tired of ppl treating non binary genders like they aren't actual genders like female or male. no i'm not a "non woman," a "non man" a boy or girl. i'm agender, an enby if you will. it's a whole different gender. no i could never be a lesbian even though i'm afab. crazy right? it's almost as if being trans means you aren't your gender assigned at birth.
if someone likes me- they're bisexual (or pan, omni, poly, etc.) bc guess what...if they're attracted to one gender, PLUS mine... that's more than one gender! i don't try to hide my chest and purposely look androgynous to the point you can't decipher me as male or female just so a tiktok "lesbian" can be like "😍."
it's like a lesbian saying they would date a trans guy... stop invalidating nonbinary trans people who aren't connected to their agab/binary genders, thanks.
When we find out that a character is(or has evidence to be) canonically trans, it means that they weren't passing enough for the fandom to not suspect them, which means there are even more trans characters that fully pass and everyone in fiction is now trans no-take-backsies
I grew up thinking the world was fair and just. But clearly I was wrong.
You told me that my friends and I were born in a world where we can be ANYTHING we want, and yet people tell me that I can't lead a company because I'm a WOMAN, and that my brother can't cry or show that he has human emotions because he's NOT.
I was told that all people were EQUAL, no matter what, and the only thing that they can be judged for are their actions, but I still see people KILLED for who they love, who they identify as, who they pray to, and the color of their skin.
I began to see that things weren't as good as they were supposed to be.
It started with simple things that got worse- People insulting me at school for taking pride in my culture, recieving strange looks in public, to people catcalling me and making me feel UNSAFE in my own body, to my generation having their lives taken away because YOURS decided that your guns were more important than our LIVES.
YOU told me that if I keep my head down and mind my own business, I would have nothing to worry about- But Breonna Taylor didn't do anything, did she?
YOU told me that I was young, and that I had nothing to worry about because they wouldn't hurt a child- But Tamir Rice was a child younger than I am now when he was killed.
YOU told me that I wouldn't be violated if I dressed modestly, didn't travel alone, and a million other things- Nirbhaya was careful too.
YOU told me that if I study well, I can help those who weren't as fortunate as I am- But I can't do that in the economy YOU ruined, or when I'm in a risk of being killed in the very place I'm supposed to learn, can I?
YOU say that global warming is a hoax, that we're all stupid, even the scientists that PROVED that global warming exists and that our planet is DYING MULTIPLE TIMES.
You spend your time praying and calling yourself holy- yet on your hands is the BLOOD of my gay brothers and sisters, your soul is tainted with the TEARS of my trans brothers and sisters, and the LIVES of my colored brothers and sisters are being CRUSHED under your feet. OUR PLANET IS DYING AND YOU DON'T GIVE TWO MULES ABOUT IT, YOU DON'T CARE AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOUR OWN SELFISH PLEASURES.
I was afraid- Hell, I AM afraid.
But I'm not more afraid than I am angry anymore.
This is not how it's supposed to be, we're not supposed to be afraid for our lives, we're not supposed to hide our identities, we're not supposed to be putting our PLANET on life support!
We grew up on Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Hunger Games, and many other stories that told us that if we're angry and determined enough, we can survive the worst and fix our world.
Now you're surprised that's what we want to do?
You may be the generation that saw the beginning, but we're the ones who'll grow up to see the end, and if you don't get on board or get out of the way, the end is not going to be pretty. We are the generation that's ready to fix our world or die trying.
Algunas veces... Me encantaría poder verme y expresarme como en realidad me siento.
Siempre he tenido que ocultarlo de una u de otra manera solo por que no tengo "permitido" ser algo que ellos no desean que sea, algo que los ponga en mal, algo que los deje como aquellos que dejaron que "se desviara del camino" y ahora sea tema o la burla familiar.
