#like I get in such a weird hype we’re I obsess over what chemicals I’m putting in my body

[waterparchive]

(June 13, 2022, Words by Emily Carter)

Full interview below:

“We’d just come from our first headline tour in America – we were in a van, it was winter, it was fucking freezing…” Awsten Knight tells Kerrang! today, “and I was probably in the top-three most sick I’ve ever been. We finished a show in Florida, got on a plane immediately and I couldn’t fucking breathe, and we went straight to the venue that night. I just couldn’t sing no matter what I tried – I couldn’t fucking speak.”

The frontman is currently recounting this depressingly underwhelming moment as he strolls around a random truck stop in Germany, as the band gear up for the biggest UK and European run of their career: the See You In The Future tour. As fate would have it, it includes a stop in Brixton.

Bumping into drummer Otto Wood nearby on his German wander, Awsten lets his bandmate continue their woeful 2017 tale.

“He was very sick, and the rest of us just hadn’t slept,” Otto remembers. “And then there would be all these strangers walking by, and I don’t even know if they had any affiliation with the venue, but they would walk by and be like, ‘Lotta history in this room!’ ‘This is the big one!’ ‘There’s a lot of people out there, huh?!’”

“I’m not even kidding, like five different people walked by and just said shit like that,” Awsten groans. “And we were just like, ‘Stop!’ But Otto had to sing that show, and I just played guitar – I would try to hype people or whatever, but it was miserable (laughs). It sucked so bad!”

This time around, though, Waterparks are headlining the whole damn place – and, as Awsten promises, it will surely be a moment of triumphant “redemption”. Armed with brilliant new single FUNERAL GREY, and all the songs from last year’s Greatest Hits which have only been played in the UK a handful of times since release, it’s got all the makings of an incredible night.

Here, we catch up with Awsten on all things Greatest Hits, FUNERAL GREY, and what to expect from the See You In The Future tour…

It’s been a year since the release of Greatest Hits. How do you reflect on that whole time period?

“It’s kind of hard to! But, as I take a moment to try and reflect for maybe the first time (laughs), I think it’s crazy because I feel like everybody who put out an album in that time kind of feels strange, or has some conflicting feelings about it. It’s hard to hear those songs and not think about the fact that nobody was at their best during 2020, obviously. It’s hard not to tie those things together, but that album did really grow us a lot. I mean, you have to be thankful, otherwise you’re just ungrateful! You don’t get a lot of tangibles as an artist, but when you can see Spotify numbers or tickets sold in a city has all gone up because of that album, then it’s like, ‘Okay cool, that’s a great thing.’ A lot of people took steps back or even called it quits in that time, but actually I think we owe a lot to Greatest Hits that I can’t see yet.”

So you can’t quite tell the real-world impact of the album?

“Yeah, everyone’s finding out what it’s translating to right now. But our Spotify numbers were less than half of what they were before Greatest Hits! Going into this tour I’ve been trying to look at numbers less because normally I obsess over them, but I glanced at them the other day for the first time in a while and it was like, ‘Oh, cool!’ All the UK dates are more people than we’ve ever had, so even though I know touring is kind of a strange thing right now and everybody’s sort of uneasy, there’s still that growth for us – and we’re really lucky, because I feel like that’s been a consistent thing for us, throughout all of the weirdness!”

Your first post-Greatest Hits single, FUNERAL GREY, came out at the same time that My Chemical Romance released their first new music in years, The Foundations Of Decay. But it doesn’t feel like that impacted the release of your single?!

“Dude, not at all! FUNERAL GREY was our biggest first week of streams, by far. I was like, ‘Holy shit!’ It hit a million in four and a half days. There obviously are moments where you’re like, ‘Oh man, how do I compete with that?!’ But you have to remind yourself that we’re not competing with that. We’re in completely different leagues, obviously – they’re just legends. And so the way I looked at that was that we’re not competing; if anything, we’re fucking friends. And I think it’s just cool when great music can come from bands, no matter what. That’s the bottom line of what matters.”

That feels like a very healthy approach…

“It’s taken a fuck-load of therapy, and time, and hitting my head against the wall! Knowing the numbers is good; obsessing over them, not so much. It just distracts you from creating more stuff that people would enjoy, or would make me feel fulfilled.”

Before release, you teased the single on TikTok, and obviously in the past few weeks there has been a lot of discourse online, with Halsey saying their label wouldn’t release their new music without a viral moment on TikTok. What’s your relationship with promoting things and social media?

“It kind of depends on the day! But no matter how healthy or unhealthy I am with it between what day it is, I think the most important thing is that I see it for what it is, and I understand that that’s part of it. I think I’m blessed and cursed enough to have spent so much fucking time online that it’s kind of natural. And, you know, not being cool growing up in school, it gives you a sense of humour and you’re able to laugh at yourself. A lot of those TikToks that do well are kind of self-deprecating, and I think that being able to find the humour in things, and laugh at yourself – but not so much that it’s like pissing your pants (laughs) – it’s just another medium that’s becoming more necessary to put yourself out there. I would love to be able to be less online, and I kind of have been less online lately, but it’s important to put what you need to out there and do what you have to do, but you don’t have to be drenched in it all the time.”

On to the song itself: what made FUNERAL GREY the first thing to show people after Greatest Hits?

“Honestly, there were so many songs that we were stuck between! A lot of the time I’ll have a very clear idea of, ‘I want to do this, and then this, and then this…’ – and I still do have a lot of those specifics, but as far as what came first, I just knew that, where Greatest Hits was very introverted and kind of dark, I wanted something that was the exact opposite; I wanted something that made me feel good. Another deciding factor was also wanting something fun, because we’re going to be playing it live a lot now. When I’m stuck I definitely do ask others’ opinions – not as an end-all be-all, but just, ‘Hey, what do you think is the one?’ Because if there was a resounding one and I was unsure, then I would be like, ‘You know what? Maybe it is that one then.’ But everybody had different favourites [this time around], and it was like, ‘Shit!’ So it wasn’t helpful in picking the first song, but it’s really good to know that there’s not only one really good song – it’s reassuring that there’s so much good stuff, and it felt like we couldn’t really make the wrong choice. And I’m not mad at what we chose!

“A lot of what’s been – and being – written is very extroverted, because Greatest Hits was conceptually over the course of a night, and had a lot of references to indoor shit, and this one I wanted to feel almost like a reintroduction into daytime. And that’s kind of how things are right now – I’m not saying, ‘Everything’s over, throw away your masks!’ I’m not saying that at all, but people are going back out into the world, and they’re re-socialising and re-experiencing things again for the first time in a long time, and a lot of these songs are about those kinds of connections.”

Was it written before you signed to Fueled By Ramen?

