#like ah yes that person is probably female but also in a way that may not be immediately attractive to men

[soapisahimbo]

NSFW ABC - Alejandro Vargas Edition

Ah yes, Alejandro! I asked you guys if you wanted to see Alejandro or Soap first, and while there weren't a whole lot of responses, the majority leaned towards our beloved Colonel Vaquero!

Contains heavy smut elements, so minors stay away!

Up next will be Soap MacTavish, but until then, I hope you enjoy this! Let me know what you think, and what else you would want to see!

warnings: senseless smut, alejandro may as well be gomez addams at this point, hinted at female reader, far too detailed for my own good, please help me

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):

He will spend an exorbitant amount of time just kissing you, slowly and deeply, as a way of bringing you both back to reality. If you want to take a shower after, you're the one who needs to bring it up, because he is utterly at peace with just laying there with you for the remainder of the day or night. If you mention it, he'll hum out a "of course, querida" against your lips and lift you up in his arms even if you insist that you can walk (careful now, he might take it as a personal challenge to make sure that you can't next time).

Will keep kissing you while in the shower, and it feels a bit like kissing in the rain. You try to wash him off as best you can, but he won't turn around to let you scrub his back, not wanting to part his lips from yours any more than he absolutely has to. He will be diligent with washing you off, though; maybe a bit too diligent. His hands tend to wander when he has you like this, and you might need to keep him in check if you don't want to go for another round. If given the chance, he'll be down on his knees with his face between your legs and insist that he just can't help himself - "the things you do to me, cariña."

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

If you were to actually ask him how he felt about your body, he might see it as a cause for concern - are you doubting yourself or his feelings towards you? - but he'd grin and say, "My sweet, there's no part of your body that doesn't drive me wild." He is by no means lying, but when push comes to shove, if he really took the time to think about it, he'd come to realize that he has a specific weakness for your neck and chest. Your neck is where he buries his face and leaves the sweetest, most simmering kisses, and your chest is where he rests his head and marks you up the most when he has the chance to. He likes to plant his lips at your neck whenever he greets you, and licks and bites all over these spots during sex.

As for himself, he takes great pride in knowing that he's strong and capable, and that you like what you see. He's rarely fully clothed when at home with you and likes that you watch him whenever he walks by. He's probably most proud of his shoulders, chest and abdomen; loves it when you run your hands over them, when you trail kisses on the way down and when you leave scratches in the heat of the moment. He'll absolutely melt if you place your hand, or a kiss, over his heart.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):

Wants to be as deep in you as he can be when he cums, pushing his hips against yours as if the closest he can get still isn't close enough, and he wants to stay inside you like that for a while to savour the heat. He wants to fill you up, and he wants to do it properly. He sees it as something intimate, as something between true lovers, and will ask you if you feel it, deep inside you.

Especially when coming home to you from a mission, he'll make sure to cum in you as many times as he can, almost as if to make up for all the times he hasn't been able to, to remind both of you that this is where he belongs. Once he's pulled out, he'll almost want to cover your hole with something so that it won't leak out; he wants you to carry it in you for as long as possible.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

When the two of you started dating, you took it slow. Neither of you were in any rush, and he wanted to be sure that both of you really wanted this. He was flirtatious, but courteous; bold, but respectful. He'd give you a taste, then step back to let you think on it and see how you felt about it. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel pressured.

One night, you had invited him over for dinner and the two of you were simply chatting, sitting up close and cuddled in the couch with some drinks and dessert, soaking in the coziness of the moment. He told you he needed to excuse himself for a moment, planted a sweet kiss on your lips and headed to the bathroom. Nothing was out of the ordinary, until he turned to dry his hands on the towel and saw something hanging on the edge of your otherwise empty laundry basket. Before he realized what he was doing, he held a pair of black lace panties in his hand. He found himself running his thumb over the fabric that would rest against your most intimate part and his mouth watered.

For the rest of the evening, he felt like a child that knew he had done something bad and was waiting anxiously for his parents to find out, but you were none the wiser. Once it was time to call it a night, he gave you a loving goodbye, perhaps a bit more heated than usual, and left you flustered in the hall. It wasn't until he walked through his own front door that he nearly had a crisis, because in the back pocket of his jeans were the panties. That night, he sat in his bed with them tightly gripped in his hand, conflicted and unsure. He swallowed hard and ran his fingers over the fabric again, then held them to his face and gently inhaled the traces of your scent still left in it. He couldn't bring himself any further than that, and shoved them back into his pocket. He laid down, still fully dressed, and stared up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep that night while the scent of you still lingered in his nose, and his dick sat rock solid in his pants.

He secretly returned the panties to you the next time he visited you - a full week later (he had smelled them a couple of more times while he had them) - and that just so happened to be the first time you had sex with each other.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):

He's got quite a bit of experience - he's been a popular man nearly all his life. He hasn't been the type to mindlessly sleep around, but he has had few passionate nights with strangers, and a few relationships that he, at the time, had hoped would've been true love. None of them turned out that way, and after a particularly bad breakup, he sort of locked that thought away in the back of his mind. Stayed pretty much celibate up until he met you, and once he had you and knew for a fact that this was real, he sure took his sweet time finding out how to make you tick.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):

He's not at all picky; he just wants to see your face. Even if he's taking you from behind, he'll turn your head so that he can look into your eyes and kiss you. He likes being able to grind deep into you, and having your legs wrapped around him, so any position that can give him these things is highly favoured.

He will of course give you what you want - if you have some favourite positions of your own, he'll be sure to follow your lead to make sure that you're having just as good of a time as he's having (if not greater). He's not going to hold you back if you want to take control; if you want to go for a ride, he'll simply grin and lean back to watch.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):

He absolutely loves laughing with you, and more often than not he'll have you grinning like a love-struck fool (don't worry, he looks like one too 99% of the time). He loves it if he can get a proper raucous, full on belly-laugh from you, the kind that'll have tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

He flirts with you nonstop, as if he's still trying to seduce you even though you're already naked and in bed with him. He'll tell you all sorts of seductive and dirty pickup-lines, switching regularly between English and Spanish. He's the type to walk in through the front door, or into the room you're in, and rock up to you like he's just laid eyes on you at a bar for the first time and plans to take you home for the night. He's got a bit of a cheeky sense of humour with you and he'll keep the dirty talk up for as long as the two of you are coherent.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):

Thick and black hair running down the center of his abdomen to his groin. He's a bit of a hairy man overall, and doesn't do much to fix it. Might give it a trim every now and then, just to make sure it doesn't turn into a jungle. He washes himself regularly and thoroughly. Other than that, he doesn't give it much thought unless you point it out.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):

Alejandro is nothing if not a passionate man; he wants to take everything that you can give him, and give everything he can in return to you.

But sometimes he just needs to love you, and be loved by you. Be it after a tough day, or having been away from you for an extended period of time, or just the burden of his line of work in general. There will be no flirting, no jokes, no teasing - any and all words he can muster up will be about how much he loves you and how he never wants to leave your side. He wants to be strong for you, to be your protector, but if you return those words and that same sentiment, if you tell him he's yours, that you love him and that he's safe with you, he might cry.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

Almost never. Not because he doesn't have urges; he has plenty of those. He thinks about you and he misses you when he's away, but he won't touch himself, for two reasons mainly.

First, focus. He has a will and determination of steel, and if he's on a mission, all of that goes into doing his job. Frankly, even though he thinks about you every day, he's too focused for any thought to cloud his mind - getting distracted doesn't belong in his line of work. It becomes a type of motivation for him in a way, because the sooner he gets through this, the sooner he can come back to you.

Second, conviction. He has an almost religious belief that that's to be shared with you, to be given to you. His pleasure is yours to have and yours to take.

The few times that he actually does touch himself will be the rare times he can get you on a phone or video call, and you can actually talk for more than ten minutes. But even then, those times are usually used for a more emotional reconnection and satisfaction rather than sexual.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

Body worship to the highest degree. If you by any chance have any sort of insecurities about the size of your body, or the way you look, or the way you move, he will purge those thoughts out of your head. Funnily enough, that's not necessarily the reason he does it - he's just so in love with you and your body that any notion that it would be any less than divine practically doesn't exist to him. He'll sing your praises as if in a church, it's like you don't even get the chance to feel insecure about yourself. If you worship him in return, his mind will be fully occupied by you, and he won't be able to think of much else other than how lucky he is to have you and how honoured he is to have you treat him this way.

Loves leaving hickeys and bitemarks on you, and wants you to scratch him up, and if he's feeling extra spicy, he might blindfold you - "no distractions," he says. He would probably lose his mind if you dress up for him in pretty lingerie, and you might give him an actual heart attack if you give him a lap dance of any kind. Use that information wisely.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

You're pretty sure that you've christened practically every surface in every room in your home and he's no stranger to having you for dessert on the kitchen table, but he prefers the more cushioned areas, like the bed, the couch, and the lush carpet in your living room. The bed is definitely his favourite, because he feels like that's where the two of you can be the most at peace - it's where you can lock the rest of the world away and really just spend nothing but time with each other.

He doesn't really want to take any chances outside the safety of your home - just the idea of you getting caught and someone else seeing the two of you in such a vulnerable state (as well as your naked body) makes him uncomfortable.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):

You do this thing when he scratches your scalp or back, or gives you massages; you usually sigh out in a groan as you melt into his hands, but he swears up and down that you're purring, and for some reason it drives him wild. He'll fuck you extra gentle just to hear you make that specific sound. You think he's purring when you massage him, though, so you don't bother to counter him. If Spanish isn't your native tongue, but you use it to flirt with him, he'll get an intensely mischievous glint in his eyes and ask that you keep talking like that.

He wants to treat you with the utmost respect and care, but as mentioned before, by God, if you surprise him with lingerie or treat him to a lap dance, you will practically hear something snap in his mind.

He's a sucker for your touch, too; run your hands over his arms, trace your fingers along his skin just above the waistband of his pants or your hands over his abdomen under his shirt, play with his hair at the nape of his neck and you'll have him turned into absolute putty for you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

He won't ever cause you any sort of harm, or speak to you in a way that is anything but loving. If you tell him that you want him to slap you or choke you, he'll be horrified that you would even think he'd be capable of doing such a thing to you. A loving smack on the ass is as far as he'll take it.

He'll also never want to invite anyone else to join you in the bedroom; he wants that to be between you and him only.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

You would think he's seen the face of his maker with the way he looks at you when you go down on him. He lets you set the pace, mumbling and groaning as you work him up. He'll stroke your hair out of your face, maybe hold it up in a ponytail if it's long enough, but he does very little to control you. He starts to slur when he gets closer and will try to warn you when you pick up speed, throws his head back then goes dead silent and stick stiff for a moment until he cums in your mouth with a loud groan. If you keep sucking on him, you'll give him full body shivers and he'll let out an almost startled moan as he starts swearing and telling you to slow down - "ah, calmate, c-calmate, baby, it's- mierda, baby, slow down!"

No matter what you tell him afterwards, he will return the favour. There doesn't even need to be a favour for him to return; it's practically a principle at this point to have you cum at least twice on his tongue before he actually fucks you. Wants you on his face and will hold on to you like a vice, leaving you very little room to wiggle and barely a chance to get away from him. This is probably the thing he's the absolute boldest with; he'll tell you straight up how badly he wants to use his mouth to make you cum and lick his lips, he'll do a 'V' with his fingers and mimic a lick between them from across the room when you make eye contact, he'll stick his tongue out and stare at you through his eyelashes as a drop of saliva drips down the length of it to the tip while you're out and about and no one is watching. Is it just you or is it getting hot in here?

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):

He wants to take his time with you, but that doesn't mean he's taking it slow. Racing hearts, heaving breaths, dripping sweat; regardless of if it's fast or slow, he wants it hot and heavy. It's just shy of overwhelming, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

He'll be slower and more sensual when he feels that the moment is more emotional - when the two of you have shed tears at his return home and you need to catch up on lost time.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

If it wasn't clear by now, Alejandro is no "one-and-done"-kind of guy. Quickies are very rare; they only really happen if you were already undressed and something happens, like he gets a phone call from Rodolfo, Laswell or 141 and he needs to get going, but he doesn't want to just leave you. Firmly believes that sex deserves time in order to be truly emotionally and physically fulfilling, especially between established lovers.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? Etc.):

He'll throw some daring pickup lines and wink your way and maybe tease a bit while you're out and about, but other than that he wants to keep it inside the walls of your home. He's not afraid of trying new things, as long as it's between the two of you and as long as no one will get hurt.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):

Which one of you will tap out first? Because that's kind of what dictates how long you go on. Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's him, but all in all, you can expect to get at least 2-3 rounds out of him (or 1 really long one). How many times you cum during those rounds may or may not be irrelevant (which is often why you're the one to tap out first, and you're pretty sure he does it on purpose).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):

Cariña, reinita, preciosa - toys? When he's right there? No, no, no. "Mi corazón, since when do you need those? Am I not enough?"

He's joking, of course. He's got a massive grin on his face when he says it. If you need or prefer using toys, then he's not one to turn it down, but other than that he wants to be the one to bring you to climax. If you have a toy or two that you use while he's away, he won't fault you, but prepare for an endless amount of teasing when he returns.

"Isn't this just so much better than some piece of silicone? Can your toys ever replace this, huh?"

He's going to need some convincing if you want to use a toy on him, though. Maybe if you disguise it as a sort of challenge, or tell him very sweetly that you just want to try something, he might give it a go. But it's not going to be something that he'll think about often.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):

The two of you can tease each other endlessly while out in public or hanging out at social gatherings, sure, but once you're behind locked doors and within arms' reach of each other, you're done for. He doesn't have a whole lot of patience to drag it out anymore than he already has, and if you try to keep him at bay to keep teasing, he might actually have an aneurysm. Don't drag it out too much, it's not good for the blood pressure.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):

He's not necessarily loud, but he sure is vocal. He's always talking, breathy groans and moans into your neck and ears, he mumbles your name and numerous praises and sweet nothings. They vary in tone, from deep gruffs to some lighter and breathier sighs, but he never really goes higher than that. If you want him to shut up, you'll have to shut him up yourself. He likes hearing you, though, and if you're ever trying to stay quiet, he'll admonish you, tell you to let it out. If you stay stubborn, however, he might take it as a personal challenge.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):

He really isn't that much of a jealous person - he trusts you with his life and he knows that you would never do anything to betray him. But there sure is something that rears its' ugly head inside him when he sees other people look your way, or when he sees other men approach you when he's not there with you. He knows that they wouldn't dare get near you if you were standing next to him, so the cowards try to shoot their shot when they think he's not looking.

And this ugly thing with its' head whisper in his mind, "go over there and show everyone who they belong to," "rip those clothes off and let everyone see how well you take them." But he settles with simply sauntering up to you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into a searing hot kiss, right in front of their dumb fucking faces, pushing his tongue into your mouth and all. Once he pulls back, he turns to glare at them. They usually don't stick around for long after that, and he'll lean in close to you and tell you that he wants to go home now, because he might not show everyone how he does it, but he sure is going to take you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):

Solid 6-6.5 inches, damn near perfectly shaped and just the right thickness to hit all the sweetest spots inside you. A bit thicker in the middle, giving you a delicious stretch every time.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

Pretty high; he'll give in easily to you, but he needs just as much time with you not having sex. When he comes back home to you from longer missions and deployments, there will be about a week of you spending a whole lot of time in bed, but then it calms down a bit and leans more towards sweet cuddles and gentle kisses. You're still quite active and passionate, but the calmer moments in between are just as valuable and important.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):

It might actually take him a while to fall asleep. He wants to check in on you first, and make sure that both of you are clean and comfortable. Once that's done, however, he'll wrap you up in his arms and hold you close as he closes his eyes and drifts off.

#alejandro vargas #cod mw2 #cod mw2 fic #alejandro x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas smut #cod x reader

[ganseyth]

The Date

PREVIOUS PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

Part: 11

Pairing: Jason Todd x Female Reader

Length: 1.8k

Warnings: none

Note: this chapter may be a bit boring as its more of a filler chapter but i hope you like it nonetheless - ALSO this next chapter will more than likely be in Jason's POV - once again thank you for all the love :)

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You were going to throw up. 

 Or maybe cry. 

Either way, this was your own personal hell. 

If Jason wasn't holding your hand you would have already run upstairs to pack your bag and book it back to Gotham. 

Unfortunately, that wasn't happening. So instead you just let yourself be pulled towards your seat by Jason.

A fake smile resting on your face. 

The same one you planned on wearing for the rest of the day. 

"How are you?" you asked your ex-boyfriend, squeezing Jason's hand as he sat down next to you.

You didn't even want to acknowledge him but it was your sister's big day so you could be civil.

He shrugged in response, "Fine. Business is booming."

You forced yourself to smile and nod before responding, "Good for you." 

You couldn't believe that you just said that. If business was booming then that meant Gotham was becoming a more dangerous place for women. 

"How long do you plan on being here?" Jason asked suddenly, his hand never leaving yours. 

Your ex looked directly at you, making you swallow nervously. "Ah yes, your new boyfriend."

You could feel everyone's stares burning holes through you wondering what was going to happen next.

"You know it's polite to look someone in the eyes when they ask you a question," Jason responded calmly, his thumb brushing over the inside of your wrist as he spoke.

It was clear that Jason wasn't going to take it easy on him. 

"Apologies," your ex conceded, looking Jason in the eye. "I plan on staying for the rest of the night and leaving in the morning." He paused, "Unless you'd rather me go now."

There was no mistaking the tone of his voice, he was trying to play the victim.

Before you could answer, there was a laugh from your sister.

"Jeez guys!" she said looking between the three of you, "It's my special day and you guys are ruining all the fun!" 

She pointedly looked around, "Besides the wedding planner is coming in an hour and everyone needs to help out."

"Of course" your ex replied, giving her an award-winning smile. "I'm sure we will all be happy to help. Right, Jason?" 

Jason nodded, "Of course."

And then your father cut in, "Yes, well let's eat this amazing meal my wife made."

You smiled gratefully at him.

You could tell that your mother was happy being complimented. 

As breakfast continued the conversation stuck to wedding plans and what everyone would be tasked with.  

Your parents would help decorate the small chapel down the road while Jason, your ex, and your sister's fiancé would do all the heavy lifting. 

You were tasked with helping your sister get ready and help with any last-minute details.  

Your sister had been adamant that you were her maid of honor and therefore you had to get a new dress that your parents were more than happy to pay for. 

You were excited about finding something pretty but you were worried about leaving Jason alone with the other two. 

Especially considering that your ex had been glaring at him all morning. 

Jason, as if sensing the stress that was now radiating off of you, squeezed your hand gently before leaning over to whisper in your ear. 

"I'm a big boy," he said with a mischievous smirk, "I'll be able to handle myself." 

Relief flooded through you at the gesture and you gave him a small nod. 

Your dad sighed heavily from across the table. "Well, I believe if everyone is finished then we should probably get to work."

You nodded in agreement before getting up to help your mom with the dishes as everyone else helped clear the table.

 As soon as the last dish was put away you ran upstairs to grab your purse letting your sister know you'd be down in a second. 

Once you got downstairs, Jason was standing by the door waiting for you.

"Are you good?" he asked quietly.

You nodded, "Yeah. I'll send you a picture of my dress."

You made a grab for the door to meet your sister in her car outside but Jason stopped you. 

You froze in place as he grabbed your wrist pulling you closer to him. "Don't leave yet," he murmured. His breath ghosted over your lips making you shiver. Jason's hand slid up to rest against your cheek. "You have to kiss your boyfriend goodbye."

A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you turned your face up to him. Jason leaned down, capturing your lips gently. The kiss was sweet and you were surprised how easy it was to kiss him since you had only kissed him on the lips once before. 

After a moment or so, Jason broke away and smiled down at you lovingly. "I'll see you later."

"Okay," you said, unable to keep a wide grin off of your face. 

You left the house walking towards your sister's car. Once you were sitting in the passenger seat she turned to you smiling brightly.

"I'm surprised that your boyfriend let you out of his sight?"

"Yes he..." You trailed off thinking about what to say. "He tends to be a bit clingy." 

You almost laughed as the image of Jason following you around like a puppy came to mind. 

"He loves you," your sister said, pulling out of the driveway and onto the main access road. "I can see it in the disgusting way he looks at you." 

You shook your head at her words, knowing full well that she was wrong. You had hired the man for heaven's sake. There was no way he thought of you as anything but a client. 

But could you say the same? Jason was the perfect boyfriend. He was attentive, caring, nice to your parents and he loved to read. 

What wasn't there to love? 

Love? 

Did you love Jason? 

You honestly didn't think so. Sure you wanted to spend time with him and hang out together. 

After this whole fake dating thing, you had hoped the two of you could become friends and occasionally go to the bookstore together laughing about the time you hired him for the holidays. 

But love? 

"I don't know," you finally whispered, breaking your thoughts. 

"Oh stop being so negative," your sister retorted, rolling her eyes at you. "I see the way you look at him and it's obvious you guys feel the same way about each other. I mean even your ex noticed it this morning at breakfast. I guess you're not after his money after all."  

You opened your mouth to object but the words caught in your throat. She was right. You did like him. Maybe not love but you didn't want your fake relationship to be over. You wanted it to be real and you most definitely weren't in it for the money.

"We're here," she said as she parked the car in front of a small dress store. 

As you both walked inside you noticed the store was filled with all kinds of dresses. 

You decided this was going to take longer than you thought. 

As your sister approached the woman at the cash register you followed closely behind. 

"Can I help you, sweetheart?" The lady at the counter asked with a warm smile.

"Oh yes ma'am," your sister said smiling sweetly, "I believe I have a dress put on hold. It should be under the name Penguin." 

The sales later stiffened at the name. She stared at you for a moment before turning back to look at your sister with a smile.

"Oh yes! We received it this morning."

"Excellent," your sister replied, flashing the woman a quick smile. "I'd like to try it on to show my sister." 

"Sure honey. Let me go get it while the two of you sit in the dressing area."

Your sister led you over to the changing room where you took a seat on the sofa. She started talking, explaining everything that she knew about the dress and how your ex was more than happy to get her anything she wanted. 

You smiled through it all, nodding along at every word she said as the sales lady made her way back with the dress on a rack. 

It was stunning. But it most definitely cost a fortune. A fortune that would come back to bite them.

"This one's gorgeous," the saleswoman said proudly, holding the white dress out for your sister to see. 

"I know right!" Your sister said happily.

"It's stunning." You said politely to your sister. "You'll be the prettiest bride." 

She gave you a warm smile and headed towards the dressing room to try it on. 

 You stayed where you were on the couch as you heard your phone chime in your bag beside you.

Quickly reaching into the bag you pulled out the phone and saw a text from Jason. 

Jason: Find a dress? 

You laughed at the text. Did he think dress shopping was that easy? 

You: We've only been here for 20 minutes! 

Jason: That seems like enough time. 

You: Men 

Jason: Don't "men" me :(

You: "Boys" ;)

You grinned as you waited for his reply. However, your phone was long forgotten when your sister stepped out of the dressing room. 

Looking at the beautiful white dress your sister wore, you couldn't help but gasp in awe. It was one thing to see the dress on a hanger but when your sister wore it, you thought it was specifically made for her and only her. 

"It's amazing isn't it?" your sister asked, taking notice of your reaction.

"Wow..." you breathed, trying to contain your amazement. "This dress was meant for you." 

Your sister chuckled softly, "I bet we could find you something just as pretty. But not too pretty."

You looked up into her eyes, "I don't think anything could upstage that."

Your sister shook her head slightly, "No I guess not." She paused briefly before waving the sales lady down to put the dress in its garment bag. 

Once that was all said and done and your sister was changed back into her normal clothes she turned toward you. 

"I'm thinking we get you a red dress," she mused looking at the red hoodie you were wearing, "I'm sure Jason would approve and didn’t you ex like the color red?" 

You blushed at the thought of dressing up for Jason but you froze at the thought of your ex. You wouldn’t be dressing for him. 

You thought back to Jason. What would his reaction be if you walked down the aisle wearing a red tight-fitting floor-length dress? 

It had to be red. 

"Red it is," you agreed.

Your sister smirked knowingly as she linked her arm with yours, leading you around the store.

It probably took around an hour and a half until you found what you were looking for. 

 After trying it on you decided it was the one. It was a dark red dress with a plunging but modest neckline and thin straps that fit snugly. You were a little nervous about the slit but when you showed your sister she swore you had to get it. 

Before exiting the dressing room you snapped a picture and sent it to Jason hoping he would like it. 

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[heongiu]

Hellooo again, may I request sugar daddy and sugar mommy headcanons with Gojo, Suguru, Nanami, and Mei Mei? I love them but especially Mei Mei rn, like imagine her sitting on your face whenever you ask for smth 😫😫

Thankyou for the request Anon! This is such a fun request sjdkajd

Gojo Satoru

Ah ah a typical Sugar daddy yes yes

Spoils you A LOT. A lot more than he should

Mostly materialistic things but whatever you want sweetheart.

Oh you liked that dress? It's at your doorstep with a matching shoe pair

Oh you like going to this restaurant? Don't worry he'll plan a date for you there.

He's got loads of money to spend, and he does that on you.

And if you don't like being spoiled, just so you know he doesn't care. He'll still do it.

Even gave you his card one day, but you returned it to him soon. (Yeah you're a pretty grounded person)

Kento Nanami

Likes to spoil you, BUT, there's certain limits to him?

He does buy you whatever you want and like, but it's not as if he recklessly spends his money on you.

And if you guys are married. dont worry I suppose he's saving money to spoil his kid

ACTS OF SERVICEE!! ACTS OF SERVICE!!

He Likes to help you out in any way like any possible way he can.

If you're having trouble at work, he'll tell you to rest and probably cook you something good.

He takes a good care to always choose what you like the most.

Flowers ,bouquets, fragrances, candles, just vintage love I suppose ;")

Geto Suguru

Nanami but if he was a flirt.

Acts of service once again!!

All the little things he does for you, you wouldn't even notice but that's his most effective way you to spoil you.

He doesn't much believe in materialistic things, but I suppose he can compromise for you.

He rather believes in small gestures.

Like kissing you whenever you come home from work and asking you about your day, how you've been and what you had done

Cooking your favourite dish for you when you're sad, or just cooking for you because he loves you.

He makes sure you don't get too tired when you're working overtime at home, so he massages your feet gently.

He takes a good notice of your mood and your mental well being, nothing is much more important to him than you being content!

He loves to gift you those exclusive chocolates a lot (and if you don't like sweets take this as anything else!), also jewelleries and scented candles.

Mei Mei

MOMMYYY!! SUGAR MOMMY!!

Female Satoru Gojo ;)

Plus she spoils you like 2x more.

Everyday there's new things you never imagined there to be for you.

Expensive? What's that word?

She'll give you the most beautiful and expensive things.

If you like makeup, she'll gift you tons of it.

If you like dresses, don't worry, your wardrobe will be full of them now.

And if you refuse you're not getting away with it, it's still all yours haha.

She probably does sit on your face when you beg for it.

She teases you for being so spoiled by her, but she just loves you so dearly.

#jujutsu kaisen #JJK #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen geto #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jujutsu kaisen Mei Mei #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x reader #kento nanami x reader #kento nanami #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru #mei mei #Mei Mei x reader

[compacflt]

Okay, so I was re-reading your Slider one-shot for like the twentieth time, and what really struck me (beyond the brilliance of your writing, and the way you’ve presented the disillusionment of growing up, expecting the world to be a certain way, only to realize that life doesn’t quite work out the way you think it will, when you’re seventeen), is the casual sexism just tossed ‘round by our main characters!! :o We have canonical evidence of both Ice and Mav being pretty sexist (what with “the plaque for the alternates is in the ladies’ room” and the downright stalker-ish behavior exhibited by Mav at the O-club…), but it still surprised me a lil’ when twenty-y/o Ice was just like: “The Soviet Union did the impossible and taught women to drive” —and I realized that ah, he truly was born in 1959, or something. There’s little scenes throughout your story where I find myself wondering, which one of them is better, in this sense: When Ice tells Mav that Sarah isn’t talking to him ‘cause of his combat kills, justifies it by saying: “You know how women are”, and Mav tells him all women aren’t the same… I thought that maybe, it was Mav; but then later, Ice shows a distinctive amount of empathy for Juno, sees and respects her for the skilled pilot that she is… and I thought that maybe, it’s Ice after all—he does seem to be more progressive and accepting than Mav, in general? It also made me wonder, that if either of them had been a woman, would they even have respected the other person enough to consider them to be a rival??—or would it have a been a mildly-amusing circus side show for them, to have a female pilot at TOPGUN?

