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#like I really enjoy their friendship and am happy to see them have such a healthy relationship
chilschuck · 1 day
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omg… thinking abt chil reconnecting w his ex wife and becoming platonic besties. imagine they talk about it finding love again (chil’s ex has a new gf)… chil realises he’s caught feelings for reader… his ex teasing him about it…
`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ OMG ANON THIS HAD ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET, WAHHHH. SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!!! it’s currently 2 am but i had to get this out for you since you’ve been waiting a while!!! it was so much fun!! <33
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— ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
꒰ info: ꒱ chilchuck x gn!reader
꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw!! some cussing ofc lol
꒰ wc: ꒱ 586
✦ tumblr deleted this before i could post it twice so let’s pray it posts this time, LOL. short but sweet, i hope you enjoy!!! <333
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“So… Who are they?”
That simple question was enough to make him choke on his drink. Was he that easy to read? Catching his breath, the half-foot immediately sputtered.
“What are you talking about?” Yet, the knowing look on her face said it all. Even if they had been separated for this long, she could still figure out just what he was hiding. So much for trying to keep some things personal…
“You have this expression, this content smile I haven’t seen in years, Chilchuck. Someone’s making you happy.” Her tone was not condescending in the slightest, rather content with this new revelation. Her words caused his cheeks to flush, more than the ale in his cup could.
And she was right. He was coming to terms with his feelings; and even the thought of you was enough to make him whole again. The fact it was so obvious was rather embarrassing, and he could feel the tips of his ears burn.
“Yeah, yeah… I guess you figured it out before I got a chance to tell you.”
They were nothing like they used to be, having settled on staying close through friendship. Although this maybe would’ve been hard to do in the past, Chilchuck felt more peaceful than he thinks he has in years. There was something about you that lit fire to his senses in ways he had long forgotten, and he found himself seeking you out more than he’d like to admit.
“I’ve told you plenty about my new girlfriend, now it’s your turn to spill. What are they like? It’s a sight to see you this happy.”
It was something only someone who really knew him could see; the change in his demeanor, the light in his eyes, the smile that threatened to spill from the corners of his lips. And it was all because of you.
“You’re going to laugh when I tell you how I met them,” he began, licking the ale from his lips in thought. “Laios’ party. I really ended up eating my own words about inner party romance, huh?” The last sentence came out in a grumble, one that caused her to laugh.
“Wow, they made you go against your own rules? Must be a keeper.”
And you were. Warm, but not enough to burn. Bright, but not blindingly so. Sweet, but not sickening. Chilchuck found himself feeling like a teenager again when it came to you. He bit his tongue.
“So you’re going to confess to them, right?” She teased, prodding his shoulder. “Look at you, blushing like a schoolboy. Must be serious.”
He opened his mouth to retort, before closing it again. The words died before he could speak, the full gravity of his feelings for you hitting him like a freight train. Burying his head in his arms, he groaned. “Shit…”
Chilchuck was doomed. Yet even as his head spiraled from a mixture of the alcohol and his new found love, it always went back to you. You, and your smiles, and your laugh, and your touch. There weren’t enough curse words he could possibly growl out in this moment to make himself feel better.
His ex wife laughed again, patting him on the back and stirring him from his thoughts. “Jeez, you really are a schoolboy. Maybe you should give them a love letter while you’re at it. Might be smart, actually.”
That’s how the rest of their time together went; two close friends musing about the ability to find love again. All because of you.
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— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3
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ayakinari · 2 years
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regarding the new ep hiyori and lipxlip’s friendship literally means the world to me
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evermore-fashion · 3 months
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Did I make a mistake?
As you're all well aware of I said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr thinking my decision was final. However after reading all your wonderful messages I started to have doubts about my decision. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to pinpoint why I thought I had fallen out of love with high end fashion as well as Tumblr itself and the answer has been in front of my face for the best part of four years. A broken down friendship that has been plaguing my mental health… until recently and I'm going to finally explain why. I had a best friend for the best part of 15 years that went downhill both slowly and unexpectedly. We met on a forum back in 2005 and hit it off instantly. We then met up and went on various holidays, attended concerts together, did mini weekend breaks away and got to know each other's families really well. More importantly they were the only person in my life who knew about this blog and shared my love for high end fashion. Like most friendships though it had its ups and downs but no matter what we always gravitated back towards one another, until March 2020. A week or so before COVID and lockdown took hold of our lives they told me they had met someone. I was genuinely happy for them, except for the fact they had let slip that I was the last person to know. This broke my heart and their trust as they continued to let slip more details that indicated that I was being pushed out in favour of a new crowd (aka university friends who they had told me they disliked a few months beforehand) alongside their new partner. They stayed with their partner on and off throughout COVID and I was either pushed out the door or let back in depending on their relationship status. The relationship came to an end for good towards the end of 2022 and as always I was let back into their life with plans for 2023 being made. However I held back knowing the hurt it would cause me if things suddenly changed again. This was also my breaking point with them as I wanted to protect my heart from anymore hurt, and I believe this is where my love for creativity began to faulter. Whilst I found my love for gaming I felt this mental block around Evermore-Fashion and Evermore-Grimoire which I thought was down to my passions changing. I was clearly wrong. The friendship was up and down for another six months, until last summer. They had got back in contact with me despite the fact they had started acting cold towards me which manifested in a crap Christmas and Birthday. Yet I was still willing to hear their side of the story, but it never came as they ghosted me and I haven't spoken to them since which hasn't been fun to deal with both mentally and emotionally. Although I now fully believe this is what was killing my spirit and everything I had loved for so long. Anyway fast forward to January 2024, I've said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr when lo and behold I come across a social media post that changed everything. The ex friend had written something personal that contradicted everything they had told me (over their relationship break up) which not only angered me but it lit a fire under my butt to stop stewing in the "what ifs?" as well as holding on to a small bit of hope that they'd finally apologise for treating me like a piece of shit on the back of their shoe for so long. Not only that but I started to miss why I enjoyed being online in the first place. I checked out Vogue to see what was occurring during Paris Fashion Week and I yearned to share the Spring 2024 Couture collections on Tumblr (even though I still think it's still a toxic cesspit). Yes I could easily start this up on Wordpress or Instagram but let's face it, Tumblr is still the easiest place to start blogging creatively. So here I am. The fog surrounding my love for fashion has lifted alongside the mental and emotional baggage I've been holding on to for far too long. There's just one thing I'm still wondering though… do you guys forgive me (as I feel like I've messed you all around ) and is it okay to come back? 🥹
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I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.
A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.
However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.
I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."
I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.
I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.
While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.
I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.
Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.
AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.
What are these acronyms?
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leclercmode · 6 months
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happy birthday ☁️ charles leclerc
summary: posts for charles’ birthday through the years.
notes: hope u guys enjoy it!! :)
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 17.972 others
ynusername i really hope you have the best of birthdays, char. always rooting for you! be happy, always.
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charles_leclerc thank you, i am very grateful for your support and friendship 🥰
❤️ by author
user1 it's so cute how yn has always been there for charles
user2 there's nothing better than friends to lovers
user3 thank you for giving us these photos, yn!!!!
user4 @user3 she literally posted the best old pictures of charles
user5 “be happy, always” 😭💔😭💔😭💔
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 23.082 others
ynusername the birthday boy! happy birthday il predestinato - keep killing it and paving the way for the rest of us. always proud of you.
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charles_leclerc i would be nothing without you!
user6 @charles_leclerc wow!! a romantic.
user7 i just remember charles saying that he was in love with yn, but that he disguised it so she wouldn't notice. IS THAT DISGUISING IT?
user8 they were so in love with each other and only they themselves couldn't see it
user9 THE 2ND PIC
user10 i love them sm
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 35.628 others
ynusername happiest birthday to you my other half, you deserve every bit of the amazing stuff coming your way. thank you for every single moment! 🤍
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charles_leclerc cannot live without you
user11 i love how yn has always been behind the scenes
user12 “i would be nothing without you” to “cannot live without you”
user13 @user12 I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE
user14 @user12 😭😭😭😭😭
user15 i love their moments together
ynusername has added to their story
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ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 48.972 others
ynusername pretty glad you were born. happy birthday, char.
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charles_leclerc i love you so so much! everyday im reminded of how im the luckiest guy in the world to have you in my life.
user16 @charles_leclerc CHARLES OMG IM CRYING
arthur_leclerc my favorite people in the world, i love to see you making each other happy 🤍
user17 loving the whole fandom stalking yn's birthday posts for charles
user18 @user17 FR!!! they are so cute.
user19 they were already dating? (new to the charles’ fandom here)
user20 @user19 yes!!! this post is from 2022, charles said they had their first kiss in 2018 and started dating in 2019.
user21 yn and charles are so in love with each other and i'm in love with their relationship
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 130.727 others
ynusername il predestinato, my ferrari boy and my char! countless nights i have dreamed about our future together. you are the man of my dreams, and i am so happy that you are not only my boyfriend but also my best friend. from the moment we met, i knew we were destined to be together forever. i cannot wait for the day where we get to grow old and frail together. i love you. happy birthday 🤍
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charles_leclerc you are my one and only, i love you so much!
user22 im so happy that they have each other
user23 “and i am so happy that you are not only my boyfriend but also my best friend” IM CRYING
carlossainz55 😍😍
arthur_leclerc love you guys !! 😘
user24 this couple is masterpiece
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drowning-in-neon · 2 years
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yeah it’s another vent in the tags post sorry lmao ill try and spam reblog stuff to make up for it
#vents#i've just been missing a lot lately. like. memories and places and people and shit.#i really miss my cat#but i also miss seph (name changed for privacy) like. a lot. and that's almost worse than missing my cat#because at least with her; yeah of course i miss her and it's normal even if it sucks ass but with seph; missing them is almost worse#because i also end up so pissed off that i miss them because jesus christ. i love them so godamn much and things aren't the way they used to#be; which is arguably a good thing - they've grown so much and have come so far and are living their best life and i'm happy for them#for that; but despite still seeming to want to be friends they don't feel the way they used to for me and they are allowed not to but it#fucking hurts like hell to be the one who still loves him so goddamn much and somehow be unable to get over it. like. i want to get over him#so bad; so i can just let myself be friends with him without all sorts of little things reminding me of the pain but nothing seems to work#i've tried going on dates with other people and just generally trying to see other people; i've tried journaling and i've tried all sorts of#shit and nothing works. and i can't bring myself to step away either because like. one i don't think it's gonna work because even#though seph has BPD spells where he splits and blocks everyone on social media - sometimes for months on end - it never#helped; i still felt exactly the same after a separation like that. so even that doens't work and even if it did work i wouldn't want to do#it because i'm just. i'm afraid i'll lose them. i'm afraid thta one of these separations; whether by him or by me; it'll be the last time#hell i just went to instagram and found out that his account was private and i somehow wasn't following him anymore so i'm assuming i just#missed another split. but he genuinely seems to want to stay friends; if only for the fact he always comes back. despite how many people he#has simply blocked and not brought back after a social media blackout; i've stayed. i genuinely believe he wants to be friends and i am#okay with that; i want that too; i don't want to imagine a world that he isn't in. but it hurts. i don't try and force it because that's#fucked up but even so; it's hard to let myself enjoy a friendship when i'm still heartbroken that it isn't the same connection we used to#have. i wish i could just forget but i can't; every time i think i've gotten over him; every time i think 'oh hey i havent been#in much pain about seph lately; i think i've finally moved on hell yeah' my stupid brain is like SYKE lmao you dumbass you really thought#you were done? nope every little fucking thing reminds you of him and it's gonna still hurt because like. fuck you that's why#and some nights i just can't stop thinking about all the littlest damn things. the way he took a greyhound nine hours just to come visit me#in person for the first time after we connected so deeply on fucking faecbook dating of all places; the way we were so awkward#sitting at a booth in a pizza and bar combo place that night; the way he would tease me about how i tasted like castor oil because i was#trying to solve a bad case of chapped lips but even so he couldn't stop kissing me; the way his eyes sparkled every time he got passionate#about music; sitting at his feet while he wrote a short poem in golden marker on my brand new guitar#and it. it just hurts. and i wish it was the way it used to be. but i also don't because he's so much healthier now. i guess i just wish i#could have the good stuff but not keep the bad. i dunno. it just hurts. i miss him so fucking much and i hate it.
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harryslittlefreakk · 15 days
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obsessed
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summary: harry is your roommate, best friend … and crush 💃 he’s finally broken up with his girlfriend and you’re struggling to hide how you feel about him. loosely based on the song!!
warnings: none! fluffy fluff, teeny tiny bit of angst, mentions nudity
wordcount: 2.7k
a/n: i am a loud & proud olivia rodrigo stan sooo naturally i had to write something. it’s silly and cheesy and short! but i hope you enjoy!!
you can find my masterlist here and join my taglist here!! happy reading my loves 💖
“Guess who I saw today?”
“Who?” You didn’t even need to look up from your book to know Harry was about to throw himself down on the end of your bed, his coat and shoes still on. Every time you got home before him he’d bound into your room like a little labrador, too excited to see you to even drop his stuff down first.
“No, you have to guess.”
“Could’ve been anyone, H,” you told him, feigning reluctance as you closed your book and looked up at him. The second you heard his key rattling in the door you’d wait for the sound of your door bursting open, the butterflies in your stomach coming to life. But you’d never let him know that, so every day you’d pretend it was an annoyance to have him perched at your feet.
“Think of someone you really don’t like,” he persisted, a toothy grin nestled between his dimpled cheeks.
“Literally could be anyone.”
“Come on! Blonde hair, tall, pretty…”
Of fucking course. His stupid, evil, awful ex girlfriend. And naturally, the only way you could react to hearing about her was to reach over and shove him before crossing your arms over your chest. “Ow! What was that for?” Harry laughed, rubbing at his upper arm.
“I was having such a nice day. And then you have to come in and mention that.” It was massively childish, but you couldn’t help but feel violent every time you heard about her. She was fine for the most part, maybe a little too conceited for your taste, but she’d made Harry happy. But you’d watched from the outside as Harry went through relationships, and he always morphed into whatever version of himself he thought the girl would prefer. He stopped being your Harry, and your friendship would suffer for it. But you couldn’t say anything, could never treat his girlfriends with anything but a polite smile and quick conversation, unless you wanted to out yourself as a jealous little girl. And you definitely didn’t want to do that.
This time, however, the ability to hate her had been handed to you on a silver platter when she decided to go home with one of Harry’s friends on a night out. You were his shoulder to cry on, the one to make him smile again after days of moping around. So you had full permission to hate her, and you were relishing in it - as much as you could while still tiptoeing around Harry’s aching heart.
“She wants to meet for a coffee this week,” he told you, scrunching his eyes tight as he waited for another shove. When nothing came, he squinted over to see you rubbing at your temples. “Are you gonna?” you asked, brows furrowed as you imagined the two of them back together.
“Am I allowed?” Harry teased, turning round to lay on top of you, his face only inches from yours. “You’re a grown man, H. Couldn’t stop you even if I wanted to,” you told him, your voice void of any emotion.
