#like SIR you were 40 at the youngest and he is 10. you are NOT equally culpable

[devildomwriter]

Satan Birthday Special 100 Fun Facts

1. Satan was born from a combination of Lucifer’s intense wrath and him tearing off his wings, this gave Satan flesh for a body

2. Physically, Satan is the youngest but he is ranked fourth as he is fourth strongest of the seven brothers

3. Satan often fears he is nothing but a lesser copy of Lucifer

4. Satan’s wrath was so out of control after his birth his brothers did anything they could to stop his rages, including tying him in chains and stuffing him in a locker, knocking him out, or holding him underwater until he passed out

5. When Satan discovered cats he burst into Levi’s room demanding to know more about this

6. Satan believes Leviathan is mature in the way he focuses on other people’s opinions

7. Satan has always been a demon and accepting wrath as part of who he was so he did not struggle with his sin like his brothers did

8. Satan treasures the first things his brothers ever gave him

9. Satan’s tail is spiky and you can be injured touching it if you aren’t careful

10. Satan gets angriest over petty inconveniences

11. Simeon believes that Satan always only wearing one sleeve of his jackets is his way of rebelling

12. Satan has a tendency to overthink things

13. Satan does his best to avoid arguing with his brothers even when they annoy him

14. Satan is compared to a cat by his brothers due to his tendency to show up in completely random places when you least expect

15. Satan has connections in almost every industry as he’s easily able to socialize and make friends

16. Satan claims his books are organized in a way he understands

17. Once Satan’s books collapsed on him and he stayed there for several days relaxing

18. Satan enjoys the fine arts and likes going to art museums

19. Satan enjoys theatre and the opera

20. Satan easily gets his hands on rare and cursed objects to the point it impresses Lucifer

21. Satan has successfully cursed Lucifer several times. The worst of them being when he transferred his pain from Solomon’s cooking to Lucifer.

22. Satan originally looks down on manga but changes his mind after reading a bunch of manga Levi switched out in his room as a prank

23. Satan loves watching dramas and mysteries, especially Mid-Fall Murders

24. Due to watching crime shows regularly Satan believed that when dining in the human world you tell the waitress you’d like “the usual” and they’ll know what you mean

25. Although originally Satan complains he’s never beat Diavolo in chess, it’s implied he finally beats him in season 3

26. Satan has a major inferiority complex when it comes to Lucifer which causes him to often doubt himself

27. Satan is subscribed to Monthly Devil Architect’s Digest

28. Satan was once cursed to see everything as cats, he wasn’t the least bit bothered

29. Satan gifted Lucifer a scarf that was cursed to grow eternally

30. Satan doesn’t seem to realize how terrifying his anger is when he is visibly confused as to why his brothers are hiding

31. Satan has hoarded cats in the past and is no longer allowed to have any

32. Satan feeds a local cat he has named Sir Cat

33. Satan gives MC instructions on feeding many of the cats who come by serenity manor

34. When attempting to turn Simeon’s cafe into a cat cafe he “borrowed” a bunch of cats from witches. He was distressed when they were all returned to their owners.

35. Satan once fell asleep with a cat in public and ended up covered in Hell Zakura petals. Solomon thought it was cute.

36. Satan cursed a pizza deliverer for putting pineapple on their pizza

37. Satan desires to be on the receiving end of a loving headbutt by a cat in full force

38. Satan checks cat blogs before he goes to bed as they give him energy for the next day

39. Satan has to be told to stop using cat stickies as he puts them everywhere

40. Satan covered his and Belphegor’s laptops in cat stickers

41. Satan enjoys classical music, symphonies, and Ska music

42. Satan prefers food chunkier than smooth because it has more bite to it

43. Satan enjoys the bitterness of Dark chocolate

44. Satan has said his type is someone he can have a mutual understanding with when it comes to anger

45. Satan has had things thrown at his head multiple times in the game, some of these items include a pillow, a piece of trash, and a pile of pancakes

46. Satan hates baby talk, more specifically when Asmodeus uses it

47. Satan has inherited some of Lucifer’s memories and emotions

48. When Satan was cursed to stay close to Lucifer he would just stare and growl at Lucifer from the corner of the room

49. Satan’s antagonistic behavior towards Lucifer is somewhat compulsive as even he wishes he didn’t dedicate so much time to Lucifer but cannot stop himself

50. Satan let’s Belphegor sleep on his lap even though it annoys him

51. Satan learned how to read ancient human text from Solomon

52. Satan considers Mephistopheles an ally since they both dislike Lucifer

53. In a love survey on B’s Log Satan says he wants to “bind and monopolize” his lover and is the active one pursuing love

54. Satan cherishes relationship anniversaries and special dates of remembrance

55. In a relationship with obstacles, Satan chooses to face the difficulties with passion

56. When it comes to a lover, Satan said he would get jealous easily

57. Satan originally did not understand humans and assumed they’d all be fine receiving expensive items and gems as gifts and was angry when MC did not

58. Satan has ranked his favorite cat positions as stalk-straight tail, slow blink, making biscuits, head butting, and bellyflops

59. Satan secretly dislikes Green Peas

60. Satan is annoyed by the RAD Newpsaper Club account and has the notifications for it turned off

61. Satan says he tends to sleep on his stomach to avoid being hit in the face when his books randomly come avalanching down on him

62. Satan starts all his baths by washing his left arm

63. Satan’s daily activity is petting a cat

64. Satan’s dream is to have a cat

65. On sleepless nights, Satan calls MC because he finds their voice soothing

66. Satan’s motto is “Wisdom is the treasure of all generations.”

67. Satan’s rage emits so much energy it’s too much for humans to handle and can shake buildings and break things without getting near them

68. Satan sends cursed chain mail to Lucifer daily

69. When Mammon could only speak cat, Satan was called to help and he spent the day happily playing with cat toys with Mammon

70. Satan became enraged with Raphael when he was compared to Lucifer

71. Satan is very knowledgeable when it comes to the constellations and the specific stars among them

72. Satan believes Easter is the perfect excuse to throw eggs at Lucifer

73. Satan looks forward to fall as he believes it’s the best season for reading

74. Satan has trouble eating something if it looks like a cat

75. Satan always has a bag of cat treats with him wherever he goes

76. Satan seems to remember exactly where he left off in a book when he falls asleep reading. In an interview with B’s Log he says “Yesterday I was in the mood for The Complete Book of Cat's Paws, but I fell asleep on the Havana Brown page, around line no. 27.”

77. Satan sometimes hums the theme song to mid fall murders

78. Satan’s compliments often sound more like insults

79. Satan originally took Levi to be a nobody with no powers.

80. Satan once used Diavolo as a hostage

81. When Satan wanted to get MC a gift he offered to kill someone for them

82. Satan enjoys a railroad building mobile app

83. In the baseball game in the anime, Satan’s team lost 0 to 666 but Satan still claims it’s the game where he trumped Lucifer

84. Satan owns a book that can enter the memories of whoever first opens it

85. Satan built a life like snow sculpture of Lucifer out of spite, knowing Lucifer would feel uncomfortable

86. Satan once decorated the backyard with cat towers hoping it’d become a cat colony

87. Satan is the secretary of the RAD student council

88. Satan is the one who introduced the idea of second-hand/used bookstores to the Devildom.

89. Satan has a collection of priceless jewels that are rare in both the human world and Devildom. It’s not stated how he got his hands on them but he is alluded to being very wealthy by Leviathan

90. Believing they were lost deep in the forest, Satan initiated sex with MC but they were immediately after found by Beelzebub

91. Satan said if he was in a horror movie he’d be the silent killer “helping” the detectives and frame Lucifer for all the murders

92. Satan once got into a fight with Beelzebub over who liked Devilcat most

93. Satan once went to a riddle event with Solomon and MC

94. Satan bribed Barbatos with rare tea to let him go to the human world alone

95. In an interview with B’s Log he said his everyday small happiness is gaining new knowledge

96. Something Satan believes is absolutely not allowed in front of him is disrespecting cats and is quoted saying “Dare to make disrespectful remarks about cats in front of me. I’ll **** and **** your ****.” — B’s log

97. Satan’s three rules for his daily life are — Read books, play with cats, and make time for yourself

98. When asked if he prefers mature or child-like people, he states he prefers mature people and then immediately references Simeon

99. Satan is skilled with cooking stews and enjoys working with the variety of spices and herbs Barbatos gives him

100. Satan believes his composure makes him “cool” and that he only “very, very occasionally” loses his temper

#obey me fun fact #obey me fun facts #obey me satan #om satan #happy birthday Satan #omswd Satan #obey me shall we date Satan

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 20 June 1832

9 ¾

12 35

rain in the night – fine morning F66° at 10 – down to breakfast at 11 35 - very kind letter 2 1/2pp. from Mrs. H.S. Belcombe, York, to announce her return from Harrogate and say she hoped to see me for a little while on my return – odd sort of civil letter from Mr. Parker my attorney at H-x – could not imagine what he was driving at by his apologizing for the liberty taken ‘in my present application, which is on behalf of a young friend, Mr. Edwards Dyson, the youngest son of Mrs. Dyson of Willow field – the gentleman, a genteel youth between 17 and 18, who at present is, and for some time past has been with a private tutor near Cheltenham, is wishful to go upon the continent for 2 or 3 months this summer, and his mother is naturally anxious that he should accompany a respectable and intelligent party – now being very well aware of your experience and judgment in such matters, it has occurred to me that perhaps you might know of some small party taking a continental trip, to whom my young friend might introduced with safety and advantage – could you at all assist us in this matter   it would indeed confer the greatest obligation – Perhaps it is unnecessary to remark that expense would be quite a secondary consideration – I have the honour to remain, Madam, with great consideration your faithful servant Robert Parker’!!! to which I have just written in answer ‘Langton hall – Wednesday 20 January 1832. Sir – nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be able to be of any use to you in any way; and I should also be exceedingly glad to have it in my power to be of any sort of service to Mrs. Dyson of Willow field; but, I regret to say, in the present instance, I know of no means whatever by which I can help you at all – one circumstance or other seems to have caused so great a stagnation among continental travelling parties, that I hear of nothing but indefinite delays or schemes given up – with every possible wish for you success, I am, sir, the obligated A Lister’ - then till about 3 wrote 3pp. and ends to M- 10 days since I wrote wonder I have not heard from her hope it is not on account of illness – have waited to the last in the hope of fearing from her ‘to see whether it was possible to arrange our meeting again and have just determined to leave here on Monday next – as this was not fixed till last night, I could not name it to you before’ – mention having heard this morning from Mrs. Henry Belcombe – should have been glad to spend a little while with her on my return but had just written to her to say that tho’ I was not so alarmed as Mrs. N- at cholera I knew my aunt would be so alarmed at my staying now in York, that I really dared not sleep there and durst only hope to see my friends for an hour or 2 en passant – said I had heard how their (the Lawtons’) plans were changed – York and even Harrogate given up – but M- still still hoped to be in York after their return from London – hoped to be at Shibden by 8 or 9 on Monday evening – feared the cholera had reached Bradford – broken out in London – Mrs. Henry Robinson just brought to bed of a little girl – hope to find a letter from M- at Shibden ‘God bless you my dearest Mary! I shall hardly feel satisfied till I have heard that you are well – Believe me always very entirely and especially yours AL’ I had some difficult to spin it out but it is well enough expressing my anxiety to hear that William Lawton was not likely to disappoint her in anything – ‘I found your little charge’ (little Mariana) ‘is arrived – I shall be glad to see her improved, as I trust she is, in every respect and grown too’ – wrote all the above of today till 3 ¾ - dressed – wrote 2pp. to my aunt – dinner at 4 40 – wrote and sent off this morning at 12 ¼ by James Marshall a ½ sheet full and 1p. of ½ sheet envelope to ‘Mrs. Henry Belcombe, Minster yard, York’ chitchat thank her very much for her kind letter – a great disappointment to me not to be able to spend a little while with her but my aunt would be alarmed etc. an inconvenience to me also thus to hurry out of York, as I had business there I was anxious to settle – said the cholera was a better excuse than usual for the Lawtons change of plans - came to my room at 6 ¼ finished my letter of 3 pages to my aunt merely thanks for her letter and the parcel received on the 12th and to sat I had ‘just fixed to be off from here on Monday morning, stay an hour or 2 in York about the business you know I am so anxious to settle, and hope to reach you about nine in the evening of that day’ - had intended staying a few days but thought it best to keep out of the way of cholera as much as one could - mentioned my letter and draft to Mr Henry Playforth sent off on Monday and begged Marian to name it, if she was writing to any of her friends at Market W- Steel going to Malton and sent off at 6 ¾ my letter to my aunt ‘Shibden hall H-x’ and to ‘Mrs. Lawton, Lawton hall, Lawton, Cheshire’ and to ‘Robert Parker Esquire, the Square H-x’ tea – looking over and making notes from Mrs. N- MS. account taken from his letters of Norcliffes tone to the northern capitals –

walked with CN- in the East balk field or ½ hour then a few minutes in the garden but rain sent me in at 1 ½ -

¾ hour tête-à-tête with CN- very good friends as usual - came to my room at 11 ¾ - CN- with me a few minutes – dull morning – rain from 1 ½ for the rest of the day and all the evening – heavy rain with thunder and forked lightning – F66° at 12 tonight -

[windmill-ghost]

Re: that stuff I was saying yesterday about teen!Raz and Ford’s relationship (and the Hand), of course I’ve thought about a scene where Raz can’t repress his feelings any more and blows up at him. How can you expect me to have not.

#wg speaks #camp counselor raz #psychonauts spoilers // #i have softened on ford a bit with some distance but it still REALLY irks me how he both #1. says WE when talking about his mistakes and seems to be roping raz into the blame because raz made him remember #2. justifies what he did with 'i was young and inexperienced and didnt know what to do' #like SIR you were 40 at the youngest and he is 10. you are NOT equally culpable #not to mention in the same vein... ford got to live most of his life before The Fuckening. raz was BORN into it. his childhood was stolen #like. not only did he have to worry about his own death from the moment he could understand what death was #but the curse is ALSO why half the family is repressing being psychic. its WHY he thought his father hated him and would never accept him #in the first game when ford is asking why his father hates psychics he actually says 'what did we ever do to him' #like hoo boy the answer to that is more literal than you think because YOU certainly did a lot to him

[writingsfromhome]

Bad Timing I

A/N: This is you and your ex, (Detective) Harry, winding up in each other’s lives again after a traumatic event in your life. I’ve had this idea in my notes app for like a year, and I just decided to go for it this week! It’s a little all over the place as I set it up but I think the next part will go a lot better if you can stick with it (and I appreciate you if you can <3).

Warnings: Violence (guns), PTSD?

Part 1 / (.5) / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

------------------------------------------

I had booked Thursday and Friday off in advance. I made sure my e-mails were forwarded, my clients were told I wouldn't be in, and any internal matters were allocated to my assistant. It was going to be a relaxing long weekend where I could have a homemade meal for once and watch Netflix all day. I was my branch’s youngest director and even though it was a fulfilling job, I hadn't had a day off since I got the position four months ago.

This was probably why, at 9am, I get a call from my assistant. One of our bigger clients was refusing to discuss his loan terms with anyone and wanted to speak to me directly.

"Tell him I'm not in Adam, you shouldn't even be calling me-I have the bloody day off."

"Yess but he said he's coming in at 10 and if you're not here he's switching banks for his personal and business accounts." Adam stuttered. “If you lose this client H-”

"Jesus," I look at my outfit and the time-I barely had any time to make it to the bank; it took me 40 minutes just to get to work. "I'll be there-distract him if I'm late. Oh! Ask about his daughter's new private school!"

I rush to my room and apply minimal makeup, pull back my y/h/c hair and throw on my black cigarette pants and a blazer. I'm halfway down the lift when I realise I was still in my t-shirt. "Shite," I mutter. I button the blazer and put my scarf around my neck so it's covered. That was decent enough for my day off.

I arrive breathless and sweaty 5 minutes early to the bank despite the cool weather. Might have seemed like a win if that wasn’t when everything went downhill. Just as I walk up to the side door, waving at Adam who was walking out to greet me, a crash from the entrance startles me.

"Hands up!” A loud voice booms from behind me. “Don't touch a fucking thing!" I turn, seeing Adam’s shocked expression, just in time to be shoved to the floor by four people dressed all in black, and wearing celebrity masks. In all my time working here, I’d never been part of a bank heist and some part of me is frozen, mind blank. I wasn’t even supposed to be here!

"I said to put your hands up!" The one with a Brad Pitt face points the gun around the room as people scramble for cover. I inch backwards to the counter as I watch them manhandle the customers and pull our bankers to the floor. I release a breath, trying to snap out of the shock I seemed to be in. The base of a column digs into my back and I focus on that to ground myself, scanning each robber, and where my employees were. Adam has his hands on his head, the closest one to me. I try to catch his eye to reassure him but he’s squeezing them tight. I didn’t blame him, Brad Pitt stands over him menacingly. I look to the customers, they weren’t trying to be smart--that was good. I’d watched enough TV to know that was never a smart move.

