#like as a lesbian i can respect when a man is attractive and understand while fans would go crazy for that person

[genderqueerdykes]

heya

i can't sleep because my sexuality in relationship to my gender has been bothering me.

im transmasc, but genderfluid. not just boy/girl genderfluidity, it's all over the place. and i feel like i identify with being a gay man sometimes, and i also go through periods of feeling like a masculine lesbian.

i know how controversial this is and it breaks my heart because i can't figure out what to do. i know my identity should be for me, but i don't want to make people uncomfortable if i come off as a boy who's a lesbian sometimes.

also i feel intense imposter syndrome over this when i switch around. but it undeniably makes me feel like myself when i say I'm a transmasc genderfluid bi lesbian, which makes me feel good of course. i just wish i could stop feeling bad about it

is any of this normal and is there any other genderfluid ppl with complicated relationships to their sexuality? i feel alone here i guess

love your blog btw makes me happy and validated when i read what you and your followers have to say to people 💖

hello! thanks for stopping by!

i think it can be very easy to work ourselves up and over think things when it comes to how people will receive us in queer spaces- online queer spaces have been needlessly hostile over the past few years, mostly due to the relative anonymity and virtually zero consequences for being harmful and rude. it's okay to get scared sometimes

it may seem 'contradictory' or 'controversial' but it isn't that uncommon to go from identifying as a gay man to identifying as a masculine lesbian! genderfluidity means your genders can be. whatever. there's no set rules, and it's okay if your attraction changes when your gender does. mine does, as well. abrosexual and abroromantic may suit you

you don't have to pass any tests or anything like that to be successfully seen as genderfluid, it's okay if you change to be whatever, whenever. i always identify as a butch lesbian & a femme gay bear, all the time, no matter how I feel or who is fronting in my system. while some cishets may not get it, most queer people i explain this to say "oh yeah, i totally caught that vibe"

it can be scary to have "Strange" identities, but the meaning of "queer" is literally "weird" and having a weird identity falls right in line with the community. you're allowed to be a transmasculine lesbian, and you are even allowed to be a male/boy lesbian- there is no actual cosmic rule stating that lesbians cannot be men, partially men, or be genderfluid and be men sometimes

regardless of how others perceive you, you know who you are. you are the arbiter of your lived experience, and while someone misinterpreting you can be painful and inconvenient, it shouldn't define your experience. if people don't understand, keep going til you find the ones who do, and the ones who try to. even if people don't "Get" your gender, there are a lot of folks who will respect it, anyways, and you deserve that

hope that helps and makes sense. take care of yourself, good luck out there. there are no rules when it comes to be genderfluid. genderfluid people are encouraged to fuck with gender, rules, roles, presentation, etc. and it's only natural that a genderfluid person will have identities that "conflict" when approached through a non-queer lens. identities don't have to "make sense", they are mostly comprised of feelings !

good luck out there! feel free to stop by again

#asks #answers #genderfluid #lesbian #gay #transmasc #transmasculine

[lesbianp1lled]

it's so lame that we even have to identify as 'gold star' lesbians at this point in human existence. unless you live in an extremely homophobic country, there just isn't a reason for a gay person to force themself be intimate with the opposite sex, period. that's self-r*pe to any actual gay person and the mere idea has always disgusted me, even when I tried to convince myself I was bi because of comphet lol (I do live in a pretty homophobic country where I've never seen a gay couple hold hands publicly in almost 30 years.. ). I've never accepted even a single date with a man, 0 intimacy (ew), because even despite being able to realize/ accept that I was a lesbian only in my early 20s, I've always instinctively known I'm gay. most people do, and thus physical contact with the opposite sex who we're not attracted to is abhorrent. that's why I think women who've had het sex and still claim to be lesbians are either fakebians or have 0 self-dignity and a desperate need for attention to the point of jumping on a d*ck for societal approval, and I'll never understand that/ f*ck with that. that's the most anti-feminist bs, I know so many straight women who didn't have sex before like 30 because they hadn't met a man they loved and trusted enough. virginity is lauded in women so there's no pressure to be with men either. so there's no justifying being with males while claiming to be a lesbian lol.

I actually needed to went about sth personal as well and since I sadly have no lesbian friends, this is the best option. basically all my relationship attempts have ended tragically because all my crushes have been het or bihet women. I live in a tiny ass country so there simply aren't enough lesbians yet there are thousands of drop-dead-gorgeous het and bihet women and I am simply a woman with eyes, what can I say.. all the actual lesbians tend to be butches, and don't get me wrong, butches have my whole heart, but I'm a femme-for-femme kinda gal, I can't help it. I am conventionally attractive and work hard to stay in shape but I'm no supermodel either and actually insanely beautiful women scare me a bit so I'm just looking for sb on the same level. I don't want to feed into the stereotype about lesbians being unattractive, I don't think that's true. but in my country it tends to be the case, which is especially jarring because the straight women are outstandingly beautiful. ofc looks isn't the main thing I'm looking for but I don't want a romantic relationship with sb I'm not even attracted to. I've tried that and it didn't work, it isn't fair on me nor them.

I've also graduated from every level of education with the highest honors, I'm a uni lecturer since 20, I have my own company, everyone tells me I'm one of the nicest people they know and I still can't find a gf who'd like me as much as I love her?? that's what's truly enraging, to see all these amazing het and bihet women genuinely love and give their all to these misogynistic subpar beer-bellied males who use them as personal maids while I can't find one (1!!) woman to love me as an objectively good-looking feminist they could 100% relate to and be in an equal/ synergetic relationship with.

I'm sorry but heterosexuality truly is a masochistic self-destructive condition in women, I know it's innate but it's true.. inc3ls (including the trans kind) have no idea what real hardship is in dating women. it's seeing the fugliest moids get with the most kind, intelligent, ambitious and hot women only to drain them from life and self-respect and not even appreciate getting with a woman waaay out of their league. while you are on that woman's level but she'll never love you even if she's bi because ultimately you just don't have a nasty dangler in your pants which doesn't even satisfy her anyway. so you just seethe in your justified bitterness and try go on with your life despite feeling like no woman will ever love you, not because you're unlovable or in any way unworthy but simply because you're a woman.

it hurts so much to see all these hot lesbian couples online, it just feels surreal, like where are these women? all I see is obese goofy-looking 'polyamourous' aka promiscuous bihet she/they qWeErs who want to use me as a s3x toy with their disgusting boyfriend.

and this brings me to my ex. she was the one I gave a chance to because she was the first woman to make a move on me, she told me I was perfect, we talked for hours every day for months, went on dates, she fantacized about living in a house together etc, only to randomly ghost me, tell me our relationship meant nothing despite me having admitted to her I was already traumatized by bihet women leading me on. and then ofc she got with some receding neckbeard guy who looks like he could be her uncle not long after lmao. after legit telling me she detests men and would Nevvverr date one again, that I was her perfect woman. so all she gave me was trust issues that all women are secretly bihet c*cksuckers who will eventually leave me no matter how perfect and lovable I am. I know this can't be true but it truly feels like that. she just got married to that male (probably partly for a visa lol) but she certainly tries to convince herself and others desperately she's madly in love with him while watching all of my insta stories in 2.3 seconds for some reason, I've muted her so I found out about her marrying months later.