“Dunno if it’s a good idea. She might find me too irresistible and then I’ll have to deal with that,” he grinned, not noticing the change in your face. You looked down as you felt your lip start to quiver, too proud to show how your heart sank. “I need to shower, H. Dinner after?” you asked, slipping out from under him and dragging your heavy limbs towards the door. He looked over at you with round, questioning eyes, only to be met by silence and a weak smile as you headed for the bathroom.
You barely got the door shut behind you before the tears came, hot and heavy drops rolling down your cheeks. You knew you couldn’t have Harry, but every minute spent with him had your heart breaking over and over again. Every little cuddle, every touch, lit you up with a fire that burned to the bones. But then you’d see the way he acts with a girlfriend, the way he loved someone, and all those moments you shared seemed silly and infantile. He was your best friend, nothing more and nothing less.
You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as the sobs wracked your body. You’d tried so hard to push away the feelings, to convince yourself that you were just confused and overwhelmed. He’s a friend, he’s a friend, he’s a friend, echoing around your mind. But deep down, you knew that no one could ever compare to Harry. He was yours, the only one to ever steal a piece of your heart.
“Y/n? M’coming in.” You froze as Harry’s voice came from the other side of the door, clamping a hand over your mouth to hold the sobs in. “I’m naked,” you called out, scrambling to your feet and wiping away your tears with your sleeve. But he opened the door anyway, stopping in the doorway when he saw your tear-stained face. “Didn’t even turn the shower on yet,” he muttered, glancing over at it.
“Why’re you crying?”
“M’not,” you whispered, choking out a giant sob as you turned your face away from Harry, sinking down onto the edge of the bath.
“Quite clearly are. Move,” he ordered, swatting you away before reaching to turn on the taps.
“What are you-”
“If you’re sad, I’m sad. And I like having a bath when I’m sad,” Harry shrugged, turning around to grab one of your bath bombs.
“I was gonna shower, you can’t-”, between the sobs, your confusion and the need for Harry not to know why you were crying, you could barely string a sentence together.
And when Harry pulled off his t-shirt, you were even more lost for words, left with your mouth gaping and only air coming out. “Joining me?” he asked, tipping too much bubble bath into the steamy water - something you’d have to scold him for later.
“I’m not getting in with you,” you told him, once you’d finally got a grip on your brain.
“Just get under the bubbles. And you can close your eyes when I get in.”
“No way.” You hugged your arms over your chest, drawing your swollen bottom lip into your mouth as you watched a shirtless Harry mix the bubble bath into the water. The way his muscles flexed, the tattoos littered across his tanned, slender frame. His skin always looked perfect, not Barbie doll smooth but irresistibly soft. Your fingers took on a mind of their own, slowly reaching out to touch him before he turned around with a smug grin. “Fine, go away then while I have my nice relaxing bath.”
“I want a bath,” you whispered, barely audible over the running water splashing into the tub. “What was that, angel?” Harry grinned, moving his towel onto the toilet seat. “I want a bath,” you told him, louder now, a tiny smile dancing on your lips.
Harry grabbed a hold of one of your hands, tugging you closer to the bathtub. He turned you around before pulling your t-shirt over your head, leaving you in just your little pyjama shorts. Just the brush of his fingertips against your bare torso sent chills down your spine. “M’not looking. Tell me when you’re in,” Harry told you, dropping your t-shirt to his feet.
You pushed your pyjama shorts and panties down your legs, checking behind you to see if Harry really wasn’t watching. True to his word, he had his eyes scrunched tight and his hand clenched over them. You’d seen each other in bathing suits and underwear so many times before, but being naked in the same room as Harry felt beyond weird. You’d never been overly shy about your body, especially with someone who made you feel as pretty and as comfortable as Harry did, but this would add a whole new layer to your friendship - and you didn’t know if you’d survive it. Still, you sunk into the bathtub and pulled the mass of bubbles to your end, trying to keep your breasts under the water before you told Harry he can look. “It’s really hard to make bubbles stay put, H,” you told him, screwing up your face as you tried to hold them steady.
He was laughing as he pulled his trousers and socks off, great big guffaws tumbling out every time the bubbles tried to escape your grip. “Want me to turn the lights down a bit? Then it’s harder to see,” he shrugged, nodding towards the light switch. You nodded, grateful that he cared enough to make sure you were 100% comfortable. It was one of the things that first drew you to Harry, and definitely what you valued most about him. He was always so kind, always caring, so willing to put anyone’s needs above his own - and that’s why relationships always changed him.
“Close your eyes then,” he said, mockingly holding two hands in front of his bulge. You rolled your eyes, finally starting to lighten up as the hot water washed over you. When Harry reached out to swat at your nose, you closed your eyes tight. You felt him stepping into the bathtub after a minute, his long legs slotting down your left-hand side.
“Hi,” he smiled when you opened your eyes. “Gonna tell me what upset you now?”
“It’s really not a big deal,” you told him, your voice small.
“It is if it made you that upset,” Harry countered, placing a gentle hand on your calf, his thumb rubbing against the soft skin.
You paused for a moment, trying to think of what you wanted to say and how to say it. “It just- she doesn’t deserve you, H. Anyone who hurts you like that doesn’t deserve any of your time and respect.” Your eyes dropped to the water as you spoke, your body frozen. Harry opened his mouth to reply, but as soon as he did, you needed to say more. “You were really sad, Harry. It sucked for you and it sucked for me too because I don’t like seeing you like that. I’ll always be there for you, you know that, but I can’t just sit and wait for her to hurt you like that again. Not when you know she’s capable of it.”
You watched the smaller bubbles popping one by one by one, suddenly anxious in the silence that followed your speech. You hated going against Harry, putting your two cents into something that really didn’t concern you, but sometimes he needed to hear it.
“I know,” he replied finally. “But do you think that because you don’t like her?”
“Harry, no! I don’t like her because she did that to you.”
“You were never her biggest fan,” he shrugged, his brows knitted when you finally pulled your eyes up to meet his.
“She changed you, H. You were different with her, less you. Everything is so surface level with her, it’s looks and Instagram likes and who’s got trouble with who. There’s no substance, nothing deeper.”
Harry’s thumb halted as he shook his head, his jaw clenching slightly. “It doesn’t always have to be deeper,” he sighed, rubbing at his chin with his free hand.
“I know it’s not my place but you need someone who brings out the best in you, you need-”
A bitter laugh from Harry stopped you in your tracks, your mouth snapping closed as a chuckle slipped out of his. He met your questioning gaze with a tiny smirk. “She always used to say you were jealous of her.”
You could feel the tears collect on your bottom eyelashes again as he said it, the words stinging like barbed wire sinking into your skin. How could you even respond? “Harry-” was all you could manage before your mouth ran dry.
“I don’t wanna fight with you, y/n,” he told you, his voice soft as he reached out for your hand. “Come here,” he whispered, tugging at your fingertips. “I’m- we-” you started, gesturing between your bare bodies with your free hand, eyes practically bulging out of your head. “Doesn’t matter,” Harry said, motioning for you to turn around.
Somewhat reluctantly, you did, leaning back into his body until your back hit your chest. You were exposed in every sense, your chest sitting just above the waterline and your heart on your sleeve. Harry wrapped an arm around your torso, his delicate touch careful not to go anywhere it shouldn’t.
“Truth is I probably need someone like you. Only one to make me happy on a shitty day, only one who gives me any effort,” he murmured, his voice so low that if he wasn’t speaking directly into your ear, you wouldn’t have heard him. Your heart quickened as he spoke, your pulse pounding against your inner wrists. “I’m not- I don’t have anything that she-” you choked out.
“S’a good thing, no?” Harry asked, turning his head just slightly until his lips brushed tentatively against your earlobe. “No, Harry. You need more, you need-”
“You,” he finished for you. “Just say the word and I’m yours, angel.”
It was like someone had handed you everything you ever wanted on a silver platter, all you had to do was reach out and take it. But it wasn’t that easy. If anything went south, you risked losing Harry forever. You shuffled back out of his grip, turning to sit in front of him, perched on your knees. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care about him seeing your body, your words willing themselves from your lips. “If anything went wrong Harry, I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered, blinking to keep the tears at bay.
“What would go wrong? We know we get along, we have the same traits and the same values. We’re already doing life together,” he reached out a hand to cup your cheek as he spoke, his eyes laced with nothing but earnestness.
“I don’t want to be your consolation prize.”
“Never. Never ever, I swear. I thought about it for a while but it never really clicked until now.”
You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as Harry spoke, desperately needing to figure out if it was all a dream. The sensation of his touch, the sound of his voice, the gentle heat of the water – it all felt too real to be a dream. But a part of you couldn't shake the feeling that this moment was too perfect, too surreal to be true. You hesitated, unsure if you should dare to believe in the fairytale unfolding between the two of you.
As if he could see the cogs turning in your head, Harry dropped his hand from your cheek, entwining your fingers in yours instead. He squeezed lightly, the corners of his lips turning up into a little smile. "I'm here, y/n," he whispered. "This is real, promise." His words were a lifeline in the sea of doubt that threatened to consume you. Even if it was a dream, it was a dream you never wanted to wake up from.
“It’s all I ever wanted,” you confessed, allowing yourself to give into the fantasy for at least a little while. You fought the urge to search for the hidden cameras, check the date to make sure it wasn’t an April Fools prank. Harry was a goof, but you were a thousand percent sure he wouldn’t play with your feelings like that.
“Just say the word,” he repeated, his husky voice laced with sincerity and longing.
“I want this,” you whispered, clutching onto Harry’s hand as if you could fall off the Earth at any minute. His face erupted into a grin so cheesy that you couldn’t help but mirror it, eyes locked onto his as he closed the distance between the two of you.
Harry’s lips met yours softly, as if he were waiting for the other shoe to drop. But you melted into him, the air nearly knocked out of your lungs by the urgency and desire behind his soft movements. He pulled away after a minute, his forehead pressed to yours as he searched your eyes for any sign that you wanted to stop. Although all Harry was met with was a sparkle in your gaze, and a further few pecks landing on his lips. “Should’ve done this a long time ago,” he murmured against your mouth, his hands splaying across your back. “Should’ve done it before you got me naked,” you teased, succumbing once again to his kiss.
rrrr i really don’t know how i feel about this but i wanted to get something out
taglist: @angeldavis777 @softestqueeen @jerseygirlinca @palmettogal508 @drewsephrry @vonnexann @austiebuttbutt @indigo24hughes @peterparkerbae @im-an-overthinker @daphnesutton @loveableidioticweirdo @harryshotpocket @thegrapejuiceblues1982 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swag13r @ashleighsss @tswiftsgf @chesthairrry @nikkisimps @hannah9921 @lilfreakjez @prettygurl-2009 @s-h-e-l-b-e-e @indierockgirrl @cicicavill7
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haetrack · 2 months
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HOW IT ALL GOES | MASTERLIST
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there are millions of love songs in the world. though they all speak of the same thing, they’re not all the same. love can be happy, sad, exciting, or just shown physically. love is different for everyone. there’s a song for every story, for every person who experiences love.
starring: haechan, mark, jaehyun, jaemin, and renjun!
general warnings: fluff, angst, and smut (not all fics will contain smut, so minors be aware!) fics will be tagged with their specific warnings! general yearning, heartbreak, happy and sad endings
note: the fics are not connected to each other! they can be read as stand alone fics but i hope you stay to read them all! synopses and tags might be changed during the writing process!
side note: if you would like to be tagged, please send in an ask or comment on this post!
I. (lucky for you) we’re just friends
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best friend!haechan x reader
synopsis: haechan is someone who always gets what he wants. he’s willing to do anything, but now, he realizes, he doesn’t know what to do. will you, his best friend of many years, let him step into your life where he hasn’t before? do you think about him as much as he does you? or will it all slip away, along with all his memories with you. (angst, little fluff)
side a: like a friend - pulp
side b: now playing
II. no clue
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one night stand!mark lee x reader
synopsis: when mark realizes how long it’s been since he’s gotten laid, he rushes out to a party. he’s quick to find someone, rushing into a room without really thinking about it. when he sees you laid under him, it clicks that he might just like you, a stranger. he tries looking for you all over campus, wanting to talk to you. how long will it take for you both to meet? do you even want to meet him? (smut, fluff, little angst)
side a: tongues - the frights
side b: now playing
III. your fate, my karma
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fwb!jaehyun x reader
synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you, more importantly, the friendship he has with you. he can’t help it, not with how you look at him, how you smile, how you feel. it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret. (smut, angst, little fluff)
side a: somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra
side b: flip over?
IV. can it last forever?
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boyfriend!jaemin x reader
synopsis: after many successful dates, jaemin finally asked to be your boyfriend. you were so happy in the beginning, but doubts begin to fill your head. jaemin is a loving boyfriend, but you can’t help but wonder if you deserve him. did you go into this too fast? what if this is all you have? will you be able to make him happy? (fluff, angst, suggestive)
side a: valentine - laufey
side b: flip over?
V. all to myself
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acquaintance!renjun x reader
synopsis: renjun hates how all you’ve been doing is talking about another man. usually, he wouldn’t really mind. but now, he realizes the only reason why he hates it is because he likes you. you’re a friend of a friend, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to get closer to you if all you’re thinking about someone else. (fluff, smut)
side a: eastside - daisy
side b: flip over?
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a/n: im so excited for this series HOORAY!!! i hope u guys are as excited as i am when i start releasing them :3 i also recommend listening to the songs i put!! the fics were inspired by them and lay out the overall feel i want the fics to have! enjoy reading :p
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goldsainz · 9 months
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OVER THE YEARS — one shot.
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pairing: oscar piastri x reader
MASTERLIST.
request: “omg hi i have a request for oscar piastri a social media au something showing their friendship over the years maybe through b'day posts/something else (you decide) basically like childhood friend to lovers social media au pls !”
NOTE: first oscar piece ever!! the format of this is a bit diff but that’s just bc it’s kind of only insta… thank you sm for requesting, i hope that this is what you wanted and enjoy! (this has no faceclaim btw)
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APRIL 06, 2019
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liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri and 2,687 others
yourusername HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND WHO JUST TURNED 18!!!! cannot believe i’ve known you for 12 of those years…
view all 40 comments
oscarpiastri Was the last picture really necessary…
⤷ yourusername yes, yes it was 😁
oscarpiastri I was a pretty cute kid actually
liked by yourusername
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APRIL 06, 2020
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liked by arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 3,185 others
yourusername 19 years old and he’s still acting like he’s 10!! oh also, happy birthday 🥳
view all 56 comments
oscarpiastri Was the happy birthday an afterthought or…?
⤷ yourusername was i really that obvious?
⤷ oscarpiastri I see how it is then🙄
arthur_leclerc I’m gonna need more of these pictures
⤷ yourusername your wish is my command
⤷ oscarpiastri Y/N NO
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APRIL 06, 2021
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 6,279 others
yourusername selfie time for the birthday boy! 20 has looked better on others, but you’ll get there ❤️
view all 94 comments
oscarpiastri Wow!
oscarpiastri I send you these pics in confidence and they end up on Instagram… Can’t trust anybody😔
⤷ yourusername not really private if they’re in a group chat🤷‍♀️
⤷ oscarpiastri Watch your back for your next birthday post… You never the content I might get
arthur_leclerc You two look really cozy in that second picture!!
