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lizzieislife94x · 4 months

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PhotoShoot (e.o)

Lizzie x Fem Reader

GirlxGirl

Y/ns POV:

Im suddenly woken by my phone ringing loudly I reach over and grab it looking at the screen with one eye open as I let out a groan why is my boss calling at 6:45am "hey Susan what's up is everything ok" I mumble half asleep "yeah just making sure your awake you have Elizabeth olsen for today's photoshoot" I open my eyes as I remember my client is Elizabeth olsen I've been looking forward to today for 3 months she's the most stunning human I've ever laid my eyes on "yeah I know Susan but the shoot is at 12 and your calling me at 6:45am I'll be there don't worry and also don't call back I'm going back to sleep ill text you when I'm awake" I say blatantly as I hang up, that might have sounded rude and some might be like why would you speak to your boss like that well she's also my bestfriend and has been for the last 12 years we met when we where 14 and have been best friends since.

I yawn and stretch with a smile on my face as I sit up to start my day I quickly check the time and see its 10am plenty of time to shower ready before heading to the studio, I walk into the bathroom and turn on thes hower I quickly brush my teeth as I'm waiting for the water to heat up after a few mins I climb in and get washed head to toe and wash my hair once I'm done I head to my bedroom and grab my outfit for today tight ripped jeans white tee and a flannel, I quickly get dressed and head downstairs for a coffee and decide to text Susan to let her know i won't be late or she'll be freaking out

Me: Hey I'm up and ready just having a coffee then I'm heading to the studio I'm sure I'll see you at some point today 😂

The bitch: Thought I was gonna have to call josh in to cover for you asshole 😒

Me: BITCH I swear to god you dare try and take the opportunity to photograph THE Elizabeth olsen away from me I will make it my mission to make you miserable day in day out 😈

I giggle as I finish my coffee and slide my phone into my pocket I rinse my coffee mug and head to the car and start my drive to the studio the drive was fairly quick I arrive at 11:45 perfect timing as I walk into the office I feel my nerves pick up as I see the blonde standing talking to Susan I can tell right away it's Elizabeth I walk closer as I make eye contact with Susan and she smirks making Elizabeth turn "lizzie this is one of our best photographers y/n l/n and y/n this is Elizabeth " I smile and stretch out my hand "Elizabeth it's a pleasure to meet you I'm a huge fan" she smiles as her hand lingers in my "nice to meet you y/n I've heard great things" I can't help but get lost in her eyes as I freak out inside.

"Just a few more shots lizzie and we can take a break you're doing amazing, the camera loves you" I smirk as I get her to pose how I want after 10 minutes we take a break and I'm pretty sure lizzie has been flirting with me for the last 3 hours "so y/n what are you plans for the weekend, do you have a boyfriend " she asks casually as I chock on my water "men aren't really my thing but no I don't have anyone at home waiting for me" I sigh as she gets closer "that's a shame you're beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have you come home to them" I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out next thing I know her lips are pressed against mine in a rough kiss I instantly return the kiss as she deepens it once we break for air I'm still lost for words making her giggle "you're such a great kisser" I blush making her giggle more "no thats you" I say shyly as she climbs onto my lap and kisses me again I let my hands roam her body as they find a place on her ass I feel her moan into my mouth and smirk "should we do this isn't it a bit soon" I breath out as she looks into my eyes "definitely not to soon plus I plan on seeing you again y/n" I bite my lip and nod as we start to remove our clothes once we're fully naked I lay her down and start to kiss my way down her body letting my mouth wrap around her hard nipple earning a loud moan she roughly grips my hair as I run my hand down her body between her legs "someone's soaking such a naughty girl" I tease looking up at her "shut up don't tease me just do something about it" I lick my lips and nod as I run my fingers through her wet folds groaning at how wet she is "please y/n" she begs turning me on more a slip 2 digits into her dripping cunt earning a surprised gasp "so warm and tight" I say as I kiss her jaw thrusting my fingers nice and slow "you better hurry someone could walk in at any moment " making me realise we where in my work place I thrust my fingers faster as I kiss her making her moan into my mouth I curl my fingers as I hit her gspot with every thrust "I'm I'm gonna fuck y/n" before I know it she's cumming all over my fingers I slow my thrusts letting her ride out her orgasm "mhhh such a good girl" I smirk as I slide my fingers out and suck them never breaking eye contact "that was amazing" she pants as I lean down and place a kiss on her cheek, "get ready quickly incase someone comes in" I say with a giggle as we both get ready, we continue the rest of the shoot getting to know one and other before I know it the shoot is done "give me your phone" she says with a flirty smile I grab my phone and hand it to her "here put your number in mine" she says handing me her phone I quickly put my number in and hand the phone back as she hands mine back "I'll text you later and we can hang out soon" she says as she leans in to kiss me quickly I kiss her back as I bite her lip gently before we part ways, this is not how I pictured the shoot going but fuck I'm glad it did this woman has me under her thumb.

I spent the rest of the day walking around with a huge smile on my face and susan following me around like a puppy trying to figure out why ive been smiling so much its rather funny.

AN: i don't know what this is I know its not great but I needed to post something to keep the book up-to-date but this is terrible I will post a part 2 of this and make it so much better haha but if you have any requests please message me ill do them right away I've had no decent ideas to post so yall get this deal with it haha word count 1.3k

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oldarticles · 3 months

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Life in the Real World (Sort of)

by Jake Hurwitz

One thing college humor gets praised for is its diverse writing staff. I mean just look at our writer's page, it's a never-ending list of faces from all over the world, each with his or her own unique blend of class and hilarity. Okay wait, don't really look at the writer's page, just take my word for it. Alright, fine, you got me, we're mostly a bunch of Jewish kids from the Northeast, and one or two hot chicks (Hey Lauren Holly *wink*). But just because we're all white kids with a college education doesn't mean we don't know the low down on the real world. Check it:

Politics: As your average 20 year old, I know what's important to today's youth: Trust Funds. We all have them, and we'd like to see them mature the way that they should. I'm sure we're all aware that there's a war going on somewhere in the world, over some kind of discrepancy"¦ Well I, for one, don't want anything to jeopardize my Trust Fund, which is why I always vote in my money's best interest. My parents and grandparents worked very hard to earn that money, and they deserve to see me drive around in an awesome sports car before they die.

Sports: Now that it's fall, basketball season is in full swing, right? Okay, I'm not exactly familiar with sports like, "Football" or "Hockey" but I can tell you that my croquet set on the Vineyard has never seen so much action as it did this summer! Talk about your nail-biting matches! Even Champ, our Golden Retriever, got in on the excitement, barking and gallivanting across the yard. Aside from croquet, my favorite sport is probably sailing. When I'm on my father's boat, sipping wine coolers while our captain, Esteban, flies across the sea, I just know in my heart that this is The Only Sport for Me; which, coincidentally, is what we named the boat. I don't know about anyone else, but playing sports makes me feel like an average Joe. Only this average Joe would prefer to be called Joseph, I think it sounds better.

Jobs: I understand that those kids who aren't fortunate enough to go to college usually have to get jobs straight out of high school (unless you're a girl, they just have babies). Well I had a summer job this year, and man alive, was it tough! My dad's office barely gave me 25 dollars an hour and I had to share my office for like two weeks before they finally fired that woman who had been there for 9 years. Going to work everyday from 11:00 to 3:00 with only a two hour lunch break really made me appreciate the hard work real people have to do. Even though work was trying, I knew I was gaining valuable life experience, something you don't find at college.

Hopefully I've proved all you skeptics wrong by demonstrating that I'm in touch with current affairs, I'm down to earth and, clearly, I'm hard working. But just because I'm totally ready for the real world doesn't mean I want to get thrown into the mire quite yet. I'm enjoying college life - and even though it's a major bitch not being able to have both my cars on campus and I hate not having someone to hand wash my delicate garments - I definitely want to stick around for at least another 6 or 7 years. Hey, I think I hear my fraternity brothers calling my name from the game room, peace out!

#jake and amir

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lover-girl-estxx · 3 months

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Don't Worry About It

part 6

*not my gif*

| Two Weeks Later |

Sean got me a job down the street a week ago as a server where I could bring Abel cause the owner has two kids that sit with him. It was about 7 and Sean and Axel walked through the door "hi" I smiled "we gonna eat" Sean said "come on," I grabbed menus "i'll go tell Abel". Me and Sean have been 'dating' but I haven't told the boys yet, i've really enjoyed being with Sean but i'm trying to take it slow not to rushed into maybe the same situation. "your brother and Sean are over there" he smiled and hopped down "hey dude" Axel said picking him up.

"Don't worry about it Sean really" "Y/n set me" "your not paying bye" I smiled he sighed as I waved "I can take Abel home" Axel said holding his brother "okay!" I kissed his cheek "what time you be home?" "an hour i'd say" they nodded.

