imagine if popular vampire media characters all had tumblr. that would be so hectic lol they’d have so much beef with each other
#this is about to be super out of character for all of them #but humor comes at a price
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👨🏻🦲 colin-robinson-69-420 Follow
Callout Post for @mag𝗂strate-murder (aka Astarion Ancunín)
@mag𝗂strate-murder (prev URL was @year-of-the-carr𝗂on-crow) has shown some absolutely vile, revolting, disgusting, toxic— sometimes downright evil— behavior on numerous (and lengthy!) occasions. This behavior has been repeated again and again. I would be willing to forgive and forget all of these things, IF they were first-time events or isolated incidents. They are NOT isolated incidents.
The list includes (but is not limited to):
Trying to attack his friends while they're peacefully slumbering.
The murder of countless (countless!) innocent people.
Theft. Maybe even robbery. Idfk.
Showing annoyance at the idea of saving entire groups of people from being enslaved or mass murdered. (These were two separate occasions... Yuck!)
I know I’m posting this at 8 o’cock, so many vampblr users may be currently asleep, but it’s my civic duty to provide information for the uh. The people at large. So there are more details, more moral crimes, and proof of all of the heinous actions this spawn has committed under the cut.
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🗡 magistrate-murder
I'm flattered. You just can't take me off of your mind, can you? Do you dream of me? I hope they're nightmares. 💕
🩸 blood-and-book-reviews Follow
I love how "theft" is directly between "killing innocent people" and "is chill with subjugation and mass murder"
🎸 the-vampire-queen
#did anyone else notice how they said 'moral crimes' #as if murder and theft and etc are legal? #lol? #weird... #<- prev's tags #my tags -> #YES OMG I NOTICED THAT TOO. #also what the eff? OP had to point out that astarion's a spawn? #why does it matter that he isn't a full vampire? #as someone who’s a vampire/demon hybrid that’s kind of a red flag to me :/ #ugh this is SO not math
12,987 notes
📚 j-harker
I’m missing @m𝗂ss-mina-murray. Currently out of the country for work.
💁🏼♀️ slayer-summers
Oh, I'm sorry :( At least the view is beautiful, where are you?
📚 j-harker
Transylvania. Why?
💁🏼♀️ slayer-summers
Get Out Of There Immediately Jonathan Harker Leave Get Out Now Get Out Go Leave Go Now
#buffy talks #slayer posting
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🎸 the-vampire-queen
I just learned about "vegan vampires." That's so stupid. Just eat the color red ???? It's NOT that hard
🎀 miss-draculaura
:(
🎸 the-vampire-queen
I'll make an exception for you
🎀 miss-draculaura
:)
1,600 notes
🐺 the-vampire-lestat
A preview of my upcoming book:
I am the vampire Lestat. I'm immortal. More or less. The light of the sun, the sustained heat of an intense fire-these things might destroy me. But then again, they might not.
I'm six feet tall, which was fairly impressive in the 1780s when I was a young mortal man. It's not bad now. I have thick blond hair, not quite shoulder length, and rather curly, which appears white under fluorescent light. My eyes are gray, but they absorb the colors blue or violet easily from surfaces around them. And I have a fairly short narrow nose, and a mouth that is well shaped but just a little too big for my face. It can look very mean, or extremely generous, my mouth. It always looks sensual. But emotions and attitudes are always reflected in my entire expression. I have a continuously animated face.
My vampire nature reveals itself in extremely white and highly reflective skin that has to be powdered down for cameras of any kind.
And if I'm starved for blood I look like a perfect horror- skin shrunken, veins like ropes over the contours of my bones. But I don't let that happen now. And the only consistent indi- cation that I am not human is my fingernails. It's the same with all vampires. Our fingernails look like glass. And some people notice that when they don't notice anything else.
Please, contain your excitement.
🐺 the-vampire-lestat
Who is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way?
