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meatriarchived · 5 months

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me an hour into our mom luda's birthday:

in cc / nosy / dusk / etc, luda's very quick to open her heart to maria and leland ( and whomever else johnny may decide to keep as well ) mostly because its' johnny whose bringing them around.

the hewitt household isn't...in the best shape yknow? the house? shambles. the remaining family? shambles.

most of them are dead or moved away, charlie's so focused on himself and monty's oblivious half the time. really, the only consistent help she really gets around the property is from thomas, and thats i mean. thats his mama yknow, of course he's gonna do everything and anything she asks of him.

but other than thomas? most of the time, i'd say its mainly johnny or sissy that swing by that way to make sure everythings' fine, to help where needed. and luda adores them both for that. and she appreciates it, deeply.

so when johnny suddenly decided to keep hold of maria, of leland, etc; and he brings them there to be patched up, looked after? she feels like she's repaying him for everything he does to help her out.

and i feel that she very quickly warmed to them both especially because, maria may have been timid and reluctant at first, but there's also just that gentleness in her that when she'd see luda struggle with something while she was kept there, she'd immediately get up to help, regardless of restraints she may have on.

and with leland, in spite of his trying to constantly figure a way out of there ( when he's not...you know........on death's front porch practically- ) he's polite otherwise, and she remembers when she first saw him, and how he was polite then, and part of her almost wishes he had heeded her warning. but, he's there now. and as long as johnny plans to keep him, and maria, tethered? she'll look after them without complaint, for johnny.

like while luda's in the same boat about focusing on the family and their needs and everything, she is also just. very human still, very nurturing and motherly, and she quickly comes to see them both ( and any others ) as part of the family, too.

#like johnny is basically her third son & sissys the daughter she never had tbh and she'd do anything they ask of her if shes able yknow?#but johnny having his lil retriever & lamb around helps alot - with getting things fixed up or cleaned or prepared at the hewitts.#maria helps her with the garden; sits with her for company while she's sewing/crocheting; helps with cooking or baking while johnny and lee #help thomas with some things - fixing enclosures wrangling the pigs up etc etc.#( & i say 'anyone he brings in' but. id argue danny/connie being kept would take her longer to warm up to; depends on how connie is fdsjk #and dannys..... it takes so long. cause hes an ass still. hes rude. he gets his shit rocked when hes disrespectful towards her. esp if done #in front of johnny i feel. my idiot hot-headed guy who doesnt know when to stfu. i would say too hes likely gotten out of his restraints #and knocked her over tbh and i Simply Know he was beat to an inch of his fuckin' life for it- )#[ lmh ] ── * 𝐇𝐂 / 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. { luda. }#[ ❤ ] ── * 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒. { luda&johnny / johnnysslaughter. }

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nie7027 · 2 years

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I just finished watching the third season of the umbrella academy and it's so funny because my family are all confused whereas I'm here like "oh nice! How Homestuck-esque it got!"

Now what i really want for season 4 is a time skip into the new universe where we are shown Viktor and Five threw themselves fully into roomies hole.

Nothing like Viktor, the best equipped in the team to return to a normal life earning money through his music now that there's no more risk of blowing up the universe with a concert, and Five, the one least prepared for a normal civilian life where he doesn't have to run for his life nor have powers and worst of all is still trapped in the body of a child.

It would be hilarious.

#the umbrella academy #also im curious about the new universe becauee despute righe he is an awful person #they got everything they wanted there #like luther was the only one who lost the love of his life #but #diego and lila get a chance to have a normal life together raising their baby #allison got both her duaghter and the man she loved back #klaus doesnt have dave but curiously he seemed to be st peace with rhat after letting go of him in season 2 #and now he kinda has ben back #five doesnt have to save the universe anymore and can life a quier life (or so it seems so far)#our ben had moved on long ago but this new ben has a new chnace to start over and change for the better #and finally viktor (who has also accepted the loss of sissy and harlan) can have a quiet life together with his family like he always wante #so they could hve it all now...?#except reggie is probably gonna fuck it somehow #damn bastard

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stormvanari · 9 days

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HIE and LOW bingos:

chart made by @/monzinee on this here app

(rambling/notes in the tags)

#serial designation h #serial designation i #serial designation e #serial designation w #serial designation o #serial designation l #i told you me: none of them are gonna get bingos #the relationships for I W and L are classified as friendships #E is antisocial because he remained more obedient to humans (not in a ridiculous way like I's) since he was revived from his grisly--#punishment; he used to talk more often prior to that :(#'was never a Worker' is metaphorical for I's case since he is intentionally behaving more like a human and wish to be treated as one #E's special ability is turning Worker corpses into his personal and controllable army/bodyguards #E's not ENTIRELY a pacifist like O; like W..E is very cautious with his surroundings due to his punishment back in the Elliot Manor #W O and L are unaware that the real Tessa is long dead and CYN took over her corpse as a suit :'(#W and L are friends #O and L get turned into 'big giant worms' and HEW had to battle them at some point #O's memories as a Worker are 95% (at min) wiped out; he can't remember who this Tessa really is he babysat back then #HIEWO all have a sad backstory of their own and then there's L having the time of her life as a Worker causing glorious hell around the--#humans #oh yeah I too even though he’s been thrown tomatoes at #LOW is that one friend group having a nice picnic while HIE is having a sissy food fight a hill away

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bdsmcommunityblogspot · 6 days

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How to Transform Yourself into the Attractive, Confident Woman You’ve Always Wanted to Be – Regardless of Your Current Age, Appearance, or Situation” I’ll Show You the Exact Steps to Succeeding as a Woman – Even if You’ve Never Done It Before and Even if You Think You’ll Never Pass or Blend in as a Female

Welcome, sissy Does life feel like a constant battle between your male and female sides? you present yourself as a woman, do you worry that you’ll never be accepted for who you truly are? Do you feel trapped in an identity that isn’t you? (Or at least, isn’t the WHOLE you?) If you’re reading this right now, then I know you’ve got a woman inside of you that’s longing for expression.

But does your outer appearance mismatch who you are on the inside?

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That’s why I want to show you how to become the attractive woman you are destined to be… no matter how impossible it might seem right now.

But First, Who am I? I’m an image stylist and femininity advisor who works with crossdressers and MTF transgender women.

I help people just like you achieve images that express who they truly are.

