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#like @me: binch youre gonna end up doing it sooner or later!!! just get it out of the way!!!!
lousimusician · 5 years
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Sex Pollen Part 4 (Finale)
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Summary: The aftermath of your night with Peter
Warning: Talks about smut, language
A/N: I wanted to post this part sooner but y’know life happened. I also ended up rewriting this like three times and I’m still not that happy with it but hey it wraps up the series. Thank you so much for all the comments and messages I’ve been getting. The support has been insane, I got almost 1,000 new followers this past week. THANK YOU!!! (Again I will be working on requests now, and I will be still taking them)
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Tony Stark woke up with a groan, finding himself hunched over the lab table he had been working on all night.
He leaned back in his seat to stretch out his limbs. "F.R.I.D.A.Y what time is it." He muttered rubbing a hand down his face.
"7:46, sir." 
"And how's Peter doing?"
"He's perfectly fine Mr. Stark."
Tony sat up straight, now wide awake. "What do you mean by fine?"
"He seems to be better sir." F.R.I.D.A.Y responded.
"How?"
"...I don't know."
Tony looked over and spotted Bruce fast asleep. He jumped out of his seat and shook the man awake. "Banner." Bruce groaned. "Stop drooling on the equipment and get up, we have a situation."
Bruce jumped up, suddenly remembering what he had been doing before he fell asleep. "Oh god- We fell asleep, we need to check on-"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm way ahead of you, now get up."
Bruce nodded, scrambling to follow after Tony.
~~~~~~
Peter's eyes fluttered open, meeting the ceiling, an achiness washing over his body.
He was exhausted, more tired than he's ever been before.... but he was back to normal.
And at that thought, the events that had happened just last night hit him like a truck.
His hand shot out to his side, feeling if you were still there, but when he was met with the empty spot, he quickly sat up, looking around the room for any sign of you.
But you were gone. "Oh my God." Peter hissed. Not knowing what this meant between the two of you now. 
You had disappeared making it seem like everything that had happened was just a dream Peter conjured up in his lust filled mind. The only sign that you weren't just an imagination were the stinging scratches he could feel lining his back and shoulders. 
He stumbled out of the bed, almost falling down because of the bedsheets that were tangled in between his legs. He quickly walked towards the mirror, spotting his sweatpants on the way and pulling them on before he came face to face with his reflection.
He was a wreck. Hair sticking up in more than one direction, too many for it to just be considered bed head. His eyes were bloodshot since he only got a few hours of sleep, and his neck was covered in a few hickies. He turned to look at the damage on his back, seeing the bright red scratches that stretched from his shoulder blades to his lower back.
And they made him quite proud, for some reason.
"Damn (Y/N)," Peter breathed out, biting his lip, attempting to fight off the grin that was playing on them.
Peter was pulled from his thoughts when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. Spinning around on his heels he spotted you leaning against the doorway to the bathroom, wearing your tank top and shorts you came in with last night, hair dripping.
You smirked at him. "Someone's proud." You said after watching him check himself out in the mirror.
"I-I thought you left." He stuttered.
"I just finished taking a shower."
"Oh." He said awkwardly, not really knowing how to talk to you after everything. His eyes dragged down to your neck and chest, where he spotted hickies and bite marks that ranged from just under your jawline to the tops of your breasts. Peter swallowed nervously. "A-are you o-okay?"
You shrugged. "I guess. I'm kinda having trouble walking."
Peter's face turned red. "I-I'm sorry-"
"Peter I said to stop apologizing." You said as you started to walk towards the bed to sit down, a limp in your step that made Peter feel bad but also oddly proud again. "But what about you?" You asked. "How do you feel?"
"Oh y-yeah." He cleared his throat. "I'm all better... so uh- thanks for that." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
You grinned. "No problem." 
An awkward silence filled the air between you two, and Peter not having a filter filled it with, "So last night was pretty wild."
You snorted, "Smooth."
He smiled, shaking his head. "Sorry, you know I'm not good at this stuff."
"You could've fooled me, some of the stuff you said and did last night- I mean, you even choked me-"
"Okay!" He yelped, cutting you off. "I-I remember."
You giggled and layed down, stretching out your achy legs, unintentionally showing off the hickies that were littering your inner thighs, making him blush more. 
Peter wanted to ask what this meant, if this was more than you just trying to help. Because after everything you two did, he wasn't sure if he could handle just being your friend. 
"S-so." Peter started. "Ms. Romanoff said l-last night that you.. that you have a cru-"
Peter was suddenly cut off by three knocks coming from his bedroom door. "Peter it's me and Banner." You heard your dad say from the other side. You sat up, both you and Peter immediately tensing up, heads snapping to the door. "I'm coming in." 
You and Peter looked at each other in shock as your dad just barged into the room.
Tony stopped, hand still on the door knob, as he saw his daughter and Peter, the marks on each of your bodies letting him know what happened. Banner stood awkwardly behind Tony, not wanting to get in the middle of what was about to happen.
Your dad stood frozen in shock. He was speechless.
And Tony Stark was never left speechless.
You glanced at Peter, knowing he wasn't going to say anything, which left you.
"Okay." You said calmly. "Dad I know what your thinking-"
Tony's eyebrows shot up as he cut you off. "Do you now!?" He snapped, anger flaring. "Because right now I'm thinking about how my daughter blatantly disobeyed me and clearly has no faith in me-"
"Hey!" You yelled cutting him off now, "This has nothing to do with me having no faith in you-"
"No (Y/N), I'm speaking now." He said angrily. "We would've figured it out, this wasn't going to kill Peter. And now what if you get pregnant-"
"I'm not going to get pregnant-"
"Oh really? Condoms don't always work-"
"I'm on the pill!" You shouted in annoyance.
Tony's eyes widened. "You've been having sex?"
You sighed. "Oh please, like you hadn't been having sex at my age. But that is beside the point. The pollen may not have killed him but we don't know what it could've done. So I'm sorry for not listening to you, but I'm not sorry for helping Peter."
Tony shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Fine." He said reluctantly. "Fine... You have a point. But this is a lot for me to handle right now so... I'm gonna go..and clean up the lab." He said with a shake of his head, the situation clearly starting to give him a headache at the fact he wanted to be angry but deep down knew that you were probably the only person that could help Peter.
Tony turned around and headed out of the room, head swimming. Banner still stood there awkwardly.
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm really sorry for bringing that plant here. You have no idea how guilty I feel about that."
You smiled softly at Bruce and waved your hand. "Don't worry about it. Everything's back to normal now. Just don't bring anymore alien stuff back here." 
Bruce laughed gently, "I guess I'll go help your dad. I'll see you two later."
Both you and Peter said your goodbyes as Bruce shut the door behind him, before it was just the two of you again.
"That." Peter started. "Actually went a lot better than I thought it would."
"Yeah.. I'm a little shocked."
"I thought he would've killed me."
You shook your head, "Seriously Peter, no one blames you for anything that happened....Now what were you saying before?"
"Oh right." Peter blushed, taking a seat at the foot of the bed now. "Ms.Romanoff kinda said you had...a crush on me?" He phrased it as a question, not knowing if Nat had been telling the truth.
You bit your lip. "Did she now?" Peter nodded. You sighed. "I guess now's a better time than any to tell you..so yes. I do like you Peter Parker... a lot actually."
The joy that Peter felt after hearing you say that was indescribable, and it showed by the large smile that lit up his features.
"I like you a lot too." You smiled, moving to sit next to him at the end of the bed. "M-maybe we could go out s-sometime?" He asked awkwardly.
You laughed. "I let you fuck me in positions I didn't even know existed." You said, making him blush. "So yes, we can go out sometime." You finished, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
"We should probably wait for the hickies to fade first though."
"Yeah, probably." You giggled. "You know the others are never gonna let us live this down."
"Oh god, do you think they heard us?"
You raised a brow. "Peter we were screaming, sI think they heard us."
Peter laughed, "Well...you wanna hang out until the others figure out everything's fixed and start making fun of us.''
"Too late." You heard Sam's voice from the other side who, who had just been passing through with Bucky by his side. "Tell your dad to soundproof this goddamn room."
"Yeah," Bucky said. "And Thor says good job, by the way."
"Oh my god." You hissed in embarrassment. "Go away!" You yelled at them, hearing the two of them laugh while they walked away. 
"I think you were right when you said that we're never gonna live this down." Peter muttered.
"Stupid fucking plant."
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pearloftheorient · 4 years
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sorry to not be a fandom blog or roleplay blog for a moment. i just feel like i wanna express a bit of a heart-to-heart, just a quick rundown of whatever’s going on and how it all happened from my perspective. i mean i don’t even care if nobody reads this, but as someone who expresses a lot more in writing i feel like i should take this opportunity to help unload, you know?
so the lockdown definitely hit us here on friday the 13th in march, which didn’t feel as bad as it was. as a nurse i’ve had this weird concept that a lot of the common diseases that spread around can easily be blown up by social media (hold that thought for later lol) and i just you know, say you should just wash your hands, it’ll be okay. i mean i tend to take the logical route when it comes to health care?? because that’s what i studied and i feel like i owe it myself not to panic TOO MUCH. plus, my husband (an intellectual) also had the same attitude towards media being exaggerated, so like i’m copying his cool attitude as much as i can. i mean we even went to budapest just a week prior, watched a play, mingled with clusters and clusters of people..... and even though people already started wearing masks, i even make fun of them for wearing it wrong or just being quite excessive and wearing gloves in public (i still don’t like seeing gloves in public and if you’re a health care professional you might feel exactly the same way)....
and then they told me on that friday that all of the training days for the next three weeks that i have worked hard to set up, study for, book on rotas, juggled, invited speakers for (i’m a nurse-educator and i organise staff training as part of my job) are now to be stopped. my staff are now asking me about their learning opportunities, is the course gonna go on, and i feel a bit more responsible to give the correct information but i just don’t know where to get it??
then come monday, it was a whole different story again. since the non-clinical aspect of work has been indefinitely stopped, i am one of the people who had been expected to go back into the clinical area and handle patients (i mean i still do this despite my role, but i now have to do it more often). which was fine because handling patients is my happy place, i feel like it is within my remit, i know exactly what i’m doing most of the time, i have a smaller scale to tackle and that’s gonna ease my brain a bit while the world starts to fall into chaos. i’ve done this for the next few weeks. i did mostly clinical shifts, and just do some admin stuff like once a week?? just so i can keep up with the new developments and properly disseminate information, like what PPE are we gonna have, train people in wearing them, what we actually need to do if we get patients with COVID, crash courses for those who will be redeployed, cancelling and cancelling and cancelling study days and training days and finding multiple alternative ways so people still maintain standards despite not having the face-to-face training....
as a nurse-educator, i also feel like i should always watch the news and be aware of the latest guidelines, what WHO wanted us to do, how am i gonna apply this for my colleagues and the safety of our patients... so i’ve done that on a regular basis, and my brain is just filled with information and i actively help in setting up bedspaces with the initial instructions of what PPE to wear....
and then towards the end of march, people are dying. and the fact that it was building in numbers made it more real. and now i started to question what i already know, if we’re actually doing the right thing, but why do other countries do it differently?? why do other hospitals do it differently?? how come people are still on the street?? decisions from the government and the big execs just fluctuate and this trial and error approach just all of a sudden.....became the new normal. 