maybe she knew I was far out of her league and randomly sabotaged our relationship, because it was such a shock out of a blue sky to me. thankfully I wasn't fully in love yet and dodged her (mentally unstable) bullet but we need to address the trauma these bihet women leave us with. because that's entirely valid and not our fault, not everyone has the privilege to date fellow lesbians when finding a real one who isn't a fakebian feels impossible to begin with. I also hate the infantilization of lesbians, she definitely used me for her idiotic little 'sapphic daydreams', f*ck that, we are not some uwu fairies, we are grown women and we are just as entitled to only date people we're physically attracted to as het women. as I said, I wasn't even that attracted to her but the knowledge that she got hetero married while larping as some grand qWeEr feminist who will never date males again hit me like a truck. she's out to the world while I'm only out to my friends and some family because I could be discriminated against at my homophobic workplace. the fkn iront in that.. she even started identifying in plural after meeting him lmaoo, she must've realized that she really is just a measly hetero and no longer has a way 'in' to the lgbt thing she desperately wants to co-opt. she's 100% a poli-qweer lol.

I hate that I'm even allowing myself to be traumatized by her, she's unworthy of that but I can't help it, every romantic experience only worsens my trust issues with women and my current crush is bi as well.. at least she doesn't lie about liking men which is still off-putting but at least she's honest. idk what to do anymore. I'm just livid at this homophobic heteronormative world and the way the hets just keep getting away with it. I nearly threw up at the sight of all het couples today.

and bihets are the worst male-worshippers out there as well, they put up with so much more bs from men than decent self-respecting het women do. and they're desperate to be with a man at all times. some time ago I went out with a bi woman who I didn't know was bi, she presented herself half-virginal, did mention two exes, male and female. but turns out she has slept with every other man in town, brags about it online as if that makes her a 'bad bitch' , no hun, just an unpaid prostitute for patriarchal pleasure.

the only consolation is that het relationships are never equal so they will not have some idyllic marital bliss with their ugly moids as they desperately want to pretend. but still, they have such immeasureable social privilege being het-attracted and -partnered and then they have the audacity to larp as some great qWeEr activist publicly without any shame in their hypocrisy. god I wanna expose her fake ass so badly, tell everyone what a lying bihet charlatan she is. I might never be able to get married in my country because I'm actually gay and she's unapologetically prancing around with a husband when she said she'll never date a man again. as gay people we grapple with so much baseless misplaced shame while the het fakers seem to feel none. meanwhile there are lesbians all over the world forced into loveless het marriages to be r*ped by their husbands. unspeakably disgusting. sometimes I just want to vacate this abhorrent homophobic planet but can't let the homophobes win.

sorry for the long rant but what do you think I should do going forward? I feel like I'm succumbing to complete bitterness and despite not envying the misogynistic relationships of heteros, at least they have the opportunity to be in romantic relationships without fearing being discriminated against, disowned or hate crimed, no matter how flawed their relationships are. meanwhile I'm just getting older, I might still look 18 but I feel like I'll die before a woman of worth will ever reciprocate my love. where to move, where are the actual lesbians?? how to deal with the bilious defeatism and, tbh unfortunately justified victim mentality?

I'm sure a lot of lesbians can relate to my experiences and I would really appreciate them sharing how they got out of this hole/ repeating pattern of dating women who were beneath them and unable to actually love women romantically/ sexually. at this point I'd do anything to even have a woman sexually objectify me at least 😩

oh, and what's notable is that despite never having been in a proper committed relationship and having these failed traumatic attempts, I have never resented women as a whole. women owe me nothing, but the women who have literally thrown themself at me only to lead me on like I begged them not to deserve no remorse. and I haven't lost my mind or general will to live either, I thrive academically and at work, I entertain myself and enjoy my time with family and friends. I don't normally hate on other people in relationships for no reason either, just in a really bad place rn lol. I think it's important to note for all of the lesbophobes out there who call us 'lescels' and compare us to r*pe-loving misogynistic incels who think they should own women as sex toys. I've never resented a woman like that even if she's hurt me beyond words, that shit is just degenerate y-chromosome scrote coded. lesbians will never be able to oppress women, not even if some have unrightful disdain against women because we are the ones oppressed by hetero-attracted women.

also hate we have to identify as gold star lesbians because surely it makes sense that a lesbian wouldn’t ever sleep with a man? But so many call themselves lesbians even if they have slept with a man which is a false identity for them because a lesbian just wouldn’t sleep with a man. But the whole ‘gold star lesbian’ thing started as a way for straights to make fun of us. They’d say “Oh you haven’t slept with a man? Do u want a GOLD STAR?” so when I call myself a gold star lesbian i’m mostly just reclaiming it and saying yeah I am proud of it, and yeah give me a gold star! Lmao

I won’t go into everything you said because i’ll be here all night but I’m also a femme mostly attracted to other femmes and it is true most lesbians are butches which makes our dating pool even smaller. I don’t rule out butches completely, I have found some attractive I’m just mostly attracted to femmes and I’ve never met a butch irl I’ve known other femme lesbians though.

What I think you should do moving forward? Is not to lose hope. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. Get in touch with the local community, if you don’t like going to nightclubs u could always join any events or anything like that, a good way to feel in touch with ur local community can be things like volenteering and the like.

I know it’s hard out here for lesbians but you will find your person. My dms are always open if u wanna vent or just talk!

#asks

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

The other day I said something and I guess I just wanted your thoughts on it. What I said was that the term "asexual spectrum" really bothered me for the following reasons:

It implies that allosexuals are inherently crazy nonstop sex machines (which is already a stigma bisexuals face) and it can create confusion among people struggling with their identity (which genuinely happened to me, a so-called allosexual with what was at the time an extremely low libido due to various mental health struggles)

There are near infinite ways to experience an emotion (ie attraction), but there's only one way to not experience said emotion

I just wanted to run it by you since you pop up a lot in my feed, seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and are actually asexual and can provide insight that I wouldn't have as an 'allosexual' (God I hate that word, it feels bad in my mouth lol)

Just a quick note: I am not asexual. I thought I was for 7 years (those last two years I used the split attraction model and believed I was asexual AND a lesbian). But after more of my own journey I realized I was just a straight trans man (the lack of attraction stemming from dysphoria in my case). And while I may not be asexual I 1. Was very much involved in the community for a long time, and 2. Firmly believe that everyone has a right to their opinion and are allowed to voice it even if you aren't in that group (with there being respectful ways to discuss things).

