#like can we talk about literally ANYTHING else for 5 minutes my good god

[facefullofsadness]

can u write bbangsaz x fem reader bsdm non-con with like mommy kink? thank uu

-💋

these newjeans ones always be so kinky bro like not my babies! 😭

content - idol!bbangsaz x 6th member!reader (idol!au), not a lot of build-up or exposition/story, smut (threesome, non-con, blackmail, shower sex, cunnilingus, fingering, edging, bdsm themes, mommy kink, degradation, corruption kink, anal fingering)

wc - 2173

a/n - why is it so hard to find bbangsaz pics lmao, anyway I've been obsessed w this for days, minji and hanni are so fucking fine in this (unrelated to fic content but I needed to share :D)

hanni and minji were really good at acting like they liked you.

you were the last addition to newjeans after them already being 5 for a few months was decided. those two were deadset on them being complete at five members, but when ador told the girls that you would be added as a last minute addition, the two oldest girls were livid. dani, haerin, and hyein didn't mind, if anything they were excited to have another unnie. but bbangsaz felt threatened by your presence.

hanni was already the best vocalist and minji was a good contender for center, but both of those titles were swooped from their hands when you joined. not only had they assigned you as main vocalist, but also center. you were ruining everything the two oldest members had built in the amount of time they were five, and they had to stop you from getting too much power.

you three had left and went home after practice ended, the three younger members staying to get some extra practice in. you headed straight towards the shower and ran the warm water, getting in and letting it cascade down your bare body, relaxing under the warmth. suddenly, you hear the shower curtain slide open, feeling a strong grip around your wrists pinning you to the wall. your eyes shoot open to see a half naked minji towering over you, a half naked hanni outside the shower, holding up the camera you guys used for vlogs, arms crossed and a mischievous grin on her face.

"wh-what the fuck are you doing?!" you ask confused, raising your voice and trying to break free of minji's grip.

"putting you in your place princess! because that's what you are right, ador's princess?" hanni taunts behind the girl in front of you.

"what are you talking about?!" you continue to try and break free, turning red as you realize that you're literally wet and exposed to the two girls.

"stop being such a brat and quit fucking squirming my god, it's annoying," minji growls, digging her nails into your wrists, making you wince in pain.

"you took everything we worked so hard to get, I think it's only fair you give us something in return," hanni's voice echoes through the bathroom.

you panic and your heart beat starts to quicken with anxiety, "please! don't do this! stop, let me go!"

"shut the fuck up and just be the whore we know you are y/n. let us do what we want or else we'll make sure that video ruins your life," minji says lowly into your ear, her tone and breath making you shiver with fear.

"you heard her y/n-ie, just be our little slut and you'll be justtt fineeee," hanni says in a mocking tone, setting up the camera on the bathroom counter, entering the shower with you and minji.

your eyes start to water with tears as minji holds your hands behind your back and sucks at your neck, hanni's hands groping your tits and rubbing her thumbs roughly against your nipples.

"please stop!" you cry, sobs slowly starting to leave your throat.

hanni shuts you up by forcefully making out with you, shoving her tongue down your throat and whimpering in your mouth. you squirm in minji's hold and try to move away from the two girls forcing you into submission, but much to no avail as their touches and mouths just become more and more greedy with every kick of your legs and flail of your body. the tears that fall from your eyes join with the warm water hitting your cheeks as hanni pinches your nipples, making you scream on her tongue.

she pulls away and you sob hard, "please! let me go! what do you want, I'll do it!"

the two girls start to laugh on both sides of you, minji's laugh on your skin creating vibrations. she sighs, "you stupid little girl, can't you see we're already doing what we want and you're helping us. if you want to help even more, stop fucking resisting."

you close your eyes and hang your head in defeat, letting the tears escape and sobs leave your mouth. hanni continues to laugh in front of you, minji leaving hickeys wherever she wanted. you watch through clouded vision as the girl in front of you gets on her knees, parting your thighs and bringing her face close to your center.

"please..." you weakly sob out desperately once more, but it leaves in a whisper left ignored.

you feel a tongue flicking at your clit making you scream out and cry harder. joining hanni's tongue were minji's fingers, sliding between your entrance and teasing your hole.

she chuckles into your ear, "are you fucking wet?"

you shake your head, denying the accusation of the question. in truth, your body was betraying you, it was so sensitive to the girls' touches and advances so of course, the pleasure started building.

"no? why are you lying to me? you're obviously enjoying this if I could just slide right in..." minji slips two long fingers into your tight cunt.

hanni's mouth sucked so perfectly at your clit, tongue flicking against it inside of her mouth, minji's fingers found the delicious spot inside of you quick, curling her digits repeatedly against it at a pleasurable pace. you absolutely hated how good the girls felt fucking you as you sobbed with your head thrown back over minji's shoulder, biting your lip to suppress moans.

your body continued to betray you, feeling your hips grind down onto hanni's sloppy tongue and fucking yourself back against minji's skilled fingers.

the girl behind you whispers into your ear, "you like this don't you? your pussy just begging to get fingered and eaten out by us. bet you've been fucking yourself to the thought of this like the little horny bitch I know you are."

moans slip from your mouth and continue to fall out at her words, the feeling of her fingers now ramming into you and hanni's tongue spelling her name on your clit being so overwhelming. you feel the mouth on your pussy smile at your loss of control over your noises.

you begin panting and your moans get louder the closer to the edge they bring you. "wanna cum you little whore? want us to fuck you till you're begging for more?"

your eyes barely make out minji looking down at you. you don't respond, instead chasing for the release they built up inside of you. but of course, they take it away just as quickly, feeling the fingers deep inside slip out and the tongue swirling your throbbing clit slurp for the last time. you whine and whimper at the loss of contact and your thighs tremble, hanni holding your hips so you don't stumble and fall over.

you hear the sound of the water being turned off before they drag your drenched body into your room, manhandling you onto all fours. you're so dazed and confused, you barely process the lacey material tying your wrists together behind your back. your body jolts and you moan out as you feel a tongue thrust deep into your pussy, head collapsing against your mattress. someone pulls your head up by your hair and you open your eyes to see hanni sprawled out in front of you, legs wide open with her bare cunt.

"go on then, stop crying and put your tongue to good use," she says before forcing your face into her pussy, muffling your moans as minji eats you out from behind.

you go to work between her folds, sliding your tongue over her clit and burying your face between her legs, whining into her core as you feel the same movements being done between your own thighs. hanni moans melodically into the air at your tongue on her, giggling here and there at the reality of the situation, watching you intently eat her out like you wanted every bit of her cum down your throat.

she taunted above you, "thirsty there? and here I thought you didn't want this, turns out you just wanted to please us huh?"

you open your blurry eyes to look up at her, a sinister smirk on her lips, looking down at you with half-lidded eyes. she caresses your cheek as another tear fell down your face, your crying never having stopped, petting your head with her other hand.

"keep going y/n-ie, turns out singing isn't the only thing that mouth is good for."

she suddenly pushes your head down into her, forcing your face further into her heat, making you insert your tongue into her hole and suffocate with your nose against her clit. her moans rile you on and you flick your tongue against her walls, whimpering into her pussy while minji continues to pleasure you from behind. you feel her thumb rub against your clit with her tongue mimicking the same movements inside your cunt, slurping noises and moans filling your ears as you fuck yourself back against her mouth.

hanni ruts her hips against you, her breathing picking up and head thrown back with her mouth wide open and eyes closed. you quicken your pace of your tongue, licking against her g-spot and humming into her pussy, rubbing your nose against her clit. her grip on your hair tightens and she thrusts herself into your mouth one last time, cumming down your throat as her thighs tremble around your head. you hear her heavy pants as you slow your movements, hands caressing your head and face.

you're so close to cumming too with minji behind you, but she suddenly pulls away, making you scream in protest. hanni's gentleness disappears right away, pulling you up making you face her, your back against minji's chest.

"what? you thought you were just gonna get off so easily? there are things you have to work hard for, you know that surely."

you sob uncontrollably looking up at her weakly as you beg, "pl-please! I'm sorry! fuck, just let me cum! I've done everything you wanted! I know I've been such a bad girl, but mommy, I deserve it! please just let me cum! please please! I can't take it anymore, just fuck me..."

you ramble with tears flowing down your face. hanni's eyes are wide with amusement and minji chuckles behind you, the two of them exchanging a look. they've ruined you, bad.

hanni pushes you back roughly against minji's chest, using her front to pin you against her.

"oh y/n, you really are just our little plaything now, aren't you? I hope you know what you're so desperately begging for."

you feel her fingers slip into your pussy and pump fast, screaming out at the sudden pace. your eyes shoot open as you feel fingertips circle your asshole, collecting cum and saliva around the area before pushing in, making you let out a deafening cry. both of the paces of their fingers in you are merciless, pumping in and out of you like they're taking turns. hanni's fingers would push in when minji's fingers would come out, pushing in with a harsh thrust when the other's fingers would come out.

minji's teeth sank into your skin, leaving indent marks all over your body, hanni leaving hickeys anywhere your skin wasn't red.