and then we’re all like, but we just have to work together - since all of our non-clinical stuff had been on standby then we can just focus on working clinically, doing patient care. and then i was given the instructions to gather nurses from my unit (we deal with neonates - babies - like i personally haven’t got a clue on how adults work anymore as i haven’t handled one for like 15 years) who can be redeployed based on their previous experience. redeployment sometimes is viewed as heroic, like wow you’re brave to work in adults despite your rusty experience just for the sake of helping with the pandemic, that’s Great. and then to some, it is their worst nightmare, being redeployed is like being fish out of water - going back to square one, not knowing exactly what you’re doing (remember how i was so confident doing clinical?? yeah that’s only for neonates). and then the solidarity feel like, yeah but at least you’re not alone? we gonna support you?? you’ll get all the special messages, a round of applause, because you’re doing something so brave. i wasn’t redeployed, but six of my colleagues are - and every time they talk to me about how stressful it was and how scared they were being uncertain all the time and surrounded by death and suffering, i felt responsible for putting them in that position.
and then i started to feel sadder and sadder. but i can’t stop working, i am physically well, i am strong enough and i am a Great addition to the numbers. besides, with all this redeployment, we are also receiving some temporary replacements who simply had no idea how neonates work! (it’s like a full exchange programme but with little training) and it is my responsibility to make sure they are trained (i mean look, we all did LONG ASS courses to reach where we are in terms of knowledge, months and months of clinical exposure to the area to gain experience, but now i’m asked to train all of them for just ONE DAY.) and so after training, i’m like this mother duck chasing all the ducklings making sure nobody goes astray. so that was the first two weeks of my april.
it’s also when i decided to stop watching the news or looking at social media about the virus because i have enough stress going on, and i don’t wanna like sound so depressed whenever i’m teaching this new people that are coming to us. i have to be open and warm and welcoming and maintain a cheery attitude despite my patience running so infinitesimally thin. i’ve always been known for my calmness and patience. i may be an anxious bean but i’m quite good in not letting it show in my handiwork.
so i know that’s been stressful - but the good things, i am definitely thankful for. people stepping up, working hard and together with less animosity. the free food was overflowing, i don’t even have to bring lunch at work anymore because there’s always something, even fresh produce because tbh everything hurt after a hard day’s work that you can’t even go grocery shopping :p we had this really posh resto that gave us free breakfast every single day and normally in this resto you like have to make reservations at least 6months before to be worthy lol. despite the back and forth decision making, we do have the right equipment to do our work, and with the virus not usually affecting the little ones, we are not heaving as much in terms of the amount of patients. and just the love, the supportive messages, the rainbow drawings, the applause - i mean just wow.
i guess the more i’m fueled to work harder. and the fact that i get to keep my job when a lot of people had been furloughed or lost theirs, i just feel i have to make it count and continue helping in ways i know how.
i have just trained the last two nurses to come (so far) when i got called that my husband got sent home because he got ill. and he is a nurse too, looking after adult patients with covid so he is getting far more exposure than me.
by protocol, i am automatically self-isolated because of him. and so for the last week of april, we are on a full lockdown, with him on a sickbed and me trying to “work from home”
i am working from home and my colleagues continue to ask me questions about work, i write guidelines, mark essays, basically all the admin stuff i’ve stopped doing because i have been pulled into clinical numbers. i constantly dreaded how my husband will be - knowing the scary stories about how the virus treated some people and the rising number of deaths, especially among frontliners. he was fine and got better, thankfully. and then i fell ill that very weekend - and i became a full dramatic binch for a week because my fever and muscle weakness definitely prevented me from doing anything productive. (this is when i binge-watched the untamed lol)
but then we both got tested and we’re both negative lol. whatever the fuck that was surely knocked us down but thankfully it wasn’t covid WHICH MEANS we should go back to work sooner rather than later. yay. we’ve been off for a total of 10 days.
and then i returned to work last week, and i felt so exhausted. apparently it was a common theme from those who had symptoms or had self-isolated (even though i am negative) and i just felt like those 10 days despite spending them mostly in bed, i felt like i ran a marathon that entire time and now i’m paying the price.
i still feel tired now after 4 days of work, and i haven’t even been clinical (they gave me the benefit of the doubt that it might be FALSE NEGATIVE) so i haven’t handled patients YET and instead focused on my admin work - which welcomed with its spiky arms fuck that shit we just had the most dramatic cases at work that i had to deal with, and that’s not even covid-related. and so my brain was also like scraped to the core lol
so anyway, yeah i guess that got long.
i mean i still haven’t talked about what’s happening in the background at this point, like my family (they are okay! thankfully. and my mom is very paranoid which means they are always taking care of themselves lol), the government in where i live and where my family lives (lotsa fucked up things happening right now out there too, dammit i’m so sorry philippines), and all my future plans for 2020 that have now been shitted on by this virus, but let’s not get overly dramatic now.
idk i just feel like pouring stuff out because apparently that’s healthy for you.
stay safe. wash your hands. stay at home if you can. frontliners - and i’m just not talking about my fellow nurses - TAKE CARE AND STAY STRONG. AND THANK YOU. but don’t be an extra hero. wear PPE when you come face-to-face with potential risks. take breaks. know where to draw the line.
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bluepenguinstories · 4 years
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Happiness Overload Chapter Forty-Six
I approached the door with hesitation. After all, it was the first time I've delivered a pizza before. But I thought it would be neat to try something new so when I spotted the pizza delivery guy park the car by the curb, I approached and asked if I could try delivering a pizza. So, that's that. Up some stairs above a convenience store (neat complex), right outside the apartment door.
Gee, I sure hope whoever ordered this pizza turns out to be nice. I've heard stories about how tough customer service could be.
Sure, those were my thoughts, but I already had a good idea who I would see.
Once the door opened, I stood face to face with someone I didn't expect to ever see again, even as I hoped I would.
“Blanc? Is that you? Didn't you die?”
“I thought you died!” Then I stopped and thought about it. “Oh! Right! Alternate universe!”
“Wait. What?”
“Yeah, I forgot. The Blanc of this world did die. But I'm not the Blanc you know! In fact,” I shuffled my feet. “I'm like a whole other person, and even then, I haven't been myself in a while!”
“No,” she shook her head and smiled. “No matter what form you take, you're still you.”
“Yeah! You're right!” I grinned.
Velvet rubbed her temples and looked frustrated. Poor thing. Time-travel and universe travel and all that jazz, it'd be enough to confuse anyone.
“Can you hold on just a sec?” She swiped the pizza box and went inside, closing the door behind her. While I waited, I decided to whistle a tune. Something about not worrying about a thing.
As I closed my eyes, I recalled all the things I saw on my travels.
Euphy, you've sure been hard at work.
Was I hallucinating? Did the steam from the shower get to my head?
Maybe it was a grief thing, and when I would come back outside, I would see some random stranger. It wasn't like I wanted them to be a stranger, I just didn't see how the alternative was possible.
“Here's your smelly pizza,” I set the box on the arm of the couch.
“What took so long?” Her voice sounded so zombie-like. “Trying to cheat them out of a tip or something?”
I shook my head. “No. I'll tell you in just a sec. I'm going to confirm something real quick.”
Butch looked up from her game. I could tell she was confused, too.
My eyes lit up when she emerged back out and closed the door behind her.
“So, you work pizza delivery?”
“Nah! I was just going on a walk and asked the delivery guy if I could give it a go!”
“I see.”
“Anyway, there's still so much I want to see while I still can, so, see ya!” I took a step toward the stairs, but then I looked back. “But it was really nice to see an old friend! It really made me happy!”
“Hey! Wait just a second!”
“Hm?” Didn't even make it one step down. Oh well. What was I planning on seeing, anyway? Wasn't like I made any sorta list.
“Is it really you? I mean, I know it can't be because I saw you die back in Area 51, but I'd like to believe it's you. I'm not used to someone I don't see for a while still being alive.”
“WHOA!” I couldn't contain my excitement. “This world's me went to Area 51? That's so cool! Aw, but I guess they're dead now, so I can't meet them.”
Velvet tilted her head. Oh golly-gee gosh! There's just no helping it, is there? Those kinds of things would always be just way too confusing for their own good.
I shook my head in response. “I'm sorry, Velvet. We were friends in my universe, too, but then you died. I ended up going through a bunch of crazy stuff, meeting some new people, and nearly dying a couple times in the process just to come back here in hopes that it would fix things.” My voice started to crack up. Guess even someone like me couldn't stay happy about everything. “Suffice to say, I'm not the one that you're familiar with. I've gone through so many changes, that I'm not even the same person I was a year ago.”
“H-How?”
I shrugged. “Time travel. I don't recommend it, by the way. It jumbles everything up.”
“So I'm just supposed to believe all this?”
Again, shrug time. “I mean, you could if you want. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.”
One step down the stair. However, I didn't break eye contact, and it looked like she was shaking. Even her face.
Oh my. This is what people call blubbering, isn't it?
“I told you, didn't I?” No. That wasn't the correct response, either? “I'm sorry, but I haven't been myself for a while now.”
Before I had a chance to figure something else to say to cheer her up, I was pushed back in an instant and had to act fast and hold on to the railing. Her arms were wrapped around me, squeezing tight, herself pressed against me in a hug.
“Even still...you're you,” her voice broke. It sounded like a whimper.
“Careful, sheesh. You almost knocked  me over. Then I would have fallen off these stairs and been dead for sure.”
“I missed you!”
“Oh, bother,” I tried to look away, or at least turn my head as best I could. “Do you have to squeeze so tight? Seriously, I forgot how strong you were.”
“Shut up.”
“Fine.” I leaned my head in and sighed. “This also makes me happy.”
We stayed like this for about a minute (was it a minute? I don't know. I didn't count. I could have, but I didn't think to. Now I regret not counting the seconds) before she broke away and wiped her face.
“What's with the pink streaks in your hair, by the way?”
“Oh!” I lit up again. What a fun subject that was! “Well, I was thinking of getting streaks in my hair and I couldn't decide between blonde or silver, so I went with pink.”
“I don't really see the connection.”
“You know Kirby?”
“Yeah, that funky lil dude.”
“Yeah! He's a real fat fuck! I got the idea from Kirby!”
“So...” she tilted her head in the direction of the door. “Y'wanna come in or should I say goodbye?”
“Sure! I didn't have anything planned, anyway!”
That Velvet, such an awesome lass! I'd be able to check out her new place! She could bring me back up to speed on everything in the world of Velvet.
She opened the door and announced. “Hey Butch! You'll never believe this! An old friend stopped by! And  they're alive!”
I poked my head in and saw someone on the couch look up, a displeased expression on their face. Short blue hair, small face...small all around, actually. Oh! I knew what those were called! They were pixies. Wait. No. That's not right. That was a human, and a girl. Oh! One of those raver chicks, probably! Or...
“Life sure is strange, hehe,” I commented.
“Yeah, you could say that again, Blanc.”
She, I think Velvet called her 'Birch', pointed in my direction. “Isn't that the person who you said you saw die in --”
“Yeah, it is. But they say they're from another dimension.”
Binch (look, the name would come to me sooner or later) gave a look like Velvet was crazy. Again, not like I could blame her.
“Well, Blanc? Aren't you gonna come in?” Velvet turned to ask me.
