#like SOME mecha companies do

[satorena]

❛ UNPROFESSIONALISM ! ❜

⟡ content warnings. explicit content. foul language. ceo!satoru. secretary!reader. mentioned past flings. fondlīng. fīngerīng. afab!reader. p in v. unprotected. brēēding. squīrtīng. gojo satoru is his own damn warning. 4.9k.

⟡ serena's note. oh if y’all knew the lengths i went thru just to post this damn fic. . .

“ugh, this is such a painnn!”

“the sooner you finish your paperwork, the sooner you’re off, sir.” you sigh, arms crossed over your chest. you’re used to your boss’ childish antics by now, having worked side by side with him for nearly a year. you check the time on your watch, “work ended about half an hour ago— you might want to hurry up.”

“but y/n!” he drags out your name, voice all whiny and pitched in a telltale manner. he pushes himself off away from his desk, chair rolling back from the impact as he lolls his head back. “this shit is sooo lame. didn’t i hire nanamin to take care of the boring stuff? how come he isn’t here handling this god forsaken load of terrorizing agony?!”

you click your tongue, clutching tighter at the clipboard in your hold. you wonder if he’d been dropped on the head as a child, his lack of self-awareness so painful it makes you reconsider if the check at the end of the week is ever worth it. “he’s scheduled the week off to keep his wife and newborn in check. he signed off about a month ago.”

he snaps his head up so quickly, you’re positive he’s gotten whiplash. gojo blinks at you through big blue eyes and snowy lashes, a dumbfounded look on his face. he lifts his index to scratch at the corner of his lips, and cocks his head to the side, “ahh. . . ‘s that right? wait— nanamin’s a dad?!”

you feel the vein in your head inevitably tick.

“sir,” you let out an exhausted sigh, completely baffled by his ineptitude. he must purposely choose to do this to you, there’s simply no other explanation. “we attended his wife’s baby shower a few months ago—the one you mistook for a bachelor party and had me escorting the escorts back home.” you lift your pointer finger, brows cinched as the memory burns into your mind. he tilts his head to the side, affirming the idea of his cluelessness even more.

you raised a second finger, “we showed up to the hospital to congratulate them on their baby— and you got them that ridiculous cutout board of yourself that sings when you press on the—”

“the button on my dick, yeah!” gojo cackles as if it’s the funniest story ever, as if you hadn’t need to dump a bucket of water on the cutout figure to get it to shut up before he could get his company sued for emotional distress.

you huff, the stressful reminder of that unfortunate day having you anxiously tugging at the hem of your skirt, “yep. that’s the one.” between the baby’s obnoxious cries and exaggerated mecha-gojo moans, you’d rather not think about that encounter.

“and this whole time i figured she was his sister,” gojo snorts, wiping a faux tear from the corner of his eye. he sighs when his laughter dies down, and pulls him chair back into his desk. “man, his wife’s a babe. guess that explains why she looked at me all crazy when i called her fine the other day.”

“you sure that’s the only reason?” you mutter under your breath, the insult flowing off your tongue so naturally that you couldn’t help stopping it, even if you wanted to. that man was all kinds of deranged, his ego and head much bigger than it needed to be.

“ouch, that’s mean, doll.” gojo pouts, clutching at the material of his blazer above his heart. the back of his free hand lands on his forehead as he dramatically leans back into his seat. his eyelids shut tightly, “you’re wounding me. ‘m too young to die. i can’t go on like this— tell my mother i loved her. sign off my will for me, wouldya? make sure to terrorize nanamin some more. oh, and empty out all my search histories. wouldn’t wanna ruin my reputation. and get rid of my porn magazines beneath my bed. ‘ve got some pretty nasty stuff there. and check up on my kid every now and then. and—”

“alright, alright. i apologize.” you cut his rambling off before it spiralled into something far worse. there’s a full headache throbbing at your temple, your feet ache from your heels, and your stomach rumbles in hunger. you’re ready to go home now, but that won’t be possible unless your big man baby of a boss finishes up his task. “i’m sure you’ve a very suitable man. many would be grateful to have you. my apologies, sir.”

he peeks through an eye, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. his beaten-puppy look is quickly replaced by one you know far too well now— the look he gets after beating his rival company in terms of stock. the look he gets after successfully shitting on his higher ups. the look he gets after getting you to cum on his fingers after a long day— you’ve stroked his ego. “i’ve trained you well, princess. always flattering me, ohh, however did i get so lucky?”

whatever have you done to get so unlucky? “time’s ticking, sir. you can’t afford to pick up megumi late from practice again.”

“nanamin’s wife might be a babe, but you’re a gem, y’know?” your boss entirely ignores you, leaning his elbow onto the pile of work he’s now completely erased from his existence. he leans his cheek into his palm, fingertips tapping at the side of his head. “one helluva girl. i mean it— i really lucked out with ya.”

you cross your leg over the other, shifting your hips over the suede material of his couch. you recognize the sultry undertone to his voice, and your clear your throat, “is that so?”

gojo chuckles, flashing you all thirty two teeth, “i mean it’s not everyday you find a woman with your patience. god, you must be in love with me or something.”

you roll your eyes, despite the small smile that creeps up on your lips, “that’s certainly not why i stayed,” which wasn’t entirely true, but it’s not as if you haven’t inflated his ego enough today. “you may be a handful but your pockets sure are generous.”

“wouldn’t kill you to make a guy feel good about himself from time to time, ya know?” he fiddled the black pen between his fingers, twirling the object from knuckle to knuckle. he pauses when you don’t answer, noticing you noticing his finger movements. and so he proceeds with a smirk, “you’re always so tense all the time. . . tell me, when’s the last time you’ve been properly fucked?”

you nearly lose the grip on your clipboard at his audacity, the question throwing you off guard. though, you quickly keep composure— a fierce facade that’s always labelled you as the calm and collected kind. though, you’re doubtful it worked against your own boss.

“that’s an unprofessional question, sir.” you grit through teeth, nails scratching at the wooden back of your board. highly hypocritical of yourself, as you’re absolutely no better than he is— having already opened a window of no return that fateful night you accepted his invite to come inside his home.

“pretty sure we’re past unprofessionalism.” he pushes himself off of his desk, rising to his feet. your eyes trail his movements, from the index finger that hooks at his tie to loosen the knot, to the cock of his head to the side that has his hair bouncing, to the sound of expensive shoes clicking with every stride closer to you.

his presence can be oddly intimidating at times— you’ve noticed while working with him for a while. there’re moments like whenever he steps up on a podium in front of thousands of people, or when the elevator doors slide open and presents him to the building. despite his childish antics, he exudes an aura so enchanting that serves as reminder of that at the end of the day, he’s the boss.

you swallow, eyes following his lean figure until he stops right before you. it’s hard to read him in moments like these, when he’s so unlike himself (or maybe finally truly himself). his hands sit in the pockets of his slacks, legs parted enough to entrap your own legs between his, as he tilts his head forward. his irises darken behind tinted shades, bangs curtaining the raise of an eyebrow.

“unprofessional?” he repeats, and your eyes narrow at him, subconsciously gripping at your board tighter. it’s the only thing that you seem to have control over, since it clearly wouldn’t be this conversation. “you mean like that time i had you creamin’ all over my fingers in the back of my car? or unprofessional like that time you bent over my desk and came all over my face? or was it that night when i had to tie your hands together to keep you from runnin’ away?”

your gaze flickers away from his, the heat of embarrassment creeping from your neck all the way to your face. he wasn’t wrong— your relationship with him had passed morally ethical the moment you pulled him in closer to kiss you instead of pushing him away.

“we’re still at work.” you quip, the last bit of resolve tattering away the longer you feel his eyes on you. your roll your ankle nervously, thighs tightening against another.

“work ended half an hour ago sweetheart, remember?” he reminds you, voice as taunting as ever, and you sure as hell don’t need to see him to know he’s smirking. right side of his lips pulled with a moon crescent dimple on the side— he’s making fun of you. “forgettin’ already? can’t have my adorable secretary so overwhelmed that it’s meltin’ her brain. that should be my dick’s doing only, of course.”

you click your tongue, eyes casting back up to stare him dead in the eye. naturally, he’s already meeting your own, with the same damn smirk you’d predicted, “you have paperwork to finish, sir. better get on that quickly.”

“oh?” he laughs at your command, pulling his hands out of his pockets to rest at his hips. he runs his tongue against the top row of his teeth, and you hate the way your mind instantly travels back to days prior when you’d once had that same tongue working in and out of you.

he hums in faux thought, tapping his index against his chin. his lips fall into a pout before instantly stretching back to its default state, his infamous smile, “i suppose you’re right. come help me finish then, hmm? teamwork makes the dream work.”

you’re skeptical— you know him too well, but you’d rather divert the focus of attention from you to those papers. anything to prevent your mind from wandering off further into endless unprofessional possibilities. “lead the way, boss.”

he curtsies dramatically as you rise to your feet, stomping over to his desk. you notice he’s got shit done, and you’ll most likely be here for a minute. and so, you stand next to the chair he’d abandoned and pick up the pen, waiting for him to sit so you both could get started.

only you should’ve known you’d fallen right into his trap the minute you agreed to his ridiculous offer. you feel him pressed up behind you, lurking over your shoulder to study whatever you had going on. he’s unreasonably tall, frame so large it has you feeling frail in his presence, and his cologne so strong you feel it already clouding your judgement.

damn it all.

clicking your tongue, you tilt your head to the side to narrow your eyes, “well? are you not going to sit?”

gojo blinks at you, “how come? i enjoy the view here much better anyway.”

you roll your eyes, before turning back to his desk. he was a complete idiot if he thought you hadn’t already anticipated his next moves. the more your wrist flexes, mumbling the words you read on your sheets as you write them down, the more you felt him. you could feel the back of your thighs meeting the from of his, you could feel his bulge rubbing at your ass, you could feel his warm breath fanning at the slope of your neck.

damn it all.

“sales have risen to a—ahhn!” your pen falters in your grip, scribbling on the white sheet as it hits the desk. your eyelids shut close, teeth clamping down on your bottom lip as a warm mouth kisses at that sensitive spot behind your ear. your palm lays flat against the surface of the table, side by side with gojo’s, body tensing as his mouth trails down lower.

“oh you bastard,” you mutter, shaky hand attempting to grab the pen in an unsteady hold. his chuckle rumbles deep from his chest, and you feel the vibrations against your back. you’re determined to stand your ground, despite the urge to push your hips back into him. he may have soft lips and an annoyingly hot voice, but you would not falter— no matter the moisture of his breath sending shivers down your spine.

you think you have it set in stone, the pen in your hold— albeit unsteady— despite his large hand creeping up your thigh. every trail of his touch leaves an electrifying feeling, and you’re sure he’s noticed your trembling knees if the way he subtly slid his leg in between yours to keep you steady said anything.

it’s when you’re ready to scribble out your mistake to replace it that he decides to plunge his canines to your jugular. the moan that erupts from you is squeaky, your hand clutching tightly at the pen as your back arches into his chest from the painful pleasure.

gojo nibbles and sucks at your skin, running his tongue over the throbbing area to soothe the pain, fingers trailing closer to your now aching core. you’re positive your skirt has now hiked up with how much your hips are pushing back into his, head lolled forward.

“aweee, what’s the matter sweetheart? ‘s too much for you already?” gojo coos, sultry voice sending chills from the shell of your ear down to your core, finally slipping his hand inside of your skirt. his fingertips brush at your clothed clit, the material of your thong shamefully damp in arousal. you huff, nails scratching at his desktop when his index and middle finger rub painfully slow circles at your clit. “but we’ve barely done anything? tsk, can’t afford slowing the company down because you’re too distracted to focus.”

your thighs and arms threaten to give out, body heating with lust and desire. you want to say you hate this, that this is against your typical work ethics, to tell him to fuck off and do the work himself. but the focus on your pussy really has you melting puddle, bottom lip tugged on to suppress any louder sounds to escape.

