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#like at school follies he has the idea to do the band to save the school
remynisce · 3 years
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🍂🍁🍂
#it’s autumn which means that I just finished watching otgw again and oh man I know everyone says how a good show it is but like#it really does have such a great ending#the last three episodes are my favorite by far. the rest of the show is charming and all but eps 8-10#we’re written flawlessly imo#were*#I never seemed to notice before how much Greg really ends up saving the day at the end most of the time huh#like at school follies he has the idea to do the band to save the school#and in ep one he figures out that his candy trail led the ‘’beast’’ to him all by himself#and then he noticed the candy in wirts jacket and threw it into the big… grinding… thing#at the side of the barn#anyways uhhh Greg is smart! I really like that about his character like he isn’t just there to be the annoying younger silly sibling#he actually gets to be the hero sometimes! and I really care him for that :)#also another funny thing that I noticed just now after rewatching it#the first time I watched otgw and I saw episode 9 I mostly identified with Wirt and didn’t seem to understand that people liked him#like I thought they were all making fun of him (because I was in a bad place where my social skills were at an all time low)#but like now watching in hindsight it’s so clear that every tease there is towards Wirt made by his friends is in good humor and that they#all clearly like him. like even Jason funderberker doesn’t seem to notice that Wirt has like a one sided rivalry with him#and I now realize that I was in wirt’s place where I thought all my friends made fun of me behind my back but like. no they were all just#joking around#it was good natured and they never resented me secretly lmao so that was an interesting discovery#anyway#I really like this show I probably will post fanart of it more often#if you haven’t somehow please watch it it’s like about an hour long and the ending is very satisfying#anyways those are my otgw thoughts thanks for coming will see you next time bye#otgw#over the garden wall#rem talks#text heavy /
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beatrice-otter · 5 years
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AU Plot Bunny: Peter Grant raised at the Folly.
CN: canon-typical sexual assualt a la Moon Over Soho
It started with a premise.  I had been thinking up possible AUs, and one of them was "Peter Grant was raised in the Folly" and then I realized that you could actually make it work with a minimum of canon alterations.  All you really have to fudge is when, exactly, Simone tried to seduce Richard Grant, and whether or not she succeeded.
So. In 1987, Thomas Nightingale goes to listen to a jazz band play.  It's not something he does that often, and it is very different from the music of his youth, but modern jazz is still the closest to familiar he can get without going to the symphony.  And it's a good band.  But while he's there, he notices something ... odd.  The lead player, a really great trumpet player named Richard "Lord" Grant, gets approached by a groupie.  And she's ... very magnetic, in a focused way.  It's almost like a glamour, but it's very different from the glamour of a River or any other fae he's met.  Thomas doesn't think much of it; he tells her to tone it down, but she doesn't seem to understand, and he's not sure if it really is a glamour, and it's not like Thomas has a modern understanding of things like being roofied or date rape, and he's got all that early 20th Century socialization about gender roles and sexuality so that it doesn't occur to him that a woman can rape a man.  And SOP for dealing with people glamoured by the Rivers has always been to disapprove but not do anything about it because it wears off.
So he doesn't stop the groupie from going home with Richard, and when Richard's pregnant wife Rose makes a scene, Thomas tries to comfort her afterwards with "well, it'll probably only be temporary."  She doesn't find this AT ALL comforting, and while he thinks that a white man turning to a white woman when his black wife gets pregnant is tragic, it is sadly the sort of thing one might expect.  Rose insists that it's not like her husband at all; Thomas internally sighs and discounts it.
Then a week later Rose Grant shows up in Russell Square and insists that he Do Something.  She knows her husband has been put under some sort of spell, and she knows he's a policeman, and she knows he knows SOMETHING at least about "witches" because she saw him talk to Simone about it, and he still isn't sure it's really his case, but most glamours would have worn off by this point, so he goes and investigates.  And during the investigation, three things happen: first, he offers Rose a room because she's been couch-surfing with relatives since Richard threw her out in favor of Simone and Thomas is too chivalrous to like the thought of a pregnant woman sleeping on couches and he's got a huge house with lots of bedrooms and Molly insisted.  Second, he discovers what Simone and her sisters are.  Third, he doesn't figure it out in time to save Richard, who dies of a stroke.
Thomas feels terribly guilty because if he'd intervened at the start Richard would not have died and Rose wouldn't have lost her husband and the father of her unborn son.   And Molly likes Rose, and Thomas is happy that Molly is happy and has company.  So he lets Rose stay.  And then little Peter, when he's born. Rose is just as pragmatic and hard-headed in this life, but having free room-and-board gives her a bit of space financially, and she's able to get the British-style qualifications she needs to go back to being a librarian, instead of having to take cleaning jobs because she needs the money.  (Also, Rose is not shy about getting Thomas to get Postmartin to pull any strings she needs.  A recommendation from an Oxford professor and librarian goes a long way.)
Molly loves having another woman there, and likes Peter well enough, and Thomas is sort of an uncle-figure, and the old-wizard-grapevine is just sure Rose is Thomas' mistress, which annoys them both and embarrasses Thomas.  (He wouldn't take that kind of advantage; she may have forgiven him for the negligence that led to Richard's death, but she sure hasn't forgotten it.)
Peter grew up with magic, and begged his mum and Thomas to let him learn.   (He also grew up playing a lot with Mama Thames' daughters.)  Rose thinks it's good for him to have at least enough skill to recognize and resist glamours and the like, and so she thinks it's a great idea, but she is REALLY DRACONIAN on enforcing limits on practicing.   bb!Peter might defy Thomas, but he is not stupid enough to disobey his Mum's strictures.
