#like do you ever get tired of writing white ppl??

[ssparksflyy]

hello! can i request jason grace or leo valdez x child of hypnos reader ? (gn) 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ٩(ˊ〇ˋ*) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

pairing: jason grace x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): none!! js fluff :) a/n: i love children of hypnos, u stay sleepy ! also me writing this running off five hours of sleep ( the most ive gotten this week ) yikes..

mr gets up willingly at six am nd his sleepy lover ♡

there are times where u literally have to beg jason to go back to bed cause omfg what r u doing. its six am. no u r not going to go run. no the early bird doesnt get the worm. go. back. to. sleep.

hey nd most times it works cause the thought of holding u close and a sweet sweet dream is enough to get him back in bed

but other times noooo he goes running 🙄

what is bro running from? sleep???

omg but then literally knocks tf out by like nine

one of the times when you had a sleepover planned together

you were running a little late cause ur cabin's ac wasnt working nd everybody was tweaking out

so you had to stay behind and help fix it

by the time you finished and ran over to cabin one , jason was already passed out nd lightly snoring 😭

mind you it was like 9:15 pm

its ok tho u were tired asf too , who knew fixing the ac could be so hard ??

he apologized sm in the morning tho

but u were like its okay el oh el

he cant help it bro he needs his sleep almost as much as he needs you

its better that he falls asleep early than stay up super late tho

cause like when he was helping plan out the new cabins, it was impossible to convince him to go to sleep

he wouldnt stop working nd u were like 😠 fool 😠 go to sleep 😠

nd he was like no thank youuuuu ♡

so you used your powers on him cause he hadNT SLEPT IN DAYS

u were both mad at each other in the morning and things were painfully tense

but you sat down nd talked it out like mature ppl ♡

he srsly hates fighting, he already does it with monsters nd shit so much, he doesnt want to do it w you :(

he apologized for being ignorant and promised he would be better about taking care of himself instead of burying himself in work

you apologized for using your powers on him without saying anything first, and promised you wouldn't do it again ( unless its necessary ) :))

to this day, youve still kept your promises ♡

jason is SUCH a sucker for when you touch his hair

the most relaxing thing everrrrr

i will die on this hill ppl dont play w me

his hair would be soft asf bro

best believe he uses a good conditioner !!

he lets u play w his hair nd do wtv u want with it cause like ~relaxing~

so best believe you have a 0.5 of him with all his hair tied up and looking like a palm tree

0.5s of jason would literally be flawless asf but scary

cause ur like omg by bf is so cute- god DAMN somebody get this man contacts

he looks amazing but THEM EYES

terrifying. staring into ur soul.

theyre cute tho ♡♡

you OBVI have matching pjs

i cannot decide if jason would go to sleep w just pj pants nd no shirt or if would have light blue and white striped pants, a button up shirt, slippers, a cap with a little fuzzy ball at the end, nd a candlestick

jason grace is a SPECTRUM OKAY

but he buys u so many plushies ugh

you own so many jellycats im so jealous

he helps u name them nd their literally ur children like

u have matching build-a-bears !!!

the voice memos are messages u made for each other :(

his to u is a quick ramble about how much he loves u but gets cut off cause he only had 20 seconds ♡♡

nd u get matching outfits for them!!

urs is named 'sleepy' and his is named 'sparky' ♡

i feel like jason gets some real bad nightmares

like yea every demigod does but he gets his more frequently nd their more graphic bcs of what he's seen and gone through :(

most of the time they arent even messages from his dad, theyre just really bad flashbacks of horrible times in his life

but ever since you started spending ur nights together, theyve toned down so much

now he even gets dreams abt your future together sometimes :((

he really wants to tell you about those dreams cause they feel so real but hes scared that youll think its weird or get uncomfortable

little does he know you get those exact same dreams ♡

and on the same nights as he does...

CAUSE UR MEETING IN UR DREAMSSSSSSS

nd thats how ur dad shows his love to you !

zeus doesnt gaf. wtv we dont like him anyway

i mean sometimes hes like erm gtfo my cabin 🤨

but doesn't actually do anything

u literally dont care for anybody's thoughts tho cause you bagged a baddie as sleepy as you ♡

an two: ik i didnt talk abt sleepovers together but like ive got a jason fic called sleepover (thats also gn!) if u wanted to read that :DD but i hoped u enjoyed and have a good day/night!! GO STREAM THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

#percy jackson #pjo #heroes of olympus #pjo x reader #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo x reader #jason grace #jason grace x reader #percy jackson x reader #by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.

[slvt4elliew]

in a good way (1)

"i didn't know that i was capable of being happy right now...but you showed me how."

cw: angst, mentions of death/su!c!de, mentions of self-harm, marijuana usage, drinking, explicit language, slow burn (im so sorry), panic attack(??), dad joke near the end, idk what else

a/n: this isn't really my first time writing angst (not on here) buttttt im still nervy. idk how to feel. i spent a dumb amount of time on this and it still sucks!! this series is also gonna be long so i apologize. but its necessary i promise! i just feel like ppl don't write about ellie falling in love enough. all of it. i wanna see and write all that stupid lovey stuff, from the start. idk how to write so be nice (ori'llcry) also listen to this song i love it sm.

you shoot awake, beads of sweat forming on your forehead and your breath quick. in out in out in out in out. for the past month you've been plagued by nightmares, making you wake up hyperventilating nearly every night. earlier this month marked the one year since your best friend passed away.

lucy meyer, the only person who truly understood you, took her own life last year on november 3rd. there's no word in the entire dictionary to express the pain you constantly felt. you tried so hard to cope, therapy sessions after therapy sessions. nothing helped. nothing could replace the comfort of being with lucy, just knowing she existed used to bring you happiness. lonely wasn't even a good word to describe how you felt, it was so much more than that. you felt so empty without her.

you had been doing "good" before now. you made a few new friends, dina, jesse, abby, and you left your house more. but the sudden reminder of lucy's absence sent you tumbling down again. it had only been a year. how were you meant to live a whole lifetime without her? without your best friend? the dull ache you felt in your chest worsened every day without her.

your eyes stung with tears as you slowly caught your breath. you were sitting up in your, almost overwhelmingly so, cozy bed. your eyes blinked quickly and rapidly, your eyes darting across your pitch black room. you eventually shoved the suffocatingly thick duvet off your body and stood from your queen bed. you lumber over to your bathroom, flickering on the warm lights and squinting from the brightness. you slowly adjust to the nearly blinding light, rubbing your tired eyes.

what you see in the mirror looks like a whole different person. you frown, seeing the dark under eye bags and sunken face. your hair's all frizzy and messed up from the terrible sleep you were having, you flatten it with your hands. your weary eyes glance down at the picture frame that sat on the sink, picking it up to get a better look at the photo in the frame. the photo was one of you and lucy two years ago in june, it was a selfie of you both in a pool. her long and curly black hair was pulled up into a high bun on top of her head. her dark blue eyes store into yours as you examine the photo, making you let out a choked sob as a tear runs down your face.

lucy was always beautiful. she was the most beautiful person you had ever met, inside and out. she had fairly pale skin and soft features. some acne was on her chin and left, rosy cheek. she had fluffy, arched eyebrows with a slit in her left one. you remember the day she put it there. she claimed she wanted to "look more edgy" with a giggle as she lifted the razor to her eyebrow, exposing her slit wrists when her long sleeves accidentally slipped down a little.

you set the picture frame back down and wipe the tears that must've fallen from your face at some point. you didn't exactly remember when they did. you quickly piss and wash your hands before you shut off the light and walk back into your bedroom, flopping onto your warm bed. the time on your phone said 4:24 am in a bright white font. you laid on your back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. you didn't fall back asleep that night.

you were so glad you had no classes today, you rarely had fridays off but you just so happened to today. you were fucking lucky too, having something as drastic as your best friend dying happen and being a busy college student wasn't for the faint of heart. currently, your closest friend at the moment, dina, was dragging you to a party with her boyfriend jesse and one of their friends, ellie, who you've never met.

"damn...i'd hit. seriously though, you look hot." she winks at you after you exit your closet, dressed in a tiny jean skirt and see-through, hot pink, long sleeved shirt. since it was fairly see-through, you could see the pink bra you paired with it underneath.

if you were being honest, you didn't want to go to this stupid fucking party. you wanted to stay home, and maybe cry a little. most of all. you wanted lucy. you needed lucy.

while you fix up your hair for the party, dina's phone buzzes. the message was from jesse, telling her that he was there and ellie was gonna meet you guys there. as you stand, dina gives you a wink and playfully smacks your ass as you roll your eyes and walk out the doorway. walking up to jesse's black jeep ranger, you slide into the back seat and dina sits in the passenger seat, dina mumbling a small "hi, babe" with a giggle. jesse smiles at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he turns his attention to you.

"yn! you hoe! i missed you, where've you been!?" jesse practically yells at you, making you flinch slightly before chuckling. you really had missed jesse.

"y'know...i have a mysterious reputation to uphold. gotta go ghost every now and then." you jokingly huff out, looking down at your lap and flattening your jean mini skirt. the words them both chuckle out a small laugh, it was comforting to hear that noise again. but you knew dina knew. she always did.

already feeling nauseous, the car pulled over and parked on the street near the house. the cool night breeze burned your exposed legs, making you shiver slightly. people were spilling out of the front door and sitting on the lawn, most people smoking with a drink in their other hand. the base boosted music could be heard from outside the house, making your head hurt already. you felt sick, you needed a drink or something.

walking past loads of drunk young adults, all three of you make it into the house, finding it fairly crowded. jesse goes off to find a place to sit while you and dina make your way to the kitchen, finding it slightly less crowded. dina poured you both shots, which you downed immediately, cringing as the liquid burned your throat. you perk up when you notice a stack of red solo cups, quickly grabbing one and pouring whatever drinks there was out into your cup, making a brown drink that hurt to swallow.

dina leaves you to find and probably make out with jesse, leaving you alone to babysit your drink. bad idea. you never could drink responsibly, finding it impossible to stop once you've started. the warm feeling that grew in your lower stomach and how your mind melted into mush was unbeatable.

"hey, you were lucy meyer's friend right?" a voice rang from in front of you, urging you to look up at the stranger. it felt like you've been here for an hour, your heels aching from the constant standing. "were". your chin quivered at the reminder of your best friend's permanent absence. you look up at the stranger, blinking away the haze in your eyes.

"uh, yeah...w-why?" you mumble out with a chuckle, tripping over your words. while drunk, everything was funny, letting you feel something good for the first time in a while.

"oh, no reason, you just looked familiar. um...sorry about what happened n' stuff.." and suddenly nothing was funny anymore. it was too crowded, too many people. you found yourself overwhelmed and suddenly you felt like you couldn't breathe. constantly breathing in warm, used air, you thought you might choke.

you don't even reply before stumbling away, almost frantically trying to get to the back door. you elbow your way through the crowds of people, not bothering to apologize to the people who curse at you. you quickly slide open the glass door to try and get fresh air. you plop down on the top step of the back porch and attempt to catch your breath, completely unaware of the person who was sitting beside you, curiously eyeing you up and down.

your elbows rest on your knees, your face in your hands as you try not to cry. maybe you were overdramatic, but just hearing lucy's name made you tear up. still unaware of the girl next to you, you sniffle and huff into your hands. suddenly there was a soft tap on your shoulder, making you jump a little as you pull your face out of your hands, looking over to your left at the mystery person.