⤷ yourusername shut up, frenchie
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APRIL 06, 2022
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liked by carla.brocker, oscarpiastri and 10,836 others
yourusername happy birthday to this guy 🫶
view all 162 comments
oscarpiastri 🫶🫶🫶
liked by yourusername and 10 others
oscarpiastri Will I ever get some decent photos in these posts?
⤷ yourusername hm… no!
oscarfan1 who is she??
⤷ oscarfan2 she’s oscar’s childhood best friend i think
⤷ oscarfan3 i thought she was his gf, cause she’s always in the paddock with him
⤷ oscarfan2 nope, just friends from what i know
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APRIL 06, 2023
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liked by landonorris, zhouguanyu24 and 34,091 others
yourusername happy birthday to my boy friend (my best friend who’s a boy but also my actual boyfriend)!!! you’ve done so much in all these years, you’re even in F1 now, and i’m happy to have been through it all 🤍 i included some good pics but just because the fans need them 😁
view all 512 comments
oscarpiastri Aww… Is the beautiful girl single?
⤷ yourusername no… but you’re pretty cute so call me :)
⤷ oscarpiastri 🙃🙃🙃
oscarpiastri21 how i love them
oscarfan22 THE MCLAREN GLOW UP OMG
landonorris There are children on this app…
⤷ yourusername WE’RE YOUNGER THAN YOU???
⤷ landonorris And yet I have more decorum🙄
oscarpiastri23 they’re so cuteee
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JULY 09, 2023
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liked by oscarpiastri, yukitsunoda and 51,684 others
yourusername P4! there is so much i could say, but all that matters is that i am incredibly proud of all that you achieved and will achieve
view all 775 comments
landonorris If I speak…
⤷ yourusername don’t❤️
oscarfan31 the most unproblematic and cutest couple on the grid
oscarpiastri I love you 🫶
⤷ yourusername I love you 🫶🫶
⤷ oscarpiastri I love you 🫶🫶🫶
oscarfan32 I LOVE THEM SM
oscarfan33 y/n pls know that we love you
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fayes-fics · 4 months
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It's That Time Of Year
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: It's that time of year... when you could use a fake boyfriend.
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, oral sex (m to f), vaginal sex, dirty talk, hand as gag, quiet sex, sex in childhood bedroom. Fake dating, family dynamics, lots of feelings, friends to lovers.
Word Count: 11.3 k (eek Im sorry)
Authors Note: Here's my tropetacular winter 2023 Benepic! Request fill for @broooookiecrisp (HERE), who wanted fake boyfriend trope with Benedict accompanying the reader to the USA to spend Christmas with her family. I hope you like it, my dear. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy and happy holidays! 🎄
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December 20th 
“Thank you,” Benedict clinks his champagne glass against yours, “for everything.”
You blush and look down from his intense blue-eyed gaze, staring instead at the untied bowtie around his collar that seems almost more attractive than when fastened.
“It was nothing,” you demure.
“It was not nothing!” he scoffs, giving you a gentle shoulder bump as you both lean on the high-top table.
“Alright, it was my job then,” you modify, giving him a modest smile as you hotch slightly - beautiful though they are, you cannot wait to take off these high-heels.
“And you are excellent at your job,” he asserts before downing the rest of his champagne and refilling both glasses from the bottle before you. 
He is lingering much longer than you thought he might, long after all his family and all the guests have left. The event was over a while ago, and all around you, the venue staff are clearing tables and stacking chairs.
Tonight was indeed a rousing success. Your first-time event managing the end-of-year fundraising gala for the Bridgerton Family Foundation, they hit a new record amount raised. Standing next to you is the newly minted CEO of that organisation, Benedict Bridgerton, looking far too dashing in his custom-fitted tuxedo. Empathetic and naturally in tune with the needs of others, he is indeed the perfect replacement to run the charitable arm of the family business now that his mother has decided to retire. In previous years, you both took deputy roles - him to his mother, you to your old boss - this was the first year you both stepped up to the plate to run things, and if you do say so yourself, you have both done an excellent job of it. A delightful working partnership built on years of friendship since meeting at university as an exchange student.
“You deserve a long Christmas break after this,” he breezes.
“Going home to the States in a couple of days,” you nod. “I’m both looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure, to be honest,” you confess, this second glass of champagne acting like a truth serum. You didn't want to or even get the chance to drink earlier, but a little tipple to round off the rewarding night is lovely, especially in present company.
“How come?” he seems genuinely curious, his forehead knitting adorably. Of course, he wouldn't understand; he comes from an idyllic family.
“I am very much the black sheep,” you shrug, twirling a finger absent-mindedly around the rim of your glass. “Being childless, unmarried and single at thirty-three in a midwestern family is unheard of and thus the subject of much ridicule.”
“Wow,” his eyebrows shoot up, “that's…,” he hesitates.
“Judgemental? Parochial? Small-minded?” you supply dryly on his behalf.
“I was going to say traditional… but sure, those work too,” he chuckles.
You giggle a little, then sigh. “So a mixed blessing, really. It's nice to see them all; I just wish they were a bit less them, you know?” you gesture vaguely into the air.
“A boyfriend would really take the heat off?” he queries.
“Hah!” you can’t contain the bubble of amusement at the mere thought. “Chance would be a fine thing. But, yes, that likely would take the edge off the worst of their barbs.” 
“Well, I’m at a loose end,” he comments, seemingly changing the subject. “The family is spread to the four corners of the globe this Christmas. Mum is going to Costa Rica for a retired ladies' trip with Lady D. Don't ask,” he adds amusingly, holding up his hands. “Kate and Ant are taking their kids to Lapland, and my various siblings are travelling or staying with partners. Weirdly, it’ll be our first Christmas apart. At least we will all reunite for New Year's at Aubrey Hall.”
“Aww, that sounds nice,” you offer neutrally.
“What I'm saying, y/n, is…,” he continues slowly as if waiting for the penny to drop, “if you need a fake boyfriend, I am available. It’s the very least I can do after all of this,” he explains, gesturing around the room. “Plus, it might be novel to experience a typical American Christmas,” he shrugs casually.
You can’t help it; you gape at him. Completely floored. The idea is utterly left-of-field and yet so exciting your heart pounds. If there is one downside to working so closely with Benedict these last few months, it has been the exponential growth of your inappropriate feelings for him. He is so sweet and handsome; no one would be immune, frankly. It was bad enough when you were at university together; now, well, it’s slightly lethal. Your mind boggles at him playing the role of a doting boyfriend; your body, however, seems very enthused, a warm flush creeping over your skin at the mere thought.
He chuckles nervously, a likely reaction to your stunned silence. “Listen, it was just a silly suggestion; you don’t have t-” 
“Yes!” you squeak, interrupting and grabbing his jacket cuff boldly when he seems to be withdrawing. “Please,” you add almost as an afterthought, unsure how to thank someone for such a generous offer.
His face breaks out into the most handsome grin.
“Excellent! Then, it's a date!” he exclaims, tilting his glass towards yours again. “Well, a fake date,” he amends with a lopsided grin that makes your stomach flip.
Oh god. What am I letting myself in for?!
___
December 23rd
“Are you sure about this? You can still back out...” you offer, fidgeting in the bag-drop queue at Heathrow three days later. 
“Please. What else am I going to do? Sit around my flat, billy-no-mates, and eat a sad M&S ready meal?! You are literally rescuing me,” he counters, probably exaggerating for your amusement.
Very much following the motto of not looking a gift horse in the mouth, you had texted Benedict your flight details that same night, and he has made it all happen in the hours since. Somehow, he managed to wave the Brigerton magic wand and secure what was probably the last seat on your direct flight two days before Christmas. Unluckily for him, he has to slum it in economy with the rest of the plebs like yourself. He couldn't even get a seat near you; he's stuck down the back, in the middle, near the galley.
“How about we swap seats at least?” you offer, guilt creeping in, looking at your printed boarding pass. Not only is Benedict doing you a favour, but he’s also pretzelling his tall self into an uncomfortable seat. The least you can do is offer him your aisle seat.
“I’ll be fine,” he dismisses, waving a hand and fishing out his passport as you are called to the desk.
“Travelling together?” the pretty, painted lady breezes at you, holding out a perfectly manicured hand to take your passport and ticket. Then you watch her practically melt as she claps eyes on Benedict.
Tsk. Typical.
“Not exactl…” you begin.
“Yes,” he cuts in with a winning smile. “Sadly, we couldn't get seats together, though,” he pouts a touch theatrically.
“Oh! Well, let me see what I can do about that… It is Christmas, after all,” she winks at him conspiratorially, then taps on her keyboard.
A few minutes later, your bags are checked in, and you are upgraded to Premium Economy. The lady was apologetic that you still couldn't get seats together but a row apart instead. You are pretty sure if there was space, the handsome bastard would have gotten you upgraded to business without even trying.
Oh, to be a pretty Bridgerton.
___
Twelve hours later, you are in a taxi, tired but grateful for the additional legroom on the flight, even managing a few hours of light napping. Benedict is similarly sleepy, both of your heads lolling around as the car zips down the road. By the time you reach your family home, it’s evening, but to your body clocks, it's the middle of the night.
As you slide out of the taxi, a long arm wraps around your shoulders, and you startle.
“Best to look convincing from the off,” Benedict mutters as he throws his duffle bag on top of your suitcase and trundles them up the path with his other hand.
You nod and dutifully wrap your arm around his waist over his puffer coat, slightly annoyed at how good it feels, as if your arm belongs there. 
“This is so American it's almost a cliche,” he jests, looking up at your parents' house, holiday string lights twinkling in the dusk.
You giggle at his remark and bump him with your hip, quickly escalating into a friendly tussle. He hauls you into his arms and swings you in front of him.
“What are you doing?” you whisper, your limbic system alive at the feel of him pressed into you even behind heavy coats.
“Just go with it,” he responds with an easy confidence and that dazzling smile. As if in slow motion, his lips descend, and you reel as they lightly brush yours, an explosion behind your ribs at this passing touch.
Over your shoulder, you hear the front door opening and realise it’s for show, for a particular audience. You are grateful for the forethought but completely discombobulated from this partial kiss.
How am I going to survive a week of this?
“Mrs y/l/n, Mr y/l/n,” he calls as you linger in his arms, not wanting to turn around just yet.
“Well, hello there. This must be the famous Mr Bridgerton,” your dad's opening line. “We have heard so very little about you. Before yesterday anyway,” he adds, already twisting the knife in early as you pull up to the porch.
“That may well be because I asked her not to,” Benedict rebuts smoothly, releasing you to give a firm handshake. “I love the element of surprise,” he adds with a smile you have seen him deploy before, a weapon’s grade charm offensive.
Your mother’s face is a picture. “Well, well, we certainly didn't expect someone quite so handsome to accompany our daughter,” she drawls, verging on flirtatious. 
Benedict drapes his arm around your shoulders and nuzzles your hair. “Whyever not? She is simply wonderful,” he sighs, his hot breath tickling your scalp before letting you go again.
Damn, he is good at this.
“Hello, mom, dad…” you greet politely before moving in for a short hug from both.
“Happy holidays, darling. Let's get inside,” your mother fusses.
Within a few minutes, after some casual pleasantries are exchanged as you remove coats, you watch your mother give Benedict a tour of their home, including, to your chagrin, your childhood bedroom, which is a time capsule from your teen years. At least the dog-eared band posters have been taken down. As you drift back to the living room, Christmas music plays from a speaker behind the tree. Your family loves to go all out on the holiday decorating. It does feel festive and cosy, though.
“It will be a full house with all of our kids and their spouses staying tonight. So there are no spare rooms. You are on the sofabed in the den, Mr Bridgerton,” your dad comments, gesturing to the room next door; the message very clear.
“That's fine,” Benedict huffs genially, “and please, call me Ben.” 
“I might actually head to bed now,” you admit over a stifled yawn. “My body thinks it's 2am.”
“Same,” Benedict chimes.
“Oh, you should stay up, try to get into the timezone,” your mother clucks, always with an opinion about how you are not doing things how she would. “Ben has not yet been introduced to Tucker, Travis, Tegan and their spouses. They are all still out at dinner…” she indicates, listing your siblings and looking most perturbed at your decision.
“Tomorrow, Mom,” you assure.
“Alright,” she capitulates with a sigh, mostly when she sees Benedict yawn behind his hand. 
“Goodnight…” you offer to all and go to leave the room, but as you get to the door, Benedict stops you with an arm shooting out.
“Don't I get a goodnight kiss, my love?” he pouts.
At first, you look up at him shocked, then a flick of his eyes over your shoulder makes you realise he is continuing the ruse. 
“Maybe,” you flirt back, jetlag somehow making you daring. An ideal excuse to be coquettish, even though your parents likely can't hear your exchange above the music playing. They can certainly see your body language, though.
“Oh, I see. What do I have to do to earn it?” Benedict plays along, a dangerous smile and a large hand low on your lumbar spine, pulling you into him. 
“Tell me you will miss not sleeping next to me,” you boldly request, a little cheeky smile tugging at your lips to see how far he will let you push this.
A long finger swipes a tendril of hair out of your face and behind your ear, a thumb curling under your chin.
“Every night I'm not sleeping next to you is my misfortune,” he replies, sounding wistful, his eyes seeming to burn with something approaching sincerity. It makes your stomach swoop like you are standing on a cliff edge on a windy day.
“Good answer,” you stumble in acknowledgement, pushing up onto your tip toes, heart in your mouth.
“I do what I can,” he answers against your lips and then draws you into a slow, plush kiss. 
His mouth doesn't open, but it doesn't matter; the hint of wetness on his pursed lips has your body reacting, a charge ripping through your being. A sudden yearning for him to push you against the wall and plunder your mouth with his tongue. When he withdraws, you know your pupils are blown wide, but you are taken aback that his are, too; the dampness on his lip shines in the glow of the Christmas tree. 
Your father pointedly clearing his throat breaks the spell, and you jump apart as if burned.
“Sorry,” you both mumble and Benedict pulls the most adorable ‘oopsie, my bad’ face. 
“Goodnight, y/n,” he says tacitly.
“Goodnight, Ben.”
As you climb the stairs slowly, exhaling the breath it feels like you have been holding since he grabbed your arm, you know that kiss will be replaying in your head for weeks. If he keeps this up, you may well combust. 
This was a fantastically bad idea.
___
December 24th
You awaken on Christmas Eve when it’s still dark outside. A glance at your phone says it’s right after 4:30am. Already knowing you won’t get any more sleep, you throw open your case and grab slippers and a hoodie, deciding to head down to make a coffee.
You almost jump out of your skin when you see a silhouette sitting at the kitchen table.
“Sorry,” Benedict atones as he sees you clutching your chest, “time zones.”
“Same… coffee?”
“Please…”
As you potter around, making a pot as quiet as possible, he scrolls on his phone. You join him once it’s brewing.
“How is the sofa bed?” you ask, wincing guiltily.
“I've slept on worse,” he obfuscates jovially. 
“Sorry, if I’d known there wouldn't be a spare bed, I would have booked a hotel,” you apologise, rubbing your temples.
“No, it’s tradition to stay with family at Christmas,” he rebukes with a smile.
