#like damn at least say something original thats fucked up AND boring

[forlorn-crows]

Just stopping by to say this (also sorry in advance, english is not my first language)

some of these headcanon critiques are a bit.. hurtful in a way - especially coming from a system POV who has system members of the band members that while are different, are sort of how people normally portray i guess you could say. we have a dewdrop that's very i guess you could say fem and subby, ect ect. And reading some of these hurt a lot. and sort of felt like .. a slap to the face almost. Our Dewdrop headmate is now sort of afraid to even make a post about their own headcanons of themselves because they don't want to be bashed for it or bullied for it. These critiques come across as straight up bashing vs critiques.

-🌙☀️

please note that these second two screenshots were part of longer submissions, but these parts i still wanted to include. i hope they dont seem out of context.

to our system friend here, hi. im sorry that what i and/or others have said hurt you. it was not my intent to come across as bashing, and i know i have a tendency to be 'loud' about certain things, etc. absolutely not an excuse, and im sorry if others felt that they were unwelcome to speak up. so, i appreciate those who did stop by to say so.

i wont backpedal on my opinions, though. i tried multiple times to make clear that almost everything about these ghouls is headcanon, and you are absolutely free to say 'fuck off crow, i like dew being x y z'.

if your dew is more feminine and submissive, then that is a-okay. but, the way the ghouls sometimes are portrayed can be very two dimensional. many of us, essentially, would like to see a bit more variety, even if your characters still fit this common fanon characterization.

like our second anon here has said, these common characterizations are understandable, due to how they act on stage. hell, rain was called 'bambi' for a little bit because he kept tripping over his own damn legs. their stage presence still plays a part in their personalities, absolutely.

to what extent, of course, varies from person to person. ive seen many a headcanon say that 'dew only acts that way onstage, hes actually really shy/reserved in person' just as an example. and all of these things that we think about the offstage characters is technically correct because we dont have a basis for it otherwise.

the original intent of the asks last night was simply to discuss headcanons/characterizations people liked the least. and im sorry if it resulted in something that felt placating, invalidating, or just mean. again, i tried to state in multiple different ways that those things were what i headcanon. not that people are 'wrong' for thinking x y z about a character. i dont even agree about everything that my friends think about these ghouls. and thats fine. i wouldnt want everyone to just think like me either bc then its just a boring echo chamber. many of the things i spoke about, if i come across them, i just skip and move on with my day. everyone has different ideas, and sometimes its just not for me. just like my ideas arent for everyone either.

you have full autonomy to post and think and create anything you want about ghost. what i dont want is people thinking im some kind of authority, or that people arent welcome to say their thoughts. i wanted (and still want) these things to be a discussion, an open forum for people to talk about their headcanons that may differ from the norm.

with all this being said, i want everyone to have fun here, and i dont want anyone to feel pushed out of a fandom because one or two loud people 'dont like' what they believe about silly nameless ghouls in a rock band.

i want people to feel like they can write characters differently than others, or if you enjoy those common characterizations, that you recognize when things might slip across those lines we spoke about yesterday. that everyone is critical when warranted, not just because someone said they dont agree with you. you feel me? and if you dislike something, and want to see something specific, you have the ability to create those things if you wish! thats the beauty of it all.

i know these are not fun conversations to have, and that some people might feel defensive about specific topics. but we all need to understand there are nuances to situations, to opinions, to people. okay?

xx

#be kind to each other #ask #anon #im finished with the headcanon asks for now y'all okay? #and if y'all want to keep going keep it positive and constructive pls

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #18: the prologue (briefly) and meat p1

----brief context----

i sorta fell out of homestuck a little after i finished it and its november now but in light of james roach reviving homestuck beyond canon i figured i might as well get the ball rolling on this. i originally started this post in september but i couldnt find it in myself to continue reading due to not liking where the story was going and also finding myself having a new hyperfixation

----end of context----

september 7th:

okay im gonna make a rule that this shit show thats about to happen is NOT CANON to me and in my head they won and then they created earth c and they all lived happily without any of this inane bullshit thats coming up.

ok to start off look at these fucking tags dude oh my god this is gonna be so BAD man what the FUCK did they do to these characters

theres no art which actually sucks! but with these tags maybe its good they didnt show this in images. instead they just describe it in excruciating detail. anyway, here's the first character interaction in here.... they both feel different. even in this brief exchange, something feels... off. maybe its just cause theyre older but they feel distinctly more... angsty? maybe they just seem sad. i dunno. homestuck has its sad moments but for the most part the characters arent like. sad people

/rolls eyes yeah i like the reference but not in this context...

ok so rose just explained what john has to do which is go back into canon and defeat lord english but.... this is really fucked up man . she knows

meat or candy.... fuck which one should i read first.... do i wanna be sad sooner or sad later ... MAN the epilogues SUCK!!!!! FUCK

um okay this is really gross. what is the point of this?? like EW john what the fuck

ok this is fine i guess i mean i like davekat

i guess i also like how he still has this weird obsession with obama

november 10th:

im back . but i think updates to this series will be slower. i need to ease myself back into it yknow? also. if i hadnt made it clear. i DO NOT LIKE the epilogues. especially because homestuck proper is my FAVORITE MEDIA OF ALL TIME. seeing the characters i love ruined like this in what is the most official capacity it could be in is.... just. sad to me. anyway. dave predicts the future about obama . cool.

yeah i do too man. cant have shit around here

yeah like. what even is this plot. jane has become this evil xenophobic cartoon ass villain. and everyones just like. damn thats crazy that shes just like that now. i also dont even understand WHY she wants to be president of earth c. like literally everyone else is just chilling. god whatever

brother he is not coming back

also, this has nothing to do with the epilogues per se. but at the time of writing this tomorrow will be 11/11. i am a little bit expecting a homestuck beyond canon updateeee hehehe . also burning down the house which is a really really good homestuck fan comic is supposed to update too. so awesome. hopefully both of those things happen. or even like. just one. anyway back to this slop

casual dave xenophobia classic dave you know how it is he would definitely be like this for real i believe this

man this would be so cool if it was like. drawn. i wish i could see it instead of having to envision it in my minds eye. not that i dont appreciate my minds eye for what she has to offer me but. imagine this what this panel would look like

noooooo FUCK

stares at you furiously judgementally

okay both of them most likely dont know shit about shit and neither do i but dave at least grew up in a time where there were people around and things happening and dirk thinks he knows everything but he actually doesnt know anything so i wouldnt trust him on fiscal policy

fym nuh uh

average teen roxy adult john interaction

literally down ontologically at this point

blah blah blah ultimate self blah blah evil arc WHO CARES. im bored. can i say that. i seriously D. GAF about dirk rn. monkey d. gaf

bro i fucking HATE JANE. LIKE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW

i dont have much to say about this i just thought it was worth putting here

nah. cause what the hell are you talking about girl. hello. why is she so horny. ong bro u gotta relax

okay well. this is pretty funny . hes dave and im karkat and we are the denial brothers

youre so intolerable is crazy. like hes trying to help you because you are bleeding tf out girl

wow. jane jake kiss. this rules. SAID NO ONE EVER. jake is asexual. jane is a nazi. and I. AM TIRED. OF THIS!!!!!!! I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING .

wait fuck

marvel ass dialogue

NOOOO WHAT THE FUCK

okay this is the end of the first epilogues post. initial thoughts i dont like it why did i do this i dont wanna do it. but you know what they say in order to ascend first you must descend. little homestuck reference for you all. um idk when the next post will be im sorta busier than i used to be. and also? this sucks i dont like reading it

#joff hs reread #god damn you #they ruined my children #man i shoulda stayed watching one piece #its 1 am i have work tomorrow yet here i am #okay its 1 am again and AGAIN i have work tomorrow #am i being too negative

[bastardsofravenkroft-blog]

speak now tv for me on first listen:

in general:

i love the heavier and more unfiltered (?) guitar work, it suits speak now soooo well. hate whoever the backup singer dude is. their voice is not good with hers imo, its really throwing me off. i dont like how quiet her secondary/backup vocals/‘improvs’ are either. its hard to tell if i like the mix or not yet bc its just different yk

in specific:

i like all the vault tracks. theyre good. anyone who thought castles crumbling would be scream-y i have full rights to call you silly. i can see you was way more of a banger than i thought it would be.

fucking hate mine. i will not be listening to it i dont think. which is the first rerecord i absolutely cannot stand. remember when big wigs came up on you belong with me tv and said its a totally different song and thats me with mine. its awful

sparks fly - pretty good overall, doesnt quite match the heart of the og but i think thatll be a running theme unfortunately.

back to december - perfect. theres a sorta loud like horn or something after the first chorus but its fine. very good taysquared fans are FED.

speak now - perfect. solid. nothing to say bc its a pretty nothing song really but its great.

dear john - honestly was just okay until the middle really. then she really gets into i feel, and it fucking hits. the girl in the dress wrote you a song. and you shouldve known.

mean - i love it! sounds like how it did when they played it live. its fun

the story of us - meh. its not bad at all but its not like. magical either. i like the og better but this is still perfectly listenable

never grow up - three times as good as the original. listening to this was like hearing it for the first time at 14 when someone had one of the most prevalent thoughts in my head into one song.

enchanted - the model rerecord (kinda). this is what they should be. not all of them are going to be exact remakes, but this one is pretty damn close but still has its own personality. WIN.

better than revenge - BANGER. THE FUCKING BACKING VOCALS. i dont mind the lyric change, its hers to change, and i dont think thats much of anybody’s business. shes come to terms with the way she treated another woman when she was 18 and i personally wont shit on her for that. and she couldve intentionally made it shit so a lyric that still works well and illustrates the picture? yes please

innocent - better than the original. better. esp the bridge. no more words cause i will be crying. (also i didnt know for years this shit was about kanye and ngl that did sour it a bit but its MINE so I WILL NOT BE CARING. ty)

haunted - ehhhhh. this is one of my favorite ts songs literally ever bc i was born and raised to be an emo piece of shit, i love the second half, but im not sold on the first half. i hope this is one that mega grows on me, and im still so fucking disappointed not to have an acoustic rerecord :( hopefully itll be added later bc its so fucking good

last kiss - the two seconds of waiting for this to play were like every first day of school all over again. but like enchanted its stellar, she got into it from the beginning and i always forget what an amazing song this is until i listen to it again. i wrote this song out in full at least five times in the journal i had at the time. i really love this version just as much.

long live - so fucking faithful??? WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY FOR MINE??? UGGHHHHHHH anyways shes cute! i like. not super attached to this song anymore but i like this way more than the og even i think. a spruce up was what it needed for me i think

ours - its really really different, and i have no feelings really bc ive never really liked it lol. it flows better i think now, but its still a boring weee im in love song so eh

superman - i really didnt listen to this lmao, it didnt deserve to be on any version of speak now imo, esp now hearing the vault tracks, i wouldve liked foolish one more (timeless is more red to me, she was a bit too immature for when emma falls in love and castles crumbling to sound right, and the other songs were too pop for speak now really)

no matter what though, red and speak now will never be replaceable for me. i love these versions but listening to the originals as a young teenage girl and feel heard and seen in ways i never had been before and working through so many complicated things with the help of those songs is something the rerecords will never have.

also whoever said she could remove one of her best songs from arguably one of her best albums.

#music #archives #crimson speaks #taylor swift #speak now #speak now tv #speak now taylor’s version #if youre a swiftie and this pissed you off open a CIVIL DISCUSSION or keep it to yourself. im not dealing with toddlers over a ts post agai #also i didnt even read over this so who knows what it actually says #pinning so i dont lose it #crimson writes

[transmascissues]

[TW IN THE TAGS]

just got my first unalive-baiting ask 😍 imagine telling a transmasc person they should unalive themselves because they dared to speak and then saying their oppression isn't real immediately after, the cognitive dissonance is ASTOUNDING folks

if that anon sees this: i dare you to actually think critically about why you had such a violent reaction to the things i talk about, because - believe it or not - that's actually NOT a normal or healthy reaction to have to someone you disagree with

#tw suicide #like damn at least say something original thats fucked up AND boring

[harry-styles-sunflower]

Last Christmas

a/n: Pure fluff, some cursing, 3k, thats all :) Please reblog and let me know what you think! 

//

You were walking down the sidewalk holding your trench coat tightly to your body. You made it to Johnny's Club and you pulled the heavy door open.

"Jeez," you sighed. You shook off your coat and walked to the coat room. You hung it up and took your phone out from its pocket. You turned and grabbed one of the aprons and put it on tying a knot behind your back. You slid your phone in one of the pockets and shoved your other two pockets with straws and a towel. You walked down the hallway and then behind the bar.

"Hey Matt," you said as you clocked in to your job.

"Hey y/n, what's up? Cold out?" he asked as he wiped the counter.

"Freezing, it's just going to get worse. How many people have come in?" you faced him.

"About 5 maybe?" he reorganized all the bottles on shelves, "Could have been 4," he shrugged.

"I don’t know why Johnny's making us work tonight, its Christmas Eve. Everyone is either travelling or with their families," you sighed and leaned against the counter.

"Yeah I don't really get it either," he stood next to you.

"At least you get to go home to Abby," you nudge him with your shoulder.

"Wouldn't really want you to be here alone though," he nudged you back.

"I'll be fine, I can hold my own. I'll grab my pepper spray before you go," you grab your towel from your pocket and lightly whip his knee with it.

"Okay," he laughs and goes into the back to do inventory.

Few hours later, Matt was gone and you were bored on your phone. The club was empty and the you played Christmas music through the speakers. You mumbled the lyrics to frosty the snowman and checked the time.

10 PM already. Great. Just 4 more hours. You checked your Twitter and saw people talking about 2016 being "the year" so you got off. Who can predict that stuff anyway. "Do they know its Christmas?" began playing and it was one of your favorites. You grabbed a bottle of bourbon and began using it as a mic.

"Its Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid," you sang. You spun around and lifted your hand up to the sky.

"At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish," when you spun you were shocked to see a male silhouette watching you, so you couldn’t help scream 'Shade'.

"Hi sorry I didn’t see you there," you said quickly.

"Sorry about that," he said as he came more into the light. He had long brown hair, sharp facial features, and bright green eyes.  

"It's okay," you turned around to lower the music slightly, "What could I get you to drink?" you turned back around to face him. You placed a napkin in front of him as he shrugged off his coat.

"Um Tequila, with ice," he said slowly. You nodded and got a small glass. You opened the freezer to scoop the ice and when you did you placed the cubes in his cup.

"Brand of choice?" you asked.

"No, surprise me," he smiled. You nodded and poured some 1800. "Thank you," he smiled again.

"No problem," you smiled back. You turned around and pretended to organize the shelf as you watched your customer through the mirror behind the display shelves. He was staring into his drink deep in thought. He had an accent, sounded British. Maybe feeling homesick on a night like this. He took a sip of his drink before pulling his hair up into a bun. You could see his face slightly better and he was handsome. Very handsome. You turned to face him and wiped your hands with your towel.

"Everything okay?" you asked.

"Yes thank you," he looked at you and then around the club, "What did you do to be the only one working tonight?" he grinned.