“y-you’re the worst.” you complain, though it fades into another moan when he pushes his thigh up in between your legs. you’re internally thankful, because had this gone any further, you’re certain you would’ve sunken to the floor.

“love you too, pretty girl.” he presses a kiss at your jaw, fingers pushing past your panties. fuck any resolve you’d held onto— you chuck the pen far away, planting both palms down as you allowed him to take control. every rub of his fingers at your clit had you dripping down his thigh, to where your hips shifted and rolled down his leg, dragging out that blissful heat in your gut.

“givin’ up already? y’didn’t put much of a fight this time, can’t say i’m a disappointed.” his free hand grips at your thigh and trails up to your hips, resting at your flesh to guide you down his leg. he’s all too enthralled by your sensitivity, gaze zeroed in on your expressions— from the slackness at your jaw to the way your brows furrow.

“just h-hurry up already,” you grit, eyelashes fluttering as your eyelids lift. your gaze meets his instantly, and gulp at the hungry look in his eyes. his skin is already flushed pink, lips parted as he pants heavily. “you’re no—ngh, better than i am, dickhead.”

“well aren’t ya damn mouthy,” gojo acknowledged, though clearly unbothered, as his fingers pinch at that bundle of nerve. you gasp, cunt clenching as it leaks more of your essence down on him. your head drops back against his shoulder, the slope of your back curving as you grip onto the closest thing in your vicinity— the hem of his blazer. “hm, whatever happened to my obedient secretary? always so polite and respectful, don’t tell me i haven’t trained you enough?”

“m-maybe you haven’t,” you pant, chest heaving as you feel his fingertips teasing the entrance of your folds. they’re slow movements, applying just enough pressure to ignite the spark in your guts but not enough to leave you wanting more. “can’t even do your damn j-job right and you call yourself boss? hah, wonder if mister geto would have this issue— fuuuck!”

“low fuckin’ blow, sweets.” gojo chuckles darkly, now two fingers knuckle deep in your cunt. he wastes no time to plunge himself inside, knuckles rubbing at your velvety walls. you clamp down on his digits, desperate to keep him in for the sake of that orgasm you craved. “and here i was ready to put this pretty pussy in my mouth. you’re dickless for a few days and catch an attitude wimme? that’s cold, baby.”

“dickless?” you cock a brow, teeth gritting as you focus all your energy left on delivering your next line. he always got so cocky whenever he had a slight advantage. “a-according to who—ooh, god, shit!”

“ooh god, shit!” gojo mocks you, a third finger now joining the others. he scissors your cunt open, the slick of your arousal simplifying the slide in. you’re dripping down to his palm, so wet despite the front you’re putting up. he knows you love it whenever he angles his fingers at this angle, the one that has you knees weak and ready to fold. “face it sweets, i’m the only one who treats this pussy the way it deserves. see how well she responds to me?”

and you wish you could negate or deny him, but unfortunately, you both know he’s correct. he’s only got his fingers inside of you and you’re already at your limit. your hips eagerly chase his fingers whenever he pulls out just to thrust them back in, the pad of his thumb drawing infinity signs at your clit. your tongue feels heavy in your mouth, knot in your tummy tightening from the stimulation.

“nghhh, ‘m gonna cum,” your hand slides down the slope of his forearm till where his wrist begins. you claw at the bone, clutching and grabbing at him eagerly. damn him and his damned fingers— driving you to mush with all six inches. “more, hah, need more— gimme more!”

“manners, pretty baby.” gojo coos at your ear, despite upping his pace. his hands reach all the right spots, pussy desperate to hold out to his fingers as they fuck your cunt open, soaking the digits in your slick. “c’mon girl, what’s the magic word? i know you’ve got it in you.”

“p-please! pleasepleaseplease—” you’re cut off by your own gasp as the dam in your stomach finally breaks. you leak on his fingers, squirting your juices as your muscles convulse, walls entrapping him in. your back arches away from him and you grasp at anything in your reach, your mouth gaped. you’re cussing like a sailor, vision blacked out beneath your eye lids as your hips twitch and stutter against gojo’s ruthless pace.

your high washes down, as you lose feeling in your limbs, falling face down to the desk. your skin is moist with heat, mouth parted as drool coats the abandoned paperwork beneath you. your body twitches with oversensitivity, thighs quaking as your last few spurts spray all over gojo’s thigh.

“don’t tell me you’re all worn out from a little foreplay?” your boss teases, his free hand delivering a blow onto your ass cheek. it recoils as you jolt, snivelling like a baby. you hear the sound of his belt unbuckling, slacks falling next and pooling at his ankles. the next few moments happen in a blur, but sooner than you’d realized, you’d been turned onto your back with your legs propped over his shoulders and your folds were being played with again, the overstimulation having your toes curling in your heels.

“anddd there we go,” gojo strokes at his bricked cock, your essence serving as lube to coat his dick. he drags his fist from the base of his shaft to the tip, both your fluids and his pre cum mixture softening the jerk. “you fuckin’ water park. jeez, maybe i should plug this tiny cunt to prevent any further leakage, yeah?”

“fucking hurry already!” you don’t whine, or so you hope, though the grip of your legs at the back of his neck does tighten. with your skirt hiked up and your panties pushed to the side, gojo has a clear view of your twitching pussy, a hole designated intentionally just for him. he can already feel the cum in his balls ready to burst and fill your womb.

“and back to mouthy she goes,” he chuckles, using the leverage of his hand at his cock to slap his dick at your folds. the impact causes you to whimper, your hands clutching at the border of the desk. you wish you could wipe that smirk off his face, but fuck if the way he didn’t rub himself against you arouse you in ways that would surely haunt you after the orgasmic high faded away.

“take a deep breath for me baby, kay?” gojo instructs, thumb brushing over the skin above your hip bone, and before you’re able to retaliate, he slides in his dick.

his length is nothing to scoff at, and although you’ve already dealt with it in the past, all that prepping he’d done earlier seemed in vain. he bottoms out quickly, balls deep into you cunt. both your moans blend in harmony, overlapping one another as you settle with the aching stretch. your pussy clenches around his cock uncontrollably, both eager to push and pull him away.

“shittttt,” he whines throatily despite the huge grin on his lips. the flush pampering his skin has gotten significantly deeper, pale brows furrowed to the centre of his forehead. his hands grip at your plush thighs, fingers digging deep into your skin, surely enough to leave bruises. the bastard— he knew you’d be forced to wear your own slacks tomorrow to avoid suspicions.

“no fuckin’ way ‘m already set to bust— hah, fuck, what in the magical pussy is this?” gojo groans, snowy hair bouncing with his head thrown back. the tighter you grip at his cock, the tighter he grips at your thighs and the deeper his breaths are.

you push yourself up to your elbows, giggling at the irony of the situation. “already huh? so it wasn’t the liquor’s fault last time.” surely you were no better, entirely stimulated and body excreting all kinds of fluids from all over, but the ball was now in your court, and you planned on taking advantage. “s-should’ve known.”

naturally, he doesn’t rise to your bait, instead moving his hips away from yours, slowly dragging his cock out until the only part left in your cunt is his pink tip. “don’t make me make you eat your words, sweets.”

you raise your hand and rest it right above his pelvis, eyes set straight on his. you’re both clearly eager and ready to go, but you still had your dignity to uphold. you drag your palm upwards his torso, nails trailing up his button-up top teasingly before clutching at his tie. with the strength left in you, you yank him down and closer to you.

the shift in position stirs his dick in your cunt, knees now pressed closer to your chest. he hovers over you, a newfound look in his eyes you aren’t ready to divulge into—he was a very expressive man after all. both your lips ghosts one over another, breaths hot and mingling. you feel fuzzy, all senses fucked but collectively drawing at a same conclusion: wanting him to fuck your brains out on this desk.

“fuckin’ hell that was sexy.” it almost comes off a whisper, his tone breathless as his eyes bare deep into your. you feel the warmth of his hands fading away in favour to cup at your waist.

you tilt your head to the side, nose grazing against his. your fingers fiddle with the hem of his tie, despite never breaking the eye contact. “you gonna rock my world now?”

nothing more has to be said as he engulfs your mouth into his, knocking the wind out of you. his tongue explores the warm cave of your mouth, no inch left untouched. you moan and kiss him back just as eagerly, sliding the hand from his neck tie to his nape. your fingers thread through his soft locks, nails scratching his scalp and tugging at the roots.

he whimpers pathetically, the pain sending courses of arousal straight to his dick as his hips slam right back against yours. his thrust is rough and deep— leaving you gasping, as he takes the opportunity to kiss you even deeper while simultaneously working on his strokes.

the curve of his cock reaches even deeper than his fingers could manage, rubbing at your gummy walls and stretching them even wider. the sounds of your bodies connecting, your skins slapping, both your fluids mixing— everything felt so wanton, so filthy. he was everywhere, so far in your stomach you swear you could feel him in your throat.

the stretch of his cock at your pussy sent a fiery feeling spreading towards all of your limbs. the squelching of your pussy tightening and clenching at his dick filling the room. he soon picked up his pace, railing into you with every fibre in his body, loving the way your body bounced up in reaction to his thrusts.

“s-shit, oh fuck— don’t stop, ngh, right there!” you begged, throwing your head back against the hard surface. you’d given up on trying to keep your eyes open, the intensity of his dick ramming into your guts so fierce, you’d never felt anything like it.

he takes a sharp inhale of breath, followed by a whiny exhale. you were driving him insane, your sloppy cunt greedily clamping on his dick as if it were its lifeline. “suckin’ me in so tight, shitttt baby, ‘s like you want me to fill this perfect pussy full of my nut.” he dives his tongue deeper into your mouth for extra measure. you’re in a turmoil of multiple emotions at once but you kiss him back— until your lips feel tender and your mouth tastes of his breath.

he was annoyingly intoxicating, whether you wanted to admit it or not. your body spoke every word you were ashamed to say, responding with his own almost too perfectly.

when he slips his thumb to toy at your clit, your toes curl in your shoes and you’re accustomed to the oncoming feeling all too well, nails clawing at his skin. your words come out all fumbled mixed with tongue and drool, “s-satoru, i— ‘m gonna, don’t you stop— fuck ‘s too much— hnng!” you pull away just slightly, eyes all dazed as they roll to the back of your skull.

“shit, oh shit, me too,” he swipes at the drool dribbling past your mouth. from there, he plants more kisses at your skin, nibbling at every inch of you. he’s rutting like a madman, pace unforgiving as he focuses on that same spot that has you mindless. he finds you prettiest when you’re this way— all obedient for him. “my pretty girl— where do i— fuck, where—”

“inside.” as if you’d wanted to kill him, just as quick the word left your lips, he emptied his balls in your cunt. he sobs, his orgasm wracking over his entire body as he slams and fills your pussy full of him. the mixture of sounds is downright sinful, and whether it’d been the focus on your clit or his inhumane stamina, you soon met your similar end.

you cream on his dick once more, legs trembling as your second orgasm washes over you. your mind gone dumb, you do nothing but lay as you take the pounding inflicted on your worn out pussy. with each stroke you see stars, breasts juggling at the match of his pace. it’s damn near painful, but in the best enjoyable way. you feel yourself getting fuller by the second as you spray more of your arousal onto him.

the high eventually comes down for you both, the room reeking of sex. you’re both panting heavily, muscles twitching from overexertion. you couldn’t recall the last time you’d been fucked to the point of a momentary blackout— but you’d be damned if you’d ever let him know. he was too busy crying over your cunt anyways.

after a moment of silence, “. . .shit.”

“what?” you hum tiredly, rubbing the back of your hand to your tired hands. god, you could barely muster enough energy to do just that. what did this man eat?

he skips a few beats, before sheepishly chuckling, the hand that’d once been tracing patterns at the skin of your thighs now moving to your side. your gaze follows his movements, and it’s only when he retracts his hand does your heart sink to your chest.

“we definitely fucked these papers up.”