Not an hour 4 hours later I walked in the door at 12:30 trying to be quiet softly closing the door "your home late" Sean said in the dark "jesus christ Sean" I put a hand of my chest "Sorry" he chuckled "we had a rush come in" I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck "next time text me I was getting nervous" he put his hands on my waist "okay" I nodded and pecked his lips "I do have something to tell you you might be happy about" I added "and whats that?" "girl at work has an apartment open I don't need to pay to get in" he lightly sighed "okay" he said flatly "what!" "nothing whatever you want to do" "Sean" I looked up at him "I just though you stop looking" he shrugged "now that we're together or whatever if we don't work out i don't what to..do you want to live with two kids?" "I don't mind it I've said that..I like having you guys, I think they think you guys feel the same?" "this isn't my house," I put hands on my chest "and- I don't want to talk about it right now i'm tired haven't made my mind up yet...that okay?" I asked softly "yeah" he nodded "thank you" I stood up and kissed him.

I got out of the shower and changed going out into the living room, where he sat on the couch. I sat with my legs on his lap "did I sound like a bitch?" I asked "no" he lightly laughed "cause I don't mean to be you've been- you've done so for us, maybe you just need a little break from a three year old running around" "whatever you guys want to do" he moved a piece of my hair with a smiled I leaned up and kissed him "this place is always open for you and them" "thank you" I smiled.

"mom?" I woke up to and a hand on my shoulder I open my eyes and look around I was pretty much on top of sleeping Sean "yeah" I whispered "school" "sorry," I stood up "I got home late" he smiled "i'll meet you in the car" I nodded. Sean groaned turning to his side "i'll be back Abel's asleep" he nodded "okay" "thanks" I kissed his head.

"so you dating?" He said as I got it I sighed "yes" putting the car in drive, "anything else?" he said "an apartment opened we could get in...would you want to do that? Seans is great but" "yeah i'd like that" "okay i'll talk to my friend tonight" I smiled sightly "you want to move?" "i think it would be good" he nodded.

"eat it before your mom gets back" Sean said as I walked in the kitchen "what! are you doing?" they both jumped holding ice creams Abel started to giggle on the counter, I kissed his temple then took a bite he gasped and pulled it away. Sean pulled me into him "hey" he smiled "hi" I leaned up and pecked his lips without thinking I pulled away looking right to Abel "i tho't Axel was joking" he said smiling taking another bite "that was easy" I whispered laying my head on his chest wrapping my arms around him.

| Week Later |

| Seans POV |

"baby you don't have a bed" I said "I have an air mattress" ' she shrugged "let's go to the store" "i'm fine i'm gonna get more cash soon and get more stuff". I walked in Axel's room he had old fight posters that were in the back of the gym "looks good?" he asked "yeah," I nodded "want me to get some stuff for your room?" "no don't worry about it". "bye babe" I said kissing her by the door "bye honey thanks for the help" I nodded "let me know for you need anything" "okay" she nodded and pecked my lips.

| Y/ns POV |

We got pizza and ate on the small couch that was there where they gave us the place and a small TV. "i'm going to bed" Axel popped up from the couch "okay goodnight" I smiled "night...night Abe". "you ready for bed?" I asked Abel he shook his head getting in my lap. Seany: how is it? M: i'm good it's nice thanks :) Seany: you sure? you need anything?" M: i'm fine promise! Seany: okay goodnight M:goodnight!

Abel already fell asleep I turned off the TV, and picked him up putting him in bed putting the blanket over him I laid in my bed next to his. I couldn't sleep I was turning back and forth I grabbed my phone 2:28am I sighed and got up. I was nervous I haven't been in a place without Sean what if Ethan finds us here. I sat on the couch turning back on the TV, I grabbed my phone going on IG Sean posted on his story I viewed it and hearted it. almost as soon as I did my phone rang from him.

"Hey" I whispered "what are you doing up?" "couldn't sleep" "why?" "just cause" "that so?" "its just...didn't know how u-um safe you make me feel I guess" I played with the blanket over my lap "really?" he said softly "yeah" "you want me to come over?" "No no it's fine" " put me on facetime i'll stay on till you fall asleep" I smiled "okay"

It wasn't a school morning so Axel was still asleep, Abel was on the couch I made eggs. "t'hanks " he said and I gave him a plate sitting next to him. "morning" Axe said opening the fridge "I was just about to make lunch" I chuckled "I was tired" he yawned a knock came to the front door "must be Sean!" I hopped up and smiled "your like a teenager" he whispered. I opened the door, my smile dropped and I closed the door so he couldn't see in "go away!" I said "you need to come home and stop with the bullshit" Ethan said "go now" "come on you've been at that assholes house for a month you had your fun" I went to shut the door and his hand stopped it "mom?" Axel ripped the door open and grabbed Ethan by the collar telling him to get lost walking him all the way to the car.

A/n: part 7 tomorrow and all the V day ones will be out by V day

#ufc #ufc x reader #sean ufc #sean strickland x reader #sean strickland #sean strickland imagine

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minuy600 · 5 months

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The Arcade Games Of 1980 #7 - Rally-X

Busy year for Namco games, this was. We've got our second game here that uses the Pac-Man engine, with both games clearly taking from the same concept that Head-On began with. You still need to get through a maze, avoiding enemies and collecting items.

This time however, the mazes are pretty gigantic, and they actually change their design and color as you get further in the game. Pretty cool precursor to how Ms. Pac-Man varied things up too- too bad you're never actually gonna see the latter 2 stages in a legit manner.

Oh my *god*. Rally-X is absolutely brutal with it's difficulty, from the very beginning you're being chased by red cars that constantly attempt to crash into you by turning at inopportune times, or thinking three steps ahead and taking the right corners so you get trapped. The game starts with 3 cars chasing ya, but that gradually increases to a whopping eight by the game's peak difficulty, which you reach pretty early if you compare it to how many stages the game has before it loops, that being 15.

It would've been a fair challenge, at least in the first half, if the controls didn't suck SO badly. Take Pac-Man's issues with wrong inputs and turn them up to 11. I've missed so many corners or turned one when I didn't want to way too many times to count. I may have criticised the Pacster for being a bit dull early on, but at least it gives you the room to acclimatise and make small errors without it being extremely punishing. Rally-X sometimes straight up glitched me into a wall because I pushed a button too early!

Ugh. Look. This game is well made in many ways. You'll see soon enough that I actually like a lot of aspects of the game and those compare to it's more succesful cousin equally or even favorably. It sucks that it's borderline unplayable nowadays without building up a stash of broken controllers and joysticks, as it's otherwise got the Namco seal of quality stamped on it.

The Verdict

Graphics (8): Don't be mistaken, the slightly lacking personality due to a lack of personable ghosts is pretty much the only nitpick one could argue over. Rally-X's got a lot of meat on it's bones. We've got our first non-racing game that has smooth horizontal and vertical scrolling, for example, as well as introducing a map of sorts on the right of the screen so you can seek out the final flags and enemies pretty handily. That's incredibly innovative! Even though the cars and the mazes themselves look pretty flat, they are beyond acceptable and the cars can spin around smoothly, a subtle yet nice addition.

Sound (8): So for the majority of gameplay time, you're not gonna be enjoying the sounds that much. You got a subtle rumbly tune playing in the background that loops after a very short time and the engine noise isn't gonna wow anyone over who's already played many a racing game before, neither is the crashing sound. Then come the loud jingles and THAT'S where the fun quirks come into play. They got a very similar vibe to Pac-Man's ditties and those were ace, and so are these. It even seems to be the first game I played that actually has a jingle for when you win a level! Thank f*ck. The rest of these are just as good, the game manages to get you in a cheery mood prior to having that smile wiped off of your face.

Fun Factor (4): Nnnnnnooooooo. As i've explained before, the game's difficulty is so ridiculous and the controls so poor, that most players actually attempting to get good at Rally-X have flocked to it's much more forgiving sequel. In fact, i'd recommend playing New Rally-X first and THEN come back to see if you're up to the challenge of this son of a bitch. Man, how unfortunate, this could've been a proper classic if I didn't hate putting myself through the motions for almost a month straight and never getting past stage 6 without using save states.

Oh! The 'charaging' (challenging) stages. Those are boring. You just drive around at double speed without any of the rival cars to sour your day. Quite the opposite to what is supposed to be a challenge, but hey, i'll take it. I still get fucked over due to poor control anyway.

Longevity (8): Oh yeah, this game is looooong. If you're looking to see the full loop, expect to be here forever and ever with 15 stages to traverse. However, I find it a bit disingenous to say that it deserves full marks for swapping the layouts a couple times and calling it a day. The game literally introduces nothing new stage by stage otherwise, outside of one extra car 'till the 8th screen. It's not engaging to keep playing unless you really wanna see what color scheme they come up with next. It's still one of the most expansive games i've played so far obviously, flawed as it is.

Says enough that i'm 13th on the Arcade Archives ranking (undeservedly so since I cheated), while all I did was reach the first stage of the final layout...