"hey, uh...you alright?" the girl asks, scratching the back of her neck. you want the world to swallow you, bury you in a hole to never be found again.

you take a moment to take in her appearance. she had auburn hair that stopped a little above her shoulders, the layers made it almost look like a mullet and it was styled in a half-up half-down bun. she had mossy green eyes, the kind you could easily get lost in. the way her right eyebrow was slightly raised made you notice the small scar through it. you immediately thought of lucy. you wonder how she got it. her face was covered in pretty freckles, clusters of them painting constellations across her face. she had a half-burnt blunt in her left hand, her elbow resting on her bent knee.

you stare at her with wide, teary eyes, mouth slightly agape and seemingly out of breath. you blink a few times before haphazardly wiping your eyes -- trying not to smudge your makeup -- and looking away, looking up at the night sky. "fine... sorry, have you been sitting there this whole time?" you ask, your eyes drifting over to her again.

"kinda, yeah.." she responds with a quiet chuckle, huffing a small laugh through her nose. her smile makes a warm feeling flutter in your stomach. even though you literally just met her, you felt sorta comfortable around her. she had some weirdly nice presence. "you look familiar, what's your name? i'm ellie."

ellie. what a pretty name for such a pretty girl... seriously, she was crazily handsome. wait. suddenly it clicked in your head. "ellie? as in ellie williams or...?" you asked hesitantly, snapping your head to look over at her. she was already looking at you, silently admiring the way the moon hit your face.

"yeah... how'd the fuck you know that?" she asks with a laugh, her eyes narrowing at you. she shifts on the step slightly, turning to face you a little more. your knees almost touch, both of you angled at each other. there's a small smirk playing on her lips, a playful glint in her jade eyes.

her smile makes you dumbly smile as you explain, "dina and jesse told me about you, they really wanted us to meet." you're not sure why you're smiling. there isn't really a reason to smile, especially not when you think about the whole reason you came out here in the first place.

"oh shit! are you y/n?" the blunt in her hand was completely forgotten about. she put it out on the spot next to her on the old wooden steps. she shifted to face you even more, her body nearly completely turned. you did the same. you nod at her, a small smile still on your lips.

you both talk. and talk. and talk. for what feels like hours. strangely enough, being around ellie made you forget about everything. all the shit that went down last year, this dumb fucking party. all of it. you felt sorta free. you didn't think about lucy, about what you two would be doing right now, if she was still here. no. none of that. you're in the present for once in your fucking life. you didn't even think about how cold it was outside, you didn't care.

ellie made you feel free. even though you only just met her. thinking about it too hard made you feel a little crazy. 'you only just met this girl, how do you already feel so good around her?' so you don't think about that either. a loud buzz buzz came from your handbag, pulling you away from the conversation you were having. you open your phone to a text from dina.

dee 🩷: wgere tf r u girl

you: outside

you: r u guys trying to leave?

dee 🩷: yss

dee 🩷: hrry my feeet hurt

you look back over to ellie, frowning. "i gotta go."

"aww, you didn't even get to hear the rest of my cool dad jokes."

"i knowww. this stinks."

"can i at least get your number... y'know, to show you all my cool dad jokes?"

you huff a laugh through your nose and wait for her to pull out her phone. you quickly put in your number as you hear your own phone buzz again. dina was so impatient. you save your contact name as "y/n :)"

"can't wait to hear 'em all!" you joke to her as you walk back into the house.

the drive home was fine. they blasted some pop music dina loved, she screamed along to the lyrics, still plastered. they quickly arrived at your house.

you walk up the carpeted stairs to your apartment room, keys jingling in your hand. as you open the door, you flicker the lights on and kick off your shoes. fuck high heels.

home. a lot of people say "home is where i'm happy." or whatever. but its kinda the opposite for you. home is where you allow yourself to feel, where you think. your mind's not mush anymore, you can think and feel again. and all you feel is hurt. that stupid ache is back. the dull feeling in your chest that just won't budge. at home you feel like you're slowly being sucked into a black hole.

you huff and toss your bag onto the table, phone in your other hand. you shuffle to your bedroom, turning off the main lights and on your bedroom lights. you strip from your uncomfortable clothes and into comfy clothes, sleep shorts and a big t-shirt. you flicker the lights back off and flop onto your big bed, letting the comforters consume you.

you sit there for a few minutes until your phone buzzes. it's a text from ellie. she texted you on your ride home so you already saved her contact.

you stupidly smile at your bright phone screen, shaking your head and turning it back off. you plug it in and set it on your bedside table. you lay back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. your hand reaches up and grabs the necklace you were wearing. it was lucy's. you rub the L shaped charm between your pointer and thumb, turning to lay on your side.

that night you dreamt of green eyes and short, auburn hair.

#the last of us #tlou2 #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #tlou #tlou ellie #tlou dina #slvt4elliew

[kindlespark]

this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

#/ #// #sam speaks #byeeee ive been trying to type this post for over an hour but i give up #slashes are there bc i dont want it to show up in the main tag it’s rly incoherent and also subjective #babel #babel spoilers

[stick-ball]

I WAS LOOKING FOR A JEREMY BPD/ANGER ISSUES POST I THOUGJT I HAD SEEN THIS MORNING PLEASE WRITE YOUR HEADCANNONS AGAIN I BEG OF YOU GIVE JEREMY KNOX THE LOVE HE DESERVES

Okay so this is long overdue, but might as well. I guess this is an observation of fandom Jeremy as much as the canon one, so don't come at me.

I dunno read Jeremy as having BPD bcs... bcs honestly have you ever met anyone who has Sunshine shining from their ass? Me neither. Though I have met ppl with severe personality issues who had a coping mechanism like that, of course they weren't young and talented sportsmen looked up to by many ppl and rooted for by many, so they had enough free space and privacy to go absolutely fucked up at other ppl when they were having bad brain hours.

Yes im including myself here.

The name of the game is If I Give Them No Reason to Leave Me They Won't.

Or If I Give Them No Things To Hate Me For They Won't Hurt me.

But spice it up with black and white thinking, paranoia and unhelathy behaviours jumping off the standard spectrum of bottling things out into like, going on a 4 hour run to cool off bcs you are undeserving bcs you are a bad captain bcs you're annoyed at the freshmen bcs they dont care about your shared goals enough and is thay really a them issue? Or is it actually a You issue? Are you blaming others for your own failures again? Look at yourself, you're fucking pathetic, and egoistic at that, you demand things from others but how do you show you care for what others need huh? You think you're a good captain? Keep telling yourself that, before you know it they will all turn against you. Because you're a failure, bcs you cant even make them care? Maybe you're just not a good enough player , or maybe they can see straight through you, see what you are udnerneath the happy exterior. Yo have just not good enough, not trying hard enough, and you want them to look up to.. to That???

Or maybe it is a them issue bcs fuck that, fuck the smiling, fuck the caring, you don't actually care, if they don't care, why would you? 🤔 you don't owe anyone anything you are so done with everyone and everything cant they LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE, HAVENT YOU DONE ENOUGH TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE SMALL THING GO RIGHT ONCE? YOU ARE SO FUCKKNG ANGRY so you have to do something you feel like smashing something, you could, your body is literally a machine, you could show them what you actually think about their Opinions, how pathetic and annoying they are and actually fuck that you have to leave you cant stand being in the same room as them for one second longer.

But the sunshine Jeremy 🌞 exterior slips on so even though you want to crash the doors closed you smile and wave and say something stupid and cheery you even have a fucking spring in your step.

Bcs you're a fucking liar a fucking impostor you can't help it at this point you are a clay figurine that's hollowed out inside.

You are so tired it's like there's a lump of cloth absolutely soaked weighting on your lungs

You actually feel like crying while you wave at alvarez from the stretch of the corridor, making goddamn plans to meet up for group studying maths later in the evening while your lungs constrict holding down a sob.

You hate them all for the next 3 hours.

And then on hour four while you're circling the campus heading back from your walk/jog/run/staring into the distance/jog again you tap into the very comfortable very familiar hating of yourself.

This is a light version of course but I bet Jeremy is that person that dissapears sometimes like at parties ect bcs they are doing some absolutely stupid shit like having sex with a complete stranger or getting drunk but they know enough about the emptiness and self hatred they will feel ten minutes after they succumb to thay behaviour that they learned to do it when the judgment of the ppl who know them won't touch this piece of him. Bcs it feels like a separate piece.

Like he is parcelled into different breeds of fucked up inside and they are all set on a loop in a music playing machine from a highway diner. One song ends another starts you can choose which one if you throw in a dime.

And also we gotta add in the sensory issues, he sees things, he hears them, sometimes he does a dodge while there's nothing coming bcs he thought it was. Some weeks it feels almost he lives from one training to the next bcs he doesn't remember a minute from what's in between. Good thing he taught himself this sunny persona bcs its an autopilot mode that gets him having to answer the least amount of questions when he doesn't fucking remember what happened from 8 am till late afternoon that day.

#jeremy knox hc #just my headcanons #jeremy knox #jeremy knox has bpd #bpd problems #with a douse of #anger issues #on the side #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #aftg headcanon #aftg hc #the sunshine court #tsc #usc trojans #tfc headcanon

[punkbxt]

dime the takes. por favor.

*gets real close to the vending machine* quiero pepsi

okay all seriousness tho imma try to do this in a way thats like idk semi respectful towards janeway but i also need yall to know i do NOT reallyf fuck with her. idk if ive explained why before but i guess here we go

unlike most people that enjoy star trek i didnt really get into it till 2018 and then the demmy hit n i had nothing but time to consume every star trek imaginable and thats how i found voyager. yeah sure make fun of me for not knowing what star trek is but i need YALL to know that it is white and usamerican culture to be raised on trek and I DONT CARE. the only reason i got into star trek is bc a white friend introduced me. all this to say i was introduced to janeways actress through oitnb red ilu so much red best evil white lady <3

anyways i know janeway gets hate for having been the only lady captain and i always preface anything i say about her with this so yall understand that this is not the reason i dislike her but in reality it doesnt help either

also its tiring as fuck to include my opposing argument but it has to be done bc ppl are like “what about- pkay but you didnt consider how- yeah but- actually youre wrong bc-“ like fuck man im doing my damndest i literally hate voicing my opinions bc yall INSIST people of color dont actually get it n its tiring

if youve followed me since i started voyagerposting you may have noticed ive only actually drawn janeway twice and its cuz as a person she rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons

janeway gets put in this impossible position of being the top of the hierarchy pyramid to a crew that doesnt think theyll ever make it home again. shes deemed a mother figure by a LOT of characters but im gonna talk abt her dynamics with b’elanna, and seven because if i were to talk about the dynamics between janeway and harry thatd have to be its own post

when i get into a show, i loooveeee knowing what was happening behind the scenes because i love it!! i love set design i love character design i love costume design i love seeing what the actors are like outside of the show and how they feel about these characters bc these things ARE important. (writers too pero i have beef) behind the scenes is the biggest influence to the final product bc its the reason the final product exists in the first place and behind the scenes so many things went wrong. and when actors are mistreated or dont get along with eachother it becomes pretty apparent. well at least if you analyze things the way i do

so heres my issue with janeway seven and b’elanna. b’elanna is typecast to be the ugly character. klingons gave always gotten the short end of the stick and the case with her isnt as harsh bc her actress is a mixed puerto rican (information that has actually only recently been revealed bc when i tried to find out what roxan’s ethnicity was in 2019 i literally could not find anything definitive except for shes latina) but she STILL gets a lot of shit

one of my favorite things about voyager before the introduction of seven was how b’elanna and janeway actually got to bond a lot over science and when seven took on the roll of pretty girl on the ship, b’elanna and janeway suffered a LOT for it. we have an interesting dynamic between a maquis engineer and a federation captain genuinely not getting along bc b’elanna doesnt see janeways as an authority figure. not until chakotay has something to say about it and also until b’elanna and janeway actually talk about shit n get over their differences. the issue is when ppl purposely skip the earlier seasons to get to seven and then a lot of important interpersonal character building is missed I SAY THIS BC PEOPLE OFTEN FORGET THAT VOYAGER HAS BEEN ASSIMILATED BY THE BORG BEFORE AND EVEN THE WRITERS LET IT SLIP THEUR MIND N ITS LIKE BRO U HAVE GOLD TO WRITE WITH N U JUST LET IT COLLECT IN THE CORNER

seven is a unique and interesting character when she is first introduced. seven looks like any other borg and is so COOL. and then immediately all the cool interesting things about the way seven looks is basically negated to a few shiny parts. and yes janeway is partly to blame