. . . shit.

io baby.. if you ever end up reading this i did it :c

#stargirl★rena. #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

I have the sudden epiphany for moar Friendship thoughts and like, the Boys™ (yes, March 7th is now part of the Boys™) having that spontaneous friend who just likes to burst in at least once a day while yelling (because they're very very excited) to show their bestie something or because they got their bestie something that reminded Friendo of them and they just had to get it for 'em.

A normal day for the Boys™ must always have at least one moment of Friendo just making one (1) loud entry (they got used to Friendo's weirdness and loudness) or else they just sense something is off about their day.

(Bonus food that the thing Friendo brought was friendship bracelets that they made for them. Because truly, I cannot imagine a world where friendship exists without friendship bracelets.)

You shall be named The Boys™ Anon :D

Since this wasn't hinted at as A/B/O I'm writing this without that in mind. I also left out Sampo cause I couldn't figure out what to write for him.

-------

Blade

Has pointed his sword at his friends loud entrances before because he was on edge so anything set him off. His friend never gets harmed though once he realizes who it is and they've gotten good at dodging any strike that comes their way so it's all good. He gets used to their nonsense so at this point he just does it to mess with them.

Kafka and Silver Wolf tease him regularly about how his friend is loud and friendly while he's quiet and brooding. He ignores them but he does worry sometimes because he knows he's not good company. But with their next loud entrance and having them hang off of him with some new trinket they thought reminded them of him his worries are put to rest, they aren't the type to lie to him anyways. If at any point his friend doesn't pop into his life like they usually do he's already on his way to find them no hesitation.

When they present him with a friendship bracelet he's actually touched and wants to make one himself for them but his hand gives him trouble halfway through the process. Once his friend figures out his desires they convert whatever he was able to make into a neat charm to carry with them where ever they go.

Jing Yuan

His friend is always bursting through the doors of his workplace just to tell him the latest news of their day. Before they used to be dragged or kicked out when he was just a cloud knight but now they can come and go as they please much to the annoyance of Fu Xuan. Yanqing thinks they're rather loud but kind so he doesn't fuss too much as they know when and where it's appropriate to be their bubbly self.

Jing Yuan honestly welcomes their loudness in his life it's comforting to hear them alive and well...loud. They at least know not to disturb him while he naps so he gets plenty of good sleep if they're around especially if they guard the door to let him nap. If his friend doesn't show up he won't immediately freak out but he will feel like something is missing so he texts them to check if they're alright before going to search for them himself.

If his friend gave him a friendship bracelet he'll do his best to make one in return. What better way to celebrate ones bond than with match accessories right?

Welt

He doesn't mind that his friend is weird or loud, though he does ask them to tone down the loudness before he develops a headache. He's also grateful he can ramble about animation and robots with them, he feels so young whenever he's with them. Is always intrigued by what new item they'll bring that reminded them of him and loses it when it's some rare mecha figurine for him to put together.

Does get worried if his friend doesn't come bug him like usual and will text or call them to ask if they're alright. If they don't respond he'll ask the other Astral Express crew members if they know where they are since it's likely they're a Nameless too.

When he's given a friendship bracelet he doesn't know what to do but he's grateful for it he's just never gotten one before. If his friend is willing he'll ask them to teach him how to make one for them too.

Luocha

Teases his friend by asking if they've missed him so much or if they're stalking him if he meets them on a foreign planet. He doesn't mind his friends loudness or weirdness, he's seen plenty of odd things on his travels across the universe so he's not exactly surprised. Does get a bit startled if his friend just bursts in whatever space he's in to share something they've seen with him, he's partially convinced they are stalking him how else would they have found him?

Appreciates whatever items they bring for him that remind them of him. It's sweet to be thought of so much and he finds himself doing the same thing while he's out and about. If for any reason he doesn't see his friend at least once per day he might brush it off as them being busy or because he simply didn't tell them where he was going but eventually he settles to text them to ask if they're alright. If he doesn't receive an answer he's calling and if he doesn't receive one he's heading their way if possible.

If he's given a friendship bracelet he gifts them something in return. It could be a friendship bracelet or a brooche he found on his travels, just something to remind them that he's there for them.

Dr. Ratio

Definitely throws chalk at his friend if they're being too loud while he's doing something important. They've burst into his class room a couple of times and though they've learned not to just burst in it doesn't stop them from visiting him to show him some cool new object they've found. He does like the stimulation of observing new objects but he does wish his friend would stop interrupting his lessons, the students appreciate however as it gives them time to write notes.

If his friend doesn't visit him he's curious but ultimately grateful for the peaceful moment. He does check up on them however if they don't show up to interrupt him as usual, he's got their exact moments they'll interrupt him down to the second. Will text and call his friend but if he gets no response he's tracking them down to get an explanation and it better be good for wasting his time.

Accepts the friendship bracelet with little issue and passes them something small he's crochet in exchange. The bracelet is a little clumsy but at least it matches his aesthetic and favorite colors.

Dan Heng

He's so tired he already has to deal with March and the Traiblazers nonsense on the daily how did he attract someone who's both weird and loud? He loves his friend of course he just misses having peace a quiet. But if his friend were to never show up one day he'd freak out texting, calling until they show themselves.

He's either touched or just plain confused by whatever items they bring him that remind them of him. Did this piece of sea glass really remind them of him? How nice. At least it's not some weird looking dragon plush, which he kept by the way.

He's touched to receive a friendship bracelets. He's read all about them and sort of unconsciously wanted one so he's really happy to receive one from his friend. Does some studies on how to make them on his own in order to make one for them.

Caelus

Doesn't mind his loud and weird friend bursting through the doors to come see him at all, in fact he might burst through doors to come see them as well. He loves seeing what little items they find to show him it's tons of fun for him and helps build his massive collection of items he has.

If his friend doesn't visit him like they normally do he'll be a little worried but wouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly but if they don't respond to his texts he's going to head there way ASAP. He just wants to make sure they're ok.

For him? Truly? He wants to cry and he might do so. He's never really had a friend of his own before until he met the other Nameless but to have one that think he's they're worthy of a friendship bracelet? He asks them to teach him how to make one for them right away.

March 7th

The loud friend so she has a rival in them. Takes at least one photo a day with her friend and the weird items they find to show her. Doesn't get how half the stuff reminds them of her but she keeps whatever they give her on a special shelf in her room. Her favorites are of course the stuff animals.

If she doesn't see her friend for a bit she's already texting them. Doesn't get too worried but with how crazy her life can get her mind might wander a bit before she's calling them to make sure they're alright. Asks everyone she knows if they've seen her friend before searching for them herself.

Made her friend a friendship phone strap but adores the friendship bracelet. The two spend an afternoon making matching phone straps and bracelets for each other.

Edited: 03/30/2024

#honkai star rail x reader #jing yuan x reader #blade x reader #welt x reader #luocha x reader #dr. ratio x reader #dan heng x reader #caelus x reader #march 7th x reader #edit: not my ass forgetting to finish Luocha's

[genshin-scenarios]

Hello! I’m not sure if you write for Freminet, but can I request something like,

how about Freminet with (gn or fem?) reader who is introverted/shy like him, and is uncomfortable with/doesn’t like kisses because of... whatever reason, really - or none !!

Uh, or any of the Fontaine siblings are nice…! Please don’t feel bothered to write this though. I wish you a lovely day!! :)

(I’m so sorry if this is lengthy and I hope this was okay/didn’t cross any boundaries!!! I’ve just read a ton of fics where they involve kissing and I think other gestures are sweet too! Like holding your hands on a cold day, or doing little things to show affection… etc!)

Alternate shows of affection (Freminet x GN!Reader)

A/N: Your request is fine, dw!! And I hope you'll like these! 🥹

On quiet days where both of you are lazing around indoors, Freminet's voice can be heard drifting out of his room, with you laying against his lap as you let his reading lull you to sleep.

It's soothing, and you can imagine the stories playing out in your mind as you shut your eyes. Freminet wears a little smile and continues reading even after you've fallen asleep, though his mind drifts to thoughts of what you'd be like as a character in a fairytale.

…Would that make him a prince of some sort? Just the thought is making him nervous — maybe he can just be a humble villager instead, or a less-stressful role.

He remembers the way your eyes lit up when he told you about his interests. He was honestly so relieved that you didn't think they were childish or odd, seeing as it felt like he was sharing a piece of himself with you.

And now, people can see clearly that Freminet's more lively around you, more willing to hold onto your shoulders as he gets excited or asking if you're free to look at something he's found.

After all, you're his safe place. He feels the same kind of solace as when he's at the bottom of the ocean, within a world that takes the weight off his shoulders and lets him swim like a dancer.

He can't help but wish to show you the same sights he's fallen in love with. If nothing else, Freminet wants to offer you his thoughtfulness. He can't drive away a storm with his weapon and bravado, but Freminet is more than able to pull you out of the thunder’s way and retreat to a safe spot.

It's less scary together, after all. And when he's not able to be present, Freminet likes to gift you clockwork mechas he's tinkered with for company or as a means of contact. The most recent addition was a music box shaped like a conch shell, which played a song you'd been humming during your last hangout.

Freminet shows his appreciation for you through acts and gifts that he crafts or finds by his own hand — and really, the biggest gift is seeing the sparkle in his eyes as he calls your name. A sight that's only ever caused by you.

#genshin x reader #genshin reader insert #freminet x reader #freminet x you #genshin freminet #genshin writing #genshin impact imagines #genshin x you #genshin headcanons #traveler wishes #back to posting we go! #happy (belated) new year everyone!!

[lets-try-some-writing]

feral orion pax.... got anything?

I've always got more feral Orion Pax! I wouldn't be a fan if I didn't.

The Wildling of the Archives

When Ratchet was young he met Orion Pax while searching for a medical text. It was a simple meeting and he found himself enjoying the company of the well mannered and soft spoken student of the master archivist. During the vorns they spent developing their friendship, Ratchet developed a very specific view of his friend, one that was so deeply engrained into his mind that when Orion finally felt comfortable enough to show some of his more wild traits, it took Ratchet by complete and total surprise.

It started small of course. Orion began simply by showing off his fanged denta more often, a sign of trust since most shied away in fear when he smiled. Ratchet raised a brow but said nothing in regards to Orion's denta. He had seen far more interesting mutations and modifications in the medical ward. A fanged set of denta was nothing to him.

Then when Orion grew more comfortable he also started wrapping his field around Ratchet's, albeit hesitantly at first. That set off a few alarm bells for Ratchet but he once again didn't make a comment on it since Orion never smothered him in his field or tried anything sketchy. To Ratchet it seemed like a greeting and defensive gesture and so he allowed it to be without issue. Of course when Orion began quietly allowing bits of emotion to flow through and into his field Ratchet began to reconsider his stance on remaining silent. But as Ratchet observed and saw that the emotions were all soothing and protective in nature he opted to continue to allow Orion to do as he wished. It was odd having another constantly wrap him up in their field as if he were a glass doll, especially in Iacon where every mech kept their fields tucked as close as possible. But Ratchet had heard tales of places where such behavior was normal and so thinking Orion must have come from such a location on Cybertron, he began returning the gesture.

The first time he allowed his field to tentatively reach out to Orion's, the archivist's optics blew wide and he nearly dropped what he was holding to stare in awe. The surprise didn't last for long as a huge smile soon spread across Orion's face which was quickly followed by his field intermingling with Ratchet's happily. It was rather overwhelming and Ratchet pulled his field back, wrapping it as close to his protoform as he could while he dealt with the string of emotions that came from Orion's end. And while Orion looked apologetic and somewhat put off by his harsh retreat, the archivist never took the moment to spark and life continued as always, with Ratchet sometimes allowing his field to brush across and mingle with Orion's when he was feeling confident.

On such occasions Orion never ceased to smile in joy, his whole frame puffed up in pride as if he had just won something. Ratchet did not understand at all but as usual didn't comment on the increasing oddity that was Orion Pax... right up until Orion went nuts when a mech began harassing him.