“It’s so frustrating, because people say so much online with so little knowledge of how things actually work! People are like, ‘Oh my god, they signed with Fueled By Ramen, they’re gonna make them sound like pop bullshit!’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, the album was 95 per cent done before we even met any of them.’ They flew from New York to LA just to hear the new stuff – because I’m so protective and careful about it, because I have nightmares about our shit leaking! That’s one of my biggest fears. I don’t want to work on an album for a full year of my life or more, and then just have it get leaked. So yeah, they flew over to hear it and were like, ‘Holy shit, this is amazing!’ And I’ve seen how they’ve handled their bands, and they’ve given us more resources than anybody has – and there’s no label-oriented change to the music. So it’s really best-case scenario for us!”

As well as the new single and label change, your clothing company HiiDef has been a huge success. Is that taking up more of your time now than you expected?

“You know, it’s something that I always wanted to do. Very early on with the band I used to micro-manage fucking everything, and it took up 100 per cent of my time, but I’ve kind of realised that perfection is… what’s the saying? ‘Perfection is the enemy of progress.’ And that’s true, because I can sit there being nit-picky over everything, and it’s exhausting! Obviously I’m never gonna half-ass anything, but now I don’t get hung up on everything and it’s opened up so much more time to work on so many other things – and HiiDef was one of those. In band world you want to sell as much merch as possible, but with this everything is very limited in the collections – it’s all 300 [pieces] or less, and it’s just about making the coolest stuff. The other day I dropped this heat-sensitive thing with buttons all around the neck, and if you breathe on it or go outside it looks fuckin’ crazy! This is stuff that you can’t really make in a band scope, because it costs more and it’s just not as sustainable. But I’ve always been into fashion, and I’ve wanted to design shit for long. At the end of 2019 I had a full binder of 50 designs, and then the fucking pandemic hit and I was like, ‘Oh damn, okay!’ But it gave me more time to study because the factories shut down. Since then, I’ve just gotten better at it, and I’ve also realised that being able to do all this can’t be a one-man thing, and you need a good team around you. I can sit there and say, ‘Hey, I want to make this!’ and leave and go to Europe for a tour, and they can begin production on it. So it’s basically just about building teams and having smart, creative, capable people around you. I would be a fucking asshole liar if I took credit for everything going on around me!”

It still seems like juggling everything must be quite stressful…

“It can be, but the thing is there’s time for everything – if you’re not just wasting your day on social media! And that’s easy to do; you can fall into that trap. But, as long as you divide your time appropriately, you can manage so much more than you think if you just put your fucking phone down (laughs).”

Right now you’re focussing on your UK and European headline tour this month – what can fans expect from those shows?

“It’s exciting, because we’ve been able to take the time to transform some of the songs, and add new arrangements, new production, new instrumentation. The production is fucking next-level, and we’ve got some special surprises – especially for London. I will say there’s going to be some history made in London! I hate spoilers, but it’s a really good introduction into what’s next…”

Will you be playing any more new music?!

“Yes! I’m just going to say ‘yes’ and leave it at that!”

After the UK and Europe, your 2022 tour dates wrap up supporting My Chem in America. How does that feel?

“Amazing! Amazing! I can’t fucking wait. Obviously we’re very tight with Mikey [Way, bass], and I’ve talked to Frank [Iero, guitar] a handful of times, but the other day I got to meet Gerard [Way, vocals] and it was so cool. It was just a by-chance thing, but everybody was so fucking nice, and it’s so weird to meet them people that you watched growing up – and it’s like, ‘Oh my god, they’re really cool, they’re not assholes, this is amazing!’ I was able to thank them for having us, because that’s a big bucket-list thing that I didn’t know would ever get crossed off.”

Finally, do you see the Greatest Hits era as done at this point?

“I think that, for me, it’s done. I also get impatient, and – like I said – nobody has the best memories associated with their ‘pandemic albums’. And with so much good, bright new shit ready to go, it’s hard to not move forward.”

#waterparks #waterparks interview #more tags #later #kerrang #otto interview #awsten interview

[bunny-hearts]

Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→

#this is a vent post but also a very cute kamoji u can reblog #........................................................................................................................................... #tw for talking abt food & Ed mention! #why r ALL my special intrests food related #Japanese pastries or baking in general #now just general nutrition ??? #like I get in such a weird hype we’re I obsess over what chemicals I’m putting in my body #(not really that negative!) #and it’s at the point again where I’m convinced I have an ED but like #I’m just obsessed with balancing my macros a certain way etc etc #for HEALF #but I get a gut feeling like #‘’boo maybe something’a wrong...’’ #I dunno!!!! #I just work here! #my brain wants to compile low card high protein recipies and plan out meal preps weeks in advanced ! so be it! #it’s not like I panic abt my weight or anything aside from the normal society pressure stuff #I work manual labor I’ve got lumberjack muscles #and so it can’t be that bad that I’ve obsessing over macros?? I gotta eat good?? yeah??? #(this is not a call for help I’m just 🤔🔊 rn) #my post #bunny.txt

[gh0st-patr0l]

ADHD in DSMP

So about a week back, I made a post about Karl Jacobs (a bit of a passive aggressive one, I’ll admit, but I think it was justified), complaining that a lot of the ‘criticism’ I see about Karl is actually rather insensitive towards his ADHD. I got a lot of responses to that post, and the most common sources of confusion I saw were:

People not understanding what I was saying they should avoid being judgmental of, or-

People who didn’t know that Karl had ADHD or didn’t understand which behaviors were caused by it.

First of all, Karl has confirmed that he has ADHD.

(NOTE: Yes, I know he said ADD. ADD and ADHD used to be categorized as separate disorders, but in the most recent edition of the DSM, it was decided that they are both simply subtypes of the same disorder- ADHD is the correct technical term. ADD is still sometimes used as shorthand by some practitioners to diagnose primarily-inattentive ADHD, but it's a bit outdated.)

Secondly, that original post made me realize that a lot of people who may be well-meaning may genuinely not fully understand ADHD and its symptoms as well as they want to or think they might. If you aren’t aware, Karl isn’t the only one in the DSMP with ADHD- to my understanding, both Technoblade and Dream have confirmed that they have it as well. So, I thought it would be helpful to put together a comprehensive crash-course on ADHD symptoms and how they effect people’s behavior!

Now, before we go further, I want to address something- as I said earlier, I saw some people unsure of whether certain behaviors are ADHD or “just his personality”. I feel the need to point this out above the read more so people will see it. To answer this question, as someone with ADHD;

A lot of times, it’s both. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning that it’s caused by the way your brain developed from birth. A lot of the symptoms and effects of ADHD are extremely influential towards the way we think, act, and behave, to the point where “symptoms” and “normal behavior” really don’t have a clean differentiation. This is why it’s technically classified as a ‘disorder’, instead of an illness. While certain aspects of it can require treatment, the condition itself as a whole is not something to be mitigated or eliminated- it’s a part of who we are as a person. This is also why sometimes, even if you don’t have ADHD, you’ll look at certain specific behaviors or experiences and go “Oh, but I do that too!”. A lot of ADHD ‘symptoms’ are just a bunch of normal traits or behaviors, but in combination with each other and some actually problematic aspects, form the appearance of the disorder.

