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apocalypseornaw · 1 month

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Sheriff, Ranger & Marshal

Beau Arlen x Female Reader x Cordell Walker

When a resort comes onto a few agencies' radar a task force is formed and 3 people are chose to go undercover. You, Beau and Cordell

I have no excuse. This is smut yall. J2 makes my brain go to mush.

A Sheriff, a Marshal and a Ranger walked into a hot tub. Sounded like the beginning of a joke but it was very much your current reality.

When a joint task force had been propositioned to infiltrate a resort that was marketed as “An unconventional getaway for people who didn't live by society's standards” you knew you would be on the list for potential undercover. You had a decent track record and usually only took a couple weeks to decompress after assignments before you'd be completely back to normal as if it had never happened.

—----------------------

You however didn't know that Liam's older brother Cordell would also be on the list along with Beau Arlen, a Sheriff from Montana that had worked well with the bureau in the past. The resort was suspected of being a front for money laundering, weapon and drug smuggling.

—---------------------

When each branch of the task force which consisted of the Marshals, the Rangers and the FBI had picked their undercover the three of you met. It was basically a chemistry read like they did for movie roles. Had to make sure it was believable that the three of you were together.

You'd met Cordell in passing so you knew he was a good looking man and feigning attraction to him would be easy. The moment you laid eyes on Beau you nearly bowed out of the assignment. No one would believe these two men had chosen you.

When you'd voiced your concerns to Captain James who was overseeing the meeting Beau and Cordell had exchanged a look before Cordell moved up to your back while Beau moved to stand in front of you, effectively trapping you between their larger frames.

Beau gently brushed your hair behind your ear, green eyes holding you place while Cordell trailed his fingers over your arms “Now darling,we've talked about this. If anyone's lucky it's me and Eric. You know we love you”

Cordell leaned down to where his lips were almost touching your ear when he spoke “David's right Nessa, so just get those thoughts out of your head”

You felt your face warm so in one fluid movement you punched Beau in the stomach then threw your elbow back into Cordell's. Both men fell away from you, painful laughter falling from them as Captain James clapped “See? Proof to point you're the woman for this job because that? Really looked like you're their wife”

You walked into the safe house the task force was using as the “home address” for your thruple. Jesus you'd gone under cover solo and as a couple with a few guys and a couple women but you'd never gone under cover with two men and had to act as if you were deeply in love with them both.

Beau and Cordell were already there considering Cordell had picked Beau up from the airport and you'd been meeting with the contact you'd formed through a few yoga classes that was in with the owner of the resort. You'd parked your persona's little yellow beetle next to Cordell's persona's range rover.

When you made it past the entry way you let out a low whistle “Honeys I'm home” you heard laughter as your response before Cordell called out “in the kitchen baby” your stomach flipped a little at his voice.

—------------

You walked into the kitchen and both men were sitting at the small breakfast table, a cup of coffee in front of them both. You walked over to stand between the two of them and placed the envelope you carried down on the table “We got an invite to the resort. Bianca came through”

Without warning Cordell pulled you down into his lap, you started to protest but he whispered into your ear “We gotta get used to acting all the time” Beau winked at you “Eric quit hogging Nessa before I spank the both of you” “Promise?” You and Cordell teased in unison. Yeah this was going to be the most interesting assignment you'd ever undertaken.

The resort was beautiful, you had to give it that. Set back in the mountain side of Colorado the scenery was gorgeous. You, Cordell and Beau had been there for a few days but so far no one was really opening up to the three of you and you were starting to feel guilty having a California king to yourself while one man slept on the couch and the other slept on the floor in your suite.

A few times housekeeping had taken you by surprise so blankets and pillows had to be tossed around and one of them joined you in the bed while the other answered the door. You'd told them they could share the bed with you; it was plenty big enough and all of you were adults.

—-----------------

Cordell had apparently woken up first and ordered room service. You woke up to him and Beau testing everything on the tray to ensure nothing was drugged before you all ate.

You sat up in the bed, leaning back on your arms and admired the sight of your “husbands” Cordell was wearing a pair of jeans, hung low on his hips. He was barefoot and not currently wearing a shirt, the muscles of his back flexing deliciously in the sunlight streaming in from the high window.

Beau was wearing the gray sweatpants he wore to bed, that left little to the imagination (not that you'd looked) and he was also barefoot and missing a shirt. His light brown hair was still tousled from sleep and the way the muscles in his arms moved was damn near hypnotizing. Fuck, when was the last time you'd had sex to have you drooling over your temporary partners like this? You needed a cold shower.

Cordell glanced over his shoulder at you and grinned “Nessa you're finally awake” you smiled and tossed the blanket off your legs. You were currently wearing one of Beaus shirts or well “Davids” and panties. It fell far enough on your thigh neither men saw anything but should something happen it looked better if you were wearing one of their clothes to bed.

You walked over to stand next to the room service tray, running your nails across Beau's bare back as you leaned into Cordell's side “We need to talk” Cordell whispered in your ear. At your confused look he motioned to the tray then his ear. Your eyes widened and you nodded “What's a girl gotta do to get you fellas in that big Ole shower with me?”

Cordell laughed “Darling you know all you gotta do is ask” you grabbed Cordell's ark and then Beau's “well come on then”

—--------------------

Once the three of you were in the bathroom you shut the door and rolled up a towel to put under the crack before going to the corner where a shower as big as your first apartment sat. You turned the cold on full blast so there would still be hot water for your showers but enough noise you could talk freely.

Once the shower was going you beckoned them closer to it where it would drown anything out “They bugged the room service?” You whispered and Cordell nodded “From what I gather they don't trust us. Apparently everyone else here has an exhibitionist streak. We're the only people that hasn't had sex loud enough you can hear it down the hall or publicly enough anyone can see it”

You looked from him to Beau, both men close enough you could touch and sighed “Then we have to put on a show” they exchanged a look, clearly letting you take the reins on this “What do you mean?” Beau asked.

You rolled your eyes “You've both been undercover. I had to make it to third base with my last partner's wife one time to keep us from blowing our cover. If they want a show we give them one. That hot tub right outside our room would be a good place because we turn it high enough no one knows what's actually happening under the water as long as it sounds believable”

Cordell nodded slowly, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. “The three of us need to make sure we're comfortable together. Our personas have been together for nearly eight years” you nodded then reached up to hook your arms around his neck, pulling him to you.

When your lips met his he didn't even appear to have been taken off guard, instead he backed up closer to the wall caging you between it and his body. He slid a clothed knee between your legs keeping them open as he flicked his tongue into your mouth, tasting all of you. You could feel your knees weaken from the kiss before you gasped lightly and pulled back trying to get air so he moved from your lips to your jaw then down to your neck, working the sensitive flesh there between his teeth gently as his knee pushed up into your dripping center causing a light moan to escape your lips “Fuck” you whispered when he pulled back with a grin “Good enough?” He asked and you nodded “Very”

He turned his eyes from you to Beau who was watching the two of you intently. He readjusted himself and your eyes slid down to see he was half hard under those sweats. He'd apparently enjoyed the show “Come here” Cordell spoke, pulling Beau to him.

You watched as the two men shared a kiss that was all tongue and teeth and rolled your hips against Cordell's thigh that was still between your legs, trying to soothe the ache forming there. Once the two of them broke away from each other Cordell nodded towards you “She makes the sweetest sounds doesn't she?” Beau nodded, green eyes full of hunger.

Cordell moved and let Beau in front of you. Beau grinned before he leaned down to catch your lips in a bruising kiss. Your hands went to his shoulders, gripping tightly. Damn could he kiss. He moved your hands from his shoulders to hold them both in one of his large hands before pressing them to the wall above your head.

His other hand moved to tease your hardened nipple through the shirt you wore, devouring the moan that escaped you. He kissed down your jaw opposite the side Cordell had but worked the sensitive flesh the same, enough to bring you pleasure but not to mark. Just when you felt like you might explode he placed a final kiss on your lips then backed off, dropping your hands and bracing your hips to help keep you upright as your chest heaved like you'd just ran a few miles.

You swallowed hard twice to keep from whimpering. The two men in front of you both smiled slightly “Believable that we both chose you?” Cordell asked, throwing your words from the chemistry read back at you. You nodded stiffly, finally finding your voice “Believable. I'm gonna um I'm gonna shower. I'm supposed to go to yoga with Bianca”

Beau grinned “Want us to join you or?” You felt your face warm and shook your head “Go eat breakfast. Save me some though. Tonight after dinner in the dining hall we'll give em a show to make sure they don't doubt us” Cordell tipped his head “Yes ma'am” you weren't even the senior agent here but they were letting you lead for the undercover part. Why you weren't sure but you kind of enjoyed it.

Beau started to walk out then shook his head and walked back over to you, catching your lips in another hungry kiss. Not to be outdone the moment Beau released you Cordell pulled you into another kiss. You groaned when they both finally stepped away “Later” you needed the entire day to prepare for the show you'd have to put on tonight. You had gone to third with Lindsay to keep you both safe and you'd simply been friends with her. Those two?

They could easily ruin you and if you didn't keep a hold on yourself you might just let them.

The ground rules that had been set was no penetration and always remember that it was your peronas. Not yourselves.

—---------------

Easier said than done. You'd chosen a simple back two piece because while you trusted the men you were with, the rest of the resort didn't need to see everything.

You stepped out of the bathroom and laughed at the fact that they were both leaning against the doorframe leading out to the deck area where the hot tub sat. Cordell had on dark blue swim trunks while Beau wore dark green ones. The moment they heard the door open both of their eyes landed on you and you could see them darken. “Sorry to keep you fellas waiting”

—------------

You walked past them outside and they both followed you closely. Beau had set the tub to high, like you'd said. You stopped at the edge and both men offered you a hand to help you get in. You took Cordell's and worked at Beau.

Once you were in they both climbed in “Where do you want us Nessa?” Beau asked and you grabbed Cordell's hand first “I want to sit in Eric's lap” you pushed Cordell down in the corner and once he was settled with his long legs bent at the knees you settled yourself between them, your ass brushing against his crotch as you did so and heard him stifle a groan.

You reached a hand out towards Beau “C'mere David” he grinned and dipped himself down to be kneeling in front of you, he leaned down close to your ear to whisper feather light “How far are we going darling? Me and Cordell discussed it. This is your ballgame”

“They have to think we've had sex” he nodded and glanced over your shoulder at Cordell. You'd laid back against Cordell's chest which meant Beau could easily lean over you. Him and Cordell shared a heated kiss and when they pulled away Cordell nodded towards you “Make our girl fall apart in my lap David”

Cordell shifted you higher up in his lap so Beau wouldn't have to crouch to reach you. He gripped your chin with two fingers, tilting your head “Look at her. So damn gorgeous and all ours” when his lips met yours you didn't try to swallow the whimper that escaped you. He smiled against your lips “and always so eager for us”

You felt one of his hands come up to cup one of your breasts while Cordell snaked a hand around you to cup the other. You moaned lightly and that seemed to spur them on. Beau moved down to your neck, kissing and biting gently and Cordell leaned up to claim the other side of your neck, both of them still working at your breasts, tweaking the sensitive buds and making your back arch off Cordell's chest pushing you into Beau's.

—-----------------

Just when you were damn near too overwhelmed they changed tactics. Cordell moved his hand to your chin so he could tilt your head back and claim your mouth while Beau slipped one of your breasts free from the swimsuit top, flicking his tongue over the nipple. Cordell swallowed every moan that you gave as Beau finished with one breast and tucked it back into the top before going to the other.

You rolled your hips back against Cordell and felt his erection pressing into your back. You slipped one hand between you and he hissed when your fingers slipped below the band of the shorts he wore, wrapping around his hardened cock. Damn he was big and thick. You began to jack him slowly, moving at the same rhythm as your lips moved against each other.

After a moment Beau reclaimed your lips from Cordell, one hand slipping between your legs to tease at your clothed core. A moan escaped your lips, one from Cordell joining you. “Do fingers count?” Beau asked low between gritted teeth and you shook your head. With your go ahead he moved your bottoms to the side plunging two fingers knuckle deep inside of you.

You moaned loudly as Beau curled his fingers finding that spot deep inside of you. A rhythm fell of your hand moving at the same speed of his fingers as he worked you towards an orgasm and you worked Cordell. You bucked your hips against Beau's fingers and he broke from your lips to move down your neck “Just like that sweet girl. Fuck yourself on my fingers while you jack Eric off”

—---------------

The names didn't matter, the fact that you were technically working didn't matter. All that mattered was how amazing Beau's fingers felt and how fucking wrecked Cordell sounded behind you. You felt yourself getting close to that edge and knew from how Cordy was moving his hips to meet your movement he was close too. Beau twisted his wrist slightly and your vision went soft around the edges as your orgasm washed over you. The feeling of Cordell's warm cum coating your hand anchored you in the moment as both men bit down on your shoulders.

Beau gently slipped his fingers out of you and grinned “You're looking a little gone darling” then looked behind you at Cordell “You both do” Cordell was breathless as he said “That was intense” you turned to pull him down into a kiss, his tongue rolling against yours. When he pulled back he kissed the tip of your nose “Baby he didn't come”

You looked at Beau and smiled “C'mere David” he moved closer and placed a quick kiss on Cordell's lips before pulling you out of Cordy's lap and into his own. He moved so your back was against the side of the hot tub and your legs were wrapped around his waist. He dropped his head to your neck and whispered “I'm not gonna fuck you,don't worry”

He moved a hand under the water and if anyone nearby looked it probably appeared he was freeing his cock but instead he just tightened his grip on your hips. He gave a hard roll of his hips into yours and your head fell back with a low moan “Fuck” you gasped and he did it again. You looked up to stare into those gorgeous green eyes “Can you come like this?” You whispered against his lips and he chuckled “Fuck yes”

—----------

The feeling of his hard cock rubbing just right against your clit with every thrust of his hips were pushing you closer and closer to that edge. You wanted to feel him without the layer between you, but you'd set the rule. You looked over at Cordell who was now stroking his semi erect cock, working back up himself at watching the two of you. A silent conversation happened between the two of you and when he nodded you grinned before slipping a hand between you and Beau.

He stopped his movements and watched you with hooded eyes as you slipped your hand into his trunks to free his cock then pushed the bottoms of your swimsuit to the side. He looked from you to Cordell and when you both nodded he rolled his hips forward again this time sliding into you. Fuck he was wide and long and felt so damn good.

Your head fell back at the feeling of being stretched around him. After a moment he gave a tentative thrust and when you tightened around him he buried his face in the bend of your neck and started fucking you in earnest.