Ratchet had always been told he was pretty, by his peers, his friends, and even by Orion on occasion. But the mech before him was taking it too far, probing and getting in his personal space in such a way that Ratchet wanted to purge. Throughout most of the interaction Orion had been civil, watching and glaring at the mech, his ever so slightly clawed digits curled up in a fist but otherwise not acting. But when the mech got close enough for his field to touch where Orion's wrapped around Ratchet like a shield, revealing all the mech's perverted intentions, all hell broke loose. Before the mech could react Orion screeched with enough volume and intensity to cause the nearby mecha to pause and stare in horror as Orion punched the mech clean in the face. He didn't stop there and clambered all over the mech, digging his claws into exposed seams and biting down on any piece of plating he could connect to.

It was the most terrifying deviation from the normal, kind, and calm archivist that Ratchet knew, so much so that he fell back to the ground in shock as his friend tore into the mech. Orion only stopped when Ratchet regained his senses enough to tear Orion off the mech even as Orion hissed and flailed, eager to get back into the one sided beatdown he was engaging in. Even when he finally calmed enough to disengage, Orion clung to him, his plating flared and growling at any mecha who came near, even officers who came to investigate. Ratchet was contemplating trying to knock his friend out or even make a run for it when Alpha Trion turned up, scruffed Orion, and dealt with the situation.

Orion was kept away from everyone for a few days afterward and when he did meet with Ratchet... it was awkward until Ratchet just asked the question that had been eating at him.

Ratchet: What in the pits was that?!

Orion: It was... a reaction from my base coding

Ratchet: Your base coding is still active?

Orion: Yes, and when I get... attached to other mecha, it tends to act up more often around them. My apologies.

Ratchet was dumbstruck by the revelation. Never once did he imagine that his kind and quiet archivist had active base coding. Not only that, but the fact that it was active had worrying implications. After all, the only way base coding remains active in fully developed mecha is due to extreme stress or exposure to another with active codes. And since Ratchet was 99% sure no one else in the archives had active base codes, he held Orion close after the revelation and treated him with all the care in the world as he dug around looking for who might have hurt his dear friend.

Orion didn't notice Ratchet's efforts and just seemed oh so pleased with Ratchet's affection that he was completely unaware as Ratchet rooted out the entire archive. He dug around in staff records, scanned through security footage, looked for anything suspicious, and even did some basic questioning. He also may or may not have given Jazz a handful of shanix to get him files on individuals that he found to possibly be involved somehow. But eventually Alpha Trion stepped in and let Ratchet know that "No, Orion was not abused. He just came from the wilds" once again leaving Ratchet dumbstruck. He had been so certain he was dealing with an abuse case that he overlooked another possible answer.

He felt like an idiot and did not reveal the fact he had gone rooting through everyone Orion had ever interacted with. He still couldn't bring himself to stop giving Orion affection even after he was made aware of Orion's situation. However even with everything cleared up and Orion's behavior being given a viable cause, Ratchet still did not expect to find a dead mech-animal on his workstation around a half vorn after Orion's tussle with the mech who had bothered him. This he did comment on and told Orion quite firmly that "no, dead mech-animals are not proper presents for civilized mecha, but thank you all the same".

Orion sheepishly nodded at being told as such and didn't bring Ratchet anything of that variety again. But the medic in training often found small shiny things on his workstation instead. Once he even found what looked to be an optic, earning an innocent shrug from Orion when Ratchet brought it to him in horror. And while Ratchet did get rid of the optic, he kept everything else Orion gave him in a small and methodically organized container. He made sure to write the date of when he received each gift and kept everything clean and well maintained. Of course if anyone commented on his box of trinkets from his friend, they received a seething glare and promptly left the topic alone.

By the time Orion began preparing to go and perform politically and meet Megatronus, Ratchet had grown used to Orion's behavior and even welcomed it. He pretended to not see the subtle scratches Orion left on his plating after their meetings, a sign that he knew to be a claim of sorts. He did not object to Orion playing the role of a protector when they went out and even found it calming to have Orion stand tall, plating firm and slightly flared as he glared at passers by. He especially found it nice to not have to deal with unwanted mecha as Orion would make his claim explicitly clear by wrapping his arms around Ratchet and growling lowly. It usually got the point across, sometimes even causing misunderstandings in regards to their relationship. But in the odd event that Orion's behavior didn't warn off an offender... well, Orion had more than a few charges of assault tacked onto his record.

Ratchet was surprised to see his archivist so possessive and wild when he allowed himself to relax, but he enjoyed the company of Orion all the same.

#maccadam #transformers #transformers prime #ratchet #orion pax #feral orion pax #my boy would kill for ratchet and we all know it #even as optimus he still would gladly end anyone who touches HIS medic #obviously ratchet belongs to him #look at all the scratches

[tis-the-marmot]

🚨 OPENING EMERGENCY ART COMMISSIONS! 🚨

Editing this and resharing because of some life updates

When I first opened my commissions I talked about the tough situation we were in, including my uncle and his serious health conditions.

It's extremely painful for me to say this but my uncle died just a few hours before writing this. I'm absolutely shattered, he was one of the closest family members I had and I can't even describe the emptiness I feel inside right now but I'm not here to talk about my grief, because dealing with it IRL is already hard enough as it is.

I'm here because my uncle's death also means my grandma just lost another one of her children and is now completely alone

We live in another country thousands and thousands kilometres away from her and it kills us to know we can't be by her side as she's grieving. That's why we'd like to visit my grandma during Christmas time, so she can have some company at least for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately plane tickets are much more expensive during holiday season, especially with such short notice so...yeah.

I'm almost ashamed to ask for this, but please consider commissioning me or sharing the post if you can. It would help a lot.

I'm also changing the number of slots from 3 to 6 but work will be a little slower, please be understanding about it if you plan on commissioning me

Prices and details are shown in the pics and down here 👇👇

● Lineart only

• Bust - 4€

• Half-body - 8€

• Full-body - 12€

● Flat colour

• Bust - 10€

• Half-body - 15€

• Full-body - 20€

● Shading

• Bust - 16€

• Half-body - 22€

• Full-body - 28€

◇ Due to time limitations I will only do simple, flat colour or blurred backgrounds for free

◇ Each additional character costs +50% of base price

◇ I will try and draw anything as best as I can EXCEPT for:

- Complex mecha, armor, animals, monsters and poses

- Explicit NSFW

- Hate art of any kind

- Anything I might be uncomfortable with

◇ Full payment is made upfront via Paypal. I will only start your commission after I receive the payment

◇ I will keep you updated about the state of your commissioned drawing periodically

◇ If you want to cancel your commission before it's finished for any reason, you will get a full refund only if my work is below 50% of its total progress

If you're interested you can DM me on:

Instagram: tisthemarmot

Tumblr: tis-the-marmot

Discord: tisthemarmot

#commissions #art commissions #emergency commissions #open commissions #art #digital art #drawing #artist

[inconspicious-random-thoughts]

Assuming the "mass hypnosis" theory doesn't play out, I have my own theory on how the Vees will try to take over Hell, or at least Pentagram City. Angelic steel made weapons have been presented as the strongest and most powerful weapons in the Hellaverse, and we know that Vox runs a company that's always making technological breakthroughs. Maybe Vox will salvage what little bit of the steel he can find and build an army of angelic drones/warbots. He can either use these machines to wage war on the other Overlords or sell them to gangs and crime lords throughout the city to cause chaos for the Overlords in his stead that he can use to further the common demon's dependence on the Vees resources. Plus, I just KNOW that he'd make an angelic superweapon specifically to kill Alastor (maybe his own holy mech suit with a battle axe like the one Adam used just to rub salt in the wound).

It's a little bit of an over-the-top theory, but I think the possibility is there.

Also, if you get tired of me sending you my theories and questions nonstop, just tell me you're tired of me and I'll give you breathing room.

Greetings.

I'm not tired of them at all. Quite the contrary. I'm more merely bewildered to be approached by them is all. But I in fact, quite enjoy the topics of discussions. It also brought somethings to my attention I haven't stop to considered before. I enjoy your thoughts and theories as well.

For those reading and unaware this is a follow up question from :

I think Vox creating a mecha would be hilarious. I don't think it will happen, but I can also see when everything else fails, Vox will use it as a trump card and it be so over the top that it just comical. For whatever reason, it gets destroyed quickly. Funnier if the Vees were "blasted off agaiiiiin" like team rocket.

But your idea of combining Angelitic steel to Vox machines is not far fetched at all and not something I thought of. In fact, it was already hinted at in the show.

Vox at the time was pretty much making shit up in front of paparazzi but I think he general pulls all nighters to solve the design/program on whatever product he promise and make them actually happen. He promised Angelic security to his consumers. He already figured out that he needed the angelic steel for it because he quickly demanded to his assist to cancel all meetings of the day but get Carmine on the books.

So, I assume he did actually have that meeting and bought a bulk of steel from her already. He has the material already since after episode 2....which is roughly 6 months Vox got to experiment with before extermination day.

Now, he was making defense system, but as the saying go, a best defence is a good offence. He can easily tweak his products and redesign them to be more oppressive offensive task force he can control. Or even more sinister, have his consumer buy the defense system but have them turn around against them once they solde enough.

Carmilla probably be beyond piss that her steel supply is used for to oppress and also against her as well. She may be a overlord but she vibing she actually cares the state of Hell and the city. The balance and order of things. She's a true uncorrupted politician.

Even if Voxtech Angelic warmachines doesnt come into fruition, I have no doubt that Vox does not carry an angelic blade or gun with the angelic bullets as a precaution. Especially after witnessing Alastor defeat and that alone would put ideas in his head about being able be to similarly wound Alasor himself.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel theory #alastor the radio demon #hazbin theory #hazbin thoughts #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin vees #hazbin hotel vees #the vees #voxtekoverlord #vox hazbin hotel #vox the tv demon #voxtech

[otakween]

Digimon Frontier - Episode 5

Not gonna lie...this episode was kinda a snore fest lol. Just pretty forgettable all around. Oh well, at least we have all of the spirit evolutions now!

Notes:

I'm enjoying exploring a different digimon village every episode, it gives some of the background digimon time to shine. The Kokuwamon were cute and it was funny seeing baby Kokuwamon (still don't know how THAT works).

It seemed like they were going for a bug theme with the Kokuwamon, Minomon, and Snimon but then they stuck Goburimon in there too and it kinda threw things off? The Digimon franchise seems to slot in Goburimon when they need generic henchmen.

The Minomon had such cute voices in the sub but they were grating as heck in the dub. Funny seeing them play an antagonistic role.

This episode had a weird meta joke where they cut to a Kokuwamon saying "that's how it is" and the characters were like "that's how what is? You didn't explain anything" lol. It caught me off guard.

I get why they do it, but I was kinda sad when they did a split screen for 3 spirit digivolutions. It doesn't hit the same when everything's cropped and tiny.

Speaking of digivolution sequences, Junpei's was kind of disappointing. He does it with his back facing the camera for some reason? Tomoki's is still my fave for now.

Blitzmon's design is pretty similar to Agnimon's, just a jumble of colors and textures. I think this is just me not giving a hoot about mecha mostly. How am I supposed to connect with a robot whose face I can barely make out? His color scheme is nice I suppose.

When Junpei was fighting he suddenly pulled out some super sentai-like catchphrases outta nowhere. I thought they would have made a joke about him acting like a hero but it was played seriously -shrug-

The plot line of this episode felt very Japanese. The Kokuwamon are basically working for a black company with no bonuses/vacation/overtime pay lol. Poor things.

#digimon frontier #digimon #anime

[therobotmonster]

My Retro-Cartoon Ramblings, Part 7

STILL MORE ANIMALS!

As a kid who was gettin' up to watch Beast Wars, I got used to getting a dose of the weirdest attempt to sell plastic mecha-cat model kits in human history, repackaged into a work of comedic redubbing art.

I may be overselling it a little, but Samurai Pizza Cats does not give two whits about the original its based on and focuses on being funny, being essentially a series-long What's Up Tiger Lilly with animal-robot-samurai restaurateurs.