“Oh, right! That's a thing I do!” I spread one leg into the apartment and inched my way in. Then I scurried over next to the couch and sat on the floor. You could say I was curious about everything and wanted a good view.
“Ooh! Velvet! You have a girlfriend now! Congrats!”
She remained by the door. Her index finger on her cheek, making scratching motions. “Ehehe...about that...” Her gaze shifted from side to side. “I'm going to go get some snacks and something for dinner! Feel free to get to know each other.”
With that, she waved, then left.
That was when the fun would begin.
Why couldn't I just have a normal day?
Yeah, I already knew I didn't live in a normal world, but come on! Why did Velvet have to pick up some random person and bring them in here? Was this all a part of her “plan” or was she just trying to get to me?
I knew I wouldn't figure it out just by complaining, so I studied the creature that was looking up at me, all googly eyed.
“So I heard your name was Bunch!” They said.
“It's Butch.”
“Bush?”
“Fuck you. I said Butch!”
“Ah, I see, I see.”
They got up and I scanned their movements. Eventually, it seemed like I lost them, but then they came back into view, carrying a stool.
“Since when do we have a stool?”
“Beats me! I just found it here!”
“Grr...this place is a mess, anyway.”
They...Blanc. I could get a name right. It wasn't that hard. Blanc set down the stool in front of the couch, then swayed to and fro, smiling and tapping their legs.
“What is your deal?” I continued to study the creature.
“I just think it's fun to meet new people!”
I squinted my eyes. I could tell something was off. I just couldn't tell what.
“VELVET! GET BACK HERE! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS THING!”
“I don't think she can hear you,” they pointed out.
“This must be one of her practical jokes, I'm sure of it.”
“You would not believe your eyes, if ten million butterflies,” they sang.
“What is your deal? And it's 'Fireflies'.”
“Yeah, but where I come from, it's 'Butterflies'.”
“Look here!” I pointed. “You may fool Velvet, but you don't fool me.”
“I'm not actually trying to fool anyone. I'm sure you're plenty smart.”
I growled. This...I couldn't say kid. They were clearly in their 20s, at least. They were really getting to be a nuisance fast.
“You can't just waltz in and claim to be Velvet's dead friend from another universe and expect a warm welcome. I'm betting you're not who you say you are. Something's fishy.”
The pointed to the pizza box. “I think it's your pizza. Anchovy?”
I opened the box and took a bite of one of the slices. Then, food in my mouth, I continued my interrogation.
“Let's say I believe you. How did you get here, then?”
“Ah! Coincidence! But also, a bit of time travel.”
“Time travel, eh? I'm not saying that's absurd, because I know the technology is out there, but the only ones with access to such technology is The Flashbulb.”
“Ah! So you know about them, too! Yeah, I took one of their thingies. Long story, really.”
My game's battery was going to drain the longer I ignored it, but I just had to get to the bottom of this. Before I could raise my next question, Blanc opened their mouth once more.
“I know how it must seem, but it's also crazy to me, since the Velvet in my universe died. Still, we were friends there, too!”
“Yeah, well My Velvet said you died. She was pretty upset about it, too.”
“Your Velvet?” They leaned forward and gasped, one hand on their chest and eyes all wide. “I knew it! You two are a couple!”
“Wrong.”
“Aw, well I think you'd two made a great couple.”
“Wasn't asking.”
“Hey!” They pointed at my Switch. “Is that the new Animal Crossing game?”
“Yeah,” I grunted. “Animal Crossing: Home Sweet Home. 'New Horizons' got old after a couple years.”
“I used to be into those game videos!” They beamed. “At least until I got here and decided to go traveling!”
“Okay. Also, nobody calls them 'game videos'. What are you, some kinda boomer? Some hippie?”
“No, but I hung out with some stoner aliens for a while!”
“Ah, the Beige.”
“You're aware of them?”
I shrugged. “Aware.”
“Anyway, I think it's fun sightseeing! It makes me happy!”
I grit my teeth. “Don't...don't use that word.”
“Aw, why not?”
“Don't you know what's been going on?!” I spat. “You can't just throw that around so casually!”
“Oh, right! End of the world! It's rather fun!”
“Fun? People are dying.”
“Oh. Was that not the right word? It's fun...ny? Yeah! It's rather funny what's all going on!”
“No! No it's not!”
Did Velvet just invite someone who's infected or something? Infected...was that the right word? Oh, fuck it. Why did I care what the right word was? What mattered was that there was someone staring at me who had no business doing so.
“How is it that Velvet just sees you and trusts you right away?”
“Beats me. Why, are you jealous?”
I crossed my arms. “Not at all. Couldn't care less.”
They smiled wide, such an uncanny smile.
“Not to worry, there's nothing romantic! I don't even like her that way! We're just good friends!”
“Like I care.”
I grabbed another slice of pizza.
“As far as I see it, any friend of Velvet is a friend of mine!”
“Just because you say you're Velvet's friend doesn't mean I consider you my friend.”
“That's okay, I'm used to that being the case at this point! I'm okay with that!”
“You shouldn't be. It's not healthy.” As if I was the paragon of healthy relationships. I decided I wasn't getting anywhere, but if this was some practical joke, I wanted no part of it.
“Let's make this easy for both of us,” I got up and went to my computer. After doing a fair bit of typing, I printed out a sheet of paper and returned to the couch. I handed Blanc a pen and the sheet of paper. “I made you a Questionnaire. If you pass, I will allow you to talk to me.”
“Okay! But I must warn you, I've never been a very good test-taker!”
“No talking.”
They started scribbling in answers and responses. At least it seemed I could have a few minutes of silence. I went back to my game, but as soon as I exited out of the menu screen, they started up again.
“Um, Butch, can you help me with this question?”
“No, and don't you know there's no talking during a test?”
After a few more minutes, they handed the test back to me. What I saw was just a drawing of a sunflower across the paper.
“What the...argh! Never mind! Who cares about a stupid test, anyway?” I crumpled the paper up and threw it behind me. Wherever it landed was of no concern to me.
I got up. There was no helping it. Enough was enough.
“I need a beer. Root beer. Beer of the root variety,” I walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and yelled. “DID YOU HEAR ME? I'M GETTING A ROOT BEER!”
I turned to this 'Blanc' thing. “She hates it when I take her root beer.”
“I doubt she's listening in,” they replied.
“Well, I wouldn't put it past her!”
I grabbed a root beer and popped open the can. Whoever was in the room with me was probably studying me. Probably to see how I would act or react. Maybe this was a test.
“Hey,” I faced Blanc. “You want one, too?”
“Sure!”
“Okay, but you'll have to catch,” I thought saying such a thing would throw them off, but they just said “Okay!” and I threw it. They raised an arm in the air and grabbed it, as if it was nothing.
Fine. But even then, they'll open it, and it'll explode all over the place.
They didn't, though. They just tilted the can from end to end, and smiled.
I walked back to the couch, root beer in hand, and sat down. “There, now don't say I never did anything nice for you.”
“I won't! I think you're a wonderful person!”
“Heh,” whatever that meant, I felt compelled to just nod along. “You're not so bad, yourself, I guess.”
“Aww, do you mean that?”
My face contorted to one of disgust. Ugh. Was not expecting that kind of response AT ALL. What was the deal with this unwarranted niceness?
“That,” I cautioned. “Is yet to be determined.”
Blanc opened the cap, though did so super slowly. Must've been cautious, after all. Whatever. I raised the can and took a sip, one eye open, so I could keep watch of the stranger who claimed to be Velvet's lost friend.
Nothing happened. Well, something did happen. The can opened. That was it. No fizz explosion, just an open can, and then a drink.
Where's the ka-boom? There's supposed to be an Earth shattering ka-boom?
“Hey.”
“Hm?”
“Wanna have a toast?”
“To what?”
I shrugged. “Beats me. How about a toast to being confused?”
They grinned. “Sure!”
We clanged our cans together.
Yes, I knew Butch would get suspicious. That much was certain. What wasn't was the situation. My head felt foggy, my brain empty. Or rather, the opposite: my brain was so full of thoughts that I couldn't sort a single one.
Is any of this real? Is it just wishful thinking on my part? Is this really something I would wish for? Will this make things easier or complicate things further? Is this some kind of sign that things will start to move forward? Is there any way to explain this? Could I be losing it? Have I already lost it and that's proof that I'm mentally incapable of dealing with this crisis and should just give up on everything and live out my last few days while I can?
Okay. That got dark fast. Not to mention, it wasn't like any of those questions could be answered so easily. So, the easier thing to do would just be to shrug and not worry about it so much.
What was I doing? Like, really doing?
“What am I doing? I'm sitting here, alone at a park in a city that's getting more and more empty by the day, while my friends are back at home. I should be with them.”
I decided to take a walk. Yeah, how exciting. As if I hadn't been taking a walk already, and I just stopped to sit down. That park wasn't very interesting; just some grass, some benches, a play structure or two for children.
Further down from the park, however, was a lake. Yes, a lake. Not a pond, not a creek. Rather interesting, that.
Once again, I sat, this time on the ground by the lake. There was a cool breeze, which would have been more fitting for springtime, not mid-winter. Then again, the weather seemed to be whatever it liked to be these days.
“Hm...what kind of thing makes a lake happy?”
Heh. What's gotten into me? Asking silly questions like that. Asking so many questions in general.
It's all your fault, Mephistopheles. This whole mess is.
I threw a rock into the water, but it did not skip. Never could get them to skip, and it looked like that wasn't about to change. I picked another one up, but the thought of the thing I called Mephistopheles back in the summer cropped back up. Blanc had said that was their friend. But then there was all those strange phenomenon when 'she' was around, not to mention what I later learned from Area 51's data files, and my eyes went wide.
“I wonder if Blanc ever knew just what their friend really was.”
How could they not? Unless they were just really oblivious. But then how does one 'befriend' some kind of shapeless horror? Maybe because it doesn't present itself as a horror. The only 'horror' are the things affected by it, not the thing itself.
But then, if Blanc could put two and two together, then why did I still see them die?
Unless they didn't.
No, pretty sure I knew what I saw. But I didn't think I could deny what I saw just an hour ago, either. Hmm...didn't Blanc say something when we left the pyramids about how they read about an alternate universe version of them, but then just figured they probably died.
Ugh! My head!
I threw another rock. That time it actually skipped. Amazed, I looked around and saw a chubby looking man and a lady with pigtails walking by. For whatever reason, seeing anyone at all made me smile. I didn't know how much time there was left, but it was good to know there were still some people around.
Pizza box by the couch, the pizza gone. Bye-bye in my stomach, right where it ought to be.
“I'm bored,” Blanc whined.
My arm slumped on the arm of the couch. “Hate to admit it, but same.”
What was there to do in such a messy apartment? Board games? Hell no! Off the table!
Usually, I'd just work on things at my desk, but it was a little hard to get work done or want to work when there was someone near me.
“I wanna draw! Or color! Or dance!” They exclaimed, continuing to sway on the stool.
“How old are you?”
“Ooh! That's fun, too! We can ask each other questions!” They started counting on their fingers. Their head shook a few times, then nodded, and kept counting. “I'm twenty-four! Or four!”
“Huh?” I sat up. Any sane human would ask 'how does that work?' but I knew better. “Are you like me?”
“Hmm?” They beamed. “I could be!”
“So you were twenty when you first went through, and it's been four years. You must have been one of the first.”
“Math is hard and makes me frowny! I don't do it!”
