#like I feel like a fucking idiot cause ppl will mention things

[sevicia]

I got really mad about this 👆 exchange and then went on a rant with 18393 tangents and it doesn't even make sense

I HATE when ppl do this like OK. Context: this is a video of a girl just like, doing her makeup, and the first comment goes like "she's my type" (not a direct translation but u get it etc) and the last comment in the screenshot goes "they're the ones that will traumatize you the most! from experience!" (also not direct translation sorry)

shut UUUUUP SHUT UP SHUT UP I hate people like this so bad esp. when it's about girls cause it feels like girls literally cannot fucking win like OK a girl likes Sanrio stuff! so cute forever! and then some fucking idiot goes "she's probably mentally ill or some shit" like who ISN'T mentally ill in this day and age ?! It's literally normal to seek comfort in cutesy stuff when you're in a bad place mentally because that's what it's FOR !!!

or when a girl like dresses in more revealing clothes like OK she likes to look sexy she enjoys feeling attractive yk good for her !!! and then the two most common reactions are like "she's obviously a slut" (common douchebag logic) OR "she's obviously trying to get attention from men / provoking them" (incel-y logic) AND THE WORST PART IS THAT BOTH TYPES OF GUYS WANNA FUCK HER!!!!!!! And they still judge her so bad come ONNNNN

LIKE no matter what a girl does, a lot of guys will always have something negative and dehumanizing to say about her and then they're like "WAHHH why do no girls want me, why do all my girlfriends leave me, why why why" BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE THEM AS PEOPLE ‼️‼️

IDK something about fitting girls specifically into boxes feels so so wrong because it's Literally always been like this, like "this girl is ONLY this and nothing else about her matters", whereas with guys it obviously happens too like the "fitting into boxes" thing, but it's different because guys have never been denied jobs or opportunities or relationships or BASIC FUCKING RESPECT based on said boxes IN FACT people will OVERLOOK most flaws a guy can have with excuses like "just how guys are" "he's too young" "he can learn to be better" ET FUCKING CETERA and NEVER extend that same attitude towards women ⁉️⁉️⁉️ DIE

I feel like it sounds shallow (?) coming from a guy but it genuinely pisses me off SO BAD like hearing stories from my friends, the women in my family, girls online, all about men who have been violent or creepy or just shitty in general to them and them having to just fucking shrug it off and continue to deal with it every single day of their lives because even if everyone's like "ugh the feminists are taking over" truth is that it's still the same for many, MANY people all around the world but now that it's not socially acceptable to be a violent misogynist, the violent misogynists who want to maintain their image will just be less loud about it!!!

This might be kinda weird of me to say but I'm like, glad that I'm not a cis guy because I HAVE experienced life as a girl in a lot of ways so I kinda know how it feels (even though I haven't had many shitty experiences with men myself due to the way I live) and while that obviously doesn't mean I can't ever be misogynistic, it feels like I'm a lot more conscious about things that cis guys don't even think twice about and it's not even BIG things, it's stuff like listening to what girls say and by that I mean like, literally physically listening, because some of the grown ass men in my family will interrupt women AS THEY ARE SPEAKING, or just straight up LEAVE in the middle of a conversation !?!!! Like it's SO EASY to just not be a shitty person.... ?! It's basic decency and it's crazy how they ONLY do this to women and will gladly sit and listen to other men speak.

Sorry this post is a mile long I just get really fucking mad about this and AGAIN I feel like I sound like those guys that are like "I'm such a feminist you should totally date me because I respect women did I mention I'm a feminist" but truth is all I do is listen to the girls & women I know and become pissed off in their behalf like I don't even know what to DO about it except support them and try to show them how much I love them I love my friends and my sister and my mom so much!!!!! but I can't just blast all the shitty men in their lives from existence!!!!!! I forgor where I was going with this or if I was ever going anywhere at all in the first place T_T

#making me wanna kill somebody ! #I do have like some sort of complex of people seeing me as something I'm not #like if someone told me I fit the ''nice guy'' stereotype I would jump off a bridge. #because that's not how I try to be or the intentions I have and I hate being misunderstood #WHATEVERRR #long post #OH and the phenomenon of trans guys who are like WILLINGLY misogynistic is absolutely baffling to me. #like you DO know that YOU get to decide what kinda guy you are right. Right ???? #another tangent LOL but it's why I don't like most ''how to pass'' tips #because I saw some that were like ''don't cover ur mouth when u wanna speak while eating'' like WHAT!!!!! #have you considered that like. that's nasty. and also not something men should get a free pass on. #and also not something you should be encouraging in trans guys. #literally a mile long I'M SO SORRY

[fictionfixations]

jon and ace thoughts (i go off topic)

talk about NSFW seggs. its only mentions, thoughts.. okay. this is a really weird thought but its been plaguing me for awhile

and so like.. considering Jon's asexual, if they (Jon and Martin) ever did the thing, I'd think they'd take over the "Laughter During Sex" tag.

ive had this stuck in my brain for a LONg time. cause so like. cause people can not be interested in it themselves but say, like to make their partner feel good, or enjoy the emotional closeness of it? or maybe even not be interested in it themselves, or have a desire to, but willing to do it for their partner (okay that sounds wrong. but like. neutral i mean. not actively pursuing it, but arent repulsed by it either i mean, and thus wouldnt mind doing it for their partner, which id assume would still stick under ace spectrum?) this has been haunting me for awhile. i just needed to get this out here. its just some cute fluffy idea that's probably more them just acting normal, talking, yet the moment is a lot more intimate and close and lovey-dovey. dude they dont even have to move or anything like that, they could just sit (oh my god my sleep deprived brain said 'shit there' HAHA) there and be entirely content in each others arms, and itd be the cutest thing ever and 100% relationship goals but also in the event i ever desire to write this (doubtful because i generally dont write tooth-rotting fluff unless i have like an inspiration like that). i wont because i am terrified of doing a bad interpretation and that asexual doesnt even work that way in which.. yeah probably. i mean its probably best not to gatekeep or whatever and thats probably what im making it out to be but also like.. idk im just scared of being judged ig like 'nO THATS WRONG YOU IDIOT YOU BUFFOON YOU UTTER DUMBASS'

so im.. probably gonna leave. nsfw and jon far far away apart. because i mean i know you could just.. not make him ace. but like. ..no. that feels as cheap as turning characters trans just so they can have like straight sex. which theres nothing wrong with that in general because i mean 1. representation. 2. doing what makes you feel comfortable (like.. i mean id imagine if you had no idea how seggs worked youd have to ask a friend or something. and that gets awkward fast and thus its more comfy to just have what youre used to?) and etc etc but also haha it gets sexualized. so i perfectly understand that how some trans ppl might not be okay with that, just the same could be said for ace. i mean, there are two sides of a spectrum. for fucks sake im on the aromantic spectrum, it doesnt necessarily mean i dont feel any romantic attraction, but it still counts as on the spectrum, and therefore jon could be anywhere on that spectrum. he could be repulsed by seggs and find it gross or something, he could not have any desire to do so but doesnt have an opinion, he could not desire to do so but willling to do it with a partner, he could just enjoy making his partner feel good, he might just like fantasizing about it but hating it in practice, idfk theres a lot of different labels that nobody will know about, thats how it works, and things can vary a lot. and for obvious reasons no official source is gonna say what kind jon might be, its not even their business, which gives people a lot of creative liberty if they want to do anything with it. im just worried someone out there might have this stereotypical thought of what ace ppl are like and wrongly defending them, or maybe that the ppl themselves are uncomfortable with it or something like that. and i mean i cant speak for them, and heck maybe ill find out im on the ace spectrum who knows, but i still wouldnt be able to speak for them because i as a person, know i can feel and have romantic and sexual attraction, and that can be very different for people who dont have those same feelings or those who have no interest in it whatsoever. thus. to simplify it. my interpretation of ace jon is where he doesn't have any interest in it himself (or maybe he would be repulsed), but wouldnt mind doing it to make his partner feel good (there doesn't even have to be any penetration whatsoever), to do it for his partner, or to just enjoy the emotional closeness of it.

but im also kinda terrified im in the wrong here and this is a false interpretation thats not ace at all. so. yeah. just getting these thoughts out here.

#tma jon #jonathan sims #thoughts #writing ideas #acespec #asexual #asexuality #aspec #off topic

[joculatrixster]

I posted 7,601 times in 2022

That's 780 more posts than 2021!

581 posts created (8%)

7,020 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

inkstaindusk

ace-in-the-quiver

doodlebeeberry

asavt

I tagged 7,549 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#mod trix - 707 posts

#reblog for l8ter - 552 posts

#loz - 517 posts

#lol - 440 posts

#cookie run - 437 posts

#pokemon - 359 posts

#link - 285 posts

#yup - 217 posts

#zephyr - 178 posts

#cookie run kingdom - 166 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#as long as they respect skintones acting like a black person cant have big eyes or tiny noses is wwell gross! especially in a stylized styl

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The current discourse revolving around Affogato Cookie is literally just Aloe Cookie but genderbent.

YUP i said it in my reply to anon its not about HIM specifically its a FANDOM WIDE ISSUE the fact this keeps happening is the issue. as one of the only fandoms w/ MULTIPLE CANON nonbinary and gnc cookies we cant keep forcing gender roles on cookies then acting a fool when they dint align w/ our assumptions this kind of thing is what makes pll not want to explore their genders because then they'll feel like there something else to them like they have to be gay or nonbianry. like i get u guys want to express thise hcs but the problem is i NEVER see ppl say cookies like cheesecake or chocolate bonbon are nonbinary or trans women no its always sour belt or aloe. why does Affogato HAVE to be a trans man or nonbinary but not dark cacao...? think about why u guys chose the LITTERAL man in a dress for ur trans hcs but not the strong heroic kingdom leader. thats fucked up. and trans men can hc whayever the FUCK they want i dont care but cis ppl and other trans ppl are ALSO buying into it and being upset he wasn't a she/her or they/them. thats when i get the issue. because this shit never spreads in the fandom unless a cookie is gnc and yall wanted them to be the opposite gender or nonbinary. if u make trans hcs even subconsciously because u dont like the assigned gender of a character thats. fucked. up.

this is coming from a bitch w/ a mostly trans and nonbinary friend group who loves dresses, skirts, and leggings im very much fem irl but i do not use she/her online. anyone coming across this in the tags pls stop assuming if someone disagrees w/ u they r automatically an enemy to ur cause lmao just tell me if u disagree and we can have a talk about it

36 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#4

btw if u think kumiho is a slut/whore genuinely i hate u so much if u think its ok to insult her like that i want u hunted for sport

38 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#3

if ur harassing ppl over info that came in a brand new update ur a bad person i dont care if canonly or heavily implied the dragons r all related the devs JUST dropped this info and ships like Ananas x Pitaya have been around for years. let ppl hae time to see the new info and change their stances on stuff yall r too fucking rude and stupid to understand that sometimes ppl dont play updates or dont have all the info before u run ur mouths istg

46 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#2

FELLAS IS IT GAY TO-

60 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

dear cookie run mutuals! i just got a reply on my post about how Cream Unicorn canonly did kidnap children(not even mentioning modifying 2 adults body w/out their consent) that was condescending and also woobifed cream unicorn cookie. once again fandom ppl assume when i point out the flaws of my favs it means im being malicious and misunderstand canon as if im an idiot newbie who doesnt understand what motivation is so i obviously make posts w/ouit understand that no bc ur fav was sad/lonely they get to do whatever they want

u know what that means?

war. this means war.

im gonna start Cream Unicorn cookie is a bit fucked up propaganda now. join me in my cause of being petty bc someone didnt bother to read my tags on my post for the millionth time!