So, what are you allowed to nitpick about it? Well, there’s no real ‘authority’ on this, and even if there was it certainly wouldn’t be me. But if you want my opinion? Nothing.

See, here’s the thing- what I was trying to say when I made that post was not that you can’t be critical of Karl. If you want to say something about his Actions, his Ideals, or the content he creates- sure, go for it, that’s fair. I will agree that there are some very valid and constructive points to be made. But when you post ‘criticism’ about the way he speaks, his interests or preoccupations, his personal behaviors? That’s not criticism. That’s just judging someone.

And you’re allowed to think that stuff! Nobody can control what annoys or bothers them. It doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. But you don’t need to be vocal about it. You can keep your mean thoughts to yourself. And if you do make posts or communities or whatever about judging someone for things they can’t change about themselves, don’t call it “criticism” or try to morally justify it. It’s not productive or righteous, it’s just rude. Nothing else.

Anyway. Back to Education!

The following will be a descriptive list of visible ADHD behaviors, using Karl’s behavior as examples.

I feel the need to add a disclaimer here- I am not a mental health professional. However! I have ADHD myself, I have taken some psychology courses and done a Lot of research into this stuff, and I’m the daughter of a therapist with access to a DSM. While I’m not an expert, I’d like to think I’m fairly well versed and knowledgeable on at least ADHD. (That being said, if by chance anyone who Is a professional sees this post and notices mistakes, by all means let me know and I’ll fix it!!)

WHAT IS ADHD?

You’re here for the behaviors more than the science, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Known in the past as Attention Deficit Disorder). Despite its name, the root problem of ADHD is not in the person’s ability to pay attention, but their brain’s capability to manage itself. In simple terms, people with ADHD have a lot less control over what their brain does and wants. This results in some behavioral differences along with some personal challenges, namely a difficulty with attentiveness and self-discipline.

Now, onto the symptoms!

ATTENTION

This is perhaps the most visible and pervasive of the ADHD symptoms, hence why it’s the namesake. Inattention is a lack of focus and an inability to stay present and occupied with certain tasks or thoughts.

Because ADHD impairs self-management of the brain, people with it have an extremely hard time directing themselves anywhere but where their brain instinctively wants to go. This results in inattentiveness and the easiness of distraction that is often mocked or stereotyped for people with ADHD.

Here are some examples of how Karl can sometimes display his inattentiveness;

When he has an idea that he seems passionate about, only to drop it or switch to something totally different without warning soon after (either forgetting or getting bored of his original idea).

When he sets out to do something like a build, works on it for a short amount of time, and then immediately gives up or gets someone else to do it.

When someone else is talking and he totally zones out. (NOTE: While I wont make a whole section for it because it’s not easily observable, maladaptive (constant and intrusive) daydreaming is a common ADHD symptom as well!)

It’s important to remember that the whole problem with ADHD is that we can’t control when or what we focus on. When someone with ADHD zones out during a conversation or activity, it doesn’t mean they’re doing it on purpose, and they likely don’t mean any offense! We often are trying our best to listen or participate, but our brain just wont cooperate.

However, inattention is not the only way ADHD effects our focus. There’s also what’s called hyperfocus or hyperfixation, which is when we are so absorbed into a single subject, task, or idea that it is extremely difficult to get us to think about or do anything else. This is usually because our brains have found something that is getting those satisfaction chemicals flowing, and it’s clinging to that with everything it’s got.

People with ADHD will often experience brief periods of hyperfocus. Think of how Karl talks about spending hours straight working on a build or project without eating or drinking, or how he’ll sit down to play a game with someone and end up going six hours without even noticing.

There are also hyperfixations, where someone with ADHD becomes extremely preoccupied with a certain subject, topic, etc. for a period of time. These can be short term- personally, my hyperfixation can sometimes change as quickly as a couple weeks at a time. However, it can also be long term. Karl has been obsessed with Survivor since the second grade- not to mention his memorabilia, rambling, and constant references to Kingdom Hearts.

HYPERACTIVITY/STIMMING

This is a BIG one for Karl. I should clarify; ‘stimming’ is not a technical term, and in professional situations these behaviors are just referred to as Hyperactivity. However, I personally like the term stimming much more and find it far more accurate to what the behaviors actually are, so I’ll be using that instead for this post.

If you’re not already familiar, ‘stimming’ (derived from ‘stimulation’) is an unofficial term used to describe consistent and abnormal patterns of physical and vocal behavior typically expressed by people with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). This includes things that people usually call fidgets or tics.

(NOTE: There are differences in how people with those two disorders stim. This post will explain stimming specifically from an ADHD perspective! ASD stimming is caused by very different factors and presents itself in much different ways. Do your own research if you’re curious!) 

There are two major observable forms of stimming- physical and vocal. Karl expresses both VERY often! I’ll use examples for each type;

Physical Stims: Flapping his hands/arms, jumping up and down when he’s excited, twisting around into odd positions in his chair, throwing, hitting, or tapping things, standing up and pacing around when he’s hyped up or laughing, twisting his rings, etc.

Vocal Stims: When he gets excited and repeats a certain phrase incessantly (Think any variation of “I’m popping off”), making certain repetitive noises while he’s focused on something or bored (”la la la”, the meow-noises, the weird heart-beat noise, etc.), singing or humming, tongue clicking.

It should be noted here that it’s pretty common for people with ADHD to get “stuck” on certain phrases or noises, and be unable to stop repeating them (reminiscent of echolalia, a symptom of ASD, but not the same thing). Think of how Karl might sometimes keep making a weird noise for an extended period of time even though it’s not that funny, or that one time he was physically struggling to keep himself from singing the Bakugan theme. These repetitions are completely impulsive and trust me, we usually know how annoying it is while we’re doing it, but we physically cannot stop.

ADHD stims are caused by the fact that the barrier between our brain and body is much weaker than a normal person’s. Because of this, most ADHD stims are actually very positive expressions of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm! Y’know how when you get excited, you feel like you wanna jump or dance? The ‘hyperactivity’ of ADHD is basically just that, but we don’t have the self-control to Not do it.

Stims can be caused by negative feelings like overstimulation, but in ADHD this is not nearly as common. Usually, the most negative reason we’ll stim is when we’re bored- in that case, our brain isn’t getting the Constant Stimulation that it naturally wants, so stimming is a way to make our own.

Whatever the cause, stimming is natural and impulsive. While different people experience it to varying degrees, those who regularly stim typically have little to no control over it. Suppressing stims is very hard and very frustrating to do.