Ty for the ask anon!! ice is more socially progressive than mav yes.

But—maybe this is my experience growing up in one of the bluest counties in Commiefornia and then going to one of the most leftist-coded colleges in one of the most leftist-coded cities in The World; uhh, even if a white man votes D all the time & has professional respect for women/minorities to their faces etc, get him in a room with a bunch of other white men, especially in a masculine and competitive environment like the gym or the navy, and uh. progressive or not, what you get is a lot of “The Soviet Union did the impossible & taught women to drive.”

And it was the 1980s. (As a reminder, in top gun’s 1986, less than 45% of Americans even approved of interracial marriage.) It sucks to say it, but if Ice was making fun of Cougar for quitting the navy cause of his psych issues such as they may be, and openly calling bullshit on Maverick’s MiG story in front of everyone, I am quite confident in saying he Would Not respect a female pilot to her face—if they were the same rank. At the same rank, it’s a competition. All weaknesses, even perceived biological ones, are to be exploited and called to attention. —But, once he’s advanced in rank, proven his own superiority, he’s more inclined to favor a meritocratic “sex doesn’t matter just fly good” attitude, ergo his relationship w/ “Juno” (she’s just a literary symbol to show that Ice may have respect for other minorities in the Navy “your career speaks for itself” but NOT FOR HIMSELF as a closeted man). This “who cares about gender/race just fly good” attitude is probably where 50s+ Maverick lands too, which is why no issues with Phoenix.

but jesus GOD maverick is a sexist in the original Top Gun. That’s why I wrote the prologue to WWGATTAI—a part of me definitely believes both he and Ice are definitively queer, but a part of me also wonders, are they just also conditioned to dismiss women as intellectual/societal equals because of their time in the 1980s male-dominated Navy? CAN they really only have a truly equal relationship with another man? I have no idea what my Ice’s sexual orientation is for exactly this reason. Yes, he’s functionally gay by the end of it, and that’s what I keep calling him—but sexuality is fluid & complicated. It’s definitely more-than possible he’s mostly straight and it’s just the circumstances of his wildly intense trauma-bond relationship with Maverick that led to their relationship as I wrote it. If you don’t LIKE/understand/respect women, and only feel at home/excited by committing acts of male-typified violence with the few men you respect, how does that bend your definition of the word straight? ...its still straight, but only straight-ish!

not to take it a step further, but WHY ELSE is canon maverick single in TGM? he canonically can’t make it work with women until he retires from the navy!!! he doesnt know how!!! His military environment is not conducive to normal long-term relationships with civilian women!!!

#and it’s well well documented that career military service does this to you! #Jesus look at cops. 40% etc. #yeah mil/LEO relationships with women are historically quite bad. #if you only respect men & then a man comes onto you—might be easier to sustain that relationship than with a woman you do not respect #I forget where i read it but this is the element of the homosocial vs the homosexual. i want to say Foucault but I think thats incorrect #EVE KOSOFSKY SEDGWICK. from her 'between men: English literature & male homosocial desire.' I think she's the preeminent homosocial scholar #if ur interested in 'further reading' not to sound like a geek #fellas is it gay to like women #after all…women kiss men…so if u kiss a woman ur kissing something that’s kissed another man…gay #ice (mid-makeout): well mavericks kissed women before so really this is the most heterosexual thing i could do #anyway #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #top gun #top gun maverick #icemav #asks #edts notes #mav is a social libertarian live & let live & keep the govt out of my bedroom (except for my marriage license uwu) #ice is a social moderate liberal. donates to actblue firmly believes diversity is the militarys greatest strength etc. #(i hope this isn’t too provocative to say but) look at ices outfit in tgm. libcoded. those gay little round glasses? solid lib. #the interracial marriage stat is from Gallup btw; 94% in 2021. weve come a long way. a lot has changed since 1986. #but our fav characters are FROM 1986 too so... we still cant forget that

[precious-little-scoundrel]

how is ida and rosie’s sex life given that ida was raped but rosie would technically also be her “first”?

and was maureen raped? i dont think she was like it wasn’t mentioned that i caught but then again maybe they all were? Can you go into detail about what maureen’s tortures/punishments were in the “prestigious female camp?”

Ah, ok, thank you for asking! I intend to remain nebulous in the actual fics except for a few specific blurbs. For two reasons:

In my opinion I think it feels more realistic to the times and helps it read more like a narrative of these women to not be graphically detailed. Except in the case of Ida who will give a detailed deposition, which will become a fic of its own.

Now, as I realize lots of readers may not wish to read those gruesome details, when I do write such things it’ll be in fairly isolated fics and so everyone won’t be missing anything besides those details -and a little Rosie x Ida backstory. I don’t think everyone would appreciate it being intermingled consistently.

Secondly: some of this trauma in story telling is better left vague to evoke general emotions, imo.

However, for asks? I love clarifying...

TW BELOW: RAPE, SEXUAL VIOLENCE

First off Maureen -yes, in my canon she was. Specifically mentioned that someone stood on her hands while someone else did it. Personally I like to think she scrapped hard and probably bit some fingers off. Perhaps she was considered too much trouble for repeat attacks. But yes, she was raped. And to keep accurate to those poor Soviet Female Officers, most of these girls probably were subjected to the same. Hence why the majority were asking Ida about accidental pregnancies from it.

Ida and Rosie— it’s better and worse in that this man knows everything that happened to her. Every gruesome detail, thanks to her deposition. It both gives her comfort and vulnerability around him, it instills in him heaps of patience and protectiveness. He’s a nurturing sort anyways, and he enjoys her companionship, you bet that he would be devoted to this woman even though it takes ages for her to be comfortable with much of anything.

I do think Ida becomes pretty enamored with kissing, she’s never done it before really and Rosie is no fumbling prom date, he’s a sensuous man who cherishes his plane’s wings -how much more the shell of his lover’s soul?! I think it’s many years before they fully consummate their marriage, there were times she thought she was ready and yet -never underestimate what can trigger trauma, even if your rational mind wants a thing, try telling that to your psyche. Rosie in many ways has a more realistic expectation of how long and slow it might take, and he’s willing to actively wait and love her through it.

Eventually they do have a happy and very deep sexual bond due to the very contrast of trauma and gentle specialness of Robert being her first.

#tw: rape #those who can #TWC asks

[xalygatorx]

Worthy (2015) | Chapter 5, "Matters of Change"

Disappearing sporadically in public spaces quickly becomes Cora Dempsey's least concerning problem when suddenly she captures the attention of the forming Avengers Initiative, the World Security Council, and Asgard's fallen prince all in one week. And the universe is only just getting started with her.

Worthy is a slow-burn SFW Marvelverse (films) romance between Loki and a female OC. For additional details on what canon is used, see the Prologue post.

Summary: Loki is sent on an errand and is a little too successful. The two have a heart-to-heart and get to know each other a little better. The more Cora realizes who she’s dealing with now, the more Loki realizes the same of her.

Pairing: Loki x Fem!OC

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2.3k

Cora's limbs felt stiff and pained when she roused the next morning, her eyelids heavy even as she lifted them to peer around the room. For the first few seconds of waking, she had a lapse in memory and wondered where she was. However, realization dawned and she sighed, turning over in her makeshift bed of old blankets and a flour sack she'd found in a few of the dust-coated boxes toward the back where the light-switch had been.

She wasn't awake for more than a couple minutes when her stomach growled quietly. It wasn't like Cora was surprised she was ravenous—after all, she hadn't eaten in probably twenty-four hours by now—but it was a bit of an inconvenience for her body to demand food when she had none to give it. Maybe if she just snuck out and went somewhere nearby, she wouldn't need to aggravate the man who was already pretty aggravated with her, but also blessedly keeping her off SHIELD's radar for the time being.

Cora started to get up when she glanced toward the opposite wall, surprised to see Loki and even more surprised to see him asleep.

He sat like the warriors she'd seen in old paintings, his back against the wall and his legs pulled up closer to his chest. His arms rested over his kneecaps and, while she was sure he could spring to action at the drop of a hat, he looked so peaceful. So peaceful, in fact, she wasn't sure if he was even the same person she'd been dealing with the day before. There was none of the anger, the bitterness, or the exasperation etched into the subtle lines on his face; he looked young and, if anything, he looked quite serene.

It didn't last long though; within seconds of her looking at him, he'd opened his eyes and they'd immediately focused on her, his brow creasing with a question. "Going somewhere?" he asked quietly, pointedly.

She felt the chill seep into her bones just from his tone and she wondered how someone could have that much influence with only their voice. She shook it off and said, "Yes, actually."

Loki hadn't been entirely expecting her straightforward answer without at least a little fearful cowering, but he was starting to get the impression that there were absolute multitudes of differences between this woman and the others he'd known in his long lifetime, and not only the mortal ones. "And what makes you think that?"

"I'm hungry and I want food," she murmured matter-of-factly.

"Ah yes. I forgot how pathetically needy your little systems are," he sighed before standing, running a hand absently over his hair. "Very well. Where may I procure food?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I said I'd go," Cora argued, frowning as she got up, too, trying to right her tousled locks while maintaining a staring match with him.

He looked at her in that strange way he did sometimes, like he was measuring her up and taking apart everything she was to put it into a more understandable equation. "No."

"Excuse me?"

Loki glared and retorted, "You heard me, mortal."

Lifting up the hammer she still had tied loosely around her wrist, Cora scowled and murmured quietly, "I will use this."

He raised a brow and pressed a single fingertip against the hammer, guiding it down from his face. He wasn't willing to admit it, but his jaw still smarted a little from where she'd hit it the night before. To his slight consolation, he noticed that the knuckles of her dominant hand—which now held Mjolnir in only a marginally less threatening grip—were bruised. Though he paused to wonder why that sight bothered him as well…

"Are you even listening?"

Loki blinked and looked at her. "There was nothing said worth my listening, but you listen close," he said as her expression turned comically affronted and he felt more than ever that she might actually swing that infernal weapon at him. "I am denying your request because of that."

"I only threatened you with it because—"

"Sh, just listen to me a moment," he murmured with a strain for patience that surprised both of them. "It would be conspicuous and warrant questions. However, if you were to separate it from yourself, it may be recalled. Not only that, but you are wanted by the government sect; they will be looking for you. My face is not yet known here."

Cora frowned before gustily sighing; he made a good point. "Want to give me a general sense of where we are so I can tell you where to go?" At his frown of displeasure at her having forgotten that he didn't know their exact location, she sighed and rephrased, "Have you seen any places around here that look like they sell food?"

"There was a shop I passed yesterday that appeared to have breads in the window…"

"Good, okay, go there and… Do I really only have a fifty?" she murmured with a frown when she pulled her money from her pocket. She shrugged and instructed, "All right, go back to that shop and get two—no, three—plain bagels with cream cheese for me and get something for yourself, too. Then give the person behind the counter this. She'll give you smaller counts of money back. Bring that and the food back here. Understand?"

"Are you giving me orders?" he asked, not looking at all happy about being talked to like a child.

"Yes, I am, because you're new here."

"I have used currency before, you know."

"I'm sure you have."

"But what is a 'bagel'?"

"What depressing world did you come from where there aren't bagels?" He scowled and she waved her hands a little, the hammer swinging a bit and smacking her lightly in the ribs. "Okay, okay, I was kidding! Jokes, remember, I'm still under the impression that I'm funny! Now, go."

"…Just stay here," Loki growled before he walked out of the warehouse.

Forty-five minutes later, Cora was listening to her stomach moan again when the door opened. At first she panicked because she didn't see the familiar hulking form of black and green she was getting used to, but she soon realized it was Loki, just…

"What are you wearing?" she asked in surprise.

Loki looked over his shoulder at her with a blank expression before giving a small, "Oh," of recognition and dropping the illusion of a blue button-up shirt and jeans from his frame, his Asgardian attire returning beneath. "Blending in." Cora had to admit, she hadn't minded what he'd picked out. She minded even less the mouthwatering smell of fresh baked goods that hit her after a few seconds of the door being closed. "Did it not look inconspicuous?"

"You looked fine. The blue was a good color on you," Cora answered honestly. "I hope my change didn't fade along with your illusion though." She only had so much money and if she was going to be on the run for a while, she'd need to really use it sparingly. Luckily, their breakfast only would've cost around six bucks.

Loki held out his hand and dropped a few coins into her hand. She waited patiently for the rest and it was only then that she looked at the box he was carrying, noting the massive size of it. "…And the rest?"

"What 'rest'?"

"…You spent forty-nine dollars on bagels?"

Loki got a bit defensive as he noted, "I require sustenance as well."

"How many bagels are in that box?"

"…Sixty."

"SIXTY."

"Yes, sixty! Is there a problem?"

"You better be eating about fifty-six of them. Hell, yes, it's a problem! I only had fifty dollars!"

Loki didn't like the way her incredulity was making him scramble to explain, almost as if he valued her opinion of him or something equally outlandish, but he hastened grumpily, "Look, I will replenish your funds and this will be more than enough food for a while yet, so…" He trailed off when he realized she'd broken into a fit of laughter. "What amuses you?" he demanded, his face reddening a little.

Cora had been mad at first. Rather feverishly so. But the fact that this alien god-who-would-be-king had dropped nearly fifty dollars on a box of bagels because "he was hungry, too," had gradually sent her from frustration to endearment then, ultimately, to sheer amusement.

"Nothing," she laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. Perhaps it was because this was easily the most uncomplicated, absurd problem she'd faced in the past few days. It felt good to have a bit of a laugh. "Did they at least give you enough stuff to put on them?"

Loki nodded tightly and inclined his head toward a bag he had balanced on top of the box.

"And a knife?" she asked, still smiling as she looked at him. He checked the bag and shook his head. "All right, I bet there's something of use in here. Go ahead and start." She got up and went to scour through a few of the boxes at the back of the warehouse, where more trivial supplies seemed to be kept, though he heard her laugh a little more once she thought she was out of earshot.

Loki sat down against the wall and opened the box, taking out one of the circular breads before tearing off a piece and experimentally popping it into his mouth. He had to admit, it wasn't bad.

He'd gotten through two before Cora returned, a pack of napkins and a box of plastic knives in her hand. She sat down next to him—a bit too close for his immediate comfort, though she'd not meant anything by it—and tore open the plastic with the edge of her nail, taking out a knife and opening the bag for one of the cream cheese tubs that had come with the obnoxiously large box of bagels. She was still giggling about it, but she was able to keep silent, which she thought was enough until he asked, "Do you normally vibrate when you eat?"

"Shut up," she told him, a tiny laugh escaping her and earning an indignant glare from the god at her side when he realized she was still humored by the stunt he'd pulled. Cora popped the lid off the tub and dipped the edge of her knife in before slathering cream cheese across the half she had balanced in her hand. He watched her and, a moment later, copied by putting some on the edge of his own, just enough to taste, finding that somehow with that addition, the already-delectable bagels managed to get even better.

Content that her appetite was finally being appeased, Cora started on the second half of her first bagel, but she'd sobered from her laughter. She really couldn't remember the last time she'd honestly laughed, at least for the few weeks this dangerous dance with SHIELD had been going on. Loki noticed the change in her just seconds after it took place, not looking at her as he asked, "Has your anger toward me renewed?"

"Why would that matter to you?" she asked a bit rhetorically though he was wondering the same thing. "No and I wasn't angry with you before either. Maybe a little frustrated, but not anymore."

"Then what ails you?"

Cora frowned before giving a general wave of her hand. "All of this. How things could've changed so much in, well, just three weeks or so."

"It is hardly something for which to look so somber. You have not been captured—by the agents, anyway—and you are alive. You have power, is that not pleasing to you?"

Cora shook her head a little after some thought, her eyes downcast toward her knife, which was absently milling cheese into the very pores of her breakfast. "No. Not in this world," she said quietly. She smiled a little bitterly. "I'm a freak. The looks on those people's faces in Central Park, in the subway, when I…"

"Most do not value what they do not understand, they spurn it, but why lay so low as to accept their misconceptions? Who cares how they look at you?"

"You don't understand," she said and, above her downturned gaze, Loki opened his mouth to argue that yes, he did, more than anyone, but he stopped, his left hand tightening. Even so, his frame had subconsciously relaxed beside hers throughout their feast and conversations, and that did not change even then.

They ate in silence for a bit longer before they'd demolished about a third of the box, Loki having done most of the damage. As he was working on his last, Cora heard him say, "We will work on it in the time we have here."

"What?" Cora asked in confusion, looking up at him.

He didn't look at her, but he did clarify in a rather stony voice after swallowing the last bit of his breakfast, "Your gifts. We will work on them."

Cora wanted to argue that they weren't gifts, that the strange invisibility thing she did and the capability for her to lift the hammer were the curses that had brought SHIELD upon her head, but she didn't. If anything, she was surprised he was offering at all.

Learn what you can, from who you can, right? she figured silently as she nodded in confirmation that she would indeed see what he could teach her.

Next chapter: Chapter 6, Lessons in Worth

#loki laufeyson #loki x fem!oc #loki x oc #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki fluff #thor odinson #thor movies #thor the dark world #avengers #marvel cinematic universe #angst with a happy ending #slow burn

[mannazandwyrd]

On a possible lost name of Loki:

I have speculated previously that, in order to incorporate new ideas into heathenry, we not only need to be reading current scholars’ work and revising our ideas to fit the currently available evidence into the Religion With Homework(™); we also need to find ways to evaluate unverified personal gnosis (UPG) and shared gnosis (SPG) from devotees for possible incorporation into new theology. With this blog post, I’m going to put my money where my mouth is.

I have a longstanding UPG (from multiple pendulum-and-alphabet-board conversations with Loki over the course of months, confirmed by other divination methods) that Loki was once also named ‘Aceilon’. Loki tells me it’s pronounced with a hard C, Ah-Keel-on. (Yes, I have very enthusiastic permission from the aspect of Loki who I interact with to share this ‘lost name’.)

There doesn’t appear to be a shred of independent evidence for that name ever being used (although perhaps I’m not looking in the right places). So, how does one evaluate this new piece of information?

Well, we could discard it immediately based on it being UPG. We could ask for independent confirmation from other devotees, which would make it SPG, still a fairly tenuous status.

Or we could measure it against what we do know about Loki. My last post looked at a number of possible etymologies of Old Norse ‘Loki’. (Probably not all those etymologies are completely sound. I am Not A Linguist and not able to evaluate them myself.) William Sayers, in “Norse ‘Loki’ As A Praxonym”, notes that many of the names of deities and other entities in Old Norse myths give us information about those who bear them.

So, if ‘Aceilon’ is a lost name for Loki, it should reflect Loki’s personality and other qualities in its etymology.

I’m not sure what language ‘Aceilon’ would be. It may have the form of a Continental Celtic god name, or one from an even earlier bronze- or stone-age culture. We do know that Norse mythology probably resulted from the meeting of multiple belief systems during the Migration Age or earlier, so a non-Germanic etymology isn’t out of the question, but it would still likely have a Proto-Indo-European root.

(‘Aceilon’ may be related in some way to the Greek mythical figure Achilles, but Old Norse ‘Loki’ likely predates Achilles’ stories, given that some of the proposed roots of ‘Loki’ are proto-Germanic… so I’m treating Achilles as a distraction.)

Let’s start with the suffix of ‘Aceilon’: -on as a suffix meaning “one who [preceding verb]” is currently found in French and was also used in Old French - possibly, via Ancient Greek, ultimately from Proto-Indo-European *-os (creates nouns from verb stems)) or a diminutive (in French, Old French); some of the French words with this suffix derive from *-onos, the corresponding Celtic singulative suffix (seen in some pre-Roman Continental Celtic male deity names, with -ona as the female form), which probably has the same PIE root.

Okay, so using that gives us a working hypothesis that ‘Aceilon’ means “One Who [Verb]s”, where the verb was ‘aceil’ or ‘akeil’ or ‘ceil’ or ‘keil’, or the root words that became those sounds. What survivals of such a verb could exist?

1. It could have survived in Gaelic as ceilidh, a party of neighbours with music or stories, which comes from an Old Irish word céile meaning companion, follower, or servant [fitting for the travel companion of Odin, Hoenir, and Thor, and for the plot-driver of so many stories]. The Old Irish word in turn comes from proto-Celtic *kelyos, further etymology uncertain but possibly from PIE *ḱey- ‘to lie down, to settle’ [which ties in with Sayers’ notes on Old Norse lúka as a root of Loki], which is related to PIE *tḱey- ‘to cultivate, to settle, to live’ and PG *haimaz ‘settlement, village, house, home’ [interesting in light of Eldar Heide’s discussion of Loki as a house/hearth wight or vätte].

2. It may have survived into modern German as keil ‘wedge, (heraldry) pile’, from protoWestGermanic *kinan, protoGermanic *kinana (split, crack open, germinate), from PIE *ǵeyH- (“to break open, germinate”). [Loki as a fertility deity, or the one who breaks open situations where there is an impasse?]

Keil is also a city in Schleswig-Holstein, Germany, established as a Danish village on Kieler Förde (German) and Kiel Bugt (Danish, ‘Keil Bay’), a harbour on the Baltic sea, not far from Hedeby/Haithabu where worship of Sirius/Lokabrenna was recorded.

3. English ceil (as in conceal or ceiling) could be another survival, and things get quite interesting with its PIE root: *ḱel- (verb) to cover or (noun) incline, with the sense of a hill. [Loki as a chthonic deity, consistent with Liberman’s etymology of Loki.]

The following words all come from PIE *ḱel-:

- Ceil (English, Irish, verb) ‘to hide, conceal’ , from Old Irish ceilid, from Proto-Celtic *keleti; compare Welsh celu, Latin cēlō, Old English helan. [In Loka Tattur, Loki is the only deity who succeeds in concealing the boy to protect him. In addition to its meaning, Ceil is a homophone with seal, one of the animals Loki transforms into.

- Hel (Old Norse, Loki’s daughter and her realm) from *haljo (Proto-Germanic) ‘netherworld’

- Hella (Frisian), Hylja (Old Norse), and Hill (modern English) from *huljaną (Proto-Germanic) ‘to cover, veil’

- Holda (Old Swedish), Hallen (and thus Frau Halle?)(Low German), Halda (Old Norse) from *haldaną (Proto-Germanic) ‘to hold, to keep’ [Holda/Holle/Halle might be be related to Loki’s mother Laufey or daughter Hel, and a disguised Loki says “Let Hel hold what she has.”]

- Proto-Germanic: *helmô (handle or boat helm) [Loki steers/helms the ship in Loka Tattur and at Ragnarok]

- Modern English Hall (as in house) from PG *hallo [Loki as a hearth deity]

- Proto-Germanic *hēliz ‘deceitful, treacherous’ [Loki’s main attribute in Snorri’s Eddas]

- Proto-Germanic *huliso ‘case, covering, pod’ [the acorn Loki carries Idunn home in] and cognates in Italic languages meaning ‘outside, aspect, color’ [the gift Loki-as-Lodurr gives to humanity in the creation myth]

- Middle English helen (to conceal, clothe, shelter, protect, etc) from OE helan from Proto-Germanic *helana (“to conceal, stash, receive stolen goods” [Loki as thief of Freya’s necklace]

- Old Saxon helian ‘to heal, to cure, to save’ [Loki saves a child in Loka Tattur; there are some UPGs in the community of Loki as a healer but that’s not an attested description.]

- Old High German helen ‘to brighten’ [or illuminate, as with a (pine) torch - kenaz.]

- Proto-Germanic *hul(th)az ‘gracious, loyal, devoted, inclined toward’ [This could be Loki’s wife Sigyn’s description.]

- Old Norse kyllir (sack, scrotum), Latin coleus (testicles), via Greek [...and then Loki tied his balls to the goat.]

For transparency, I discarded modern English keel as a survival of the root of ‘Aceilon’ because its’ PIE root isn’t a verb, and modern French echelon because the sk- sounds in its linguistic roots didn’t match the sounds we need to find.

Without any cherry-picking I have found three possible Proto-Indo-European root words for ‘Aceilon’ that are verbs, with descendant words that can be used to describe Loki, and in one case a family member. Which suggests that ‘Aceilon’ may indeed be a lost name of Loki, and the UPG is worth sharing for further evaluation.

Hey mutuals who are linguists, please feel free to tear this to shreds. As I said, I am Not A Linguist, and I welcome your critiques. I’m really curious if any of these three proposed roots stand up to academic scrutiny, despite the weird circumstances around the proposed name’s emergence.

I do hope this exercise points toward ways that pagan monastics can evaluate and discuss the validity of devotees’ personal gnosis for inclusion in new theological writings.

#lokean #seven days of lokabrenna #post 3 of 7 #long post #Aceilon? #evaluating UPG #norse pagan theology #etymology #linguistics #norse polytheism #going out on a limb with this one #devotional polytheism #upg #pagan gnosticism

[rocketturtle4]

Eclipse Episode 10

@thegalwhorants @wen-kexing-apologist @plantsarepeopletoo @grapejuicegay thanks for holding my hand

Of episode 11? Yes I fecking am.

Thoughts in brief (lol) I started taking these while I went fyi so they may feel a bit different from the previous lots idk

The way Akk changes his WHOLE POSTURE when Not!Max says the school motto is telling me everything I need to know here

with bonus award mention! Scholarship goals yada yada

GUYS THUA WAS SHAKING (I've done him dirty)

"What happened today has shaken me, whatever I used to uphold or believe in...has changed" - Thua

Okay so I still think he stole the diary and instigated the protestors but I am less convinced he's behind the other stuff but then WHO IS? also the message after the fire made me think it wasn't him too

Chadok thinks its Akk, is it actually Namo???

Everything about Akk and Ayan on the beach

"Mes managed" "Your time and his are different"

Then the fricken bedroom scene????????

CAN I PLEASE RELATE TO ONE CHARACTER AT A TIME, AKK IS TAKING UP TO MUCH SPACE FOR AYAN TO DO THIS TO ME

and Akk agrees, and he's SO HAPPY but it's not been dealt with yet right he hasn't grappled with his identity

See this is what I mean, he hasn't let go of anything yet he's trying to carry it all and he's going to break I can FEEL IT (I am ALSO PROJECTING WAY TO HARD ONTO AKK IF YOU WEREN'T AWARE - This show basically opened up my DO NOT READ journal from feckin highschool and put it on my screen AH)

THROUGH THE FRICKEN BARS

OTHER PEOPLE NOTICED TOO

AND NOW THEYVE RUN AWAY AHHHHH

for the record I also thoroughly enjoy all the Khan Thua stuff that is going on, it's SO GOOD. It's just that because EVERYTHING IS GOOD (AND I AM PERSONALLY DYING FROM AKKS EVERYTHING) I keep forgetting to mention them

He's SO CLOSE AAAAA

And now they're both at the protest

WAIT DID THUA NOT KNOW ABOUT KHAN being bruce wayne???

"Stop the Suppalo curse" LIKE I STILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE CURSE IS AND WHERE IT CAME FROM?

Can I please go back to my regularly scheduled unrelateable highschool characters because this:

Is TOO MANY RELATEABLE CHARACTERS

OH MY GOD KHAN SAID IT

Good on Thua for clarifying about the kiss

Yay theyre together, WHY DOES EVERYTHING FEEL SO OMINOUS

NO NO NO NO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

at least Ayan is hearing this

reference to the armband and upholding the honour AHHHHH

oh god Aye came in

He's So scared

But THEN AYE JUST LEFT

oh he's gone after Chadok, I get the urge but it's NOT GOING TO WORK

That ship has sailed teacher chick

The breath Ayan takes to try and regulate yelling at the female teacher

THE HUG

Ayan: "I'm worried about you Akk" YOU AND ME BOTH

OH GOD AKK DON"T PUT ON A BRAVE FACE

AYAN IS TRAUMATISED ALREADY OKAY

is he finally going to tell him about his uncle????

OH GOD NO, He did but AKKs Crying HeLP

the neCKLACE

"right now you need it more than I do" CAN I HAVE AN AYAN PLEASE

OKAY real quick

if they use Akks attachment to Ayans uncle to break the schools hold on him without causing him to have a total breakdown I will be okay with this

Next episode doesnt LOOK scary but I AM STILL SCARED

Still confused whether the necklace WAS the uncles or if it was GIVEN by the uncle

Is everyone on the same side now?

Is anyone going to clue Wat in about the fact that his two besties are now in gay relationships? (Like he'll be chill but he should be told)

How much pressure is teacher chick under?