Cream Unicorn cookie is a faerie who IS fucked up that DOESNT mean they r evil but it does mean they lack general human morales and will do things like *checks notes* kidnap children and keep them bc they r lonely bc they do not understand other ppl may like *check notes* not want to be trapped in a fantasy world forever! wow! look at that a valid interpretation of a character based off canon facts that doesn't woobify my fav or ignore their actions. ik its crazy to see it!

if u wish to see more of this join me in the cause!

63 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #so glad it doesnt count dleted psots bc i would kms if that meme i psoted that blew up was there

[anxious2dsimp]

General Dating Headcanons | Sero, Todoroki & Bakugou

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Sero x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons​

Warnings: Cursing bc Bakugou 🙄 (as if I wasn’t the one who picked him lmao)

Request: :))) hellooooo :D hmmmm may i get general dating headcanons for sero, todoroki, and [insert your favorite character]? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 @smexy-goose

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Hi again!! Omg yes, I’ll gladly write some hcs for the best bois! I had a hard time picking a fave, but since I have written for Kami and Kiri in the last request I decided to go with blasty boy❤️ (Also, I’m trying a new way to post requests, I hope it works!)

Sero Hanta

I feel like Sero is genuinely so fun to date, just like he said in that one dorm episode, he’s always the wild card.

He’s a goofball, so he adores making you laugh and smile as much as he can. I love him omg😭

Will definitely take advantage of his height (he’s among the taller ones in the class) and give you surprise hugs from behind and rest his head on yours.

He’ll also use his quirk on you for everything from pranks to just randomly pulling you to him to give you a quick peck or a hug :’)

He’s pretty standard with PDA, so he won’t go around making out with you in public but he will do little gestures like those <3

In private I feel like he’s definitely cuddly, he’s just so happy to be with you!

He loves having you over at his room to just chill or be in each other’s presence, even if you’re doing stuff individually.

Speaking of, the bakusquad definitely complains about you having privilege in using the hammock in Hanta’s room. 

Denki will whine like; “why does y/n always get to use the hammock? You said it was out of bounds!”

“That’s on pretty privilege, sorry! And you’re just jealous you don’t have a cool s/o like mine,” Sero will say and poke his tongue out from the hammock where you’re swinging togehter :’) 

I’m warning you now, if you had a healthy sleep schedule before going out with him, you can kiss it goodbye.

Sero will absolutely be up till like 3 am sending you memes and tiktoks that remind him of you.

And with him blowing up your phone you’ll most likely end up talking into ungodly hours of the night, the *sleep deprivation* only causing funnier conversations.

Those will end up becoming inside jokes that he’ll bring up to make you laugh while the rest of the class is like ???

That also results in some weird ass nicknames sorry not sorry

So he’ll sometimes call you regular stuff like babe and other times... he’ll call you things like “Bert” (FOR NO REASON??) or “Candied Blood Pumping Organ” instead of sweetheart lmao

Overall you two are just THE chaotic couple (and if you’re not generally that way he will bring out that side of you)

Pranking your classmates? Pranking each other? Random ass adventures? Trying weird food together? Dancing in the kitchen at midnight while sharing late night snacks? By going out with him you said yes to all of the above.

From sneaking out of the dorms for late night food runs to occasionally skipping class to go to the arcade or the beach, you usually can’t go a week without doing something fun togehter.

This one time you two were out with the Bakusquad and y’all stopped by a supermarket to get food. 

So you had to ask Bakugou to buy you something bc you and Sero had to stay outside and just hand him the money.

He was like “tf?? why? Just buy your shit yourselves!” You had to explain you two were banned from the store because Hanta had accidentally crashed a cart he was driving you around in into a display of cereal boxes.

Ah yes, good times.

Todoroki Shoto

I feel like he’ll definitely need a small push when it comes to relationships bc of his past, but once you’re with him he’ll care deeply about you and will try to make you as happy as you make him :’)

I’m begging you, please give this boy some luv and affection!! For the most part you’d probably initiate PDA because he’s too nervous to do it himself

At the beginning he wouldn’t even be comfy cuddling, solely because he’d be afraid of hurting you somehow :(

But once you’ve reassured him he complies, and from then on out you just have to open your arms and he’ll instantly know it’s *cuddle time*

It’a one of his favorite pastimes bc he just feels so safe and loved <3 he also just loves the feeling of you playing with his hair

Luckily you get to do it year round since you cuddle his hot side in the winter and cold side during the summer

I feel like he’s secretly insecure, so the fact that you trust him and love him for who he is makes him feel like he could melt <3

Because of that you’re the only one he truly opens up to and shows his real feelings to, not to mention the only one who can touch his scar

And though he isn’t great with words, one look at him during one of these personal moments when its just you two, and you can just see it in his eyes.

Especially if you kiss his scar, his eyes might even get teary this sweet boy I 😭

That’s also probably why he shares his precious cold soba with you

Since you’ve been together, Shoto has just been so much happier, so his siblings and mother LOVE you.

They’re constantly inviting you over for dinner when Endevour is working (bc he’s a huge buzzkill to say the least), and his mom adores when you come with Shoto to visit her :)

Todoroki really enjoys seeing you get along with the people he cares the most about...

 BUT what he hates is THE EMBARRASING STORIES HIS FAMILY TELLS YOU OMG (you live for them, but I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you)

“Fuyumi remember when Shoto-” “Natsuo, no💙“ your bf will say as he unconsciously squeezes your hand, both of the siblings laughing at Shoto’s glare.

You had to hold in your laughter so hard omg

Though he isn’t that talkative, you guys definitely have that kind of relationship where you two could be silent and still feel completely comfortable (oh I’m so jealous of that but nvm)

He’s definitely observant, so expect the most considerate gifts and the most assertive observations, he’ll always know what you need.

The type of observant that gives you a water bottle before you even notice you’re thristy during training, or switches sides while walking so you loop your arm with his on his warm side when you’re cold.

Also the type to gift you that one thing you really wanted but mentioned once like months ago along with your favorite snacks/drink (you best believe he has them all memorized bc he’s just that attentive)

Over all, just a really soothing relationship were you can be comfortable with each other and feel at home when you’re together.

Bakugou Katsuki

Ok so, I feel like you’d be a competitive couple, turning anything into a competition in an endearingly annoying way.

You’re definitely the type of couple to go to laser tag, an escape room, an arcade, etc, as dates >:) but the competitions don’t end there:

Who can plan the best date? Who can make the other blush first? Who can get the other the better gift? Who’s the better kisser? Who gets the higher score in class? Or wins at sparring?

Especially when it comes to productive stuff like training or academics, although he won’t admit it, he’s just pushing you to be your best because he knows how amazing you are :’)

All the bakusquad knows about your shenanigans and at this point they’ve learnt to stay out of it & go get the Advil just in case bless their souls lmao

I’m sorry but he definitely calls you nicknames that purposely piss you off (with no ill intentions ofc), like “gremlin”, “dumbass” or “booger”

I suggest you also call him stuff like that back, like “angry pom” or “blasty” to get on his nerves >:)

You guys also definitely friendly bicker all the time, knowing that you take it lightly (though strangers won’t, resulting in some hilariously awkward situations)

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he’ll say rolling his eyes as he messes up your hair.

Just watch his smirk dissapears when you reply, “no, u❤️″ It gets on his nerves, I just know it.

So he’ll chase you around as you call each other random stuff. While the other people at the convenience store are just like  👁👄👁

He never means it tho, keep in mind if you’re dating the self proclaimed future no. 1 hero he thinks highly of you :)

So he’d definitely be protective while simultaneously showing you off <3

Will always greet you with a kiss and keep his hand on your back or waist so ppl know you’re with him

RIP anyone who tries to hurt or flirt with you, I say try bc Bakugou will be exploding them even before they get the chance😅

Denki’s definitely almost gotten his brows blown off his face bc of that lol

Speaking of, the bakusquad still can’t get over the fact that THE lord explosion murder has a soft spot for you,

You mean you take care of his injuries, scold him when he burns himself out, touch his hair, and hug him when his moody... and you DON’T get cussed out and blown up? Shooketh

However they don’t see what happens behind closed doors, & how you’ve helped him with all the trauma he has experienced

You’re the only one who he is vulnerable with, you’ve seen him cry and he tells you about his nightmares and fears

You do the same with him, and you promise each other to get through anything together, which you’ve done so far :’)

Bc of that his parents love you, and his mom’s always going on about how she’s so glad you “stand” his son😂

Why can’t he be real ughhh

#Cassie likes MHA! #bnha hcs #bnha x reader #mha headcanons #mha hcs #sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta x you #Sero hanta hcs #sero hanta headcanons #sero headcanons #sero hcs #sero fluff #hanta sero x reader #todoroki shoto x you #todoroki fluff #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto headcanons #todoroki shoto imagine #shoto todoroki headcanons #bakugou x y/n #bakugou imagine #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki headcanons #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugou hcs #bakugou hcs #bakugou fluff #katsuki bakugou fluff

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle #dmemebj

[ickymichi]

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐈 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒:

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

<3 warning: none really! just slight mentions of nsfw but nothing brutal, swearing, v slight angst, mentions of insecurity.

<3 things to know!: set in the timeskip, unless i’m like ‘this was back in high school’. (implied female) reader and issei are in an established relationship.

<3 summary!: headcannons i have about issei and his appearance/body. :)

<3 a/n: see i genuinely had no idea what to call this. like it’s headcannons that i have about issei’s appearance/body?. and also to make some of the things named more normalised and to make ppl see how attractive they make ppl. reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

all contents belongs to hotboyissei 2021. please do not repost or modify on this or any other platform.

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄𝐒: listen to this okay. issei with freckles on his shoulders. beautiful i know. but just imagine it. those nice broad shoulders with thousands of freckles scattered across them from years of tanning and getting sunburned on the beach while on holidays or just from the numerous summers he spent in your backyard getting a tan. just running your hands across them seeing how some of them connected to form a bigger one. he always tells you it tickles. but never says stop. also in summer he gets them on his face from the sun.

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐒: he definitely had them on like the part of his back where his arm meets his shoulders, on the under side of his biceps and definitely got some on his ass cause boy got cake. but he’s insecure about them and used to hate wearing tank tops cause you could see them. but you told him how much you love them and how cool they look. now mf thinks he’s hot shit (as he should) and walks around your house in them or just shirtless. if you have some to he would literally always be telling you how attractive it is. literally constantly.

𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑: he definitely is on the hairier side. like he got hairy ass legs let me tell you, but it thins out when it gets to his thighs a bit. definitely waxes or shaves his ass idc idc, was scared from this one time he was watching porn and it just got a shot of the guys hairy ass and he was disgusted. but also he got like, not a lot to where he has to constantly wax it, but a nice amount of chest hair, like it’s only on his pecs not on his stomach you know?. side story!: it was like, two months after you started dating and you were having a movie night at his and you were staying over. makki convinced, i mean convinced him you were going to have sex for the first time. so issei being afraid you’d think his chest hair is unattractive he booked a chest wax and made makki come with him. he recorded the whole thing and showed you two years later, big bad matsukawa issei himself, screaming from pain and nearly breaking makki’s hand with the grip he had on it. end of side story :). his happy trail? pheww that shit idky it’s just attractive to me for some reason. also has a bit of stubble but he shaves it cause of one time in third year he was just really lazy that week and didn’t shave and when the four of them went to go to the cinema on saturday oikawa said: “who’s uncles coming our way?”. from then on he never goes out with to them without shaving beforehand. if you tell him you find it attractive he’d grow it out a small bit just to see your reaction. but if you said you don’t like it he’d do it anyway to annoy you.