You knew it wouldn't take long for you to hit that high again and judging from how hard and fast Beau was slamming into you he was chasing his own orgasm as well. “Fuck, harder” you begged and he groaned “You're killing me darling” his thrusts got deeper and harder and when Cordell moved to slip his hand between your body and Beau's, rubbing tight circles on your clit you came hard clenching down around Beau's cock. He groaned as he gave a few more sloppy thrusts then came inside of you, you bite down on his shoulder to keep from screaming with pleasure.

He stilled with his cock still inside of you and searched your face, no doubt wondering if he crossed a line but when you simply smiled he crashed his lips against yours in a rough kiss.

You gasped when he pulled out of you then looked between him and Cordell. They were both watching you so you took a few steadying breaths before saying “How about we break in that California king?” They both grinned “Yes ma'am”

You woke up the next morning curled up to Beau's chest with Cordell's tall frame wrapped around you from behind. You were sore everywhere, both of them were big men in every way and damn their stamina.

You considered trying to get up but both had vice grips on you. You decided to try to go back to sleep but right before you dozed back off the memories of them both whispering your real name and each other's last night came flooding back along with the fact that you were fairly certain you'd done the same. What the hell had the three of you really gotten yourselves into?

#beau arlen x reader x cordell walker #beau arlen x reader #cordell walker x reader #jensen ackles fanfiction #jared padalecki fanfiction

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leeknowsnot · 6 months

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listen (platonic han x reader)

genre: angst, no comfort, band!au

notes: platonic, 9th member!reader, reader is changbin's sister, written in 3rd pov, reader is referred to as she instead of "you"

warnings: mentions of d-ath and s-ic-de

i'm still in the process of writing kinktober day 3 so here you go for now!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ" your burden is not yours alone

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ there are those who share it

there are those who learn from it

and there are those who

willingly speak about it

you just have to listen"

January 7th, 2023

"Stop. Let's stop," Seungmin abruptly said from the other side of the room, ceasing the music being made within the four-walled enclosement they were in. Everyone had looked at him in confusion as he ran a palm through his face with an exasperated exhale, the guitar hanging on his shoulder yet looking like it had weighed more than it did. Minho was silent but he was eyeing the other male along with Chan who was raising his eyebrows. Seungmin's tone was not loud yet it was laced with quite the frustration.

"Y/N," he called out. She blinked, mouth agape and glanced at him. Seungmin stood before her, eyes wallowing in what seemed to be dismay followed by a few more gazes from Chan and Minho.

She spoke, a confused tone lacing her words. "Y-Yes? What's wrong?"

Seungmin replied with a sigh, "We've been practicing the same song for a whole week now and you've been hitting the wrong beats for more than thrice already. Our first gig is just around the corner and it's only a few days before we finally get on stage with a large crowd watching. Let's try not to mess this up, okay?"

She had found herself having more difficulty nodding than staying silent but she had an uncomfortable fidget on her seat which Chan noticed. "She's probably just tired. We all are, considering we even had weekends reserved for practice and we all know she gets tired a lot more than the rest of us. I think we should call it a day," he tapped on the male's shoulder.

The frown from Seungmin's mien softened, looking at her before he had finally agreed to his proposal. "You're the boss. I'm just trying to keep things on track," he says.

Minho had sent a nod at Y/N's direction as he put back his bass on the stand and with a few words of notice about where he'd be headed, left off.

"I'll be going on ahead as well then," was the last thing Seungmin had said before following suit, leaving the two of them in a complete silence. It felt like Chan was staring right through her soul and it somehow made her conscious.

"What is it?" she muttered through her lips, looking down at the snare drum that had seemed to become the most interesting object to look and distract herself from his stare.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" his voice was straightforward, typical Chan, but there was a slight tone of concern laced within his words. "You do seem like you've been out of it for the past days. Is there something wrong?"

She shook her head, probably out of instinct but she had decided is would only bother Chan if she said yes. "It's nothing, really. You're right, I'm just probably tired. Seungmin has been out of it as well and the others.. They're probably exhausted too."

They weren't. In fact, they had plenty of rests in between practice hours and they were more than enough for exhaustion to be such an overstatement.

"Are you sure?" he asked. His voice was even, mellow.

Y/N hummed, hoping her facial expression was convincing enough for him to stop questioning her which would probably lead to a whole therapy session. "I'm really fine. I just need some breather, that's all," she answered. To which in her surprise, Chan had taken as a genuine response and finally left her to herself by her drum set. She sighed in relief, packing her drumsticks in her small backpack and threw the cover on the set.

When she was finally set on leaving the studio, she stood beside Chan as he sat, burying his face on a piece of paper. Probably finding the right word for a new song from his so-called mind palace. He was never the first to leave the studio and was always the last to leave—thus, the whole band teasing him that he was here more than he had stayed in his own house. She bade him goodbye, leaving the room and headed towards the corridor.

It was never silent in the record label's building. If not for the muffled sound in practice studios, her brother Changbin's loud and booming voice could be heard echoing through the walls. As she reached the training room, the same drum set, recording set, and instruments had welcomed her and brought her waves upon waves of memories.

...

You always call me full of regret

You want me to save you again

December 12th, 2020

"You really have a nice voice," she had said out of the blue, slightly startling the male whose back was turned at her.

"You really have a hobby of giving people heart attacks," Jisung deadpanned at her, earning a laugh from the female. She sat beside him, hand occupied with her lunch tray and gave him a wide smile.

It was during middle school when they first met. She had been friends with Chan for quite a while but it was also not long when she had met Jisung. "Did you try singing at talent shows or joining bands? You shouldn't put that voice to waste, you know," she said, chewing on a piece of fry.

"No. I don't like bands."

"Why not? Afraid of a little commitment? I heard Chan's planning on forming a band for the school show. C'mon, it's fun!" she laughed.

"It's not very convincing coming from someone who transferred schools a lot and met sorts of people. But no, it's not like that." He eyed back his notebook, gripping the pen between his fingers and started scribbling again. He never had the best penmanship.

"I just don't like how they disband in the end eventually after years of bonding."

...

After all these years, the days go by

I've seen you fall a million times

Everybody makes mistakes

February 17th, 2022

"What's with that face?" he gave her a side look, ready to inch away. "Why do you look like you're about to cry."

Y/N clicked her tongue, glaring at him. "I'm not. I just can't get this beat right. I've been redoing this part for how many times now, it still sounds weird." She scrunched her nose at him. "Minho won't be too happy if he hears that mistake during our number. You know how he just stays silent but he's actually judging you. Even Changbin refuses to help me out with this."

"Alright, alright. Give me the drumstick, we'll sort your problem out," he sighed at her, which had probably sounded like he was done with her whining. She gave him the weirdest grin.

"Stop it Y/N, you're weirding me out."

...

June 5th, 2022

Y/N scooted towards Jisung, eyes peeking at whatever he was writing. "What are you doing?"

His head snapped at her direction, a surprised expression on his face. "Y/N, you scared me! Don't go creeping up on people's backs, it's scary!" She only gave him a hearty laugh, taking a seat beside him.

Jisung let out a sigh before chuckling, head turning back to his notebook. "It's a song," he says.

She shrugs. "You always write songs. Don't you do something else? Something more... fun?" Jisung gives her a laugh.

"Rich coming from someone who's also a band member," he rolls his eyes. she nudges his shoulder.

"I play music, not write them. Beating drums prove to be far more entertaining than composing." This earns her a smile from Jisung who turns back to writing again.

"It's kind of like a stress reliever for me. I get to say things i can't say. Pour out the feelings I can't show," he says.

She sat beside him silently, an amused expression on her face as she watched Jisung pour out his lyrics on his paper.

...

It feels so hard to watch you hurt

From the pain a lesson learned

This is how you find your way

July 23rd, 2022

1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. 4 rings.

She didn't want to answer her phone. Her weight had gone down yet she refused to move an inch. How many days had she skipped classes? She couldn't count how many.

Usually in cliché novels, it would rain dramatically in sync with the protagonist's melancholy. But it was the perfect weather; no rain, no scorching sun, no whistling wind. Just plain silence that gave such a temperature that was comfortable for everyone but her. Y/N cursed at the sky. She cursed at the simple noises by the street outside her house. She cursed at the faint droplet from the sink by her bathroom. She cursed at everything.

A loud banging from the front door disturbed the deafening silence. It irritated her. She tried to ignore it, hoping it would cease eventually but the more she ignored it, the more it became louder. It took more than half of her will to stand up from her bed, hair disheveled and almost stumbled down the stairs. She was pondering whether to open it or just pretend she was not home. Ths cold metal knob came in contact with her palm as she twisted it open. They stood in front of her, four faces agape with disbelief and distress. Chan was the first to speak.

"Why weren't you answering our calls? We were worried about you," he had a look of both guilt and responsibility. Minho looked like he was ready to scold her for neglect and Chan was not very pleased at the sight of her state. Jisung was giving her a sympathetic look.

"We know you're still sad about our loss. But that's normal. We lose some, we win some," Jisung says. "Here, I had Felix bake you a cake."

"I'm sorry," was all she could say.

...

You feel so lost, I've been there too

Skies so dark no way through

Stories only scars can tell

November 20th, 2022

Y/N knocked at the practice room door, clutching at her drumsticks in her hand. "Anyone here?"

Seungmin and the others stood behind her, sweat dripping through their shirts as they had finished their last band show for the university—a college farewell party.

A muffled answer came from inside the room. "I must've locked the door by accident. My apologies. Yes, I'm here." Jisung opened the door, his other hand occupied by the guitar he was holding.

"We're going out for a drink. You left the backstage so soon earlier so we came looking for you," Seungmin spoke from behind her.

"It's our last day as students, after all," Minho followed. Chan only gave a nod.

He pondered for a moment, pursing his lips and finally gave an answer. "I'm sorry. I might not be joining you guys this time, I have some... matters to attend to." Y/N gave him a puzzled look. "But I'll try to join once I'm finished."

"Are you sure?" Chan asked in which he responded with a nod. She looked at him, torn whether she should ask if he was doing alright or not. She went for the latter.

"Hey, are you alright?"

He gave her his most genuine smile. "Yes."

...

February 11th, 2023

The sun had barely touched the buildings when Y/N arrived at the studio. Just a few days ago, the band was running on sticks and stones with her being off beat and Minho being on the edge of losing his patience but today was different. Yesterday was the milestone of Stray Kids' first live musical performance as a band under a well-known label and it was definitely more than something to be celebrated about.

The moment she entered the label's building, a lively party had filled the place from ground to the top floor. It was as if yesterday the othe band had the same festivities right after theirs and that was a couple of weeks ago. It was the label's way of recognition over the bands' efforts.

She squeezed herself towards their room, sometimes bumping past shoulders of people that were familiar only by face but not by name. As soon as she reached the others, she let out a huff. Seungmin was by the side, pouring Jeong In a drink, her brother was laughing at Chan's antics, and Minho was looking at Chan with a weird expression as he always had. It was just like any other day.

Only, it felt incomplete.

As if a puzzle piece was missing.

She walked past Changbin, placing her drumsticks by her set and took her bag from her shoulders. He had given her a wave, greeting her but she didn't answer.

It felt wrong. It all felt very wrong. It felt... What was it? Unfair? Why was she feeling unfair? Was it because she was the only one who felt that way or was it because she was wondering why they never mentioned anything about him?

"Hey," she heard her brother speak from beside her, now leaving an occupied Chan who busied himself with Minho's weird expressions.

"Hey," was the only answer she gave.

"Are you alright? You look like you woke up on the bad side of the bed again," he responded back at her, his locks brushing at his left cheek but to which he paid no heed at. "Don't tell me you're having PMS again—"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Changbin," she cut off his sentence. Y/N sighed, glancing at everyone with both her eyebrows raised. Both spoke with a hushed tone that only they could hear. "Doesn't it feel wrong to you? Everyone's having so much fun, it's unsettling."

"Of course everyone is," he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. "It's your band's debut yet you're the only one who has that ugly, long face. Not that you're weren't ugly before."

She glared at him, ready to stab him with a drumstick the next time he cracks an untimely joke again. "I hate it. We shouldn't be celebrating so much like this. There's nothing to even celebrate about."

Apparently Changbin didn't like her statement. Even Y/N herself was surprised at her own words. "Y/N, I don't see the problem why we shouldn't be doing this and you won't even tell me why."

"I also don't see why you're not feeling the same way I am right now," she retored back at him.

"Feel what, Y/N? I don't get you. If you just told me—"

She had cut off his statement with a louder tone. "Why, you ask? I should be the one asking that. Why is everyone acting as if everything is okay? Why is no one talking about Jisung?"

She had said it too loud. Heads turned towards her, mouths shushed, and the only noise was the low volume music by the speakers.

"Why is it that everyone just started pretending that everything was back to normal and why did Chan pick up that rhythm guitar without even saying a word? As if Jisung had never been our member? As if he never existed?"

"Tell me, Changbin. Why is no one telling me why he had to take his own life?"

Her voice broke along with her heart as the room fell silent. The radio hushed, mouths shut, and the loud footsteps came to a stop. But her head did not.

Faces upon faces of pity, empathy, and confusion had stared at her. She didn't want any of that. She wanted an answer. A clear answer. She paid no heed to the pool of tears that had found themselves continuously streaming down her cheeks.

"Tell me. Why did I not ask if he really was okay and didn't know that his 'yes' was the last thing I was gonna hear from him. Tell me. Why did we not notice how much he was hiding himself behind his fake smiles.

"Tell me. Why are we so happy without him?"

She didn't hate Seungmin, or Minho, or Chan. Nor any of the other members and bands for celebrating. Nor any of this. She hated herself. Her ignorance. Her blind eye towards what he had actually been feeling. Her guilt.

It was guilt.

She should have listened. Not at the loud strums of his guitar. But at the silent screams of his heart. She should have.

if you know anyone struggling with d-pression, anxiety, or just need someone to talk to, please PLEASE reach out to them because they're not alone in this fight. you're not alone in this fight. we're not alone in this fight.