As for Peter's career in this universe, I'm not sure.  I think the two choices would be a) either he became an architect because he had a better school in this universe and thus passed all the A-levels he needed, or if b) he decided to be a magic copper like Uncle Thomas right out of the get-go and so went straight to Hendon instead of doing odd-jobs-whatever-he-did between school and Hendon.
In the first scenario, I think Thomas might have been spurred into finding other apprentices by the experience of teaching Peter, so he would have other cops.  In the second, well, Peter and Lesley wouldn't have been classmates at Hendon.  Peter would have been a DC and possibly a sergeant by the time she graduated.  Instead of him looking up to her, he would be the experienced authority.  Which would change that whole relationship there in really fascinating ways.
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schradioactive · 5 years
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Last week I met a remarkable 75-year-old folk artist who began painting childhood memories at age 60 after an adulthood of 9-to-5. Upon retirement, he declared a room at home “the time machine” and now goes there often to revisit the past. Recurring themes include his loyal dog Cracker, kids playing outside, and the folly of segregation. A quiet success, he has sold 1,500 paintings. What an inspiration! If I follow his example and illustrate childhood memories years from now, I might attempt renderings of my first band, Painted Train, because I remember that 1987-88 rock juggernaut like yesterday. There’s just something memorable about kids with an idea and no sense of anything ever getting in the way. Rule the world with instruments we can hardly play and songs we haven’t written? No problem. It began in summer 1986 when my friend Craig and I saved up lawn mowing money. By Christmas, we had instruments and were ready for inevitable fame. We had band names and song titles but nothing to back them up. Then Craig met another kid named David who played guitar better than both of us combined. We convened at Mr. Gatti’s in March and deemed ourselves a band. By June, we’d blown our own minds with covers of “My Girl” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” All that without a drummer. In short order, our friend Jim caught the vision, bought a drum kit, and that same day brought it to where Craig, David and I awaited. None of us knew how to play the drums. Again, no problem. We winged it and spent our freshman year writing meaningless songs (“Night All Day”) and learning age-appropriate hits of the era, like The Godfathers’ “Birth, School, Work, Death.” By summer 1988 our first gig beckoned. My sister’s friend was having a pool party—and there’s no better soundtrack for that teen scene than Painted Train. We padded our repertoire with hot takes on The Clash, Billy Bragg, The Smithereens, and God knows what else; my memory isn’t all that. I do remember we made $100 but spent $75 to rent a PA system. Shockingly, no media covered the show, and Painted Train derailed several months later. Girls, athletics and future bands would take its place, but the memories—and a decaying collection of epic home recordings done on my sweet dual cassette stereo—remain.
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larryrickard · 4 years
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lets get personal.
i know this is supposed to be an ask meme but i’m fucking bored & no one ever sends me them, so.  also i’m kinda pissy rn unfortunately so forgive pls some of my answers lol
01: 6 of the songs you listen to most?:  idk.  mostly i listen to everything on random anymore, and only in my car.  the only song i’ve listened to on repeat recently has been ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga. 02: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?:  speaking of which, lady gaga. 03: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.:  the only book near me would be all the books, as in my bookshelf.  unless you count my kindle, in which case there would be no line 17 because of the font size.  sorry. 04: What do you think about most?:  idk.  whatever my current obsession is i guess. 05: What does your latest text message from someone else say?:  “And you don't have to cook it”. 06: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?:  with.  i don’t like being naked and don’t understand those who do.  also i get cold. 07: What’s your strangest talent?:  i don’t have talents. 08: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence):  are soft and beautiful.  meh, have to earn my trust. 09: Ever had a poem or song written about you?:  a song, yes. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?:  a very long time.  it’s not a thing i ever do lol. 11: Do you have any strange phobias?:  i don’t think so.  my phobias are pretty standard. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?:  when i was a kid, yeah.  plenty.  once my parents had to hold me down and tweeze a chewed up wad of juicy fruit out of my nose.  i fucking love the smell of that gum.  three year old me may have been stupid but, hey.  i was being economical.  also i blame it on my parents for, you know, giving a fucking toddler some gum. 13: What’s your religion?:  don’t have one.  former christian, which is gross.  don’t indoctrinate children, please and thanks. 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?:  walking to or from my car.  that’s about it.  :/ 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?:  behind.  no one deserves to see my face.  rip to everyone who sees me in person on a regular basis. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?:  jars of clay, jimmy eat world, the elms. 17: What was the last lie you told?:  that i’m not in debt lmao.  the only time i’ve lied to my psychiatrist :/ 18: Do you believe in karma?:  no but sometimes i wish i did.  so many people deserve their comeuppance. 19: What does your URL mean?:  doesn’t really mean anything, he’s a character from the flash. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?:  all sorts of things?  and idk. 21: Who is your celebrity crush?:  lady gaga, angelina jolie, carlos valdes, idk if shane madej is a ‘celebrity’ but him, brie larson, michael sheen... idk, i don’t really have “crushes” but those are the first ppl to come to mind. 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?:  nope.  and no thank you. 23: How do you vent your anger?:  lol. 24: Do you have a collection of anything?:  funko pops?  but not seriously.  i mean.  i have a lot of them bc i love a lot of characters and there are some pretty fuckin dope funkos.  but it’s not my goal in life to have a huge collection or anything.  at least i can say i have less than a hundred of them lol.  (less than 75.) 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?:  ew, neither.  but if i had to choose, phone.  bc, you know.  my face. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?:  lmfao no.  i mean, i’m better than the person i used to be, that’s for sure.  (see:  indoctrinated as a child, including your typical conservative bullshit like racism for starters.) 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?:  so many.  i have misophonia.  