BUT! what is the easiest way to gain the trust of people who already have bad history with who you once were? assimilation of course! seven goes from being one of many to the outcasts outcast

but punkbxt! what does any of this have to do with why you dislike janeway as a character? if anything it sounds more like you dislike seven. as long as the character is white ill always hold a lil disdain for them in my heart <3

janeway symbolizes the best of starfleet. she is an accredited officer and an extremely capable scientist. she is a beautiful white woman in THE position of power something that was revolutionary for her time. the issues with white women being put in positions of power is they they have NEVER had the interests of black and brown people to heart. “yes they-“ SHUT UP and let me speak before you decide to comment on this goddamn post

feminism throughout the centuries has focused on white women and while a show is merely a fraction of the lived reality of its time the effects are still extremely clear. white feminism JUMPED at the character of janeway and celebrated her and rightfully so! the issues came about when women like b’elanna got attacked and pushed to the side. this directly affected janeway within fandom and she got and still is recognized for accomplishments SHE DID NOT DO. she got put on a pedestal and once that happens to a character they suddenly can do no wrong. except she does because shes a human and shes white and shes a character with writers behind her

b’elanna has never actually been a super popular character and the wave of love for her is actually pretty fucking recent and not to toot my own horn but i definitely was a big part of the b’elanna love resurgence. when i got into voyager and these dates ARE important, i used to scroll through her entire tag easily a couple times through a DAY. fans occasionally created art for her and yeah! she got fics but nowhere in comparison to her other peers. surrounding yourself with people who also love her and want to create for her does help with recognition of b’elanna but its super recent stuff. and to add onto that any white fan that has an opinion about her will always be biased because they just do not understand what it is like to exist as a latina woman of color

this is where me myself and i come into the story because wowowowowow star trek is so cool! star trek preaches on and on and on about diversity love acceptance hate oppression and all that good stuff so who wouldnt love it??? and then??? OMG THERES A LATINA CHARACTER IN ONE SERIES OMG OMG OMG. imagine my disappointment when i found out that she a main character barely was getting any love. it hurt. because even within a narrative of inclusion somehow characters of color just seem to always be pushed to the side. especially when a fandom has such a majority percentage of white people

watching her story was SO personal to me. i could see myself in her struggling with living in america. i lived my childhoods in puerto rico and in many different parts of usamerica, surrounded by family and people like me until that wasnt the case anymore. i spent my life living as a nomad with no place to call home for on average no less than a year and no more than three. i could understand b’elanna with her struggles of living in a klingon monastery and then being thrust into an unforgiving and unaccepting world where humans/white people are the most important. the internalized racism that i grew up with was horrendous and to this DAY i am still trying to learn and better myself and connect with my culture in any way i can. because in a black ans white world, where is the space for those of us that dont fall under either? we are ignored and erased and with b’elanna is has been the same

the rejection b’elanna had to her klingon side was something i could relate to incredibly. but it still isnt enough. because even though i could connect with her through her klingon-ness, her latinidad is simply a label. throughout the show you see her change and grow and assimilate to the federation standard and it HURT. the narrative that i was directly picking up from her story was yeah you can be a part of the club but only if you do it how we want you to do it. and dont you EVER even talk about being latino unless its to shit on your deadbeat of a father. and i did. i learned how to adapt at an extremely young age. ive been told its one of the things i do best (sad isnt it?)

and okay how do seven and janeway have anything to do with this? well they are the white women who we literally have to conform to and for. thats it period

seven as a character had an amazing opportunity to challenge gender and sexuality because of her story (one that would have been better suited had she been an indigenous woman which ive spoken on before but thats for another post too) and then the people in charge decided that she just HAD to be the sexywoman instead of leaning into just how much she was no longer human and how humanity itself doesnt actually have one right way to be

this narrative is given to us by janeway time and time and time again correcting seven and telling her that seven simply is not himan enough and still has to learn. (things autistic ppl can suuuuuper relate to which is a reason i could connect with seven at all). no matter how you want to look at it (whatever canon you want to decide isnt canon anymore for the sake of a fucking ship) janeway was directly written to be a mentor and mother figure to seven. janeway is there to help her learn when in reality she can never understand what its like to be an outcast within the federation and to take it a step further be part of a eace which is treated with hostility by humans. something b’elanna CAN understand and relate to because at the time of voyager shits still om the rocks between klingons and humans. janeway pushes seven to accept and embrace humanity as if thats the only option seven has to become a better character but its just not true. the story woven between janeway and seven is one of white women and femininity and how to be the perfect white woman and how to be a good lover. by actively ignoring the help and influence b’elanna could have provided for seven to learn and adapt to a majority human world they put all that weight on janeway. something that affects ALL three of them negatively and results in a narrative of “well b’elanna could never understand and relate to seven in a way that matters” which is beyond true because they are so interwoven even unintentionally so. it simply just wasnt taken further and its a true shame

and this isnt even touching on how badly seven’s actress was treated by janeways actress for being the pretty new doll at the time of filming and how that affected how i felt about janeway/seven as a ship (similarly how castle and beckett did not get along behind scenes i could no longer enjoy that show anymore)

i simplified this IMMENSELY and this shit is already long enough as it is so im sorry about that but yeah thats it. also sorry if things got repetitive ive been told i tend to do that when i write. these are my feelings and i am a real human behind this account so keep in mind how you react to this post. i have recieved countless hate anons most of which ive deleted throughout my short lived time as a fan of this franchise. i used to be MUCH more vocal about representation within star trek and people got mad so i left. but im back because the people that love b’elanna and that love that i have things to say about her matter so much fucking more than any angry person ever will

#to add a lil statistics to it b7 barely breaks 200 fics on ao3 and numbers like that classify them rarepair within a fandom as big as trek #AND I BARELY TOUCH ON THE SHIPPING ASPECT TOO LOL #b’elanna torres #seven of nine #captain janeway #star trek voyager

[breathplayed]

12 - do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 

I need tips! xD

YES i have severe adhd it's been real fun trying to function in a society

what i do (some tips are replicable maybe some r not lol):

write when i Want to.... ofc this urge doesnt always strike, sometimes u do have to go force urself through a block, but i will listen to a fic playlist or daydream about the fic and it will make me Want to write down what im thinking about. having that actual desire helps lol. bc then, even if my brain is having trouble focusing My Heart/Dick still want to write so im more likely to keep pushing instead of give up

borderline sensory deprivation honestly, i can't listen to music or watch tv or anything when i write or read or think, so i blast white noise in my headphones and get completely sucked into the doc lol

i make a separate desktop on macbook that is just two windows, the fic outline on the left and the doc or writing program on the right. that way if i go to open a tab to google something for the fic i dont see other windows/tabs of Fun Stuff i was doing before that might distract me lol

i use the Forest extension with all social media blacklisted so that when my attention wanders and i open a tab to go to twitter or whatever by muscle memory, the extension puts me back in my place with the big "Ur gonna kill ur tree if u proceed" screen and im like "UUUGGHHHH thats right im supposed to be writing FIINEEE ill go back"

know when and how to give up..... sometimes writing rly isnt working but it's still good to try, if the words arent coming out right i try to settle for like. ok well i'll open the outline and i'll read over that, or reread earlier part of fic, to see if it reinspires me. if its really not working (if ur too tired/frustrated that will show in the writing style ukno) ill at least add bullet points of what the next parts of the scene should be. maybe i dont feel like writing fancy pretty sentences right now, but i can come back tomorrow and see the quick idea i jotted down on what i was thinking of doing next and that gives me a good jumping-off point

it helps to have external accountability!!!! write with a friend holding each other to a certain time period of Working on it, or just open a sprint site that has a global sprint bc then u can see other ppl working and it feels like ur racing them. body doubling with adhd helps with this too, if u go to a cafe/library and see others working it keeps u focused (like im not gonna open youtube and start watching some stupid shit with others able to see over my shoulder, im gonna Open My Doc)

this last point is only applicable if u have a stimulants prescription for adhd (or buy it somewhere i guess lol) but i definitely am 20-1000x more productive when i take my meds. the hyperfocus is way easier to kick into. sometimes when i pop my silly lil pill i can write like 4-7k average in a 3 hour sitting

Best of luck... Never give up........ also helps i think to pay attention to what conditions work for u and replicate them, like where u write best!! last summer i got one of them fancy clicky raised key keyboards + a riser for my laptop and that made typing fun, ill probably return to it eventually i just have it packed away atm

#ask game #writing tag

[demonsfate]

am i the only becoming totally disillusioned and bored with social media, and really the internet in general? idk i just find myself getting angry whenever i go on any major social media website. it's just full with greed, the fact that the internet has become so... profitable compared to like 15 years ago or so. companies spam advertisements everywhere and then even the majority of people online don't really feel like they're doing anything out of passion anymore and all their projects are corporate - like in hopes of making it Internet Famous and getting rich. nothing feels genuine anymore.

tiktok and twitter encourages shorter attention spans that require zero critical thinking. which feels like so many people lack the ability of critical thinking, or even being able to think anything in any other shades than black and white (see all those infamous tiktoks where m/c/u fans make fun of those who prefer movies with more depth, and uh... actual good direction and color grading and writing and all that)

then as i've mentioned before - everyone online now just feels like they're encouraged to be at their nastiest. to be argumentative, to be rude to you no matter what you say. and then get in these pointless arguments where it goes nowhere 'cos either party is stubborn and refuses to see anything beyond their own view point. like i know ppl like this has always existed on the internet. but it seems even more commonplace before. and what's even more weirder is people are encouraged to put every bit of their information online. so people are being nasty all while you can see what they look like, their name, their location, etc. etc. it's so bizarre.

and i may be somebody who hyperfixates on franchises, maybe to a somewhat unhealthy degree. but people on social media just seems like they have a bad consumerism issue. there are people who act like Brand™️ is the greatest thing ever and if you even critique anything about it, then you're absolutely wrong and should be shamed.

like tumblr and a very niche / unpopular forum website are the only sites i go to now. even when i try to go back to twitter or something after weeks of not, i just find myself getting angry at it when i am on. angry at the people on it. like i guess the good thing about tumblr is that it doesn't force people you don't follow on to your dashboard. therefore, you can more easily pick the content and type of people you want to interact with.

i don't know. i'm just kinda tired.

#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc) #// i also just feel like i can't rly... connect with ppl anymore #// which i dunno if it's bc of the modern ages - #// as when i was a child on the internet - i had many friends my age #// but now i just have a harder time connecting with others #// i dunno if that's on them or on me #// i think maybe i should start focusing on my other hobbies more - #// like drawing and writing and gaming

[littlesugarwords]

Hello! I really love your writing and your twdg OS and hcs 🥺 i love to see ppl in the fandom even though the series are over. I don't know if you're taking requests, but could you write some hcs about Clementine losing her leg in a modern au (maybe bc of illness or an accident) and Violet helping her through her grief and walk again? I haven't see any aus with Clementine being an amputee and there's just a few Violentine fanfics around. I really love your work, thanks<33

thank you so much for this buddy wow :') this made my day. I'm so glad my writing can make you guys smile, even just a little 🥰

Clementine had been in a car accident a year ago.