"fuckkkk!!! oh my god, yes give it to me!!!" you're so fucked out, tears a constant stream down your face, eyes rolled back, drool seeping out of your mouth hanging wide open, head thrown back.

they never let up with the speed of their digits. the squelching lewd noises coming from the sheer cum leaking out of your aching hole is so loud, adding on to the girls' heavy breathing and your blood curdling cries. the pleasure burns, your holes taking so much forceful pumping, but it hurts so fucking good. your back arches, pushing your tits against hanni, to which she pinches your nipples with her free hand, adding onto the blinding delight coursing throughout your numb body.

you feel your stomach churn at the feeling of your orgasm coming in fast.

"please don't stop, I'm gonna fucking-!" you never finish your whiney sentence, cumming with a scream.

your pussy squirts juices all over everything, hanni's arm and thighs are covered, your sheets are soaked, minji's knees bathe in the drenched material of your blankets. you swear you blackout, body jerking with every aftershock of pleasure that rolls over you. you let your body fall, collapsing against hanni, her pulling away and letting you flop onto the bed.

you feel minji's fingers withdraw from you, hearing the digits slip out with a pop from your asshole. you feel them both get up from your bed, leaving your limp and lifeless body to recover by itself, not even bothering to untie you.

as your vision and consciousness fades, you hear the faint voice of one of them say, "that better teach you to stay in your place."

#ffos reqs #newjeans #hanni #minji #pham hanni #hanni pham #kim minji #kpop gg #fanfiction #kpop #girl group smut #girl group fanfic #girl group x reader #hanni smut #hanni fanfic #hanni x reader #minji smut #minji fanfic #minji x reader #newjeans fanfic #newjeans smut #newjeans x reader #bbangsaz #danielle #haerin #hyein

[miloformula123fan]

Hi! i wanted to request lando x fem!reader where dhe studies in the US and is dating lando and talks about him all the time but all of her friends thinks she is joking because she has no proof (she cant post anything yet because lando hasnt said anything abt a gf to the public). and y/n crys to lando because no matter how much convincing she does they think shes just messing with them. (she literally drives his spare mclaren and they still dont beleive her.) so lando decides to suprise her in class and then posts her on insta and all of her friends feel really bad

woohoo!

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

this was so much fun to write haha :)

lando norris x reader

---

Y/N picks up her laptop and some pens with her notebook. She’s got another study date with her friends. She likes them, sure she does, but sometimes they get a little irritating. 

For one, they don’t believe that her boyfriend is THE Lando Norris. They think she’s either got some unemployed schmuck who she is afraid to tell them about due to his poorness (the stuck up snobs) or they think she’s got some old sugar daddy that she doesn’t want them to meet because he’s so old.

So Y/N is taking less than ideal measures. Like today. Lando recently acquired a new McLaren from his work, some customised Spider that came out a couple of years ago. So now that he has his new car, he shipped his old one out to America, so Y/N would have something nice to drive around. His old McLaren GT, not necessarily old, it still cost about $210k, but not Lando’s current favourite, so Y/N could drive it around a bit.

And drive it, she would. Maybe this would finally convince her friends. Once and for all, that Lando Norris was interested in her and was dating her. She grabbed the keys off the table, double checked she had everything and then got into the car, driving the 10 minutes to the coffee shop.

Okay, maybe pulling up outside a coffee shop entirely inhabited by uni students in a custom McLaren wasn’t the best idea, but it was the best one she had. She got out of the car, locking it and headed in, almost immediately spotting her friends.

“Hello! I’ll just grab a coffee and then we can get to it!” She smiled at them, but she could see their faces

“How about you get us all a coffee with your sugar daddy money, Y/N.”

Y/N put her head down and ordered a hot chocolate and a cookie before returning to the table.

“So, how’s Lucas, Gabrielle?”

“Oh come on, no one wants to hear about my boyfriend, Y/N, we all just want to hear about your sugar daddy.”

“As I’ve told you before, I do not have a sugar daddy. I have Lando, who is my boyfriend, not my sugar daddy. And he is good, excited for the Las Vegas Grand Prix, and then excited to be coming home at the end of the season.”

“Yeah right, just cause you’re sending nudes to some old guy, doesn’t mean you can’t tell your best friends… come on, cut the charade Y/N.”

“I-” YN could feel tears welling up in her eyes, so she grabbed her stuff, and her hot chocolate before getting into the McLaren and driving off. 

Thank god it was only a 5 minute drive, else Y/N may not have made it back due to the tears welling up in her eyes. Maybe if she had, she would’ve seen the other McLaren in the driveway, but instead she walked into the house and locked herself in the bathroom, sitting down and beginning to cry.

Lando outside quickly froze. He honestly had no idea what to do. He was planning on surprising his girlfriend when she got home from her study date with her friends, but she arrived 2 minutes after he got home and had immediately walked into the bathroom without even saying hello. Leaning against the door, Lando could hear shaky breaths and sobs through the door, as he leaned his whole weight onto it, he quickly realised that she had not in fact locked the door, as he fell through it, landing on the cold tile floor.

The sobs stopped, as the hiccups continued. “L-lando, are you, okay? Wait, hang on, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in the factory in England?” The confusion in her voice was evident.

“Yeah, well I had some spare time, and I decided to come over, and the door wasn’t locked properly, but what happened? Why are you in here crying pretty girl?”

“It’s nothing, I promise, just me getting upset over nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing darling when you’re sitting here on the bathroom crying, huh?”

“Just… well, people don’t think we’re dating. They think I’m lying about it to try and cover for some 80 year old sugar daddy, and they think i’m being delusional.”

“Why, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want to worry you…”

“You’re my girlfriend, Y/N of course I worry about you. Let’s forget about your shitty friends, and let’s go get a takeout dinner and a movie.”

“Love Actually?”

“Yes, if you want.”

---

Y/N dashed into the classroom, running slightly late as she sat down, and pulled open her laptop. Cursing herself for oversleeping, and not having the time to grab a coffee on the way, she sat down and began to take notes.

Halfway through the lecture, Y/N heard the door at the back of the room open again. ‘Well at least I’m not the last one.’ She heard whispers and gasps and tried to focus on the lecture until she felt a presence standing next to her and looked up into her boyfriend’s brown eyes.

In his hands was a starbucks cup, a classic ice chocolate based on the label on the cup. Lando placed the cup on the table, before pressing a kiss to Y/N’s head and half jogging out of the room to avoid the fangirls.

Y/N could feel the judgemental looks at the back of her head, but all she could do was smile.

Lando Norris 

200k likes

Lando.norris love you baby 🙂

Comments on this post have been turned off

#f1 fic #miloformula123fan #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris #f1 fanfic #lando norris x you

[issdisgrace]

FAMILY DINNER

WARNINGS: None

Another week, another family dinner. I don’t even know why I have to attend to these damn things. I got better things to do. I sigh as I enter the manor. Making my way to the dining room, knowing everyone would be there already, considering I’m 5 minutes late. Walking into the dining room, there is everyone as expected. I take note that next time I should be 10 to 15 minutes late rather than 5 minutes, so I can just eat and leave.

“Look who finally arrived.” Bruce says everyone’s attention turning to me. 

“Fuck off. You’re lucky I’m even here.” I say as I go to sit down next to the short stack. Of course, they would sit me next to the short stack. As I sit, the talking amongst one another continues up again. I pull out my phone to check if Roy responded to my text about going bowling and getting plastered this weekend. Of course, he didn’t respond yet. God, I wish it didn’t take literally fucking hours for him to reply to one text. Sighing to myself, I switch over and text Y/n. 

‘When I’m done here, can we go out and get drinks? I already feel like I’m going to one or four.’

‘I have a business meeting at 7 tomorrow that I have to get up early for so unfortunately no, but I can go out and grab you whatever.’

‘Ok. Could you get me a bottle of the good Russian vodka?’

‘Sure. Do you want anything else?’

‘No.’

‘Alright.’

I turn off my phone and place it down on the table. I go to listen to everyone else conversations when Damian asks,

“Todd, why are you wearing a wedding ring?” His question causes everyone to stop talking and look at me, leaving a oh so lovely silence. Great, I didn’t expect to be telling everyone tonight I was married. I guess it’s been a long time coming.

“Because I’m married.”

“What!!” Everyone exclaims.

“Since when.” Dick asks.

“Since a year ago. After being with my partner for 3 years.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Bruce speaks up.

“Well dear ole dad. I didn’t tell you guys I was dating anyone because I didn’t need any of you snooping into my life. Then I didn’t tell you I got married because I didn’t need you guys snooping into my life.”

“Pretty valid.” Tim says, looking up from his phone. 

“That’s what I thought too, Tim tam.”

“Rude, we just want to know if who you’re seeing is good for you.” Dick says.

“They are good for me and Alfred already approved of them, so do with that what you will.” 

“Alfred knew.” Dick practically shouts.

“Yes, I did, master dick. ‘’ Alfred says, coming out of practically nowhere with dinner. 

“I don’t know why you’re surprised dick, Alfred knows everything.” Tim said. 

“Well, does Alfred know everything about the person Jason’s married to?”

“I know quite about Master Jason’s husband, but I wouldn’t say I know everything about him.” Alfred says as he begins placing food in front of everyone, one by one.