“Thank you again for all this,” you mutter, shoving your hands into your hoodie pockets. “Have you done this fake boyfriend thing before?” your question is only partially in jest.
“No, what makes you say that?” he huffs bemused.
“You, uhh, have been doing an excellent acting job,” you shrug. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t think they quite believe I could land you, but I’d argue you have been very convincing regardless….”
“Don't say that,” he frowns, cutting in. 
“You don’t think they buy it?” concerned things may not be working as well as you believed.
“Not that,” he waves a dismissive hand, “the other thing. Why wouldn’t they believe you could ‘land me’?” he rounds off with a quotation gesture.
You bark a laugh. “Have you seen you?  
“Stop,” he seems genuinely ticked. “That is all shit. I would be lucky to have you,” he mumbles, not meeting your eye, staring out of the French doors into the inky blackness. It won’t be sunrise for another three hours this time of year. “I am lucky, in fact, to have you as a friend,” he adds, his thoughts sounding far away.
“Well, same. I still have no idea how to repay you for all of this…” you admit.
“I already said, none needed. Why would I not choose a little foreign adventure with a good friend when the alternative is Christmas alone?!” he scoffs as the coffee machine beeps.
Unsure quite what to say, you get up to make a cup, knowing without asking how he takes his. Retaking your seat, you pick at the idea again.
“I think we should strategise…” you mutter into your mug.
“About what?”
“The plan. Now you have some inkling of what they are like, maybe we should talk tactics…?” you trail off, not sure even yourself where you are going with this.
“It's simple, isn't it?” he counters, taking a gulp of coffee. “We hold hands, hug and kiss occasionally, you know, act like a couple….” he shrugs as if it's the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it is to him; his heart probably doesn't pound when you so much as touch.
“Okay, well, I guess we can improvise. But let me know if it all gets too much. Send me a secret code or something,” you offer.
“Like a safe word?” he chuckles.
“Something like that,” you allow, trying to mask the heat you feel creeping up your sternum at the very thought.
Just then, his phone vibrates on the table.
“Sorry, it's Ant. I should probably take this,” he apologises, standing up.
You swallow a sip of your coffee, trying not to think too hard about anything, when suddenly he leans over your shoulder from behind, the phone still buzzing in his hand.
“By the way, my safeword is Byron,” he rumbles silkily into your ear. “Not that I’ll ever need it,” he adds, walking away casually while you try to bring your heart rate back to normal.
Dear God, this man is going to kill me.
___
You take your coffee back to bed when Benedict doesn't reappear after a few minutes and end up passing out again for a couple of hours. By the time you are awake again, the house is a hive of noise and activity. You pass Kallie, your oldest brother's wife, in the hallway, and she punches your arm lightly.
“Welcome home, and well fucking done!” she winks, and you frown, confused what she’s talking about. She jerks a thumb over her shoulder. “That delicious slice of Britishness in there,” she elucidates. 
Shit! It just occurs to you that by falling back asleep, you left Benedict alone to fend for himself in the melee of your family. The poor man must be mauled alive by now.
So when you enter the kitchen, the last thing you expect to see is the sight before you. Benedict, with an apron on, tossing American-style pancakes like a pro on the hotplate while your family chatters around him, applauding as he serves up another perfect-looking batch.
“Darling!” he calls when he sees you. “Come here!” he exclaims warmly, holding out his arms.
Unsure what else to do and powerless to resist the opportunity, you walk over and allow yourself to be swept into his arms. He presses a kiss onto your cheek. He smells like butter and syrup, and you want to burrow into him.
“Sorry I left you alone in the lion's den,” you say close to his ear so only he can hear.
He smiles into your hair. “They are fine, honestly; I can handle it,” he assures mutely.
You pull back and swipe a tiny fleck of batter from his face, enjoying the round of his cheekbone as you do. What makes an odd weight land on your ribs is how his pupils dilate fractionally as you lick the dot off your thumb.
“Delicious, Mr Bridgerton,” again, unable to stop yourself from flirting with him now you have the excuse.
Something in him looks almost wild as your gaze locks.
“Get a room!” your brother, Tucker, jeers from the table.
Part of you wants to sass back some version of ‘apparently we’re not allowed’ and ‘I wish’, but all you can do is smile at Benedict as he mirrors your expression.
“More, please, Mr Brid-un,” your youngest nephew toddles over, holding up his plate expectantly.
Benedict finally looks away and ruffles the little kid’s hair. “Certainly, Brandon,” he offers warmly.
“What I find fascinating is how a proper British gentleman knows how to make good old-fashioned American pancakes,” your mother pipes up from her seat at the kitchen island.
“Oh, my nanny was an American,” Benedict waves the spatula as he pours more batter onto the hotplate and begins a new batch.
“Your grandmother was from the colonies?” Travis mocks, feigning outrage.
“Oh no… not that sort. My umm nanny nanny, as in the lady who looked after us as kids,” he explains, looking somewhat sheepish.
“Shhiittttt,” your sister Teegan drawls, looking up from her phone for the first time. “You’re like actual rich, huh?”
“Language Tee!” your mother warns from across the room.
Teegan pulls a face and then turns her attention back to Benedict, awaiting his response.
“Please, can you all not be so… y/l/n,” you cut in, holding up your hands to the gathered family. “For once, can you all just…?” you taper off, hoping they will read between the lines.
“How’d you two meet?” Dean, Teegan’s husband, calls out, ignoring your plea completely.
“We actually met at university many years ago,” Benedict explains, flipping the pancakes as they bubble. “But we started working together last year on various projects, and well, we grew much closer.” 
So far, so truthful.
“Then, well, one memorable day, when we successfully wrapped up a project we had worked on so hard together, I realised she meant so much more to me than a friend,” Benedict continues, sounding so sincere you almost believe it yourself. A tiny flutter in your chest that the project he refers to could be the Gala. “I kept it to myself for a while, but late one night, I couldn't resist, and I confessed my feelings. I am the luckiest man alive because it turns out she felt the same. And, well… here we are,” he concludes, shooting you a look so loaded you forget it's a yarn for a few seconds.
“Friends-to-lovers, I stan,” Claire, your other sister-in-law, comments. She always has her head stuck in some romance book.
As Benedict serves the next batch, the focus of the room is pulled to your nieces and nephews as they overload their pancakes with toppings, and you are grateful to be out of the glare of the family spotlight temporarily.
“How did I do?” Benedict murmurs into your ear as he sidles up next to you, wrapping an arm around your back. There's a tinge of pride in his voice. He knows he has them eating out the palm of his hand, and fuck if it isn't so attractive.
“I should tip you…” you joke, not wanting to give away quite how flustered you are.
“I accept payment in kisses,” he breathes, his smouldering stare sliding down to your lips as you crane your head to look up at him. 
It's only a few minutes later, as you grab a pancake from the stack that you realise he didn't say that at volume anyone else could hear… it was purely for you. And you have no earthly idea what to do with that thought.
___
The rest of Christmas Eve passes with your family’s usual rituals, with Benedict beside you, playing the doting boyfriend to perfection. Each brush of his makes your adrenaline spike—a divine torture. 
While dinner is cooking in the afternoon, your parents usher most of you out of the house for a walk in the bracing cold to build up an appetite. And so you stroll, Benedict’s gloved hand in yours.
“So Ben, is everyone in London not married with kids, or is it only my sister who can't seem to figure it out despite her old age?” your sister Teegan digs as she pushes the buggy next to you.
“Well, we are a similar age, and I'm not married with kids either,” he points out breezily.
“Yeah, but…” she halts, realising there is no response she can think of. “Wait, why don't you have kids yet? Don’t you want a family? I thought you said you had lots of brothers and sisters?”
“I do come from a big family, yes. And I suppose one day, yes, I do want kids of my own,” he adds, seemingly honest as you listen intently, your heartbeat in your ears, “but I feel no rush yet.”
“So you’re not knocking this one up anytime soon then?” your brother Tucker stirs, checking your shoulder roughly from the other side.
You can't help but feel a blush darken your cheeks at that and refuse to look up at Benedict. You open your mouth to tell Tucker to shut up, but Benedict cuts across you.
“If anyone has come close to being someone I would consider having kids with, it's your sister,” he admits casually, as if talking about the weather. But for you, it feels like you are back on that proverbial cliff edge about to dive over, heart racing. It takes every fibre of your being to keep walking and acting naturally, grateful for the gloves between your joined hands; not sure you could handle his skin touching yours as he says such things.
“Ooooooo,” Tucker singsongs, “going to the chapel, and they’re gonna get mar...”
“Cut it out!” you grouse.
He peels a laugh, then jogs on ahead to catch up with Dean.
“I’m sorry about that,” your apology hushed as you keep walking, Teegan falling behind you to deal with one of her kids' tantrums.
“Why? It's an inevitable question when you meet your other half’s family,” he points out, squeezing your hand reassuringly as you wander as a pair.
“Yes, but… it's a bit much, considering they just met you hours ago. They are intentionally stirring the pot. Trying to scare you off,” you frown, realising what they are doing as you say it aloud.
Benedict stops walking, and it makes you halt, too. “Nothing could scare me off,” he assures, his face soft with understanding as he cups your jaw. His cold, damp glove is a balm to your flushed, embarrassed face.
“Right,” you nod, “cos this is all fake…” you add quietly, trying to hide the defeated tone.
“Anyone who knows how great you are would not be scared off by the idea of a future with you,” Benedict says soothingly, a thumb stroking your cheekbone.
“Well, when you meet a candidate who fits that bill, send them over to me, yeah?” you quip brittly as you look off into the distance, unable to meet his hazy, sincere eyes.
His response is interrupted by your niece tugging on his coat.
“Uncle Ben, can I sit on your shoulders? Please? Daddy already has Brandon, and my feet are so tired,” she whines in that dramatic way only little ones do.
Benedict laughs and releases you. “Certainly, Sofia,” he smiles as he hauls her onto his shoulders, uncaring of the mess her little boots smear onto his coat as he does so.
“Faster! Go faster!” she orders, and genially, Benedict obeys, moving ahead and breaking into a light jog as she giggles loudly and holds onto his chin.
You try to ignore the flutter in your chest at the sight of him with a kid on his shoulders, as if he were born to do so.
This was such a mistake…
___
“When are you moving home, y/n?”
You knew this was likely coming. The question your mum has to ask every time you visit. And every year, your answer is the same.
“I don't think I will be, Mom,” you explain calmly as you pass the plate of peas to your sister, not wanting to look at Benedict, who sits opposite you at the long table. “I love London. It feels like home,” you add with a shrug.
“Yes, but this living abroad thing is supposed to be a phase—a young person thing. You are mid-thirties now. It's time you settled down,” she frowns.
“I am settled,” you reply neutrally, “I have a place of my own that I love.”
“Yes, but an apartment, sorry ‘flat’,” she self-corrects sarcastically, “that’s not a real home. A home is a house with a garden in a safe town with good schools for your children,” she lectures.
This line of discussion used to annoy and rile you up, but you have become weary of it over the years. The rest of your family is tucking into their food but listening smugly, having towed the traditional family line.
“I think home can be many things,” Benedict pipes up from across the table. “A home is about where you feel safe and secure, surely Mrs y/l/n?”
“Well, yes…” your mother falters, slightly taken aback by his interruption but still charmed by his effortless congeniality.
“Then I would say your daughter’s home is London,” he smiles disarmingly. “You should see her there; I encourage you to visit sometime. She has a home she has made beautiful. She has many friends, and she is amazing at her job. She is happy. I, for one, cannot imagine her anywhere else.”
Again, you can feel your heart beating at his sweet words, even knowing they are all for show; it's lovely that someone has your back for once, defending your choices.
“But what of the schools, Mr Bridgerton?” your dad piles in, “I have heard nightmares of the school system in the inner cities, in this country and yours,” he shudders.
“My family has always gone to a superb prep school in Chelsea. I see no reason why our children could not do the same when the time comes,” Benedict responds with a winning smile.
You almost drop the corn casserole at that line.
Plonking it heavily on the table and taking a deep breath, you finally pluck the courage to look over at him. Looking back at you is a playful smile and a wink. And suddenly, you know what he is doing. It likely appears genuine to others, but you know him too well; you know all his facial tells. He is doing this for sport. To entertain you. The kaleidoscope of emotions you feel is near exhausting, relief mixed with a tang of disappointment that it's all for show.
“Well, that's wonderful news, Benedict,” your mother squeaks. “I cannot wait to hear more once you are engaged,” never failing to find an opportunity to take a dig.
“You will be the first to hear, I promise,” he smiles winningly and takes a bite of food. “This is delicious, by the way,” he adds, “I hope you will share the recipe with me, seeing as we will likely be family one day...”
And just like that, he expertly manoeuvres your mother onto the only topic she loves more than marriage - cooking. As if he could intuit how to steer the conversation. Relieved, you sit back and finally take a deep breath, then a bite of your admittedly delicious plate. You are even grateful he manages to distract them long enough that there are no jibes about your weight.
Maybe this wasn't such a mistake…
___
A few hours later, with the little ones tucked up in bed, the adults gather around the tree with the fireplace roaring and the festive music softly playing. It's time for gift exchange, a family tradition away from the hubbub of Christmas morning with the focus on the children ripping through all the gifts Santa left for them.
You are enjoying the buzz a second large glass of wine provides when the focus turns to you. Benedict sits beside you and slides a hand onto your knee. Still, your body reacts, but you attempt to act as if it doesn't make your blood pump hard in your head.
“Benedict, we didn't know you were coming, so I'm sorry we have no gift for you to open,” your mother says sheepishly, “and y/n, we have done as you always ask; we have sent you a gift card over email,” she explains, “which makes me sad as you have no gift to unwrap….”
“That's fine, Mom, thank you. And don't worry, I don't need a gift,” you assure, taking another swig.
“Actually….” Benedict clears his throat, “I have a gift for my girlfriend if that is okay?”
You look agog at him.
“But… I didn't get you anything,” you splutter, even as he moves his hand from you and reaches behind his back, revealing a small navy velvet box.
“Don't worry. It's nothing really, just something small,” Benedict assures, even as you can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you reluctantly let him place it in your hands.
Slowly, you pull at the tail of the lovely soft gold ribbon until it relents. With your heart in your mouth, you snap open the box. Nestled in more navy velvet is a tiny, beautiful crystal penguin, your favourite animal.
“Ben…” you are lost for all other words, tears prickling the corners of your eyes.
“I remember you loved the larger one my mum had on her desk,” he explains lowly as you stare transfixed by all the facets catching the twinkling light. “Every time we had a meeting, you would stare at it or play with it. So I knew I had to get you one too, for your desk… or wherever you want to put it,” he modifies sweetly.
You can't help it - the swell of emotions makes you throw your arms around him as you clutch the precious item. It's like he has managed to distil everything you could want from a Christmas gift - something personal, tailored to you, nothing too extravagant but small, elegant and beautiful. And that he had the forethought to bring it across the Atlantic with him makes your heart burst even more. He is possibly the best friend you could ever have. You fervently wish he was so much more.
“I can't believe you remember that,” you mumble. “This is perfect and beautiful. Thank you, Ben, thank you so much.”