Just as I think that, from the corner of my eye, I catch Cole, one of our guards reach for his gun. A loud shot echoes through the small space and I swivel my head trying to see what's happened while making sure everyone was okay. The thief wearing a Kanye West mask, manning the front entrance of the bank, had shot Cole in the arm and he was bleeding all over the floor. My first instinct is to help him but I'm yanked back down before I make it a step.

"We’re not missing the next person who moves a muscle. I want you all to drop your phones in the middle! No. Fucking. Funny business." The thief who shot Cole points his gun to all of us and it takes all of me to not hyperventilate. I hear a few people crying but I don't dare look. Instead, I watch on as David Beckham drags Cole to the side and ties his hands behind him. I can see by the wincing that they didn’t care whether they twisted his arms too hard. This wasn’t a petty robbery, they were hardcore.

"Who has the passcode to the vault?" Brad Pitt asks as one of his friends goes around zip tying everybody's hands behind them. When nobody answers he shoves the gun in Adam’s face and I let out a sob. What did we do to deserve this?

"Me," I choke out. “Don’t hurt him, I have the passcode. I know it.”

"You?" The man asks. "You better not be lying bitch or you'll be joining your friend there."

I nod as he pulls me up by the arm and uses my scarf to tie my hands. I try to stay calm, the only way I could get through this before the police arrived was to keep my calm. Everything in me is screaming to do something--fight, scream, swear, cry, but I keep my mouth shut and follow Brad Pitt and the joker to the back. I'm led at gunpoint to the vault and they untie me so I can put in the code and my thumbprint. The one in a Joker mask presses her gun into my back and I know the least of my worries was a bruise but that was the only thing I could focus on.

She shoves me forward when I pause, hovering my finger over the finger pad, in the distance I hear sirens. Please let us all be okay, I pray.

"Don’t be a fucking hero, let’s go!" The female behind me yells in my ear and I rush to press my thumb.

As soon as I finish the procedure, I feel an explosion like fireworks against the side of my head and everything goes dark.

H POV:

I walked into the station around 10, just having come back from a nearby escalated domestic call. It wasn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever been involved in at 10am on a Thursday morning.

"Harry, there seems to be some sort of commotion near Holborn, the director wants you in his office." Serena, the receptionist tells me gravely. I don’t even consider the street, assuming it would be another criminal to go after. But when I go into the office, we get the rundown: there was a robbery happening at the HSBC. That’s when I understand the gravity of the situation.

"We’ve sent a few men right now, they seemed to be armed so proceed with caution." He warns. I had been on the force for over four years; I moved rank fast and knew how to handle myself so the warning was mostly for the junior constables. But my heart thuds violently in my chest when I think about the possibility...no. I had to focus. But I can’t help but try her cell on our way to the scene. When it continues to ring, my thoughts go to the worse place possible. I know I hadn’t spoken to her in nearly a year, like she wanted, but if anything happened to her, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

When we arrive at the scene, the thieves are still inside. I make sure nobody makes any moves, following protocol, and trying to gauge the exact situation inside. But before I could give orders, a man holding up his zip-tied hands shuffles out of the building. I notice the terror on his face and the fact that he's not armed.

"Down!" I say. The restless energy building up inside of me makes every move feel frantic.

"They left out the back! They left!" The man's shaky voice reaches our ears. I gesture a few of the officers to head around back and radio in the update.

"Get his statement, be sensitive,” I snap at the closest officer before I take a few of my officers indoors. The scene inside only reminds me why I do what I do, there's glass on the floor, phones in a pile and bullets littering the floor. Everyone looks shocked, people are crying, and a man in the corner is bleeding profusely.I scan all their faces but I don’t see her. I pray that she might have taken the day off today or something, even though I knew she rarely every did. Where was she?

"Medical," I order. I face the crowd, "You're all alright, If everyone can slowly get up and follow Officer McGregor out, we'll see that your belongings are returned to you and collect statements later. You’re all alright now."

"Sir," a bloke off to the side steps forward from the group getting up. "Our manager was taken to the back...we're not sure how she is, she hasn't come out...”

I reassure the crowd she should be fine. I didn't want them to see me panic, not to mention if we had any casualty the press outside were going to bombard this crowd with insensitive questions and I really wanted to keep this on the low. I was considered young for a DCI and any screw up meant I took it twice as hard. And I didn’t know if I could behave normally if I didn’t find her in any way except breathing. I put on my brave face.

I get an officer to stand by and venture cautiously into the back, spotting an open vault. I hurry into the area when I spot her, laying motionless on the floor.

“Y/N,” I rush forward, skidding on my knees to check on her. “Pleasepleaseplease.” I put my fingers to her pulse and nearly shout in relief. She was alive! I send a thanks out into the universe, to whoever was watching over her. “Y/N! Y/N, can you hear me?”

Her eyes flutter under her lids. I turn her gently onto her back, she was wearing a Green Day t-shirt under a smart jacket and trousers--that was unlike her. She always dressed very smart. I gently remove her short strands off her face to reveal a nasty bruise on the side of her head. I try to stifle my heartbeat; it scared me seeing her like this. I’m about to call my officer but her long lashes flutter and suddenly she's looking at me, dazed.

"Y/N! Are you alright?" I inquire. She blinks, and then again, her eyebrows drawn together as she stares at me. I try again, “Y/N, answer me please! Are you alright?”

"I...do I...bloody look alright? Where did they go?" She snaps out of her daze and tries to sit up but her hand goes to her head which must be throbbing. I place a hand on her back so she doesn't fall back down.

"Oh thank god,” I sigh in relief, she could talk. She was alright. “Th-they’'ve managed to escape. We'll deal with that. You were knocked unconscious so we should get you checked-”

"Those bastards," she snarls. I bite back a chuckle as I help her up. She pushes me away as soon as she's on her feet. "I wasn't even supposed to bloody be here today you know that? It was my day off and....Jesus.” She clutches her forehead. “How's everyone else? Chris? Adam?"

"Everyone is fine, your guard’s being taken to hospital. Everyone else is untouched, we need to have you checked out though." I am mesmerized, as always, by her ability to talk about ten things at once.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s my case, I guess,” I tell her, expecting the question. She scowls. “I’ll have to ask you some questions later, but Y/N we need to have your head checked.”

“I’m sure you’d like that,” she mumbles.

“You’re proving by the second that you’re quite alright but we’ve got to get you to a medic anyway,” I gesture forward so she can walk ahead of me. I didn’t want her falling or anything. The constable at the door watches her walk out and eyes me warily.

"She need her statement taken chief?"

"I'll take her down to the station myself--she's hurt." I dismiss the officer and follow Y/N out. I wanted to keep an eye on her right now. “Can I help you walk?”

“My legs are working fine,” she snarls whilst clutching her forehead.

Your POV:

I could not believe today's turn of events. I was supposed to have a relaxing day off but instead, I’m rushed to work so I could be held up by thieves, forced to help them rob my branch, only to be mildly concussed. And the person on the case is none other than my ex-husband Harry Styles.

The only thing going for me is that I don't cry easily (or i would be a sniffling mess right now). And Harry was the last person I wanted to cry in front of although he’s seen me at much worse. I push aside those memories, ignoring his lingering eyes and try to walk ahead of him.

I cover up my shaking hands by stuffing them under the blanket I'm wrapped in when Harry leads me to the ambulance. He stays to the side while the medic goes through a questionnaire and informs me on what I need to know about being mildly concussed. All I could think about is the feeling of a gun pressed to the small of back, the chill of it through fabric. 

"Miss?" The medic asks.

"Sorry, I got it. Yes. Thank you."

"I asked how you got here?" The medic begins to look concerned. Shit. I did not want more attention.

"I...meant I got what you were saying. Sorry, I rode the tube in."

"Great. You can ride with me to the station," Harry says from the side. I avoid his gaze but I have to agree. There was no way I was taking the tube during a time like this. I had a concussion.

So I'm sat in the back whilst Harry drives with his partner. I catch Harry glancing in the rear-view more often than he should and when we make eye contact, he gives me a reassuring smile. But sitting in the back of the car, I feel like the metal tip of a gun still keeps my spine straight. My lungs feel like they're not expanding large enough for air and I clutch the seatbelt strapping me in. I try to name all the countries I could remember--a coping technique I’d used since I was a kid to try and distract myself.

"You alright miss?" The other officer sounds concerned.

"Yeah," I choke out. "Just a little stuffy back here."

"Oh ‘m sorry," Harry opens the back window and I greedily gulp the fresh air coming in. My panic subsides and I settle back into the seat.

*

"And that's all you remember?" Harry sits on the desk chair next to me even though his own seat remains empty behind the desk.

"Exactly as I've told you, like, 20 times Harry."

It was now two hours later; I'd sat waiting for an hour before receiving my phone only to find multiple calls from the bank’s higher-ups. After dealing with them, I had to wait another half hour before finally being interviewed. I proceeded to drink two cups of bad coffee while giving every detail of what I remember, their masks, and so on. Every time I said something that could help, Harry would backtrack and I would explain it three different ways. It was frustrating and the repetition kicked my anxiety up so that I was on the edge of a breakdown. I grip the arms of the chair and respond to Harry. "Listen, alright, why would I not be telling you the full story? Of course that's all I bloody remember! It's not like I had an out-of-body experience and I saw them leave through the back door.”

"I'm sorry Y/N, it's just routine." Harry keeps a straight face on.  "We have a few suspicions we're trying to corroborate by interviewing everyone involved. I promise I’m just being thorough-"

"Yeah yeah alright, you sound like you're reading from a bloody manual," I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh into the silence. When Harry doesn't say anything, I look up to see him watching me with an amused expression.

"What?" I ask, annoyed.

"It’s been a while...I forgot how charming you can be.”

“What can I say, you bring it out in me.”

"Very interesting outfit by the way," he takes my snark in stride, gesturing to my outfit with his pen instead. I cross my arms in front of me. He's still got the stupid expression on his face, it looks unchanged from the one he used to give me once upon a time. When he found something I did funny but in a loveable way; the feelings that surface are almost unbearable.

"Don’t judge my outfit, I had to rush to work for our client meet-oh shit." I pull out my phone and check my email but there's nothing from the client. Probably avoiding the shit show. I notice the time, with all the time I’d wasted today I may as well not have taken the day off at all.

"So you weren't meant to be at work today except for this client? Bad timing isn’t it." Harry reads to himself from his notes. I stare at him, wishing I could burn a hole into his skull to see if he really had a brain in there.

"I've told you this five times before, Harry. You're literally reading from your notes. If you're just going to ask the same questions over and over I’m sure you can find the answers in there and I can go home."

"Right but something doesn't add up, I just want to make sure I have all the details."

"Do I have to be here to watch you do your mental maths?" I wasn't very nice when anxiety and frustration became my base emotions. But Harry knew that.

He looks at me, eyebrows raised at my snark. "I'm sure that you want to get to the bottom of this just as much as I do-"

"But that's not my job," I remind him. "That's yours. I've done mine, and I'd really just like to go home." My voice cracks, and I feel a rush of embarrassment.

"How about I drop you off home? I can walk through the day with you once more during the drive?”

He looks at me expectantly, “I’d rather stab myself in the eye.”

"Best not to with the concussion,” Harry pushes my buttons, and I’m kind of surprised. The last time we saw each other he’d been accommodating to my anger but he was pushing back today. Like he used to when we were together when he riled me up simply because he found it amusing.

When I scowl though, he gets serious. “Y/N, just let me give you a ride home and we can talk more.”

I didn’t want to stand around arguing, I was tired, so I just agree. He smiles, his dimples making a pretty appearance. Damn him.

H POV:

I’m surprised she agrees to ride home with me. I knew Y/N had a stubborn streak and giving in to my offer was new. She’d made it clear last time we saw each other that she wanted nothing to do with me. I was also curious to know where she lived, I’d only been to her office once since we’d split. And that was usually to drop off papers.

She actually answers my questions on the drive, albeit they’re one word answers, but she gives me space to talk out some theories I had. But she also disagrees with most of them, pointing out their flaws. The comfortable back-and-forth between us is bittersweet. This was why we were married once upon a time. We worked well together; after all, we’d been friends for years before dating the other. It was the friendship I missed the most when I thought about us.

When we drive up to her address, it’s a townhome in a decent part of the city. Her promotion clearly had its perks.

I leap out of the car to open her door before she could but she beats me to it, scowling at me as she realises what I was trying to do.

“So you live here?” I try to ease into a conversation, get her to open up, ask her how she was doing. But she looks at me like I’d asked a stupid question, waving her keys.

“You’re kind of dense for a detective,” she says when I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t look so shocked.”

“Forget I asked,” getting personal was useless.

“Done.” She always manages to get the last word. She climbs her steps but I follow her up. She eyes me as she finds the correct one on her key ring. “What?”

“I just-have you got anyone living with you?”

“What’s that got to do with the case?” She asks, her defenses going up.

“You’re concussed, it’s best you have someone with you for the next 24 hours like the med-”

“I’ll be fine Harry,” her sharp edges soften but still, she only opens her door wide enough to step through. I can barely see anything behind her except for a hall.

“You shouldn’t be alone,” I try again.

“Nice of you to care,” the way she says it implies a deeper meaning, one that borders on a dangerous topic.

“I’m serious Y/N, this--a concussion’s no joke. And it was traumatic what you went through you really shouldn’t-”

“I’ve been on my own for a while now, I’ll be okay.” There she goes having the last word again. I raise my hands and back off.

“If you say so. I’ll...head back to the station but if you need anything, well, you know how to reach me.”

She nods, closing the door softly behind her. I sigh, it was a whirlwind last few hours but I was just grateful Y/N was going to be okay. I know she hated me, but I still cared about her. It was hard not to. We’d known each other for over a decade, and even though I hurt her in our past, and she might not agree with me, I cared. Caring about her didn’t have an on/off switch. I only wanted her to be okay. Maybe even happy.

Y POV:

I go through the motions for the rest of the afternoon, mostly I sit zoned out in front of the window while the morning plays like a loop in my head. Something about having your life hang in the balance of a stranger’s pointer finger made it feel so fragile. It unraveled me, and I can’t focus on anything. I just keep feeling the gun on my back, and smashing against the side of my head.

I keep my head iced, and avoid screens except to send out a couple emails and to call my sister after 8 voice messages that progresses from panic after hearing the news to annoyance as I don’t respond. When she finds out Harry’s on the case she swears.

“That bastard,” I can see her face in my mind, the one where she pursues her lips like mum used to. “You should report him, conflict of interest right? It’s traumatic enough what you’ve been through, you poor thing. I was just talking to Lewis and he said I should come down to stay with you this weekend-”

“That’s really alright,” I nip the idea in the bud. I loved my sister dearly but she was an overly anxious person and I don’t think that would be helpful for me right now. “It’s just a mild concussion, the medic said I should be cleared after 24 hours so it would only be a hassle for you to come down here.”

“Alright,” she says grudgingly. “But you say the word and I’m on the first train out. And I’ll give that ex of yours an earful if he’s anywhere near you again.”

I smile at my sister’s overprotective nature, “I appreciate the offer, but I think I can manage that fine on my own.”

“That you can,” she laughs.

But when I put down the phone, the silence creeps in again. And normally I loved the quiet but like a broken record player, the voices and sounds from this morning continue to play in a loop in the silence.

I give up after 7 and start preparing for bed. But a call interrupts my nightly routine.

“Y/N,” it’s Harry. “It’s me, Harry.”

“I do have call display,” I say dryly.

“Right, I...wasn’t expecting you to pick up.”

“Is this about the case?” I was hoping he was calling to say the bastards were caught.

“Oh...not exactly. I was wondering if you’ve fed yourself. I’m in your area for work, it’s my last call. I thought I could bring you some takeout or...?”

“I was about to get ready for bed.” I reply.

“Oh. That’s early? Have you had dinner?”

I think about the pathetic cheese toast I’d managed to make. My stomach growls thinking about food, I didn’t seem to have an appetite until he’s said something. “Fine, only if you’re in my area.”

Surely, not even 10 minutes go by and by doorbell rings. Harry stands outside with a takeout bag, his pressed shirt from this morning is more rumpled with a few buttons undone.

“I parked on the street--is that alright?”

“I guess? You’re just here to drop this off.” I shrug.

“Actually I uh, I thought I’d keep you some company.”

“I...” I don’t know if I should be offended. “I don’t need company. I only agreed to the takeout.”

“I’m part of the package,” he hides the bag behind him, a smug smile on his face. I roll my eyes, it was too late to do this with him.

So I leave the door open and head inside, tightening my robe around me. Harry was part of my past and having him here, in the place I’d built myself back again, feels wrong. This was where I’d shed the identity of being a divorcee before 30, and here he was. When I turn to see why he was so quiet, I find him scanning my gallery wall and smiling at the pictures.

“Hey, I’m on here,” he points to a small group picture.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I walk back to him to get the food. “I just looked good there.”

It was a shot from my sister’s wedding, Harry and I with the newlyweds. It was taken a few weeks before we’d made us official actually--moving from friends to lovers was maybe one of the bigger mistake I’d made in life. Another was agreeing to marry him.