Also you can just say non asexual lol. Or just what ever your sexuality is. It's all good.

That said, I 100% agree with you. Your two points are some major ones. My FAQ has links to a ton of posts where I explain more issues with the split attraction model. But a quick summary based on my memory:

-like you said. There's only one way to experience a lack of something.

-boundaries (ie. What you want out of a relationship) are not a sexuality.

-it allows so much overlap between other sexualities that it starts to invalidate and take meaning away from them.

-the model is so broad that anyone can fit into it. It can be used to define anyone, asexual or not. And that leads to lots of confusion and makes the asexuality lose meaning.

-defining every single part of yourself and how you experience attraction is harmful. How you experience/express attraction can change with time. Who you are attracted to (used broadly) cannot. By defining things based on something that can change you head down the slope that sexuality is a choice rather than just who you are. This fuels homophobia and will fuel aphobia. I have met actual people who claim to be asexual and claim sexuality is a choice without any understanding of how homo/lesbo/bi/aphobic that is to say.

-asexuality at this point means something different for everyone. This means I know nothing if you tell me you're asexual. You could be dating everyone on the block or have no interest at all and saying you're asexual. I can't tell. What's the point of using a word to describe yourself if the word doesn't have any concrete meaning?? If someone says their gay or bi I know what that means. I can't say the same for asexuality and I feel bad for actual asexuals who's identity has been taken away like that.

-I have legitimately seen it used to justify being with someone you aren't attracted too. One of my links in my FAQ has stories from asexuals who have had the split attraction model used to coerce them into dating or having sex and how much that messed up their mental health. The justification being "I can have sex to make my partner happy even tho I don't actually find them attractive." When no partner should be asking you to do that. Ever. Every single one of those stories explained how the person thought they were fine until they realized how fucked up it made them.

Check out the FAQ for more. Hope that helps.

#answered #ask #discourse #lgbt discourse #asexual discourse

[unapologeticallygay]

Anne Lister, the lesbian diarist dubbed "the first modern lesbian"

L by Joshua Horner (c 1830), R by Mrs. Turner of Halifax (c 1822)

Anne Lister lived from April 3, 1791 - September 22, 1840. She was an independent landowner from England who was noted to always be dressed in black and not partaking in typical femininity. She became well known after her death when her diaries were discovered and decoded. The diaries were written from age 15 until her death, parts written in code, and detailed her history of attraction and relationships with women.

“Burnt Mr Montague’s farewell verses that no trace of any man’s admiration may remain. It is not meet [meant] for me. I love and only love the fairer sex and thus beloved by them in turn my heart revolts from any other love than theirs” 29 Jan 1821 – written in Anne’s journal [reference SH:7/ML/E:4]

She did not appear to be ashamed of her sexuality as she would openly court women she was interested in and had many lovers. Her first love was a pupil and roomate at the Manor School in York when she was 15, Eliza Raine. It was with Eliza that she developed the code she would use in her diaries to write notes back and forth with. The first entry in Anne's diary was "Eliza left us." Her second named lover was Isabella Norcliffe and she remained an occasional lover through the remainder of her life but rejected her as life partner, perhaps because of disagreeing with Isabella's drinking. Isabella then introduced Anne to the woman that would become the love of Anne's life, Mariana Belcombe. Mariana married a man even though it upset Anne but they continued their affair for a while after. She eventually told Anne that she was ashamed to be seen with her due to her masculinity and they parted ways. Mariana would later try to get Anne back when Anne inherited a large amount of money and the Shibden Hall but she rejected her. She went on to marry (as a church blessing, not legally recognized) Ann Walker because she met her social standing. This would be the first gay marriage in England. Anne passed away six years after their marriage.

Her wearing all black everyday was a public statement to others of her being different, as at the time young unmarried women typically wore white or lighter colours while black was reserved for mourning. Men would yell and shout at her things like "are you a man or a woman?" and would follow her when she was in public. Because of her looks her nickname from the public was "Gentleman Jack". She largely didn't respect men as she believed to be more educated than most who only studied one subject.

“I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say that I am like no one in the whole world” 20 Aug 1823 – written in Anne’s journal quoting Rousseau [reference SH:7/ML/E/7]

Anne was adventurous and liked to travel. She was the first woman to ascend Mount Perdu and the first person ever to ascend Mount Vignemale. At the time conventions called for women not to travel alone, they had to at least have a male companion to protect them. She did not abide by this and often travelled alone and later on with her wife. It was during her and her wife's visit to Russia that she was bit by an insect and succumbed to fever. She was 49.

Her diaries were originally first found by a relative of hers, John Lister, in 1890 but because John was also gay and feared his sexuality being found out if he broadcast her diaries, he reburied them. Later they would be found and translated in 1983 by historian Helene Whitbread. A section of her diaries remain lost.

"Writing my journal has amused & done me good. I seemed to have opened my heart to an old friend. I can tell my journal what I can tell none else." From Anne Lister’s journal entry of 16th September 1823.

Sources

https://www.annelister.co.uk/

https://museums.calderdale.gov.uk/famous-figures/anne-lister

#anne lister #people #lesbian #gnc #lgbt history #lesbian history #lgbt education #lgbtq #women in history #lesbianism #gender non conformity

[makuzume]

Genshin Characters and their Gender

🔸Liyue women edition🔸

Note: Personal opinion! I respect everyone else's opinion as to what they think the characters' gender are. I do not claim these to be facts or the only acceptable gender. For fun only! (since there are no official genders stated by Hoyo)

Other blogs: [Masterlist] [Liyue Men Gender]

🩵Shenhe - Agender, Straight

Agender - not identifying self with any gender.

She was only 6 years old when she was abandoned by her family and raised by Cloud Retainer, so she mostly grew up with adepti mindsets and behaviors.

Since adepti can take up any form, gender may not be relevant to them. Shenhe may have also believed that it is not necessary to know these, and she assumes that she would also be genderless- that she would be agender (Though she does acknowlede that she has a female human body)

Though despite this, my opinion would be that she still would have romantic and sexual attraction towards men, it's just it would take her some time to fully understand these feelings of attraction sicne these weren't taught to her (and she grew up with adepti, thus lacking interactions with people, especially men, so she lacks the exposure to these feelings)

❤️Hu Tao - Lesbian

Lesbian - woman attracted to women

Seems like the type that most people would assume she is straight but is actually more romantically and physically attracted to women in general. (Gives the same vibe from lesbians I know irl)

❤️Beidou - Biromantic/Bisexual

Biromantic/Bisexual - romantic and sexual attraction to both female and male

Beidou is free spirited and adventurous, she has probably been with men and women of all sorts, going with the flow on who she could be with, considers herself bisexual.