I ignored that. “I've only been alive for a few months. I think seven, so over half a year. Bad luck on my part, huh? Seeing as about half a year ago was when this thing started spreading.”
“It was going to be like this sooner or later,” they shrugged. “Honestly, it started over four years ago.”
“What? What do you mean?”
They shrugged. “That's when the elevator was unveiled in my hometown.”
“Ah! You were one of the first. Yes, back then, they were still testing and it was still new, so the methods were rather primitive. It was believed that the previous body should be disposed of when the copy was created, so they were cut up and thrown down a garbage chute.”
They nodded, already aware. “Yes, I remember that quite well.”
“Wait. How are you aware of all this? Most people don't know that they're copies of themselves.”
“I learned some things!”
“Mm-hmm,” I scowled. “Guess in vague terms, same with me.”
“That's funny! How was it for you?”
“Well, I worked at Area 51, and they had these weekly 'check-ups' where they did...something. I'm not sure what. I must have been a new person with the same identity countless times, all without realizing it.”
“But now you do!”
“Yeeaaah...” My voice trailed. “Wonder if it would have been better not knowing.”
“I think if you didn't want to know, you wouldn't know!”
That wasn't how things worked, but I didn't think I could argue. “Does Velvet know you're a...you?”
Blanc nodded with vigor.
“Bleh. She probably thinks we're some kinda freaks, huh? Not being our original selves, being this...creation. Great, just great. If there's one thing I hate, it's being pitied.”
“I'm sure she thinks of you as human!”
“Oh?” I sneered. “How can you be so sure? You don't even know me.”
They shrugged. “Does she treat you like you're not a person?”
Oh. So that's it. That was also something I hated. That I couldn't disagree.
“No, she does. I guess in her own weird way.”
“If you're a person, you're a person!”
“What about you?”
“I'm not all human!”
“WHAT?!”
They pointed to their arm and poked at it.
“What are you doing?”
“This isn't a human arm!”
In shock, I watched them pull at their skin and a chunk of flesh tore off. No, not flesh. It looked flappy, like flesh, but I started to understand when I saw what was underneath: metal.
“Are you an android? I knew it! You aren't the real Blanc!”
“Bwahaha! No, silly! It's a prosthetic! I lost my arm a while ago, but I lived and got a new one!”
“Don't scare me like that. So what? You're saying you're less human because you have a prosthetic limb?”
As if it were no big deal, they shrugged once again. “I think I'm human, but I also wouldn't mind if I wasn't, too!”
“You're weird.”
“Now I see! We're pretty similar!”
“Huh? Just because of the clone thing? Then you must be similar to the majority of the world, then, buddy.”
“Heh. I probably am! But also we're similar in other ways, too!”
“Like what? What could you possibly know about me?”
Finger on their chin, they tilted their head up and made a “hmm,” and then went “aha!”
“Do you miss working there?”
Ah, I remember I once asked Velvet that question. Well, I asked her if she missed sitting at a computer, working from afar. Funny, me using 'I' to refer to a past self. Must've been a Freudian slip or something.
“Not really,” I grunted. “I wasn't really even supposed to find out. They wanted me dead, since in their eyes, I shouldn't have existed as I am. Fair enough. That place is dead to me, anyway.”
“I see. Did you feel like you belonged when you were there?”
“I guess?” I shrugged. “That's not really something I think about.”
“I used to think I didn't belong anywhere, but then I met the Beige, and I think I fit right in with them!”
Really? What about friends? That didn't seem to make sense. None at all.
“Say, have you ever been to TJ Maxx?”
What a random question. Blanc sure loved to throw curveballs, no wonder they got along so well with Velvet.
“No?”
“Oh! What about Goodwill?”
“I know of it.”
“One time I went to Goodwill and I saw a disc for a thing called 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing'! I thought that was funny! I mean, how did a person fit inside a disc and why would anyone need to learn to type?”
No. No way.
“H-How do you know my old name?!” I leaned forward and demanded. “I knew it! Something is wrong here!”
“Oh? Did you make that software?”
“No! But! You know about me, don't you?”
Blanc laughed. “You're overthinking this!”
“No! No way! There is no way I'm overthinking this! When Velvet comes home, I'll expose you!”
“Expose me? Oh my...”
“No time for jokes. There's something you're not telling me.”
“That's true. But doesn't that go for everyone?”
“Fine,” I huffed. “Maybe it's a coincidence.”
They giggled. “So your folks wanted you dead, huh?”
Back on the previous topic, I see.
“Yeah. What about it?”
“It was the same for me. Etna told me I was a mistake and shouldn't exist.”
Ah, so that's what they meant by being similar. Well, shit. Now I felt like the asshole.
“Does it bother you? Do you think of yourself as a mistake?”
“I don't mind being a mistake! If I am, that just means I've been blessed to see all that I have!”
“Say, do you still have any root beer left in your can?”
“Nope!”
“Wanna have a toast, anyway?”
“Sure!”
We clashed cans once again. “Here's to being mistakes.”
Silence set, and we both sighed. Now it was back to boredom, it seemed.
“Sheesh, when's Velvet coming back? How long does it take to get food, anyway?”
“I think it's cool that there's a convenience store downstairs!”
“Yeah, but most of the food's emptied or expired.”
“Is that so? Can I go down and check?”
“Go for it. I could probably use the few minutes of alone time, anyway.”
So down they went. Even as they made their way out of the apartment, they looked so giddy. It was rather unsettling to see, but it shouldn't have been. That was just the world I lived in; all the 'infected' I had seen were so manic, that I felt the need to be on guard.
No sooner did I get back in the apartment and sit at the couch next to Butch (See? Told ya I'd get the name right) that the door opened back up and Velvet entered.
“Hey guys, did ya two get along?”
“What do you think?” Butch grumbled.
Velvet didn't seem to like that answer. “Please tell me you weren't too harsh.”
“We got along just fine, sheesh.”
“Oh!” She seemed surprised by this. “Good! That's...quite good, actually.”
She walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Her head tilted, then she closed the fridge door.
“That's weird. I could've sworn I had more root beer than that.”
“Blanc took it!” Butch accused me. I just smiled.
“I was thirsty!”
Velvet opened the fridge again and counted. “It looks like there's two missing.”
“I was really thirsty and Butch said to help myself, so I took two!”
She shook her head and sighed. “That's fine, though I wish you had waited 'til I got home. Oh well.”
Instead of another root beer, Velvet grabbed a can of grape soda and noticed the stool. She walked over and sat down, her eyes on Butch and I.
“What? Grape soda? Since when is that your thing?”
“Never mind that,” Velvet's gaze shifted between Butch and I. “There's something I'd like to discuss.”
“For real? We've been talking this whole time while you were gone!” Butch argued with her gruff voice.
“It's important to me.”
“Fine,” she folded her arms, still scowling. “But I'm finding a chair and sitting next to you.”
“Uh, sure? Suit yourself. Say, Blanc, are you hungry?”
“I have fruit snacks!” I replied, pulling out a large bag behind me.
“What?”
“Don't worry, I have enough to share with everyone!”
Butch walked around and found a fold out chair, which she did just what a fold chair does. To the left of Velvet was where the chair was positioned, and they both looked at me in a way which made me feel like I was on trial. Mind you, a fun trial, the one I wouldn't mind what the verdict was, but a trial, nonetheless.
“Now, you know me, I'm not one to keep secrets,” Velvet began in earnest. “So I'll just come out with it.”
“HA! Keeping secrets is ALL you're known for!” Butch cackled and slapped her knee for good measure.
“Shush, I'm trying to have a serious moment here.”
“Fine, then! Out with it!”
“Blanc,” she faced me again. “I'm calling you that because I want to believe it's really you. But I'll be honest, and no matter how many times you tell me, it's hard to believe that you're from another universe or something. So, please don't blame me if I'm a little unsure what to think of all this.”
“Unsure? Try suspicious! You could have just doomed us both, you know? This person could be infected!”
Oh boy. Well, Velvet still knew it was me, I could already tell. I wasn't really sure what all this was for, but that didn't mean I wasn't unhappy about it.
“Now, now. Do you really think I would do that? Not only bring potential harm to us, but also someone innocent? If this Blanc is anything like the one that I knew, they were only in that elevator once. So there was no build up, and probably the smallest amount of that thing in them.”
“I can understand the concern,” I raised my hand. “After all, I may be the most affected.”
Velvet's concern grew. Her face told me all I needed to know.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I'm sure you know already, right? While it's true the more times you've been...what's the word...recycled? No, that doesn't sound right...hm...”
“How about 'reborn'?”
“Sure!” Okay, back to train of thought. “The more times you've been reborn, the more of the thing you'll have in your system in a shorter amount of time, and probably the highest chance you have of losing yourself and affecting others around you.” It sucked having to refer to Euphy as 'the thing' but I'm sure she didn't mind. What sucked even more was explaining something they already knew. Like a lecture I didn't need to give. Regardless, I continued.
“So while that's true, and I, having only done so once, you'd think 'cool! They're safe!' But really, I was one of the first, and the kind of thing us clones have in our system isn't just any old antidepressant, as you also already know, and it will still build up over time.”
“So what you're saying is...what?”
“Four years can be a long time to gestate!”
Her eyes widened and she was taken aback, her arms also tucked at her chest as if she was trying to protect herself.
“I'm sure most of the first folks who took those rides must've gone through so many times that they're already dead for good! But I on the other hand, am here, not dead! Though I must say, I've had quite a few close calls!”
“Should we be worried, then?”
“Why worry? It's not the end of the world just because the world is ending,” I shrugged.
“I think that's exactly what it is...”
“Oh yeah, huh? So it's really happening. Funny when you think about it. The world ending because people are feeling too good. Rather ironic, don't you think?”
“I guess when you put it that way, it is kinda funny,” Butch snorted. “And here I was talking about how this is no laughing matter earlier.”
“You gotta laugh a little to stay sane!” I added.
“P'fft. Like any of us three are sane.”
“Good point! Say, Velvet, your girlfriend's really smart!”
“We're not girlfriends,” Butch growled.
“Yeah, about that. Glad you brought that up, actually. See, we thought about it, but in the end, we agreed it was for the best that we weren't a couple,” Velvet explained. Butch nodded along.
“So in the end,” Velvet added. “We're just roommates. Roommates who do romantic things together and have lots and lots of sex.”
Right after Velvet said that, Butch looked down like she was trying to hide her face and clutched her jeans.
“Um, I think she's malfunctioning?” I pointed to her.
“Oh, that? She just gets flustered easily. I wouldn't worry about it!”
Butch's face seemed to grow red (from what I could see of it, and I imagined steam rising to the top of her head.
“Hehe, I see you're just as weird as ever, Velvet!”
“I'm not weird, I'm just open.”
“THAT IS WEIRD!” Butch just exploded. Well, okay, not really, but she spat out her words all at once and her face looked redder than a tomato. Like blood! “THOSE ARE PRIVATE MATTERS! YOU DON'T JUST GO BLABBING THESE KINDS OF THINGS TO PEOPLE!”
“Ow, my ears,” Velvet scratched the side of her head. “I think you got some spit on me, too!”
Butch crossed her arms. “You deserve it.”
“I'll respect your wishes, though. I'll try not to embarrass you so much.”
“It's not just me you should worry about embarrassing, but thanks.”