and people chewing + mouth sounds is definitely a big one.  love?  idk???  music?  rain?  my cat’s cute lil meow? 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?:  what if my thyroid issues were discovered earlier on instead of a year or more after they started.  my childhood doctor was Not Great.  it took her two weeks to figure out i had a sinus infection.  i was in the fourth grade.  still bitter about both of those. 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?:  no, ghosts aren’t real.  aliens yes.  not the stereotypical ones, but in a “given the size of the universe it’s literally impossible that we’re the only life out there” way. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.:  right, the cat.  left, air. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?:  nothing?  it’s my house/room, so to me it smells like nothing. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?:  uh... i’ve no idea? 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?:  west, obviously. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?:  no such thing as ‘opposite’ gender.  of a different gender, though?  lady gaga. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?:  who the fucking fuck knows.  literally know one knows, though tbh.  they just think they do. 36: Define Art.:  lmfao how would i know.  i don’t have a creative bone in my body so i should be the last person to comment on the subject. 37: Do you believe in luck?:  nope.  i hope it’s obvious by now that i don’t believe in fictional things. 38: What’s the weather like right now?:  cool.  cloudy.  typical oregon winter weather.  i want rain tho :( 39: What time is it?:  3:04am. 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?:  yes.  and yes, several times.  three.  two totaled cars.  the last one is the only one that was actually my fault, though.  driving too close after it rained.  don’t do it, folks. 41: What was the last book you read?:  the diviners by libba bray.  currently reading a short history of nuclear folly by rudolph herzog.  fascinating, but kind of  depressing af. 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?:  no. 43: Do you have any nicknames?:  hal (to a very select few bc 99% of the time i hate it, so fuck you if you call me this without permission), hals, hallie bird, hallie strawberry. 44: What was the last film you saw?:  i honestly don’t know.  haven’t done a whole lot of movie watching lately.  maybe the fall (2006).  (please watch this movie, it’s so gorgeous and lovely.) 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?:  i’ve never had a serious injury.  well.  i take that back, i guess.  in my first car accident i was stopped and rear-ended at like, 40mph.  so i’ve had back issues since i was 18.  usually it’s fine but sometimes it’s bad and sometimes i can set it off really easily.  idk if that counts as “serious”, though.  lots of people have back problems. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?:  i don’t think so? 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?:  i guess buzzfeed unsolved and watcher.  and ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga lol.  good omens, as usual. 48: What’s your sexual orientation?:  asexual. 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?:  yes.  thankfully only a few (that i know of, anyway). 50: Do you believe in magic?:  no. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?:  yuuup.  they deserve it. 52: What is your astrological sign?:  taurus. 53: Do you save money or spend it?:  spend it :||  every paycheck i tell myself i’ll be better at saving it, but............ 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?:  preordered chromatica by lady gaga. 55: Love or lust?:  if i had to choose, love.  lust and all that stuff is gross. 56: In a relationship?:  nope.  shocker, i know.  (this is sarcasm.  it is no shocker to anyone as to why i’m single.) 57: How many relationships have you had?:  just the one. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?:  nope. 59: Where were you yesterday?:  work on my day off for a staff meeting, and then my psychiatrists’ office. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?:  a few things, yes. 61: Are you wearing socks right now?:  yes.  almost always. 62: What’s your favourite animal?:  cats, then birds.  mice are p adorable, too.  i miss having them.  i haven’t had mice since middle school or early high school i think :(  i’d love more but my current cat would definitely try to eat them... same with a bird.  i’ll probably never have a bird :( 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?:  be sarcastic and love stupid puns and bad jokes? 64: Where is your best friend?:  one is in ohio and the other is in massachusetts. 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.:  no idea lol.  i haven’t been on here much recently, and i’m never caught up anyway.  and i don’t usually pay attention to who is posting/reblogging. 66: What is your heritage?:  mostly german.  the rest is other typical white stuff that i can’t remember.  some irish?  either way idc. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?:  uh, rewatching some buzzfeed unsolved for the 100th time?  and playing with my tamagotchi? 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?:  he doesn’t exist so idc. 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?:  nope.  also, Nice™. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?:  incredibly doubtful. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?:  go to work.  i love my job way too much.  i’d probably try to get someone’s attention if there was anyone around, and/or call animal services.  (there are no canals around here anyway and i don’t walk to work and ain’t gonna.) 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?:  who tf knows, i hate this shit.  i’d really rather not think about it bc it stresses me out.  i probably wouldn’t tell very many people tho.  try to find someone to take my cat :(  i sure as shit wouldn’t leave her to my parents :(  and i wouldn’t want to leave her in a shelter.  she’s already done that once and it makes me too sad. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.:  trust.  you can’t have love without trust, though... 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?:  ‘sweetness’ by jimmy eat world, ‘fade to grey’ by jars of clay, ‘thunderhead’ by the elms, ‘bad romance’ and ‘g*psy’ by lady gaga (latter is... i hate the name but the song is so fucking catchy, ugh), ‘torn’ by natalie imbruglia, ‘bring it all back’ by s club 7, ‘... baby one more time’ by britney spears, ‘where’s the love’ by hanson, ‘who do you think you are’ by the spice girls, ‘as long as you love me’ and ‘everybody (backstreet’s back)’ by the backstreet boys, ‘black balloon’ by goo goo dolls, ‘spark’ by tori amos, ‘last beautiful girl’ by matchbox twenty, ‘push it’ by garbage, ‘i want you’ by savage garden, ‘minority’ and ‘she’ and ‘basket case’ and ‘macy’s day parade’ by green day... how’s that lol. 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?:  not giving out that kind of personal information lmao. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?:  i wouldn’t know. 77: How can I win your heart?:  you probably can’t.  idk anyway. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?:  sure, but lack of insanity is a better way to go.  don’t perpetuate the bullshit notion that you need to be suffering to create Great Art™. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?:  idk.  i haven’t made very many. 80: What size shoes do you wear?:  10 in women’s. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?:  i’m going to be cremated and you probably should be, too.  just don’t get embalmed, k? 82: What is your favourite word?:  fuck. 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.:  ‘alone’ by heart. 84: What is a saying you say a lot?:  idk.  someone who spends time around me irl would have to tell me. 85: What’s the last song you listened to?:  ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga on repeat. 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?:  blue.  then green, and in no particular order, black, grey, purple. 87: What is your current desktop picture?:  it’s boring, just the default mac catalina background lol.  i was having issues choosing a background and was getting way too fucking picky, so i just said ‘fuck it’ and have been using this one for months. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?:  donald trump. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?:  idk?  how much in debt i am?  lmao. 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?:  assume i’m having a night terror or am hallucinating.  and be scared. 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?:  hopefully teleportation. 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?:  maybe when i met carlos valdes & got a picture with him.  he’s super sweet, is living sunshine, and gives amazing hugs. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?:  so many :/  idek where to start tbh. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?:  i’m sex-repulsed so no thank you.  also, gross question.  get a life. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?:  new zealand. 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?:  yes, my cousin bc he murdered my dad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?:  no. 98: Ever been on a plane?:  many times. 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?:  indigenous people aren’t history, they still exist.  shut the fuck up and listen to them.  build a time machine to go back in time and prevent colonisers.  just straight-up kill them, we deserve it.
#me
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spartanguard · 7 years
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i love you (and i like you)
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @ive-always-been-a-pirate!!! I hope you have an absolutely fantastic, amazing day, because you are one of the sweetest peeps out there and deserve it. Here’s a quick little Parks & Rec AU to celebrate!! (because the only thing possibly more perfect than CS is Ben & Leslie) HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY!
Nothing infuriated Emma Swan more than Killian Jones.
She hated him the minute he waltzed into her department, announcing that Storybrooke was basically bankrupt and that he and his friend were there to make sure that didn’t happen. Which, in hindsight, sounds like a good thing, but not when doing so meant slashing half of the parks department’s budget. As Director of said department, how could she be okay with that?
“It’s not just us, Emma, it’s everyone,” her deputy, David, reminded her.
She groaned in response.
“Would you rather the city went broke?”
“Yes.”
She hated that sinful British accent of his, and the way his dark hair sometimes fell in his blue eyes, and how that scruff-covered jaw was just begging for someone to run a thumb across it. Those were the things she noticed when he took her out for a drink in an attempt to assuage her regarding the coming changes.
And that he was annoyingly charming, and funny, and flirtatious, and unfortunately, he too wanted to do the most good for the most people.
“Why is it you went into parks, Swan? Someone as fierce as you seems more fit for politics.”
She snorted, then shrugged. “I mean, I’ve thought about it. Running for office. I’d love to. But then I had my son, and I really wanted to make sure that he always had a safe place to play and have adventures. So this was kind of logical.”
He took a sip of his rum, swallowed, then looked up at her. “No, that’s not all, is it?”
“Beg your pardon?”
(This was when she learned she hated how well he could read her.)
Those too-blue eyes bored into hers. “You’re trying to give him something you never had, aren’t you?”
Her gaze narrowed; how could he know that?
“You’re something of an open book, love,” he said, apparently reading her mind. “You’ve got that look in your eyes—the one you get when you’ve been left alone.”
Damn, he was good. She didn’t tell many people about her life before Henry and then this guy just figures it out on his own. To her own surprise, she found herself filling in the blanks to this relative stranger. Reluctantly nodding, she explained, “I was a foster kid, and for a long time, I didn’t really have a place that was mine. But no matter where I went, there was always a park, and I could always find some quiet space there, even as a troubled teenager. So at some point, I got it into my head that that was what I wanted to do: make sure that there were always clean, nice parks for everyone to enjoy—and yes, most of all my son.”
His stare softened at her admission, and something seemed to shift between them ever so slightly. Then he smirked and replied, “Guess we have a few things in common.”
“What, were you a troubled teenager, too?”
“You could say that.”
She scoffed. No way this straight-laced, albeit somewhat lascivious, stud was anything but a goody-two-shoes in high school or primary school or whatever they call it in England. “I find that hard to believe.”
He looked down to study the wood of the bar. “Have you ever heard of Captain Jones, Teenage Pirate?”
Her jaw dropped. Of course she had—how could she not? Right around the time of her own rebellious teenage years, she’d heard the story of a kid not much older than her who’d taken to the high seas of England, terrorizing any ship he could, though doing not much more than being an annoyance to the Navy and convincing some wealthy minor royals to part ways with some jewels. She remembered the one picture she’d seen: a scrawny young man, wind whipping his long dark hair and reddening his babyish face. But his eyes…
“Holy shit, that was you?”
He was blushing—the nerd was actually blushing. “At your service.”
She couldn’t reconcile those two images in her head. “Just…how? How do you go from that to…this?” she demanded, gesturing to him.
“I was protesting what I thought was an unjust action by the Royal Navy that put my brother in unnecessary danger. He survived, but he’s my only family and I was just angry enough at the world to go rogue. When they finally caught me, I went to jail for a short while but then was released to him, and he made me realize just how foolish I’d been. So I straightened up, went to university, and eventually found myself over here, working to right wrongs in government as a way to atone for my youthful follies in a more productive manner.”