"Um, not sure honestly. Might've been telling my boss he should've given us a Christmas bonus." you shrugged. He laughed lightly and it was beautiful. Appearance wise and sound wise.

"The performance you were giving when I walked in should count as entertainment so I'd say you deserve the bonus," he smirked behind his glass.

"Thank you," you giggled and then blushed because the giggle was embarrassing.

"Join me for a drink will you?" he bit his lip.

"Um I shouldn't" you shook your head.

"Not even a club soda?" he stirred the liquid in his glass.

"Okay," you grabbed yourself a glass and poured some seltzer inside. You walked in front of the bar and settled on a stool next to him.

"So.. You're obviously not originally from New York, but is it your home?"

"Um no, I'm on break and I thought Christmas in New York could be fun to do alone after 5 years of not being alone. But it's actually very lonely," he takes a swig of his drink and you watched him as he spoke. The way his lips pursed with certain words and the way his face scrunched slightly at the burn of the tequila.

"Did you just get out of a relationship or something?" you ask. He turns his stool to face you with his eyebrows furrowed. It was as if the wheels in his head were turning behind his green eyes. You had no idea who he was or you were a great actress.

"Harry," he stuck his hand out for you to shake, "and no, no relationship. I spent five years working and now I am on uh sabbatical," he smiled charmingly. You shook his hand and nodded along to his words.

"I'm y/n," you smiled.

 It was nearing 11:30 PM and you were laughing so hard you were tearing up.

"Okay okay, what does a dentist do when he gets on a rollercoaster?" you asked him.

"What?" he giggled.

"He braces himself!" you burst into laughter and so does Harry.

"Wait wait, doesn't an orthodontist deal with braces?" you stopped suddenly and put on your best poker face. He cracked a smile and you couldn’t help it. You broke one too. Jingle Bell Rock came on and you couldn’t help but get up and go to the dance floor.

"Come on, come here!" you grabbed his hand and pulled him off his stool. "Do you know the mean girls dance?"

"Barely, it goes like this?" he put his hand up and swung his hips dramatically. You laughed and sang along to the song.

"Don't forget to slap your thighs," you show him and he copies your move. The song soon ends and you hear the familiar tune of 'Last Christmas'.

"I love this song, it's my favorite, you whispered.

"Would you like to dance?" he offered his hand. You looked at his long slender fingers that were covered by a few rings. You took his hand and he pulled you closer. He placed his hand on the small of your back.

Ah, aha

Ooh

Oh

"I like your rings," you say as you look over at your hand in his.

"Want one?"

"Do you just give your rings out to anyone like that?" you laughed lightly.

"No, but you’ve been very kind to me tonight. You can take it as a Christmas present," you nodded along and continued dancing to the music.

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance

But you still catch my eye

Tell me, baby

Do you recognize me?

You could hear him singing the music quietly. You detach your hand from his and intertwine your own behind his neck.

"You have a nice voice," you tell him.

"Funny you say that," he smiles. His dimples were very cute.

"Funny how?" you ask.

"Nothing," he shook his head, "I didn’t think this was how I was going to spend my Christmas Eve but I'm glad I am," he said. You tried to hide your blush and you mumbled a 'me too'.

Face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)

A man under cover but you tore him apart

Maybe next year, I'll give it to someone

I'll give it to someone special (special, someone)

The song ended and you looked up at him. His face was only inches away from yours and you could feel his breath fan your face. You both leaned in but jumped back when Usher's 'Yeah!' came on. You ran your fingers through your hair with one hand and placed your hand over your heart with your other.

"Sorry," you laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm not," you felt his hands grab the sides of your cheeks and his lips on yours. You kissed him back and placed your hands over his lightly. When he pulled away, you had a blissful smile on your lips.

"I'll take your 'peace' ring," you smile. He kissed you again and smiled into the kiss.

"Here you go," he slid the ring off his finger and put it in your palm.

"Thanks," you held it in between your forefinger and thumb. You slid it onto your thumb, the only finger it fit. His phone began ringing and he excused himself to answer. From what you could hear he was speaking to someone named Jeff and he was late to a party. You cleaned up the bar and put the glasses away. When he hung up the phone, he walked over to the bar with a guilty look on his face.

"So my boss wants me to go to his Christmas party," he frowned.

"Oh, okay. Have fun," you smiled. Fake smiled to be exact. You didn’t want him to go just yet.

"Can I get your number? Call you sometime maybe?" he asked and your heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah! I mean yeah sure," you shrugged. He walked behind the bar and lifted your chin with his finger.

"No need to try and play it cool," he kissed your forehead. You looked down and blushed. You grabbed a napkin and wrote your number on it as he put his coat on. You walked over when you finished writing on it and tucked into his coat's pocket.

"Thank you for my present, my number will be your present," you giggled.

"Sounds lovely," he kissed your lips before leaving. You sighed and wiped down the bar before closing up. Hopefully you could make up an hour another day, you needed to go home and close early.

After Harry left the bar and waited for a taxi, a man next to him sneezed into his hands.

"Damn allergies," he said.

"I know the feeling mate," Harry replied. The man sneezed again, this time in need of a tissue.

"Here mate," he handed him the napkin he felt in his pocket. Without a second thought. That was the kind of person Harry was.

"Thank you," he said before Harry caught a cab and got in. When he reached into his pocket to get your number the realization hit that he gave the napkin to the man. When he called the bar with the number he found on Google it said the bar was now closed.

//

"Fuck!" you yell at your rental car. You were currently at a gas station or as the English say, 'the petro station,' and you were trying to refill a tire. But it kept emptying. You were the only one at the gas station until a black Range Rover joined you. You decided to travel to England for the holidays since your family decided to vacation to China without you. You were getting cold and it was Christmas eve. You just wanted to get back to the small cottage you were staying in. You walked into the shop and headed for the snack aisle. The end of 'santa baby' played over the speakers in the store. You surfed the options on the shelves and grabbed a few chips (crisps) and searched for some sweets. Next song to play was 'last Christmas' and you accidentally groaned aloud. The song had been ruined for you ever since you met Harry 5 years ago and he never called. Typical musician which you came to find out. The guy behind you laughed lightly before speaking,

"Don't like this song?" he asked. You turned around with your snacks in hand.

"Bad memory goes a long with it," when the man turns around your shocked to see who it is and he's just as shocked to see you.

"YOU!" you practically yell.

"Let me I can explain," he holds his hands up in defense.

"I don’t want one!" you walk away.

"Wait! Please, I promise I'll tell you the truth." he says. Okay realistically you had no where to go before the tow truck came.

"Fine," you cross your arms.

"Well I can't believe our paths have crossed again," he smiles. You don’t. "Um well okay. So after I left that night, I accidentally gave this guy my napkin because he sneezed and I realized too late. I know it's a rubbish excuse but it’s the truth. Oh I also tried calling the bar that night and you already had closed and then when I called again the person on the phone said you were busy and I just didn't know if that was an excuse or not. I guess you've figured out who I am by now too.." he drifted off.

"I do and your excuse sounds very unrealistic," you sigh.

"It's the truth, pinky promise," he holds a pinky up. You squint your eyes at him before joining your pinky with his and huffing 'fine'.

"How come you're in England?"

"Vacationing," you stare at him slightly. "You cut your hair," you remembered it was long last time you saw each other. He ran his hand through his shorter curls and nodded.

"Yeah um cut it a few months after we met, would you want to grab a bite?" he pinched his lip between his fingers. He was still handsome as ever.

"Okay, my car actually has a flat tire.."

"We’ll use my car," he smiled at you.

When you got to his car it smelled like him. You felt slightly uncomfortable with this blast of the past coming back into your life. Especially so handsome. He began driving on a road you’ve never been on and you watched the houses pass through your window.

"So, you must know everything now," he sighed, "I enjoyed that you didn’t," he drove with one hand, his left entangled in his hair.

"That's a full of it assumption. I've heard your music and that you went out with Camille Rowe that’s all," you shrugged, "I can't believe you were in this famous pop band for 5 years and I had no clue," you laughed.

"So maybe not everything..good," you noticed he was hiding a smile. Or at least trying to. He kept driving for about a half hour before pulling into a driveway.

"Um you said we were going to grab a bite?"

"It's Christmas Eve everything is closed, I promise I'm not going to kill you," he smiled.

"Very convincing," you sighed. You stepped out of the car and followed him up the steps to his house.

"Fancy a grilled cheese?" he looked behind his shoulder and grinned.

"Sure," you took off your shoes and followed him to his kitchen. His house was huge but neat. It was modern and very bachelor like. Yet cozy and warm. You settled on one of his stools at his kitchen counter while he turned on the fireplace. When he made his way over to his stove and heated up a pan, he grabbed the bread bag and pulled 4 slices.

"So catch me up," he smiled.

"Um well. I've been working. Running an Etsy shop. Just made custom sweaters and such.. I quit the club a few months after we met. Found out I kissed Harry Styles. Otherwise I lead a very boring life.” You laugh.

“I did think of you these past 5 years, don’t think I didn’t. I wondered what you were doing and if you were okay. If you had found out who I was. If you’d come to one of my shows,” he said as he cooked.  

"I didn’t think you thought that way of me," you say honestly.

"I did, still do. I've had a 5 year long crush," he blushes. You shake your head and call bs on his claim.

"It’s the truth. But I'm glad to know you don’t feel the same," he sighed before serving you your sandwich. You got up and walked around his counter and watched as he moved to grab you a cup.

"Who said I didn't still have a crush? I still have your ring in my jewelry box crying out loud," you laughed and rubbed your head embarrassed.

"You do?" he smiled brightly. You nodded and walked towards him. You pulled him by the end of his shirt and grabbed his cheeks to pull him down for a kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist lifting you off your feet. You wrapped your legs around his waist before he placed you on the counter. You kissed him for a bit more before pulling away.

"I am hungry though," he laughed and his breath hit your face in a familiar way that made you smile.

"Okay," he kissed your cheek before handing you your plate and smiled as he saw your eyes widen once you took a bite.

LETS TALK ABOUT IT :) 

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles drabble #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #one direction #one direction fanfiction #my writing #pls reblog #talk to me about it :)

[nevergenders]

set it off in las vegas on friday (jan 17, 2020)

i showed them my new tattoo which they LOVED, i gave them a trans flag that i wrote on, and generally just had an incredible time. read under the cut!

so my friend bribri (@sarcasticloser7 on twitter) forced me to go before her at vip because i was freaking out with all this hyperactive energy and i was like “noooo!!!” she was like “you should go so you stop freaking out” and i was like “yeaH PRoBabLy”

so when our friend nicole had walked away they turned to see me and both cody and maxx went “nick!!!”

maxx gave me just such a tight hug. that was fantastic. it pretty much overshadowed my memories of codys (first) hug and i only vaguely remember hugging zach because for once he gave me a two arm hug haha.

i went “do you guys wanna see my tattoo??” and they were all like “yeah!!” and i struggled for a moment to take off my jacket sleeve (as you can see in the video) but i told him it was a photo of him holding my hand during the haunting in february and that cole got his handwriting for the lettering in july and cody said “i just got goosebumps! that’s so sweet” and i didnt see it in person but maxx was smiling just such a big smile!! and cody looked just so touched he turned into this 🥺 emoji and gave me just such a CUTE hug. (video post)

i was rushed into photo position and i auickly said “you can give me bunny ears if you want” and cody did last second and it’s so cute. and i ALMOST forgot to give them mine and si’s letters but i gave that before i left and at the end of the video you can just see maxx and cody smiling SO BIG.

(group photo post)

so then we played heads up, and once cody was done with his turn he stood between me and bri and it was probably because he knew we wouldn’t act all weird about it but in my brain i was still like “HUHHH???”

anyways that was really fun and maxx ended up winning. people were fucking yelling at first though i didnt even like try to help fjdjdj also cody dropped his keys which was kinda funny

anyways when that was all done with it was hang out time, i went to maxx first because it seemed like there was the least amount of people around him. i told him how in the past year my life turned around because they built up my confidence so much and he said “well you SHOULD have confidence!” and praised my covers and said “and even your original music is really good” that was like a really great slap in the face because sometimes on-stream in my head it sound like he’s playing up how he feels about it for the sake of the crowd and trying not to sound like an asshole but he really just said that to my face excitedly with no one else listening. THAT was cool.

i talked to zach next, i had to tell him i did the killer in the mirror mashup and the lonely dance mashup, and also told him that i thought it was very sweet that he was checking up on me in july. i think he was feeling under the weather though :( right after he walked offstage he tweeted about how much he hated being sick on tour, i hope he feels better :(

and i definitely talked too much with cody but he definitely wanted to talk to me too. i told him the same thing i told maxx but put a little more emphasis on how much i didn’t have any confidence at all, to which he said “i’ve had moments like that too” and i told him now i have the most confidence i’ve had in a very very long time. and this time i had him take the selfie because i was shaking so much my photo with zach was blurry (woops!)

(selfies post)

and i dont remember exactly what was said to elicit this but as i was about to walk away i brought up the fan power award and how i wanted to cry reading the article and he said “i’m so glad we got that award out of anything else” and i said “you deserve it” and he said “thats all of us, you guys too”

anyways yeah i spent way too long talking with him bc they had been almost out of time and he had to fuckin speedrun the rest of the people in line signing things and taking selfies and right as he was leaving i told him to look out for something i was going to give during the set.

we went back outside, and i bought merch for myself and cole, and someone who didnt have their card and sent me money on mobile. damn! and then we stood outside for so long i was like “why am i here” i was tired and also tired of waiting.

point north was actually pretty good, kellin came out for one of their songs which i was NOT expecting in the slightest (cole was fucking shook, not emotionally prepared). belmont i wasn’t as big of a fan of and i kinda got bored but there were some people there that were super into it, there was a pit and a fair amount of crowdsurfers.

when set it off came on i wasn’t losing my mind as much as i usually am but wow my serotonin levels!!!!! it was INSTANTLY noticeable that they seemed so much happier than when i saw them in july. cody especially was smiling so much, he was having such a good time. and might i say no disrespect is SO much fucking fun live, the left-right thing is super fun. during killer in the mirror cody went on top of the crowd like he usually does and i realized that that would be a good time to give the flag to him (the stage was really tall and the space between the barrier and the stage made me nervous) but he was a little too far and he stood up past me so he didnt see it. so i kept it until catch me if you can, which is when i originally planned to give it to him because wow that song is becoming like my life mantra. he finally saw it once i unfolded it a little and gave me a “gimme a second” finger. so for the second verse he walked over and motioned to give it to him and i was too scared to throw it over the gap so someone else did, and he struggled to unfold it and read what it said during the song so he just waved it a bit and put it on his mic stand. and after the song he opened up the flag with zach and read it, and pointed at me and hit his chest/heart, and he walked up to the mic and said “this is beautiful, thank you.” he kissed it and put it over maxxs drumset 🥺

for the next song i almost fuckin CRIED, he was singing to me so much and gave me a little finger heart and of course the thought in my mind was “why, i don’t deserve this” but then i thought about the tattoo and the past year and i got so emotional i thought i was gonna cry!!! fuck!!!