In Conclusion

#retro gaming #minuy600 #review #sona #arcade #1980 #namco #rally-x

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mvgnvsvntimvjoris · 6 months

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All the cool "weirder" asks, which is maybe all of them? I dunno, I trust your judgment on which ones are the cool ones

I am SO SORRY, I read the ask, told myself to answer later the same days and managed to forget for ages ! But here it is, at last !!!

Weird asks, the cool ones ? You trust me too much with cool, I don't know how to identify cool !

I'll answer them all ! Thank you @mxcasual !

1 : Who is / are your comfort character(s) ? At the moment it might be Gale from Baldur's Gate 3 ? I need my escapism and he's a guy I'd geniunely be friend with. We would go to fantasy therapy together and do magic.

2 : Lighter or matches ? : Matches, I need that scratch before it ignites, it's a primal need ! Also I am just bad with lighters...

3 : do you leave the window open at night ? : If it's not too cold, yes, bring me that outside AIR

4 : which cryptyd being do you believe in ? Sadly none ? I wish for mothman tho, they seem pretty cool

5 : what color are your eyes ? Boring blue, YAWN

6 : why did you do that ? I don't know !

7 : hair-ties or scrunchies ? Scrunchies all the way, velvety black ones if possible

8 : how many water bottles are in your room right now ? Two, one empty and one full !

9 : which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee ? I tried both in various combination and I just don't like coffee when it's not in relation to desserts.

10 : would you slaughter the rich ? Yes

11 : favorite extracurricular activity ? Dreaming ?

12 : what kind of day is it ? I thought we were sunday but it's saturday night

13 : when was the last time you ate ? An hour ago, maybe two ?

14 : do you love the smell of earth after it rains ? Yes, and it drives me mad that I've lost my sense of smell years ago (not covid related, way before that).

15 : are you a parent ? Yes, of two cats, I wish I was a better parent to them

16 : can you drive ? Yes, had to !

17 : are you farsighted or nearsighted ? I never remember which one, but I have glasses !

18 : what hair products do you use ? uuuh Shampoo

19 : imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails ? Absolutely, but don't you dare painting mines, I hate the feeling of it, I have to scratch it off really quick

20 : do you say soda or pop ? Neither, here we say the drink's brand and that's it

21 : something you’ve kept since childhood ? Everything I could, but as one exemple a piece of a door handle I broke. Still have it. I like it.

22 : what type of person are you ? I don't know how to describe myself at all, I'm sorry

23 : how do you feel about chilly weather ? I love it but it doesn't and has me on a hit list.

24 : if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing ? Watching the sunset or the stars, either talking or enjoying silence together

25 : perfume/body spray or lotion ? None ? Allergy is a bitch and strong smells are deadly

26 : a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times ? IRL ? Because I'd have to answer : Failing at something

27 : about how many hours of sleep did you get ? Oh no, uh well last night was a mess, got 2 hours and I'm about to explode because of it

28 : do you wear a mask ? Yes

29 : how do you like your shower water ? Not too hot, barely body temperature, just enough

30 : is there dishes in your room ? No !

31 : what type of music keeps you grounded ? Classical, shits make me cry almost all of the time

32 : do you have a favorite towel ? I have one, my own, not really favorite just here to do the job !

33 : the last adventure you’ve been on ? Going to a concert in another country by car, does it count ?

34 : is there a song you know every word to by heart ? Way too many, sometimes I don't even like the song, but it's engraved. I need brain space but the songs won't go

35 : what’s your timezone ? uuuh, CET ? It's 10pm right now

36 : how many times have you changed your url ? I think twice, because I had a christmas one once

37 : someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years ? My oldest friend, went to school together when we were 12 and still being gentle annoyance to each other ! Also I'm pretty sure i have tumblr mutuals who count too

38 : a soap bar that smells good ? I don't know : ( loved lavender

39 : do you use lip balm ? No, can't stand the texture on my lips, has to get rid of it immediately...

40 : did you have any snacks today ? No, but I had two meals ! (little victories)

41 : how do you take your coffee ? I don't

42 : an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site ? Instagram, another godforsaken site

43 : what’s your take on spicy foods ? I like it a lot, my stomach likes it less :o)

44 : you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it ? Uuuh....********* ******

45 : can you remember what happened yesterday ? A bit ? Showed a monsters book to my oldest niece, then I watched her play minecraft while I played Animal Crossing, made dinner, talked with the fam, watched 3 hours documentaries on the weather, then movie critics, then I fell asleep.

46 : favorite holiday film ? I...by default I think Nightmare Before Christmas ? But that's more because I first saw it when I was a kid (like 6 ?), a familly friend gave it to us as a Christmas movie and VHS's opening short film kind of traumatized me ? I love it for halloween now tho

47 : what was the last message you sent ? "La lumière t'attend !"

48 : when did you first try an alcohol beverage ? Well one christmas when I was a child (no idea the age, around 7 ?), family left and I tried to finish a red wine glass, it was disgusting

49 : can you skip rocks ? YES, it's so fun ! Been years !!

50 : can i tag you in random stuff ? Of course !

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skinni-girls-eat-books · 12 days

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Saturday, April 13th, 2024!

8:19pm: Had a quick exchange with him again. Nothing has changed and I don't want to be obsessed with his socials again tbh. I still don't really get the whole "I'm so busy" thing when that was his #1 complaint with me. Like I actually don't understand, being busy is not a flex tbh. Being on your grind is 100% a flex but that goes with work hard play hard. Just saying you're busy makes you sound like an ass 😂 whatever I don't understand anything about him anymore.

I don't want to see his socials anymore because 1) it's all fake af. 2) it makes me wonder why he couldn't change for me, but in REALITY (the real world where I reside) he hasn't changed, his life got 100x easier. No rent, a more basic bitch that doesn't expect anything from him and is weird, and free weed, everyone giving him a ride everywhere (he doesn't even have to drive ever wtf), and everyone just treats him like a spoiled child. Yes..... I'm sure it IS easy to have an emergency fund when you live with your parents for free..... Wtf do you even need an emergency fund for? Wtf kind of emergency are you having, you run out of gas (omg wait he doesn't even drive so what am I talking about) scratch that.... The only emergencies I had living with my parents had to do with my car like..... Jesus I wish that was the fucking case nowadays 💀 Omg why am I even comparing the two of us. I feel like I just snapped back to reality, this guy is still acting like a high schooler. We are literally not able to be compared anymore. I really don't give myself enough credit for doing this shit on my own (really) for 6 months. Let's see your emergency savings after that, dumbass. Stfu. I'm not trying to be mean but we are not the same. I'm about to be done grinding, I've grinded for 7 yrs I'm tired AF. I'll say it again being busy is not a flex.

11:25pm: Ugh he just pisses me off because he's a fucking liar. You can reach me anytime my ass why does he keep saying that when it's not true. What a fuck up. I hate him

2:47am: Well I was on the phone with him for three hours oops probably just fucked up my karma big time. Ugh I need this semester to enddddd. Too much sitting around time, not enough leaving the house to meet new ppl time :/ likeeee I've said a million times and need to remind myself, I don't want to be the reason they break up. Also he said he's planning on moving out with her in 4 months so September? Damn they would've been together a whole year. He said it only feels like it's been a month for him and literally his stuff is still packed up in boxes like wtf. I guess that'll just make it easier to move. Well good for him he sounds like he's really on track for a good life. Idk literally whenever I ask him about her, it's never like super positive. Maybe he just likes that he constantly has something to complain about? I have no idea. He said she's clingy, but sometimes it's too much. And he always says it's ups and downs with them. He sounds like he's really changed, but he says he can't go through breaking another person's heart. Maybe he knows I'm bullshitting him. He also says he is just too embarrassed to get back together with me and have to see my family again, etc. Sounds like he's making the best out of a fucked up situation tbh. During the call, I kept calling him out whenever he would say things that were literally stringing me along, because he didn't know what I was talking about when I mentioned it. He didn't realize how much he was leading me on with the things he's saying until I very clearly pointed it out. All that stuff I texted him must've actually done something too, because it's stuck with him about disrespecting his gf.

Long story short...... I think he's actually gonna change for her if I leave him alone lol. He just gets to live with the fact that he fucked up being with me forever. Making the best of his shit situation. Tbh those antidepressants probably made a huge impact. Glad he got the help he needed. Idk man I guess he's done with me now, he seems pretty done, except for the part where he pulled his dick out again and told me he wanted to stick his dick in my mouth. But whatever.

Actually the part that hurt me the most was when he said she's been his best friend for two years like... The worst part for him was me telling him I let a guy play with my boobs over spring break and one tiny tear rolled down his cheek. Plus I ended up lying since he asked me if someone had been in our bed and I told him no because I could tell that would've really upset him. I think he would've hung up. Also couldn't tell him that yeah someone else had met the cats and pet them. I said what are you gonna do and he .... Clearly isn't going to do anything. Lame.

