#lgbtqa+ advice

[justsomeautistcthings]

Is there a label for this?

So I’m a lesbian but I have been questioning my gender recently.

Like I most of the time feel like a girl but some times it like no gender just vibes. And. I still like she/her pronouns but like maybe I could get behind they/them but still she/her idk

And sometimes I just want to be so feminine that like it looks androgynous. But also like I’m not a girl but at the same time am but also no gender but also I’m so girly and like it varies by the ducking hour!

So I’m probably cis but like that like 5% of the time when there’s no gender vibes is like throwing me off!

and I don’t know what kind of labels there and like I know I don’t need them but labels comfort me…. So ya.

Any advice?

Edit: I think I figured it out I think I’m girlflux!

Edit: Shit I’m confused again. (Can I be girlflux and trigender?)

#lgbt pride #lgbtqa #lgbt problems #this is my life now #any advice like at all pleas!! #lol #first sexuality than gender #girlflux

[hellyeahscarleteen]

Gender dysphoria can create a lot of tough mental health days. Our friends and partners play an important role in our mutual support systems, and for people who are dealing with gender dysphoria, having supportive friends and partners can make a big difference. If you have a friend or partner who lives with gender dysphoria, here’s how you can support them. What's Gender Dysphoria? Gender dysphoria is a feeling of distress that happens when a person’s gender identity or expression doesn’t align with their perceived gender or their sex assigned at birth. In other words, people experience gender dysphoria when the way they see their gender doesn’t match up with their body, with the way other people see them or with the way they currently see themselves. Anyone can experience gender dysphoria, but it has the most significant impact on trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people. Not all trans and gender non-conforming people experience gender dysphoria, but for those who do, dysphoria can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. People who experience gender dysphoria might take steps to alleviate those uncomfortable feelings or pursue positive, affirming feelings—also known as “gender euphoria"—by choosing clothes, makeup, or hairstyles that align with their gender; asking others to call them by a new name or pronouns; using tools like chest binders, bras, packers, or tucking underwear; pursuing gender-affirming mental care like hormone replacement therapy or surgery; and surrounding themselves with supportive people—like you! If you want to be part of a friend or partner’s support network, here are six things you can do to show them love and respect..." Read the rest of "How to Support A Friend or Partner Who’s Dealing With Gender Dysphoria" from Ro White to find out some basic but often deeply effective ways you can help the folks you love who are experiencing dysphoria

#gender dysphoria #trans #nonbinary #LGBTQA #advice #relationships #support

[katchleeifyoucan]

happy pride month! it’s time for an LGBTQ+ lesson with Kat 🥰 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

when a non cis person tells you their pronouns, ask what their preferences are because it’s different for everyone!!!

for example, “she/they” could mean that this person

prefers “she” but also uses “they”

prefers “she” and “they” to be used interchangeably

actually prefers “they” but says “she” first because of all the transphobia out there

and there could be even more possibilities because as i said, it’s different for everyone!

and here’s a fun ally tip if you want to make a non cis person’s day:

if a person still uses the pronouns they grew up using but also uses others, use the others! it will make them feel validated and seen 🥰

that’s all for now! obviously i can’t speak for the whole community, but if there’s anyone out there who wants to be a better ally, is new to the community, or is just curious, feel free to send asks! i’d be happy to give my perspective and do my best to answer any questions 💕

#non tword post #tword community #tickle community #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqa #pride month #kat gives advice #ask kat #🏳️‍🌈 #🏳️‍⚧️

[simonambroise]

hey, I've got a secret for you

Gender is fake. Do what makes you happy.

#transgender #queer community #queer #lgbtqa #LGBT #gay #trans femme #trans masc #trans rights #life advice

[definitelypreventable]

Demi peeps, what’s it like to eventually feel attraction to someone? I know it’s probably different for everyone on an individual level, but I’m just kinda wondering if it’s like a “click I feel understood” sort of situation or if you at some point thought “I really really like this person actually” or something else or…?

