Algunas veces... Me encantaría poder verme y expresarme como en realidad me siento.
Siempre he tenido que ocultarlo de una u de otra manera solo por que no tengo "permitido" ser algo que ellos no desean que sea, algo que los ponga en mal, algo que los deje como aquellos que dejaron que "se desviara del camino" y ahora sea tema o la burla familiar.
Es cansado, sin duda, escuchar todos los días gritos, regaños, miradas o advertencias, hace años me rendí por intentar pedir compresión ya que sé bien que nunca llegaría, desde el momento en que escuché un "¿Qué hice mal?" de sus labios, un "No sabes lo que quieres" y "Te queremos pero porfavor cambia" supe que en realidad el apoyo que dicen darme no es real, por que no escondes a tu hijo de los demás, no lo callas cuando esta a punto de decir algo relacionado a "eso", no te sientes avergonzado de él y tomas sus sentimientos como idioteces dignas de solo una fase.
Joder, esto era y es tan recurrente que llegué a ese punto de cuestionarme la razón de todo, de creerme que solo soy algo descompuesto, algo que debe seguir tras un armario y jamás ver la luz del sol.
Pero hay personas tan preciosas que me tocó conocer que simplemente... Me quedo a escasas palabras de describirles y agradecerles por todo lo que hicieron sin haberse dado cuenta.
Me brindaron luz, me brindaron cariño, amor y confianza.
Les aprecio con todo mi ser y el darme las palabras sinceras que tanto necesitaba en su momento es algo que siempre valoraré, puede que solo mantenga el silencio bajo su techo por ahora para no generar más conflictos y roses (pues pese a todos les quiero y me duele cada que pienso de nuevo en estas cosas), pero no falta demasiado para ser al fin libre de todo, mi forma de sentir y amar no está errada, eso es algo que con orgullo hoy puedo declarar.
Lamento quienes hayan tenido que leer todo esto luego de meses de inactividad, la escuela está a nada de terminar y todo se pone más pesado que antes.
Solo quería expresarme un poco sobre las cosas que he sentido estos días al no poder ser el hijo que querían que fuera.
Estoy publicando más en mi Twitter y mi Instagram, por si alguno quiere ir a checar, links en mi perfil, gracias por llegar hasta acá. ♡♡♡
Y’know what I hate in games like Spin The Bottle? When your a girl and it lands on another girl, or when your a boy and it lands on another boy (Or when a person who’s non binary, or whatever gender really and is straight) everybody’s just like “Oh, redo redo.” but when it lands on the opposite gender nobody cares. Like bitch pucker up it’s for the game
I think that the best thing I've ever done for myself is accept that I am a human being
Accepting that I am a human being has helped me accept my mistakes and my embarrassments and cope with so many of my lingering regrets
Accepting that I am a human being has helped me understand that I can't hold myself to unreasonable standards, or expect myself to do my best when I am not at my best
Accepting that I'm a human being has helped me accept who I am as a person, so many facets of my identity from my sexuality to my ADHD
Accepting that I am a human being has helped me to be more comfortable being myself
Accepting that I am a human being has helped me realize that I am a human being who is worthy of respect and love
Accepting that I am a human being has helped me embrace sensuality and sexuality as something natural, and not to be demonized
Accepting that I'm a human being has helped me break out of the mindset that my body is an object, which in turn helped me grow into a place where I feel that I can freely express myself and dress the way I want without needing to be self-conscious of what other people will think about me, and that being sexy and being a sexual object are two entirely different things
Accepting that I'm a human being has helped me come to terms with and feel less self-conscious about things that are completely natural but often derided, so just cellulite, stretch marks, frizz, body hair, etc.
It is so incredibly freeing to understand and accept that I am just a fleshy sack of bone and fluid that was blessed with the ability to think for itself in at least some capacity, that is my existence and that existence is not inherently sexual, evil, disgusting, weird, stupid, worthless, or any other hurtful phrase that has been applied to me and the different facets of who I am throughout my life
Do yourself a favor, and accept that you are a human being
You aren't a robot, or a god, or a monster
You aren't inherently evil or inherently good
You are simply and beautifully a human being who exists, and that existence matters
hey, any afab trans people who are looking to pass better as male, send in your questions. i’m making an updated version of this post, and i wanna know what you guys want me to talk about. what are questions you have about passing that you want answered, along with any general tips i include ?