“...Even though it is fun to watch you get flustered.”
“Hey!”
Heh, maybe if those two kept things up, I could be off the hook and we could just have dinner or watch a movie or play some games instead. But before I could get my hopes up, Velvet turned back to me.
“Is there anything you could say that would assuage our worries?”
“Hm....” Think, Blanc. Think and be honest! “Well, I don't usually yell much.”
“That's it?”
“Think about it: all those people you see who are affected, they tend to yell, and it's like they're out of control. Y'know, be real loud, just like how Butch was just now.”
“Hey!” You-know-who didn't like that I called her out.
“Which isn't to say that won't happen, but it's more likely to happen with those who experience something so distressing that the thing inside of them reacts and tries to make them go manic in a way to counteract whatever's overwhelming the person. That's how this planet is in the state it's in, anyway. Someone must have had a really bad day, and that's a no-no when you're supposed to feel really good.”
Butch once again looked down, but it didn't strike me as the same reason as before. Rather than her face being red, she shook, and it looked like she was about to cry. I wanted to ask Velvet if there was something wrong, but I got sidetracked by what Velvet asked me, instead.
“You mean to say that one person could have been the start of all this?” Velvet gasped.
“Eh,” I shrugged. “I mean, I don't wanna say for sure, because then it would sound like 'one person can make all the difference' and that's too inspirational for my taste.”
“Oh yeah. You're Blanc alright. That's something I know Blanc would say.”
“Is it now?” That was quite interesting. “Now that you mention it, I don't mind being a little inspiring.”
“Now that's what I like to hear!” Velvet held a certain fire in her eyes, an excitement that I had been waiting to see. “Butch, can I tell them?”
“What?” She was still a little misty-eyed but I didn't notice anything unusual. “Why do you need my permission? You're an adult.”
“I want you to have a say in this conversation.”
“Fine. If you want my advice, I'd say no. For all we know, they could be a Flashbulb member. Think about it: the only way to travel to another universe is through The Flashbulb.”
“Wait, really? Is that true?” Velvet faced me once more. “Is that true?”
I shrugged. “Probably. I mean, I did steal one of their time travel devices and I probably wouldn't have been able to do half the things I did had I not.”
“Wait. Really? You did that?”
“Yeah! How do you think I lost my arm?”
I could tell Velvet was even more confused, even though Butch knew what was up.
“I'll tell you later,” Butch whispered to her. Lucky for me, my hearing was pretty decent, so eavesdropping was a cinch.
“So if you did that, does that mean you were at their headquarters?” Velvet pressed on.
“What? Like it's hard?” Oh shit. That could have given them the wrong impression. Time to dial it back. “Well, maybe it's a little hard, seeing as I lost it when I came here.”
“Damn! Right when I thought we might be onto something!”
“May I ask why you're interested?” I asked while shoveling a handful of fruit gushers in my mouth.
“We want to save the world,” Velvet declared. “It was The Flashbulb's meddling with things that brought us here, and if I can make it to their headquarters, I'm sure there's a way to fix this!”
“Ooh!” I leaned in. “I'll be cheering you on, then!”
“Thank you.”
“That's quite a bold goal, though. Are you sure you're up for it?”
Velvet gulped.
“Yes. Yes I am. I think if you asked the old me, she would have said no. That she'd find a way to escape Earth, instead, and leave everyone behind. Later, she would regret it, being alone, and not doing anything, and she would have gone mad until she too died.”
“Interesting...and you're different now?”
“I would like to think so. I think it was the bond you and Conrad had that made me realize that.”
“What? Really? But I don't really have much of an opinion of him.”
“Well, the one that I knew. Even though he would have denied it, seeing as he saw you differently than the one that he knew before, he still thought of the Blanc I got to know as important, and I don't regret saving them and taking them with us when we escaped to Egypt on my ship.”
“You know, that was me, too. The timelines only diverged three years after being with the Beige.”
“Oh. Right.”
Still, I never thought Conrad was the type to think of me as 'important'. What did that even mean?
“Then, as I got to know you, or, the you that I knew, I grew to find them important to me as well. I didn't think I would have, though, and I think that's where I went wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I left them behind so I could go to Area 51, I thought they would be safe on their own, but for some reason or another, I later saw them in the facility, lying down and lifeless. It devastated me and I never thought I would come across them there, especially like that, but I did.”
“They were probably worried about you,” I suggested.
“I wish I had told them that I would be fine!” She sounded choked up. Oh no, that wasn't good. “Even if it wasn't true, I wish I had done something so they wouldn't have felt the need to risk their life! I don't even know if there was something I could have done, but I never wanted them to die for me!”
That hit me worse than I wanted it to. While I knew I wouldn't burst like so many people, I still worried what kind of emotions she might stir in me.
“It couldn't have been that bad. I mean, they probably figured your life was more important than theirs. So it all worked out, right?”
“N-No! Because their life wasn't any less important than mine was! I lost a friend and I can't help thinking that I didn't have to.”
Friend?
I burst into laughter. “But that Blanc was boring! What could've been so special about 'em? They were so ordinary!”
She shook her head, for some reason, smiling, as well. When she opened her eyes, however, she looked no less serious.
“Doesn't matter. They were important to me. Just as you are.”
“Me?” I pointed to myself.
“Yes, you too. You consider me your friend, don't you?”
“Yeah...” I sighed. “I mean, that's why I was so excited to see you earlier. But that doesn't mean you consider me your friend, does it?”
“Of course I think of you as a friend,” she tilted her head all concerned. “Did you ever doubt that?”
“Maybe!” I put on a good grin. “Hard to say! But it feels good to hear it now!”
“Sorry if that wasn't clear before.”
“That's okay! You told me now!”
“Yes, but do you believe it?”
I gulped. “I think I will! I believe you mean it!”
She sighed. I thought of sighing as well. It was a lot, a lot more than I was expecting to deal with.
“Well, regardless, I think I realized that it's probably that way with a lot of people. I mean, someone's got someone that's important to them, and in that respect, it really grinds my gears what's going on. All these lives lost, and I get it, people die, but all of this could have been avoided. We've already lost so many people, but I want to believe that the world can be saved, no, restored even! Even if not, I want to at least try!”
“What is this, The Help?” Butch scoffed. “'You is important'? Really?”
“Okay, first off, that's rude,” Velvet shot back. “Second, you're important to me, too. You and Blanc both are.”
Butch crossed her arms. “Like I care whether or not you care.”
“Hey, just for that, no sex tonight!”
“What?!” She spat. “You can't do that!”
“Threatening to withhold affection...isn't that considered abuse?” I wondered.
“Yeah! What Blanc said! Besides, I'm always the one taking the initiative!”
Velvet brushed it off. “P'ssh. It's fine. I was only joking.”
I really didn't understand what the deal was about that, but if it mattered to them, I suppose it was worth a quarrel. Gosh, relationships sure are weird. Did people really make a fuss about such things?
Three more days. After that night, there would be three days left to figure things out. Oh, sure, the world may have still been around after, but that was the self-imposed deadline. Really, I would have said four more days, but Butch did say “make it four” when I said I'd figure something out in five days. So that's how it would be.
Since the day before at the restaurant didn't go as planned, I decided I would make it up to Butch by making spaghetti and meatballs. Blanc wanted french toast and gummy worms, instead, which I was not about to argue about that. This was a night to celebrate, and celebrate we would.
“Say, Blanc, do you wanna stick around?” I brought up during dinner.
“Sure! I'll follow you guys 'til the world ends.”
“That's not that impressive considering that the world's literally ending,” Butch scoffed.
“So that means you'll stay the night?” I asked.
“Yeah! That sounds like fun!”
“Great! Though hope you don't mind the couch,” I turned to my roommate/not-girlfriend. “That means you and I will be in bed tonight.”
“Uh, duh? That's where people sleep.”
It was only a couple hours later, after doing some dishes, that Butch passed out. On the couch, no less. God damn, I should've seen it coming, but I still let it happen anyway.
“Looks like I'll have to pick her up again,” I sighed. Wasn't looking forward to that one bit. Just because I could carry her, didn't mean I always wanted to. She wasn't a baby. She knew where the bed was. Then again, when she fell asleep, it was kind of baby-like...
“Don't worry, Velvet,” Blanc placed a hand on their chest. “I will make the sacrifice and sleep in your guys' bed, that way you can share the couch with her.”
Somehow that didn't sound like much of a sacrifice to me, but I was too tired to really employ any sort of logic.
“Sure, I mean, she is cute...” My eyes drifted toward her. Why, I didn't know. Just a part of my body betraying me, I suppose. “Even though I said we would be taking the bed, I don't want to have to move her...”
“See?” Blanc grinned. “It all works out!”
“Fine!” I scowled. “But you gotta do something for me in return. Deal?”
“Deal!”
We stood by each other for just a sec before I finally got on with it.
“I want to confide something. It's...about her. Here, let's talk about this in the bedroom. I'm afraid of waking her.”
“Shouldn't she be included?” Blanc tilted their head.
“Usually, yes. It's just that I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Like, actually uncomfortable.”
“Ah, how noble of you. The great and chivalrous Velvet! I love it!”
“Hey! Cut that out! I'm like none of those things!”
“Not even 'Velvet'?”
“Okay, I'm one of those things!”
I cupped my hands over my mouth. Next to me was the couch, and on that couch was you-know-who, who moved a little in her sleep.
“Crap...” I whispered. I waited to see if she would wake up, but she didn't. After I was convinced she was still asleep, I turned back to Blanc. “Okay, come on. You made a deal.”
We walked over to the bedroom, Blanc closing the door behind them. I sat at the edge of the bed.
“Are you ready?” I asked.
“Sure, I'll listen. But I can't promise I'll be paying attention.”
“Then what's the...oh, never mind!” I gave a slight laugh, though it wasn't my usual rolling on the floor laughter. Seemed false, hollow.
“Here's the deal,” I began. “About the whole girlfriend thing between Butch and I. I'm pretty sure we both want to, or would like to, or at least I would. Trust me, I'd love nothing more to have a girlfriend, and she does mean a lot to me.”
“So what is it, then? Is it just 'cause her denial over liking you? If that's the case, seems silly to me. The writing on the wall is so obvious I don't know how you could miss it!”
I shook my head. “No, that's not it. I wasn't lying when we agreed it was for the best that we didn't.”
“Don't worry! I didn't think you were!”
“It's just...there's something about her that makes it a little hard.”
“Aw, but nobody's perfect. Everyone's got their flaws.”
“Except me!” I declared in a bout of unseriousness. “My fatal flaw is that I'm flawless. If I was a character in a story, I'd be boring because of how perfect I am!”
“Honest as ever, I see.”
I huffed. “Can't get nothin' past you, can I?”
“You are plenty great, though, so I don't blame you for trying.”
“Thanks, but flattery won't get you more candy.”
“Was worth a try.”
“Anyway, no. Her thing isn't a matter of flaws. I can deal with flaws. I can even deal with her, most of the time.”
“Then what is it?”
“You already know, don't you?”
“I could take a guess, but that wouldn't be very fun!”
“She's one of those folks you mentioned. You know, has that syndrome, or virus, or whatever you want to call it that makes people act out in such manic ways that become so destructive that it kills them and turns them into a threat to everything around them.”
“But she's still around, so that's a good thing, right?”