She was speechless. Yeah, it was an incredible tale, but, damn…they really did have something in common.
She hated the way he seemed to have no remorse in shutting down the government, despite their conversation—despite all that he and Robin had seen in Storybrooke. She hated that she had started to let another guy in only for him to betray her again.
“These are people’s jobs, Killian! Their livelihoods! And not just them—this is going to affect all of Storybrooke!”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m trying to save the town, Emma. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.”
“And what am I supposed to tell all these people who were looking forward to that concert?”
“It’s a concert, Swan; there will be others. You think these people can’t handle it?”
“Here? No.”
They glared at each other for another moment, tensions high, and while most of her was raging, a small but significant part of her just wanted to kiss him.
“There’s more to this, isn’t there?” he asked, voice low.
Damn him. Of course there was, and of course he knew it. She could give him some drivel about how Henry was looking forward to it, or that it was a tradition, but those would be lies. It just…stung.
“No, there isn’t.” She turned away. “Call me when you’ve figured this shit out.”
She absolutely hated that, when she had found a way to nearly save the community concert, it was Killian that actually did, by rehiring the band out of his own pocket. She hated it so much she cried happy tears in the privacy of her own car (which freaked out Henry a bit, so he hugged her tight).
And she really hated it when she overheard the conversation between he and Robin about staying in Storybrooke, even after fixing the budget. Worse yet, they’d be working with her in city hall, both in the city manager’s office.
How awful it had been to see him every day, especially once she got the idea to revive the Miner’s Festival, and Killian was totally on board. He helped her every step of the way, even when she was delirious with the flu and drunk off her ass.
“You really think we can pull this off?” she wondered aloud, hopelessness seeping in after a sponsor pulled out.
“I do, Swan,” he assured her, completely sincerely. “I’ve yet to see you fail.”
She kind of hated that he was right, though she was mostly relieved. Everything had gone off without a hitch; everyone was having fun; and Mayor Mills had managed to find the town’s mascot dog, Wilby, before he’d ran off too far. It was pretty much perfect.
“Told you. I knew you could do it, Swan. You’re a bloody hero.”
She blushed, uncomfortable with the praise. “So are you. I wanted to thank you, Killian, for all your help—for staying in Storybrooke in the first place. We couldn’t have done it without all your help.”
“It was the right thing to do.”
There was something that had been bugging her the more they had worked together—and gotten closer—over the past few months. “I’ve gotta ask: why did you?”
“Why did I what?”
“Stay. You told me about how you’ve been all over the place, never staying in one town for long. But you’re here, in this crazy little town. Why?”
He took a step closer, somewhat nervous. “Don’t you know, Emma?” She tilted her head, confused. “It’s you.”
She prayed Henry was nowhere nearby, because after so many close encounters, awkward hugs, and exchanged wanting glances over the past few months, she was tired of holding back. She didn’t even care about Robin’s no-dating rule that she’d been using to justify not acting on her growing feelings. She just stepped right into his space, grabbed the lapels of that silly leather jacket he was always wearing, and hauled his lips to hers. He didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, pulling her tight, and she quickly got lost in their kiss.
She hated how perfectly they fit together, how easy it was to have him in her life. She hated how well he got along with Henry. She hated how sweet and caring he was, always supporting her fully and so in tune with what she needed. She really hated sneaking around, but there was a certain thrill in having to hide their relationship work.
That is, until David caught them. And until someone approached Emma with running for a position on City Council. And Killian was just too damn perceptive for his own good.
So what she really hated was how he put her dreams and wants above his.
They sat down at the table and she took a deep breath, building up courage for the conversation she’d been avoiding for weeks.
“I know I’ve been really weird lately. I…like you a lot, even though that contradicts what I’m about to say—”
“I know,” he cut her off, understanding as ever, and sliding toward her the small box he’d been trying to force on her all day, ever since lunch at Granny’s. “Open the box.”
“Killian, would you stop it with the box?” she complained, exasperated that he was trying to give her a gift when she was trying her damnedest to keep it together despite what was coming.
“Okay, then, I’ll open the box.” He calmly tugged the box back, flipped the lid, and put it back in front of her. And she was speechless.
Inside was an oversized campaign badge. In white text on a red background was written SWAN 2017.
“Wow,” she breathed. “You knew.”
“Aye,” he nodded, looking down. “I know I should have told you sooner, but…I wanted this to last as long as possible.” He looked up at her through his lashes. “We have to break up, love.”
Knowing it and hearing it were two different things; a stone dropped in her stomach. “Why? Why do we have to break up?”
“Emma, you’ve worked so hard for this—you’ve earned this. And I don’t want anyone to think you’ve gotten here by sleeping with your boss, as devilishly handsome as he may be.”
“But I like sleeping with my boss.”
He teasingly offered every bad breakup line in the book— “It’s not you; it’s me”; “you disgust me”—but it didn’t reach his eyes and she could always spot a lie.
She really, really hated seeing him with another girl on his arm.
It had been six weeks since their reluctant breakup and while things were progressing in her campaign—and she was getting ever closer to achieving one of her dreams—she wasn’t sure if the success was worth the aching loneliness she felt every night, lying alone in her bed. Henry, bless his little heart, had tried to cheer her up, and she appreciated it, but it only partly filled the void.
She still saw Killian every day, which was probably the worst part—being close to him but not being able to be with him was a whole different kind of torture. She’d been through her share of heartbreak, but this was on a whole other level.
And then he started to pull away from her, and she had no idea why. She’d even selfishly tried to drag out a low-level parks project—installing the smallest park in Maine in the center of town—because it was the last one they’d do together.