Scrolling through this hellsite anywhere near your parents/grandparents is basically just waiting for their suppressed homophobia/transphobia, misogyny, anti-semitism/racism to activate and having to pretend like you're not bothered at all.
Well GG is actually known to be bisexual. I don’t know why people keep claiming he’s either straight or gay. He had a girlfriend (even maybe was engaged, don’t know about this one but I’m 100% sure he was with a girl in his high school/university time). And now he’s rumored to be with a man so do the math, he’s most likely bisexual.
Just because someone dates someone of the opposite sex, that doesn’t mean they are necessarily straight or bisexual. Homosexual people often end up in heterosexual relationships for various reasons: confusion, experimentation, wanting to be straight, because it’s easy, to provide cover for their queerness, social pressure, family pressure. Sometimes gays develop a strong bond with someone of the opposite sex and try to convert those relationships into something romantic because it would make their lives so much easier.
So the assumption that straight relationships = straight or bi person doesn’t hold. Those assumptions especially shouldn’t be made about queer people in China, where there is enormous pressure not only to be straight, but to marry and have children. There are statistics that suggest that 80% gay men in China marry a woman.
I wrote about that a bit more in this post.
So for me, the reason I believe GG is bi isn’t because he was once with a woman, it’s because DD jokingly acted jealous about GG talking to women. I don’t think that he would have done that if GG was gay. We can be certain DD knows GG’s sexuality.
What do you think about the topic "shipping mlm cps is fetishizing homosexual relationships"? (top/bottom discourse excluded because that is definitely fetishizing and just plain wrong)
In general I don’t think it’s any more fetishizing than shipping straight couples is. All ‘celebrity worship’ necessarily has an element of objectification to it. The celebrity is commodified, and as a ‘product’ they are consumed by those who take an interest in them. But this works both ways. Celebrities also have a pool of fans that are often a means to an end for them.
It’s kind of disgusting on some levels, but that is only part of what’s happening. People who love celebrities often take a genuine interest in them as a person, and celebrities often genuinely care about their fans.
The problem of fetishization comes in when fans are willing to ship men with each other (or women with each other as well, I’m sure, rarer though it might be), but reject and even stand against queer rights issues IRL. I see this a lot in this fandom. Fans who are all too happy to ship GGDD together, but who are unwilling to acknowledge or accept their queerness, and who are actually homophobic at heart.
I think if a fan is worried about fetishizing, then the antidote for that is to support queer identities and support queer rights in their lives and in their communities, and be willing to acknowledge, discuss and support those identities in the fandom. Bonus points for helping to spread that IRL support for queer rights/issues in the fandom.
One of my friends claimed that she used to be bisexual, but then “changed her mind” after she moved away from a girl she liked. So I just want to clarify something here.
You can’t “change your mind” about sexuality. You can realize “hey I think I’m Xsexual” and eventually come to that conclusion, but you can’t say you “used to be” LGBTQ+ and then claim you changed your mind. My friend basically said that she was only bisexual for the time she was around the girl she liked, then was heterosexual when she moved away. She could be biromantic, but that isn’t what she claimed. I’m not saying she’s a biphobe, I’m saying she’s uneducated and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. If she “used to be” bisexual, that just means she was either confused, experimenting, or both. (Not implying that bisexuals are confused.) If she ever experienced sexual attraction to girls, while still liking boys, she would be bisexual. She said it was “too hard” to be bisexual, so she “changed her mind.” Does she mean she was TRYING to be bisexual? I don’t know. She doesn’t make jack sense. Both my trans/bi friend and I were trying to explain to her that she was never bi in the first place if she wasn’t anymore, that sexuality isn’t something that changes, and that she can’t merely “change her mind.” My bi friend ended up being infuriated and offended by what she was saying. I just wanted to clarify this here so that nothing like this happens to anyone else.