𝐀𝐂𝐍𝐄: high school issei definitely had acne. not like major but had some on his cheeks and his back. he hated it sm cause all his friends never had a problem with it. until you told him it doesn’t matter if he has it for not he’s still seggsy as fuck. now timeskip issei? not as much. he made sure to start taking care of his skin halfway through high school. that is until masks became a thing, poor guy has a love hate relationship with them now.

𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆: listen, issei eats. mf has the biggest appetite you’ve ever seen. ceo of “you eating that?”. every time you see him on the couch he either has a bag of crisps, chocolate, popcorn, leftovers from last night or a takeout he ordered in his lap. man just loves food (i relate ‘sei dw). but all that eating makes boy bloat like crazy. like, he has a fast metabolism so mf never gains weight that much🙄. but he could literally eat half a sharing bar of chocolate and suddenly he’s eight weeks pregnant. also, he didn’t know what bloating was until you finished a movie night and mf took half the popcorn, had his own bag of jellies and three of the small multipack chocolate bars. so when he undressed for his shower and caught a glimpse of his stomach that normally only has a bit of pudge, pushed out to where it looks like he gained weight over night he has a stroke. this how shiz went down:

“(Y/N)!!” you literally sprinted to the bathroom thinking he fell or sum. “what issei? what happened?!”. “have i, have i always been this big?” “what? you look like you always do”. the distressed noise he let out along with him fake stumbling and grabbing the counter had you confused. “i look pregnant! what do you mean i always look like this? we’re getting a treadmill or at home gym or whatever i need to get back to how i was. good lord i really let myself go.” he ran a hand across his face while rubbing his stomach and looking in the mirror. then it hit you. “oh my god you fucking idiot, you do realise how much shit you are right? your just bloated.” “bloated? the fuck is that?”. you then spent the next fifteen minutes sitting on the toilet seat explaining what bloating was while he showered.

𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇: i just know baby don’t got teeth that look like a fresh set of veneers. and it’s not like they crazy crooked, just slightly that you barley notice unless you’re up close and stare at his mouth. but because he’s always looking at himself it’s the first thing he sees. this leads to him covering his mouth whenever he laughs and only slightly smirking or lifting his mouth to a small closed lip smile when he’s told to smile. everytime he has to take a picture with his family one of his auntie who’s taking it shouts: “smile issei!” every time. and he always says: “i am though”which leads to his getting pinched in the side by his mother and her telling him: “fucking smile properly before i whoop your ass” through gritted teeth while she smiles brightly herself. he grew to not care as much when, you again, told him you love his smile when he threw his head back instead of covering his mouth when you told him a funny story.

𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐒/𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐒: heavenly i know, but bby doesn’t completely agree. we all know boy thick especially those gorgeously thick thighs! but he just thinks they’re too thick. he’s used to seeing oikawa and makki’s slender ones, so when he stands in front of the mirror in a pair of swim shorts he bought and they’re swinging on his waist but about to rip around his thighs he can feel himself start to tear up. and then, what a suprise, you walk in!

~ start story:)): “ ‘sei! you ready to go, oh are you okay?”. he whips his head around to see you standing in the doorway in the swim set you just bought your self. ‘god you look so good’ he thinks to himself. “uh yeah yeah i’m good just need a few minutes these uh, they don’t fit.” he brings a hand to his face and uses his index finger and thumb to wipe the tears in the corner of his eyes. “oh well then you can just tie the strings, that’s what they’re there for, i told you to go a size down silly”. you stand infront of him and start to tie the strings in the shorts around his waist. “no doll, they aren’t to big, they’re to small look” he motions his head to the way they’re straining around his thighs and he just wants to start crying again. “oh i see, we’ll theres nothing we can do there , is there? we’ll just buy another pair on the way.” how? he thinks. how are you not laughing in his face that his legs are to fat to fit in a pair of shorts that are 2 sizes to big for him? “i know what you’re thinking,” your soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “why is she not laughing at me huh? she probably thinks i’m fuckin’ ugly” you do your best to mimic his deep voice but just sound silly trying, making him let out a small laugh. “how many times have i told you how much i adore your legs hm? how many times have i done, such oh so sinful things on them while going on about how much i love them?. to many to count issei. so next time you think all those silly bad thoughts just think of me and every time i tell you nice things about them!”. now he’s definitely crying, but this time over how much your words helped him. and now he feels like a million dollars as he struts across the beach to the three men waiting for you with his neon orange shorts tied around his waist and clinging to his thighs. end story :))~

jesus i forgot about his legs. anyway, all his life he’s been told how ‘lanky he is’ and how long his legs are. this makes him feel like shit really,most of his jeans stop above his anlke so the only type of socks he had is the long ones that he uses to hide his ankles fromm people, making them think he has the perfect size. he’ll never forget the time he spent hours shopping with his mother and trying on countless pairs of trousers for an upcoming wedding that and they stop above his ankle. he feels embarrassed really, seeing the fitter tell him they can just get them custom made, but it’ll cost more plus the original price. watching how distressed his mother gets when he tells her how much it’ll be. he doesn’t want his mother spending that much money on a pair of trousers he’ll wear once so he butts in saying it’s fine and he’ll deal with it by wearing black socks and no one will notice. the same exact problem happens several years later except in his mother’s place is makki along with oikawa and iwa, watching him get fitted for your wedding. he tells himself ‘think of (y/n), think of (y/n) and how much she says she loves your legs’ but it’s hard to when all the other men have no problem finding the perfect suit size. he doesn’t want to pay extra for a custom suit but that’s what it looks like is going to happen.

-end <3

#🤍.issei #🧸.soft times #🍬.hcs #matsukawa issei imagines #matsukawa imagines #matsukawa issei x reader #mattsun fluff #mattsun smut #matsukawa #issei matsukawa x reader #matsukawa issei #mattsun x reader #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa smut #matsukawa headcanons #matsukawa fic #haikyuu matsukawa

[kalinawtokilig]

S/O who gets into fights

Pair(s) : Sugawara Koushi x Reader, Yaku Morisuke x Reader, Akaashi Keiji x Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader, Semi Eita x Reader 

Ohoh, boi good luck. 

Summary: 

It’s not uncommon for you to get into a fight, as you don’t look nor act the type. You don’t ask to get into a fight nor provoke, you simply attract trouble, (Oh, a problem child,,) But if this person (or people) are talking smack about you, you bet your bum that you’re gonna sit down and let them. Nah, you put’em up. Warning? You ARE the WARNING. 

Sugawara Koushi x Reader

((I love and pimp him. Pimp pimp pimp)) 

He hears it from Yachi. More like, the team does and Nishinoya and Tanaka are ready to throw some hands.

During practice, Yachi, the sweet girl, poor her; she sees you having an intense argument with two other third years when she comes to refill on water bottles. 

She knows you, talking to you a couple of times. You were always a sweet upperclassman, kind and soft to her and the team, even Kageyama and Tsukishima showed you respect in your presence. 

But when one of them swung the first punch to your face, you bet she dropped everything and hauled ass to the gym to call over your boyfriend. 

Sugawara. Ah, yes, the duality of this man. I would say unpredictable, cause some say he’s the responsible type to stop the fight by finding a teacher and others say he’ll unleash Tanaka and Nishinoya. 

I say, he’s the type to KNOW who you are and WHAT you are capable of. Yes, he can join in the fight, but last time he saw you fight someone he was unaware and baffled that you are able to land solid one punch (( WANNA BE SAIKYU HEROOO)) and knock’em out. Nah, he’s the type to collect the aftermath and try to bury the evidence ((What a sweet boyfie <3 )) 

“Suga-san! (Y/N)-san i-is in a fight a-and I think they need help!” She screeches, catching the attention of the team members. 

“Ah, I’ll be back. Gotta collect the corpses.” 

Asahi, Hinata, and Yachi nearly pass out when he says that. “Corpses? (Y/N)-san killed them that quick? And Sugawara is the accessory???” 

When he finally reaches you, though he knows you’re capable of standing your ground, he can’t help but worry the bruises and cuts on you. You may be able to keep standing, but that doesn’t mean you can avoid ALL their hits. 

When he sees your figure, his fingers dig deep into his palms. “(Y/N)?” He calls out to you. You’re huffing and you straighten your back, turning to face him you smile lovingly to him. “Yes, Darling?” 

He may simp for you but that doesn’t mean he can’t lecture you. 

Sighing, he crouches to the two fools who decided to provoke you and talks to them in that tone where you can’t speak because you’re scared of what they’re capable of. He says that he’ll be watching them closely and that if they mention their S/O beating them up, not only will they all get suspended but Sugawara will make sure they’ll never face pride or regain their HONOR back. (ayye zuko wassup ?) 

Standing up, he looks to you and holds your hands as gingerly as possibly, observing the irritated redness on your knuckles and the splotches of small red bloody dots. His nose scrunches cutely as one hand lets go of yours to cup your face carefully because of the now forming bruise on your pretty face. 

Sighing, he smiles, brows furrowed, “Sugar, next time, go easy on them. I don’t want your pretty hands to be so messed up. I love you and I don’t mind bandaging them up and kissing them to make you feel better, but I feel the more you punch the more your hands’ll fall off. Then who am I supposed to hold hands with?”

You can’t help but crack a joke, “Ah yes, losing Daichi and me in the same year, my poor Darling~!” You coo to him. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“Oi!” 

Yaku Morisuke x Reader

((Babie,, cat babie ,,, dangerous babiee,,)) 

While the fiery, third-year, libero of Nekoma dislikes Lev, you absolutely cherish the tall boy and found him cute.

Kuroo makes fun of Yaku saying you should date Lev instead

then you retorted to the rooster head saying that it’ll be weird cause Lev is basically a little brother you’ve always wanted.

One day, after school, while your boyfie was at practice, you were on cleaning duty and overheard some students talking about your two favorite people.

They made fun Lev and then Yaku. They absolutely insulted him for his height and his plays while they made fun of Lev’s intelligence and lack of plays. 

And they chose D E A T H 

“Hah? Whatcha say?!” 

Commence a brawl 

You could’ve used the broomstick by breaking it in half and shanking them but you wanted them to know not to die JUST yet.

You were able to leave satisfied yet still pissed. The other students didn’t speak a peep, as to know not to mess with your temper and if they were a snitch, well, snitches get popped. 

for the ones who talked smack, you both came to the conclusion to say that you guys were playing too rough with the cleaning supplies 

When practice was over, you waited by the gate for your boyfie 

Seeing him, you smiled at him and he came up to you, flicking your jaw

“Ow! Love, what was that for? You’re not give your soldier a loving and tender hug for defending you and our child’s honor?” You pouted cutely to him. 

His eyes widened a bit,  a pink blush on his face until he squinted his eyes at you. “You got into a fight, again.”

“All in good nature, babe!” You stuck out your tongue to him, surprisingly he stuck out his tongue, to lick you with his own. 

“Wha-”

“As much as I love you, you’re lucky that I wasn’t there or I would’ve killed you too to get rid of the evidence.”

“...Aw! You love me so much that you’ll clean my messes, I love you too, Morisuke!” 

“...I love you too, you frickin idiot.” 

Akaashi Keiji x Reader

(Ayyeee back at it again, Akaashi-kun, how ya doin?) 

Akaashi may be a patient man, but this man can hold his patience with a sharp knife and cut it instantly 

It was your movie date and while you waited for Akaashi to get popcorn and snacks, your saw one of your best friends. 