She would really get along with either a man or woman. For man, it would be someone strong in strength, personality, and free-spirited like her. For women, it would be when she would want a somewhat sweeter relationship and she can sometimes be the 'gentleman' in the relationship (while also receiving some gentle affection back from the woman as well)

Additional: based on those events and dialogues with Beidou and Ningguang- It's hard to say that they are NOT into secretly dating.

💛Ningguang - Lesbian

Similar to Yae Miko (Inazuman gender headcannons coming soon from the drafts!), she is more interested in women since she believes that the only people who would truly understand a woman, such as herself, and her needs is another woman.

Makes her very flattered if a woman compliments her looks compared to if a man did it; She is the type to think if a woman compliments her appearance- it means much more to her since only women would understand the effort she puts into her make up and clothing.

Might be displeased with the male dates she has been in, she still somewhat accepts such dates for networks, information gathering, and Mora purposes. However, she was uninterested at all and might've even thought it was a waste of time.

🧡Xiangling - Straight

I imagine Xiangling to be straight, though she may sometimes think she is a little bi because she gets 'girl crushes' and is open about it, but she is just genuinely straight. For girl crushes, it's just never getting romantically or physically attracted towards them. Though she is highly supportive of all gender identities!

💙Yelan - Bisexual

Very similar to Ningguang, except her standards are just MUCH much higher for men.

When she dates men, she wants to be treated like the queen that she is, being spoiled, and she leaves them hanging after she's done with them.

Same thing that she will do for the women, except she would be more caring about how the woman is treated (since Yelan is a fellow woman herself) and she is more polite towards them, even after she's done having a date with them/being together with them. They might even share a pleasant conversation if they run into each other after splitting up.

The only exception that she would be kinder to a man would be if the guy was truly a good man that Yelan can trust without her having any ulterior motive towards the guy.

No headcaonnons for Yan Fei, Yun Jin, Ganyu, Xinyan, and Keqing :')

#genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #gender #Shenhe #Hu Tao #Beidou #Ningguang #Xiangling #Yelan

[redheadbigshoes]

The people who dislike labels, believe being bi/pan is the default or that everyone is actually bi/pan, and that lesbianism doesn't make sense because "what is a woman/non-man" and "what is a man" like bro these ppl will actually be the bane of my existence and i hope they rot because they're lesbophobia is so loud but they'll never call it that and then they accumulate a following of other bi/pan ppl who start to believe that too and none of them listen to gay men and especially not lesbians. Idky ppl hate us so much that all of a sudden being a lesbian isn't a real thing. Also ppl assuming that by IDing as a lesbian is inherently terfy (literally seen someone say this) like god why aren't we left alone what is so wrong about not wanting to be with a man

They really are out there with the same discourse cishets have about the community. They don’t understand using bi/pan as the norm or that saying everyone is bi/pan is not fucking inclusive. There isn’t supposed to be a norm, people shouldn’t assume anyone’s sexuality regardless if it’s something besides straight. When they say all that I know they usually are aiming towards cishets but they completely forget about us when doing that. They don’t accept we’re not attracted to the opposite gender which is homophobic af (while they think they’re these super inclusive and nice people).

I feel like because other sexualities’ communities are larger than the lesbian and gay community and have faced a lot of prejudice from the LGBTQ+ community a lot of them have been invalidating other identities as a defense mechanism and they end up not caring about how prejudiced they can be because being part of a label that’s the majority in the community can give a sense of power somehow, of thinking you get to do anything because there’s always someone to back you up on your shit.

All of that is very rooted in the fact people don’t respect nor do they believe on our lack of attraction to men.

Someone started calling a lesbian terf and now it feels that term has been way more used basically as a slur to attack lesbians than to use it correctly following the actual meaning of the word.

#stephanie answers #anon #long post #‘bi lesbians’

[myhotel-year]

TONIGHT'S MOVIE: Ready Player One

this is a series where i am watching a movie and want to tell people things out loud but i'm alone or told to shut up irl

THOUGHTS:

very my dad coded, "the 80s were peak in all human history and time" and i'm suspect of that, but they all seem harmless

you can WIN by knowing TRIVIA this man was autistic

he is also autistic coded and it's a bit obvious but i love him

i refuse to ever believe the true nerds would ever EVER work w the bad guys

just because they're corporate. one thing men learned to do in the 80s was to "stick it to the man"

secretary lady said "sir these are children. grow up" and she was RIGHT lmao ur nemesis is 11

i would have loved this at 12 years old /affectionate

Artemis is a GOD

omfG THEY KEPT H'S CHARACTER

my fellow nerds!! we must unionise to to keep our nerd-dom free and equal

i need Fred voice man to secretly switch sides

i was always a fantasy mythology latin theater arts nerd autistic growing up not the scifi star wars star trek science math boy nerd autistic

but i see you, i understand

ok maybe making a religion out of your game and having a singular popular voted leader is more of a "democracy wins" rather than communism but it's going in the right direction

ong they're playing a game while evil secretary is like "i can just kill these children irl, then they die in the game"

ok maybe i'm just attracted to Nerd Freaks,

AND the fact that the kids are fighting where dying in game doesn't mean dying irl

but the corporate bad guys are going the kill irl to kill in game method, it's really telling

THE IRON GIANT AND THE 80S VOLTRON

as a transgender person, i recognize a love for the customization of characters that videogames give

prostate cancer medicine ad

(side note all the bad side effects literally describe most of my chronic pain wow cancer sucks)

fuck my new cart hits so hard

IT'S NOT ABOUT WINNING IT'S ABOUT PLAYING

fuck i hate bad guys, they're so hateable

i really son't understand the mechanics of how moving/hitting works in this videogame vs real life shit

hank green's book did it better

HA BOSS GUY GOT KICKED IN THE BALLS

this is what you get for making weird sex toys out of cool vr stuff

THE QUARTER I AM SOBBING

maybe everything i watch is good because i'm high not the other way around

either way i am having more fun consuming media than i ever have this makes me so happy

NINJAS DON'T HUG

i love that he's aware of the real world and the videogame at the same time

stick it to the karens these days

the first easter egg ever in video game history 😭

mans doxxing himself to get irl help, THAT is reaching out to your community

the nerds being happy

being completely poor again to get the prize, the american dream

also the orphan inheriting from the Wise Old Man, MUAH an underappreciated trope

the final test and the MOST AUTISTIC MAN I'VE EVER SEEN I LOVE HIM

YES THE MOB SHOULD KILL HIM

a true mob would never be intimidated by force

oh man jeeze that guy is my dad (the autistic one)

THE GAMERS WOULD NEVER BOW TO THE POLICE WTF

MR MAGORIUMS MAGIC EMPORIUM that's what it reminds me of

bro, i will join the punk rock rebellion in a minute, first i have to kiss a girl

oh man H is my fucking fav can i kiss u

technically she's a lesbian in canon but it's purely out of Respect

awwww they created a democratic government for the videogame

"there's no rule against losing a bet to a cheeky kid"

tuesdays and thursdays are for making out with girlfriends

CONCLUSION:

maybe Spielberg movies are for those kids who went to video game unreality when i went to book unreality, it hits the right buttons