Besides that, like I said- ADHD stims are often an expression of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm. They’re a beautiful thing that shouldn’t be seen as shameful or annoying!

BEHAVIORAL DIFFICULTIES

ADHD is a disorder which causes a lack of self-control. Naturally, this means that people with ADHD are inherently reckless, impulsive, and struggle with a lack of self-discipline that they cannot fix.

Of course, people with ADHD do still have some level of self-control, and they are still responsible for conscious, long-term behavioral patterns and decisions. However, in regards to most things, they are much, much less capable of controlling themselves than an average neurotypical person is.

These are some examples of how this will often present itself in Karl;

Excessive rambling, dragging on a joke or conversation when it could and should probably have been dropped, etc.

Speaking over or interrupting other people (NOTE: As someone with ADHD- THIS IS ALMOST ALWAYS UNINTENTIONAL. I know it can seem rude or annoying but I promise, 90% of the time if someone with ADHD talks over you, they either didn’t realize or physically couldn’t help it. Please try to be patient!)

Lack of awareness towards social cues (NOTE: Unlike ASD, in which the person is incapable of/has problems fully understanding social cues, ADHD results in a lack of awareness. For whatever reason, we’re often just not paying close enough attention to pick up on things like body language, tone of speech, and facial expression as well as we would normally.)

Indecisiveness and overthinking

Bluntness, lack of subtlety

Unintentional dismissiveness, accidentally ignoring things/people (NOTE: Again, this behavior is purely accidental. In this case, it’s usually just the person genuinely not hearing or processing things.)

Making noises, speaking, joking, etc. at inappropriate times

There’s probably more, but I think you get the idea by now. A lot of the time, behavior which results from ADHD can be seen as rude, lazy, dismissive, or otherwise intentionally harmful. In reality, we just aren’t wired to navigate common social interaction with grace.

In Karl’s case, he’s clearly an incredibly sweet, empathetic, and kind-hearted person, if the various close friends who have talked about him are to be believed. Just because he talks over people or makes a poorly timed joke, that doesn’t mean he meant any harm. 

I think that’s about it for how much I wanted to point out! You can do more research if you’re curious, but I feel like this post should be enough to tell you what to keep in mind and be understanding about when talking about/making judgements on Karl, and other people with ADHD.

#sorry if this is longwinded but I had a lot to say so [shrug] #karl jacobs #dsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #ghost.txt

[mcrmadness]

I was tagged by @cupcakecurl a while back (thank you!) and finally I’m on the mood for doing this myself as well!

Rules: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better!

Top 3 current ships: I actually have just one OTP, which is Bela/Farin (aka FUB) from Die Ärzte, and then multiple smaller ones here and there. I’m finding new ships way too easily and sometimes it bugs me because I meant to enjoy a thing and boom, suddenly I have a ship there to fuck up with my brain. B/F is pretty much the only ship that I can say to actually ship, the rest are more like just for fun, I enjoy seeing stuff but I don’t really do anything about it, you know?

But now as I think of it, I think of it, I could say another band ship here: Paulchard aka Paul Landers and Richard Z. Kruspe from Rammstein, about these I have also watched videos and read some fancomics too and last summer’s tour was a wild one and I was following the events quite a lot.

And then maybe I could throw one fictional ship here too as it’s pretty much current one since I just finished watching the 5th season of Gotham last week, and that is, of course Nygmobblepot aka Penguin/The Riddler aka Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma. I’ve never in my life shipped these before, even tho I’ve been a Batman fan since 1999 (I was 8) as I saw the 60s series on TV and I can remember almost shipping Batman and Robin back then, and I was only 8 years old!, and then had been watching the movies more or less during my childhood, but this was never something I’d even think of before I started watching Gotham and things started happening in the show. But it’s an interesting one. And I have to admit that while the show was still running and I couldn’t watch it because I live in Europe (and was too lazy to look for a website to watch it :D), I was still browsing the tag on Tumblr after each episode and giving myself spoilers of what happens with them. But I think the ending was a lot different than what I thought based on the Tumblr posts, and I’m actually not sure what to think of it. Imho it was not as bad as everyone else seemed to think.

I’m putting this under a read more link as this is getting way too long and I don’t know if people are interested in reading my weird thoughts about ships and other random stuff, so here you go... 

Top 3 all-time ships:  Oh my gosh, I have had so many but only like 2 actually strong ones? And I have to say Bela/Farin here as well, the reasons are found from above and I’m just so obsessed with them and idc what it is, already the friendship is like friendhip goals, you know? But yeah, I’ve been making videos about these two idiots for like last 10 years so... :D

And the next one, okay I’m usually not so talkative about ships. I can talk about them with people in private but I don’t like to go and shout about them publicly, probably the only one I talk about this way is Bela/Farin but it’s because Tumblr is a safe place for this and there’s no hate with this ship or anything (and the other one is Paulchard, every now and then I will reblog something that crosses my dash). But mainly I like to keep ships to myself and like I said in that other tag game post, ships are more like a guilty pleasure. Maybe because of my age as it was very normal at the age of 15 but now as I’m 28? Why am I still “in love with other people’s love”? I actually don’t mind it but I think many people would find it weird, especially when I don’t read fanfictions anymore and I don’t want to imagine anything, I just like seeing cute stuff, but with many ships I don’t even want to see too much, I just like seeing them being close but with many ships even seeing them kiss would be too much.

But anyway, top 3 all-time ships... I think I need to mention here a ship that I was very much obsessed when I was 15-17, that I wrote LOTS OF fanfiction and was there to make lots of fan theories and all, and that one was Frerard aka Gerard Way/Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance. I was SO obsessed it’s insane. If you know anything about MCR and Frerard, you maybe are aware of how was the year 2007 and you can probably imagine how crazy we all went when Project Revolution stuff happened. So yeah, I need to mantion that here even tho I no longer “believe in this ship”, but I guess I’d lie if I said, that I didn’t believe that there was something there back in the day. I’ve actually recently been watching some Frerard theory videos just for fun, because there’s so many things I had forgotten and so many things I still can remember, but also lots of stuff that I kinda missed because they happened in 2010-2012, and even tho I was still very much in the fandom and I was to their second gig in Finland in 2011, I still was not that much into the Danger Days album so I was not so into digging up stuff either. And I had my own identity crisis and Die Ärzte had been my favorite band for 1-2 years at that time so I was spending lots of time watching DÄ videos, so MCR was kinda at the background. And then the whole band went quiet for some time until they quit in 2013 (and now they’re back), so all that Frerard hype kinda died after each of them started to get married to other people and the kids were born, so there just... kinda was no more room for the ship, you know? But Freard was my first actual huge slash ship, I’ve had others before it (for example, my first touch to slash fiction was Harry Potter fanfiction and of course Harry/Draco stuff, but that one also later died out), but it was the first really strong one and then Bela/Farin kinda took its place as Frerard died out but B/F has been going strong and the ship has been sailing itself since the 80s, so... :D