💁🏼♀️ slayer-summers
Would you believe me if I told you we're still trying to figure that out?
#buffy talks #well ebony isn't real #but we still don't know who tara is
6,666 notes
🦇 cravensworth-king-of-bottoms
I've heard a rumor about this online webbed site; that is which it is filled to the brim with abstinants, celibates, and the like.
📸 liam-de-lioncunt Follow
Ugh... As much as I hate to use popular gifs, I feel compulsed to post this before anyone else does.
There. I did it first.
🦇 cravensworth-king-of-bottoms
Tonight, we FEAST. NYAH! HAH!
628 notes
🎸 the-vampire-queen
Just recorded this Mitski cover
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🧛🏻♂️ tepes-the-first
Why is it that when Gods demand blood, it's called a necessary sacrifice, but when I, Vlad Dracul,
💛 alucard
It's because you're evil.
🧛🏻♂️ tepes-the-first
For the last time, change your URL. Your name is Adrian.
📚 j-harker
I didn't know you had a son!
📚 j-harker
Wait, what was the original post about??
🧛🏻♂️ tepes-the-first
Don't worry about it.
📚 j-harker
Okay. :)
4,279 notes
💁🏼♀️ slayer-summers
I'm starting an emotional support group chat for slayers, does anyone want in?
💑 armand-de-la-cruz
Yes please!
⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3
Guillermo?
⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3
Why do you want to be in a vampire slayer group chat Guillermo??????
⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3
Answer my texts Guillermo
63 notes
✨ edward-cullen Follow
My beautiful daughter. Looks just like her mother.
🍷 dimitrescu-winery
Get that wretched monstrosity of a child off of my screen.
🐈⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho
wait, Ravioli is a real child? i thought she was just a photoshop meme of @the-vampire-lestat’s daughter Claudia?
6️⃣ vampire-count-er
What is the Vampblr number of the day? Let’s count the vampires of Tumblr above me in this post to find out!
Ah, that’s one vampire.
TWO! Two vampires!
THREE bloodsucking vampires! Ah ah ah!!
The number of the day is three!
7,012 notes
🐈⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho
💀 real-carmilla
?
🐈⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho
NO I TAKE IT BACK
CARMILLA I’M SORRY
🐈⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho
BEGONE WHITE GIRL
🐈⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho
please check your dms carmilla i sent you my address
1,982 notes
👨🏻🦲 colin-robinson-69-420 Sponsored by Blaze 🔥
The new The Vampire Lestat album sucks.
Get it? It sucks.
Because he’s a vampire.
It’s pretty funny, if you ask me.
#lestat de lioncourt #satan’s night out #the vampire lestat #vampblr #not a callout post
438 notes
🌙 werepire
Is no one going to talk about how problematic Marceline’s girlfriend is? Just because they’re both royalty doesn’t mean that Bonnibel can do whatever she wants with no repercussions.
I mean, here’s an article explaining all the horrible stuff she’s done [link]. Are we just going to pretend none of it happened?
👩🏻❤️💋👨🏻 nadja-of-antipaxos
Hard agree. Down with the monarchies.
She can, however, do whatever she wants because she’s hot
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Do you like any celebrities who is out of all your tops, but you still respect them? Who are they, if it's not a secret?
It sounds rediculous, but I have top 10 of outtops :)
1. Daisy May Cooper
Some people don’t like her on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Me too. Although she’s a cute girl, looks very vivid. But you know what? She’s actually very nice person. I’m following her on instagram for a long time, but only recently watched her account. She’s extremely different from TV! She can make quite useful stuff! She isn’t silly! For example, I remember she made a reel where she loudly says “No” This video was for the case if your self anxiety tries to get you, just say NO! It’s actually works! And I have noticed in some shows that she calms down people when they get nervous. Quite possibly that she’s a psychologist. I respect this people!