“Husband!!” Dick exclaimes.

“Oh no, I’m married to a man.”

“He didn’t mean it like Jason. It’s just a little shocking.” Bruce says 

“I don’t care what way he met it…” 

“What is his name Todd?” Damian asks cutting me off. 

“Why do want to know, short stack?”

“I am curious as to who in their right mind would date or marry you.” 

“Oh fuck you. If you really want to know who I’m married to so badly, I’ll tell you guys but after that I’m going to eat and go home and you’re not going to bother me, ask me questions about my husband, or stalk my husband and do a background check on him. Alright.”

“Alright.” Most of them respond.

“His name is Y/n L/n.”

“Isn’t he an actor and like 40?” Tim asks.

“Yes, and he’s not 40, he is 38.”

“Damn.” Dick says.

“You got a problem with it, dick head.”

“No, he’s just what 13 years older than you.”

“Yes, and I don’t care. He loves me. He helps patch me up when I need help. He cooks for me. He gets me anything I want. And the sex is good, so what more could I want or need?” 

“We didn’t need to know the last part, Todd.” 

“Well, count your blessings that I didn’t say what we did.”

“Thank you for sparing the details, Jason.”

“Your welcome, old man. Now I’m fucking hungry and want to eat and go home, so no more questions.”

“Alright, Jason and we will respect your on not stalking, running background check, or anything of the sort on your husband. Right boys.”

“Right.” The others respond.

#jason todd #batfamily dinners #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #damian wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #batfamily #batfam #brief mention of roy harper #jason todd x reader #jason todd x male reader #jason todd x bruce wayne #jason todd x tim drake #jason todd x dick grayson #jason todd x damian wayne #jason todd x alfred pennyworth

[voiidegg]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AA: DUAL DESTINIES UNDER THE CUT :D

i finished the game this morning, i’m on 5 hours of sleep, i stayed up all night playing it because i got way too invested.

NOT ONCE. NOT ONCE DID I SUSPECT THAT IDIOT OF A DETECTIVE. IT WAS ONLY UNTIL THE VERY LAST MINUTE THAT I REALISED. i felt absolutely sick to my stomach when i realised. i don’t even know why i trusted him so much, i literally thought he was just irrelevant to everything. there were NO HINTS. my brain absolutely HURT

hell, even I HAD DOUBTS about athena. i thought perhaps the murder was just a huge mistake. i figured out that athena must have been the one to put her mothers body on the operating table because she would think it could fix her, but i was in the dark about everything else. the MINUTE athena talked about blood getting on the handle, i knew it couldn’t have been her, i was so relieved.

i cannot begin to tell you the absolute CHILLS i got when miles revealed that the real bobby fulbright is DEAD. and had been for a year. that was the most chilling thing i’ve heard in this franchise so far and i don’t even know why it got to me so much. i think it was the thought of how the real fulbright had family, and nobody confirmed his death for a whole year, so that family was wondering where he had gone. it hit me right in the feels cuz personal experience :,) i don’t even know if that fact is true, it’s just something i thought of.

this case was absolutely amazing. usually i (and i’m sure many others) can figure out the culprit just before the final trial, but i was left in the dark for so long. even when that cctv image of the phantom showed up, i knew it had to be somebody we already knew, because why would they introduce a new person so late into a case? so i looked at every profile hard, AND WHEN I GOT TO FULBRIGHT’S, I RULED HIM OUT, SIMPLY BECAUSE I COULDNT LINK HIM TO THE MURDER 7 YEARS AGO. i was at such a loss on who it could have been.

and then, the one statement aura had after establishing the escape route. and i froze. this is by far the best case in the franchise, i couldnt stop playing even if i wanted to. there were so many bone chilling moments, like the emotions overload from blackquill, the NO emotions from the phantom, the messing around with emotions from him, finding out who he was posing as, him getting straight up sniped in the courtroom, apollo questioning athena.

and GOD SPEAKING OF APOLLO the way he just suffered alone i cAANTT ugghh. and poor athena… she was just a kid T^T

also i revoke my previous statement about blackquill. he’s a good guy. can be annoying, but he’s good at heart. i enjoyed his character in the end. i can’t imagine how furious he must have been when his phantom of 7 years was right under his nose the entire time. blackquill did everything to protect athena and i found it so endearing, i love what they have, it’s so sweet. i think i just need to learn to give prosecutors a chance, because i always dislike them until the finale, then when their motives are revealed, i see sense and i like them.

i was so angry i didn’t get to see the phantom’s face, but after sleeping on it i’ve realised that’s actually better than seeing his face. i dunno it just feels more right for his true face to mean nothing.

so, to conclude my ramble, what a game. so worth me staying up all night til 10am for :] i don’t think anything can top that, but i’ll be pleasantly surprised if it happens

i may follow up this post with some video reactions i clipped, we’ll see :D

#my post #hayley’s ace attorney adventures #gaming adventures #ace attorney #apollo justice #ace attorney dual destinies #apollo justice trilogy #phoenix wright #turnabout for tomorrow

[jw-horror-stories]

Oh, boy, let me think of some good stories. I was fortunate enough that my family never tried to pressure baptism on me (My grandfather did, but only once). I never got baptized because of this.

I also lucked out in that I don't have any creepy old man stories, or anything else of that nature.

I DO have trauma from they way they use the world 'homosexual'.

Once, when my sister was like, 5? She made a board game all by herself, using paper. It was called 'Run Away from the Demons and Go to Jesus.' There were some awesome stick figure demons. Jeezy Boy, however, did not make it into the picture.

My parents had a good sense of humor about it, though.

I vividly remember reading a Watchtower article discussing a man who had a 'homosexual lifestyle' before coming into 'the truth'. He prayed to God and it went away tho!!! Prommy!!!!

(I feel so bad for him and I hope he realizes he doesn't have to do that.)

If I get anymore crazy stories, I'll let you know (I'm a minor and am stilled being brought every Sunday).

As soon as I sent that last ask I remembered a story! I had to listen to a talk given by a brother who clearly did NOT research evolution outside of the JW publications. He said (all in his talk about EVOLUTION): - There is NO evidence for evolution. None. Not even a bit. Not a single piece. Nada. - The sun will never run out of (quote) "fuel". (I don't remember how this tied in at all. Chances are it didn't.) - If bees died there would NO POLLINATORS. AT ALL. No more bees; no more anything!!!! (He literally said that without bees no flowers would ever be pollinated. Man has not seen a butterfly. Tragic.) - AI stands for AUTOMATED INFORMATION. (He did mean actual AI, he used this talking point as a 'gotchya' because humans cannot come close to creating a brain. Therefore: God.) - Evolution is being taught EXACTLY THE SAME as it was 60 years ago. (Tell me you've never looked into it without telling me you've never look into it.) The only difference is when HE was a kid it was a THEORY but now it's taught as a FACT. (No???) - Things NEVER crash in space because GOD is guiding them! (???? Man said this DURING a meteor shower btw) - Ants are NOT STRONG. (What. What are you talking about.) In the same line as the previous note he DID say elephants are strong. This is evidence of god's POWER. (I nearly had to leave the room. Elephants are evidence of god's power but ANTS are not???) This was all in one 45 minute talk. He bounced from point to point so much that it was too hard to follow and he just said straight-up untrue things half the time. If it wasn't so infuriating, it would have been funny.

Hoo boi, lots to unpack here, so let me just get everything done in one ultimate post.

The first part about the homosexuality, all I can say is that more likely than not the article you mentioned was most likely fictitious, or at least greatly embellished (probably involved a slightly girly man, or a slightly boyish woman, all that GNC shit they don't like).

And now, that 45 minute indoctrination session talk you heard.

There is NO evidence for evolution - yeah we were always at war with Eurasia. Okay, not quite that level of Orwell, but it's still bad. And also laughably stupid.

The sun will never run out of (quote) "fuel". - all part of a large over-arching narrative of "god has god powers so sun is forever and so is humans"

If bees died there would NO POLLINATORS - nevermind the butterflies for a moment, if such a cataclysmic mass extinction of bees did happen, flowers that do not need pollination would overtake the gene pool, and oh look, evolution. Those that survive the new conditions would take over. Funny that.

AI stands for AUTOMATED INFORMATION - I keep reading AI as "Accuracy International". Hey, if he can put in irrelevant nonsense then so can I. Only difference is I'm not pulling any bullshit here. Look them up, pretty cool, but autistic infodumping will have to wait.

Evolution is being taught EXACTLY THE SAME as it was 60 years ago - You can tell roughly how old this speaker was. Hey gramps, your information is pretty outdated, have you finally switched over to Windows 98 yet?

Things NEVER crash in space because GOD is guiding them! - Oh okay, so his knowledge of magnetic fields would imply that he's yet to discover the automobile. Or that it costs more than $5 a day for a good living wage. Does he even know about the Printing Press?

Ants are NOT STRONG - ok boomer

ngl it was actually kinda fun to respond to those talking points, just because of how utterly absurd it all is. I find that laughing at it rather than trying to understand the reasoning is ultimately better for one's mental health.