I’m acearo so I don’t understand the process of falling for someone at all, really. Idk, I’ve thought about writing demi ocs but I don’t really know how and I’m having trouble finding resources

#demisexual #demiromantic #demi #writing advice #questions for writers #lgbtqa #asexual #aromanitc #aroace #writing relationships #lgbtq #writing help

[bisexual-horror-fan]

I'm sorry if this is overstepping a boundary but I want to get someone who's more experienced with kink opinion on this. I'm 19 and AFAB (trans man if it matters) and I've seen people talking about how kinks aren't something 'innate' and that it comes from consuming too much porn. I've seen people talking about how AFAB people are having kinks forced on them by men and in general shaming kink any and all kinks.

I've known to an extent I've been into more kinky things since I was young and now I feel like I'm a bad person for being into kink. I'm still a virgin and I've never had sexual encounters with other people but after seeing so much of people talking about how kink isn't 'innate' and it's just pornsick men forcing it onto AFAB people I feel really bad for wanting to try kink when I'm ready. I have consumed some porn before and now I feel like the only reason I'm into this is because I viewed those things.

I feel really bad for being into kink because of what these people have been saying about it. I'm not sure if this even makes any sense or if you'll understand where I'm coming from but I just want advice on if kink is something 'innate' or if it's just something 'pornsick' people enjoy. Sorry this is so long but thank you for reading this anyway.

-🪻

You aren't overstepping at all. This is very much what I deal with, super in my wheelhouse.

So, the people who are having kink forced upon then by others? Terrible. Awful. I hate that happens to anyone. It shouldn't happen to anyone.

But I hate the idea of kink shaming. Kinks are not for everyone, I understand that. But if you practice them safely, sanely, consenually with your partners then that shouldn't be anyone else's concern.

I don't think kinks come solely from being "pornsick" (wow I hate that term) could it fit some? Sure. But human sexuality is vast and complex, many kinks existed and we have evidence of such before porn on tape was ever a thing.

Humans love to fuck, humans love pleasure, humans will seek ways to improve their sexual experience and have since forever, pretending that isn't the case seems sex negative, ignorant, ignoress history and reads as foolish to me.

Discuss with your partners when you get them, engage with kink how you like, have fun and be unapologetic about it too! Don't let some lame ass kinkshamer rain on your parade when you've done nothing wrong. You aren't wrong, dirty or broken Anon.

#This is why this blog is here #Normalizing fringe kinks and sexuality #Also people who spout this stuff it feels very homphobic too because kink is such a heavy thing tied to LGBTQA+ culture #So I'm always wary of people saying that shit and you should be too #Sorry for the hard feels Anon #You got this #BHF asks #BHF advice

[laurensliminalspace]

Beginner’s guide to wlw dating

If you’re a woman who’s never tried dating the same sex before, the wlw (women-loving-women) dating scene can be really intimidating. I know when I first deconstructed my old, conservative religious beliefs and opened up my dating apps to women, it was pretty nerve-wracking! I was excited and curious, but I really had no idea what I was doing. It took me a while to find my feet, so be patient with yourself. There’s no need to rush!

Dating men can often seem much more straightforward, especially at the start, because the gender roles are more clearly laid out - so it’s easier to know what’s expected. Men are still largely expected to ask women out and take the initiative, so as women we don’t have to stick our neck out and risk rejection as much. Not to mention men are generally far less selective than women, at least in the initial stages of matching online and going on dates. Finding casual sex with a man is typically much easier and quicker than finding casual sex with a woman, as well.

That said, there are many advantages to dating women. Women are far less likely to slut shame or devalue another woman for having sex early on, and engaging in casual or ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous relationships. Casual sex with women is typically safer as well - there’s less risk of assault, catching STIs, and no risk of pregnancy. Taking initiative with a man might be seen as desperate or too masculine, while taking initiative with a woman is more likely to be seen as confident and assertive.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and need some guidance, here are some tips to get you started!

1. Don't be afraid to take the initiative. Many women won't make the first move, so you'll probably have to ask them out and initiate physically. I generally find the rule of three is a good rule of thumb - ask someone out on a date three times, then step back to see if the other person reciprocates.