“I look pretty good too,” he leans in closer. I ignore him and take the cartons of Chinese out and grab cutlery. He joins me, I hand him a beer and take a sparkling water for myself. “How’ve you been feeling?”

“Okay,” I shrug. “Just sorting through it all. Trying to avoid screens, all that.”

“That’s good,” he steals a chicken from the container I’m dumping into my plate. I eye him but he just grins, chewed food between his cheeks. I let it slide. “So you’re not supposed to sleep with a concussion or something?”

I sigh, “That’s not true, I only have a mild concussion!”

“Well I’m not a bloody doctor!”

“Thank god for that.”

“You’ll never stop doing that will you?” He rubs his chopsticks together and attempts to eat with him. “Always so snarky.”

“I can’t help it,” I continue to watch him fail with his chopsticks and pick up a fork. “It sustains me.”

“You should try being nice for once.”

“Tried it once, didn’t work out well for me. So...here I am.”

I was being passive, I knew that. He knew that with the way he eyes me over his food. He keeps quiet though, knowing there was nothing he could say in this moment to make a difference. We eat in silence until he receives a call and he leaves to take it. I clean up so by the time he gets back I’ve just loaded the dishwasher.

“I know the sleep thing’s not true for you,” Harry says as he approaches. “But I think I should stay here overnight. Just to make sure you’re-”

“No,” I cross my arms. “There’s no reason for you to stay the night Harry. I don’t need you here.”

“It’s for your peace of mind-”

“It’s for your peace of mind Harry. And frankly, I don’t care about your peace of mind. I don’t want you sleeping over, I’m not comfortable with that.”

“Y/N, c’mon! It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we didn’t sleep in the same bed for years--I’ll be sleeping on the couch! You’re not in your best shape and it’s just for a night, it’ll be like I’m not even here.”

“Don’t you have a girlfriend or something to go home to?” I ask. He shifts his gaze and shakes his head.

“Nope, my bachelor pad just me. I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”

I dry my hands and watch him, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I knew him well enough to recognise the wide stance, shoulders back, and jut of his chin. He wasn’t backing down.

“I don’t want to hear you, Not even a peep. I’ll make up the couch but this is the one and only time you’re wearing me down, you’re lucky I’m not in the mood to argue-”

“Promise,” he holds his hand up to his chest, a grin on his face knowing he won.

I leave him with a comfortable setup and head up to my own room. There was a spare upstairs but I don’t think I could handle him sleeping next door to me. It was weird how in just one day I’d seen more of him than I had in the last couple years and now he was sleeping in my living room like we were okay. Not like he wasn’t the man who’d broken my trust, and my heart.

As I lay awake in bed, unable to sleep as the day replays in my head, another set of memories infiltrates my mind and keeps me from sleeping. The story of Harry and I, the naive beginning, eventful middle, and heartbreaking end. My mind repeats its history and I don’t fall asleep for hours. When sleep finally comes, my dreams are haunted by the same memories.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #writingsfromhome #au #detective!harry #dci!harry #harry styles series #this is quite diff from what I usually write #hence leaving it for months #but we just started a stricter lockdown #so why the heck not #amirite #😔 #tw: ptsd #also don't forget acab but also #enjoy detective H #🤪

[skgway]

1832 Nov., Mon. 12

9 1/4

12 1/2

Pickles came at 9 1/4 which roused me up – To see him after breakfast at Lower place or he to call here again in the evening – Letter 3 pages and ends from M– [Mariana] (Lawton) vide line 27 page 285. Inquiries about Miss W[alker]. Smokes what is going on. Writes with implied affection, true and great as that of former days. Is unhappy and carless off living long, and has made her will and …… the tears started to my eyes and all my own affection burst upon me again –

Breakfast at 10 40/.. with my aunt – George Robinson came almost immediately for near an hour – Settled with him for stone leading for James Smith’s road etc. – He proposed some means of getting rid of Lower Brea lane footpath – To see about another day –

Breakfast at 11 40/.. – Told my aunt of M– [Mariana]’s letter – Came to my room at 12 20/.. – Fire in my room and from 12 25/.. to note 2 pages of 1/2 sheet from Miss Walker at 1 10/.. in consequence of which off in 1/4 hour to Lidgate and there in 25 minutes –

Home again in 1/2 hour at 5 20/.. – At my desk in about 10 minutes – Wrote the last 1/4 of page 3, and the ends and under the seal and finished my letter to Breadalbane MacLean – Began yesterday – Thanks for her letter and the willows (sent off Monday 29th instant from Coll house) 

"which I am very anxiously expecting, not only for their own sake, but because they are associated with many remembrances that I value most highly" –

Should have written some days ago, but waited in the hope of announcing the arrival of the cuttings – Shall write by tonight’s post to Glasgow to inquire about them – Bavardage amical – Wonder how her people did without her so long (5 weeks away) 

"Your life is one continued benefit to them; and a five week’s arrear of such services is hardly to be made up" –

Sorry her father is so dead to the world and that Sir Hector’s health is so failing – Mention the death of old Lochiel on the 19th September – Only known to Lady S– [Stuart] on the 6th ultimo and not known to Vere on the 24th ultimo the date of her last letter to me (from Turin) – Hope 

"if Lochiel is obliged to come over immediately surely V– [Vere] will remain with her friends till he can return for her – I should quite dread her being hurried across the alps at this season of the year …. You would all be pleased at dear Vere’s having got her rank – Surely, it has some value in a world of vanities like this" –

Civil congratulations on  Mrs. Maclean’s being again about to increase her family and sorrow at Mrs. Hunter’s having lost her youngest daughter – The loss of my steward and my aunt’s suffering health have kept me so long here or I should have been on the continent again before this – But my aunt so very much recovered, no longer uneasy about her – She herself spirits me up to get off, and I hope to leave here about the end of January but all things here so uncertain never think much of plans very long beforehand – Kind regards to all I know "and believe me always very truly yours A Lister" –

Had written the following 2 1/4 pages to M– [Mariana] just before being off to Lidgate –

"Shibden Hall – Monday 12 November 1832 

Mary! I have been late this morning, and have done nothing but see and speak to Marian, and breakfast, since reading your letter – It would be difficult to describe the effect it has upon me – It is many months since I have basked beneath the beam of happiness, and without courage to think of the past, or hope to calculate the future, I am attempting to answer your letter –

Your account of yourself unnerves me – I grieve over your leaving Lawton, and tho’ I could, and would, see good in your going to Leamington, if you would let me, I am now uneasy at the thought, and little out of sorts than you can be – The only thing I rest upon, is the manner in which you mention coming here for a few days –

It makes me fancy, nay almost hope, my scheme is not quite impossible – You would have been agreeably surprised, and satisfied to hear what Marian said about it – Say I am not well (God knows I am sick enough at heart) or, which is true, that I am in great perplexity, or that my aunt is poorly (tho’ she is very much better, and probably in no danger) or say what you please, but lose no time in coming to me for at least a few days –

I really do want to see you – I will take the carriage and meet you at Manchester – Do pray make an exertion and get off – At any rate, answer my letter by the second post after you receive it, and tell me if you cannot come off immediately – Nothing like the spur of the moment –

You will get my letter tomorrow afternoon – and, if your answer is off on Wednesday morning, at night on that day I may hear whether I may be off for you on Thursday or Friday morning at seven, or not – Bring merely a few things and yourself – I will take care of you from and to Manchester –

You will see from my manner of writing, that I am not likely to relax my interest while it is yet necessary to your happiness – Your pages of Saturday make me fancy, I may have been mistaken, and that, in the bitterness of disappointment and regret, I may have miscalculated what it was my interest and desire to estimate most correctly 

This here written after dinner –

It is needless to write more – I shall anxiously and impatiently wait your answer – I would give worlds to hear of your being in better health and spirits – I had a letter from Eugénie last night – I consider her engaged; and she is to wait my orders till January –

I cannot enter upon the subject of my friend, as my aunt and sister laugh and call her – I am too much thinking of the interests of other days – Come if you can – You might be almost ride over to Manchester –

But cheer up, my dearest Mary – Time was when I had power to charm you into pleasure-stirring thought, and almost into happiness – I am what I was – And yet this power is gone, – Parted like Aynt never to return? 

God bless you! The heart knoweth its own bitterness – ’Tis harder than you think to break the spell of twenty years – Entirely and very especially yours AL –

Sent off at 8 by John my letter to Miss Maclean of Coll, Coll house Aros North Britain and my letter to Mrs. Lawton Lawton Hall, Lawton, Cheshire and my letter to the “Reverend T. Ainsowrth, at Miss Bentley’s, 1 crescent, Salford, Manchester”

George Robinson then came and staid till 9 – Said Ramsden, now the constable of H–x [Halifax], bought the last ground sold adjoining my Northgate land at 11/6 [shillings/pence] a yard – and Stancliffe bought his ground fronting into Broad street the street given at 12 /. [shillings] or 12/6 [shillings/pence] a yard but then it was cleared, or sunk down ready for building –

Had seen Bates of Washer Lane who said that I might build a good corn mill at Mytholm with saw and goit and wheel and machinery for £1500 and might have 7 to 7 1/2 percent for my money tho’ people in general did not look for much for their money now – 

Some man (Brook?) of Brighouse is letting a mill had 10 percent on his money for the 1st ten years, and then 5 percent rent afterwards – The Embargo on Dutch vessels has already made a great difference – Has stopt the German trade –

Went into the other room for 1/2 hour till 9 1/2 – π [Mariana] thought I might have gone from York to Langton 

"Is it Miss Walker of Crow Nest with whom you seem so suddenly to have formed an alliance? You mention her twice as "my friend" and as you were not wont to bestow this title lightly I am puzzled to unders[t]and, not having ever heard you mention her name,  how Miss W[alker] has so quickly succeeded in adding herself to the list so designated.

You say, "I shall be glad to hear your friend was etc. etc." I am glad to hear anything that gives you pleasure, and so far shall be pleased to hear all possible good of Miss Walker, but as I don't remember ever having seen her. 

She must be satisfied with secondhand interest for I cannot fancy her at all one of those who could herself awaken it. So far as her better health can contribute to your comfort, I rejoice that it is likely to improve and hope by this time she has somewhat recovered the loss of her particular friend" –

You say ‘I always tell you how much better Mr. Lawton is,’ because you always ask me. In bodily health he is certainly better than I have known him for years, but in mind and temper he is infinitely worse. As he improves I fall off, and I have been weak enough to fret and discomfort myself about this Leamington plan until I have almost made myself ill –

M– [Mariana] in very bad spirits about going to Leamington – "and if I could get to you, I should come for consolation" – Should be glad to spend a few days with me but does not know how it can be managed –

Watson more philosophical than π [Mariana], thinks she shall get all her mistresses things off to a place of safety   

"Made my will the other day, and told Watson where to find it – I do not fancy, my dearest Fred, that my health or happiness will claim your attention 20 years longer, so dont relax your interest while it is yet necessary to my happiness. I live in so much discomfort that it cannot be expected that I should covet living forever”

Concludes with 

God bless you Fred. Whatever I have said or may say, trust me, there is not much warmer affection bestowed upon you than that which flows from the heart of yours, very entirely, Mariana –

Poor π [Mariana].

Vide line 4 of today –  The following is Miss W[alker]s note

I have received a letter, which you shall see, but we must meet on different terms. Oh that I had taken you at your word last Monday, and as you said finished the matter on that day.  I should then have spared you this additional bitterness. 

I did hope when my word was once given to you that I should have felt at rest and satisfied, but in reflecting on all you have said and trying to turn it to my own advantage   I cannot satisfy my conscience, and with such sufferings as I have endured since Wednesday, I feel I could not make you happy. That I should only bring misery upon you,   for misery I am sure it would be to you to see me in the state I have been in for several days.

It was this sort of wretchedness that was expressed in my note on Friday. It was these miserable feelings that prompted my request

(that is I suppose for me not to send to York for the ring)

For your own sake, fly whilst it is yet in your power, 

(I smile as I copy this sentence)  

and believe that I will never intrude myself in any way upon you (unless it is your wish) whenever you revisit the neighbourhood. 

Nov[embe]r 12 eighteen hundred and 32 writton [written] on the outside of this half sheet but under cover,

Read this alone

–

Off I set. Found her twenty minutes ago returned from Cliff hill and lying on the bed in tears. Kissed and soothed her till in a few minutes she went down to dinner. I remained in her room a little while read overMr. Ainsworth’s letter pathetic appeal to her feelings, making sure that she must be engaged and hoping that her choice would do all he, Mr. A[insworth], had hoped to have done.

Begging her to take the scrapbook as a friend and to condescend  to write in answer to say if he might send the book and a narrative of himself. And if this business should be the death of him, he would only pray for blessings on her. But much bad tact and the whole ill done, tho better than I expected. 

I went down before dinner was over. Agreeablized and amused both Miss Parkhill and Miss W[alker]. Then pretending business letters for Miss W[alker] to answer, Miss P[arkhill] left us, and I talked the poor girl into admiration of my conduct and into thorough approbation of my writing and sending (I wrote there and shewed it to her) the following to Mr. Ainsworth,

Lightcliffe Mon[day] 12 November eighteen hundred and 32. 

Sir, I am commissioned by Miss Walker to acknowledge immediately the receipt of your letter of Saturday and to inform you that she has given me for the future, at least for some time to come, the surveillance of all her letters and parcels.

I am Sir your obedient servant, Anne Lister

Before writing I had asked if it was her heart that had changed towards Mr. A[insworth]. No, it was all her conscience. She owned she was not in a fit state to judge fairly and tho she had felt great affection for him, yet she did not know how it was, now all seemed dead. And if she felt at liberty, she did not know or think he was quite the man she should choose, in spite of the two great things, his being a clergyman and liking to live at Cliff hill. 

‘Well, but what would you have done had I not been here?’ She said she would certainly have exone[ra]ted herself now. Would have gone to her aunt Ploughs in London and then brought down the Chapmans with her. She would not have been alone and would have kept out of the way and done the best she could.

This, said I, is enough. In answer to her note said I did not think her at liberty to marry anyone without my consent, in which she agreed, and that Wednesday had given me a power over her which I was determined to use in her service. She would be better by and by and more able to judge for herself, and then she might try again, but now I should not let her.

She might safely trust to my honour, but I pledged myself to nothing. She brightened up and owned how much better she was. I even brought away, with her full consent, and A[insworth]’s letter, and the book of prayers he gave her with a long rigmarole written on one of the flyleaves promising to get her another of the same from London, and on asking for my dirty night things to bring back she said no till I promised to send clean ones, and we parted very good friends. 

She agreeing with me that she had reason to be thankful for the great event of Wednesday – Who could have anticipated such a result as the consequence of her note?  She likes me. But my affections are not so fearfully and I irretrievably hers as she thinks, and I shall manage well enough, tho I really will do her all the good I can –

Writing the above till 11 – Came to my room at 11 20/.. and then wrote note to Mrs. Holroyde

“Mr. T. Holroyde Esquire Solicitor Halifax” in answer respecting the land at Northgate – Not in any way anxious to sell, but would sell lot A as marked in the plan if his client would give my price – But before naming any terms I wished to know what sort of buildings it was proposed to erect –

Wrote to desire Booth to get me Gilpins practical hints on Landscape gardening and theform of family prayers published by Hatchard and Son Piccadilly London 8 edition 1828. 12mo. [duodecimo] pages 159 and 2 bottles of Albin and Chapman’s chemical writing ink – 

Did my clothes for the wash. Very fine November day – Fahrenheit 49º now at 11 40/.. – Sent off my note written last night to Mr. Holroyde –

[in margin] vide line 12 page 286

nothing like the spur of the moment

very fine November day

#anne lister #ann walker #shibden hall 1832 #mr. ainsworth #anne lister code breaker

[thebiasrekkers]

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Additional Warnings: Video footage of torture, graphic physical violence, captured/kidnapping

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 2,778

Tag List: @prisczero​, @pinkpjmin​, @btsaudge​, @flowerwrites06​, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali​, @shrimpmsg​​,

AN: It’s about to get dark, dark, and even darker still. I just want to remind everyone that I love you all for coming on this journey with me. Thank you for loving this story and remember that you are loved.

Chapter 49: Danger

“You’re in danger right now, why are you testing me? Why are you testing me? Stop confusing me.“

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

Three Days Later Seoul – Hannam; Yongsan District South Korea

Hoseok took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leaned back in the plush leather chair. Soft music played from the stereo in the corner of the room; a semi-vain attempt at quieting his thoughts. They were pervasive, loud, and extremely unwelcome these days. Namjoon insisted he take the day off, reassuring Hoseok that both he and Yoongi could handle things while he was away from the office. He wasn’t one to be fussed over, but even he had to admit that the mounting stress from the last few months was finally beginning to take a toll on him.

It was quiet. Too quiet. This disturbed him on various levels in ways that he couldn’t possibly describe. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried. He had. Hoseok tried time and again to empty his feelings at Seokjin and Namjoon’s feet. But it always fell short; something felt incomplete about his trepidation.