And as the last one I think I could again mention something fictional but at the same time something that is super weird for me as it’s not slash fiction but hetship, which is something REALLY weird for me. I usually don’t like heteroships as they’re just... boring and so cliché. But I need to mention this one that I got into when I was 15: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully from The X-Files. Yeah I know it was 2006 and the series had ended already in 2002, but I was a new fan! I had known about the series since I was a little kid as my dad was watching it back then, but I started watching it myself when the show had a rerun here in 2004-2005. And then I met my friend in 2006 when we were 15 and we found out that we both were very much into TXF and I remember how we somehow both started to ship Mulder and Scully (having no idea of how the series ended), and it was probably until the 6th season (there was 9 seasons at the time) when they stopped airing it altogether, so we were so furious about the fact because the last episode was such a cliffhanger and we NEEDED TO KNOW, so I had to buy them on dvd! So I remember how we would meet at school every day and after every episode, we went so crazy, discussing what had happened in the episode and if there was any Mulder/Scully activity, we were just so hyped :D And then, as we STILL hadn’t seen all the seasons, we went to see the second movie (”TXF: I want to believe”) in theaters in 2008 or so, and it’s set to happen after the events of the seasons, we were both so blown away by what was in the movie because we had no clue :D Fun fact: I actually finished watching the 9th season only last year. So now I understand the events of the second movie a lot better, and I’ve also seen the 10th and 11th seasons so now I’m finally aware of everything. But that really is a hetship that I accept and that is not like a typical movie romance type of ship. It has interesting dynamics.

---

Last song: Tatuoituna by Tehosekoitin

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick, I don’t use any make-up, but chapstick I need to use daily.

Last movie: Iron Sky. I’ve seen it before tho, but we’re gonna watch the sequel soon, so we had to watch this to remember what happened :D (And it’s made partially by Finns, so..!)

Reading: Atm I have 3 books I’m reading, all of them in Finnish:

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, which has all the short stories in one. But I think there’s some of the newer ones missing and that’s why I bought this bit newer book with more stories, and I’m gonna read those once I’m finished with this one. And I’ve been reading this now for years lol... but I’m slowly getting there, I’m already over halfway through :D

A collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories, I don’t know the name for this book and it doesn’t say any name for the original. This one I also started to read a years back, only to pause if for years and then last year I borrowed it again from my dad and tried to continue from where I was left the last time.

The Heroes of Olympus: The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan. I’ve been reading his books ever since I was a, well, teenager probably, and I have had a long pause with these books and reading overall, but now I’m back at it and trying to buy and read all of his books I still haven’t read.

I wanted to read the latter only after finishing with SH and Poe’s stories but I needed to read something and they’re bit too difficult reading at the times, and I needed something lighter but also didn’t want to start over with Harry Potter for the 5th time so I decided to go for this series instead. I really like reading SH and Poe’s stories, but like I said, they’re bit difficult at the times. You can’t just read them, you need to think and use your brains meanwhile you’re reading, and sometimes it’s just so incredibly hard to stay focused on it and I need to go back so often because I wasn’t paying attention and then had no clue what was happening and why.

And I sometimes I skip some of Poe’s stories because they’re so purely scientific about a topic that I cannot comprehend nor care about, e.g. this one story that was almost like a science essay about hot-air balloon flight in the form of a story, probably super interesting for someone who likes this kind of stuff and even more interesting for a writer interested in stuff like that, but I’m really not the target audience of that story :D But then there’s also lots of really interesting ones, I especially like the ones that have something to do with insanity. I guess people would call them as the horror stories, but idk, I just love that kind of mystery. For some reason all of my favorite stories are those where there is a dead woman/love interest :DD But probably my ultimate favorite is the one about writing an article to a magazine with horror stories, and how this guy become beheaded and all just to write a story about how it feels like and stays alive meanwhile, and I just LOVE IT when fictional works play with death and when something that is supposed to kill you, doesn’t, and I just love the idea of that story so much :D It’s just that you never know how a story will be like, as you start reading, is it a scientific essay or a mystery or a horror story or about insanity or what is it? And then when in the middle of reading and you realize this is bit boring or uninteresting, but still want to finish, but also want to skip, and that’s why I get stuck with that book, and I change to SH or something else. Often I also grab some of the comics (or non-fiction books) I own whenever I feel like reading but these books feel too heavy for that moment.

---

I should tag 9 people but I don’t even know that many people to tag lol. Okay I do know people, but I still don’t know who wants to be tagged and who doesn’t. Maybe I’ll be boring and tag @stufenlosregelbar again? :D And idk, maybe @annika-of-the-lost? Eh, I’m so bad at this whole tagging thing. I’m having a bad conscience if I don’t tag anyone/enough people in case they want to be tagged and I can’t read minds; and then I’m having bad conscience when I DO tag people in case they’re all somewhere facepalming and screaming “WHYYYYYY” into the void, as I still can’t read minds. So you can choose, do this tag game or ignore it and ban me from ever tagging you people again, I don’t mind :p

#mcrmadness' random stuff #tag games

[stupidpianist]

27 october 2018

10:00: Shut off alarm, hit snooze. I set my phone’s snooze to ten minutes, I should probably lower it to five because of the frequency with which I “snooze”...

10:10: Shut off alarm again, put it to snooze.

10:20: Turned off all alarms until alarms at 11h. Got up and chugged giant glass of water from Brita.

10:21: Back in bed. Trying to sleep more, not ready to “start the day” yet.

10:40: Woke up from strange nightmare in which the world was experiencing an apocalypse, hard to remember exact details, remember being on an ark-like massive boat, trying to escape from some kind of antagonistic war force? Remember there being a corrupt leader. Almost 99% of my dreams are about banal things, like, literally Googling things and reading Wikipedia, the other 1% are always really dangerous apocalyptic or life-threatening situations in which I’m trying to save as many people as possible.

11:00: Shut off alarm, turned over to right side, went into “fetal position,” thought, “wow, this is comfortable, wow, this is so comfortable.”

11:30: Woke from another weird dream, dreamt that I was seeing the band Ghost perform in Montreal, only, the crowd was really diminutive, and most of the people in the audience were inexplicably not paying attention to the show at all. I was able to go right up to the stage. They played a few songs. I woke up. Weird. Going to get up now and clean my bathroom, it needs a “thorough scrubbing.”

11:31: Chugged another massive glass of water from Brita. So satisfying, one of the most satisfying things, waking, feeling dehydrated, taking glasses of water “to the face.” Mm. Yum.