A drunk driver had T-boned the car with her and her father in it.

He had been driving her home from a volleyball tournament.

It was a Saturday night. 8pm.

Then, they took a left turn,

Clem heard a honk,

The squealing of tires,

And her father screaming.

Then, she woke up with a leg missing,

And with a father in critical condition.

She had been maneuvering life with one leg ever since.

She had two options for getting around, a wheelchair, or a crutch-like cane.

She normally alternated between the two,

But seeing as she was starting her brand new school today?

She went with the crutch.

Each class she went into, she got stared at.

As always.

It had happened at every school, every class, and every year.

She hated it.

So, she sat down at the nearest desk, tucked it under her desk, and pulled out her books.

Clem was always prepared for these moments.

So, she pulled out her notebook,

Flipped to a messy page,

And continued to doodle.

The mumbling of chatter in the classroom resumed as it always did,

And Clem heard the desk beside her squeak.

She was too focused on trying to look busy to look up.

Then, an exhausted sigh,

And the slurping of liquid through a straw.

Then, Clementine looked up.

A blonde was sitting at the desk beside her,

Sipping on an iced coffee,

Fiddling with one of her rings.

She only had a single notebook and a busted-up pen.

Clem could tell she didn't care.

The blonde scoffed.

"Sorry my notebook isn't as cool as yours," she said sarcastically.

Clementine met her gaze and raised a brow.

The blonde had caught her staring,

And was staring at her drawings.

Clem slapped her book closed.

Violet smirked.

She liked teasing people,

Especially cute new girls.

"Violet. You?"

Clem's shoulder relaxed slightly. "Clementine."

Violet smirked again. "Unique."

"That's one way of looking at it." She said,

Smirking back.

Class wandered on as usual,

Silence passed between the two strangers.

By the time the bell rang, Clem stood up,

Wobbling for a beat with her crutch,

And carrying on.

Violet stared after her, not having noticed before.

Guilt crept in and she looked away,

Noting to never do it again.

The next day, it was the same.

This time, Violet had doodled an alien on her notebook's cover.

Clementine chuckled, teasingly rolling her eyes.

"Very cool."

"It's natural," Violet smirked,

Scribbling on the cover again with her pencil,

Shading in all the white letters.

"Your drawing seems to be pretty natural too." Violet continued.

Clem turned and raised a brow.

"You look like a pro."

Clem snorted. "Hardly. Just doodles."

"But good ones."

Clem smiled, thankful.

And that day at lunch, while having nowhere to sit,

Violet decided to plop down beside her.

At first, Clem had been reading.

Feeling the table shift, she glanced up and smiled.

Violet could swear she even saw a small twinkle in Clementine's eyes.

They started it doing regularity, every day at lunch.

Any class they had? Together.

Pep rallies? Assemblies? Ceremonies? Together.

They just clicked.

The first time they sat together at an assembly, they sat on the bleachers in the gym.

Clementine hated maneuvering them.

As they went to leave, Violet extended a hand.

Clementine paused,

Clutching her crutch,

Confused.

Violet's stare was neutral and sincere,

But her fingers began to twitch when she didn't take her hand.

So, Clementine did,

Smiling,

Approaching the help.

Clementine knew she would explain everything to Violet one day.

But she didn't know what day.

It happened to arrive a few weeks later,

On a rainy Friday.

School had just ended, and Clementine sat,

Near one of the school's wide entranceways,

Waiting for her mother to pick her up.

She cracked a book, knowing it would be a while,

And settled in.

After a moment or two, she felt a gentle slap on her arm.

"In a rush, huh?" Violet asked.

Clem smirked. "I could say the same to you."

Violet waved a hand. "I walk home. Plus, I had to stay after class."

Clem raised a brow, silently teasing her.

It was probably some time of reprimand for a late paper.

It often was.

"Why are you hanging out here? It's Friday," Violet questioned.

"I'm waiting for my Mom."

Violet raised a brow. "How long does your Mom usually take?"

"An hour. Sometimes a little more."

Violet's eyes widened.

Clementine, feeling the pressure, looked away.

She could feel Violet shift beside her.

She'd ditching her bag on the ground and sat beside her.

"Why?"

"That's when she gets off of work."

Clementine pretended to be reading her book as she spoke,

Hoping the subject would change.

She wasn't planning on explaining her life's intricacies right now.

But more questions followed.

It was just who Violet was: curious and stubborn.

"It's complicated," Clementine said, voice strained.

She immediately felt bad, but Violet understood.

"Sorry," Clem whispered.

She closed her book, abandoning her plan on continuing to fake it.

And suddenly, everything spilled out.

The entire story.

Then, Clementine gathered her things and went outside,

Ready to get into her ride,

All while Violet remained behind.

Stunned.

By the time Monday rolled around, Violet's heart was still aching.

But she acted like nothing changed.

It was the least she could do for them both.

But, somehow, Clementine opened up even more to her.

Violet didn't feel like she needed to keep her cool facade on anymore.

They felt honest with each other.

They felt true.

Real.

Violet always held Clementine's hand as they wandered up and down the stairs together.

Clem always found it sweet;

A gesture of care.

Violet would help keep her occupied or listen to her thoughts.

She even started her own doodle journal to share with Clementine during their downtime.

All Clementine could do was smile,

Sometimes, her eyes even teary.

Violet would always tease her about it, though.

She finally felt normal and cared for.

They finally felt found in each other.

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 💌☕️♡

#the walking dead game #the walking dead game headcanons #the walking dead game the final season #twdgs4 #twdg #the walking dead game season 4 #twdgtfs #twdg clementine #twdg clem #the walking dead game headcanon #twdg hc #twdg hcs #twdg violet #the walking dead game hc #the walking dead game hcs #twdg au #modern au #the walking dead game au #telltale #telltale the walking dead #telltale games #littlesugarwords headcanons #littlesugarwords #littlesugarwords writing #my writing #open writing requests #writing requests #writing #creative writing #writer

[beewitch4]

I think if I saw a story about being Black and female and how that effects your view of self love and the love you receive from others, I’d cry.

#and she'd better be fucking dark skinned i swear to god #im not saying these stories DONT exist obviously i just havent had any shown to me #and i didnt realize until just now that i wanted to seek out #also like #obviously being mixed does leave me personally with a wonderful identity crisis #but when a black girl is mixed in stories its basically never about that #its so that she can have light skin and loose hair #i need to read more diverse stories this is on me #but also these stories havent been advertised to me the way others are #cuz #yknow #racism #and im getting tired of it #like do you ever get tired of writing white ppl?? #god thats too many tags #dorian rambles

[cheesus-doodles]

Yandere toman rn are all prob pissed off knowing that more ppl are trying to get at the reader (the brothers and inui, koko) can't wait till Senju and Waka find Abt the reader and then there's this whole mess and then the reader is just Sandwich in-between these crazy people. Do you ever wonder if the reader breaks one day and has enough of everyone and wants to have alone time? How would all these yanderes feel Abt it? - brain rot🐢

too real right here 🐢 anon - somedays reality just hits me hard and i kinda wish to take a break from it all ya know. not in the best mental state right now, can't imagine being reader and dealing with all the shit they go through on a daily basis. but enough rambling, going to write a short standalone drabble for this, though recommend that yall read some of my other fics for relationship context (if you haven't) :)

‎

Recommended Readings: A Friend In Me Part 1 ; Leaving You ; High Heels

Masterlist

tw: yandere, afab reader

‎

Breaking Point

Yandere Platonic Toman Boys

You didn't feel like yourself anymore these days. Time flowed past you while you watched on, more so an observer just watching the world go by, trapped behind the glass of your eyes. Nothing seemed to light that spark in your chest anymore, the happiness that once shined from the depth of your eyes no longer there when you stared at yourself in the mirror, willing yourself to just feel something, anything besides emptiness and hopelessness.

It was hard to pinpoint when exactly the fun and color of your days, spent laughing and playing with your Toman friends, started to dull and lose its luster, or when your genuine smile became a fake strained one that you struggled to keep up. The same cityscape that once held so much life and vibrancy, that brought you hope and joy when you flung your front door open in the morning, only seemed more tiring and depressing the more you walked its streets.

Exhausted. Drained past your breaking point, your friends were all too busy between bathing in the attention and affection you showered freely on them, and fighting off and intimidating any of the other friends you tried to make when they thought you weren't looking, to notice your ever-growing weariness.

Maybe it was just the nature of being a delinquent, to be as possessive and overprotective as Mikey and the others were, or maybe it was your new found delinquent friends who were just so stubborn, unwilling to give in to the other's demands - but in the midst of the three way tug of war you had accidentally found yourself in, stuck between your Toman friends, Ran and Rindou, and Koko and Inupi, they seemed to have all but forgotten about you.

That you were just like them - an out-of-place kid looking for acceptance in a lonely and uncaring world.

You weren't home. You weren't home when Kazutora had swung round in the wee hours of the morning, like he always did every other day. The sinking feeling had already settled into the bottom of his gut when he padded into an unusually neat and silent room, your unused covers still neatly folded up, quickly turned into all-out panic when the boy had thrown back the covers to reveal a cold and empty bed. A small note resting on your pillow, where your head should be, addressed directly to him, lightly informing him that you were taking a break, and that you would be back soon.

The crooked smiley face at the end of the letter was a steep contrast to the horror that quickly washed over the boys upon receiving Kazutora's hysterical call, and even though they were barely able to make out what he stammered out between whimpers and tears, it was enough to have them leaping out of bed.

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Ran all but demanded, metal baton clutched tightly in one white-knuckled hand, the other trembling fist hidden behind his back. The sunlight rarely reached down this alley, yet the shadows that reigned here didn't hide the fury that burned in the eyes of the Toman President.

"You haven't seen her?" Mikey demanded again, aggressive tone betraying his emotions despite his face still wearing that normal blank look.

But all Rindou had to respond with was a curse muttered loudly under his breath, quickly plunging one gloved hand into his pocket and pulling out a small mobile phone. Even if the Haitani brothers almost always worked alone, there were enough in the underworld that owned them favours, strings that they were all but ready to pull - to get you back by their side.

Across town, the exact same scenario was repeated in Black Dragon territory, though Koko's face paling to an ashen white at the thought of you up and leaving him without even a goodbye would have been amusing in any other scenario. Stumbling to pull out his phone from his pristine white uniform, even the usually stoic Inupi could barely hold his composure in front of a raging Draken, as Koko barked out orders, mobilizing every available men in search of you.

Huddled up into yourself, skirt neatly folded underneath you, the fresh, cool wind that blew across the otherwise empty grass field was a refreshing change from the normal drone of the concrete jungle, one that took your troubles with it as it ruffled your hair. Turning back, the distant tall skyscrapers and glass towers of Tokyo City glittered in the afternoon sun, looking almost as if it was being consumed in the harsh light - no doubt the city was all but going down in flames with your friends scrambling to look for you. But for today, you thought, your gaze once more turned to look over the open ocean, the vibrant blue seas and distant horizon a siren's call to you, just for today, maybe you could be alone.

You could be yourself once more, and let the light and color seep back into your life.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #yandere tokyo revengers x reader #yandere tokyo revengers #yandere izana #yandere ran haitani #yandere rindo haitani #ran haitani #rindo haitani #ran haitani x reader #mikey x reader #baji keisuke x reader #rindo haitani x reader #sano manjiro #izana x reader #koko x reader #tokyo revengers baji #tokyo revengers mikey #tokyo revengers izana #tokyo revengers koko #cheesus answers

[flowersbby]

Drawn to You | Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

Warning:  Makeout, This is a lil long (I got carried away)

Word count: 3859

It was a typical night for you. You had your music playing faintly in the background while you were writing notes for your anatomy & physiology class when you felt your phone vibrate violently on your desk, which caused your French bulldog, Royal, to wake up from his snoring slumber on your lap. With an annoyed huff, you pick up your phone and notice your best friend Rae had texted you numerous times.