“Merry Christmas, my love,” he says into your hair at a volume you know is designed to be heard by the room.
“Merry Christmas,” you return quieter, only for him.
Vaguely, you hear your mother moving on to hand a gift to another, perhaps embarrassed by the display of affection between you. Grateful that the family focus seems to have shifted to someone else, you go to pull away from the embrace, but Benedict draws you tighter into him. 
“Lovers don't let go so quickly,” he whispers. “Now I'm going to kiss you again if that is okay…”
Your tummy flips. “Okay…” you barely struggle out the word.
Then his hand is on your cheek, and time seems to slow like treacle; his eyes burn into yours as he moves in, then flutter closed as his lips meet yours. Again, it is like a rollercoaster, a thrilling plunge as his lips move over yours. It's like the previous night, respectful with a closed mouth but so sweet and promising, so much more a whole ripple runs through your body. You need more, so much more, desperate to climb into his lap and demand a real kiss, audience be damned.  When you part, he tilts his forehead against yours and smiles gently, licking his lip as if savouring the taste.
“I'm glad you like it. The gift that is,” he clarifies, a sweet mumble.
You giggle. “I love it, Ben, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't get you anything; I feel terrible.”
“Being here with you is gift enough,” he assures in a voice that melts your insides, which you assume is for the audience.
My god, this man will be the death of me.
The rest of the evening passes in a pleasant fog of wine, your siblings holding court and telling stories as you listen, feeling the weight of Benedict’s hand again on your leg as he sips on a whiskey. Once again, you feel the creeping of jetlag and decide to turn in around 10pm. You give Benedict a peck on the cheek before he can draw you into another confounding kiss and make your escape upstairs with a glass of eggnog and your book.
As you settle into bed, you try not to let your thoughts spiral as you catch sight of the crystal penguin in its box. Instead, you tell yourself he is a good friend and rich; it's likely nothing to him, and not to read too much into it.
___
December 25th 
At some point, you drift off to sleep, book in hand, the timezone still catching you out. You only realise it when you are awoken suddenly around 2am by a knock on your door.
“Come in,” you croak, sitting up and rubbing your eyes to adjust to the light; you had fallen asleep with the bedside lamp on low while reading.
The door opens ajar, and Benedict’s handsome face pops in. “I saw your light on…” he says softly, “just wanted to check on you.”
You put your book aside, pull the covers around your neck and feel an odd flutter as he closes the door behind him. He looks cosy in long tartan pyjama bottoms and a soft dark t-shirt.
“I'm sure your dad would kill me if he knew I were here,” he jests as he hovers a few feet away.
“Come sit,” you pat the bed next to you, even as you feel strange about him being here, dead of night on Christmas Day. 
He nods gratefully and perches on the edge of your bed. It's a full-size mattress, bigger than a twin, but not a double bed. You can feel his weight tugging the bedding tight over your thighs.
“Thank you again for my gift, truly,” you gesture to the box on your bedside table.
“I had to. I couldn't think of anything more… you...” Benedict smiles that demure smile with downcast eyes that always makes you want to shake him and tell him to stop looking so fucking adorable. Or mount him. Or both. You have to bite your lip to stop blurting out your errant thoughts.
“But still to buy me such a wonderful gift and put up with my family… I mean… you deserve a medal,” you shrug.
A hand clamps onto your knee through the bedding, but it still surprises you. 
“Stop it,” he gruffs. “I'm going to need you to stop. Seriously. I chose to come here. It's been fun. Something different. Yes, your family is a bit… intense, but everyone’s is. Each has its own special blend of crazy. You’ve seen the Bridgerton brand of dysfunctional up close,” he points out, knowing without saying more how much you have watched them bicker over the years.
“But you’ve said all those lovely things, made up all these amazing believable stories…” you argue back weakly.
“Every single thing I have said to your family has been the truth,” he responds solemnly.
You replay a few choice record-scratch moments in your head. “But what about the stuff about me being the person you could see yourself having kids with and where these imaginary kids would go to school…” you point out, wincing as you do.
“I told no lies,” he answers each syllable enunciated slowly, staring you down.
It feels like your whole world tilts when he utters those words.
“What are you saying?” you query, breathier than you mean to sound but needing him to spell it out.
He sighs, but a mischievous grin twitches the corner of his mouth. “You are much smarter than this; don't be obtuse now, y/n,” he rumbles, something in the challenging way he says it catches a fire behind your ribs.
“Ben…” you warn, so many contradictory feelings at once.
“You are all the things I said and more, and you must know how amazing you are,” he offers softly as you feel your eyes misting.
“Please don't,” your last vestige of resistance, still not believing what he says can possibly be true, too close to a festive miracle. Part of you thinks that at any moment, you will wake up alone and bereft.
His fingertips brush your cheek, and you inhale sharply and look up to see him inches from your face.
“Fine, if you don't somehow believe my words, maybe you’ll believe my deeds…”
It's the last few words out of his mouth before his lips meet yours.
This time, it's not for an audience; it's just for the two of you, and it almost stops your heart. A hesitant, soft, sweet brush that becomes more as he leans in and deepens the kiss. His lips part yours as your mind grinds to a halt, tentatively following his lead, kissing him back… the catalyst, the permission he needs. A large hand rounds behind your head and pulls you forward. Suddenly, it's a tidal wave, his tongue rolling greedily over yours, becoming hungry, urgent, desperate, your body awash with chemicals, scarcely able to believe Benedict, the star of every one of your spicy dreams, is here in your childhood bedroom, kissing the very life out of you in the early hours of Christmas Day.
“Lay down,” he murmurs into your skin as his lips glide over your cheek, and you follow his order without thought, shuffling down obediently until you lie flat and stare up at him transfixed. 
It’s as if he’s taken your disbelief as a challenge to prove how very real this is. With one hand, he tosses aside the covers and crawls over you until he is engulfing you, surrounding you with his scent that makes your mouth water. His lips are hot on your neck as his hands map your body, lingering in places you are self-conscious about. 
“Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” he sighs as if disputing your internal monologue, his breath ghosting warm over your collarbone. 
“Stop…” you demure, wriggling under him, feeling bashful.
“No..” his crooked smile is lethal as his head pops up from worrying your throat with a little edge of his teeth. His hand skates your clothed breast, and on instinct, you push up into it, your nipple hardening as the heat of his palm seeps through your nightshirt. “Please take off your top,” he implores, his mouth finding your lips again. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamt of touching your naked body.”
“I can’t believe this…” you mutter, shaky, confounded that it could be true—the man you desire desiring you back just as wantonly. He lowers his body between your legs, surging his hips so you feel something insistent inside his pyjamas.
“Now, do you believe me?” he dusks into your ear.
“Benedict…” falls from your lips as an excited shudder.
“Say my name again, please,” he huffs right against your cheekbone, pinning you under him with his pelvis.
“Benedict,” you repeat, revelling in the effect it seems to have on him.
It gives you the courage to whip off your top. The noise he makes as he realises you are naked underneath it is a beeline right between your legs.
“Shh,” you hush, giggling, a rush through your veins, not wanting anyone to disturb this, as he slides his lips down over your skin towards your breasts.
“I cannot,” he remarks gleefully,  “not with such a bounty beneath me.” 
His lips clamp onto your left nipple, sucking and swirling his tongue with an intensity that steals the breath from your lungs.
“Might wake fam…” you stumble out, impressed you can even do that.
He pulls up, his biceps in tense relief as he balances on his fists curled on either side of your waist. “Then lock your damn door,” he growls in a way that has you clenching.
“No lock…” you squeak, wishing beyond belief you had one.
“Shit, really?” he sighs, leaning back down to kiss over your sternum. “I’m not sure I can be quiet; I’ve wanted this for too long…”
You go to query that statement, but he moves to your other breast and does the same, so the only sound you are capable of is a guttural moan.
“Shh,” he hushes you back cheekily, tilting his head up from your chest, eyes sparkling and face so achingly handsome you still can barely believe this is happening,
“We really do have to be quiet…” you point out reluctantly.
“I know,” he sighs into your breastbone, dropping a soft kiss there. “I want to tell you so many things….” 
“Whisper them to me…” you beseech, running your fingers through his lush, thick head of hair, tilting your breast back up to his mouth.
He smirks and catches your unsubtle hint, once again using his talented mouth to make you shudder under him. He runs a finger down your centre line to your belly. 
“Your body is perfect,” he sighs. You go to protest, but he shoots you a disapproving look, so you bite back your words. “I could get lost for hours tracing your lines,” he hums, his featherlight touch tickling as it crosses under your belly button, making you giggle. “Hmm, a little ticklish too,” he sounds utterly captivated by that discovery, throwing you a very troublesome expression.
“Don't use it against me…” you warn, knowing he will ignore you, a fizzy feeling at this playfulness.
“Oh, I just might…” he chuckles as he runs his tongue lower over your torso, a hot, damp line that leaves fluttering in his wake. “I could do this all night…your skin is so soft,” he purrs, inhaling deeply, nuzzling his nose above the line of your pyjama bottoms. “You always smell so fantastic,” he sighs, using his teeth to tug on the ribbon. 
You’ve never had someone be this vocal during intimacy. It makes you feel reassured but also slightly bewildered by just how aroused you are getting, Benedict’s resonant voice skittering compliments over your skin, making you embarrassingly wet. Your hands greedily pull at his t-shirt, hoping he will get the hint.
“If you want something from me, you have to say it,” he teases as he switches to using his fingers to undo the bow on your pyjamas. 
“Please take off your top, Ben,” you mewl, even as your heart pounds at the idea you will soon be naked under him.
“I will,” he promises, “in a minute…” 
As if sensing your apprehension about removing your last item of clothing, he leaves it in place, shuffling lower and stretching your legs wide with his shoulders. You gasp loudly as his mouth, hot through the thin cotton protecting your modesty, sucks insistently over your slit. A large hand curling around your hip to stop you canting off the bed. Your clit throbs, and your pussy leaks copiously down your bottom.
“Fuck I can tell how wet you are even through this fabric,” he stutters.
“I'm sorry...” you squirm, embarrassed.
He surges upright, grabs your hands from around his head and cages them on the mattress beside your hips.
“Let's get two things very clear,” his voice stern but achingly seductive. “One, your body is incredible, and you should know by now how much I desire you. Two, if you ever apologise again for being turned on, I will be annoyed. Do you know how proud I am? That I can do this to you? How absolutely rigid this makes me?” rutting his hard cock against your left calf to prove his point. “I want your desire running down to your knees. I want you mindless and trembling with need for me.” 
“O-okay,” you stumble out, entranced. This filthy poetry and feralness is beyond anything you could imagine him capable of. You have seen hints of his menacing potential, but full force, it’s breathtaking.
“Good,” he smiles crookedly, releasing your hands. “Now lift your hips so I can get you properly naked,” the slightly bossy rejoinder really working for you.
Mutely, you do as bidden, his fingertips trailing fire down your hips as he tugs the material over your thighs, impatiently pulling them from around your ankles and tossing them over his shoulder, his gaze locked onto your body. He groans a curse, and you again find yourself clenching around nothing at his untamed response.
Whispering his name is a reflex, your fingers carding again into his hair as he lowers his mouth and suckles the skin of your hip before slowly, almost torturously, winding his way lower towards your centre. Every place he touches feels alive and fluttering, him whispering reassurance and praise into your flesh, like a sensual requiem that catches your breath. By the time he trails his nose down the crease where your thigh meets your body, you are panting, eyes screwed shut, head tilted back, anticipation knotting your guts.
“Look at me,” he orders softly, his face framed by your thighs as you gulp and look down the plane of your body to him. “Don’t look away; I want to see your eyes when I do this,” his breath hot on your slit.
He unfurls his tongue and ploughs through your wet flesh, making your toes and fingers curl. You have to bite your lip and curse behind your teeth, the sensation overwhelming, his eye flashing fire in his blown pupils at your bodily reaction. You hiss loudly, needing to call out so bad your lungs ache. You twist your pillow to bite down on a corner but keep your eyes on him as told. He chuckles pridefully, the sensation shooting up your pelvis, then keeps going. Teasing around your clit with a lathing action that is nothing like you've had before, devouring, using his whole face, strong arms wrapping your thighs in a vice-like grip, held lewdly open It feels so good that within moments you are panting. Still, part of you is tense, scared about your ability to be silent.
“Relax,” he breathes, shaking your hip gently in his grip, sensing the tension in your being. 
“I'm worried I won't be able to stay quiet enough,” you admit, muffled around the pillowcase, looking away to stare at the ceiling as he busses a soft kiss onto your inner thigh.  
“One moment…” he withdraws and hops off the bed. You watch, vaguely dazed, as he drags a heavy chair against the door and wedges it under the handle so it can’t be opened. “There, now we should get some warning.”.
When he turns back around, you instinctively pull the cover over yourself to hide your naked body, even as you can’t help but stare at the tent in his pyjama bottoms, mouth watering at visions of what lies beneath.
“Don’t do that,” he reproaches softly, “show yourself to me.”
Reluctantly, you push the sheet away again, squirming slightly as his eyes roam your body lasciviously as he prowls over to you, stripping off his t-shirt as he does. His naked torso is perfect, toned and honed, and as he crawls over you, you are hypnotised by the view. 
“You are so beautiful,” he sighs, dropping a kiss on the tip of your nose, the scent of your arousal on his face. “Never cover yourself in front of me; you should be proud of your body.”
You’ve never had someone say that before, and your insides are molten, a need for him that burns so bright, an inferno purely of his making.
“Tell me what you want,” he proposes, lacing your fingers with his, kissing your fingertips, then sucking them into his mouth, looking at you expectantly as you stutter at his warm, wet, talented tongue lathing over your fingertips.
“Everything…” you blurt out honestly. “Anything. This is all wonderful… Can I return the favour for you?” you deflect, brushing your other hand tentatively over his bulge as he hovers over you.
“Yes, you bloody can,” he growls, releasing your fingers from his lips as his eyes flash dark. But he grabs your hand away from his cock, calming his tone. “But not tonight. Another time…”
“Another time?” you echo, temporarily stunned by the idea this isn't a never-to-be-repeated Christmas miracle.
“Yes. Why would you think this a one-time thing?” his brow knits as he drops a kiss on your cheek. “What about my actions and words tonight suggest that?”
“Nothing, I suppose,” you concede, “just history…”
He cups your jaw. “The past is the past. This is now and me,” he states clearly, running a thumb tenderly over your lip. “I will do whatever you want. If you tell me to leave this room right now, I will, and I won't think any less of you…”
“Don't you dare,” it's a snarl from some dark recess deep inside you, your legs twining around his to lock him in place.
“There she is…” he chuckles, that lopsided grin taking over his face before kissing a line down your throat. “Now tell me what you want, y/n.”
“I want you inside me,” you confess, running your hands over his naked back, loving the play of muscles under warm skin.
He groans at your words, an edge of teeth on your jugular, making you ripen, feel daring. If he wants to know just how wild he makes you, you are going to show it. You grab his face and drag it up until he is over you again, his pupils blown and his hair a mess from your tugging.
“Fuck me, right now, Ben,” you demand hotly, pushing your body up into his and delving a hand inside the back of his pyjamas to grab his shapely rear, keen for him to be as naked as you.