I’ve used my years of experience as an image stylist, fashion designer, and former professional dancer to transform hundreds of clients into the classy, beautiful and confident women they’ve always wanted to be…

Now I want to help you.

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wittlesissyb4by · 7 days

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“But i don’t wanna be a baby girl any more!!”

“Shhh, there there sweetheart! I know it’s frustrating. But you just have to remember that you asked for this. You wanted all of this. So i’m sorry that you don’t like your weird little fantasy any more, but your wife seems to really enjoy keeping you like this. She even hired me as a maid just to take care of you.”

“But I thought it was just going to be temporary! I didn’t think it was going to be permanent! I only like to wet my diapers, not poop them! And i thought i was going to be able to cum! But instead I just make other guys cum! I never get to eat real food anymore! It’s all just mushy peas, carrots, and even more cum! It’s just, it’s just, WAAAHHHH!!”

“I know sweety, i know. Remember that saying ’ be careful what you wish for’? Well i guess you understand that now huh? Now…it smells like you need a diaper change, so watta you say we go over to the changing table and change your diaper huh? Now i don’t have the key to your chastity device, but maybe if i hold my vibrator to it long enough it’ll make you squirt, how’s that sound?”

*Sniffs* “Okay…”

“But you know the rules…because i’m letting you cum you have to eat it all up you understand?”

*Sniffles* “Yes…yes ma'am…”

“Good…and instead of giving you your 20 daily swats with the paddle i’ll just give you 50 with my bare hand, how’s that sound?”

“That would be better, thank you Ms. Gloria!”

“You’re welcome sweetheart. But understand that you are only getting this special treatment for today. You were the one that wanted to be a little sissy baby. There are probably thousands of people around the world that wish they were in your exact position. So you need to suck it up, and try to enjoy yourself. I will not tolerate this type of behaviour from now on is that understood?”

“Yes ma'am…”

This is an old caption I wrote a long time ago, but for the life of me I can't find the original source of where I got this picture from. Anyone know what studio?

Edit: seems to be the model Sunny from AdultBabySource. Thanks to those who reached out to let me know!

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catsgut · 7 months

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EVEN IN DEATH - CHOSO

hehe my first kinktober fic!! it’s short but i really loved this idea of big brother choso:3 hope you enjoy!

warnings: incest, choking, death, necrophilia

choso’s love for you is a masterpiece, a symphony of emotions painted upon the cavas of his heart. your smile has the power to quench the thirst of his soul. there is nothing more intense than his sweet, dear little sister. he doesn’t know a better feeling than the one he gets when he looks at you. from the moment you came into his life, he was devoted with his very being. swore to keep you safe from harms way.

you knew how much your brother cared about you. you saw the hunger in his eyes when he unblinkingly stared through yours. he knew you better than anyone, and you preferred it that way. no one else make your tummy do flips and skin heat up the way he did. it was always him.

your whole life was spent lonely. you were an outcast, a loser. no one cares whether you lived or died, but choso didn’t see you that way. when you were introduced to geto, your first reaction was to hide behind the man you knew would protect you, but instead of mockery, geto extended a gentle hand. he understood what it was like to hate humans the way they seemed to hate you for existing. you met other ‘friends’ like mahito, who you got a long with quite well. it helped take the edge off of everyday life, giving you something warm to come to at the end.

but nothing made you feel more wonderful than running into your big brothers arms, feeling his big, calloused hands hold the small of your back. nothing made you feel as good as you did when you were under him, naked chest pressed against his own.

“chosh-shoo!” you moaned into his mouth, his tongue swirling around yours as spit covered your chin and neck. he wouldn’t ever say it out loud, but he loved when you got sloppy with him. his dick twitched seeing the snot and drool dripping down the sides of your face.

“your big brother loves you, baby,” he mumbled into your mouth. he really did love you. you squeeze your eyes shut, feeling his thick cock slip in and out of your cunt, your thighs wet and sticky. “makin me feel s’good, god i love you,” his groans were soft and quiet. you wrapped your arms tighter around his neck, tugging at his hair. he let out a whine at the feeling of you pulling him closer. he loved his needy little sister so much.

“fuck, sissy… i’m gonna cum soon,” choso groaned loudly in your ear before sitting up to get a good look at you. his abs flexed and his breathing heavy as he plowed into you like an animal. slowly, he reached his hand up to your throat, something he’s never done before. you didn’t think much of it though, back arching as he squeezed, but little did you know, choso felt something strange. it felt oddly good to choke you, feeling your soft throat mold at his finger tips. it made him feel powerful that you were at his mercy so easily. his baby sister… so helpless in his arms.

he squeezed harder and then harder until your eyes flew open, and something sparked within him that he didn’t know existed. that scared look in your eyes. he really was your whole world and he didn’t want anything to change that… but him. it would be the ultimate ‘i love you to death’.

with another harsh squeeze your hands flew up to grab at his wrist. you knew choso could have small outbursts, usually when mahito groped you, but you never expected him to have one during sex. usually he was so intimate and loving, but this felt more than just possession. it felt like anger. and angry he was. he was angry at the thought of someone else making you feel so good. at the thought of you giving up on him. but he was also oh so happy at the fact that he was about to change everything. god, he wanted this moment to last forever, and in a way it was your forever.

he really didn’t mean to choke you that hard. didn’t even notice your face turning blue till your hands went limp at your sides, tits still bouncing from the force he was fucking you with. he’s seen you pass out before, but never like this. just…. it wasn’t enough. it felt so good knowing your last moments would be with him. your last breath would be your chokes and mumbles of his name telling him to ‘shtop… pleash!’ that alone was enough for him to keep fucking your pussy, feeling your walls squeezing him tighter than ever.

eventually he feels a crack and looks down at your limp head dangling off to the side. you were still so pretty even in death, he thought as he pounded away. he was so, so close. much closer than before. he let go of your neck to grab both hips as he slammed his cock into you one last time before cumming. he had never came harder in his life than in that moment. choso swears his heart nearly lept out of his chest at the mere sight of your lifeless body being pumped full of his seed. you were truley the best thing that had ever happened to him.

choso looks up at the ceiling, sweat gliding down his pale skin. he could still feel your warmth around his cock as he slowly pulled it out. he knew he’s never get to be with you again, never get to se your pretty smile. there was no one else like you. moments before you were moaning on his cock and the next you were permanently unmoving.

it made his heart ache knowing you were stripped from life all from him getting caught up in the moment, but he also knew that you died at his hands, and in a twisted way that made him happier knowing that you were still his even in death.

