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#like as soon as I -killed- ardyn in the citadel it’s been non stop tears
iida-dori · 3 years
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Why does the ending of FFXV have to be Like That I’ve been sobbing for TWENTY MINUTES STRAIGHT
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secret-engima · 4 years
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How would it go if certain people (who is up to you) found out that Ardyn and Nox are from a future that went so completely to shit that there are no words to describe it, that Nox is actually Noctis, who's so happy and bubbly that they can't quite imagine what happened to make him like that. A few of Nox's traits and quirks would definitely make more sense though, as would some of Ardyn's.
Hmmmm hmmm ohhhhh this is- hmmmmm. Okay heads up NONE of this is considered canon atm for Nox but if anyone found out it would be Cid, Weskham, and like- Prompto (this may change, depending on how much I feel like making Nox suffer, but for now these are non-canon).
-For Cid- he’d find out that Nox was from the future when he accidentally walked in on Nox sharpening his Ultima Blade. Now- Cid might not be THE most observant person, but he knows his own handiwork like its a part of his soul and THAT SWORD, that sword that looks like its been dragged through the depths of the abyss and back, that sword that Nox cradles like its his child as he polishes and sharpens the blade-
-That is his handiwork. His blade. His tweaks and mods and balances and bits of flare to the point he could already tell you every step he went through to make it.
-He’s never seen that sword before in his life.
-Or ... not this life.
-Nox looks up at him with too-old eyes and a weary, frightened face, “I ... I can explain.”
-Cid stares, stares at the face of Reggie’s eldest and can hear the unspoken I really, really don’t want to and knows that what he is going to hear is going to break him even more than losing Mid and Melba.
-He’s right.
-Nox doesn’t tell him much, tries so HARD to keep the final pieces from clicking, but Cid is no fool and he can hear the gaps.
-The gaps that Nox is NOCTIS. Reggie’s little bright eyed boy. That Nox was the Chosen King and that everything went to the pyre when he was just a newly turned adult. That whatever happened between him and the Accursed (the way Nox uses the title only and no names makes Cid think of Ardyn’s own bitter declaration of past abuse toward his nephew and feel cold) ... broke him.
-Then Nox tells him, honest and quiet, that he died. Nox, this boy, this child Cid has helped raise and helped put back together (yet not a child at all, if what Nox is saying is true, and it is) went and died so that the world would be saved, even though there was so little left TO save at that point and then ... woke up. Younger and different and here.
-And he doesn’t want to believe it, except despite the inherent insanity of the story it MAKES SENSE. All of Nox’s odd “similarities” with Noctis, the secrets and the way Nox stares at Reggie like Reggie is a ghost come back to life.
-The blade that started this entire confrontation.
-Cid has no words to explain what he feels in that moment, looking at the fragile, sharp-edged remains of what could have been (hopefully will never again be) Noctis’s future. He just pulls the boy close and doesn’t let go for a long time.
...
-For Weskham, he puts the pieces together because he is both smart, openminded and ... something of an outside observer. He meets Noctis and Nox at the same time, with fewer preconceptions, and notices the oddities. The similarities that go deeper than “oh just like their father” or “what a coincidence” and instead go screaming off the edge into creepy.
-They like the same foods and hate the same foods, though Nox is better at being mature and eating it anyway. They have many of the same tells in the way they blink, or look away, or rub the backs of their necks. He hears of the marilith attack and through various accidental circumstances happens to see their scars.
-Nox and Noctis have identical scars on their backs, though Noctis’s far more faded and small, and Weskham has this- moment where he thinks of the identical scars and the story of how Nox heard “rumors” and rushed headlong to defend family he supposedly didn’t even know, from an attack that “just happened” to be identical to one he had suffered around Noctis’s age and something inside him goes OH.
-He watches for a long time and tells no one, and while he can’t fathom why he’s indulging the theory it ... makes sense. The tells, the similarities, the face shapes. He imagines Nox with short hair and almost creeps himself out with how identical Noctis and Nox would look if the elder did not have his long hair and earrings and was a few years younger.
-He already knows magic can do many impossible things. Both good and bad. So he keeps the impossible theory to himself, nursing it and compiling more and more little bits of evidence in his head, never intending to SAY anything until he stumbles across Nox during a Quiet Day, watching the world with too-old eyes and blurts, “How did it end?”
-Nox looks at him slowly, like Weskham’s only a dream, “What?”