Longer story short: I need to stop butting in to this mess ig. Makes my stomach hurt tbh. Too much studying today made my brain go crazy. I'm really frazzled tbh. Honestly kinda pissed off all I wanted him to do was help me with the bills and now he's magically able to save $500 a week somehow. Jesus Christ wtf was he spending it on before. I'll never know. Makes me sick to my stomach actually. And it's not magic, it's what he should've been able to do all along, he just wanted to be a little bitch before.

This has stirred up a lot of emotions that I kind of hate. He can't control himself around me fucking bullshit I don't get it. So much of him sounds good but then he does something icky like that. Idk anymore. I'm tired and talking to him has actually just made things worse, not better. End of story.

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wh-da-backup · 5 months

Text

lyric scraps 8/1/13

5/23/13 you went to saturday night's party and woke up on sunday's floor

5/14/12 i expected you to speak as i dream i'm sorry understand i say things as a friend and sometimes more than

my noose was your tongue the words were sending out but the connection hung

5/16/12 four years down the road or four years down the drain drawing blood from my veins and pictures of my brain

4/25/12 i'm sick of society how they try to measure sins by how great the tragedy and how small the violins

4/26/12 i'm not the favorite anymore and maybe with good cause i sensed you pulling away from me and i took out my claws

6/6/12 i'll drown in your deluge i'm acting like a stooge got nothing left to lose this point in time

5/20/12 when you feel like you need a brother and the mirrors tell you to kill know that tears run thicker than blood and always will

5/28/12 they call me a fool a inconsiderate ass ya know i go to school but i ain't got no class

4/2/12 i'm going to visit the boy i love he speaks to me through he speaks to me through old sound waves not yet rotten i'm going to visit the girl he loved she speaks to me too she speaks to me too dead voices not forgotten

we killed them slowly as we took over we need their bodies it's only instinct they couldn't handle the situations what killed them slowly and scarred their bodies we have their memories

6/1/12 high school queen bee bitch honey has she seen me? does she think it's funny?

7/5/12 i can feel something restless and waiting inside of me maybe it's anxiety or anticipation or maybe it's pee i count all the liquids in my life face moisturizer and water and key lime juice and an aqueous solution of coffee in the morning

5/30/12 you can say i'm old even without you you smell like a dissection your words are cutting too

5/31/12 our cage arcades our cage arcades

10/5/12 parlons, parlons c'est interdit car il n'ya pas de mots ici

reviens, reviens, c'est vrai enfin que les vrais mots n'importent rien

5/10/12 i wanna be your test drive don't forget your gasoline you can rule what hearts you want to let me be your blueprint scheme demo queen

1/11/13 the sound of your voice can disarm me a cat been picked up by the scruff i've known all along you'd never harm me but i guess it just wasn't enough i guess it wasn't enough

10/9/12 you are not my love you walk around in his clothes you walk around in his face but you are not my love we're dying trying to replace

1/13/13 hey dad too bad your rules are made of bread not iron clad

i heard you don't like my hair too much here, wrong color there well guess what, i can still go anywhere, sit in the boss's chair

5/30/13 pomme empoisonnee je vais te faire rester chante pour moi dans la claire de l'une de tes 8/1/13 reves qui sont vrai

4/8/12 he had it figured out in terms of fairytales

and when he tried for wonderland he didn't think of you

and when you tried to understand

and if you try to follow him you'll just be split in two

4/30/12 she's bleach, she's ice, she's milk and candy queen of tragic hearts like yours she never asked for any trouble shredding flowers on all fours

pills and poultice kicking stomachs underwater leaden petals bite if you dare but make it swift bite all you want but only if

drawing faces everywhere, an audience of millions' stares

6/4/12 i feel like the past year's a waste i know i've traveled the world but i'm worse or the same

i'm sure you've heard that there's plenty of fish in the sea but i hide in my shell; you're allergic to me

3/21/13 sleeping like a beauty queen found the spindle at age 16 decided she would join the team said this is better than any dream

4/6/13 all calmed down and jaded and my scars already faded should i make new what should i do?

4/6/13 music is her sustenance she lives on jupiter and mars

2/18/13 i showed up and the entire party was passed out- now that's what i call the collective unconscious!

april/13 "ex box" i'll put you in a box with my mistakes love letters, memories, old tapes and hopefully in 10 more years i will not sit here playing couldabeen

3/17/13 fall apart but don't fall off

3/18/13 i knew all your favorites and i thought i made the list

you gave me so much but i have nothing left of you

you don't have a clue you don't give a shit do you not even about the few who even deign to talk to you

3/28/13 trust your instincts if he seems like bad news then you better call the papers on him

4/10/12 my body's wooden and man-made am i ripe for the fire am i meant to be saved when i lie there is consequence i lie against my will but i don't want to be a real boy real boys only kill

1/3/12 (poem thing- it was on my phone and i kept forgetting about it)

what drives this endless cycle in our lives? sleep deprivation all work and no play it's only survival in a way

what gives? the story is sad but true my friend it may seem crazy but in the end the lunatic is the one that lives

7/25/13 when i say i've lost my mind can't tell if it's gone or just something i can't find

7/22/13 say so many things at once that for a moment i can forgive and forget myself

6/27/13 and to be honest i think i'm kind of ugly but i don't care and to be honest i think i'd probly kiss you if you were here

and now you're 19, it seems so strange how we would freak out all the time and talk to ease the pain and when we're 30, please don't forget me

5/26/13 sharpened pencil and liar's skin i tried to fight back i got all the guilt you lack i've been taught to let people like you win fuck that

1/21/13 take your medicine (take it with a grain of salt)

your voice of reason doesn't talk here comes the lady made of clock- work, time for your electric shocks

2/13/13 and our time wasn't wasted like i wish i were tonigh

2/17/13 you grew and clipped my wings time and time again you made me learn how to get by on my own mind just far enough to be alright i'm ready

the change will come and will occur and i will learn from changing

5/22/12 i wanna sit in a room for hours and play you all my songs especially the ones about you but not even my closest friends pay attention for very long

3/6/13 the sight of the pacific- california i wrote some words specifically for ya

3/10/13 i refuse to comb my hair more power to my righteous mop i'll put a sign says please don't stare right over your sign says i must be stopped

3/15/13 stripped of the words you hear and now my teeth are bare 3/12 offend because it's there

3/14/13 empty stomach sleep 3/15 i choke on wool, lose count of sheep

3/15/13 i make my promises to break… they're not your dreams to take

lay and lose my head i fall, land screaming in my bed neurapparatus, nightmare plague the cause is rather vague

3/23-24/13 "waltz time" my parents are pretty my sisters are pretty my weird friends from school grew up normal and cool

how come i have to live with my failures, my faults it's like life is in 4/4 and all i can do is the waltz

5/25/13 i stepped on a rose and sprinkled the sidewalk with blood from my toes

3/8/13 "home groan" i dreamed that someday i'd get to walk in the sun but i wasn't even playing outside when it went down

6/16/13 you taught me every lie i've ever known you told me to fit in or be alone but look how i've survived and how i've grown in spite of you

you said i'd reached developmental halt that all the crimes against me were my fault so i became numb bleeding out my shame with only me to blame or so i thought wrong

i will flourish free of your flaws your flaws are not my problem my flaws are not yours to harm me with

6/26/13 i wouldn't call it small talk because you're all talk

let's light up some neural circuits

6/7/13 i had to jump ship, it got too weighed-down to float i took off in the dinghy with the songs that i wrote…

i had to jump ship, it got too heavy to float and maybe we should kiss just to shut up our ghosts i don't care one way or another, but we came so close all those years ago

we'll report back to captain karo on our empty boat

(cause you know whatever happens you know we got her vote)

4/22/13 in this great ablation nation

4/28/13 no one appreciates so we inondate run out and replicate,

overcompensate

cry exterminate

we've run out of things to say you're full of air,

flatten like souffle

- if you don't, i may

mere exposure, love you cause you're there

4/23/13 changes of mind come in liquids and pills

you can't even start to tell the difference between a change of mind and a change of heart

6/11/13 we've got lines upon lines of no sleeping and papers for the final review you just seem to keep on keeping but me i just don't know what to do i have no clue

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kittenlover614 · 1 year

Text

Sorry for anyone who does read this. This is going to be a really long post.

I don't normally like to put my family drama out in public, but I'm really pissed off at my mom. So some background, my parents got divorced in 2012, right when I started 5th grade. I didn't know what was going on. One day I was just being a kid minding my own business, next thing I know my dad is moving out and going to live with his parents. I was upset since I always had a better relationship with my dad.

At some point in High school, my dad got an apartment to be closer to me and my sister. Meanwhile, my mom is getting married to a friend, Mike, of her cousin's husband. Btw my mom's side of the family has a history of divorce so said cousin was remarried to said husband while I was in 5th grade. My dad thinks my mom was cheating on him before the divorce with this guy, Mike, and she says otherwise, so idk nor do I care.

I never liked my new step dad. He's always drunk and partying, and he has no idea how to take care of kids, especially considering I was a teenager and my sister would soon be in middle school. My mom was always trying to get me and my sister to get along with Mike and kinda push us away from dad. My dad wasn't really helping either cause he'd say terrible things about my mom. He was an angry man which is understandable considering he tried to make the marriage work and my mom didn't care.