There shouldn’t have been a reason, however. Hoseok knew this. He’d made his stance very clear with Changkyun the last time they crossed paths with one another. He would not be part of the little games he was attempting to play, and he wouldn’t be coerced into walking back into darkness. None of them would.

Too much was at stake now. They were all slowly building something with their own hands; something that was of some semblance of clean. Happiness fluttered around his brothers like butterflies and he enjoyed that they were able to indulge in the little things in life for a change; things they often took for granted when they were living in the countryside.

Anastasia was pregnant, her belly swollen with the life that she was nurturing. Seokjin babied and pampered her and the others were getting used to the idea that they were all going to be uncles. When the topic of marriage was brought up, Seokjin merely smiled. He said nothing else on the matter and they didn’t push. It was clear that he would do things at his own pace.

Raelyn, too, was pregnant. Truth be told, it stung Hoseok in a way that he wouldn’t dare admit aloud. Taehyung loved her and it was clear she cared for him as well. Who was he to get in the way of that happiness, regardless of his own lingering attachments? It wasn’t fair. He wouldn’t be unfair. She was only a month behind Anastasia and Taehyung made a point to notify everyone that Raelyn was forever spoken for. No one mentioned marriage at all since Taehyung had plans of his own.

Jungkook and Eden were now living together. He remembered the look on his youngest brother’s face when he closed on the house, notifying the others that he would be moving out of their home in UN Village. The others protested at first. They didn’t think it was necessary for Jungkook to move out when Eden could have easily moved into their home instead. They had plenty of room and privacy. But after a conversation Hoseok had with Jimin and Jungkook both, he realized that it was the better option. He didn’t want to pour salt into any wounds. Especially not Yoongi’s.

It came as a surprise, at first, when he’d heard about Yoongi’s relationship with Eden prior. None of the others poked or investigated their brother, believing that he was going off to be with someone he cared about after being dragged through the dirt in the underground. While he knew that Yoongi’s loyalty was absolute and he cared deeply for his brothers, sometimes even The Lightning Claw yearned for an escape from the shadows that clung to their ankles persistently.

As he leaned back in the chair, he pressed his forearm against his temple while his other hand rested along his stomach. Dark eyes idly stared at the ceiling, looking at nothing in particular. His heart beat softly against his chest and he drummed his fingers along in time with the sound. He hummed a tune to himself, closing his eyes as he took a moment to think about everything they’d gone through to reach this point. It was a long journey – seemingly endless. Ten years flashed by so quickly that Hoseok often questioned if it was a dream they were all sharing; one where they hadn’t been able to wake up from yet.

So much fighting, stealing, and climbing over horrifyingly large mountains. Their knuckles burned white and their fingernails bled from how hard they were holding on to both themselves and their goals. Reaching the peak of the mountain, gazing over the horizon – over their kingdom – Hoseok could claim that it was something they could look back on with a mild feeling of fondness.

He couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different had they all decided to remain in their hometown.

Letting his arm fall against the armrest of the chair, he scoffed and shook his head. What’s the point of worrying about that now?

They all decided things together. They agreed to uproot themselves and walked hand-in-hand into the pits of Hell. Hadn’t everything they’d accomplished to this point, means be damned, been the result they wanted? It was all so they could have a better life at the cost of their innocence.

Im Changkyun had been right about one thing. Sacrifices had to be made. They had to be willing to make them.

The soft chime of the doorbell rang throughout the house. Hoseok sat up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Looking at the video phone, he picked it up as the person near the front gate lifted his face toward the camera. The young man wore a uniform, presumably a delivery service. He had a small package in his arms. He waved to the camera and Hoseok felt his brows furrow. He wasn’t expecting a delivery.

“Can I help you?”

“Uh, yes Sir? I have a delivery for Jung Hoseok?”

“Who’s it from?”

“There’s no return address, Sir.”

He sighed. “Just leave it.”

“It’s requiring that someone sign for it, Sir.”

Something uncomfortable settled in the pit of Hoseok’s gut. He could have just told the delivery boy to go away and have the package returned to the shipping company. It wasn’t like he’d be punished for it and Hoseok was certain he hadn’t ordered a parcel. If anything, this was a potential headache in the making and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

“Uh, Sir? Are you there?”

Hoseok pressed two fingers to his forehead and groaned. “Fine, I’ll be right out. Stay there.”

Rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, he exited his office and headed toward the front door. Sliding into a pair of sneakers, he grabbed his wallet and slid it into the back pocket of his slacks. The security lock beeped behind him as the door closed and he slowly trudged down the winding path of the front garden toward the front gate. He entered the passcode and pulled the gate open slowly, his back rigid as he prepared to brace himself for anything that might have attempted to catch him off guard.

The young man smiled, holding out the small parcel toward Hoseok. He took it, cradling it under one arm, while he signed the tablet with the stylus. The delivery man checked his signature, bowed, and bid him a wonderful rest of his afternoon. Hoseok merely nodded, closing the gate and began heading back toward the house when the security lock beeped again.

Mindlessly inputting the passcode, he entered the house while examining the package. It was a simple white box with red and blue accents around it – presumably the logo and color scheme of the shipping company. It was no longer than a standard envelope and as thick as two decks of cards. His name was on the front but like the delivery man stated, there was no return address.

For the sake of argument, Hoseok shook the box and heard the soft rattling sound of something hitting the inside along all four corners. Whatever was inside was small and light. He tossed the box up and down, confirming much of the weight was from what was concealed in the box. Opening the flaps from one end, he held the box at an angle and a small USB thumb drive fell into his palm. There was nothing about it that stood out; just a simple red and black thumb drive with the manufacturer’s logo on it. He shook the box again but nothing else was inside.

Tossing the box into the nearby waste bin, Hoseok entered his office and closed the door behind him. His legs moved toward his desk and he flopped into his chair. Pulling up a virus scanner on his computer, he made sure it was ready and waiting before sliding the thumb drive into one of the USB ports. Two minutes went by and the virus scanner confirmed there was nothing malicious on the drive, deeming it safe to open.

Clicking on the icon for the drive, there was a folder with his name on it. He opened it and saw three files inside: two video clips and a text document. There was nothing urgent on the text file’s label. It merely read For Hoseok. The video clips, however, had two different dates on them: three days ago and today, followed by the numbers 1 and 2.

He clicked on the first video.

The picture was dark, showing that whatever room the video was being filmed in had poor lighting. He could make out a couple of silhouettes, but there weren’t any distinctive features that could help him discern who the figures belonged to. About ten seconds into the video, a light clicked on – illuminating one of the people in the video.

It didn’t take him long to recognize who it was and the moment he did, Hoseok thought his guts had fallen out of his body.

In the video, there was a woman sitting in a chair. She was tied up with what looked like a combination of regular ropes and large chains. Her mouth was gagged with a bright red cloth and her head hung forward, the light over her head shadowing the rest of her face. The intensity of the light hanging over her made it only slightly difficult to discern her skin color, but her dark curls that fell around her neck and across her shoulders was unmistakable. Something dangled from her neck – he could only assume it was a necklace of some kind.

But he still couldn’t see her face.

“No,” he whispered while shaking his head. He could feel a cold sweat forming on his brow. “There’s no way that’s…”

All the moisture left his mouth in mid-denial. A masked man grabbed a handful of the woman’s curls, yanking her head back. A muffled yell of outrage pushed from her chest, lost against the bright red fabric pressed over her mouth. Her face was fully illuminated in the light and even Hoseok could no longer deny who was sitting in that chair.

It was Eden.

The video was only ninety seconds long and it abruptly ended with a hand holding up two fingers in front of the camera lens. The person in the video was telling him to click on the second video file.

He clicked on the other video file labeled with today’s date.

It was the same nondescript room and Eden was still sitting in the chair. A trail of blood seeped from her temple and her shirt was torn open from the neck to her stomach, exposing her bra and skin. The necklace continued to hang from her neck and he could see there was a ring looped through the chain. It appeared that her shoulder was injured, the denim jacket stained a darker shade of blue on just her right shoulder. A large cut decorated her thigh and he could see where the blood blossomed across her jeans – staining her entire upper leg red.

Eden looked like she was fading in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, water was splashed over her face and chest, jolting her awake and it appeared that she was attempting to focus on her current predicament. When it seemed like the answer was dawning on her features, Eden raged through the bandana over her mouth, her body rocking back and forth viciously to break free from her restraints. One of the men backhanded her hard and she went limp, her head rolling forward.

Hoseok saw the blood leaking from beneath the gag.

The video ended.

Horror and fury tore through Hoseok’s entire body, threatening to rip him asunder. His shoulders vibrated from his anger and his vision blurred from the onset of furious tears. Getting his hands to steady over the mouse was a task in and of itself. When he managed to finally tether it down to move it, he clicked on the text file with his name on it.

It felt like the ground opened beneath him and swallowed him whole.

Hoseok Hyung,

I have to say, I’m impressed. Truly. I can’t find a single weak point in your defenses. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise, should it? You’ve always been so careful; always fully aware of your surroundings. The others are the same; a habit they’ve picked up from you, perhaps?

It’s a shame that same skill wasn’t embroiled in your women.

Not that it’s their fault. When you believe that you’re safe, what reason do you need to keep your guard up? Blissful ignorance does that to a person. Believing you’ve won makes you sloppy.

Your brothers have become sloppy, Hyung.

As interesting as it would have been to go after the women carrying your brothers’ children, I’m not a monster. Besides, Eden is the strongest of them and breaking her will only prove my point further.

That you’ve all grown weak in the light.

Hyung, this is my final offer. Stop letting the light blind you. Stop letting those weak dreams and ambitions dictate the rest of your lives. You can’t protect the things you love when you don’t have the power to stop anyone who would try to take it from you. You had that power and you threw it away.

And for what?

For love? Success? So you can lay in your graves, close your eyes, and think you’ll greet the Reaper with a nice clean conscience? Don’t be ridiculous.

Let’s see how long it takes you to find her. You already know asking for the police won’t do you any good. We have the Chief in our back pocket; we have for years.

By the time you read this, the boys and I will be out of the country on a business trip. Tracking us down will just be a waste of time. Both yours and hers. Every minute counts and the longer you take to find her, the more she’s going to suffer because of your inability to act.

The clock is ticking, Hyung.

And the game is still on.

Good luck.

Im Changkyun

For a moment, all Hoseok could do was stare at the words on the screen. He couldn’t breathe. He could barely think.

Then he saw red.

Hoseok jumped from his chair, grabbed the monitor, and hurled it across the room. The sound that ripped through him was beyond anything a human being should have been capable of making. Glass shattered as it crashed into the wall, breaking into numerous pieces. He picked up the keyboard and began to smash it across his desk, breaking the glass top as the keys popped off and scattered across the floor. Even when the keyboard was split in half, he continued to pummel his desk – creating more spider vein cracks along the surface.

And then he blacked out.

Hoseok didn’t know how long he was out. What brought him out of the darkness was the sound of Namjoon’s voice, as well as his body moving back and forth. Slowly, Hoseok’s eyes opened and he saw his friend looking down at him with extreme concern.

“Hoseok-ah!” Again, Namjoon shook him. “Are you alright? Hey, come on!”

His vision blurred in and out of focus, his head spinning, and he reached out blindly to grab onto Namjoon’s shoulder. “N-Namjoon-ah,” he croaked, realizing how raw his voice sounded, “the boys. C-Call the boys.”

Namjoon frowned, not sure what he was trying to tell him. Hoseok growled in frustration.

“GET EVERYONE HOME RIGHT NOW, GODDAMMIT!”

#networkbangtan #hyunglinenetwork #thekpopnetwork #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fanfics #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfics #bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts crime au #bts crime!au #bts mafia!au #bts angst #bts x angst #bts slowburn #bts x slowburn #bts romance #bts x romance #thebiasrekkers #bts thebiasrekkers #make it right bts #bts make it right

[awhilesince]

Wednesday, 20 June 1832

9 3/4

12 35/..

rain in the night – fine morning Fahrenheit 66° at 10 – down to breakfast at 11 35/.. – very kind letter from Mrs Henry Stephen Belcombe, York, to announce her return from Harrogate and say she hoped to see me for a little while on my return – odd sort of civil letter from Mr Parker my attorney at H–x (Halifax) – could not imagine what he was driving at by his apologizing for the liberty taken

‘in my present application, which is on behalf of a young friend, Mr Edwards Dyson, the youngest son of Mrs Dyson of Willow field – the gentleman, a genteel youth between 17 and 18, who at present is, and for some time past has been with a private tutor near Cheltenham, is wishful to go upon the continent for 2 or 3 months this summer, and his mother is naturally anxious that he should accompany a respectable and intelligent party, now being very well aware of your experience and judgment in such matters, it has occurred to me that perhaps you might know of some small party taking a continental trip, to whom my young friend might introduced with safety and advantage – could you at all assist us in this matter it would indeed confer the greatest obligation – Perhaps it is unnecessary to remark that expense would be quite a secondary consideration – I have the honour to remain, Madam, with great consideration your faithful servant Robert Parker’!!!

to which I have justly written in answer 

‘Langton hall – wednesday 20 June 1832. Sir – nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be able to be of any use to you in any way; and I should also be exceedingly glad to have it in my power to be of any sort of service to Mrs Dyson of Willow field; but, I regret to say, in the present instance, I know of no means whatever by which I can help you at all – one circumstance or other seems to have caused so great a stagnation among continental Travelling parties, that I hear of nothing but indefinite delays or schemes given up – with every possible wish for your success, I am, Sir, your obliged A Lister’ – 

then till about 3 wrote 3 pages and ends to M– (Mariana) 10 Days since I wrote wondering I have not heard from her, hope it is not on account of illness – have waited to the last in the hope of hearing from her ‘to see whether it was possible ‘to arrange our meeting again and have just determined to leave here on Monday neat – as this was not fixed till last night, I could not name it to you before’ – mention having heard this morning from Mrs Henry Belcombe – should have been glad to spend a little while with her on my return but had just written to her to say that tho’ I was not so alarmed as Mrs N– (Norcliffe) at cholera I knew my aunt would be so alarmed at my staying now in York, that I really dared not sleep there and durst only hope to see my friends for an hour or 2 en passant – said I had heard how their (the Lawtons’) plans were changed – York and even Harrogate given up – but M– (Mariana) still hoped to be in  York after their return from London – hoped to be at Shibden by 8 or 9 on Monday evening – feared the cholera had reached Bradford – broken out in London – Mrs Henry Robinson just brought to bed of a little girl – hope to find a letter from M– (Mariana) at Shibden – 

‘God bless you my dearest Mary! I shall hardly feel satisfied till I have heard that you are well – Believe me always very entirely and especially yours AL (Anne Lister)’ –

I had some difficulty to spin it out but it is well enough expressed my anxiety to hear that William Lawton was not likely to disappoint her in anything – 

‘I find your little charge (little Mariana) is arrived – I shall be glad to see her improved, as I trust she is, in every respect, and grown too –’

wrote all the above of today till 3 3/4 – dressed – wrote 2 pages to my aunt– and then Dinner at 4 40/.. – wrote and sent off this morning at 12 1/4 by James Marshall a 1/2 sheet full and 1 page of 1/2 sheet envelope to ‘Mrs Henry Belcombe, Minster Yard, York’ chit chat – thank her very much for her kind letter – a great disappointment to me not to be able to spend a little while with her (vide line 26 of the last page) but my aunt would be alarmed etc etc an inconvenience to me also theirs to hurry out of York, as I had business there I was anxious to settle – said the cholera was a better excuse than usual for the Lawtons Change of plans –

Came to my room at 6 1/4 finished my letter of 3 pages to my aunt merely thanks for her letter and the parcel received on the 12th and to say I had ‘just fixed to be off from here on Monday morning, stay an hour or 2 in York about the business you know ‘I am so anxious to settle, and hope to reach you by about nine in the evening of that day’– had intended staying a few days but thought it best to keep out of the way of cholera as much as one could – mentioned my letter and draft to Mr Henry Playforth sent off on Monday and begged Marian to name it, if she was writing to any of her friends at Market Weighton – Steel going to Malton and sent off by him at 6 3/4 my letter to my aunt ‘Shibden hall H–x (Halifax)’ and to ‘Mrs Lawton, Lawton hall, Lawton, Cheshire’ and to ‘Robert Parker Esquire The Square H–x (Halifax)’ tea – looking over and making notes from Mrs N– (Norcliffe) manuscript account taken from his letters of Norcliffes tour to the northern capitals – 

3/4 hour tête à tête with CN– (Charlotte Norcliffe) very good friends as usual – came to my room at11 3/4 – CN– (Charlotte Norcliffe) with me a few minutes – dull morning – rain from 1 1/2 for the rest of the day and all the evening – heavy rain with thunder and forked lightning – Fahrenheit 66° at 12 tonight –

left margin: walked with CN– (Charlotte Norcliffe) in the East backfield for 1/2 hour then a few minutes in the garden but rain sent me in at 1 1/2 –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0082

#annelistercodebreaker #annelister #june1832 #mariana

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

#50 questions tag #personal #sam's ramblings #mutuals #hope you enjoy reading about boring old me :) #it's very long i know! i talk too much

[the-record-newspaper]

Unsolved: Murder at Jumpingoff Place: Hiding in Plain Sight Part XXXI

Richard Lynn Bare at the time of

his arrest and an artist’s depiction 

of what he might look like today

By LARRY J. GRIFFIN

Special Reporter for The Record

Editor’s Note:  This installment is part of the continuing investigation into the murder at Jumpingoff Place, which occurred on Jan. 15, 1984.  The story that follows is predicated upon many interviews with the Geist family, who lived near the nexus of Ashe and Wilkes County, between 2002-2006, and was friends with Harold and Darlene Brooks. Within this time frame, the Geists claimed to have encountered fugitive Richard Lynn Bare on several occasions.  Though attempts have been made to encourage Harold and Darlene Brooks to comment on the stories, they each have declined to do so as of this writing.