But it went through faster than she thought, and here they were, celebrating their victory with a little shindig at David’s house. And there he was, with that pixie-like blonde journalist at his side.
“Oh, so just because I can’t go out with him, someone else can?” she complained to Mary Margaret, David’s wife and her best friend.
“Yes,” was the matter-of-fact response. “That’s actually the first time I’ve seen him smile in a while.”
No, that—that was the worst of all.
“Really?” Emma asked voice small.
“Really,” she answered in a knowing voice. And Mary Margaret would know—Killian had been renting their spare bedroom ever since he decided to stay in town.
If Killian had been just as torn up over their break as her, and it took this new woman for him to move on, then no wonder he was pulling away.
She hated that the most.
She couldn’t stay there any longer. Quickly, she made sure Henry was okay to stay there for a bit and headed out, walking around their small town to clear her head, or her heart, or something.
It shouldn’t have been any surprise that she ended up at their tiny park. It was just a lamppost and a bench with a few flower pots, but it was their brainchild and it was perfect. She took a seat on the bench and stared into the night.
“Thought I might find you here.” She jumped at Killian’s voice, turning toward it as he stepped into the light.
“Shouldn’t you be with Tink?” she threw back, more bitter than she’d intended.
“Maybe.” His tone was non-committal but he sat down next to her.
They sat in silence for a few minutes—not an awkward one, but they both seemed to want to say something. So she did.
“Why are you here?” His only reaction was to turn to look at her, so she continued. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, I understand.”
“Believe me, Swan—I don’t want that,” he was quick to reply, to her relief. “I just…” he trailed off, scratching nervously behind his ear. “I think it’s for the best,” he concluded sadly.
She sighed; he was probably right. “Okay.” His face fell a bit, but he nodded and stood, and started to walk away.
And in that moment, she was reminded of everyone else who had walked away: foster parents, Henry’s father, a string of exes who never seemed to want her for her. But Killian—he never had done that. Even dumping her was putting her first. She couldn’t let that go.
“Or we just say ‘screw it’,” she called after him. “And do this for real.”
He stopped and turned back to look at her. “What?”
“Everyone I’ve been with has left me, except you. I can’t lose you, too, Killian. And I miss you like crazy, so let’s do this.”
His head was down as he stepped back toward her, making it hard to read his expression. “We’d have to tell Robin.”
“Yeah.”
“It could cause a scandal.”
“I know.”
“It could hurt your campaign.”
“I know, but I know how I feel, and I want to be with you.” She swallowed; she couldn’t remember a time in her life when she’d been more nervous or when so much had hung on one question. “That’s how I feel. How do you feel?”
He looked up and a smile was teasing at the corner of his mouth and eyes; the weight that had been sitting within her since they’d first broken up started to lift.
And then he was in front of her in two strides, hands cupping her face and his mouth on hers. Their first kiss had been one of pent-up passion, but this? This was like coming home. And she kind of never wanted to leave.
They were making out for what felt like ages, but let Granny, or Tink, or this town’s crazy raccoons watch. When they finally broke apart, she only had one thought.
“I love you and I like you.”
“I love you and I like you, too, Swan.”
thanks to @shipsxahoy for looking this over! Tagging a few others who might like this: @kat2609 @mryddinwilt @thesschesthair @fergus80 @optomisticgirl @captainswanismyendgame @fairytalesandtimetravel @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @disastergirl @laschatzi @jscoutfinch @nfbagelperson @stubble-sandwich @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones
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Can you finish the David trilogy?
Short opinion: #22 is the one in which Cassie and Tobias show that it’s always the quiet ones, and their enemies dismiss the “kinder, gentler” Animorphs at their own folly.
Long opinion:
Part of what makes David such an excellent foil to the rest of the team is that he behaves almost as if he wandered in from a completely different story.  He clearly wants to make the Animorphs into a five-man band: he views Jake as the hero, Cassie as the brains, Marco as the lancer, Ax as the brawn, and Rachel as the chick.  Tobias he ignores to the point of dehumanization, to his own peril.  Of course, the Animorphs don’t fit those roles, not really.  Either Ax or Marco might be the smartest person on the team, and both of them freely admit to paying more attention to daydreaming than academics while at school.  Rachel is closer to being the team’s “brawn”—and she also consistently does better in school than anyone else on the team.  Jake is the leader of their team, but he’s not the best morpher (Cassie), the best fighter (Rachel), the one with The Destiny (Tobias), or even their front man (Marco).  Neither Cassie nor Rachel is helpless enough or spiritual enough to be “the chick.”  Frankly, most five-man bands tend to be fairly sexist and gender-essentialist in their roles, so all K.A. Applegate has to do to subvert that trope is to make extremely well-rounded characters.
Anyway, David blunders into the Animorphs’ story with too much focus on flash and surface, not enough on substance or resilience.  And he gets his butt kicked.  As Cassie points out: “it’s all about character” (#21) and he doesn’t know theirs, while Jake and Cassie at least have David’s number from the moment David first gives in to Visser Three.  More specifically, David gets his butt kicked by the girls on the team.  