#choso smut #choso x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #tw.dark content #tw.incest

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totalswag · 7 months

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date night — RAFE CAMERON

authors note thank you so much for the love on my recent fic AND for almost 300 followers!!! it doesn’t matter if you guys leave a comment or not, seeing you guys interact by liking and rebloging makes me happy. i’ve seen a few writers write something like this concept before too.

requests are open

summary rafe takes you out every first friday of each month. this friday in particular, he takes you to one of your favorite restaurants in town then some ice cream for dessert.

warnings kissing, food, ice cream, and soft!rafe

You were finishing up your makeup then changed into your outfit for the night with your boyfriend, Rafe Cameron. You already curled your hair prior to doing your makeup because you rather get that over with first than makeup first.

The first Friday of every month, Rafe likes to take you out to dinner or anything else that comes to mind. Tonight however, he’s taking you to one of your favorite Italian restaurants. It's a fancy restaurant so you have to dress somewhat nice.

You don’t know where you found Rafe but you are glad that you have him because you don’t know what your life would be like without him in your life. He was the one who started this little tradition when you first started dating. At first you thought it was a one time thing but it began to happen more often.

I’ll pick you up at 8pm angel.

The time read seven thirty five which gives you sometime to get changed and walk downstairs to the front door.

After getting changed, you headed downstairs where your family sat on the couch in the living room watching a movie. Your younger sister, who’s just turned four, gasps when she sees you enter the living room, and runs over to you.

“You look so pretty sissy” she giggles, putting both hands together, swinging them back and forth.

You crouch down, “you are too sweet for this world” placing a soft kiss to her cheek.

She giggles, wrapping her arms around your neck, hugging you.

The sound of Rafe’s truck pulls up to your house. You tell your family and little sister goodbye and you’ll see them later whenever you get back.

Rafe stood by the passenger side of the car as you walked out the door and around the corner, holding a bouquet of flowers. Your body was filled with a warm sensation. That man never fails to make you smile.

“Everytime you give me flowers it makes me feel like its our first date all over again” you state while smiling.

The smell of Rafe’s cologne fills your lungs. The scent he’s wearing is your favorite too.

You take the flowers from your boyfriend's hand, bringing them to your nose, they smell beautiful. You whisper thank you, stepping on your tippy toes to kiss his lips.

“Why do you always smell so good?” you groan, “makes me wanna do things to you” you add, wrapping your pointer finger around his gold chain.

He chuckles, placing his hands at your lower back, pulling you closer, “mhm maybe you can do those things later tonight” smirking.

“We better hurry up, we have reservations at eight thirty princess.”

This man makes me go insane.

He opens the door for you. He held your right hand while you lifted yourself into the truck. The truck is lifted, not too crazy.

You wait until Rafe is settled in the truck, then you start the engine and connect your phone to the bluetooth to play Lana Del Rey.

One thing about you is that you love Lana Del Rey. You fell in love with her as soon as you heard her songs. You usually mention Rafe is written about Lana whenever you see him, which is all the time.

West Coast.

When the music begins to play, you both make eye contact. He gently rubs your left thigh with his right hand, sending goosebumps down your spine. You squeeze your palm on top of his while you sing along.

The number of people at the restaurant was outrageous. You were glad Rafe made reservations rather than just strolling in and waiting for an hour or however long it would take to be seated.

Rafe held onto your hand as you two walked to the front where the hostess was standing.

Italian music is playing all over the restaurant. The whole restaurant is made to look and feel like you are in Italy. A smile creeps up your face when you walk inside.

“Hello, I have a reservation for two under the name Rafe Cameron at eight thirty” he smiles to the young man behind the booth.

The young man nods then types in Rafe’s name.

“Right this way Cameron” he smiles, grabbing two menus, then leading you to your table.

Your waitress for the night comes to the table to introduce herself and asks if you two want anything to drink– you get two waters and wine to start off.

Rafe and you begin scanning the menu when you get seated. You go back and forth with each other about what sounds good. You end up going with pasta instead because the one you usually get fills you up.

“I might get the same thing but I'm still gonna look just in case I find something different” Rafe answers your question about what he’s thinking of eating.

In the meantime, Rafe and you were talking about Cameron Development and what it was like working for the family business. Rafe has been working for his father for six months. It's been hard, but he's trying to build a life for himself and the two of you one day so you can have your own place one day.

Thirty minutes later, your waitress brought Rafe’s and your food.

The minute you got your food your mouth was already drooling by the food sitting in front of you just waiting to be eaten.

You took your phone out of your purse and took a picture of the food and Rafe setting his wine glass down before picking up his fork. Rafe's toothy smile comes instantaneously as he hears the clicking sound from your phone.

“You have to take a picture of everything, huh?” He jokes, shaking his head.

“If the pictures involve you in it, I’m definitely taking it” You reply, tilting your head to the side, winking.

After dinner, Rafe and you walked over to an ice cream shop. Where the restaurant is located, there’s a shopping center with food and desert.

The inside was filled with people ordering and sitting inside.

Whenever you get ice cream together, you always get mint chocolatechip in a cone and Rafe always gets lumberjack in a cup. There was enough sitting outside for the both of you.

The night sky looked beautiful– stars filled the sky, the moon shining bright as always, the sound of crickets coming from every direction.

“Thank you for tonight baby, I love you so much!” Whispering in Rafe’s ear before kissing his lips softly.

“Anything for my girl” he smiles down, wrapping his free hand around your lower waist, pulling you closer to his body.

my taglist

@runningfrom2am @winterrrnight @brooklynscherry-z @kaydsr3venge @johannelis2302nely

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creepling · 8 months

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that boy is a monster - j. slaughter / 2.6k

in contribution with THE HAUNTED HOEDOWN

prompts: sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)

summary: everyone comes and goes from the slaughter residence, either as survivors or stacks of meat. but as you escape and run further into the woods, johnny won't let you go that easy.

tags: DEAD DOVE - read at your own risk. smut. MINORS DNI. fem!reader. non-con. hunter/prey. knife/blood-play. descriptive injury. narcissistic johnny. fem penetration. blood hunger. choking. roughplay. slapping. kidnapped ending.