“It should be. She's had moments, where just like you said, she gets distressed, or worked up, and then she does whatever she thinks would make her happiest, which usually involve something violent. Each time, I've managed to bring her down and back to normal, but I'm just afraid.”
“Afraid of her?”
“No. Even when she's like that, I've dealt with much scarier things. I'm just afraid that one day she'll get like that again and I won't be able to save her.”
“That's interesting!”
“What is?”
“If you're able to do that now, that must mean you make her happier than whatever other compulsion she might have at the time!”
“Heh. Maybe. I'm just worried I'm going to lose her sooner or later.”
“You said you've managed to bring her down from it before, right?”
“Yes. After the first time, she told me she was cured and over it, and I believed her, but it happened other times after. I was just glad she managed to come back to her usual self.”
“There's nothing to worry about, then!”
“Uh...Yes there is?” Unless I was missing something.
“Sounds like a guardian angel listened to you a while back ago.”
That struck me. Memories of back when I escaped the facility rushed back to me.
“What do you mean by that?”
They shrugged. “Whatever you'd like it to mean, I suppose.”
Rather than hold any suspicion, I just shrugged my shoulders and got up. “Well, thank you for listening to me tonight.” I headed toward the door and made my way out, turning out the light on my way.
“Goodnight, Blanc.”
They just sat, having taken my place at the edge of the bed, and smiled.
Every room in the apartment turned dark as all lights went out. While true that I wanted to sleep on the couch with her, I opted instead to sleep on the floor. She was already asleep. I didn't want to wake her trying to squeeze in to find some room on the couch for me.
It was hard to tell whether or not I'd get any sleep, but that didn't seem to matter much to me. My only hope was that everything would come together soon.
1 note · View note
phandomphightclub · 5 years
Text
Phinal Round, First Place Match: @reallydumbdannyphantomaus vs. @heyheyitsstillgay
The ring was repaved. Vic and Tali were back in their seats. Tucker had finally gotten some decent food.
Finally, finally, everything was ready for the final battle.
“Bug versus Anri, huh?” Tucker asked.  “Is it too late to place bets?”
“Who would you bet for?” Danny asked in return.
“Probably Bug, honestly,” he said after taking a big bite from his burger.  “They might be a pain, but they’re apparently pretty good.  Not a ton of ghosts can get the whole duplication thing down.”
“I’d still vote for Anri,” Sam argued.  “They’ve got more raw power.  Plus it looks like they have more abilities than they let on.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out who’s gonna win!”  Tali said brightly as the two ghosts once again entered the ring.
“Our phinal match here, pholks!  Winner gets all glory, honor, bragging rights, and a year’s supply of free Denny’s pancakes.”
“Really?”  Danny perked up at that.  The Denny’s might not have the greatest food, but their pancakes were pretty good.  And a year’s supply of free ones?  He might enter the tournament next time for that.
“Really!  So let’s get this phight started!  From the Observant’s Keep, a ghost who once tried to eat fake grass out of an escape room, we have Reallydumbdannyphantomaus!”
“That was one time!”  They shouted up at Tali, who just laughed.
“And their opponent from Nightmare Valley, a ghost with memes so dank they can’t be seen by the mortal eye, Heyheyitsstillgay!”
They waved to the crowd with a staff made entirely out of Danno faces.
“PHIGHT!”
Bug extended their PowerPoint staff like a lightsaber, red glow and all.  “Ready to finish this, binch?”
“I died ready.”
They two ghosts clashed over the freshly-paved center of the ring.  The Danno staff squealed each time it made contact with Bug’s PowerSaber.
“Is that, like, gonna burn your face too?”  Tucker asked Danny.  “Like some kind of voodoo or something?”
“Shut up, Tucker,” Sam said offhand, her entire attention glued to the fight.
Anri brought her Danno staff down in a heavy overhand blow, putting more of their extra-dense weight into the attack.  Bug blocked, using all four of their arms to hold up the PowerSaber.
“You… have strength, I’ll give you that,” Bug said through gritted teeth.  They couldn’t have blocked that attack if they’d used any of their energy on making duplicates; this was going to be tough.
“I’ve got more than that. I’ve been around longer than you can imagine,” They said, their face inches from Bug’s.  “My core is ancient and fueled by things you’ve only seen in your nightmares.”
“Your… core, huh?” Bug asked, getting an idea.  Twisting and diverting Anri’s staff, they slipped one hand free to punch them in the gut.  Anri grunted and gave Bug an opening to dart away.
“You’re not gonna break my core that easily,” Anri said, spinning her staff and coming back in swinging. Bug snapped theirs into two halves, blocking with one red-glowing half and striking Anri’s side with the other.
“I don’t plan on breaking it.”  Bug smirked. Then they plunged one half of the PowerSaber into Anri’s unprotected stomach.
Anri stopped for a moment, stunned at the wound – but then, as Danny knew would happen, the dark energy began coalescing around it.
“What’s Bug thinking?” He asked.  “They know Anri can’t be beat like that!”
“Why not?”  Sam asked.  That’s right, she and Tucker weren’t there for that match.
“They’ve got a special power.  Instead of being fueled by ectoplasm, the inside of their form is – well, just watch.”
The memes began to trickle from Anri’s stomach as they pulled out the Power Saber.
“You’re in for it now.” They grinned ominously.  But to their surprise, Bug grinned back and stabbed the half of the PowerSaber they had left into the ground.  The projector screen unfurled from it, casting blinding light onto Anri.
“That’s not going to—”
But blinding wasn’t what Bug had in mind.  The two halves of the saber created a link – one that siphoned the memes from Anri’s form and projected them onto the screen.
“What – no!”  Anri shouted, feeling their form begin to droop as it lost its power.  Bug folded two hands behind their back, using the other two to point to the presentation.
“And if you’ll look at this diagram, you’ll see the different types of memes that Anri contains broken down by type and percentage.  I would draw your attention to this slice of the pie chart, which depicts the percentage of bad Danno edits.  It’s unusually high in comparison to the other types of memes, though they are all equally impressive…”
“You can’t just – my memes – my PowerPoint slides – how can you take them from me!?”
Bug pointed to the half of the saber that Anri still held.  “You did that to yourself, my good binch.  You should’ve kept your hands to yourself.”
“NOOOOO!”
And with that last shout, Anri’s flesh prison deflated completely.  We won’t describe what that looked like, because we’re sure it’s already frightening enough, and probably wasn’t suitable for children to watch.  However, the Denny’s does not have insurance for psychic and/or emotional damage caused by exposure to any of the phights, so hopefully everyone could deal with it on their own, or had officially-licensed, non-Spectra therapists who could help them cope.
“Dude, are they gonna be okay?”  Tucker asked.
“Oh, Anri?”  Tali laughed.  “Don’t worry, they do that about once a century.  They’ll replace those memes with even worse ones and come back stronger than ever.  Kind of like molting, or something.  But in the meantime everyone can press F to pay respects.”
Danny looked down and saw a tiny button labeled F on the armrest of his chair.  He pressed it.
Tali blew her kazoo to the tune of Never Gonna Give You Up.  Every verse.  All three minutes and fifty-six seconds of it.  The crowd listened with their arms raised in a respectful dab.  Danny figured he might as well dab too, and eventually even Sam caught on to the mood and obliged.
When the song was over, Tali finally said the fated words.
“Heyheyitsstillgay is unable to battle!  Reallydumbdannyphantomaus wins!”
XXX
“Tucker!  Sam!  Wait!”  A voice called as Danny was about to fly them out of the Denny’s.
“Oh great.”  A resigned glare slid over Sam’s face as she turned to the ghost.  Of course, it had to be Bug.  The one ghost she’d wanted to see get their butt kicked, and it never even happened.
“What do you want?” Tucker grumbled.  “Come to make fun of us again?”
“No, well, actually…” Bug ruffled their blue hair with one hand, two others fidgeting in front of them. “I came to make up.  Here.”
With their last remaining hand, they held out three CDs, one for each of the friends.  Sam took hers with a critical glare.
“Exactly what you think?”  She read the title.  Bug’s signature was scrawled below it.
“It’s the song I wrote for the phinal.  As a friendship gift.”
“If I wanted some lame music, I would’ve gotten something signed by Ember.”
Danny elbowed her, and her she winced.  Okay, maybe it wasn’t fair to hold a grudge for something Bug said one time.  It wasn’t like they had to go out of the way to give them something.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “Thanks.”
“What song is it?” Tucker asked, a little more brightly. He’d never learned to hold a grudge like she did.
“You’ll see!”  They grinned.  “But if you want to know just how lame my music is before that, come watch the closing ceremonies of the Phight.”
“Closing ceremonies?” Danny asked.
“What, Tali didn’t tell you? She does forget a lot.  Anyway, we’re holding it out in the ring in a few minutes, if you’ve got time!  See ya!”
They flew back out of the Denny’s, leaving Danny, Tucker, and Sam confused.  They shared a glance, but figured they already knew what they’d be doing.
“So… who’s up for one last blast in the ghost zone?”
XXX
A few minutes later, the stadium was packed again, this time with ghosts holding candles over their heads. As Danny didn’t have a candle himself, he settled for lighting the tip of his finger and swaying it in time with the music that Bug began to sing.  Tali backed them up on kazoo, putting her soul into the tune’s melancholy air.
Oh Danno boy The phights, the phights are calling From den to den and through this portal side The show is on and all the blows are falling Tis you tis you must go and I must bide But bring ye back when Denny’s is reopened Or when the ring is hushed and in limbo It’s I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow Oh Danno boy oh Danno boy I love you so.
Danny turned at the sound of sniffling.
“What?”  Tucker asked, drying his eyes on his beret.  “It’s a very emotional song!”
Sam sighed and patted his shoulder, to which he mumbled a thank you.
Then slowly and more orderly than they had after any of the phights, the ghosts began to filter away. Almost like they too were mourning the end of a tournament that they’d all enjoyed.  As they left, Danny pondered the lyrics.
“Does this mean… the Denny’s is closing?”
“Only physically,” Tali said, suddenly appearing beside him.  “But in our hearts, the Denny’s is forever.”
“I’m not sure if that was sappy or ominous,” Sam said.
“Both.”  Tali smiled.  “We’ll still be around, but we’ll be on the downlow until the next Phight.”
“When’s that?”  Tucker asked.
“Next year, probably. It’s a lot of work to run a Phight Club on nothing but a few pancakes and the money we conned out of Vlad.  But don’t worry, it’ll come sooner than you know it!”
And somehow, in spite of all the crazy things that had happened in the past month of watching the Phight, Danny looked forward to it.
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survivortaveuni · 7 years
Text
Episode 10: “I Mean, Whatever, I’m Having Fun Lying” -Jack E
It’s merge! It’s jury time! Lots of fun things are happening now. For one, Lily is finally going to tribal! And she was loud and proud about that fact. 
Once again, Charlotte and LA reunited, and this time they solidified their duo-ness and solidified their alliance to be an F2 alliance. Their intent was to play different sides while secretly working together. 
Another alliance formed: an original Motomaiqi alliance, minus Billy. Jordan was kind of the head of this alliance. LA, though, wasn’t keen on staying loyal. She was playing with the two heads of the opposing alliances: Steffen and Jordan. She was doing her best to make Steffen trust her. And though she was officially aligned with Jordan, she wanted to flip on him ASAP for being a threat.