ONTO EPISODE 11

I'm just planning to react again fyi probably with less screenshots

#The Eclipse #rturts is wondering #the eclipse the series #roc reacts to the eclipse

[queenharumiura]

((Neo prioritizing working on things for NPC build up? Yes. I don’t know how relevant this would be to others as I’m not sure how often I’d end up utilizing them for whatever reason but hm. I’m just here to set the scene for things so- kekw don’t mind me just having my own fun))

Word count: 4,235

Trigger warnings: Blood tw, and injuries tw

-

Humming down the street, Haru was listening to music as she was studying. She had just finished shopping for some fabric, and she was on her way back home so she could get started. While getting some light exercise by walking home, she had brought out her notebook that she jotted notes into to study from. It was a good use of her time if you were to ask her. She stops in her tracks when a cat zooms past her foot from an alleyway. It looked like it had been frightened off. Pausing her music and popping an earbud out of her ear, she looks in the direction the cat ran from. There wasn’t a sound of another cat hissing or a dog snarling from the dark alley. She couldn’t hear anything amiss at first, so she was about to pop the earbud back into her ear, chalking it up to ‘silly cat behavior’ before she heard a suspicious sound in the alleyway followed by what she could perceive to be quiet curses.

Stowing her items away into her bag, she walks into the alleyway. Perhaps not the smartest idea from yours truly, but Haru was curious as much as she is concerned. “Hello? Is anyone here?” She calls out hesitantly. The sound of something sliding and falling to the ground could be heard. Squinting, she finally notices a slumped figure behind a stack of boxes. It looked like one of the other stacked boxes had fallen over and that’s what she heard earlier. Inspecting one of the boxes to her right, she notices a crimson smear, and she finally notices the smell of blood.

Someone was injured. Her heart skips a beat and she rushes to check on the fallen person. She’s taken aback momentarily to realize she doesn’t recognize the person, but in retrospect, it was a good thing that she didn’t know who he was. He looked to be a number of years older than her at most, and he was clutching at his side. Her breath hitches at the sight of a knife lodged in his side and she feels dizzy for a brief moment, but she keeps her wits about her. Before she could say anything else, she flinches-

“Ah, here to finish off the job?”

Haru goes cross-eyed at the barrel of a gun that she’s staring down. ‘Oh--- this is… something more serious than I thought it was going to be…’ Heart raced wildly in her chest and her fight or flight instincts were screaming at her to run, but she couldn’t move. She was scared that any sudden movement would result in her probably dying because she chose to be a curious cat. What did they say again? Curiosity killed the cat? The second part of that is satisfaction brought it back, but if she’s shot, she’s just dead! This is a TRAVESTY that her desire to be helpful to someone in need of help would result in dying!

She hears the sound of birds chirping overhead, and she recognized the sound of that chirp anywhere. Somehow, a wave of relief washes over her. Morbid as it may be, there is some comfort in knowing if she were to die here, she’d be found pretty swiftly. Justice for an innocent Haru would be served.

Releasing the breath she’d been keeping captive, she looks the man dead in the eyes. “If by job you mean trying to get you the help you need, then sure. Pull the trigger, and see how far you get before the police come because of multiple reports of people hearing gunfire.” Eyes pan to the knife lodged in his side, “I don’t think you’d get very far.” She assumes it may have been her voice that prompts him to lower his gun. If he were to have any pursuers, they certainly weren’t female. “True, I wouldn’t get far. You shouldn’t be here, it’s unsafe, little lady.”

She knelt down slowly next to the man, squinting her eyes to see that he also had an injured… shoulder? An arm? It was dark in the alleyway, so it wasn’t that easy to tell rightaway. “Hahi… it’s worse than Haru thought.” She shines the light from her phone over him and guesses that the injury was a bullet wound. It was clear that he’d been ambushed or something and he’d had tried to get away and chose a dark alleyway to hide to recuperate. “Little lady-“ “Haru has a name, and it’s not ‘little lady,’ it’s Miura Haru. Haru’s already here so let her help.” She starts rummaging through her bag and fishes out a pair of scissors. What kind of crafting person wouldn’t carry a pair around for emergencies? What a shame for the suit, but what can you do? “Excuse me,” she starts working on cutting off the sleeves, because she certainly wasn’t going to have him strip himself topless with a knife still lodged in his side. She needed to properly assess his injured arm and she can’t do that while he’s still clothed.

While the stab injury is concerning, with the knife still lodged in his side, the knife was serving as a plug to prevent more blood loss. He was lucky that the assailant hadn’t pulled the knife out or he may have started bleeding out already.

“Have you… called anyone? Should Haru call the emergency services for you…?” She hesitates to ask the question as she finishes cutting through the sleeves of the jacket and the dress shirt underneath to see the bullet wound. She feels a small wave of dizziness at the injury, but she shakes her head to refocus her attention. “Do you think Yakuza go to hospitals?” The man scoffs at her question, “I can’t trust anyone right now. There is a rat.” Earlier today, he’d escorted the Kumicho to a meeting with the neighboring Gumi. All was business as usual, until on their way back, they were attacked. In the chaos he’d gotten separated from the Kumicho and he’d gotten injured.

Unsure of who was friend or foe, he had to get in contact with the Gumi to inform the 2nd young master of their being a rat within their ranks and they had it out for the Kumicho. There was no telling if he was next. Was it a spy from an enemy faction? Revenge? He didn’t know, but he needed a way to contact the Gumi. Looking at the young woman rummaging through her bag to fish out a small first aid kit, his suspicions raise once again. Why was she so calm in this situation? She wasn’t asking questions about how he’d gotten shot and stabbed. She wasn’t nearly as panicked as he expected her to be in this situation. “A rat… that’s dangerous. Have you tried contacting anyone, is someone coming to find you? To be safe, Haru thinks it’d be best to make a tourniquet for your arm so you don’t lose too much blood while waiting for someone.” If he loses lucidity from blood loss, she wouldn’t know where to begin with helping him.

“Why are you asking so many questions? Who sent you?” The sound of a gun being cocked once more and Haru sighs. ‘He’s losing his lucidity or he’s overthinking things because of the situation. Be patient, Haru.’ She had pressed a gauze over the bullet wound, trying to apply enough pressure to help stop the bleeding. “If you don’t want to risk losing too much blood, Haru is going to need-”

Seeing the gun pointed at her again fills her with rage. Rolling her eyes with annoyance, she pinches his arm, “is NOW really the time to be so suspicious of a good Samaritan? Focus, and be suspicious about Haru later! You can take her pinkies or her life if you deem her an enemy later! Stop being so annoying and answer me!”

This girl was unpredictable and odd. It was common sense to assume she would’ve been scared silly right now? In a normal situation, she would’ve been very scared, but after realizing that he was in need of help, Haru deemed giving him aid to be more important than any pain that she could theoretically find herself in. Not only that, he was starting to remind her of some people she knew in the Vongola. Fussing over useless things, being too paranoid, and opting for violence first over words.

She stares down at the man, not backing down even though he was glaring at her. ‘I’ve been having glaring matches with Gokudera for years, you don’t scare me.’ How scary is a dog that was unable to run away, anyways? Again, if something were to happen to her, it wouldn’t take long for the Vongola to find out and act. Haru’s going to get the last laugh, you rude goon! She snorts when she sees him lower the gun again. “Need Haru to remind you of her questions?”

It wasn’t that Haru couldn’t sympathize with him being so paranoid after being ambushed. If there is a rat, you’re going to be wary of everything and everyone. He was in pain and his mind was probably running in every direction. This is this and that is that. She can understand why he’s so tense, but that doesn’t mean she has to accept it with a smile. She rummages through her bag and pulls out the fabric she’d bought moments ago. A shame that the fabric was going to end up being ruined, but it was being used for a worthy cause. She uses the scissors from before to cut along the edge of her roll of fabric to cut a strip of manageable length and width. “I’m going to make a makeshift tourniquet with this, so it won’t feel very comfortable, but it’ll be better than you passing out from blood loss.”

The man watches as Haru is doing her best to administer first aid. He was still suspicious about who she was and why she seemed to have some idea of what to do in this situation, but he could tell that she was sincere about helping him. “My phone got misplaced during the altercation, so I’ve been out of contact with everyone.”

Haru hums in response, relieved that they were finally getting somewhere with this conversation. “Would you like to borrow Haru’s phone to make a call? She’d only ask to not get any blood on it.” Priorities, she has them. Ignore the fact that she already has blood on her from trying to administer first aid.

“In our line of business, we hardly pick up if we don’t recognize the number.” It would be useless to make a call from her cellphone, and there was no telling if the rats had tapped any of their lines for espionage purposes. The best course of action was for someone to go in person.

“Ah…” she slowly nods her head, “that makes sense. Haru can tell you right now you’re in no position to be moving from this spot unless you want to get stopped by the police.” There was no way he could travel avoid getting reported by any locals. Don’t forget the reason why she’s found you slumped over in the alley by yourself. “This isn’t going to feel comfortable, but bear with it.” She was using her scissors from earlier as a windlass for the tourniquet, twisting until she felt it was enough to prevent him from bleeding out. It was a good thing that she’d done a bit of research into different first aid skills for just in case. The knowledge came in handy, but she didn’t think she’d be using it like this.

No complaints from her though.

“I have to go. They may go after my friend next. If I won’t bleed out, that’s all I need.” The man puts a hand against the wall he was leaning against to unsteadily get onto his feet.

Unimpressed, Haru grabbed him by the front of his suit and pulled him back down with a small jerking motion. With how unsteady he was to begin with, it didn’t take much effort to bring him back down. “If there are rats like you suspect, they’re probably out there looking for you. Barely being able to move as it is, you’re just going to hand over your life on a silver platter.” Men who are a part of the underground, going to such lengths and for what? To die? She’s seen it one too many times where they’re in no condition to continue but they insist on getting back onto their feet. She didn’t even know this man’s name, but she gave up on any pretenses.

He struggles against her continued interference, growling under his breath at her insolence.

Does she look perturbed by this? Not at all. “Don’t you think it’d be wiser to send someone else to relay a message for you? You’re sure to die if you go, but I could probably get to the front gates unimpeded at least.” At this suggestion, the man stops struggling, finding himself questioning once more what her identity was. She was bold to suggest so nonchalantly to visit a Yakuza-gumi’s homebase in his stead. He had to admit that she had a point. “Haru will take your silence as agreement.”

Going through her bag again, she pulls out a notepad and a pen. “Write the address down for me and write a message that I should hand off to someone you trust. It’ll help collaborate the reason why I’m there.”

As he was jotting things down on the notepad, Haru had opened another alcohol wipe packet to wipe off as much of a blood as she could off her hands. She did make sure to wipe her hands before she started treating him and now she was trying to clean her hands the best she could so she couldn’t alarm anyone when walking through the streets later. “Here.” The man hands her back her items. There were two notes, one with the address written on it, and another folded piece of paper that was clearly meant for the eyes of whoever he deemed was trustworthy. Haru glances over the address and draws a mental map in her head. It was a little bit aways, but it was close enough that getting there by foot would be fine.

It would probably be best for her to get there on foot if she wanted to be somewhat natural about it.

“Thank you for this, Miss Haru. The Shiroiyuri-gumi will be in your debt for this.” The man bows his head in due respect, which bothered his side injury and Haru rushes to lean him back against the wall.

“Please, stop. You’re injured, just relax for now. Unfortunately, I don’t have any water on me, but, I do have some cookies that I baked. I read that it’s good to have some sugar after you’ve lost blood.” Being the foodie that she was, she usually had some kind of snack in her bag. She brings out a bag of cookies and she sets them down on his lap. “Who should I hand this note to? What do they look like?”

The man looks down at the cookies, and sees that they were shortbread cookies that were cut into the shapes of cats. They were cute. “There are two women of power within our Gumi, the old matriarch and our Anee-san. If they’re not around, there is a tall, grumpy man around my age. He’ll look twice as likely to shoot you for simply existing, but that’s just his face. He’s usually wearing shades.” He won’t admit that it’s because Shohei thinks it makes him look cooler. He won’t embarrass his friend like that.

“Haru doesn’t suppose they’ll be answering the gates. How am I going to call them out? What excuse am I going to give that people will believe?” It’s not like Haru should go to the gates and start screaming that there is an injured person waiting in an alley. If any traitors are mixed in with the crowd, they could easily phone contact their comrades to find him and ‘deal with him.’

The man awkwardly coughs, somehow feeling a little embarrassed. It was a bit shameful to admit this to the person who had been gracious enough to help him but, there was one thing that came to mind. “If you ask for Toshiro-san and demand to know why he didn’t show up to your date, they’d more than likely believe you…”

“…”

“…”

Ah… so he’s the kind of person who likes to flirt around with women, is he? He’s telling her to go to a Yakuza and act like a girl who just got stood up on a date and was bold enough to come demanding for answers? It’s clear he felt ashamed of it with the way he couldn’t look her in the eye. Well, someone’s life could be at stake here, so there’s no sense in arguing over this. She can make a small sacrifice for the ‘bigger picture’.

“Got it. Please, stay here and wait for help to arrive,” Haru shoved everything back into her bag haphazardly. “Haru doesn’t know what’s going on… but she hopes everything is going to be okay.” She bids him farewell with a quick bow of the head and she darts out of the alley.

-

[[Neo is tired, time skipping the travelling bit]]

-

Haru hadn’t gotten stopped by anyone on her way here, but she also wasn’t expecting to be hassled. She looked every bit the part of a regular civilian, and if anyone were to bother her, she could garner the attention of any locals nearby to pressure any shady person to leave her be.

Standing in front of the gates, she takes a deep breath before she knocks on the gates. “Excuse me!”

The heavy wooden doors open and two men look her down, “What’ya want, lil missy? This isn’t a place for a little thing like you.”

It’s now or never. “BRING HIM OUT. Toshiro-san, you promised you’d come and you didn’t! Come before me and give me your excuses!”

The two men exchange looks, understanding now what she was here for. It seemed that this wasn’t such an uncommon occurrence with how quickly they accepted her presence. “Look lil missy, Aniki isn’t in right now. It’s not a good time, so how about you come another time?”

“You’re lying to me. HE set you up to this, didn’t he? Come out and explain yourself, you coward!” Oh—the humiliation. This is just like in the Dramas she used to watch with her mother. The overly dramatic jilted woman who has come to settle a score with her ex-boyfriend or something. How embarrassing. She can only hope that the yellow-feathered avian she sees perched atop the gates isn’t recording her right now. She’d die of embarrassment if anyone were to watch this farce.

“Look, missy! You gotta go!” “Yeah, don’t make us force you away.”

“Touch me and see what happens. I could make you rue the day you lay your hands on me.” That one came from the heart. That wasn’t a warning, but a threat. You will rue the day you chose to manhandle her the moment the others find out. Haru could tell that they weren’t lying when they said that now wasn’t a good time. A lot of people were running around in the inner courtyard, so something big was going on… whatever it was.

Though, that was probably why luck was on her side.

“What’s going on here?”

“A-Anee-san! Y-you see… it seems… that… Aniki has once again… you know.” One of the guards at the gate respectfully bows to the lady of the Gumi and starts awkwardly explaining Haru’s presence.

“What a cute doll she is, wasted on the likes of Toshiro, that fickle man.” The woman looks Haru over and she reaches a hand to pat Haru’s cheek gently, “My dear, I apologize for the offense one of our members. I’ll be sure to have a stern word with him when he returns. Will that do?”

Haru is stun locked at the entrance of the beautiful woman. This was the Anee-san of the Gumi? She seemed like she would be the perfect Yamato Nadeshiko. Haru was in awe, but she snapped out of it when a look of confusion crosses her beautiful features. Putting her hand over the other woman’s, she slips the piece of paper between her fingers. Haru sniffs, playing up the dramatics as she normally would. “I had waited for hours for him to show, but he never did. It was humiliating. He promised to show up this time, but he didn’t.” Unless someone was scrutinizing her every move, that note hand off was A+, surely.

The woman hides the note in her hand and brings it up to her face, faking a gasp. “Oh my, had Toshiro had already stood you up before?” She fluidly unfolds the note and reads it. Her eyes dilate after reading the note, but she kept her calm and poised demeanor. She smiles at Haru and quietly mouths ‘thank you.’ “That won’t do.”

“What’s going on here?” A grumpy voice juts in.

‘Tall, angry, and looks like he’s twice and likely to shoot me than Toshiro-san. That must be him.’ What an accurate description.

“Shohei, I was just consoling this doll here who got stood up by Toshiro twice.” The woman takes Haru’s hands in her own, slipping the note back into Haru’s hands, “Toshiro isn’t in right now, but I promise to speak to him about this. Please allow this scary man to walk you home for now, okay?” For someone so gentle and polite, there was something in her tone that was so authoritative that Haru couldn’t help but nod instinctively. The woman regards the grumpy man, “For now, why don’t you take her home? I’ll hold the fort here until you return. Take responsibility for your friend.” The woman’s tone was stern and finite.

She walks away without another word and the two guards at the gate follow behind her, “Anee-san, it’s dangerous to walk on your own!” “We’ll escort you back inside.”

The man stood there flabbergasted that his sister-in-law would assign him such a task when the entire Gumi was being turned upside down because they couldn’t get in contact with the Kumicho and any of his escort guards. Of course, she of all people knew the gravity of the situation, as it was the safety of her husband that was at stake, so he didn’t argue against her right away.

Now it was just Haru and Shohei. “This note is for you.” She quickly hands the note to him before she pulls out her phone and starts tapping away at the screen. She didn’t know if they were still being watched or not, so she was keeping up the act for now. If all parties acted none the wiser about the treachery that has transpired, the enemy were sure to let their guard down slightly.

Her ringtone goes off and she goes through the motions of picking up a call. “Moshi mosh? Eh? I’ll be right there!” Haru ‘hangs up’ and she looks at Shohei, “I need to go now, you don’t need to walk me home, good day!” She quickly bows her head before darting off.

“Wha- hey! Hold on!” Haru doesn’t stop and runs for it, recalling in her mind the path she needs to take to get to the alley that she’d left Toshiro-san in. Hopefully… he was still there—and still alive. It would be awful if the enemy had found him and dealt with him. She’s actively ignoring Shohei calling for her to stop so that they could talk.

‘Is there a point to me keeping up an act if he’s clearly not on the same wavelength?’ Whatever, she’s not wasting time by stopping to explain anything to him. Every minute wasted is another minute gained by the enemy to find the hiding Toshiro.

When they approach the alley she’d left him in, she suddenly stops and turns around, “excuse me mister, are you following me? Haru has mace and she’s not afraid to use it.” She makes repeated movements with her eyes towards the alley. “Stop following me and you can have a nice day.” She makes a jerking head movement towards the alley.

GET THE HINT!

“Sorry miss, this was just a misunderstanding. I’ll leave you alone.”

“Good. Have a nice day, sir.” Haru huffs and she walks off. She can hear the man walk into the alley and that’s a mission complete. She didn’t plan on sticking around, because the more she knew, the more danger she put herself in. She looks overhead and watches as small yellow birds were circling her.

“It’s fine now, tell him not to worry, okay?”

The birds can go back to their regular patrolling schedule. What a day it’s been. “Haru needs to buy more fabric…” she sighs. That’s a task to postpone until next week.

She hopes that she doesn't have to run into any of them ever again. One interaction was tiring enough.

#Neo drabble #((I'll figure out my other tags later i'm tired as hekk)) #((I wrote 2.5k in one sitting i'm allowed to be lazy and figure out my tags later)) #((This was truly just for me to have fun and play around. Set up for whatever I wanna do for later)) #((Neo is true I'll make up NPCs so I can use them to help progress plot myself- energy)) #Blood tw #Injuries tw

[chee-shep]

Hello my love, I was wondering if you could do a matchup for me for demon slayer. I am a straight, female, I have wavy red hair, pale skin, white eyelashes, blue eyes, I’m 5”1, got thick strong thighs lol) and I have decent sized scars on my legs ( I’ve had five surgeries since I was 6) my personality: i am more introverted, but I love to spend time with my friends and people I’m more comfortable with. I am a calm, understanding, patient person and I can be known as mature though I do have a childish, fun side and I love to hang out with my younger cousins :) I’ve got a bit of crackhead energy lol. I would do anything for anyone and do my best to comfort people I care about. I had a rough past, my dad was pretty abusive and that gave me a few scratches in my childhood that I’d rather not mention, ( think:the shinazugawa brothers father) so I can be a bit (very) touch starved, therefore I would say my love language is physical touch, though I may be shy at first, id love it) and quality time. I love playing my saxophone, karate, swimming, and drawing in my free time. I have a great love for animals and my favorite is a fox,and I overall seem to have a fox- like personality. Just some fluffy hcs Thank you my love! I love your writing ^^

Ah, I didn’t think I’d get a match up request. I’ve never considered doing them, but I never specified that I don’t do them either so I’m going to do this one, but I probably won’t do them again. I’m sorry if I’m not very good at this >w<

Hmm, now let’s see here… Ah, yes! A couple options come to mind…

I know Tanjiro gets dished out often in these, but hear me out! We’ve all seen that Tanjiro somehow finds himself drawn to introverts, and seems to wriggle his way past their defenses. Not only is he also patient and understanding as well, but he’s been shown to be able to relax and have some lighthearted fun during even the most stressful times. He’s more than happy to hold your hand, and even carry you if he doesn’t have Nezuko’s box. Tanjiro has shown to be good with animals, or at least with Chuntaro, so he’s more than willing to lead animals to you! I’m sure he’d love seeing you play with Nezuko as you would play with your cousins as well. His energy is pretty adaptable to whatever activity you want to do!

While I can see the Shinazugawa brothers having a better chance to connect with you through similarities with fathers, I feel Genya would be more on your side since Sanemi tends to shut people out. I think that a lot of your time with Genya would be spent alone. Whether the two of you would speak of your fathers is up to you, but I think Genya would be more willing to listen to you instead of speaking of his past. Genya would have no problem carrying you on his back or holding your hands, but he might freeze up if someone else shows up. Genya is a bit of a silent loner, so your time spent together will usually be calm, quiet time.

I’m sorry if it’s not that great… I’ve never written a match up before….

#dear god I'm bad at this #tanjiro x reader #genya x y/n #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kaigaku x reader

[mamashenanigans]

“So…why are the humans eating here? Should they not be enjoying their meal alone? Celebrating their kill? Hiding their shame from Yggdrah herself?”

Ember stared at Al from across the small, two-seater table. It was adorned with a simple white tablecloth and their utensils were placed in the perfect position for a fine dining setting. A small, shielded candle sat in the middle, its flame casting an ethereal glow upon the table and Al’s perplexed face.

But Al was making this far harder than it should be. Needed to be. Dammit, the ignorant Ancient was already testing her frayed nerves with his incessant questions. Questions she was sure she had answered multiple times over the past few decades. Though this was the first time Ember decided to bring him to a crowded, affluent restaurant, their prior human food excursions mostly revolved around street vendors and small mom and pop diners.

The look she was giving him finally caught his attention once he was done obnoxiously turning to and fro to gawk at the other patrons.

His eyebrow quirked.

Ember rolled her eyes. “You’re joking, right?”

“Well, the last part, yes!” Al nodded his head enthusiastically with a wide grin. “I’ve been practicing making jokes. You seemed to like the one I made prior!”

”Oh, the one about my stature ten years ago or the one about how the humans may taste during that terrible apartment fire?” She asked with a wooden expression. “I recall hitting you with objects for both of those jokes. Why do you think I actually liked them? By the way, Al, making jokes about Yggdrah is a huge no-no in modern Q’dai society. Ya know, since she disappeared forever-ever ago!” She really wanted to raise her voice, but the atmosphere would be broken, not to mention the possibility of them being thrown out.

Ember had to rely on seething whispers at this point.

“Hmm,” Al answered while his eyes darted around the room. She should have expected as much considering his attention span had turned into that of an excited puppy ever since they entered the restaurant. Ember could only assume it was because of the number of humans gathered here. But they had been in multiple crowded settings before, so why was he so—

She almost jumped out of her seat when she felt Al’s huge hand engulf her own.

“Wha-what are you doing?!” Ember quickly pulled her hand away and tried to hide her face behind the menu. She definitely wasn’t blushing.

“It’s what the others are doing or, at least, the humans that appear to be female and male, as you explained to me. Is this typical of humans when they eat together? Wouldn’t it hinder their ability to devour their food faster?”

”Oh, my god, Al!” Ember held her face in her hands and shook her head. “Not everyone eats like a giant fatass like you!”

”I told you I know what that means now! Why do you insist on continuing to say something that’s supposed to be ‘mean’?”

”Because you are a fatass! Jesus Christ, your Masked form is massive already and I can’t imagine what your real form looks like!” Honestly, it was a tad humorous seeing Al sitting across from her at such a small table. His height alone was daunting, but his girth was practically as wide as the table. She was also catching the curious looks from the other patrons as they tried to make sense of such a large man.

“Why? Do you want me to show you?” He asked with a sly grin.

”No! I don’t want to know!”

”Probably better that way.”

Ember perked up at that, her curiosity piqued, but Al’s attention had already been taken by…the kitchen doors?

Before she could ask him why he’s being stupid, a waiter pushed through the doors and made his way towards them.

“Ah, another couple joining us for a lovely dinner I see!” Ember had to give it up for this guy: he was doing an amazing job holding back his confusion over Al’s unnatural, for a human, size.

Ember went to object to the ‘couple’ part, but Al beat her to it.

”We are a couple of persons, yes!”

She facepalmed.

“Uh, yes, sir! So, can I start you both off with some drinks, perhaps one from our lovely wine selection?”

”No, we’ll just have some ice water—”

”Food. Where is it and how can it be brought before me?”

”Al, I swear to Yggdrah…”

++++++++++

Just a quick funny little thing I typed up involving two of my OCs from my original work, Y&Y. Had it in my head, but now it’s out!

#Ember isn’t especially nice to Al #She is afraid of letting others close to her #Though he’s definitely growing on her #When you’re a powerful Ancient that has been hiding in your Realm of Influence for an unmeasurable amount of years #humans are tiny and strange but you’re forced into a form of one thanks to a rule placed on the human realm by Yggdrah #powerful fat male characters ftw #(these two are the OTP) #he’s the Ancient of Shadow #…allegedly #👀 #my writing #y&y

[crazyk-imagine]

Love Waits for No One

Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton/ Female (plus size) reader, Daphne Hastings neé Bridgerton/ Simon Hastings

Characters: Female (plus size) reader, Edwin (reader’s servant and friend), Daphne Basset neé Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Hyacinth Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Albert Basset (I never heard a name in the show, what else was I to do?),  Maryanne (Hyacinth’s maid), Benedict Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton, Sienna, Harriet (readers maid), Francesca Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Reader’s mother (bit of a bitch, oops), Fredrick “Freddy” Bridgerton (reader and Anthony’s child)

Warnings: We’re moving on from the fact that this imagine probably wasn’t written using the same style as the show but I tried (it’s so hard to write the way they talk XD), angst, fluff, drama, mentions of smut/ sex (almost, moments always lead up to the act but nothing happens, you gotta use your imagination), Benedict and Daphne are trouble makers, Anthony, Simon, Daphne, and reader are horny bitches (I have no regrets), Anthony is a simp for the reader, Benedict, Daphne, and Edwin wish for their brother and friend to be happy

Word Count: 12,684 (I have never written this much, so fu- frickin pumped)

*I have been working on this nonstop for like five days and I’m very happy with the whole thing. Thank you and enjoy!

I also haven’t much plus size imagines for Bridgerton so, I thought why not?

Also, who’s ready for season 2?

Answers to LWFNO

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You exit the carriage, ignoring Edwin’s hand, as usual. 

He stands to the side, hands behind his back, following you. “Are you sure you wish to have tea with the Bridgerton family?” he asks. 

You roll your eyes, “yes, Edwin. I’ll be fine, besides it’s time for us to make amends.” 

“No one other than yourself, Benedict, and Anthony knows exactly what happened that night.” 

“Yes, yes which is why, I wish to make amends and have someone else to talk to other than my annoying servants.” 

“I speak for everyone when I say, we enjoy your company, and you treat us nicely, some might say better than others.” 

“You don’t need to be nice and pretend like I’m not the worst employer you’ve ever had,” you tease but you don’t use a joking tone or expression. 

Edwin’s jaw drops, he begins to stutter, “no- no- that is not what I meant Miss. I was- I was-” 

You chuckle, “I know you were joking. I needed to have a good laugh before I enter my own personal hell.” 

“I understand you have some, shall I say, important information to discuss with the Bridgerton’s but you shouldn’t be using such language, Miss.” 

“You’ve been telling me the same thing since I was a young girl.” 