Anyway, eventually it gets to college admissions. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and currently regret my college choices. I should have went with something in art, but I chose forensics since I had a fascination with it at the time. I also chose a small college that was 6 hours away from home by driving. The pandemic just started when I got to college too. All three of those things made college hard and I got really depressed, so I dropped out in the middle of my third year which was at the end of 2021.

Now, I'm struggling to pay my loans and get a better job. I finally had an interview last week that looks promising. My mom was pissed at me all last year for not getting a full-time job as if it's easy to get one. The whole time I'm living with her, I feel like I'm not being listened to, supported, and I'm being left out a lot. She never called or texted me to see how I was in college. My dad called and texted me every week while I was in college, sometimes to my annoyance.

In October, we had an argument which ended with her telling me I had a week to pack up and go live with my dad. I asked her if she loved me and if she'd even miss me cause it felt like she wouldn't. She told me to stop try to manipulate her. Ever since I moved out, she has not called or texted me once. I've texted her, but I'd barely get a conversation out. The only part I hate about living with my dad is he's kinda transphobic, but that's for another post.

Now, my sister is still living with her to my worry. She's in the process of getting college applications out now. She has her license and a car, unlike me. She is also more sociable than I am, with a lot friends and even a boyfriend. I'm not so worried about her feeling alone, but I'm afraid she'll be dropped by my mom. My mom is also trying to move to Virginia because living in New York is costly.

Ever since I moved out, my mom has been on 3 vacations. A week trip to Virginia to look at neighborhoods, a three day trip to D.C., and now this easter week, a trip to Florida. She doesn't tell me about these trips, doesn't invite me, nothing. I only find out when my dad gets an email about it from my mom.

TL;DR: My mom's a bitch and she didn't tell me or ask if I wanted to go on yet another vacation she's going on with my sister ever since she kicked me out to go live with my dad.

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

Text

12/20/22

Well hello, robo-followers. This week I got like 6 follows from what are clearly bots. Is this new? I don't know, I've only been here a few months. Fucking obnoxious. It's 2022, almost 2023, major record labels can accurately recognize song patterns with just seconds of audio data... and we can't figure out how to like... not let bots make accounts on websites. I don't want to get too political, I'm just gonna touch on two points here. There's really no justification for a user account to be owned and used by a computer program. Programs are not users, they can't agree to legal contracts, they are not held liable to legal contracts, so I have no clue why this is something that a Turing test is not like... mandatory for... And, my second... and I feel much more important point. It should not under any circumstances be legal for a computer program to threaten legal action against a person or business. I can't stress how strongly I feel about this line in the sand. So... I hope we start to see some changes in the next few years, especially in fields that are reserved for... arts and humanities. Human shit. The things that make our species... human. User accounts are supposed to be reserved for personal use of individuals, and representative of that user's actions, not a few pages of code. Legal action (strikes, reports, claims, etc.) are way too nuanced to be identified, confirmed and acted upon without human verification. I'm tired of multi-billion dollar corporations being lazy about this shit. You have the budget, you have the reach, you have the technology, please set a good example and stop making the users, creators and consumers suffer.

Okay, bitching out of the way, lets get to the good shit. Today was... wait for it... a good day! Holy fuck!

Hold on, I'll be right back, I made cookies. =D

Mmmmmm.

Alright, so today... I decided to try out a time management app. I don't want to get too excited just yet, it's just day one, but I do have to say it helped quite a bit. It's called Owaves, it's a scheduling app but it's like... really visual, and simple. So many scheduling/time management apps I've tried are really text-heavy and look like fucking homework or something. There's something that just subconsciously turns me off and stresses me out with that, especially on days I'm super overwhelmed. But this was really sleek and pretty and simple. So, I just threw some stuff on it while I was in bed. Coffee/cat food/breakfast/shower, plan groceries, get groceries, unpack groceries, yoga, skate, dinner, work, bed. Pretty straight forward. I gave myself wiggle room to get distracted or derailed - which I did on literally every single one - and tried to just have it serve as a... guideline, I guess. Like a sketch for a drawing.

So yeah, got really tunnel-visioned in grocery/meal planning, got a list together, went off to the grocery store like 40 minutes later than I was planning. Car was covered in snow and ice, had to dig it all off with my damn hands. It's not my car, I'm still driving the fucking rental, the dealership hasn't even called me personally back to tell me when the parts are coming in. Its been like... I don't even know, 3 weeks now? Like... I legit feel like I'm getting scammed here. Like, I feel like I should be talking to a lawyer. Anyway... I got the snow off and... my gas light was on. So I got gas, went grocery shopping. It was way more expensive than I was expecting, and it was only like 3 bags of groceries. Seriously. Since when are 3 bags of groceries $250? Like... I'm just one dude, and I don't eat as much as I should. I cook in bulk, I buy stuff on the cheaper side... Ugh. I feel for those of you with big households, I'm really sorry for how hard all of this must be for you.

I went home, unpacked the stuff and immediately did yoga. See, on the way back... I scoped out the rotary park... and it was not shoveled at all. Not even one bit. It was perfect. So I jumped right on the mat, and Max started stalking... and was like... doing what she does when she's getting ready to attack my legs. So... I paused and went and tried to play with her. But she didn't play... it was very confusing. So I went back to yoga, restarted the video and... she did it again! I felt myself getting upset, so I redirected into play again and after a few minutes it actually worked. She played for the first time since we've been here! I'm really happy about that. And now that I look over at her, she's been sleeping on my old jacket, which probably still smells like the old house. She's probably homesick, or confused. It would make sense. She lived there for like... a third of her life? That's a lot, you know. She does seem to really love it here, but I think she's still settling in. But seeing her play, when she has osteoarthritis, hypothyroidism and kidney disease was like... it just made my heart soar. Even if she was just laying on her side and playing.

I went back to yoga, the feline queen permitted me to do so, and it was really nice. The same routine again, and I'm getting a feel for it. And again, it's crazy how much my hips and neck open up with it. I think my back is going to take more work to get the rust out of the hinges, but slow progress is still progress.

I smoothed out the bottom of my board, tuned it up, that's my new routine thing for snowskating now. I have no idea why I never did it in the past. The bottom is like... some kind of thick plastic coating, so if you skate over rocks, gravel, or dig a bit too deep and hit pavement or whatever, it will scratch and leave grooves in the bottom of the board which kill your speed. I mean that, there's really no feeling quite like riding a brand new off-the-line snowskate, that kind of speed is like... enjoy it, because you're never gonna feel it again! XD But cutting the grooves out and sanding the bottom with 100, 400 and 1500 grit pads really help a lot. Obviously it's not perfect, but it makes a big difference.

I hit up the park. The snow was about... 3-4 inches deep? Soft powder with a very thin crust on it. Very good conditions. Unfortunately, prepping the snow was pretty necessary, and that eats up a lot of your muscle endurance when you're skating alone. It's decent warm-up, but... ugh. So I did a little flatground to warm-up and headed over to the 2-set. I was determined to land the shuvit down the stairs today. I ollied it a few times no problem. But my shuvs kept going wide. I was just like... not catching them right. You really have to have your landing straight with snowskates, there's a lot that can make you just stop right in your tracks. I tried a dozen times, shifting my back foot position, trying to focus on front foot catch, trying to focus on watching the board mid-air. I got really close over and over but... nothing. And then it hit me... a realization I had last time. I need to practice landing at speed.

As I walked up to the top of the hill, I was musing on how just riding and ollieing at speed is like... some of the most useful practice you can do all-around for snowskating. For real. You get really comfortable on your board, used to "carving"... let's just say "board-handling", when and how to push, learning what conditions you can carry speed in and what you can't, and what you need to do to carry it. But the ollies really make the difference. Not just learning the different ollie position for snowskating, with your toes right at the very edge of the tail, but landing. Because landing on a snowskate can feel like jumping onto an ice skating rink in shoes sometimes. The more you get used to that feeling, the easier it is to stick... well... every goddamn trick period. Ollie is a bit easier because the board comes with you, but... the landing is the same low-friction slip-fest as landing any other trick.

So, I bombed the hill and found a good natural kicker right before the benches where I had been skating flatground, about half-way down the hill. It was a decent hill, I could carry speed well enough, it even had some sections where I could pump so I didn't have to kick as much. And I started just bombing down and seeing how far I could ollie. The biggest one was about 6 feet. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed it. So, after I got that ollie down, I went back over to the 2-set, ollied it like it was a crack in a sidewalk and did a few shuvit tries and... landed it. Yep. It's like... a baby trick, on a baby stairset, but... I had tried that trick like 25 times this week, at least. Riding away was just... such a good feeling. I was beaming walking back to get a drink of water. Then I bomb-dropped the 4-set, and that wasn't bad at all. It's gonna take a bit for me to get brave enough to ollie that, but I think it should happen this year. That'll be the biggest stairset I've ollied... ever. On anything. And there's a 6-set at the park too, if I start to get really fucking brave, and it's steeper too, so less to clear, but the catch there is... the landing is about 25 feet and then it's right into traffic, so if my board shoots out... no bueno.