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glassartpeasants · 5 months

Text

Run Rabbit Run .03

Yandere!Eustass Kid x F!Reader

Warnings: Physical abuse, Kid being a dick head, slow development of Stockholm syndrome, mention of not eating, thoughts of self hatred and death, branding, nonconsensual kissing, Kid experiencing the chop-chop slide from shanks, heat being a real one, soft kid???, edited as much as my sleepy self could

Trash Summary: After receiving another horrific scar, reader is starting to lose hope. But just when someone from the inside offers help, her captor has an accident. Leaving reader to suffer with newfound emotions

A/N: yeah this series has a choke hold on me. I've got another part planned and that Luffy fic is still in the works but my computer deleted it and i have to start over :,)

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9

@rebeccawinters

~~~

The bruises were completely gone after a while and you finally started to feel better after having such a nasty cough. It no longer hurt to stand and the bite on your shoulder eventually healed and there wasn’t a trace that it even happened.

Of course, you still were gonna watch how much weight you put on your thigh just to make sure. But now, after you were convinced that it was safe, you started to try to work out again. While you no longer had the crates, something was better than nothing.

You look at the wall, and you see the tally marks you’ve started in order to keep track of the days. There were a few times where you think you forgot but it’d still give you a rough estimate on what the time to leave would be. That is if you didn’t escape earlier.

You weren’t sure how you were gonna escape the more you pondered on it. If you were on open seas, you couldn’t just jump off the ship! Sea kings, unpredictable weather, dying from exposure, or being kidnapped by another pirate group!

What if you were to get on an island? You couldn’t know where you were or how to get back and you highly doubt Kidd would ever let you outside without him by your side again. Escaping would be so much more complex the second time than the first time.

You had thoughts about using your body to break down the door but that’d be loud enough to alert the entire ship. Perhaps you could try to learn how to pick locks? Wishful thinking since you don’t have anything to work as a pick. Maybe try and undo the screws on the doorknob/door hinges. You could use that butter knife you hid between the floorboards as a makeshift screwdriver.

“Rise and shine princess, me and you have somewhere to be.” Your heart races as Kidd’s voice breaks through the silence you were enjoying.

“Where?” You sit up in your bed as you watch the door. Hearing the door unlock never fails to make your throat dry. When he stepped into the room, you see a piece of cloth in his hand. A blindfold, most likely.

“Stand up.” Sighing, you get up from under the covers and stand before him, not wanting to get on his bad side. His big hands tie the cloth around your eyes before he throws you over his shoulder.

“I can walk, damnit!” He could have easily just guided you to whatever hell he was bringing you. You hated being manhandled by him and it took everything inside you to not flail like a fish. As soon as Kidd left your room, a cold air hit your body causing you to shiver.

“Chilly princess?” His laughter only made you more annoyed.

“You never told me where you're taking me.”

“So impatient.” You roll your eyes behind the blindfold. Obviously, he wasn’t gonna crack so you might as well try to recognize each twist and turn he took. Soon enough, you had no idea where you were. His whole ship felt like a damn maze every time you were out of your room.

Just then, you hear keys juggling, and the sound of a door unlocking echo in your ears. Where could he have taken you? Why did you have to wear a stupid blindfold? When you heard the door relock behind you and Kidd is when you really started freaking out. Your body began to squirm to try and loosen his grip.

“Quit squirming or I'm gonna chain you to a wall.” Considering that was the last thing you wanted, you let out a huff before stopping. You didn’t want another scar on your ankle and it’d only make escaping 10x harder.

You feel Kidd sit down before your plopped down on his knee. The blindfold was tugged off quickly and your eyes struggled to get used to the brightness of the room. Once your eyes did settle, you see tools covering the walls and a big workbench in front of you.

“Where am I?” You couldn’t help but look around the room more. Even the last time you were kidnapped, you’ve never been inside this room. So why were you here now?

“The place where I made that collar of yours.” He must have sensed your soured mood because he got up closer to your ear to the point you could feel his breath.

“Now your here to watch me make a new one.” The feeling of his lips pressing against your neck made you freeze, His lipstick staining your skin with each kiss. You didn’t pull away simply hoping that he’d get it over with it soon. Today you just didn’t have the energy to deal with an angry Kidd.

Kidd grabbed your hips and turned you around so you were facing him. Your heart was racing as you both stared at one another for a split second before Kidd pressed his lips against yours. On instinct, you press your hands on his chest to try and stop him. Instead, it seemed to only stir him on.

He kissed you like you were gonna disappear at any second. His hands made their way to your sides and slowly caressed the flesh there. His touch made chills run along your spine. The feeling of his lips against yours made your stomach churn in disgust. Even being so close to him felt like a nightmare. You wanted nothing more than to shove him away and tell Kidd to kick rocks, but this could be a crucial part of getting you out of that small room. So despite your disgust, you kiss him back.

You move your hands to slide across his chest to his neck before cupping his face. The small gesture led him to make a small sigh through the kiss. His tongue quickly swipes across your bottom lip. Without a second thought, you open your mouth for him. You feel his tongue run against your own and his hands pull you closer to him.

When you both separated, a trail of saliva connected the two of you as you panted for air. Your face felt ablaze when you saw how smudged Kidd’s lipstick was. If it was like that on him, what did you look like?

The workshop echoed your heartbeat as you tried to hide your face from view by hiding it in the crook of Kidd’s neck. It’s hard due to the thick collar that adorned your throat. It always got in the way of sleeping, eating, and even trying to read got in the way.

“If you're gonna make me a new collar, can it be one I can sleep in?” You mumbled into his skin as you tried your best to plead.

“Do you know why your in that collar?” His tone of voice made him bite your cheek. You can feel him pull you closer so your chests are touching. His piercing eyes look down at you.

“I ran away…” His fingers dig into your skin roughly, causing you to wince.

“Yeah, you did. How can I trust you not to do it again hmm? This collar makes my devil fruit power work even better than the last one. So why should I give rewards to bad girls?”

“Can I do something to make it up to you?...” Your heart beats out of your chest waiting for his response. The fear of uttering those single words had you fearing his answer even more.

Kidd’s chest rumbles as he makes a ‘hum.’ You hated how long it was taking him to just decide.

“Take off your shirt.” Your eyes widen, and you feel your blood freeze.

“W-What?”

“You heard me. Take it off.” With a gulp, you leave the crook of his neck. Grabbing the helm of your shirt with shaky hands, you slowly lift it over your head. The cold air attacked your exposed chest. You quickly cover your chest as you feel your face heat up. Kidd never gave you any bra’s and the one you did have, he threw away! Hell, you’ve asked but he said no every time.

“Back to me.” Without another second, you followed his orders. If you were given the chance to keep his prying eyes away from you, you’d take it.

Kidd’s cold hands run against your sides before tracing your spine. The small touches made you shiver. You question what his motives were when he stood up and placed you back down on the chair he once sat in. Before you could ask him, Kidd grabbed a piece of metal and used his devil fruit powers to wrap it around you, effectively ‘tying’ you to the chair. You try to move but you were no match for the strong metal.

“Hey! What the hell!” Kidd snickered before going to a corner of the room to grab something. You watched him with an intense stare. The sound of metal rattling and being shoved around was nothing compared to the screaming inside your head. What could he possibly be looking for?

“You know, originally Killer talked me out of this, but since you want to be rewarded for bad behavior, I think it’d go nicely with your new collar.” There was a sinister tone in his voice as he faced away from you. You didn’t even need to see his face to know he had the look of insanity plastered on it.

“It’ll also show anybody who tried to take you away, that you belong to me.” When he finally turns to face you, you see a blow torch and a metal pole with a shape on the end of it. Simply with his words, you knew that whatever he was holding could not be good. You try scooting away from him by pushing the chair away but he grabs it and pulls it back.

“Don’t worry, princess, I did my research.” His laughter had you breathing heavily as you panicked.

“This is completely unreasonable! You can’t be serious!” You try to escape once more but it proved futile.

“You wanted to make it up to him? Well here’s your chance.” Every inch of your body starts shaking violently as you simply look at him in horror. Insanity swirling in his eyes as he grabbed the blowtorch and held it to the metal.

“There has to be something else! Please Kidd-” A loud smack could be heard in the room. The sensation of Kidd’s backhanded slap caused tears to flow down your face. You wouldn’t be shocked if you got a bruise from how hard he slapped you.

“Be fucking grateful I’m even giving you this chance! Those damn Straw Hats taught you that you can be a brat! I’m going to kill each one of those fuckers! I’ll do it in front of you so you can see what happens when you leave me!” His voice was evil and dark and despite how much you wanted to cower and cry, your thoughts spilled from your lips.

“You’ll never beat them! They're gonna come for me and kick your ass!” Your hair was grabbed harshly as your head was tugged back. Tears blurred your vision but you could see his eyes staring at you. Even through the blur, they haunted you.

Before you could say another word, a searing hot pain burned against your chest. It was something that you’ve never felt before as every nerve in your body felt like it was on fire. The pain of the metal touching your chest made you scream so loud that you thought you’d lose your voice. The metal was only on for a millisecond but it felt like a century. Tears pour down your face more than they’ve ever before as you wail from the pain. Your screams echoed throughout the room and your sure it could be heard from the depths of hell as well.

Kidd let go of your hair and you let your head fall. One of your tears fell on the fresh burn and you whimper from the pain. You could feel it throbbing, and it felt like hell even to breathe. The world seemed to spin around you as it felt as if your chest was being ripped open. Your vision slowly started fading to black as the pain soon became too much to handle.

~~~

Opening your eyes, brightness surrounded you. Squinting your eyes, you slowly lift yourself up and your chest burns at the simple movement. Rubbing your eyes, and taking in a sharp breath, you see that your in the infirmary once more. You let out a sigh as you turned to your right and saw someone you hadn’t seen since you were freed.

“H-Heat?”

“Hm? Oh, your awake-” You didn’t even give it a second thought before you got up to hug him as tears whelm in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry! I tried too hard but…” You whispered to him as you held him close, despite the burning pain on your chest.

“Don’t. I heard what happened. Life can be cruel sometimes.” You could only nod.

“You should sit back down. Putting pressure on your chest might not be a good idea after what happened.” Your eyes start to water as the events that happened earlier burned in your memory.

Letting Heat go, you look down at your chest. It was covered with bandages to the point where no skin was showing. Thankfully your breasts were covered in as well. You gently move your fingertips against the bandages before you make your way to your neck. The metal collar was gone and instead, a leather one replaced it. The bed squeaked when you sat back down.

“They all fully know about you now. The rest of the crew.” Lifting your head up, you look at Heat who was sitting in the chair in front of you.

“He lied about your screams, though. He said you burned yourself. I don’t know if the rest of the crew bought it but I didn’t.” You let out a slight hum as you listen to his words.

“I don’t know if you saw what he burned on your skin or if you passed out before you could.”

“My vision was blurry. I couldn’t see through the tears.” Your hands grip the end of the bed with a crushing grip.

“Let it heal first, then before you look.” Looking at the ground, you feel rage bubbling inside you.

“I want to kill him, Heat…I want him to suffer.” Your voice only a whisper as hot tears start flowing down your face, biting your lips to avoid letting out loud sobs.

“He’s taken everything from me. I can’t even fight back to defend myself. He always manages to hurt me before I fully recover from the last wound I had. How am I supposed to get away and go home if I can’t even go one day without being in pain?” The infirmary went silent, and the only thing that could be heard was your sniffing.

“I’m trying so hard to stay positive but-” The sound of familiar footsteps cut you off. You gave Heat a quick glance before laying back down. Closing your eyes, you do your best to fake sleep.

“Heat! Did she wake up yet?” Kidd’s firm voice had you clenching your teeth.

“No. She’s been out cold the entire time.” You could feel Kidd’s piercing gaze against your ‘sleeping’ form.

“Don’t mean to pry, Captain but why?”

“Fuck you mean why?”

“Why her? What’s so special about her that you're hurting her to the point where she doesn’t have the strength to leave you?” Heat question causes you to bite your lip. You desperately wanted to know the answer too.

“That’s none of your damn business, Heat.” Suddenly, you feel two strong arms grab you, only to start carrying you bridal style. The urge to wiggle out of his arms and run was strong, but you didn’t dare open your eyes in fear of what he’d do when you ‘woke up.’

You feel Kidd walk out of the infirmary and return to your little room. Hopefully, he’ll just put you in there and fuck off. Go back to being a sick bastard elsewhere.

“Heat needs to mind his fucking business. I can do whatever I want to you cause your mine. He doesn’t know how much of a spoiled brat you’ve been.” The two of you must have different definitions of spoiled brat.

The sound of Kidd opening the door had your heartbeat calming down. At least you were in the only place you felt a sliver of safety. You’d take any compared to nothing at all. But the sound of him locking the door behind him meant he planned on staying in your room tonight.

Kidd pulled back the blankets and set you down before you heard him take off his boots and join you in the bed. Grabbing your body, he pulls you closer before covering you both in blankets. He snuggles his head on top of yours, and you feel his chest against your back, arms wrapping around your sides.

“I remember the look of fear you had when I got you in the grasp. It took me everything inside me not to fuck you right in the middle of your burning town.” You could hear him chuckle. Events of that day had you holding back tears.

“It’s like you wanted it to happen. You watched me kick your mayor and didn’t so shit about it. You didn’t even run until you saw me looking at you directly. You practically begged me to steal you away. But I couldn’t have you thinking about home when all you needed was me. Watching you cry about your burning town made my cock so hard that it hurt. Good thing after your town burned to ashes, I had my perfect little princess waiting for me to fuck her beneath the deck.” His words made memories replay in your head as you felt your chest get heavy.

“I was originally going to get rid of you when I got bored, but the scared look on your face gave me a high that nothing ever has before. How could I get rid of something that made me feel so powerful?”

“And soon enough, I realized you were meant for me. Your whole existence was meant to be with me. It took a while but soon, you finally understood that you were meant to be by my side. Even if it took a hit or two.” Laughter rumbled in his chest as you felt small tears silently slide down your cheeks.

“It was perfect…until you left me.” Kidd’s grip gets crushing, causing you to let out a cry. He immediately stopped, probably worried that he’d ‘wake you.’ The room was silent before he continued.

“Those Straw Hats took what was rightfully mine, They stole you from me.”

“So when I saw you running alone on Sabaody, I was given proof that you were meant to be with me. You came back to my grasp. You simply needed some discipline.” Beating you to the verge of death is the farthest thing from discipline. But how were you supposed to talk sense into someone so delusional?

“Now look at you. You simply needed a reminder of your place. So quietly and listening to anything I have to say.” His fingers brush a strand of hair away from your face, and he places a chaste kiss on your cheek.