Rae 😴

Hey!

Among Us!

Now!

Need 10th person!

Pleaseeeeee

You stared at the messages for a minute. You were confused on why she asked you of all people. You were the opposite of the many streaming friends she had who were loud, funny, and all around GOOD at games. Your shy character would not fit well on her stream and you knew that. Plus, the only games you’ve played are Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing, which requires no communication with people and you preferred it that way.

You

Why me? I’m in the middle of writing notes.

Rae 😴

There’s this person I want you to meet!

He’s really nice and you’ll warm up to the group in no time, I promise!

I won’t let them be mean to you 😤😤

They’re nice ppl anyway so they wont be mean lol

You

Okay.. let me load up my discord

Rae 😴

Yayy!

I already bought among us for you last time I was over so you’re good to go!

‘What? When did she find the time to buy the game for me? We were literally together the whole time she was here.’ You thought, but quickly dismissed it and loaded up discord. Right as you got online, you got an invite from Rae. You quickly grabbed your headset and adjusted your mic before joining the call. You petted Royal in an attempt to calm your nerves as you saw 9 peoples profile pictures appear in front of you. You only recognized Rae’s, of course.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Rae exclaimed, “Guys, this is my best friend (Y/N)! Introduce yourselves!”

“Hi, I’m Toast!” Said the man with the toast icon. You smiled at his profile picture. You found it cute.

“I’m Jack!” Said an Irish voice. You know Jack. You used to watch his videos a lot.

“I’m Poki!” Said a girl with a really sweet voice, “Nice to meet you!” You were about to say hello back when someone else chimed in.

“Hello, I’m Felix!” You recognized that Swedish accent. He was the most well known YouTuber, of course.

“Nice to meet you!” Said a really soft voice, “I’m Sykkuno!” His voice reminded you of an anime boy. You smiled to yourself.

“Hi, I’m Lily!” Said a really cute and high pitched voice. 

“Hi everyon-” You went to introduce yourself properly until you got cut off.

“I’m Corpse.” Said a deep, attractive voice. Your eyes widened for a second, his voice catching you off guard.

“H-hello,” You attempt to say hello again but this time you’re a little shaken up by Corpse’s voice, but you get it together by petting Royal once again. “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you all!”

“Your voice is so adorable!” Says Lily. You smile at the fact that someone who’s voice is equally as adorable complimented yours.

“Thank you!” You respond, “Your voice is adorable too, Oh my God!” 

Lily giggles at your compliment. “Alright!” Exclaimed Rae, “Ready to play (N/N)?” You quickly realized you forgot to load up Among Us before hand. You were silently kicking yourself for not doing such a simple thing. Now they’re gonna have to wait longer to play because of you and they already waited long enough for you to join the discord call.

“Um..” You stall as you hurriedly click on the Among Us icon. “I’m so sorry. I forgot to load it up.. but it’s loading right now!” Your eyes are glued to the screen as if it’ll make the game boot up faster. 

“That’s okay.” Said Corpse in the most kind voice. “It won’t take that long.” You feel heat rushing to your cheeks just by hearing his voice. Who is this man and why is he making you feel like this?

They all agreed with Corpse and continued chatting about whatever they were chatting about before you joined the call. You were half listening as you were trying to figure out what to do as the game loaded up. Just as you were about to ask Rae, Corpse sent you the game code through a private message. You typed “Thank you!” as you quickly entered your name and then the game code.

“Woo! (Y/N)’s here!’ Said Rae happily. “Choose your color and your hat!” ‘Where do I do that?’ You thought to yourself but quickly found it. You wanted to be pink but it wouldn’t let you choose it.

“Why isn’t it letting me choose pink?” You asked. 

“It’s because Corpse is pink.” Explained Lily. “He took it from me too.” She said with a sad, but funny, tone.

“I can be a different color.” Corpse said and quickly changed his color from pink to white. 

“Oh, Thank you!” You said happily and picked a flower to match it.

“No problem.” He said and you could hear the smile in his voice. It made butterflies appear in your stomach.

“Are you kidding me?!” Said a laughing Lily. “I literally ARGUED with you about letting me have pink!”

“I sense something happening...” Cooed Rae in a sing songy voice. The whole group then erupted in “Ooooo’s”. This made you blush. You covered your face even though they couldn’t see you and Corpse chuckled, which only made you blush more.

Before the game started they all explained to you how to play so you wouldn’t be lost. This calmed your nerves a bit and when the game started you were happily going around the ship completing your tasks. Watering the plants was your favorite so far since you found it satisfying how the plants grew. You saw Corpse run up to you and you made your character step away a bit because you didn’t want to get killed. He instead ran circles around you and you decided to follow him for the rest of the game for safety. You both encountered Rae and Toast by the vending machines but didn’t think much of it and waited for Corpse to finish his task. Until Rae killed you and Toast killed Corpse. “A double kill?!” You shouted to yourself, causing Royal to wake up and slowly get off your lap. “I’m sorry buddy..” You said to him as he laid down in his dog bed. You turn your attention back to the screen as someone found you and Corpse’s dead bodies.

“Um, bodies found by the vending machines.” Said Felix who didn’t sound all too confident. “Jack where were you?” He asked.

“I was in..” As Jack was about to explain himself you heard a ‘pop’ emit from your headphones and saw a red dot by the messages icon. You clicked it and saw it was a message from Corpse. You completely stopped caring about the arguing going on through your headphones as Jack was trying to claim innocence.

“I like your flower :)” It read. You smiled big and immediately typed back.

Your fingers hovered over the keys thinking about what to type back but you settled on a simple “Thank you :D”.

After two games or so everyone got tired and decided to head out. You all said your goodbyes and watched as each person slowly began to leave the call. You didn’t want to leave until you were sure everybody was gone. Everybody left but Corpse. “Hey..” He said, sounding a little shy but it was probably just because he was tired.

“Hi!” You said a little too excited. You immediately wished you could reword what you said a little calmer.

“So, uh..” He began, “Could I possibly get your number? For Among Us games I mean?” He didn’t sound too sure of himself but him asking this made you beam with excitement.

“Of course.” You said calmer than before, “But I don’t know what help I’d be as I’m terrible at this game.” You giggled.

You typed in chat your number, your fingers shaking slightly. “Nah, I liked playing with you.” He said more confident, “You make it more fun. Even though I haven’t ever spoken to you before.” He chuckled. You smiled at his words. Butterflies formed in your stomach hearing him laugh.

You and Corpse chatted a bit more until he decided he should go, but you wished you guys could have kept talking the whole night. You felt this connection with him that you couldn’t put into words. It felt so easy for you to talk to him and you didn’t feel as nervous around him as the others you met today. There was something so calming about him that washed your fears away. You shook your head from the thoughts and told yourself that you just met him today, you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself but it was hard not to.

You were laying in your bed scrolling through twitter when you got a text.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

hey its corpse

is this (Y/N)?

Your heart skipped a beat. You were excited Corpse texted you so fast, hoping you two could continue talking.

You

That’s me!

I thought you were going to sleep?

Corpse🥺🖤

nah i hardly ever sleep i just left because i didnt want to keep you up

i really enjoyed playing with you

You

I enjoyed playing with you too

We should play together again soon

Corpse🥺🖤

definitely

You’ve begun to become really good friends with Corpse over the past week. You and him would facetime each other whenever you could. You always were on facetime with him, actually. Whenever you were studying, you guys were talking. Whenever he was editing, you guys were talking. When you were about to go to bed, you guys were talking. 

Right now, you guys were facetiming as you were studying for an upcoming exam and he was trying to stay awake. You liked having him around when you were studying even if it was through a phone. You didn’t feel pressured to talk or have to worry about an awkward silence with him. It was comfortable silence.

You started to worry that you were keeping him up, though. “You can go to bed if you want,” You said softly as you looked up from your textbook to the black screen propped up against a few books. “ I don’t want to keep you up. You need some rest.”

“No..” He muttered, “I like having you around..”

“I like having you around too Corpsie but we can talk when you wake up.” You told him a little sternly in an effort to convince him to go to bed.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked out of the blue.

You paused before answering and shifted your gaze to the black screen once again. “Yeah sure, go ahead.” 

“Do you want to maybe stay over here for a bit?” He asked, “Whenever you’re free, I mean. If you don’t want to I get that too I just feel so drawn to you I want you closer to me. Is that weird? I’m sorry if that’s weird. Actually, forget I said-”

“I’d love to come over.” You told him with a smile. “When would you want me to be there?”

“As soon as possible.” He said in his raspy, tired voice. Butterflies formed in your stomach and you felt your heart skip a beat. This man was something else.

“I can be over there in the morning..” You start, “I just have to pack and everything. Is it okay if I bring Royal? I don’t want to leave him with my sister.” You look over to Royal sleeping peacefully on your bed, snoring away.

“Hell yeah!” Corpse exclaimed, “I love animals! Bring him over.” You giggled at his excitement.

Corpse ended up falling asleep soon after and you ended the call. As you were getting ready for bed you began to think of what Corpse’s place would be like and what you guys would do. You were definitely going to show him Stardew Valley, that was for sure. You pondered the thought of you finally confessing to him that you wanted to be not just his friend, but girlfriend. You’ve been wanting to do it for awhile now but you get too scared and end up chickening out, so you figured if he liked you like you like him, he’d make the first move. You started to make up scenarios in your head about finally hanging out with Corpse in person as you drifted off to sleep, hearing Royal snoring peacefully in the background.

It was the next morning and as soon as you woke up you changed into your favorite outfit and began to pack. You didn’t know how long you were staying for but you decided to pack about 2 weeks worth of clothes just to be on the safe side. Royal was sitting on the floor watching you as you hurried from your closet to the suitcase on your bed. You were happily humming as you were excited about the day. You heard your phone buzz and you quickly grabbed it from your bed as you saw the name pop up on the screen.

Corpse🥺🖤

hey :) 

heres the address:

You

Thanks! and hello 😊

You two texted until you were ready to go. You were definitely NOT looking forward to driving two and a half hours from LA to San Diego but you were so excited to see Corpse that the dread of the long car ride washed away.

You put Royal into his harness and plopped him in the back seat. He looked at you confused since he rarely ever gets to go for rides in the car. “We’re going to see a friend!” You tell him while petting his head. He then laid down and began to close his eyes.

After what seemed like forever you were finally outside Corpse’s apartment. You grabbed Royal and attached his leash to his harness and then proceeded to grab your giant (and heavy) suitcase out of the trunk. You struggled getting the suitcase up the apartment building stairs but you managed. You felt a sense of relief that his apartment building had an elevator so you didn’t have to deal with more stairs. The ones at the entrance were enough. While you were waiting for the elevator to take you to his floor you took this opportunity to text him.

You

On my way up!

Almost immediately after you sent it he read it. He started typing but the three dots quickly disappeared. Before you could question it the elevator doors opened to his floor. “Come on, Bud!” You said to Royal and motioned for him to go ahead. Royal got up from his sitting stance and lead the way. After passing 2 other doors, you were at Corpse’s. You knocked two times.

You heard shuffling on the other side and the door knob turning shortly after. Before you knew it, Corpse was in front of you. His eyes were looking at yours. You immediately smiled. “Hi.” Corpse said with a slight smile as well.

“Hi..” You said shyly. You didn’t know how to react now that he was in front of you and not behind a screen. He stepped aside and motioned for you to come inside. You entered his apartment and set your suitcase by the couch. Royal was pawing at Corpse’s leg, begging for pets.

“Aww, hi buddy!” Corpse said excitedly. “He’s so well behaved.” Corpse was talking to you now.