You went up to say hi until you heard them talk bad about you, saying how Akaashi is only dating you to keep an eye on you or how you’re too naive that they obviously don’t want you cause you’re too clingy

with the cold, freezing, slushie, you ‘accidentally’ trip and spill it all over your now ex-bestie

like your bestie, that two-faced bih doesn’t go down without a fight

so basically this was your break-up fight

As he bandages your hands, you were too nervous to speak to him

You weren’t afraid of anything, not failing, not teachers or authority, nor suspencion

Though, you were very afraid of Akaashi’s silent temper

“Ah, Love-”

Pretty boy looks at you so quick you flinch for the upcoming lecture yet he says nothing which makes it even more scary for what he’ll say

“Are you mad at me?” You ask cutely, pouting and looking through your lashes while your head is down in shame

After a couple of minutes waiting for his answer, he sighs

“Blossom, you know how concerned I get when you get into fights. It...” He looks away, “hurts me to see you hurt...I love you a lot that I’m mad at myself that I wasn’t there to help you.” He confesses with a red tint spreading to the tips of his ears. 

Oh dear LORD this man continues to speak heavenly got ME swooning- 

“I should’ve known that friend of yours wasn’t true to you...I’m sorry I couldn’t see that. If you want, we can have Kenma pirate the movie and send us the link. Better than going out, right?” 

((THIS MAN HAS THE AUDACITY TO SMILE LIKE A FRICKIN GOD AHW I HATE IT HERE))

Your eyes sparkle and you launch to hug him, he lets out s strangled yelp as he falls back onto the bed 

Though easy to get into fights, you were easy to cry, as you were emotional to these kinds of things

“AGHAAHHSHI I LOVE YOU I FRICKIN HATE YOU CAUSE YOURE SO PERFECT UWAYWHH” ((omg me))

Chuckling, he buries his head into the crook of your neck, one hand on your side and the other petting your hair

“I love you too, blossom” 

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

((YEES YES YES YES I  STAN AND I PIMP ,, PIMP PIMP PIMMP))) 

((LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT. HIM.)) 

What a cactus. Don’t we stan? 

I stan. I totally stan. 

When you get into a fight this man KNOWS he’s most likely gonna watch to see if there is any bih to try to hit you while you’re busy fUCKING UP WITH OTHERS WHO MESSED WITH YA

Iwaizumi is literally the chillest ngl 

Will probably join if some CUNT ASS BIH  decides to pull ya hair or pick up some petty stick to beat you with it

((the more i write at 4:30 AM, the more my mind expands to more fight scenarios ohohhhh get ready my friends)) 

Literally the toughest couple

no cap, no one will mess with you unless they’re tryna get f’d in the a in the most unpleasurable way (omg that rhymes) 

Oikawa makes funny and teasing jokes about how you both look so intimidating that you’ll get wrinkles on your faces

“Keep barking, Oikawa, cause I can make sure my kicks can knock off that bitchy attitude <3″

“Why are you and Iwa-chan like this.” 

“Lmao get wrecked Trashykawa.”

Sometimes you act like Oikawa’s guard too, the fans know of your rep around school, so they don’t bother Oikawa as much which means Iwaizumi doesn’t have to spike volleyballs at his head so they can head to practice without any distractions ((Though Iwa still does it when Oikawa gets too flirty when thanking you)) 

Omg I can go forever with Iwa holleeeeemolleee 

I feel,, that when he’s bandaging up your face, your cleaning the cuts on his....chest.... n’ biceps,,,oof to be you... 

I feel like getting into fights can also count as a date

how fun would that be

talking about your fight date with him in front of other ppl who don’t really know you

I imagine you and iwa-babes talking and you’re like, staring so lovingly at his face and reach to touch the cut above his lip and you’re reminiscing 

“Babes, remember when we fought those two losers at the parking lot of a Target?”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. That dickbag got his ass handed to you, nice right hook by the way.”

Then the strangers RUDELY overhearing are like ‘Wth??? is this?? real?? did they actually fight two people?’

You did.

Oikawa posted it.

Semi Eita x Reader

((Grey haired babes hit different, y’know?)) 

he’ll just be >:|

I can’t say he’ll be mad at you, but more like, concerned that his face looks mad

The same with Akaashi, you’re waiting for him to lecture you, but he’s quiet when he’s...worried,,concerned

You got into a fight because some BIHS from another sports team talked shit about the volleyball team, SPECIFICALLY your boyfie (how convenient for the plot) 

You may be smol but you have HELLFIRE

“AYE WANNA SAY IT TO MY FACE MUTHA-”

Long story short,,, you may have won the battle, but you are unsure if the war will reign supreme, by war I mean you’re preparing for Semi’s scolding

Waiting in his dorm room, you played the soundtrack he made for you and patiently waited until he came back from practice

When HE DOES come from practice, he opened the door to see you sleeping on the floor, back against his bed and when he was going to quietly coo at how cute you look, he gets a closer look at the split lip and bruised knuckles

...You have...a tampon shoved up your nose? 

“Muse. Bubs.” He cups your cheek, then patting it gently. 

When you wake up, you jump back

“BUBs, beh, listen, I, may have done something to someone out of provocation and insults whereas I also defended not only myself-” You wince at he narrows his lovely eyes at you, peering for you to go on (omg you frickin simp)

“I have protected you and your team from their,, falsehoods”

(Why are you talking like that lmao)

He blinks once. twice. going to his bathroom, he gets the first aid kid he ALWAYS had to restock because his babes CANT STOP GETTING INTO FIGHTS so he can patch you up 

“I love you, but we can take their idiocy, it’s just your idiocy I’m worried about...” He continues on, then he starts to listen to the music you’re playing

you’re playing one of his playlists he made for you

specifically, “When I’m with You <3″

He becomes flustered and you wonder if HE’S okay 

“Sh-Shut up, stupid! Stop getting into fights!” 

#akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi keji x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara x you #sugawara koshi x reader #yaku x reader #yaku morisuke x reader #yaku morisuke x you #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime x you #semi eita x you #semi eita x reader #semi x you #semi x reader

[danny-chase]

Warnings: violence, blood, realism in comics, me mentioning things stans want to ignore to make a point, you don't have to consider them canon, I'm just making a point don't hurt me

Right. Been seeing dialog about Jason's decision to give up guns that i feel is missing a few points.

1. Bruce is traumatized by guns. Yeah he jumps in the line of fire every night but that doesn't mean he isn't scared of/triggered by them:

[Image ID: Oracle!Babs and Robin!Tim roll/walk through the clocktower. Babs: (about guns) Hates them. But doesn't fear them. Tim: Not the way he jumps in the line of fire night after night. Babs: Line of fire... Babs: I was afraid of them for a long time. I'd go faint at the sight of a gun on TV. Tim: You have reasons, Barbara. So does Batman. Babs: But I. worked through them. Babs: Maybe Bruce hasn't. Maybe he's not the rock we thought he was. Tim: He bought a gun as therapy? Babs: Look at the facts. He bought it just like any other citizen. Like he wanted to experience it as someone else would. Tim: I don't think- Computer: Keyword media search alert. Tim: What's that? End ID]

Birds of Prey (1998) #40

Bruce's opposition of guns is partially based in trauma - it's not completely a moral stance or completely logical rule. Jason giving up guns is for himself, but it allows him to be closer to Bruce and for Bruce to be more relaxed in his presence -> can make their relationship closer.

2. [X] weapon isn't even lethal. Getting cut/hurt + no health care = possible death from infection -> shooting a henchman with regular bullets in the foot can be lethal. Or cutting them with a batarang.

[Image ID: A girl walks home getting off the school bus. Girl: "Mama, I know you don't want to hear this, but --" She opens the door to an empty run down house. Girl: "Mama? Mama are you --?" She opens up the bathroom door, revealing her mother sweating and bleeding out on the ground, trying to press a towel to a wound on her side. Her mom is wearing a henchman outfit for the H.I.V.E. Girl: "Mama!" Mom: "Why -- Why are you home so soon?" The girl holds her mom in a sitting position. Girl: "This isn't the flu. You said you had the flu." Mom: "I -- I will be better soon. I just need to rest." Girl: "You need a hospital, mama." Mom: "No. If they find out -- they'll take you away from me. Send me back to Guatemala." The final panel shows a wisp of Ravens cape, the view zoomed out. Girl: "I know you want to protect me, but you need help now -- no matter what happens later." Raven: "Maybe I can help." End ID]

Titans: Titans Together #4

Similarly could ppl stop acting like rubber bullets are non lethal, everything the batfam uses can be lethal and cause scenes like above. Literally none of them can claim moral high ground they've all thrown batarangs in people's faces (off the top of my head, Jason nailed Dick with one in the face in BoC and Bruce got Jason in the neck in UTRH so there's the two characters at odds).

3. Jason/Bruce has never hurt an undeserving person. Jason isn't a mass murderer and you're slandering him. Bruce is the best dad ever you're an idiot for thinking otherwise.

...did you miss the times he tried to kill Tim? Or sprayed Dick with fear gas? Or shot Damian in the chest (not rubber bullets mind you). All of this happened in Battle of the Cowl. He poisoned 82 prisoners indiscriminately in Batman and Robin (2009) #23, went around killing random "thugs" in Brothers in Blood arc of Nightwing. Is it slander if he did it? Idk. If anyone can answer that lmk but everything is canon now so the point is moot.

And let me also say if everythings canon Bruce has also hurt/hit/abused his family (i don't have the specific issue numbers but runs that I've seen bad dad Bruce in are The New Titans, Batgirl (2000), Nightwing (1996), Tom Kings crap, RHATO rebirth, etc. I don't feel like going into detail but if hard pressed i will) don't try to paint me as a Bruce or Jason apologist/hater please

Also literally see the panel above 💀 the mom is an undocumented immigrant from Guatemala with an engineering degree she can't use because the US gov is literally fucking flaming garbage, so she had to take that job to provide for her daughter. Quit thinking extrajudicial murder/vigilantism is a woke take. No. Stop. Bad. Criminals have rights for a reason.

Can you choose to call the above things Jason and Bruce have done ooc and bad writing. Yep. Go ahead, be my guest. Just it's weird to me that ppl always seem to do it for one character and not the other. Like... that's not productive dialogue? And yeah both Jason and Bruce stans do this i just happened to see a post from a Jason stan so he got to be shamed first. If you think i think my fave is wrong, i literally made a post publically shaming him at one point, and wrote an entire fic dedicated to me pointing out why i think characters would hate him the most 🤷‍♀️ if someone read a comic that shows your fave in a bad light don't call them stupid for not liking that character just point them in the right direction and if you don't want to. Don't. Just block them. I'm tired of watching ppl act like their better than each other because they don't consider things canon (unless you stan a minority character and don't consider their racist/sexist writing canon in which case, same, you're the best ppl in this fandom)💀 or referencing fanon as canon and telling ppl to go read more comics 💀

Anyways the takeaways I've come out with are, this debate between the two is more than just morals, they've both wronged each other, and trying to simplify it down into victim and abuser is just - missing nuance and ignoring their full histories in my opinion and kinda just ends up flattening both characters and making both of them less relatable

#this post was brought to you by: I'm tired of seeing dumb takes on my reccomend dash #*screeches into the void* the whole batfam is problamatic it's literally fine #personally my take is jason giving up guns is ooc he's too dramatic for that shit #time to make the stans go brr #here we go have my unsolicited opinions #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #violence #blood #child abuse #negativity

[sapphic-sasuke]

So i was watching those fillers about kakashi’s anbu days and an question came to my mind Why did tachi directly choose to kill the clan instead of trying to warn their parents and/or the uchiha clan first did he think they were too prideful to back down or completely leave the village or maybe he didn’t trust his OWN family