“Cause I know your awake, princess.”

~~~

It’s only been six months since you were taken on Sabaody. It felt so much longer than that, though. With every new fear and scar, it seemed to slow down time by 5x. No matter how hard you tried to close your eyes, the sleepless nights haunted you. Nights you stayed up crying in pain. From physical or emotional, you didn’t know. It could have been both.

You were trying so hard to stand up for yourself, to show that you no longer feared him. But anyone with eyes could see the fear that plagued you whenever you heard his footsteps. How venomous words died in your throat instead of reaching your target.

Your body was the weakest it’s ever been. With all the times you’ve been injured and how you refused food they had given you out of spite has taken its toll. It wouldn’t surprise you if you looked dead. Sometimes, you wish you were. Some days, when the nights were super cold and when the darkness suffocates you, you wish Kidd would just kill you. Wish that the warlord who took your friends would’ve taken you too.

When you felt your chest and how the scarred skin brushed against your fingertips, it only made you shove down the urge to vomit. Having such a demeaning thing scarred into your skin only fueled your overwhelming self-disgust. How could you even go back to the Straw Hats after getting it? There's no way they’d want someone as disfigured as you. The scars around your ankle and neck from being shackled, the stab wound scars, the scar on your face after hitting the crate corner, small scars from times he hurt you enough to break the skin. The horrific imprint of his jolly roger scarred against your skin was the worst of all.

What had you done to deserve such a fate? What past life did you live that made this life such a punishment?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“...” You didn’t answer. Hoping that person would just leave. The last thing you needed was to see someone.

“It’s me, Heat. I brought you food.” The door opened, and his shadow filled the room.

“I’m not hungry.”

“I know your lying. You haven’t eaten in 4 days.” You hear Heat place the food beside your bed before hearing him sit on the floor. Turning around, you look at him with a brow raised.

“I’m not leaving till you eat.” You pout but give in, hunger taking over your spite. Sitting up, you start eating the food in front of you.

“The others have been asking about you.”

“Why?”

“A screaming woman doesn’t just disappear in the infirmary.”

“I guess. But why is it relevant?”

“Based on Kidd’s answers, I think he will let you roam the ship.” Your eyes widen at Heat’s words.

“Really? You're not fucking with me?”

“It’s just a speculation, so I’m not sure, but it sounded like it.” You were about to celebrate finally getting out of the small room., but the reminder of having eyes on your scarred body and that you’d still be stuck on a ship with Kidd plagued your mind.

“Can anyone swim on here? Like, how many of you have devil fruit powers?”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you my evil plan.” A small laugh left Heat.

“You plan on swimming away? In your condition?” Despite wanting to argue, he was right. You were in no condition to do any physical activity.

“Damnit, your right. Guess my spite is my downfall.” All you could do was frown as you continued to eat.

“Did your burn heal okay?”

“Unfortunately. Now I’ve got that delusional fuckers jolly roger on my chest.”

“Well, you can lie about how you got them. If I didn’t know how you got them, I would’ve assumed that you got in some fight and got cool scars.” You let out a quick laugh. Heat’s words managed to somehow make you feel better.

“Anyone ever tell you you’d be a good therapist?” It was Heat’s turn to laugh now.

“You're the first. Who knows, maybe in another universe I am.”

“A therapist with some sick tattoos.” Both of your waves of laughter echoed in the small room. The smile you tried to hold faltered when you heard cannon fire roar across the ship.

“Must be Marines.” With a sigh, Heat stands up before grabbing the now empty plate.

“I better be off, or Kidd’s gonna freak.” Heat’s footsteps echo in your ears before he stops at the door.

“Instead of putting your body through trial after trial, recover first. Then I’ll help you.” Without another word, Heat leaves and closes the door behind him. Leaving you to ponder your next move.

~~~

Something felt off. There wasn’t any laughter on the ship or the sound of talking echoing in the halls. Killer only spoke one word to you all week, and you haven’t seen Heat or Kidd at all. You hated to admit it, but the silence and lack of human interaction worried you as you feared you might start hearing voices-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Who is it?” The door squeaks open, and Killer comes into sight. It wasn’t time to eat you based on the sun's position. You also showered earlier today, so it couldn’t be that either.

“Grab a blanket, pillow, and book, and come with me,”

“Bossy much.” Still, you did what you asked. Maybe it could be a better room he’s taking you to?

“Where are we going?” Killer closed the door behind you before telling you which way to go as he walked behind you. Probably to make sure you wouldn’t run.

“Kidd’s room.” You furrow your brows at his answer. Why did you have to go there?

It didn’t take long to reach this room. What surprised you was how a tall man wearing brown leaned against the wall next to the door. You’ve never met him before. At least that you could remember.

“This is Wire. He’s gonna guard the door to ensure you don’t leave.”

“That doesn’t explain why I'm here-” Killer cuts you off as he opens the door and gently shoves you inside.

“Hey!-” He shushes you and points behind you. Rolling your eyes, you turn around, and to your shock, you see Kidd lying on his bed covered in bandages. You’ve never seen Kidd like this before. Thankfully, he was sleeping, so he couldn’t see you holding back a smile.

‘Karma hit you hard, huh fucker?’

“Can I know what caused him to be a living mummy?” You throw your things on a chair conveniently placed next to his bed.

“We got in a fight.” Confusion fills you after hearing Killer's words. Even you knew that Kidd never lost a fight to other pirates. The last time a Marine ship came by, you logged it. You started logging almost every enemy ship the Victoria Punk crossed, and from what you can tell, Kidd always won. With how many bandages that covered him, the thought of him losing was still a shock.

“Since when does Kidd lose a fight? Plus, I didn’t even hear or see an enemy ship.” Killer simply sighed.

“Kidd simply bit off more than he could chew.”

“Well, now you have to tell me who gave him such a beating?”

“Kidd tried going after an emperor-”

“An emperor?!-” Killer shushed you quickly, and you hear Kidd moving behind you.

“Yes! Now be more quiet!” Killer flicked your forehead. You slap his hand before scowling at him.

“Anyways, Kidd’s gonna need someone to watch him till he wakes up and to make sure he doesn’t lay on his side.”

“Why?” Killer silently shuffles towards Kidd before pointing his head at Kidd’s side. With an eyebrow raised, you walk towards him. When you get closer to see what Killer is pointing to, your eyes widen, and your mouth drops open.

“Holy shit…his arm…”

“Yeah, make sure he doesn’t sleep on it.” With that, Killer starts moving towards the door.

“Hold up! How did he lose it?!” You whisper yell to him, but he closes the door before you can drag him inside to answer your questions.

Crossing your arms, you turn around and watch the redhead breathe slowly. You could only stare at him in his weakened form. Questions ran rampant in your mind. Which emperor did he go against? Why did he go against an emperor? Does he have a death wish? While it didn’t matter to you if he got himself killed, you wondered what was going through his mind. Then and now. Was he dreaming about the fight?

“Your such a fucking idiot Kidd. Going against an emperor thinking you’d win? You really are delusional.” You whisper to him as you sit on the chair before draping the blanket over you. Even if you were invested in the book you brought, all you could do was look at Kidd.

His hair was down, and his jacket was folded and placed on the end of his bed. A sheet simply covered him, letting you see more bandages under it. Whichever emperor he went against no doubt spared him. All those bandages couldn’t be hiding anything good.

~~~

It’d only been a few hours, but you could hear the telltale signs of Kidd waking up. Putting down your book, you quickly muster up some bravery as you look at the man lying on the bed.

“Fuck…my head…” With closed eyes, Kidd touches the bandaged area. Knowing Killer would have a fit if the bandages were messed up, you quickly grabbed Kidd’s hand. It was huge and rough compared to yours, probably from working with metal all the time and fighting. The feeling of your hand holding his had Kidd’s eyes shooting open. You see him go to speak, but you manage to interrupt him.

“Killer sent me here. Your in your room, obviously.” Kidd sits up quickly before you can stop him. You hear him let out a groan of agony.

“Careful idiot! If your wounds open, I’m not fixing them.” He sent you a glare that had you shutting up quickly.

“A few wounds isn’t gonna stop me from Killing Red Hair Shanks so fuck off-” Without thinking, you grab Kidd’s head and turn it so he can see the real damage that he received.

Just by the look Kidd held in his eyes, you could see horror behind them. Horror, shock, anger, every single negative emotion a human could feel, you saw behind his eyes as he looked at the missing appendage. His eyes widen, and his mouth ajar. In all the time you’ve been with him, you’ve never seen him like this. The sight had an unknown effect on you.

“Kidd?” Your voice soft as you know an aggressive one would have a negative effect on the situation. Still, Kidd didn’t answer you. You slowly move closer to him to try to see his face better. Another surge of shock fills your being as you see tears slowly slip down his cheeks. He didn’t even notice as he simply continued to stare.

You grit your teeth as a flurry of emotions explodes inside you. All of them saying that he finally got what he deserved. He finally feels what it’s like to lose something to have your world stop. But even at the sight of his karma, a slight itch wormed in your heart.

You felt bad.

“Hey…can you look at me?” Once again, no response. Biting your lip, you slowly move your hand as you gently place your hand on his bandaged cheek and softly push Kidd’s head to face you. Tears still poured down his eyes as he stared at you. It was so foreign. Seeing him so quiet.

“You should lay down, just to make sure everything heals properly-” Before you could say more, Kidd uses his one arm to grab you and pull you to him. His arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you to his lap. Thankfully, there were no wounds on his lower half so you didn’t have to worry about that after he made you straddle him. You feel him place his head on your chest, and before you could say anything, you hear him crying.

You were speechless as you simply looked down at him. Never has he shown such weakness. Before your mind thought it through, you wrap your arms around him. One arm gently wraps around his neck, and the other hand you placed on his head.

You didn’t know what he was louder, your heartbeat or his sobs as he breathed heavily. His forehead was pressed against the branding he gave you not long ago. Silence covered the room as neither of you said anything. What could you even say?

Biting the inside of your cheek, you slowly start combing your fingers through his red locks. Despite his rough exterior, his hair never failed to feel like silk.

“Just breathe, okay? In and out,” You demonstrate your words in hope he’d mimic it. Hopefully it’ll calm him down so he could get some air as his face was beet red. Kidd manages to follow your lead, yet you still fear tears hit against your skin. Your shirt soaked in his tears.

With a sigh, you start to hum a gentle tune. Because of how tight his grip was, you knew you weren’t leaving anytime soon.

~~~

It’s been a few days since Kidd woke up. He didn’t let you go until he eventually fell asleep upright, holding you. Crying himself to sleep was something you never thought Kidd would do but yet there he was.

You managed to escape and lay him back down. It was getting late, and you wanted to ponder your thoughts on what had just happened. You told the man outside the door everything, and he escorted you back to your room.

You didn’t sleep much that night as your emotions and thoughts fought against one another for hours. All your hatred and rage seemingly disappeared when you saw Kidd crying. Why weren’t you laughing at him? Laughing at his Karma? Why were you so gentle to someone who’s never been gentle with you until then? Your pillow was victim to all the frustrated screams you wanted to let out.

“I’m going insane! I must be! Why else would I feel bad?!” You could feel your body shaking as if it's ready to explode. After everything Kidd’s done to you, why has your body betrayed you and made you feel bad for him? You should be cheering and dancing, but instead, you here laying on your bed staring at the ceiling. Counting the nails keeping the ship together in hopes to bore you to sleep.

Yet you couldn’t.

Your finger tips gently skimmed over the branding that you were given unwillingly. Hatred burned in your soul, yet the parasite of sympathy remained.

Scare littered your body from what Kidd put you on, though. There were so many that even looking at your body in the mirror had you feeling disgusted at yourself. How can you get over everything when you still, and always will have reminders etched into yoru skin? The sound of your racing heart overpowered the footsteps that drew closer.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Come in?” Sitting up, you watch the door open. You were expecting Killer, but you were shocked to see a stumbling Kidd coming in. Bandages still wrapped around his body. The harsh smell of sake filled the room, and it was easy to figure out why Kidd was down here rather than in his own room.

“Kidd, your drunk. Your gonna fall and hurt yourself. Why are you here?” He didn’t give you an answer but instead continued approaching you.

Before you could speak, Kidd towered over you. You swallow the lump in your throat as you remain in eye contact. Kidd groans before he flops on top of you, knocking the air out of you.

“Kidd! Get off, asshole!” You scowled as you tried your best to push him off you. Yet despite all your effort, he didn’t move an inch. Gritting your teeth, you hit his back to get him at least sober enough to talk. Instead, all you heard were loud snores. You groan and rub your face with your hand. Having him use you as a pillow would not help your inner turmoil.

You look down at him and see him draping what remains of his left arm across your tummy. His head used your breasts as pillows, causing his untamed hair to tickle your neck.

“Mmm…” You could feel Kidd nuzzling closer to your body. The sound of sniffling echoes around the small room.

‘Great. What the hell am I supposed to do?’ With a sigh, you once again run your fingers through his hair, hoping of stopping him from sniffling.

You didn’t want to hear it. The sound of him being so weak in front of you had the deepest part of your heartstrings pulled. It told you that he needed you. That you were supposed to comfort him. The small voice only got louder and louder with every cry that left Kidd’s lips.

“You piece of shit. Even in your sleep, you torture me.” You put your free arm over your eyes and feel tears forming. Your chest felt heavy as you held back the urge to start screaming in anger. Yet, tears were the only thing that your body managed to do.

~~~

Kidd was gone when you awoke, and a small sigh left your lips at the realization. You thankfully didn’t have to deal with him first thing in the morning after being used as a pillow that he could cry into. The only evidence that he was there at all was a scrap of a bandage. That and the lingering smell of sake.

While you wanted to get out of bed, there wasn’t anything that you could do. You were stuck in a small room with nothing but books and which all books had been read. All of them read to the point of wanting to use them as a fire starter.

All you had in that small room were your books and your thoughts, and both were pointless. No books to engage and take your mind off the world around you and your thoughts so divided that it was your own personal hell.

Things felt so pointless. Why read when you’ve read it before? Why daydream when all it does is make you sad? You only had human interaction when food was dropped off in your room or when you were in the infirmary after an injury. Even then, more than half the time, it was interactions with someone you wished would keel over and die. Hearing their voices only fueled the nagging thoughts and the overwhelming nightmares. It felt like sleeping was your only escape but you were safe in slumber either. Nightmares of how hot the flames around you were when Kidd kidnapped you and burned down your home. The nightmares of pain he had inflicted upon you. You couldn’t remember the last time you truly had a dream that left you smiling and not sobbing into your pillow.

With how delicate your sanity was, you couldn’t even handle loud noises anymore. It’d just remind you of Kidd’s angry footsteps. The sound of gunfire had your limbs shaking as it reminded you of the times that Marines shot cannonballs at the ship right where you were. Always instilling the fear that one day, one of them would burst through the wall and kill you. Or bring you back to the day when Kidd stole you back. It makes you wonder what you could have done differently.

If you let yourself get caught by Warlord Puma, would Kidd still get you one day? What if you had run the other way? Or ran faster? Would you still be lying on the cold floor of your personal hell?

The suffocating thoughts of how your relationship with Kidd would be after he showed you that he was capable of being ‘human.’ Would things go back to the way they were? Would he treat you better? Actually, give you some sort of freedom other than moving to and from the infirmary without a blindfold and no longer having a metal collar? You had so many questions that could only be answered in time, and knowing that, ate you alive.

Just while you were stuck in your thoughts, you hear commotion going on upstairs. You haven’t heard any cannonballs, so it couldn’t be another ship. Could it possibly be they were getting ready to dock at an island? The thought being near an island was exciting. But you knew that you wouldn’t be let out of this room to go on said island anytime soon. So, getting your own hopes up would’ve been cruel.

Your lip trembles as you start to breathe heavily. Trying to hold in the small tears that threatened to sleep. Such a small action had you feeling even more pitiful.

“I’m so pathetic…I can’t even go two hours after waking up without crying. Why can’t I be strong like Zoro or Robin? Why can I even call myself a strawhat when I’m so fucking useless that I can’t even defend myself from getting kidnapped!” Your desperate words slice through your already wounded heart like razors. Thick tears start falling down your face as you begin to sob loudly. You turn in your bed and grab a pillow, holding it tight.

You cling to the pillow as you drench it in your tears just as Kidd had done to you. The small room made your sobs echo all around you. Almost as if they were laughing at how pathetic you were. It wouldn’t surprise you if your cries echoed out into the hallway. Hearing your own voice had you wishing that maybe death was better than being stuck in such an endless loop.

You were stuck in Kidd’s grasp, and now his presence seeped into your soul. Infecting you like a virus to the point where you started giving the man who took away everything from you sympathy. It was horrible knowing that you were wasting your sympathy on such a cruel man. It’s already horrible how you slept better in his arms, but now that you were starting to feel a semi-positive emotion towards your captor, it's a whole other story.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Go away!” You cover yourself in your blanket as you sniffle into your pillow.

“It’s Killer.”

“What do you want?” The cracking of the door had light illuminating your room. Even from under your blanket, you could see it.

“Kid wants you.” Pushing the blankets down, you wipe your blurry eyes as you look at Killer with an annoyed expression.

“Why?”

“Don’t know. Now come on.”