11:32: Cleaning bathroom. Have probably super-harmful-to-environment chemical thing that is used to scrub porcelain surfaces. Have my “trusty,” “handy dandy” cleaning sponge. Have paper towels. First scrubbing tub, it’s gotten so grimy, wow… I remember when I used to work in a local ice cream parlor in my town, and one of my favourite things to do would be to mop the floors. The other employees and managers found this really weird, always said, like, “nobody wants to mop the floors,” but I always explained that it was one of the few activities that you could see the 1:1 results of your efforts immediately after doing it, and so I found it really really satisfying. Feeling the same way right now, scrubbing the tub, seeing all the muck and filth wash away with every little sponge motion.

Moving onto the sink now, first have to clear everything off of it. Electric toothbrush, check. Plastic comb, check. Gatsby hair product thing, check (when Phoebe came to use my wifi she was like, “of course you use Gatsby,” and I thought “oh crap, I’ve been ‘caught,’ I’ve been ‘pigeonholed’”). Toothpaste, check. Razor, check. Scrubbing sink now, scrubbing hard, scrubbing efficiently. This chemical stuff really “works wonders,” there must be some seriously bad stuff in here… Should I be using gloves? I don’t have sensitive skin, I’ve never really had problems with… With chemicals and my hands? I don’t know, seems like I should be using gloves right now.

11:43: Okay, deep-clean scrub finished, going to shower now, been looking forward to showering since last night. Don’t know why, I shower every day? I don’t know, maybe it’s from excitement that I’m, like, “preparing for the night,” going to meet up with person I met for drinks with a few nights ago this evening, extremely excited to do this, so, like, the shower is, like, propelling me into the day? Which gets me closer to the evening? I don’t know I DON’T KNOW I’m just trying to say I’m really hyped for this shower, okay? Going to put on some sweetass shower music. I got the best shower tunes, hit me up if you want the “sickest, dopest” shower playlists. I can curate them to your specific genre or BPM preferences. Just let me know, “drop me a line.”

11:48: Putting on clothes now. Going to “throw on” my “edgy pants,” and a thermal top, and “FUNERAL” hoodie, and Walnut Hill jacket. “Standard attire,” heheh. Wondering if I should also wear my raincoat? It’s supposed to rain steadily this evening, but I don’t want to be, like, sweating… I also don’t really mind the rain, it’s just water, it’s really not that big of a deal, it’s just like, you’re wet, so what? I’ll just bring my super crappy umbrella with me, that should be enough to mitigate any “water damage” my body could take. Read in Disaster Artist yesterday that Tommy had a daily routine of drinking five Red Bulls. Reminds me of me in middle school. “Fiending for” a Red Bull today, really “jonesing” for one, going to put some change in my pocket and grab one from a dep on my way to school.

12:00: Backpack: PACKED. Wallet: IN POCKET. Keys? I GOT THOSE TOO, BABY. Going to head to school and update this liveblog, and then practice piano for however many hours my brain lets me. Not sure what kind of “piano vibes” I’m getting today, but I hope it’ll be good?? Have also been putting off listening to Daniil Trifonov’s newest album, it’s Rachmaninov’s second and fourth concerti, and some Bach transcriptions. I really don’t like the fourth concerto, and I only sometimes like the second, even though I was super obsessed with it when I was younger, in my early-and-mid teens. Remember texting one of my friends, someone I feel more fondly towards than almost any of my friends, Alex, how long it took him to learn the first movement of the second concerto, just as a baseline so I could compare my own timeline and see if I was “on par” with how good at learning new pieces I wanted to be, and he told me he learned it in something ridiculous like one afternoon. He’s one of the most self-determined people I’ve ever met, maybe the most self-determined, miss him a lot. Should send him a message, why haven’t I done that...

Sorry sorry yeah so I’m going to take some time too and listen to the album in the practice rooms. Will probably/inevitably give me more practicing motivation. I am a huge fan of Trifonov. Will let you people know how the album is.

16:25: Packing up my piano books. Hey hey hey! Hi hi hi! What’s up YouTube!! If you’re wondering how the practicing went, it was… Satisfactory. I started warming up with some Schubert, his last sonata, and promptly started like sobbing uncontrollably. Can never seem to make it more than a few pages in before this always happens. Played through the first movement and second movement, no repeat in the first just to “save time” as I intended it to be a warm up, and created a pretty substantial pool of tears on the practice room floor by the time I was done. How the heck does anyone practice pieces like this without becoming a giant mess of tears?? Dissociate? I don’t know.

Felt really really good to play through it, though; one of my favourite pieces that I love the more and more I work on it. I thought I sounded really good in the Schubert, so I moved to Alkan, which was substantially worse. Felt like I had really heavy brain fog, like, a dense miasma of brain fog. Was able to play, but felt distinct disconnection between what my hands were doing, and what my head was thinking. I really hate that sensation, when you don’t feel in control of what you’re playing, so I switched to Thalberg, which was a bit better, but really just felt off. Played it through and did a little passage work before turning to Beethoven, opus 110, another one of my favourite sonatas, and my favourite Beethoven sonata by a long shot. After working on this pretty intensely I was like, okay, so you practiced for an okay amount of time, four hours or so, and even though you didn’t sound good, or feel good, you still did work, and you still put in effort.

Haven’t gotten groceries in a long time, going to head to Provigo to get supplies for massive Greek salad and pasta, here’s what I’m gonna get:

-bell peppers

-cherry tomatoes

-english cucumber

-lemon

-kalamata olives

-dill (maybe, if i want to “splurge”)

-red onion

-feta cheesee

-pasta sauce (i’m lazy i don’t wanna make it myself don’t judge me okay)

-mushrooms

Have the rest of the ingredients like dry pasta and stuff for Greek salad dressing at home. Gonna try and “beat the rain,” too.

16:45: Success in the grocery store. Also ended up buying a large scented candle as a bit of an impulse purchase; I really like things that create pleasant/comfy/cozy scents, and my Airwick thing I plug into my wall ran out of oil, and I don’t have any more incense, so I was like, “yeah, my mom loves scented candles, I love scented candles, let’s get a scented candle, yes.” Chose “Cashmere Woods” scent. It’s brownish in colour. Hope it smells as good as the name implies, one can never tell just by pure sniffing of the unmelted wax… Very… distrustful… Oh, oh! Also got bananas. Need some breakfast food that I can take and run out of the door.

16:56: Home. Going to unpack groceries and then read more of the Disaster Artist in bed, I think. Will also catch up on some YouTube tech videos. Feeling like a real nerd right now.

16:59: Got a Facebook message from the person I’m seeing again tonight!!! Okay so we’re going to meet at 22h, that gives me enough time to be productive before then, getting really cozy in bed, “settling in” for a nice read. Heheh. Ho ho ho. Something about “hehe” is just so funny to me, I still can’t place why, can any of you help explain it to me?