David is a misogynist, essentializing all of the members of the team but especially the female ones.  Part of that misogyny is that he objectifies Rachel and dismisses Cassie… and the entire time he’s an Animorph, both Cassie and Rachel have the most power over him as a direct result of that failure to see them as competent warriors.  He only survives his first battle because Cassie coerces him into morphing cockroach and Rachel literally swoops in to grab his sorry butt out of midair.  He doesn’t succeed in giving the Animorphs to Visser Three in the banquet hall because first Cassie and then Rachel use a combination of verbal acrobatics and physical violence to keep him quiet.  Rachel drags him into their first battle as Animorphs, and Cassie keeps him alive throughout the conflict.  Cassie is the one who figures out the plan that ends in David trapped in morph, whereas Rachel is the one who pulls off all the tricky parts of its execution.  David falls for the trap specifically because he doesn’t see Cassie as a threat, and because he thinks that he can easily get the best of Rachel through dominating and humiliating her.  His blind adherence to his initial (grossly oversimplified) impressions of the team makes him incredibly easy to manipulate—and manipulate him Cassie does.  His refusal to believe that a girl could win a fight against him makes it all that much easier for Rachel to kick his ass.
K.A. Applegate’s comment here is subtle but also thorough and brutal: if you rely on stereotypes to know about other people, you are not only a despicable human being but also a stupid one.  Learn about those around you, or pay the price.  
And, honestly, I’m not nearly as torn up about the whole mess with Rachel getting her hands suuuuuper dirty in this book as other posters (or Rachel herself) tend to be.  What possible solution do the Animorphs have other than trapping David in morph?  Killing him?  Letting him turn them in to the yeerks?  Waiting around for him to kill them all?  I’ve mentioned before that THE WHOLE POINT of this book is that the kids don’t get out of making the incredibly hard call where David is concerned, because basically the whole point of the series is that war is brutal and awful and has no simple answers.  
Enough about Rachel choosing to kill (and later trap) David.  Other posts (including mine) have beaten that horse to death and are still on the ground twisting a fork in its ear to this day.  
Instead, let’s talk about how thoroughly Cassie kicks David’s ass throughout this entire book.  She starts out by saving Jake’s life with the power of hinky veternarianism, but she also picks up on the difference between real!Marco and David!Marco immediately.  She shows compassion for David (rather, she makes a show of compassion for David to get information from him) and continually confronts him with the fact that these “animals” he insists he can kill in battle are actually just scared kids like him.  
Cassie figures out that David is turning them in because that way he can get his parents back using nothing but her knowledge of David’s and Visser Three’s personalities.  She’s the one who figures out that David will stop fighting as soon as he thinks that he has overpowered them with his “superior” intelligence and fighting skill.  She out-whales David with her superior whale skills through some super-fast morphing when he comes after them as an orca.  Not only does she figure out exactly how to maneuver David into the trap that eventually gets him stuck in morph, she successfully predicts every move he’ll make along the way, including demanding that it be Rachel to help him and completely dismissing Tobias’s existence.  And let’s not forget that it is her idea all along to avoid killing David through trapping him in a morph that cannot fight back against him, then stashing him somewhere he cannot escape.  She buys the cage.  She sets it up.  She writes everyone’s scripts.  She keeps them on track until the end.
But yeah, let’s talk some more about how cold Rachel is in this book.  
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ghostly-insights · 7 years
Text
“The Shannara Chronicles”
As a person who loves just being silly and joke about things, but doesn’t disrespect others while doing so; as a person who tries to avoid to say things like “This sucks!” talking about anything that doesn’t match her taste ‘cause she doesn’t want to be rude, I feel safe and confident when I take a stand and affirm that this show is ABSOLUTE CRAP.
The Shannara Chronicles is terrible. It is. There’s nothing else to say, nothing that can save it: it’s bullshit from start to finish. I came from fantasy readings: it’s what got me passionate about reading in the first place, and the sky only knows how much I’m into elfs, how much I love the old school way to create and develop this genre of stories and how I get excited when someone reinvents it, creates a new, cool way to do fantasy. It’s really my jam, I can’t help it, it’s written in my code. I’m not gonna say that I know everything about it (I don’t), but I know my shit, so hear me out when I say that you don’t have to know what I know to watch this Tv show and see by yourself the madness that it holds. And before you can stop me and say “You probably didn’t even watch it, you’re just taking out of your ass!” or “You didn’t watch it all!”, pause: I did watch it. All of it. My eyes are still bleeding, my soul is wounded forever, but I managed to finish season one.
I can tell you that there actually is something very positive that this show teaches you, which could be summarized in this sentence: your crappiest idea could be still confirmed for a season two.
Yeah, that’s right: season two will happen. It’s actually already happening, unless they shoot only a week before airing the show, which would make so much sense since it would match the quality of the whole thing. The Shannara Chronicles is basically a fantasy telenovela: it’s awful, poorly shoot, blindfolded written, deep as a puddle, edited by a three years old meerkat and performed by beached cods. What makes it original is the fact that it’s the parody of itself, except it’s not. They’re actually serious, and while it’s shocking and sad on a side, on the other it’s simply hilarious. You can’t have a functioning brain and not laugh at the folly so perfectly captured by this show. It’s a plot twist after the other: you keep watching ‘cause you want to know how low they can go... and it’s always way lower than what you dared to imagine! It’s amazingly terrible, I simply had to see it all.
If you think that I’m exaggerating, allow me to enlighten you with a couple of the pearls of season one:
Boiled Potato (aka Amberle): “We have to find Bitchy Teen (aka Eretria), she has no body and she’ll think we’ve abandoned her like everybody else1!!1!” Useless Trout (aka Wil): “Can’t we just take a nap instead??!” Boiled Potato: “No!” Useless Trout: “Yes!” Boiled Potato: “Alright then, and since we’re already here why don’t we fuck each other on this conveniently plowed grass?? Our friend just fell in a cave from a seven metes high fall after being hit in the kidneys by an arrow shot by her ex booty call, what could possibly go wrong??”