-Weskham doesn’t like the dead look in Nox’s eyes, not when he mentally compares it to little, cheerful, bright-eyed Noctis and wonders what could have possibly destroyed him and remade him into Nox in just a few short years, “Whatever sent you back. How did it end?”
-Nox stares at him with knowledge old and terrible, then laughs, rusty and slightly unhinged, “Father died. Clarus died. Luna -the Oracle- died. Insomnia burned and the world soon followed. The night devoured the day and the daemons roamed unchecked, people died in droves while I SLEPT in Crystal and when I woke up all I could do was say goodbye to my brothers one last time and then let the Old Kings kill me so that whoever was left would at least have a dawn by which to rebuild the civilization of the world. And then I woke up.” Nox faltered, swallowed hard, “I woke up, and I’ve been wondering why ever since.”
-Weskham breathes past the knife-sharp feeling in his throat, the horrible memories of WAR he can see reflected in Nox’s eyes.
-He manages to walk away without stumbling by sheer dint of will. Collapses in his suite to shake in a chair and wish he had never noticed, never asked. Never known.
...
-For Prompto, the biggest clue was their first meeting. When he was crying over his camera and Nox was desperate to cheer him and babbled and called him “Prom” as warm and loving and familiar as if they were family and not a little crying boy and a nice stranger on the street.
-He never forgot that meeting. Never really believed Nox’s excuse of memorizing who Noctis’s classmates where.
-Nox is weird. Nox is ... really weird. Always has been. But that’s okay, because he’s Nox, he’s Noctis’s big brother and kinda Prompto’s big brother after Cor adopted him so ... so it’s okay.
-Except for the time it isn’t.
-Except for the time Prompto makes the mistake of binging way too many sci-fi shows in one sitting and then spots Nox and Noctis together and notices how similar their voices were now that Noctis wasn’t a little kid, how they wrinkle their nose in the same way when they’re baffled and- and-
-It’s a really dumb idea okay? He gets that, he KNOWS that. Except ... it makes a lot of sense too. The more he thinks about it, the harder he shoves the preconception of “of COURSE they’re two different people” in a little box, the more he realizes it MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE.
-Nox’s habits, his ticks, the way he KNOWS Noctis and Ignis and Gladio and Prompto. The way he looks at them sometimes like they’re fragile glass pictures that are going to shatter. The way Axis has said once that he wasn’t Nox’s FIRST Shield, but that Nox’s original Shield was gone-.
-Prompto maybe spends the next week hyperventilating in his room when no one is looking and trying very hard to NOT blurt out the question “are you a time traveller” whenever he sees Nox.
-Eventually he can’t resist, eventually he tests. Runs up and slaps Nox on the shoulder with a friendly, “Yo, Noctis!” when they’re both alone in a hallway of the Citadel and something in his stomach drops out when Nox doesn’t go “huh?” but instead just chuckles and goes, “Hi Prom,” before Nox FREEZES.
-Its the freeze that really sells it in Prompto’s mind, the look of confusion and devastation on Nox (NOCTIS’S) face that makes him instantly regret trying anything. Prompto babbles something about tongue slip and meaning Nox, OBVIOUSLY, because OBVIOUSLY they were two different people, being brothers and all and seven years apart and-
-And there is something so very sad in Nox’s eyes as he murmurs, “You always were a bad liar, Prom.”
-Oh. Oh dear. Prompto swallows and hunches in on himself without thinking, “So ... I was right then.”
-Nox nods slowly and the silence is ... awkward. Tense. Filled with something Prompto can’t name or describe and suddenly he’s apologizing. He’s apologizing and almost in tears and when Nox, baffled and alarmed, asks why-
-“I don’t remember you. You look at us and you remember, and we’re your brothers and we PROMISED ‘ever at your side’ but I don’t REMEMBER you and Iggy and Gladio don’t even know-.” He stops, he sniffles and another horrible thought comes to him and since today is the day for turning off his brain to mouth filter apparently he whispers, “Did we die? Is- is that why we didn’t come with you to the past?”
-Nox takes a shaky breath and runs it through his hair, “No-, no you all- you all lived. As far as I know. Up until the point I ... came back, you were all alive and ... well. Just a little banged up, but okay.” Nox (Noctis, a broken Noctis, a Noctis from a future that had to have been horrible because Prompto’s SEEN some of the scars and he doesn’t want to think about that-) blinks wet eyes and suddenly blurts, “Don’t tell anyone. Please? Especially not- especially not the others.”