(gifset post) (video of unfolding flag) (video of holding up flag) (photo)

so yeah basically i am a mess. stan set it off stream catch me if you can and fuckin trans rights babey

#set it off #set it off adventures #ok last big post about this show aldskfjas no more content #sio jan 2020

[ssweeneys]

i’m having a REALLY bad day

or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???

its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.

so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.

anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.

there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada

anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.

and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.

anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.

now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.

HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.

but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?

yeah. right. ok.

so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.

at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.

when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.

so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”

SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.

so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.

NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.

so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.

BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!

omg i cannot at this point i really cannot

but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION

MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT

IM TIRED

IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.

can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.

all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email

its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????

so like i just dont get it

but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...

and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.

and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.

I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.

NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!

why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.

in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY

moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.

yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.

work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.

POINT FUCKING BLANK.

THANK YOU AND GOODBYE

like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.

if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.

onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)

#im not even gonna read over this #its raw #its real #what the fuck ever

[roxannepolice]

But yah rey as a character is just so frustrating you know? Cause like, yeah sure she could be complex with a powerful arc where shes forced to come to terms with the fact she wasted years of her life on self-imposed delusions in a cathartic way, or she could be a flat piece of marketing cardboard which Disney is banking on vagina+superpowers=profit without having to go through that persnicty character flaw overcoming or the like. Because like you said, hearing shes a nobody (which ngl, her assuming she was a somebody wasn’t really ever supported in tfa, just that her family was coming back and she desperately wanted them to) is apparently the worst thing but it changes absolutely nothing, not her approach, not her demeanor , if vaguely sad is the absolute worse a character is gonna experience in a goddamn space opera then yeah, full offense ill take the l on Mary sue discourse but her character will definitely be a boring ass wash. We all make fun of whiny new hope Luke but him being a kinda nuisance to both the audience and those around him is what made is transformation into full blown Jedi knight so powerful. With Rey so far what weve got is badass perfect cinnamon roll finally get her due as such, which is clearly working for some people, but I fail to see how that isn’t spectacularly tone deaf to make a protag in this genre such. Operas about drama, not patting you on the back. Rey (assuming she remains as is) would’ve been fine as a protag s the only piece of Star Wars media we ever got was a new hope. But rn she a chosen one architype (and I know that bunch of ppl are gonna go but the series ‘but shes not the chosen one, Anakin still is, the new series isn’t trying to make her one!’ but lets not beat around the burning bush, if u got a character that walks on water and the reason why is because god said so, ur dealing with a chosen one trope and if a character is star wars is made ultrapowerful in lore breaking ways because force said so? Yeah were dealing with a chosen one.) when we had both the deconstruction and the reconstruction done. Shes a straight hero when the success of the ot rest on hitting the formula near perfect the first time. What exactly is Rey, the individual character, bringing to the table? What makes her story supposedly so important the a perfectly good ending had to be made invalid to tell it? A bunch of ppl will say heroines’ journey! But if that’s the case I gotta say, wheres all the feminine shit? Im serious, if the heroines journey is reintegrating the feminine and realizing ‘oh shit mom had a point’ there where is both the feminine skills/coping mechanism and the mom? I mean I saw some ppl arguing for leia in a ‘reys Persephone!’ meta (she isn’t, you can make a much better case for ben himself as Persephone to be quite frank, yall are focusing so much on the trees ((girl gets abducted by guy)) that u forgot the forest existed, the actually story ((girl winds up queen on the underworld, well gee whiz which character just took control of that after leaving the world of living and a grieving divine mother behind, it’s a mystery apparently) behind, it’s a mystery apparently) ((but seriously though even if we hope for dark rey does anyone assume its gonna be taking control of a dark/dead coded org at least partially at this point, do you, do you really??). but given the fact she had what, one line of screen dialogue that’s breaking ur arm with that stretch. As far as skills go I guess you could make an argument for scavenging, but if that’s the case dlf did a shit job of conveying that as female-coded. Everything about rey in tfa seems deliberately androgynous, and yeah, she had her hair let down/mascara moment, but that’s tied to her ‘failure’ on the supremacy thus something nw.SPEAKIGN OF FAILURES ON THE SUPERAMCY AND LACK THERE OF. I find it kind funny that bunch of reylo bnfs (you know who they are) are all ‘hur dur fanboys/antis are dumb and don’t get story structure.’ And then going, ‘why are yall asking how/assuming rey fucked up in throne room/climax of her story in the second portion/darkest point of her character arc? Why do you hate women/ur own ovaries so much?’ because it like walking into a prefurnished house and being told by the relator ‘HERES THE LIVING ROOM’ and having no damn couch. It’s a living room, I expect a couch here. And in a movie where it’s the low point of a character arc and they drag puppet yoda out to tell me the movie is about failure, I expect a damn failure in whats clearly the climax of the characters arc for this movie. As it stands now there are three possibilities imo. 1st, rey had no failure, she is the pure badass maid o light ppl want and every inch the boring cardboard she is accused of by fanbros, remains static, and is relegated to an also ran to benlo taking the most compelling character trophy this trilogy in 10 yrs2nd possibility and the one im hoping for, failure speech wasn’t just thematic explanation but also foreshadowing, rey fucks up big and dramatic in a way that makes her manage to stand out as unique with both her contemporaries and her predecessors(last part, if its ever to much lemme know pls im sorry i just gotta get it out) 3rd and most likely possibility, rey isn’t the main character, benlo is and that’s why his failure both moral in the throne room and logistic on criat take center stage for the last third or so of the movie. Rey is merely a pov character to tell the dramatic villain protag story they wanted and have their very marketable unproblematic Disney heroine cake too.

Ok, so this discourse kinda died down by now, but thanks to that it’s possible to maybe have a calmer look at it I’m totally not trying to justify my late response.

Anyway, the good result is that quite recently my brother, who’s not overly taken with Rey - or the sequels in general, for that matter - said something which really stuck with me as a possible crux of the problem: 

She’s neither comical nor tragical. Just bland. 

This neither comical nor tragical really struck me. And the more I though about it, the more it was appearing to me that this qualm really applies to the sequels as a whole. The thing is that DLF are essentially telling a straightforward story that they’re trying to make captivatingly convoluted. And not just make, but keep this appearance over four years. And this is... a narrative teeth crasher. Like, when you’re honest about the endgame (in the context of the most structural meanings of comedy and tragedy), you can maintain a decorum, though you can also play with it, of course, whereas when you don’t want to be honest about the endgame, you end up mixing the styles somewhat messily. You can’t break or discuss with the rules without acknowledging them, so to speak. Because the originals were honest about the happy/hopeful endgame (the first episode is title A New Hope ffs), they could allow themselves deeply tragic moments like Larses’ deaths, Han getting frozen, destruction of Alderaan, etc. Because the prequels were open about being a tragedy, they could allow themselves lighthearted comic relief for the sake of lighthearted comic relief. 

The sequels... badly want us to consider the possibility of FO winning and Ben dying unredeemed while simultaneously insisting we root for those things not happening, while appearing conscious we’re definitely not buying the former and the latter only somewhat. And it’s tiresome. Dishonest. And indeed, bland. If the story is a tragedy it will be a bloodcurdlingly real one, if it’s a comedy it will be a borderline grotesque one. 

But yeah, returning to Rey, I guess as the main character she’s a lens which focuses the above problems. A very bitter tragedy of what her parents did t her prevents her from being comfortably comical whereas whoohooos I like thats and prancing like a husky on red bull over idols and visions because it’s for children so it must be hopeful prevents her from being intriguingly tragical. So I guess the intentioned effect was tragicomism but, from pov of an engaged casual fan that is my bro, it’s neither. 

As far as Rey’s heroine’s journey lacking some of the usual elements, I blame it on Disney being... a bit too ambitious, maybe. I think they tried to make a heroine’s journey that isn’t ostentaciously seeped in traditional feminine/masculine traits, maintains the structure without what could be called accidentals. On the one hand, I would point out that hero’s journey has pretty much desexualised itself over time, we are rather accustomed to “shero’s” journeys, but on the other... maybe Disney set out on a too novel a territory and may crack their teeth on it, alongside trying to out-Vader Vader at redemption. To elucidate, “toxic femininity” in which a heroine is supposed to find herself in the beginning of her journey, in Rey’s case is uprooted from any of our usual concepts of feminine-masculine social roles (it’s space, duh). My interpretation is that Rey’s version of toxic femininity kind of exists in contrast with Kylo Ben’s version of toxic masculinity - and since the apparent focus of the story is the attitude towards the past/parent figures, toxic femininity would mean her clutching onto the past. Which is why I predict that some act of IX will find Rey inebriated with apparent success in masculine world, meaning she’ll be the one rejecting the old gods this time - and I would point out that panel in Poe comic where she shows herself more sceptical towards idolisation of past don’t mind me, I’m just expressingmy trash dreams for a proper sith lady Rey.

Then again, Rian Johnson said she already found perfect balance between Luke’s clinginess and Kylo’s rejection of the past, so... idk, maybe I’m giving DLF too much credit again.

As for the Persephone thing, I guess the rub is that this reylo reading focuses less on the traditional reading of the myth (where Demeter is the actual main character and Kore is a Princess Peach MacGuffin) and more of an interpretation of it as one of the eldest (at least in Europe) versions of story depicting a transition of a girl into a woman, making Persephone more of a protagonist. 

Like, y’know, this Persephone (D. G. Rosetti, source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proserpine_(Rossetti_painting))

I’m no expert, but myths can lose their original meanings because of power relations (anyone still remember about Dionysus, the god associated with excessive drinking, going through a very Christ-like death and resurrection?) and I think it’s possible that this is the case with the story of Persephone becoming a pre-scientific explanation of seasons changing over the year. So teah, that’s how I always understood the Persephone theme regarding Rey.

But yes, I must agree that I’m confused about Disney’s handling of the mother figure, which... Look, SW became a legend of a modern myth because of how epically Lucas handled the hero dealing with his very explicit father. So yes, I don’t understand what exactly is their game with Rey Nobody from Nowhere in this regard. It’s one thing that they had a cool idea with giving her no lineage, another that parent figures are an essential element of archetypal journeys and from symbolic viewpoint the case of a female character the biological relationship is even more crucial than in male’s. And I swear to all the ewoks and porgs in the galaxy, I do hope Disney’s idea of Rey healing the mother/daughter divide isn’t through her healing the divide between Leia and Ben. Again, this isn’t the idealistic sphere. Just... no. 

Anyway, I still maintain hope (this whole meta blog is built on hope) that Rey will indeed turn out to have a proper personal mistake which will make her stand out in the saga. I do have to admit, though, that I find your last theory very likely. I mean, even when I read all the reylo metas going oh, Rey is going to have such an exciting arc in IX, she has so much to deal with though of course it’s not going to compromise her morally, it will be sooo exciting, I just... f*ck’s sake, what you’re describing isn’t a dramatic character only a dramatised role model. It’s great if that’s your thing, but don’t claim it is space opera-worthy, in operas people drown themselves because of cursed sailors, kill over a break up, decapitate over a bad dream and get dragged to hell over a dinner, not persuade their fallen lovers to change their ways, let alone patienly wait for them the understand the error of their ways (and if they do it’s doomed to end in someone dying).

#asks #sw negativity #just because i love doesn't mean i can't be critical #heroine's journey #long asks anon

[emypony]

ARES HEADCANONS WITH THE BOYS, AFTER THE BREAK

Some ARES (more like ot2/ot3/ot4 headcanons with Haizaki, Asuto, Nosaka and Nishikage) headcanons for @ozrockbitway (if i remember right dfljkghfdg it’s been long ago since we talked about it, I think??) and @producktions @someatsu @blueberry-pastel @suzunofuusuke @kirinoisbestboy @sinfonylanglader @therealruney @calmystorm-saltycandy (hope u dont mind the tag ^^’’) @shawn-and-aiden-frost-9 i guess if u wanted to read as well @mimirk63 ITS NOT YUUICHI but ya kno ;w;’’

i literally dont even know who else would care about these (mostly joke) headcanons so iM SOWWY if i like, dont tag some ppl ;;

also im sorry that these are like all over the place tho jfldghkfk

ANYWAY with that out of the way

1. so I was discussing about Nishikage baking and. i got it. Nishikage works @ Tasty part time. He makes ambitious creations. Nosaka enjoys watching the behind the scenes. (Asuto will eat anything he makes)

2. Asuto starts hanging around Nosaka and Nishikage thought this would be bad and that Yuuma would stop hanging out with him but is thankfully proven wrong as Asuto pretty much always invites both of them to hang out with him. Nishikage starts to 'adopt' Asuto as Nosaka's friend and feels the need to PROTECC him as well. they also become great friends and this eases Nishikage because Nosaka finally has someone to spend time with that can somewhat get him out of his shell. Related to #1, Asuto will bother Nishikage and ask him if he's cooked something new yet. Nishi is afraid to cook more things at first but is prompted by Asuto because THAT BOY will literally eat anything, bad or good.

3. Nosaka actually likes dry jokes but no one knows since nobody really likes dry jokes and doesn't make them. Asuto ends up with a book EXACTLY about dry jokes and he finds them interesting and funny but not as much as Nosaka, so when he uses one of those jokes it makes Yuuma laugh and it takes everyone by surprise (especially Nishikage)

4. Nosaka snorts when he laughs.

5. I see Asuto and Nosaka becoming friends before Asuto and Haizaki (even if they're acquaintances) Haizaki comes on later along.

6. Asuto is claustrophobic and that's how the ot3 friendship starts. He, Haizaki and Nosaka somehow end up stranded in somewhat of a locker and he starts freaking out. Despite the issues between Nosaka and Haizaki they don't like seeing the cheerful Asuto being scared like that. Asuto asks them to hold his hand and they reluctantly did that even if they didn't like being next to each other. After that incident Asuto was a bit more open around them and uses his 'persuasive' powers to get them to hang out with him.

7. Haizaki is the tallest, followed by Asuto and then Nosaka. Nosaka is a bit conscious about his height and even if Haizaki makes fun of him, Asuto reassures him and tells him its okay.

8. Nosaka would be really bad at portraying his feelings even if it's something simple or complicated so he makes really weird comparisons and nobody understands except Nishikage even if sometimes even he's wondering what's going on in his mind.

9. I originally planned Nosaka to be a Vegan but I don't wanna do that he's just been taught to always eat healthy because there was no other alternative. he sometimes sees Asuto stuffing his face with unhealthy (fast food/other) stuff and it confuses him because he's still like perfect and fit and he doesn't get it. With time Asuto makes him try things he wouldn't normally eat by himself and even if he doesn't eat that regularly, he'll sometimes accept Asuto's invitation to get things he hasn't tried before. He's really big on trying foreign food but maybe once every few months.

This is a lot of Nosaka fdkjghd im sorry i love him a lot AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

10. One day Asuto's friends find him, Nosaka and Haizaki playing cards in his room (i think they'd keep the friendship hidden for a while don't ask me why). Norika would take a liking to Nosaka but not romantic. She ends up doing his nails or make up as a thing. He looks dashing with black polish. Haizaki has none of that and even if Nosaka is really :|  and stoic he'll pretty much go with anything.

