBT+ people are not responsible for someone else's anti-lgbt+ views! Strange, unbelievable or confusing identities do not cause bigots to be bigots- the lgbt+ community was made because we don't fit society's box, don't fall into the trap of forcing people into another one! If they're not actually hurting anyone, then leave them be!
4) You're not expected to learn every single lgbt+ term / identity. Nobody knows all of them, not even lgbt+ people, so don't worry about it! Simply learn and ask questions as you go!
5) If you're curious about someone's identity, ask if they're comfortable with questions first! There's no harm in educating yourself, but sometimes we get tired of being walking encyclopedias!
Thanks for reading, and happy Pride!!!
My dear lgbt+ kids,
“Before I met you, I didn’t know what real love was” is cute and romantic, no doubt - but please know that’s not the only way or even necessarily the right way.
It’s not true that all your former relationships will look meaningless once you meet “The One” or at least it’s not true for everyone in the whole world.
Sometimes it’s “I really loved them with all my heart and now I really love you with all my heart”. That doesn’t mean this love is any less special or less real.
Hey, sometimes it’s even “I love both of you with all my heart, at the same time”.
Or it’s “I am the one for me - I don’t want or need to find my better half, I’m whole”.
Or it may be “I love my best friend, in a completly platonic way, but our love for each other means more to me than a romantic relationship ever could”.
My point is that our obession with “soulmates” can make us blind to all the beautiful and diverse kinds of love in this world. All the beautiful and diverse kinds of love that can happen in one life - without making the other loves smaller or ending them.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
archer bf and artist bf makes almost 1 whole glove send tweet