Larry Severt was dying.  In fact, when a celebratory party was held to honor him at his residence, purportedly on the first Saturday after New Year’s—Jan. 3, 2004—the 62-year-old had 18 days to live.  

“Just to look at him, you couldn’t tell that he had lung cancer—I told him as much, that he didn’t look sick at all, although he was dressed in a hospital gown and sitting up on his lift bed,” recalled Annie Geist.  “Bill and me were invited to attend the party to celebrate—well, we were told to celebrate the end of his chemo treatment.  I had no idea that he was as sick as he was.”

Ironically Annie’s 32-year-old husband, Bill Geist, was experiencing symptoms indicative of lung disease.  “For the whole of our marriage, I felt like something was wrong with him.  I later learned that he had already been diagnosed with early stages of lung cancer when he was 18-years-old,” Annie recollected. And I found out during the party that Mr. Larry had an advanced case—I was shocked!”

The Geists drove to Harold and Darlene Brooks’s double-wide, located back in the trees, adjacent to Larry and Barbara Severt’s home.  “We walked down to Barbara’s house—Darlene’s mother—at about 1 p.m.  I was standing on the porch talking with Darlene about some Avon that I ordered, and my husband pulled out a wad of cash to pay her for it.  Darlene told Bill that she was only going to charge me $50 for about a $200 order and that he could take care of payment later.  But she also warned him to keep his money in his pocket and out of sight, because her brother, Lynn, was likely drop by at any time looking for some money.” It was then that Larry Severt spotted the Geists through the window and called for Annie to come inside to visit with him. “‘I have something I need to tell you,’ Mr. Larry told me; so I went inside—Bill, Darlene, and Harold followed.  The conversation we had came as a complete shock; I wasn’t ready for it,” Annie averred.  

“Annie?”  Larry began.

“Yes, Sir,” I replied.

“Go get Bill, Darlene, and Harold; I have something to say to all of you.”

Once everyone assembled, Larry Severt announced, “I have cancer; I don’t know how much time we have left.  So, I want you to come and see me as often as you can, and I will come see you.” Then he turned to Annie and said, “I love you and Bill like grandchildren.  So, let’s be happy for the time we have left.”

“I started crying when he said that.  Ms. Barbara noticed and said to me, ‘Come into the kitchen here and get some ice cream.’ Of course she was trying to comfort me and take my mind off Mr. Larry’s announcement.”

Bill, Darlene, and Harold walked back outside to where some of the kids were playing. Annie was left alone in the kitchen with Barbara.  “I took the opportunity to ask Ms. Barbara some questions—I ask a lot of questions—about some things that bothered me.  I asked her about Darlene’s brother, Ricky, and how he died.  She told me that her son was driving in a car and was hit by a drunk driver,” Annie remembered.

Ricky Lee Wyatt was born on Sunday, July 30, 1961—the second youngest of the three children of Bobby Dean Wyatt and Barbara Sheets Wyatt.  Both of were 22-years-old at the time and residing in the Wilbar Township of Wilkes County.  Weighing in at 7 lbs. 10½ oz., Ricky arrived, 8:13 a.m., at Ashe Memorial Hospital—after what is listed as a 40-week pregnancy.  

On a Monday afternoon—five days before Christmas, 1976—the 15-year-old was a “passenger” in an automobile traveling on Hwy 163 that runs to and from West Jefferson. About 4:15 p.m., his vehicle collided with a truck.  The impact killed Wyatt instantaneously; he was pronounced dead on the scene around 5:10 p.m.  According to the Ashe County death certificate, the immediate cause of death was attributed to an “acute head injury.”  But near-illegible handwritten information on the death certificate raises a couple of questions, when compared to local-tradition accounts of that fateful Monday in 1976.  

Popular memory has it that Ricky was driving his automobile down Hwy 163—likely in the direction of Laurel Springs, where he resided with his parents. One account stipulates that a blue and white Ford Bronco, driven by an elderly couple, precipitated the accident when they pulled onto 163 and struck Wyatt.  Though the youth was killed, the couple was unharmed. Mother Barbara, in detailing the tragedy to Annie Geist, averred that the driver of the second vehicle was “drunk,” but apparently implied that her son was the driver of the car in which he was traveling.  

Certainly if Ricky Wyatt was driving the vehicle, he was doing so illegally, as he was only 15-years-old.  Neither local account mentioned that there was a passenger in the young driver’s car nor that he was a passenger.  Yet, the death certificate indicates that Ricky was “apparently a passenger in a runaway auto, struck by a truck.”  Presently, attempts are being made to locate the Ashe Sheriff’s Department report of the 1976 accident for clarification of details.

“I asked Barbara because Darlene spoke of her brother often and had a couple of pictures of him hanging from walls,” Annie recalled.  “In fact, she told me that she named her son—Ricky Curtis Taylor [born Oct. 17, 1980]—after her brother, Ricky Lee.  So of course, I wanted to know what happened.”

Annie ventured another question—one that touched a wound—relative to the seemingly contentious nature of the relationship between Darlene and a man to whom she constantly referred as “a—hole.”  Prior to her conversation with Barbara, Annie overheard Darlene talking to this same man on her cell phone.  “She was pretty much cussing him, shouting at him and telling him not to come around. She told him that he was worthless and that her brother Bare was just like him.”

“So, I asked Barbara, ‘Who’s a—hole that Darlene refers to?’  Ms. Barbara said that he was Darlene’s real daddy—Richard Leon Bare. She told me that her daughter didn’t want anything to do with him, and he really wasn’t welcome around her.”  

Darlene Wyatt Brooks was born on Monday, Aug. 13, 1962, 9:35 a.m., at Alleghany Memorial Hospital.  According to her birth certificate, she was the third child of Barbara Sheets Wyatt and Husband Bobby Dean.  By the time Darlene arrived, her parents and two brothers had moved from the Wilbar Township of neighboring Wilkes to the Ashe County side of Laurel Springs. Although the certificate clearly stipulates that Bobby Wyatt is her father,   Darlene and Barbara allegedly told another story—especially to Annie Geist.

“Yes, they both told me that Richard Leon Bare was Darlene’s birth father… And when I saw her and the man she called ‘brother Bare’ together, I thought then—and still do—that they definitely look as if they are related to each other.  In fact, she is the female version of Richard Lynn Bare, in my opinion.”

If that asseveration is accurate, then Darlene Wyatt’s birth date falls between that of Lynn’s brother Bobby—who arrived on September 22, 1957 to Richard Leon and Lorene—and Lynn Bare himself, born July 6, 1964.  Whatever supposed encounter occurred between the senior Bare and Barbara Wyatt ostensibly transpired sometime in November 1961 in order for Darlene to appear on Aug. 13, 1962.  It should be noted that at the time, Barbara was married to Bobby Wyatt and would remain so until his death sometime before Nov. 14, 1970 when, according to Ms. Wyatt’s second marriage certificate, she married Larry Severt.

But that revelation was overshadowed by the proverbial “bombshell” Barbara Severt purportedly dropped during her brief intimate conversation with Annie.  

“Ms. Barbara told me that when Darlene was 13-years-old, she was with her real dad, Bare [Richard Leon Bare], in Statesville for some reason or other. She went on to say that Darlene really didn’t remember much about it—or, at the least, did not talk about it—however, (there was a reason) she hated her father,” Annie explained.  “She also said that Larry Severt confronted Bare…, and Mr. Larry beat him up.  I never heard this story from Darlene, only Ms. Barbara.”

“‘So, is Richard Leon Bare just Darlene’s daddy or was he Ricky’s as well?’ I asked Barbara. But before she could answer, our conversation was suddenly interrupted.”

Almost as if on cue, a silver, four-door automobile pulled into the Severt’s driveway.  An older man emerged from the driver’s side and stood by the vehicle.  Darlene bolted off the porch and walked deliberately toward the driver, hurling expletives as she approached.  “Though I had no idea who he was at first, it soon became clear that she was shouting at a—hole.”

“Mr. Bare was not alone; there was a woman—maybe his wife, Lorene—and two other people in the back seat—one male, one female.  At first I thought them to be older kids; but, they may have been young adults. They were too far away for me to tell for sure, and they never got out of the vehicle.  The lady in the front seat got out of the car as well and stood beside Bare, attempting to calm Darlene down,” Annie averred.

“‘We’ll have to finish talking later,’ Barbara turned and said to me.  I didn’t know what was being said down at the car.  One thing for sure:   Darlene obviously told all of them to leave; they weren’t welcome!”

Annie excused herself to go to the restroom.  When she returned, Larry Severt told her that he wanted to go sit in the porch swing and asked if she would join him.   “He was wearing only his hospital gown; but, we walked out to the porch swing.  By that time, Darlene had walked away from Richard Leon’s car; however, my husband Bill had walked down the yard and was talking to them.”

Annie looked sideward toward the scene as it unfolded at the Bare’s automobile.  It was then that she noticed a lone figure walking down the road and up the Severt’s driveway.  “I knew who it was when I saw him approach the car and those standing around it.  He had no beard and something of a Mohawk hairstyle but he was dressed as he usually was when I had seen him previously—white T-shirt, black jeans, and cowboy boots.  And this was the only time that I saw him when he wasn’t driving some kind of vehicle. Mr. Larry saw Lynn Bare too, prompting him to yell toward the car and all the unwelcomed visitors.  ‘Y’all need to leave; I don’t want you here; so, go!’ It took all Mr. Larry had to yell; yet, no one left.  He pulled himself up from the swing and went inside in a huff.”

Darlene and Barbara joined in the chorus, ordering the Bares off the property.  Bill Geist tried to intercede and importune them to leave before there was any trouble.  “You are upsetting everyone; so, you should leave,” he urged them. “Now!”

As he was talking directly to Richard Leon, Bill felt someone tap him on the shoulder. “Hey broth--,” a voice interjected before swallowing the last word.  In a defensive Tae Kwon Do move, Bill reactively spun around to defend himself, almost knocking Lynn Bare to the ground.  “He told Lynn not to ever touch him like that again with his back turned—if he did, he would deck him,” Annie remembered.  

Bill with increased insistence repeated his request, “Man, you need to leave—all of you. You’re trespassing now.  No one wants you here.  

“You don’t own this property!” countered Richard Leon Bare.  “You can’t tell us what to do!”

Suddenly and inexplicably, a gun blast was heard, coming from the rear of the house. Everyone froze, looking in the direction of the report.  The door opened and Larry Severt appeared on the porch with his shotgun in hand.  “‘I told all of y’all to leave, and I am not going to say it again,’ Mr. Larry said in a loud but strained voice,’” Annie recalled.

Then Severt directed his vituperative rant toward Father and Son Bare.  “You are worthless, sorry excuses for human beings!”  As the volume and quality of his voiced weakened, his castigation seemed to focus now on Lynn:  “And you boy, your mother should have never had you; you’re a waste of life.  You’ve been nothing but trouble for this whole family!”

As he repeated the behest to leave the property, Severt started pumping his gun; but it would not fire again.  Richard Leon approached the porch, walking resolutely toward the gunman.  Larry raised his shotgun and leveled it directly at the senior Bare’s face.

“It was then that I walked out of the house once again to see Mr. Larry trying to get the gun to fire at Bare.  I swear if he could’ve gotten the gun to fire, he would’ve shot Mr. Bare [Richard Leon] who turned quickly and walked off the porch back toward his car.”  

“By now, we all were standing in the yard waiting for the Bares to leave, when we heard Mr. Larry’s gun engage,” continued Annie.  “All of us looked toward the porch in time to see him point the shotgun toward Bare’s car.  And we all scattered—none of us wanted to get shot by mistake.  Me and Bill ran with Darlene and Harold back toward their double-wide.  As we left, I saw Lynn Bare leaving by the same road he arrived on—only this time he wasn’t walking; he was running.”

The near-fatal January 3rd encounter unnecessarily depleted Larry Severt’s flagging strength.  “His voice was gone after all the yelling; and, I don’t think the he talked much to anyone after that.  He simply couldn’t.  Mr. Larry went downhill from there,” Annie mused.

Eighteen days later, 3:25 a.m., Larry Dennis Severt drew his final labored breath at his residence.   According to his certificate of death, he succumbed to lung cancer that had metastasized throughout his body.  Born April 6, 1941, Mr. Severt was 62-years-old when he died.

[twiexmachina]

I have a ryomarx mistaken number au that I never wrote, but yesterday, the tweet that Matt “voice of Ryoma” Mercer got shitfaced and passed out on the creator of Neopets couch and.

well.

i got inspired and it got out of hand.  and i feel sorry for everyone on mobile.

🍣 22:25 grumpy 🍣 22:26 grumpy im so bored 🍣 22:26 i’m bored at a bar and that never happens 😭

😾 22:31 You?  The life of the party?  Bored?  That never happens.

🍣 22:32 I KNOW 🍣 22:32 but alas 🍣 22:33 im bored

😾 22:35 So you’re texting me.

🍣 22:35 ya 🍣 22:36 dont get pouty grumpy 🍣 22:38 i like you and you’re good to talk to so i text you regularly. more than my friends who i actually socialize with

😾 22:39 I understand.  So tell me what has you bored.  Because I have a feeling that this doesn’t happen much.

🍣 22:40 u kno me so well 🍣 22:41 theres 2 reasons why i’m like this 🍣 22:42 the first is that because this is a friday so my jobmates go out and we drink

😾 22:43 You think you would be good at that.

🍣 22:44 YOUD THINK 🍣 22:45 but my usual friends had other stuff so they didn’t want to go out 🍣 22:46 my entire friend group grumpy 🍣 22:46 i kno the people here but i dont know them

😾 22:47 I hate that I can understand what that means, but go on.

🍣 22:48 mmmmmmmm 🍣 22:48 im tired of talking about me what are you up to

😾 22:49 You’re deflecting.

🍣 22:49 ya

😾 22:50 I’ll allow it 😾 22:51 I’m at home, as usual.  It’s late so I’m just reading.  My youngest sister went to bed so we have to be quiet.  

🍣 22:52 dont u ever go out 🍣 22:53 ur always home reading

😾 22:51 Not particularly. 😾 22:54 Where I work, it’s tradition to go to some local bar and drink.  Network, I guess.  But I can’t handle that. 😾 22:57 I spend so much energy managing everyone and making sure that things get done, I can’t allocate the energy to go out and talk to people I barely know. 😾 22:58 So it’s just easier to go home, unwind around family, crash in peace.  I also have things to do in the morning.

🍣 22:59 weekends arent your days off

😾 23:00 Exactly 😾 23:00 Also That Asshole would make a scene if I went. 😾 23:03 Make it a Big Deal that the resident hermit is going out to get drinks.  If I decided to go, he would not leave me alone the entire night.  If I don’t go, well isn’t that just standard.  He accepts that I won’t go, so he says nothing.

🍣 23:04 what a prick

😾 23:04 I know.

🍣 23:05 i honestly hate that he’s always up your ass about things like that 🍣 23:06 like...........cant he tell??????  that youre overworked and tired????? 🍣 23:07 but thats kinda where im at right now 🍣 23:08 at ‘i don’t have the energy to talk to these people’ 🍣 23:09 i have before. we dont have anything in common except work. 🍣 23:10 i wouldnt mind talking but all there is is work

😾 23:11 You could recommend sushi places.  Worked for me.

🍣 23:14 u underestimate urself. youre easy to talk to. youre grumpy but we do have similar interests and personality

😾 23:15 I like spelling more than you do though.

🍣 23:16 i spent time cultivating this style and both u and my sis get hilariously annoyed by this so it wont stop

😾 23:17 Thank you though.  You’re comforting to talk with. 😾 23:23 You said there was another reason?

🍣 23:24 ya this bar only has good beer and its not buzzing the same way

😾 23:26 I didn’t think you partied that hard at a bar.  Do you really need something hard?

🍣 23:26 ya 🍣 23:27 see its my dads fault

😾 23:28 I don’t know your age biut I was assuming that you were old enough to not be blaming things on your father.

🍣 23:31 nah not like that. my dad and moms took my little bro over to japan to see family. i didnt go because ~job~ but i always really liked going. dad brought back sake and ive been going over to hang out and drink and just talk. 🍣 23:32 dad brought back a lot of sake 🍣 23:32 it mustve had a big effect on me 🍣 23:33 because this beer is s h i t 🍣 23:34 do you even drink

😾 23:35 Yes, a glass of wine at dinner, most nights.  Just a glass.