This can be helpful when asking questions on apps during the texting stage too. Try asking questions three times in a row, then pause to see if the other person asks you anything. While people have different conversational styles - and some people don't like asking lots of questions - it can give you an idea of whether the person is curious and interested in you.

2. Women tend to be more subtle and cautious when flirting too, so it may be harder to detect. If you meet a woman in public, it’s likely she will just assume you’re straight, unless you meet at a LGBT-themed event or dress in a way to make it really obvious you are into women (e.g. wearing pride themed accessories). 

If in doubt, be direct, as most people have a hard time detecting flirting accurately anyway. Not to mention, many people just flirt for fun and for an ego boost, so it’s best to communicate clearly and openly if you are genuinely interested.

3. Don’t be afraid to ask direct questions like, what are you looking for on here? Also don’t be afraid to ask if the person is single or married, and whether they are seeking a monogamous or ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationship. There’s a fairly high number of unicorn hunters in the wlw dating pool - couples seeking women for MFF threesomes or triads - so it’s important to screen them out if it’s not your thing.

Also, stay alert for people catfishing. If you’re unsure, insist on a voice or video chat before meeting in person. Make sure you meet in a safe, public place, and let someone know where and when you are going. 

4. You won't get as many likes and matches from women as men, so don't take it personally. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive or undesirable! There's way more men on apps than women, and men are far less picky as a rule (at least when it comes to having sex - men may be more choosy when it comes to commitment and marriage). Not to mention, statistically LGBT women are a small minority compared to cishet men. 

5. I recommend the dating apps HER and LEX to start off with, if you're looking for LGBT-specific apps. However, plenty of lesbian, bi and queer women also use the mainstream apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OkCupid. As well as that, there’s a few subreddits specifically aimed at LGBT women, including r/lesbianr4r and r/l4l and r/meetLGBT.

6. Try attending local LGBT-themed events and meetups. You could start with Meetup.com, but I find a large number of local events are primarily advertised via Facebook. I would recommend joining local LGBT Facebook groups to find out more about social activities in your area. Volunteering can be a great way to get to know new people as well, so check out any local volunteer opportunities.

Further Resources:

It can be helpful to familiarise yourself with common slang in the LGBT community. The HER app website has a great glossary here: The Official Lesbian Slang Glossary from HER

I'd recommend this website for some great resources - if you scroll down to the bottom of the page, you can find some free video classes and workshops: Conscious Girlfriend Academy

Autostraddle has some great articles to get you started too: How to Be a Girl Who Dates Girls: Your Lesbian Dating 101 Syllabus 

Check out this page for safe sex tips with women: Figuring Out How to be a Lesbian Safer Sexpert  

Best of luck!

#wlw #lesbian #bisexual #lesbiandating #bisexualdating #queer #queerdating #tips #advice #guidance #LGBT #lgbtqia #lgbtqa #beginnersguide #dating101 #sapphic #sapphicdating #onlinedating #datingtips #datingguide

[shynerdwantscuddles]

I’m terrified of dating sites, but I’m also getting desperate. Anyone tried it? What was your experience. Anyone know any anxiety friendly sites? I’m super inexperienced with dating and there’s not a ton of queer people in my age range where I live.

#queer #dating #dating advice #dating apps #help #questions #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtqa #w|w #w|nb #nb|nb #my post

[ask-an-asexual-anything]

Hey I would really love some advice! I (bi, she/her, 19) been dating this girl (pan, she/her, 20), let’s call her bea, for around 8 months now. I really love her a lot and feel so comfortable and happy around her. Because of covid we didn’t really do a lot of physical stuff but we did talk/text about it. Now we are both fully vaccinated and are starting to see each other inside/without masks now. A week ago, bea told me that she is ace. I totally support her and support ace people and think they are valid but I’m not really sure what to do. I am not asexual and sex is something I want/look forward to in a relationship. I’m not at all upset at her but I dont know how to make this work. Would I be a horrible person for breaking up this relationship because of this? Or would I be an even worse person for keeping our relationship together but be unhappy in it? I feel so terrible even thinking about this because I love bea so much and I just want to be her supportive girlfriend. Any advice? You also definitely don’t have to answer an allo’s question if you don’t want to/if any of this makes you uncomfortable!! :)

I have no problem with answering an allo's question; this blog is for everyone's questions after all. However, there is no easy answer for this.