It would help to know the surroundings. Sprint the track to get to the finish line. But you’re bleeding. Your legs ache, and the tree branches are tearing at your skin. The calls of the Slaughter family echo in the distance.

Running for your life is supposed to be the escape. You’re out of the house, but your heroic end is not at a close. You have to keep running. You have to survive. And one person, in particular, will not give you up so easily.

“You’re the reason this is happening. You brought them damn kids here. You go get ‘er!” Drayton told off Johnny, waving his bloody stick towards the exit you stumbled out of.

Johnny was cool in his stance. He is cleaning his knife, sharpening its blade. He admires the glint of it in the moonlight, a sly smirk winking back at him in its reflection.

“Keep yer panties on, old man. I’ll get her,” He brushes off the Cook, swaggering towards the gate.

With his family seeing him off, Nubbie chuckles and cheers him on. Sissy claps and howls. “Bring her back fresh now, ye hear!”

Johnny was not going to share. He wants to play with his food and keep you all to himself. Once he finds you, you’re going to scream. He will have your insides, grip your flesh and suck your blood. His family will not have a nip of you. You’re all his.

The beginning of the hunt sent Johnny’s instincts into overdrive. Your shadow mystifies into the forest, and he picks up the pace to dive into the belly of the beast. He grunts as he sprints, inhaling the air. He was only human, but everything in his attitude was animalistic. A coyote in a man’s body, wanting to catch your scent, embarks on the trail you left behind and chases you until your soft flesh is between his teeth.

Deep within the sun-dried trees, Johnny halts his speed and listens to the silence. He peered his hearing for the snap of a twig, the ruffle of a leaf, anything to assume you were close by. He crouches to the earth and calculates the ground. His eye caught an indent, your shoe print heavy in the dry dirt, the heel dragged out, exposing your struggle. Johnny was mesmerised for a moment, then he advanced, tailing the track of your footprints to the direction of your hiding spot. He arrives at a dead end, cursing under his breath. He catches a look above, checking the trees, but both the trees and you are too fragile to hold weight. His eyes scan the horizon, wondering how far you have gone.

“I’m gonna find ya soon enough, sweetheart. Why don’t you come out, and we can get this over with?” Johnny called into the night, his skin tingling at the thought of you nearby.

He was closer than you thought. Tugged low in the dip of the earth, you bite the inside of your cheeks and muffle any sound of panic that threatens to burst. You may be bleeding, tired, and traumatised, but you will not give up. If he wants you to meet the same faint as your friends, he will have to come and get you.

At the deafening silence, Johnny sighs. It was long and drawn, but it soon shifted into a chuckle, and he gripped the handle of his knife tighter. “Fine, I like the challenge.”

Johnny advances, his footsteps descending to whisper when you decide to leave your hiding spot. You drag your limping body in the opposite direction, clenching your side as a cramp takes over. You look around with alert eyes, hoping to find an opening or another hiding spot if he is close. Your hope dwindles at the same scenery repeating: trees, branches, dirt. Over and over. No sounds alert you, making your eyelids droop and blur your vision. You look down at your body, your clothes drenched in blood, giving sense to your lightheadedness. The blood loss and dehydration were slowly creeping up and taking over you. Legs wobbling, making you fall.

“Come on,” You whispered, “You can do this.”

Johnny had his eyes on you. He watches you struggle, crouching within the dry branches. Your pain and fatigue amuse him, reassuring him that mortality can be handy for this line of passion. He loved a prey’s fear, how it ignites them with the endurance to keep living. Yet, the thing that is chasing them will always catch them. It can only get them so far. It lets them die with a fight still in them. People call that honour, but to Johnny, it is the thrill of the game.

It has been long enough. Johnny watches you collapse, grunting at the pain taking over, your knees buckling as you try to crawl your way further. Johnny cracks his neck and readies his blade, his heavy steps approaching you.

“I gotta hand it to ya. You got some fight in ya,” Johnny mused, towering over your struggling state.

The widening of your eyes made Johnny chuckle, tuts leaving his mouth as you began to sob.

“Come on now, I ain’t gonna kill ya. Not yet, anyway,” Johnny grips the back of your hair, yanking your head from the ground and crouching down on top of you. His legs saddle your sides, squeezing in to hold you in place. You catch the glint of his knife hovering over your throat, threatening to slice if you struggle.

“Ma mama always got at me for playing with my food as a kid. I never grew out of it. Y’know why?” Johnny presses his lips to your ear. You could now hear the husk in his voice.

“Because I fuckin’ love it,”

Your hands grip the earth, and a scream bellows from your strained throat, sirening through the trees, making birds take flight. Johnny shoves your head to the ground to silence you, pressing his blade tighter to the skin of your throat.

“You shout one more time, and I’ll cut you,” He spat, causing you to dwindle your struggle into small whimpers.

“Just kill me, please,” You plead, Johnny on top of you, detecting that you would rather be dead than be at his mercy.

Johnny enjoys having the upper hand far too much, grazing his gloved hand down your spine, lingering on the skin exposed from your summer blouse. He glances at the cuts littering your exposed arms, blood dripping from a knick on your shoulder. Johnny licks his lips in anticipation, locking his lips on your wound. You gasp, cringing at the suction from his mouth, his tongue swirling around the cut and soaking his mouth with your blood.

As if energy surged through him, Johnny groans at your taste, licking his lips dry. Your taste is sweetly metallic. He has never tasted something so pure—the blood of a lamb or a calf, laced with innocence and avoidant of bitterness. Johnny’s eyes wander down at you like the discovery of the Holy Grail. “You taste amazing.”

Johnny grips your arm and manhandles you to lie on your back, your arms feeble in your struggle. Johnny scans your body for more wounds, grunting in annoyance as most were muddy grazes. His legs add pressure to your sides, his hand nipping at the hem of your blouse.

“Keep still,” Johnny orders sternly, moving his knife to your shirt and cutting the thin fabric with the blade. You whine in defiance, but your top is torn off completely and tossed to one side. Johnny stares at the curvature of your bra, tucking his knife under the band and slicing it swiftly. Your breasts graze with goosebumps at your exposure. You squeeze your eyes shut from the humility. Johnny runs his knife down your left breast, the blunt end teasing your hardening nipple.

“You are a sight for sore eyes,” He breathes out, removing his glove with the pinch of his teeth. His bare, rough hand grips your breast, making you squirm. You glance up at Johnny, the maddening of his eyes, the flex of his muscles as he holds you in place. Sweat glistens on his face. You feel warmth between your legs as Johnny’s bulge presses against your stomach.