“Yeah, it took work though.” You laughed slightly. ���Your place is really nice.” You said as you looked around. You noticed all of his mirrors were covered up, but you decided not to ask him about that. He probably had his reasons.

“Thank you.” Corpse said as he looked at you. “You look pretty.”

You blushed and turned your head away from him so he couldn’t see your pink cheeks. “Thank you.”

Corpse cleared his throat, “So uh, I don’t have a guest bedroom so I’ll take the couch for however long you want to stay.”

You quickly shot your head at him. “No no no I’m not letting you sleep on the couch in your own apartment.” You argued with him.

“Well, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.” Corpse stated.

“Then we’ll share your bed.” You said with a shrug and headed towards his room to set your suitcase down, Royal following closely behind you. You didn’t see anything wrong with it. You and Rae share one whenever you guys sleep over at each other’s house and you thought this was no different

“O-okay.” He responded and quickly followed after you, “So, this is my room.” he said as you and him both entered.

“I like it!” You exclaimed as you looked around. You liked how dark it was in there. You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. That smile.. You thought and quickly fumbled with your suitcase as you set it down by his closet. Corpse came closer to you.

“Can I give you a hug?” Corpse said a little shyly, as if I’d say no.

“Of course!” You said and wrapped your arms around his neck. He was taken aback but quickly put his hands around your waist. You caught a whiff of his mild cologne which made you want to stay in the hug a little longer. You didn’t want to be weird though and pulled away from the embrace.

“I’m really happy you’re here.” He said as he looked into your eyes. I could kiss him right now, oh my God. Your mind raced, but you managed to get out some words.

“I am, too.” You said.

It’s only been about a day since you’ve been over at Corpse’s. Sharing the bed seems to be no big deal as he barely seems to sleep. You so far liked being there with him.

Right now, you were on the phone with an overly excited Rae.

“You’re at his HOUSE?!” She yelled excitedly in your ear. Your face cringed a little bit from the yelling.

“Yeah,” You told her, “He has a really nice place.” You said as you scanned his living room.

“I knew you guys would hit it off!” Rae said, “I should be a matchmaker or something.” You blushed at her comment.

“Nothing’s happened yet.” You said quietly, not wanting Corpse to hear you.

“Girl, you’re at his house.” Rae said in a obvious tone. You rolled your eyes.

“This could just mean he likes having me over as a FRIEND.” You told her. You were hoping that wasn’t the case though and Corpse did have feelings for you. You smiled at the thought.

“You are so oblivious.” Rae said with a sigh, “Anyway, I gotta go workout. Love ya! Hope everything goes well!” She said the last part in her sing songy voice.

“Love you too!” You said back and ended the call. What do I do now? You thought. Corpse was streaming so you couldn’t hangout with him right now and your physics class isn’t till a few hours. You were hungry, though, and decided to cook some lunch for you and Corpse. It’ll be a nice surprise for him. You smiled at the thought.

You made your delicious Dorito taco salad that you love so much. You made a bowl for Corpse as well and took it to his room where he resided. He didn’t seem to be streaming anymore and was just scrolling through Twitter on his computer.

“I come with food!” You say as you place the bowl down in front of him. You seem to have startled him as he jumped slightly when you spoke. He examined the bowl suspiciously.

“What is this?” He says cautiously of your creation.

“It’s Dorito taco salad.” You explain, “It has crushed up Doritos, of course, shredded chicken, lettuce, olives, and sour cream in it.” He seemed to be skeptical of it, which was a given every time you made it for someone new, but people ended up loving it when they tasted it. You were confused as to how many people found it weird since your mom made it for you when you were a kid a ton, so you were used to the delicious lunch dish.

“Okay.” He said and took a bite of it. His eyes lit up. “Oh my god, this is so good!” He exclaimed and took another bite. You giggled with excitement that he loved it like you did.

You both ate together and laid down on the bed as you talked about random things that were going on in your lives. You guys were laughing at a joke Corpse said until Corpse got serious.

“I have to tell you something.” Corpse said and looked into your eyes.

“Okay,” You said confused, “Go ahead.”

He took a deep breath. “I like you.” He confessed, “Like, romantically. I have for awhile now actually and I don’t know what it is about you and I thought I was done with love but you make me feel so happy and different from anyone else I’ve talked to. You don’t have to feel the same way but I couldn’t keep my feelings in for any longer.”

You paused for a moment. Is this actually happening? Are you in a dream? “I like you too, Corpse.” You say softly. His eyes beam with excitement..

“Really?” He asks.

You laugh at his bewilderment. “Yes, really!”

He tackles you in a hug on the bed. You giggle from his excitement. He’s on top of you and he lifts his head up from your neck to look you in the eyes. You get a rush of emotions as you see the care and love in his eyes as he’s looking at you.

You blurt out what you were thinking in that exact moment. “Kiss me.”

He leans in and kisses you softly. One hand is holding him up on the bed as the other is cupping your cheek. You take one hand and tangle it in his hair. This causes him to deepen the kiss with you. The kiss turns rough. You’re both so in the moment you don’t want to come up for air but you guys manage to keep going by taking in air when your lips part for brief moments. The hand that was cupping your cheek is now next to your head, taking the responsibility of holding him up. The other hand is trailing up and down your thigh, squeezing your thigh tightly ever so often. You eventually break the heated kiss and look up at him. You were hoping he could see the love you had for him in your eyes.

“I liked that.” You say smiling.

He chuckled at your words. “I like it too.”

#corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband #corpse #fic #fanfic

[boydiisaster]

we love you, MC

reader: transmasc gender neutral, they/them pronouns

summary: based off of my post here with a little twist

tw/cw: depression, dysphoria, body image issues

authors note: i wanted to write something kinda for me, so here we are! tho this is mainly for ftm individuals, i tried keeping the pronouns gender neutral for other trans ppl :)

The brothers have noticed your lack of appearance in their every day lives. Where you once sat at the dinner table was now just an empty chair. No one ever saw you emerge from your room anymore. They were starting to worry.

Beelzebub, of course, brought you food every day, (or if he ate it on the way to your room, Satan brought you food.) Sometimes the food would be finished when they walked past your door the next day, empty plate left outside with little crumbs covering the porcelain, but sometimes there would be flies circling around the rotting remains of a human world cheeseburger, or some Devildom cuisine.

Lucifer sits in his study, chewing on the end of one of his fountain pens; a habit he'd like to break. He's supposed to be doing paperwork, like he does every other day, but his mind is stuck on you. It's been weeks since he last saw your face, and he's already starting to forget what you looked like. He knows you have e/c eyes, but what shape were they? You had h/c hair, but what was the texture of it again? There was a scar on your neck, he knows, and it stood out against your s/c skin. But what did your skin feel like?

Mammon paces around inside his room. His white hair is unkempt and his eyes wild. What was he going to do about his human?! You wouldn't even let him in your room anymore, and when he messaged you, you hardly ever replied! The poor demon was so worried about you, but he didn't know how to help. His love language was, go figure, gift giving, but what was he supposed to do when you wouldn't even let him inside for him to give you your gifts?

Leviathan clutches your gaming controller close to his chest and sighs. He's curled up in his bathtub bed, your favorite anime playing in the background as he sulks. The message he sent to you a few hours ago is left on read. He misses you so much. He misses everything about you. Hell, he even misses the way you would rub it in his face whenever you would beat him in a game! He just wishes he could hear your voice again. The way you'd laugh when he'd show you a meme on his phone, your smile after you and Levi completed a level in the game you two were trying to beat together, he just wishes you were okay again. Okay enough to come out of your room and talk to him.

Asmodeus tries filling the void of you with shopping, but that always reminds him of the times the two of you would go shopping together. He spots outfits he'd think you'd love. Lower-level demons pass him, wearing your aesthetic, and he can imagine your bright eyes as you quietly compliment them to Asmo. When Asmo returns home, he'll linger by your door just long enough to hear quiet sniffling from inside. He'll place a hand on your door and call to you, but you don't answer. The sniffling will fall silent. Asmo is loosing sleep worrying about you so much.

Satan will sit by your door and read you stories. He doesn't know if you're listening, but he tries his best to be as interactive with the characters as possible. He'll make hand gestures, do different voices for different characters, he'll even do his best to create the exact sounds that he reads from the book. Whenever he gets tired enough, he'll enclose your bookmark in the book and softly tell you that the two of you will pick up where you left off tomorrow. When he returns to his room, his cats will look for you behind him. One even meows when he can't find you.

"They're busy right now, Moss." Satan picks up the small grey kitten that you named.

Moss meows again.

"I know, Moss. I miss them, too."

Beelzebub will cuddle with the plushie you won him at the local carnival. It's big, one of the grand prizes, and oh so soft. You had noticed Beel looking at it longingly from afar when you proudly proclaimed that you, MC, would win your friend that plushie! It was a giant black chicken, with little devil horns and wings. Beel still doesn't know how you won it, most carnival games are rigged, especially demon carnival games. But as he was talking with Belphie, you came waddling up with that giant chicken wrapped in your arms. Beel couldn't even see your head behind its soft feathers. You looked so proud, so happy. Beel wishes he could see you like that again.

Belphegor sleeps a lot more than usual, which is pretty bad, considering he sleeps half of the day anyways. He's fallen behind on his schoolwork, but he doesn't care. You're more important than schoolwork. You're sad, and you're suffering inside your room alone, and Belphie doesn't know how to help. He wants to do something nice for you, to make up for... that... incident. He wonders if what he did has anything to do with you now, and all he feels is guilt.

Today, after school, Satan gathers everyone in the living room to discuss what to do about you.

"I'm sure we've all noticed the disappearance of MC," he says.

"MC's gone?! I thought they were in their room!" Mammon blinks.

Everyone collectively sighs.

"Anyways," Satan continues. "We need to do something about it."

"They haven't been eating the food I leave out for them recently," Beel hums. "Maybe we should do something with that? Like comfort food?"

"But what's MC's comfort food?" Levi asks.

The brothers all fall silent.

"Maybe we can just cook all of the human world dishes?" Mammon offers.

"There's far too many to do that," Lucifer scowls.

"What does MC always order when we eat out?" Asmo asks Beel. Out of all the brothers, he's the most likely to know.

Beel blinks, thinking. His fiery orange hair tickles Belphie's nose as he shifts under the rest of his brothers' uncomfortable gazes.

"They usually order...."

You sit in your dark room, staring up at the ceiling. A large hoodie clings to your shoulders, the rest of the fabric hanging loosely from your body. The past few weeks have been horrible for you. Unanswered texts from the brothers pile up on your phone. You try reading all of them, but there's just so many, all of them worrying. It makes you feel pitiful. You don't want to be the cause of their worries, but recently you just didn't have the motivation to do anything but lay in bed and cry.

You hated your body. The curves, the femininity, all of it made you sick. You'd pick at parts of your skin, wishing you could just cut it off with scissors, like paper. You hated walking past mirrors, because then you had to see yourself in them. You had even asked Lucifer if he could do away with the mirror in your bathroom because of it.

You wrap your blanket tighter around yourself as you wish for these dreadful feelings to go away. Why couldn't you just look like one of the brothers? Levi looked masculine without even trying- he has abs for days, and all he does is sit in his room and play video games! Why couldn't that be you? Beel ate all he could and never gained any weight. It made you so... so angry! So envious, so jealous of them!

The pact mark on the back of your right hand starts to glow a vibrant orange. It did that whenever you experienced one of the brothers' sins. Levi's seemed to be the only one glowing recently. That and Satan's.

More hot tears start to fall from your eyes. You loved the brothers, all of them! You shouldn't be mad at them for something that isn't their fault. However....