#just some #key ideas for you #lmao #ready player one #steven spielberg #silly time #tonight's movie

[gremlintrash]

I don't disagree with what you said, but I don't think it's helpful to just kinda shrug and say "well this is a general problem". I get that you're trying to be conciliatory and again you're not wrong in general. But I do think it applies to bisexuals in a general way. I don't think it's a coincidence that this started with macroclit being called a useless dick rider for needing an abortion, and now the discussion has shifted about how the actually pressing issue here is that bis need to get over their persecution complex (thnx het woman). Now kronkk is vaguing about how macro is "spineless, toothless, refusing to take radical action and taking the easy way out" and everyone is just clapping because of course the dick riders need to put in their place. It's not spineless, toothless, nor taking the easy way out to get an abortion - that sounds literally like conservative rhetoric about abortion. Macro never even blamed lesbians and then it all got shifted to be about bisexuals supposedly blaming lesbians for everything by ppl like kronkk and that lunawitch person, because they see any attempt at discussion about how bisexuals are treated by everyone as inherently lesbophobic. Their accusation itself created that discussion and derailed away. So once again we never got a discussion about why everyone feels emboldened to treat bi women like that, it just got turned into why bihets are horrible spineless dick riders. Just like it did in all those other examples I gave, and why the bi ppl I gave as examples in my other anon were only harassed more.

I agree with you, like macro talking about her OWN experience growing up in religious homophobia got turned into comparing the way lesbians are treated by religious homophobes to the harassment she was getting on radblr, and that she never claimed she was being "persecuted by lesbians" just that some of the women harassing her were lesbians

Like if you want to talk about this specific situation with macroclit, she was a woman who is/has been visibly gnc and was exclusively dating women for most of her life up until recently, she does actual real life activism - and all of that is out the window because she's dating a man now, I fail to see how that is not misogynistic and frankly homophobic as well... As if when she and everyone in her life assumed she was exclusively capable of same sex attraction because that was all she had expressed at that point, the material reality of her life was affected at all by the fact that years in the future she would find out she was indeed bisexual. But then if you apply class politics to individuals without any nuance then I guess the assumption is just that no bisexual person has ever had a "full" or "real" understanding of homophobia.

I do also agree of course that radblr has a particular issue with bisexual women, I guess just don't think there's some magical quality to bisexuals that makes them a more attractive target I just think they've been identified as an acceptable target for misogyny and homophobia because the copes a lot of people have about bisexuals allow them to express comfortably the same bigoted views and behaviors of like actual conservatives while feeling like they don't lose any points for being progressive - which I guess is the point of my whole little essay on the hippocrisy and inconsistency within "leftist" spaces today

I think that the most important point I can make is that certain behaviors need to be unacceptable - because attempting to justify to people why bisexuals (or who the fuck ever) deserve basic respect is a losing battle with people who don't want to examine their internal biases - it's just not okay to be misogynistic or homophobic or even just to l harass strangers for innocuous private choices

All of that being said, I'll be honest, part of my reluctance to argue with people back and forth about this specific situation is that I think the way people are behaving rn is really fucked up honestly, and if I was in a position similar to macro I think i would want privacy and peace > to be a shining example of radblr's hippocrisy\misogyny\ homophobia\biphobia and I feel similarly about the situations my other friends\mutuals like catboy\inosa\(insert other bisexual users harassed off this site) have experienced because I know the way they've been treated has hurt them (but macros in particular is very fresh/recent) maybe that's just my perspective as someone who highly values privacy

It also it doesn't feel good to have women on here, a good portion of whom DO call themselves feminists and claim to be opposed to homophobia repeat the same words and treat me in the same way as the worst male misogynists/homophobes ive encountered irl. Is it worse than when men do it? No, but I don't think its less bad either tbh, per my pinned post. So at a certain point I do just get my fill with being treated badly and want to reblog biden blast memes without being sexually harassed or whatever

[pinene]

my problem with the "sexuality is fluid" crowd as a lesbian who's confident in their sexuality is that it's often weaponized against us in a way that isn't against gay men due to the added factor of misogyny, plus the fact that we're one of the smallest groups in the community. and to a lot of lesbians drawing a clear line is necessary for us to be happy under a patriarchy. it doesn't help that 90% of the time when people insist that sexuality is fluid they have some weird grudge against lesbians being proud in our lack of attraction to men and will use terfs as a "gotcha" against us

This is perhaps unnecessary, but I want to take a moment to thank you for being respectful and taking what I had to say in good faith, while still offering up your perspective. A lot of people have been very quick into making assumptions about what I'm getting at, and now I not only have to defend my initial point, but also deal with points I never made.

Anyway--Everything you said, I entirely agree with. I think I just made a big mistake with that post in not fully acknowledging the broader, heteronormative contexts which make people uncomfortable with things like "sexuality is fluid" "gender is fake"-- because I was writing that post with the mindset of like, I'm on tumblr surrounded by lgbt people and this analysis ONLY exists within that context. I also addressed too many things-- perhaps my indictment of the vagueness of the term "gay man" came across as me implying that nobody really is one, when all I meant was that, these words are just for convenience, and shouldn't be taken as law.

Like, I really hope y'all understand that I ALSO get hot when some guy tries to tell me he thinks everyone is a little bit bisexual, because in that moment, I now have to defend peoples' right to be entirely homosexual in a society that wants nobody to have gay attraction in the first place. This might seem at odds with my post, but in reality, my goal-- both here and there--is to illustrate that people come with all kinds of sexual identities and attractions and levels of fluidity or rigidity, and BASING pride and confidence in certainty--whether what you're certain about is "all people are 100% gay and men are real" or "everyone's a little bit bi and sexuality is inherently fluid"-- will cause you to feel insecure when you encounter someone who feels differently, or if you yourself start to feel differently. EDIT: But we also don't live in a perfect world! And like you said, sometimes you literally HAVE to base your pride in certainty, because uncertainty is weaponized against you. I should've acknowledged that more clearly.

THAT'S all I meant. I just should've chosen my words more carefully. I should've made the post more hypothetical rather than call to action, since we absolutely don't live in a world where we can be that free yet. And yes agreed, we absolutely need to deal with the misogyny before any of this shit. Thank you for your input.

#Also thank you for being a lesbian 🫡

[homunyas]

I just don't understand why we aren't "allowed" to exclude men. How would one express a lack of attraction to men otherwise. They're being fucking ridiculous

I'm convinced they just don't believe us when we say we don't experience any kind of romantic or sexual attraction to men, so they see no issue with coming into our community and saying they're the same as us even though they do like men in those ways, or sometimes even are men themselves. And then getting mad at us for saying they're taking away the one space we have.