Without warning, Johnny slices a small incision on your soft breast, making you gasp from the shot of pain. Johnny immediately locks his lips on the fresh slice, his tongue collecting your new blood, letting a groan vibrate against you. He sucks your breast as he would with your nipple, except his infatuation is solely on your blood. Your fingers lace through his hair, and you attempt to yank him away, but he points his blade quickly to your throat.

“Move your hand, or I’ll cut you open,” Johnny threatens, pressing the blade hard, alerting panic within you.

“I can’t- I can’t do this, please,” You beg, “I want to go home,”

“Is this not want you want, darlin’?” Johnny teased, “Your cunt says otherwise.”

His head motions down and between your legs, sliding his fingers along the denim fabric of your shorts. Your throat hitches, and your legs tense, locking eyes with the darkening stare from Johnny.

“You want this, I know you want this,” Johnny mutters against his lips, “Let me make you feel good. I need this, darlin’, you gotta give yourself to me.”

His lips lock roughly with yours, his kiss hard - possibly laced with a lingering passion. You taste your blood on his tongue. You moan unexpectedly.

“See? You taste so good. Let me taste you more,” Johnny said as if he were asking, but you know you have no choice.

The sound of panic bubbles in your throat as you feel Johnny’s hands unbutton your shorts, yelping as he tugs the tight fabric down your legs. He crawls his fingers under your pants, catching your slick cunt with the tip of his fingers, collecting your wetness. Johnny groans, reaching his fingers to his lips and licking your juices. Just as sweet as your blood, warm and intoxicating.

Johnny grinds his hips down onto you before unbuckling his jeans, tossing his belt to your eye level. Your eyes trail to the sky, your mind dissociating at the sound of his jeans undone. Johnny preys your legs wider apart with his thighs, the tip of his cock at your entrance.

“You’re so wet for me, darlin’. Still sure you don’t want this?” Johnny’s pride swells at your defeat, pupils dilated at the sight of yours glazed and lost.

“I would rather be dead,” You said airily, almost inaudible. Johnny narrows his eyes, power swelling in his muscles. He wants you to beg for his cock or mercy; it does not matter.

Without warning, Johnny thrusts his cock inside, and pain shoots up your spine. He was big, more significant than you have ever taken, and he was stretching you out. You squeeze your eyes shut, and the tears trapped in your waterline pour down your cheeks. You silence the yelps filled with pain to adjust to the horrible feeling. But your cunt was wet, wet enough for Johnny to thrust deeper inside you and hold his length firmly inside you.

“Fuuuck,” Johnny groaned. Your walls clenched around his cock, and his hands grip the sides of your waist. “Sucha tight little pussy,” Johnny chuckled.

You shift your body back and forth to adjust to the pain, but it paralysed you, and Johnny drilled you deeper into the ground with the weight of his body. The cool earth stings your wounds and gathers in the grooves of your skin. It is disgusting. It is revolting. You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. “Fuck you,” You spit at Johnny, manifesting your cunt to grow teeth and bite his cock clean.

Johnny furrowed his brows at your revolt, burning a glare to your core. “The fuck you say to me?” Johnny smacked your face, stunning you, but you force eye contact.

“I said fuck you, you fucking-“ Your rage stopped short at the shuddering pain shooting through you. Johnny digs his knife into your side, toying with an open wound. You squirm, scream, try to pry him off you, but his other hand pins your wrists above your head, and his cock is stuffed deeper inside you.

“You really think talking to me like that is a good idea?” Johnny scoffs, watching the pain in your expression with perverted fascination. “Such a stupid ‘lil brat. I need to teach you a lesson.”

The pain melted into numbness. Your eyes drift further away from reality, and Johnny amps his stamina. It seemed neverending, his cock pumping into your cunt, the depth of his thrusts consistent. Johnny’s body towers over you, his knife tossed to the side. It proved useless as your body grew limp, the strength of Johnny’s arms pinning you in place enough to restrict your escape. No more were you retaliating to Johnny’s dominance.

“That’s it, good girl. Take it,” Johnny grunted, but he was not satisfied with your reaction. Lying there as you get fucked dumb, staring into space. He needs you to be compliant, to be grateful. Johnny tugs your hair and forces your gaze onto him, bathing in your bewildered stare.

“C’mon girl, I know you want this. Say how much you want it,” Johnny demands, continuing to rut into your pulsing cunt.

“I-” It was hard to string words together, but you had nowhere to look except deep in Johnny’s hunter eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“Say it, fucking say it,” Johnny grew impatient, smacking his fingers over your cheeks, hoping that knocked sense into you.

“I want you, Johnny,” You sobbed, mesmerised by his insanity.

“Yeah, you fucking do. Start thanking me for fucking you so good,” Johnny enfolds his cock deep inside, holding it in place until you speak what he wants to hear.

“Thank you,” You swallow the lump in your throat, “You’re so good at fucking me. I want you to keep fucking me.”

Swelling with pride, Johnny exhales a deep groan and continues to drill into you, picking up the pace. He felt his climax ascending from his core, gazing at the bounce of your tits, your plump skin covered in the blood he poured from you. He bites the inside of his cheek.

“I’m so close, darlin’. Fuuuck,” Johnny wraps his callous hand around your throat, suppressing your air flow until you see stars.

Johnny rutted his cock to ride his high. You feel the strips of warmth melt from your slit as he pulls out, his pants hot and misty against your neck. Your eyes trail over to Johnny, buckling his jeans and quickly putting on your underwear and shorts.

“Sorry about your blouse,” He mutters, removing his tank top and putting it on you. There is no point in convincing yourself he did it out of the kindness of his heart, as it is to carry you back to the place you tried to escape from and not make the rest of the family suspicious.

Johnny lifts you and tosses your body over his shoulder, your mind and body too exhausted and petrified to wiggle from his grasp. “Let’s take you back home,” He says.

Home. That place was not your home. But to Johnny, he is making it your home. There goes the days of elaborate escapes, deception and retribution. He will have you wrapped around his figure. He shall convince you that no one else cares for you. Only he will protect you, care for you, and love you.

Welcome to the family.