11. this was like, a multiple headcanon thingy with @suzunofuusuke and @producktions alike

Nosaka is a heavy sleeper and Nishikage is the opposite. #Nosaka and Nishikage share a bed, fight me. Due to his past Nosaka has nightmares and moves a lot in his sleep so frequently he'll fall from the bed which'll make Nishi wake up and freak tf out because dfljkgf where's Yuuma?? and hes just sleeping on the floor

12. Nishi and Nosaka sometimes both stare at Asuto and how pure he is dfljghfdg like "damn Asuto's a nice friend"

i'll uh, try some Haizaki too since I've basically neglected him holy shit

13. Things get better with Akane and after Asuto basically has him talk things out with Nosaka, he becomes a lot less stressed and angry and finally starts to open up to Asuto, at least. He's a bit awkward at interacting outside the soccer field so it takes a bit of time to be comfortable around both of them, but Asuto always made it easy. He's still a bit intimidated by Nishikage though, even if he has no ill intentions towards Haizaki and they've even successfully hang out together alongisde the other two a few times. They share a love for spicy food.

14. HAIZAKI NEEDS GLASSES and he doesnt like wearing them but he's really cute in them. Asuto would always tell him that he looks cute in them and he wouldn't like it. Men aren't cute. Haizaki isn't cute!! >;C Nosaka would just quietly tell him that they look good on him nonetheless and he'd blush and say 'thanks' and thats their interaction okay #stolen from @someatsu

15. Haizaki has his ears pierced but nobody knows cuz of his long hair and that it's not allowed @ school. He likes to try out diff earrings in his spare time. Asuto catches him one day and never lets him hear the end of it but when they sometimes go walking around shop districts he'd loudly proclaim "Those would look real good on you, Haizaki!" when he'd see any cute earrings and such. poor Hai chan will try to hide from view at that. Nosaka chuckles. also stolen from @soatsuko w permission dw

16. starring guest hiro again with headcanons he shoved into my arms: Haizaki doesn't use social media because he doesn't see the point of it. Had Twitter once but got bored. likes baggy hoodies. probably has a collection of berets (this one's on @araiguma-koon)

17. @arbegagordon gave me an idea so Haizaki and Akane used to play Toontown so now that Akane isn't playing anymore, Haizaki still logs in but gets sad. Through some kind of unconventional means Asuto starts playing Toontown with him because he wants to make him happy and even if Hai chan won't admit it he's pretty happy that Asuto does this for him Nishihkage plays cooking mama Nosaka tries a lot of games but he gets bored fast because he thinks he's not good at them. He REALLY likes the pet games though. EDIT: I FORGOT. NOSAKA PLAYS ALICIA ONLINE AND NONE OF Y’ALL CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE. he likes collecting pets and clothes. he would defs cosplay his AO character omg

18. this was a collaboration of my ideas and @producktions and her analysis post basically she said that no one usually cheers for Nosaka SOOOOOOO, after Asuto finds that out he goes to all his matches and screams like fucking crazy for him and even if Nosaka won't show it he'll smile sometimes to himself because Asuto does this for him and expects nothing in return and just wants to see him smile and it’s OOF so pure

19. Asuto has both Nosaka and Haizaki merch. (you know, for support! Asuto is big on making his friends feel loved) They're both embarrassed by it and whatever they say they can't make him NOT wear it in public, as he's hanging out with THEM.

#inares #inaele #ina11 #ie #inazuma eleven #inazuma eleven ares #ieares #inamori asuto #haizaki ryouhei #nosaka yuuma #nishikage seiya #hcs #headcanons #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafdhkgjd #this is such a mess but i like it #i feel somewhat accomplished writing it #there might be more to come #!! #emy posts #i guess #lol #stupid hcs #but i love them

[fsnowemblem]

Would you do a big post about why you like Noire? I know like nothing about her but I think she's really cute and I wanna know what about her makes you love her so much

you asked for it m’dude

you FREAKING ASKED FOR IT

and i assume that at this point you dont care about awakening support spoilers

In general like her archetype of character, a seemingly fragile quirky character that can go insane/berserk, an example is A.B.A. from guilty gear, i love it so much that my first ever original character that i made is this archetype

I really like her backstory, not like in the sense that i relate, but like in the sense that is very interesting, having a shitty shitty parent that did experiments on her, she ends up being a guinea pig for hexes of her mother, and becomes very shy, very jumpy and she talks very softly and with kind of a broken voice, her mother ends up giving her a talisman that is supposed to be hexed so that noire can draw strenght from it so it will protect her, talisman is just a placebo thats just there for noire to vent up her frustrations, she starts yelling, laughing and becomes way more aggressive, it is not a happy story, when you see noire for the first time she has already gone through so much, that the very fact that she is there to fight still is kind of remarkable, she is so determined that a lot of the supports she has with other ppl usually are impressed by her will power alone, she comes to the army broken, sad and scared, like most of the kid generation to be fair, their world pretty much was destroyed, but she along with the others is so set in making things right that her fears and worries are not gonna stop her, in short terms, she is like actually the strongest and most incredible of the kids that went back in time

I touched on her personallity a bit but she is really cool, even tho she is kinda quiet and doesnt usually involves herself with others, she cares about every single person she interacts with and is ready to help and protect anybody at any time, the best example is the support with pannes kid, dude is as much as a scaredy cat as her and their support starts by her doing him a favor, no questions ask and no hesitation, followed by him being inspired by her conviction of making things right and overcoming her fears, so much so that he stops hiding all together, and that support also shows that she is smart as to when to snap and become all violent and shit and when to keep calm and make ppl listen to her, she has weaponized both her cuteness and her aggresive nature

She is a way bigger human than me, if my mother experimented on me to the point of me becoming her guinea pig, i wouldve been like, lol fuck you never talk to me again, as strong as blood bonds are, i am not one to take shit and expect to make peace later, she on the other hand wants to make amends, and even tho the tharja she makes ameds with is not her mother, she wants to avoid her to be repeated by the mistakes of her parents i think that is so cool too, she is incredible

I just love all the little details of her supports about just being so inspiring to the ppl she talks to and her determination being contageous while never hiding her fears, worries and hesitation, she pushes forward despite her being scared, broken and sad, while other ppl have to be pushed to the point where they will actually say how they feel, i like how honest and direct she is, and i also really love how if she gets frustrated with someone being blatantly lying or being dense as fuck she will just snap and yell the truth out of them or really clearly explain her point so then she can help them get better or help them realize something abuot them, her berserk form is kind of a last resourse in this regard but its super funny and endearing when she just looses patience and tell them in ther faces how it is

But enough about her backstory lets go to gameplay!

she has *the* coolest passive ability, vengance, when you get hit you do your damage, plus the damage you where dealt at i think the luck stat x 2? one of the stats x 2, not only you can level up that stat really easily, she levels it up a lot naturally  and you end up getting vengance like 80% of the attacks if not all of them, she is a fucking killing machine its amazing, she is a bit of a glass cannon tho so be careful when using her, but i ended up using her so much that she started to just take like hits that where just around 20% of her health and subsequently dealing one hit kills, and since she is an archer, she can learn the one hit kill skill that is i believe the same stat as the vengance one, so since she already levels it up so fast naturaly she either does a one shot critical, she does a straight up critical hit that will murder fools straight up OR she will deal damage BACK that destroys ppl, SHE. IS. INCREDIBLE

 She is very resistance heavy and in the tail end missions of awakening you are usually getting bombarded by wizards not only is that helpful, they usually attack her bcus she has the least ammount of health so you can just go destroying magical fools left and right, and this is like, just vanilla noire, the first time i played awakening, gregor (a mercenary) was the parent she inherited a skill from, i made her a mercenary after getting said vengance and one hit kill chance, she gained sol, so when she did some insane damage she cured herself up to full health, proceeding to just freaking MURDER, i went with pretty much just her alone in one of the hollow boxes thingies and she just destroyed the whole map by herself taking like 3 damage total, when gaius was her father in my 2nd or 3rd playthru, she had the vengance stat to 50% so her vengance triggered EVERY SINGLE TIME plus the one hit kill skill she was the deadliest unit i had but she kept her glass cannon-ess trait so i had a healer next to her all the time, that being said tho she was my go to, oh shit this unit is super tanky, les go girl 1 shot it, and she did 100% of the time, and the 3RD TIME (or 2nd, i dunno) Libra was her dad, so i ended up making her a sorcerer, and needless to say, i think she ended up getting less vengance triggers but her magic power alone was dropping any fool that decided to wear metal armor that day and not go prepared for the biggest magic damage in human history

I really cant stress this enough

SHE.IS. A. GOD. DAMN. MONSTER. I. LOVE. HER. SO. MUCH. 

Also needless to say, in one of my 3 playthrus, i just went straight up to grimma with her, she got hit to 1 hp left, did the vengance and got grimma herself to freaking 5 hp left GRIMMA, THE FINAL BOSS, THE finall boss that you usually have to use a falchion to do significant damge, she is the hero we need and deserve.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OF, HER MANIACAL LAUGH IS THE CUTEST SHIT IN THE UNIVERSE SHE LAUGHS LIKE A TRUE DISNEY VILLAN AND DOES THE MOST ADORABLE SQUEAL AT THE END OF IT HOLY SHIT, i played the game in english so maybe its just in the english version BUT DAMN DID THE VA FUCKING NAILED IT its like, so perfect how she goes from insane laughter to with that little little hint of her broken meekly voice, BOY HOWDY i fell in love then and there the first time i heard it, best part, she triggered a skill/got a critical hit so often that i hear BLOOD AND THUNDER!! and her laugh SO MUCH, AND IT NEVER GOT OLD I was allways allways aaaaallways all giddy bcus i love it so much, i have 3 critical triggers that i love with my whole heart in awakening, 1 is noires laugh, 2 is noire yelling blood and thunder and 3 is frederick saying “pick a god and pray” bcus hot damn all of them just give me goose bumps, also continuing in voice lines trends

HER VOICE ACTRESS IS SO GOOD i cannot even begin to think about a better job to do this kind of character her passive voice is so quiet, scared and broken and her aggressive one is SO aggressive there is no inbetween its either 100% or 1% volume and crazyness its incredible, her passive voice is like she is constantly in the brink of tears just by talking, and her aggressive one is in the brink of snapping your spine in half mortal combat style and going back to the archetype i like THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT DUDE, THIS IS THE PINICLE OF SHY GIRL THAT GOES INSANE VOICE

If you thought i was done gushing about her IM JUST BEGINNING, lets move to her overall design shall we?

comming off of the voice actress incredible job, her whole demeanor compliments her voice so well, its one of those designs that you just cant see it any other way (even tho i do some changes to it all the time xD) i just cant imagine her having that voice and *not* looking like that you know? she looks straight up incredible (i could maybe use actual breastplate rather than a boob window with a leather support underneath but hey, i guess nothing is perfect)

Her official art of her drawing back her bow but the arrow being all badly placed and shit is objectively the most adorable picture in the world

The tones of green they used for her are really cool i grew in a place with a lot of trees and i really find them soothing, her whole forest green design just kills me and compliment her browns of belt and leather so well, the diamond pattern is also rul cute rather than the boring line pattern virion has, complimenting her whole deal of her being as beautiful and precious as a diamond

The armor she has on her arm looks so good, and so contrasting to the whole outfit i think its really funny but really badass at the same time, why is she wearing a full on knight arm armor? i have no clue but. i. love. it. she is such a powerful unit that she just needs one arm to defend against scrubs aka all enemy units including grimma itself

HER SQUIGGLY EYEBROWS HOLY SHIT

THE CUTE ROBIN HOOD ASS FEATHER SHE HAS ON HER HEAD, THE HEADBAND, THE FREAKING GOLD HEADBAND DEAR LORD

HER

POOFY 

PANTS 

ARE 

SO 

CUTE

I also really really like how she has like 5 leather belts that go from the belt to her high boots, its real unnecessary and you would think goofy as hell but it ENHANCES the poofy pants so good, now it looks liek a renissance striped poofy pants and i am a sucker for renissance clothing, also, imagine her doing flips and twirls with those, they are gonna follow her flow like a god damn princess dress and god dammit she deserves it bcus she IS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS 100/10 pants/belt combo, she also has the slickest quiver ever for her arrows, which she hangs on her waist and looks rul cute

HER BOOTS are the best boots in gaming, souper cute, super stylish and really cool looking i just love how tall and chunky they are, they are almost wider than her feet, top notch, the little hole pattern on them give them extra stylish points, they are very basic brown, which just goes to show, if you have a good premisse you can slack on some departments and still look cooler than most of the competition, the little beighe frills on the top of it just puts it all together, incredible, amazing, fantastic i would go on a date with those boots and give em smooches

Im a fan of short hair, i am also a fan of puffy hair and above all i am a FAN of poofy short hair, and she has both, excecuted to perfection, her little long hairs on the side to compliment her messy back, it looks incredible, the braided pattern on the top of her head that just SHOWS how much she cares about her cute hair and with reason bcus its the cutest hair ever, 1k/10 extremely kissable forehead to show love and support when words and praise are not enough, will make you think that she deserves an award for greatest person alive or something, so beautiful it will bring you to tears, so beautiful that will make any dark day a bit brighter, so cute that it surpasses any fuzzy animal on the planet, SO BRIGHT AND GORGEOUS THAT IT WILL BURN YOUR EYES, you get my point by now yes?

her poses of nervousness are cute as hell, makes you want to be there to support her in any way you can, but then you realise that you are looking in a mirror and that not only you see that you also need love and support, but you realize that you can give it, it makes you wanna be a better person, and make everyone around you grow with you, its a mirror into your best self, it will bring you to tears and want to ask for forgiveness to anything wrong you have done in your life

You know how sometimes too much of stuff that you like will sometimes not mix well and end up ruining something in the process? not this time m’dude 

every

single

piece

flows and fits so well with every other composing a beautiful song named Noire, a song so beautiful, amazing, incredible, outstanding and mind blowing that i dont think there will ever be a shining light as bright as this in the whole time i have the privilege of walking on this little dot in the universe that we call earth

so when i say that i like everything about Noire i am NOT joking, i love this character to death, and even  if i wrote this thread with a narrative of me starting really tame and gradually getting overly excited to talk about something that i really love culminating in some ridiculous shit, i really do love this character and i wish to write/design a character this appealing someday a character that seems pretty one note and simple but ends up rooting its way into your heart

#fsnow rambles like a god damn moron #noire #fire emblem awakening #i told you i would write a 10k letter essay if you asked me to go more indepth #but nobody listens #fsnow slowly descends into madness

[lokirogersgirl]

Never, Negan

Characters: Negan x Emery /Original Character/

Warnings: Negan’s language, does kissing need a warning, fluff, almost a death?

Authors Note: Ive never written fanfic before, this is literally my first one. So if it’s awful, thats my bad. :(

— • • • —• • • —• • • —• • • —• • • —• • • —• • • —

“Negannnn, that stupid truck is there again!” I heard an uptight Amber yell to him from down the hall.