~~~

As soon as you open Kidd’s bedroom door, you see it’s empty. You turn to look at Killer, eyes still watery as you try to stop the tears.

“He’s not here.”

“Well, he just was. Give him a second.” With a frown, you roll your eyes before stepping in. You huff as you slam the door behind you, not wanting any more interaction with the masked man.

You jump in Kidd’s bed and start to get yourself situated the best you could. His bed was much better than your own, and you just wanted to sleep, even if your nightmares continued. You just wanted the day to fly by.

Since Kidd wasn’t in his room, the atmosphere felt lonely and cold, much to your disdain. You couldn’t hear the sounds of waves that sometimes lulled you to sleep, so you try to hum a small tune so you weren’t stuck listening to nothing.

His room was quite clean compared to normal. No clothing on the floor, tools no longer scattered among surfaces. Metal trinkets placed normally and from what you can see through the crack of the bathroom door, it looks much cleaner as well. It had you scratching your as the whole scene felt off. Just then. Kidd’s bedroom door opened and you see Kidd walking through it from the corner of your eye. He must have went to get new bandages.

He moved to the other side of the bed, saying nothing as he kicked off his boots. The bed dipped drastically with a squeak as you felt the covers move. The smell of Kidd’s shampoo hit your nose as the silence seemed suffocating. While you usually had no desire to talk to the man behind you, the silence was just to loud.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Sorry.” Only seven words expressed between the two of you and yet it still felt like a thousand. It could be that this would’ve been the most normal conversation you’ve ever had with him. A conversation that you started. You take a sharp breath before turning around to see Kidd laying on his back. Both of yoru eyes catch one another.

“Does it hurt to lay down?”

“Only at certain angles. It stings to move my face a bit.” You hum as you spot Kidd’s goggles holding up his hair, no doubt causing more pressure. Scooting closer to him, you reach your hand up to gently pull off his goggles. Kidd’s eyes went wide before going back to normal and looking at your face. You take his goggles and hold them in front of Kidd.

“This could be causing some of the stinging.” Kidd grabs them before putting them on his nightstand. He returns his attention to you before telling you lay your head on his bandaged chest. You just decided to listen, to tired to ignore his commands.

His body was much warmer compared to your own, leaving you to cling to his bandaged body like a koala, wrapping your legs around one of his thighs and laying one of your arms across his torso. His heartbeat echoed in your head as the steady rhythm had your eyelids growing heavy. You hear him gulp and before you could fully close your eyes, you feel Kidd intertwine his fingers with yours. The feeling made your heart drop cause while your mind told you to rip it away, your body stayed still. Enjoying the small gesture of deseperate affection.

“Do you have anymore books that I can read?” You mumble quietly into Kidd’s chest as you stare down at his hand holding your own.

“No. why?” The familiar gruffness in his voice finally coming back.

“I read all of them. Also, some of my clothes are missing.” You hope that you can take advantage of teh calm situation your in to potentially get more things that’ll keep your sanity for a little longer.

“I’ll get it tomorrow. Right now, we sleep.” You hum against his chest as you enjoy the warmth that Kidd gave you before you feel your eyes flutter shut.

#one piece x reader #eustass captain kid x reader #eustass kid x reader #dark content things

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mysteryshoptls · 1 year

Text

SSR Lilia Vanrouge Dorm Uniform Personal Story: Part 3

"I'm a pro!"

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Silver: Father. Has the bat had its dinner?

Lilia: I gave him a larger meal for lunch, so it'll be fine if dinner's a little delayed.

Silver: Is that… right…!?

Lilia: Yep, that's right!

[Courtyard]

Sebek: Lilia-sama! It seems that bat is unable to get down from the apple tree.

Lilia: Oooh. I was wondering where it had gotten to.

Lilia: …Hm? Wait, no, I must have left it there when I took a rest on that branch earlier.

Lilia: And yet it just stayed hanging there. I guess it hasn't recovered well enough to go flying off on its own yet.

Sebek: If that is the case, I shall go rescue…

Lilia: No need, I'm sure it's good training for the little guy. Leave it there for now.

Sebek: Eeh!? B-But it would be dangerous if it were to fall…

Lilia: There's grass underneath, right? It won't be no serious matter. If it happens to get hurt, we just have to heal it again!

Sebek: Silver…

Sebek: I may have gained respect for you for the first time just now.

[Diasomnia Dorm - Malleus's Room]

Malleus: It seems I lost track of time while reading, it's gotten quite late. I suppose I should go lie down… Hm?

[door closes]

Malleus: That sound… It seems someone has left their room. The only one I can think of who would be awake at this time would be…

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

Malleus: Ah, as I thought, Lilia.

Lilia: Ho, Malleus. You're up quite late.

Malleus: As are you. Oh, and I see the bat is with you.

Lilia: That's right. It's because this little one's wing has completely healed.

Lilia: I'm about to take it outside.

Lilia: Isn't that right, little one? It's all thanks to my tender nurturing that you're all okay. You can go ahead and thank me.

Malleus: I'm not sure about "tender nurturing"…

Malleus: It felt like I was observing Silver's hectic childhood days all over again.

Malleus: …This must be what people mean when they use the term "nostalgic."

Lilia: Back then, every single day was an absolute whirlwind.

Lilia: Oh yes, there was one time when Silver slipped out of his cradle when we were napping in the park.

Lilia: "He'll come back eventually," I thought to myself, and just sat around waiting…

Lilia: But when the Zigvolt family arrived with their own children to play in the park, they scolded me terribly.

Lilia: "A normal child won't come home by itself!" they shouted, so very angrily.

Lilia: I searched all over the city… And yet I couldn't find him at all.

Malleus: I heard that at the end of all that, Sebek's family found and watched over Silver.

Lilia: Yes. I cannot thank them enough.

Lilia: And that includes appreciating them for sternly asking me, "Can you really raise a child when you're like this?"

Lilia: I'm sure they truly cared for Silver as if he were their own child…

Lilia: After that, every time I inevitably needed to leave our home, they insisted on taking care of Silver.

Lilia: They often watched over him until Silver was old enough to stay at home by himself.

Malleus: To have him to disappear like that… I can understand why Sebek's parents would worry deeply about him.

Lilia: When that happened, I also was truly ashamed.

Lilia: …But you know, Malleus. I have taken this role of child-rearing very seriously, in my own way.

Lilia: It is the same now as it was been, nothing has changed.

Lilia: It's not always the case that there would be someone by your side to extend a kind, helping hand.

Lilia: If you go out into the world, there may be days that you must go to sleep hungry, without a satisfying meal.

Lilia: There may also be days in which you will experience failure, or encounter setbacks, which could cause you to lose heart.

Lilia: And yet, for as long as we're alive, there will be moments in which one must stand and face their troubles on their own.

Lilia: Not once, not twice, but many times over. …They must learn to handle those dour circumstances while they are still under their parent's protection.

Malleus: So, everything you had done up until now followed that method of thinking? I suppose when you say it that way…

Malleus: This bat that you cared for looks as if it will thrive wonderfully in the wild.

Lilia: Kufufu, doesn't it just? You can keep praising me, if you'd like.

Malleus: …You were heading out to release the bat, were you not? I'll join you.

Malleus: …What a beautiful full moon.

Lilia: Yes. This night sky is perfect for the beginning of its journey.

[flutter, flutter, flutter]

[Diasomnia Dorm]

Malleus: This sound… Look, Lilia. I see a cauldron of bats flying above us.

Lilia: Must be this little one's friends. We cannot let this chance pass us by.

Lilia: Come, don't keep clutching onto my hand forever. Hurry and fly, go on.

Malleus: …Heh, it seems to really like you. It doesn't want to part from you at all.

Lilia: Oh, bother. There is this super high-level quest I need to tackle on my online game right after this.

Lilia: I cannot have you keep me here forever. Go on, hurry and get.

[shakes arm vigorously]

Lilia: So you're going to stick to me, even after I shake my arm like so… Good gracious. I don't recall raising you to be so spoiled.

Lilia: No matter the creature, there will come a time that they will have to decide for themselves.

Lilia: Don't miss this chance to leave. This is it.

[flutter, flutter]

Malleus: …Ah. It flew off.

Lilia: You did it～! Don't fall to the ground anymore, alright～～?

Lilia: …Oh, it was able to rejoin its colony. So this quest has been cleared ♪

Malleus: Indeed. But still, you're quite the stern one, Lilia. I was not expecting you to forcefully shake off that bat who had grown so attached to you.

Malleus: Were you pretending to not care so much for it, so as to not let it be left behind by its flock?

Lilia: What are you saying? Like I said earlier, right after this, I have that super high-level quest…

Lilia: Ah!!

Lilia: If I keep standing around here, I'll be late to meet Gloomy Samurai at our promised time!

Lilia: Malleus, I'm heading back to my room! Don't stay up too late!!!

Malleus: There he goes. He's really not the type to give any sort of lingering goodbyes.

Malleus: Hearing his stories, I always thought he was simply being careless while child-rearing…

Malleus: Yet in the end, when it comes to Lilia, everything may just be all due to his lax personality.

Malleus: What a complicated one he is.

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

#twisted wonderland #twst #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #sebek zigvolt #twst lilia #twst malleus #twst sebek #twst silver #twst translation #mention: idia

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flyingcakeee · 1 month

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Little thing I wrote before I passed out yesterday

Can be interpreted as a friendship or ship, your choice really.

Yeah so what if Max was hard on himself and Logan had only recently learned how harmful it is to be super hard on yourself?

Max has never been the one to truly understand and respect motivational talks. Just say you're going to do it, no need to truly hype yourself up like you're in a zombie apocalypse movie and you need to make some seemingly impossible jump to get away from said zombies. Max has lived by one motto and one motto only since ‘23 Baku, don't let anyone else win. Yeah, sure, some rookie got a sprint win, but that's not the real deal. Max wasn't given the right car in Singapore, he'll never let Singapore again. His teammate took two wins from him, Max won't let him win ever again.

Max promised his dad “I'm the only winner” and he would stand by it. That was all the motivation Max ever needed, “only winner”.

>~<

Monaco, May 25th, 2024

Max fucked it all up.

Monaco is all about precision, being exact and never more or less, no mistakes allowed. Qualifying had started 8 minutes prior when Max finally got out to do his flying lap that would no doubt put him into Q3 if it worked as such.

No heroics into Saint Devote, the wall is spared from any touch of the RB20. Beau Rivage treats Max with kindness, a breeze to fly through. Massante doesn't hold any hidden traffic, nothing to ruin Max’s lap. Casino is as simple as ever and the Mirabeau hairpin yields to Max’s power. Portier is fine, the tunnel after is simple as it can be. Max flies through the Nouvelle Chicane, a spectacle to all the fans who watch. Tabac, Max run’s wide. A quick correction fixes him for that turn, runs him into the wall at Swimming Pool, taking his front left tyre off and ending his quali before he can even set a time.

Max couldn't set a time.

Red flags were waved and Max opted to walk the track back to the pitlane, hanging his head in embarrassment and anguish as he did so. It was a slow walk, marshals long since giving up to stop him. The Monegasque streets have never seemed so quite to Max until now, nor have they seemed this long.

When Max returned to the pitlane, crews looked at him with utter pity, all stepping away as he slowly trudged his way towards the RedBull garage. All but one person.

A flash of white and dark blue stopped Max in his tracks, the white, red, and blue helmet stopping in front of Max and the hands of the man gently grasping his shoulders. Max looked up into the eyes of the North American, unsure where this extremely reserved and quiet rookie got the courage to stop him, the Max Verstappen.

“Pick yourself up, Max,” the American started, the only noise Max could hear for miles on end.

Of course, it was a motivational speech but he couldn't bring it in himself to push the young driver away.

“Don't let one bad qualifying session define you. Trust me, I've let every session I've ever done define me and you see where I've ended up, nearly losing my seat and only getting as high as P11. If the race doesn't go well either, it's fucking Monaco. Anything can happen, Monaco can be unforgiving to any driver. Just pick yourself back up for the race tomorrow and then pick yourself up more for Canada. Don't be too rough, we're human. We can't be perfect, that includes you. Who cares if you lose one race and win the rest, it's better than your record last year still.”

Max felt himself completely focused on the Williams driver. Somehow, he felt he could listen to this motivational speech. Maybe it was the fact that Logan quite literally put his own problem into it and told Max to not be him. Maybe it was the fact that it, indeed, was Monaco, an unforgiving track to even the best drivers. Maybe it was Logan’s hands on his shoulders grounding him, keeping Max there with Logan and not wallowing in self pity.

“You'll be fine, don't let your name get to you. Don't be Max Verstappen all the time, you need to just be Max as well.”

The Floridian removed his hands, a quick pat and smile to the Dutchman before he moved over, allowing Max to finish his walk to the garage. Max gave a small smile back and continued on his way, the message replaying in his mind for quite a bit of time.

>~<

Monaco, May 26th, 2024

Max forgave Monaco, Monaco forgave him back. The top step of the podium became Max’s home, only he could be standing on the top step at all this year. He distinctly remembers seeing Logan give him a curt thumbs up when he was about to do his interview, not actually walking over to talk on the contrary.

“Fantastic recovery performance from you, Max!” the reporter said with excitement, wanting to hear how Max would agree.