“And I shall continue to do so.” 

You gasp with a chuckle.

-

“May I present-” Edwin takes a step towards the butler. 

“That’s not necessary.” 

“But-” 

“I know but the Lady of the house is very particular when it comes to these things.” 

-

You curtsy, “Good morning, Bridgerton family." Before you know it, Daphne, Eloise, Gregory, and Hyacinth are hugging you. You take a step back, attempting to wrap your arms around them. “Well, hello to you too,” you chuckle. 

“What do you expect when we haven’t seen you since before, I got married?” Daphne asks, standing closest to you. 

“I wasn’t quite sure what I was expecting but it certainly wasn’t me being mauled by you four. Daphne and Eloise, perhaps but you two,” you point to the youngest of the siblings. “I was not expecting. I thought you two were too young to remember me?” 

“How could we forget our favorite hide and seek player?” Hyacinth asks. 

“Ah, now I see how it is. You only came to me because you wish to play with someone who is not family and will actually participate.”

“No,” the two disagree. 

“Yes,” you reply. 

“Who’s- oh my. Were we informed of your return?” Violet asks. 

“No, I wished to surprise my favorite family.” 

“I told her to write a letter,” Edwin chimes in. 

You turn, giving him a stern look. 

“But she,” he clears his throat. “I’ll be- I’ll be elsewhere.” 

“You have fun with that, Edwin.” 

He bows and exits the room with a few of the Bridgerton’s maids and other servants. 

“You must be nicer to him. He’s been with your family for so long,” Daphne says. 

“Lord knows how he’s managed to deal with you as long as he has. He’s a saint,” Eloise adds. 

“I wonder how long he would last if I left him here,” you wonder. 

“Not long. He’d be gone before Eloise could start one of her rants,” Daphne whispers to you. 

“Yes, it will be me who makes him leave,” Eloise adds with attitude. 

“Enough, I’m sure our dear friend didn’t come all this way just to hear you and your charm,” Daphne teases. 

“She’s right. Come, we’ll have the maids bring us tea and your favorites. Mama, is it alright if we have tea outside? It’s a beautiful day today.” 

You shake your head, “no, we- we should just stay inside and- and have tea?” You ask, unsure of, well everything. 

“Sadly, I agree with Daphne. Plus, Gregory and Hyacinth can play so we ladies can gossip with one another,” Eloise says. 

“You could stay in here and read a book, if you do not wish to join us outside,” you add, making sure she knows her options and doesn’t feel as if she’s forced to join you and her sister. 

“I’ll think about it.” 

“I’ll be back,” Daphne leaves, getting everything ready. 

Eloise returns to the couch reading her book. 

Gregory and Hyacinth stand in front of you, unsure of what to do. 

You tilt your head, “why don’t you two go and change into something less fancy and frilly. We wouldn’t want to give Viscountess Bridgerton a fright because of the stains on your fanciest clothes.” 

“Okay,” and the two run off to find something more suitable.

-

Violet stands in front of you, studying you, seeing the handsome young lady you’ve become (even if it has only been a few years). “It’s good to see you again, dear.” 

“I’m happy to see you as well, Viscountess Bridgerton.” 

She scoffs, “I don't know how many times I am to repeat myself. You can call me, Violet. We've known each other since you were a child, I wish for you to be comfortable enough as to call me by my name.” 

“I understand but it would be better if we have more of a "business" relationship rather than a friendship.” 

“Who has told you such lies?” 

“No one,” you lie, but Violet knows exactly who has told you such an outrageous and untrue thing… your mother. 

“I can tell when you are not being honest with me. I won't push you... this time. I only wish for you to know that I care for you as a daughter, and I want you to know you are a part of this family as much as any of my children and that extends to Duke Hastings and my grandson.” 

“Of course. It’s an honor to have you think of me in such a way.” 

Violet sighs, “I will leave you be now. I hope you and Daphne enjoy yourselves this afternoon.” 

“She’ll make it her mission to make this one of the best afternoon teas we’ve ever had.” 

The two of you chuckle remembering how serious Daphne gets when it comes to the two of you having tea. She always makes sure that everything is perfect; this is the one thing you would happily admit that you are jealous of. 

“Her ability to throw an afternoon tea together so quickly, with the help of those around her of course, has always fascinated me,” you add.  

-

“What is it you wish to talk about today, Dutchess Basset,” you question her. 

“Why are you using my title when you did no such thing earlier?” Daphne asks. 

“No reason. I should have used it for all of you earlier, it won’t happen again.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying. You’re pushing yourself away from me, from us, like you did before, and we hardly saw one another during that time. You hardly answered any of our letters. I was lucky to have gotten more than a handful of letters with each passing season.” 

“I assumed we weren’t as close as we once were.” 

“May I ask why?” 

“My mother and the gossip.” 

“You’ve never listened to either before. Why are her comments and gossip bothering you now?” 

“She says, I should be like you, married and expanding our family. Not leaning towards becoming a spinster, although as time passes it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I feel I would be the rare kind of spinster.” 

“Which is?” 

“The fun kind.” 

You two chuckle. 

“I missed this,” she says softly. 

“As did I,” you admit, showing her your vulnerability. 

“Don’t use our titles. We’re closer than that,” she picks up a pastry off the table in front of her. “And, if you happen to become a spinster, I will not abandon you even if others tell me I would be better off without you. I won’t because you and your friendship mean too much to me.” 

“Daphne, you’re too kind. It’s no wonder the duke fell for you in no time… even if your relationship wasn’t real at first.” 

She smiles bashfully, looking off into the distance. “Yes,” she lifts her head. “And what of you?” 

“What of me?” 

She leans forward, “Do you have any callers?” Her voice hardly higher than a whisper. 

“No, no one for me. As I said, by the end of this season, I assure you, I will most likely end up a spinster.” 

“I don’t believe it.” 

The two of you sip your tea. 

“You have yet to follow your heart?” She asks. 

You sigh, your shoulders sag, “I wish to follow my heart, but I cannot because the one who owns my heart, loves another.” 

She has a slight idea as to who you’re talking about and struggles to find the right words she can say to encourage you or lift your spirits. “That- that doesn't mean you shouldn't try." 

You shake your head, "I cannot try. I do not wish to put myself in harm’s way.” 

She gives you a confused look, “what do you mean?” 

“I would be hurting myself more than anyone and that would be because I would be trying to force something that clearly isn't meant to be.” 

“You can’t truly think that is what you and my-”

-

Simon walks towards the two of you with his, almost, two-year-old son giggling in his arms. 

He leans down to whisper, "it seems mama is busy with her friend. Perhaps we should play another round of hide and seek?"

-

You sigh, pushing yourself out of the chair, wiping away any visible wrinkles on your dress. "No, no. I was just about to find Gregory and Hyacinth so we could play hide and seek. I have to defend my title after all." 

Daphne chuckles, “I can’t believe I had forgotten about that.” 

“That is only because you and your siblings have yet to beat me.” 

“I suppose so, yes.” 

“May I bring little Albert? I wish for my favorite Basset to learn the proper ways of playing hide and seek so he shall beat me when he is older.” 

“You’re never going to let this go, are you?” Simon asks. 

You shake your head, “no.” 

He sets little Albert onto the ground, expecting the young boy to run towards his mother but it’s as if the boy has other plans. 

You smile, picking him up so he settles on your waist. “Are you ready, little one?” You poke his belly, and he giggles. 

“It seems I have a new partner. We’ll be back soon.” You turn and walk away. 

“He is not to have stains on his clothes!” Daphne shouts. 

“I make no promises.” 

Albert looks back and waves to his parents, they return the gesture with smiles.

-

“I know she is your friend, but is it wise to leave our son with her?” 

Daphne turns to him, giving him a look. 

“Albert is in the best of care. When we were all mere children, she would help mama with Gregory and Hyacinth. If one of the two were fussy, she would pick them up and they would stop crying almost immediately.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, mama would say she has a gift and would make a good mother.” 

“Did I interrupt something?” Simon asks. 

She knows what he’s talking about and sighs, “no. It seems that my brother still hasn't revealed his true feelings for her. And her mother isn’t helping.” 

“The day will come, have faith in your brother.” 

“I'm afraid, it won't come soon enough, and I'll lose my dearest, closest friend forever.” 

“I do not think that will happen. You are Daphne Basset,” he smiles, she turns to look at him and her lips stretch into a smile. “When you put your mind to it, you’ll find a way.” 

“I also fear she may be fleeing London tonight.” 

“And you wish to stop her?” He asks, with a raised brow, already knowing the answer. 

“If I do, it will be because of my own selfish reasonings. I could never do that to her, but she needs to know that she is not alone and has people here, who care about her. People who will not tell her,” Daphne pauses, not wanting to tell someone else of the things that you’re told daily by your mother. 

She trusts Simon, he is her husband, but there are some things she cannot discuss because it should be your choice to do so. 

“That’s something you will not be able to change. Perhaps, you are to let the two find each other and work it out for themselves.” 

“We both know that will never happen.” 

“You should have faith in Anthony.” 

“When have you ever been such a fan of him?” 

He shrugs, “I think things will work out. Look at the us, we did.” 

“Only after you realized you wished to have me.” 

He chuckles, leaning closer to Daphne. “Is that how you remember it?” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“It seems that I must remind you of what happened,” he says, breathlessly. 

She turns her head, looking away from him, tilting her head up, almost defiantly. “I’d like to see you try, remember we are at my family’s home, husband.” 

“Then it seems we are to sneak away so that I may have my way with my wife,” he teases, standing up, offering her his hand. 

The two-share mischievous and loving smiles for one another as the two run away, searching for a more secluded area.

-

“Okay, for the first round, I shall seek you. Does that sound fair?” You ask the three children. 

“I think Gregory should do it first.” 

“No, Hyacinth should do it.” 

The two youngest Bridgerton’s begin bickering. 

You sigh, glancing down at the young boy in your arms, “I try to be smart to avoid this and they still bicker. Be happy you have no siblings just yet.”

Little Albert smiles. 

“Okay. Children. Children!” You raise your voice an octave and they turn. “I shall seek first. Whoever I find first will be the next seeker, okay?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. This time I shall have an assistant.” 

“Why?” Gregory asks. 

“Albert is too young to be on his own and I have a feeling you two will be hiding in places that are too harsh for him. Is this going to be a problem?” 

“No.” 

“Good. I shall turn around and let you hide now. As usual, I’ll shout to let you know the game has begun. Now,” you turn around. “Go.” 

You listen to their footsteps as they run away and the grass crunching under their feet. “You two better have found a good spot!” You shout. 

The game has begun.

-

“Where do you think they went?” You ask the young boy in your arms. 

“Shall I take him?” Edwin asks, sitting with a few other servants, chatting about various things. 

“No, you stay seated and enjoy your gossip.” 

“You know me too well, Miss.” You smile, leaning your head down to whisper, “let us hunt, Albert.” 

The boy giggles.

-

After walking down two hallways and checking, at least, fifteen rooms, you decide to set the boy down. 

He holds onto your fingers as you two continue to explore and search for the two children. 

You bend down, “It seems as if this floor is clear. Shall we try another?” 

“Yes.” 

You smile and stand up. “Someone is eager to win.” 

The two of you turn a corner. 

You bump into someone, ready to apologize until you look up. “Benedict!” 

He’s also shocked to see you here, at his family’s home. “You’re here. Why are you here?” 

You scoff to yourself, “that’s one way of greeting guests.” 

“You know why I asked, don’t play dumb… have you seen-” 

“No.” 

“Oh,” he looks down. 

“Uncle Benny!” 

“Hello, little Albert. What are you two doing?” 

“Playing!” 

Benedict looks to you. 

“We’re searching for Gregory and Hyacinth.” 

“Was that the first thing they asked when they saw you?” 

“Shockingly, no. They did bring up the subject though.” You begin walking away from him. 

He follows. “Ah! Would it be too much to ask, if I can join?” 

“I’m sure you have other things you are to be doing at this very moment.” 

“My calendar is clear.” 

“Of course, it is.” 

“You act as if you are not happy to see the person you once considered to be a friend and close confidant, with certain matters.” 

“That’s what happens when that confidant is another’s confidant and keeps certain information to them self so one gets hurt but it still happens.” 

“I did what I thought was right.” 

“And I don’t hold that against you-” 

“Doesn’t sound like it.” 

“I only wished we all could have said our truths… before anyone of us got hurt.” 

“How long are you staying?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“What’s brought you back?” 

“Family matter.” 

“Is there any other reason, you came to visit today?” 

“No. Do you know where either of the children are?” 

“They could be outside. When you left, they took your advice on hiding in the last place people would think of, very seriously.” 

“You couldn’t have told me this before?” 

“Would you have talked to me, if I didn’t?” 

“It’s making it harder to trust you again.” 

“I didn’t want to hide anything from you. You must believe me but-” 

You stop in front of him. “I am here to stop whatever it is we have going on between the three of us. It is not fair to everyone else. I want to be able to come here and not have to worry about it being awkward.” 

“It would have never been awkward.” 

“He would step out of the room whenever I was there, a few days before I left. So, yes, things would be awkward because I’m sure your family would ask what happened, but you couldn’t say out of respect for your brother.” 

“If anything, it would have been out of respect for you.” 

“If that’s what you think.” You lift Albert into your arms as you pick up the pace, exiting the home to search in the backyard. 

Benedict lightly jogs to catch up with you, stopping in front of you, this time. “It’s the truth. I am not going to hurt you again. Our friendship means too much to me and when you left, it left a gaping hole in my heart that feels as if it can never be fixed because of something I did or, rather, something I didn’t say.” 

A smile stretches across your lips. 

The second eldest looks frightened. “Why are you smiling? Is there something on my face that you’ve only now just noticed?” 

You shake your head.

-

Turning towards the bushes when you hear a rustle followed by laughter. You walk away from Benedict and head towards the bushes, setting Albert down. “Can you see either your aunt or uncle hiding in there?” 

He nods, opening his mouth to respond. 

“Shh,” you place a finger over your lips. 

“We are going to whisper so they can’t hear us.” 

“Aunt Cindy and Uncle Greg.” 

“Both? Really? Who did you see first?” 

He points to you. “Of course, you saw me first, I’ve been with you this whole time.” 

He points to the bush. “Do you mean you saw your aunt first?” 

“Yes,” he says and rubs his eye. 

“Have I tired you out with our search, little one?” 

“I’m not tired.” 

“Okay. Let’s find the two and then your parents.” 

“Okay.”

-

“What just happened?” Benedict asks. 

“You’ve done what you should have done that night,” Edwin answers him. 

“What?” 

“You’ve proven to her that you care about your friendship and wish to make things right. Although what you did wasn’t right, she’s happy to hear that you wish to fix your, shall we say, mistake. I know how much she missed talking to you while she was away.” 

“Do you think we can make things right?” 

“I think that the friendship you and the lady of the house have is a rare one. You both will overcome this.” 

He nods, letting out a breath of relief. “I needed to hear that, thank you.” 

“Of course, anything I can do to help.”

-

Benedict jogs over to where you, Albert, Gregory, and Hyacinth lay on the grass. “I see you’ve found them.” 

“Yes, and young Albert has done nothing to help me, instead he joins in on the torture I endure as you see before you.” 

He hums, hands behind his back. “Yes, I can see that. Are you two done? I believe mother is calling for you two.” 

“But-” Gregory begins to protest. 

Their older brother gives them a look. 

“C’mon, Gregory. The adults want to talk.” 

“I’m older than you. Why are you telling me we should leave? I should be the one telling you this.” 

Two maids walk over to where you all are. “Miss Hyacinth and Mister Gregory, Viscountess Bridgerton wishes to speak with you. Come with us and we’ll help you get ready.” 

Gregory sighs. 

Hyacinth follows with no complaints. 

Hyacinth turns around, “can we play again tomorrow?” 

“We shall see.” 

“Should we take the young duke with us?” One of the maids, Maryanne, you believe was her name asks. 

“No, I wish to bring him to his parents myself. Thank you.” 

She curtseys. 

Once the four disappear, Benedict offers you, his hand. “Would you like some help?” 

“Yes, please.”

-

Anthony exits the family home to see Benedict helping you up off the ground. He freezes, not expecting to see you here… or ever again. 

He watches you brush off any dirt and grass that stuck to your dress before bending down to pick up his nephew. 

He hurts, in his heart, in his stomach, in his lungs. He hurts everywhere at the sight of you, standing beside his brother, laughing with him and holding little Albert. 

Some part of him is afraid he’s coming down with something. 

He’s never felt this way, not even with Sienna. 

The night you left is when he had truly realized he would rather be with you than her. 

Yes, he’ll admit (to himself) that he did love Sienna, but only a small fraction of him did. You see, his heart belongs to you. He has yet to put two and two together on this matter for himself. 

Everyone else can see it but he has yet to. 

What hurt him the most that night was that you had left a letter for Daphne which was also for Colin, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, and Hyacinth. 

He knew you and Benedict had talked before your departure because his brother stormed into his private office and blew up, telling him everything he needed to know.

-

Anthony grabs his coat, putting it on, “where is she now?” 

“She’s gone,” Benedict whispers, slouched in a chair. 

“Do you know where she’s going?” 

“No, I couldn’t ask.” 

Anthony turns around, “why didn’t you ask her? She could be injured or- or hurt?” 

“You didn’t see her face.” 

“I don’t care how she looked- I want to know where she is, Benedict.” 

“I couldn’t ask her. She is upset-” 

“I’m going to look for her. It is better she be upset than lying in a ditch somewhere.” 

“She’s not going to be home. She has left for good… she knows.” 

“Knows what?” 

Silence. 

“She knows what Benedict?” 

“She knows of where you go when you are not with family. She knows who your heart truly belongs to.” 

“She- how did she find out? Did you tell her?” 

“I don’t know how she knows. I only answered her question.” 

“Which was?” 

“If you were in love with the opera singer.” 

“And what did you say?” 

“The truth.” 

“You don’t know the truth of which you spoke.” 

“What don’t I know?! I know you would rather lay with the soprano than be with your family and the woman who-” 

“Who? Who what? Is there something you’re not telling me?” 

Benedict looks away, “no.” 

Anthony furrows his brows, “there’s more to this than what you’re telling me.” 

“The least I can do is at least keep this one thing to myself and not cause any more damage.” 

“What are you not telling me?” 

“You cannot ask me that?” 

“If it pertains to her, I need to know.” 

“Why should I tell you? It won’t change anything.” 

“It will change everything.” 

“She,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead. “She’s gone because your heart belongs to another.” 

The Viscount furrows his brows. “Why does that matter?” 

“Are you really that blind brother? Can you not see how she cares for you? How her heart yearns for you, but she knows you love another, and she cannot bear to see it any longer? Do you know why she is leaving at this very moment, tonight?” 

Anthony says nothing. 

“She saw you and your lover. She came to ask if you would accompany her to the market so she could get Daphne a new pair of gloves for her to wear for her first season. But instead, she found you and Sienna in a compromising position before she ran home crying. The only reason she came to me before she left was to hear the truth. I confessed what you’ve told me. Now she is gone.” 

“How could you tell her!?” 

“How could you make me keep your secrets?! You know of our friendship, we tell each other things no one else knows about. We have a special friendship.” 

Anthony scoffs, “special friendship.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Nothing.” 

“I am nothing more than a friend to her and she is the same for me. You are just too unsure of your feelings for her to see that you actually love her and not your precious soprano.” 

Anthony whirls around, “what did you say?” 

Benedict turns away, “nothing.” 

“No, repeat what you said.” 

“Why should I? You know how you feel about her. I don’t see any reason to repeat myself.” 

“You think I love her?” 

“I don’t think so. I know.” 

“That’s- that’s- no.”

-

Anthony shakes his head, ridding himself of the memories from the night that haunts him still. 

Again, his heart aches, this time at the sight of you holding little Albert. 

As he’s finally come to terms and realized how he truly feels about you, it was over. The search for a Viscountess came to a short hiatus, to those who aren’t family know of this decision. 

He wishes to be able to gather the courage to confess to you and right the wrong that took place years ago but, with the way you two look at one another it is then, he once again understands that he is jealous; of the way you and his brother can go back to being friends and not look as if you hate him. 

The way he believes you will look at him and if this is the case, it would truly break him. 

He stands there, watching, unsure if he should move to you or ask to speak with you and say- he wouldn’t know how to begin but he knows he needs to get a few things off his chest. 

Before he knows it, the two of you are walking towards him.

-

Simon exits the home, standing beside his friend with his hands behind his back. “Are you going to confess?” 

“Confess what?” 

“Don’t pretend you don’t notice the handsome woman before you. The woman who loves you.” 

“She no longer loves me.” 

“Have you asked her?” 

“I don’t need to. I can tell by her expression; she no longer has a romantic interest in me.” 

“I’m afraid I don’t see it.” 

“Shouldn’t you be off somewhere pretending you weren’t just having your way with my sister.” 

Simon chuckles and smiles. “Nothing gets past you except the sad and longing expression she holds for you and only you. I’m sure even when she hears others speak of you, she will still have a longing expression she holds for you.”

-

Simon walks away from his friend, standing before you. “It’s good to officially greet the friend my wife has told me so much about and hopefully have longer conversations with that aren’t in a letter or when you take my son to play.” 

You awkwardly smile, feeling uncomfortable being in the eyesight of the man that still manages to make your heartbeat fast. “It is. I apologize for taking little Albert without your consent, but I shall let you know he had a wonderful time. I’m afraid I tired him out.” 

The two of you chuckle. 

“It’s quite alright. I’m happy to see he had so much fun.” You lean forward, as if to whisper a secret, “I also thought it would be nice for a husband and wife to be alone.” 

Simon’s brows almost immediately go up. You are more than what Daphne has described and more than he has read about. He welcomes it. “I’m afraid to say I have no words.” 

“It’s more than alright. I do apologize if I am a little too “unladylike”. But I believe you are here to collect something.” 

He chuckles, “yes.” He takes Albert from your arms. “If you are still here by the end of the season, I think I shall make you our new nanny.” 

“You or your wife never mentioned how funny you would be in our letters.” 

“She forgets simple things like that.” 

“Yes, that is true. Good day to you, Duke Basset.” 

Daphne stands beside her husband, placing a hand on his arm and rubs her child’s cheek. “When I said, you shouldn’t call us by our title earlier, that includes my husband.” 

“If that is what he wishes,” you add. 

“It is. We are all friends here.” 

You glance over at Anthony whose gaze is still on you. “Yes,” you look away. “We are.” 

“I wish to speak with our dear friend, if you don’t mind sister,” Benedict intertwines your arm with his as he gestures to Anthony with his eyes. 

She understands and pulls Simon inside, saying they must put Albert down for his afternoon nap.

-

You notice Benedict trying to walk you in the direction of his brother. You attempt to avoid him but are very unsuccessful when your dear friend tightens his grip. You sigh, accepting defeat. 

“Anthony!” Benedict gasps out. “What are you doing here? I thought you had pressing matters to attend to, the rest of this afternoon?” 

“I can deal with them later,” the Viscount says, not removing his gaze from you. 

“It’s getting late. I think it’s time I return to my home. My mother wishes to speak to me.” 

“No!” Both brothers shout before glancing at one another. 

Anthony doesn’t want you to go. He feels as if he hasn’t seen you long enough and isn’t a hundred percent sure this is even real. He has had far too many dreams that started out in such a way, only for him to wake up and be depressed that very morning. 

Benedict doesn’t want his friend to leave yet, and he doesn’t want you to face your mother because your mood will worsen and become sour. He still wonders how such a rude creature could have created such a darling and sweet daughter. 

“Stay,” Anthony struggles to say. 

You sigh, “I have to discuss it with-” 

“We’re staying!” Edwin shouts, from the window somewhere on the second floor. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive, Miss. Your mother will need hours to prepare herself anyhow.” 

You look away from him, sighing. “It seems I shall be staying.” 

“Good,” Anthony says. 

“I have to go,” Benedict chimes in. 

“What?” You ask. 

“I have a meeting with a friend of mine. He wishes to speak to me and discuss which of my drawings he wishes to keep.” 

“I thought you said your calendar was clear,” you say, giving him a suspicious look. 

“I seem to have forgotten. I shall see you both later.”

-

Benedict runs into the house, entering a room where Edwin, his sister, and her husband stand by a window, attempting to listen in on the two of you.

-

“It’s good to see you,” Anthony says, to fill the awkward silence. 

You don’t respond, instead you scan him, checking him out up and down before looking off to the side. “I’m sure you’re needed elsewhere. We wouldn’t want to keep you.” 

“No,” he clears his throat. “I have nowhere to be.” 

“That’s surprising to hear. I assumed you still sneak away from your family to do,” you pause, glancing at him before looking away once more. “Other important things.” 

“I-” he closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to mess this up, but he has a feeling that’s exactly what’s going to happen. 

“Would you,” he straightens his posture. “Would you stay for dinner?” 

You turn away, facing him. “Dinner? You want me to stay for dinner?” 

“If you can spare a moment… I know my siblings and mother will be happy. If you decide to join us.” 

You sigh, glancing up at the, now, open window.

-

Those eavesdropping quickly back away from the window.

-

You purse your lips, “I know Edwin would be happy.” 

Anthony chuckles, knowing how the man is. “I’m sure he would. I remember how he and the maids enjoyed their idle chats.” 

You almost smile but memories of Anthony in a compromising position with the soprano flash through your mind. 

You take a deep breath, your chest rising as you do so which (although he is slightly ashamed to admit it) catches the Viscounts eye. 

He quickly averts his gaze.

-

A light knock catches his attention, he looks around before looking up. He sees his brother and sister interlock arms and point at you. 

Anthony shakes his head a tiny amount, checking to see if you’re still looking at him, to his luck (and misfortune) you’re not. He looks up at them, shaking his head, mouthing, “no.”

-

You start walking away.

-

Simon pushes the two out of the way so Edwin can step closer to the window.

“What are you doing? Go after her.” 

Anthony is about to protest when you interrupt. 

“Are you coming?” You ask with a bored tone. 

He briskly walks to you. 

The two of you stand side-by-side, wandering through his family home. 

Neither one of you says anything. 

For Anthony, he is in misery, he has no idea how to talk to you. He’s afraid he’ll say the wrong thing and make you more upset than you are now. 

For you, you can’t say anything. You don’t want to talk to him, walking beside him is proving to be a difficult task. 

If only things were different.

-

You venture to the main room where you and the siblings were earlier. 

You do notice that Eloise is no longer here and assume she went somewhere quieter. 

You sit on one of the couches and reach under the couch, to pull out your bag. ‘You are a good man, Edwin.’ 

Anthony watches as you pull out a book, again, doing his best to avoid looking at… certain areas. He grabs whatever book Eloise left behind and sits down on another couch… the one across from you. 

“Is there any particular reason as to why you’ve chosen to sit across from me?” You ask. 

Anthony looks up, observing the way you multi-task, between reading your book and talking to him, “no. The lighting here is good.” 

“And is that why your book is upside down?” 

He looks down, seeing that you are, in fact, correct. “I like a challenge.” 

Your eyes slowly travel up, past your book, and the Viscounts sitting figure to meet his strong gaze. 

It’s too much. 

Both of you stare into each other’s eyes. 

You blink once, gulping down whatever spit has collected in your mouth. You avert your gaze back to the book in your hands. 

Anthony takes the opportunity to occupy the empty space beside you. 

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. 

The heat radiating off him is something you weren’t expecting but you don’t… hate it, some part of you welcomes it. 

Before he could say anything, you get up, tossing the book on the couch, and pace around the room. 

“Why?” You ask, throwing your arms up. 

“Why what?” Anthony asks, pushing himself off the couch. 

“Why- you- ugh,” you groan. 

“Miss?” 

You spin, facing the door, “yes, Edwin?” 

“Dinner is to be served.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Shall we?” Anthony offers his arm. 

“No.” You walk away from him, leaving him to stare at your figure as you walk away. 

-

“If you confess and tell her of your feelings, I believe things will get better, Viscount Bridgerton,” Edwin says. 

“I do hope you are right.” 

“As long as you are honest, all shall be fine. Come along, it’s time for dinner.”

-

“It is a joyous day, indeed,” Violet says. 

“And why is that?” Eloise asks. 

“Our names were not in the gossip columns and our dear friend has come to visit.” 

“We played outside,” Gregory adds before flicking peas at his younger sister. 

Violet is distracted as the youngest siblings argue with one another, so she doesn’t see the interaction between her eldest and you.

-

Anthony leans down, whispering, “I need to speak with you after dinner.” 

“I’m afraid I have to return home after this, which is something I should have done earlier.” 