Recently, a black truck has been slowly driving by the Sanctuary. This has been going on for about a week. It hasn’t posted a threat, hell it hasn’t done anything. It just stops, waits for about a half hour then leaves. Every. Damn. Day. Nobody knows why, but after the third or fourth day people have started to become worried for their safety. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t a little worried too. But Negan has made no effort in trying to solve the puzzle at hand.

“Jesus Christ. Just what I needed today.” He mumbled angrily under his breath. Rubbing his temples, he sighed heavily. “Amber, I don’t know what the fuck you want from me. I already fucking told you I can’t do shit unless they come through the fucking gates.” His bitter voice rumbled through the halls of the Sanctuary.

All his response did was elicit an annoyed huff, and a pathetic stomp from Amber as she walked back into the wives parlor.

Meanwhile, while Amber pissed and moaned about every little thing. The rest of the saviors and I had a meeting. Without Negan.. Now this might sound like a bad idea, but it was for the best. We needed to come up with a plan to convince Negan to do something.

“Emery, whaddya’ think we should do?” Simon queried. His words snapping me out of my racing thoughts.

“Maybe we should just go straight to him.. He’s not that bad. What’s the worst that cou-“ My words were cut off by the slamming of the door behind us.

Oh shit. I thought to myself.

Turning around I was faced with a fuming Negan. He stared at me with a fire in his eyes.

“Well looky looky at what we got here. My saviors, having a meeting without me? Well, excuse the fuck outta me. Anyone wanna tell me what the fuck was so urgent that you fuckers wouldn’t tell me about this super secret meeting?” His dominating voice spoke. I could tell he expected a response and by the looks of peoples faces right now, I was going to be the speaker.

“Well uh, Negan, ya see what happened was.. Well.” I croaked out, having trouble wording what I was going to tell this very angry man. “Come on Emery, you’re a big girl. Spit it the fuck out.” I sighed. “That truck is causing a lot of shit here. People are threatening to leave. You made it clear you couldn’t do anything, so we thought maybe..”

“YOU THOUGHT WHAT? ALL YOU FUCKS THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT MY COMMUNITY WITHOUT YOUR FUCKING LEADER?” He bellowed. Slamming his beloved Lucille down against the hard table. A small piece of her delicate wood flying onto the cement floor.

I shook my head rapidly. “No! Negan we respect you. We really do, but we have to do something. We can’t live in fear that this truck is going to do something. Our lives are at stake.”

I expected him to scream at me, accuse me of trying to undermine his authority. Instead he just stared at me, almost in amusement. Then suddenly he nodded. “Alright. You want this fucking problem fixed so goddamn badly, then tomorrow you are coming with me to watch and see the fucking truck.” He looked me in the eyes. I knew I was screwed. He only wanted me there. Fantastic.

———————————————————————

The next day I woke up full of dread. But I got up anyways, I opted for throwing on a pair of black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and combat boots. I tucked my shirt into my jeans, looked at myself in the mirror. I sighed. It wouldn’t be so bad. He’s not usually an ass to me, I said aloud to myself. Looking at myself a final time, I nodded and walked out the door.

I strolled downstairs and went to get breakfast before having to go with Negan. At least I could be alone. Grabbing my food I sat down alone at a table. At least I’ll be alone I thought? Nope. Nothing goes that easily.

Negan sat next to me, a shit eating grin on his face. “Hey doll, ready for our fucking adventure into the wild?” I looked at him, was he serious? No I was not excited. No one bit. But I nodded and gave him a small smile. “Yah, I can’t wait.” He looked me up and down. I could feel my cheeks heating up. Was he really checking me out right in front of me?

He continued to make small talk with me, his foul language making me laugh every often. Maybe this isn’t going to be so bad. I thought to myself.

I finished eating and Negan stared at me. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you it was impolite to stare?” He laughed at me, “Do I seem like the kinda fuckin’ guy who listens to what my mother tells me?”

“Fair enough.” I simply replied with a grin on my face. “Are you ready to go?” I asked him. “I think I should be the one asking you that fucking question.” A deep, rumbling chuckle came from his mouth. I watched his mouth move, mesmerized by the way he moved his tongue over his teeth. “Lets get this fucking show on the road, shall we doll?” I just nodded, not sure I could form words at the moment.

We walked for what felt like an eternity until we reached the truck. He opened the door for me, I smiled at him. He gave me an almost tender smile back, and closed the door behind me. When he got into the car, he set Lucille down in the middle console. “Where exactly are we going?” I questioned him. “Just down the road, the fuck should be here eventually. Unless we scared the prick off.” I nodded. Just down the road? Thats not too bad.

He drove us down a street or two, I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too distracted by Negan, telling me about how disgusting the world had become. As if I hadn’t noticed already. He turned the car off and reclined his seat slightly. He looked straight ahead and didn’t say anything. I stared at him.

What was he thinking? I pondered.

Suddenly he spoke, “Look who’s fuckin’ staring now.” I looked at him, “I was not!” He laughed at me. “Yes the fuck you were.” I shook my head, he was unbelievable. Looking out the window I found myself getting bored easily. “Wanna play a game?” I quietly questioned him. His eyebrows raised, and he turned to face me.

Oh god.. I’m so embarrassing. I thought silently to myself as his eyes stayed glued on me.

After what felt like years, he broke the silence. “I spy with my little fuckin’ eye.. Something big.” I smiled, surprised he was playing. I looked around. What was he talking about? “Uhh, the trees?” He looked at me. “Not exactly, sweetheart. Two more tries.” Hmm. I scanned the lush trees and all around the area. “Oh! The Sanctuary! The Sanctuary is big.” He laughed at me, I looked at him confused. “One more try doll, maybe look down a bit more.”

I tilted my head in confusion. What the hell was big? “I give up.” I pouted in defeat. He suddenly broke out into laughter at my antics. “Aw, shit sweetheart. You are so fuckin’ pure and innocent. It is cute as shit! I was talkin’ about my dick!” I gasped, I could feel the skin on my cheeks heating up. “Negan!” I punched his arm. He was hunched over laughing. “You are so disgusting!” I yelled at him, blushing like an idiot. I couldn’t wipe the bright smile off my face.

Once he calmed down, he smirked at me. “Your turn, babygirl.” I looked down at the use of the nickname, my face was redder than a tomato at this point. “Hmm. I spy with my little eye. Something green.” He looked at me when I said this. “What the fuck? That is not fuckin’ fair.” I gasped “What do you mean it’s not fair?” A laugh falling from my lips. “Theres a bunch of shit that’s green. We are in the goddamn woods, Emery.”

I simply shrugged, “Oh well. I guess you lose then..” His loud voice boomed in the car. “Fuck no! I will win this game. I am the fucking eye spy king.” I leaned close to him. I could feel his warm breath almost touching my face, “Oh really? Because I could have sworn you were just about to quit. Was that not you Negan?” I knew I was pushing boundaries with him, but I didn’t care. I’d be a liar if I told you I wasn’t attracted to him. I wondered what it’d be like to kiss him. To be his. To be respected the way he was by the people of the Sanctuary.

I cleared those thoughts from my mind. We sat there for hours, just playing the game. Eventually we stopped, I laid my head on Negan’s shoulder. He looked down at me. It felt like he was holding himself back. But he wrapped his arm against my shoulder as I listening to him breathing. I began to ponder if the truck was even going to come.

We stayed like that for another hour, it was starting to get darker now. Finally, we heard the sound of an engine coming up the road. Then a loud crashing sound. Negan and I scrambled up to see what happened, the truck had completely flipped over. There was no way the driver was alive. Negan and I ran over.

Thats when it happened. The drivers limp head leaned forward, pressing against the horn. The noise blared around us, causing me to cover my ears. Negan did the same. The sound of the dead caused me to uncover my ears and look around quickly. A walker was approaching me. Quickly grabbing my knife from our truck, I slid the knife into its rotting head as if it was butter. I noticed the sounds getting louder, turning around I scanned past Negan. My looked over the horde of walkers closing off our only exit. Negan ran to the truck before it was completely blocked off, grabbing Lucille. A walker grabbing onto his jacket, “Fuck!” He cursed. I quickly ran over. Grabbing Negan by his jacket and stabbing the walker. Looking him in the eyes with a shaky voice I spoke, “You need to be careful. Please.” He didn’t say anything. He only nodded and looked around. There was no use. We were almost completely surrounded. We both cleared the area the best we could, but they were getting closer. Negan backed away, a bit hoping to get some space. This only caused the dead to target me, closing in on me they cut me off from Negan. “Negan?!” I shouted. I couldn’t hear him.

“Dammit i’m gonna die.” Is all that ran through my brain. “Fuck.. Where is he..” I whispered, stabbing a few walkers who came a bit to close for my liking. Suddenly I was grabbed from behind and dropped to the ground. I looked up to see Negan now in my place. Fuck. No. I saw them approaching from all sides. Then I didn’t see him at all.

“NEGAN?” I didn’t get a reply. Oh god. He’s dead.

Then I saw her. Lucille. I grabbed her and with a strength I didn’t know I possessed I pushed into the crowd, killing 5 of them at a time. Smashing their heads in, one by one. Some hits would kill two at a time. I needed to find him. I could feel blood spraying all over me, guts flying left and right. I didn’t care. He had to be alive.

I see him. There he is, just a few more. I killed them violently. Swinging left and right. When I finally got into a range where I could grab him. I saw one going to bite into him.

“NO!” I screamed, pushing through some of them. Lifting Lucille up just in time, smashing the walkers head and grabbing Negan. I pulled him out of the crowd.

“Sit your ass down.”

I told him before going back into the crowd, swinging Lucille by my side. Lifting up her weight, and hitting the dead as hard as I could. Adrenaline rushing through my veins. I needed more. I kept hitting them. Not caring about how I looked. I knew my face was dripping in walker blood. My once white shirt, now stained a maroon color. I continued swinging. Left and right. Killing them each off until there were none left. By the time I had killed the last one, I was completely out of breath.

I didn’t want to turn around. What would he think of me? I cleared my mind. Instead I confidently walked over to him, my hips swaying as I strolled over to him. I looked at him while he was on the ground, holding my hand out for him to take. He looked at me in astonishment. Something in his eyes I couldn’t describe. He took my hand, I helped him up and he looked at me.

Suddenly he grabbed my waist, tugging my closer to him. My heart beating rapidly from excitement and the adrenaline. The sun setting in the horizon, the remains of sunlight hitting my face. The sun burning my eyes, but I kept them open to continue looking at him. A breeze brushed over us, a piece of my hair blowing in front of my face. Negan’s hand reached over, brushing the piece of hair away from my face. The anticipation was killing me. He stared at my eyes, then my lips and he slowly leaned in, pressing his lush lips against mine. Immediately taking my breath away. I responded quickly to him, running one hand through his hair. The other hand sliding up his warm chest, landing on his beating heart. He pushed his tongue into my mouth which I accepted. Our tongues doing a dance only we knew. A soft moan falling from my lips, the noise causing him to pull me even closer than I was. He let his hand fall to my cheek, the other on my waist. It was almost as if he was desperate, like I was oxygen and he had been holding his breath his whole life. Eventually, we pulled apart. He stared at me, my lips swollen and my eyes heavy. He looked the same way. The way he stared at me made me feel special, loved, wanted. No words needed to be exchanged. We both felt it, we both knew. I smiled at him. He grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. We walked to the car together silently. When we got in, he looked at me and with an almost pleading voice he spoke, “Don’t leave me, ever.”

I offered him a loving smile, “Never, Negan.”

[harryfeatgaga]

I'm dying laughing at the CEO of the Recording Academy trying to cover his ass cause he knew he made a mistake all while questioning if Harry's reached a "level of excellence to merit a nomination." But gave the Chainsmokers and Meghan fucking Trainor a Grammy. Where was the excellence from them? The Chainsmokers song was played at Frat parties and dirty basement, is that's excellence then I don't want Harry to reach that point.

i literally cannot believe

Anonymous said: My dad just texted me from work to see if I was okay because he got a call from the neighbours saying there’s been the same song on loop on full blast (that song is the Grammy robbed Sign of the Times by the Grammy deserving Harry Edward Styles)

DJNFBGUHFBJNHFIJNBFHJKF MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I bet that one anon you got a few days ago is cackling and trying to talk shit about how they knew Harry isn't talented enough to get a Grammy or something stupid like that

they can ch*ke

Anonymous said: Niall did great things with his album and it got great hype by both the public and music producers so if his album made the deadline I would easily say his album deserved a nomination. But the other boys haven’t even released albums yet and their singles were just good for radio play.

i haven't listened to his album still lol but noah fence from what i saw it did not get nearly as great reviews and hype as harrys lol and idk why the others even bothered fhbgfjkvl

Anonymous said: Boycott the Grammys 2k18!

tru!!!

Anonymous said: I’m just going to air out my grievances if that’s ok- first of all,Harry’s management or record company stuffed up bad cos y’all know damn well the members don’t vote artists with a progressive sound into the rock category so you fucked up there. second - Bruno mars is clearly this ceremony’s Taylor swift cos idk how tf his flimsy song about material things got nominated over a relevant refreshing ballad like SOTT . Harry deserved better , but also, harry needs to fire some incompetent people ✌️

well harry made music he wanted lol not stuff thats gonna get played on the radio which i enjoy lol but yea bruno is the tswift this year....or j*y z

Anonymous said: The thing that sucks is he most likely was planning on going to the Grammys cause he's performing for Fleetwood Mac the day before, but now he's going to be in New York and not going.....