Oh, then I landed a moving kickflip. First one of the year. Didn't carry a lot of speed, but still cool. And then on my way out I tried a big spin and actually got really close. Like I stuck it but underrotated and had to sorta powerslide to cheat it a bit, but that was a personal NBD. I've done fakie big spin before, but not regular. I think big spins might actually be easier than 3 shuvs, at least on a snowskate. I'm gonna keep trying them, I just.. once again... need to practice landing. And for that one, I need to practice landing switch, which is a whole other can of worms.

But all-in-all, that was a really good session and I'm really glad I went. Super glad I did yoga first, I would've been a wreck if I didn't.

Chinese leftovers for dinner, cookies for dessert. Spent the rest of the night eating (I eat really slowly, I'm noticing it's a pretty big problem with my schedule) and watching videos on wire-wrapped jewelry and stuff. I want to take that small quartz piece I worked on the other day and put it on a ring, I think that would be sick. I'm just not sure how. I really struggle to visualize these wire pieces, it's weird. I can visualize mandala stuff easy (when I do), zentangle style I tend to just... do without thinking, and the realism stuff I usually use reference. Trying to come up with a custom wire design feels similar to like... you know those metal puzzles you get at hobby shops or whatever? Where you have to like get a ring off of a bent metal shape or like, figure out how to untangle two entwined metal shapes the right way? I feel like I'm making one of those. And my brain just starts shooting sparks sometimes. So, my counter to that has been to look for inspiration, and just put my own detail work on it, my own embellishments. I found some cool designs that I'll probably come back to tomorrow or something. I didn't actually get anything hands-on done today, but that's okay, research is still work. I did find a video on pricing jewelry, which was really helpful, and definitely applies to my other artwork as well.

Hell, since I'm on it, let's go into this weird thought. So... people seem to think when they're paying for artwork that they're just like... helping the artist recoup the cost of supplies. People I've talked to, at least. They really don't do the math on like... labor... skilled labor, that is... And my work, well... it varies. So let's touch on the two topics one at a time so I don't forget because I 100% will.

Supplies - Since college... well... actually since before that, if I'm being honest... I have been making art on pretty much fucking everything. Mostly cardboard, but also scraps of wood, sheets of lined paper, whatever the fuck I was either close to at the time or called to me. A lot of my art evolved into this concept of beautifying things that were destined to sit around and collect dust... or fated to be thrown in a landfill. But it wasn't really a conscious thought so much, it was just... "Oh, I want to do this piece and... that piece of wood over there, I could see it on that." Or the reverse, when I stumble across a piece of cardboard or something and go "oh, I could see a cool abstract design right here, etc. etc." I strayed from using traditional art supplies so much that in drawing class, I made my own paint pens with shoe polish applicators and acrylic paint so I could use the same paint I was using for painting class. Don't get me wrong, I still bought paint, I still bought Micron pens, I still bought Prismacolor pencils. There's no real substitute for that. And once I found the combination of Bristol paper and Micron pens, and Prismacolor pencils... *chef's kiss*. That's a lovely place to draw. So what I'm kinda saying is... my supply cost has never been that high at all. Sometimes, especially with like... carving found pieces of wood or shaping found stone... the supply cost is like... fractions of pennies, or nothing at all. It's almost not even worth calculating.

Labor - That leads into this tricky bitch. I tend to work slow. I always have, I always will, it's just what I do. It's my speed. Let's use my profile picture piece for example. That one, at the point of the picture, was over 40 hours in. I had it documented, I streamed the entire process of drawing it. So... say a friend really wants that piece. And they think my skills are worth the wage of a $20/hour job. Which is literally a McDonald's wage right now. So... hi, self-worth, let's try $25 so I don't feel like the past 15 years were a waste of time. It's a start. So $25 x 40 = $1000. Not including materials... and, as we said, that's a tricky one because like... how do you charge for one sheet of paper and fractions of pencils? How do you even do the math on that? Welp, Strathmore says their sheets of Bristol are about $0.50 each. Let's assume the pencils are around the same, so let's make that an even dollar. Double that shit so I can recoup my losses. Wow, we're adding 2 dollars, woohoo! $1002. Now we're at wholesale prices. So, I'm supposed to double that again for my friend. That's my sales price, even to friends. $2004. And then, if market value should be higher because, you know... it feels like it should be valued higher... then I can adjust that accordingly.

I'm going to say this out loud (in text), it feels weird talking about this. But here's the rub, and probably the reason it feels weird to talk about it. I WAS NEVER TAUGHT THIS. No one has really even had a discussion with me about this! I learned this shit literally tonight, from a handmade jewelry artist in Canada on YouTube. I did 3 years as an art major, I worked as an artist's assistant with an internationally renown artist and I was never actually taught how to value and sell my own art. I am 30 fucking 6. I have been doing art professionally for 15 years. And I don't know how to price my shit. And I'm worried people will rip me off. Because literally everyone I have done work for has ripped me off and taken advantage of my compulsive generosity, humility and self-sacrifice. So... maybe that's the reason I don't have a successful, flourishing career? XD Ya think?!

So yeah, if you're an art educator, please go to your department head or whatever and sit them down and insist that they teach art students how to value and price their own work. At least to get a ballpark. At very least what I covered here. And please stress that there aren't rules to this shit, that you can go high as the sky if people want to pay that - and if someone wants to pay that much in appreciation of art, there should be no negative feelings around that.

So yeah, I guess I'm saying this because I remember people watching me make this owl piece on Twitch and they just... didn't really seem to value the training and skill that went into it? They thought I was just doing it as a hobby or something? Which is really fucking strange, and kinda hurts, you know? Maybe they didn't access enough brain cells to even get that far in their train of thought. But I'm just gonna level... I don't think a single person that went "wow, that's amazing!" when they dropped by my stream would be willing to pay full price. Even if they knew how many hours went into it. I doubt they'd be willing to pay half-price. And that's the kind of feeling and vibe that sends artists who like... enjoy food and shelter and all that... into this frantic mode of like... "what else can I do?" "What different can I do?" "What outside of my natural inspiration and creative drive can I do to accommodate to cheap people who buy bargain bin knockoff shit from factories in China?" "Can I scan this and sell a cheap print version for a fraction of the cost?" "Can I get them to subscribe to Patreon for $5/month and have my piece gather dust for 2 years?" "How can I sell out and still maintain my artistic integrity?"

Ugh, this is what happens when I get into the sales and business side of... my business. I fucking hate it. I'm not made for this shit. Give me a piece of wood and I'll carve cool shit in it for 6 hours. Give me a raw stone and I'll sand it down into a beautiful faceted centerpiece. Give me inspiration and I'll spin you gold from hay. But I cannot say this enough times. I'm so fucking tired of saying it. I. Am. Not. A. Salesman. This shit straight up stresses me out.

Aaaaaand I actually managed to lose my own interest! *standing ovation* Well done, me! Enough of that economic sales and marketing garbage, good lord. I just want to make cool shit. I really really hope that someday I'm lucky enough to have someone knowledgeable in my life - a partner, an assistant, a mentor, whatever - who enjoys that kind of stuff, who I trust, who can take over so I can just focus on creating. That and marketing are the missing pieces that would make me flourish.

Anywho, wasn't planning to get into this shit, thus is the nature of stream of consciousness. Today was a good day, lot of accomplishments, and I don't want to get bogged down by this whole "hermit can't sell his art because he still gets super overwhelmed around people" thing. Don't wanna lose sight of what today was about. Pushing outside of my comfort zone and finding great accomplishments and rewards for doing so. And cookies. =D

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts #snowskating #selling art

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jdmainman123 · 2 years

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And again white Mike's family has been buried by white hair white skin men demonstrating SIGNS OUTSIDE AND ARE WE REALIZE WHAT THE WHITE HAIR WHITES COME IN HAVE BEEN DOING SMILING. A SMILE WITH SMART ASS SMILE. YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A NICE CAR YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A CLEAN P****

But from far away the satellite it's it's indeed the same trick with the girls from far away it's pressing the same button THE EMBARRASSMENT BUTTON IS WHAT WE CALL THAT THE EMBARRASSMENT BUTTON

And it's it's signaling the same thing we have the records here it would be the black skin man's girlfriend the white hair white skin men THAT'S RIGHT WHEN I CALLED MIKE OUT AND FORCED HIM TO BE MY B****bitch

But again the cowardice nature of these actions of cut out cut off dicks we are going to honor cut out eyes and we're going to start now cutting out the white hair white skin men and boys eyes because the integration is forcing me to call how do you cut off black skin dicks and the boys have picked up stab him in his dick while he's sleeping

And again we called off to cut out eyes incident because their dear friends of mine and family of mine for this for someone to wish this upon them I didn't understand but now we have the reason why you guys brought it to my attention how do we cut off black dicks? So now we are in full throttle to authorize cut out the white hair white skin people's eyes

And this one is a glad you said it.