They just see us as the mean dyke club who want to exclude people to be petty, like a child's sleepover or something.

They don't get that we need a place for only women/sapphic nbs exclusively attracted to other women/sapphic nbs, because we live in a patriarchal society and we're literally the only group of people who aren't attracted to men. That is our unique experience, and it deserves a space, a label, and to exist like any other.

Life as a lesbian is profoundly lonely as is, nobody gets how it feels to be constantly bombarded with men in every aspect of your life like another lesbian does. Every other group is allowed their own space, because they too have unique experiences and needs that only other members of their group can understand and provide.

There are several spaces for mspec people to find others like them, be it bisexual, pansexual, sapphic, etc., but they're either too caught up in their own internalized biphobia to just use one of those spaces, or they simply respect lesbians so little that they don't think we should have a space of our own.

Even if we made a new label to describe our unique experience of only being attracted to women/sapphic nbs while ourselves being women/sapphic nbs, they would inevitably find some way to paint us in a bad light for it.

But we're not going to do that, because there's simply no reason to. We have a word for our experience, and it's lesbian. I could call myself a "bisexual straight man" all day long and insist that actually "bisexual straight man" means I'm a woman exclusively attracted to women/sapphic nbs, but that wouldn't make me actually a "bisexual straight man", just a lesbian using labels stupidly with no care for the fact that "bisexual straight man" would be offensive to bisexuals.

#txt #Anonymous #lesbophobia

[bisolationist]

I'm so frustrated with that menalez "is solidarity possible between lesbians and bi women" discussion because it acts like the harm is completely one-sided. yeah I know bi women can be homophobic and more privileged but that doesn't mean it's an imagined one-sided problem and all behavior against bi women is fine. After a man that sexually assaulted me started bragging he turned me, everyone took his word for things and lesbians around my campus would passive aggressively 'whisper' things like "eugh it smells like c*m in here" when I walked in the room, or they spray whipped cream in my drinks at a party now while mimicking a dick. Or when I got a girlfriend they shit talked her so much that it made our relationship impossible. Almost more than the assault it made campus unlivable and I had to drop out. And what about the other bi women that see this behavior too, is not just about me. I know this send at least one other woman back in the closet and another into insisting she was a lesbian. Maybe that's cowardly and wrong of her but how can they not see they encourage that with how they act? But they never think this is important lack of solidarity. And is also how many people refuse to even bisexuals have any difficulties or oppression at all. Many say they don't experience homophobia,. Those people are IRL too and in groups and making important choices. GC darling Kathleen Stock was saying not too long ago Bisexuals are only politically relevant when they are in a same-sex relationship. As if our oppression doesn't start before and continue after. I'm sorry for the rant it just makes me sad.

I don't know what discussion you're talking about and frankly I don't want to comment directly on that if it's supposed to be about bi women and lesbians specifically.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, anon. But I'll say that your story is not at all uncommon. I'm honestly kind of stunned because I've also run into the "ew you're going to smell like fish" (this being a crude and misogynist reference to vaginas ofc) from gay men, so that very much brought back some bad memories. I've mentioned it recently, but there's definitely something very weird about how many bisexual people see harassment from gay/lesbian people go SHARPLY up after they deal with a homophobic/biphobic incident from a heterosexual person, and especially if it's sexual assault. It happened to me after my CSA *and* after my mother cut me off, though in different ways. I've talked to a fair number of bi women that were either turned away from "LGB" support groups after a homophobic crime, or else faced ridicule and harassment there so they ended up feeling worse. The pattern seems to be that here's this logic that since bi women can be attracted to men, that homophobic men assaulting them thus isn't an "LGB" related issue. And before anyone puts words in my mouth none of this is to say that gay people oppress us or that they even could oppress us. But I think there's a lot of people eager to twist the knife when hets do. I still can't wrap my head around why there's so much aggression specifically aimed at people that speak openly about SA or homophobic treatment from heterosexuals. At best I can imagine that these people believe in pushing a certain agenda where bisexuals don't live meaningfully different lives than heterosexuals, and thus it's all right to treat them a certain way? So like they react to bisexuals talking about their oppression as a challenge and as a non-oppressed group trying to claim oppression that isn't theirs? Sorry, I'm rambling and speculating at this point. But yeah I'm really sorry you and so many others I've heard from have had similar incidents. I do wish it was something we could address with more respect and an understanding that even if "oppression" isn't in play it's still an extremely traumatic and harmful reaction that compounds the already difficult feelings of sexual assault while being a sexual minority.

#tw sa #tw csa

[scoutpologist]

i see a lot of people refer to raine as sapphic/a lesbian or lumping in raeda with wlw couples (down to marking them as wlw on ao3, despite having the option to mark them as a nonbinary pairing), and while i more than understand the complexities and reasons why someone might be completely separate from womanhood and still identify with those labels (i even id'd as a nb lesbian for fucking ages and have only started to question that label recently), it’s really… strange to me that there’s the immediate assumption that raine would be okay with being sorted into a binary category. just because we might like men or women doesn't mean we suddenly become aligned with man or womanhood ourselves. that’s not how it works!!! at all!!!! it's so fucking weird!!!!

i think there’s this assumption among a lot of people that because nonbinary lesbians/sapphics and nonbinary gay men/achilleans exist, every nonbinary person attracted to women or men is a lesbian or a gay man respectively. but that’s just not true lol? just because those are valid identities doesn’t mean that’s the right word for every nonbinary person. a lot of us would probably consider being labeled like that personally misgendering?? the land of nonbinary identities is literally infinite and treating all nb people who are attracted to a specific gender like they have to be aligned with that gender is weird as fuck???

and yeah on the other hand, there really aren’t agreed-upon words for how we love, especially how we love each other, and when terms do emerge, they’re either considered “cringe” or people just flat out don’t know what it means. what do you call a nonbinary person attracted to women without using binary words? what about to men? to other nonbinary people? we don’t have common language for it yet and it’ll likely take a while before we can fully settle into the words to describe ourselves without linking back to the binary. but i don't know. i don't think it's chill to so flippantly use gendered terms for a nonbinary character.

nonbinary gayness is a very complicated thing that is grounded in very human and cultural aspects. they don't have that in the boiling isles. there's no homophobia or transphobia. there isn't even evidence that the boiling isles has terms differentiating gay and straight and bisexual people, let alone trans people from cis people - the only character to come out as a specific sexuality has been luz, despite the majority of young queer characters being in the demon realm. if the terms of lesbian, sapphic, and wlw exist, i don't like the assumption that raine would identify with them just bc they like women (or at least A woman). it's just weird to me idk!!!

don't take this post like. too too seriously, but i'm just. idk. it's bothering me cause i'm so excited about them and seeing so many people insist on gendering their attraction is annoying to me personally

#op

[l4dyrauhl]

TF is a lesbian leaning bisexual?