18:13: Got through a whole slew of tech videos, a whole mess of tech videos. Was just starting to read Disaster Artist when I heard the notification sound from my speakers hooked up to my laptop on my esk that notifies me when my younger brother signs into Overwatch. “Chatted him up” and he said he could play A FEW ROUNDS. MULTIPLE. Do you people realize how huge this is?! Usually he just has time for one! Maybe it’s because he has a long weekend? Monday for him is a teacher’s day or something, so he gets it off. Either way, here we go!!!!

19:37: Wow those were some INTENSE games. Played tank for some of it, then DPS for most of it. Haven’t actually played Tracer in so long, I used to main her so hard. Still my favourite champion to play alongside Junkrat. We played pretty well, won most of our rounds, wow, my adrenaline is so pumped up from that, can’t believe it’s been over an hour?! Holy heck that flew by. Brother going to eat dinner now, recommended that I make greek salad. Will probably do that, or maybe go for a run?? I don’t know, I’ve been so physically inactive the past week, I feel like a slug, I should at least do SOMETHING.

20:08: Yeah my adrenaline is pumping way too hard. This always happens, as a kid even if I was just having a “playdate” with a friend, I would get so so so, uh, not anxious, but like overly excited? Manic? That I literally couldn’t focus on anything or sit still, so I’d just run around doing menial activities while sweating through my palms profusely and just feeling a huge tightness in my chest. This still happens to me, but not as strongly, I think?? Unless I’m super excited to see someone, which I am tonight?? I need to “burn off some steam,” think I’m going to go on an intense bike ride, okay, see you guys soon, yes yes YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

20:13: CHRIST ON A CRACKER I forgot it’s raining now!!! OH NO HOW AM I GONNA crap crap I don’t have a flipping fender for my bike so if I go biking I’m gonna get soaked crap crap crap maybe I’ll just take a walk and blast music?? Yeah that’s feasible, won’t get too “wet” from that it’s gonna be great, I’ll do that, okay!!!! Just “thinking out loud,” here, folks, move along, nothing to see here, nothing at all.

20:41: Back from walk. Was really nice, rocked out to some Ghost (Rats, Con Clavi Con Dio, Cirice, Faith, in that order, I think?) and just chose some side streets off of Saint Laurent. Picked up a “quille” of 10.1% Labatt that the person mentioned wanting to get after she taught me the Quebec slang for those 1.17L, or 40oz dirt cheap big bottles of beer. Can’t call them 40s here, different system of measurement, can now call them quille. Seems astounding it took me this long to learn the term for it. Also got some Unibroue beers to “balance out” the pond scum that is 10.1 Labatt, even though it seems like my best friends here and I all concur that 10.1 Labatt is strangely delicious? Like we’d voluntarily, and do voluntarily drink it. Ooh, and some Powerade, lemon-lime flavour, my favourite. I’ve always preferred Powerade to Gatorade in terms of taste for as long as I can remember. You may be asking, “George, that’s a lot of liquids, why did you even get the Powerade, that’s just sugar water.” You’re right, but I just got my pay stubs from the last two weeks so I know how much I made so I was like, “you can go crazy, it’s the weekend before Halloween, do it, loser.” And you know what??? I DID IT. Going to eat a turkey sandwich now. Internal monologue repeating, “a nicely stocked fridge means a nicely stocked mind.” Hehe. Eheheheh.

#liveblog #blog #writing

[lookingglasstheatre]

1. What are you listening to right now? “Kill V. Maim” by Grimes

2. What song makes you sad? I have a whole playlist called “I Used to Know You, But Now We’re Strangers” composed entirely of songs that remind me of exes or old friends I’m not longer in contact with..

“Gimme Danger” by The Stooges is a big one, along with “Everlong” by The Foo Fighters, which both remind me of very specific relationships. But, my pick for this is “Farther” by Third Eye Blind.. it could apply to a lot of different people..

“And I think about you dying years from now never having known who you are […] All I think about is waiting and all the people we are fading into Farther from you every day..” - “Farther” Third Eye Blind

3. What is the most annoying song in the world? Songs aren’t usually annoying to me unless they’re overplayed. I don’t know, no song is annoying me at the moment. Maybe that song “We Are Young” by fun. I’m not even sure it’s annoying, I just hate it.

4. Your all time favorite band? The Birthday Massacre, probably. That would be the most unique pick. Or Elliott Smith, if that counts.

5. Your newly discovered band is? The Regrettes. It’s amazing to me that Lydia Night is like 16 years old. I hope those kids keep killing it. Good luck to them.

6. Best female voice? Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star has an amazing voice. I wish I sounded even a little bit like her.

7. Best male voice? So, I don’t think he’s the best.. but holy shit, Ville Valo from HIM has a sexy voice. It’s so sexy as to almost make you forget how cheesy HIM lyrics are. Almost.

8. Music type you find yourself listening to most? Pop music, probably.. and shitty punk rock, lol.

9. What do you listen to, to hype you up? Depends on what I’m getting hyped up for. “Bubblegum Bitch” by Marina and The Diamonds for going out and looking pretty. All of Enema of the Sate by Blink-182 for energy in the morning. Kanye for working out. Aesthetic Perfection when I’m about to hit up a goth club, hah.

10. What do you listen to when you want to calm down? Belle and Sebastian, Slowdive, Radiohead, Lana Del Rey

11. Last gig/concert you went to? My friend’s band, Sleepsnack.

12. Band you find yourself listening to the most right now? My taste shifts once the weather gets warm so; Blink-182, Fountains of Wayne, Sufer Blood, Wavves, Third Eye Blind, My Chem’s Danger Days record.

13. Most hated band? I don’t listen to music I hate unless it’s inflicted upon me by other people against my will. So I’m not good with naming bands I don’t like. As far as bands I hate for personal or political reasons.. I hate ANY band that harasses or condones the harassment of women or minorities.

14. Song that makes you think? “Romeo’s Distress” by Christian Death. It’s such a great fucking track, but I want to believe that it’s anti-white supremacist, instead of the other way around… I have read the lyrics over and over trying to figure out if Roz Williams was actually just racist. I want to believe it was written mostly for the shock value and ultimately a song just telling a story and issuing a kind of warning.. but who knows for sure.. [sigh]

15. Band that you think the world should love as much as you do? I’m always kind of surprised more people I meet aren’t more familiar with Sneaker Pimps or IAMX’s early records. Chris Corner is kind of a hero of mine.

16. Coolest music video? Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” and the video for Death Cab for Cutie’s “Title and Registration.” “All I Full of Love” by Bjork. There are probably a bunch more I’m forgetting. All Grimes music videos.

17. Music video with the most watch? This question is phrased weirdly. But if you’re asking what music video I’ve watched the most… Malice Mizer’s “Illuminati.” Definitely. LOL. Along with Velvet Eden’s “SAD MASK.” Oh god, KALM flailing around in awful CG fire is what I LIVE for.

18. What do you play/would you play in the bedroom to spice things up? Souvlaki by Slowdive. With candles lit, after smoking together.