“It’s urgent that I speak with you.” 

“I am going to refuse you again.” 

“You should stay.” 

“I don’t want to talk to you.” 

“I am not a man who begs but, for you, I will.” 

“Can I enjoy my meal without listening to your voice?” 

“We are not done. You clearly had something important to tell me before we were interrupted.” 

“How were your travels?” Benedict interrupts (the saint he is). 

You happily turn to your friend. “Interesting.” 

“How so?” 

“I won’t go into detail, but I mainly speak of the sights and food.” 

“And what of the people?” 

“Why do you ask?” 

“Has someone,” he glances at Anthony, “caught your eye?” His attention returns to you. 

“No,” you push the food around on your plate.

-

Edwin bursts through the doors, rushing to you. He bends down to whisper in your ear. 

Your eyes widen. The chair scrapes against the floor as you get up, standing behind the chair. Your knuckles are white as can be while you grip the back of the chair. “I apologize for my sudden outburst, but I must make haste and leave. Dinner was lovely and I enjoyed seeing you all, I wish for us to do this again.” 

Your mother’s shrill voice echo throughout the hallway. 

You close your eyes and furrow your brows as you try to figure out how to get her out of here as fast as you can but it’s too late. 

Your mother shouts your name as she bursts through the doors. “Did you enjoy your dinner?” 

“I was just getting ready to leave, mother.” 

“Is that what I’m seeing? Were the Bridgerton’s helping you with your departure?” 

“Please do not use that tone when you speak of them.” 

“We are leaving. Now.” 

“Yes, mother.” You take a deep breath and curtsy, exiting the room. 

Edwin looks back at the family with a heart broken expression, he nods and takes his leave.

-

“What am I to do with you child?” Your mother asks. 

“I am not a child.” 

“No, you’re not a child. You’re one of those ladies who spreads her legs for anyone who gives them attention. I have not the slightest idea as to why you are my heir.” 

“I am a person,” you whisper. 

“What did you say?!” 

“I am a person. I have feelings and I care,” your voice slowly elevates. “I care about what you say about the people who have shown us, shown me nothing but kindness while you show them hate! It is something I expect to never get the answer to but that doesn’t give you the right! Why did you write for me to come back!?” 

“I don’t need to answer someone who clearly has issues of her own, which she should push aside so she can find a good husband and have a family of her own.” 

“Have you ever thought about what I want?” 

“Why would I do such a thing?” 

You backup, suddenly feeling unwell. "You don't care of your child's wishes, their dreams?" 

"Why is that so important?" 

“Because I am your child, the person who you gave life to. You are to love and cherish them even if they give cause you a great deal of pain. It doesn’t matter because you love them. I’m sorry, mother but I will not be a part of this season.” 

She scoffs, “you will and if you don’t you can say goodbye to the precious family you seem to adore.” 

“I am a grown woman; you cannot control me or my life anymore.” 

“As long as you are under my roof, I can.” 

“I don’t live with you, and I did not plan to come home. You said you wished to speak with me and that is what we are doing.” 

She has a bored expression on her face as she asks, “You want to talk? Here?” 

“Yes. Has something happened?” 

“First, listen to my offer.” 

You’re confused. “What?” 

“Listen.” 

“Okay.” 

“If you participate in this season, I will stop asking you about your future. I can tell while you were away, you have grown and blossomed into someone better than I.” 

You tear up, “mama?” 

She cracks a smile; you haven’t called her that since you were a child and before your father died. She takes a step forward, placing a hand on top of yours. “I have gained some news while you were away.” 

You fear the worst. “What is it? Are you alright?” 

“At the moment, I am. But I am to join your father soon. The doctor says I have till the end of the season.” 

“How- how- how long have you known?” 

“I learned of this when you sent your last letter.” 

“Mama! That was months ago.” 

“I know. I also knew you would have dropped everything to come see your “evil” mother.” 

“That’s not true.” 

“I admit, I have not been the kindest person but that doesn’t mean I don’t hold love in my heart for you, my dear. I do and I apologize for my behavior.” 

You shake your head, sniffing, “you don’t- please don’t do this. It feels as if this is a goodbye.” 

“It could be.” 

“No. I will make these next few months well worth remembering. I wish for you to know how much I love you and I am happy that we are to fix our relationship. I only wish we could have done this earlier.” 

“As do I, dear. As do I.”

-

“Where is mama?” You ask Edwin while you push yourself back against the pile of pillows on your bed. 

He says nothing. 

“Is she alright?” 

“I am afraid, there is something I have to tell you, Miss.” 

The familiar burning sensation in your nose and eyes returns, “please, tell me she is alright.” 

“I am afraid not, Miss. It seems… After you two had your talk and went to bed, your mother-” 

Your sweet Harriet holds a bowl for you to take. 

You throw up all and any food you’ve eaten within one day. “I need to prepare for a funeral.” 

“Is that so wise to do right now?” Edwin asks. 

Harriet takes the bowl and leaves. 

“When else am I supposed to do this? She is to be buried within three days.” You get out of bed, walking towards your vanity mirror. 

“That’s so soon.” 

“She always told me if something, such as this happened to her, she had certain arrangements planned ahead and I am to throw a ball. That is all I am to do. I must get ready and start making calls.” 

You call out for Harriet. 

Edwin takes his leave.

-

A knock on the door and Edwin appears. He sees the Bridgerton’s and Hastings. “Good morning to you all but I’m afraid-” 

“I specifically told the florist; I need white roses.”

-

The Bridgerton’s and Edwin turn to see you figuring out how to get everything perfect for the ball. 

Edwin whirls around to face the family once more. “I’m afraid the Lady of the house is busy and won’t be available for another three days.” 

“Has something happened?” Daphne asks. 

Edwin opens his mouth, trying to figure out the right words before closing it. “It has been a tragic morning.” 

“Did something happen to her?” Anthony asks. 

Everyone (even little Albert) glances at the Viscount before returning their attention to the servant. 

“Her mother passed in her sleep.” 

“Oh, how awful,” Daphne says. 

“The Miss’s and her mother had just talked about rekindling their relationship the previous evening and now she’s gone.” 

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Violet asks. 

“I think it would be wise if you were all gone,” Edwin leans in, closer to whisper, “she has nearly taken off the maid’s and chef’s head because they did not get the correct item she requested.” 

“Let us in,” Eloise orders, pushing through the small crowd, standing before Edwin. 

“I advise that you leave.” 

“Either you let them in or have them return home, Edwin. We have too much to do,” you say. 

“Make your choice.” 

They all step through the door. 

He sighs, “of course.” 

“You have help, let us help you before you wear yourself out,” Daphne pleads, holding your hands. 

“Daphne, I thank you and your family for being here, but I need to do this.” 

“We are helping. Each of us can have a task you assign to us.”

 Edwin takes the opportunity to get you to slow down and interrupts “your mother wrote you a letter, Miss,” he holds the letter up. 

You turn away from Daphne, “what- what does it say?” 

“I believe you will find out once your read it.” 

“I’ll be back,” you whisper. 

“Of course, do you want one of us to go with you?” 

“No. I’ll be back.”

-

You enter your father’s private office that hasn’t been used since you were a mere age of nine. 

‘It stills looks the same.’ 

You pull the dusty covers off the desk and chair, coughing and wafting the air. “I guess they did listen when mama tells- told them not to enter.” 

You sit down, inhaling as images of your papa sitting in this very chair run through your mind. 

You open the envelope, pulling out the letter, unfolding it to find multiple pieces of paper. 

‘My dearest daughter, I hope this letter answers any questions you had regarding my behavior over the last sixteen years…’

-

“I need to clear my head. I’m going for a walk,” Anthony says to Benedict. 

“Do not try to find her? She needs time alone and to clear her head,” the second eldest responds. 

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do.” 

“I’m not, I’m looking out for my friend.” Anthony says nothing as he walks away.

-

Anthony knocks on the door after hearing the sounds of your sniffles. 

You wipe away your tears, “come in.” 

He enters and closes the door behind him. He stands in front of the desk, “how are you?” 

“I’m… I don’t know how I feel.” 

“It’s normal to feel that way.” 

“What’s even stranger is that I’m telling you all this. I never imagined you would be here attempting to comfort me.” 

“You speak of me as if I’m not the best person to help you grieve,” he hands you his handkerchief. 

You snatch it from him, dabbing your eyes you roll your eyes. 

“Did you roll your eyes at me?” 

“No, why would I?” 

“I understand you’re going through a family tragedy but that doesn’t give you the right to be-” 

You push yourself out of the chair, your voice drowns out the legs screeching against the floor, “what? Unkind?” 

“No- I wasn’t going to say that.” 

“Then what is it that you’re trying to say because you- you,” you groan, throwing your hands up before covering your face. 

“Why are you having such a difficult time speaking with me?” 

You remove your hands from your face, “Like you aren’t doing the same.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Before I left, whenever I would walk into a room, you would immediately turn and walk in the opposite direction.” 

“It’s not what it looked it like.” 

You roll your eyes, “I already know of where you ran off to when you weren’t with your family. You need not lie to me, if it was something I did, I wish to know what so I can right my wrong and we can be- we can have a better friendship.” 

“What if I don’t want a friendship?” 

“What? So- so you wish to cut off all ties with each other then?” You place a hand on your stomach as your eyes soften at the thought of never seeing or speaking to him again and close your eyes. 

Anthony is quick, he steps towards you. He pulls your arm away from your torso and holds onto your forearms. “No, no,” he reaches up, cupping your cheek. 

You open your eyes to find his strong gaze already on you. 

“That is the last thing I would do to you.” He leans in, resting his forehead on yours, “you mean too much to me,” he brushes his thumb against your cheekbone. “I made a promise to your father and myself when we were children, I vowed to never allow anyone to hurt you but,” he sighs. “I failed you and I don’t know what how to make things right.” 

“What if things can never be right between us again?” 

“I refuse to believe that is the case.” 

“How can you say that when we haven’t talked to each other for some time?” 

“That doesn’t matter.” 

“It does if you want to keep your promise,” you point out, slipping out of his grasp. “I don’t want you to feel as if you have something to prove or as if you have to keep your promise because I have lost so much so soon. You don’t need to look out for me, I am a grown woman. I am no longer the little girl that would seek you and your siblings out to play or ask either you or Benedict to accompany me places.” 

“I’m doing this because I made a promise-” 

“Then why did you bring it up?” 

“So, you would understand when I tell you how my…” 

“How?” 

“When Benedict came into my private office the night you left, I was ready to go out and look for you.” 

You furrow your brows, not at all expecting him to confess. 

“He informed me of the reasoning behind your departure.” 

You nod, scoffing through your nose, “so you’re only here to make amends for the sake of yourself.” You point to the door, “please leave.” 

“You misunderstand me-” 

“I don’t think I am. I swear, here and now, I will continue to keep your secret relationship with her, to myself.” 

“That’s not what I’m telling you.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

“No!” He holds your forearms, holding you in place so you stop pacing around the room and focus on him and him only. “Stop interrupting me and listen.” 

You hate to admit it… but you like this. 

The feeling of him close, the slight twitch in his lips as he attempts to calm himself, his strong and semi calloused hands on your bare skin. 

Yes, he held you earlier but, it’s as if something in the air has changed. 

“The night you left; I broke my relationship off with her because I realized the truth.” 

You pull your gaze away from his lips, staring into his eyes, you ask, “the truth?” 

“And yesterday.” 

“What is it you’re trying to say, Anthony?” 

“I love it when you say my name,” he rests his forehead on your once again. “I want you to say it more.” 

“Are you feeling alright?” You lift your hand to feel his forehead, but Anthony knows what you’re about to do and brings your hand away from his face, holding it instead. 

He smiles, a warm feeling settles in his heart at the thought of you caring for him. “I am fine. What I am saying is true.” 

“About what?” 

“I’ve dreamed of hearing my name on your lips.” 

“Anthony,” you gasp. “What you are saying-” 

“Is true. When Benedict came into my office, I nearly went mad trying to remember your favorite places you visit when you need time to yourself but then my brother told me the truth behind your departure and…” 

‘Thump thump, thump thump’ 

He leans into you again, resting his forehead on yours, closer than he was before. 

This time, your noses touch, brushing against each other as the Viscount leans in even further. He brings one hand up to cup your cheek before closing his eyes. 

‘Thump thump, thump thump’ 

His lips barely touch yours before you grab at him. 

Your hands wrap around his head, one hand makes its way to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of his hair. Your free hand rests on his cheek, you can feel his sideburns under your fingertips. 

Anthony still has one hand on your cheek. His free hand travels down the curves of your body, pulling you closer as he reaches for your leg to wrap it around his waist with his hand full of your dress, he begins pushing it up. 

The two of you pull apart to catch your breaths, for a quick moment before returning to your “inappropriate” act. 

Anthony pulls away and starts to kiss along your jawline before returning to your lips. 

You hardly notice but a small noise in the back of your throat catches his attention, encouraging him to continue and slightly boosting his ego. 

“I love you,” the man breathes out.

-

Before things could go any farther, the door closed harshly, not technically slamming shut (because of the other guests being in the house) but close enough to have the same effect. 

You pull back from him, your hands find Anthony’s shoulders. 

“What are you doing?” Benedict hisses at Anthony. He pushes his brother away from you, pulling you closer towards him. 

He turns around, ready to tell you what you did was wrong (not just because it’s his brother) but because you’re going through an emotional time and need to heal. 

Benedict sighs at the sight of your shocked and slightly (who are you kidding) disheveled figure. “Fix your dress while I talk to my brother.” 

-

He shoves Anthony into a corner, pretending to fix his hair before smacking the back of his head, “what were you thinking? Have you no morals? She is in mourning over her mother, and you pretend to come in and help her through this time? Are you still upset that you’ve lost your precious soprano?” 

“This isn’t about her. I don’t have anything to do with her anymore. I came here to help your friend understand that it’s okay to feel whatever she may feel.” 

“Was that before or after you almost ruined her and her reputation?” 

“I wouldn’t do that to her.” 

“Didn’t look like it?” 

“I wish to marry her. I stopped my search for a Viscountess because I love her. I understand now what you’ve been trying to tell me.” 

“Yes, very good. But I didn’t mean for you to have your way with her before confessing or proposing to her. She is my friend, and you are my brother, I want you both to be happy but as long as you do this right. Allow her time to grieve before pursuing after her. You can be her shoulder to cry on, if you wish it, but I will not allow you to ruin her because you have no patience.” 

Anthony rolls his eyes. 

“I mean it, Anthony. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior from you.” 

“Yes, mother.”

“Have we come to an agreement?” 

“Yes, Benedict.” 

“Good,” he leans down to whisper, “and when you ask for her hand, you are to come to me first.” 

“Why?” 

“She has no father and no brother. I am the closest thing to a male figure she has.” 

The Viscount sighs, “fine. I shall ask you first.” 

Benedict smiles, patting his shoulder, “good. Now get out.” 

“What?” 

“She needs time away from you to cool down and finish making her plans.” “I won’t be-” 

Benedict raises a brow. 

“Fine.” Anthony steps around his brother. He stops in front of you, pecking your cheek, “we need to talk soon.” 

‘Thump thump, thump thump’ 

And he’s gone. 

-

“Are you alright?” Benedict asks you. 

“I don’t know. I think your brother just confessed his feelings to me.” 

“Finally.” 

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing.” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“I don’t think he meant to say what he did to me.” 

“I think he did.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“He has been in love with you for a long time and only realized it himself.” 

“WHAT?”

-

“Thank you all for coming,” you announce standing on the balcony of your home. “In honor of my mother, she asked me to do one thing in the time of her passing and that was to throw a ball. Please, enjoy!” 

The guests clap before going off to do their own thing. 

A small smile stretches across your lips as you watch the guests before spotting Anthony being nudged by Benedict who then points up to you. 

Anthony sets his drink down before making his way towards the house. 

-

You walk in, aiming to hide in one of the many unused rooms. 

You wind up making your way back to one of the empty sitting rooms, the very one you were in before the ball. 

The fire burning brighter and higher than it did before, you assume someone added more wood to the fireplace during your brief disappearance, a few minutes ago. 

You pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. 

The door opens and closes but you don’t hear it. 

Anthony walks beside you with his hands behind his back, observing the way you get too into your thoughts. 

You stop when you begin to hear another set of shoes clacking against the hardwood floor. You turn your head and find the man who invades your mind, dreams, and your heart standing there. “Shouldn’t you be down enjoying the party with your family?” 

“How could I do that when there’s a handsome woman up here alone, avoiding me.” 

“I’m not avoiding you.” 

“Running back inside your house as soon as we make eye contact says otherwise.” 

You say nothing. 

“Can we talk?” 

“We are.” 

“About the other night, in your father’s-” 

“I know the night of which you speak of!” You put your gloved hand over his mouth, pointing at him, “don’t say any more.” Removing your hand from his mouth, you take a step back and attempt to distract yourself by “fixing” your dress. 

Anthony takes a step forward, invading the space you purposefully made. “I was serious.” 

“About what?” 

“Don’t act as if you have forgotten what I told you.” 

“Maybe I want to hear you say them again so that I may understand what it is you’re saying.” 

“I… am not good with expressing my emotions, as I’m sure you know.” 

You stand in front of him, blocking him in so he doesn’t try and pace around the room like you did. “I do,” you reach for his hand. “I also have an idea on the matter.” 

“And that is?” 

“If you admit your truths, I shall admit mine as well. It seems only fair, doesn’t it?” 

“It does,” he smiles. “I came here tonight to admit that I have found someone… I wish for others to call Viscountess.” 

You hum. 

“She is like no other. She is someone who has been there for me during the hardest times of my life. Someone who already knows how to handle Gregory and Hyacinth when they are being children. Someone who knows how to talk with Eloise about books and other things I don’t care to listen to.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“And play piano Francesca. Taught Colin how to dance properly when we were children because he would constantly step on mother’s toes. She can speak with Daphne about things only my sister enjoys. She lets Benedict ramble on about his art. Mother adores her and keeps asking when we’ll marry.” 

“She sounds like quite the lady.” 

“She is. I only hope that she says yes when I ask to court her.” 

“Have you asked her properly?” 

“My dear, would you-” 

“Yes!” 

“You didn’t let me finish?” 

“You don’t need to but know one thing.” 

“Yes?” 

You pinch his chin between your thumb and index finger, “if you I find out you leave me for another, there will be hell to pay.” 

He smirks, “I think I’m going to have my hands full with you and our children.” 

“Really? You think we are to have children?” 

“I overheard you and Daphne gossiping on the matter,” he bends down, whispering in your ear, “I believe you said you wished for me to be the father.” 

You gasp, lightly slapping his shoulder making him pull away to watch you. “I did no such thing. You lie,” turning around, you cross your arms. “It was Daphne who forced you to join us and play the father when we were children.” 

He stands behind you, placing his hands on your waist. “Yes, but you enjoyed it just as much.” 

“Very funny.” 

“I like to think I am.” 

“What are we going to tell your family?” 

“I don’t think we’ll need to.” 

You tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder. “What makes you say that?” 

“Edwin,” Anthony points out, referring to the man standing in the corner. 

“It’s going to be a joyous wedding. I’m happy for the two of you,” said man says, wiping his cheeks. 

“Edwin?” 

“Yes, Miss?” 

“Please tell the others standing outside the door the Bridgerton’s are to have another wedding.”

-

“I’m here to ask you something,” Anthony begins. 

“Go ahead. I’m ready. Wow me, brother.” 

Anthony opens his mouth only to be interrupted. 

“But remember, the fate of your marriage rests in my hands,” Benedict smirks at the sight of his big brother squirming in his seat. 

“Are you positive I am to ask you for her hand in marriage?” 

“It only seems right. Go on.” 

“Benedict, I have something important to ask of you.” He takes a deep breath, “I’m asking you, for your friend’s hand in marriage.” 

“And you love her?” 

“More than I can say I care about you at this moment.” 

“After that comment, I’m not sure I want her to be in a marriage, if she’s to be tied to you for the rest of your lives.” 

“If you think about it, she will officially be your sister and a part of this family.” 

The second eldest hums, “I do like the sound of that, but if she really wanted to be a part of this family, she could marry me instead.” 

Anthony glares at him, slowly rising out of his seat. 

“I’m kidding. Of course, you have my permission brother. Marry my friend. This will be a joyous wedding,” Benedict pushes himself out of the chair. “I will be leaving, for no specific reason, other than to ensure my health will remain as it is.” As soon as Benedict runs out the door, he bumps into you. “Congratulations!” 

And he’s gone. 

You look back before turning around again, finding your, hopefully, soon to be husband standing in front of you. “Did you threaten him?” 

“No.” 

“He said he could marry me, if he wanted too again?” 

“Yes- wait- again. He’s done this before?” 

“Do not worry, dear. I still have eyes for you and only you.” 

“Soon we will have the same name,” he smiles before kissing you. 

“He said yes?” 

“He did.” 

“Oh! We have to start planning,” you tug on his arm, pulling him to follow.” 

“Can’t we wait to do this? Or let my mother take over?” 

“No, this is our wedding so, we should plan it.”

-

“You do look lovely. Doesn’t she Eloise?” Francesca nudges her sister. 

A few months later

“I always knew, you would make a beautiful bride,” Violet says, watching you finish the final touches to your outfit. 

Eloise lifts her head, scanning you up and down, “yes. She looks very lovely. Can I leave?” 

You smile, “the day is almost over and please, for me, don’t read. I promise after you can hide in a room and do whatever you please after one dance.” 

“But-” 

“One dance.” 

The second eldest female of the Bridgerton family sighs, “if I must.” 

“Think of it as a gift to me.” 

“Well, when you put it like that.” 

“Are you ready?” Daphne asks. 

“No but it’s only nerves and I know that we’ll be fine because we have each other.” 

“You can’t be talking about Anthony,” both Daphne and Benedict say. 

“We both know he is a mess. Run away with me instead?” Benedict holds your hand for dramatic affect. 

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be helping the groom?” Daphne asks. 

“I helped him as much as I could. I could only do so much. Now, are you ready? I’m here because your fiancé wants to marry you. Now.” 

You push yourself out of the seat. “How do I look?” 

“Like you should run away with me.” He leans down, “if we leave now no one but my sisters and mother would know,” he whispers. 

You pull your hands out of his grasp, putting your hands on your hips, “I will kick you out of this wedding. Do not tempt me.” 

He gives you a cheeky smile, “I would never. But are we ready?” 

You deeply inhale, “yes.” 

Benedict holds his arm out for you, “shall we?” 

You chuckle, “let’s do this.”

-

“Why don’t you tell him after dinner?” 

Two seasons later (Autumn and Winter)

“How am I to tell him? How did you tell Simon?” You throw yourself over the back of the chair Daphne sits in. 

“I can’t blurt out something as important as this. Do you know what his thoughts on his children are?” 

“Shouldn’t you know seeing you’re his wife?” She teases. 

You sigh, pushing yourself off the chair, collapsing onto the couch with your hand on your forehead. “I do but I feel he tells me what I want to hear.” 

“Does he?” 

“No.” 

“Then why-” 

“I’m worried about his reaction! I don’t- I don’t,” you groan. 

“You don’t what?” 

“Benedict!” 

“Maybe he can help?” Daphne suggests. 

“Hello, Benedict,” you slowly say as a chesire cat smiles comes across your lips. 

“I don’t like that smile.” He leans his torso towards his sisters, “what’s happened?” 

“She has news.” 

“She is with child?” He jokes. 

Daphne averts her gaze elsewhere. 

“Please tell me that’s not true.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re growing a part of my brother, that’s not what I wanted to hear today,” he fake gags. 

You push yourself up, resting on your knees, holding onto the back of the couch. “How do I tell Anthony I am with child?” 

“What did you say?” Anthony stands in front of the doors. 

You look away from the second eldest Bridgerton, slowly turning till you find the shocked expression on your husband’s face. 

“Anthony! Darling!” You jump off the couch to pull him out of his thoughts. “How are you?” 

“You’re- you-” 

“Maybe we should go for a walk?” 

-

“You’re with child?” 

“I am.” He smirks, “it seems as though playing house with you was good practice.” 

You guffaw, “have you no shame, husband?” 

“When it comes to you, no, my darling wife.” 

“Obviously, it’s me.” 

“Now who has no shame.” 

“I am with child; I am feeling many emotions. Do not toy with me?” 

“I would never.” 

"You do this very thing daily and you say never," you scoff. 

"I don't recall ever doing such a thing." 

"Of course, you don't. Perhaps," you glance up at him through your eyelashes, fluttering them. "It's time we return home and I remind you," you add, tugging on his coat. 

"Don't you mean I remind you, my beautiful wife." 

You hum, straightening his jacket. "No." 

"I think you're confused. Remember when you let me prove that I desire you and more," he leans into you, "as I tied you to our bed and ravished you." 

Your lips twitch, "it appears as though you'll need to remind me of that night. I seem to have forgotten." 

“Now you tease me? It’s as if you can’t wait till, we go home.” 

“And if I say I can’t?” 

“We may have an uncomfortable talk with my family.” 

“Anthony!” You smack his arm. 

“I’m trying to accommodate my beautiful and pregnant wife who is making it hard not to do-” 

“No,” you shake your head, chuckling. “No, I cannot do this. We are not going to have our way with one another while we are at your family home.” 

“As much as I hate to admit it, Daphne and Simon do this very thing whenever they come over and mood strikes them.” 

“Yes, but we are not them. We are-” 

“Worse.” 

“Wor- how dare you! I hope you speak of yourself because it is not me who comes to their wife whenever the mood strikes them first.” 

You lift up the skirts of your dress about an inch off the ground so you can walk away. 

Anthony follows, “I am not always the first to admit, I wish to enjoy a special moment in the arms of my desirable wife. There have been times when you come to me.” 

You spin around, facing him, “how about we take equal parts of the blame and move on?” 

“So, you admit it.” 

You roll your eyes as he wraps his arms around your waist. 

“Yes, I admit it, my idiotic husband,” you peck his lips. “Whom I love dearly.” 

“As I love you, my dear.”

-

“I’m going to need you to push, Viscountess Bridgerton.” 

You scream, throwing your head back. You shake your head, “I can’t- I can’t. It hurts.” 

“I know but your child is almost here. Think about the life you, Anthony, and your newborn child can have,” Violet says, holding your hand. 

Daphne whispers into her mother’s ear before exiting. “Push, Viscountess.” 

You scream once more and push. 

“You’re so close.” 

“I’m here. I’m here,” Anthony pants, rushing to your side. He holds your hand, watching as you scream. 

“One more.” 

You let out the loudest scream you could and push with all your might, almost crushing both, Violet and Anthony’s hands but it doesn’t matter when your child’s cries files the air, echoing in the room. 

You close your eyes, resting your head against the pillows stacked behind you. 

“Congratulations on your son, Viscount Bridgerton.” 

The midwife cleans your son before wrapping him in a blanket and handing him to Anthony, who holds him as if he was the most fragile piece of kitchenware. 

You see this and it reminds you of when you were children and Daphne wanted to throw a tea party for her newest sibling, Francesca. 

“I’m happy to see you both are well. I do hope you bring him by soon,” Violet says. 

“Of course, we’re going to bring the newest Bridgerton by. I wish for him to meet his new hide and seek playmates.” 

“I’m worried you are obsessed with that game, darling,” Anthony chimes in. 

The maids and midwife help clean up the bed, getting rid of the used rags. 

“I’ll come by to check on you later.” Violet is the last person to exit the room. 

You turn to see well your husband is cradling the little bundle of joy in his arms. “I hope he has your sideburns,” you joke. 

“He has your nose.” 

“That’s terrible.” 

“He makes it look cute.” 

“I’ll take it as a compliment… have you thought of any names?” 

“I’m afraid I haven’t. I was too worried about you.” 

“Yes, and you had nothing to worry about.” 

“You wanted to go riding.” 

“Is it a crime to want to be outdoors?” 

“You were no more than eight and a half months pregnant. The doctors said you were to rest.” 

“I was.” 

“In bed.” 

“It was too boring, sitting in bed but look at us now. We are fine. You, me, and Fredrick.” 

“Fredrick?” 

“Do you not like it?” 

“I think it is a good, strong name.” 

Your smile drops, “we are not naming him after you.” 

“My name is perfectly fine for a young boy.” 

“Yes, but think of when I say it,” you notice his expression hasn’t changed, he’s still confused. “When we are alone.” 

Nothing. 

“I am not going to act it out but think of what we did… numerous times before I was with child, think of when I call your name then. I don’t wish to have those memories in the back of my mind when I call for our child.” 