The whole thing feels like someone watched another, real show, and was a huge fan of it, and then told someone else all about it over a weekend, and that person went on to make this approximation of that description.

Of all the cartoons I've been accused of having dreamed, this is the one I had pegged. "this cat gets down-down with a mild hangover?"

This isn't a real show.

This is very clearly a fox, but we believed he was a rat! By gawd! The calls are coming from inside the mouse!

Originally requested by @siphersaysstuff, here's the Get-Along-Gang.

See, in the world of battle animals, there's bound to be some narcs. And those narcs are these representatives of the saccharine council.

Going wholly on memory on this, I do not owe these things journalistic integrity. A greeting card company spawned a licensing empire around anodyne vaguely-anthro animal children who learn wholesomely in very easily parodied ways.

What? I just described the Shirt Tales? What?!?

If I had a nickel for every time that happened... well, you know the rest of the meme. I remember these from childhood. They were just not-playing-outside-in-Oklahoma-heat-good enough, but either I was too old or they were to treacle-y.

I recall being rather easily entertained by the Snorks, however, so I wouldn't give either set of overly pro-social anthro-creeps the benefit of the doubt.

I do vaguely remember that an arcade machine tried to eat the Shirt Tales... or was it the Get-Along-Gang? Gah!

#shirt tales #get along gang #samurai pizza cats #my cartoon ramblings #80s cartoons #nostalgia #saturday morning cartoons #toyetic #Youtube

[witchofthesouls]

Ahhh, could write some more Blueberry shenanigans? My heart melts everytime you write about the cutie bitty <3333

(I love my Blueberry baby and their terrible father.)

Blueberry is possibly the happiest Cybertronian (ehhh, techno-organic) you've ever met. The sheer amount of joy they produce is a force to be reckoned with and could most likely fuel a half-dead Titan if such energy could be converted for power.

Also, a complete mystery considering the fact that Prowl sired Blueberry. Prowl, the former SIC of the Autobots. Prowl, the mech who managed to get mechs to self-terminate by reciting the entirety of the Autobot code in the most painfully dry manner as possible. Prowl, the mech without any vid clips of smiling, let alone happiness. Most assume that he deleted his own emotional sub-routines and that’s what makes his rage far more potent.

If Blueberry didn’t look so much like Prowl, especially with that tiny scowl trying to fight off nap times, then there would be rumors that another spike was involved in their creation. 

So many mecha go through a rollercoaster’s worth of emotions just watching you tickle Blueberry’s tummy and seeing the wee sparkling scream in absolute delight. Like is that how Prowl looks when in carefree happiness? Is anyone brave (or incredibly stupid to risk life and limb) enough to try to tickle that ornery prick?

While it's really obvious that newsparks and sparklings would be around their creators, it still scrambles mechas' logic-circuits that someone would leave Prowl in charge of such a vulnerable, helpless being. And the level of mindfuckery that said vulnerable, helpless being loves Prowl's company.

It's already mind-blowing that someone let Prowl between their legs consistently enough to sire a bitlet the old-fashioned way.

And the result is the cutest little flapper. Giggling and burbling in the mesh netting between Prowl's doorwings. Blueberry gets ecstatic whenever mecha around includes them, fledging field burst to the edges of Prowl’s, so-

It leads to a competition between mecha to see who can make the bitty squeak the most with a funny face. 

Prowl’s office gets more traffic because so many actually doubt the bit’s existence. Is it a mini? A drone? A new weapon? It can't be a newspark!

The department reaches new levels of productivity because Prowl leverages everyone’s need to gawp at his kid since every day is a take-your-child-to-work day if the usual and very short list of babysitters isn’t available. Either they have relevant work or to get out because he has other business to oversee.

Since humans don’t have the nifty ability to control their own electromagnetic pulses, you utilize fragrances and scents to your advantage. You do your laundry in a specific detergent that’s easy to make on your own time if necessary, use sprays and perfumes similar enough to the moisturizer for your skincare (Cybertron is a hellishly dry atmosphere.), and leave your office blanket in their play-pen.

You think it’s working but it’s hard to tell if bitty is excited to play peek-a-boo and smack more colored paint on it, or if they did develop a positive association between objects and scent.

Because naps are the baby’s nemesis, if the sparkling starts getting upset since they refuse to sleep, you pick them up and cradle their head to your neck and shoulder. Usually, they soothe into a reluctant doze after ten minutes of consistent little circles between their wingnubs. But when they stand in firm defiance against sleep you bring out the big guns-

Because the administration buildings are connected and stretch out for miles and miles, there’s a continuously running tram that circles everything. It becomes a relatively common sight to see you with a bundle on the tram. Blueberry is swaddled completely in the office blanket and huffing in slow defeat into a dread nap from being cozy and warm, surrounded by carrier, and the constant motion.

Prowl doesn’t have that particular issue. All he needs to do is flit his panels and the bouncing will knock out Blueberry’s growing fussiness. He needs to be careful about extracting Blueberry to place them in his own donut to nap and locks his office to leave them undisturbed because mecha tend to have a reaction seeing mini-Prowl in the plush glazed donut on his desk and cuddling a smaller donut.

Because Blueberry is developing infamy for being the first sparkling after the Great War and attached to Prowl, you became far more sarcastic or have a smart-ass response to the same question, over and over: Are you really the carrier?

Top hits include:

"Ah, you caught me, it's actually Prowl's. That's why he disappeared for a while."

"Unfortunately, my boobs are fully functional compared to Prowl's."

"I know. Such a shame. I question if they're truly mine."

"I'm just the beard in this relationship."

#ask #transformers #transformers idw #idw #mtmte #prowl #reader insert #bitlets #sparklings #cybertronian biology #cybertronian culture #maccadam #my writing #love your blueberry baby

[l-crimson-l]

I'd love to get into girlpla, I'm just a bit too broke to afford any kits; however, if you'd like to talk about it as a whole, I'd be more than happy to hear.

So…let me try this again. I had a whole nice post written up and I swapped off for a moment to check something and I completely lost the post.

Mecha Musume has a pretty long history that I’m not going to go into but here’s a little video if you’re interested.

Now when most people think of Mecha Musume there’s basically one standout line above them all: Frame Arms Girl.

This line is a bit old now but its popularity has set the aesthetic style for the market as it stands now. The build of these are…ok. Kotobukiya was definitely learning with these kits but they’re still solid at the end of it.

Now if you’re like me you’re not too much a fan of the pantsu out look, and other kits in the line don’t exactly do anything to mitigate that feeling (looking at you Durga I).

The next line Koto would release would be better at this tho. The Megami Device line features all original designs as well as collabs from new and old mecha musume brands alike.

First thing off the bat this is that they’re pricey. At an average cost of $70 you’re basically buying a Bandai MG gunpla. That said, they all typically come with a bunch of option parts. These are usually in the form of unarmored limbs, different chest pieces, face plates (with water slides to make your own) and extra connectors to help with kitbashing. Koto also has released option body segments to let you swap any part of the body you might want to if the right option isn’t available in the box (~$12). It should be noted the newest kits in this line have brought the price down to $50 as well as reengineered the build to add a lot more articulation and pose-ability.

Also in this lines favor is the articulation and build quality. You’re going to get a nice range of motion with or without armor and some of the smaller details also sometimes come pre painted.

That said Kotobukiya is a company that favors more complex character design over an Out Of Box experience so there’s some smaller details that are etched into the kit but unless your paints them won’t be color correct. I would say this is pretty common across most Koto lines.

Both the FAgirls and Megami Device are scaled at 1/12 so Little Armory guns and the whole market of 3rd party accessories will work with these kits.

Next up is Koto’s Sousai Shoujo Teien which is simple girls as plastic models

A little cheaper and at 1/10 scale instead of 1/12. I’ve not built any but I do know they can bash with Megami Device and Hexa Gear lines just fine. If you take a peek at the JP girpla community there’s actually a niche but healthy group dedicated to taking nice photos of their kits dressed up in everyday scenarios.

Finally the newest line of Koto girl kits is the Arcanadea line.

Purely in a fantasy take these are Incredible kits. I’ve only built one (Lumitea) but it was far and away a much better build experience than the FAgirl kits. These are actually designed by a vtuber artist iirc which is why the designs are so different than other Koto kit lines. If you have the cash and want to try something different I would highly recommend.

Now finally we get to Bandai. After learning from their failures with the Hg Build Fighters girls they went back and designed something solid and what got me into mecha musume: 30 Minute Sisters

Right off the bat with an average price of around $30 the barrier to entry is much easier. While not as refined as the Megami Device line, these simple kits cram in a lot for the price. You’ll get an armored and unarmored form, as well as face plates. However the biggest selling point is How Damn Easy they are to bash. Being apart of the 30M line means they’re completely compatible with the 30MM line of mechs. Which also means all of those extra weapon and armor sets transfer over for the most part. And that’s not even talking about the dedicated 30MS option sets like hair parts, body parts, etc.

This is a Very beginner friendly line of kits and the place I would suggest most people starting if they’re looking to get into mecha musume.

This example I think uses about 5 different kits to build and I don’t believe any serious modifications were needed.

Another Bandai line to mention is the Standard Figurise line which you’ll be familiar with if you’ve picked up the Sulletta, Miorine or ChuChu kits. Typically pretty solid kits (uma musume excluded, only get the 30ms version of that one) they usually include characters from a variety of different shows. These are still of course bash-able but not without modification.

With the explosion of popularity with these kits means we have even more companies now joining in the race. ATK and MS General have a bunch of kits to offer and we see new companies pop up some really sick looking kits (see tgat Galahad)

We even have Plamax giving us the really cool looking GODZ ORDER kits and soon character kits from Blue Archive, Konosuba and others.

For these smaller/third party companies I would suggest doing plenty of research before buying one. The ATK kit that I made was Especially frustrating and required a lot of extra work to make parts fit right or to clean them up so they fit at all. Not to mention the extra detail work required to really make them look like the box example. Just do your homework.

I hope this helps!! It’s a growing market so there’s always more kits being announced. This should have covered the majority of kits out there but IMPORTANT! Check sites like AmiAmi for sales or resales on kits. You can sometimes find an unbuilt kit that retails at $70 going for $30.

USAGS will regularly get Koto kits in and new releases but by no means believe them when they say a kit is USAGS exclusive. Remember to check HLJ as well. Let me know if you have any other questions and I’ll do my best to answer them!!

#whew #losing this the first time wasn’t fun #but I also really like my mecha musume #so #meh #thanks for the ask! #transfaust #mecha musume #girpla #megami device #frame arms girl #30 minutes sisters #30ms #sousai shoujo tried #arcanadea #atk girl #Ms general

[an-au-blog]

Can’t help but recontextualize Asylum!Chopper as just the friendliest but also most capable man you will ever meet in this au. He cares a lot for his patients, so much that some people sneer it borders on unprofessional, behind his back, where he can’t hear, because everyone also begrudgingly has to admit he’s probably amidst the best staff this asylum ever had. (And he knows. He knows about all the awful things people say about him behind his back but he actively decides it doesn’t matter and not to care for it). Type of doctor who’s delighted when old patients catch up with him. Has some more “”childish”” interests and still watches kids cartoons and reads comics to this day because they help him unwind. Also probably collects stuff like little mecha figures or Gundams or Funko Pops he displays on his desk. Routinely swaps them out every once in a while so he can showcase them to everyone and because lots of patients adore them. Is however keenly aware that people may infantilize him during to his dwarfism coupled with his “childish interests” (can you tell I loathe the idea of interests making you inherently childlike by now?). Do not, I repeat, Do. Not. He WILL remember that for the rest of his life and file you in his mental “people to distrust”folder (unless you sincere apologize and he can tell you are making an effort to educate yourself,but even then he will side eye you for another month or so just in case) and will make it clear that he’s an adult. Deceptively strong. Rumor has it he actually broke a man’s nose once in a bar fight after said drunken fool decided it would be hilarious to grab him by his armpits and swing him around like a rag doll (It’s true. Chopper will gladly tell you the full story when he’s off the clock and he likes you enough).