“Yeah, it's been a while since I started that low down,” Max joked. “I have to thank my crew for repairing my car so quickly. Couldn't be up here if they weren't working so hard.” The ‘thanks to Logan for giving me a little motivational speech yesterday when he saw I was upset’ went unsaid, Max unsure if he should be thanking another driver in this condition.

“You and another driver, Sargeant, exchanged words after your crash yesterday. Any chance you can tell us what was said there?”

Max laughed, “That's between Logan and I, it was a very private conversation.”

>~<

This time, Max promised to listen to Logan’s motivational spews and not promise his father an always Q3 quali result promise. Plus, Max did Alex a favor and made Logan socialize more.

#formula 1 #f1 #logan sargeant #max verstappen #I feel as if Max would be really hard on himself considering he told his dad that he'd never lose to Checo again #And Logan would hate seeing people down because that was always him and always on the receiving end of motivational speeches #so Logan would try to cheer up Max #idk #I'm tired really #I genuinely looked up a track map of Monaco purely for the names #kinda based on the fact that Max has been relatively supportive over Logan from 2015 onwards

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ae-azile · 2 months

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Progression

Chapter 18 Preview

“...I let my depression amplify my resentments,” Kim finally says, “It amplified that and my grief over everyone we have lost. It was easier to blame you. For as long as I remember, you controlled…everything. Even though that isn't possible, that's how it seemed. So it was easy to pin how out of control I felt onto you. I'm sorry.”

Going by Pa’s expression, he definitely wasn't expecting an apology. Kim has been expecting one from him for weeks, since Pa claimed to Kinn that he would. It never happened, and it probably would have been a front anyway. But it still annoyed Kim, even though receiving an apology would have meant interacting with Pa even more.

“I accept your apology,” Pa says, his voice a little more subdued, “And I realize that I could have…conducted myself a little differently. I could have been kinder. You…Kim, you push back so hard. Talking to you can be like talking to a brick wall.”

“I know,” Kim says, because he does know that, “But like I said, you have been a lot easier to blame. Taking time off, having support, and being in therapy have helped me see it is a lot more complicated than that and I am trying to work on…breaking down that wall.”

Pa studies him, then nods, “Well, I am glad to hear that. And I am glad you decided to talk to me about all of this.”

“I’m glad I decided to talk to you about this too,” Kim says, then tries to think of a way to begin wrapping up the conversation, “I need…some agency though. Trust. I am in therapy, have a support system, have gained weight back, and am doing better than I was. I have even written a lot of music recently-”

“With Porchay?”

He really wanted to leave Chay out of this.

“He's been really helpful,” Kim says anyway, “We’ve written music together, but sometimes we sit in different rooms, write separately, and come back to see what the other thinks. He's been a really good friend to me.”

“A friend,” Pa says, as if he doesn't quite believe that, “People seem to think you two are more than just friends. Do you have feelings for him?”

Kim saying that he doesn't would be an obvious lie, so he settles on a partial truth.

“We are…feeling things out, but taking it slow and mainly focused on friendship and music,” Kim says, then tries to get back on track, “Anyway, I have been doing a lot better and-”

“I don't think he’s right for you.”

Kim turns his head sharply as his eyes immediately narrow, “Why not?”

There is a glint in Pa’s eye, something calculating. Kim isn't sure what his goal is, but he needs to be on his guard right now.

“He…seems troubled,” Pa says, “I think he probably has a good heart, but he's extremely stubborn. He has neglected re-applying for college multiple times-”

“I got him to apply last month.”

Pa seems intrigued to hear that, but presses on, “He also seems very angry. I can appreciate that he has certain areas of discipline. When his training stats got as high as they did, I was pleasantly surprised. He also saved his brother. He saved you. I recognize his strengths. But he has no ambition-”

“He does too,” Kim grits out.

“He doesn't. He has yet to get back to me about taking a position in this family. An actual position, where his high skill set can be utilized effectively. He can't expect to do as well as he has and just…sit on everything he's learned. He needs to be using those skills to help those who made them possible in the first place.”

Kim feels his blood run cold and tries to keep his breathing steady, “Chay…he…no. Porsche doesn't want him involved in…whatever you're implying.”

“Porsche needs to remember that he has the position he has because of me too,” Pa says, just watching him with this stupid neutral expression, “And while I can respect Kinn stepping back for a while to help you, and Porsche trying to lead in a more compassionate manner than my brother did, we also have an influx of business opportunities that will be coming in. Some are new connections and others are long-standing. But a few in both of those circles can be…challenging. There are also some financial discrepancies we will have to address while they are in. I suspect a few of our international associates are working together, and we will need to narrow down who they are. Chay’s skill set might come in handy. In fact, his skills could be...broadened. As happy as I am for Vegas now that he's living a quieter life, I will say his absence has left a hole when it comes to dealing with conflict.”

Kim wants to scream. He wants to jump out of his seat and stab Pa in the eyes with a butter knife. But that would give Pa a reaction, and Pa is likely fishing for a reaction.

But he also could be telling the truth, weaponizing his honesty like he so frequently does. And that just makes Kim feel sick.

#kimchay #kimchay fic #kimchay fanfic #kinnporsche fanfic #progression spoilers #progression preview

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racinggirl · 1 year

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I want you to be the one ... || Lando Norris 4

I'm in a drabble mood! Finally something's out again, sorry to make you wait so long. I just wanted to write something, because I feel like I haven't written in ages because life's being a bitch right now. Anyway, who's also down for some DJ Lando stuff, because lately, damn. Not proofread!!!

Masterlist

DJ-ing, one of Lando Norris’ new hobbies ever since he and Martin Garix crossed paths after the Dutch Grand Prix. A DJ set for on the road became his new favorite occupation during long flights. The remaining time he’d spend listening to music, scrolling through Instagram, watching YouTube videos.

It was after the Austin Grand Prix where the two of you met, him entertaining the crowd with his music. You are sipping your drink, watching the crowd from the VIP area you were standing at.

You were a singer, not big, yet, but you were working on it. You had just released your first album, and you felt your fandom growing, as well as your name. You had been invited to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, which you gladly accepted, being a Formula One fan yourself.

You raised your drink up in the air, dancing along the music the McLaren driver was blasting through the boxes, the crowd cheering at all the songs. Martijn was watching you, since you were one of his close friends as well. He saw how you were enjoying your time, a proud smile on his face. He had watched you grow, from a young girl that loved to sing, to a woman that was slowly becoming one of the best artists in the world.

‘’What?’’ You were eyeing the Dutch DJ, an eyebrow raised as a smirk appeared on your lips. ‘’Nothing, just glad to see you’re enjoying your time here.’’ He smiled back, winking at you before taking the wheel from Lando.

You and Lando had met just before the party, since he arrived just as you and Martijn were talking. You couldn’t lie, the guy was handsome, sexy even, and him being a DJ and interested in music made you like the driver even more.

‘’That was a hell of a session.’’ You shot a nice smile to the 22-year-old Formula One driver, receiving a mischievous smirk in return. ‘’Thanks, I learned from the best.’’

The rest of the night consisted of dancing, drinking, and being a little too close to the Brit, which you didn’t really mind, and neither did he.

‘’We shouldn’t let anyone find out about this.’’ You whispered; lips pressed against Lando’s as he pushed you against the wall. For sure the both of you had a little too much to drink, causing you to end up in his bed in his room of the Hilton Hotel.

‘’I know, they won’t...’’ He mumbled as his hands moved their way up, quickly taking off your clothes because they had been on your body long enough according to the McLaren driver.

You had kept in contact but promised to not tell anyone about your little hook up, not even Martijn. However, it never stayed with just one hook up. The both of you saw it as a way to relax, and it definitely helped both teams.

Lando was more relaxed at the track, even when people threw hate at him, mostly online. Ever since his breakup with Luisa he had changed, in a good way, according to you. He was more relaxed, more open for new things, spending more time with his friends and just generally happier. The hookups the two of you had just expanded those feelings.

You were also more relaxed going into stressful meetings about your new album, a possible upcoming tour and more PR related things such as interviews and talk shows.

It was at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix when you saw him again, dressed in his race suit, the black fireproof top doing his golden tan good justice. His curly hair quite messy, due to the high humidity at the track, it only made you think of moments you were the one to be responsible for the messy hair, and not the weather. You bite your bottom lip at the image, and simply take a deep breath to shake those thoughts out of your mind.

The day went by quickly, and you hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to Lando a lot due to the fact he was quite busy. It was only at the after party when you got the chance to talk to the P3 man himself.

‘’Congrats on your podium.’’ You embraced the Brit in a hug, the scent of his Dior Sauvage perfume filling your nostrils immediately. God, so good.

‘’Thanks, glad to have you here to witness that.’’ He smiled, his hand moving towards your lower back to guide you to the VIP area of the party.

‘’Let’s make this party one to remember.’’

‘’Definitely.’’

After a few too many drinks, you and Lando found yourself in a familiar situation, tangled up with each other, hands all over each other, lips smashing together. But that’s it, nothing more than kisses and cuddles, no sex.

‘’I’ve been wanting to ask you something.’’ He whispered in between kisses, making you pull him even closer to you.

‘’Couldn’t you’ve done that when we were both sober?’’ You groaned as your hands cupped his cheeks, your lips disconnecting so you could look into his eyes.

‘’I don’t know if I would have the guts to do it sober.’’ He slurred, a sigh escaping his lips, followed by his tongue wetting his perfectly swollen lips.

‘’Lando…’’ You whispered, not actually believing what was happening right now. ‘’No, please let me finish.’’ He says, his hand raising, index finger sticking up to place it against your lips.

‘’I have been thinking for a while now, and I’m sure now, I think.’’ He started. ‘’I want to take things to the next level, you know? I’ve been doing it for a while now and I want you to be a part of this journey with me.’’ He mumbled, his finger still in front of your lips.

‘’I want you to be the one, I want to make a remix of a song of yours.’’ He then says, smiling up at you. You did the same, a big smile making him remove his index finger for it to be replaced with his lips.

‘’Yes, that would be freaking awesome.’’ You whispered against his soft lips. ‘’Hopefully we’ll remember this deal tomorrow morning.’’ You mumbled as your hands reached for his hair.

‘’Oh trust me, I’ll remember.’’ And this was just the beginning, the beginning of a partnership, and not just in the studio.

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thissying · 1 year

Text

NOS interview with Daniel, Australian GP, 1 April 2023

And more in-depth in this article:

With the characteristic wide grin, shining white teeth and his roaring laugh, he is prominent in the paddock, Down Under at the Albert Park circuit. For the first time this year Daniel Ricciardo is present in the guest house of Max Verstappen's team Red Bull Racing. Not as a teammate, not even as a substitute. Although he is a reserve driver, the 33-year-old Australian is mainly used as an advertising pillar and marketing gun.

It looks a bit painful, but Ricciardo is not the type to be taken aback. "I think it's especially cool to be here. A race weekend without stress is quite nice," he says on the track in Melbourne. "Of course it feels double and all feelings come up here, but I also enjoy this life. I have more time for hobbies, friends and family. It's also nice to break fewer days on the plane. It feels less uncomfortable than I feared."

For many years Melbourne was the scene of Ricciardo's home race; now he's standing by the line and everyone wants something from him. An interview, an autograph, a selfie or a chat. But also: team discussions behind the scenes about the optimal set-up of the car. "It's business as usual, really. I'm busy in the paddock all day. My cockpit has been traded for a seat by the pit wall, but the fans give me a warm bath. They still treat me like one of the drivers. Very nice to meet you."

He doesn't like to admit it, but of course it immediately tickles when Ricciardo sees the RB19 of Max Verstappen and Sergio Pérez. Especially now that the car is outflanking the entire field. "It's an exciting car, exceeding all the team's expectations. Nobody expected us to dominate like this. Of course I want to get in and race straight away, but I don't feel any frustration."

Of course, the eight-time grand prix winner is immediately ready to fill in if something unexpected happens to Verstappen or Pérez. "I think he only needs ten minutes to get there," assures team leader Christian Horner. "I make sure I'm fit and ready and if the opportunity arises I will give everything to help the team," added Ricciardo. "Of course the devil in me would like to put something in Max or Checo's shakes so that they get sick for a while, haha. Nope. Just kidding!"

What went wrong with Ricciardo? When did his career decline? For that we have to go back to August 2018. Ricciardo was teammate of Verstappen and was able to extend his contract, but made a surprising switch to Renault. When that team's plans turned out to be much bigger than the results, he moved again in 2021 to a team with mountains of gold: McLaren.

That's where things went terribly wrong. Ricciardo was outclassed by Lando Norris, there was no click with the team and the results were abysmal. The team terminated Ricciardo's contract last year and signed his young compatriot Oscar Piastri. Although Ricciardo touched an impressive transfer fee, he was left empty-handed. No team showed serious interest.

"Of course there is a dent in my confidence," admits Ricciardo. "I felt that even when I got into the Red Bull simulator for the first time recently. I was a bit nervous, felt the pressure and hoped I was still good enough. But I felt in my place again very quickly. I'm home again."

Ricciardo says he has no regrets about his failed transfers. "I'm not like that. Everything happens for a reason. You learn from wrong decisions and setbacks, you grow and you become stronger. That also applies to the two rotten years at McLaren." "But what if?"

What if he had not fled - as team boss Christian Horner put it at the time - with his tail between his legs to avoid the internal duel with Max Verstappen? Would he now be the proud owner of a world title? Probably not. After all, Ricciardo left because he noticed that he was no longer the dream number one of Red Bull Racing. "I noticed that the relationships in the team were changing. Max was the future. That was noticeable in everything."

The team had embraced a new apple of their eye with the still very young Verstappen. The team was built around the Dutchman. The will of the driver, his father Jos and his management became law. And Ricciardo didn't want to play second fiddle. As a grand prix winner, he also felt too good for it, but only managed one more grand prix victory after his departure. His F1 career fizzled out, but Ricciardo is still brooding on a return.

Around the summer he will make a decision about his motorsport future. Options are legion. The driver is so beloved that teams in Nascar, IndyCar or endurance races line up. But for now, 'Dannyric' is holding off and seems to be one more aim all arrows at an F1 seat. "I don't want to compete for the sake of competing. Fighting in the middle or the rear doesn't motivate me. I'm only interested in a fast seat and I don't feel like starting from zero again."

"I made a well-considered decision to take a break to recharge myself. I still support that. I'm not actively looking for a cockpit yet. My feeling is that I want to return to Formula 1 next year. All sorts of factors come into play, but it doesn't feel like I'm retired from F1 right now. I'm still hungry. The fire hasn't gone out yet."

The 41-year-old Aston Martin driver Fernando Alonso is Ricciardo's example. "It's great that he gets a podium two times in a row. I'm enjoying the resurrection of the old man. He's eight years older. I want a revival like that too."