Alright, alright, that’s not the actual dialogue, but is this what really happens? Yes. This is what happens, and there’s more to that:
Punk Elderly (aka Allanon): "Will! You're not just a useless half-elf, who looks like a girl with giant lips, unable to save his mother and the son of a drunken fool!" Useless Trout: “Oh, really??” Punk Elderly: “Really! You’re a useless half-elf, who looks like a girl with giant lips, unable to save his mother, son of a drunken fool which, HOWEVER, was a Shannara!” Useless Trout: “Nah, you’re joking...” Punk Elderlly: “I’m serious! And you know what that means??” Useless Trout: “No..?” Punk Elderly: “It means that you can do magic and you could have saved your mother, but you didn't because I told you just now that she’s already dead, hahaha, how cool is that??"
Again: a few changes here and there, but the core is untouched.
There’s also a love triangle that you can’t tell in which direction is triangling. What, you think that’s untrue? It’s fantasy, but it’s still a telenovela, and what kind of telenovela doesn’t have a love triangle, am I right?
Let’s get to the facts! So, Boiled Potato develops a crush on Useless Trout, who earlier had an half-thingy with Bitchy Teen, but then he gets lost for Boiled Potato, but Boiled Potato talks to a tree and the tree tells her she can’t save the world and have a boyfriend, so Useless Trout fucks Bitchy Teen and Boiled Potato gets mad at him, but then he tells her that he did it only ‘cause he thought he didn’t stand a chance with her, so she looks at him with carp’s eyes, BUT THEN Bitchy Teen flirts with Boiled Potato, and Boiled Potato potatoes away from her, and then she kisses Useless Trout and... ehm...
Well, it’s hard to remember all that crap.
[A few moments later...]
Oh, right! Then they kiss because Boiled Potato thought they were gonna die, although Bitchy Teen was altredy trying to save her, but Useless Trout gets there first and it’s unclear if Bitchy Teen was jealous of him or Boiled Potato. Then Boiled Potato and Bitchy Teen end up in a hole: Useless Trout goes to rescue them, Bitchy Teen gets shot by her ex friend-with-benefits - elf huntress, pissed off like a hyena (apparently she didn’t take well the whole being dumped by Bitchy Teen) -, and Boiled Potato pulls up that fake concern and goes “Nooo, she’s out frieeeend, let’s go baaaack!”, but as soon as she sniffs the idea of a quickie with Useless Trout she’s ready to let the world implode in her absence.
She and Useless Trout are this close to slutting around on the grass - right there, at the eyes of everyone... not even in a cave, nupe, shameless -, unfastening each other’s armguards etc., and then - oh Gosh! - they hear a noise and nothing, they don’t do the deed.
After a load of bullshit, they get back to Bitchy Teen, who - in the meanwhile - has made a new wardrobe, a new boyfriend and is happy and content dancing in this pro-humans disco where they project an episode of Star Trek on a TV (that’s right, a functioning TV in a FANTASY UNIVERSE) and they all go “BOOOO!” when Spock appears, ‘cause he’s an elf (’cause the pointy ears... but why am I even explaining this?). Boiled Potato and Useless Trout want her back in the team of “The Dumb, The Dumber & The Dumbest” because she’s part of a some kind of prophecy, and at the end she, in facts, reunites with them, ‘cause her new boyfriend happens to be planning to kill her at some point - and he has guns too (just like that, randomly). So they have to run, and they succeed in this “thanks” to Bitchy Teen’s rapist, who scarifies himself, making a squalid exit as if he somehow where a hero at that point (and when I called him rapist I wasn’t joking, he tries to rape Boiled Potato too).
Parallel to this, at the Palace of the Most Stupid and Disappointing Elves I've Ever Seen in 19 Years of Existence, the king gets killed (such a loss); the one who was probably gonna be the next king and was banging his brother’s ex girlfriend also dies badly, and the remaining drunkard asshole becomes king, under the look of his ex-not-so-ex-girlfriend (this woman fucked 2/3 crowed heads, only because the missing one was already dead).
Now, does this whole thing I wrote make a little of sense? Try to flavor all of this with: random splatter murders; demons who are licking each other's faces and speak in those preposterous languages that are known only to those that are bad and ugly; a guy that it makes you see when you die when he touches you; Punk Elderly The Druid who dies and comes back to life more often and faster than Goku; horrific tortures that don’t leave even the smallest mark (????); flying stuff; collectors of elf ears; a disturbing child who makes you feel uncomfortable and then dies, and... uhm...
I don’t know. Many, many small indispensable things. Like swords that compose themselves, three blue pills like Viagra that if used they dig tunnels in your palms... ehm... Horses? Also useless.
I mean, c’mon everybody: we’re talking about a series where Boiled Potato finds three D&D’s dice, keeps them with her and then tells to Useless Trout that she kept them ‘cause they reminder her of him, since he’s the Elected Carrier of the Three Maxi Viagra... THREE F*CKING D&D’S DICE, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??! They didn’t even made a new crown that could fit the head of the new king, hello there budget!
The elves are clearly the jerks of the story: they don’t believe in magic, in the druids, they mock the sacred tree (this really pissed me off), what a wretched band. If they dared to say half of the things they’ve said in front of the Whomping Willow, he would have made tins of sardines out of them, no less.
There’s too much to point out in this show, it’s all so, so, so bad. But I’m telling you, it’s that bad that you could somehow find yourself unable to not watch it. I’m gonna take a look to season two: I need to know if they made even the smallest progress or if it’s gonna be that shitty for another season. Seriously, it’s just that bad. And the most shipped couple is Princes Rover, which isn’t canon. At least make that happen, you brilliant minds. Otherwise you’ll have to do that trick again. You know, the one who allowed you to be confirmed for a second season.
P.S. I like some of the outfits, though.
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