I mean if i was in that kinda of a situation (or heck even in any kinda of situation) the first thing I would’ve done; go to mom dad warn them/ask them what should i do, what should ‘we’ do and cannonically speaking itachi was 13 at the time and fugaku really seemed to be the most reasonable person to go to(while other uchihas were unnecessary being harsh to civilians during taking them into custody fugaku was the one to warn them) so itachi either, A) was kinda of an idiot who didn’t really think things through (wich I don’t think so cause he was supposed to be a genius at the very least a very smart person) or B) he was so arrogant thet he thought (an exceptional 13yo kid A FUCKING CHILD) he might be more suited and experienced! to handle the coup instead of going to his parents and I know ppl say that he got manipulated n stuff but c’mon wasn’t he basically the king of manipulation I don’t understand how he couldn’t thought anything besides killing everyone, wouldn’t taking sasuke and running should’ve been an option to what do you think

Also sorry for the long ass ask and I just realized ur one of my favorite fics authors i hope u update looking for forgiveness soon didn’t read such a good fan fic in a while i like ur writing sm <3

HI!! don’t ever feel sorry for long asks i love reading long stuff . and AHHH WOW thank you so much i do plan to update my fic very soon. the chapters almost done but i had some rly funky writer’s block hope u like it <3

no ur so right anon the way itachi handled the massacre was so strange? and that’s why i like to headcanon that itachi had a really strained relationship with his parents (albeit slightly better with fugaku) where he never came to them with any of his emotions/problems growing up and internalised that until the massacre. i think the second option is more probable. we know he didn’t like most of the clan members and we even see him fighting some. what with all his achievements as a shinobi and his anbu status, itachi seems like the kind of person.

i think taking sasuke and running away would have halted the coup, with the clan heir and second son gone, however i am of the belief that the coup would have been inevitable. maybe due to strained relations or danzo’s machinations, konoha doesn’t help out much with trying to find itachi and sasuke and that increases tensions even further. we know that uchihas love fiercely and it could even lead to the clan more determined to go forward with the coup and then use further resources to find sasuke and itachi. it seems like a short term solution to marginalisation that’s been simmering for decades. it’s a far better alternative to him outright committing genocide however.

maybe itachi did think telling them he was being pressured into killing the clan would have gone badly. he’s very against the coup and has made this clear with his antagonistic actions after shisui’s death. i’m almost certain people in the clan didn’t trust him at all. he was definitely of the belief that more vocal members of the clan would use that as a further incentive to go ahead with the coup, even kill danzo and the elders. (danzo’s root however would be a major obstacle)

i think fugaku would have listened to itachi though. the uchiha coup is one that could be interpreted as a last ditch retaliation from a clan who were shoved to a corner. fugaku clearly loves the village—the coup was intended to be bloodless if it went according to plan. the elders wouldn’t even be aware of it if itachi stayed silent. (but i do think the other clans would not support an uchiha hokage because their reputation worsened after the kyuubi attack) and let’s be real, the elders were insanely corrupt. (but I am of the belief the corruption is only possible because of the shinobi system in place but then that’s a whoooole other topic) itachi’s spy status already puts him as a traitor to the clan which would be a huge betrayal for fugaku who believed in itachi when others didn’t. itachi would be disgraced by his people for even being considered as someone who would be asked to kill them, you know? in that sense, itachi must have seen everything as a lose-lose scenario and went with the option that wouldn’t hinder konoha that much and as such the “peace”

leaving the village is an interesting option. i feel like unless the uchiha clan find a secure place to hide (they do have those hideouts) that ultimately konoha is the safest bet for them at the moment but the possibility of even konoha being unsafe is very real with the threat of danzo. the fact that the elders even considered genocide shows the uchiha’s standing in konoha. hidden villages must have loads of safety measures in place to stop shit like kidnappings for bloodline limits (hinata’s kidnapping attempt was only possible to happen because of the treaty being signed) and state secrets, that i’m sure the uchiha clan have. in short, the uchiha are way too intergreted into the village’s foundations to simply leave without repercussions. it’s interesting because they aren’t actually intergreted into the village at all. i’m sure they don’t know that many actual secrets about the village. they aren’t trusted—tobirama mentions this. but if they ever decided to turn against konoha or join another village their insight into how konoha shinobi and clans work as previous comrades would be invaluable. essentially, the only way for the uchiha clan to survive if they decide to leave would be to go into hiding, really insane crazy genjutsu hiding (which i believe is possible with such a strong clan) in that case, then Yes, the uchiha clan leaving would work. but i think itachi’s of the belief that uchiha pride would prevent them from ever considering hiding. so i’m more inclined to agree with the second option B

the genocide just doesn’t fit with a child who supposedly loves his clan. you don’t kill a clan you love for the village. moral standing aside, solving peace with violence isn’t peace. how can he call himself a pacifist but then have so much faith in the system he’s willing to kill his own people for it? i’s stupidity. there’s so many inconsistencies to itachi’s character because if he really did all of this for sasuke then why torture him? that’s unnecessary mental damage. he could invoke hatred without torture. he’s stated to have the wisdom of a kage at 7 but then makes really stupid decisions that don’t fit in with his whole master manipulator like you mentioned. with all of this ive just come to the conclusion that itachi was probably originally intended to be an antagonist but shit Happened like a popularity jump or smth and suddenly the narrative’s calling him a hero lmao, way to go against the original anti establishment themes from part 1 naruto kishi u bum

this got long really fast omg im sorry? but i hope my insight helped in some way? (or not i tend to ramble a Looooot) anyways ty for the ask i could honestly talk about the uchiha clan all day

#asks #uchiha clan #analysis? #naruto analysis #uchiha clan deserved better #guys feel free to join the discussion my asks are open #this topic is actually quite interesting

[catzula]

Request: Hello hello! Do you mind if I request something for the drabble event? With either dabi or fyodor cause I'm indecisive sooo surprise me? Sorry.

I like to paint my nails while watching tv, so it always comes out bad.

I'm laid-back and also pretty good at reading ppl soo if you dont mind! And thank you ^^

a/n: I loved this lmao I just love dabi a tad too much and the ask was really fun shdjsj but i FORGOT the second part of the ask I'm so sorry

honorable mentions: @komoodo baby, thank you for sending in an ask!

Also fluff, wc < 800, one cursing, mentions of Bakugou's kidnapping

"New meat!" The door gets kicked open, your boyfriend standing in the doorway with the angstiest looking teen in his grip. Well, after he himself, of course.

Dabi looks energetic, you soon notice. It's not often you see him with such a big smile, eyes twinkling with some form of amusement. The fight must've been fun.

The room is dimly litten, most of the light sources being the tv you're browsing and Toga's game console. "Hello," you mutter at the boy as the rest attempt to tie him down on the chair, but his struggling and muffled screams aren't giving them an easy time.

Already used to the scene, you just turn the volume of the tv up, sending occasional glances to your boyfriend and the blonde. When they're finally able to chain him down, Dabi sends one half-amused, half-annoyed look at the boy, leaving them to be as Toga and Shigaraki take over.

"That certainly took a minute." You tease the man, getting an annoyed click of a tongue in answer. "Try doing it yourself next time, and then you get to talk."

"How was the-" He plops down on the couch next to you, uncharacteristically close, resting his head on your shoulder when you flinch and shove him away.

"What-"

"Oh my god, you stink, Dabi!" You tell him, nose crinkled and eyes shut with the unbearable smell of smoke, ash, sweat, and blood. "Go take a shower before I pass out."

"Wow," he mutters, pulling you in a tight hug and holding you there despite your wails. "Apparently unconditional love comes only halfway."

When he thinks you've had enough punishment -for pushing him away, of course- he finally lets you go, his shit-eating grin resting on his lips as he watches you cough.

"Wash yourself at least twice!" You shout after him as he whistles his way to the shower.

~

"Hey, kiddo." Dabi enters the room half an hour later, his dark grey, worn-out shirt slightly damp with water dripping from his hair. He notices how the blond is asleep on the chair he's tied to; he must be tired after all that screaming and struggling.

His eyes quickly fall back on you, and there's a heavy smell lingering on the air, but you're not looking at him, eyes trained on the tv screen, instead. "He's asleep."

"I know." You comment as you feel your boyfriend walking towards you, his spiky hair now slicked back and wet. Dabi grins when he hears you gulp, but you turn your eyes away too quick for his liking. "Hey, are you- hey!"

"What?"

"I specifically told you not to put nail polish when you watch shit." He growls, and you know both of you are remembering the same incident from last time. There's still a big splotch of baby blue on the red couch to remind you, anyway.

"I know," you whine, emphasizing the 'o', "but it gets boring when I don't."

"It gets more boring when you do." He mutters with annoyance, grabbing your newly done hand and inspecting it. "You always mess it up and then work hours on it, trying to make them look decent, and you always end up removing them all in the end."

"And?"

You know you're pushing him at this point. The truth is, you're touched he even paid attention that much to you- and you're sure the fuck not going to show that to him.

"Brat." You hear him mutter under his breath, but you can't even think of a comeback since you're watching him mouth agape as he pulls your hand between his, instead. "Look how messy it is. I know you're gonna nag me whole day."

You can't even make a sound but smile idiotically as he starts softly nailing around your nails, cleaning the mess you've made.

"What?" He says gruffly, and you chuckle. "Nothing."

"Ungrateful brat." He rephrases his earlier insult, jabbing on your nail a little harshly now.

"Hey, ow?"

"Shut up," he mutters, eyes never once leaving your freshly painted nails. "I'm concentrating cause you wouldn't."

Dabi is a complex man.

One who sees intimacy as being vulnerable, one that can't say he loves someone, one who can't even tell his feelings in any way, but anger.

You know that makes him even more anxious, anxious of you thinking he doesn't love you, but it's always these little things he does that make you even more sure that he does.

"Shut your mouth, you're drooling." A voice speaks, and surprisingly, it's not Dabi, even though it is something he would say.

No, it's the newly captured boy, now awake from his deep slumber and looking at you with disgust swimming in his blood-red eyes. "Boy's got a point." Dabi grins, raising his head from your hand.

"Shut up." You push his forehead with your index finger, making him laugh. "Make me." He mutters lowly, eyes locking to yours in a way that can never be something good. He leans forward, tipping your head to his, lips about to close on yours and-

"For fucks sake, get a room!"

#bnha x reader #bnha scenarios #mha x reader #bnha x you #mha imagines #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #dabi x self insert #dabi x reader #dabi fanfic #mha dabi #bnha dabi #mha x y/n #mha x you #mha headcanons #bnha x y/n

[cassthecringe]

Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

#THIS IS SO MESSY IM SORRY I DIDNT PROOFREAD ANYTHING #uhm but yeah these guys. drive me nuts! #jjba #jojo spoilers #nothing too heavy but just in case #cass cries #iwannagrill

[m143ui]

A MESSAGE TO THE PJO FANDOM

so hello friends on the other side

I understand some of the major concerns regarding characters like piper and the feather and hazels description but when you bring Leo and Reyna into the fucking conversation I have lost all respect.

ANYONE CAN BE ABUSED, ETHNICITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT

LATINO CHARACTERS

Reyna is not a negative stereotype, she isn't defined by being latina and neither is Leo, he isn't a stereotype simply because he’s latino and was abused. also him being called an elf was because he was short, which had nothing to do with him being latino. also the mamacita comment like y'all hide under the label “progressive” but ignore that mamacita has been a thing in Latin American communities for a fucking while. its not an insult dammit. its something that happens in our communities!!! its like saying muchacho y'all don't see men bitching about that.

also shocker I read the mamacita comment and I can proudly say I didn't go

“RICK YOU RACIST BITCH”

things that actually happen in communities aren't racist

and before any of y'all come at me with the usual you’re white excuse, hello friends im Peruvian and Paraguayan.