2. Oasis/Gallagher Brothers
2 beautiful men having great vocals. This band is one of the first when I started my interests to Brit Pop and indie music :)
3. Vic & Bob
I genually thank this couple for Slade, at least now I know who they were :D Also thank the for the Shooting Stars! In addition to sketches, it is worth to note how much funny they are apart. Bob Mortimer is an example of this on any show. It's really impossible to listen to him without a smile, he's just an incredibly crazy and funny person. He's crazy stories always killing ;D What can I say about Vic Reeves. I don't see him on the shows so much as Bob, but I think he's not worse than him at all. And both they are power!
4. Ant & Dec
Oh, this men! :) Some people know them as singers, but I know them as crazy and funny showmen. Their pranks are awesome, always laughing watching them in youtube. Their laugh make me laughing also, so genuine and contagious and they staing beautiful ;D
5. Stephen Mangan
It's hard for me to call myself his fan. But there is something attractive about this guy. I don't even know. Probably some charisma, personality. I like him being on the shows :)
6. Morgana Robertson
I found out about her in Taskmaster. She reminds me Noel a bit. She also plays different characters and doing different voices. She has beautiful big eyes and her smile makes her wobderful. Also loves giggling, smiling, laughing and being adorable :)
7. James Acaster
He became my favourite when firstly debuted as a member in NMTB. He was on the top for the ages. But now he isn’t. Yeah, I still watch the shows with he’s partition. But after his jokes in new NMTB about Noel who couldn’t be there for some reason, he was out. Probably, he joked, but I found it quite mean. I watched this episode with sad feeling that I was deeply disappointed in him. I doubt that he’ll ever be on my top 20 again. Only out of the tops.
8. Michael Patrick Kelly
The only celeb who is almost not English speaking and I like him. He is an Irish-America singer, musician and composer. Speaks mostly German. Kelly was born in Dublin. He came to fame as the third-youngest member of the pop and folk band The Kelly Family. He was well known as one of the main and popular members in the family band (Paddy at this period) After the band he still gorgeous and having a beautiful voice with the light accent.
9. Katherine Ryan
The most bitchy celebrity I know. She is beautiful and at the same time quite harsh. I respect her for being drop dead gorgeous. And her humor is nice ;) Thanks Mock The Week for let me find out about her more :)
10. Jonathan Sprague
Was The Jon in Steam Powered Giraffe. This band is a pantomime music project, something like steam punk clowns. Jon was a silly doll with cylinder hat. But after leaving the band he become a normal guy. And he is the most straight character of all the members of his band. And I think he looks beautiful :)
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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Beverly Crusher/Jean-Luc Picard, Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine, Jack Crusher (Star Trek: Picard)/Narissa | Lieutenant Rizzo
Characters: Jack Crusher (Star Trek: Picard), Jean-Luc Picard, Beverly Crusher, Seven of Nine, Raffi Musiker, Cristóbal Rios, Agnes Jurati, Soji Asha, Elnor (Star Trek), Narissa | Lieutenant Rizzo, Narek (Star Trek), Laris (Star Trek), Zhaban (Star Trek), Liam Shaw, Original Romulan Character(s), Borg Queen (Star Trek), Q (Star Trek), Data (Star Trek), Guinan (Star Trek), Adam Soong, Kore Soong
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Drama, Unconventional Families, Families of Choice, Team as Family, Romulan Culture (Star Trek), Tal Shiar (Star Trek), Zhat Vash (Star Trek), The Borg, Time Travel, Complicated Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Childhood Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Neurodiversity, Slow Burn, Idiots in Love, Enemies to Lovers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Series: Part 3 of Chateau Picard
Summary:
"Time offers many opportunities, but it rarely offers second chances."
[a retelling of S2 with elements of S3]
Vines
Chapter three is up! Beverly and Jean-Luc catch up an old friend, Raffi and Soji discover the limitations of historic data, and everyone else bickers and/or bonds.
The Exegesis
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