-Mod Degurechaff, needs more shit to respond to

#mod degurechaff #jehovah's witnesses #jwhs #jehovah's witness #jehovah's witness horror stories #submission

[noellevanious]

more bitching and moaning about twitter below the cut. god help me and my tendencies

see like. twitter and the attitude around it drives me nuts. like when you think about it or when you've been on this site for long enough. you see all the issues people on twitter complain about.

"it's really hard to curate a following on tumblr" no it fucking isn't. you just don't do anything besides post your art with 30 tags once, maybe twice, and hope somebody finds it. because on twitter people will just rt whatever the algorithm gives them. there's no community. if there is a community, it's from friends who already know eachother elsewhere. all the "interactions" i see on twitter are people apologizing cause other people are bitching them out, or friends that have been friends forever talking about stuff.

meanwhile almost everybody i've met i've met that i interact with, i met through tumblr in some way. my friends for the past 5 years since i got out of college? all originally from tumblr. all these people that i interact with? met them here. it's a little community of like-minded people who i cherish and appreciate even if, so far, our interactions are just text and images on a screen.

the entire fun of tumblr is the community aspect. we like promoting eachother. we like interacting with eachother. i've had more fun in the past year or so of being on this site than i've had on basically any forum.

like i follow artists that have dipped their toes back into tumblr after seeing them complain and whine and moan about "ohhh god i gotta go back to tumblr boohooo i have no clout there i get so fewer notes/reboggles/whatever" and. they like. post a single piece of their art a day. and then just. nothing. when the site is literally built around reblogs.

there's no algorithm in the "Good" "pure" way to experience the site. You meet friends with common interests, maybe through tags, maybe you already knew them. maybe you joined tumblr because of them. they reblog certain people. you reblog those posts. It's very natural. You find stuff you like, and people you like, and blogs you enjoy seeing. so you keep going. and that's how you start getting traction. you be genuinely funny or charming or talented.

and trust me. i get it. nobody's terminally online like me. you don't need to tell me that.

nobody else literally spends 90% of their time looking at the dashboard*. so it's just more "normal" people who check their twitter or tiktok or insta or whatever every now and then inbetween their work in their field. so like. this is all just small potatoes to them. they just want another outlet or avenue to share their media. more power to them.

but like. these websites suck shit. and current internet sucks shit. don't get on your high horse about waaaaah waaaah the shitty website that literally any moderately thought-out forum or webzone would put to shame, where the only interaction 90% of the time is trying to climb an imaginary internet ladder and be the Talk of the Town for 15 minutes so you can get a bunch of follows, is slowly crumbling around you, so there goes your small internet niche you carved (when in reality, if it had literally any weight or gravitas whatsoever, people would follow you to whatever outlet you move to).

It's a shitty fucking website. Let it burn. Tiktok is worse, Facebook is worse, Instagram is worse, but at least one shitty, advertiser-focused consumer-hating site is crumbling. That's good.

* (and trust me when i say that if i had my choice, i'd be like. in a full-time job. or my adhd would be solved so i could do creative stuff i wanna do, like make video essays, or write more, or draw more, instead of staring at this website so much)

#inanegargling

[brandnewhuman]

i’m not sure if your matchups are open but feel free to delete or ignore if they’re not!

i use they/he pronouns (genderfluid, but more masc leaning rn), im 5 ft tall (but honestly it’s right between 4’11 and 5 ft), and i’m pretty thin to say the least (like a slightly squished rectangle). i’m also canto-viet (raised vietnamese, speaks both cantonese and vietnamese) and i try my best to be as immersed in my cultures as much as i can. i also have short black hair, reaching the bottom of my ear!

i love to read, draw, sing, write, anything creative i’ll enjoy (but if my partner is interested in smth i’ll immediately hop ship and start hyperfixating with them) and id be very much happy to present my partner with several drawings dedicated just for them. i also love video games, especially dating sims and rhythm games!! type wise, i don’t look at appearances, when it comes to partners! i like intelligent people, people i can hold a conversation with and ramble on about the topic we’re discussing, other than that i don’t have much else!

your works are so nice……. pls keep it up muah muah

I paired you up with...

♡ Brahms Heelshire ♡

I was this close 🤏🏻 to give you corey but then I thought that since he's fairly new and (un)fairly disliked I would play it safe with our old good stinky wall man

I don't know but I feel like you could match brahms unhinged energy. I have this feeling he would find very stimulating and nice to be around you

Look, I don't care if people say it's not true but BRAHMS IS A MAN OF CULTURE. LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN WHERE HE LIVES? HIS PARENTS? THIS MAN DIDN'T HAD THE FUCKING CHOICE DO BE STUPID AND UNCULTURED

He's like really smart and really enjoys learning about new stuff so please for the love of God teach him Cantonese and Vietnamese PLEASE, IT WOULD MAKE HIM SO HAPPY TO LEARN SOMETHING THAT CAN BRING HIM CLOSER TO YOU. he wants to know everything about your culture the minute you say its something important for you. Plus he has no way to learn about the world other than reading about places on his books so having someone who can actually give him more detailed information it's really appreciated.

Bro loves music so much and would love to have little dates where both of you can listen to new music together so he can recommend you stuff and you can make him listen to new artists too. Your hobbies in general align very well with what brahms likes and can do, and they're perfect for date activities. He has a very hard time interacting with people without involving something to bond together, he feels like if he can show you he is good at doing stuff and he's not just a weirdo living inside the walls then maybe you will have it easier to accept him. He is always focusing around the idea that to be loved you need to earn it somehow so expect a lot of hyperfixation from his part on whatever you like so you can see him as someone likeable

In general just spending time with you It's enough to make him happy. HE WOULD CRY IF YOU DRAW HIM OR DOODLE HIM SOMEHOW. LIKE HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A CONFIDENCE BOOST BC IF HIS AWESOME S/O DRAWS HIM THEN MAYBE HE'S NOT THAT BAD. he will put all of your drawings around the house, at the cost of having to take down old paintings

I can imagine both of you playing dating games. He would be obsess with tbh, like the whole idea of having virtual lovers to interact with and talk its honestly the fucking best. Keep in mind he's not used to this stuff, you'll have to explain him almost everything but he learns fast dw. HE WOULD PROBABLY LOVE THE NEW DATING SLASHER GAME, HE WOULD DEFEND JASON AND BUBBA WITH HIS WHOLE HEART. ngl bro could probably be a slasher fucker

If you like smart guys and nice convos he's literally the man for you. He is not stupid AND I HATE HATE HATE THE IDEA OF HIM NOT LIKING LEARNING OR STUDYING. LIKE HAVE WE NOT SEE THE SAME MOVIE? HOW CAN YOU IGNORE THOSE DARK ACADEMIA BIG BRAIN ENERGY VIBES GOING ON? He loves learning and loves to talk about everything and anything he learns. He hates how sometimes his parents always treated him as if he was stupid, never talking with him unless it was to treat him like a fucking kid so please do have conversations with him, discuss stuff, debate even. He is very capable and very good at maintaining entertaining conversations plus it would help him feel more normal

Anyhow I hope you liked it bro IF I MISSED SOMETHING LET ME KNOW

This matchup made me think about this song:

Bad habit by Steve lacy

#slasher fandom #slasher community #slashers #slasher fanfiction #slasher x reader #horror movies #slasher headcanons #slasher #slasher matchups #brahms heelshire x reader #brahms heelshire #the boy 2016

[seradae]

You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43928488?view_full_work=true

The Spire

Chapter 10: Hunger

Lou and Erica cuddled, floating near the dome window of the living room, just enjoying each others' company. Suddenly, her stomach grumbled hard enough that Lou could feel it in theirs. "I honestly couldn't tell if that was mine or yours at first," they laughed.

"I'm fuckin' starving, but I really don't wanna get dressed," she said, a light blush coming across her face.

"I don't want you to get dressed either. Room service 24/7 here? It's gotta be after midnight by now."

"Yup! You can also get delivery from anywhere on the Spire any time. Some restaurants will be closed by now, but up until 2 we can pick most anything," she explained, looking around for her phone. "Anything you're feeling?"

She let go of Lou and pushed off the wall to go under them, snatching her phone off a charging plate. "Hm, what's good in zero-g? Aside from you, I haven't eaten without gravity yet," they said, grinning.

Her blush intensified, "keep up that kind of talk and we're never gonna get food." She swatted playfully at them as she made her way back into their arms. "Anything self-contained is good, honestly. It all takes some practice, but you'll get the hang of it."

"Sushi? I was thinking a burger, but if it started to come apart, it'd be one hell of a mess," they joked, snuggling her tight.

"Oh god yes, sushi! I would kill for a spicy tuna roll right now!" She prodded her phone and pulled up a menu, adding a few items and handing it to them.

They added their choices and handed the phone back to her. "How accurate are those delivery times? 20 minutes seems way too fast."

"That's an overestimation, if I had to guess. Remember: no traffic. It'll take them 5 minutes to get here, if I'm remembering this place correctly, and at this hour they can't be super busy," she explained as she placed the order and then gently tossed her phone back toward the charging plate.

"Okay, I gotta ask. Why do you always put your phone there? That thing lasts forever."

"How much time have you spent looking around for your phone - or anything else - just to find it floating in a random place nowhere near where you thought you left it? Not that I need my phone much when I'm with you anyway," she smiled.