Oh absolutely.

In fact, Dr Chopper is one of the leading names in his field. He was a wonder child. Even though some people were intimidated by it.

He is the dream for every employer, even though, as you said, some of the other employees don't always share the same sentiment. He's dependable, responsible, cares about people and is an amazing doctor.

Everyone was surprised when he moved from a high paid job to dealing with the mentally ill. He used to work for a pharmaceutical company but after discovering a deadly poison that the company wanted to profit off of he quit. Ironically enough, the same poison sped up the death of he best friend and college at the time Hiriluk. No one other than Robin and Jinbei knows about that though. And of course, his other friend, who took an early retirement - Dr. Kureha.

He's still a general practitioner, and the kids love him, which also makes the mothers love him too... a bit more reluctantly, but still.

I love the idea that he watched cartoons and collects Funko pops, maybe even action figures. (I have a few friends who collect and it's so fun when they show me, so) I'd also like to think that Chopper's friends - Franky, Robin and Jinbei also like seeing and hearing about his interests. The others may think it's weird but he learned to only care about his friends's opinion.

I feel like Chopper would start going to the gym purely for health reasons, but then he'd get really invested in like a sports anime or hyperfixated on something that he feels more and more inclined to go more often. Him getting strong and or buff was purely an accident of circumstance.

#east blue asylum wing au #tony tony chopper #one piece au #op #answers

[flipping-the-coin]

[Inquisitorial Report: Subject - Megatron of Kaon]

[Authorization Level: Alpha (Elite Guard Selective)]

[Listed Authorizations: Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen]

[Assigned Inquisitor: Hush]

[15 Vorns after Cybertron’s Restoration - Ten Stellar-cycles into assignment]

═════════════════

It has been a quiet three stellar cycles, at least by Megatron and Orion standards. Megatron and Orion did some traveling around lower Iacon and spent time at the shops to celebrate their conjunxing anniversary. They were disgustingly romantic as always and got some iced energon which they shared with comically small spoons. They also danced under the light of Luna 1 on the roof and shared a few kisses. I got a few pictures of their whole date because it was, admittedly, rather cute. I left them on the table for Megatron to review. He actually smiled when he saw the pictures I took. I went to great lengths to get excellent images of Orion. Megatron isn’t the greatest photographer and the last one that was hired to take some anniversary pictures for my targets fled the scene a moment after arriving. 

Orion was so fragging sad after he failed to get anyone willing to take pictures. So honestly I am just happy I could help. Orion is a good mech deep down. I didn’t think so when I first got here, but then again, I didn’t think Megatron was capable of love either. I don’t believe that anymore. I’ve been here almost a full vorn and I have seen more than I would have liked to. But through those experiences, I can safely say that their affection is genuine. Orion’s name has been slandered for no real reason and Megatron, while formerly a mech worthy of being jailed, is no longer who he once was. I can’t look at wartime pictures of Megatron and see the same mech who sits hunched over at his desk in the afternoon to write poetry. 

Don’t worry, I left a note with the pictures. I forged a document that stated I was a photographer from a company I made up which I have named ‘Melody Photographics & Landscaping’. Megatron grinned and smiled up at my vent when he saw it. I think he appreciates my efforts. I know Orion certainly did. When he got the pictures he was ecstatic and gushed at Megatron for a half groon about how lovely the photos came out. Of course then he praised Megatron for a long while for being able to find a photographer and for surprising him with pictures after their anniversary. But I am just happy to see them happy. It’s kind of strange, but after being here so long, their joy has begun to infect me.

I know that protocol dictates that I am meant to get my memory files uploaded and then wiped, but I would like to keep these ones, at least until my mission is complete. Sure I’ve seen some things, but I’m happy with that. There are enough good memories to drown out the scary ones.

On another note, ‘Melody Photographics & Landscaping’ has now been ‘hired’ by Megatron to work around the outside of the hab. I forged all the documentation so don’t stress about it, Head Guardsmech. I’ve got some new paint lined up and I plan to begin working in the garden and fixing up the exterior of the hab going forward. Orion is affiliated with the Prime after all. His reputation is tied to our Lord Prime’s. It’s only right that I help fix everything up. I already have a bunch of building material purchased and ready to go. I will begin work once I introduce myself under my alias and get information about what Orion would like the exterior of the hab to look like.

I know it is risky, but I plan to use this alias business of mine to assist Megatron and Orion going forward. I know I am not supposed to be too involved, but I am tired of sitting around. Besides, the sheer level of disrespect thrown at my targets is ridiculous. Few mecha are willing to serve them in public establishments! So if no one else will do it, I will. And before you tell me it's foolish, I have logical reasons behind the choice as well, at least aside from saving our Prime’s reputation. If I am the one supplying them with services, then I will know exactly what they are doing and I will be able to give better reports. With that said, I could use some additional funding going forward. Not much mind you, just enough to buy some tools and more paint. 

Oh, and before I forget, Carnage has begun staying with me more often! He comes back far more frequently now and he loves to recharge directly on my chassis. I am not sure why exactly, but I assume it's because a cyber-feline’s hearing is better than my own and he enjoys the sound of my spark. I don’t actually know if he’s a he, but it felt weird to not have some sort of designator for him. I didn’t want to keep calling him an it after he spent so many long nights curled up at my side when I was lonely. 

Actually, Carnage has shown me a few interesting things about the hab and the surrounding area. Firstly, there are a few exotic crystals nearby that the records list as being extinct. I have already excavated them and am cultivating them quietly so that they can be put in Orion’s garden once I get permission to get working. Carnage also showed me a store that had a new visor that I may or may not have bought. Sorry, but the one issued by the guard really just didn’t meet my needs. My optics are… incredibly sensitive to anything and everything. Boredom wasn’t the only thing that led me to clean Megatron’s hab obsessively. 

Dust hurts. At least now with my new visor, it doesn’t burn as much. I can see without as much suffering on my end. 

 Lastly, there are tunnel systems, not the ones for the Primes mind you, running beneath a good chunk of Iacon. I think they were sewers connected to the old factory districts from before the war. Most have collapsed, but a few are still in decent enough repair to traverse. One of these tunnels leads directly to that engraver’s house. I’ve found a whole stash of illegal drugs down there. I fully plan to examine that engraver further once I have a free moment. This is getting ridiculous and I refuse to put Orion and Megatron at risk of catching something from fumes. 

I read in one of the archive’s files that creating drugs like circuit breakers makes nasty fumes that can make mecha seriously ill. I don’t know if that’s what the engraver is doing or if he’s just a distributor, but I would like a warrant to begin looking into him as well. For all we know, he could be affiliated with some underground network. I think it was Megatron who said it, but in his words, “The black market is always open for business.”

Oh, and before I forget, I think you will be happy to know that Orion Pax has stopped freezing up terribly at depictions of the Prime. He doesn’t need to shield his optics from the billboards anymore. This is huge progress! Although I must admit I agree with Megatron when it comes to those things. They are gross . Our Prime just looks wrong on them. Who allowed the senate to purchase rights to our Prime’s image? I don’t want to point digits at the Primal Steward or the Council, but I think you should look into that because it’s not only disrespectful, but really fragging uncomfortable to look at considering Optimus Prime is a holy figure. 

I saw one billboard just the other cycle with our Prime’s image smiling alongside one of his quotes while holding up a cube of energon. It was an energon advertisement. For Primus’s sake, our Prime hasn’t even been dead twenty vorns and he’s already being used to prop up businesses. Can we at least remove the ones around lower Iacon? It’s not like anything will get sold down here anyway. Megatron agrees with me on this front. 

No I don’t talk to him directly, but I have made a few noises while he was discussing the billboards by himself. He took that to be a sign of my agreement and honestly, he wasn’t wrong to make that assumption. Megatron wrote a whole article on how disrespectful and wasteful it is to have Optimus Prime literally everywhere across Iacon. How many memorials does he need? He’s holy, yes. I will fully and gladly acknowledge that. But he isn’t some prop to be piloted. Please, look into the situation. I implore you, Head Guardsmech.

That’s all I have to report on for now. Megatron left some more pre war documents out for me, so if you don’t mind, I’ve got some reading to do. I am halfway through a selection of Ascenticon legislation proposals. 

═════════════════

[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]

[Note from Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen: Hush, are you serious? You are far beyond mere spying now. If you were anyone else, I would have pulled you back and had you sent to a Chaplain. However, considering Megatron has tolerated you so far and even seems to appreciate you, I will leave you be. Just, be careful. He’s unpredictable.]

#maccadam #transformers prime au #transformers #two sides to a coin au #transformers prime #orion pax #megaop #megatron #two sides supplemental writing #hush reports #post war cybertron #cybertronian culture

[animehouse-moe]

Mobile Suit Gundam - The Witch From Mercury Season 2 Episode 5: The Prodigal Son Returns

Man oh man oh man. Where to even begin. The best character arc of a deuteragonist/side character within easily the last year? The shifting tides that pull Suletta under its surface? The kickass mecha fights? All the various plotting and scheming that forms countless webs? There's a lot to this episode, but the vast majority of it is placed under Guel and Suletta, and for incredibly good reason.

I oh so desperately want to talk about Guel Jeturk and his character arc through GWitch, but I really do need to start with Suletta. Right from the get go, Miorine is helping us establish the issues of Suletta. It's almost a bit of a slander episode for the poor girl, and by the end I think you'll agree that it's a pretty incredible choice to make.

Anyways, we start with Suletta excitedly waiting for Miorine outside her room before consistently walking behind Miorine. Behind her in the hallways, behind her on the stairs, and in all sorts of camera angles. The pair have had that distance bubble up between them from earlier conversations, but here it's Miorine creating that gap.

This was also an interesting addition in terms of layouts and conversation. Suletta is still behind Miorine of course, but there's a mobile suit that walks by in the background, providing the audible footsteps of its massive frame while Suletta talks about celebrating a birthday. It very strongly speaks to the out of place nature of Suletta's constant positivity in the current outlook and nature of Astacassia.

Then, we get some here and there pieces about Grassley plotting with Peil to lead the Benerit Group, and Elan five trying to get Suletta to give him Aerial. Sorta the usual stuff, but we kick things off from there. Suletta enters a duel with Guel, where Aerial is up for collateral. Miorine and Guel (and even Ericht) end up plotting against Suletta in the duel, forcing her to lose.

This loss builds directly off of Miorine's conversations with Prospera, and even her interactions with Suletta herself during the beginning of the episode. Miorine hates that Suletta is so easily controlled by her mother, and that she's entirely blinded by what she's been given. An undefeatable mobile suit, friends and people that will flock to her, comfort and happiness to push through the darker moments. She hasn't said a single word of Sophie dying in an earlier episode, but will excitedly move towards planning a birthday for someone.

Her mother has her and Aerial strung up like puppets, and Miorine so intensely desires to break that, to allow Suletta to be free and her own person. It's just that, in doing so, they essentially have to break Suletta apart. Rip her from her sister Aerial who has protected her, wrench Suletta from Prospera's hand, and completely isolate her from all that she's known. They're basically pulling a Bob on Suletta and I'm 100% here for it.

Speaking of Bob/Guel. Absolutely best boy of the season and year, incredible character arc, impeccable style, and talents and abilities that stand up to the early makings of a God. His name should be screamed from the rooftops to celebrate his story.

It's just so amazing. He comes back with purpose, with resolve. Not for himself alone, but for his brother, his family. His house. He wants to bring back his company's golden age, give his father something to look down on with a smile, something that could earn his father's pride.