“I like Fredrick.” 

“Exactly. Now, come closer. I wish to hold you and our little Freddy.” 

“Both of us?” 

“Hand me, Freddy and you, sit beside me holding us close.” 

Once the two of you are situated, you study little Freddy’s features. 

“Hello, little one,” you smile down at the sleepy baby who rubs his eyes. “It seems as if someone is tired.” 

“I think you both are.” 

“If you were in my position, you would be tired too.” 

“I made a comment.” 

“It wasn’t wise to do so.” 

“No, but I am happy that you two are alright,” he pushes the hair away from your face, brushing his thumb against your cheek. 

“If I fall asleep, I apologize.” 

“Go to sleep.” 

“You are too good to me,” you mumble. 

“I think it’s the other way around.” He looks down to find both you and little Freddy are asleep. 

He pecks your forehead and watches over the two of you until it gets darker, and the midwife comes to put Freddy in the bassinet near the bed. 

He removes his coat and day clothes, opting for something more comfortable in case he needs to wake up and take care of his son. 

His son. 

He pulls you close as gently as he can, making sure your both comfortable before he falls asleep with a smile spread across his lips.

-

A few hours later, a cry wakes the both of you. “Seems as though we won’t be getting a lot of sleep.” 

“Are you not tired?” Anthony asks, getting out of bed to pick up the newborn. 

“I am. Why?” 

“You joke as if you’ve never fallen asleep. It still fascinates me on how you wake up with energy.” 

You take Freddy from your husband, positioning him in your arms so that you are comfortable. “That’s because you married an amazing woman whom you now get to call your wife.”  

He lights a candle, so you have more light. He pauses when he sees you preparing yourself to feed the baby. 

You look up at him through your lashes. “You’re staring at me, as if you’ve never seen them before.” 

“I’ve never seen you use them for anything else… other than what I use them for.” 

You scoff through your nose, “must you make such inappropriate jokes now. I am feeding our child.” 

“Yes, and you do it well.” 

“I’m close to kicking you out so you’ll have to sleep in your private office chambers.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Don’t tempt me.”

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[raisin-shell]

Hey beautiful! I’ve been thinking about something you said yesterday about not ever really writing the guys’ first times. And I know how well you write from the turtles’ perspective. So my request is this: can you write their first time having sex, but from their first person perspective? I’d love to read their thoughts and feelings about it! 😍 love you!!

Oh my goodness I’m IN LOVE WITH THIS ASK!!! Absolutely. I’ve never written about their first time with a female so this should be interesting and fun! Plus… FIRST PERSON!!!! Let’s get it.

NSFW/SMUT/LANGUAGE

Leonardo

Ah my first time… I remember it well. It was winter years ago, right after Christmas but not quite New Years Eve. My significant other that I had been seeing for quite some time had come over to watch movies. Naturally we always agreed on something B rated, knowing full well we would use this private time to our full advantage. There we were, cuddled in a tangled mess beneath an oversized blanket upon the couch. I knew the sweet taste of her kiss by now. Also the feel of her body against mine. My hands were always free to roam, but I never did so… we never quite went that far… until this one particular evening.

I had the most aching hard on I think to date. And even though I had never smelled a woman’s arousal prior, my senses were screaming through my mind. Definitely had like this gravitational pull on me both mentally and physically. Still, I kept my hands at bay until she straddled my lap. I was in complete shock, worried she’d feel, no… knowing she’d feel the massive hardness beneath my pants. And I know she felt it because I could feel her soft heat settling around my shaft.

Our lips remained locked, tongues tangled and dancing and with one roll of her hips against my lap…. My hands no longer obeyed my mind. Literally they took on a mind of their own. I began to slip my hands beneath her top, oh the smooth feeling of her silky smooth skin sent shivers down my spine and another throb to my cock. Just her skin! She encouraged me, letting out a playful giggle against my kiss and pulling her top off for me, tossing it to the floor with little care.

Her bra was my shade of blue, her breasts sitting perfectly in the twin royal blue cups made a perfect valley I couldn’t help but bury my face in, peppering the two masses with nibbles and kisses. Was I nervous? Excuse my French but… fuck yes. She was beautiful. Never in my right mind would I have thought to ever have an opportunity to even have a girlfriend, much less have sex with her. Make love too her. I was a wreck even if it may not have shown on my face or in my demeanor.

My heart hammered in my chest, eagerly relieving her from the bra and letting those beautiful, perfect breasts bounce free. I took one of her nipples into my mouth, greedily lapping and suckling. I may have been too worked up because she had to remind me to be gentle with my teeth. This being my first time, I followed her every command, every moan, cry, whimper, wince… I studied her. Like an foreign opponent I had no idea how to fight. She sensed this, gently stroking my cheeks as she kissed my forehead.

“Let me teach you?”

It was more of a statement than a question and I silently nodded. Grinning shyly as if she wouldn’t realize a giant mutant turtle had probably never experienced sex before. She slipped to her knees, her hand firmly palming my shaft through my pants and I could have swore I could feel my very soul leaving my body. I had never been touched by anyone else but myself. The moan I let out just couldn’t be helped and I found my eyes half hooding with lust as I watched her unlace the crotch of my pants.

I was nervous. So very nervous. Would she be weirded out by the way my penis looked? Would it’s size scare her? Would it’s color disgust her? All these things flowed through my mind as I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes and felt the cool air hit my manhood. A few seconds went by and I began to silently panic until I felt the warmth of her hand wrap around my shaft and my eyes peered open. A sultry look laid upon her face, her hand slowly twisting and tugging at my shaft caused a deep churr to come from me.

I froze, wide eyed I’m sure… she had never heard me make that noise before. She continued, wetting her lips and guiding the head of my cock to them. I began panting frantically, trying to remember my fathers mantras just before you’re about to receive your first blow job is much harder than it sounds. I swallowed hard just as I felt the warmth of her lips sink over the tip and I let out the loudest moan to the sensation. I remember my thighs spreading comfortably, my hand softly reaching down to cradle her cheek as her beautiful face bobbed up and down my thickness. It was pure bliss. And honestly I didn’t know I could get any harder but, I certainly did.

Once she had gotten me exactly where she wanted me, she began slipping her jeans and panties to the floor. I became extremely nervous again, worried about my size… where would it go? Would I fit? Would I hurt her? Dammit I still can focus on the mantra! Before I could even express my concerns, she was back to a straddle on my lap. Ooohhhh the smell of her arousal shut out any damn mantra no matter how powerful. I rolled my hips in eagerness against her soaked folds. Yes. She was soaked. For me. I hadn’t even done anything. I could not believe this but, there wasn’t any time for thoughts on that now.

Her lips found mine again, my hands now squeezing her rear helped guide her tight entrance instinctively towards the head of my cock. I wanted her oh god damn I wanted her so badly my cock had developed a pulse. I slowly and carefully sunk her down upon my shaft, the tight squeeze causing me to churr again only this time I wasn’t as embarrassed by it. She had accepted this part of who I was. The feeling was indescribable. A tight, soft wetness… warm and secure… and holy god pleasurable. I wanted to fill her to the brim. That urge to just thrust kept nagging at the back of my mind but I knew this had to be taken with vast precaution as to not cause injury to her.

Once she had my cock fully seated and had adjusted herself, she began to lift herself upward, the pull of her tight little cunt against my cock had me hissing through clenched teeth and growling.

“You like that baby? You want me to go faster?”

She cooed at me and naturally everything in my entire being is screaming dear god woman YES. But my stoic nature held myself hostage once again, softly speaking the words ‘yes, please’ as if I had been a bad boy and was about to receive my punishment. Her body began moving faster, to the point of bouncing. At one point she had leaned back placing her hands on my knees so I could see her breasts bounce and watch her folds stretching around my cock over and over. I could feel my release getting close when something else happened I did not expect nor had never experienced. A woman’s orgasm.

Her back arched, her moans turning more into cries had me wondering what in the hell was going on. Then her legs began to twitch and tremble almost violently. Then a silent scream came from her pursed lips, head lulling backwards and her hair falling down her back as I felt her cunt begin to pulse and fluid gush around my cock. It didn’t take me long to figure out what had happened for the mere sight of this woman coming unraveled was all it took for my release to come surging through.

I swear to you on everything I know as a ninja, I seated my cock so far up inside her as I deposited my seed. I wanted to fill her to the brim, indeed she allowed me to do just that. It was the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done and it came some naturally. And so, that was my first time. Yes, I got caught. We were a bit too loud. I got quite the lecture being the leader and as such I must lead by example but, in this one instance of the rarity of me getting into trouble…. It was so, so very worth it.

Raphael

Mine’s a little different than fearless here. It actually happened with tha first chick I ever fell in love with… Mona Lisa. Now, it’s no damn secret how open tha both of us were with our relationship. Most would say our PDAdar was off tha charts. Irregardless, we didn’t actually have sex until well into our relationship. Basically due ta it bein’ a really long distance one. Once we found out Mona would be stationed here on earth, we all decided ta have a little celebration. It was after tha celebration when things got hot an heavy. I didn’t realize it at tha time, but she had already planned tha whole thing out.

She had went missin’ for a few minutes. I figured she went ta tha bathroom but she had been gone fer quite some time so, I decided ta go check on her. She wasn’t in tha bathroom but I noticed my bedroom door closed an what looked like lights flickerin’ from tha space beneath. I decided ta investigate. There she was… rose petals spread all over my bed, candles lit an her layin’ dead center wearin’ nothin’ but this deep red laced lingerie. Don’t ask me how a salamander with a tail can pull off a thong… but she did. I was speechless.

I stood there frozen solid. Somethin’ I never did around her. Always so sure of myself. So cocky. Especially when it came ta her. Not this time. I stood like a deer frozen in headlights. Completely terrified. I swallowed hard as she crawled from tha bed, prancin’ her sexy ass towards me. I began ta panic. I’d never done this before. What if I screw up? What if I’m not good at it? What if this one moment fucks up our entire relationship? I wasn’t prepared an normally that was my thing! Always ready fer anythin’. I’d never been so scared in my life of a woman before.

She came up ta me, wrappin’ her arms around my neck an pullin’ me inta her kiss. Now that was somethin’ I was very familiar with. I let my guard down ta taste her, leg kickin’ back at tha door ta slam it shut as my hands slipped ta her bare ass. It was tha first time I’d ever felt her ass without clothin’. I felt my cock swell almost instantly ta tha feel of it. An her tail was wrapped an coiled tight around my thigh an calf. I tried ta lose myself in her kiss just like I always would, but this time was different. My mind wouldn’t shut tha fuck off. All I could think about was tha massive hard on I had, tha damn thing was pulsin’ against tha bare flesh of her belly and I knew she could feel it. I churred uncontrollably, my mind screaming fer me ta stop because I had no fuckin’ clue what I was doin’ but my body just seemed ta be set on some sort of hormonal auto pilot. I was literally thinking with my other head while my actual conscience went flying out tha window before my very eyes. Yeah. It was deep.

Before my churring could stop it’s rattle, her legs were straddlin’ my waist an I could feel tha heated softness of her pussy lips cradlin’ my thickness. Then her hips began to roll, gliding that sweet heat up and down the under ridge of my shaft. My mind raced in panic, thoughts of how massive I actually was an how I didn’t wanna hurt her… not like this. All flooded through my mind and still my body flipped hers back against tha wall, our mouths still locked an tongues tangled. I released my cock, rockin’ my hips slowly an gently so she could get a good feel of it. Fuck she was so wet. An her lips were so swollen, tha imprint left in tha red lace was enough ta make me bust just lookin’ at it. An her smell… god damn she smelled like her body was begging ta be fucked. And still my mind kept blowin’ tha sexual high.

I pulled my lips from hers reluctantly, my hand slippin’ down to tha thin fabric ta let those juicy folds free as I glided my bare cock along her slickened slit for tha first time. Another churr ripped from me. Couldn’t help it, tha sensation was indescribable.

“Are ya sure this… is this what cha really want?”

I ask shakily, tryin’ ta hide my nervousness with a growl but I’m pretty sure she could see through it. She gave me a sexy smirk as one of her hands wrapped around my girth and she shifted her hips guidin’ my head ta her tight openin’.

“How many chances do we get to actually be alone hm? Just calm down and fuck me already. Please, big daddy?”

Now she’s gone an done it. My first pet name an honestly it let me know that she knew exactly what she was workin’ with an she was more than willin’. My lips met hers again as I sunk myself inside slowly an I swear on God I was seeing stars through tha back of my eyelids. I could feel every inch of my cock stretchin’ her, bein’ swallowed an taken by her slowly and deeply until I bottomed out. I churred deeply against her kiss, praisin’ her an twitchin’ my cock as much as I could so she could get adjusted to my size. I don’t know how I knew how ta do all this. It’s like my natural instinct or somethin’ just kicked in. I felt so secure inside her. So whole like we were finally one. I never wanted ta leave, never wanted that one moment ta end but my hips had other plans as they began ta withdraw from her.

Holy shit tha pull she had on my cock nearly sent me into some abyss somewhere but I knew I had ta keep it together. I plunged forward forcefully, burying my face inta her neck ta avoid seein’ her wince as cries begin to ring from her throat. The first few were similar, awkward but necessary because those cries of discomfort soon melted into moans of pleasure as her hips began rollin’ against mine eagerly. The tightness remained but the tension melted like butter, slick as her pussy was wrapped around my thick cock. I finally shut my mind off an let my body do tha thinkin’ fer me.

My hips began snappin’ up inta her, tha ridge of my head strikin’ somethin’ deep inside that had her back archin’ against tha wall an her voice drawin’ hoarse. I could feel her fingernails peircin’ my skin, her whole body tensin’ around me tellin’ me she was gettin’ close ta her release. My hips jutted faster, rod thickenin’ in preparation fer my own climax when suddenly my ears were filled with the sounds of her cries of pleasure. Her thick little cunt began its pulse around my cock and that’s all it took to pull one bitch of a churr from me as I blew my whole entire load off into her.

I can’t tell ya how long we stayed in that position. Just talkin’, laughin’, dumb shit I didn’t care as long as I got an extra second or two ta stay inside her. We eventually did go back out to tha party but truth be told I could have stayed like that all night. It was truly an experience I’ll never forget.

Donatello

Hmm… it appears I too had a very different experience. *ahem* My first time actually started out as an experiment. This was years ago but I had joined a group chat and had been talking with a woman I had a lot in common with. She understood fully that I was a scientist, a mutant and also that I lived beneath the city.

Now mind you she had no idea what my real name was, that I am a ninja or what my role is pertaining to the city’s protection. When we had made arrangements to meet for this “experiment”, she was fully aware that I would be blind folding her so that she would not be able to re locate my location. I know this is starting out a bit chilling but just bare with me. Everything was consensual you see.

Let me back up a bit… this started out with her telling me about her ultimate fantasy… being sexually experimented on by a scientist. I mean, I’d have been foolish not to have ran with this. Fast forward to me slipping the black sack from her head.

“Where… where am I?”

“You’re in a lab located somewhere underneath the city. Don’t bother screaming. No one is going to hear you.”

I tapped my pen gingerly against my clipboard. I can feel her eyes absorbing me, taking in my massively tall frame and distorted non human like features.

“I’m a turtle if you’d like to know.”

I say this dryly as I begin to check her vitals. This woman is beautiful. Thick, long wavy dark hair. Tall. Curves hugging the right places. I jot down her vitals in my notes setting the clipboard aside as I prepare the EKG monitor.

“Remove your clothing, panties and bra as well, and lay back on the table.”

I instructed her to do this as I’m preparing the machine, making sure not to watch her undress for her own comfort. It wasn’t until she was laying on the cot that my eyes first feasted upon her naked body. But I couldn’t allow myself too much indulgence for too long. I had work to do. I began with her wrists first, strapping them into their restraints and then to her ankles. Her breathing deepened as her thighs spread, each ankle having to be strapped to the opposite side of the table left her folds bare to the cool air of my lab.

“Poor girl. Are we comfortable?”

I cooed at her, taking the tip of my pen an dipping it along her fleshy little slit as a gasp left her throat. My eyes flicked towards the monitor and I smiled, applying the pads gently to her bare chest.

“You should relax hm? From what I can tell thus far you have a very pretty labia. So puffy and fleshy. This gives me a lot to play with.”

I chuckled softly but darkly as I allowed my bare finger access between her juicy folds. Her eyes fluttered closed to the sensation, hips jerking slightly each time the pad of my fingertip would roll over the tiny gem hidden beneath. She was soaked and warm oh god it was a warmth I can’t describe.

“Someone’s eager.”

I teased her as I lifted my finger up between our faces, rubbing the sticky juices between my thumb and finger then allowing it to string apart as I’d separate the two. I hum in approval to this just before lifting myself from her and turning to my refrigerator. I opened the icebox retrieving a few large cubes before returning to her. My fingertips landed again upon her thick folds, spreading them generously as I began allowing the ice cube to drip along the heated flesh. Her body jerked, throat panting to the sensation as I made mental note. After she had adjusted to the temperature of the melting ice I applied pressure, dipping the cube in and out of her molten core slowly as the cube began to melt. My eyes constantly shifted from her face to the monitor then back to the beautiful pussy now turning a reddish color from the freeze of the ice. I took a fresh cube, gently pulling back on her mound to reveal the tiny bead hidden inside. I suckled the cube to wet it first before lowering it to her little clit and began to circle slowly. Her back rose from the table, legs trying desperately to spread wider but unable as her ankles were still securely strapped to the tables edges. Her chest heaved up and down as pants began to burst from her and her heart rate increased extensively.

I removed the ice just before the climax got out of hand, grabbing my clipboard and jotting down notes on what I had just experienced. I looked down at her pussy still swollen from over stimulation, clit still perked and emerged from its bedding. I rolled my thumb across it softly as shuddered whimpers began to leave her throat.

“It’s the ice. It will make you more sensitive my dear.”

I allow my fingers to gently roll along her folds to help sooth her just as I’m beginning to reach for a vibrator. I set the egg shaped toy on minimum speed to start, gently circling the tight ring of her little opening. Her hips roll to this, soft eager whimpers humming from her nostrils gently telling me that she wants more. I slowly sink the egg down inside until it’s completely swallowed by her pussy, leaving it there briefly before slowly pulling it back out. My eyes are fixed upon her tight little cunt now, studying every crease and crevice, how it moves and stretches. Damn the monitors, this… this was far more mesmerizing. I set the vibrating egg to the side for a moment, seizing this opportunity to get to know this particular part of the female anatomy. I released the straps around her wrists and ankles.

“Is this a part of the experiment?”

She asks this knowing damn well what the answer is. I don’t answer her but grip her thighs gently and scoot her rear down to the end of the examination table. My hands slipped to her knees, parting them to a comfortable spread as I knelt down to examine her up close and personal.

“Let’s have a look shall we?”

I’m cooing still, fingers gently stroking her swollen wet lips, spreading them gently then rolling them down with a circular motion that had her squealing. Yes after all those years of being made fun of by my brothers for watching womens soft core porn, it certainly was paying off. And what had started out as an experiment was quickly turning into an affair. Her hips kept rolling, one of my digits easily slipping into her tight cavity curled as I shook it back and fourth frantically causing her neck to crane back in a ear piercing moan. I was never once nervous but having the time of my life, watching this woman nearly reach her brink but then deny her every single time. To have that power. To know she wanted me to have that power. The head of my cock was peeking through the top of my waist band.

I withdrew my finger from her, eyes flicking towards the monitors one last time when something happened I did not anticipate.

“Please…. Doctor. Don’t leave me like this.”

I turn to her, my hand slipping to my erect penis unapologetically as I gave it a much needed squeeze.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is…. Will you fuck me?”

Those four words will you fuck me ran through my mind I don’t know how many times before it finally registered in my brain. I stood there speechless for only a moment or two then I was on her, lips landing onto hers as I shrugged off my suspenders and let my trousers fall to the floor. I laid her back against the cot, gliding my length through her closed thighs before allowing her legs to fall freely and leaning forward, lips searching for hers once more. I lined myself up with her tight opening and slowly slid myself in. Churring deeply to the sensation but also keeping a close eye on her heart rate. My hand flattened against her knees spreading her as far apart as she could as I bottom myself out. Somehow she has taken every inch of me. I can feel my cock curving against her body for it to fit. I chuckle darkly to this, churring deeply as I begin to pull back and the slowly thrust forward once more only this time not as deep but with a roll of my hips.

A deep moaned ripped from her throat. I could feel her arms and legs wrapping around my body snuggly. It’s a warm, close feeling and I’m looking her dead in her eyes as I’m fucking her, studying her facial expressions each time I reach another uncharted destination from within her womb. I began to snap my hips wildly, sitting myself up so I could watch my cock bury itself again and again and also to play with her engorged little clit. This time I would allow her to orgasm. Thumb and finger rolling and milking her firmed clitoris while my steeled cock drilled deeply into her sent her over the edge of all sanity and I got to watch all of her juices gushing around my cock as her body came unraveled.

Did I come, of fucking course I did. That’s the boring part. I never did see this particular woman again. Never knew her real name either. But she was only meant to be an experiment and she wanted me to do orgasm denial. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be losing my virginity to a human female all in one night. It was and every time I have sex it still is one of the best feelings there is on the face of this planet.

Michelangelo

Mines gonna be short cause I’m not very good at telling the things and Mun already kinda told my story for me but…. My first time was with my girlfriend Lucy. She had come over to get her ass whooped in some COD and ended up getting her actual ass spanked. Well… it didn’t go down that smoothly. Here’s what happened.

My baby cakes had straddled my lap and I’m always at my weakest when she does this. She was asking me all these questions about what I’d do to her sexually and well, I started talking smack. She ended up with nothing on but some orange lingerie, telling me to prove it. I swear dude I’ve never been so scared in all my life. I literally wanted to just go straight caveman on this woman and fuck the hell out of her, but I just kept drawing blanks. That’s when it hit me, just use my animal instinct and even she suggested to do what came naturally.

First thing on my virginity agenda was… I was going to taste that sweet little pussy. When I spread her legs open it was like I was introduced to a whole new world to explore. Her world. A world she only shares with me. So, I explored. She tasted so tart and sweet at the same time, it left my mouth dry and watering for more. And her folds were so pretty. I was tugging on them, sucking and playing with them, all while watching her glistening juices trickle from that tiny little hole of hers. God it was the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.

If it weren’t for the throb in my cock dude, I’d have stayed eating that pussy for hours. But I had a little point to prove so I bent her sweet peach shaped ass over the arm of the couch. Her swollen pussy lips were puckering out from beneath those booty cheeks looking like a whole snack bruh. I had to slip my cock into her heat. It was like calling for me, whispering to me. Actually she was begging for me to fuck her but for me it was a whisper. I gladly obliged. Oh god she was so tight it made me churr and I began bellowing because fuck if any of my brothers were getting in on my girl. I wasn’t having it. Still, her swollen lips wrapped around my cock so well, it felt like I belonged inside her. Like we were meant to be…. Two bodies as one.

Okay that moment was brief because all I wanted to do was thrust and I did… HARD. I began beating her pussy up like it was cake mix, my hand slapping her ass and I’m not gonna lie I almost busted each time I got to watch those ass cheeks giggle. And her moans holy god I could listen to a mix tape of her moaning my name and screaming the things she did. It was pure bliss man. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. And honestly I was super nervous. Like about my size, what she’d think about what I looked like and all that stuff but at the end of the day, my girl wanted me. And that gave me enough courage to just go with the flow you know? And that’s all that matters.

MORE ABOUT MIKEYS FIRST TIME HERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt michelangelo #bayverse #tmnt 2016 #answered asks

[taegularities]

definition of love | kth (m)

Summary: “Burn yourself into my memory until I can’t escape you.”

When the gorgeous student from your literature class starts showing interest in you, you discover that there's much more to him than his know-it-all facade. But is this realization enough to get through your insecurities and secrets?

pairing: Taehyung x female reader

rating: 18+

genre: college!au, romance, e2f2l, angst, a lot of fluff, smut

warnings: past minor character death, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms, kissing/making out, explicit sexual content, oral sex (f. & m. receiving), vaginal fingering, kinda handjob, breast play, unprotected sex (the reader is on the pill - use protection, people), vaginal sex, sexual tension, ass grabbing, lots of flirting, pining, light swearing, taehyung is a book nerd!!

word count: 10.5k

a/n: HELLO! this fic is part of the “Golden Gift Event” (hosted by @btsgoldnetwork​) - and is a gift for my lovely valentine @sunkissedjk​​! HAPPY LOVE DAY! you were so sweet all the time we “talked” and i’m kinda happy you gave me so much freedom :’D and i hope you like the end product! also, a huge thank you to my awesome beta readers @taetaesbaebaepsae​​, @unoriginal-username15432​​ & @voiceswithoutlips​​ (who also made this BEAUTIFUL banner for me, i loooove you!!!) - oh and: i listened to “Sea” on repeat while writing this - spot the reference ;) - OKAY, THEN LET’S DIVE IN!

MASTERLIST | WIPS

You wondered where all your impressive motivation that you’d harboured had suddenly vanished, leaving nothing in its wake but the lingering feelings of sorrow.

It felt like a pressing eternity since you’d been able to focus on one thing for longer than two endless minutes. All you were yearning for was your warm bed, for hiding yourself under your comforting sheets, your shelter that felt miles away as you sat on your seat.

You were looking out the window, zoned out as always, as you gazed into the grey sky, the approaching rain clearly evident in the way the world growled outside. Last night had tired you; after a recurring fight between your mother and you, you had decided to grab the still full box of chocolate ice cream that you’d bought a day before and withdraw to your room. It was exhausting. You always visited for one weekend a month and each time made you regret it, not long after your arrival.

Now you were feeling the toll that the sleepless nights were taking on you and you asked yourself if the following night would be easier, calmer; you wished nothing more than to fall asleep to the soothing sound of the rain, hoping that it would serve as the perfect lullaby like it always did.

“Miss Y/L/N, what are your thoughts on these arguments?” The sharp voice of your literature teacher pulled you out of your daydreams, and you turned your tired eyes to her as she pushed her glasses up her little, cute button nose.

You vaguely remembered her talking about the aspects of the relationship between Pip and Estella and how many readers didn’t interpret their love as actual love, but more as sexual tension that builds up to a point where they are ultimately forced to fall for each other.

“I don’t think I agree. Pip was already infatuated with her when they were kids. So unless they were attracted to each other in that way as children, which I strongly doubt, I’d still say it was pure love,” you finally said, trying to somehow talk around the topic until she was satisfied. She always was, though. You may have zoned out a million times, but you read so much in your free time that it’d given you the title of one of her best students by now.

“Ah, that’s good, I like that! So, basically, what you are saying is- oh, yes, Mister Kim?”

You lazily looked over to the mentioned man. Taehyung was the epitome of a perfect person. On the surface, he had everything that seemed sufficient enough to let him meet your parents. He was incredibly witty, top of his classes - which was probably the most prominent reason why he was so popular on campus - and had the looks of a god.

It didn’t seem to faze you, though. Not that you didn’t see his eye-catching and unexplainable beauty; not that you didn’t get jealous over his brain and the way he wrapped all the teachers around his finger. But something about him edged you - it might’ve been his attitude of strolling around the building as if he knew he owned it. Or maybe it was about your arguments that you had in this class particularly, although you hadn’t shared too many yet.

But each time you talked about literature, the class could be sure to hear some counter-arguments from the oh-so-glorious and super smart Kim Taehyung. You also hadn’t failed to notice that it was mostly you who he’d rile up (on purpose?) each time. There was almost no escape from him when you spoke up and, even now, you rolled your eyes.

“I just wanted to remark that it might be true that Pip loved her wholeheartedly, but what is it really that Estella felt for him? I don’t necessarily think it was love, or any kind of real affectionate feeling, for that matter,” he said, his gaze boring holes into you, not leaving you once.

You put your arm over your chair as you scoffed at him. “So, you’re saying... Dickens wrote a whole romantic novel about love, only for his readers to think all of it was one-sided?”

“Who knows about his real intentions while he was writing it? Literature can be interpreted in various ways - and my interpretation is that she clearly didn’t possess the same intense ability to feel passion as Pip did.”

You saw your teacher, along with some of your classmates, nod, growing ashamed in your seat as you felt your sense of logic begin to falter at his words. He could see that you were getting nervous, unsure about what to say, but his merciless and confident glance didn’t break, didn’t give you the chance to collect yourself.