#daniel ricciardo #f1 #i was a lazy ass and mostly google translated that article tbh #my post

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bigfrozenfan-fanfics · 3 months

Text

Chapter 73 - Surprises and a nomination

Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: around every 2-3 weeks

Remarks: all my chapters contain carefully selected music tracks (try to use headphones). It’s your own decision if you want to use them or not while reading. The purpose is to musically support the respective mood of the plot. If you can please use a browser for reading (not the Tumblr app) due to the text formatting and music.

“Alena, are you awake yet?” asked one of the men in the lavvú camp, standing in front of one of the tents. For the noaidi, one of it had been dismantled from Kolgrimr's former camp and rebuilt right next to those of her twenty men especially for Alena. “We need to speak to you urgently,” he said somewhat impatiently.

There was nothing to be heard inside, but the next moment the tent’s canvas was pushed aside and Alena stepped out into the fresh air of dusk.

“I'm awake, I've been awake for a while actually, because I was meditating. What's up?”

“We smell winter approaching and so do our reindeer. They are getting impatient and are ready to migrate to the winter camp with the other herds. We need to get back to our families, Alena. It's time.”

The noaidi nodded. “Yes, you are right about it and I too feel it is high time. Many families who have a further way to go than you and I will surely already be on their way north. However, I'm afraid I must stay here in the Northuldra camp for another day and night, for there is something very important for me to do. Therefore, if you do not mind, I would like to ask you all to ride ahead. Dismantle the lavvús and get ready to leave. I will see you on the plateau in two days.”

“Árnason is staying here too? We could take him with us.”

“No, that's all right. I'd like his company on the way back and he can help me on the road. Tell his family that it will be a little late and everything will be all right. They don't need to worry.”

“We will. Please take good care of each other and good luck.”

~~~

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Elsa had left the kota early and was strolling leisurely through the camp, looking for Yelana. She felt very well this morning, although she had hardly been able to sleep last night after what had happened. It had also become quite chilly and she was looking forward to these temperatures. “I don't mind the cold … finally, it’s here again,” she muttered to herself and, just for fun, let a few big snowflakes form on her hand and float above it.

I wonder where the nature spirits have gone, Ahtohallan is free again now; she thought and looked around to see if she could spot Bruni or Gale somewhere, but saw nothing that pointed to them. Nokk hadn't shown itself yet either and the earth giants preferred to stay among themselves anyway, along the river to the north. She shrugged her shoulders, perhaps she would summon them later today.

There were hardly any Northuldra on the way yet, she really was an incorrigible early riser, as Anna sometimes joked. But then she did run into someone, just as she was turning around one of the huts. Suddenly Honeymaren was standing in front of her and they both just smiled at each other silently at first. Then, for a change, it was Elsa who took the initiative, taking Honeymaren completely by surprise. After a quick sideways glance to make sure no one was watching, she stepped forward and gave her a gentle kiss on her full lips.

“Good morning, Maren,” she wished her softly with a smile and that made Honeymaren beam. She immediately fell around Elsa's neck and kissed her back, with passion. Elsa returned the embrace and even played with Honeymaren's tongue because she was doing the same to her. It was a situation she could never have imagined before last night. It felt great to taste Honeymaren's lips and tongue, to feel her body heat and to breathe in the scent she gave off so soon after getting up.

Maren has made a different person out of me; Elsa thought with amazement and at the same time great satisfaction and they smiled happily at each other as they parted again.

“Why are you out so early in the morning?” asked Honeymaren.

“I could ask you the same thing. You probably couldn't sleep, could you? I, on the other hand, am just an early riser and wanted to see if Yelana was awake yet. I want to talk to her about what brought us here in the first place because of her.”

“And that would be?”

“I don't know, that's the thing. She acted very secretive and we supposedly really needed to see it before we could talk about it and decide.”

“Strange … I can't even think what it could be.” Honeymaren mused strained. “Except …” Her eyes widened. “It can only be one thing really! Yes, I'm pretty sure of that now, but …”

“But?”

“It's a Northuldra secret that no outsider has ever been privy to. It was even whispered to me once by Ryder that Yelana specifically did not invite you to it then because of … because of the danger you posed to our people when Kolgrimr had not yet shown himself but the effects caused by him were already being felt. Everyone was pretty scared.”

“Wait, it has something to do with Kolgrimr? What is it that Yelana has been keeping from us so far?”

“No, nothing about Kolgrimr, it's about our Ting place.”

“Your what?” Elsa was completely taken aback and stared at Honeymaren with big question marks in her eyes.

But Honeymaren suddenly shut up and said, “It's probably better Yelana explains it to you. I'm not allowed to talk about it and I've actually already told you too much.”

“I see …” Elsa looked at her sadly and put a hand on her shoulder. “I'm revealing something to you too, but it's something I'm not really supposed to talk about to you either.”

“What?” Honeymaren looked at her uncomprehendingly.

“Just this much … maybe you will make these kinds of decisions all by yourself in the future.”

“Well, that … I guess that's it then. I've suspected it for a while now, ever since Yelana made those hints to me, but then said nothing more about it. At the time, my mind was also elsewhere.”

Elsa nodded, no longer seeing any reason to keep it from her when she already suspected or thought she knew anyway, “You're right about that. Yelana feels she is too old to lead the Northuldra and wants to nominate you as her successor officially.” They strolled on as they spoke without taking any particular direction.

“Well, I knew it. But for that she needs all the Northuldra and the remaining elders, and that can only be done in one place. All right, if she has already earmarked me for this, then I might as well tell you the secret and about our Ting House, where all important decisions are made that affect us all as a people. Actually, the assembly is called Norting and apparently goes back to centuries of tradition when we had a noaidi and a grand council of elders. There is even a separate entrance for her and I know from Alena that her assembly tent, her big lavvú, also has such an entrance. It's comparable to your council meetings in Arendelle, only with us it's not just a few but almost everyone who votes at the end.”

“That makes sense,” Elsa mused, “and yet Yelana is planning something that will affect all of Arendelle and she also spoke of great changes and a new opportunity with many new possibilities.”

“Hmm … I wonder what that could be. You've really got me curious now. Come on, let's look for her together, because last night she wanted to talk to me urgently and I want to bet it all boils down to me and the Norting. Incidentally, that would be something I would change first and foremost should I become the new leader. And I'm not even sure about that yet, by the way.”

“And what do you want to change?”

“Until now, only men of a certain age were allowed to participate in our Norting, with the exception of Yelana as our leader, of course, but otherwise no women. And yet we do so much for all our people, not only taking care of the little ones and raising them, cooking, making clothes for the men and all that. Even our healer hasn't been allowed to come so far and she really takes care of everyone. That has to change and become the way it used to be and where among our council of elders there were also many of us women, so we had an equal say. After all, this concerns all our people here in the forest!”

“That's a really excellent resolution, Maren, and …. hey, we've arrived at the beach after all, I wasn't paying attention to where we were going,” Elsa said in surprise as they suddenly stepped onto sand.

“Neither did I. It's interesting that we both keep being drawn to the same place. Maybe that means something, who knows “

Surprisingly, they found Yelana sitting there on their tree trunk and Honeymaren remembered that she too liked to get up very early and seek the peace of nature. What better place to do so than this place and they both exchanged meaningful glances.

“Excuse me, Yelana, but may we disturb you?” asked Elsa quietly as they both stepped behind her.

Yelana startled slightly and wheeled around.

“You two, and together … interesting.”

Elsa and Honeymaren looked at each other questioningly. Elsa in particular wondered at this remark.

“You're not interrupting, of course, so please come closer and sit with me.”

They both settled down to the left and right of Yelana, and the first thing they did was to wish her a good morning.

“How can I help you both?” asked Yelana.

“You know why, or surely you can already guess,” said Honeymaren.

“You mean because of what I told you yesterday, when your family and everyone else arrived from Arendelle, that you and I had something important to discuss?” Yelana turned her head once to Elsa and then back to Honeymaren, then cradled it gently. “Could you two perhaps sit down next to each other, so I don't have to keep looking back and forth.”

“But of course, Yelana, sorry,” Elsa said, switching sides to sit close to Honeymaren on her right.

“Well, actually I wanted to discuss this matter with Honeymaren alone first, before announcing the event to our people, and with it the surprise for you, Elsa, why I wanted you and the queen to be there. But looking at you both and how close you seem to have become since yesterday, I might as well speak frankly.”

“Nothing escapes your notice, does it?” asked Honeymaren, amused.

“Only rarely, Honeymaren, that's true.” Yelana had to think back at that moment to one of the few deceptions in her life, when Gyda had lied to her about her son Kolgrimr and she had foolishly defended and taken the old liar's side at the Norting as well.

However, her expression must have reflected her feelings because Honeymaren asked, “Are you all right?”

“Yes, yes, it's nothing, just a sudden memory.” Yelana's face brightened again. “Well, I'm sure you can already guess that I want to put you forward as my successor in front of all the Northuldra, and I also assume that you've already spoken to Elsa about it. And that I can only make this announcement in a special place has probably already been told to you, Elsa, by Honeymaren as well, hasn't it?”

“How …”

“Experience, Elsa, good judge of character and powers of observation. Something you still lack a little, by the way, Honeymaren, but that will come in time.” Yelana sighed. “But I feel there is more … and it's between the two of you. And before you ask, Elsa, I've known about Honeymaren's love for you for a long time. I'm just surprised that despite my advice to her about the far-flung locations and the vast difference from you of royal blood, you two seem to have found each other after all and are, shall we say …. together as lovers.”

Elsa's jaw dropped, something that really happened to her only extremely rarely, but she could not reply because she was too perplexed. She had already realised in the castle of Arendelle that evening from Yelana's look that she knew about Maren's feelings for her, but the fact that Yelana had now also seen through their fresh relationship was something completely different.

Yelana grinned slightly, “But are you sure about the consequences and the difficulties such a relationship entails? You are the big sister of the queen and you have a lot of duties in Arendelle, Elsa, besides the big responsibility. As for you, Honeymaren, know exactly how our people feel about such a union, If they ever discover your secret, you and Elsa would face severe consequences, you may even be banished. You will have to lead them all in the future and make decisions for our people.”

They both nodded and nevertheless looked at each other unabashedly in love in the presence of the old, wise Northuldra.

“We know that, Yelana, and I am grateful that Maren has shown me a side of life that is completely new to me. Besides, Anna would even approve this relationship and she has suspected it for some time. As for Maren and her people, we're already paying attention.”

“Maren then, very nice that name … I'm happy for you and after you saw the secret place and my ideas about it as far as Arendelle is concerned, I now even see a new way for you to be together. At least for a certain time. But more about that tonight under six … er …” Yelana counted briefly, “… no eight eyes, because Anna has to be there too, and by the way, it's good that she probably already knows. Right?”

Elsa fussed a little. “Well, not really yet. I … we still have to tell her.”

~~~

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Anna woke up with a shudder and pulled the reindeer skin up a little further to her chin to snuggle in tightly. She blinked and realised by the light from above and from the light coming in through the gaps in the hut's flap that it was already daytime. She just didn't know what time it was.

It had become quite cold, so cold that she was shivering slightly, and she had no nightgown with her this time, so was lying completely naked under the fur blanket. Stupidly, her clothes would hardly protect her from the cold today, for she had not expected wintry temperatures, at least not so soon.

She glanced to the side where Elsa was supposed to be lying, but of course she wasn't there and had probably already got up hours ago. How long had she been asleep, she wondered, and peeled herself out of the covers to dress and look outside.

As she pushed the flap outwards she heard two pairs of boots clap together in salute to her left and right as the guards stood at attention and placed the outstretched fingers of their right hands to their temples to salute their queen, looking at her freely, courageously and with a decent face.

“Take it easy, boys, we're not in Arendelle,” Anna muttered as she stepped out and gave them a quick, smirking look. “Good morning, by the way. Do you know where my sister Elsa is?”

One of the guards replied. “She left the hut hours ago, but asked not to be followed, Your Majesty.” Anna nodded, pondering.

It was indeed an advanced morning and the cooking fires with small cauldrons on them for breakfast were already going everywhere. Or was it already noon? Anna couldn't tell as she glanced up shiveringly at the overcast sky with no visible sun.

“Why didn't Elsa wake me,” she muttered to herself, trudging through the camp in search of her, slightly annoyed. “Well, maybe it's because she didn't think about the fact that, unlike her, I do mind this cold?” she scolded herself, holding her hands over the flames of the nearest campfire to warm them. “I really need something warm to wear around my neck.”

She was still wondering if it was time for breakfast, or worse, lunch already. Elsa had been awake for a long time and was off somewhere in the camp. If Kristoff were there now, he would surely give me a loving hug and rub my back and arms nice and warm; she thought. “I miss him already, even though it's only been a few days,” she then whispered, looking into the flames in front of her, but seeing into an imaginary distance where Kristoff was walking towards her, waving at her with a smile.

~~~

A few hundred kilometers further south …

“A wonderful good morning,” Karl wished his two guests good-humouredly as they came down the stairs, “Please sit down, breakfast will be ready in a moment.”

“You too, Karl,” Kristoff said with a smile and looked for an empty chair at the table.

Kai hugged his brother briefly, holding him at a distance again to look him in the eye and said, “It's so nice to have breakfast together with you and your sweetheart after so long. You even changed almost nothing in my old room. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go upstairs last time. When I look at my old things and think of the past …”

“I know, because I always firmly believed that you would return to visit us one day! Please sit down in your usual place opposite me.”

Kai settled down and looked around the rustic living room curiously.

“I don't see much that's new here either, Karl, except that painting over there, which I haven't seen before.”

“That was painted for us by the neighbour's daughter. She's very talented and often walks across the plateau with her easel. We really like this view of the valley and we told her so. She wouldn't let it go and just gave it to us the next day when it was finished.”

“I know this viewpoint, I stood there once too many, many years ago and a little further away from it we both stood when I was here last time, when we had our big reunion after so many years and looked down into the valley. That was really nice to experience with you, Karl. So I see you and I still have the same taste.”

At that moment Karl's wife came in with a full tray and put it on the table to serve everything for breakfast.

“Good morning,” she said cheerfully to the group and then looked directly at Kristoff. “I didn't know what you eat in the mornings in Arendelle, Your Highness, so I have prepared what Karl and Kai always like. It's just simple country produce, of course, but I hope you like it anyway,” she added apologetically after sliding a plate over to each and placing the rest in the middle.

“My personal tastes are not that different, because I love fresh scrambled eggs and country bread with lots of butter on it,” Kristoff said, his mouth already watering at the sight of the steaming plate. “Thank you very much, and please just call me Kristoff, …um…”

“Hanna, my name is Hanna.”

“Hanna, yes … We don't have to be so formal here with Kai's family.”

She poured tea into the waiting cups and sat down.

They enjoyed their breakfast in silence and could hear a few chickens clucking through the half-open window outside and a barking dog in the distance, still very small from the sound of it. He seemed to be romping around with some small children, because bright laughter also came from them.

As Kristoff finished eating, took the cup, sat back contentedly in the chair and took a sip of herbal tea, he said, “I like these happy, rural sounds. It's very different in Arendelle. It's always a bit noisy there because of the sounds at the harbour, the market and the rattling of the horse-drawn carts on the cobblestones. And you can't miss our big tower clock either.”

Just as he had said this, a longcase clock near the stairs struck not exactly quietly. Kristoff startled a little and everyone had to laugh at that.

“Sorry, Kristoff,” Hanna said, “but as for the latter, we have something like that too, only a little smaller.”

“It's okay, I just hadn't seen it or I would have been forewarned.”

“It's eight now, so why don't we go on a tour of the village and ask the farmers about the supplies they can spare for Arendelle. We can also ask the two bakers here for flour,” said Karl, looking at the large clock face.

“And afterwards, please don't forget to ask the baron if he can spare some time for me,” Kai added and Karl nodded at him.

“But of course, I haven't forgotten.” He glanced at Hanna as she stood up. “Is there anything else we can help you with, dear?”

“Leave everything, I'll clear the table by myself. You'd better get going, because this is all going to take a lot of time, I'm sure. See you later,” she said, already starting to put everything on the tray.