And where does he get this resolve? None other than Suletta. The girl that's had everything in her life, the girl that's embarrassed Guel on more than one occasion. He takes the words of this girl that has been manipulated beyond belief, and finds his own strength in them. His own resolve that places Suletta in his shadow, and moves forward. He moves past death, his failures, his inability to save those around him. He looks towards his future with hope, and the strength to turn his dreams into a reality. It's just so incredibly beautiful and strong. This man had lost it all. He lost the position of holder, he was expelled from school, he killed his own father, had a young innocent girl die in his arms. And now, he's come back to school to reclaim his crown and forge his own path in life. I can't get enough of it, I really can't. Such an incredible character arc told with such little screen time. Guel deserves the world, and by God he's gonna reach out and grab it with his own two hands.

Also, this moment of his duel with Suletta is beyond amazing. They consistently point out his aversion to piloting a mobile suit. Of how the last two times he was in one, someone has died. He feels sick, his head's spinning and he breaks out into cold sweats. He freezes up, forced to relive his trauma and deepest terrors. It's such a wonderful depiction of it, that is complemented by various other standpoints, like the aversion that one girl expresses to the fight.

But the crowning moment of this duel, is a single moment of fear from Guel. He's frozen up in the cockpit as Suletta bears down on him, solely focused on winning for Miorine. He can't do anything, he sees his father's mobile suit before his eyes, it too bearing down on him, intent on killing him. And it's not some "strength" that pulls him out of this spiral, it's not Guel's willpower alone that snaps him out of it. It's his resolve. His resolve to hold onto the present, to keep those around him close to his heart, to make sure he can do all that he can to live up to who he wants to be. It's the cries of his friends, of his brother and the people in his house, that give him that resolve. Far from it for this moment to be "the power of friendship" though, it's a piece of solidarity and support that speaks to greater depths than pure "friendship", and is yet another amazing aspect to this story.

All in all, just another astonishingly wonderful episode. We're back in the school setting, but we haven't lost a lot of that edge that we gained from the excursion to Earth. Stakes are still high as blood runs a deep crimson and tensions rise among factions and groups. Guel comes to reclaim his crown as holder, and in doing so perfectly breaks apart Suletta with the help of Miorine. We begin a downwards tumble for the Mercurian Witch, and it seems like it's just the beginning of ripping the threads that Prospera carefully placed within Suletta out.

#the witch from mercury #gundam the witch from mercury #機動戦士ガンダム 水星の魔女 #kidou senshi gundam: suisei no majo #gundam witch #gundam witch from mercury #gundam suisei no majo #suisei no majo #g witch #witch from mercury #mobile suit gundam #gundam #suletta mercury #guel jeturk #miorine rembran #anime recommendation #anime review #anime and manga #anime #anime original #mecha anime

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the asshole for continuously trying to kill the woman my coworker says I love?

Right, I know it sounds very bad, but listen to me

For some context, I work for an technological research company that also doubles as a private military agency. It is also worth noting that me and all my coworkers posess cybernetic enhancements to help us execute our duties, making us essentially cyborgs. Furthermore, we have been sometimes labeled as "terrorists" and have caused our fair share of destruction, but all are allegations.

Now, mind you, I am only telling you this for context, so I would like to request that you leave the debatable-terrorism aside when casting your judgement.

You see, we have... "rivals" of sorts. Members of another... I'm not sure if it's a company. Anyway, they ARE our rivals and arch-nemesises, always messing with our plans and such. If we are the "villains", they are the "heroes", to put it simply. Coincidentally enough, they have 8 main members, and on our company, we have 8 captains (me included, of course). All 8 of us have a specific enemy that bothers us the most, and for the purposes of this post, we'll be talking solely about mine, whom I shall refer to as "H".

H is as stubborn and annoying as she is strong and determined. I have been called "short tempered" multiple times before, but, let's say, if I were to have a hypothetical list of times I have been enraged, by who, and how quickly, she would easily occupy the 3rd, 2nd and 1st place spots on this purely hypothetical and completely non-existent list. For as long as I've known H, since my very first defeat at her hands (or, well, feet, since her preferred method of attack is kicking), I have cultivated a boiling hatred for her and vowed I would kill her with my bare hands (or, well, feet, since my preferred method of attack is, coincidentally, also kicking. Though MY feet have chainsaws, therefore I am vastly superior).

However, I have... failed, multiple times. When I first lost to her, the very first thing I did was make multiple blueprints and plan a new form for myself, a project which I submitted to our boss, to turn myself into a gigantic robot, fully equipped with heavy firepower and top of the line technology. Admittedly, it was rather costy and over the top, but my boss was amused and agreed. "With all of this, I'd be more impressed if you lost again!" was how he bid me farewell that day, as I made my way to put my project into action and scorch H out of the face of the Earth.

"I'm impressed!" was how he greeted me the next day.

To say H "defeated" me would be generous. As much as I do not like to admit, she completely outwitted me, reducing my new form to scrap on the floor. My counsciousness was retrieved and I was put back into my old cyborg body, not only because it would be difficult to fix my giant form and also enter our headquarters with it, but also because it was completely unfixeable after our fight.

Ever since then, I have been attempting to upgrade myself and defeat H (though I have been forbidden from requesting new giant mecha bodies), and I have repeatedly failed. Every time we fought, I was taken down. And then I acquired new upgrades. And we fought again. And this became a recurring cycle, so much that H seems very used to it by now, treating defeating me as just another common daily chore like doing the dishes or washing clothes. Needless to say, it infuriates me that she thinks so little of me.

Here is where things get... Odd. I have noticed that, for a while now, I don't seem to get any performance benefit from my newest upgrades. Usually, even if I was taken down, I always had some sort of noticeable improvement in comparison to the previous fight. But recently, I am defeated again and again and I seem to learn nothing. I did not understand why. Had she outdone me so greatly that now she was in a level where I could not, under any hypothesis, defeat her? I did not understand, until one of my coworkers, S, suggested something, something so absurd, that I could not believe it.

S said that maybe, I wasn't fighting to kill her anymore. That just as H had grown to see our fights as routine, I had grown to look forward to it, and not only that, that I somehow "liked getting beat up by her", as he put it. He said I was visibly holding myself back, that I was having a "suspiciously slow reaction time to her attacks" (for some reason he also almost laughed when saying that first word? Not quite sure why), and even pointed out how I usually lure her to places with no civilians and/or make sure civilians are evacuated before fighting in a public space, as if to make sure she "doesn't have to worry about killing a civilian and hold back" and so that she "won't hate me too much for killing a few people unintentionally". With that, S could have won an easy 4th place on the previously mentioned hypothetical list of "who enraged me the quickest and how".

...Unfortunately, something happened a few days ago, that seemed to somewhat bring validity to his claims. As I was fighting with H, I had my opportunity. In a quick instant, there was a breach in her defenses, her neck was exposed, in a perfect spot to be cut. I readied my blades, prepared to deliver a cutting kick at her throat and bathe in her blood, cease the humiliation I've been put through, end this rivalry once and for all.

But I didn't.

My blades were ready. I was ready. I had more than enough time to do it, but I didn't. Something held me back. H looked as confused as I did, and she escaped, while I just stood there.

Now, I don't believe this proves ANYTHING, howev

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAM HERE

Was watching Emmet type this but he isnt doing this story justice so i yoinked the phone from him to add some more stuff because i am NOT letting this man hide key details

So anyway a few days ago he and Holly were fighting as usual, and i was watchin, as usual. Ive been watchin them fight a lot recently, i mean, its not like Emmet tries to hide when he plans to fight her, hes always yapping about how THIS time hes gonna get her. So, one thing he didnt say was that Holly def knows he likes her by this point and tbh she looks like shes 100% into it, especially after he let her live on purpose. So, yesterday, Holly cornered him, not in a "he was defenseless" kind of way mind you, he could have run away or attacked any time he wanted, but he didnt, instead he just backed himself into a wall while she came closer

So shes just sloooowly closing in and hes nervous and stuttering out some weak threats and his voice is cracking and the lower half of his face is blushing (the upper half is robotic btw, just thought youd like to know ;D) and i couldnt hear what she was saying from where i was standing, but i could see she was saying something. So she like, she did that thing, yknow that thing when you corner someone and press your hand on the wall next to their head? Its a way of flirting ig, but anyway, Holly did that but with her FOOT. She lifted her leg and pressed her foot next to his head so hard the wall cracked, and he was basically haywiring at that point, but thats not all, no. Heres the cherry on the cake:

She said something else after she did that, and idk what she said but it flustered Emmet so hard that there was smoke and sparks coming out of his ears and, I SHIT YOU NOT, he straight up BLUE SCREENED. Bros eye went full BLUE and he FELL TO THE GROUND, and at that point i started laughing the loudest ive ever laughed. Holly also laughed with me and im fucking glad she did bc i was completely incapacitated at that point

Now idk abt yall but personally i think all of this is very SUSpicious (ඞ) and that he may have some feelings for her

So anyway i dont think Emmet is TA but he is def TPRR (The Pathetic Robot Rabbit) , so yall PLEASE help this man wake up cause he needs it badly. He straight up made a "mural of hate" where hes got a bunch of pics of Holly to "motivate" him to "destroy her". My man does NOT know how to cope with romantic feelings and he is discovering a lot of new things about himself and he desperately needs help

Im not giving the phone back to Emmet rn bc hes gonna delete all of this for sure so im sending this ask myself. Oh and on a finishing note, that list he talked abt? Yeah thats real LMAO and yes Holly does have the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. I got the 4th one and also got the 5th one when i suggested he had jacked off to his mural of hate (god he was so pissed it was so fucking funny) so anyway yeah i hear Emmets screaming getting closer so i gotta send this before he finds me okay BYE

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[popculturebuffet]

Into the Spider-Verse: Spider-Ham (Marvel Tails #1 and Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham #15) (Comissioned by WeirdKev15)

Hello all you happy webheads and welcome back to Into the Spider-Verse, my look at the origins of every webslinger from the landmark film in the build up to Across the Spider-Verse. And it's bittersweet to be this close to the end of the web here: i'm proud of myself for this project and kev for having cooked it up as it allowed me to really dig into my love of spider-man, and comics in general, with new ideas and even possible new retrospectives wholesale coming out of this.

But before we can end this ride, we still have one Spidey to cover, who after our previous spider-persons adventures with crackers and milk, their predecesors literal oppisite sex clone, mob goons without fear, rock n roll pop art halluciongens in your giant spider mecha, and giant spiders stripping you naked, one man comes along to say..

Yes it's time for the debut of Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham a

And i'm sure many of you, both those familiar with the comics and those who just watched the movie, are asking the same question: why. The answer is simple. Way way back in the 1980's, Marvel had a new animated arm, Marvel Productions, which was a massive deal, producing both GI Joe and Transformers, which both started as comics first to promote the upcoming toylines, as well as Dungeons and Dragons, My LIttle Pony Tales, Muppet Babies, Jem and the Holograms, Kid N Play and the Biker Mice From Mars. There were also of course marvel cartoons like Spider-Man(the 80s one), Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, The Incredible Hulk, the more popular Incredible Hulk and the infamous and destined to be covered Pryde of the X-Men Pilot.

So naturally Marvel wanted more ips to feed into the almighty merchandising machine, because shockingly, companies have ALWAYS wanted every dollar they can get out of making more and more adaptations as long s they can afford it. So two writers set to work to spitball this: They were Tom DeFalco, a longtime spider-man editor who would go on to write the guidebook I had as a kid that really got me into the comics and taught me a lot about his rogues gallery and more importantly would write the book himself briefly, being the one to crystalize Mary Jane's tragic Backstory and her knowing Peter Parker is spider-man all along. WIth him was the wonderful Larry Hama, at the time writing GI JOe for marvel.. and at the time of this writing STILL writing his continuation of that continuity for IDW as he should. Hama deserves all the credit for setting the foundations of the GI Joe universe most adaptations follows and for writing one hell of a comic in the process, and not one to rest on his laurels would later have the defining run on Wolverine's solo book.