“Well, you are right in that. Literature can indeed be perceived in various ways, so I can’t say that either of you are particularly wrong. Though, I might admit that Estella’s behaviour towards Pip was questionable at times - especially at the end of the novel. But I don’t want to ruin the book for those who still have to or want to read the ending.” Miss Park’s tone grew relaxed with each word, indicating that the lesson was finally coming to its end. You were already stuffing your books into your back bag as she said her last words and told you she’d sent out an email with the instructions for the next assignment.

Soon after, you felt a figure approach - and when you lifted your head, you were surprised to see that it was Taehyung, standing tall above you as he cleared his throat. “Your perspective to that was interesting.”

Sighing, you stood, putting your bag over your shoulder as you smiled softly. “Was it now?”

“Definitely. Aren’t such discussions there to get to know other points of views, too?”

He was probably right, but you didn’t quite feel like talking to him about this right now; just… something about his tone and expression felt off, and it made his words seem empty - as if he knew he was right. It was as if the things he said were not as genuine as he wanted them to come across.

And when you didn’t answer, he started chewing on his lower lip, wondering if he had said something you hadn’t wanted to hear. “Do you want to grab some tea?”

At his surprising offer your eyes widened a little, and you fumbled with the strap of your bag, only hesitating for a split second before you answered, “I don’t really drink tea that much. And I have some things to do today before my roommate gets back, so…”

You walked past him, making your way to the door before you felt him catch up to you within moments. He tapped your shoulder lightly, in an effort to somehow draw an explanation out of you as to why you were constantly so irritated by him. It wasn’t as if he had never noticed - he knew exactly how much you didn’t want to interact with him, and that was exactly why he wanted to get to know you even more.

Apparently, it was true that human beings always want the one thing they can’t possibly have, forced to push themselves to a limit that ultimately means their doom, if they don’t reach the goals that seem to be so far away anyway.

And right now, he felt like you were miles away, although only a hand’s difference separated the two of you. After all the times that girls had asked him out, shyly inviting him to dinner or arcades with the hungry expression that he had deciphered right away, you were still reluctant to even look at him out of your own will.

It bothered him. He wanted you to notice him. Months had passed now since you had first met in this class, yet you didn’t seem to care about initiating a conversation with him at all.

Why not?

“Y/N,” his deep guttural voice started, his eyes trying to decode your stern and tired expression intently, “do you remember the trip that’s planned for the end of next week?”

You didn’t. In all honesty, you had completely forgotten about the trip to that one historical sight, and you couldn’t even entirely recall why you were travelling all the way there. You thought you remembered the teacher telling you that she’d once written a book about star-crossed lovers from opposing social ranks who lived in a small castle.

Now that you thought about it, pieces of her explanation started coming back to you and you wondered why you had never read the story although it did sound intriguing somehow. According to your professor, the girl was a poor servant of the boy, a prince who’d fall in love with her as the story progressed - but as unfortunate circumstances separated both of them, they united after death, at a time when the castle had long been destroyed and the forest around it had withered.

As enthusiastic as she was, she was eager to show her students where she had gotten the inspiration from, claiming that she had played on the place’s grounds when she’d been little. It wasn’t even a historical sight per se, but more a destroyed building that had stood there a long, long time ago and that no one particularly cared about now.

You had completely forgotten about that. Nevertheless, you nodded. “Ah, yeah. What about that?”

“I was thinking - as I found our argument somewhat interesting… what if we both read professor Park’s book and talked about our perspectives to the couple’s love when we’re done? Like, on the day of the trip or something,” he suggested, almost running into an open door.

You chuckled a little before you contained yourself again. Not that you had much free time to indulge in a book, but you wouldn’t let Taehyung win yet again; there was a deep and urgent need in you to finally wipe this arrogant smirk off his face and if that wasn’t the perfect opportunity, then what was?

“Sure,” you answered; and the next thing you saw was his face lighting up, his mouth twitching until it finally turned upwards to form a boxy grin. “I’ll read it.”

He licked his lips before he clapped his hands once. “Perfect. So, when you’re done, just tell me!” And before you could counter with anything, he patted you on your back and left your side, his hands in the pockets of his pants as you watched him walk away.

Since you had made this spontaneous deal with Taehyung, it seemed as if he was everywhere you set foot to. He walked past your classes while you waited for them to start or coincidentally sat only one or two tables away on a campus as large as yours, starting a conversation in one way or another each time, without an exception.

“Have you read it yet?”

“How much have you read already?”

“Should I give you a spoiler?”

“Will you go out with me? - For tea, I mean…”

The worst part was that you somehow seemed to enjoy it. You didn’t know him that well, and you were sure he would be able to get on your nerves easily if you just let him close enough. But the way he’d always smile at you and ask for your opinion on specific things was sometimes, somehow, endearing - maybe it was the fact that he actually cared about your mind and what went through it that had you hooked.

And when you saw him walk towards you as you settled in your seat in the travelling bus, you turned your gaze to the dirty window quickly, suppressing a smile as you acted oblivious to the fact that he had sat down right next to you.

“Morning,” he said, his voice unusually close. You turned to face him and saw him winking at you in the most flirty way you had seen a college student do. You greeted him with a quick nod and smile, not even bothering to ask why he wasn’t sitting with his usual friends.

“So, I’m assuming you’ve finished the book?” he finally asked, stretching his legs under the seat in front of him.

You told him yes, you had, two days ago in fact, and that you had liked the whole story as it was, except the ending which had surprisingly thrown you off guard a little - to which his eyebrows furrowed. Just as you had expected.

“What, you don’t like the aspect of them reuniting as ghosts and living - or dying? - the rest of their existence at that place?” he inquired, apparently not realising why all of this sounded so ridiculous - at least to you.

You sighed. “It’s not necessarily that. I didn’t like that they have to roam the Earth - like, not even the planet, but that one specific place, for the rest of their being. Even if you loved someone this much, would you want to spend an eternity with each other at one spot, no one else to talk to, no children, no nothing?”

“I get your point. But didn’t the girl wait for him all these years to finally be with him after he dies? Didn’t she stay in the afterlife to meet him again, because that’s what her soul demanded of her? I gathered that she would’ve found peace immediately, if she hadn’t longed for him.”

And as always, Taehyung left you speechless. You tried hard to think of a witty remark, but came up blank. After a while, you opted to drift away from the competition between you two, and instead, focus on agreeing with him, expanding his hypothesis further. “Yeah, maybe you could assume that they found their peace and satisfaction right after meeting. We don’t know what happens after the book ends.”

He looked taken aback for some reason. Instead of nodding, as one would expect when someone supported their thoughts, he licked his lips again, apparently a fixed habit of his as you had gotten to know over the past few days. “... You’re right. Might as well ask Miss Park about it.”

You smiled at him, assuming that the topic had now ended, but it seemed to occupy his mind more than you’d thought. “Novels about love are so often so complex, don’t you think? All the interpretations that authors leave open are… fascinating.”

“That’s an important quality of an author - be ambiguous, but not too much. Having freedom to analyze the story is something a lot of readers appreciate.”

Taehyung shifted in his seat a little, so he could face you properly. He fumbled with his fingers, seemingly a nervous tick he had when he started to bloom, enthusiastic about a topic that he was interested in; it was so endearing to look at, and you felt your heart skip a beat. “I just don’t understand why we need sadness so much to be able to theorize about these things. Why can’t we readers hope for a happy ending without witnessing the characters go through such tough times?”

You hadn’t noticed that exactly, as you’d always found space to come up with theories even in happy stories. But still, you understood what he meant. “Where there is hope, there is always hardship. The balance of the world.”

This time, it was him who didn’t know what to answer. Less because he felt beaten by you, but more because your words went straight to his heart. It felt like a motto to live by; he could almost see in your eyes that you weren’t scared of the hardships that you encountered in life, that you dived into them without fearing the pain that might appear.

His literature-student-brain was smoking as he looked at you, analyzing you like he did it with his beloved books. Knowing that you had strengths he didn’t know about yet, he felt more and more drawn to you, the urge to get to know you growing stronger.

He wanted to be able to read your soul that glowed more imminent and brighter to him with each word you stuttered.

The sun was blazing and shining onto you relentlessly. You’d known how worn-down the whole place would be, but you hadn’t figured that everything would be roofless, the castle shattered to its grounds. How was it even possible to destroy a whole complex like this to its complete indecipherability?

After walking for a while in the growing noon heat, you soon noticed that Taehyung hadn’t left your side for some time now. It would’ve almost been creepy, if you had felt uncomfortable at all; in fact, that he stuck to you like glue, somehow made you feel giddy, nervous, stomach churning until you couldn’t hide the smile anymore.

“Is there anything you want to say to me?”

He shook his head, pointed a finger to your teacher instead. “Listen to what she has to say. She’s the lecturer, not me.”

Your lecturer wasn’t even talking about significant historical facts. You remembered that this day wasn’t even in any way important for your final exams and that professor Park had dragged you here for the sole purpose of promoting the book you had already bought and read.

And at some point, as you found yourself distracted by your own disruptive thoughts, mind wandering to your mother and how she had been doing this morning when you’d called her, you felt someone tug at your arm. But you didn’t need to guess twice to know who it was.

Taehyung dragged you away from the crowd that was your class, putting a finger to his lips to shush you. That was weird. It was definitely weird, right? “What do you think you’re doing, Taehyung?” you almost whispered as your eyes moved frantically, looking into the direction you were walking to somehow find out where he was intending to go.

“Just want to show you something that fits Miss Park’s book perfectly,” he said, not bothering to lower the tone of his voice at all. You disappeared behind a wall, now out of your classmates’ eyes who had long moved forwards, exploring the sight that wasn’t one at all.

It took you two minutes of gazing at broken walls, modern graffiti and inscripted promises by various wanderers to get to a spot where Taehyung finally halted his movements, head moving around as if he was looking for something. You were finally under a roof that shielded you from the heat and you leaned against the cold wall to breathe in deeply.

When Taehyung’s eyes finally settled on what he was seeking, he walked towards it without hesitation. He stretched out his arm to touch what was written there, not visible for you where you were standing. You saw a smile creep up his face as he ran his fingers along the bricks, relishing in whatever feeling was taking over his heart right now.

You were about to ask when he eventually spoke up. “It says ‘No matter who or what tries to keep us apart, I will always find you - even in death.’ Sounds exactly like the story about the lovers, doesn’t it?”

Pushing yourself off the wall, you stepped closer, inspecting the sentence yourself before you smiled. “Seems as if Miss Park has some fans.”

“Do you think these people read her book?”

“Definitely. I feel like this abandoned place can otherwise only be found, if someone lives nearby and stumbles across it, like Miss Park did. And she mentioned this exact castle - or what’s left of it - in her author’s note.”

He inhaled and exhaled deeply before he looked at you. “I believe that people like these define love. Believing in each other so much that they fight for their love, even after they’re gone.”

“I’m not sure if wanting to love someone even in death is the only indicator for true love… or the definition of it.” You raised your hand, too, touched the inscription exactly where Taehyung’s hand had been a moment ago.

He raised an eyebrow at you, licking his lips again. “Yeah? Well, what is then?”

You laughed at his question. You weren’t sure; you hadn’t experienced love in its truest form yet and couldn’t quite express what it meant or could mean to you. The only type of affection you’d ever felt was that from your parents, but after your father’s death, even that had vanished.

“I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I find out.”

“You’ve never loved anyone before?” he asked, a surprised look taking over his beautiful face.

“Not in that sense, no… I think,” you muttered, lost in the words that were written on the bricks. The sentence Taehyung had read to you wasn’t the only one here. There were several things you could spot and most of them seemed to relate to each other.

We’re tragic, but not doomed.

Burn yourself into my memory until I can’t escape you.

These were only some of various confessions that made your heart flutter. Despite the fact that you didn’t exactly have an idea of how to define love, you could feel that the passion this couple - or these couples - had shared, or still shared, was intense, deep, fierce. Somehow, you felt the energy seeping through the ink as you touched it gently, careful not to smear it - then again, you figured it had dried enough to stay here for a while.

By now, Taehyung had walked up and stopped next to you; as his arm grazed yours, your breath hitched slightly, and you widened your eyes at your own reaction. This proximity shouldn’t have made you this nervous, right? It was Taehyung. Taehyung from your literature class, the college genius and arrogant smartass who-

“I shouldn’t write these words down. They will never do you justice,” he read aloud, now directly behind you, and you felt his warm breath against your face. And as your heart threatened to burst any second, you suddenly stepped away, away from the lovers’ words, away from the wall, away from him.

You didn’t get very far; before you could put a safe distance between him and yourself, he grabbed your wrist, yanking you back to him. You gasped at his ministrations, suddenly hyper aware of how alone you both were right now. He was leaning against the wall now, not letting his grip on you loose as he stared into the deepest depths of your eyes.

“Breathe, Y/N,” he said before a grin decorated his face. You hadn’t realized you were even holding your breath, and exhaled deeply. “What if I told you that I finished this book weeks ago?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Whatever you’d thought he would tell you or do to you, it wasn’t this - this was a tad more disappointing. “You did?”

He nodded as he brought your hand to his chest, pulling you in just a little, but too much for your racing heart. “I love talking to you about these things,” he admitted, suddenly bringing his lips closer to your ear as he whispered his next words, “and frankly, all our other classmates are idiots.”

You chuckled nervously. “And I’m not?”

“You? No way,” he said, looking at your profile, “breathe.”

He pulled back again and released your hand, making you automatically take a few steps back nervously - but to no avail. Soon, he had you in his grip again, twirling you around to press you into the wall with a gentle, soft force. His thumb came up to ghost over your jaw, and his touch caused a strange pressure in your stomach that had you on the brink of losing your mind. This should’ve all been weird - why did you like it so much?

“Taehyung…”

“Hmm?” he hummed, not removing his eyes from your mouth as his fingers wandered to your lower lip.

“What are you doing?” Your breathing was uneven, and you struggled to focus - he noticed that, trying his hardest not to break out into a proud smirk.

He had found you interesting for so long now, had wanted to get close to you, pined over you for months, and now that he was touching you, he knew he had waited for this since he had heard you speak in class for the first time. Unlike some of his friends, who’d praised your physical features on multiple occasions, he was first and foremost impressed by your mind.

There was no doubt that you were beautiful; but he felt attracted to your brain, your attitude, your personality, the whole of you.

“Tell me to stop.”

“What?” you asked, unable to think, trying your hardest to not sink to your knees.

“This,” he murmured as he came a little closer, the other hand that was not on your face, settling on your bare arm, “tell me to stop.”

You tried - but you couldn’t. You didn’t want to. No words could be uttered, no words escaped you; not even the plea to finally kiss you, and you felt like he knew all of this. In his deep, dark, sparkling and hooded eyes you could clearly see that he knew what he was doing.

“You can’t.” It was a statement - not a question. You didn’t answer. “Then go out with me.”

His words hit you unexpectedly, a warm and dizzying feeling building up in your chest, and you tried so hard not to falter. To not give in. To not have him deal with your struggles and your life.

But you did. You did falter.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” you repeated, nodding slightly as his eyes shot up to meet yours.

Then, suddenly, embarrassingly, he let go, walking a few steps back to eye your flabbergasted state. “Okay. Great. Now, let’s go back to the group before they report us as missing.”

You took a strand of your hair between your fingers, currently unable to look at him directly. “How did you find this specific spot, anyway?”

“Was roaming the place a little in our break and figured you’d like it.”

As you walked back to your classmates, soon finding them and realizing that literally no one had missed you, you chuckled slightly at the fact that yes - you had liked it. All of it.

And it made you nervous.

Albeit his invitation to go out with him, he didn’t mention the upcoming date for the whole of the following week and you grew more and more tense with each time you saw him pass by you or approach you to talk about something random. It was almost as if he tried to put you on edge, having your stomach turn and churn every time he talked to you about anything but the date.

There were some conversations about other books you both liked - or disliked - and hobbies that you hadn’t known the other was talented in. Apparently, Taehyung was into photography; not much of a surprise, given the fact that he had the word cultivated written clearly on his forehead. He told you that he liked to take pictures of landscapes and cities, but beside that, he also loved capturing random moments with his friends and loved ones.

“I can schedule a photoshoot with you sometime, if you want,” he offered, having you all flustered, because you’d never been someone who enjoyed her pictures being taken much.

“I’m not sure. I’m not good at poses,” you answered as you took a bite of your dry sandwich.

He shook his head, clearly not impressed by your lame argument. “That’s what I’m here for. I’d tell you what to do and you’d just have to look good, that’s all. And that you do everyday.”

Your skin tingled at his comments, and you noticed how much of a routine these remarks had become. He’d compliment you whenever he could, while you struggled to find out if he was flirting or just simply being nice to you. But then again, he had asked you out - and despite that, you still hadn’t forgotten the short, intense moment that had occured at the ruins days ago.

In fact, you often stared at your ceiling at night, unable to fall asleep, much to your chagrin. A lot of times when you closed your eyes, you dreamed of back then and of what more could’ve happened, always waking up when he’d finally press his full, beautiful lips on yours. In your dreams, he tasted sweet, intoxicating, like spring and hope.

But in reality, you hadn’t even settled for a day to meet up to do whatever he wanted to do. At least until now, until he turned to you. 

“You agreed to go out with me,” he simply declared, his voice deep and almost nonchalant, as if he was just casually mentioning some side fact; it wasn’t like you’d been waiting for this all week as you hung out with him everyday.

“Yeah. I suppose I did.”

“So, I waited before telling you this - but an amusement park is opening up tonight and I’d like to take you there. If you like things like these, I mean.”

“Tonight, you say? Sure.” You gave him a beautiful smile before you looked down to your lunch again, trying not to show how the heat was creeping up your face, how flustered you’d gotten - but he could tell.

He could always tell.

The crowd was insane - you were surprised that you hadn’t known about the opening of this amusement park until Taehyung had mentioned it, as there were so many guests that you hardly found a spot to stand. It was difficult to even get a ticket to a ride, and as you stood in the various lines, you talked about how loud it was here, both agreeing that, were the activities not as much fun as they were, you would’ve probably gone to grab some dinner in a random restaurant nearby.

One hour later and you found yourself sitting on a bench; he was patting your back to calm you down after your idiotic ass had decided to eat a hot dog right before the most dangerous of all rides that turned and swirled and made, as it’d felt, a hundred loops.

“I told you not to eat until we’re done, Y/N,” Taehyung said, laughing as he watched your pale face, you leaning back, eyes closed in misery. He stood, tugging at your hand and you looked up at him. “I’ll bring you home.”

“No, I-” you started, but you were quickly interrupted when you felt your phone vibrate between your palms. As you looked at the name, you almost didn’t pick up, rolling your eyes before stuffing the phone into your bag again; only to rethink your choice for a moment, apologizing to Taehyung and taking it out again to answer.

“Hi, Mom.” You stood up to walk away from Taehyung a bit - if this was going to turn into some kind of messy drama, you didn’t want him to be in a proximity close enough to witness your whole conversation. “What’s up? How are you?”

She didn’t answer for a second, and you wondered if she was even still there before she cleared her throat dramatically. Her voice was hoarse, used, tired, drowning in the drunken state that she was obviously in. “Y/N.”

“Mom. What’s wrong?”

“I need something from you,” she said, and your heart started to thump against your chest as you awaited her request, fearing that she was falling ill again.

“I used up all my reservoir of the alcohol I had. Please, I can barely move without the world spinning. Can you come here and bring me some more? I need to just - pass out for today.”

You swallowed hard, not believing that she would call you just to ask if you could poison her with some more of her drug; to ask you to drive for one hour and a half, just to throw you out again after potential harsh words.

“No,” you answered firmly - you wouldn’t give in to her bullshit, not this time.

“What do you mean by no, you brat?” She was getting angry; you could hear it in the way her words became blurred, almost indecipherable, but you didn’t care.

“I won’t fucking bring you your goddamn alcohol. Go to bed and sleep, drink some water and calm yourself down!” you almost yelled, growing impatient, too, your heart racing in your chest as your blood pressure heightened.

You heard her gasp sharply before she stuttered until she could finally form a coherent sentence. “You fucking bitch. I didn’t raise you to talk back like that!”

You looked over your shoulder. Taehyung raised his head, smiling at you before he saw the concern in your face and putting his phone back into his pockets as he stood up to walk up to you. Meanwhile, your mother was still uttering obscene insults at you, words that you should’ve been used to by now. But it was different in this moment.

This evening had passed with so much laughter and giggles, excessive amounts of adrenaline and growing feelings - you couldn’t understand what you’d done to deserve this; why it was so hard for her to just let you live for once.

When a wet drop landed on your bare collarbone, you realized that you had started crying, the goddamn tears streaming down your face, although you had tried to contain yourself so hard. You felt Taehyung’s hand on your back, patting it again, but differently this time than a few minutes ago. You inhaled a deep breath as you spoke into your phone, interrupting your raging mother who just wouldn’t stop.

“I can’t talk right now, Mom. I’m busy.”

“Wha- are you crying now? What the fuck are you crying for, you-”

You hung up. That was honestly all you could and would take, and you’d heard enough. You dried your tears quickly, getting yourself together as you cleared your throat and looked at Taehyung’s worried and silent face. You gave him a reassuring smile before you said, “you’re right. I should probably head home.”

He just nodded, putting a comforting arm softly around your shoulders as he walked beside you. Approaching your home, you were tempted to tell him to just go home, that he didn’t need to accompany you all the way - but something told you that he wouldn’t listen to you anyway. And as minutes passed, your mind shifted back to your mother.

You were wondering if she was okay. Being this drunk was dangerous, especially for someone like her who drowned her sorrows and pain in that deadly liquid almost every night, not knowing how else to cope with your father’s death - even after all the years that had passed.

But you couldn’t leave her alone; you couldn’t drive all the way over to her either. You didn’t have the time.

You took out your phone again, sniffing as you hastily scrolled down to find the number of one of your highschool friends. You knew she still lived near your house and could help you out. It didn’t need a lot of long-stretched words; you pleaded with her to stay the night and take care of your mother - she knew she was always welcome at your house, and unlike yourself, she would never hear a single bad word uttered out of your mother’s mouth that was targeted at her.

Taehyung was still holding you without saying anything. He didn’t know what. Ask you what was wrong? He could, but if you’d wanted to, then you would’ve spoken up already, right? No - he could cheer you up. Or at least try to.

“Do you want me to come up with you? We could watch something, or just talk,” he suggested, his voice hesitant and his words careful.

Swimming in your misery, you had almost forgotten what joy he had brought you today. Almost forgotten how genuine his touch on your shoulder, his expression of concern was. And as you found yourself overwhelmed with hate yet affection for your mother, something in you snapped enough to admit that Taehyung was all you wanted with you at this moment.

“You can. I mean, I - you don’t have to, I’d be fine, but… if you want to, you can.”

He grinned at you - that one boxy grin that always reached his dreamy eyes, brightening up the darkest of nights. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to.”

He let you go, brushed his fingers through his dark, soft hair as you entered your dorm room. You figured it was late enough for your early bird of a roommate to have fallen asleep, so you tried not to be too loud as you came in, bringing Taehyung a glass of water, and then - surprisingly brave of you - deciding to settle in your room to have your privacy, without risking to wake up your friend in the next room.

You both settled on your bed, crawling under your thin blanket, despite the pressing heat. You had put a pizza in the oven that you were chewing on now, watching a Disney movie on your laptop that laid on your lap while Taehyung contemplated whether it was okay to pull you close to him or not. It had been so easy a week ago; brushing the skin of your face with his fingers and muttering tempting words to you felt difficult now, although there was nothing more that he wanted than to enclose you in his embrace, be your shelter in a moment like this.

Despite his usual confidence, you couldn’t understand what was holding him back now. Although you hadn’t known each other properly until two weeks ago, he felt like an intimate person in your life, consuming more and more of your thoughts as the days went by and having you look forward to the next day when you could, again, spend lunch time with him and talk to him about the most random aspects of the universe and beyond.

And when nothing happened for the next thirty minutes, you shifted, getting closer to him as you put your head on his shoulder. You didn’t see the smile appear widely on his ethereal face. Didn’t hear the way his heart hammered against his ribs violently until the sound consumed his ears. You didn’t know about the effect you had on him.

His arm snaked around your shoulders and his fingers gently settled on your bare arm. When he noticed that you didn’t protest, he dug his nails deeper into your flesh, making you breathe out sharply as he pulled you closer to him. You felt his lips ghosting over your hair, and yourself dozing off slightly.

At some point you just sat there, watching, but not watching the movie, the pictures becoming blurred motions in front of your eyes. His fingers had found your arm, stroking it until you felt relaxed enough to close your eyes and calm your breath that had somehow fastened; on one hand stressed because of the thought that revolved around your mother, and on the other hand growing nervous as you inhaled the soft cinnamon scent of the man who was holding you gently, carefully.

When you woke up - apparently you had eventually fallen asleep - your head was resting on his chest; he was still here, still beside you. He had placed your laptop on the night table and pulled the blanket over both of you, holding you tightly, making sure you didn’t fall apart - not tonight.

You shifted a little, carefully sitting up and noticing that you were still wearing your dress. As you fumbled with the hem of it to pull it down a bit, you heard him groan softly, and as you looked down at him, he had opened his eyes and was rubbing them with the back of his hand.

“Hey, are you okay?” He sat up instantly, looking at your tired face while your hands tried to smoothen your hair until you reckoned you didn’t look like a scarecrow anymore.

“I am,” you answered, putting the strap of your dress back onto your shoulder, “why didn’t you go home? Sleeping in jeans must be terrible.”

He shrugged, putting a strand of hair out of your face as he yawned into his other hand. “I didn’t want to leave you alone like this.”

You nodded, smiling at him gratefully. That’s what you’d thought. It was incredible that he was fond of you enough to stay the night, to look out for you, to make sure you didn’t slip again, didn’t cry all night. You didn’t know if it was your exhaustion or affection towards him, but the next words came out easily.

“Can we do that again?”

You didn’t have to spell it out; he knew. He knew and consequently opened his arms for you to settle into him again, pulling you both down, heads falling onto the big pillow as you pressed your torso against his chest.

Although you were fairly tired, you felt like you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anymore. Not now that you knew he was this close, his heart against yours, his opal eyes sunk in yours; there was no way you’d miss even a moment of him staring at you like this.

“Are you really okay?” he asked, his breath warm against your face as his hand grazed your back. “You got me worried today.”

You swallowed before you answered, hesitant at first, “I think I’m fine. Just concerned. Mom has this drinking habit, and I’ve tried to deal with her, but I’m just… tired.”

He nodded in affirmation as if he knew exactly what your mother was going through. “Maybe you need to sit down with her when she’s sober and talk through it all.”

“She’s never sober.” You briefly closed your eyes when he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, grazing over your cheeks slightly before he brought his hand to the nape of your neck.

“One day she will be. She’s your mother, and she loves you. There will definitely come a time when she’ll be willing to talk. Just ask her.” He was whispering by now, and you had a hard time to even comprehend what he was saying, your mind way too focused on his scent, on his eyes, on his subtle touches.

“...Yeah,” you said, eyes wandering down his nose and cheeks until they settled on his beautiful, parted lips.

“Y/N?” he murmured, his fingers still caressing the skin on your neck as he pulled you in closer, just a little, almost not noticeable.

“Taehyung?”

“I just want you to know… that I’m here. Anytime.”

Anytime. Your breath became unsteady, everything in you longing for him to finally press his lips against yours, your skin lighting up where he touched you. And when the tips of your noses finally met, his mouth almost on yours, you closed your eyes, welcoming the moment that was about to come, in three, two, one…

And then you were kissing.

He kissed you tenderly, softly, almost as if he was memorizing each second your lips moved against his. As his fingers traced the skin on your neck, the heat in your cheeks, the fabric of your clothes, you wondered how you’d managed to hold yourself back this long, how you’d gone without tasting the sweetness of the tongue that was making its way through to meet yours.

You wrapped your leg around his waist, your dress sliding up as his grip on you tightened. Your nails bore themselves into his shoulder blades and you were almost scared you were hurting him before he let out a small whimper. No, he was enjoying it.

You felt him and yourself grow needy slowly, the kiss becoming harder, faster, your whole body moving against each other as you moaned quietly. Then, suddenly, he rolled over you, his hands settling on each side of your head as he hovered above you, your mouths still not getting enough of the passion that was flowing through you like electricity.

Almost absent mindedly, he pulled the straps of your dress down again, just stopping for a moment as he gauged your reaction. And when he was sure you were okay with this, he leaned in to kiss you again while his hand hooked your leg around him, stroking the flesh up to your thighs.