I got called a lesbian leaning bisexual yesterday, and it really actually upset me. The person who called me this said it was just a statement because sexuality is a spectrum. They said it doesn't mean I'm not equally attracted to men or women. So, my question is: if it doesn't mean that, why do you keep trying to call me a lesbian leaning bisexual. This has been a running argument that I've played off as a joke for years" "em you definitely like women more than men." I've even gotten it from other men while they are actively trying to hit on me. Like actually no I don't, but you're not doing well for yourself right now. I feel like you are just saying things to say things. They said my track record with women is more extensive than men. This is untrue. I have talked to way more men than women. Additionally, I've been in a long term relationship with a man. That relationship took up most of my early adult years. I have been single since then. I don't go on dates with either. I don't really speak to either. Because in my heart, I would love to be able to date someone, but I feel like I'm not in the best place to date (more on this later). They said they know me, and that's why they can make this distinction. Sure, you may know me, but I AM ME. You can't tell me what my sexuality is. This is a huge problem in our society. It doesn't really matter what you have observed, you cannot place your labels on other people. You can continue to have those thoughts all you want because it's your brain, but trying to tell me? That's insane. I let it roll off my shoulder, but things like this really make me uncomfortable. They make me feel like I'm not actually accepted which is why i clung onto my friendship with Koi for so long. I could actually be myself without someone trying to put me in a box because she understood. Did I mention this was a straight person? Not in the queer community by any means other than under the guise of being an ally. How does this treatment make you an ally? There was another time when we made a tiktok with our friends to ask the audience who "looks queer" or who "looks straight". A little jokey joke, but nothing major. This person told me that the felt like everyone would know that they are straight because the rest of use look queer. Like they were obsessed with this notion. It's crazy because the one comment guessing who was the straight one did not mention her. Which proves my exact point. Mind you I really love this person, and I understand that they meant no harm, but if I am telling you something I need you to respect it. Sexuality is definitely a spectrum, but I don't think we need to make up sub spectrums and new words to help us to be more comfortable with people around us by putting them into our respective categories and boxes. People just be gay sometimes. That's it and that's that.

#bisexual #gay #lgbt #conflict with friends #ally

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi! i sent in an ask awhile ago about lgbtq struggles and im just now getting around to asking about it i hope thats ok! no tws

so my issue is that i think i might be genderfluid because i keep having phases where i feel masc and then i feel fem and each time i just. hadnt thought "oh i might actually be genderfluid" and i just thought my gender like, changed? for good? like i thought i realised i was trans when i was masc for about a year or longer. so i came out n told people to use he him pronouns for me but just recently ive felt like a girl and at first it was really hard to accept because i didnt want to let go of my transness because i had identified with it for so long. but i guess i sorta dont even have to let it go all the way? because i dont feel female or like strictly a girl, id label myself genderfae right now. but anyways, my problem is that everytime i have a phase of feeling like a different gender it feels so permanent. and right now, i just feel so comfortable in my sapphic genderfae identity and i really dont want it to change again. do you know if this is actually a genderfluid experience or if i was just figuring myself out until now? or do you have any advice or tips? anything would be appreciated.

im so sorry, this is the maybe-genderfluid anon again, i forgot to add something to my ask! yk how i said that i felt sapphic and genderfae currently? what i really mean by that is that i feel like a lesbian. i cant see myself being with a man or being a man too, for that matter. but im scared that that's gonna change sometime. i dont know if it would be right for me to identify as a lesbian given my history of genderfluidity and the fact that it feels permanent each time it happens - like now, sure it FEELS permanent but i dont actually know that it is. i want it to be, but i dont know. im very confused. sorry for the second ask but thats probably the main problem. thank u in advance!

Hi anon,

Like I said in this ask, I think it's important to consider that on some level, identity always changes over time, even for people who identify as cis their entire life. There is no pressure to label yourself and your gender, as it can often be a very complex and fluid concept that may be hard to put any one label on, and that's okay. It's also important to consider that identity, including gender, can change over time, and that's okay too. Just because you no longer resonate with being trans or masc doesn't necessarily mean you were never either of these things. Discovering ourselves is an ongoing process. However, it's also perfectly valid to find comfort in labeling or naming your own experiences.

Part of discovering and finding ways to describe yourself sometimes involves experimenting with labels. I think of it as going to a clothing store and trying on different clothes. Some might be too bright, dark, big, small, and some might be passable for a little while until it just doesn't look right and you go shopping for more clothes, and all of that is okay. I think there's a lot of stigma that comes with trying to experiment with labels and find one that describes you accurately, because society tends to have a hard time respecting a change in identity. Sometimes this can influence the struggle to make these changes publicly.

While in the grand scheme of things your identity may shift various times, I think it's very natural and common to resonate with the gender you currently identify with so strongly that it feels permanent. I can understand how frustrating or confusing it might be to feel so sure that this is a permanent identity, only for it to shift over time. But I think it's worth considering that no identity has to be permanent, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a loss or disappointment if or when it eventually changes.

The way I see it is, if you identify as a lesbian now and in the future you find that you're attracted to men, that's okay. I think it's still fair to say that at one point you were a lesbian, etc. Like I said, discovering yourself is an ongoing process. However you want to identify, as long as it is in good faith (doesn't do harm), is valid. It's ultimately up to you to describe yourself and your identity, as you know yourself best.

I hope I could help, and know that we're here if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #genderfluid #sapphic #genderfae

[firecooking]

Z Stack polycule? Explain more please

Oh my God welcome to my BRAIN ROT get ready for a ride, I'm writing this in terms of my human au but its translates to what i think about cannon too, the meat of this is going under a read more but

TL;DR: All of the Z stacks have a complicated relationship with each other and while they would take a bullet for anyone else their relationships vary wildly from deep unbreakable bonds to literally would rather see the person get shot [also implied physical content but nothing in detail beyond "it exists"]

Also I'm not including Captain Zero or Zaffre here. Zero is pretty much removed from this and his relationship with all his tugs is very complex but even at its worst I see him as a mostly parental figure towards his tugs. And Zaffre is lesbian af and I've talked about her feelings towards the others before [tho not as in depth]

ZORRAN <--> ZEBEDEE

Zorran and Zebedee have a very close and complicated relationship, even if Zorran can be pissy and annoyed with Zeb [ie, calling him a creep, picking on him for being sensitive] they have a 'warriors bond' from years of dealing with Zero [the 'bad' years], the law, and the rapidly changing harbour. Zorran understand that Zebedee is a complicated guy with a very soft heart as much as Zebedee knows Zorran is an unwavering leader with a strict moral compass and a compassion for those around him, they admire that about each other.

There relationship isn't based in physical attraction but it can go in that direction when they are bored and looking.