He snarls and pins your arms beside your head on the pillow.
“Do you have any condoms?” he breathes hot in your ear.
“Ah shit,” your head thumps back, chastising yourself for not planning better. But then this seemed like such an unlikely outcome, frankly miraculous; why on earth would you have?
“Good thing I came prepared then,” he teases, releasing his grip to produce a small packet from the pocket of his pyjamas.
“You….” you scold, equal parts impressed and irked, running your fingers around his waistband. 
“It was a sincere wish, not an expected conclusion,” he smiles bashfully, his lips meeting yours for a searing kiss as he slips off the last of his clothing.
A shiver runs down your spine as he bears you into the mattress, naked, his rigid cock brandishing the inside of your thigh. He keeps kissing you over and over until your lips feel tingly from the slight hint of stubble around his. You wrap all of your limbs around him, craving for your bodies to be melded.
When he pushes up slightly to rip open the packet, you glance down and see, nestled in a patch of trimmed hair, a sizeable but very pretty cock. You can’t resist reaching out and touching it, loving the feel of steely strength under the silky texture; his soft groan is like music to your ears. Sighing his name, you are impatient for him to be inside you, already knowing it will feel wonderful, part of you craving skin on skin. 
Again he wears that demure smile, looking up at you through his lashes, so you take over, eagerly rolling the condom onto that pretty cock and then pulling him down on top of you forcefully.
“I like it when you are just a little bossy,” he confesses into your mouth, one hand pulling the cover over you both, then sliding between your bodies to guide himself towards you.
“I like it when you are a little bossy,” you counter, but then all your words die out as his cock slides insistently into you.
Your eyes roll back as he inches inside, so much heat and girth, your body stretching to accommodate his invasion. You both seem to utter a curse, and your hands grasp each other tight.
“You feel amazing…” he murmurs as he bottoms out, the feeling of fullness so perfect.
You whisper your agreement as he withdraws and surges back in, your feet curling around his legs, toes sliding into the light fuzz on the back of his calves. There are soft sighs, both of you trying to muffle your sounds as he sets a languid pace, your body rolling with his; each push has your walls clinging to him, your breasts squashing against his broad chest. What strikes you most as you move together is that nothing is awkward; it all feels natural, predestined, an easy intimacy that suggests months or even years together rather than a first time.
He feels so good moving inside you, so perfect; all you can do is cling to him, trying to convey with your eyes what you dare not voice. Afraid that if you open your mouth, you will release the noises you are fighting to hold in, blazing in your lungs. His stare is blistering, too, a blush across his face that speaks of desire and denied words, his neck corded, a pulse beating wildly in his prominent vein, a sheen gathering on his forehead as he pushes into you over and over.
His breath is hot on your temple as he shifts, dropping a shoulder and reaching down, looping your leg into the crook of his arm, the sheet pulling taut around your knee as he does. He hits a new spot deep inside with his next thrust, which has you digging your nails into his back and whimpering behind your sealed lips. It's as if he is doing his damnedest to break you, make you cry out, and it's the best torture you have ever known.
You huff out of your nose as he does the same, both sounding winded, as he picks up the pace, your teenage bed starting to squeak in protest.
“Shhh,” you plead with the furniture as much as him.
He stops moving, buried in you, and reaches above, stuffing a throw pillow between the bedframe and the wall, his arms flexing deliciously right over your face, the scent of his body spiking your need. It makes you grasp your thighs around his hips and flip him over, landing with a bounce, him still inside as you are on top of him now.
“Wow, that was…” he looks both astounded and exhilarated.
“Surprising?” you supply with a triumphant crooked smile of your own, your hands tracing the lines of his pectorals.
“Wonderful,” he clarifies, his hands grasping your hips as you start to ride him. The way he looks up at you, with dark pupils and a bitten lip, makes you fearless. Starting a leisurely pace, you place your hands over his on your hips, fingers lacing as his eyes slip from yours briefly, transfixed by his cock disappearing into you.
He groans low, undulating beneath you, pushing up as you sink down, his eyes back to your face, a prideful expression as your mouth drops open, his cock nudging deeper than ever before, almost a dull ache that you need, moving faster now, chasing that hit with every downstroke. You can feel your body flushing hot from the exertion, your thigh muscles burning slightly. Still, you don't waver, too addicted to that feeling of being so utterly filled, his cock dragging all the right places inside that switch off your brain and forget everything, every doubt, every uncertainty about yourself and your body, and just chase pleasure. 
“My god, you are beautiful,” he gasps, “I love to see you like this, so untamed, so free…” 
The compliments just drip like whispered jewels from his tongue as he guides your joined hands up to your breasts and grabs them with a force that fans the heavy, hot feeling in your pelvis, his knuckles snagging your sensitive buds. It makes you want to ride him forever, your clit throbbing each time you sink down, tugging temptingly but not enough to quite tip you over. The clawing sensation of being so close makes you drag your fingernails down his torso and clench around his cock. He stutters and looks at you hungrily, possessed, and then, before you know it, the room tilts as he rolls you back under him, again never leaving your body.
He withdraws and thrusts back into you with such force the wind is knocked out of your lungs, the pillow muffling the thud against the wall. Something in the atmosphere shifts; an urgency, like the heat that has been simmering, is now boiling over for both of you. He grabs your knees and encourages you to wrap your legs high around his torso, tilting your pelvis to a new angle, and when he moves, you cry loudly behind your lips, his body glancing at your clit.
He hushes you with a prideful chuckle. So you grab one of his hands and place it over your mouth, knowing you cannot trust yourself to stay quiet now. The hitch in his breath as you gag yourself with his palm is like poetry. 
Oh, Ben, you have no idea what I may want from you one day…
Your errant thoughts run to your darker fantasies, things you’ve never done before but are intrigued by, and in every one of them, it's him. Treating you just a little rough while you beg for more.
“Whatever you are thinking,” he gusts into your ear, moving faster now, “I hope it involves me.”
You nod, feeling his fingers flex across your face.
“Good, I can't wait for you to tell me,” he rasps lowly.
A bead of sweat forms along his hairline as the whole bed rocks now, the trapped pillow muffling the sound, his punishing pace pushing you ever closer to orgasm, pleasure spiking with each thrust. His hand grips your jaw; something about that pressure and the sweet words he murmurs is a contradiction of primal and tender. Sex before has always been one or the other for you; blended together, it's a potent elixir.
He takes you hard, without mercy, and you silently beg him with your eyes for just that; his cock feels so hot and rigid, pounding into you as your cries are muffled by his tangy palm. The onslaught is perfect, and you are teetering on the edge just as he pleads roughly with you to come with him. So you let yourself go, your mind blanks out, your body bucking under his violently. Shuddering convulsions fanning out from your pussy, gripping tight around him and racing through every ounce of your being, muscles taut, eyes screwed shut, a scream trapped in your lungs. He stills above you, his hand releasing your mouth as that bead of sweat splashes down onto your nose. He curls around you, coming hard, huffing gulps of air and twitching almost violently with tiny aftershocks.
After a pause filled with panted breaths and strokes on overheated skin, he carefully withdraws and discards the condom.
“Merry Christmas,” you giggle into his neck as you collapse together.
He hauls you into his embrace, tucking you under his arm and kissing your dewy forehead. 
“Merry Christmas indeed,” his answer ragged, wrapped in a warm laugh.
And that is how you both drift off - exhausted, sated bodies entwined, damp skin pressed together.
___
A few hours later, you are awakened by overexcited nieces and nephews thundering down the stairs, eager to see what Santa has brought them. It takes a moment to recall what transpired overnight, a telltale delicious residual pang between your legs, followed by the realisation you are alone. Part of you relieved Benedict has snuck back to the safety of the den, but a larger part sad not to be waking up in his arms. Sighing, you roll over and spy a jaunty cartoon penguin Christmas card propped up on your bedside table. Upon opening, you beam, immediately recognising the beautiful, looped handwriting.
Y/n 
Thank you for the most magical night. Leaving this bed might be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I can’t think of anywhere else I would rather be on Christmas Day or, indeed, any other day of the year. But I don't want your father to be angry with me. I have a lifetime to disappoint him… if you will let me. 
I can't wait to see you downstairs.
Merry Christmas,
B xx
P.S. I may have just booked a hotel for the rest of our stay. I think we deserve some privacy ;)
You giggle, elated; the exciting prospect of nights in a hotel and the pledge of a lifetime ahead makes your stomach leap—this could be the start of something. You momentarily clutch the card to your chest, revelling in your joy, before burying it into your book for safekeeping and going to take a shower.
When you descend the stairs, out of the picture window, you see most of the family gathered on the street with the kids circling on their new bikes. But as you round into the living room, a sight melts your heart. Benedict sitting cross-legged on the floor with Sofia, a novelty Santa hat perched on his head, surrounded by shreds of wrapping paper, festive music playing in the background as he puts batteries in some loud plastic toy that will no doubt drive everyone up the wall for the rest of the day. 
She whoops with delight as the toy noisily springs to life and runs away to play with it. That's when he looks up and sees you watching from the doorway, his face lighting up. Slowly, he gets to his feet, and then you gasp as he wordlessly pulls you into his arms, brings your hand to his face and kisses your knuckles before starting to waltz.
“I didn't know you could dance like this, Mr Bridgerton,” you tease, impressed, allowing him to lead you around, dodging haphazard toys and boxes.
“Oh, there are so many, many things you have yet to learn about me, Ms y/l/n,” he proclaims alluringly as Frank Sinatra croons from the speaker.
♫ It's that time of year  When the world falls in love Every song you hear seems to say Merry Christmas May your New Year's dreams come true. ♫
“I hope you don't have plans for New Year's,” he whispers into your hair as he brings you to a halt. “I would very much like you to accompany me to Aubrey Hall. As my girlfriend,” he explains, grinning. “Not fake,” he adds drolly after a pause.
You laugh, feeling lightheaded and giddy, but just as you go to answer, you are both interrupted by a little hand tugging on his jeans. 
“Uncle Ben, you are my favouritist,” Sofia declares solemnly. “Will you visit every Christmas?”
Meeting your gaze, his expression contains multitudes. 
“It would be my greatest honour, Sofia,” he replies to her, even though his eyes never stray from yours.
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Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies
Lights divider by @/saradika [x]
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landonorizzz · 3 months
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SUMMARY: pierre is not the boyfriend of the year that everyone thought. his girlfriend is left to fend for herself, fourtunately she seems to have good people in her corner PAIRING: pierre gasly x ex! fem! ferrari media team! oc , [redacted] x fem! ferrari media team! oc (no faceclaim) WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, cursing A/N: this is my first one, it was supposed to be y/n BUT i just didn't like how it looked? idk, i needed to have a name so everyone meet Marceline ;))
masterlist | next
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liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and others
marcilazzaro1 new day, new city! explored zandvoort today before coming back for media duties ;)
(charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 i am watching you, do not make my life harder this week)
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carlandoo333 she's so mother i can't
pierregasly so i don't get credit for the photos?
↳ marcilazzaro1 everyone knows you're my personal photographer love
pierregasly belle, mon ange 🤍
↳ marcilazzaro1 grazie 🤍
↳ ilpredestinatox I JUST WANT EHAT THEY HAVE
babygirll oh no! i was at that caffè today, i can't believe i missed them!
maxverstappen1 they can't stop themselves, it's in their blood
↳ marcilazzaro1 maybe if you stopped distracting a certain someone during his interviews he'd actually do a good job
↳maxverstappen1 eh
lilymhe are we still on for drinks after FP2?
↳ marcilazzaro1 lily, love of my life, of course we are
↳ alexalbon excuse me? i'm the boyfriend here
↳ marcilazzaro1 not for long now albono ;)
sheilaxf1 I'm so here for lily and marci being the ultimate girlfriends
↳ landoscar814 they are iconic
charles_leclerc when have i ever made your life difficult
↳ marcilazzaro1 you want that alphabetically or chronologically??
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marcilazzaro1 added to their story!
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marcilazzaro1 and that's another podium in the bag! bébé i am so proud of you, you have no idea. my heat speeds up every time i see your happy smile, every time i feel like i'm drunk on the champagne with you 🥂 here's to many more, i love you completely 🤍
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pierregasly it's a pleasure to share this journey with you mon ange, i can't wait for the next chapter 🤍
↳ marcilazzaro1 🤍🥂
sundaylover okay whos cutting up onions and shit
hammertime_1 oh yeah she is in looooovee love
maxverstappen1 what about my podium?
↳ marcilazzaro1 redbull is spoiling you enough and j already texted you, stop fishing
↳ cuddlyxricc i absolutely love their friendship
↳ byelandoo right?? i feel like she's the only media person he doesn't automatically hate ↳ cuddlyxricc the fact that she's works for ferrari and not redbull makes it even funnier i swear ↳ byelandoo christian is having an aneurysm as we speak
danielricciardo see you at the after party (you have to convince him to do a shoey)
↳ marcilazzaro1 ah, i fear that i will not make it to the party, i still have work to do daniel ;) but you guys enjoy yourselves. and watch out for the hand please, will you?
elplanxincoming am i the only one or was Pierre's comment kinda weak after the WHOLE PARAGRAPH she wrote??
↳ sunshine_dr3 god i didn't want to say anything but yeah, it feels forced almost
ilpredestinatox the story is definitely working, Charles looks so good i don't even remember the race
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marci's messages
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Marci: where are you? are you still at the party?
Esteban: No.
Esteban: Me, Lance and Mick are all in my room.
Marci: Can I come?
Esteban: Aren't you supposed to be surprising your boyfriend?
Marci: I guess I already did.
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Marci: I already packed my stuff, I don't really have anywhere to go. Ferrari doesn't have the extra room for me this weekend and the hotel is packed.
Esteban: Merde, Marci. Of course you can come here, I'll even let you have the bed.
Marci: Thank you, Este.
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PF: That's all I have.
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PF: For what it's worth, I really am sorry that this hapened.
Marci: Still, you ALL lied to me and treated me like an idiot.
Marci: So really, your "sorry" doesn't mean shit now, does it?
PF: Why do you think I took those photos?
PF: I wanted to tell you. So many times.
Marci: Why didn't you then?
PF: I'm sorry.
Marci: You know what, fuck you.
Marci: You're lucky I didn't expose all of you. You all knew what he was doing and none of you said anything. That's fucked and you know it.
marcilazzaro1 added to their story!
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marci's messages:
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Pierre: Baby, what's going on?
Pierre: Where are you?
Marci: Why, is your friend already gone? What, didn't stay the night?
Pierre: What are you talking about?
Marci: Spare me, Pierre. You know exacly what I'm talking about.
Marci: If you need a reminder I'm sure that twitter's ready to jog your memory.
Pierre: What the fuck Marceline
Pierre: What the hell did you do?!
Pierre: Merde
Pierre: Are you actually insane?? This is a PR nightmare, you KNOW this
Pierre: You have to delete those
Marci: Oh yeah, I don't think so.
Marci: I already apologized to your media team for the chaos, I ain't deleting shit.
Pierre: You're a bitch, Marceline
Marci: Fuck you, you absolute scumbag.
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Adam: You get a week of PTO
Adam: It's a non-negotiable order from upstairs so, yeah. See you next week. Go relax, wind down. Heal.