And more importantly let me remind you the white hair white skin man is filling in for the white hair white skin girls or just the black girls AND AGAIN THE SATELLITE IS PRESSING THE SAME BUTTON WHICH IS THE ACTION DENT WE WERE LOOKING FOR IS IT A GIRL OR IS IT A BOY

And again this only happens in black skin neighborhood they are really adamant about killing all the white skin boys outside and their their show ended their display NOW THAT THEY CAN'T HIDE WHY THE WHITE HAIR WHITE SKIN TRANSGENDER IS HANGING OUT HANGING AROUND BLACK SKIN MEN BECAUSE THERE CAN BE NO A WHITE SKIN GIRLS AROUND THEM OUTSIDE just a bunch of dogs in heat whistling you know shaking hands and smiling just really weird to see you guys should really be in prison and for someone to give you houses has been an accident and will always be an accident

AND WHEN WE CALLED THIS YACHT FISH HERE INTEGRATION AND ANTECEDENT #REPORT LISTENING TO THE BLACKSKINS CONVERSATIONS CARRYING THE INTEGRATION IN CARS OR IN PERSON. HAS BEEN THE MOST BORING AND DEPRESSING CONVERSATIONS I'VE EVER HAD AND TO FURTHER THIS WE ARE SAYING SLEEPING BABIES WERE GENIUS AND WE'RE OUR LIFE SAVIORS IT WOULD BE MY PROGRAM WHY SLEEPING BABIES WERE MADE BECAUSE THE BOYS REFUSE TO BE BORN AND THEN WHEN YOU WAKE UP THEY HAVE A THE 10-IN PENIS AND ARE LIKE 10 YEARS OLD ready to kill as virgins is why we're such why we're so much better if you want to make a real impact you kill the white skin boy that's a virgin not some little f****** n***** that's a disgusting and people are like man I'm glad that little virgin black skin boy is dead

Now they're they're back they're still sabotaging my report if only you guys were not afraid of white men white skin men and we could have been talking about white skin men. Your sabotage attack would have worked just FYI but since you're fear and your extortion forces us to talk about black skin men and not white skin men if we were talking about white skin then you're sabotage attack would have worked

And and again you guys got like six days to talk trash and then we're back alive and I can't wait to see these blacks in a real live white skin audience

Yes other words working around the clock to have me talk about blackskin people on my tablet and make black skin jokes and harass me really just stick a black skin man on every corner and what happened today the dead n***** daughter showed up driving around in her pedophile car you know the black skin girl with the loser face I've never seen a black skin girl loser AND LET ME REMIND YOU GUYS GOT ABOUT 6 MORE DAYS OF THIS B******* HAVE HAVE HIM WRITE BLACK JOKES AND HAVE THEM WRITE BLACK JOKES AND HAVE THEM WRITE BLACK JOKES

And because of the sabotage I would have worked with white skin men but if you guys weren't such cowards and extorted it would have worked

Like today it's just how much you guys needed me hashtag needed me for you guys to continue to attack one man for all the blacks to be spread out in a satellite City to tell the story of what happened here I just hope my white skin people take notice and smash their f****** faces in it's an embarrassment how much you guys are bothering one man to tell a story and and the translation is thankfully for me it's the original version and every other version falls under it SO WE'RE GLAD THAT JASON THING DID NOT WORK

But again for you guys to go extra hard and continue to gross me out to have black skin boys follow a white skin boy around the city and at your campaign I need to kill all my kids I'm going to send black skin boy fully unaware he's not supposed to be following the white skin boy with the white skin girl

And that's all you have offer when you customize black skin kids and send them in another city that's the only offering that you gave us there's no other reason why you made black skin boys for another city other than oh mine listens to orders and he'll follow a white skin boy with a white skin girl around the city and you know if that's the only offering

But more importantly the white hair white skin men hashtag report #911 have begin filling in the roles where the girls should be standing

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softesthobi · 4 years

Text

love it when sexism :)

#it's been a while since i've felt this belittled as a woman wow #so my car is broken and i text this dude who fixes cars and who my parents mostly use when we have car issues #so as my parents are away i got his number and my dad was like text him and tell him you've got this problem #and my dad messaged the dude as well around the same time as i did #so now my dad tells me that he told him that yeah lol the car works normally starts just fine #which it ummmm.... did not when it stopped and didn't start right in the middle of traffic lights #and my grandpa had to tow it away with his friends (mind you he couldn't start it either)#but it does randomly work yes if you give it 30 mins... 3 days... yeah it might start #but it's not fun when it decides not to jskdfksdf #and this car fixer dude literally did not reply to my texts..... in no way implied he had seen them #and apparently he's been checking it today???? without telling me????? but telling my dad who's abroad and can't call from there #and messages me on whatsapp to tell me that yeah the fixer dude tried the car jskdjfksdk #my dad's just telling me to text the fixer dude and give him the details on the issue but if the dude doesn't take me seriously...#what's the point going through my dad who doesn't know the issue and hasn't seen the car instead of me who was literally there #he just thinks like oh a little girl can't start a car wow #like bitch........ i've been driving that car for 6 years #(3 years on the road since i got my license)#ig i have to text him but i'd prefer to call or meet up so i can explain it better and i won't be limited to the letter amount of texts #i kinda wanna learn how to explain the issue perfectly in technical terms to show his ass but also i don't wanna have to do that #bc women shouldn't need to know everything or be specialists on a thing to be taken seriously by men #my thingies

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x-chubby-reader · 3 years

Note

Hello! I'm new to your blog, but I adore it! So, recently, I've been diagnosed with narcolepsy and I was wondering if you'd write something for Iwaizumi, Asahi, and Suga having a plus size gf with narcolepsy? Sorry if it's too much or if you're uncomfortable with it!

A/n - Nonono, your fine. I tried to write Narcolepsy in a way that wasnt really the stereotypical *Randomly falls over, asleep* Please tell me if it isnt accurate so i can edit it. Because I dont have Narcolepsy and have never gone though the condition.😊

Future A/n DEAR LORD I DONT KNOW WHY I TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH I AM SO SORRY JESUS-

Not Prof Read

I don’t think there are any triggers

Lowercase intended

Haikyuu Boys Iwaizumi, Asahi, and Suga with a Narcoleptic plus size reader

Iwaizumi

ngl he was hella confused at first

since you literally didn’t tell him and he somehow didn’t pick up on your symptoms

full on he found out when he was having one of his long daily conversations with you while making lunch

“anyways, could you believe what he did?”

he was met with silence

Iwai literally had a buffer moment before turning around to ask if you were paying attention.

you were sitting there, head rested in your hand and eyes closed

he literally wondered if he talked you to sleep, was voleyball really that boring to you?

after hajime was able to wake you up and have you awake for a few minutes trying to get your thoughts straight, you were finally able to explain it to him

oH so that’s why you were tired all of the time...

light bulb above his head go blink

he suddenly becomes prepared soccer mom

will carry his jacket everywhere to drape over you when you doze off

had anxiety about driving a car because an accident involving narcolepsy in the past? where you need to go?

he got you

“I love you, but your sleeping schedule is fucked up, go to bed at 9pm or god help me-”

Asahi

baby boy also found out later

sis you really need to be telling them about yourself, otherwise they will die from heart attacks-

i mean, you did give him a heart attack

he never really suspected you having anything wrong

asahi just thought that you stayed up late all of the time and your drowsiness was just a consequence of it

but he was not expecting to find you passed out on your floors

he screamed, he literally thought you had died

poor baby-

but it was chivalrous to see this 6 foot man screech like he was a little girl

if only you were conscious enough to see it

literally you only sat down for a moment or two to tie your shoe laces and “hey this kinda comfortable-”

jesus panic texted dadchi-

“hElp y/N is DEAD!-”

“asahi... chill out they’re just narcoleptic...”

how did he never know that?

that’s in the past, now he’s trying to wake you up or at least move you to your bed to be more comfortable

if you get sleep paralysis as a side effect, just call asahi he’ll be there in five

not five minutes, literally five seconds he is speed-

make room in your bed, he will hold your softly sculpted body all night and hum to you

you cant make him leave, and why would you?

Suga

suga was literally the only one who knew what was happening

one of the perks of being from childhood friends to lovers

since he is so use to you dozing off from time to time, he makes some fun out of it

10/10 would dress you up in fancy hats, feather boa’s, and sunglasses

bitch we’re having a fashion show and your the star

ofc he would set it as his lock-screen (its how you find out about his little photo shoots half the time)

sometimes he would try some methods with you to in an attempt to curb your sleepiness

“its your scheduled nap time, get over here-”

cat naps together frequently

he is little spoon change my mind

that right you cant

he knows the drill by now and will go mom mode if you decide that you don’t want to do something

suga is prepared for almost everything

he even put himself on speed dial for you on your phone

and you have used it a lot over the years

he may not look it but homeboy is stronk

istg he literally carried you around town on his back because “you just looked too peaceful to disturb”

you wanted to beat his ass but thanked him, still red in the face

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sery-chan-13 · 3 years

Text

Fights

Chapter 12 of 100 Promises

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Swearing, arguments, talks about panic attacks and I think those are all, let me know if I missed any

"S-sugu... stop it."