~~~

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In the far north, Anna was sitting at one of the larger campfires in the Northuldra camp, also enjoying her breakfast. She was glad that it wasn't as late as she had feared, but she hadn't discovered Elsa, even though she had searched the whole camp. Instead, a Northuldra could help her with her problem because she was so cold. She felt much better now and the hot soup that had been made from the leftovers from last night did the rest.

Just then, Arendelle's stable boy Lars walked by with Árnason by his side, engrossed in conversation, and she greeted them both. Lars didn't recognise Anna right away, but then was all the more startled and bowed deeply before continuing on with his new friend, who only waved at Anna with a smile. At that moment, Anna spotted her sister stepping out of the forest with Yelana and Honeymaren and coming closer. As they were about to pass her, Anna rose.

“So there you are Elsa, been looking for you all morning. Good morning, Yelana and Honeymaren.”

Everyone immediately stopped their discussion, for Anna had the impression from the gestures that it was one, and looked at her in some amazement.

“What's that strange thing you're wearing?” asked Elsa with raised eyebrows, looking her up and down. The other two could only grin.

“Well, I was freezing and had a woman make me a poncho out of reindeer fur. All that's really missing is a belt to hold the monstrosity together.”

Elsa laughed, “Oh, sis, you're always good for a little surprise. But I guess we can have something better made for you, can't we Yelana? Something that would go well with Kristoff's leather outfit. That's what you like so much about him, isn't it?”

“That would be great, Elsa. This one ruins my figure a lot, but I just couldn't think of anything better and I needed something to warm me up real quick.”

“You poor thing,” Elsa commented, stepping towards her to wrap her in her arms. “Got rather surprisingly cold, I agree.”

“If you'll let me sit with you later, I'll get us something from yesterday too, Elsa, and see where Mum and Ryder are while I'm at it,” Honeymaren remarked.

“Of course,” Anna and Elsa said almost simultaneously.

“And I'll go ahead and inform everyone,” Yelana added, nodding at them and making off with Honeymaren.

“What does she mean by that?” asked Anna as they both sat on the long wooden log in front of the fire.

“It's about what Yelana wants to show us and about a special gathering of the Northuldra because of Ma … Honeymaren.”

“Ha, gotcha!” exclaimed Anna. “You were about to say Maren again. That's how you addressed her last time here in the camp a long time ago, when we had to flee from Kolgrimr.”

Elsa twisted the corner of her mouth and looked at her sister with a slightly lowered gaze. Anna raised her eyebrows in response. “Is there something I should know, sis?” she added, somewhat stretched.

“Well … er …,” Elsa swayed her head uncertainly, as Anna had seen Yelana do occasionally.

“Now tell me,” her sister urged, nudging her lightly.

Elsa expelled the air. She just had to confess it to Anna and hoped she wasn't too scared about it. “We've been together since last night, Maren and I.”

Anna's breath caught and she could only stare at Elsa for seconds. Then she hugged her tightly.

“Really now? Like, really as a couple?” she then asked as she held her sister by the shoulders a little away from her and looked deep into her eyes. Elsa nodded bashfully.

“But that's great! You've finally found the courage to do it. I'm so happy for you! What did you do? Did you kiss her and all the the romantic stuff?”

“Anna!”

“You can still ask your sister about it, can't you? I'm so curious how you experienced it and how it came about so suddenly. Tell me … come on … please, give me some details …” Anna was all excited and had to think back to her conversation with Elsa under the radiant night sky, with the soft background music from the field camp.

“It kind of came naturally and by the way it was more than just a kiss, Anna. It was … beautiful with her and … exciting,” Elsa replied softly.

“You had really made love to each other and you … even down there … caressed?” Elsa nodded.

“But only she me.”

“Wow, I experienced the same thing with Kristoff … In the bath and later in bed too.”

“But not with the … I guess.” Elsa pointed tentatively at her mouth.

“Oh yes he did! He did and it was fantastic. Now I know how you must have felt.”

Elsa smiled dreamily. “Yes, I'll never forget that either … my first time. She was so gentle and tender, Anna, but then also so tempestuous, you can't imagine. Next time I will try to do the same for her if we get a chance. After all, here with the Northuldra, unlike in Arendelle, it's taboo.” Anna nodded in understanding.

“You amaze me, sis, that you were able to jump over your own shadow and finally put your heart and soul to a great love. I'm proud of you and very delighted you have found someone who loves you for what you are.” Anna hugged her again and out of the corner of her eye saw Honeymaren coming towards her, balancing three guksis in front of her.

“I'm back and I brought you something warm,” she said as she sat down next to them and handed over the bowls.

“Thank you,” they both said, and while Elsa began to eat, Anna unintentionally looked at Honeymaren a little more closely, looking at her with different eyes than before, now that she was her sister's lover. But Honeymaren noticed these glances immediately, paused with the spoon in front of her mouth and lowered it again in surprise to look at Elsa reprovingly.

“Elsaa? You've been chatting with Anna, haven't you?”

Elsa almost spluttered the stew out of her mouth and looked at Honeymaren from the side, caught. All three women now looked wordlessly into each other's eyes in turn, not quite knowing how to react. The secret was out now and there was no turning back.

“Don't worry, Maren … I can call you Maren, can't I? I don't mind at all, really. Elsa and I have no secrets from each other and I can only say it's nice that you two have found each other and are happy. Because I am too, for my dear sister who has finally discovered love for herself,” she said smiling with an affectionate look at Elsa.

Honeymaren breathed a sigh of relief. “It's all right then. Elsa already told me that you wouldn't mind such a relationship.”

No one said anything more and instead contentedly spooned the delicious stew into themselves. A little later, Elsa stood up and asked for the empty guksis.

“I'll go to the camp and take the bowls right away. I'll also make sure with Yelana that you get something better to wear, sis.”

When she was gone and out of sight, Anna moved a little closer to Honeymaren. Her expression darkened as she did so and when she had her face just inches from Honeymaren's, she raised her index finger in the air in front of her in warning.

“I can promise you one thing though, Honeymaren. If you ever harm or hurt my sister and make her cry, you will bitterly regret it. Because if you do, I will finish you off.”^

Honeymaren took hold of Anna's index finger and slowly pushed her hand down. She smiled in understanding and nodded slightly in response. Then she replied in a low voice, "Anna, I know you care deeply for your big sister and I will protect her with my own life if I have to, you just have to believe that. I will never hurt Elsa, because I love her more than anything."

~~~

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In the afternoon, Anna wore a gakti tailored for her and, except for her strawberry-blond long hair, was hardly distinguishable from the Northuldra around her. She found the clothes very comfortable and they also warmed much better than her royal traveling clothes with the short bolero over the thin dress. She was especially taken with the comfortably warm fur boots, which looked confusingly like Kristoff's.

It was a long procession across the forest, always heading north. They walked for almost an hour between first light birch trees and then through increasingly dense vegetation. When they finally arrived in front of a wide brook, the way seemed to go no further, because on the opposite side high bushes blocked the way. At least that's how it looked at first glance.

But Anna and Elsa only had to follow the others and waded across a shallow ford to the other bank. Where just a green wall prevented them from going further, a narrow path suddenly opened up as the Northuldra bent the branches to the side in front of them.

What they saw then, as they stepped into the almost circular large clearing beyond, took both of their breath away. There was something magical about this place and the unusual, large building in the middle of it.

Yelana stood waiting not far in front of them, facing them.

“How did you guys build this?” asked Elsa, impressed, as she stood in front of her. “It looks like the birch trees grew through the roof and are supporting the whole building. And then there are these straight as a die tall birch trees all around the outside. Even our best builders in Arendelle can't get that right. You have indeed not promised too much, Yelana.”

Anna, too, stood open-mouthed and finally looked up at the open spire, which had a pyramid-shaped little roof above it. Someone was standing up there looking down at them.

“I'll tell you my idea for this a little later, after I've made the proposal to my people and it's been voted on. Why don't you go ahead inside? I have to meet someone first and I'll be right up.”

The sisters followed the others through a large double doorway inside into a large hall that was already well filled. Both looked up in amazement at an impressive, free-hanging construction of a winding staircase that led up to the top of the tower. The crowd in front of them made way and let them through to the front, to where Honeymaren was already standing and waiting at the foot of this staircase with an equally astonished face.

Behind them now the entrance was closed audibly loud and it became quiet in the hall. Everyone was waiting for something, or rather someone, because shortly after Yelana, followed by Alena, entered through a side door and went forward to join the three of them.

She stood in front of them, while Alena went to Honeymaren's side and nodded to her. The noaidi had her drum in her hand and the young Northuldra already guessed what she was going to do with it.

“Thank you all for coming. I will now share with you why I have called a Norting,” Yelana began. “Today will change many things for us and I hope for the better. Today is also a very special day because for the first time in many decades, a noaidi is present and will look into the near future for us.”

All eyes then turned to Alena and Honeymaren nodded imperceptibly.

“I have to tell you today that I have grown too old to remain as your leader and will be leaving you shortly.”

A murmur went through the crowd and many a person shouted “But why?”, or “We want you to stay, Yelana!”, “After all these decades you want to leave us? We need you, Yelana!” and other voices. The old Northuldra gave them a pass and felt grateful for these heartfelt reactions.

When things quieted down again, she continued speaking. “The danger from Kolgrimr and his allies is finally over, our people are safe again and we see the open sky above us. We, the people of the Sun, will have a new leader, someone who has courageously proven herself and significantly helped to banish this danger at the risk of her own life and even had to suffer a heavy loss. You all know and love her, because I am talking here about Honeymaren Nattura!”

There was actually almost no one in the hall who was not astonished by this and this could be clearly read in the faces. But no one started the grumbling or cried out.

“You must be wondering if it's the right choice, and even though I'm firmly convinced of it myself, in a moment Alena, who was actually just visiting and got dragged into the tragic story, will look into the future for us.” Yelana waved behind her, beckoning the two to join her. “Please both step forward.”

Honeymaren and Alena complied, the young Northuldra keeping her head down and her hands crossed in front of her.

“Alena was an instrumental ally in the outcome of the war, for she discovered and uncovered a fifth monolith and guided Elsa, our fifth Spirit, to the spiritual plane, where she was ultimately able to free Ahtohallan and, with whose help Kolgrimr and his evil mother Gyda were banished forever. You can all imagine what our future would be like if this had turned out differently. Ryder Nattura and his new friend Indu from the far north, together with Honeymaren and Elsa, fought our enemy Kolgrimr at that fifth monolith and together they were able to drive him into Ahtohallan's trap.”

She paused for a moment. “Ryder, Indu, please step forward and show yourselves. And you too, Elsa, please.”

As everyone stepped beside Yelana in amazement, she smiled and raised her voice.

“Please now honor our liberators, all of whom stand beside me!”

It took only seconds for applause to erupt, many in the hall clapping their hands, and all who had a battle staff with them stamping it rhythmically on the floor. A little later, the first ones sang a joik of honor, testifying to their great gratitude. Yelana also stomped her short birch staff on the ground and sang along loudly.

It went on like this for minutes, and many a tear and a grateful smile appeared on the faces of the honorees. Anna had gone to one of the upper steps to see everything better and clearly showed pride in her countenance, for Elsa, but also for the two Nattura siblings.

When it was finally over, Yelana asked for a vote on whether Honeymaren was accepted as the new leader at all. The vote was by a show of hands and no hand was seen not to go up.

“Do you accept the election, Honeymaren Nattura?” asked Yelana.

The addressed was moved, but still felt uncertain, especially because a plan was going through her mind since the conversation with Alena. And this one had also become difficult, because now she had a relationship with her beloved Elsa.

Honeymaren was unsettled, so, surprising many, she replied, “I want Alena to look into my future, because I need certainty about a particular thing.”

Silence returned and the noaidi stepped forward. She first looked deeply into Honeymaren's eyes for a few moments before she began beating the drum, walking slowly around her and singing a joik. At some point Alena stopped, closed her eyes still standing upright, and had fallen into a trance. The joik and drum fell silent for seconds.

“I see Honeymaren. Very clearly, as if from far away. She will go on a long journey. I see her moving with the great herds of reindeer, in ice and snow, and I see a journey of experiences and discoveries. She is finding herself, learning new skills, and meeting lots of people of the People of the Sun who speak many languages. In the process, she travels far up into the cold north, to where the reindeer migrate each year. This journey will take a whole year and when she returns down to the summer camp with the great herds of reindeer, she will be a new person and ready to become the new leader of the Northuldra. She will usher in a new era and take the first step into a new future.”

Minutes later, Alena opened her eyes again, lowered her drum and looked at Honeymaren in surprise. Then she spoke to Yelana and everyone else present.

“And it will begin with me, for she will accompany me to the great reindeer camp on the plateau, along with the captured Northmen and some Northuldra who will follow her willingly.”

She paused for a moment and turned to the young Northuldra, “I am surprised myself by what I saw, Honeymaren, but there can be no doubt. It is true, and I believe you have already toyed with the idea of accompanying me, haven't you?”

Honeymaren nodded sadly, for she had to think of the great love she had to leave behind for this journey. “Yes, it is so and I was very unsettled. But now you have seen it and through you I know which way to go … for all of us.”

~~~

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Remark: I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know, except you are already tagged :-)

Tagging: @true--north @annaofthenorthernlights @dronning-formynder05

#frozen #frozen2 #frozen3 #fanfic #epic novel #the broken bridge #chapter 73 #bigfrozenfan #elsamaren

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