"Duh, that makes sense. Guess I've got a lot to learn about living In Spaaaaace," they said theatrically.

"Good thing you've got me to teach you! I was gonna joke that I'm basically an expert, but I guess at this point it's true," she said, thinking of how much this place had grown and changed since she first arrived. How much she'd changed.

"You literally live here, and you helped build the place!" Lou shook their head, smiling. "Okay, putting your silly modesty aside, how do I move here?"

She stroked their hair gently, "well, first things first: do you want to live with me? We both have our own lives, and we haven't lived together in, what, a decade? I won't be hurt if you want your own place, but you know I'd be happy to have you."

"I'd love to, but are you positive you want me to? I know you've been dating Jess for a bit, and I don't want to do anything to come between you two."

"Not a problem on my end, baby," she said, kissing them softly. "I would love to live with you again. I'll just kick you out if she and I need the place to ourselves for a bit," she said with a grin.

"Not like it'd be the first time, you hussy," they joked. "Okay, so holy shit. I'm gonna be living with my favorite person in the world again!"

"Um no, I'm your favorite person in the universe; remember where we are," she teased, pointing out the window.

"That's gonna take some time to get out of my vocabulary," they said, rolling their eyes. "Since I'm gonna be here indefinitely, do I need to get a special visa or anything?"

"You can stay up to six months without a visa, but only permanent residents can make use of every facility here. Well, without paying out the ass at least," she chuckled. "It's honestly a pretty simple process, and for you it'll be a breeze. You're a US citizen so their record keeping leaves a bit to be desired, but you can do it all online."

They thought for a moment and then said, "and if I wanted to be an owner? You know I like to get my hands dirty."

"You could buy a share, but they've gotten expensive as hell; a good investment, but only an investment," she said, pondering. "What if you bought a new community studio space, like the one I showed you earlier? You could use it yourself when you want, teach from it if you feel like it, and let others use it when you're not."

"That sounds perfect to me, honestly. Can you introduce me to the right people? I don't know how real estate works up here."

Erica laughed and said, "I don't either. But I know the lady who owns the one we went to; I can introduce you and you can pick her brain."

"Thanks baby," they said, kissing her forehead. Just then, a knock came from their door. "Oh hell yes. This sushi stands no chance."

#lesbian #txt #wlnb love #wlnb #scifiseries #scifi writing #sci fi writing #scifi #the spire

[bugtransport]

okay i totally jsut realized i jumped back into using this site like i didnt delete my entire old blog. so. you might be asking: "julia who the fuck are hanamoto and fujimaru and why do you keep tagging posts as them" they are two of my favorite characters for two totally different reasons and i would do anything for them

this is going to get long. fair warning. i'm just gotta put a cut

fujimaru is fujimaru takagi from bloody monday. i dont recommend you read bloody monday i'm just irrationally attached to the series because it got me through a time. i literally only have these pics of him and otoya for some reason but fujimaru's the one with the dark hair

he's my worst son and i would do anything for him. he's a hacker and the series has some of the funniest scenes where he ends up teaming up with a counterterrorism unit called Third I and all his companions are in a circle kicking peoples asses around fujimaru who is hunched over a laptop furiously typing like "5 more minutes guys, i got this!!" he's a weak little shithead nerd and i woudn't have it any other way. i have a tattoo of a falcon as a long joke about this guy (also because falcons rule). he's not my first bird aligned fave but he's sure up there on characters that impacted me. i totally didnt realize how many emotions i still have about this guy until i started writing this part of this post. if i reread bloody monday i'm sorry (i'm not sorry) it's the residual fujimaru in my brain.

one time i think in bm2 he blew up a whole room by scattering a bunch of flour in the air, turned directly to the camera, and said "the internet can teach you anything!" he is a menace to society.

bloody monday 1 is good, bloody monday 2 is okay, i do not talk about bloody monday last season. the drama adaptions are, to my recollection, fine! but also i last watched them about 10 years ago so take that with a grain of salt.

fun fact, the guy who plays otoya in the bloody monday drama(s) is the same guy who plays den-o. i haven't seen den-o but its just another one of the "the descent into toku was prophesized" moments like me being obsessed with okkusenman as a kid.

i would say i think otoya and fujimaru should kiss but i think fujimaru doesn't deserve otoya. otoya is too good for him.

hanamoto is shuji hanamoto from honey & clover. he is my UM UM UM HE'S MY UH HE;S WHEN when you um when you feel what dyou he's uhhhh him. he's he. he's the guy in my icon :)

shuji hanamoto makes me feel every emotion known to man. i dont know what the juice is that was put in him that makes him so poppin. a couple years back i was chatting with a friend at the time about the series and we were like "yeah the beauty of honey and clover is that each time you read it you relate with a different character more" which is absolutely true but also 100% the bitch of all time has to be hanamoto for me. i started reading this series in shojo beat magazine back in middle school to give perspective on how long this man has haunted me.

should i get into hanamoto gay theory? i think i should get into hanamoto gay theory. mostly because i can't recommend the series knowing the ending unless i tell you about (and make sure you're also subscribed to) hanamoto gay theory. hanamoto is blatantly in love with his old (dead) college buddy harada and it hurts me to my core. please observe:

^LOOK THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR THIS. ME, MY BOYFRIEND, AND MY BOYFRIEND'S WIFE. they weren't just friends to me, they were my world. and before anyone tries to tell me this means that hanamoto must also have feelings for rika, the way that he acts around her is like, borderline paternal. harada is like the only one that he shows anything romantic towards, he's just a dad to everyone else really. he's protective but that doesn't equate romantic. which, i am not going to spoil the whole series, but it makes sense. god. oh to be two boys and breathe the same air... oh to be two boys and make art together and spend the most precious time of your life together in the same home and eat the same food and breathe the same air.

THAT'S HANAMOTO BASICALLY. THAT'S WHO HE IS TO ME.

read honey and clover but only if you also subscribe to Shuji Hanamoto Gay because that's really important to me.

tl;dr question i didn't actually answer above "why do i do this" theyre just aesthetic tags lol but instead of actually tagging the proper aesthetic names i use character names because its more fun and i like them :) i think these boys are neat and i like them :) no i dont know how to use pinterest and i refuse to learn that site scares me

if you wanted the actual aesthetics i associate with them:

fujimaru is like, cyberpunk/weird tech/y2k webcore

hanamoto is plants/abandoned spaces/images that make you feel both calm and a little vaguely sad

theres a really good chance im gonna adopt more characters into this system so if you see me randomly reblogging paintings and tagging them #sonoi or something that would be the reason why

#this is a meet the boys post #making spaghetti

[the-one-blog-to-rule-them-all]

i'm just sitting here thinking of all the travel shit i have planned for the year while listening to "old school eminem" on spotify. i gotta listen to more d12 honestly. I love planning stuff but I swear I'm getting a little tired of doing SO MUCH all the time. I say that but then when i go a few weeks without doing something kinda fun I get all miserable.

i want to try to get up to indiana early this year but i have so much other stuff i don't really want to spend money on a rental car for four days, but that's kinda silly because i just need to go see my dad (who, by the way, believes he's talking to an asian woman ((sorry, i don't know where from because I know no details)) who's going to come to america just for him. my feelings on this are so complicated because my relationship with him is so complicated. I'm sad that he's so lonely he's trying to talk to random women who might not be real online, i'm sad that his life ended three years ago when he crashed that motorcycle, but i'm angry that he fucking didn't do anything for himself once it happened. He literally just let himself rot on the couch snorting opiates instead of doing any physical therapy at all which would have helped him so immensely. maybe if he did that my sister wouldn't have to be his slave bitch every weekend, god forbid he would do anything to help anyone else if it takes a modicum of effort from him. But i love him and it hurts me that he's in so much emotional and physical pain) because I haven't seen him in so long and I only visit maybe once a year. And I can stay with my sister so my only expense is the plane ticket and the car, but I only fly southwest because I have flight anxiety (i'm working on it) and i can't bring myself to fly the "budget" airlines like spirit and frontier because i'm terrified of them being smaller and less maintained (literally not true, FAA rules and blablabla)

So maybe that for April? late march? i also don't want to go there when my fucking mother goes which she's really been trying to get me to go with her but i don't... like her. And when we spend too much time together we stop getting along. and she's being so annoying with wedding stuff for me. She's just excite which i'm okay with but she's being really fucking naggy about stuff and kinda bitchy about my ceremony timeline I have planned and stuff. Like I want to start the ceremony at 4:30 or 4:45 because the sun sets at like 5:30 on my wedding date. So if its a 10 minute ceremony then that gives us 45 minutes of light to take family photos. But she doesn't listen and she keeps fucking going on and on and on about how it's going to be daylight when the reception starts. Okay???? I truly don't give a fuck it's not that deep to me. I just want to have a nice fun wedding and get good photos. And also her ideas are so dated and ugly no offense to old ladies, she keeps coming up with decor ideas and i have to gently tell her "i don't love that" because talking with her is always like playing chess so I have to balance not hurting her feelings.

SO there's that.