-Prompto nods, because of course, he’s not an idiot and he doesn’t think they’d believe him anyway. Nox coughs awkwardly in his throat and starts to walk away with hunched shoulders and Prompto will never know why he opened his big mouth again or why, of all things, he chooses to say, “Yo, Nox?”
-Nox (not Noctis, because they ARE two different people now and Prompto prays it stays that way) blinks over his shoulder and Prompto musters up his biggest grin as he blurts, “Thanks, you know? For ... everything. You’ve really Walked Tall.” He doesn’t know what those words mean, or why he chose “walked tall” of all things but he knows in a second his words MEAN something more than he can ever comprehend because Nox’s eyes go wide-
-And suddenly Nox is hugging Prompto. Clinging to him like he’s an anchor in a storm and all Prompto can do is hug back as fiercely as he can while tears drip onto his shirt, and Nox shakes like he’s about to fall apart and somewhere in the harsh breathing of the time-traveler-brother-friend in his arms, Prompto could swear he hears Nox whisper, “I miss you so much, Prom- I can’t-,” but then Nox goes silent, and astrals Prompto’s crying too, because he always was a crybaby and something inside him hurts in a way that makes it hard to breathe (is this what Nox was feeling? Is this what he felt those days he looked at them with too-old eyes? No wonder he always left the room, Prompto wants to scream already and Nox has felt this for years-).
-Nox pulls away, rests his forehead on Prompto’s for just a second and it feels like a thank you.
-It feels like a goodbye. But not to him. It’s a goodbye to the weight falling off Prompto’s shoulders, like hands letting go as a shadow fades away.
-Nox retreats, disappears around the corner without a word and with a too-bright-too-old look that means Prompto’s set off a Quiet Day and Prompto-
-Prompto goes back to his room and hugs his old chocobo plush tight. He’s not in the mood to go play video games with the others right now.
-Days later Nox finds him again and wordlessly, gently, passes him a leather-bound book. A memento, Nox calls it sadly, I’ll want it back when you’re done, he murmurs before slinking away.
-Prompto hides it where even Cor wouldn’t think to look because he doesn’t dare put it in armiger (the armiger Noctis gave him, the armiger Noctis might find it in accidentally). He hides himself under his covers like he’s a little kid again, holds his flashlight tight in one hand and his chocobo plush under his other arm as he flips it open and sees-
-Photos. His photos. His style, with all of them (Ignis, Noctis, Gladio, himself) in them. He doesn’t know the context for them but- it’s a journey. It’s a roadtrip in film and Prompto spends hours carefully flipping through each page, staring at snapshots of battles not fought and fishing holes not visited and silly moments not laughed at anymore. It’s Nox’s life in a nutshell, Prompto thinks as he looks through photos taken in dark dungeons and sunlit deserts. Injuries and health, insomnia and energetic smiles. The last photo is of them, on a campground he recognizes. It’s the one just outside Insomnia, where you can see the bridge leading to the island and the lighting is usually amazing. This one is at night, and they all look older, thirty or more whereas in the others they are only twenty or so. Noctis- Nox, is in the center, smiling with the soft, sad eyes that Prompto remembers from that first meeting, Gladio looming behind him and Ignis at his side with a visor that doesn’t hide the scars on his face. In the middle, one arm slung over Ignis’s shoulders and the other over Nox’s like he can KEEP them there, forever safe and happy if he just holds on tight enough, is himself.
-There are no other photos.
-Prompto doesn’t need to be told why.
-He returns the book to Nox the next day, and refuses to acknowledge Noctis’s puzzled look when he hugs Nox tight and doesn’t mind when Nox hugs him back. Then Prompto smiles, because that’s his job in the group, to be the one who smiles when things are dark, and he drags Nox over to play Kings Knight with the four of them. And maybe things aren’t perfect, because now Prompto KNOWS and he can never un-know, but things are better. Because Nox is here, and Nox fixed things, and Nox is never going to let Noctis become him, so Prompto doesn’t have to worry about that and can instead focus on keeping both of his kings smiling and laughing and happy.
-He can hold on, and this time, no blood or road trip or daemon-infested future will be able to make him let go.
(hgfdhg congrats I just made myself cry. Everyone suffer with me. @wolfsrainrules @hamelin-born @ean-sovukau @rayearthdudette @sparklecryptid COME SUFFER WITH ME.)
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