19. Ever been in a mosh pit? No. I would die. Look at the fucking size of me. I am a delicate doll.

20. Are you in a band? Nope. Someone start an all-girl Ramones and/or Blink-182 cover band with me.

21. Ever dated a musician? “Dated” would be kind of a strong word for it, but I had an ongoing casual thing with a guitarist in a band.

22. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician? Yes, but only because I wish I were any good at playing one of the myriad of instruments I’ve tried to learn. I wouldn’t want to be famous though.

23. Best all chick band you know of? Sleater-Kinney.

24. Last song that you heard on the radio/cd…etc…? I haven’t listened to the radio in a long, long time. I haven’t bought a CD in many years. If you’re counting any kind of physical media, I’m spinning an LP on my turntable right now; it’s Blink-182’s Enema of The State and “Anthem” just finished playing.

32. What do you think of Classical music? Eh, I can understand why some people find it boring. My mother was a classical pianist and I grew up listening to a lot of classical music. I just developed a taste for it after many years, I guess.

33. What do you think of Country music? It reminds me of growing up in Texas. There will always be at least one or two country songs I like - a lot of which reminds me of middle school dances and crying in the bathroom alone because my crush didn’t like me back. And everyone likes at least one Johnny Cash song.

34. What do you think of metal? I like it. I can only take so much screaming, to be honest.. but some bands I really love can be classified as metal.

35. Last BIG band that you saw live? Blink-182.

36. Are you a groupie? Nope.

37. Do you listen to music in foreign languages? I used to listen to a LOT of J-Rock. I also listen to music in Korean, German, Romanian, and French.

38. What famous musician would you like to “spend the night with”!?

Woman; Lauren Mayberry of Chvrches. She’s a great front woman and so, so cute.

Man; I’d say Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance, but I feel weird about it because he’s also married to another super-crush of mine; Lindsey from Mindless Self Indulgence… so maybe Elliott Smith when he was still alive. I get a strong impression that he respected women.

39. Worst concert moment? Any time someone drunkenly falls all over me and/or hits me. It always seems to happen. Also when I saw Kaya live with my sister there was a guy trying to hit on her the entire time and I felt really bad that I didn’t exactly notice until we were out of the show.

40. Funny concert moment? When I went to see Marina and The Diamonds there was a guy next to me with his boyfriend and right in front of us was a woman with her teenage son. At some point they lit up a joint and offered some to the mom (who honestly looked kind of square) and she and them got high together. It was pretty amusing watching them chill together.

41. Sad concert moment? I went to see IAMX with a boyfriend, who I loved very much, but he didn’t really know the band. A few rows back, my ex (who I had just recently broken up with) was there with a coworker. I was sad we’d gotten to a point where we couldn���t go together or hang out anymore because we have really similar taste in music and that concert was amazing and I was sad not to be able to hang out with him during it.

42. Best local act you can think of? King Woman is originally from this area, I think.

43. If you were a musical instrument what would you be? Vocalist. I suck at everything else. In a perfect world I’d be the guitarist or keys.

44. Do you listen to the radio? Honestly, no, and I haven’t since grade school, really.

45. Do you watch music TV? I don’t have cable.

46. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40? I did in grade school, but I haven’t really paid attention to music charts since then.

47. Have you meet any famous musicians? Met Kaya at an autograph session at Anime USA. It was at the peak of my Kaya obsession. He told me I was pretty. It was awesome.

48. Are any of your friends/family/etc. musicians? My mom was a piano teacher. My dad is basically tone deaf, haha.

49. Song that best describes your feelings right now? “I Really Like You” by Carly Rae Jepson.

50. Song that describes your life? The ENTIRE record Froot by Marina And the Diamonds. ESPECIALLY “I’m a Ruin” “Blue” and “Forget” and “Weeds”.. and “Immortal” Yeah, I can’t pick just one song… The whole record. Just listen to the whole thing and you’ll understand me, haha. Which I realize, does not paint me in a very flattering light.. but it’s accurate.

“Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self esteem” -Blue

“Cause I have lived my life in debt I’ve spent my days in deep regret Yeah, I’ve been living in the red But I wanna forgive and forget” -Forget

“I miss all of my exes They’re the only ones that know me And God knows that sex is A way to feel a bit, a little bit less lonely Yeah, I tried to keep it covered up Yeah, I thought I cut him at the root But now I think my time is up Cause he keeps growing back Like weeds” - Weeds

51. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to? Not even remotely. There are some exceptions, but for the most part, no.

52. Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a part? A part in what? I think it plays a role in how popular they become. As far as it playing a role in how much I like them, I appreciate bands with a strong aesthetic, but it’s hardly necessary. Some of my favorite bands I wouldn’t even be able to recognize if I saw a photo of.

53. What famous musician do you want to marry? I don’t think someone’s musical output is a good way to gauge their marriageability..

54. Favourite movie soundtrack? The Scott Pilgrim vs The World OST.

55. Any musician pet hates? Any time musicians are arrogant enough to insult other musician’s work just for their own credibility. Like, you’re not cool for hating pop music, my dude. >_>

56. What do your parents listen to? My mother listens to mostly classical music, my dad likes James Taylor and Joni Mitchell

57. What are you listening to right NOW? Private Affair by The Virgins. I fucking love this song.

58. Do you wear band etc T-shirts? I hate wearing band t-shirts with a fiery passion of a thousand suns with VERY rare exceptions.

59. What do you think of people who do? I’m usually pretty.. not into those people. Like, hate is a strong word… but I’m really into fashion. Band t-shirts are like a really lazy way of expressing yourself to me. And they’re almost always printed on really boxy, non-soft material. Everyone wants to fight me on this.. I just don’t care for them.

60. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to? None? I always dressed too goth to really feel like I belong in the punk scene even though that was primarily what I was listening to in high school. I guess goth, but I don’t get along with or have much in common with most of the generic goths I know and I listen to too much pop for them. Is the indie-synthpop scene a thing..?

61. What song is stuck in your head right now? The theme song to Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

62. Do you sing in the shower? When I was a kid I would drag my giant boom box in the the bathroom with me and listen to it while taking a bath; mostly audiobooks, but sometimes music. I usually didn’t sing along though.

63. If so, what? If not, why not? Not sure? I sing in the car a lot. If music is on and I know the words and I’m alone, I’m singing.

66. How important is your partners taste in music to you? I’m really open about music, so whatever they are into I’ll probably get into as well. If we already share a taste in music we can discover more together, which is really fun. As long as they don’t HATE my music, it’s fine.

67. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to beat them up? I’d probably just update my facebook status like, “Hanson lives next door to me. So, there’s that.” And invite them to my next barbecue.

68. Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, you dig? Yes, sometimes, and yes.

69. Do you cook to music? Sometimes, I no longer have speakers right next to the kitchen.

70. Do you sing in the toilet? Nah.