#johnny slaughter x reader #johnny sawyer x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #tcm game #johnny sawyer #johnny slaughter #creepling.brainrot #tw non-con #tcm fanfic #hauntedhoedown

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sluttysissyslave · 6 months

Text

For Sissies and Alike!

This is a very long post so bear with me, do with it what you wish, forget it if you want to, but maybe, just maybe consider it. So, let me tell you why and how you all became what you are today, and how to go forward. If you feel you relate to it then let it sit, if it doesn't, forget about it.

Most of you developed these feelings when you were alone and sad, your standards dropped lower and lower without you even realizing it, and next thing you know you're fantasizing about being a slut for women, or maybe even men. But what you forgot about, was that originally, you were just searching for female affection, the touch of that girl you really liked but were too afraid to go up to. You became so desperate for love, for some sort of connection that you started modifying things... "Maybe if I submit myself to a woman she will finally love me" you degraded yourself for love you didn't try hard enough to get. And now, behind a digital screen you've found what you call your little safe space, you don't feel like you're alone in this anymore, it's your coping mechanism. You seek validation in a place designed for men to be degraded, not validated. If you started cross-dressing when you were young. Ask yourself: did you get a lot of human connection? Did your parents pay attention to you? You realised that girls receive all the attention, the love you so desperately wanted that no-one gave you when you were young. So you subconsciously realised the being a girl could get you that. When you wore the girly clothes and finally felt warm, and embraced, you just manifested that for yourself over time and when it happened you actually believed it, which is only natural, that's what manifestation does. Your mind tricked you into believing that you found what you were looking for.

So, we've established that doing sexually feminine things is because submissive thoughts in a gay way is because you crave the love and affection you've been missing in your life.

Some people call this mental illness, I think that's disrespectful and inaccurate, I say these traits are mental coping mechanisms, and you know what? They feel good, they feel great in fact, but they aren't what you were meant to be, you find solace and comfort in those rushes of endorphins and other feel-good chemicals. But let me remind you, this isn't a long-term solution, you will realize this as time goes on, so you'll go even more extreme to cope, to get an even bigger rush. You need to reconsider, the withdrawal will feel terrible, but the way you are currently going won't get you to the desires you were always meant to have, not the ones you might think you're currently suppressing.

Brainwashing:

Arguably you are truly the victims, but no-one is coming to save you but yourself. You will always be tested, from all sides, it's up to you whether you give in or not. Be strong, don't give in, stand your ground. Trust that there's always a better way, a better option, one that's more rewarding than the path you're on now.

So why are you the victims? Well in modern western society it is being slowly programmed into people from a very young age, as soon as they can absorb information. Ideologies that men are worthless, good for nothing, and that women are superior. I don't want to go into the details of why this is the case because then you'll be reading this until tomorrow, but trust me that it's the case, and let me prove it with an adequate example. Most submissive men (and all woke and other LGBT people are all located in the "rich" west), almost none in eastern and conservative countries. Why is that? They don't have exposure to these things from a young age, it's not that sissies and alike don't exist there, they aren't created. Also they are often poorer than you are, with lots of social security, peace and plentiful resources, people get lazy and weak, those people living in let's say, Moldova, have other things to worry about than putting on makeup and sticking a butt plug up their bum. They aren't suppressing any femininity (sexually), they never had any to begin with.

Let's talk about how you and your thoughts are being manipulated.

Origins in modern pop culture:

Tv shows - the man is always the idiot and the woman is always the smart, reasonable one. That wasn't always the case in civilized history, both men and women were smart and reasonable, their combined traits completed each other's and they could be a strong couple. Let's look at some examples… It starts with Friends - Joey, Chandler, are portrayed as a bit dumb, and the girls generally smarter. The Simpsons - Homer is an idiot, his wife is the real boss. Family Guy - Peter is an absolute idiot and Louis is the brains of the family, a voice of reason. And it's even in shows for little children, in Peppa pig The father is hardly a figure to look up to. The disrespect towards men has been going on for decades, and it really started, rather perhaps interestingly, after the fall of the Soviet Union, but I once again don't want to get into politics or else this post will never end. We are at a stage now where especially if you're white you are almost persecuted for it. You can't disagree when I say all people should be treated equally right? So why doesn't that apply to race. A fitting quote to go by for this would be: "Don't humiliate yourself before anyone, and don't haughty yourself over anyone"

I actually feel terrible for the genuine, kind, trans women who have done so much for themselves and still don't maybe feel good and satisfied. You've had to overcome a lot in pursuit of happiness, and whether you made you right or wrong choice is now irrelevant. Try to live your best life with what you have, and don't look back, it's too late for that anyway, it would only make things worse now. Look towards the future and never look back, do things which make YOU happy, and not someone else.

For dominant women: Don't see this as a threat, there will always be guys who are more submissive, everyone is definitely and spread out all across the scale, you'll find who you're looking for, only men with with low self-esteem want a weak-minded woman who they can control in all aspects of life. Most men like a strong-minded woman, I also want a strong woman. But don't confuse this for sexual submissiveness/dominance, those aren't the same thing. Feminine doesn't mean weak!

General statement: The world is all butterflies and fairy tales now, enjoy it while you can, it will get worse, wars are coming, political and ideological changes are going to happen and if you are unprepared then, I have news, it won't end well. You are living in a digital jail right now, you are getting affected/manipulated, but at the end of the day you are the one who holds your own phone or opens your computer. Give yourself the power to control yourself, and free yourself of this jail.

IDEAS AND SOLUTIONS

Become the type man you'd want to serve: Often I see people with slight or fully gay fantasies about men, or being outperformed by certain men (women want them and not you. Become that man. It's going to be hard, in fact it's going to be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, and it won't even come close. Try it, a person should be adventurous in life so why wouldn't you like to feel what it's like being that person? And the best part is, if you don't like it, you can go back to what you were before and say that you've tried it all and found what you really are, but you can't say that without actually experiencing it, not even a discussion. It'll be a process for a minimum of 1-2 years, and will require discipline and self-control, hey that's similar to serving and/or being locked in chastity, both of those require discipline and self-control too. You can do it.

Find yourself: People love talking about finding themselves, I read it here every now and again, "I found my true self here". You cannot find yourself behind a digital screen, you will find yourself by putting yourself in difficult situations, the easiest way to do that is by going into nature. Take a large backpack with only your essentials and survive in the forest for a week. If that's too much, then just go out in the morning, spend the night and come back, walking through terrain and getting to some destination. Maybe you live in a cold climate, in winter go out into the snow and walk around the forests all day. Remember to bring an emergency phone if going to places you don't know too well.