Then July I have a wedding in Maryland where I'm a groomswoman so I have to buy a dress for it (no biggie, it's for my friend parny and I LOVE him I am soooo not complaining). Leifs brother and my SIL might be meeting us up there so we can all take a little getaway together so that kinda knocks out my "visit leifs brother and emily" obligation for the first half of the year even though i love visiting them and i miss them and their normalcy compared to the rest of leifs family. I'm soooooooo over his mom right now it's not even funny. She's literally my mom but full waif. She's the victim of her bad relationship with her son (leifs brother) because he just "takes everything the wrong way" like girl. If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check your fucking shoe please. Anyways, July I have that.

I have to plan a bachelorette party (well, Julie does, but obviously I have a say in it) at some point, as well as do a sister trip. Another thing that I'm not complaining about. I love my sisters more than anything else in this world and I feel so fucking grateful that I've been able to spend so much time with them the last 5 years or so (but especially since the diagnoses almost two years ago, which jessica is still getting clean scans after her chemo!) So maybe I'll try to plan those two things together. Maybe we'll go to the ozarks or niagara falls. Or we'll go to nashville for that fucking green day concert because I'm so desperate to see them play the entirety of dookie and american idiot.

September we have another wedding in Rhode Island. We were originally gonna spend a full week up there looking around the area in case we want to move up to the North East but now we have a wedding to pay for ourselves so we're just gonna do a four day weekend. I'm pretty excited about that wedding too so not complaining, I'm just slightly sweaty bc my sister in law and brother in law keep talking about planning their wedding for this year in september or october and i need them to come up with a date so i know if it overlaps. ugh.

then november is our wedding!!!! yay!!!!! LEGALIZE!

that doesn't count the concert trips i want to take. I'll either drive up to atlanta to see green day or do nashville, and FOB is coming to orlando next month and i don't need to see them again but goddamnit i want to so I'm checking ticket prices every now and then

anyways I'm feeling a little stressed out. I feel like I've got so much going on but it's kinda how i thrive. so it's not a bad thing lol

also we're creeping closer to april which is when I'm supposed to get my yearly raise and I'm getting anxious as we approach it. I've done a great job in my position this year and produced a lot of good work, but I got a 7% cost of living raise in december and I'm worried they'll say that's my raise. Which isn't baaaaad but I was looking forward to getting a merit raise in april. also hoping we get a bonus again this year in april because we keep breaking records and my manager always tells us to give ourselves a big pat on the back and i'm like ayo, give me a check pls.

I feel very lucky that we're able to spend the amount of money we're spending on our wedding ON our wedding, since it's just one fucking day and it feels wasteful. Like we already own a house. It's okay. We have cars. We have no other thing we NEED to spend money or save money for right now but god damn it feels wasteful. I wish I could spend the money on this stuff and not feel guilty. And it helps that his parents and my dad are contributing and basically paying for the venue. but lawd. It's so wasteful.

#today in kristory #GAAAAAASP #holy run on sentence batman

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

i've decided to take a break from it all. i've realized ive been so consumed by all the chats and planning the weekender and london and everything. texting brandon. i really like to busying myself with planning i think. but anyways, it's gotten too much. i feel like no one (minus a few) really appreciates and respects all the work and hours i put in to everything. and of course its not only me, but i really take the responsibility and the weight on my shoulders of planning all these things. it's an emotional burden. i make so many tabs and docs and resources for everyone to have all the information needed at their fingertips. and then what do they do? don't even fucking use it. they ask the same questions over and over again. when literally, what am i doing? googling it and answering them. why the fuck can't THEY google it and get their answers instead of asking other people. am i a fucking personal travel agent?

and i know i should just not engage. i should just take a deep breath and not reply. wait for someone else to take on the burden. but i can't. i physically and mentally fucking cant. maybe that's my character flaw. and the thing is, someone else WILL answer, and IT WONT BE CORRECT. and then days later someone will finally do the research or someone will tell them or whatever, and THEN they'll find out the actual, true information, when instead i can just quickly reply immediately and give them the exact correct information. but at what cost. honestly, at what fucking cost to my mental health.

i know they don't NEED me to plan shit, people have done trips without me i know i'm not fucking god and know everything. but i have all the info. literally. i remember everything from my initial research. from countless conversations we've had where we've decided this or that. where we've found out this or that. why can't they remember? do they even try to remember? i don't think they do. they just want someone else to do all the heavy lifting and reap the rewards. just tag along for the ride and do nothing. it's too much. i can't fucking handle it right now.

and i do handle it most of the time. and most of the time, it's fine. and with certain people, i get it. but seriously a simple fucking question. they look for it. and they can't find the answer. then i take 2 minutes out of my day and find the answer right away. like???? I DONT GET IT.

i seriously don't get it. it boggles me. why do they have to make my life so hard? i know they don't even realize it. i know it's not personal. but fuck it feels like it. why do you think i spend so much time getting us so organized. so i don't forget and so EVERYONE ELSE CAN BE A PART OF THE PLANNING AND FUCKING KNOW EVERYTHING AND NOT ASK ME THE SAME THING 5 TIMES.

like this is the which trip we're all doing together. like the 6th? 7th? this is not our first rodeo!!!!

i know this has something to do with indy too. how many fucking times did i tell him, this isn't a good idea. i'm going to hurt you. this will fuck up our friendship. yet, he didn't fucking listen to me. and i fucking hate that i can't talk to anyone but maya about it.

and honestly, after that talk we had on saturday night, literally fighting about the same fucking shit we always fight about. and then he makes that fucking rude ass comment about forcing me to go to qrion. like, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!??!?! after i literally yelled at him for trying to force me to drink. after i fucking told him it made it feel like he was giving me no other option than to kiss him that one night to finally fucking shut him up. he fucking pulls this shit with me again. and it feels even fucking worse than before. it feels so personal. and it feels like he didn't hear anything i fucking said. like all of my feelings and personal views and WANTS mean fucking NOTHING to him. it's so fucking disrespectful. it makes me feel like what i want means absolutely nothing. and honestly, idfk what the fuck his intentions are, because at this point, they can't be good. how can someone explain that with a good outcome at heart. in my opinion, they can't. i really don't get it. what have i done. what did i fucking do to deserve to be so disrespected by my family. when i have fought so fucking hard for him. i've stood up for him SO many fucking times behind closed doors, when he's not even LISTENING or not even IN THE CHAT. i've been his biggest advocate because i fucking care about him and know him and i can't stand people shit talking him when i know he's trying to be good, that he's changing. but guess what, i guess he's fucking not. literally this whole week has proven to me he hasn't changed in the slightest. and with me. what a fucking stab in the back. when all i try to do is fight for him. he can't fucking give me the respect and decency i deserve. fuck him. seriously. i'm so fucking mad at him. and its not like i didn't tell him. it's not like i've secretly been bottling all of this up. he just doesn't fucking LISTEN. it's always all about him. well, what about me. what about my feelings. what about what's good for me????

and honestly, i'm at a point i feel like i've been chasing brandon this entire time and i'm over it. i'm just at full quit capacity right now. i'm quitting everything. not actually, but emotionally, yeah. right now, for the time being, i fucking quit. i quit the group chats. i quit planning. and i'm quitting brandon. if he wants to fucking talk to me, HE can fucking talk to me. i told him of course i'm taking a whatsapp break and to text me anywhere else. nothing bad against him, all about the groups etc. cause it's maybe 5-10% about him (but more so my emotions). i didn't just ghost and stop replying cause he didn't do anything wrong. but i'm curious when and if he will. i wanna say im sure he'll text or snap me something in the next few days. but who the fuck knows.

i really hate how much this all affects me. i wish it didn't. but alas. here we are.

idk how long i'll last. but honestly, since deleting whatsapp after work. i already feel so much better. i feel free. i hope i can last a week at least. maybe before sarah and i go to vic i'll redownload it. but then again, why do i want to stint my progress right before a nice relaxing weekend with my best friends.

we'll see what happens.

#personal

[m-talks-shit]

19/11/22 - 20/11/22

Oh. my. god. When I tell you this was the best date I've ever been on.

Naturally I started getting ready 4 hours before he was picking me up. I took a shower, shaved, did my full skincare, did my makeup, my hair, chose my outfit and I was still ready almost 2 hours early. I waited around, questioning how I looked and redoing my entire makeup look.

He finally arrived and I got in the car. We discovered that we're both really into history so I suggested that we go to a musuem for our first date. It was a great, romantic idea in theory but the museum we chose was actually really boring and only had 2 small exibitions. Luckily it was free so the thing we wasted was our time.

After that we were thinking of things to do so I suggested we go catch a movie. We went to see that new movie The Menu that just came out. It was a good movie, just really confusing, there were so many plot points that were just left unexplained.

Anwyay, after the movie we decided to get drinks back at the pub that we went to near my house. We sat there for around 2 hours just talking and enjoying each other's company. Now I only had 1 drink but I hadn't eaten anything the whole day so I got tipsy pretty quickly, and that tends to make me horny. We were sat at a booth away from everyone else so we were pretty secluded. We did make out a couple of times in the pub and I quite enjoyed being evil and teasing him until he was literally shaking.

How crazy is that? Literally shaking. I've never felt that much power over someone and I fucking loved it. It was pretty adorable to see him like that.