He softly nibbled at your lower lip as he indulged in your little sounds, eager to give himself to you completely. He couldn’t get enough of this thought - the girl he had been pining over for months was now under him, her hands pulling up his shirt, kissing him like she was desperate for him.

He let you take off his shirt, impatient, tongue and teeth crashing against yours again as soon as his torso was bare. He slid your dress even higher, bringing it up to your breasts before he lifted you up a little in order to pull it over your head in a smooth motion.

“I’ll help you cheer up,” Taehyung declared as he pulled away, and you laughed, a hearty, soft, beautiful laugh that forced him to join, his heart racing at the sight of you laying there, endearing, beautiful, just perfect.

“Do that,” you said, pulling his face to yours again and tracing his lower lip with your tongue. He pressed his hips against yours, and by now you could clearly feel the hardness against your core. You reached down to open his pants, teasingly slow until he gently pulled your hands away to do it himself.

Slipping out of his jeans, his fingers reached your back, fumbling with your bra until he opened and then threw it aside. Only in your underpants now, you both grinded against each other, you arching your back and him moving his hips as he kissed your neck, nibbling on your sensitive skin and then smoothing it with his delicate tongue.

His hands cupped one of your soft breasts, massaging it while he moved his mouth to your other nipple, sucking and licking it as you became a moaning mess under him. You didn’t care about the fact that it could’ve woken up your roommate; she’d only meet you the next morning and wiggle her eyebrows suggestively.

You tried to pull his shorts down, seeking release, seeking anything more than just the feeling of him through your clothes. He smiled against your skin and helped you to get out of them, finding the way you were struggling to concentrate somehow adorable. In one unexpected movement he freed you of your damp panties too, leaning back as he speechlessly eyed your whole body.

“You’re…” he started, only to trail off as he got caught in the perfect, endless dream that was you.

“I am..?”

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You chuckled, wrapping your legs around him again to pull him closer, his length pressing against your clit, and you let out a shaky breath. “I don’t think so. But I’ll gladly let you think that.”

He smiled, but instead of giving in to kiss you, he moved his body down, leaving a trail of wet kisses on your torso as he went, until he reached your mons pubis. He spread your legs slowly yet hungrily, bringing his face close enough that you could feel him breathing against your wetness.

He leaned forward, only touching your cunt with the tip of his tongue to tease you a little. And when you grabbed his hair impatiently, pushing him into you, he laughed, causing you to giggle with him; but he soon silenced you by licking a hot stripe against your aching core, sinking into you right after as if you were his last meal on earth.

One of his hands released the thigh he was holding to circle your clit slowly with his fingers, a stark contrast to how intensely he was eating you out just inches away from your sensitive bud. And then, he switched, looking at your lustful expression as he sunk two fingers into you, moving them in and out at a delicate pace while his lips sucked on your bundle of nerves. All of this while never leaving you out of his sight.

“Taehy-” you started, but then he crooked his fingers, hitting a spot that sent you into an almost spiritual state. And then, you laughed. “I was trying to speak here…”

“Tell me to stop,” he said, repeating the exact same words he had uttered to you just a week ago. His deep voice and moans against your cunt sent vibrations through your body, and you took a shaky breath before you finally let go, grabbing the sheets under you as you sat up.

He watched your movements intently, letting you push him down onto his back, straddle his legs and grab his cock. You swept your hair to one side as you began stroking his hardness, mouth coming down to lick at the leaking tip, drawing beautiful moans out of him as he threw his head back in sheer pleasure.

He was a little too big to fit him into your mouth wholly; but when you wrapped your lips around him and took him in deeper, your hand took care of everything that your mouth wouldn’t take - and seemingly, this trick did it for him, too.

Sucking his cock was heavenly; not just for him, but also for you. You relished in the sounds that were escaping his throat, his uncontrolled movements that had him on edge, the way his hand sank into your hair tightly, lightly tugging at it.

God, his voice was so deep. He was so beautiful, so perfect.

You continued sucking him to the point he became louder, and eventually, he whined, “stop, stop, stop! Y/N, no more.”

You knew why. His legs had started trembling, his breath was hitched and his cock twitched in your mouth - he was close, but he didn’t want to finish just yet. So instead of keeping up your ministrations, you sat up straight, shifting your body, so you could align your entrance with his throbbing, reddened cock. You rubbed yourself against him for maximum effect until he gripped your waist to still you.

"Do it," he ordered, his hooded eyes darkened beyond belief. You lifted yourself, grabbing his cock as you slowly pressed the tip into you your opening before you sank down on him, carefully, trying to adjust to his length that was just right to not hurt you.

He let out a breathy moan, his hands still on your waist as he tried hard not to thrust up, giving you the chance to settle enough to start whenever you felt ready. He filled you up perfectly - the stretch was breathtaking, every inch that entered you sending shivers down your spine as you looked down to him.

Then, you started to move your hips, starting at a slow and passionate pace that had him close his eyes, his gaze leaving your body for the first time since you had sat down on him. You drowned in the way he was feeling peak ecstatic, enjoying every second he spent with you, every touch you provided him with.

And then his hands wandered up your body, first to your breasts to squeeze them, then snaking around you to settle on your back and pull you down to him. He opened his eyes again, looking at you, your lips brushing against each other's, but not quite kissing yet. You both moaned into the other's mouth, and you whimpered when you felt his hips thrust up to meet your movements, filling you up deeply, entirely.

For a while, the room was filled with lewd and lustful sounds as he picked up the pace, fucking you harder, faster, nibbling at the shell of your ear as goosebumps formed on your arms, his large hands grabbing your ass firmly and stretching out the cheeks deliciously. Then, he sat up, dragging you with him, and you immediately wrapped your legs around him again, half expecting that he was going to push you onto your back to continue like that.

But he didn't - instead, he stopped for a moment, glancing into your tired eyes. Sweat trickled down his temple, and you wiped his damp hair out of his forehead before resting your hand on his cheek that he leaned into. You both didn't exchange a lot of words; the way you looked at each other and the close proximity between you said more than you both could've through spoken actions.

Taehyung kissed you again, just for a second, almost chaste as his fingers explored the skin of your back, coming up to your hair. He pulled you in, almost as if hugging you - or hugging you indeed? -, making your head rest on his shoulder.

You bit into it when you felt him start to move again; now that you both were sitting up, his cock was inside you completely, reaching the perfect spot over and over again as you melted into him. He left open mouthed kisses on your neck, his tongue flicking over the blossoming marks that were already becoming visible, pulling you impossibly close to him.

“Taehyung,” you whispered into his ear, lost at words, just his name on your tongue, the passion burning up your body inside and outside. His pelvic bone rubbing against your clit, his perfect, planned thrusts, his hands on your body, the sounds he breathed right into your ear - everything added together and multiplied with the passion between you by a thousand brought you so close to your release that you dug your nails into his flesh again, leaving new bruises that had him whine in pleasure.

“Y/N,” he called, and you looked at him, all your light make-up surely ruined under your eyes. He swiped at it with his thumb, licking his lips as he put his forehead against yours. “You can let go, baby.”

You could let go - of everything, you thought. Of the negative thoughts, your worries, the hate, the insecurities. Of everything that kept you up at night, everything that ever brought tears in your eyes. You noticed that you had let go of most of these things since Taehyung had suddenly entered your life, although he had always been here, in your reach, in front of your eyes.

Then, he did push you down, your back hitting the mattress as he raised your legs higher, continuing to fuck into you in an almost merciless speed now. Your breaths melded as he came closer, your sounds becoming one, his hair grazing your forehead as he called your name, told you how perfect and gorgeous you were, how he had waited for this moment.

“I’ll take care of you, Y/N,” he told you, setting you on fire with each glance his dreamy eyes gave you, completely lost in you. The expression was almost not one of someone who’d started to get to know you just some time ago; it was of someone who had always admired you from far away. Someone who would look at you and get mesmerized by you, someone who would read a book and wonder what your thoughts about it would be. 

And as he reached down to massage your clit, everything in you exploded like a supernova within seconds as you arched your back and pressed your head against the soft pillow, giving him easy access to your neck.

He whispered more promises into your skin, ones that made you believe him, trust him. Maybe it was the fact that he was one of the brightest souls you had ever met, or maybe it was his ability to feel emotions more intense and realer than anyone else you knew - but you believed every word he said.

As he went on for a few more thrusts, chasing his own high, you held onto these vows, your mind empty, heart thumping and swelling at the thought of this man sticking by your side. How did it only take you two weeks to become this infatuated with him? Was it because you had, despite his seeming arrogance, always admired his intellect, his confidence, his quietness and humility in class, although he could’ve used his popularity in various ways?

Whatever it was - your mind was too occupied to figure this out right now. You felt him come undone with a deep moan, your name on his tongue as his hot cum shot through you. He tried his best not to collapse on you and shifted his weight on his elbows, looking at you as his eyes softened, the lustful darkness becoming a burning ember, liquid velvet, a tempestuous ocean whose gentle waves seemed to carry you away.

“You’re so beautiful,” you told him, your fingers touching his panting mouth softly. You pulled him in for a kiss, one that he put all his affection in, showing you just how special you were.

And as he pulled away, he chuckled a little, bumping his nose against yours. “Have you seen yourself?”

You rolled your eyes. There was no way you were looking anyhow good right now; your hair was disheveled, your make-up smeared and your skin all sweaty. “You’re blinded.”

“Blinded by what?” He grinned at you. He knew what you meant, but he wanted to hear you say it.

What was it? Love? No, not yet.

“By the fact that you like me,” you said, half confidently, half scared that he might stand up and leave awkwardly. And he did, in fact, not answer anything, only smiled at you. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Taehyung?”

“Yeah?” He kept grinning as he pulled out, groaning slightly and laying down beside you. His breathing had steadied a little and he pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He brought his mouth to your hair to give you a kiss before he asked again, “yeah? What is it?”

“Are you not going to say anything? It’s kinda… awkward for me.”

He laughed, giving your body a squeeze as he closed his eyes. “I do like you. I thought I made this very clear in the last few hours since we arrived here.”

“I think you might have,” you said, smiling into his chest.

Was this the definition of what characters felt in romantic novels?

A month and a half later

Taehyung was waiting for you outside. The big, old building in the shady, weird neighbourhood hadn’t scared him off - rather than that, he’d insisted even more to stay here and wait until you were done with what you had come here for.

It had taken so many conversations, phone calls and convincing words to encourage you to finally drive over here to talk to the mess that your mother was, and now you’d obliged, realizing that there would come a day when you would not be able to make things right anymore.

When you left the shabby complex, still not familiar with the new place your mother had decided to settle in, Taehyung was reading a short novel, one that had come out not long ago. And when you opened the door, he smiled widely, noticing how your expression was not demotivated and grumpy at all - instead, you looked like you were happy, despite the redness in your eyes.

“How did it go?” he asked immediately, closing the book and intertwining his long fingers with yours.

“Surprisingly well. She was sober,” you said, grinning, heart swelling at the thought that you had finally sorted everything out with her, “she was sober, Tae. And she said, she’ll go to rehab and try to get better. She even told me she loved me!”

You felt your eyes sting again and brought your fingers up to wipe away a tear before it could escape to roll down your cheek. At the sight of you, Taehyung’s chest heated up, and he remembered how this happiness was the reason he had put his heart in your palms, ready to let you do whatever you deemed fit with it.

“I’m so happy to hear that, baby. I told you it’s worth a try,” he said, bringing your knuckles to his lips to press soft kisses on them. “I’m so, so glad you’re happy.”

“I am. I really am.”

“You know what’s left now?”

You raised your eyebrow in question before he answered. “Introducing your boyfriend to your mom.”

“Patience, grasshoper. She just started to like me again!”

He slapped your forehead, and you flinched, although you had barely felt it. “She’s always loved you, you idiot. What is it with you still not understanding the concept of love?”

You smiled. The everlasting joke had never died between you; he’d always tease you about this, although he knew how full your heart was for everyone around you, how much you loved your mother, what you felt for him.

And he deserved your affection, too. In the last two months, he had shown you nothing but support, kindness and passion. Yes, admittedly, you were still kind of in your honeymoon phase, but the way he handled you and your outbursts gave you the feeling he was the person that’d stick with you.

He proved this not only with small gestures, lovely surprises and sweet promises that he kept, but also with every conversation you’d have about your past, the death of your father, the hell you had gone through after that. Taehyung just… always seemed to know what to say.

You tried to give him all that back, but always felt like it would never do his gracious heart justice. And while you both had not yet used the word love, especially given the fact how early in your relationship you were, a feeling very similar to this seemed to always linger on your tongues. It almost felt like the beginning of it, the start of falling into the depths of what authors described on their pages, in their words and in their metaphors.

“I knew it would work out. I was sitting here and hoping all the time to not see you come out depressed,” Taehyung said, sighing.

“Sounds like you,” you told him, booping his nose to make him smile, “but I do feel like it’s going to be hard. We have a rocky path ahead of us.”

Then, he laughed, remembering words you had once said to him, only to give them back to you now as reassurance. “Where there is hope, there is always hardship.”

You laughed and then you knew for sure.

This was definitely the definition of what felt like love.

If you liked the story, please consider reblogging and/or leaving a comment/sending an ask! I always love hearing from you! <3

#BTSGoldNetGoldenGiftEvent #thebtswritersclub #bangtanarmynet #kwritersworldnet #btscreatorscorner #bangtaninn #ficswithluv #vantaenet #kim taehyung #kth #kth fic #bts au #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts smut #bts fluff #taehyung x reader #bts angst #bts taehyung

[shotorozu]

i feel like im annoying lol but here i am again 🥴

🥴 how do da boys react to a super bimbo mc like shes busty, sweet, innocent, helpful as much as she can be and doesnt really realize when people are hitting on her, she just thinks theyre being extra friendly. (Tamaki, izuku, shoto, denki, bakougo) or any of ur choice

Sorry if I’m being annoying ( •᷄ὤ•᷅)？ and tysm

bimbo s/o

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, amajiki tamaki (bnha)

probably (?) part one // ?

legend : [Y/N = your name] female! s/o, quirk not specific

headcanon type : fluff, crack (x reader)

note(s) : sooo 🤩 it’s my birthday tomorrow, not excited about that?? not sure! but im definitely gonna post more tomorrow, just because

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

you didn’t seem like his type tbh. you’re kinda an airhead, and you’re sweet and helpful to everyone

and awfully innocent,,

so, you seemed like the person that bakugou would try and stay away from, but nope!

not in this case. i’m not sure what conspired in this explosive blond’s head, but he had a oddly specific attraction to you

he used to hate being around you, but it’s also quite entertaining being around you but why, you may ask?

not only are you super nice, and helpful, but you’re very likable too! which caused you to get secret admirers, and fanboys

but you also so happen to be clueless as fuck, so katsuki would always stick around— obviously very amused, only to tell you what their true intentions are

“what do they mean, go out? like,, outside?”

“no, dumbo. they wanna date you.”

“..like the calendar?”

“hah?? are you dumb?” he actually hated how oblivious you were at first, but he just got used to it

but this clueless airhead trait of yours is what he also hates, because when he developed feelings for you— he’d have to tell you

and,, he’s not the best with being direct with romantic stuff. so— you can see how that went.

he ended up confessing you in the most direct way he could’ve said it, but you still. didn’t. understand.

“fuck sake, i want to be your significant other. your fucking lover, the bitch that’ll be with you until this dumbass brain of yours stops working.”

okay, he was a little too direct, but at least you know his feelings!

when you both finally get together, everyone is shocked. like,, you, the sweetheart that likes helping people— dating thee bakugou katsuki??

everyone thought you were threatened to date him, because you didn’t understand other people’s advances— but in reality, katsuki just told you what he felt

straight from the heart.

also, since you’re also quite busty, katsuki loves sleeping on them— he literally won’t sleep, until he has his head resting on those milkers of yours

“maybe this is all you’re good for, huh? a fuckin’ head rest. there might not be anything up there, but at least it gives me some good fuckin’ sleep.”

he,, doesn’t mean that. you’re useful in so many other ways, but he loves pretending that he thinks that way, because of your replies

“ah, yes! i’m fine with being your head rest, katsuki. rest well, love!”

you’re not hurt, because he makes it a point to tell you multiple times a day that you mean lots to him.

but he gets super mad when people tell you that you’re stupid. because he can only tell you that!!

todoroki shouto

you also didn’t seem like you’d be his type,, everyone thought he would’ve wanted someone that’s smart as momo, or something similar

but he’s very content with being with you, for reasons he can’t seem to figure out.

he has his habit of watching you help people from afar, and he couldn’t help but smile whenever he engages in conversations with you

yeah sure, you might be more of an airhead than most people— but you have a heart of gold! and that’s what gathered his attention

sometimes, he’s quite clueless to some social cues— but even he can connect the dots

which you can’t seem to do. but you’re in luck! shouto’s usually the one that tells you what they mean

it’s something he loves and hates, only because of how popular you are with people in general.

sometimes, shouto debates if he should even tell you what they mean— because well,, he likes you.

usually, shouto would interpret things to you like this

“,, they like you,, romantically.”

“shou, are you sure? they look like they wanna be my friend!” he lets you call him by his first name, just because of how content you look by calling him ‘shouto’

he ends up whispering something into your ear, and your eyes light up in realization. “oh! so how princess bubblegum likes marceline?”

“,, yeah.”

but being shouto todoroki has it’s advantages. he isn’t afraid of being as direct as he could possibly be.

“may i have the honor of being your lifelong partner?”

“..?”

“oh, romantically. i’d love to be your lover, Y/N.”

“..oh! that’s what you meant.”

the way he sees you stumble with your words, as you pace back in forth— completely flustered by his words

makes him smile

and it all ends well when his friends see that his wallpaper is literally him laying down on your chest

which is something he always wanted to do

“shouto,, did you finally confess?!”

“yes. they said yes.”

they’re not really surprised that you understood, courtesy to shouto’s bluntness.

he is your protector against all of the people that make you seem useless. man literally lashed out when his father asked him to date someone with ‘more intelligence’

“Y/N may not be the definition of being book smart, but Y/N’s not useless!”

in short— he’s the bimbo protector! he’ll always be patient around you, and he would never dare to dumb you down.

amajiki tamaki

oh lOrd, please help him

you’re so kind, sweet, and helpful. you’d help anyone— regardless of their personality. and that’s what made tamaki interested in you

but you’re also very popular. which he could see why— since you’re attractive in a unique and special way.

tamaki absolutely disliked the idea of your kindness being taken advantaged of. i mean,, the guts of some people!

but he also hated being the one to break the news to you good or bad

he’s not good with the blunt stuff either, and he might’ve been worried about being around you— because well,, you look like you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

“tamaki, what do they mean by ‘coming home with them for a nice time’ do they.. want to play mario cart with me?”

he looks like he needs to pass out, but he ends up telling you anyway. he’s just lucky that you could hear him.

but he sighs in relief when you end up kindly declining

nejire and mirio are SO amused by this pairing. i mean, it’s an interesting dynamic! how could they not be invested?

yet, they refuse to even explain things to you, especially when tamaki’s around to do said explaining

because apparently, ‘it’ll help you socialize more, especially with Y/N!’

but remember when i said that tamaki wasn’t great with the blunt approach? yeah— he’d have a heart attack, just trying to explain his feelings

“i— uhm how do i say this,, would you like t-to go out for some dinner with m-me?”

“oh sure! i should go tell mirio and nejire” you’d say that with a smile, and it felt like he was going to pass away on the spot.

nejire and mirio were the ones the tell you that ‘no, tamaki doesn’t want to be friendly with you, because he wants to romantically date you.’

and it felt like forever when they were explaining how and why, while tamaki was sitting in the corner.

but thank GOD! because you like him too!

super hesitant on resting on your chest, i mean,, to him, it looked like the nicest pillow for the deepest sleep! but he wasn’t sure if that’d be okay

because no!! to!! taking!! advantage!! of!! Y/N’s!! kindness!!

speaking of that, despite the fact that he’s socially awkward— he will not hesitate on defending you from any haters!

like, when people say that “tamaki and Y/N are such an awkward couple. tamaki’s super awkward, it looks like there’s nothing in Y/N’s brain. maybe she’s brainless”

because how dare they. not everyone is book smart— but that doesn’t give people the right to call you stupid!

“Y/N’s not brainless! she’s kind, helpful, and the sweetest p-person i have ever met. i suggest you take that back!”

in short— it gives him heart palpitations just having to explain things to you, but at the end of the day, it’s all worth it, if he can be with you

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha imagines #bnha x y/n #bnha fluff #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki imagines #todoroki x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou imagines #amajiki imagines #amajiki tamaki x reader #amajiki x y/n #amajiki x reader #bnha headcanons #mha x you #mha headcanons #bnha x you

[phoenixyfriend]

SW Suddenly-Omegaverse AU: Surrogacy, Worldbuilding, Obi-Mom

Truly the main irony of all this is that everyone considers Obi-Wan the Better Omega but Anakin is the one who's actually 👀👀👀 about pregnancy

Obi-Wan: I have the deepest respect for those who do it, but the idea of growing another person inside of me is weird and gross, no, thank you.

Meanwhile Anakin is like. Immediate baby fever. Someone actually approaches him like "hey... there are forms you can fill out to request an exception for pregnancy, and like... regulations" because he's that obvious about it.

I assume that if they've got safety nets for accidental pregnancies, then they're probably aware that there are people who want to do it on purpose? I feel like in an omegaverse where 'biological imperative to procreate' can be so much more intense, then maybe there's old precedent that stuck around even after suppressants got most of those hormones under better control.

Bit torn. Just know I want Anakin to Make Baby.

"Anakin, what are you--" "Do you think offering to be someone's surrogate would be acceptable to the council as a way to be pregnant without getting attached." "...what." "They'd probably accept that as a way to practice not getting attached, right?" "N...no, that's not... what?"

Anakin approaching Bail and Breha and being like “Do you... still want a kid? I would provide a kid. Do you want one here*?”

* in this dimension

Great way to give up the baby as a parent because he'd still be able to see them once in a while but also like... it's not HIS kid, technically. He can be a cool uncle who happened to give birth, which is distant enough to not be 'attached,' but close enough that his Tatooine-raised 'must ensure family is safe whenever possible' background doesn't flip out. It helps that 'Core World Royalty' is like... a top-tier family to be raised in.

(It would have to be post-war because he probably shouldn’t be risking his life while very pregnant. He needs to be reminded of that sometimes.)

Bail/Breha is an alpha/alpha relationship and while a pregnancy is still possible,* it’s a whole lot more difficult, and that's on top of Breha's canon medical issues that resulted in her heart and lungs getting replaced.

* AFAB alphas can get pregnant, and AMAB omegas can inseminate, but the success rate on that angle is much lower than the 'traditional' alpha/omega roles, as is any attempt at reproduction outside rut/heat. They're low-fertility overall for the non-dominant aspect of their reproductive system, which... ha, Anakin and Obi-Wan try to get explanations for why the senary system works the way it does, but it's a very longform history lesson that comes down to 'idk this got cemented so long ago that nobody really knows why anymore.'

AKA "why do you title these roles male omega and female alpha instead of intersex omega and intersex alpha since both parties have both genitals."

ANYWAY

Anakin: I want to make babies. But I don't want to get kicked out of the order. But I don't want to give up my own babies for adoption. But I can't keep my own babies if I want to stay a Jedi. So basically I want to have someone else's babies? Anakin: ...wait shit that's just surrogacy.

Anakin, calling up Obi-Wan: Hey are the Organas still struggling to have a kid? Obi-Wan: ...not really your business. Anakin: You're friends with Bail again though, right? Obi-Wan: I am, but-- Anakin: Do you think they'd want me to be a surrogate? Obi-Wan: What.

I can't decide if it's funnier for the Order to be like "I mean... technically there's no rules against this?" or if this is a precedent set by at least three omegas every generation because that's just how a/b/o manifested for omegas in a biological and cultural sense.

Bail: Wait, your former apprentice is... volunteering... to be our surrogate. Obi-Wan, exhausted: Yes. Bail: He barely knows us. Obi-Wan: He respects you and you're the closest people he knows that want a child and would be good parents. Bail: And he's just... volunteering? Obi-Wan: Yes. Also, you did say your primary worry was that a surrogate might be targeted for assassination and you couldn't ask someone to risk that, right? Anakin is very much able to avoid assassins, and would be staying primarily in the Temple anyway. Very safe, and not particularly scared of assassins in the first place. Bail: Your words say you approve, but your tone says otherwise. Obi-Wan: Anakin considers me his father. I'm not old enough to be a grandparent. Bail: Ah.

Anakin is a surrogate and enjoys it and everything is fine and then like a year later he's accidentally pregnant with his own and Rex's kid, and nobody knows how to ask if it's actually an accident.

A suggestion from @gelpenss:

OH MAN i.... have to drive home. But I just had a thought about like. I always want to poke at Betas in A/B/O like are they “normal” or different from our standard or.... but ANYWAY assuming they have a pheromonal thing I just think it would be neat if betas had the ability to be the Bucket of Cold Water. Like if caught early enough, and with the caveat it’s not permanent, a beta could arrest a rut or heat in its tracks until a more ideal time. Like. They aren’t birth control. But they are the remind me later button.

Okay done driving I am Returned to bring up why I brought up betas and it’s this: well okay 1. It plays nice with a popular but inaccurate dog breeding urban legend that female dogs will like, delay heat cycles? so that the bitches above them in pack hierarchy have first choice of mate selection. And I think in omegaverse it would be cool if that was a Bio Fact, and also historically enforced by the third designation. 2. It gives me an excuse to have betas have the Most Sensitive sense of smell because it’s their “job” to pick up on things before they go too far to be put on pause. 3. I’m just thinkin ‘bout a beta clone [...] just hovering around Obi-Wan because they found out how much stress his heat cycle causes and they’re like “okay cool I will help make sure it does Not”

I want to like a/b/o verses but betas niggle at me. I want to give them a hat and a Function that woulda helped before modern medicine.

I'm not sure how I feel about betas being able to delay heats, but I do like the idea of them having a more sensitive sense of pheromone smell than most. Most aliens assume it's omegas with the best sense of smell, and betas with the worst, but it's more complicated than that because they all specialize: Alphas are actually less attuned to pheromone smells, but more attuned to things that were useful back when humans were still a hunter-gatherer species. Omegas tend to be heightened towards danger smells like fire or aggression, and pheromones relating to children/care. Betas, as suggested above, are very sensitive to pheromone changes relating to mood and behavior of the community around them.

I like the idea that betas were historically the ones that ended up taking care children, unmated omegas, and so on during people's heats and ruts, because they kept their heads about themselves long enough to do things like cook and clean while someone was reeking of hormones. The checks and balances work out that betas may have lower fertility, but it makes them better able to support the network around them.

It works in with humanity's general collective history of thriving the most when working as a community.

Given that I decided that this is Jangobi, the clones might all subconsciously view Obi-Wan as Mom. Not intentionally, but, you know... Obi-Wan the not-evil stepmother. He doesn't know how he got into this situation, but he sure is here, and he sure as hell doesn't know how to get out.

Obi-Wan "I don't need to get pregnant, I have three million stepchildren" Kenobi

I definitely love "clones all want to make Obi-Wan's heats less stressful" but like in a different way from Whatever The Fuck Anakin's Got Going On.

Obi-Wan using the force to dull the pain in a Shiny's broken leg while the medic works on it and the Shiny just mumbles "Thanks mom" and everyone gets very embarrassed and pretends it didn't happen.

But then it happens again. And again.

Obi-Wan asks for an explanation from Cody and gets a halting response that, since Jango is technically their father, and his scent has been all over Obi-Wan recently... and Obi-Wan puts in a lot of effort to take care of them all.......

Anakin overhears the clones calling Obi-Wan "mom" and just. The most judgmental eyebrow raise.... Mostly in the sense of "You never let me call you dad" "Thought you said you weren't anyone's parent." "Hey, hey, Obi-Wan. What the fuck."

BOBA. BOBA ABSOLUTELY CALLS OBI-WAN MOM WHENEVER POSSIBLE. IT'S DEEPLY FRUSTRATING.

Obi-Wan eventually manages to admit that he's uncomfortable with it at minimum because of the gendering the word has for him, can they at least use the neutral 'buir' instead?

Word spreads like fire, takes like two days max for everyone to switch.

(Anakin demands cuddles as compensation for not getting to call Obi-Wan any true parental term for years.)

#Anakin Skywalker #Obi Wan Kenobi #Bail Organa #Rexwalker #Jangobi #Captain Rex #Commander Cody #Boba Fett #star wars #the clone wars #omegaverse #SW Suddenly Omegaverse #mpreg tw #phoenix posts