That would have to wait, because Jordan won the first individual immunity. Things didn’t look too bright, because so far the name floating around was Jack C’s, his closest ally. After talking to Lily, who suggested either Jack or Billy, Jordan pushed for the latter. Jack C was paranoid, leaked the plan to vote for Billy, and was scared of how close the vote might be (not very) and was wondering if he would need to use the idol (he didn’t).
Steffen at first had some confidence in the game. He thought he had a few people on his side: he had an alliance with Tyler and Charlotte, and he felt he could trust people such as Lily, Billy, Jack E. Things started collapsing. Lily told Jordan that Steffen had all 7 stamps by now in the Rainbow Reef, making Steffen suspicious of their relationship (Jordan also told Steffen that he only had 2 stamps, which...was true in, like, the first round of the game). And once the plan to Billy was leaked, he lost all hope. He deleted his spreadsheet for navigating the Rainbow Reef. However, he did find an idol! Perhaps there was some hope... 
Ultimately, though, Steffen decided to let Billy go and not play his idol. It appears third time was the charm, and Billy was sent home 9-1, with his 1 vote for Jack C cancelled by his idol, because it appeared to Jack C that he wouldn’t be needing his idol anytime in the near future, apparently. 
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w e d i d i t b o y s
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Dear Bumbleshocked Diary, WELL HOLY BUTTGILLIAN, THAT WORKED. I don't know it almost felt like this thing and plan went off without a hitch, which I'm kinda obsessed with but also kinda worried about, but I'm pumped about a couple of things so I'm excited.  OKOKOK so firstable, I'm just floored I got the plan to work, like Billy had his death sentence because it felt that we couldn't get anywhere on Bouma and he was dead, BUT NOOOOOOO, apparently I got better skills than I could have ever thought and I got Charlotte and Tyler to flip on Shea, and boy, lemme tell you, that kinda makes up for how Shea treated Gage in Midway at the tribal that Gage went home in.  The ironic thing was, Gage was the last pre-juror, and guess what happened to Shea, he made f11, but no jury....BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ok sorry that was mean.  ANYHOE, so I'm sitting here, with my 3 advantages in my pocket, no votes cast against me and guess what......WE MADE MERGE AND JURY, so now there's that little bit of breathe before things likely go to hell but still, I'm excited, my worst placement is out of the way and I can sit in f10 knowing I at least made jury.....but I want to win so everyone else can cheauxke. Now I'll do some thoughts on the tribe atm so I can at least see if it can help me decide what to do. Billy-Bae but has admitted to being my extra vote Charlotte-Was in a trio with me and Lily, and later in a trio with Tyler and I have unloaded some game thoughts onto her so I do believe we have something good Jack C.-Ok so I actually haven't been on the same tribe as him pre-merge but he sent me this conversation as our first: [5/8/17, 10:18:39 PM] Jack (Ginga): Helo sir [5/8/17, 10:18:47 PM] Steffen Bøhn: Why am I a sir lol [5/8/17, 10:19:17 PM] Jack (Ginga): Would you rather be a madam [5/8/17, 10:24:30 PM] Steffen Bøhn: I mean whatever floats your goat tbh [5/8/17, 10:25:12 PM] Jack (Ginga): Speakig of floating id love to float to not first merge boot [5/8/17, 10:25:14 PM] Jack (Ginga): Thanks [5/8/17, 10:28:51 PM] Steffen Bøhn: kinda same lol This conversation has made me love Jack C. so much because I think he's so oblivious to the term "social" game, but it also makes me want him out real bad because he thinks he can get away with this... Jack E.-He bae, I voted for him in all stars so that makes me worry about whom may target us because of that but if he truly just played for jury, hopefully he can be my other Billy Jordan Pines-We had a mixed relationship in the past but I want to believe that we fixed it........who knows, but he told me he only had 2 stamps, which is worrisome, but he knew I had all 7, so thanks Lily, but once he did find out, I told him once you swap em out you can't go back to the reef so hopefully that's something good enough.  But I'd rather he be gone sooner than later LA-She's basically a queen I finished hosting in Solomon and I wanted to meet up with her for the longest time so this is really exciting, so now I just got to hope she wants to work with me. Lily-She was my number one early one, but she may have told Jordo that I have 7 stamps and thats worrying so now I got to be careful for how much I tell her.....mess, the kush was too much tbh Steffen-Binch Steven-THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE....jk, he seems nice but I haven't been able to test his loyalties because we never went to tribal together so I don't know where he stands with me which is worrying Tyler-I feel like I was more scared of him for no reason but I may have him in my pocket now since I let him in that Nic was trying to blindside him and Shea was throwing a vote on him.........not the best socially from what I learned which is hilarious, but I like him, he a bae and can stay So I guess after this the people I'm most scared of is kinda Jack C., Steven and Jordan with Lily sprinkled in there because of her telling Jordo, but what else can you do right now, I guess it'll come down to who wins immunity, but who knows, if there was an edgic this season, my past 2 episodes would've been dope tbh considering what I did, but I guess we may just need to breathe rn. Anyways wish me luck Diary, Steffen the bum
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I am very happy that I made the merge. Both other times I played I never ended up making the merge, so this is very exciting for me. I have no idea what is going to happen tonight. Hopefully it's not me going home. I really don't know though. 
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Ain't this a bitch. Votes appear to be going on me and Billy, with them SUPPOSEDLY leaning 6-4 in my favor, but I don't know for sure. I'm gonna play my idol on myself probably, DEFINITELY if Billy gets idoled, but I just dunno, man. This sucks, yo.
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So now that we've merged, LA and I have a final 2. We actually know each other IRL, so... yeah, that helps. It was weird not talking to each other while we were on separate tribes but hey, we both made it. Also fuck Jordan, cheating at the challenges is BS - I don't care that it's a loophole, there are no loopholes in the real game of Survivor. C'mon, man. Jeff Probst does not approve this message. 
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This is a confessional. Try and medivac me motherfuckers
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Dear screwed up Diary I don't really care anymore people are pegging me as a duo with Billy, and here I thought I'd be able to hold onto an extra vote in Billy for longer but apparently thats not a good thing now people think I have a rainbow idol even though thats not the case because I tried swapping the rainbow pass for the rainbow idol but nothing, so I'm thinking Lily or Jordan has it because well Lily has all the stamps but Jordan could've gotten it too, so that's real grand. SO I deleted the spread sheet with the instructions on where the stamps were, now I personally dont care about what happens I'm going to vote out Billy because I saved his ass twice and now he's on jury, so if I survive 6 more tribals then we might be in business but that all depends on tonight. I'm not going to use any advantage and if I'm voted out with an idol in my pocket it'll be hilarious, but as of now I'm going to vote out my closest ally and make sure that I can re-evaluate where I am in the game, because I'm sure as hell on the bottom rn, but if things hold up tonight, LA and Tyler are true hunts, but I guess we'll have to see if shit hits the fan. So in the end Diary, it's been real, will I be first juror or make single digits, who knows, but one thing thats for certain is that the stamps are cute AF. Fed up with the world, Steffen
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https://youtu.be/wMEMDBtndw4
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I feel like I'm being too honest with Steffen right now, but I wanna work with him and if I blindside him or lie while he knows the truth, he's not gonna trust me and I need that. Char seems to be on the bottom of the alliance she has with him so I need to be good with him and hope he doesn't flip on me. I also don't want people figuring out Char and I are working together, I want Steffen to think he's my solid person, and get rid of Jordan ASAP because he's just going to keep "winning" challenges and he's already in a position of control, sort of, but that's fine with me cause as long as he looks like controlling things he's a bigger target than me. Plus once Jordan is gone Jack might become a solid number for me, since we've been working together but he also slipped the plan so who knows, he might need to go too. We'll see how this plans out tonight, Steffen knows the plan so if he or Billy have a hidden immunity idol they can save him and I should still be good with him and I can blame Jack for him finding out so I should still be good with Jordan too. I'm putting a lot of trust in Steffen this round,  hopefully it doesn't fuck me over.
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I'm totally fucked if Steffen plays his idol on Billy but I mean whatever I'm having fun lying to Steffen and he really thinks he can trust me or he's just leading me to believe that. I might just throw a vote because it will be funny to see everyone's reactions. Idk y'all heard me on my call last night I'm in a cracked out position
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Episode 1 Part 1 "Hit the Ground Walking” - Matt
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YALL IM FUCKING SCREWED!!! I don’t think Karen likes me that much - she’s close with Linus. Who by the way has me blocked on facebook. So I pretty much have no options on this tribe and I’m completely fucking fucked. I’m just gonna try to band together with people who don’t talk as much and aren’t all that outspoken and aren’t cliquey and work with them to save myself bc RN!!! im looking like first boot!!!
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give me like 10 idols now
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oh so now you guys put a link up while ive been talking to myself for the past 2 hours. 
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i’m going to stab everyone with this machete and the only person who can stop me is on the other tribe (jk i love everyone here except for like the one person who hasnt responded to me yet)
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“if you know how i feel then why would you say that like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation like you know I’m not happy” how this freak win all the games lately 
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so it’s crazy johnny is in this game and i have him blocked i hate myself huh? and monty is talking to me and ryan is so i hope i am good with this tribe i am nervous, but ready.
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Oh wow. Im-back-bitches.gif. So this tribe is something else. There Karen Lexi and RTP and Karen wants us to make a solid four, but I can count and that leaves 6 people out, and 6>4 so we need at least one if not two more people. My picks are chrissa because I have a good relationship with her already, and then maybe Mitchell because we’ve been talking the most. And then if Lexi know Zachariah then that’s another one. Beyond that, there’s Dana and some other people who I can’t remember 🙃 I know I’ve been talking to one of them but idk who that is and I don’t have the energy tonight to figure it out lol.
So basically the plan for the next few days until I get back to the us is to build groundwork relationships and try to find a solid 6 to stay with until a swap or merge.
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Star- They still haven’t come online and I am hoping that they are painfully inactive so we have an excuse to vote someone out first! 
Johnny- Haven’t talked to him but at least he has accepted my contact request and like said he wouldn’t be here. He is a frat guy and some of these people are not who frat guys would typically hang out with so he might be an outsider 
L.A.- I wanted to work with her since I saw her intro she is super chill and seems really smart I like her A LOT! If I am making an alliance she will be in it 
Kaya- She’s super sweet and honestly a little angel I love her so much
Luca- Really annoying but seems to like me. He is an experienced orger so who knows maybe he’ll be in my alliance also He’s talked to Kaya a lot 
Lily- I know she can beast a comp so she needs to stay on my good side. She is one of the experienced newbies and she is aware of how I play at least a little bit so I am not sure how long I want her here 
Aromal- Nice guy! Kept asking me questions about everything which was sweet because it makes me seem like a good person and that im looking out for him!. Honestly his time zone might be an issue but if I stay up super late and search for an idol I can blame it on him because that will be in the middle of the day for him 
Allie- She is a little SWEETHEART I LOVE HER SO MUCH! She seems super innocent nd like honestly someone I’d want to have under my wing She’s a newbie and I feel like she will be loyal to me since I talked to her right away and am helping her get used to this 
Daisy- Shes gorgeous and I enjoy her company but not someone I am loyal too yet, She seems a little suspicious and kinda distant because she left me on read! 