Adam: We're all sorry that this happened to you, the media team is standing with you.
Marci: Thank you, Adam.
Marci: Also, what does "upstairs" mean?
Adam: Fred's orders.
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liked by sebastianvettel, lance_stroll and others
marcilazzaro1 some much needed home time on the big boss' orders ;)) thank you for your kind words and support, see you soon everyone.
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charlies_sun we're all with you marci 🤍
scuderiaferrari Big boss says to rest up and come back stronger!
↳marcilazzaro1 got it 🤠
↳ilpredestinatox this is so sweet
sheilaxf1 i just don't understand how could he do this to her
↳hammertime_1 RIGHTT???
danielricciardo the personalised dart board and dr3 wine are already on their way
↳marcilazzaro1 thank you Daniel! it's much appreciated
danielricciardo everybody loves a farm girl 🤠
↳marcilazzaro1 do they now?
↳lestappen116 are they...... flirting?
↳ilpredestinatox GIRL, bfr her and pierre JUST broke up, besides idk, i've always had a feeling that he gives her the ick? idk
sundaylover how does she look so GOOD??
↳carlando333 she's so mother i can't-
michael_44 oh boo hoo, she's been cheated on. that's no reason to slack off on her work
↳elplanxincoming oh fuck off
maxverstappen1 there might be an incident at T1 at Monza, just say the word
↳marcilazzaro1 thank you maxie, but that won't ne nessecary 🧡
brunolazzaro03 good to have you home, even if you're stealing all my ice cream
↳marcilazzaro1 come on, mum said i can have them
redleclerc_ the fact that Charles hasn't commented is deeply upsetting to me
↳ quickstappen i meann.... not surprising considering it's his best friend we're talking about
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marci's message:
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Claire: Hello, this is Claire. We spoke on instagram.
Marci: Yes, we did. Im Marceline.
Claire: I know.
Claire: Look, I'm sorry that this happened.
Claire: I really am.
Marci: Stop please
Marci: Can you just explain it to me from the beginning?
Claire: Yeah, sure. Of course.
Claire: I met Pierre at a party in Milan that I went to with my friends.
Marci: When was that?
Claire: Last June
Claire: I think.
Marci: Okay
Claire: I'm sorry.
Claire: Anyway, we met and he was really shocked that I didn't know who he was. And I really HAD no idea who he was.
Claire: He said he worked in motorsports, I've never qustioned it and never tried to search for him.
Marci: Why didn't you look for him?
Claire: Honestly? I didn't care enough. For me it was just sex.
Claire: I didn't even know his last name. Just had his phone number.
Marci: And you met up multiple times?
Claire: Yeah, whenever he was in Milan. I swear I didn't know he had a girlfriend. He said he was single when we first met.
Marci: Well, we started dating in 2019 so... he definitely wasn't.
Claire: I am so sorry Marceline.
Claire: I found out about you from twitter. There was this hashtag trending and suddenly there was this picture of me plastered all over my timeline.
Claire: I've tried to understand what's going on, and I found out I've been screwing someone's boyfriend for the last year. God I'm so disgusted with myself.
Marci: Don't be, please.
Claire: I swear I wouldn't get with him if I knew that he was taken.
Marci: I don't blame you Claire. Any of you. It's not like you MADE him do it.
Marci: Thank you for contacting me, serioulsy.
Claire: It's the least I could do, I didn't see another option.
Claire: Text me whenever you need and I'll try to shine some light on things.
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madi's radio: hello, that's a first smau in a series, so if you want to be notified about the next parts just dm me, i'll set something more efficient up later ;))
click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!
DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!
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knightsickness · 5 months
Text
saltburn thoughts full spoilers
felix pretending that he doesn’t realise the house is remarkable during the tour, part of the showing off is how casual it is - telling elsbeth to be normal about ollie even as felix also definitely does not treat him like an equal
my poor pitiable friend i get to dress and tote around and show the good life and he’ll be so so pathetically grateful it reminds me how great i am how great my life is. this is not conscious on felix’s part felix doesn’t really think
generous and magnanimous, most sympathetic lens taken advantage of but also amusing himself with a charity case. let me reconnect you with your addict mother ollie that’s a scene i should be there for
his and farleigh’s relationship started as this, and soured when farleigh stopped being happy with table scraps, or being a pity-pet - prouder than ollie, less willing to debase himself
felix has had other toys like this, symbiotic playing between him and venetia - he brings them home, doesn’t tell them not to fuck her, and she immediately tries to (paraphrasing but ‘venetia’s been draping herself everywhere hoping you’ll stumble on her’) knowing that he will entirely break off the friendship in disgust at how disrespectful it was to fuck his sister. this in the context of the strange sexualsocial play where felix his sister and his cousin all hang out naked in a field enough it’s an expectation for guests it seems reasonable ollie thought there were fewer sexual boundaries
nobody pays attention to venetia, her addiction and eating disorder are treated as mildly embarrassing but her parents won’t talk to her about it bc it would mean acknowledging there was a problem (seen in later can’t accept felix’s death trying to wake him up and get him warm even though farleigh and venetia clearly already see he’s dead, or not telling the police about farleigh having cocaine) and her hypersexuality and instigating are an arm of that
felix and ollie inherently unequal relationship, king and his favourite - unlike pamela, who appears interesting but fails to captivate them, ollie dedicates an immense amount of effort to keeping felix’s attention, to staying amusing and necessary
bathtub scene both prostrating himself to felix part of the eating him theme and a sexual violation echoed at his grave
party costumes - felix is an angel clearly supposed to evoke luhrman’s juliet (complete with death by poison) both his innocence and his imminent death. otherworldly almost dionysian figure he isn’t a touchable human guy he’s a god everyone appeases because he’s perfect. interesting that they don’t really show his body he’s just wings everybody else’s anguish is centred. not a move to demystify him they could have shown his corpse they could have shown him next to the vomit they don’t we never properly see the body
farleigh is bottom but removes the head to taunt ollie. foolish guy turned into an ass dealing with powers he doesn’t understand possible foreshadowing him as the guy ollie frames for giving felix coke (mule pun?)
sidebar love the scene where ollie tries to manipulate him and misunderstands his motivations farleigh’s such a bitter interesting guy and he was right about everything MY final girl
framed as in the wrong bc he’s contrasted to perfect felix, arguing w him, but is in the right - felix calls him more spoiled than they are, and he is spoiled, but gilded cage nowhere else to go and his parents don’t get anything felix is not reliable. he’s right to point out felix likes ollie more because he’s a less complicated easier to pity pet he’s right that ollie is fake and he’s right that the family don’t see the servants as people besides their charming butler (both clearly beneath them a kind of loyal dog and a class marker they enjoy having. complain he’s creepy but like can you imagine being wealthy enough to not only inherit a butler but to not like having a butler to find him annoying) and is hyperaware outside of the main family unit everyone else staying at saltburn is closer to servant status paid and fed to jester
ollie’s antlers clearly supposed to position him as the devil to felix’s angel but slightly obfuscated by also making him a deer - part of his pathological lying layers of deception, or idea of the pop-wendigo as cannibal as part of his i’m a vampire/you ate him up and licked the fucking plate relationship w the family
teddybear on felix’s coffin both superficially heartwrenching and on any second thought completely hollow - as if he was a little boy, and in a way he was, but it’s a strange gesture as if his parents were burying a much younger child. they don’t know he was poisoned they think he died of an overdose mixing cocaine and alcohol while hooking up with a girl
ollie fucking felix’s grave-dirt as an explicit parallel to ollie scraping on the ground to lick his cum out of a drain - the most touchable felix has ever been is as a body, in the ground, where ollie can cum into the dirt on top of him and it will be there forever. death as an equaliser final end to their king-favourite power differential
didn’t hate the ending but do think he should have only killed felix i think every subsequent death lessened the vicious hatelove obsession of felix’s death which removed the gloss from the house and makes all its ridiculous out of touch evil dreamworld inhabitants small and desperate their golden boy eldest is gone. tragic ridiculousness of putting the name felix river catton on a headstone
ideal ending to me still a subversion of farleigh’s cruel ‘this is the best thing to ever happen to you and when it’s over you’ll think about it forever but this is our life we’ll stay here we LIVE in saltburn’ (he’s more part of the family than anyone else but he’s still exilable - even he knows it isn’t really a we situation) in which ollie does leave and he leaves them all miserable in saltburn forever living with felix all over the walls a hundred portraits of him all clinging onto that last summer. he can forget but they live in saltburn
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babeydollx · 2 months
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Jealousy — JJ Maybank
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୨୧ Warnings: cursing, smut, oral sex, fingering.
୨୧ Pairings: JJ Maybank x Female Reader
୨୧ Summary: In which, JJ gets jealous of Y/N's friendship with John B after Y/N comes back from a 2 month long trip.
୨୧ Word Count: 1.5k
୨୧ Author's Note: Damn, this was the first fic I ever wrote two years ago, it's fairly obvious by the writing lmao. I am going to be reuploading all of my fics to match the changes I am making to my blog so.
© Babeydollx 2024, please do not steal, copy, modify, repost, or translate my work.
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You sat by the fire. Taking in the crisp autumn air around you, you’re happy to finally get to see your friends again, especially your boyfriend. You’ve been gone for two months with your parents because of your father’s work. JJ walks over to you with two beers in hand then passes you one.
“I’m so glad I get to see you again babe..” JJ smiled sitting down before giving you a gentle kiss on your head. You smile and rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m glad too. I really missed this.” You said as he wrapped an arm around you. “Hey! Don’t hog Y/N! We missed her too.” Kiara said with a chuckle as she sits beside you, pulling you away from JJ into a hug. You laugh and hug her back, then look over to JJ. He looked annoyed.
“Ok Kie.. I get that you missed her but, I’d like to spend sometime with my girlfriend. It’s been two months since I’ve got to see her.” JJ said with a sigh. “Oh come on JJ.” John B said as he sat down with the rest of you. “She’s our best friend too, we missed her as much as you did.” “Sorry babe.. looks like you have to share for a little bit.” You giggled softly but blew him a kiss to make him feel better.
JJ chuckled quietly and pretended to catch it in his hand and put his hand over his heart. “Okay I get that you two love birds missed each other, but please, save that shit for later.” Pope said as he sipped his beer. You jokingly flipped him off. That’s how your relationship with Pope worked, you both teased and made fun of each other, that’s how you bonded.
Pope rolled his eyes playfully and took another sip of his beer. “But really Kie, now you’re hogging her, let JB and I see her too.” he chuckled “Fineee..” Kiara chuckled and let go of you, so you went and sat in-between John B and Pope. John B hugged you, gently squeezing. You giggled and hugged him back. John B was your best friend. You had known him even before JJ met him.
After you got a few drinks into you, you were playfully messing with John B. “I- okay is this how it’s going to be? Fine.” John B laughed and started tickling you making you squeal. “I- ok ok.. I’m sorry just stop!” You giggled. JJ watched you and John B laugh and mess around, all you could see in his eyes was jealousy. He didn’t enjoy sharing you, even with your friends and seeing the way you were with John B right now made it worse. JJ looked away from both then got up to get another beer.
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Pope, Kiara, and John B had already left so it was just you and JJ now. You were a little tipsy but still aware of your surroundings. JJ was drunk and sitting on the couch, he seemed annoyed. “Baby..? Are you ok?” You asked sitting beside him and took one of his hands into your own.
“Do you love me? Or are you just with me to get close to John B?” He said sounding irritated. “Wait.. JJ where is this coming from?” You cupped his face to make him look at you, worry filled your eyes. “You and John B. I saw the way you acted with him tonight. You barely even acknowledged me.” JJ frowned. Even though he was drunk he was still making sense.
“I mean.. I was with you the second I got home this morning, we were together all day today baby.. and I loved it, trust me. Nothing makes me happier than being with you but, I also wanted to spend time with you and John B, Kiara, and Pope. I missed them too baby.” You said as you frowned a little. “I- I know..” JJ sighed. “I just missed you so much and.. I didn’t want to share you. I wanted you for myself.” He said. “Mmm.. well nothing is new there..” You giggled softly. “Plus.. you wore my favorite bikini tonight. You looked… so fucking hot. I couldn’t even keep my eyes off you.” JJ said as he got close to your ear, his hot breath tickled your skin. “You have no idea how much I just wanted to fuck you.” He whispered.
You bit back a whimper. You could feel yourself getting wet. You then closed your legs tightly. JJ looked down and smirked. “Mmm.. don’t close those legs yet baby.” He said as he spread your legs again. He pulled at the strings on both sides of your bikini bottoms, making the fabric fall off, your pussy now exposed. He then did the same to your bikini top so you were now naked.
JJ studied your body for a moment biting his lip. JJ then tugged his swimming trunks off and stood up beside the couch. You giggled and got onto your knees knowing exactly what he wanted. Your mouth latched onto his cock as you started to suck. JJ let out a low groan as you kept bobbing your head now taking in his full length. JJ let out a loud moan before pulling you up to kiss you passionately. You slithered your tongue into the kiss as he grabbed your waist pulling you closer.
JJ pulled back then picked you up making your legs wrap around his waist and he took you to his room. He walked in, shut the door, and tossed you onto the bed. You giggled as he got on top of you and kissed you hungrily. JJ then kissed down your jawline, then down your neck, and then to your breasts. His mouth latched onto your left nipple as he massaged your right breast with his hand. You let out a moan and gently bit your lip. He then switched now sucking on your right nipple, massaging the left. “mm.. JJ just fuck me already.” You whimpered tugging at his hair.
“Patience Baby Girl..” He said as he kissed down your stomach. He then reached to where you wanted him most. He planted a kiss on your clit. You giggled softly and played with his hair. He then licked up your wet folds. You let out another moan as he began to pump a finger into you while licking your clit. You let out a loud moan and tugged on his hair. “I- mm.. JJ I’m close.” You moaned out.
“Then cum for me baby.” He smirked putting a second finger into you and went back to licking your clit at the same time. You kept moaning out feeling a knot in your stomach. JJ kept fucking you with his fingers faster, he was intent on making you cum right there. You let out one last moan as you released on his fingers, trembling and tugging at his hair. JJ licked your juices off his fingers then put your legs over his shoulders, positioning himself. He decided to tease you a little more first, rubbing the tip of his dick against your folds. “JJ please fuck me already..” You whimpered.
Without a warning JJ thrusted into you easily because of how wet you were. You let out a loud moan and grabbed the sheets. JJ began to pound into you. You kept moaning out and grabbed your breasts squeezing them. JJ grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his eyes now trained on your breasts. He kept hitting your g-spot now making you scream.
“Mm.. you like that baby? Does that feel good?” He asked letting out a moan. You could barely form words, you were a moaning mess at this point and that turned him on more. JJ let go of your wrists and pulled out then flipped you onto your stomach. He slapped your ass hard before thrusting into your entrance again.
“Oh fuck Y/N! You feel so good!” JJ moaned out going faster. “I- fuck JJ!” You moaned out. “I- I’m close..” You gasped out and you grabbed onto the sheets. JJ slapped your ass again, there was now a red handprint on your ass. You moaned louder until you eventually reached your high and came. JJ thrusted into you a few more times before pulling out and releasing his seeds onto your back.