Estrogen vs Testosterone: Estrogen makes you girly, and Testosterone manly, we know that right? To increase your estrogen naturally you can drink soy product, live an unhealthy lifestyle, and mentally stimulate yourself. You cannot produce as much estrogen naturally as a woman does, you'd have to take supplements. A healthy lifestyle in women increases their estrogen, and a healthy lifestyle in men increases their testosterone. You can increase your testosterone by exercising, eating meat (protein), onion, dark chocolate, a Mediterranean diet is pretty good, and of course getting high quality sleep, (here I am at 3am writing this post - hypocrite, I'm ashamed and I'll work on it).

Reward yourself. When you achieved a goal to becoming your new masculine life, treat yourself to something fulfilling. Whether it's some sort of food or an experience. We all need positive affirmations. You can reflect on what you've done well and what you've done poorly. Like me who wanted to s few important things and instead procrastinated for 3 days, hence, no reward, but as double self motivation I'll do a super big reward after putting myself together and getting all I wanted done (this post was no. 5 priority).

Belief. Believe in yourself that you can do it, your mind is extremely powerful, you give it less credit than it deserves, if you channel it the right way then it was serve you as a great tool.

Energy. Energy is another real, powerful, but invisible thing. Have you ever entered a historical religious place of worship? Like an ancient church in Europe or a mosque in the old Ottoman Empire like Turkey or even spain, a Buddhist or Hindu temple in Asia… they all have energy which you can feel, you absorb things differently with various energies. Or maybe more relatable, you're having fun at an outgoing fun party, you feel good right, smiling and enjoying life. That's positive energy. If you put yourself in environments with the type of energy you are currently looking for, it will help, a lot. I don't mean to say you should be religious or anything, but there's nothing wrong if you are or want to, it gives you hope and a sense of safety and security in its own ways.

Stand up for yourself. Have some morals and beliefs which you like and stand by. Don't be afraid to defend them in an argument.

This is my first authentic post on this website and I was very hesitant to make it, after all no-one might even read what I spent so much time on, but if at least one person is somehow positively influenced then it was worth it. I know that I will probably be reported by someone simply because they didn't agree with what I wrote, and my account will be taken down. If you don't agree with the things I said then ignore them, I made this for people who can resonate with something I wrote (not at all necessarily all of it), people who don't even know why they like the things they like, know it's not what they always wanted but find pleasure in it now. Hence please reblog if you like what you read, it won't be here forever.

If you are unsure or want to discuss anything feel free to DM.

If you want to do some research yourself, start with researching "Subliminal perception". It's absolutely everywhere and affects everyone, like it or not.

I might start positive things with a little political subcontext explaining my points further.

#locked in caged #sissy and slave #permanent sissy #sissy fendom #faggot sissy #humiliated sissy #feminine sissy #submisive sissy #beta sissy #locked and denied

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intimacyequalsdeath · 7 months

Text

Bubz's Slasher Fictober Day 10: Johnny Slaughter. (Pumpkin Spice)

Double digit days baby! Not much to say at the start of this other then my broken record speech so I hope you enjoy! <3

Notes: Minors DNI, Smut, Nsfw, No pronouns or descriptions of reader used, Only "you". Johnny would totally call you "Bunny".

I've only had it for maybe two weeks and I already play this game too goddamn much.

You had done it now, you had really fucking done it this time. You knew Johnny was going to be mad when he caught up to you, and by god you knew he was going to catch up with you.

The family had brought in a group of college kids, pretty routine shit, except this time you had be in charge of tying them down in the basement. Something or another happened and they ended up escaping.

Now Bubba had been able to round them up along with Sissy and Nubbins before they escaped the house. But you knew when Johnny caught wind of your lack to tie them down properly, you were done for.

So because you apparently loved to make matters worse for yourself, as soon as you heard Johnny enter the house and the door slam behind him, you made a run for it.

Once a would be victim of the family yourself who had countless escape attempts, you knew the Sawyer land like the back of your hand so you took off into the thick sunflower fields behind the house heading towards the slaughterhouse.

You could hear the heavy footfalls of the Sawyer that had both saved your life and declared that you were now his in front of the entire family. That was the only thing that had saved you from ending up like the rest of the group you had rolled in with.

Johnny was on you now, He grabbed the back of your shirt and brought you to the ground. His hand pressing the side of your head against the dirt as your ass ended up situated against the crotch of his pants.

"Well well well, What the fuck do we have here" Johnny spit at you, oh yeah he was totally mad.

"Johnny I'm sorry!" You yelled trying to smooth things over with him.

"The only thing I can't figure out is why you ran?" He said ignoring your apology.

"You know damn well I'm the best tracker and hunter in this family but you still fuckin ran, you KNEW I would find you but you still did it" He paused running the knife he always carried down the inside of your thigh you shivered at his action and he laughed.

"The more I think about it, the more I'm led to believe that this is exactly what you wanted. You wanted me to hunt you down, you wanted me to find you and give you a reminder of just who the fuck I am to you" The knife dug into your thigh and you could feel it slicing the fabric of your shorts.

Johnny removed the hand from your head to grip the fabric that used to be shorts and rip them off your bottom half. You knew well enough to not move your head from the dirt even if his hand wasn't there anymore. The dirt scratching against your cheek didn't even bother you anymore.

"So now darlin' I'm gonna show you exactly who the fuck I am to you"

All at once you were full, The one thing you had never quite gotten used to was the size of Johnny's cock. It stretched you and filled you more so then you had even been before. None of your old partners could ever hold a candle.

You blinked away the tears in your eyes has Johnny began to thrust, not even giving you time to adjust to his size before his hips starting snapping against yours.

"Bad bunnies don't get time to compose themselves" He had told you one time when he had bent you over the hood of his truck for mouthing on.

"Johnny" You kicked yourself when his name came out in no more then a whine.

"Shut the fuck up Bunny" His hand slammed into side of your head, holding it in place once more.

His thrusts sped up, each one filling you up and then as fast as you were full the fullness would disappear and you were left longing for it once more.

Johnny's finger gripped your hair, bringing your head up off the ground in his grip as he used this to get a better angle. He pushed himself deeper into you but his thrusts were still at the same speed.