We left about 10 minutes before they closed and just sat in his car in the car park. Neither of us wanted to leave. We get into a pretty hot and heavy make out session in the car that lasted around half an hour. The tension between us was absolutely insane. I wanted to have him right there and then and I knew he wanted me too. However, i was not about to have sex in a car and neither of our houses were available. So he took me home. Like a gentleman he even walked me to my door, even though it was only about 5 steps away. We kissed again and he left. Before that though, I may have sneakily mentioned that I'm going to be home alone for most of next week.

I'm really excited for that.

To avoid ending on such a sexual note, I will say that I have incredibly intense feelings for T. With most of my ex's, there was a lot of unhealthy obsession that was forcing me to be with them. With T, there isn't an obsession, it's pure, intense, romantic feelings. It feels different. I don't want to say love. I don't even know what love is. Maybe I'll experience it with T. Eventually. It's actually crazy, I can imagine my life with him so clearly. Whenever I imagined life with my ex's I always knew not to think about it too deeply because I never really believed or wanted it to happen. But with T, I actually do.

It's hard for me to believe that I've actually met someone so incredible who I already wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. I mean we had an 8 hour date and somehow there wasn't a single moment of awkwardness, we were perfectly in sync with each other. I already have so many ideas for dates and gifts. I want to introduce him to my friends and my family, I want to take him home for Christmas, I want to take a weekend trip to the countryside with him.

Alright, there may be a hint of an obsession here. I can't help it. I have an addictive personality, it's genetic and it manifests mostly as an addiction to other people. I know that the feelings are real though. It might be an addiction but it's so much more than that.

I'm really fucking glad that he asked me out.

#first date #in love #lovesick #obsessive love #addicted

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 01x19

Provenance

“Uh oh. There’s no recap.”

“Right about now. Funk soul brother” “It’s the killer painting shit.” 🎶you’re about to get fucked but not in the way you think🎶

“She’s going to start without him. She should though” “Juicy”

“I think she’s dead” “That was a very loud slice noise. I think they implied that he died” “Does Dean only date the ones with an I? I don’t think he gives a shit.” Making fun of the way Dean says “k” “It means that you’re lame, Sam.” “How many times are we going to talk about Dad in the first fkn 5 minutes?” “If Sam is the producer is Dean the re-producer?” “Don’t they stop the pranks eventually?” “That’s a weird license plate” Explaining Eric Kripke

Idk why in Sam episodes they make Dean look like a ding-dong. “He’s a good ding-dong” “Who is she?” “Baby is a dusty fkn bucket. They had to park that next to the Rolls Royce” “oh my god this room” “I feel like this episode could be the one they could turn Sam back into a main character. They could turn the dynamic back around and move the focus away from Dean” “He’s going to randomly go with THAT ONE” “Why the fuck would you have a beer at a joint like this?” “Also not sure why she would go out on a date with the guy who got kicked out of her father’s art auction house. I think she’s just looking for a little bit of fun, because these kids are just blown’ through. It’s one helluva date for a random hookup; it’s kinda weird” “Killin’ monsters, bitch” “He’s so bad at talking that she did it for him” “Why did they show Dean clopping the thing in front of Dean’s crotch? CROTCH CLOP!” Then we watched it three times

“Gotta do that high shutter action shot of jumping over the gate” “They are really not good at watching their 6” “Let’s do the classic cut-it-out-of-the frame; you couldn’t just turn it around and undo the staples.” “I don’t think I could have survived this with commercial breaks. Commercials suck ass” Laughed at Jared’s acting

“This is also the first thing they’ve dealt with that’s immune to burning” “How did that also make the same front page as the Titanic sinking?” “No man, tell me about that day and age.” “He’s looking straight ahead and not to the side or any other direction for that matter” “I’ll agree with the dude - for that kind of money, why not? It’s a private sale” “Colombian neckties? Idk if you can say that anymore. I”m pretty certain that it’s a cartel reference” Laughing at Dean telling Sam to hook up with girls “that’s actually funny” “Hi Sarah. It’s Sam! Let’s fuck!” “Why is there no blood on the floor yet?” “Look at Dean’s stupid face. Look at all this facial interaction. LOOK AT THIS FKN STUPID FACE” we watched it like 3x “Air cheeks! Like a chipmunk!” “As if the bottom of that glass of the ash tray would be optimal quality” “Yeah, we dress alike and walk around and we don’t get paid.” “That’s how you pick up the girls - you tell them you don’t get paid.” “This is a super awkward exchange” 🎶cuz I go batshit crazy and kill them🎶

Since Sam doesn’t have good luck with women, maybe he should try men

“How would you know? You just met the guy?” “How is that cheaper than cremating the dude?” “Would a pine box have decomposed by now? I could be wrong and maybe that’s the point of 6 feet down, but I just feel like it would be decomposed by now.” “dean just had that ready to go? Wow. That was a lot of effort to get that all ready on the tape deck” “I totally forgot about that twist” LOW SODIUM FREAKS

“How is she with it enough to say “that is so wrong?” That was a dick thing to say, Sam

“What a douche. He could have literally say anything else.” “I love how he holds it like a bat. I would do a twirl dance with the poker so it’s always swinging in the air. Or an iron hula hoop but that would be really heavy. What about plate armor?” “You know better! Use your gun! Just shoot the thing” “I would not have just shielded my face with my hand; that’s a massive ricochet hazard” “That’s gotta be real stinky. Holy shit” “She didn’t go up in flames instantly. Oh there she goes” “Imagine being the groundskeeper for the cemetery and the mausoleum door is open with the glass is shot with a burnt doll but nothing actually taken. That alone would have made local papers” “You can sell it now; it’s not haunted anymore” “I guess they burned the dude’s spirit so his spirit was released, but the painting isn’t haunted anymore” “Cheekbones.” Spouse thinks Sarah is pretty

“Gross”

#beautifulspouserewatchesspn #supernatural #supernatural s1 #supernatural rewatch

[youremyonlyhope]

Chapter Nine: The Piggyback

I don’t know what this title is supposed to mean.

I’m gonna TRY to not pause constantly. But knowing me, I will fail. Finallyyyyyyyyyyy. Jopper is canon. I do not like that Dustin is going into the Upside Down. No. “We are noooot heroes.” Stop it stop saying things like that I don’t like it. The Piggyback title makes more sense now. Don’t get El high or something please. No no no no no no no no no. Stupid redneck saw Erica. “Are you ready for the most metal concert in the history of the world?” YES. Ok so that wasn’t the Will coming out scene. But it was a Byers boys bonding scene and I’m happy to have it. Is there electricity in the Upside Down? I got a text and took a second to answer, and I just realized we’re not even halfway through. Ahhh. I love this version of Dream a Little Dream too much to be scared of it. GOOD JOB ERICA. KICK HIM. Man I knew Vecna had to be above the Mind Flayer but I had really hoped he wouldn’t be. I had really hoped he’d be under the Mind Flayer in some way. The whole “Mind Flayer General” theory had been so comforting. Ugh. It can’t be over there’s 40 more minutes. He’s not dead. But ugh they really broke Max’s arm and legs helpppp. SEE! SEEEE! HE’S GONE. HE GOT UP. See all those stupid “Oh yeah I can’t wait to see what Eddie does in season 5″ articles NO. YOU ALL LIED. ...How dare they. How DARE they kill Max. OH MY GOD JASON TOO AND WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY. This is horrific. I had to pause for a second. I’m not letting myself show any emotion because my brother is in the next room and keeps coming and looking at me. He literally asked me what I’m typing just now. My family is nosy. But anyway I can’t show emotion since I’ll spoil him. But oh my god I’m so mad. El you got lots of power but bringing people to life? Eh. Maybe. If she can suck the life source of Max out of Vecna maybe.

TWO DAYS LATER!?!?!?!?

Eddie’s name doesn’t even get to be cleared now. That’s the worst part. A coma is better than death I guess. Shoot. One’s not gonna be in Max’s body is he... I don’t need Will’s spidey sense back. Well that’s quite a cliffhanger.

That was definitely devastating. I’m sure the fandom is in shambles over Eddie. Steve survived at least! Poor Dustin needs a cast on his ankle or at least crutches, why are they just letting him limp around?

They’re definitely setting up an intense season 5. God I hope Max ends up okay but best case scenario is that she wakes up and has all her bones healed but she’s blind. Worst case is that she just dies again. I’m upset. I’m really upset.

I still have one complaint: WE NEEDED MORE WILL. God they just keep underutilizing my son. That scene in the car with Mike was amazing. Give him more. Give me more Will.

Also I didn’t cry. It’s weird, ever since the pandemic I’ve been able to cry at nearly the drop of a hat, which is unheard of for me since in my teens and early 20s I’d cry maybe twice a year. But 2020-early 2022 I cried ALL. THE. TIME. Over anything. I cried once just talking about Encanto. I cried once thinking about how sad the Rockerfeller Christmas tree looked. Even the dumbest cheesiest movie would make me cry. And yet I didn’t cry watching this. I blame my antidepressants that I started taking a month or so ago, maybe that means they’re working.