PLEASE :(

Anonymous said: I was really disappointed but more for him than me like my first thought was “I hope he’s alright and not too sad about it” And I really hope he understands that it doesn’t make him any less good because an award is just an award and it never defines who you are as an artist and as a person.

i know I'm so sad for him i hope he's okay :(

Anonymous said: Harry is the best artist in the world right now he doesn’t need awards!!

tru! but it would've been nice to even get a nom/recognition

Anonymous said: You can tell the Grammy' will just nominated any old shite. I mean Ed Sheeran has the biggest album of the year yet he isn't nominated. And i didn't even know JayZ had an album out and he's nominated. Like no offense but American music industry is just shit.

ed is nominated and some other categories which I'm sure he will win and literally same i had no idea jay z had music out lmao

Anonymous said: Scrap what i said, Zayn didn't get nominated. It was for songwriting and he didn't write that song.

good

Anonymous said: He got all that hype, he did that private show for them, they went his his first show in LA. They for sure used him for hype and media attention. Robbing bastards.

seriously

Anonymous said: A LOUIS FAN CLAIMING LOUIS DESERVED A NOM YALL I WAS SAD BUT NOT NOW. NOW A BITCH CANT STOP LAUGHING. HE AIN'T EVER GETTING SHIT

LMAOOOOO BYEEEEE AS IF

Anonymous said: I just hope he knows Grammys ain’t shit

honestly

Anonymous said: I know it’s not the end of the world, but I hope he’s not super disappointed and sad, because everyone hyped him up so much smh. Also, I bet this will change how he does promo and radio shit for his next album, they should get him a radio deal just for the fact that clearly that’s all these loser Grammy voters care about.

well if thats what he has to do to get a grammy i don't think that would be worth it and i don't think he would think that either

Anonymous said: Jay Z can fucking choke like his album? The shit he did to beyonce? I’m not fucking rewarding a man for being like that anymore, he can take his ancient ass somewhere else.

nasty

Anonymous said: Good, now I don’t have to watch the Grammys this year, I’m glad tbh since I’m not really a fan of any of the other nominees and I’m sick to death of hearing the same five songs all fucking year lol, that issues song? Fucking hate it, have since day one, can’t believe it got nominated for shit lol. However Jeff needs to get Harry a radio deal since clearly that’s all that matters to voters, considering Harry did all the courting of the voters he could and still got fucked.

i literally haven't even heard most of whats nominated its such a joke

Anonymous said: Most nominees in the important categories are poc so I’m not completely mad and besides Despacito or however you write it (which is a horrible song) they nominated well deserved ones. I still think SOTT should’ve got at least one nomination but I think that maybe because harry is fresh out of the oven they’re not gonna straight up give him a nomination even if he deserves it.

yea i mean its awesome theres actually diversity this year but SOTT literally deserved a ROTY nom

Anonymous said: Nah Harry will get Brit nominations because he’s respected in his own country, the Brits also nominated 1D they don’t hold being in a boy band against him which clearly the Grammy voters do, which is a real shame tbh. But the Grammys are continuing to dig their own grave and become more and more unimportant every year.

i cant wait till the grammys just make such a food of themselves no one goes

Anonymous said: Pls the whole Grammys is a conspiracy theory lol I told you

a mess

Anonymous said: The Grammys lost all credibility after giving Adele Album of the Year last year and not Beyonce. They stick to the basics and just anyone who doesn't "break the rules of music" Harry's first solo song was a 6 minute long rock ballad, which doesn't go with what was expected to be put out. They don't care for originality or you know talent, that's why Ed Sheeran's wack ass has won 🤷🏼‍♀️

SERIOUSLY

Anonymous said: He'll probably get nominated for Song of the year and Video of the year at the Brits. Pretty sure both are fan voted. Maybe best male as well. Also maybe best album but then again probably not because it depends. Also maybe global success. I can't think who else would get that right now. Maybe Ed Sheeran again.

i hope so

Anonymous said: Grammys? I don’t know her. Anyway I hope Harry knows how proud everyone is of him and I hope he’s proud of himself I love my baby 🤧💕

ME!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: i feel so much for harry i mean he did everything he could he put out a phenomenal single and a stellar album and worked with amazing producers and writers and did the grammy performance thing and all that stuff with cbs and like i know im biased but he deserves SOME recognition for all of that like he really did put out amazing music this year that was so much more worthy than despacito like come on he was robbed i just hope he feels okay and valid bc he IS :(

i know :( like i hope he knows he still has done such incredible things this year and his album is so good and he doesn't need a stupid grammy anyway

Anonymous said: Taylor is nominated for two (one for the country song she wrote). Like no offense the the American music industry but you need to get your head out of Taylor arse and stop being snobs. SOTT deserved a nomination.

when will they stop kissing her ass

Anonymous said: Harry broke records held by legends, had a BBC special, performed at the record academy, and sold out an arena tour in minutes. So Julia Michaels and Ed Sheehan can take their boring ass music along with their nominations and shove it up their asses.

TBH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I’m sorry but I have to point out the irony. The lyrics of the song are literally stop your crying it’s a sign of the times. and I know there’s a deeper meaning, but this year fucking sucks

i know :(

Anonymous said: All that hype for nothing. Boy was robbed. Sign of the times deserves a Grammy.

ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: Everyone knows no one, NO ONE deserved a nomination more then Harry. White old men disappointing me again. Like every fucking person said Harry deserved one. ISSUES AS SONG OF THE YEAR? YALL I NEED THEIR CRACK DEALER CAUSE CLEARLY ITS SOME GOOD SHIT TO GET YOU TO THINK FUCKING ISSUES IS SONG OF THE YEAR. Nah fuck them.

FUCK THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I’m so?? Noah fence but the songs that got nominated? What the fuck???? Harry deserved to be up there whether it was roty or aoty idc he just deserves to be nominated.

seriously

Anonymous said: LISTEN in 10 years time people will look back and say why the fuck wasn’t SOTT a Grammy winner... he is timeless and he’ll win in the end!! The Grammys are fucked

THEY WILL REGRET IT

Anonymous said: The Grammys just proved again how much they don’t matter lol, Harry’s song and album was on every single list as one of the best of the entire year, and the you know who wasn’t? Most of those other songs lmao so whatever man I know the Grammys matters to harry, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore they continue to be irrelevant and continue to nominate mediocrity.

its such a joke lmao

Anonymous said: Yeah honestly the Grammys really do only care about awarding the same people over and over again, and it’s like, no offense but who cares lol. I’m sure Jay Zs album is good but he’s nearly 50 and been nominated a ton like idc anymore lol. And I like Bruno mars but seriously? The songs he was nominated for really aren’t that great lmao.

seriously tho like j*y z has enough awards

[latenightbotanist]

I have feelings about the ode to joy and im going to dump them on you

At the time i am writing this part i have suffered through twenty two (22) hours of “ode to joy” repeated in my brains so you are gonna suffer with me now. Srsly, ask @madgronkish i kinda lost it around noon.. Anyways. First thought when i heard it was literally" theyre not going to fucking reunite them to THAT SONG??!?!“ Whilst i was wrong about sherlock driving the car…they still did that. Thanks mofftiss.

Ok now down to business. First off, DISCLAIMER, i am in no way qualified to do this? I dont know much about music and have like half an experience at writing meta? so..sorry in advance, maybe just look at this as inspiration and well..gay feelings bc i have enough of those to go around rn.

I will also tag some lovely people who actually know how to do this whole meta thing, and who knows, maybe one of you actually reads this mess and makes somethin out of it? Possibly? Idk, i dont blame you if you dont, really. @quietlyprim @loudest-subtext-in-tv @joolabee @hudders-and-hiddles @love-in-mind-palace @teapotsubtext @beejohnlocked @kinklock @marcelock @gaytectives @ormondsacker @culverton

So.. for all of you who dont know, ode to joy (originally “freude, schöner götterfunken”) is part of beethoven’s 9th symphony, it is the first ever symphony to incorporate voices, the lyrics mostly come from schillers “Ode an die Freude” and the melody itself has been the european anthem since 1972 (1985 if you insist on EU).

Ok so lets have a quick look at the lyrics(and i really mean quick, these are my notes from this morning, not exactly coherent but enough to get a general idea of my feelings about this, we’ll get into more detail later) i also put both the english and german version bc i felt at some points things got lost in translation, but honestly i dont know what to do about that so yeah, if you speak german, good for you, if not and by the end if this youre not bored to death and still have questions dont hesitate to ask i will awkwardly but gladly try to elaborate (this applies not only to lyrics btw)

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!


Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen,


und freudenvollere.

/

Oh friends, not these sounds!


Let us instead strike up more pleasing


and more joyful ones!

(Literally lets have happier stories, also the score.. yes lets get the johnlock theme back,please)

Freude!
Freude! / Joy!
Joy!

Freude, schöner Götterfunken


Tochter aus Elysium,


Wir betreten feuertrunken,


Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!


Deine Zauber binden wieder


Was die Mode streng geteilt;


Alle Menschen werden Brüder,


Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

/ Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,


Daughter from Elysium, 

 
We enter, burning with fervour,             (Cant set the heart on fire if its

 
heavenly being, your sanctuary!              already burning w/ love, yall)


Your magic brings together 


what custom has sternly divided.               (Gayyyy!!!!!)


All men shall become brothers,           (Secret brothers,reunion…)


wherever your gentle wings hover.      

(Idk, mrs hudson is an angel?)

/

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,


Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;

 
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,


Mische seinen Jubel ein!


Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele


Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund

!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle


Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

/

Whoever has been lucky enough.         (Luckiest man in the world,


to become a friend to a friend,                 my only friend, … ) 

 Whoever has found a beloved wife,


let him join our songs of praise!               (Uh….how bout no?)


Yes, and anyone who can call one soul


his own on this earth!                                       (My john…..)


Any who cannot,

let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!   (Mary crying,then disappearing)

/

Freude trinken alle Wesen


An den Brüsten der Natur;


Alle Guten, alle Bösen


Folgen ihrer Rosenspur

.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,


Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;*

(Like.. sherlock died and
 came back for john what more proof??)

 Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,

 
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. 

Every creature drinks in joy


at nature’s breast;


Good and Bad alike


follow her trail of roses.                  (Good and bad, rosie, hmmmm)


She gives us kisses and wine,


a true friend, even in death;              (Or only in death?hey mary)


Even the worm was given desire,     (Mycroft? Nah,probs moriarty)


and the cherub stands before God.    (Sherlock, my lil cherub)

/

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen

Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,

 (Plans…ominous)


Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,

 
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle


through the glorious universe,


So you, brothers, should run your course,             (the way it was always


joyfully, like a conquering hero.                                  meant to be…..) 

/

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!


Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!


Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt


Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.


Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?


Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?


Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt!


Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

/

Be embraced, you millions!


This kiss is for the whole world!             (,!!???? Like???????Yes pls)


Brothers, above the canopy of stars


must dwell a loving father.                                (Or two? Hey dads)


Do you bow down before Him, you millions?


Do you sense your Creator, o world?


Seek Him above the canopy of stars!


He must dwell beyond the stars.

Well that was……….. kinda gay. Yeah yeah i know its just a queer reading no i dont believe it was intended to be gay by either beethoven or schiller (or was it?? Irdk) but. in the context of the show. which is rather what were looking at. Pretty damn gay, right?

Ok lets have a look at my absolute favourite lines first:

Your magic brings together/what custom has sternly divided.

Well… i think we can all agree that society has, quite sternly indeed, divided holmes and watson, romantically. Homosexuality just simply wasnt a custom, or at least very frowned upon, mildly speaking. It is rather magical to watch this wrong being righted though, i should think. More specifically in bbc sherlock, the divide has come through a custom of not speaking to each other, and guess what?? Yeah hudders is friggin done with that bs these two are talking now!

And then…

Be embraced, you millions!/This kiss is for the whole world!

*shrieking* do i? Do i really need to talk about this? I think not. This just…. yeah. I mean really….. I would like to add at this point that, at least to my ears, embraced sounds like a rather tame option of translation. “Umschlungen”, to me personally conveys a certain vigour, almost as if the embrace might… idk.. come as a surprise to some extend? Take the air from some peoples lungs? Yeah dunno what that could be about……

If you still need more i guess i could just blubber some more about it all but tbh what is structure? so yeah, here we go, feel free to leave anytime i mean its already pretty gay and hurts my heart i wont blame you if you think 

•WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE REALM OF JOY… yep thats happening things are getting happy, please, god, let them actually. And this joy that we will feel when John and Sherlock ( finally) get together will mend all the wrong thats been done to those two, and us Holmes fans, during all these years of being kept apart by society and norms and customs, homophobia and heteronormativity. Were entering a sanctuary, we are literally save here!

•General message of schiller’s ode to joy is literally that HUMAN CONNECTIONS ARE THE CROWN OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE like wow yes thank you it is as if human connections were the stuff that…completes you as a human being. Say what? 

•Not only is this true for johnlock but also for our entire community, were bound together by the joy of this show, our joy will mend what heteronormativty destroyed, the joy of their kiss will unite us, we will embrace it and the joyfull gayness will embrace us! 

 •The fact that its literally such a groundbreaking piece of music. There have been symphonies over and over but this is new, this is different, he incorporated voices. Groundbreaking,earthshattering… u get it. Seriously if anyone who has even a slither of a clue about music wants to educate me on what the inclusion of voices could stand for please im begging enlighten me my brains too fried im already struggling to get this done(as you might be able to tell. I am so sorry)

 And now, onto some more shit i stumbled upon in the original poem that, sadly, didnt make it into the song but: 

•Have patience for a better world to come, god(mofftiss) is good and will give you what you deserve

•Forget hatred and revenge, forgive your (arch)enemy who shall not have to cry or be rueful (ahem mary. Also possibly mycroft to some extent who knows whats gonna happen) 

•Bravery even in agony,help where innocence is weeping (hi john) 

•Something about oaths and telling the truth to your friends as well as enemies and how lies will bring everything down…… 

•Narrowing the circle, making oaths with wine and staying faithful(keep believing!!) 

•Salvation from tyranns, hope to the dying, mercy in council, forgiving of sins and ENDING HELL well ok then yes to all! 

 No honestly theres a lot and im horrifically underqualified and have a headache so i’ll stop now. If you actually read this whole mess of a thing.. thank you. Bless your soul. I’ll make you an origami elephant or something

#oh wow look #my first meta #contributing #sherlock #bbc sherlock #s4 #sherlock season 4 #sherlock s4 #tld #the lying detective #sherlock soundtrack #sherlock meta #ode to joy #meta #mine #textpost #my meta

[isaacathom]

I should be thinking about Zeke and his deal but instead im thinking about how i can fuck with all the gym leaders and have a bunch of them be my other characters.

for instance, all my ggs characters?? perfectly equipped to exist in Urica. considering Urica is victoria and ggs literally takes place in victoria. its a match made in heaven. i can also totally include Black, in an aesthetic sense - i can absolutely take her black with green highlight aesthetic and put it on like, a Dark type gym leader. i can imagine it

only issue is i diiid want the gym leaders to have some impact, to have some INPUT on the story as a whole. something like the ending of bw1 when all the gym leaders (except the triplets cause fuck em i guess?) showed up at the castle to help. but a lil more? include the e4 in on the scheme. the champion herself is 100% present and is even personally responsible for arresting Dante at the end. yknow. so having the gym leaders be a bunch of characters who shouldnt /really/ be there is sorta weird for that, a little counter intuitive. at least with the Black thing, its just her look, not actually her. mostly because Black is a straight up shadow monster. though, if its her aesthetic, shoooulllld the gym leader use a wheelchair too? that would complete the look. i feel like if there is a gym leader with a wheelchair, either they should have psychic pokemon (because that makes sense in a practical way) or theyre gym needs to be placed very precisely. if i want that gym leader to actually participate, their gym either needs to be the City gym (yknow, the one you can skip by fighting Rhia, though you’ll need to come back for it eventually) or one of the very close ones, orrrr they can be placed further away and removed from the story climax by saying ‘well, how did you really EXPECT them to get here???’. since, like.... if they need their wheelchair, they HAVE to travel manually. unless their pokemon, like a big fuck off bird, can have the leader on their back and the wheelchair in their claws?? but then how does the leader get on the back. also it has to be a Big Fucking Bird, like a gigantic bird, the biggest bird, the strongest bird. uh, one idea would be for the leader to actually stay in the chair and have them like, locked into a seat on the back? if that makes sense? but thats also logistically a pain. guess thats what a psychic pokemon would be for, huh? but if the bird wouldnt work, theres no other real way to get around beyond travelling by car or plane or whatever. so if their gym is aways, they cant get to the city on short notice.