A text rings from your phone. The screen lights up, showing off your lockscreen picture of you and Mammon bothering Lucifer. Well, I guess that's the simple way to put it. The accurate way was this: your lockscreen was Lucifer grabbing Mammon by his foot and dragging him along as he ran after you. Your eyes were filled with terror, yet you were in the middle of laughing. Seeing it made you giggle for once in a long time.

You grab your phone, looking at the text from the groupchat of you and the brothers as you dry your tears.

MC! Stop by the kitchen tonight at 7, okay?!

Mammon.

A text bubble pops up, and soon there's an angry emote sent from Asmo.

Be more gentle with them, idiot!

MC, if you could can you please come to the kitchen at 7 tonight? Beel sends. If not, we can come up to you.

We got a big surprise for you! Levi sends a happy emote after that.

I hope you like it. Satan and I worked really hard on it, Belphie texts.

I worked on the decor. You could tell how proud Lucifer was by that just from his text.

I helped! Mammon sends a frowny face.

Yes, that was obvious whenever I had to redo everything you "helped" with.

Thank you, Mammon, you finally send. All the brothers stop breathing for a second. You were finally talking to them again! Well, Mammon, technically, but still!

See! MC appreciates me!

I'll come down. I don't want you going through any more trouble for me than you already have.

It's no trouble, MC. We love and care about you, Satan replies, and with that, you stop texting, savoring in what Satan just said until it's time for you to meet the brothers downstairs.

You tried taking a shower, but you got as far as washing your hair before your dysphoria kicked in with full force, and you had to go back to your baggy hoodie and sweatpants you stole from Belphie. You shuffle around your dark room, trying to remember if you needed anything. Did they tell you to bring something with you? Maybe you should bring along one of your plushies, just for comfort? You haven't left your room in weeks, this was a big step for you.

You quickly grab Sir Ronaldo, (a demon duck Mammon had bought you), and scurry downstairs as quickly as you can before you could back out of your promise. Your socks almost make you slip on the polished wooden floors, but you manage to balance yourself, clutching Sir Ronaldo tighter to your chest.

You look around, almost hesitantly, before crossing the threshold of the kitchen. The table is set up with elegant decorations, even more elegant than you remember. But silly little yellow party streamers hang from the ceilings and walls, and you smile to yourself, hiding it behind your hand.

Human world food covers the dining room table. The assortment of items are outrageous, ranging from fresh-baked apple pie all the way to those cute Little Debbie's Zebra cakes, which sit in golden colored baskets, along with other sweets, of course.

You look around for the brothers, but there's no sign of them. You decide to check out more of the foods that litter the table. You find that a lot of it are among your favorite comfort foods, and that makes you smile wider than you ever have before. They remembered your comfort foods? How- and why?

"Beel! Stop it- that's for MC!"

A commotion arises in the kitchen. Before you can investigate, Mammon, Asmo, and Levi are dragging a face-stuffed-full-of-food Beelzebub out.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so hungry," Beel looks at his feet.

Levi rolls his eyes, catching sight of you in the process. His face lights up with joy as he shouts your name. He rushes over to you, scooping you up into his arms.

"MC!"

"Levi-"

"I'm so happy so see you again!"

"L-Levi-"

"I missed you so much!"

"Levi, I can't breathe-"

"Oh."

Levi gently puts you back down, only for you to be picked up again by both Mammon and Asmo. Despite them being the shortest brothers, they still managed to be taller than you. Demon sizes were weird.

"MC!" the two of them cheer in unison.

"MC, I'm so glad you came!" Asmo smiles.

"Do you like my decorations, MC?" Mammon blushes. "I tried my best, honest!"

Things were starting to feel a bit overwhelming. You awkwardly smile before asking, in a small voice, to be put back down onto the floor. You were painfully aware of everything that was happening right now. Their breathing, Levi's shuffling, and a countless number of eyes all staring at you. Maybe you should have just stayed in your room...

No. This was good for you! You were finally around people again. Humans need social interaction. This is progress.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath as the brothers just gaze at you. They didn't mean to stare, but they were just so happy to see you again. They didn't overlook your red eyes and sleepless bags, though.

"You brought the duck I bought you," Mammon whispers. Opening your eyes, you glance at the plushie in your arms.

"Yeah," you nod. "He brings me comfort. I wouldn't be here without him."

"Thank you, duck," Beel smiles warmly.

Beelzebub's smile is the type to brighten any room. It's almost like a spell. All of his smiles were so full of childlike joy. Even the small grins he gives his brothers time to time remind them of the sun.

"Everything is ready. Is MC here yet?"

Everyone looks toward the kitchen. Satan's head peeks out from in between the large doors. His hair is a mess, apron coated in flour and sauce. When his eyes meet yours, a smile spreads across his lips. You give him a small one in return, along with a wave.

"It's good to see you again, MC," Satan says.

"You too, Satan," you reply.

The blond returns to the kitchen for a moment before reopening the large mahogany doors, showing Lucifer and Belphegor arguing between themselves.

Probably about something petty, you think to yourself.

Lucifer meets your tired eyes. He abruptly stops speaking, causing Belphie too, as well. He follows the eldest brother's gaze before his jaw drops.

"MC? You actually came?"

Oh boy. Here we go again. You're forced to deal with more hugs from Belphie and Satan. Beel is the only one to actually ask for one, while Lucifer just looks at you and smiles.

"Are you surprised?!" Mammon grins.

"We tried cooking as many human world recipes as we could," Satan tells you.

"I even express ordered some snacks from the human realm for you!" Levi smiles.

"We all helped out a little bit, some more than others," Lucifer shoots an ice cold glare at Mammon, who hides behind you.

"We tried making some of your comfort foods, as well," Beel adds.

You fidget. No one has ever been this nice to you before. It takes all your strength not to burst into tears right here and now, however you do sniffle a bit. All the brother's eyes widen.

"MC, don't cry!"

"Do you not like the food?"

"Do you need a hug, MC...?"

"Honey, it's okay!"

With Asmo calling you honey, the dam finally breaks. Tears begin to stream down your face. A hiccup passes through your lips as you sob. "I'm so sorry!" you cry. "I'm sorry I've been so distant, I'm sorry I was so angry at you all, I'm so sorry!"

Mammon is the first to pull you into a hug, followed by Asmo, then the rest of the brothers join in until it's just one big group hug. You sob harder into Mammon's shirt as someone rubs your back. You feel so guilty, so overwhelmed with emotions. You felt so angry, yet so sad. So sad, yet so happy. So happy, yet so... awful. You felt awful, terrible, like the shittiest person in all of the three realms. You let a jumble of incoherent words fall from your mouth.

"What was that, MC?" Asmo whispers.

"I was so jealous of you guys! I hated you and how you looked! You all look so masculine, and I don't! So I locked myself away, and made you all worry, and while I was busy being selfish you all never thought about anything else but me! You cooked me my favorite foods and coaxed me out of my room because you cared about me, and I... I-I..."

The words stop flowing. All you can do is cry. Mammon cups your face as you hiccup once more.

"MC, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Us."

Mammon rolls his eyes. "Us," he corrects. "If you were struggling, you could have just said so."

"Especially with body issues," Levi pipes up.

"It's not just that," you sniff. "I'm... I'm...." Your heart pounds. You feel all their eyes on you. What if they don't accept you? What if they hate you because of this? What if-

"I'm trans!"

Silence. No one speaks for a few seconds. Levi is the first one to talk.

"Do you need a binder? I can order you one."

Asmo pulls you from Mammon and grabs your hands. "We can go shopping for masculine clothes for you?"

Mammon pulls you back to him. "I can buy you a pride flag as a gift?"

"Do you want to be put on testosterone?" Satan asks.

"Top and bottom surgery are also options," Lucifer adds.

"We can bake you a pride cake?" Belphie and Beel offer at the same time, and more tears pour from your eyes.

"I need time to think," you mumble, wiping away tears, only for more to take their place. "Oh, you guys!"

You tackle Lucifer, (much to Mammon's dismay), burying your face in his chest and simply crying. Lucifer hugs you and rubs gentle circles into your back.

"We love you, MC," he whispers. "Whatever will make you happy, we'll do. We just want you to be at your best."

You felt at home in the Devildom, right here with the 7 demon brothers. You never wanted to leave.

#obey me! #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!reader #beezlebub x mc #lucifer x mc #leviathan x mc #belphie x mc #asmo x mc #mammon x mc #satan x mc #i know in the actual convo in obey me nothing serious is wrong #but i just needed some comfort from my favorite boys rn #trans reader #obey me x trans reader #obey me x male reader #male reader #bee's beehive #worker!bee

[sothischickshe]

1, 4, 7, 8, 13, 18, 24, 26😻😻

haha, i feel like i mightve answered some of these in the long ago, but yknow what i LOVE repeating myself repeating myself, LET'S GO <3

1. Is there anything that upsets you about reading fanfiction?

well, not having much time to read fic when im writing upsets me haha (i think im gonna have to start withholding fic for carrots again o no).

mm, there are handlings of/(particularly violent) topics which tend to upset me in stories generally, and ff isn't different?

& certain things can upset (or maybe annoy more?) me cos of prevalence -- for example, beth thinking she’s not attractive/rio wouldnt be attracted to her is pretty commonplace in gg fics. in and of itself a fic which includes that isnt necessarily going to weary me, but ive come across it a lot, often twined with fatphobia and/or ageism so my tolerance is pretty low? see also: beth is violently narratively punished post s2 finale; rhea is a horrible bitch and/or the obstacle which must be overcome to get the brio hea; dean is physically abusive; annie is stupid and annoying; beth learns to become a perfect parent from rio; rio speaks in a special dialogue of his own which is mostly composed of apostrophes; annie/terrible man; canon beth and rio are really good at communicating all of a sudden for no particular reason; amber/dean

4. Have you ever assumed you wouldn’t like a fic and then read it and been very right?

so yes, but more like started reading it and found i was right and stopped. and actually what’s interesting, is that sometimes ive tried the fic again later & liked it! so i think sometimes it’s not so much that i definitively wouldnt like it so much as wouldnt like it AT THAT TIME. (for example, i find lack of punctuation v difficult to parse in a story if im tired, but if im more awake, it doesnt bother me so much)

7. Is there a trope you cannot understand why anyone would like?

nah, i have v few hard lines in the sand really, it’s all abt the execution!

like i personally find daddy kink espec for canon brio pretty unappealing, but ive read some fics where it was tied to a weird parenting kink where i thought it worked well! i’d totes be up for reading fic abt one or both of (particularly canon) them being surprised theyre into it??? and also obvi daddy beth.

 also, im told there are ppl other than me in the world with their own tastes, lol.

8. Do you assume you can tell the age of the author (and/or other biographical details) when you’re reading a fic?

yeah, there’s a hopefulness which i tend to associate with youth, lol. but also, one can generally tell when they’re watching/reading something made by a man/white/straight/able-bodied/gentile/cis/thin etc person, right -- i can’t see why ff would be any different?

i’ll notice fluency with a topic i think, but idk that i’d necessarily assume concretely abt that? like if someone writes children or hospitals or driving well im not automatically convinced they’re a parent or medical professional or perennial car thief, but i probs wouldnt be surprised to discover this?

& i can generally tell whether someone’s a native english speaker (you get different types of errors), and i think particularly bc as im not american trying to write americans im quite aware of it, i can tell american authors from brits etc etc etc

13. What is your fave fandom to read fic of, and WHY?

gg! i found gg/fic at a time when i really needed to and it’s a source of cheer

18. Do you remember the first fic you read?

no! im not even sure what fandom it was for??? brain’s going in my old age

24. Do you eat while reading, and if so has this ever led to any mishaps?

forks + flailing is a poor combo!!! salad everywhere!!! but i love eating!!! what you gonna do??!