The only noise besides screams coming out of you was his name. It reminded you of one of the cult chants Sissy had shown you when she returned the house from out west.

Your walls clenched as you came. Johnny didn't cum though, he never did the first time you came. So you knew you were in for the overstimulation of a lifetime.

Through your sensitivity, the thrusts continued. Every sweet spot inside you now even more sweet when Johnny's girth would brush up against it.

"Johnny please" You didn't realize you were crying until you spoke.

"Awe, what's wrong Bunny?, Is daddy too much for you?"

You swore you could feel each vein on his cock brush against a new part of you as it slipped into you. The thrusts were a lot smoother now that you had cum and lubed Johnny up. You could feel it dripping down in between the two of you making your thighs sticky.

Johnny gave a few grunts and let you know he was ready to give it to you.

"Johnny not insi-" You whined but it was too late.

The hot white ropes of his seed splashed into you, coating your insides with their warmness. You whined but reveled in the feeling.

"Sorry Bunny, Daddy doesn't cum anywhere but inside you know that." You nodded pathetically feeling like a scorned child.

He reached down between your legs and grabbed you where his cock had just been.

'because this is daddy's ain't that right?" Another nod.

"And if it's daddy's then that means daddy gets to cum in it no matter fuckin what" He growled into your ear as he leaned down pressing his chest into your back before gathering you in his arms and picking you up.

"Now that, that's over with you can go back to the house and get your punishment for runnin'" Your head snapped up to look him in the eye.

"B-but daddy wasn't that ?" You trailed off, He fixed you with a look.

"No bunny, fuckin' wasn't your punishment, fuckin you was just a reminder of who you belong to and who you should obey"

#slasher x reader #slasher fandom #johnny slaughter #texas chainsaw massacre #johnny sawyer #johnny sawyer x reader #johnny slaughter x reader #texas chainsaw massacre game #johnny tcm #johnny slaughter smut #Halloween #Fictober

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nickeverdeen · 4 months

Note

heya! can i request a HC for umbrella academy?

where five has a crush on reader but shes an airhead and doesnt figure it out, BUT, allison and viktor know so one day they catch five staring at reader and they point it out which leads to five getting embarrassed and looking away hella fast- idk where im going with this.... pretty much loverboy five with a crush on airhead reader 😭

thank u, stay hydrated!!

Hope you’ll like it! Please tell me if I wrote something wrong as I’m not really sure how an airheads usually act. Anyways I tried my best and I hope you’ll like it, love you 🫶💚

Five = blue text

Allison = pink text

Viktor = purple text

————————————————————

Five Hargreeves crushing on an airhead fem!reader

When Five first started interacting with you he started warming up towards you pretty quickly

You became friends or well… that’s what you considered him as he prefered to keep it as allies

Obviously that didn’t work

You on the other hand were just really glad that you got a friend

Despite his logical thinking, Five can’t help but be intrigued by your carefree and whimsical nature

It’s like small a mystery even he can’t solve

Five, being used to dealing with complex problems, is often baffled by the your scattered thoughts and blindness towards people who were trying to flirt with you

That is also one of the things he kidna also likes about you

It is pretty amusing to him

Five, in his own peculiar way, becomes protective of you

Yet you brush it off thinking it’s just him being protective towards you like towards his family

Being an airhead means that you also have an insight of some things

So when Five notices he starts to appreciate the unique perspective you bring to the team/family

Five, used to precision sometimes gets frustrated by the your forgetfulness and blindness

However, he can’t stay mad for long when you flash an innocent smile or do something adorably clumsy

Slowly Five secretly goes out of his way to make your life a bit easier

Like leaving helpful notes or subtly manipulating time to prevent minor mishaps

Five’s siblings were truly confused by his newfound interest, especially considering yours and his differences

Especially Allison and Viktor

They couldn’t put a finger on what he sees in the airhead considering he’s usually cold towards people like that but they were secretly amused by it

Klaus of course started teasing him about it

Five made sure not to snap at someome whenever you were around which made it better for Klaus

Despite the differences, there was a silent understanding between Five and you

Sometimes he even takes you to travel in time even if it would be only a few minutes

Mostly so he could hold your hand

He is much nicer towards you than towards others

Which leads Allison to talk to Viktor about this

A small speculations between the two siblings start

Seeing Five’s behaivor towards you made them believe that he may like you more than a friend

Viktor being Viktor had some doubts

Five stole a few glances at you during breakfeast when he was sitting across from you who is talking to Klaus

Your smile and carefree behaivor even in the morning is adorable

Viktor’s doubts are washed away when he and Allison catch Five staring at you

They decide to confort him about it silently so you wouldn’t notice

“You know if you’ll take a picture of her you can stare at it longer”

Five, caught off guard, quickly looks away, attempting to hide his embarrassment

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about”

Five, ever the stoic and composed one, quickly denies having any interest in the airhead

He brushes off their teasing, insisting that he was merely lost in thought

Allison since that day is the one teasing him about it while Viktor is the supportive one

He has been there with Sissy-

They make lighthearted jokes, causing Five to squirm uncomfortably as he continues to deny any romantic interest towards you

At which he fails terribly

Five, feeling the pressure, resorts to awkward deflections and changing the topic

To for example mission-related matters or starts analyzing some concepts, attempting to get rid of the attention from his personal life

The more you hang out with him the harder it is for him to hide his feelings

I mean you’re amazing

Despite his hiding, Five continues to steal glances at you, unable to completely hide his feelings

Of course Allison and Viktor exchange amused glances, silently acknowledging the obvious

It was driving Five crazy

Allison and Viktor, still determined to get Five to admit his crush, offer playful advice on expressing his feelings

They suggest subtle gestures or dropping hints, causing Five to groan in exasperation

“Come on Five, I’ve been there you just have to come clean”

“I am not in love with her!”

Despite the denial and embarrassment, there are moments when Five can’t help but smile when thinking about the airhead

Your smile, adorable behaivor, those eyes, that carefree and funny personality…

Shit, he has to confess before any other guy will do it

Five has Viktor’s and Allison’s support, he knows he’ll have to do it

Inside he feels like the 13 year old boy he looks like

Ready to confess his feelings towards you he fixes his tie and goes into the kitchen where you are…

————————————————————

✨And the rest is up to your imagination✨

#request #headcanons #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x you #five hargreeves tua #airheads #five hargreeves having crush

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