I don't think he’s perfect but bitching about characters like Leo which gave many of my Latin American friends hope for similar characters destroys your “listening to minorities” argument

also the lol “hes Mexican taco bad” argument like I live in Mexico we eat tacos like every fucking day. its literally a fact. and Leo isn't just defined as taco man.

believe it or not us latinos respect rick because he gave us role models and characters like us. we don't define a character by one line and instantly call discrimination. like yes a asian character can be snobby it has nothing to do with ethnicity. y'all are making this about ethnicity. an asian character can be anything, just like a white character or a black character or a gay character. people are not simply defined by their labels like ya’ll think. y'all are just a bunch of easily triggered snowflakes that can't live with that. they can be influenced but in the end labels are labels we are all human and should be treated as such.

LGBT REPRESENTATION

another thing Reyna was never officially a lesbian that was YOUR interpretation not riordans. IF HE DIDNT STATE IT , SORRY HONEY IT ISN’T CANON! I don't care about how she was “lesbian coded” if he didn't state it it isn't canon. 

I am so sick, as a lesbian, to see people use ALL QUEER DEATHS as a bury your gay tropes, what happened to seeing us as humans? why can't we be treated like any other character? if we die we die, it isn't always “haha gay evil boom death”. sometimes fully fledged characters have to die friends.

Nico isn't a bad gay character, he’s just a normal character who happens to be gay and has suffered major trauma. HIS TRAUMA WAS CAUSED BY HIS UPBRINGING, Nico isn't a 2000′s character, he’s from the 30′s, so obviously he woudn’t be perfect with his sexuality for gods sake it was the 30′s. the exact same thing happens with hazel, she isn't a modern black woman, she's a 30′s black woman. Nico’s coming out isn't him as a 21st century teen its from the time when the GOVERNMENT KILLED YOU FOR BEING GAY

also saying there are no lesbian characters? like wow look emmie and jo don't exist. Lavinia doesn't exist. poison doesn't exist. thanks fam you really make yourselves look smart here. simply because rick never said the word gay doesn't mean the gay characters don't exist friends. they are just labeled as what gay characters should be labeled as.... human.

LESBOPHOBIA & RACISM

im not educated in muslim or black culture so I won't mention characters like sam and hazel and piper because I respect and I am highly critical of what rick put in his books to describe these specific minorities.

HOWEVER saying rick is a lesbophobe, a homophobe, a racist a sexist cis guy is like do y’all wanna be taken seriously? use arguments don't hide behind words.

rick isn't a perfect writer but y'all really don't know how to criticise, y'all just hide behind big boy words and back it up with no evidence, just opinions.

rick doesn’t have the best minority rep out there but he is damn well trying and I respect that unlike all you fucking idiots.

SHIPS

now onto ships.... yay

frazel: im not gonna censor it like you pussies, believe it or not 13&16 year old relationships exist. they might not always be healthy but they exist. to deny this is to be stupid

solangelo:  another ship that is censored..the main argument I've seen is that it isn't developed and will isn't even a character... he was in last olympian and lost hero not my fault y'all have fish brains. I don't care if you dislike it but don't be like “ANYONE WHO SHIPS THIS IS AN ABUSIVE WHORE” like wow you always preach about accepting all ships and then throw this? also if you hate solangelo because of the “abuse” but ship percico like hi friends Nico is 4 years younger than Percy.. if y'all hate frazel because of the 3 year age difference y'all should hate this too.

CONCLUSIONS AND SHIT

not every character minority or otherwise is gonna be the way you want them to be, believe it or not any character can be anything, black characters can be loud, white characters can be loud. if they're only loud because “haha black” then THATS an issue not the simple existence of a loud black woman who has a loud personality.

y'all be here bitching about drew and I've never heard the asian perspective of this? just a bunch of black and white people telling asians they should be offended. was that just an uno reverse?

also last point stereotypes aren't always a negative thing and y'all need to get that in your heads.

anyway stay mad hoes <3

from a sane Peruvian <3

EDIT

I saw this beauty and had to comment on it

“having LGBT characters experience abuse and violence. nicos forceful outing rubs me the wrong way, especially because hes called a coward for being in the closet. its violent and kind of disturbing to make your gay character come out of the closet by force. maybe write better. additionally, alex's abusive father and subsequent homelessness because of her being trans is badly written.”

oh noooo gay characters can't deal with homophobia anymore ! like I can tell you have never been punched for being gay. is it bad to showcase how trans and gay ppl are 40% of homeless youth? or is even mentioning that discrimination? believe it or not some of us live in countries where people try to kill us. you have an advantage and it shows. about the coward thing... 

was FUCKING CUPID A GOOD CHARACTER? NO? I REST MY CASE. CUPID IS NOT SEEN AS A GOOD PERSON THEREFORE HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON GET THAT IN YOUR THICK SKULLS.

 YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS LGBT FOLKS DONT GET FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET 

#NEVER HAPPENS IN REALITY. 

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERENT FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET DOESNT MEAN OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THAT SAME LUXURY. 

maybe stop spewing bullshit <3

(so I get that this scene can remind people of being outed and it can hurt them however this scene was never intended to be a good thing it literally says Nico is scared of facing his emotions)

EDIT NUMBER 2

oh boy rick really pissed off the snowflakes that I share a fandom with

“give Nico to the gays” no? he would be a femboy and they would yeet his trauma like ssrsly?

also hate rick? bitch no one is forcing you to read his tweets.

death of the author is such a toxic thing like the mans is alive boo he aint going nowhere..like What the fuck 

EDIT NUMBER 3

anyway final thoughts on this :

nico insn’t Uwu gay and its an insult to his character

Reyna is not a lesbian canonically (neither is Thalia)

Leo and Reyna are not racist

none of ricks characters are  written as insults to their communities

and if I see one more “but ....phobia/ ...ism I will do very illegal things

peace lol

RICK RIORDAN UPDATE:

congratulations rick antis! you have successfully harassed a  56 year old man into leaving social media! wow so progressive!!!! this totally won't backfire or anything!!!

all jokes aside all of you who harassed rick to the point of someone else taking over his social media should feel ashamed

#anti rick riordan #uncle rick #rick riordan #percico #solangelo #frazel #rick riordan criticism #rick riordan critical #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #house of hades #caleo #anti caleo #riordan critical #riordanverse #antis please interact #I wanna see if anyone can counter my arguments #quarantine has been boring #things I've learned about the anti riordans is that they are spineless little wokeskolds #pipabeth #percy jackson #discourse

[kewltie]

omfgggg pregnant!deku. imagine where no. 1 hero is not only an omega but is pregnant and it's still early in his first trimester so he's running around kicking ass but IT'S DEKU so ppl frets and worry over his safety that even villains r like uh i dont wanna mess w/ that. deku is like ridiculously popular & well like even among criminal bc he believes in 2nd chances & rehab of the criminals/villains & fight for disenfranchised youths who fell on the wrong side of the track. so yea, they fight against him but they're also kinda soft for him!!!

so when they found out their fav hero is pregnant & still patrolling there's like some super-secret nonverbal agree among them that they won't stop doing what they are doing but like,,,, nobody fucking touch deku ok or you'll deader than dead. which is ALL KIND OF HILARIOUS bc deku coming to a bank robbery & the criminals doesnt stop their crime but when they fight him, they're like super careful w/ him making sure he doesn't get knock back, fall, or hurt himself too much.

when deku finally captured them and as they're about to taken away, they happily congratulated him on his pregnancy & ask if he'd thought of names yet & one of them is like, "oh, when my husband was pregnant eating X & Y really help with the nausea." and izuku is like,,, thanks???

there's like so many ppl invested in deku's pregnancy that it bizarre bc he's not the first or the last omega to ever be pregnant but he's deku, prohero, no.1 rank, and symbol of hope. all that means is there's a hyper fixation on everything about him esp now that he's pregnant. talk shows, news channel, & celeb gossip show are all talking about it one way or another. whether he's should take an early leave of work or not bc of the danger of his job, the baby's sex, his pregnancy craving, bump watch (I KNOW), & even a countdown to his due date.

the entire country is in a baby fever just bc of deku. everybody talk obsessively about it & even if you find that one person who does not care they def know someone who does. all this happen while deku just go about his day like all of Japan isnt watching his every move lol. the strangest thing about deku's pregnancy is that there's no sign of the other parent?? deku isnt even dating anyone. he never mention any alpha AT ALL, only declaring that he plans to raise his baby all by himself as a single parent which blew their fucking mind bc wtfffff.

look, deku is the most famous omega around, sitting high atop of the world as the no. 1 hero & is adore by the mass--he's greatest omega of his generation some would say so yea there's lot of expectation & hope place on him but deku is deku & he does what he wants. ppl speculate that maybe he's pregnant bc he had a one night stand and this was accident, maybe he has been in a secret relationship all this time, maybe this baby was from a spurned lover or WORST yet a produce of rape... LIKE there's so many rumor swirling around but the answer is actually v v v simple. deku has always wanted a child and since he's nearing 30 right now, he thought it's hightime he has one and the other father? JUST A DONOR. it's nothing serious or complicated as ppl imagine to be.

deku wants a kid and now he has one!! but ppl just can't comprehend how it could be that simple when the most notoble omega in all of japan decide he wants a kid W/O having a mate and he's going to raise this baby all by himself and nope he's not even going to quit his job at ALL to have a family. deku is just--blowing their mind lol

the world doesn't so much get over it as they just kinda get dragged along bc deku does not give a single fuck wut other think and proceed to be immersed in his pregnancy and try to survive the next 6 months while everyone waited on bated breath to see what deku does next. the only thing that stick is the constant rumor mill of who is the donor of deku's baby. they assume that deku wouldn't just pick a stranger bc he's sentimental like that so speculations run amok about every alpha that is closely associate with deku.

there are public polls, betting rings w/ billions on the line, televised debates, internet flame wars, and ACTUAL ARGUMENTS B/T FAMILY/FRIENDS/COWORKERS on who the fuck is deku's donor! even more than deku's baby, they're fucking obsessed on finding out who is the actual donor. the thing is it's not THAT big of a secret. all of class A are in the loop, his mom know (ofc), and even his agency but they all managed to keep it a secret bc deku's privacy is the utmost important & beside the other father would literally MURDER them if it ever get expose.

this is how it went: bullied by his pr team, deku went on a variety show where they have to babysit kids & put through various childbearing challenge while cameras record them for entertainment purpose. It's there when deku realized "ah, I WANT THIS. I WANT THIS V BADLY." deku is climbing close to his 30 now, he's well established presence in the hero world, and his life is pretty stable so it's high time he have his own little family but the thing is babies are two ppl business. they don't just come from thin air so deku did the next best thing.

katsuki would like to say he didn't see this coming the same way you would not expect to be attack by a shark on land, but in this case deku is that fucking shark & katsuki is the idiot that get completley blindsided by him when deku cornered him one day and asked for his sperm.

ok, bakudeku aint dating. they have deep & complicated history that is not only confusing o everybody else but also confusing to them. 'friend' would be to light of a word but anything else is left undefined bc how do you explain more than 2 decades of w/e they are to each other. katsuki doesn't want to talk about the amount of time he'd used image of deku to get off while in rut just so he can survive through it, while the next few days trying to resist punching deku in the face bc he act like a sacrificial idiot who got a cross he wants to bear.

it's not 100% healthy his therapist unhelpfully pointed out but the core of all his volatile feelings have always been named deku & katsuki doesn't know how to compartmentalize it properly bc katsuki may have squashed to something small & insignificant but it's heavy & permanent. so when deku laid his fucked up request at katsuki's feet, he broke the table they were using and nearly walked out if deku didn't catch him by the arm in time.

"kacchan, pls here me out first," deku begged of him, his sweet permeating the air; he's NOT PLAYING FAIR AT ALL. whoever said alphas are the dominate sex in the world have never met an omega, a determine goal focus omega with babies on the brain like deku.