26. Have you ever had a dream about a fic you read? WHAT HAPPENED??

idk, i rarely remember my dreams :( i do think i write in my sleep sometimes tho!

fanfiction reader asks

#fanfiction #ty <3 i love rambling haha #but no one ask any of these! i just reblogged another ask meme o no chaos #just reblog the meme so i can ask youuuuu #pls dont let me talk me into writing a smutless d@ddy k1nk fic or one where rhea IS an evil bitch constantly outsmarting dumb n dumber cos t #hey are morons o no..... #food

[althephie]

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

to 100-0

like so sad

do i feel bad for doing this to yall yes. but i am curel to myself too! so have fun!

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

- akaashi took advantage of his childhood friend y/n knowingly, and ghosted her for someone else.

I got my driver's license last week

her e/c looked out of the front of her car watching herself drive past down her street.

Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me

the female could feel her eyes watering as her tears stream down her face wetting it. reminding her of the day that she found the love of her life with someon else. oh how much she cried that day.

she wanted to punch his stupid perfect face

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything

akaashi was just perfect.

that it was too good to be true

To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around

y/n was so heartbroken when she saw him at their favorite cafe with someone else. he had ghosted her for the past 2 weeks and barely contacted her. they were dating still and it hurt her.

on a very cold winter day, she decided to go get some coffee. instead of happy memories rushing in the heartache did.

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me

she was a pretty blonde foreign girl, who was tall and had beautiful green eyes. she was definitely older than y/n and akaashi. she was mature. she had a perfect body.

she was perfect.

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything.

the blonde was also just perfect.

She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

the h/c was driving mindlessly as despair surged into her body as if it was her only life support. the only thing that kept her alive was her own depression.

ironic isn't it?

the thing that killed many, made her stay alive.

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

another round of tears flooded her eyes as a sinking feeling in her chest bloomed. she remebered confronting him alone.

he kept a straight face.

his once warm eyes were now cold.

he looked at her with such disgust and annoyance.

it broke y/n...it made her feel so insecure.

so useless

so stupid

all the dark-haired male had to say was....

" bye."

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Lifeless e/c eyes looked and examined the house that he lived in remebering all the times they had in his front yard.

the small cheesy picnics

the snowball fights with their friends

the stargazing

the pictures they took of each other.

the warm feeling of the sun touching their skin while their hearts skipped a beat each time they touched or made eye contact.

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them

her friends

their friends

they did not know about his girlfriend, until they all reunited during spring break of her 2nd year of college. instead of seeing y/n and akaashi being lovey dovey. they saw akaashi and some girl.

who even was she?

y/n’s once lively self was dull and stoic. usually she would jump into bokutos arms and fangirl over how cute hinata was still, but instead they all received a fake smile. it broke their hearts and angered many.

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you

bokuto, the one who introduced you two as children was offended. she was his cousin. he asked akaashi for his reasons without anyone knowing. akaashi just looked away and shrug.

And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

“ i didn’t feel the spark anymore, but when i met Kila. she became the sun in my eyes. she is so bright and gorgeous. she is just...amazing….”

“ y/n was just the moon during a winter sky. cute but dull and boring. she could be bright, but did not stand out, i guess ”

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

in that moment, akaashi’s grey-blue eyes widened when he saw a fist coming straight to his face. Akaashi fell to the floor and looked up at his senpai in shock.

he had never seen bokuto look that scary before. instead of going into emo mode, he went into pissed off mode. His eyes piercing into the younger males soul

the nerve

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

“ WE ARE ALL CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!! SHE LOVED YOU!! AKAASHI” the white-haired male shouted with tears running down, “ YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BROTHER!! YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER HURT HER!! YOU ASSHOLE!”

“ Y/N IS NOT DULL!! SHE IS NOT JUST CUTE! SHE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS WAY BETTER THAN THAT STUPID BLONDE YOU HAVE NOW!! “

unknowest to them, y/n was sitting against the wall of the building the two had met up and cried silently.

“ YOU-Yo...You promised me...you promised.”

bokuto weeps falling onto his knees infront of his bestfriend.

he promised to take care of her and love her

to never hurt her

and he failed

“ i guess her light is to bright that it...*choke* it blinded you akaashi....it blinded you from seeing her beauty.”

Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

this y/n shook her head and woke up from her daydreaming. she did not know that she stopped the car in front of his house for a minuts. the s/c female sighed shakingly and pushed on the pedal to continue on going.

she needed to move on...but she knew she would never.

Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

she continued on driving more hearing his laugh ringing in her ears as memories kept on flushing through. she hoped he was happy

she hoped it was worth it for him

losing all his friends

losing his bestfriend

losing her

Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

present y/n looked up with a microphone in hand as she watched the audience infront of her sing the lyrics.

they all looked at her with eyes of support

the same ones her friends and family gave her as she tried to move one

y/n broke down smiling and blowing kisses at her fans as she sang her song

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

she was letting it out

she finally moved one

she wanted everyone to know that she was inlove once to and that no one is alone.

she felt free and happy

and...she got her drivers license. yeah, she was 20 years old, and should have gotten it earlier, but she had him...she had him to take her away from here.

now she has herself and her license

one that they planned to get it together after akaashi said that she needed one even if she sucked at driving. it made the two laugh.

now that was just a memory

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone

she sung softly

not noticing a pair of grey-blue eyes staring up at her with awe. the girl he called “ dull and boring” was far from that, he was blind.

her brightest was so bright that it made him blind.

“ whoever broke y/n like that it stupid”

“ right? when she said that her ex ghosted her and left her for someone else it was so sad! they were childhood friends too!”

“ his lost.”

“ it was your lost akaashi.” he muttered to himsef watching the female laugh and cry at the song, she wrote about their love story.

'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

she finally felt free after writing this song, but her love for the boy was still there. first love is hard fo forget of course. it’s the one that hurts the most.

she was not perfect

he was not either

it took him to realize how much he needed her

when he let her go

akaashi was wrong

she was bright

she was not dull

he was just blind to it all...

blinded by her beauty

blinded by her personality

and her glow

that it made him ignorant to it all.

maybe his beautiful y/n was too bright for him

too bright for him to handle.

as i said sorry but not sorry T-T

i am also crying tbh. if yall are.

bc idk why i hate it when ppl cheat but i keep reading angsty fanfics about it bc they are so good. don't cheat ppl it hurts

i will be uploading more on my masterlist soon! so watch out!

#akaashi x reader #akaashi angst #akaashi keiji #reader #reader insert #akaashi oneshot #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #bokuto #hinata #haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #x reader #one shots #angst #haikyuu angst #fanfic

[hamliet]

Tw /U are a really kind person I would not feel compassion towards a kid who m*rders another being the way you do... how do you do it? The country where I come from we are sick and tired of minors becuase they belive they are untouchable and they keep doing heinous stuff without showing any type of remorse...

Tw/ could it be that you think the way u do about this topics because of where you come from?

Ah, such an interesting question! And ugh, I'm sorry. First of all, I don't think you're "wrong" or unkind for feeling angry at ppl, kids or not, for doing heinous things with no remorse. You are being kind--to the victims. Being young is not an excuse.

But anyways, as for your specific question about where I come from. Honestly, my first instinct is to say no, that isn't why, because I was raised in a very legalistic "you're going to hell if you do X" and "everyone deserves to burn forever and ever in hell" extreme fundamentalist environment, But, I also wonder if that did play a role... because I don't think that's a good environment for a kid to grow up in, so there is an aspect to which it could be a knee-jerk reaction to that. And of course we can't entirely know the degree to which of cultural/other backgrounds can influence us. And absolutely my experiences have shaped this perspective for me, and those aren't necessarily experiences I think everyone should have either.

I do think kids can be... assholes, frankly, and display stunning callousness. I'm by no means against consequences. See, one anti on twitter just today got the FBI on their doorstep after they legit claimed being a "neurodivergent poc minor" meant they were entitled to send death threats and bomb threats to someone. Like, not to be crude, but classic example of f*ck around and find out, and it's about time one of these immature antis learned a lesson about just how fiction and reality really intertwine, and learned that being young and/or mentally ill or discriminated against doesn't entitle you to hurt others or give you a free pass on consequences. However, I don't think kids, even ones who do heinous stuff, inherently can't change. I think consequences are, well, good ways to show kids how not only the world works, but how empathy works and how their actions affect others. The kids I knew who tried to murder others had to be expelled from our school, and I supported that decision because we had to protect the victims. But, I didn't think those kids were past the point of no return. Kids are by nature vulnerable and open to change for the better. I have seen kids change from some really bad stuff; I really have. Neuroscience supports this as well (that kids can change and develop empathy; the frontal lobes which are responsible for empathy and risk assessment are deeply underdeveloped in kids). So that gives me hope. As for "kids these days" showing no remorse, I do think there are generational trends that annoy the generations before them, and much of this annoyance is valid. Many, even most, do get wiser as they get older, and it's ridiculous that kids dismiss that. But also, I think people overcorrect to atone for the mistakes of their own childhood a lot of the time, and that creates its own problems that influence this. Writing new generations off is a story as old as the sun and I also think there's value to the saying that the generation after you seems utterly [insert here], look at who raised them... so there are things we can look at too. At least for me.

Imo, again, it comes down to nuance and empathy :P Empathy for kids is important; if we feel no empathy for them and the naturally childlike way their brains operate, how can we expect a brain literally programmed to think black/white to respect us? To empathize with people they don't understand, if we can't do that ourselves? (Not that it's possible for everyone to empathize with everyone ever--it's not.) And it's okay if that's not for you, honestly. It is. Have empathy for yourself too!

Anyways, I think specific heinous instances merit consequences, but consequences should hopefully instruct in most cases. And there is nuance based on situations, because context does matter.

Sorry, this is a bit all over the place of an answer!

#ask hamliet

[jackals-ships]

okay im gonna put my thots tm under the cut, it's not gonna be discussing like anything explicitly upsetting it's just me bitchin 2 get the thoughts out of my brain hfjdks

okay BASICALLY rubs my entire face i love y'all (general y'all/you will be used here it's no one here dw) but if y'all don't take five seconds to think about the existence of nuance im gonna actually lose my entire mind and that's not The Main Reason i refuse to interact properly w either community but it's a good chunk of it (casual suicide baiting and doxxing ESPECIALLY on TikTok is also a large reason)

like. imo there's certain subjects i REALLY don't think need to be written about and if you're going to then. im just some random fucker on the internet and im also one very very tired motherfucker. i don't have the energy to argue or change your mind on anything, im just trying to keep from diving off the deep end so if you're gonna be writing them you can at the very least tag the ever loving hell out of it so i/we can block the tags/block you/etc

but on the other hand sometimes things are just. supposed to make you uncomfortable. and sometimes it's kinda cathartic like god knows i project HEAVILY onto Zander n the Barghest and ofc it's through a sci fi lens but it's still cathartic for me in the long run? n arcane jackal n dog get all of my horrible impulses bc it's an outlet for the more frightening thoughts n sure i don't share a lot of them but when i do i make sure i warn the ppl i share them with first that "hey arcane jackal does Some Buckwild Violence Bullshit and they don't care/enjoy it bc arcane jackal is very much a serial killer here. they're not a good person"

JUST. ik a lot of us struggle with black and white thinking god knows i fucking do but just. the lack of nuance is upsetting

it's also very upsetting seeing kids in either community, especially with the casual way ive seen them suicide bait. and i know from personal experience that shit fucks you up, being on the receiving end and watching your friends being on the giving end like. that's gonna do more harm than good for your mental health in the long run man

#jackals barks #DONT rb and pls dont twist my words. i can elaborate if asked but this is not smthin i speak on often for paranoia reasons