You giggled catching your breath and laid down. JJ laid beside you and held you close as you rested your head on his chest. “Damn.. that was.. so hot.” He said catching his breath. You giggled and bit your lip. “Yeah.. I missed our sex.”
“I’m sorry for getting so jealous over you and John B. It was dumb and childish, he’s your best friend..” JJ said kissing your head. “It’s ok baby..” You smiled and lifted your head up to kiss his cheek. “I love you Y/N.” He said kissing your head. “I love you too JJ.” You smiled holding onto him tightly. Your eyes slowly fluttered shut and you fell asleep in JJ’s arms.
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୨୧ Author's Note: thank you so much for reading, angels!
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peachypinkygloss · 9 months
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hello! for the 2k celebration: how about brothers bff!jk x reader (where jk has had a crush on Jimin’s big sis foreverrrrrr & now that they’re older he wants her to see him as a man) <3 all I can think of is seven jk w his tattoos & hair & abs!!! anyways happy 2k 💖💖💖 MWAH
thank you so much!! 💕 mwah 💋 x
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big boy
You finally fall for Jungkook's charms.
pairing: brother's best friend!jungkook x fem!reader
genre: brother's best friend au
warnings: implied age gap, jk's needy but also kind of cocky??, she touches his abs lol, 600 words.
a.n.: ok like HE'S NEEDy but this is how i like it 😏 laundromat jk is my fav 🤞🏻
This is part of my 2k milestone celebration! Here is the post for the drabble game! 🤍 (requests are closed!!)
♡・2k celebration masterlist・♡
"Jungkook," you say his name a bit in a scolding way, but the smile gracing your features tells otherwise. You pull your clothes out of the drier, folding them neatly on top of the machine before dropping them in your basket. "I don't know, it's... it's not-"
He interrupts you as you stay indecisive, his eyes round and so, so filled with hope. He helps you fold your clothes while you're talking together. This time he stops after having dropped your folded jeans in the basket, gently grabbing your bicep to make you face him.
"Just... why not?" He softly asks, your eyes finally meeting him. You still haven't folded the piece of clothing you're holding, but you look at him anyway. "One date, that's it! Nothing more if you don't want to, but if you want... you know I wouldn't mind," he grins and you can't help but do the same.
You sigh, defeated, because there's really nothing holding you back other than yourself. You would like to, but you keep overthinking.
"But what happens after? You'll still be friends with Jimin and..." You bite down on your lip, stopping mid-sentence, not sure what you're worrying about exactly.
The past, maybe. The implications, the consequences, how you'll see yourself after that. Things with Jungkook started being different when you came back for the summer break. You haven't seen him in years because you were studying abroad and seeing him again is, to say the least, special.
Jungkook is someone very loyal, he stayed in contact with your brother and made plans the minute he knew Jimin was back in town for the summer.
The loyalty he has for your brother you would have never noticed it before, but now it does something to you. You like it, you like that he doesn't forget years of friendship, that it still means a lot to him.
"And what? Jimin's a big boy," Jungkook justifies. "And so am I," he adds, making you smile. He is a big boy, that's for sure. "We'll handle it."
You look into his eyes when he says those words, staring back at you with a serious expression. He often laughs, but you know it when he speaks seriously, like right now.
You think for a moment, a short moment, comparing the pros and cons. You realize the cons are just things you worry could happen, that you're not even sure they would end up being true. Thinking twice, you don't think it's worth it to rely on the cons.
"The real question is... can you handle me?" You flirt and Jungkook surely likes this.
He smirks, his eyes looking at you up and down. Before, he would have responded no, that he can't handle you, that you're too good — too much — for him.
But now, heck yes he can.
He steps closer and takes your right hand, a stupid little grin on his face. "Can you..." He begins, passing your hand under his tank top, your fingers brushing against his abs. "Handle that?"
You're surprised, but you appreciate how he's blunt with you, not scared at all to shoot his shot. You voluntarily don't take your hand away immediately, though you remember you're not exactly in a private place.
"Jungkook!" You scold, but still giggle it off.
"Don't reject me," he pouts, and he genuinely looks sad.
You sigh again, knowing you don't really want to refuse his proposition. You enjoy his presence, he's funny and he always manages to make you laugh even when you're not feeling well.
He's an adult and so much more mature than other guys your age. He's attractive, so kind and attentive. He's a good man and Jungkook's right, it doesn't matter what others will think — aka Jimin.
"Okay. Go for a date."
.
.
.
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tarotwithavi · 7 months
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Messages from your ancestors
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How to choose a pile?
Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.
Just keep in mind that this is a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave the rest.
Masterlist
Paid services
Pile 1
Hello pile 1 ! Some of you may have lost a family member or a friend recently and you are in great pain because of that. your ancestors want you to know that they are sending you a new friend. This could be in the form of a pet but they are sending you a new soul into your life and they want you to tear down the walls around your heart and to give and receive security and warmth. I know it can be really hard loving a new pet after losing one. I am also getting that some of you will regain your child like Spark. The Spark that you lost because of society judgements and expectations. Your ancestors want you to know that you will forever be a child for them and they are always looking after you even when you're alone even when you are lonely, just know that your ancestors are always protecting you from the spirit realms. And also getting that some of you are really concerned about your career and the good news is that you will be given a new job opportunity. It's like this opportunity will be handed to you. For some of you I see that a surprise it's on its way to you and you will have no idea about it. I am also getting that you may not even expect something like that. It is going to be really unexpected however it will give you great happiness and contentment. One of your wishes is going to come true. Your answers also want you to know that you should follow the path of your soul and do not allow anyone or anything to stop you from achieving what you want in life. I also see a new beginning for you as well as an ending. Some of you may be ending a relationship or a friendship and your ancestors want you to be really careful about who you share your secrets with, especially in your friend circle because I see that one of your friends is talking bad about you behind your back. 7, 13, 18 could be really important dates for you.
Pile 2
Hello! Pile 2! Someone is thinking about you and this person could be your classmate or your coworker. I am also getting that this person could be an earth sign. This person will approach you soon and they will tell you exactly how they feel about you. For some of you it could be your crush. I am also getting that you are thinking too much about your past and your answers want you to let go of your past because it will not serve. you need to find a way to be in the moment and feel alive. Do not let your past hold you back from enjoying great things in life. Someone you are thinking about is also thinking about you and you guys seem to have a telepathic connection. I also see that you feel stuck right now and your ancestors want you to enjoy the moment and the peace you have right now because in the future I see a lot of things going on for you and you will not have time for yourself. If you have applied for a job or for a scholarship I see you getting it 100%. There is something that you want but that is not good for you and your ancestors want you to let go of that desire to clear your mind. I feel like some of you have really creative ideas and your ancestors want you to put your ideas into action. I feel like some of you have a female ancestor , great grandma and she is constantly watching over you and she is really proud of you. She wants you to know that you are doing your best and she is really happy to see you doing what you love.
Pile 3
Hello pile 3! Let go this is the first message I heard and your ancestors want you to let go of the things that do not serve you anymore. This could be people, this could be a relationship , this could be a job if you do not like it, don't do it. I see you winning. This could involve some legal documents. And I'm also getting that you need to travel your ancestors want you to travel. I am also getting that you need to leave your home because you cannot heal while living with people who have hurt you. Speak up, talk back, express how you feel, express your emotions, talk things out because your words are heard. Release your inner Rebel, be yourself and create your own universe and if people are stopping you from doing that then leave them. I see that some of you will be moving places in the near future and I also see you traveling internationally. If you are thinking about going abroad for higher education then your dream will come true. I am also getting that you are about to meet someone new and this person will have a huge impact on your future. This person could be I am asking with an air or fire sign and you may meet them while traveling. This is why your answers want you to travel. They want you to step out of your comfort zone. 5 ,23 ,30 and 21 could be really important dates for you. I'm getting that something unexpected is going to happen on these dates.
Please ignore typos.
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hallietblr · 10 months
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same time, next week? | c.fisher x reader
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a/n: inspired by the tiktok trend! might MIGHT turn this into a mini trilogy but not too sure yet so let me know what you think!
warnings: fluffy but kinda sad:(
summer was quickly coming to an end, saying goodbye to a few of our new friends we made this summer as they return back to their home. cousins was always a place associated with fun and the carefree life. from waking up at dawn to catch the sunrise, being at the beach all day, family barbecues, parties every night, and to do it all with my best friends.
my mother, elisa, used to come to cousins every summer with her family and she immediately became friends with the girl next door, susannah, and her best friend, laurel. the three of them would always spend every moment of the three summer months together in cousins before leaving back to their normal lives.
cousins was almost like an alternate reality, where everyone is happy. where summer love is born and new friendships are made.
once my mom inherited her parents’ summer home, we started coming to cousins every june until the end of august. just like how she used to do it when she was younger, it was to continue the family tradition and i hope i can show my children too.
luckily, susannah had also inherited her family’s summer home and was still in very close contact with her two best friends.
i basically grew up with conrad and his younger brother, jeremiah. conrad and i were born in the same year, only a month apart. we were destined to be best friends since we were in diapers.
i’m also very close to laurel’s kids, steven and belly. moreso with belly than i am with steven since her and i are the only girls out of the five of us. she was a few years younger than me and honestly, she’s like the little sister i never had.
currently, i was lounging on the beach chairs by the poolside of the fisher’s home. conrad had his head on my lap, quietly napping and enjoying the summer warmth. i had one hand playing with his golden hair while the other flipping the pages of my book.
jeremiah, steven, and belly were all playing in the pool, the occasion yelling and screaming coming from them. they all had smiles painted upon their faces,
“y/n! get in!” jeremiah yells at me, splashing water in my direction. i use my book to cover conrad’s face in hopes that he won’t wake up,
“maybe later!” i say back to him, “i can’t really get up right now anyways.”
steven shrugs, “just push him off.”
belly gasps and hits her brother, “that’s so mean! but seriously, y/n, i’m leaving the day after tomorrow and you leave on tuesday next week.”
“i know” i sigh, part of me knows that there’s a chance i won’t be back in cousins with my favourite people for a long time. with college coming up and moving across the country to go to stanford, i knew that i couldn’t visit them as often after this.
nobody except for my mother knew, and i made her swear to not tell a soul that i had accepted my offer to stanford. especially the fact that i won’t see them all for possibly years.
“kids!” laurel calls out from the window, “dinners ready!”
the three from the pool scream as they all shove each other, trying to get out of the pool quickly. i gently shake my best friend awake, “connie, dinner”
his eyes flutter open, he rubs the sleep away, “okay.”
he offers me his hand when i stand up, which i gladly take. i feel butterflies in my stomach from the physical touch from him.
conrad has a soft hand on the small of my back as he guides me into the familiar home. we all sit around the large dinner table, all passing the delicious looking food around. i have conrad on my right and jeremiah on my left.
“y/n,” my mom says, i look up to match her gaze. the second i do, i see what she’s silently hinting at.
tell them.
i shake my head, swallowing the spoonful of mashed potato in my mouth, “no, mom”
jeremiah lifts an eyebrow at me, “she didn’t even say anything”
steven nods in agreement, his mouth full of food. laurel and susannah both look at my mother, trying to read her face,
“come on, honey.” she pleads, “you owe it to them”
this caught everyone’s attention, all eyes on me.
“what’s going on?” belly asks, placing her fork down, “mom?”
laurel shrugs, “i’m not too sure, bels”
i sigh, putting my hands onto my napkin covered lap. i didn’t want to tell them, but i also knew that i should,
“i’m going to stanford.” i tell them, after moments of confusion and silence.
susannah jumps up from her seat and runs over to my chair to squeeze me, “oh my goodness, y/n! that’s incredible news! congratulations, sweet girl!”
laurel was right behind her, “awh, my second baby! i knew you could do it.”
“wait, so why were you so hesitant on telling us?” jeremiah says as he hugs me, “this is good news!”
i frown slightly, “it’s easier for me to stay there for all four years, rather than flying back and forth for the summer…”
it took them a moment to digest what i said before steven pushes his chair back from the table,
“no, you aren’t saying…” he pauses, “you’re not coming back next summer? or the summers after that?!” steven exclaims, “what about christmas?!”
i shake my head, “flights are too expensive, i can’t”
i look over to conrad, who’s eyes haven’t left me since i broke the news. his expression was unreadable.
belly had a tear running down her cheek, “so, tomorrow is goodbye then?” she whispers, “we won’t be able to see each other until you’re done…”
“yeah, tomorrow is goodbye” i slowly nod, “my mom is planning on coming to visit so maybe you guys can too?”
jeremiah grins, “of course we will! i cant stay away from n/n for that long, i can barely handle a school year without seeing you!” he laughs, even though there’s evident sadness in his words.
“i’ll be sure to bring connie and jere to visit, honey” susannah promises me, “congratulations again”
i smile at her before everyone resumes to eating their food and making small conversation. i look back at conrad who’s playing with the food on his plate, i grab his hand under the table and squeeze it.
he looks at me and i ask, “beach after?”
dinner wrapped up quickly, steven and jeremiah getting ready for one last party of the summer — conrad and i agreed to go a bit after them.
conrad has his hand wraps around mine as we walk down towards the water, our arms are swinging while he laughs at some joke i made. we sit on the sand and watch the sun slowly lower into the horizon. we don’t say much but it’s never needed when it’s us two. we enjoy the comfortable silence and each other’s company.
i rest my head on his hoodie covered shoulder, him resting his head on mine soon after. he kisses my hair softly, “so stanford?”
i sigh, “yeah, stanford”
i can feel him smile, “congrats pretty girl”
my cheeks blush at the nickname, but i say nothing. all i want is to stay here with him on this beach we grew up on, forever.
“i always love the sunsets here,” i say, finally breaking the silence, “i swear they’re so much better here than they are in maine.”
he laughs, “i think i like them better here, because then at least i can watch them with you. back in boston, all the sunsets remind me of you.”
“you’re so cheesy” i giggle, gently shoving him with my shoulder.
he rests his cheek on his crossed over arms that are on his bent knees. he looks at me with sadness in his eyes, “same time, next week?”
i feel my eyes starting to water from his question, fully knowing that we don’t know the next time we’ll be able to do this, “im not here next week” i whisper out, tears crawling down my cheeks.
conrad has never been much of a crier, i think i’ve only seen him cry three times in my life. but right now will add to that count as a few tears fall from his eyes,
“im going to miss you so much, pretty” he tells me with his lips quivering, i reach over to wipe the tears off his face with the sleeve on my sweater.
“we can call anytime, okay?” i reply, giving a sad smile, “we always text each other too, but whenever i want to hear your voice, i’m going to call you.”
he chuckles, “so i guess i’ll be calling you 24/7”
i move closer to him and he wraps his arms around me into a tight hug.
“i’m not sure what summers are going to be like without you, y/n.”
“i don’t even want to think about it”
as the sun disappears beyond the horizon, we slowly get up to head back to our rooms to get ready for this party. my phone was blown up with snaps and text messages from jeremiah and steven, begging us to come and join them. one last summer party with them, one last chance to watch steven get black out drunk, one last opportunity to say goodbye to my summer friends, and only a few more sunsets to watch with conrad.
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