"kacchan, recently i realized that im only getting older so i want a child when i still can," deku explained. "so won't you help me? i know settling down right now is the farthest thing from your mind, but im not asking you anything like that," he continued as katsuki quietly fumed in the background. "i just want your help in making this selfish wish of mine come true. you're among my top choices, kacchan."

Katsuki jerked up. "wait, you mean to say there's a fucking list of alphas you plan to extort their sperm from?" he seethed, feeling like deku had took a goddamn knife to his pride and butcher it completely. "how many other ppl have you asked before you even came to me?!"

"im not extorting anything from anyone." Deku frowned. "and, well, you always lectured me about diving head first w/o any backup plans," he pointed out, "so i made sure to leave several options open just in case the first one fell through. see? i did thought this one thru."

katsuki nearly broke another piece of furniture at the thought of deku asking someone else to father his child as though he was just another face in a long list of ppl deku could use. "What did every alpha on ur shitty list rejected u already so now have to come to me for help?"

deku, who was no.1 for a reason, narrowed his eyes and the air crackled around them. "kacchan, this is extremely important to me so i wouldnt just chose anyone. i only know a handful of alphas i can trust and someone im happy to share the other half of my child with. you're the 1st person that came to my mind when i thought about a child growing inside of me," he said, wrapping his arm around his flat tummy. "despite our many differences you're the one i admire the most. your strength & ambition, grounded by your strong drive & work ethics. the fact that you got where you are w/ your own hands & wits to guide you, i think you're just amazing. so how could i not want those kind of qualities for my own child," deku explained. "im sure a child born from half of your genes you will shine just brightly as you do."

katsuki felt so taken back that found his tongue heavy and words were escaping him. on one hand he felt a rush of pride and a strange sensation of happiness that deku had specifically chosen him out of his potential candidates bc of the greatness he had seem in katsuki but he'd also narrowed katsuki out not bc of some sentimental bullshit or lingering feelings but he thought of providing his future child with the best gene pool as possible so his child can flourish. it's a damn ego busting for katsuki but deku was clearly a man on a mission.

katsuki hesitated and thought what it would mean to have a child out there who carry a lil part of him in them; it's unnerving and humbling at the same time. he never thought of it himself but deku had dream of this, wanted this so badly enough to beg katsuki for help.

"alright," he said finally, not knowing exactly what compelled him to agree, but the look of utter happiness spreading across deku's face as he can barely contain his joy. a single word from him had caused deku's word to shift and rearranged itself to make room for another life.

and that's how katsuki got con into helping izuku make a baby lol. but, really katsuki was the one who agreed to it out of his own will bc he's an idiot & also terribly whipped; omegas are the ones ppl should be frighten of bc once they make up their mind it's hard to move them. they're an unstoppable force, something to be reckon w/ esp when that omega is the no.1 hero who fought his way to the top of the rankings and maintain that status quo for many years despite how many times katsuki tried to topple him from that perch LOL.

katsuki already lost the war before he'd even put a foot down on battlefront the moment deku'd opened his mouth & demanded his sperm AND HE KNEW IT TOO. so that was how katsuki found himself preparing to empty his balls in front of a two-way mirror in a mating clinic bc of deku. omegas, esp males, are the most fertile when they're in heat & when an alpha go in a rut, but the both of them have this arrangment that's more of a duty than any feelings involve bc they cant risk getting mix up in the hormones. this is for deku & his future child!!! so the clinic had prepared a large room w/ two way dividing mirrors& open air vents circulating b/t the two rooms so they can breathe in each other scene where deku can have his heat on one side and katsuki can watch BUT NOT TOUCH and get his rut on so he can produce sperm.

it's uh, not supposed to be v sexy since it's all clinical & shit but bakudeku being bakudeku they nearly tear the room apart to get to each other in heat/rut madnes. deku had blushed earlier as he asked to be bind with quirk restrictions cuff just in case he go crazy which HE DID. at first the nurses there was more worry about katsuki going crazy and out of control bc he has been known to fall pretty high on the alpha aggression and they fear it would be katsuki who would be dangerous; BUT NOPE it's deku all all along who almost broke the REINFORCED MIRROR just so he can get to katsuki!!!! DEKU WHO PPL SOMETIMES FORGET IS LIKE THE NO. 1 HERO FOR A REASON. soft and sweet deku who single handedly can fuck you up with just his fingers if he want to. he's an omega on a mission and he wants that knot up his ass AND HE WANTS IT NOW.

the nurses & docs have to use everything in their toolkit to pull bakudeku apart. when it's all said and done, katsuki embarrassingly produce buckets of cum enough to last deku a looooooong long time if the first one didn't take lol while deku couldn't look at katsuki in the eyes. they are both horridly embarrass about their 'not mating' and their action toward each other there even though they never actually touch each other through out the whole heat/rut procedure. despite the fact that they DIDN'T HAVE ANY SEX, it was still the hottest exp for both.

katsuki never seen more more feral and fierce omega who nearly broke the entire room just to get to him, in that moment if katsuki wasn't in love already he would have been half way there and izuku didn't expect KATSUKI AT ALL. the way he had handle izuku was completely diff. in izuku's heat fever, katsuki was the lone anchor who'd provided him grounding. he tried to calm deku down from his ramp up hormones even though he was as clearly affected as deku. forceful but not unforgiving, commanding not unyielding, firm but gentle.

it was electric.

it was as though izuku was a wild animal unleashed and katsuki managed to tamed him and he never had even had to raise a single finger to do it. it was all in his words that cut through izuku's hazy feverish wants and desires. the kind of alpha that made deku's knees weak.

after that, they have wordless mutual agreement to never talk about it. deku got the sperms he wanted and katsuki had finally fullfiedd his obligation and isn't responsible for deku or his future child. HE'S DONE. they dont have anything to do w/ each other anymore. RIGHT??? ha.

it's funny bc izuku had his hope on a child but didn't think it would take so soon! he'd thought he would fail a few times first before he get really lucky w/ conception bc of his age now that he's older, this 'psuedo mating' can't replace real mating, & biology is fucking weird. even the fertility doc couldn't promise this procedure to insert bkg's sperm in him when he's still got in a heat fever will work 100% and if they fail, they have to wait for another HEAT to come before it could work. which mean months of waiting in b/t so izuku is desperate. BUT it took one try. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK as izuku anxiously waited for the news in next couple of weeks. he took at home pregnacy tests and when hall 3 results were positive he'd cried and called his mom but even then he didn't tell anyone bc he was so scare it just was a fluke.

he'd kept this secret until he finally got the visit to his doc and could get the firm confirmation he needed! when the doc revealed that he was indeed pregnant, izuku fell to his knees in relief bc finally, FINALLY, his dream of having a baby had came true. he's a father now!!

the doc had warned that the first trimester would be rough on him bc of his age and miscarriage is more likely for him than most male omega. maybe he should consider taking an early pregnacy leave bc of the danger his job poses to him & the unborn baby. deku had agonized over it. ultimately, he decided to continue w/ his hero work but won't take on as much stuff as before. he plans to be more careful & attentive to his safety, and defer his more dangerous work to his colleagues instead. all his friends and coworkers go out of their way to help him w/ this

izuku got an entire community of heroes WHO DO THEIR BEST TO ENSURE HIS PREGNACY GO SMOOTHLY bc look izuku may be doing this alone but HE'S NOT ACTUALLY ALONE bc he got his friends, colleagues, and mom to support him through this bc they know how much this means to him!!

katsuki was one of the last to find out but only bc deku plan to see him in person to tell him bc katsuki HAD GIVEN HIM ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS (beside OFA) and he wanted to thank katsuki in person but class A are a bunch of gossip mongers so he found out through their groupchat. it started as a joke about katsuki & his super seed bc what a fucking stud bakugou katsuki to have ONE TRY and is able to knocked izuku up so quickly lmao. w/e the fuck katsuki is doing or eating, apparently it works wonder for him bc one of his sperm luck out & hit jackpot. his so called friends cant stop ribbing into him for knocking up deku so quickly bc they know from deku's worry that it wasn't going to be an easy conception but IT'S BAKUGOU KATSKUKI, outdoing himself once more bc he never does anything by half, not even his own sperm lol.

izuku met up with katsuki right outside his agency bc he knew wassup and how to corner katsuki effectively by trapping him when he just high off his patrol when he least expect an ambush esp when he was too busy avoiding izuku's attempts to reach him bc of COMPLICATED FEELS.

it's not cowardice that kept katsuki away, but izuku was the source of all his confusing feelings already & now w/ the news that he's carrying katsuki's child now it'd gotten worst. izuku, though, was nothing if not persistent. he zeroed in katsuki right away w/ purposeful steps.

"kacchan, i'm so glad to meet you here," izuku says as though he hadn't coordinate this w/ katsuki's coworkers, who are all SOFT for izuku anyway lmao, to get katsuki alone JUST LIKE THIS. katsuki knew he was caught bc every one his friends & colleagues are FUCKING TRAITORS.

"what," he snapped, clenching the hands at his side as he tried to keep his gaze from izuku's still very flat tummy. it's weird to think a life was quickly taking shape there when it's not like izuku looked any diff but he smiling more brightly & warmth coming from his person. was this what they call the pregnancy glow? bc deku was fucking blinding that katsuki wanted to shove his hand to deku's face to block it out.

"what you want," he demanded again even tho they both know why deku was here.

unperturbed, deku smiled. "im pregnant now so thank you. you'd helped fulfilled one of my biggest dreams & im ever so grateful for it!" he continued, rocking happily back & forth on his heels but the words barely registered katsuki kept staring at the way deku's body swing out & he opened his mouth before he could think better of it.

"should you be even moving liek that ?" he asked BC SINCE FINDING OUT IZUKU IS PREGNANT HE LOST HIS MIND. as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was a dead man walking.

izuku leveled him a glare so fierce that he actually took a step back w/ chills running up his back. "kacchan i may be pregnant but im not an invalid," izuku said with the sharp edge of a smile and thinly veiled steel in his voice. the scariest part was that he hadn't drop a single smile but the ominous threas was there. "do you want me to show you how much of not invalid i am?"

katsuki scowled, face pinching at the thought whether this was just the usual deku's bs or this was deku's bs + the pregnancy hormones that get him so rile up. either way, katsuki no matter how much of an ass he was, he wasn't going to punch a pregnant omega to prove a point.

"fine, that was dumb sorry," he said, scratching the back of his ear in annoyance. "so was that all you wanted to say?"

deku's eyes crinkle in amusement as katsuki's scowl deepens. "yea, i just wanted you to hear the news from me personally and expressed my thanks."

"i'll take good care of them," he said softly, a stray hand caressing his stomach carefully. "I promise i'll be good to them so you dont have to worry."

katsuki paused and then, "I know," he said bc he does. deku was going to be a good parent w/o a doubt. That is a truth.

deku's eyes light up at katsuki's words and there was a hint of wetness in them that katsuki had the unnerving fear that he was going to cry right here and katsuki's entire agency going to charge out & murder him for making a pregnant omega, THE PREGNANT OMEGA DEKU cry in public.

"t-thank you," he sniffs, but THANKFULLY NO ACTUAL CRYING INVOLE, "it makes me so happy to hear that you in believe me. i won't fail you, i swear!" he said it like he was making a vow for world peace or some shit bc of how serious it had sounded but this was important to him.

"yea, okay," katsuki said, looking away bc got this entire conversation was agonizing bc here he was talking to the person, but not JUST ANY RANDOM PERSON, who is carrying a baby w/ half of katsuki's dna & they're not fucking each other. like,,, that's fucking weird okay.