He looked at you, shaking, covering your ears. Your eyes were screwed shut, tears dropping off your face, and you wouldn't look up. "Shit, (N/N), you ok?" He asked, walking over to you. "Hm? What's this? Suddenly caring?" Chishiya mocked. "She's having a panic attack you asshole. Get away," Niragi growled at the blonde who still wouldn't get away from you.

Niragi had gotten good at knowing when you were having panic attacks. Some were worse, some were minor, but he'd gotten good at memorizing your triggers and when you were having them. You were experiencing one of the more minor ones right now.

He got closer, noticing you weren't kicking or hitting Chishiya away. Yet, anyways. He kneeled down besides you, grabbing your wrists softly. You slowly opened up your eyes, looking up at him. "You're ok... he's not here. He can't hurt you. You're ok," he whispered, ignoring that Chishiya would use this against him. You nodded, slowly coming out of your state.

A few hours later, you were sitting on the edge of Niragi's bed. "(Y/N), you can't trust him. He's not the kind of guy you should be interested in," Niragi scolded. "But-" you started. "No. no buts. You can't. Especially since you don't want to be known as Chishiya's bitch," Niragi interrupted. His words angered you slightly. Was that really what he thought you were for Chishiya? Maybe because you were... No! He had real interest in you, right?

Right?

"I'm not. I think he has genuine interest. It doesn't feel like when m-"

"(Y/N), he's using you! What part of that do you not understand? He's using as a quick fuck for his own benefit! And you're letting him use your body, gods you're so dumb!"

That was it for you. How could he say something like that? All of your ex boyfriends had sucked, couldn't you have a small bit of joy?

"You know what... fuck you. I don't have to get your approval of every guy I date. I'm allowed to do things, you're not my dad!"

"That's not the point (Y/N) he-"

"I don't care! You didn't have to call me his bitch! And I'm not just letting him use my body, because I'm not! I- I'm not!"

"I get that you're angry, but you have to listen to me. I know what's best for you."

"No you don't! Suguru, I know you're just looking out for me, but please! You don't have to call me names o-or make me feel bad about myself and my decisions!"

"I didn't me-"

"This conversation is over. I'm not doing this. Goodbye."

You left the room quickly, running away. You could hear him chasing after you, but you didn't care. No way you were going to turn around to talk to him. He could go and leave you alone. 'Where can I go... blue!' Your eyes flashed with recognition. You rushed over to the man, grabbing his arm.

"Oh? What's this? (Y/N), you seem in a rush," Last Boss noticed. You squeezed his arm nodding over to the other side of the room. "Ah, Niragi? Is the little mouse looking for a place to hide?" He asked. You nodded, tugging on his shirt. "C'mere," he said, pulling you into his room.

"He won't come in here, promise," he stated, seating you on the bed. "I take my promises very seriously, Last Boss. Don't lie to me," you said. It was true. It had been 12 years you and Niragi had been together. Since you were 15, you'd both made promises. And all 99 were kept. No, don't think about him. You're mad at him, don't think about him. "I'm well aware... anyways what game were you playing this time? Tag? Hide and Seek?" He asked. "No game. We had an argument," you whispered. "Oh... do you.... want to talk about it?" He questioned awkwardly. You looked up, and giggled. The usually stoic man was having trouble. "Not really... do you think we could find a cat around the Borderlands?" You asked out of the blue. "A... cat?" He asked, confused on your switching of topics. "I love all animals. Dogs, snakes, cats, and fish are my favorite though," you explained. "I'm... more of a cat person myself," he said. He seemed like a cat person. Quiet, observant, intelligent. Definitely a cat person. "Mm... favorite.... music genre?" You asked. "What game are we playing this time?"

"My version of 20 questions."

Yeah, safe to say he was enjoying your version, because he was winning. You either had to answer the question, or take an article of clothing off. "You have to have something you don't want to share! This isn't fair," you whined. So far, you were half naked, and he still had everything on. He had answered every question, and you were getting kind of frustrated. "These are your rules no? Your game as well... seems fair to me," he answered. "Your sounding like Chishiya. He's not fun to play games with... he doesn't like playing games with me.... in fact... I don't think we even talk outside of... Oh no," you started, realizing something. "What's wrong?" Last Boss questioned. You stood up, gathering up your clothes. You put it on while apologizing to him. "I just realized I need to apologize to Niragi... he was right... gods I'm so fucking stupid! I'm sorry, I promise we'll continue playing more games and talking some other day?" You apologized, sticking out your hand towards him. He shook it. "Alright, I'm holding you up to that promise though."

You ran through the halls of the Beach, desperately looking around for your best friend. "If I were Niragi... roof is a no... his room is a no... My room?" You whispered to yourself. You ran to your room opening the door quickly, shutting it behind you. On your bed was Niragi, sleeping on his side. You frowned, taking off your shoes. You walked to the other side of the bed, crawling into the bed with him. You wrapped your arms around him, whispering apologies he couldn't hear.

You heard him start to wake up a few hours later, and you immediately started apologizing. "Sugu, 'm sorry... you were right, I should've realized it sooner, I should've heard you out. I'm sorry," you frantically apologized. He groaned, looking at you. He noticed how your hand shook slightly. And then he remembered what he had said to you. "I also... need to apologize... I'm sorry for calling you names, and for yelling at you," he whispered. You let out a sigh of relief as you thought he wouldn't forgive you. "For someone so smart I'm really fucking stupid sometimes... I should've... I should've noticed... you were only looking out for me," you cursed yourself. "Yeah, it's kind of my second job. Looking after you," he joked. You pouted shoving his shoulder softly. "I'll push you off my bed, watch it mister," you laughed. "Mhm, I'd love to see you try," he challenged. You'd done it before, and you'd do it again. "Try me bitch," you said. He laughed, sitting up. "What time is it?" He asked. "Mmm... 6:43 why?" You answered. "Games. We might finally get to play together, wouldn't that be fun?"

You couldn't have gotten the worst yet best group... In your car was Chishiya, Last Boss, Niragi, Kuina, and yourself. You were driving, Niragi was in the passenger seat, Kuina was sitting behind you, Chishiya in the middle back seat, and Last Boss behind Niragi. Last Boss and Kuina were mainly quiet, keeping to themselves, occasionally talking to you about something. Now the other two? They were at each other's heads.

"Well at least I've heard of what fucking conditioner is," Niragi retorted to Chishiya. "You use your so called cleverness act like a dramatic bitch who's better than everyone but you're really not," Kuina stated towards Chishiya. "I thought you were on my side?" Chishiya questioned, looking slightly betrayed. "Eh, I wanted to join in on insulting people," Kuina shrugged. "Well, fuck you, fuck you, you haven't talked this whole time but fuck you, I've already fucked you so there's no need for me to say it," Chishiya said. "Oi, you leave her out of this you bastard!" Niragi spat. You were fed up with everyone yelling at each other.

"Can everyone shut the fuck up! How are we supposed to beat a game if we can't even drive to the arena without you two trying to kill each other! I get you hate one another, but I don't give a fuck! Kuina, Last Boss, thank you for being the only two tolerable people today," you shouted. Niragi and Chishiya stared at you in shock. "What? It's true. You want me to sugar coat it and act all sweet? I can do that too. Shi-Shi, Gi-Gi Pwease don't fight! Makes me sad UwU," you pouted, using a childish voice. "That's some fucking pick me girl shit right there," you muttered. "I think it worked they're both quiet," Kuina laughed. "Hey, (Y/N) eyes on the road dumbass," Niragi scolded. You glared at him before, going back to looking at the road.

When you got to the game arena, you were surprised. "Isn't this the mirror maze we used to go to?" You asked Niragi. He nodded. "Might be a spades game then?" He questioned. "Boooring!" You shouted, walking past the entry point. "What, you want it to be a hearts game?" Chishiya asked. "It's the only kind of game I haven't played. I'm getting rather bored of the same thing," you complained, grabbing one of the phones from the table. "You should consider yourself lucky you haven't played a hearts game," Kuina mentioned. "Maybe. But honestly, I'm bored. And a bored (Y/N), is not a good (Y/N)."

Niragi knew exactly what you were talking about. In the past, when you got bored you'd go out and look for trouble. Texting your ex even though you were an independent bad bitch who didn't need a man, piercings, pulling pranks on him. It got messy. Have the cops gotten involved? No, but it was pretty close to it. You somehow got out of it, and he would never question your skills.

Registration closed

Game Difficulty: 4 of Hearts

So... I haven't updated this in a while huh? Sorry about that-

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #chishiya #last boss #I am... finallu done with this chapter #i dont know why it took so long....#but it did

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