🍣 23:36 not surprised 🍣 23:37 do u buy vintage wine 🍣 23:38 ive recommended u the best japanese food to eat in the city recommend me a fine vintage good sir

😾 23:40 Not my thing, I just go to the local liquor store.  I don’t need anything that fancy or extreme. 😾 23:41 Granted, my father owned a vineyard, so I do know that stuff, I choose not to care.

🍣 23:42 plz tell me u drink boxed wine to get back at your Rich Dick Father

😾 23:44 I don’t hate myself that much. 😾 23:50 Did the bar get more entertaining Sushi?

🍣 23:51 havent forgotten about you grumpy just getting more to drink

😾 23:53 I just realized that you’ve been there for over an hour.  How much are you drinking?

🍣 23:54 grumpy youve never been to a bar have you

😾 23:55 Do clubs count?

🍣 23:56 grumpy 🍣 23:56 oh my god 🍣 23:56 grumpy goes clubbing

😾 23:57 I don’t go there in my spare time.  I go there because my friend wants me there to be his wingman.

🍣 23:58 grumpy youre literally killing me im giggling at a bar 🍣 00:00 grumpy i think this is the first time that youve implied that you may have a sex life

😾 00:01 Don’t worry I don’t have a sex life. 😾 00:02 I don’t know why I didn’t realize that sentence was a mistake until I sent it. 😾 00:05 Anyway since you’re still dying, I should say that I don’t know why he takes me as a wingman because it goes three ways. 😾 00:06 Either he never had a chance because of just him himself, I fail as a wingman, or I end up getting their number instead.

🍣 00:07 g r u m p y

😾 00:08 i k n o w

🍣 00:09 oh god have you ever hooked up with someone you met in a bar 🍣 00:10 have you gotten a bathroom blowjob????

😾 00:10 You’ve been drinking too much.  Also no, I like to be friends with someone before I date them, and especially before I have sex.

🍣 00:11 grumpy this is not drunk at all 🍣 00:12 i dont get drunk 🍣 00:12 i got shitfaced once 🍣 00:13 never again

😾 00:14 Tell me.

🍣 00:15 ugh i hate this memory 🍣 00:16 so have you ever played neopets 🍣 00:17 okay so i know thats a no 🍣 00:17 i haven’t either 🍣 00:18 but s o m e h o w i ended up in their hotel

😾 00:20 Sushi it’s midnight, I can’t be laughing.

🍣 00:21 dont laugh at my shame

😾 00:22 How did you even get there?

🍣 00:21 grumpy do u kno what shitfaced means 🍣 00:22 at least i didnt bang the neopets dude. i was clothed unfortunately because i threw up on it 🍣 00:23 some poor maid had to clean a couch i ruined 😖

😾 00:24 This is still hilarious but I’m seriously worried about you.

🍣 00:25 we cant all be ~rational~ 🍣 00:25 can u still be my friend knowing im like this

😾 00:26 Of course.

🍣 00:35 hey can u start to use emojis or loose grammar or something so you dont make my jokes serious like this

😾 00:37 My opinion of you started incredibly low considering you dialed the wrong number and then proceeded to continue talking to me.

🍣 00:38 yes perfect deflection thank you 🍣 00:40 I’m glad my fat fingers dialed your number. youre a good friend 🍣 00:50 guess you fell asleep good night grumpy.  thanks for talking with me. i didnt realize how late it was because time flies when i talk to you

#twiexfanfiction #twiexdrabbles #wrong number au #long post #why should i write my novel when i can write text conversations

[storiesbybrian]

You Live In A Zoo

Ken was riding alone in the elevator, holding a large black forest cake when he sneezed. He aimed his face away from the cake, but the volume of snot and spit oozing down the elevator’s wood-paneling suggested the cake had not escaped the sneeze’s blast radius. Well, Ken thought. Maybe the cake deserves it for preventing my hands from taking one for the team. So it was unsurprising to turn back and see the white-piped letters reading HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA glistening with effluvia, but it was still dismaying. Ken would have loved to blame the person who insisted that cake boxes, with their thin cardboard and non-biodegradable plastic skylights, were preposterously wasteful, but that ever so environmentally ethical person was the same one who just exposed the cake to his own inner environment. He tried blowing the cake clean, which sent a flagella of mucus he hadn’t realized was dangling from his nose lashing across both Ps, just as the elevator stopped on his in-laws’ floor.

He stepped out and placed the slimy cake on the hallway carpet. Sounds of merriment  streamed from the cracked door of his wife’s childhood home. Sounds of merriment and his father-in-law’s favorite record, Extensions by the Manhattan Transfer. That damn record was going to play on repeat all night. Ken took a tissue from his pocket and poised a corner of it over the cake, hoping to absorb his nose’s unwelcome contribution without disturbing the calligraphy. He caught one substantial gob that way, but a few streaks still glared up at him. Using a different corner of the tissue, he swept these toward the nearest cherries where they could just blend right in.

When the most damning of the evidence was cleared, Ken stuffed the tissue into his back pocket and carried the cake the rest of the way to his mother-in-law’s 70th birthday party. Jessica and Boris’s apartment had five bedrooms and four and a half bathrooms, all centered around a dining room so large, Ken always expected Irish wolfhounds to come running in at dinner time, even though the building was pet-free. Ken was nearly sure he would have hated the art they slapped all over their infinite wallspace even if his in-laws’ rent wasn’t lower than what he and Caroline were paying for a one-bedroom 10 blocks away. But maybe he did feel more brutally assaulted by that economic outrage than he did by the enlarged ads for a French liqueur, the brown, crumbling opera announcements, the braille transcriptions of rap lyrics and poetry by Havel, the portraits of all six members of their immediate family, all those ornate frame corners poking from the mint green walls like dungeon spikes.

“Happy Birthday!” he said loudly enough, he hoped, for his mother-in-law to hear him anywhere in the cavernous apartment. He turned left, ducking under copper whisks and ladles hanging from the kitchen doorway to hand the snot-smeared cake off to his brother-in-law Gene, who ruled the kitchen with a despotism his cooking did not merit. Gene took it with one hand, without looking up from his phone. Caroline was pinned to the living room sofa by two of their nephews. Ken stood at the edge of the room, giving the entire party one more chance to herald his arrival, and maybe give him subtle guidance on who to kiss first, his wife, the birthday girl or scotch. Just in case any of Rebecca’s guests noticed he was there, he imagined them judging him most harshly if he greeted anyone before his wife so he wended his way past Caroline’s siblings and parents’ friends to the skirmish on the couch.

“Hi Uncle Ken!” his nephew Elijah said. “Can I tickle your armpits?”

Ken knew permission didn’t matter so after glancing disgustedly at the cluster of paintings, charcoals and lithographs, united in their celebration of 19th Century Japanese agriculture, he stiff-armed Elijah and leant over to kiss Caroline. He wanted to be able to confide in her about the splash he’d made on her mother’s cake, to have it be their dirty little secret, which made him think of Betsy, a girl he’d known years before getting married who, one winter, dared him to stick his tongue up her nostril, which he did. And while getting his tongue poked by her jagged, salty boogers wasn’t much of an erotic thrill, goddamn it was intimate! But Caroline’s devotion to her mother was too slavish to allow her to conspire, even mildly, against her so, with Elijah swiping away at his underarm and kicking at his shin to get closer, Ken just smiled and told her she looked nice, wondering why breathing in the chopped herring on her breath didn’t feel as intimate as Betsy’s boogers.

Elijah reached a few finger tips to Ken’s armpit. Ken clamped his arm down, trapping Elijah’s wriggling fingers against his ribcage. Ken smirked and said, “Still too thin to win, boy.”

“Uh, Ken?” Gene said, swatting his own torso with a spatula right where Joan Jett’s eyes squinted from his dark denim Meow Mix apron. “May I see you in the kitchen?”

Everyone at the party intoned her own version of, “Uh oh, what’d you do?”

Ken assured Caroline that everything was fine and dragged Elijah toward the kitchen ready to deny everything. Absolutely everything. Just before the utensil stalactites, Ken raised his arm and Elijah ran back to the sofa, stopping briefly to try crying but abandoning the project when no tears sprang forth. In the kitchen, Gene gave Joan Jett a break and pointed his spatula at a Royal Copenhagen gravy boat on a shelf he couldn’t reach.

“Gene,” Ken said.

“Yes, Ken?”

“You know I’m not the tallest one here. I’m not even your tallest family member.”

“Darling,” Gene’s father Boris said, poking a rare nude spot on a wall repeatedly. “I’m hungry.”

Boris tried to maintain deference to his son while also entering his own kitchen and sticking spoonfuls from every pot into his mouth, using a different spoon each time, and leaving it there, until it looked like he was trying to swallow a very fancy bicycle gear. Boris was almost elfin in his slightness, his ribbed turtle neck sagging from the slender limbs of his 4’ 9” frame. But then there were his eyebrows, which Ken believed could hold carnations by their stems.

“Daddy!” Gene said. “How is it?”

“That one’s great, that one’s pretty good, that one’s very good, that one’s too mushy and that one needs salt,” Boris said, extracting the spoon corresponding to each critique separately.

Ken felt like the entertainment value of the family schtick had reached its apex, so he handed Gene the gravy boat and made his way to the bar.

Boris had hired the same catering company that handled Ken and Caroline’s wedding, but only for beverage and waiting service. All of the food was courtesy of Gene, who bravely ignored the disappointment shrink-wrapping every thank you and congratulations his parents’ guests lavished on him. Gene’s menu was modeled on Boris and Rebecca’s first date, when Rebecca’s grandmother had served them beef stroganoff by candlelight on the fire escape of Rebecca’s childhood apartment in Middle Village. In addition to the egg noodles and beef stew, Gene had kasha varnishkes, steamed carrots, roast broccoli, cold potato leek soup, and fried zucchini blossoms stuffed with goat cheese. The shard of blossom batter Boris had hacked off with a spoon edge was what needed salt. Ken had never eaten Rebecca’s cooking, which led him to believe it was bad, and he wondered how Boris finessed deploying gusto on their first date with exiling her from the kitchen for the next 40 years.

“Scotch and soda?” Ken said to the bartender.

“Single malt or blend?” the bartender asked. Ken was slightly perturbed to be delayed by further consideration, but this was a special occasion so maybe Boris had sprung for some of the good stuff.

“Single malt,” he said. “Hold the soda.”

The bartender poured a slug from an oddly shaped bottle of a brand Ken never heard of into a wine glass. Tattooed flames rose above the cuffs of her tuxedo shirt, licking at her palms, making Ken feel warmer.

“Hey,” he said. “Have I seen your band play? At the Mercury Lounge?”

“Nice try,” she said. “But I don’t think so.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Ken saw Caroline’s twin brother Tommy watching him get his drink and somehow Ken knew that Tommy had already made the bartender tense about getting hit on.

“No really,” Ken said. “I’m… married, but I do get out to see music pretty often.”

The bartender nodded with all the polite contempt she could contain within the boundaries of professionalism. Ken had his drink and now she’d really like to stop interacting with him. Have a nice day, sir. But Ken felt embarrassed and protected by his connection to the payer of tonight’s bills, so, beneath the shroud of his own bullshit version of decorum, he declared himself the arbiter of when this little chat would be over.

“Drums?” he asked.

“I’m not in a band,” she said. “You don’t recognize me.”

She looked past him to someone else who wanted a drink. Ken turned to see who, hoping it was somebody he didn’t know. In five minutes, he’d secretly ruined the birthday cake and meta-cheated on the birthday girl’s youngest daughter.

“Two red wines please,” Caroline’s sister Gretchen said.

“Hey,” Ken said. “Elijah’s really getting stronger!”

“Yeah,” Gretchen said, taking her wines. “I really wish you’d help me discourage his more violent tendencies, Ken.”

Am I crushing it or what? Ken thought. Well, the scotch was very good. Time to move on to the next exhibit and pay tribute to his mother-in-law.

Rebecca was in a group that included her brother Alan, and her department dean at CUNY. They stood by Boris’s large oil of a barn in Vermont. Ken couldn’t look at the painting without picturing two farmers holding Boris by the ankles so they could paint the barn with his eyebrows.

“No!” Rebecca said to her brother.

“Oh yes,” Uncle Alan said. “Ken, maybe you’ve heard about this.”

“About what? Happy birthday, Rebecca.”

“Thank you, Ken,” she said, extending her cheek to be bussed. Ken never found Rebecca attractive, but her hair was well-coiffed and her jawline was strong and she usually smelled nice. “How’s the cake look?”

“Like a potential fire hazard,” he said to a heartening amount of chuckling. “What am I supposed to settle here?”

“Well, Alan says there was a guy on his flight who was whittling. Whittling! On an airplane. Is that really a thing now?”

“Oh yeah, I have heard something about that,” Ken said. He had not.

“See?” Alan said. “And it was a full-on bowie knife too!”

“Must’ve been a service knife,” Rebecca’s dean said, waiting for his subordinate to laugh at his wit. Rebecca nodded without mirth and Ken tried staring at the dean, daring him to be petty enough to make a note of Rebecca’s defiance, but wary that the dean might mistake his look for a ha ha I’m funnier than you taunt. Someone tapped Ken’s shoulder. It was Tommy, beckoning Ken into the bedroom where he still lived.

“Boys,” Rebecca said. “No vaping!”

Tommy closed the door. Ken had never been able to square Tommy’s bedroom decor with his personality. Floating shelves jutted from one burgundy wall, holding several dozen coffee table books on subjects ranging from wartime photography to arctic wildlife photography, none of which Ken had ever heard Tommy talk about, even when relevant subjects came up in family conversations. The opposite wall was dominated by a wide oak desk that held three monitors across which Bloomberg financial data perpetually ticked. His bed was a stately four-poster that Ken doubted ever saw any action. Tommy sat on it and invited Ken to sit next to him. Ken declined.

“I do have a pen, if you want some,” Tommy said.

“No thanks.”

“So… uh, just thought you should know that the reason Gene called you into the kitchen was to settle a bet we had.”

“Uh huh?”

“Ken,” Tommy said. “You know Caroline tells me everything, right? Like, everything.”

“Well I’m sure there are some-”

“Everything.”

“I see.”

“So, like, my bet with Gene,” Tommy said, now fiddling with the vape pen. “Gene says he can smell how long it’s been since somebody’s… you know. Had sex?”

“Um, for just how much was this bet?”

“Five bucks.”

“Ooh, high stakes!”

“Hey, you can make fun of me if you want Ken, but has it ever occurred to you that I might be helpful to you here?”

Ken tried to leave the room and Tommy yanked him by the arm til he was sitting on Tommy’s plaid comforter with the edge of a sham pillow under one buttock, Tommy’s weight by the foot of the bed seesawing Ken till his feet didn’t reach the floor. And sure enough, Caroline had told Tommy everything, everything being that Ken had not had sex with his wife in several months, and that she correctly surmised it was because he had gotten so tired of being the sole initiator of sexual contact with his wife that he had vowed to leave his balls in her court until she was ready to pick them up and play with them of her own volition. And even with Tommy’s spin on the state of his sister’s marriage, it all sounded pretty reasonable to Ken. What Ken was afraid to say, to Caroline or Tommy or anyone, was that he just wanted to be wanted, that he was tired of doing all of the wanting, so tired, and ashamed of how unwanted he felt and further ashamed of how hopeful he was that his wife’s overweight twin brother might actually be able to help him out here. So they talked some more. And vaped. Ken was about to ask Tommy to put on some music when his phone chirped. It was a text from Caroline reading CAKE!

Ken and Tommy emerged from the bedroom to see everyone gathered and facing Boris and Rebecca. Boris signaled Gene to turn down the music mid-Coo Coo U. Ken stood next to Caroline, trying not to seethe at her for exposing his private foibles to what now felt like the entire party. Did everyone around them seem extra gentle and sympathetic with him? Or was that Tommy’s pot?

Boris gave a bland speech about how thrilling it was to share this milestone with so many of his and Rebecca’s nearest and dearest. Ken estimated the toast was about 15% too long, but Rebecca managed to keep her smile looking genuine the whole time.

Ken went off to use Gretchen’s bathroom, because it was the only one with a door that shut completely. Gretchen’s room was being used for changing and storage by the caterers. Among the various duffels and totes was one Hello Kitty backpack scaled with buttons featuring ostensibly rebellious slogans: Save the Rainforests, They/Them, Fuck White Supremacy, Stop All Wars, People Over Profits, Health Care Is A Right, Leave Britney Alone, Oil Kills and more, plus a few that were just pictures or symbols. Ken used his toe to undo the backpack’s zipper, and then the same toe to widen his view into the backpacks contents, just enough to see the scarred blonde wood of a few drumsticks. He tried his best to not feel ashamed by how good this vindication felt. But with that much joy for a triumph that frivolous, the shame could not be kept at bay. Out of fury at the flame-wristed bartender for her role in his present difficulties, he did not bother to rezip her backpack.