My general strategy is to align with the newbies who haven’t played orgs ever. From what I’ve noticed Lily and Daisy aren’t super strong socially so If I can get L.A. Kaya Luca and Allie all together it will be a strong alliance of 5 and I can keep them on the outside. Hopeuflly star isn’t here so we can vote them out first like easy vote, but if they arrive super late I might as well talk to them a lot to make them feel safe and be the first person to reach out to them. I love the tribe so much and I hope it isn’t chaotic, but I am going to play for sure, I want to form an alliance and start to get things rolling
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Welp! I guess i’m fuckin back here to ruin my life again!
I’m starting off the same way I started off in Malaysia - forming good relationships with people. And while that may have unknowingly landed me into a minority, the relationships I formed still allowed me to pretty successful and arguably run the table during the pre-merge, setting myself up for a perfect post-merge run that was only ruined by… Applebee’s. 
The one thing I should’ve done was parlayed those early relationships into more tangible early alliances. Jenn and Jimmy wouldn’t have voted Kendall out if they didn’t have an early alliance with, and inherent trust in, Isabelle; that was my undoing, and I aim to rectify that. Let’s see who we’ve talked to so far. There’s Ryan; we were talking a lot about stuff, and I feel like we’ve easily got the foundation there for a strategic allegiance. He’s confided in me that he’s worried about his position on this tribe given his history with some of these players; I can either utilize that to my advantage and make him a number, or he could be an easy third first boot. I don’t want him to be a first boot because I feel like I can work with him, but it’s good to have options.
Zakriah is probably the person I’ve talked to the most after that. We’ve got a lot of similar thoughts on Survivor and we’ve clicked really well, so I think we could easily work together strategically. She seems like she’d be a lot of fun to bop with throughout this game. She did, though, like Ryan, confide in me that she’s worried about her position in the game, given that Linus has her blocked on Facebook; another situation that leaves me with options, which is good.
Speaking of Linus, we’ve been speaking a fair amount and have reasonably bonded to some extent. I like him, and I hope that he and Zakriah don’t end up going against each other. I’ve also been talking to Dana a similar amount, and think that we’re good with each other for now, at least in terms of forging early relationships. Monty and I haven’t spoken a terrific amount, but I’m optimistic about that relationship as well.
I don’t know Karen or Lexi that well coming into this, but we’ve played games together before when they were honorary members of the Malaysia reunion chat, so there’s some familiarity there. I think I’d rather work with Lexi than Karen, but I’ll take whatever I can get. I’m disappointed in myself for failing to capitalize on these relationships more than I have to this point, but I can amend that moving forward.
I tried talking with Chrissa and she kind of just disappeared so… you’re my first boot choice :)
And Matt… the kid’s weird! It’s like picking teeth talking with him because he responds in very curt answers that make conversing difficult. But I think we actually get along and might be aligned???? But I’ve got nO FUCKIN CLUE LMFAO I honestly don’t know whether he ever means anything he’s saying and it’s just… we’re gonna watch this boy. 
As for the fans I just want to fuck up the frat boy as soon as I can lmfao anybody who says that “I’m probably more unique than anyone you have seen before” makes me wanna vomit and ima laugh when I whoop his ass 
I’m gonna fuck shit up :) let’s do this binches
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Whew! This cast (my tribe atleast) is pretty social right off the bat. I think I’m off to a decent start, but as it stands I’m still terrified of being first boot. Alright so mini cast assessment
Jacob - Easily the most social so far. I would bet my left pinky that he has sucked up to everyone so far. He’s sweet but he seems like the type that will pretend to be your best friend then backstab you once you’re a liability to him. Good gameplay to get to the end but won’t get the jury.
Jacob - Easily the most social so far. I would bet my left pinky that he has sucked up to everyone so far. He’s sweet but he seems like the type that will pretend to be your best friend then backstab you once you’re a liability to him. Good gameplay to get to the end but won’t get the jury.
Luca -  My fav so far. He seems like a guy I would hate on paper but he’s super charming and likable. I would bet on him going far.
Kaya - She’s okay, we have something in similar in that we both feel like fish outta water so I might align with her.
Johnny - yikes @ that intro 
Lily - sweet, likable
Zakriah - Omg so Zak is one of my best friends in the Wikia ORG community and I cant wait to meet up with him if we both make to the swap.
Linus - Another friend from the Wikia community ! Linus and Zak have a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship so its gonna be interesting to see if they work it out.
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So right off the bat I feel like I hit the ground walking I guess. I’m trying to take things slow and kinda get to know people but so far there’s so many people and they honestly seem indistinguishable. I definitely need to get my ass in an alliance sooner than later though and I’m tryna work with Chrissa rn and just get meself some numbers. Wish me luck.
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https://youtu.be/1TPDpOdcaP4
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Ok so I am going to try and work on something in this game that I feel like I usually fail at. And its my social game. I feel like my social game is generally pretty good for pre-merge it fails once we hit merge. I want to really get some strong relationships on this tribe before a swap or merge happens. My only roadblocks are Karen and Lexi. I know both of them already and I feel like me working on my social game with them is just going to come off fake, plus I don’t know if they actually want to work with me or not. Let’s see how this goes. Right off the back I feel like I hit it off with Mitchell. He is someone I could see going far into this game with. We have similar senses of humor and were immediately talking a lot last night. He seems to be nervous about his perception as well so he could be someone I work with well i that regard. Also y'all really cast some all stars when the first thing chrissa said to me was that she was nervous to be in a game with steffen again….hun….pls
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So when the Idol thing came up OBVIOUSLY I wanted to go hunting bc unlike Malaysia I didn’t have to search tumblr tags like “suicide” and “depression” to find safety… BUT having other people know I might be searching was a big no-no for me.
So what I DID do was stay up late, tell everyone I was going to bed, and then about half an hour later I went searching for the Idol. There were only two people up to begin with it seemed - I would’ve preferred it if there had been nobody - but I don’t think anyone suspects me. I didn’t find it, but that doesn’t matter so long as nobody thinks that I had anything to do with this. There’s always the chance that it backfired and that people DO think it was me but… I don’t know about thaaaaaaaaaat.
For one, by the time I woke up, Ryan told me that both Matt and Chrissa were interested in an alliance with him and myself. That’s good in and of itself, but Chrissa was one of the two people awake during my sneaky shenanigans - I don’t think she’d want to work with me if she knew I was super sneaky!! And Dana was talking to me about it, and I pretended like I didn’t even know someone had gone. “WHAT???? Someone looked for an IDOL??? No WAY!!!” My relationship to this point with Dana is painting myself like an emotional and stressed wreck so that she can relate to me and that she would underestimate me; based on the way I’ve portrayed myself to Dana thus far and my claims that an Idol search like this is way too stressful for me, I’d wager that she would bet it wasn’t me.
I could always end up looking like a fool but I thought this scheme was so fun and so far it looks like it’s working!! The only way to make it better would be to stir up some mistrust between the others about who it could’ve been. I’ll regret it if I’m first boot but I’m fuckin dancin rn :~)
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So someone is looking for the idol already… interesting. It’s easy to cancel out the people who were speaking in the tribe chat a few minutes after the idol is being looked for, which is good. I could easily go into my tribe chat and explain it to people that if we all just write in our tribe chat, it’ll help to cancel people out who AREN’T looking for the idol, but I’m not gonna pull that card just yet. Let’s see if it becomes an issue. Looking for the idol on day one probably won’t get a lot of people a lot of luck. There are bound to be clues along the way, and hopefully I can snag some of those, but I’m sure already some of those items on the boat had clues in them, or even punishments, but it seems like I didn’t get either of those since I haven’t been notified about anything
oops too late
I couldn’t even control myself LMFAO
Honestly, I don’t know why I enroll myself into these games. I hate talking to people, but I still have to do it, even though I know most of these people just lay on their asses all the time and do nothing, so I don’t know how I’m going to compete when I actually have legitimate responsibilities besides going to high school for 6 hours a day and then laying on their asses for the other 18
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https://youtu.be/xc0XCUl3Pfo
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Well the survivor train is officially leaving the station, I have assembled my first alliance with Chrissa, Mitchell, and Ryan. Of course Chrissa will be my number one, I mean she shared her clue with me without me even asking like that’s my kind of ally. I was kind of hoping I could work with Karen this time around but RIP it already seems like I may have started throwing her under the bus, she just made the mistake of saying she was friends with Nigel and people noticed that and I’m not gonna put my neck on the line for her. Sorry? I am for sure playing to win this game, I don’t just wanna be on this train I wanna be the mofucking conductor.
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g o d I don’t wanna be that person but I absolutely hate that RPDR has to be involved with the challenge. I hate how closely it’s intertwined with the TS community, and I can never stand hearing about it. Like… I always feel like I’m overreacting, but the whole concept just seems so transphobic (not to mention that RuPaul himself IS transphobic as hell), and it just doesn’t feel like an accepting community when something like that gets discussed so often. And I always hate talking about it because I always feel like I’m just overreacting, and… hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just wish that people would realize how inherently harmful it is towards trans girls, and that it creates and fuels the stereotype that trans girls are just men in dresses and makeup. Because that’s what the dr*g q***ns on the show are. And I know this is probably not the kinda thing to put in confessionals but? Whatever, I need somewhere to put it and discourse will start if I put it in tribe chat or on my Tumblr blog.
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I tried to help out in this challenge despite not knowing what tumblr is even though I’m a returning player and my entire life was came at so hard so I’m just gonna…..not 
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I’m the absolute worst and have completely forgotten to give a confessional this whole time so I’m probably gonna get a shitty edit oops. Anyway I’m really tired right now so I’m not sure if what I’m gonna say will make sense but a lot has happened so far I guess. I created a core alliance which includes me, Luca, Jacob and LA. They’re all super nice people and I’m hoping I can go far with them in the game. Some of the people on my tribe I just haven’t connected well with and I’m having trouble talking to them. Also Jacob told me he searched for an idol, which is crazy information that I posses, but I trust him so far so of course I’m not gonna tell anyone. I’m still a little bit confused about somethings but I’m a lot less confused then I was at the start. Also I’m not sure what 90% of the things  Isaac say are because he always deletes his messages lmao. 
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So I accidentally forgot that Star was on our tribe because he never talks, oops. Anyway I tried personal messaging him and asked him if he’s found any interesting posts for our challenge and he said not really. I’m not sure if he’s just shy and confused or if its that he doesn’t want to try but whatever. Anyway I’m gonna be kinda pissed if we loose this challenge because like I’ve accidentally ran into way too much furry porn while searching through these tags. 
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It’s the third day and I still haven’t done one of these, so I figured I might as well start. This has been a really fun start to the season, the tribe seems really chill and laid back and I feel I’m getting along with a few people. Am I in a good position in the tribe? It’s too early to say. Right now I’m still just focusing on getting to know my fellow castaways!
Possibly the people I’ve been talking to the most are Kaya and Jacob. They’re really nice, and we’re also in an alliance with LA together. I really feel this has a high chance at succeeding.
The odd one out seems to be Star. He seems completely uninvolved and in case we get to tribal, my vote will probably go on him.
But yeah, fun tribe, fun start, and I’m looking to do as well as possible.
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So you know how people are always like “I just wanna meet new people and have fun” and how I always say that? I feel like I am actually doing that. This challenge is mindless so it requires no real effort. I have been spending my time trying to make bonds with these people I didn’t know before and it is so much fun! I am legitimately enjoying my time in this game so far.
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