Es cansado, sin duda, escuchar todos los días gritos, regaños, miradas o advertencias, hace años me rendí por intentar pedir compresión ya que sé bien que nunca llegaría, desde el momento en que escuché un "¿Qué hice mal?" de sus labios, un "No sabes lo que quieres" y "Te queremos pero porfavor cambia" supe que en realidad el apoyo que dicen darme no es real, por que no escondes a tu hijo de los demás, no lo callas cuando esta a punto de decir algo relacionado a "eso", no te sientes avergonzado de él y tomas sus sentimientos como idioteces dignas de solo una fase.
Joder, esto era y es tan recurrente que llegué a ese punto de cuestionarme la razón de todo, de creerme que solo soy algo descompuesto, algo que debe seguir tras un armario y jamás ver la luz del sol.
Pero hay personas tan preciosas que me tocó conocer que simplemente... Me quedo a escasas palabras de describirles y agradecerles por todo lo que hicieron sin haberse dado cuenta.
Me brindaron luz, me brindaron cariño, amor y confianza.
Les aprecio con todo mi ser y el darme las palabras sinceras que tanto necesitaba en su momento es algo que siempre valoraré, puede que solo mantenga el silencio bajo su techo por ahora para no generar más conflictos y roses (pues pese a todos les quiero y me duele cada que pienso de nuevo en estas cosas), pero no falta demasiado para ser al fin libre de todo, mi forma de sentir y amar no está errada, eso es algo que con orgullo hoy puedo declarar.
Lamento quienes hayan tenido que leer todo esto luego de meses de inactividad, la escuela está a nada de terminar y todo se pone más pesado que antes.
Solo quería expresarme un poco sobre las cosas que he sentido estos días al no poder ser el hijo que querían que fuera.
Estoy publicando más en mi Twitter y mi Instagram, por si alguno quiere ir a checar, links en mi perfil, gracias por llegar hasta acá. ♡♡♡
I read a comment on the LGBTA wiki misreading a gender (I forget which one in particular) as "Americagender"
Now I'm not much of a term coiner, I don't really coin any terms I don't experience... and there's really been nothing I've experienced that's unique to me. (I'm finsexual, abroromantic, and a trans girl. These are all popular enough terms that I don't need to make up any new ones.) So I've only ever coined 1 term.
But I'm also the kind of girl to take opportunities when I see them. So I did.
A gender related to The United States of America, patriotism, red white and blue, freedom, and traditional American aesthetics.
(And before this gets controversial: Yes, I understand America is a lot worse than it makes itself appear to be. But it does have an idea, and many, including myself, want America to follow that idea, and while I don't use this gender myself, I still do appreciate the ideas that the USA gave itself)
excerpts from my journal 📓 in light of a sudden important development 🌤
... Deep down, l know I should move away but I still feel like it's wrong like I'm wrong, fucking broken because I can't change myself to be who they expect me to be. I just need permission to move away. Permission to be my true self permission to live a happy safe life even though it means moving away... But they aren't going to give me that permission, because to them I'm a horrible human, who needs to be saved. Rescued from herself. The ultimate tragedy. A girl so far gone she doesn't even know that she is... I don't know what to do.
One step at a time right? * sigh* ... Right now, I love my family. I'm starting to feel attached to them again, but I still don't feel safe with them, I'm still keeping secrets, scheming my escape, hiding my real self, suppressing myself. This isn't how life should be. I deserve to be free, free to be myself at all times. As much as I would love to get caught up in the moment and feel safe with my family I need to keep my feet on solid ground, I need to love my self, all of me because my family will never accept me, and if I don't allow myself to accept me, then I'll feel like I'm wrong, broken, because I'll be reinforcing my family's standards and ideals, I'll continue feeling conflicted, guilty, ashamed, just for what l like and don't like. I need to give myself permission to be me, the real me no matter what.
That's how I'll get through this, accepting myself and giving myself permission to be my self. Tattoos, piercings, colored hair, part of the alphabet mafia and questioning my beliefs, all of it, I need to give myself permission and I need to let that be enough. I have to stop looking outward for acceptance and reassurance. I need to learn to trust myself and learn that I'm enough for me.