But I’m also yawning a lot, which is something I used to do pre-2020-crying-levels, I’d find that instead of crying I’d just get sleepy and start yawning a lot. And back then during the rare times when I would cry I’d just knock out asleep afterwards because I’d be so drained. So I’m gonna assume the fact that I’ve yawned a billion times writing this that it’s the sadness tiredness again. Yay.

Now that Stranger Things 4 is done, I don’t know what to do with my life. What else do I look forward to now?

#hope watches stranger things #st spoilers #stranger things spoilers

[asyouimagine]

A year past addiction - Written in 2017

Last new year’s eve rolling into 2017 I was watching the ball drop from a hospital bed in OHSU. Side note, OHSU gave me the most comfortable stay I have ever had in my life and I am so grateful for the whole medical team there.

December 28th was just another day at work. I work for the After-hours team for my company, so we are the only one's in the building after 5:00PM and I work until around 10:00 or 11:00 with usually one other coworker. I was working with Alicia and Mary this night, two good friends of mine. I had just returned from a trip to Idaho to visit my mom but was really happy to be back in the office. Mary had just gotten in around 8:00 to take over for the overnight shift, while Alicia and I were wrapping up (mostly we all were just talking and laughing together.) We had a new mini bike peddler under our desk that we had randomly noticed, and Mary and I were so serious about competing with each other to see who could pedal the longest. We all were laughing at how seriously I was trying but I gave up after maybe like, a couple of minutes, and passed it over to Mary. That was honestly the last thing I remember from that shift.

Next thing, I woke up on the floor of the office in the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. It took a second for my eyes to adjust when I opened them, everything looked dark. I looked up and Mary was sitting down on the floor with me rubbing my back. I had completely blacked out anything happening. She said, "You just had an accident, it's okay." I thank god that Mary was the one there with me. She has such a way of talking to you that just makes you feel calm and safe. I feel like I would have been in complete panic if it were any other way, or worse, if I was working alone. I couldn't move my right arm whatsoever, I later would find out I broke my shoulder during my fall. All I could taste was blood and there were bite marks so deep into my tongue from all of my upper row of teeth. My whole tongue was black and blue, I wasn't able to talk right for days after. It was honestly just moments later that a whole medical team came into the office with a stretcher. They asked how I was doing (not too great). They asked if I knew what year it was (2016). They told me where they were taking me and asked some medical questions. It was pretty obvious I had a seizure. I listened to Mary and Alicia describe the whole scene that I was unconscious for to the medical team. I had been sitting up right at my desk when all of a sudden my head went down, like I was falling asleep. They thought I was joking at first and kind of laughed it off but then my right arm flew into the air and my body started to shake. They both got up and helped me to the ground. They said the transition to the ground wasn't a rough one at all so I'm still amazed how I was able to break my shoulder. While on the floor I was choking on my tongue and my face turned completely blue, Alicia helped turn me over on my side and I gained my color back. I really feel they saved my life. And then, it was over. And I was asleep.

The medical team asked if I'd had a seizure before. I told them no, but that I was certain it was from Benzo withdrawal. I explained further that I was daily taking a high dose of Xanax and had been without for about a week (not by choice) when I left to my moms house. This can actually kill someone withdrawing from this drug. I remember the crippling anxiety I was experiencing days before the seizure at the airport leaving from my moms coming back to Portland. Flying already made me anxious, but my body and mind were somewhere else. I literally felt out of body. I could hardly talk or say goodbye before I got on the plane.

Flash back to me laying on the floor in the office. It took 3 people to lift me onto the stretcher. When I was brought into the ambulance they had to cut open the brand new pullover Anthony had just bought me for Christmas, because I couldn't move my arm to take it off. They strapped me up with IVs and we were off. As they were rolling me into the hospital Anthony was standing at the end of the hall waiting for me. It was honestly the most comforting feeling to see his face, it felt angelic. How di he know to be right there, right then? Mary had called him right away and he left his work as soon as he had gotten the call and rushed over. I was still in shock and didn't know what to say. He just came into the room they pedaled me into and sat by me. The doctor that came in was so amazing, he finally got a laugh out of me and made me feel so comfortable. Which was probably a good thing because he was about to load me up with pain medicine through an IV and pop my shoulder back into place. I didn't feel a thing, but the job was done.

I remember the following nights laying in the hospital thinking this had to be the end of this. I couldn't live like this anymore. That drug was going to take my life. The people that loved me the most warned me, I even prepared myself for this type of thing. I used to look up all these forums online about the worst that could happen from Xanax addiction or withdrawal. Unfortunately, I found a way to make it a number one priority in my life to always have some on me. At this point I could have won a Grammy for my acting I was able to put on for my doctors. I brought myself from being prescribed .5mg to being prescribed 1mg, twice a day as needed. I was on 80mg of Prozac, and a 40mg Beta Blocker. I signed a contract that I would not abuse this drug and agreed to only being able to request refills on specific dates, etc. But that wasn't my only way of getting these little white pills. I was going through my prescription sometimes with in days after getting it filled and spending money I did not have to get them outside from what I was being prescibed. At one point I had enough to last me for 4 months and I don't really even want to admit how fast those probably were gone. It's scary typing out all of this, really. It started because I thought this "as needed" pill would be the answer to all of my problems I was facing. I really didn't want to feel shook by anything, at anytime. I had this idea of going through my days so at ease. I started to love the feeling of carelessness, going and doing things that usually made me so uncomfortable. I even didn't mind the feeling of blacking out. I used to take tons of photos while on Xanax, come home and edit them until I would fall asleep. I wold wake up the next morning completely unaware any of this had happened but completely in love with the results of how my photos came out. I not only convinced myself that I was more comfortable in my day to day on this drug, but now I was even better at doing what I love when I was high too.

I started to link that feeling to all occasions. A pill before a work meeting. A pill before a lunch date with friends or even just a dinner with Anthony. Sometimes one or two before a big social event or party. There were many times Anthony would come to my house after I had been out drinking and he couldn't even wake me up if he were to shake me. Let me just say first off, that I was not sly with my addiction whatsoever on the outside. But I definitely thought I was. Whenever I was high, everybody knew. I'd be telling people things I already told them, mumbling and slurring anything I would say, sometimes straight up ignoring people when they would talk to me. This had been going on since the beginning of our relationship, and I thank god he saw me through this so we can now enjoy the healthy and happy part of my life. But while I was addicted, I didn't admit to this as a problem. I admitted to having anxiety and that this was what got me through. And I admitted that "sometimes" I went over board but that I knew how to control it. This drug is very normalized in our generation. So many actresses/actors will name drop Xanax that it helps them get by. I get that not everybody has a problem with it. The problem with the people who portray it like it's something they do casually, is there are other people out there- like me, who think they can do the same.

There were a lot of dark days and bad decisions made during this whole period of my life. I can't say I'm a year clean, because I had a few slip ups since that event. But I am a year free from addiction. I still struggle with anxiety on a daily basis, but I don't have to fight the constant pressure to keep this medicine at the top of my priorities anymore. It doesn't control me anymore. I am okay with feeling human again, and having feelings of anxiety, and then pushing through regardless. Putting myself in situations that make me uncomfortable and going through with them is now way more of a powerful feeling than what those pills gave me. I really am so proud of myself for getting to the other side of where I am today. On new years eve last year in that hospital room Anthony was sitting by my side holding my hand. I can't even begin to explain how blessed I am to have him in my life.

A lot of things are changing for the better in my life right now and it's amazing. I felt like this was the perfect time to sit down and type out this story, and then let it stay in my past. Today I am thankful for my power to overcome anything thrown my way, for my ability to acknowledge my own feelings and to admit my mistakes. And to anyone reading this who is facing the same struggle or something similar, you're not alone. It seems scary and impossible to get past, but once you do, you won't believe how strong you are without those strong forces that you thought you always needed.

Here's to many more new years ahead… each beginning with new perceptions and strengths

[kylewalker-peters]

i just think that if you make plans with someone and bail on them last week then you should actually make an effort to do that thing this week especially when the day before you promised that you would watch a film with your friend while OUT AT A BAR and now suddenly you’re too stressed yet again to take 2 hours out

like we do the same degree hun....i know what you’re going through im in the same position but you just keep complaining to me and trying to use me as some emotional crutch without asking me how im doing with my dissertation proposal i see how it is

guess im just going to have to sit there and watch this film by myself then i guess

#i dont have high patience but i do have a lot of sympathy #and i think im good at being there for people #but my god after 4 weeks i have hit my limit and im ready to throw either her or myself out the window #also all this for fucking NEW MOON!!!! #NEW FUCKING MOON! #you cant take 2 hours to continue watching a franchise we all started watching for you in the first place because you hadn't seen it #i just dont have time for people who spend all day every day complaining and moaning about how stressed they are and how every day is just #the Worst #like can we talk about literally ANYTHING else for 5 minutes my good god #it's exhausting to be around #i dont care if people want to have a lil moan the diss is stressful third year in general is stressful #but doing it constantly and always saying when you're going out or not working that you're doing it because your mum told you you might feel #happy doing so is just infuriating me to the highest degree #like do you need your mum to tell you you can watch this stupid twilight film too #eleanor's struggles with uni