it would actually kind of work if theyre the Eastern gym leader, from that town where Jun is from, where Rhia lives. it sorta fits the idea of that place being badly removed and poorly accessible due to a lack of like, provisions made to help it. so this gym leader is restricted solely to their community, helping with local problems, and can only really leave their town with a LOT of planning. a lot of effort has to go into them travelling a long distance. they cant just go west without help, its a goddamn mountain. 0/10 travel safety.

im not sure which of the options i prefer. having all 8 gym leaders + zeke + elliot + the elite 4 (possibly including that guy who is leaving???) + the champion is a lot of fucking people. so having a few of the gym leaders sit out makes sense? just to reduce clutter. so if a characters situation means it would make sense for them to not be present, why not capitalise? so having a wheelchair bound gym leader live on the other side of the mountain and thus have difficulty accessing the City works for that purpose. admittedly gym leaders can also be removed from the proceedings through the actions of the Team, by having a bunch of team members head to a few specific gyms and distract them.

thatd be fun. ok, so we can totally have a Black themed gym leader, wherever they might end up being in terms of the regions layout. they’d be one of 4 types - Dark, Ghost, Psychic, or Flying. the first two are thematic, the latter two are practical.

for others.... well. there has to be a water gym leader, who runs the gym out of the remains of the ‘Kingslake’ town. i dont really have a character who fits this, except for Ash from EC. which could work, but i dont think his design really fits. uh.... we could include one of the GGS characters, due to the urica/vic thing. of course, which one? by general ages, the only character who really fits is Katja, who would be..... uh..... uhm. hmm...... normal??? she’d essentially be whitney, if i think about it, which is also kinda boring. also i hate whitney and i wouldnt do that to anyone. steel COULD also work? which would place her later on, which works fine, since she doesnt live in the same suburb as the other ggs characters. being an Adult and all. she definitely lived close to melbourne, but for game balancing itd be totally acceptable to place her further away, like Geelong. the alternative is to have one of the younger ggs characters (Read: fucking all of them, theyre all like 16-18) be a really early on gym leader, like... Roxanne? or Cheren. definitely roxanne, at least. but for that, which one, and what type?? i feel like most of their types arent like, super good first gym material? Vivian would be fighting, Kay would be Ice, Sonya would bee... hold on. either electric or water, i suppose. and Isaac would be Psychic. Sonya could work, though i feel like if she is included, then Isaac should be as well?? theyre a duo??? which... hmm... actually, wait, fuck, Isaac and Sonya are both straight up adults, arent they. yea, fuck, theyre uni students. oh theyre totally golden, then. have Sonya be Electric or Water (or Flying, i guess?? or grass??? her power set is very.... broad) and have Isaac be the Psychic gym leader from the next town over. and also not be called Isaac because i already decided i wanted to change that??? besides i wanna have a fire type elite 4 named Isaac with a Ninetales because this is my game and im allowed to have myself be a goddamn elite 4, suckers.

if Sonya is water, that makes her the King Lake gym leader. which... yea, that works. isnt exact to her position in ggs, but it fits. making [Isaac] either the City gym leader (which si also like.... the 2nd or 3rd gym??? which feels too early for a psychic gym, but ill check) orr shes further north. beechworth might be too far north but theres plenty of space between kinglake and beechworth for a gym, i think. well... hmm. fantina is a ghost gym and she was third in platinum, which means its totally feasible to have a psychic gym be right up front. plus, hmmn, hold on. does the player go clockwise or counter clockwise? the region as i have it really roughly in my head is that its a rough loop, with some connecting points back to the city (think kalos but not shit cheers, no stupid black outs in this bitch). so when the player gets to the city, do they go north along the west side of the mountains? or south west down the coast towards geelong? i guess the issue is how you get across the mountains - you almost definitely need strength and rock smash to get through. but why would you get those hms in the west? suurely  the towns closest to the mountains would have this stuff? you could maybe justify Strength being elsewhere? that could be interesting. you could also have the Beechworth town be later, despite being a clockwise progression. maybe you need a specific hm to get that far north, you get there, then you get strength? idk.  sorta complex. but if i had both Sonya and [Isaac], id want them to be right after each other? though i suppose separating them by games progression but having them be physically close makes sense... and since the Kinglake town is ‘dangerous’ in Urica due to the bushfires, it makes sense to prevent you going directly to it from melbourne? so counter clockwise down the coast makes more sense then? sure. yea aight.

anybody else? thats 3 gym leaders. boi. boi fuck. well, there IS the EC crew, who are also perfectly open for these positions. the kids from RS, well, not so much, unless they were a gimmick trio like striaton. triple battles? fuck me dude imagine a triple battle gym battle, god, dude, holy shit, thatd be sick. /i/ wouldnt, but damn, imagine. god i wish the 3ds was powerful enough to handle triple battles without having a seizure. (in 3d anyway. iirc it ran fine with 2d? admit i didnt triple battle TOO much). so, no RS. EC can. uh... well.... Violet is available as a Fire leader, she’d be fun. Crystal could easily be there too, as aaaaa.... Grass? Grass gym? yea. which you’d want to be fairly early? well, 4th works too. would that make sense based on their surroundings, though. also, these are a lot of girls. i can include Skye as a flying type, but i cant include Will because he’s a dark type (unless i make the Black one a Ghost type, which is acceptable, certainly) but then thats an overwhelming number of character. thatd be 7, if i included 4 of the ec cast + two ggs + black. thats uh... thats too many? 3 might work better. maybe 5? like have it be black, [isaac], sonya, skye, and will? w/ skye probably changing his name to Not Be Shit, thanks, fuck. that leaves 3 original ocs. and Black can be any gender, and would essentially BE a new character, jsut with Black’s aesthetic. purely because i should stop trying to put Black in my stories. so, 4? two ggs and two ec? yea. Isaac as Psychic, and the 2nd gym (again, the skippable one). Sonya as Water, and the new guardian of [Kinglake]. [Skye] as Flying, likely further down the coast, maybe geelong? warnambool? any coastal city works if its got high enough cliffs, my guy. Will as Dark works fine for basically anywhere, but i think after Skye in progression. i like that.

then this Ghosty Fan who probably shouldnt be the last gym leader...... hmm.... but then where?? they could be up near the desert, where the old team base is??? someone has to be that gym leader. why would they be dressed in black in the desert? thats a good goddamn question. maybe not. man, it depends on where the gym towns are as to where the ghost goes. the desert is not the place, though. 0/10 not a good place. certainly not with that outfit. like, ghost would ALMOST make sense for that location due to the team base, and it being tied to this idea of it being the Ghost of the team, or where Seren’s ‘ghost’ is located. notably, Elliot will not come with you to the desert town. he just wont. he wont do it, dude. he’ll meet you at the entrance and say ‘yea good luck’ and he wont come in with you. so ghost might be fitting for that alone? but with the physical design? nah. but they shouldnt be TOO far back, right? though, since Acerola is like.... uh.... 5-6th gym leader equivalent in terms of when her trial occurs, i dont see any reason i couldnt have a ghost gym appear later on. its just that those that exist so far are all far more forward, i guess. im down for that??? maybe beechworth, or, again, the eastern thingo. idk. im gonna have to like, plannnn the region out some more. OOH, fuck, i was gonna include phillip island/pseudo tasmania too, fuck, where the fuck does THAT slot into progression. fuuuuck. uuuuuuuh. shit. where DOES that fit. after skye???? like, you fight Skye over in Geelong or whatever, , you get surf, you go on a big surfing adventure? why would.... the flying gym leader..... give you surf.... like, ok, the Water gym leader cant give you surf, because shes busy and thatd be REALLY late in the game to get Surf. considering most gens are like, badge 3-5 for surf (as an out of battle move) which would place it at a gym betweeeeeen Isaac and Skye? since there likely is one??? hmm..... hmmmmmmm.........

im thinking either the island or the east should be post game. OR, OH FUCK, the elite 4 could be on the island, fuck, we solved it, fuckers we’ve done it, the island is the champions village. there are probably some other spots though. kinglake, for one. ooh, that’ll be neat. you start on the other side of the lake and you have to surf over and its all nice and then BAM everythings burnt to shit my guy. nice. i like it. see that works. means i can introduce Surf as a usable hm whenevvvver. or just attach it to Skye because who cares, honestly, and attach Fly to the desert one. ooh, and that could be fun. like, you fight that gym leader, they go ‘now you have my badge, you can use fly! do you have fly? oh, you dont? hmm. You’re hanging with Elliot, right? maybe ask him. I’d have asked him in advance but he doesn’t like coming to this town. bad memories, I’ve heard’ and thatd be like, your first really blatant hint that Elliots got a past. you could even ask him about it next time you see him, alongside asking if he knows where you can get the Fly Hm (he MIGHT have it, idk). and hed go ‘huh? oh, haha, you know, sometimes small events happen, and theyre nothing major, of course, but they stick in your head and they taint a place, huh?’ or something really obviously dodging. then later Rhia spills the juice. nice.

i feel like there should be other places to use surf, though. perhaps surf is required in the mountain to get to the East? i can see that. that basically works.

ok i gotta fuckign wrap up ive had this post opn for like 3.5 hours jesus fuck

#story blogging #codename seren #long post #i got VERY uh. distracted? invested? all of them above and more #just went on a few thought trains. my ultimate conclusion is i really need to rough about the actual laout of Urica #so i can place gyms and hms n shit. so i know the structure

[ellebeebee]

2.537

Part Seven

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six

Phrixus Jaril, 13, moves to the Citadel at a delicate age: namely, the peak of his teenage angst. He doesn’t expect much from these rich Citadel kids. But then he meets the Ryder twins, and all their friends, and realizes that he may have been a wee bit wrong about things. His relationship with Mira Ryder evolves over the years, and he never expected things to end up the way they did.

2970 words, Female Ryder|Sara Ryder/Original Male Turian Character, teen rating

AO3

-

He hadn’t really gotten to know Jyra Kraetoq, of the lower Citadel wards, during basic. And two months into advanced training, he still knew jack-all about her. He and Ruq tended to include her at meal times and in down time, because they came from the same basic squad. And they were usually in the same fire team. But the most they’d gotten her to say about herself was that she could probably infiltrate any system of ductwork, felt strongly that anyone not carrying at least two sidepieces and knives was asking for it, and didn’t believe in eating meat. Even the vat-cloned “meat” that was so often a camp staple.

She was okay, though. Good with tech and a pistol.

He never saw Kraetoq after training; last he’d heard, she had a post out near geth space– some joint op with both Alliance and Flotilla forces cleaning up leftovers from the Battle of the Citadel. Ruq, unfortunately, stuck to him like varren shit. Some years after boot camp, they met again at the fringes of the Attican Traverse. Slaver hunting. But even without meeting up with Ruq again, he recalled these two in particular because they gave him some advice he should have listened to. Sure, Kraetoq went through partners like tp, and Ruq was so dense he’d have someone sticking their mandibles straight up into his before he realized they were interested– but still. You see the splinter in someone else’s eye better than the log in yours or whatever.

During one evening’s free time, most of their squad and the other squads in the company were in the rec room. Kraetoq had stood from the table she, Phrixus, and Ruq had been sitting at.

She whistled at him. “Jaril. Latrine.”

Feet propped on the table top, Phrixus looked up from his omnitool. “Take a female.”

They (meaning everyone under sergeant rank) had to walk around the camp in pairs, usualy male-male and female-female, but in cases of male-female you took three. One male, two females or one female, two males. It was kind of a pain in the middle of the night when someone had to pee really bad and had to wait on someone to wake up and stop cursing you for waking you up.

“I could make the obvious joke here,” Kraetoq drawled. “But let’s just save time and go already.”

He didn’t feel like arguing, so he dropped his feet and shoved at Ruq, napping on the table with his head in his arms. Ruq grumbled some but got up anyway. A short walk later, the two of them leaned against the wall outside the female latrine, Ruq half falling asleep again and Phrixus with his mandibles deep in his tool.

And his head was still mired elsewhere when Kraetoq came out, and the other two were halfway down the hallway.

“Jaril,” Ruq called.

He looked up, and pushed off the wall. And when he followed after them, and passed by them, Ruq got sneaky and shot out a hand to grab onto his wrist. Jerking, he whipped Phrixus’s hand around so that he could look at the omnitool, too.

“I’m not gonna forget you–” he read out loud. He whistled. “How darling. Romantic, even. How much did you pay the guy to write all this for your sour ass?”

Quicker than Ruq could react, Phrixus flicked him sharply on the forehead with his free hand.

“Shit–”

“Dumbass,” he told Ruq.

His hand returned to him, he turned off his omnitool. He’d been browsing through his old message logs. The people in them almost felt like… strangers. At what point had they stopped writing to each other like that, like… Their feelings were so easy to admit. To just spit out. It hadn’t even been a year since he’d written that line Ruq used, but it felt like a lifetime.

The three of them walked back to the rec area with Ruq shrilling about the mark Phrixus probably left. Kraetoq glanced at him. At the face he was making.

“Trouble in paradise?” she asked.

He glanced at her. Shrugged. “My girlfriend. Lately she’s… acting like a damn princess. I’m here, busting my ass, and…” He shrugged again. “It’s just hard to talk to her lately.”

They dropped into their old seats. Propped their feet up again. And Kraetoq didn’t say anything, so he thought the subject was dropped. But then she cleared her throat.

“Maybe she’s acting like a princess because she is one? Maybe every girl is a bit of a princess. Just some don’t get the chance to act like it.”

He looked at her. And shrugged and rolled his eyes because he was a damn idiot and thought she was complaining about having to nag them about walking her to the latrine, and not that she was saying something he should have really heard.

He should have been worried when Mira started going out again. Since the move to the dorms, Forta had decided to cut the drinking and work on lifting and his overall fitness. Of course, the timing and the amount of enthusiasm he threw into this should have worried Phrixus for an altogether different reason. Mira, though, went back to sneaking out with Aela and all the old suspects back home. He’d thought at first it was her just going back to things like normal. But then at some point she and Aela got bored of all the same old house parties.

[mira] soooo

[phrixus] yeah

[mira] me n aela have been up to no good

[mira] ;D

[phrixus] do i really want to hear this

[mira] yesss

[mira] you do

[mira] so u kno how ur csn is tied to ur face recs and thats how you get id’ed for bars and stuff

If at any time you are a citizen of Citadel space, you receive a constantly updating three-dimensional face scan that will be associated with a Citadel Space Number and your various specs. This information is stored with various police and government databases, which vendors of regulated goods and services are required to access before selling to you.

[phrixus] yeah…

[mira] well, we met this asari who knows someone that will program a jump in scanner software when your face is scanned so it looks like you’re legal

[mira] its expensive

[mira] but i think its worth it

[phrixus] mira

[phrixus] are you for real right now

[mira] what

[phrixus] you’re planning on going to bars and clubs

[phrixus] you’re a kid

[phrixus] you know that’s fucking dangerous

[phrixus] there are creeps out there

[mira] yeah i know

[mira] we’re not going to be stupid about it

[mira] whats with you

[mira] you used to be into this stuff

[phrixus] well maybe i just have my priorities straight

[mira] and i dont?