So as you can imagine when these two legends get together.. they created a simple but enduringly weird joke that has lasted decades. It's a concept that just works: Spider-Man.. but he's a funny animal. Weirdly though Marvel Animation passed on it, not wanting anything to do with it despite the fact that in a time when Garfield was at the peak of his powers and they'd be making muppet babies, funny animals were a VERY easy sell. Seriously why Marvel Animation was so stupid is a riddle for the ages but Marvel liked printing money, so they put Porker in a one shot, Marvel Tails, parodying the marvel reprint mag marvel Tales. That said DeFalco didn't expect much from it and was suprised months later when the higher ups asked for another issue. He explained it was a one shot.. and then they asked when the next issue was and he got the memo. While DeFalco wrote the one shot that launched the character he freely admits he's not the one who made him a star. That honor goes to Steve Skeates. Skeates had been a mainstay in the industry, paticuarlly having a run on Aquaman i've been trying to read for some time that really launched the character to new heights before Superfriends would shove him back to the depths for a while. He was burnt out on the industry and freely admits he wouldn't of done the book for Larry Hama if it was any other book, but felt the format allowed him to do a throwback to the kinds of books he liked writing while still throwing in plenty of comedy to keep it fresh. The result was pretty great, with Skeates wisely having Porker's various foes not be the obvious joke of being the animals they resemble, for instance the Vulture being a possum in a buzzard suit instead of a vulture.

And we'll be seeing that contrast between Porker's humble one shot joke beginings and evolved more nuanced parody as unlike most of the characters featured... Porker didn't get his origin story for a while. While most of the spider-persons got there's in their very first appearance or arc, Porker's origin didn't come about till late in his solo books run. So today we'll be looking at both his first appearance in Marvel Tails, and his origin story in Peter Porker the Spectacular Spider-Ham #15 under the cut!

Spider-Ham begins his career in a typical spider-man setting: stopping a typical gang of thugs with ease and some quips. But it's not long before we get into one of the weird things about this story, something that just dosen't really work with it: Captain Americat. Cap is pictured here as Peter's steadfast partner and a reporter at his paper and none of this works. Now this is an AU, it COULD work and the idea of steve and peter being closer partners and steve mentoring him is great, just as the idea of Tony mentoring him was a brilliant one the movies captalized on. But here it's just treated as a normal thing without really being used for a joke that this is so unusual. A large part of this is something that's easy to forget as it hasn't been true about the character since the early 2000's. Spidey.. used to be a bit of a loner when it came to the rest of the Marvel Universe. Granted he was the kind of loaner who had an entire ongoing dedicated to him teaming up with other heroes and a tv show where he had two super college roomies he'd fight crime with, but when it came to consistant teamups his only real super friends were the fantastic four and in a few years Daredevil. Spider-Woman existed, but Jessica was largely her own thing by design, with only the name in common and wouldn't really become an ally or even friend of peter's till they were in the avengers together. Peter would have team ups but he really wasn't super close with the rest of the marvel universe. This changed in the early 2000's as his joining the new avengers gave him a lot of new allies in the marvel universe: He'd be on the new avengers until Brian Micheal Bendis left the book, he joined HIckman's avengers for the first arc, with Doc Ock taking his place, and joined the Mighty Avengers and Mark Waid's avengers afterwords, only in the last few years taking a break from the group entirely, ironically as his MCU counterpart became heavily associated with them himself. Not only that the dawn of the spider-verse and miles migrating to become the 616's second spider-man, meant peter soon had a spider-family.

Even now in his current tirefire of a solo i've been purposfully avoiding but suspect i'l lhave to confront some day, he has Ms Marvel, soon to be thrown in the fridge, Norman Osborn, long story, and his current girlfriend the black cat. Peter's no longer the solo operator he once was.. but back then it's very weird fo ra parody of the character to just.. casually hang out with Captain America regularly and this angle was wisely dropped.

This isn't the only weird thing in this issue either. For some reason rather than pulling from peter's many rogues, the issue has him face the Masked Marauder, some punk ripping off a super high tech arcade. It comes off more like a Scooby Doo Mystery complete with various red herings and the actual culprit showing up early on. He's not even the main threat as the everlovin hulk is also shoved into this issue. His origin is a little neat, with Bruce Bunny being an arcade game maker who gets shoved into a cabinet.

The result though just isn't that funny. Ther'es a good joke about steve stashing his shield in his coat

But otherwise i'ts just kinda.. there and didn't leave the best first impression back when I first read it. It's nicely drawn, but dosen't have much actually to say or any really satire of the character. It's clear they had the name but no idea what to do with it. THe backup is pretty funny though, the weird Goose Rider, take a while guess, who just.. spends it riding around, thinking about grabbing a burger, and dealing iwth shouty civlians and some random doofus called chainsaw. This satire.. actually works as from what I can tell Ghost Rider's early rogues gallery before his reinvention in the 90's wasn't all that impressive with few exceptions. It's more what I wanted. Thankfully when Peter got his title shot, things perked up and by the time we get to his origin... we get something delightful.

As you can tell both by the cover used for this review and from the title, this one's a parody of spider-man no more. Even if you haven't read the story (I've only read the iconic issue iwth the cover), you've doubtlessly seen it's cover, and the various homages to both that and the shot of peter throwing his costume in the trash and walking away, both by spider-heroes and the rest of the marvel. It helps that Sam Rami choose it as the backbone of Spider-Man 2 and ended up making an even BETTER version of the story in the process. Even Miles had his own version of it after his mom died and he blamed himself for it since the second ultimate venom was the reason she died. If you've read more recent comics and seen Rio alive and well that's because Miles befriended the Molocule Man, a very shy man with the power to control molocules... which shockingly for comics has been treated every bit as horrifyingly powerful as it should since his introduction, with MM's only real wekaness being his crippling neurosis. So when the universe died and was put back, Molocule brought her back as a thank you present. I had a point here.. ah yes.. I love the Molocule Man and feel he's a highly underated character. Oh that with the severe stress and sacrifice of being a spider-man, it's not a huge leap to have that moment of doubt. And it's an even shorter leap to take that moment and parody it and Peter's angst for all it's worth. We open with J Jonah Jackal hooking himself up to an idea machine while his three young wards, the junior newsboys watch. They are Jermiah Jackal, JJJ's snooty nephew, Bunson Bunny, our resident nerd who talks in big snetences and Upton Adam Stray, a combination of a black sterotype and

If your getting some deja vu from a rich magnate having three young sidekicks who both acompany him and try to steer away his worse instincts, one of whom is jonah's literal nephew.. GOOD. It means you have good taste and also get the bit. Spider-Ham has a bit of the old Scrooge McDuck stories in it's dna, simply adding spider-man and his rogues to the mix, and really JJJ is such a perfect fit for scrooge and Peter for Donald, that I can't blame both writers for dipping into this formula when it fits spider-man shockingly well now he's a pig.

This issue is written by steven Mellor, who took over the title later in his run, but like Skeates does a really fun job with it.

With Jonah having peter come to the clubhouse to view an idea he came up with that involves the kids

Peter deals with typical spider-man things. That is trying to get a date with his ex Betty Bat. It goes about usual for peter

Also as you might have noticed, hilariously, Peter Porker looks a LOT like John Mulaney, despite having been created only one year after John was born. I mean he's also a talking pig but the hair is distractingly like his future voice actors and I love it.

Baby P decides to handle this like a mature, rational young swine

Before bemoaning that he's still single.. what I like is that Mellor both really gets how Peter Parker Mopey Rants work, and milks it with everyone starring not sure what to do as peter ineternally rants and the janitor eventually asking him to leave as he's getting his tears on the floor. Peter then reflects back to his origin, the reason we're here. And even for a talking pig.. peter's origin is hilaroiusly bizzare. It's my kind of weird shenanigans. Okay so in this version Peter.. was a spider, which is clever enough.. but May was a mad scientest who befriended peter and showed him her new invention: a fission powered hairdryer. It made her radoactive, it wasn't good.. and well... I can't say what happens next and have most of you belivie it actually happened so here's photographic evdience.

This.. this is comedy gold, and clever as all hell. Just deciding to have may be radioactive nad bite peter. It's as nuts as it is brilliant and I love it. So we get the standard origin moments of Peter testing out his powers.. and we also get a nice gag out of him bending a pipe in the original amazing fantasy #15

Peter returns to find may basically the dodering old lady sterotype she was in earlier spider-man comics, and decides to look after her and not tell her the truth, as well as put his powers to use. Peter's genius in this version is also from the bite and thus Spider-Ham is born

After running into flash thompsons counterpart, who sadly isn't named flash beagle, we get jonah's meeting where he's dressed himself and the boys up in superhero outfits and ...

To become Black Beagle and his beagle brigadeers. Peter is dragged along for this and this.. is easily the weakest part of the issue. While the idea of Jonah becoming a hero himself is great and has been used well, here it's just kinda there and is mostly a setup for them to befriend "Andy Warthog" and see a bunch of celebrity pastiches. It's a boring page or two

Thankfully it picks up with a delightful parody of one of my faviorite spider-man rogue as the Hobgobbler crashes the party! God bless this pun. He kidnaps one of the celebrties and we get a ncie character moment. Despite how silly this character and his origin are... it's still neat to see the core of spider-man.. is still present.

No matter the universe, no matter who wears the mask... they can't turn down responsiblity. Try as he might.. Peter just can't let someone else get hurt if he can help it and that's what makes spider-man the hero we love so much: that drive to help people no matter what it takes. It's what makes a spider-person what they are wethere they be man, woman, ham or nb.

So Peter naturally wins, in a nicely drawn fight, cooks the turkey and drive sJonah home. He WANTS to just get some deserved sleep but Aunt May has other plans.. thankfully said plans give our hero his much deserved happy ending. Action is already his reward.

As you can probably figure, this issue is a massive improvment and it's clear even with two diffrent writers, the full ongoing got the concept better and more importantly had more fun with it. The result.. is fucking great. Also the puns. Dear lord the puns. And that's not getting into the backup which has the scavengers fight kangaroo the conquerer. Who damn well better be among the council of kangs. At any rate this issue was greatr and even with the brief slowdown, is a great issue, not only getting me reintrested in this run, but also showing off just what you can do with a parody: have it be both heartfelt and clearly get what it's making fun of while still being great.

Next Time: The web ends as we look at the movie itself. Anyone can wear the mask but is one Miles Morales up to the task? Can he fill peter's shoes? Well yeah, I mean there's even a sequel, but it's still one hell of a ride.

#spider-man #peter porker #spider-ham #mary jane waterbuffalo #john mulaney #into the spider-verse #across the spider-verse

[shuttershocky]

Do you think with fromsoft reviving armored core and essentially the mecha genre, do you think western companies are gonna try and make their own mech games?

Depends on the success of Armored Core 6 and how Fromsoft plans to bring AC into the modern era. I do not doubt AC6 will be amazing, I have doubts it will be successful compared to Elden Ring and inspire its own competition.

Armored Core was big, but it wasn't /Souls big/ you know? As much as Soulsbourne has a reputation for difficulty and being a gatekeeper series, it's got mainstream appeal.

I mean shit, the toddler who I babysat back when I was in highschool ended up beating Bloodborne four different times now that she's in highschool herself. She's a gen z kid whose most played game is Genshin Impact and she's better at Bloodborne than I am.

And that's just Bloodborne. Elden Ring's audience was gargantuan, and even people frightened off by Fromsoft's reputation found they could give Elden Ring a spin with how many tools it gave you to make it easier for yourself.

Armored Core on the other hand... Well Dreamer explained it much better than I can. It's far more demanding of a player than Souls is, to the point where I have serious doubts it will reach anywhere near a soulsbourne game's success without significant changes to its identity (and judging from the interviews, that ain't happening. Armored Core is staying Armored Core.)

I mean forget for a moment about the insane complexity of every piece of equipment and the ridiculous amount of control you had over your playstyle with its builds, you had to hold your controller fucking backwards to play Armored Core from the sheer amount of buttons you have to press in combat.

I'm not kidding. You play Armored Core PVP like this.

Unless Miyazaki pulls some witchcraft that makes this abomination of a grip a megahit, we're not getting Armored Core copycats like we did with Dark Souls.

It would be really, really fucking cool though to see the mecha renaissance...