Gene was waiting for him outside of Gretchen’s bathroom.

“Best lock?” he asked, handing Ken a piece of birthday cake.

Ken nodded and took the cake without eating it. They ambled together back to within earshot of the Manhattan Transfer. Ken pretended not to notice Gene’s pretending not to notice the guests smiling more widely over the cake than they had over his fare.

“Saw you talkin’ to Tommy,” he said. “And I dunno what he told you, but if you want the advice of somebody with a more robust love life?”

“You mean you,” Ken said.

Gene stopped walking for a millisecond, as if to warn Ken that he was about to blow his shot at the gems Gene was feeling generous enough to offer. And while he was still hiding how desperate he really was, Ken put enough remorse on his face for Gene to continue.

“You’ve gotta be an animal Ken! You know? Primitive! Find something deep within yourself and just let it out. Rowr! That’s sexy.”

Ken nodded agreeably. Too agreeably, like, give me a medal for being such a good agreer.

“Thanks Gene,” he said. “Here. You can have my cake.”

#Short Fiction #Short Story #Fiction #Happy Birthday #Family #Cake #Marriage

[vortexlnfinitum]

ramblings about theo yeeee

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

- licherally the only reason i picked the name theodor is because its cartman’s middle name (theodore with an e tho) and i liked how it sounded😔 i just wanted an oc named theo. victor comes from victor frankenstein, another (now horror related!) name ive liked. wolfram is obvs reference to him being a werewolf, and since i had “german names” theme with him and his siblings, i took a lil help from googl to find german surname that had wolf in it lol.

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

- missing tail. feels “incomplete” as a werewolf, doesnt feel like he fits in with his family. its a bit shallow insecurity of his, but really its more than that to him. obvs not hideable.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

- prolly his arm muscles.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

- his kindness and his eyes :3c

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

- oh definitely more confident type.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

- uhhhhhhh, idk? not rly ig?

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

- does a lil growl when annoyed. awoo habit.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

- used to be more selfish, but things happened, had to take care of his family. is still a bit selfish, but not as much as he used to.

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?

- winter, dislikes hot weather. doesnt rly have any favorite holidays.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

- masc.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

- hurting his younger siblings, especially robin.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

- uhmmm uuuhhhh, s-sports??? IDK SDHFH.... he likes to be in shape.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

- light sleeper, wakes up easily. peaceful sleeper, but takes a lot of space.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

- oh boy. during his teenage years he rarely spent any time at home. mostly just slept there, but other than that, his family never really saw him. during college years he was roommates with his friends diego, markus and toby. partied a lot with diego and markus, much to toby’s annoyance. all in all theo loved living with his best friends for few years. after theo’s parents died, he now had to spent more time at home so his siblings would stay together and grow up together in the same houshold. this time was a bit hectic to theo, lots of bad stuff happened all at once, but he did his best for his siblings, since they had no one else to rely on. during this time he started to reconnect with his siblings more and was (and still is) very protective of them. one of his younger siblings started dating a vampire (theo has a...beef with vampires), and he was against it at first. hearing about the vampire’s family situation he, hesitantly, agreeded that he could stay at their house. actually grew up to love the vampire like his own younger siblings. they still bicker time to time. after all of his siblings moved out (when they were old enough), he started living with his husband and their two kids. loves all of them very dearly and wouldnt change his life to anything.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.

- (used to be) mr. dracula, sir. used to fight with the guy during their school years. also theo got dracula’s at-the-time gf to sleep with him. dracula wasnt happy about it. years later tho dracula married one of theo’s closest friends and nowdays they’re in better terms.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

- athletic! loves sports! any kind really! is especially keen on running and lifting. also likes soccer.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

- You betcha! and his dreams got true thanks to one special lizardman.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

- ive always pictured he was the one who stayed at his family’s house. it was a place he used to... well, hate is a strong word, dislike? After getting more responsible the place soon became very dear to him tho.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

- Used to get into physical fights during his teen/younger adult years. I’d say he’d be a good fighter, wouldnt give up easily, but has gotten his ass beaten few times too.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

- well i mean. he /is/ an animal lol. kind of. doesnt really care for animals.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

- losing people around him, especially his family/closest ones. actually lost his parents when he was 21, and he didnt take it well. it was hard time for him, didnt really have any time to mourn his parents. it was a touchy subject for him many years, if asked about it, hed avoid the question or try to change the subject.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

- been thinking about giving him a tattoo, idk just what kind of yet.... other than that, i dont think he has any?? unique physical features.... missing tail lol.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

- ah, troublemaker. the only subjects he was good at were sports and home economics. only teacher who he respected was the school’s headmaster, mauno.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

- theo talks about him very softly or very hornily. two moods. lots of talking about his body. gsdfg. Talking about how kind and hard working he is! how beautiful he is inside and out and how he could get lost in his eyes forever. and how good he is in bed lool.

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?

- parents’ death. affected him for many years, but got over it/accepted it.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

- hehe, inexperienced. theo finds it very cute, and teases him a lot about it.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?

- started a street fight or smthn hfhfs. lil vandalism mby.....

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

- mmm, pro athlete......

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

- litreally few time loops, no big deal.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

- hm.... hes not rly artsy guy.. his sister plays drums tho, hes very encouraging of that!

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

- I think he’d be capable of killing. I mean, he’d have the strength for it. Wouldnt kill anyone tho nor would he enjoy it.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

- dinner date! either going out or make something special together.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?

- hmm, younger years, maybe a bar. nowdays, idk! mindlessly going out for a jog mby!

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

- anything his husband makes.

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

- somewhat. sudden/unexpected deaths especially. if he got to choose, hed choose something peaceful and/or something thats not painful.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

- nope!

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

- eating mouth open. people interrupting him, but i think he sometimes is quilty of this too.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

- cloudy and cold. enjoys cold weather more.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

- He has somewhat of a mean looking face. And he was this! He was a bit mean, bad boy during his teen years. Family life made him kinder.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

- hmm!!! i need to think of this, i dont think he has any rn, but i defo need to give him some.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

- Spent so so many years avoiding them. When his youngest sister was born (when he was ~19) he started to reconnect with his family. And after his parents died, and he was left with five siblings to take care of, they became the most important thing in his life. hed do anything for them and he was super protective of them.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

- ^ not being the “bad son” he was, and actually got to spent his younger years with his parents/family.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

- Around his friends he’s more outgoing and kind of rebellious. playfights with them a lot. Around his siblings hes caring, responsible and kind. around his husband hes all of this.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

- oh yknow. he has gone through it already.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

- used to hide them. still kind of does, but is more open with his husband and oldest younger sibling.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

- nuzzles him in bed. bites him a lot....

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?

- yes! very outgoing! and he is more of a leader type!

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

- his friends lusting after his husband gshdfhd. Used to get very jealous when hearing about happy families.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

- Maybe something involving his parents... them not being proud of him or smthn... Losing his family members. if these nightmare’s were to affect his mood, he’d be grumpier.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

- he did. he just. blurted it out, really straightforward. he was panicking and it was the last thing he wanted to say before losing the crush tm, so he did. ended up NOT losing him! yay!

#theo

[thehooliganhangoutspot]

You wouldn't believe how many label presidents I've heard say, 'Bruno doesn't have what it takes, we don't know how to market him, we don't know what kind of music he does.' You know, 'Who's this beige-looking kid with curly hair? We can't figure him out.' It was devastating. Bruno Mars, 2011 FROM THE ARCHIVES: Caught in Mars' orbit Caught in Mars' orbit The sky's the limit for this Grammy nominee and his cohorts. February 06, 2011|Matt Diehl In early September 2010, Bruno Mars found himself sitting in the posh lounge of North Hollywood's Larrabee Studios, a high-tech temple designed for creating pop-music smashes. Platinum discs from artists who've recorded there line Larrabee's walls, and in an adjoining room, renowned mix engineer Manny Marroquin rushed to complete the 25-year-old singer-songwriter-producer's debut album, "Doo-Wops & Hooligans," due out less than a month later. Marroquin's Midas touch is legendary, blessing hits for Alicia Keys, Rihanna and Usher, among others; in his short career, Mars' ability to create pop blockbusters is proving similarly gilded. At this point, Mars had already helped write and produce chart-toppers for artists such as B.o.B, Flo Rida, Cee Lo Green and Travie McCoy; as a solo artist, Mars' first single, the stirring ballad "Just the Way You Are," was midway through its chart ascent. By early October, that song would reach the No. 1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100, attaining triple-platinum status; "Doo-Wops" would also eventually crest at No. 3 in the U.S. and top charts internationally. But Mars didn't know this back in September: Despite the hit-making firepower backing him, he was nervous. His label, Elektra, was preparing to follow up "Just the Way You Are" with a soulful power-pop ditty called "Grenade," and Mars exuded anxiety about its reception: "What's 'Grenade' compared with 'Just the Way You Are'? I'm crossing my fingers, hoping people dig it." They did, demonstrated by Mars' seven Grammy nominations in 2011, second only to Eminem's 10. "Grenade" would also top the charts, making him the only male solo artist to do so with his first two singles. "Hearing Bruno on the radio for the first time is almost like discovering the pre-pubescent Michael Jackson," says McCoy, whose 2010 hit single "Billionaire" was a Mars collaboration. "Bruno is poised to be one of the next generation's greats," notes Green, whose Grammy-nominated hit "[Forget] You" was co-written and produced by Mars and his production team the Smeezingtons. "I'm feeling like a winner right now, sir -- I'm not going to lie!" Mars exclaimed in a recent phone interview between European tour stops. "But I'm still crossing my fingers about the Grammys. They stay crossed: I tend to overthink things. I'm not the guy who screams 'This is a world smash!' when I finish a song." The Grammy Awards take place next Sunday at Staples Center. Indeed, although "Just the Way You Are" was nominated for best pop vocal performance alongside John Mayer and Michael Jackson, Mars seems more excited by his collaborations. "I'm fortunate to work with guys like Cee Lo and B.o.B," he says. "'Nothin' on You' by B.o.B was the first song where I heard myself on the radio. I'd been trying my whole career to write a song like that, which incorporates live instruments with hip-hop and singing." And Green's 2006 hit as part of Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy," captured Mars' imagination: "It epitomized what I wanted to achieve: a song that would be played on pop stations, on hip-hop stations, on rock stations -- just because it was good." (At the 2011 Grammy Awards ceremony, Mars will perform with B.o.B and another crossover success of last year, Janelle Monae.) Mars' voice and production style -- blending classic soul, reggae-tinged grooves suggesting the Police and Sublime, OutKast's iconoclastic hip-hop and Sade's smooth internationalism -- have become pop radio's dominant sound. "Bruno's songs have no boundaries," says John Ivey, program director for the influential top-40 radio station, KIIS-FM. "No one in the past year has had hits as varied. When we first heard 'Just the Way You Are,' it was a little shocking. We'd assumed he was a hip-hop artist, and all of a sudden he's Billy Joel!" Born to a Puerto Rican father and Filipino mother (his birth name is Peter Hernandez), Mars grew up in Hawaii, playing in his family's cover band, the Love Notes. By age 4, he was performing onstage as "the world's youngest Elvis impersonator," and appeared in the film "Honeymoon in Vegas," where he sang "Can't Help Falling in Love." Mars attributes his unique sound to this multicultural upbringing. "Honolulu is a melting pot," he explains. "Melody is everywhere you go. Kids would come to school with guitars and ukuleles on their back, and we'd all jam at lunch." At age 18, he'd moved to L.A., quickly scoring a solo deal with Motown; within a couple years, however, that deal soured. "You wouldn't believe how many label presidents I've heard say, 'Bruno doesn't have what it takes, we don't know how to market him, we don't know what kind of music he does,' " Mars says. "You know, 'Who's this beige-looking kid with curly hair? We can't figure him out.' It was devastating." In L.A., Mars associated with future stars Ne-Yo, Kesha and Kanye West collaborator Jeff Bhasker (with whom Mars performed in a cover band called Sex Panther) as each waited for their big break. "Ne-Yo was one of the first people I saw write a song," Mars recalls. "He'd make something that sounded like a hit record within an hour -- I couldn't believe it. Kesha and I were signed to the same management; we'd call each other up and see what the other was working on, which was usually nothing." To keep his dreams afloat, by 2007 Mars had hooked up with two other young music-industry hopefuls: Philip Lawrence, a singer and songwriter, and sound engineer Ari Levine. "Bruno was a cool, normal dude, but even years ago, when he played his music, it was incredible -- a no-brainer,' " Levine recalls. Working out of Levine's LevCon Studios, set in a ramshackle cottage between a Laundromat and a medical mari- juana doctor on a seedy Hollywood side street, the trio honed their songwriting and production skills as a means of survival. "We worked long and hard in this little shack, hoping just to pay rent and have someone listen to our songs," Lawrence says. Calling themselves the Smeezingtons -- "We'd say a song was going to be a smash, which turned into a 'smeeze,' which turned into a 'smeezington,'" Mars clarifies -- the group developed its distinctive mode. "We're that weird middle ground, where there's live instruments but it's still rhythmic and pop," Levine says. "I'll listen to the Strokes or Black Keys, while Phil can sing any Motown song." "I'm the Nickelodeon version of DangerMouse," Mars adds. He says he's a fan of simple songs "that stand the test of time: 'Just the Way You Are' was inspired by songs like 'Wonderful Tonight' and 'Nothing Compares 2 U.' Writing for other artists helped me figure out that magic you have to capture to make everyone connect with a song." "Bruno is extremely talented, and not formulaic -- and that goes equally for all the Smeezingtons," notes Green (who says he was offered "Just the Way You Are" and holds other unreleased, single-quality gems from their sessions together). Undeniably, Mars' Grammy success represents an equal triumph for the Smeezingtons, nominated in the producer of the year category. The Smeezingtons began writing for the likes of Kn'aan, Matisyahu and Brandy, but their first big hit proved the hook for Flo Rida's "Right Round," catching the attention of Atlantic/Elektra's Senior Director of A&R Aaron Bay-Schuck. "Bruno came in with his guitar and it was love at first sight," Bay-Schuck says. "Among the songs he had were 'Billionaire' and 'Nothin' on You,' which sealed the deal." "Every song Bruno and his team had was a smash," adds John Janick, co-president of Elektra Records. "Immediately, we had to sign him. They were doing something different, creating their own sound." -- Making headlines The Smeezingtons' run continues beyond Mars' solo success: the group produced R&B singer Mike Posner's upcoming single, Flo Rida's current hit "Who's Dat Girl," and much of Koreatown pop group Far East Movement's recent debut album. The anonymity of Mars' studio work has been upended by his pop-star status and some headline-grabbing events, however: He recently took a plea deal on cocaine possession charges after an arrest in Las Vegas last September; coincidentally, he entered his guilty plea right as "Grenade" topped the charts. Although he declined to comment on the Vegas incident, he has quickly become aware of the trappings of celebrity. "I have to be a little more cautious about my surroundings," he says. "I'll be eating breakfast at a hotel, having just rolled out of bed -- without realizing people are filming me with flip cams and cellphones. In that way, life has changed, but that's not that bad. Everything I've ever wanted, I have right now." This past December, Mars, who still lives in L.A., headlined the Blaisdell Center, a 7,000-seat venue in his Honolulu hometown, and all that's happened came into perspective for him. "I'd done arena shows," he says, "but this was my first ticket that said 'Bruno Mars' at the top. The show sold out, but all I could think about was how close I came to giving up before 'Nothin on You' hit. I live for this. The best part is, it's just the beginning. I still have so much room to grow; I'm learning something new every day." According to KIIS-FM's Ivey, he does have it all: Mars' triple-threat status as a performer, songwriter and producer puts him into an elite echelon that appeals to Grammy voters. "Kanye West, Diddy, Prince, Jack White -- these are just music guys who can do it all, and really well," Ivey says. "I'm anxious to see where he goes: We need to hear more to determine what he is. But the sky's the limit in terms of potential. If this is the way he starts off -- man, there's no telling what this guy could be." "Bruno's still a work in progress," Green says. "Life isn't shaped as a pop song. He needs to go deeper, try harder, but that's his ambition: Soon he's going to win in that area, too, and be whole." -- [email protected] ............................................................................................................. In honor of Bruno's birthday, the LA times posted an old throwback article about Bruno from when he was just starting out. It's inspiring to see how far he's come despite the obstacles he's faced. I'm so proud of him. ❤️❤️❤️

#Link #submission

[rt1cnf]

BULLYING ON STUDENTS

BY: AYESSA M. GULA AND ROELLYN ESCOTO

12 HUMSS

When you mentioned bullying it is something that is very common towards teenagers and showbiz or famous figures. Bullying is an open-ended and willful misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behavior that intends to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over entirety or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening.

The DepEd or the Department of Education has commended Department Order No. 40 which systematized zero tolerance for violence against children and authorized the CPC in all public and private schools. It added information relating to the identity and personal circumstances of the bullies, the victims, or the witnesses shall be treated with utmost confidentiality by the Child Protection Committee (CP)C and the school personnel. The department also obtained the announcement of the Implementing Rules and Regulations of Republic Act 10627, or the Anti-Bullying Act of 2013, which requires schools to submit copies of these policies to the district offices.