"that's all i wanted to say," deku told him, fully aware how uncomfortable this talk was making him, "so I won't bother you anymore." he gave one last smile and turned to go but KATSUKI WHO SHOULD HAVE LET IT END THERE found himself opening his mouth and grabbing deku by the arm.

it was careful, a firm but gentle hand placed his forearm like deku was glass that stopped him for a moment. "if--if," katsuki said, swallowing around a stone in his throat, "you find yourself needing anything, call me ok? ANYTHING i dont care just call me and i'll be there."

a slow but the brightest fucking smile he had ever seen bloom on deku's flushed face. "ok, i'll let you know," he replied, bc this was KATSUKI PUTING HIMSELF OUT THERE AND WANTING TO GET INVOLVE IN IZUKU'S PREGNACY even tho deku had given him a clean break from it. HE CHOSE THIS.

katsuki doesn't know what he was thinking then but the words slipped passed his guard before he can stop it & now he fucking doomed himself, doom himself to 3am late night calls of deku crying in hysteric at his home bc he ran out of some rare hard to find fruit bc CRAVINGS. so now katsuki had to dragged himself all the way across town to hunt for this shit. the morning news of that day was hero ground zero harrassing shopkeeper in the FUCKING ASS'S OCLOCK FOR SOME FRUIT AND DEMANDING IT NOW FOR W/E REASON, WHILE LOOKING SO FURIOUS & UNHINGED.

look, it's not like deku doesn't have an entire network of ppl to reach out to if he ever needed anything bc they would even laid down their life for him but even when he's cursing a storm trying to get deku's his midnight craving, he's so relief it's him that deku called first. besides, he firmly knew wut he had signed up for the moment he had opened his mouth. offering is help in the pregnancy process was him choosing to get involve and commit to deku & his (god fucking damn shit, he can't think of it as *theirs* bc that's too dangerous) baby. and bc this is bakugou katsuki and he never does any by halves so even though he may have been reluctant at first but now that he's firmly on board he's going in full throttle w/ no break in sight. katsuki dumps all his $$ on pregnacy & prenatal care books.

he read papers, argued on pregnancy forum, & even harassed his parents on it just so he can come at this like a fucking boss bc while he has full faith in deku to put the safety of the fetus first but also HE DOESN'T FUCKING TRUST DEKU TO PUT HIMSELF FIRST which is just as import. deku has the self-preservation  of a damn child & he can't expect a *child* to take care of himself so KATSUKI OBVIOUSLY GOT TO DO IT FOR HIM. so he make diet plans, prepare prep meals for deku ahead of them, annoyed deku's coworkers to watch out for him lest he does something stupid. he make it his firm mission that this pregnancy will go smoothly as possible so even when he's running errands for deku, getting his weird ass food craving, and taking deku to visit his ob-gyn, sitting in the waiting room anxiously for any news in case SOMETHING GO WRONG.

He even drives himself crazy learning about the things a pregnant person can't do/is at risk of doing & he doesn't know how anyone can fucking take this for 10 months bc it's like walking on a precarious tight rope. it's scary & humbling and he just want deku & the baby to be ok.

there are still crimes and villains to wrangle, and the world keeps on spinning; nothing really change all that much now that deku's pregnant but katsuki finds himself personally accolating his precious time and energy toward deku & the baby. he became one of those *PEOPLE*, ugh. he never got it even when his friends had popped out spawns of their own. he wasn't going to get dragged down by biology & all that general bullshit about settling down. he's at the top of his game & prize to take over deku's position as no.1. he got no time for playing family.

yet here he is standing in the middle of a fucking baby store, staring down a damn baby crib and having a melt down. who the fuck knew that baby cribs come in so many fucking versions and THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OF THEM. he thought he had come prepare but no this was toughs shit. he only saw this store in passing while on a patrol & thought he should drop by but the next thing he knew he got trapped here for three fucking hours just looking at baby cribs. he already got several people walking passed him, eyeing him weirdly as he internally freak out.

there are ridiculous amount of info floating on the internet about crib buying guide like the bars could only be certain inches apart, non-toxic paints, diff kind of mattress, safe headboards, etc etc. all of that to ensure the baby doesn't fucking DIE bc babies are like FRAGILE.

he calls deku & as soon as he picks up, the first thing katsuki says is, "last year, there were 1,842 babies death due to sudden infant death syndrome."

a long pointed pause, and then, "oh geez," deku answers, "where are you? I'll be right there, okay? don't go anywhere!"

#bakudeku #not!fic #sperm donor au

[catbotbrian-archive]

PLEASE tell us about scenepunk partyghoul

you do not know what you have askd for. i have so many thoughts. you are getting an entire not!fic/fic outline here (also its 4am prepare fr typos this took so long to write my wrists hurt)(also put it under a cut bc it got LONG)

so basically it started with me Hating the pastelxpunk trope and making it Better. that is not important context but i also want it to be known

party is. Obnoxiously scene. they can and will pretend it is still 2007. the world past 2012 does not exist in their eyes. absolute king of kandi bracelets and neons you WILL get a headache from looking at them. they are the reason their school changed the rules about what hairstyles arent allowed and they r proud. did i mention this is sorta hs au. anyway they end up goig 2 a lot of local shows bc when it comes 2 alt music you cannot pick and choose in a relatively small city. reminder they are WILDLY scene they CAN and WILL glow in the dark from the amount of glow sticks they wear

ghoul is PUNK. and i mean he is properly PUNK he has the aesthetic the mindset the music. all r nothin baybe! and also. Doesnt like scene kids. bc headache inducing. he always has a shitton of patches on everything and makes most of them himself r they were gifts and like. hngh i just think he is Neat. patches nd denim jackets and doc martens that are falling apart nearly. so hes from the Big City and jus moved 2 party/kobra/jets town (they r childhood frendz) at the start o summer (YES TIMING IS IMPORTANT U WILL SEE) and is getting in2 the local alt scene.

and at one of these super cool shows he sees party poison fr the first time and is. Woah. theyre BRIGHT. and party is like used 2 ppl staring bc theyre the only super scene kid around but GOD, that guy doesnt seem 2 b staring in the GOOD way bc ghoul is fucking blind but refuses 2 wear glasses and cannot see anything other than Neon Blur (i am projecting here. also thats a cool kj name) but he KNOWS thats a scne kid so hes glaring bc this is a misfits cover band Why Are You Here kinda thing i guess? and partys all “whats up with you, fucker?” bc theyre defensive and impulsive and ghoul flat out punches them (he swears he was aiming fr their shoulder. but he also couldnt see very well. so he hit their face) and they end up getting thrown out fr fighting and they hate each other now.

and then. one day. kobra jet and party are all chillin sewhwere public. and party goes off probably to claires bc theres a sale and they Need more gloves and when they come back That Kid from the show is there???? talking to kobra and jet???? and party is like “kobes wht rh FUCK???????” and koba nd jet r just like. uhm. s this is fun ghoul? the guy? we told you about him? and party is like OU DIDNT SAY HE WAS DOUCHEBAG PUNK GUY!!!!!! and ghoul is like gay panicking bc they can actually See party now and Fuck Theyre Pretty but also PARTY POISON YOUR SIBLING AND TRUSTED FRIEND IS ANNOYING SCENE KID?????????  ANDALSOREALLYCUTEOHDESTROYAHELPME but kobra and jet catch on and are like “nuh uh ur both coo people no fighting when we r around keep ur dumb little spat between urselves” and ghoul nd poison r like “>:( fine >:(” except secretly ghoul is :flushed: :pleading: :flushed:

so we fast forward 2 school starting in september and since i dont fuking understand the american school system, kobra is a year below ghoul&party and jet is a year ahead but somehow ghoul has classes w kobra bc i want them to and it is plot relevant. so ghoul and kobra bcome friends bc obviously they do and ghoul jet nd kobra hang out a lot bc party is Busy With Things i guess?? but like ghoul and party have a class 2gether and even tho they both have 2 tone down the aesthetics fr school they still intentionally annoy each othr in discreet ways

nd they sorta? keep that up? but ghoul and poison both realise “aw fuck, theyre actually. super cool” but both have chroic Cannot Admit My Mistakes disease so they resort to no longer plotting murder but PINING bc “oh noooo they hate meeee how sadddd” but theyre BOTH pining and think the other hates them. so to compensate thy keep doing little flirts in their own ways? party special orders darker kandi beads so they can make ghoul a bracelet that matches their aesthetic but ghoul of course knowns nothing of kandi and just. accepts it. and kobra and jet are like :bonk: bc WHAT THE FUCK???? cause they have baincells sorta kinda. and of course ghoul flirts by handsewing a patch fr party with ALSO special ordered neon thread and party is ALSO oblivious. this happens bc i think it is hilariously adorable that in their own subcultures thy r basically shoving signs saying DATE ME!!!!! I LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!n each others faces but they dont know enough abt eachother to know that. miscommunicaion and gay pining. mmm yummy.

nd at this point they r Very Close 2gether and ghoul hands party the choker back ad is like ,,,csn you,,, help me put it on,,,? and it is very very charged as ghoul moves their hair out of the way for party to reach up and fasten the hoker and ghoul KNOWS they should TURN AOUND so party can see better and party KNOWS they should move their hands away from the ghouls neck even when theyve fastened it and they BOTH know theyr standing Very Close and partys hands r sota half holding ghouls shoulders nd partially his face and ghoul is just. Staring. and then they both sorta lean in and :)))) kith. and jetndkobra are like THANK FUCKING GOD FINALLY and party nd houl r like WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT also wdym FINALLY i totally couldnt tell they liked me! then they look at eah other like. HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW I LIKED YOU??????? HOW???? I GAVE YOU PATCHES/KANDI BRACELTS THATS BASICALLY A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL and then kith more. :)))) liddol homos

then,,,,,,,, one day the four r at the mall and the tension is THICK bs ghoul has an Extra Special patch they spent ages on and party has a very awesome kandi/chain? choker they spent ages designing and they r both convinced This will b the gift that shows the other how they feel (spoiler alert It Does Not) and jet and kobes r like. right fuk this WE are gonna go. to the food court. or something. somewhere Not Here. and ghoul nd poison r just :heart eyes: yeah sure,,,,,  and they both like,,, shyly reach in2 their bags,,, nd are like :flushed oh? you uh :flushed: u got me smth too? :flushed: bc gay idiots. and party is like OH MY GOD GHOUL THIS IS SO COOL WHERE D YOU GET ALL THESE PATCHES THIS IS LIKE MADE FR ME I LOVE IT andghouls like ,,, i made it,,,,, for you,,,,,,,, uhm,,,,,,, and party gives him the choker nd is like ,,,oh,,, well uh,,,, i also,,,, made this,,,,, for you,,,,,, like you specifically,,,,,,,,

anyway. you were not expecting this. it took almost an hour. its 5am. this was very fun though cant wait for the day (never) that i write this as a real fic

jet and kobra watch every interaction with amusement and horror bc they like. understand what the two are doing. and they both TRY talk 2 party nd ghoul bc party nd ghoul are convinced the other hates them bc theyre fucking idiots.

#lickthatbattery #im sorry if u werent. expecting this. but i needed 2 get my thoughts down #scenepunk au #partyghoul #killjoys #mypost #myfic #long post #edit: made it my pinned im very happy w this i love this au #i know kobra nd jet arent in it much... its partyghoul. if i wrote it fully there would b scenes w them more #danger days #ttlofk #ttlotfk #ages later i noticed two paragraphs are out of order im so sorry oml

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

#max verstappen #charles leclerc #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #f1 #formula one #f1 grid #harry potter grid #finally done folks lordt #was anyone waiting for this idk but it's here #it's also glaringly obvious who i know less about but that too is something that one must excuse #whoops