ZORRAN <--> ZAK

They have an incredibly close relationship, they just get each other on a deep level. They confide in one another and will always be open and honest when in need. Zorran loves Zak's brash way of moving around the world and Zak loves Zorran's drive for success and perfection. They have romantic interest in each other but don't act on it, Zorran knows Zak won't be the settled down man he wants, Zak knows Zorran wouldn't be able to keep up with his dangerous lifestyle. But that also doesn't stop them from being intimate or living in the moment.

ZORRAN <--> ZUG

Zorran and Zug get along well and work together well, but Zorran isn't so interested in spending time with someone who reminds him of a snivelling worm and Zug, while intimidated by Zorran, doesn't think Zorran is all that interesting. But they will still play cards and share a drink after work, or help each other out. Zorran takes care of his men, and Zug is loyal to those he respects. They CAN get on each other's nerves easily, and Zug's work ethic and lack of spine can irritate Zorran quickly, but there are never hard feelings.

ZORRAN <--> ZIP

Zorran doesn't often show it, but he likes Zip even if he doesn't always get results from him. Zip, like Zug, is very intimidated by Zorran but he does look up to him and wants to make him proud. The two work well together when it's one on one, Zorran has high standards but he can see that Zip is young yet, he may be an airhead forever but he's got room to learn and needs guidance. Zip understands that Zorran is doing his best to try and take care of everyone, and doesn't hold any hard feelings when Zorran gets irritable. Zip has a lot more emotional intelligence than others in the fleet, which makes him valuable to Zorran as an ally even if it's not conventional. Zip's innocence and kindness, even if not traditional Z stack behavior, isn't something Zorran would ever want him to change.

I really like that in the show Zorran has very quiet moments when on screen where he talks more casually or quippy and off cuff. In those moments he can sound very similar to Zip which makes me think he might see himself in Zip. It's just a nice thought.

ZEBEDEE <--> ZAK

These two can bicker with the best of them but at the end of the day they've been around each other for years and have grown almost as close to each other as they individually have with Zorran. Zak can get annoyed with Zebedee and pick on him because of Zeb's inner feelings and 'softness', but wouldn't want the other to change. Similarly Zeb can get frustrated with Zaks tuff guy's brash attitude and strong headedness but can't stay mad for long. They'll never turn down spending time together and they definitely can get handsy and intimate whenever. It's just casual fun to them.

ZEBEDEE <--> ZUG

Zebedee doesn't have many strong opinions about Zug, but Zug likes to talk big game about Zebedee and how the other needs to be less of a softie. However Zug has the backbone of an eau clair and Zebedee really doesn't put any merit into what Zig says. They don't make any effort to make friends with each other but also won't actively avoid each other. Mutual amicable nods and existence is the usual with these two.

ZEBEDEE <--> ZIP

ZAK <--> ZUG

These two get along on a cosmic level. They are cut from the same cloth and share a lot of the same world views. Zebedee is very repressed in how he feels nowadays, but he admires how Zip moves around his world with a smile. And Zip doesn't feel as intimidated or afraid to be himself around Zebedee. They don't inherently try and spend time together but they very rarely fight or annoy each other, and always have a great time when they do get together. They are also just fond of each other in more intimate ideals, however Zeb doesn't really think Zip is mature enough for anything yet and Zip is well aware that he is having strong feelings because any and all feelings are new to him, maybe in a few more years.

ZAK <--> ZIP

Like Zip and Zeb, these two are cut from the same cloth. They just get each other. They've been fast friends from day one and bicker and joke and play around with ease. Often times when one of them is out doing something stupid the other is right behind or actively on the scene. They don't really have a strong romantic interest in each other, but they will do anything for the other and have a strong intimate relationship. There have been times they've talked about setting down with each other from their high stakes stupidity, but it'll be at least another decade or two before they stop causing problems and decide to calm down and start something serious. And one of them will probably be dead before that happens.

Zip is utterly afraid of Zak. He tries to be nice to Zak and just be friendly but Zak makes him deeply uncomfortable. Zak cannot stand how Zip acts and relentlessly picks on Zip. Give them a few more years and Zip will probably stop caring and that'll finally be when Zak starts to respect him but for now Zak would gladly push Zip off a bridge and Zip would let Zak get stabbed in a bar fight because he didn't want to bother Zak. Nothing between these two is ever just amicable.

ZUG <--> ZIP

These two bring out the worst in each other and they both love it. Zip DANM well knows that Zug has horrible ideas because of ego and drags him along. Zug DANM well knows that Zip is too friendly and naive to not fuck up basic tasks. That does not stop these two from rolling with the punches and causing problems on purpose or 'yes and'ing each other until disaster strikes. They are the best of pals most of the time, and their bickering is mostly in good fun. They don't have any real further attractions to each other beyond being good friends, they find nothing about each other appealing besides pretty normal friend things. These two are happiest when they are going with the flow and bouncing off each other, anything more formal and it falls apart for them. When Zip gets a little more sure of himself their dynamic may change but for now they are just Bros.

#the fire burns #this is tugs #z stacks #tugs zebedee #tugs zorran #tugs zip #tugs zak #tugs zug #tugs humanized

[redheadbigshoes]

Hello! I have a question about the term "comphet" that you seem qualified to be able to answer.

Would it be misusing "comphet" to use it to talk about the gay male experience? From what I have learned, it's a term describing how society wants lesbians (& gays?) to be attracted to the other binary gender and how we can internalize that. However I have also seen some lesbians say that comphet is a lesbian-exclusive experience and I want to respect that if that is the community consensus.

I am a trans guy and before coming out I would almost "try" to be attracted to women. For a while I identified as lesbian, then bi, until I realized I was actually trans and gay. Can I use "comphet" to talk about this or should I find a different word? Thank you!

Hi! Comphet is short for compulsory heterosexuality, and it’s very connected with misogyny and how society forces women to be attracted to men, which when it comes to men being influenced to be attracted to women it’s different considering they’re not victims of misogyny and patriarchy.

When gays are influenced (or maybe even forced) to be attracted to women, that experience is not connected with the fact that they’re victims of misogyny like when it comes to lesbians. It’s connected with heteronormativity.

I think it’s way different the way women are influenced and forced to like men comparing with men being influenced and forced to like women. Society connects a lot womanhood around men and centering men in women’s lives, men are not really raised to center women in their lives.

Even though the victims of comphet are lesbians (and I’d also say strictly aroace women) because it’s an experience that describes our struggles understanding whether we actually like men (and center them in our lives) from just going with what we were taught to be and do, there’s also other people who’re indirectly affected by comphet like bi sapphics and even straight women. Because even though they’re attracted to men a lot of them still struggle to decenter men from their lives and a lot of them think ending up with a guy it’s inevitable, that they’re worth less if they’re not in a relationship with a guy.

I think your experience is probably more correctly described with the term heteronormativity. That maybe you tried forcing yourself to be into women as a man because that’s what society tells us is the norm and the right relationship, a m/f one.

#stephanie answers #anon #long post