[phrixus] you’re failing half your classes, you skip too much, all you really seem to care about anymore is partying

[phrixus] you’re not even going to the gun ranges or the arena

[phrixus] and aela just keeps making it worse

[mira] you dont know anything

[mira] aela has been there for me

[mira] she actually listens to me

[mira] not like you anymore

[mira] you used to give a shit about my life

[mira] now im lucky if you even send a message once a day

[mira] you used to tell me things

[mira] now i dont know anything about what youre doing

[mira] or how you are

[mira] youve changed and i dont even know you anymore

[phrixus] you think i wanted it like this

[phrixus] im here because its my responsibility

[phrixus] im doing my duty and i dont have all the fucking time in the world to answer every message

[phrixus] especially all this crap about how hungover you are or whining about how expensive your fake id will be

[phrixus] im here doing real work in the real world

[phrixus] not like you and aela out in la la land over there

[phrixus] im getting my life together not fucking wasting it

[mira] no youre not youre just being an asshole

[mira] maybe everyone was right about you

[mira] youre not shy or misunderstood or whatever

[mira] youre just a selfish jerk

[mira] you have no idea how to care about anyone other than yourself

[mira] and i bet none of this is new

[mira] youve always looked down on me

[mira] youre just a fucking emotional leech

[mira] but dont worry i wont bother you again with my screwed up life

-

They didn’t talk for two weeks.

He had never been angry at anyone, had never been angry at her in this way before. He’d never been hurt in this way.

He aced an impromptu fire and movement drill, earned praise from the company’s captain. He memorized all of the regs concerning the movement of refugees from an unsecured location to a secured location. He learned how to properly fire heavy artillery, and how to decimate an air raid with a dazzling firework display.

All the while pretending to not think about it. All the while stewing.

He felt like shit.

He ignored calls from home, from his moms and his old friends. All the messages. He told no one about the fight. Maybe he thought if he kept quiet, it would cease to exist. Just be erased from the history of the universe if no one could remember it.

But him ignoring it wasn’t going to erase the logs in his omnitool, or make her forget.

He just felt like shit.

When did things get so bad? How could it have been, just a year ago, that he felt there was no one who knew him better, that he trusted more, and then that same person turned into a stranger? Someone he couldn’t understand, someone who he couldn’t confide in or vice-versa? How the fuck was it possible that someone you’d shared a bed with– the only person you’d touched or touched you could turn into… an enemy?

And what was it in him that just… could do nothing to help her. Her mother was dying. And he couldn’t do anything. He hadn’t been able to comfort her, say anything of significance for her. He was useless.

If he were honest, and not trying to forget the whole thing, he’d have to admit he didn’t have much right to criticize her.

Where did the trust get broken? Where did the understanding go? Where did that warm afternoon air go, sliding down their bare backs? Where did the quiet rustling as they shifted closer go? And her smile– when was the last time he’d made her smile?

That hit some deep spot in him, some horribly tender place that wasn’t protected by plates or armor. A place he’d been trying to ignore, all this time at camp.

He pretended to forget for two weeks before he ended up wide awake after lights out, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. He was running on several nights of staring up at the ceiling instead of sleeping, and yet, here he was. Awake. Pretending.

Phrixus pushed up an elbow and glanced down from his top bunk. Everyone was out. In the hall outside, he couldn’t hear the boots of the patrolling fire watch. They were supposed to report anyone out of bed, but even if they caught him only brown-nosing assholes ever snitched on fellow trainees.

Silently, he slipped down the ladder. He dug his omnitool out, climbed back up, and pulled up the covers to block some of the light.

He sent a message to Mira. And waited. And waited. The air filters in the barracks room clicked at rapid rhythm every few hours. It wasn’t too loud, just sort of softly angry and stuttery. Could wake you up though, and you wouldn’t realize it was the filters. You’d get spooked and feel like something was sitting on your chest. He sent another message.

And he waited and waited.

[phrixus] We need to talk.

[mira] oooo cap

[mira] s

[mira] pucntion

[mira] ooooooo

[mira] u dontwnt to tallk tome

[phrixus] Have you been drinking?

A very long pause. He turned his omnitool’s light off when he heard the passing of the fire watch.

[phrixus] Where are you?

[mira] purgatory

[phrixus] Mira.

[mira] stop

[mira] dont

[phrixus] Who’s with you?

[mira] y do u caer

[phrixus] I’m messaging Aela.

[mira] no

[mira] y not alk me

[mira] im drunk im nt stupid

[mira] im the one u shld tallk to

[mira] but u dont

[mira] u nnever

[phrixus] im sorry

[mira] yeah

[mira] metoo

[phrixus] you wanna vid talk?

[phrixus] mira?

[phrixus] mira

He waited a while. And waited. Tried her again. Then he tried Aela.

[phrixus] hey are you with mira

[aela] yeah

[aela] we’re leaving purgatory now

[aela] try her tomorrow or something

[phrixus] ok

[phrixus] how is she

[aela] look, i’m the last person you want to ask about this

[aela] i’m not gonna pull punches

[aela] and i don’t want to make it worse

[aela] just talk to her tomorrow

-

So he skipped lunch the next day and messaged her. Wedged into the corner between two auxiliary buildings, having snuck his omnitool into his waistband in the morning. The electromagnetic barrier of the fort’s biodome buzzing distantly overhead. As answer, she vid called him back.

He was in fatigues, unbuttoned to the waist. The dome protected from a great deal of heat, but it was still much hotter out of doors.

She stared at him, out of the QE data transmission, tinged in hologram blue. In her dorm, sitting on a bed not so different from the one he used now. The plain, nondescript walls not so different from the ones in the barracks, yet hers papered with photo screens and posters. The cushions at her back the same from her old room. Her face was a mess, like clan markings done with cheap paint in a downpour, and she wore a wrinkled and disheveled dress he’d never seen before. Her hair was pulled back carelessly.

“Hey,” she said, small and quiet.

“Hey,” he said.

He could hear the distant rhythm of a jogging company. Even farther out, the sharp cracks of the range.

“You okay?” he asked.

Her eyes shot down, her jaw working. She shook her head.

“I don’t– I need to say something,” she said. “I said some stuff I shouldn’t have the last time we messaged.”

“I did, too–”

“Wait. Just, wait. I’m sorry. You’re not that type of person I said you were. But I also said some things I should’ve a while ago. Things haven’t… they haven’t been the same… Phrixus.”

He waited, holding his mandibles rigid. He watched the slide of her eyes to some spot away from him, and the working of her throat.

“I’m sorry,” he managed. “Mira, I’m sorry. I’ve been terrible. You’re nothing like… and I haven’t been there for you, I know. But I’ve been– worried about you.”

She hesitated, nervous hands going to push away a stray curl that wasn’t there. “I’m glad. I mean. I know I haven’t been making great choices. But I mean… I just wanted… some fun and– and you know, I’ve been worried about you, too. I don’t have any idea how you’re feeling anymore.”

“Yeah,” he said, subvocals dipping. “I know.”

“And I’m sort of tired of just… waiting for some bit of your time. I feel like I’m just a distraction for you.”

“You’re not– you’re not. But… I’m sorry. I just need, well, space. I really just can’t spare the same amount of time…”

“I know.”

Then she looked up properly, at the rigidity in his face. Her eyes shone. She inhaled, the sound trembling, in her throat.

“Phrixus, I think– I think this just isn’t working anymore. Things aren’t the same.  And we both– I think we both need to focus on other things.”

The voice of some sergeant out in the yard spread out over the compound, echoing like a sergeant’s voice does, but wordless and unemotional and hard. An unintelligible dressing down of some group of teenagers.

“I…” he needed to reply, but his voice was skittering away from him. “I think… you’re probably right. I guess we should just– break up…”

She stared up at him. Her voice was so small and tight. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

-

He felt… relief for a while. Relief that the pressure and responsibility of the relationship was over. That he didn’t have to come back to his bunk with a backlog of messages to catch up on.

But then the guilt set in. Had they just given up? Should he have tried harder, done more. How could he have said the things he did. This wasn’t just anyone.  This was her. And she had needed him, and he hadn’t been there.

And then the pain set in. Like the story Lieutenant Gratarian had told them on simulation; there are times when soldiers get cleaved in two, and they’re dead, they just don’t realize it yet. But they keep talking, still trying to get help. But they’re dead, and they’ll feel it soon.

All the things he remembered, all the things they’d shared– it got into that deep and tender spot. Turned into this black blemish that never seemed to go away. He could forget about it. But sometimes something (some scent that reminded him, some shift in another’s form) would touch it, and light that tender spot on fire.

But what they’d said still remained.

Maybe it was for the best.

He could focus on training, and she could work things out, figure out the thing in her that was hurting.

Time passed. He didn’t try to make up or restart things, and neither did she.

And they moved on.

#mass effect andromeda #mass effect #fanfiction #sara ryder #turians #sara ryder/orignal turian character #original turian oc #my writing #:( #im sorry #im not sorry #maybe a little sorry #oh wait no #...maybe-- #nope nvm

[earcontact]

Who's Briorge???

Rekmid voice, to her child; Briorge Briorge you are named after the best man I ever met.Nah, really though, Rekmid is captain of the spaceship they are on (called Boat.PNG) and Briorge is her first mate. She recommended him for the position but it later turned out her was the least experienced person who was still qualified, which is okay, because Rekmid is like the least experienced person who is still qualified to be captain and they're both really good hearted, dedicated people who make it work.So that's the really short version, but I'll let Clio (who plays Rekmid) ramble on for awhile:Oh shit where to begin.Briorge is Rekmid's first mate and her best friend. When they first met they were two random employees for the ship, she was in charge of the care of the animals and he was the security dude she had to get past to get some answers to all the shit that'd been going down. Here's the thing with Briorge, he's Cuthbertian. Which I'm pretty sure is an actual religion in like actual DND and not just in our campaign but our campaign takes it to the next level, really. Cuthbertians are basically married to their work, they literally worship the god of like, bureaucracy, so they're really strict on how they handle themselves at work (in general really, but especially at work) and are sticklers with every detail.So Briorge gives Rekmid this long legalise talk about how they can't pass, but she's an employee so he'll put in a request for her. And while they're waiting, this dude who's like been looking and acting completely emotionless this whole time, who's obviously taking his job incredibly seriously, who like three seconds ago told his coworker that no, he cannot gossip, he's working, but like in the most dry and boring tone possible.But then while they're waiting, he asks Rekmid about how his animal friend is doing and is understandably upset when he learns that his animal buddy is dead, but he's still at work so hes gonna pull himself togetherThey get on through but Rekmid's already scrawled 'TO BE PROTECTED' over her mental evaluation of this random security.So much so that by the time she next runs into Briorge, despite the fact that at the time she's been wholeheartedly chasing down a Really Fucked Up Dude for a number of minutes, like doing absolutely everything she can to catch his attention short of lighting his ass on fire (she should have done that), like she's thrown things, she's been yelling this whole time, her gfs cast a number of spells but they just can't get this guy to let up or even acknowledge them for more than like a second.And since the dude just punched someone for no good reason, rekmid really fucking wants him to pay attention to them for a second so she can punch him right in the face.But it turns out that hey, this dude is the current leader of the ship, so he calls in Briorge to like, distract Rekmid and crew from following and fighting the asshole, and Rekmid does an instant mental 180 of 'I'm going to fucking get and fight this guy' to, when she sees Briorge, going 'FUCK NO ABORT WERE NOT FIGHTING HIM' and she slams to a halt No one else has such qualms over fighting or ignoring this random security boy, they've already ignored like two other security boys to get to this point, so the others take down the asshole while Rekmid's just like 'nope not fighting Briorge', but turns out Briorge ALSO hates this asshole, but hasn't been able to do anything because the asshole is his superior officer and his religion is like 'if u go against orders ur not going to The Equivalent To Heaven'But rekmid and co throw the asshole into jail and negotiate things with the new head of the ship who's significantly less of an asshole, and Briorge helps them out the whole time (typically by giving them the right paperwork and forms to fill out, fuck, bless his soul)Then shit goes down, people are dying and getting seriously because guess who: the fucking asshole broke out of jail and is continuing his lifelong habit of being an absolute ass and Rekmid's seeing this shit go down and like #1 thought in her head beyond 'FUCK' is 'fuck wheres Briorge, is he safe' (dont worry he is, he's in a different super magical fight and is somehow safer there where there's like 3 near level 20 magic users duking it out than he would have been in the fight against the one nonmagical asshole dude. super safe)They go fight and kill the asshole dude and heyyyyyyy turns out Rekmid could be captain, she says yes and when asked who first mate should be, suggest Briorge and goes into this long rambling thing where she tries her hardest her hardest to remain professional and its thing this about how she would trust him with her life hold on I'll just copy and paste itAnd never mind I can't copy and paste on mobileAnd Briorge becomes first mate! And since he has more experience working within this system than Rekmid does, she goes to him for help and with questions on a lot of things, they work together on figuring out what the asshole's fucking deal was, on what a different asshole's fucking deal was, on a bunch of shit.Briorge quickly becomes the person she thinks of first when she needs answers or when there's Too Much Chaos all at once and she needs a bit of stability because fuck, Briorge exists and Briorge can be counted on to be doing his job and doing it so goddamn wellLike, example time, Rekmid's wife/fiancee is Zey, tiny pan fairy bard who decided to throw a party and went through all the needed routes to do so and filled out so much fucking paperwork and spent days setting it up but Rekmid is Rekmid and once she dedicates herself to something she kinda let's things like sleep and rest and putting together the dots that 'your wife is throwing a huge party' even when she has the paperwork right in front of her and is the middle of signing to approve it.so yeah night of the party comes, Zey is fucking great at her profession of making people happy and the party is great, amazing, damn near riotous. Rekmid drags herself away from work because she's heard reports of two giant ghost dragons within the ship and is like 'fuck guess I gotta fight' and absolutely storms her way 2 where the party is and upon arriving sees her wife and two friends slaying space orc Elvis in a battle of the bands, two giant (illusionary) ghost dragons circling above and breathing out like confetti and glitter but she rolls a super low spot and thinks its like fire and poison and there's so many fucking people but she sees Briorge and immediately runs over to him like what's going on, why is no one being evacuated, why is no one attacking back against the ghost dragonsActually thats a lot more than what she saidWhat she really did was yell across the party "BRIORGE WHAT THE FUCK"But yeah, they've worked together a lot, in and out of work and Rekmid is like absolutely delighted every time she learns something new about him, no matter what it is.She helps him pick out a new animal friend thats descended from his original animal friend and he very seriously considers what he will name this adorable dire rat and eventually says "I have decided that I will name her Commander Cookie." And rekmid is straight up like "thank you, thank you so much for saying that in front of me, this is the best day of my life." And they spend like an hour or two just sitting and chilling while he pulls out his extensive collection of brushes dedicated to his dire rat friend and Rekmid spends the whole time internally going 'best day of my l i f e' and like has SU stars in her eyes.Okay works starting so I should probably cut it off here, but I Love Briorge, gods, he's amazing.