If sex is important to you and bea is sex repulsed (doesn't want to have sex), it might be easier to break up. It doesn't make you a bad person - it's like when people break up because one wants kids and the other doesn't. It just means you two have goals for the relationship that are too different to work together.

If you think you can go without sex and she's sex repulsed, then I would say stay in the relationship for as long as you love her.

If bea isn't a sex repulsed ace (meaning she doesn't experience sexual attraction, but might also be interested in sex), then you can try talking to her about whether or not she's open to doing it with you, and if she is, just make sure you don't make her feel like she has to in order to have your love.

#lgbtqiap #lgbt #lgbtqi #lgbtq #lgbtqa #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtqia #allo #allosexual #asexual #romantic ace #romantic asexual #ace #sex favorable asexual #sex repulsed asexual #relationship #relationship advice #advice #queer #aspectrum #aspec #acespec #ace spectrum #asexual spectrum #cw: sex mention #ask #answer #attraction #supportive #support

[aceofmoxes]

Once again, my parents have confirmed that my sibling can be agender and bisexual, but I am not allowed to be.

I have no idea what to even call this. Is it because I’m the oldest? I don’t know how to handle this. Please advise.

#LGBTQA #hate #help #agender #bisexual #trans #advice

[goddesscookiefelix]

Thoughts…

Things one ponders on her 11pm night shift.

Young Clay Aiken when he lost his virginity is todays Lance Bass. Clay Aiken today is just Tilda Swinton on her best day. - Goddess Cookie Felix

I’m fucking Jesus Christ but I’m not fucking Jesus Christ-Mary Magdalene

Is that her personality or it is cocaine? Thoughts about Nicole Scherzinger…

To be continued….

#clay aiken #tilda swinton #lgbtq positivity #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbtqa #lgbt pride #actors #celebrity #nicole scherzinger #mary magdalene #crack cocaine #lance bass #backstreet boys #black tumblr #wisdom #life advice #life quotes #inspiration #politics #politician #love quotes #literature

[your-older-brother-figure]

My ask box is open

Come talk to me!!! Vent! Ask questions about life! Tell me about your day!! Anything!

#send asks #asks open #askmoss #life advice #life tips #adulting #help #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtqa #lgbtqia #lgbtqplus #gay pride #gay #lesbian #bisexuell #bisexuality #bisexual #pansexaul #pansexual #wlw #nonbinary #transgender #trans ftm #mtf trans #ftm #mtf #asexual #aromantic

[guckies]

My best friend just asked me out is this what every queer person experiences?

#lgbtqa #like advice bc I think I’m freaking out but at the same time maybe I’m not

[maneattract]

“Schedule your poops before content!”

But why?

#streaming #nintendo #gaming #filmmaking #mario #minecraft #youtube #youtuber #video games #twitch #lgbt representation #lgbtqa #discord #advice #goofy #stream #twitch streamer #live #live stream #questions

[bringinbackpod]

Interview with BraydBunch

#advice #braydbunch #celebrityboxingchampion #dj #history #interview #lgbtqa #music #musichistorypodcast #musicinterview #musicpodcast #musicpodcastinterview #newmusic #nonbinary #nonbinaryninja #podcast #pride #songwriter #songwriterpodcast

[jujusworlds-blog]

maybe Im quite harsh on her sometimes.... like i forgot the gap between us.... hmmm idk... or maybe I'm asking too much ... or expecting too much from her ...

maybe this time I need to take things together with my emotion slowly

#lesbian #lgbtqa #queer relationships #wlw love #relationship advice #queer love