"The Department also encourages learners who experience or witness bullying, abuse, or retaliation to speak up and report verified incidents to their peers, parents, teachers, and the appropriate authorities for proper intervention," DepEd said in a statement Friday.

One of the current bullying matters here in the Philippines was in Catanduanes when a 15 years old boy was being hit with a wood just because he refused to give the bullies his allowance already. He sustained a blood clot in the head aside from a fractured skull after he was mauled by older schoolmates in Bagamanoc Rural Development High School. He was unconscious when he was first rushed to the Bagamanoc rural health unit.  Another one is from one of the famous school in the Philippines which is in Ateneo. An athlete student beat up another student inside the comfort room, he never stopped the beating even though there were students taking videos of him. Lastly, was here in Cebu, in a public school where a little boy was asked to give 1000 pesos per week and if he won’t give, they would beat him up until he bleeds.

“I am very sad about the report of the elementary student towards their Elementary principal. As the adviser of the one who bullied, I feel like I am responsible of the happening. It feels like I failed to guide him and discipline his attitude, it feels like I am a failure” Mr. AM said, a Night High School grade 10 adviser.

As for 2016, there is an increase rate of bullying not just here in the Philippines but all over the world. Rates of bullying vary across studies (from 9% to 98%). A meta-analysis of 80 studies analyzing bullying involvement rates (for both bullying others and being bullied) for 12-18 year old students reported a mean prevalence rate of 35% for traditional bullying involvement and 15% for cyberbullying involvement. 33% of students who reported being bullied at school indicated that they were bullied at least once or twice a month during the school year, a higher portion of female than of male students report being bullied at school (23% vs. 19%). In contrast, a higher percentage of male than of female students report being physically bullied (6% vs. 4%) and threatened with harm (5% vs. 3%). There must be a level continuity and frequency to the display of aggression. While available statistics vary in the Philippines, this much is certain according to studies: back in 2010, roughly 2.7 million students suffered bullying victimization each year with 160,000 choosing to miss school because of it.

When a person is bullied he, she will start to do things like like there would be changes in sleep patterns, changes in eating patterns, frequent tears or anger, he or she becomes withdrawn or starts stammering and would probably feels like he is always alone. He will become aggressive and unreasonable. He would refuse to talk about what is wrong, and would develop a phobia in facing people.

“Year 2013, my youngest daughter was being bullied here in one of the famous international school. I never knew it until someone reported me that she saw my child outside the school with wounds. I asked her but she never answered me properly, she just suddenly told me that she doesn’t want to go to school anymore” a teacher whose name should does not want to be told but let’s just call her Mdm. Desto, a former grade 6 adviser in a public school here in Cebu.

Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience the following which are Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood and he may also beat his wife or child.

People that would suffer bullying may develop psychological disorders and the most common of them is depression. A student may feel unwanted everywhere that he may start to feel that no one would protect or love him because of what he is suffering right now. This leads to suicidal thoughts and then suicide. We are encouraging people to stop bullying to end this chain which can end someone's life. In the Philippines in the Philippines a study that states that about 50 percent of Filipino students are bullied in school and they started to have the symptoms and signs of depression and one-fourth of their population decided to end their life.

“She really did suffer anxiety and panic attack, there is also a time that she would breath hardly when arriving her classroom” Madam Desto added

There is a recent news about the suicide because of bullying. Due to its sexuality  a 17-year-old Sophia Santos came out as bi in a Facebook post, classmates mocked  due to her appearance, sexuality, and gender identity, even telling Santos she should take her own life. She died on January 24, just months before her high school graduation.

“It’s been so hard to think and unbelievable, what happened to our family,” Czarine wrote on Facebook. “To all the students who bullied my sister because of her appearance and gender, may you all find peace of mind. You destroyed someone’s future. You destroyed a family… Words can kill a person.”

When a person is a bully he possessed these things like get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently, have unexplained extra money or new belongings, blame others for their problems, don’t accept responsibility for their actions, are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity.

“I was very angry when I knew that my grandchild bullies someone in school, I was so schocked because the one that he introduced me as a friend was actually the student that he bullied. He asked for the notebooks of his classmate, he won’t copy notes but he wanted to throw it in the toilet bowl.” Mrs. Melon said, a grandmother of the bully

“Teachers, students, and parents should cooperate in this situation if you wanted to stop bullying. It is also very important to have an open communication to it.” Sir AMsaid.

“I guess the proper thing to prevent bullying is to be matured enough in thinking your actions” J. E Ephraim, a University of Cebu grade 12 student said.

“Talk to their child always and have time to them make sure to give them proper guidance, I guess that is one of the best way to avoid that issue” Madam Desto answered.

DepEd Order No. 55, series 2013 (DO 55 s. 2013), or the “Implementing Rules and Regulations (IRR) of Republic Act No. 10627 (R.A. 10627) Otherwise Known as the Anti-Bullying Act of 2013,” on the other hand requires all public and private schools to submit a copy of their child protection or anti-bullying policy to the Division Office. The same shall be submitted to the Regional Director in addition to the requirements for an application for permit to operate and/or recognition as prescribed by the existing rules of the Department. Rule IV of DO 55 s. 2013 underscores that the bullying prevention program in schools shall be comprehensive and multifaceted, and shall involve all education stakeholders and personnel. Schools shall develop intervention strategies like counseling, life skills training, education and other activities that will enhance the psychological, emotional and psychosocial well-being of victims, bullies, and other parties who may be affected by the bullying incident. Private schools that fail to comply with the requirements of R.A. 10627 or of the IRR may face penalties under the law.The Department also encourages learners who experience or witness bullying, abuse, or retaliation to speak up and report verified incidents to their peers, parents, teachers, and the appropriate authorities for proper intervention. Any information relating to the identity and personal circumstances of the bully/ies, the victim/s, or the witness/es shall be treated with utmost confidentiality by the CPC and the school personnel.

Sources:

https://www.deped.gov.ph/2018/12/21/statement-on-prevention-of-bullying-in-public-and-private-schools/

https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/index.html

http://www.newnownext.com/filipino-teen-bisexual-suicide-bullying/02/2018/

https://www.change.org/p/philippine-government-anti-bullying

[jmlongworth78]

Dispersed Worship for March 22, 2020

Gathering Song:

Penitential Psalm:

Prayer of the Day (From Evangelical Lutheran Worship):

Bend your ear to our prayers, Lord Christ, and come among us. By your gracious life and death for us, bring light into the darkness of our hearts, and anoint us with your Spirit, for you live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

Amen.

Lessons:

First Reading: 1 Samuel 16:1-13

1The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul? I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and set out; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.” 2Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears of it, he will kill me.” And the Lord said, “Take a heifer with you, and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ 3Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; and you shall anoint for me the one whom I name to you.” 4Samuel did what the Lord commanded, and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling, and said, “Do you come peaceably?” 5He said, “Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord; sanctify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” And he sanctified Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.   6When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is now before the Lord.” 7But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 8Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. He said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” 9Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” 10Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen any of these.” 11Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all your sons here?” And he said, “There remains yet the youngest, but he is keeping the sheep.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him; for we will not sit down until he comes here.” 12He sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and had beautiful eyes, and was handsome. The Lord said, “Rise and anoint him; for this is the one.” 13Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward. Samuel then set out and went to Ramah.

Second Reading: Ephesians 5:8-14

8Once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light—9for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true. 10Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. 11Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what such people do secretly; 13but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,  “Sleeper, awake!   Rise from the dead,  and Christ will shine on you.”

Gospel: John 9:1-41 

1As [Jesus] walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him. 4We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. 5As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” 6When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man’s eyes, 7saying to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). Then he went and washed and came back able to see. 8The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar began to ask, “Is this not the man who used to sit and beg?” 9Some were saying, “It is he.” Others were saying, “No, but it is someone like him.” He kept saying, “I am the man.” 10But they kept asking him, “Then how were your eyes opened?” 11He answered, “The man called Jesus made mud, spread it on my eyes, and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ Then I went and washed and received my sight.” 12They said to him, “Where is he?” He said, “I do not know.”   13They brought to the Pharisees the man who had formerly been blind. 14Now it was a sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes. 15Then the Pharisees also began to ask him how he had received his sight. He said to them, “He put mud on my eyes. Then I washed, and now I see.” 16Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not observe the sabbath.” But others said, “How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs?” And they were divided. 17So they said again to the blind man, “What do you say about him? It was your eyes he opened.” He said, “He is a prophet.”   18The Jews did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they called the parents of the man who had received his sight 19and asked them, “Is this your son, who you say was born blind? How then does he now see?” 20His parents answered, “We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind; 21but we do not know how it is that now he sees, nor do we know who opened his eyes. Ask him; he is of age. He will speak for himself.” 22His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews had already agreed that anyone who confessed Jesus to be the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue. 23Therefore his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.”   24So for the second time they called the man who had been blind, and they said to him, “Give glory to God! We know that this man is a sinner.” 25He answered, “I do not know whether he is a sinner. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.” 26They said to him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?” 27He answered them, “I have told you already, and you would not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become his disciples?” 28Then they reviled him, saying, “You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses. 29We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where he comes from.” 30The man answered, “Here is an astonishing thing! You do not know where he comes from, and yet he opened my eyes. 31We know that God does not listen to sinners, but he does listen to one who worships him and obeys his will. 32Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a person born blind. 33If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” 34They answered him, “You were born entirely in sins, and are you trying to teach us?” And they drove him out.   35Jesus heard that they had driven him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” 36He answered, “And who is he, sir? Tell me, so that I may believe in him.” 37Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and the one speaking with you is he.” 38He said, “Lord, I believe.” And he worshiped him. 39Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment so that those who do not see may see, and those who do see may become blind.” 40Some of the Pharisees near him heard this and said to him, “Surely we are not blind, are we?” 41Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would not have sin. But now that you say, ‘We see,’ your sin remains.”

Listen to the Gospel & the Sermon (thanks to guest preacher Pastor Brian Case):

Hymn of the Day:

Prayers for Others

Offering, Please Click Here to Give via Paypal

Thanksgiving for the Word  

Let us pray.    

O God of justice and love, we give thanks to you that you illumine our way through life with the words of your Son. Give us the light we need, awaken us to the needs of others, and at the end bring all the world to your feast; through Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory forever.      Amen.

Lord’s Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven,      

hallowed be thy name,      

thy kingdom come,      

thy will be done,      

on earth as it is in heaven.      

Give us this day our daily bread;      

and forgive us our trespasses,      

as we forgive those who trespass against us;      

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.      

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Benediction

Now is the acceptable time.    

Now is the day of salvation.    

Holy God, speaking, spoken, and inspiring, ☩ bless you, unbind you,    

and send you in love and in peace.    Amen.      

Dismissal      

#Lent 4 #Online worship #Give thanks to God

[firstpresfp]

L.A.F. (Love Acceptance Fellowship) Tuesday Prayer Meeting, March 17, 2020

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit or ignore prophecies. Examine everything carefully. Hold fast to that which is good. Abstain from every form of evil.  I Thessalonians 5:16-22

The Call to Prayer from Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows. Surely God’s goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. The peace of Christ be with you all. And also with you.  Amen.

Recommended Hymns: Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us #187

I Sing the Almighty Power of God  #32

Be Thou My Vision #450

Rock of Ages #438

I Will Call Upon the Lord #621

Old Testament Scriptures

I Samuel 16:1- 13

David Anointed as King

16 The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul? I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and set out; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.” 2 Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears of it, he will kill me.” And the Lord said, “Take a heifer with you, and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ 3 Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; and you shall anoint for me the one whom I name to you.” 4 Samuel did what the Lord commanded, and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling, and said, “Do you come peaceably?” 5 He said, “Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord; sanctify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” And he sanctified Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.

6 When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is now before the Lord.”[a] 7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 8 Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. He said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” 9 Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” 10 Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen any of these.” 11 Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all your sons here?” And he said, “There remains yet the youngest, but he is keeping the sheep.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him; for we will not sit down until he comes here.” 12 He sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and had beautiful eyes, and was handsome. The Lord said, “Rise and anoint him; for this is the one.” 13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward. Samuel then set out and went to Ramah.

Psalm 23

The Divine Shepherd: A Psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 2    He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; 3    he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths    for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,    I fear no evil; for you are with me;    your rod and your staff—    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me    in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil;    my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me    all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord    my whole life long.

The Word of the Lord -- Thanks be to God.

New Testament Scriptures

Epistle: Ephesians 5: 8-14

8 For once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light— 9 for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true. 10 Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what such people do secretly; 13 but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14 for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

“Sleeper, awake!    Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Gospel: John 9: 1-41

A Man Born Blind Receives Sight

9 As he walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him. 4 We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” 6 When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man’s eyes, 7 saying to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). Then he went and washed and came back able to see. 8 The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar began to ask, “Is this not the man who used to sit and beg?” 9 Some were saying, “It is he.” Others were saying, “No, but it is someone like him.” He kept saying, “I am the man.” 10 But they kept asking him, “Then how were your eyes opened?” 11 He answered, “The man called Jesus made mud, spread it on my eyes, and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ Then I went and washed and received my sight.” 12 They said to him, “Where is he?” He said, “I do not know.”

The Pharisees Investigate the Healing

13 They brought to the Pharisees the man who had formerly been blind. 14 Now it was a sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes. 15 Then the Pharisees also began to ask him how he had received his sight. He said to them, “He put mud on my eyes. Then I washed, and now I see.” 16 Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not observe the sabbath.” But others said, “How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs?” And they were divided. 17 So they said again to the blind man, “What do you say about him? It was your eyes he opened.” He said, “He is a prophet.”

18 The Jews did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they called the parents of the man who had received his sight 19 and asked them, “Is this your son, who you say was born blind? How then does he now see?” 20 His parents answered, “We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind; 21 but we do not know how it is that now he sees, nor do we know who opened his eyes. Ask him; he is of age. He will speak for himself.” 22 His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews had already agreed that anyone who confessed Jesus to be the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue. 23 Therefore his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.”

24 So for the second time they called the man who had been blind, and they said to him, “Give glory to God! We know that this man is a sinner.” 25 He answered, “I do not know whether he is a sinner. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.” 26 They said to him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?” 27 He answered them, “I have told you already, and you would not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become his disciples?” 28 Then they reviled him, saying, “You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses. 29 We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where he comes from.” 30 The man answered, “Here is an astonishing thing! You do not know where he comes from, and yet he opened my eyes. 31 We know that God does not listen to sinners, but he does listen to one who worships him and obeys his will. 32 Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a person born blind. 33 If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” 34 They answered him, “You were born entirely in sins, and are you trying to teach us?” And they drove him out.

Spiritual Blindness

35 Jesus heard that they had driven him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” 36 He answered, “And who is he, sir? Tell me, so that I may believe in him.” 37 Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and the one speaking with you is he.” 38 He said, “Lord, I believe.” And he worshiped him. 39 Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment so that those who do not see may see, and those who do see may become blind.” 40 Some of the Pharisees near him heard this and said to him, “Surely we are not blind, are we?” 41 Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would not have sin. But now that you say, ‘We see,’ your sin remains.

The Word of the Lord -- Thanks be to God.

Take a minute to be silent and reflect.

Respond and share: What do you hear in these words of the Lord today? What strikes you? What speaks to you?

Prayer of Praise Shepherding God, You caused Your spirit to come in a mighty way upon David when he was a shepherd boy, when he killed the giant Goliath and when he was a king. You promise Your children Your comforting presence and direction. You sent Jesus as the light of the world to remove the scales from our eyes. We can see Your glory and grandeur and offer You praise and thanks.   In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.    

Share joys and concerns at this time. 

A Litany of Confession There are times when we feel that we wander in the darkness. May Christ give us holy light so that we awaken to God’s truth.  Open our eyes Lord so that we see You. Help us Lord to walk as children of Your light as we pursue what is good, right, and true.

Prayers of the People You are the Shepherd who leads Your people along still waters. You sent Jesus to be the lamb and the light to show us the way to live. As You lead us along paths of righteousness, give us the clarity of vision to discern the way we should go. Our spirits are eager to be faithful to Your ways. The problems that confront us impel us to act. Give us courage to fully enjoy Your goodness, mercy and grace and share it with all the world. Make us decisive and deliberate. Refresh us with Your Spirit and resolve all the sick and hurting needs we pray for. . . Incline Thine ear to us and grant us Thy peace as we pray together. . .  Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors, And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the Kingdom, and the power and the glory forever, Amen.

React: Hymns of Sending

Open My Eyes, That I May See  #451

Great is Thy Faithfulness #39

Renew Commitment

The Concluding Prayer of the Church especially for today --- and every day Go out into the world in peace. Have courage. Hold fast to what is good. Return to no one evil for evil. Strengthen the fainthearted. Support the weak. Help the suffering. Honor all persons and creation. Love and serve the Lord, rejoicing in the power of the Holy Spirit. And may the love of God, the Light of Christ, and the power and communion of the Holy Spirit be with us all.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! (Romans 12: 17-21)

This we pray through the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.